Trump Hits Rock-Hard Bottom

Crooked Con is coming up right after the election, and we have just added a bunch more great names to the lineup. We've got Governor J.B. Pritzker coming, Senator Chris Murphy, and then over from the House side, Ilhan Omar, Robert Garcia, Sarah Jacobs, Jamie Raskin, Sarah McBride. We also have Carlos Eduardo Espina, Simone Sanders Townsend, Eugene Daniels, David Pakman, Jessica Tarloff, Heather McGee, and then all the other people that we've announced on the website, plus more to come. Great list. Check out the full lineup and get tickets right now at CrookedCon.com. We'd love to see you there. That's CrookedCon.com. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett, and we've got a great show for you tonight. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Pete Hegseth's staff broke a priceless globe that belonged to President and former Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower after the Defense Secretary demanded it be relocated to his office. Oh no, we've destroyed the world. Also, my globe's all fucked up, said Hegseth. Way to go, Captain Butterfingers, added the Defense Secretary, which is sadly how Major Butterfingers found out he was being demoted. Americans, meanwhile, have turned on the Trump administration over the Iran war, the Epstein files, and Trump's focus on pet projects and personal enrichment as daily costs rise. Plus, his secret weapon, America's beloved First Lady Melania, has been playing a reduced role ever since she never cared about any of this. And so Republicans are breaking out the classics, like this Super PAC ad airing widely. Michael is a normal guy. He loves a tailgate. And he kind of hates politics. He was ready to skip voting this year. But he remembered Democrats are crazier than his ex. They care more about their pronouns than his paycheck. Michael's a normal guy. He hates politics. His ex is crazy. His ex couldn't see a great normal guy standing right in front of her. Michael isn't even yelling. He's just upset. And it doesn't matter because he's leaving. Michael doesn't even know why Eric is talking to him right now. He has nothing to say to Eric, who swooped right in, didn't he? This is between Michael and his ex. And if she would just come to the door instead of sending dumb, tall, handsome Eric, who doesn't even have his shoes on, Michael could. Explain that she is being crazy. Anyway, this ad brings up pronouns like a high school quarterback showing up at the homecoming a decade after he graduated. Did somebody ask about the big game in 07? Funny you should bring it up. Here's Vice President Just a Dude Vance cutting it up at a rally on Wednesday. Do we have any birthing people out there? Or do we have mothers? It's a pretty effective attack as long as Republicans are trying to defeat a social media post that annoyed them in 2019. Here's the problem. That Vance and the Republicans are having. This is a chart of gas prices over the last 10 years. When we're here, okay, in this range, talking about pronouns could potentially work. When gas is under $3 a gallon, you can do some damage with pronouns. But here's the thing. We're up here, okay? And when gas prices are over $4 a gallon, people become much cooler with trans people. I don't totally understand why. I know it's a bit confusing, but in a sense, the two groups to come out ahead from this, from the Iran war, are the leaders of the Iranian regime and the trans community, which is ironic because both will probably be banned when we host the next Olympics. In Ohio, Vivek Ramaswamy has officially taken credit for that vile ad featuring Amy Acton's abusive mother. Like ISIS taking responsibility for blowing up a train station. Reminder, Acton's mother lost custody of her children after being accused of abuse and neglect and after her husband was charged with rape for his crimes against Amy when she was a child. Ramaswamy did take credit on Tuesday evening. It is an ad from our campaign. And the thing that I want to say is that I would love for this race and this election to be about the substantive issues that impact Ohioans. And unfortunately, Amy Acton has been hiding from those issues. I would love for this race to be about issues. Unfortunately, Amy Acton left me no choice but to produce an ad starring her neglectful, abusive mother who stayed married to Acton's rapist until the day he died. Not only should Vivek lose this and every other election, he should find himself so completely unwelcome in public life that he has to buy a new face. And he should have to get that new face in Ohio. He doesn't deserve the plastic surgeons we have in New York and Los Angeles. He gets the best face work possible in Cincinnati. And amid bipartisan outrage, Vance also defended the ad on Wednesday. Here he is at that Ohio rally. Now the media and the Democrats in the state of Ohio are obsessed because guess what? Vivek Ramaswamy had the audacity to run a TV commercial