Trying To Fix People's F*cked Up Relationships

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I'm gonna be trying to give the best relationship advice that I can. Now, fair warning, I am no expert. I'm just trying the best. I don't know. We'll see if it resonates at all. Before we jump in, just a reminder, you can watch these videos on Spotify. There's a video on Spotify now, so go check that out. My fiance wants his father to check my home in tomorrow night before I get married. What's the fuck's going on here? Oh, first of all, why did I even make it to you? If my dad said that to something like that to me, I'd be like, "Are you fucking insane?" And then I'd elbow him in the head, and I would never mention this to you at all. The fact that this even made it to you is crazy. My fiance proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. I'm a virgin and so is he. He wanted to save him from marriage, and I wasn't fussed, so I agreed to saving him. He has told me earlier that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. What are these people? Is this a common practice somewhere in the world? How do you even check a hymn? What is the process here? And where is this happening? Unless he's a doctor? But if he's just like come back in the garage, get your legs up on the hood of my Chevy, and let me check this thing out. Like, what are we doing? I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No. Turns out he was dead serious. He wants me the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing, so his dad can check me. While him, his brothers and uncle can watch, so that they know I am still pure. What the mother fuck is going on? This is like some fucking handmade stale shit. I told him fat chance I'm going to do that. I've never heard of fat chance before, but we're here. And he was begging me to go through with it, and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me. Slightly embarrassing! My guy, your uncle, brother, is you and your dad is in my thing searching around the full bag. What are we talking about? There is maybe nothing more embarrassing than this could be. This is insane. Bro, someone like pushing this on me? When I'm like, "No, I'm not comfortable with that. Be like, "Come on, please." I'd be like, "Get the fuck out of here. Forever. How's that?" But his mom did, and he'll prove how much I love him, and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I'm still a virgin. I left, and he was crying. He was very dramatic, to be honest. Crying? Oh my god. I want to call off the whole wedding because of this, and never talk to him again. But at the same time, it's only one thing, and then other than that, we are genuinely perfect for each other. And I don't want to spend my life with anyone else, and it is very important to him and his family. What the frick frack do I do? You get the fuck out of there, dude. I'm currently at my friend's house, and I might stay here for the night. Tomorrow would be our last day as an unmarried couple, but I am straight up panicking. It's kind of wild that this happened, and then you immediately went to your friend's house, and didn't make a decision on if you were going to stay there or not. And you immediately went to Reddit to, like, see, like, you know, other people are gonna give you advice. And here's my advice. Get the fuck out of there, dude. I don't even know what this could possibly be. This sounds like very, um, amish. I don't know, but I don't even think this is, like, an amish thing. But it feels like, you know, there's, like, a small community where they have certain rituals and maybe religious factors that go into these things. That's only the reason why I'm saying amish. This feels very inappropriate, especially if you're already saying that you're not down. I don't think that's a good sign for your relationship. You say you're genuinely perfect for each other other than this thing, but it's a pretty big thing. And it's not just the act. It's just the simple fact that he's asking this of you. You're clearly telling him this is uncomfortable. He understands that it's slightly embarrassing, but still wants you to go through with it. I don't like that. You know, that means that he's putting not only his own, but it doesn't even sound like it's his own. It sounds like he's putting, like, his family's stuff over your decision. You know what I mean? Like, he's trying to appease them over you. Like, hey, just put up with this so I could appease my family. What, dude, is this a sign for things to come in our relationship? Not good. Not good. I'd fucking say no. Oh, there was an update? Oh, no. What is it? She laughed 'em. She's gone. Good. First of all, start cursing. Let's get that out of the way, okay? Release some of this tension. You were just in a relationship where the dad almost checked your hymen. Let a fuck go or something. You know, my fiancee takes credit for all my ideas. My fiancee is a great guy and I'm happy overall. The thing that has started to hurt me is that when we are with friends and family or in any social setting, he will bring up all the things that are my idea and give me no credit. Some examples are the furniture in our house. I picked it all and I hear him talking to friends and family saying, "Yeah, I decided to get this couch and this rug because I wanted something timeless and charming." He takes my exact words. I've said to him and then gives me no credit. He never says us or we. That would piss me off, dude. That would piss me off. Right off it would piss me. I overheard him once, get complimented on his watch from a coworker and he said he had always had an eye on it and finally pulled the trigger last year. Meanwhile, it was a gift for me for our anniversary. He doesn't even know about watches. What, this guy's a piece of shit, dude? Not only is it that you're excluding the Wii and the whatever and you want credit for all this? Isn't it such a nice chair? Yeah, I picked it out. It's charming and timeless. What the fuck? But then also I get you a gift and you don't even acknowledge that it's a gift? This guy's an ass. One time I even heard him say that he convinced me to move to our town for the school district, even though it was the other way around. I can't. Nope, get this guy the fuck out of here. Get this narcissistic piece of shit out. Okay, can't have this. I burnt it up to him once and he said he's sure that he's giving me credit and that I'm probably