which calls it out like it is and calls Amy Acton a liar. Hey man, calling Acton a liar is not the part people are mad about. It's like saying everyone is obsessed with John Wilkes Booth because he yelled during a play. At a press conference before the rally, Vance also scolded Republicans like Meghan McCain and Nikki Haley who had criticized the ad. Whether the ad was appropriate or not is not really my concern. But I have to say, I have to admit that I'm a little bit disgusted when I see Republicans across the country who are whining more about that advertisement than they are about what the Congressional Democrats and other Democrats want to do to the United States of America. Amen, go off King, said America's pedophiles. Three days into the backlash, including criticism by Ohio's Republican governor, J.D. Vance then had this to say. Look, my prayers for her and for her family, getting in the middle of some of that drama is not something I want to do. You don't want to get in the middle of the drama, bitch. You're Hamlet, you're on stage, and you're holding a fucking skull. You are the drama. The ad is the drama, you support the ad. You're the source of the drama. This is abuse from 1978. It's almost 50 years old. The reason we are talking about it is because Vivek produced a despicable ad, a bunch of Republicans criticized it, and the part you found disgusting, in your own words, was the criticism. And then you're like, prayers to her family? What the fuck? And by the way, what's crazy about all of this is, Amy Acton is telling the story of how she escaped abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother when she was a girl in 1978, right? And then built this life, became a physician, made the most she could of herself, right? And now wants to come back and be a leader in Ohio. Who does that remind me of? Oh my gosh, it reminds me of a story I read by a guy named J.D. Vance in a book called Hillbilly Elegy, which he describes some of the challenges he faced from his mother, where he had to go live with his grandparents, right, that he overcame to get to the place where he is. And then he is going to return to Ohio and campaign against this woman and support using an ad that has the abusive mother who stood by her rapist to score political points in the homestretch of a campaign. And then he has the audacity to say he prays for her family and he doesn't want to be part of the fucking drama? Are you kidding me? Trump, of course, has continued to defend the ad as well. I know nothing about it other than the mother said horrible things about a person that's running for governor of a great state, right? A great state. And if it's even a little bit true, you don't want her as governor. I'm sorry, but he is just flat out lying. Ohio is not a great state. By the way, while Vance was in Ohio, he visited the Cincinnati Bengals locker room. And let's see how that played out. One fist bump. A handshake. Everybody else just walks by. End of interaction. Maybe Ohio is a great state. Trump hasn't just been defending the ad. Let's see how he's been doing out there on the hustings, like this appearance in South Carolina, discussing former governor Nikki Haley. I'd say 90% of the reason I took the governor. I took the governor. I put her over at the United Nations because I wanted, I wanted this guy to be, I wanted this guy to become governor. What the fuck was that? Play it again. One more time. Let's isolate and enhance. Was he making a disappointing noise? Did he burp? Did he glitch? What is that? What is that? Then there was this moment in North Carolina. Thank you very much. I said, do I need a coat? Do I need an overcoat? They said, well, it's very marginal, sir. Very marginal. So I said, you know, I'd rather not wear one. I got a show. I'm all men. We're all men. We're all men. We're women. We're whatever the hell we are. But I know one thing. There's only two of us, right? There's not seven of us. There's not six of us. And when I saw seven sets of footprints on the beach, that is when I knew all the different genders were carrying me. Nothing is more manly, by the way, than bragging about being able to get through a speech on a fall day in the American South with only a light jacket. Like the men who took the cliffs at Pointe du Hoc. And then Trump returned to one of his favorite recent topics. The body of Ohio Senator John Husted, who, of course, has absolutely no connection to North Carolina. So he's over here. I'm over here. And I'm studying his body. I've never studied the body of a man before. It's not my thing. Nothing wrong with it, of course. But I looked at his ass. And then I looked at his legs. And I said, his ass is like, it's like a pile of muscle. Then I looked at his legs. And I said, man, his feet are big. Then I looked at his shoulders, and I tapped him on the shoulder. And it actually hurt my hand. We even have a photo of Trump's hand after the tap. See, this is why people have turned on Trump. You don't have enough money in your bank account, but even Trump's Spank Bank is overflowing. Trump has been thirsting over Husted so much, his vice president is poking fun at him. Don't worry. I'm not talking about John Husted's ass. I'm not talking about him. And true to his word, Vance focused the rest of his speech exclusively on Husted's magnificent dick and balls. Even Newt Gingrich is taking potshots. The best of my knowledge, and I knew Reagan pretty well, he was not an ass man. At least not about guys. Gingrich went on, But if he was, he'd be like, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down them drawers. And Husted wasn't the only man on Trump's mind. He shared his thoughts on South Carolina Senator Tim Scott as well. And then you have a certain senator that I happen to, as much as I can fall in love with a man, which isn't that much, I fall in love with him. And his name happens to be Tim Scott. It must be so galling for Tim Scott. He has to spend his whole life pretending to be to be straight, and Trump gets to go around the country pretending to be gay. Mr. President, you are so funny. I, too, like John Husted's ass, which we can all proudly say now, praise God, I want to fuck John Husted. I want to touch his beautiful body. I'm just kidding. We're all straight married men. I have a wife, a beautiful man. D, Mandy, Mindy. I love men. I mean, man. I love my wife, Mindy. USA, USA, USA. But don't worry. Trump did finally weigh in on a female senator, Darlene Graham of South Carolina. Then you have Darlene and her very handsome husband, Dick. Now that it's been proven a success, I'm proud to reveal Antifa's newest bioweapon, Alzheimer's, that turns you gay. Speaking of which, the left-wing media outlet, The Young Turks, has released The Closetocracy, a documentary on the late Senator Lindsey Graham's secret gay sex life. And let me just say right off the bat, The Dog features interviews, with three male escorts allegedly hired by Graham, one of whom was underage at the time. Here's a clip. My name is Kelvin. I had sex with Lindsey Graham as a minor. I'm Corey, and I had sex with Senator Lindsey Graham. I am Jesse, and I had sex with Lindsey Graham. Say what you will, but Lindsey Graham was clearly a job creator. It's also unfair that Graham isn't alive to respond to The Young Turks, or as Graham would have known them, the old enough for me Turks. As the midterms descend into vitriol and trivia, the challenges we face as a society remain. On Wednesday, the FBI and NSA issued a warning about two critical vulnerabilities detected by AI in PHP programming language relied on by almost 70% of websites. OpenAI said the weaknesses have been present for almost a decade and identified the gaps before hackers could exploit them. Yeah, that's right. AI did something good. Maybe think about that when your ears are bleeding because a rogue AI released a super catchy song that makes your brain vibrate. Until you no longer can do math. I'm reading a book about all the things that AI is going to do to kill us. It's really on my mind. You had a knowing look like you're reading that book too, no? Okay, well, I'm reading it, and yeah, it's sort of keeping me up at night. I feel like I've seen something from the future, and now I'm supposed to just go about my life. You know, like in Terminator 2, when Sarah Connors keeps having visions of the future, and then she sees the kids playing in the park, and then they all catch fire. That's where I'm at this week. OpenAI added in a statement, as significant as they are, these bugs are among several significant vulnerabilities we've already found and are working to fix, and we expect similar findings to increase sharply in the coming months. But will instances of AI identifying weaknesses increase sharply, then level off into an online environment that is, for the most part, stable? Or will this kick off an escalating cat-and-mouse game between AI detectives and AI hackers in perpetuity? If I had to guess, it's the second one. But I've been wrong before. One time in a Crooked merch store, I pitched, and this is real, pizza boxes with different non-Italian ethnic stereotypes on them. That was the whole idea. What would be in the boxes? Nothing. In Canadian prison drone news, a Canadian prisoner used a drone to deliver McDonald's to his cell last week. The inmate, Hamilton B. Ergler, better known as the Hamburglar, has since been transferred to a maximum security facility until his scheduled execution next week. According to the paper, he's set to be put to death at midnight. How? By frying squad. Added Mayor McCheese, while consoling Grimace's family, ba-da-ba-ba-ba, justice will be served. And finally, a mysterious humanoid creature was spotted killing chickens near the U.S.