overreacting. Do I even bring this up again? Don't bring it up. Bring it up for what? Does this liar can lie to you too? He's lying to everyone else. Yeah, I built this house. Yeah, I actually have the mayor of this town. Where does it stop? You've brought it up to him and you've said, hey, you know, I picked out the couch. You know that. Why are you telling people that you picked out the couch? Why not give me any sort of credit? You're racing me from the history of your life by not including me in these things. You told someone you picked out the watch. I picked out the watch. You don't even know the watch. You can't even tell time. Why are you saying that you picked out the watch? There. That's not nice. And here's the payback. You're erased. See you later. My boyfriend is a little too loose with the poop talk. I'm not one of those girls that can't accept the fact that people poop. I actually hate when people in relationships pretend they don't poop. But lately, my boyfriend has been a little too open with the poop talk. He wasn't always this way, but I think as we've gotten more comfortable with each other and he found out I don't avoid mentioning poop, he's gotten a little carried away. When he excuses himself now and it's just us, he will say something like, "I'm going to explore the chocolate river, babe." Or, this is a sit-down job, not a standing job. Oh my god, I'm using that one. Recently he made me pause the movie and then he came back and said, "Bit of an unexpected mudslide, but we cleaned her up nice." Oh my god. Again, I can handle poop talk, but he's getting a little too comfortable. Funny thing is, I was planning on having sex with him that night, but the mudslide comment made me hold back. Do I bring this up to him? And how? Absolutely do, because right now, first of all, that is hysterical. All of that is funny to me. However, if my partner came to me and was like, "Hey, I don't really like what you talk like that," then I wouldn't. You know, so you have to correct this, because, I mean, clearly he's having fun doing this. He's got, that's three very creative ways to say you're taking a shit. Bit of an unexpected mudslide, but I cleaned her up nicely. It is so unnecessary to say, especially when you're winding down and watching movies together, there's a possibility of sex on the horizon, but you just ruined it with your shit. Yeah, you got to communicate this. You really have to say that. I would say that if your boyfriend, if you brought this up to him and said, "I don't really like that, you talk that way," like, can we just dial it back a little bit? I don't care, but just chill. It's kind of gross. And if he just kept doing it, that's a problem. He's just not respecting your wishes, and he's talking about, you know, sit down jobs and chocolate rivers and shit. You'd be like, "All right, bro, I fucking told you already. Please stop doing that, and you're still doing it." But I would just be completely honest straight up. "Hey man, don't like it. I think it's a little gross. Can you dial this back?" And hopefully he says, "Yeah." All right, before we get to the rest of this video, we do have some sponsors. 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The only thing that's making it hard for me to propose is the fact that I've caught her a few times doing something strange. God. So about four weeks ago, I looked into our room and saw that she was watching TV and picking some dead skin off the bottom of her foot and eating it. No! No! I yelled, what are you doing? She brush it off and said she didn't know why she did that. She knows why she did that. A couple weeks later, I started doing the same thing on the couch. I told her I thought it was a little unsanitary and she denied that she was doing it. I got a mouthful of foot skin. And you're like, what are you doing? She's like, no, no, it's gum. A week ago, I caught her again, but this time didn't say anything. I've basically confirmed that this is a habit of hers and she seems to be doing it whenever she's alone. Part of me wonders if it's something she can't control, but it's grossing me out. I've been avoiding kissing her. And I'm not sure how to bring this up in a way that could actually get her to stop. Wow. Um, this one is kind of stumping me. I think avoiding kissing her is a little much. I mean, I definitely would be like, that is so gross. Why do you do that? Like, what's going on? It would bother me if she's like, I'm not doing it. I could smell foot on your mouth. What do you mean? You know, I kissed you earlier this morning and it smelled like a sock. So like, you're just, it's weird. Stop doing it. Please. I mean, the beginning of this is interesting because you're like, I plan on proposing. This feels like a roadblock in that decision where you're like, I could propose to her, but she's eating her foot and I don't fuck with that at all. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I would definitely just have like a conversation and be like, listen, I know that you're doing it. I saw you doing it last week. I've called you two other times doing it. I don't know why you're even pretending like you're not. I understand that maybe you're a little embarrassed by that. But can we at least talk about it? I would have way more empathy if you told me that you had sort of like this impulse thing. I've done it since I was a kid and I can't really control it. And like, I've tried and I'm trying. But you know, whatever, like at least then we can kind of be in it together. But you pretending like it's not happening, but smelling like a foot is, you know, it's fucking me up and you're just, this is deceitful. You're lying to my face. I know you're a foot monitor. Just say it. My brother slept with every girlfriend I had for a decade before I went no contact and now my parents want me to reconnect with him. What? This always happened while I was still dating the girls. What? Two of them I was very serious about and avoided bringing them home because of my history with my girlfriend and my brother. And even those were girls he slept with. Every time I was reminded by different extended family members that we were siblings and I shouldn't hate him forever for being young and dumb. He'd apologize some of the time, not all the time. Eventually I cut him off completely. Years later, he was involved in a car accident and he sustained some serious, but non life threatening injuries. My parents called me to tell