-Mexico border. Whoops, wrong photo. That's apologies to Ambassador-at-Large Barbara Thornhill. No, one UFO investigator suggested the creature could be from another dimension. That, or it's a lizard. Either way, pretty exciting. And we wish the mysterious humanoid creature from another dimension luck in his new role as White House press secretary. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight, and we'll be right back with Punky Johnson. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've been on the fence about therapy, and you shouldn't be, now's the perfect time to explore it through our longtime partner, BetterHelp. Insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average cost of $1,000. I have just $23 per session for eligible members. Prioritizing your emotional well-being is vital at any stage of life. You don't need to wait for a crisis or major life event to start therapy. It can simply serve as a safe space to talk through daily life, whether that's work stress, relationship friction, or just a quiet feeling that things are off. You gotta have therapy. Everybody needs therapy. I should be in therapy, but I'm just so busy, you know? Just so busy. But that's an excuse. That's an excuse. If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 planned networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com slash loveit to explore your payment options. That's betterhelp.com slash loveit. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by PolicyGenius. Setting yourself up for a smooth day often comes down to the little things, like setting out your clothes before bed or prepping meals on Sunday afternoon. A quick act of preparation goes a long way towards making tomorrow easy. And when it comes to protecting your family's future, taking a quick moment to prepare now can bring years of confidence. PolicyGenius makes it simple to protect your family's financial future no matter what comes next. Prioritize peace of mind by locking in your life insurance today. PolicyGenius is an online insurance marketplace that allows you to compare quotes from some of America's top insurers side-by-side for free. Their license team helps you get what you need fast so you can get on with your life. Easily find what you need. Coverage amounts, prices, terms, no guesswork, just clarity. PolicyGenius helps you find your most affordable policy, that meets your needs. They answer questions, handle paperwork, and advocate for you throughout the process. PolicyGenius has thousands of five-star reviews on Google and Trustpilot from customers who found the best policy fit for their needs. With PolicyGenius, you can find 20-year life insurance policies starting at just $276 a year for $1 million in coverage. Head to PolicyGenius.com slash love it to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save. That's PolicyGenius.com slash love it. And we're back! We'll have Punky Johnson out in just a moment. But first, Crooked's limited series, Long Play, about the ever-changing political landscape of the American South is back on the air. Last season, political expert Jennifer Palmieri and award-winning journalist Aaron Haynes introduced us to the battleground states in the South that could define the midterm election. And as tensions rise within Trump's coalition and Republicans back out of frontline districts across the country, they decided it was time to get back on the road to report on the unlikely swing states Democrats are competing in to win back the South. Whether you heard the first news, or are new to the show, it's a must-listen for understanding this campaign. Subscribe to Long Play wherever you get your podcasts. All right, my first guest has a new stand-up special out this week called Long Titty Short Story. Meanwhile, my comedy is more No Titty Extremely Long Story. Let our powers combine and welcome Punky Johnson. Good to see you again. What's up? Congrats on the special. Thank you, thank you. You see, Punky Johnson, you seem to be working through some stuff. I was working through a lot of stuff at the time. Yes, yes. Obviously in the title. Yeah, yeah. You talk about what it felt like to not be on SNL anymore. Yes, I did. About the end of your marriage. Ooh, ugly, dirty. How's it been going? Life after divorce? Yeah. Life after SNL? Both. Life after divorce? It's been great. I've been buck wild. I've been having a lot of fun. Um, experiment. with a lot of different things and women because you know i was with her since i was a kid i was with her since i was like 15 16 years old so we were together more than half my life so that was it was very devastating when i had to leave that marriage but um now i have a black and puerto rican girlfriend so i'm going on a ride with that we're gonna see where that takes me um she's black every day but when she gets mad she is extremely puerto rican um never know what you're gonna get but other than that i'm having good time i app the snl i got a girl i got a special i'm on a tv show coming out next next week god has been good that's great yeah i find you know when you come out of your first long relationship especially haven't been in another relationship before it's interesting in your next relationship when there are issues you're like oh man that was me yeah you know you you know that like 100 you know like oh i when i was bad about something in that last relationship that was on i was totally in the wrong oh no i brought this to both of them i was yeah um i realized i'm terrible at relationships um i was with her forever so i i never i've been in two relationships my entire life so i was with her and i'm with this other girl and the other chick is like you don't know shit she hates she don't hate me but she's like this is how you communicate this is how you talk to your partner if i'm sad come touch my back don't just look at me and be like tough titty get over it because that's what i do i talk to her like my mother talks to me i'm like the world don't owe you shit get up and she's like you don't do that in relationships so i'm learning how to be a little bit more sensitive great because it seems like you had only to go up i'm just i'm i am constantly learning how to do this thing and like once my daddy found out i was gay he raised me so i act and i communicate like a man she hates the way i don't like if like let's say all right somebody in family lost their job right family member oh man punky i lost my job i'm like dang bro that's crazy keep your head up so i'll call her yeah man you know robin lost his job why i'm like i don't know he just lost his job man i told him keep his head up she'll be like you don't get none of the details she's like you're just like a goddamn man i'm like we don't you know i don't you know my job is to come home sign the check pay the bills make sure you got a roof over your head like my daddy taught me what i don't get the details it's funny because i do think like a lot of there it was something that you would hear in a gay couple that you don't hear as much anymore maybe not maybe certainly not in sort of places that feel more kind of cosmopolitan and pro-gay it used to be like oh which one's the girl which one's the boy yeah that became something you're not supposed to say but then but well i'm just just sort of because it's like well we're we're not we don't have to obey those rules we're not always playing different roles but that's what i'm saying but then inside inside of gay relationships there i don't think you're always the boy or always the girl whatever but you do have that dynamic where like you know like i'm the one that cries at the end of the shows you know right that's my role that's your role that's my role i cried you the crier i am the crier okay i am the crier got it i want to talk about my feelings me i don't someone say oh my did someone say oh my god i love it i love it when the woman says oh my god oh my god stop it she's over it she's over it she's like uh uh get over it uh uh but then you also don't like the word queer you don't know no it doesn't apply you know what queer to the ear to my ear is just a little soft it's just a soft word i don't feel like people of the world respect us when we call ourselves i don't feel respected if i you know but i feel respected you know ain't nobody gonna play with a butch yeah you know what i'm saying and queers are like super nice and joyful cheerful you know i'm i'm brash aggressive i ain't never seen no brash aggressive queer you know what i'm saying so it's just it's just like there's some you know what's so funny you're saying this where our brash aggressive lesbian queer head writer happens to not be here because she took the night to go see chablerone and i'm afraid she's gonna come busting through this fucking thing like the like the kool-aid man to hear like you want to see a brash aggressive queer i will flip this fucking couch over if she was normally at that table she'd be running full speed up through this thing well you know if i don't if people want to identify as queer you do that i want my queer community to accept the fact that i just don't want to be identified as that and not they don't they don't pick on me but they'd be like you ain't a real gay and i'm like i'm like i'm gay as hell yeah i'm telling you now i didn't realize that you would cook food in your dressing room at snl not like a panini uh we're talking about seafood can we just roll a clip real food uh oh this is you're making shrimp in your dressing room at 30 rock that's raw shrimp that's a that's you're washing chicken you're using an air fryer yeah uh yeah yeah you didn't see the crock by that crock pot in that too is it possible that this may have played a role in the shortening of your snl tenure is it possible well the thing is i'm just listen listen i'm i'm just i'm gonna just keep it a buck i feel like i was underutilized at that show so i was just like i'm not gonna just sit here i'm gonna if i if i if i ain't on a set i'm at least be in the pot you know what i'm saying everybody