me and they wanted me to be at the hospital with the rest of the family and I refused. He has now settled down and is a father. I still hate his guts and have nothing kind to say about him, but the pressure is getting to me somewhat. My wife supports me either way and she told me I need to do what feels right for me and not for him or them. I'd like to hear the advice of others before I make my final decision, which is heavily leaning toward continuing my boundaries and saying and staying no contact. God damn, bro. I think you have every right to cut this person off. That's kind of like, it's not like, oh, we were just young and dumb. It's like, bro, it was all of them. What do you mean? Maybe that happens once because you guys connect to whatever, but like, and you know that's going to upset me and you continuously did it. And those are like pretty big things that you're doing to me as your brother. And now I feel like I can't bring these girls home because you're doing this thing. And then I feel that way and then I reluctantly bring them home anyway and it happens again. Like you just don't respect me. You're being completely disrespectful and you're not thinking of me. You're not mindful of me in any sort of way. That doesn't feel like love. So I'm not going to reciprocate that. And I don't give a fuck that you got into some car accident. Like that doesn't change the fact that you did those things. I feel bad that you got into a car accident. I'm happy you're still alive and you don't have any life starting injuries, but like that doesn't absolve you from the fucking decisions you've made before that. And unless you are willing to approach me first with a very heartfelt apology about, you know, there was a time in my life where I did that and I feel horrible about it. And, you know, I just want to move past this. I want to relationship with you. And I could never, but like if that conversation happens and it's more than just like, hey, dude, I'm sorry. Like, and I was young and it was stupid. Like, no, I need more than that. Unless you have a complete understanding of how much that has affected me, I'm not going to forgive you. Well, I guess I'll forgive you, but I'm not going like I still have my boundaries because you don't actually have an understanding of what it meant if you're just going to apologize. If someone's going to apologize to me for something they did, that was very hurtful to me. The apology has to reflect the damage that the thing did. So unless you have an understanding of how much this has deeply hurt me, I'm not going to remove the boundaries because you don't even get it. I'll forgive you so I don't have to think about it. Whatever, but I don't need to see you, dude. You are a bad person. Like, you don't care about me. If you did care about me or you didn't at that time because you were young and dumb and time has passed, you would care about me enough that your apology would make me feel that. Like, I would know how you feel about me. But if I can't get that, then fuck you. Like, I'm good on the boundaries. Boyfriends started crying when I showed him my savings. I don't even know if it's a lot or a little. If this guy insecure or he's worried, my boyfriend have seven years, 32 male and I, 28 female, are in the process of moving into our own apartment. We've been living with another couple in a house for the past five years, which has allowed me to save a fair amount of money. So now I made the mistake of showing him my savings account and he immediately shut down and got upset. He actually started crying at the restaurant during our dinner. It made me feel really awkward and bad. And I know he's mostly upset at himself for not managing his money better. He kept asking me, how did you save that much? And I don't get how you have so much and I have so little acting as if I have done something wrong. I will never understand this with men. I never understand how men can feel like a bothered or insecure that their partner, specifically women, are earning more than them or more successful than them. And that's an issue. How is that not ideal? I guess I am just wondering what you would do in the situation and how I can help him. I really regret being open with him about my financial situation with Sucks since we've been dating since I was 21 and I have known him since I was 19. Since we are moving into a place where just the two of us, and it will be more expensive. I am worried that this strain, this strain will only get worse. Yeah, I think it will only get worse. I think that this is a weird thing to be upset about, especially when you consider the fact that you guys are moving in together and you're going to be like sharing finances in some sort of way if you guys are a couple and you're at that point in your lives where you're a little older, 32 and 28. You assume there's going to be a little more financial transparency between you two. I don't think that, you know, it's completely up to everyone else what kind of transparency they actually have. But if you're moving in that direction in your life, a lot of people, they know exactly what their partner is making and how much money they have and they can like financial plan together. If your hesitant to do that or you regret bringing it up because it made them upset, I don't think that's the right course of action. He should definitely not be upset and you definitely shouldn't feel bad for saving money. What do we be talking about? He can be upset because he mismanaged his money. That makes sense. You could help him manage that better. Here's what I did to save. Here's how you can save and blah, blah, blah. That's how you'd be helpful. You would want that out of your partner. If he's upset at himself, that's different. If he's upset at the fact that like now he's comparing himself to you and now he feels like that's weird to me. Like that's a very strange thing. I don't think you should ever regret about being open about this, especially at this point of your lives. This is what you do. For him to feel so insecure about the fact that you're good at saving money, what are we saying? Saying it out loud, you even sound weird. I would be a little worried about this. Weird guy. Weird guy. Well, there you have it folks. That's all the relationship advice that I have today. Let me know if any of it resonated or where I got things wrong or what? Yeah, I don't know, but don't forget to subscribe. We'll see you next time.