worried about if they're gonna be on tv i was worried about if my room was thick enough you know i was just you get were you able to get the root brown enough on the during that yeah yeah you gotta you just gotta you just gotta keep moving i had all the time in the world right i had every bit of that 45 minutes to get that root brown because some people don't wait enough on the root they go they take that root off can't rush the root people people they go too fast they're taking off before it's reached that deep dark color that really upsets me right because if you know you're making a rule you gotta stick with it make time take time for you gotta don't have 15 minutes and then get mad at the root and by the way you gotta go low you gotta go slow that doesn't mean you can just bail out early when we're in sort of like a light caramel color we have to get this root to be dark you gotta you gotta really love it too yeah cooking is therapeutic for me i start thinking and talking to myself and you know just regretting things and and saying damn i really had to curse her out like that and you know sometimes it fixes my relationships it does sometimes because i think when i cook me too i love cooking i i do i i find that i do it's you're very present you're not you can't really be on your phone right and and if either if you're cooking from scratch without a recipe maybe you can kind of i don't know like be have your mind wander but if you're in a recipe you're really kind of sticking with it and i'm not i'm not like as i haven't enough it's been cooking long enough that it's effortless to me or like like i have to really think through all the steps and i find that that's a well i like i cook a lot but i like i i find that i liked i'd rather go slow and really be methodical i like to go slow with my cooking yeah i don't like to be disturbed i put all the trinity y'all know what the trinity is all right good good if you add garlic to it they call it the pope what's this what are what are we talking about i don't know i don't know i don't know what are we talking about the trinity is uh onions bell pepper and celery okay now if you add garlic to it that's the pope and i put that in almost all of my food celery you got to chill with the celery though because the celery could overpower it so just not that much yeah i like doing carrot carrot garlic onion that's my go-to see ain't no wrong with a little carrot ain't no wrong little carrot that's good for the eyes hey did you win the breakup huh did you win the breakup with my ex-wife yeah she you know it's a very tough subject to talk about you know in in in my in my special i stayed on the surface that's why they short stories because i could have went deeper into what actually really happened um yeah i tried to i tried my hardest to talk about the divorce with care you know because the relationship is over but the respect is still there you know what i'm saying but it it it was brutal it was really brutal she she i'm gonna just cut to the chase respect she's an addict so you can't be with an addict i try to you can see potential in an addict um and you can have hope for the addict but they have to they have to embody that it's not it's not you it's tough you can't be you have to get away what if you're addicted to compliments i'm just kidding well that's a really great question let's talk about it no i'm not in you're in therapy i'm not in therapy i'm out um i'm all i cured myself so i'm good right now i'm in the weirdest thing right now i'm in couples therapy oh wow yeah that's good well we kind of we kind of had to because we want to have a baby and the doctor's like well y'all gotta go therapy interesting it is interesting because all we do is fight now the therapy makes you fine you know what makes me mad she comes to therapy locked and loaded she has a list she's got a locked and loaded she has a notes app the whole way yes why don't you have a notes that make a list because i've been thinking we good but you gotta keep it gotta be like oh we had a great week we shouldn't even call auralee today you know and and she get on there she'd be like okay well let me tell you what happened on monday the 16th i'm like damn see this is you gotta be this is politics you gotta be ready someone's like hey like i don't think you're listening to me enough it's like i think you didn't do enough on this date exactly you gotta be able to change the subject writing every single thing down yeah that's healthy that's good it's not my fault i know how to i know how to compartmentalize because see i'm away a lot and i know how to just cut this emotional off and she's like you don't love me you don't miss me i'm like no bitch i'm at work now in your special you you mind your breakup but it's time for us to mind everyone else's in a segment we're calling heartbreak feels bad in a place like this i love okay great here's how it works we have collected embarrassing breakup stories from the crooked staff and the discord from the friends of the pod and thanks to everyone who submitted to let us laugh at your pain. Here's how it works. I'm going to read you an embarrassing breakup story, and you'll decide which is the more embarrassing until we get to the most embarrassing. Okay. Okay. First up, got dumped by the guy I was dating in my college comedy group while we were all on a trip for a comedy festival and then had to go play laser tag together because no one else knew we'd been hooking up. Also, I just got my wisdom teeth out and my face was swollen. Okay, so let's compare that story to this. When my ex broke up with me, I drunkenly shouted on the streets of WeHo, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. They were not, and I was too ashamed to go back and get my credit card from the bar afterwards, which is more embarrassing. That one. Yeah, I think that too. I think so too. Yeah. All right. Now, which is more embarrassing, this story or briefly dated someone in undergrad who said things weren't working out and wanted to end things. She then texted me a few days later and said, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. She then texted me a few hours later to ask for my friend's number because she thought he was a better fit for her. And then when I agreed, she blew up at me for not fighting for us. Okay. Okay. That's, I mean, it's insane. I mean, you know, it sounds insane. It's almost like when my girl tells me to leave and I leave. Oh yeah. You're not supposed to do that. I didn't know. I follow instructions. You know, if you tell me to go, I'm gonna go. Maybe that's right. She's telling me to leave. I leave. And then I get in trouble for leaving. And now we fighting about me leaving. Plus what we was fighting about in the first place. I'm confused. It's hard. I need help. Yeah. Yeah. We all do. And we all do. Um, I think the first story is still more embarrassing. All right. That one's just crazy. Yeah. That's one's more sort of you dodged a bullet, you know? Uh, uh, I believed that cosmopolitan, the magazine contained great tips on how to be a fun, fearless female. And so I dressed up as a Catholic school girl for Halloween. I went over to my then boyfriend's house where he lived with four other guys for a Halloween party. I played a spirited round of beer pong and then he broke up with me. I walked home by myself, crying tears of fury, dressed like the preview image of a browser's video. So just dressed up as like a Catholic school girl and then got dumped. Not so bad. I still think the, yeah, I think so too. Anything that's public like that, public breakups are the worst. Yeah. I agree with that. Uh, next up, I was in a college production of 12th night, and I was Viola and I started hooking up with Duke Orsino and it turned out that he got blackout drunk and only made out with the boy playing Sebastian, uh, which he drunkenly confessed to me. I broke up with him immediately. He then cried and we got back together. Then he broke up with me again five days later because he said I should have stood up for myself and it made him feel bad to be around me. That's just funny. Dumped someone and then took them back. And then that made them feel as though they shouldn't be together. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough and it's funny, but it's not embarrassing. Okay. Okay. All right. Next up. Am I right? Okay. Okay. Strong feelings. Next up in high school, I broke up with my first girlfriend by email because things were going too well and I wanted to break up while we still had nice memories of each other because I was convinced I'd ruin everything. Fast forward 12 years and we're best friends who regularly travel together. I, I think you as a person are embarrassing. Yeah. I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like that. I, you know, I mean, listen, you know, sometimes I might cause a little bit of trouble when I'm bored. Sometimes I don't trust myself with relationships. Yeah. I tell anybody, you know, before I got this, this woman I'm seeing right now, I would tell all the women to run. I'm crazy. And I'm not like crazy. Like I'm going to do you anything. I'm just crazy. Like I just, I'm goofy. I have problems. Hmm. You know, like I'll come to the house. I'll rip the curtains off the, off the wall. You will. Yeah. Well, you shouldn't do that. I know. But you seem to know that you shouldn't. I know. You have clarity about it. I know. I'm work. I am. And I am constantly working to better myself. And I'm, I'm just happy that the woman I'm with is allowing me the space to do that. That's good. Yeah. She sounds tough too, though. You got, it seems like you need to be with someone. Oh no, she don't play with, she don't play. Right. You need someone that's going to hold her own. She don't play. Yeah. Cause you'll, I feel like you, you'll take up space that someone will give you. Yeah. That they have to take up space. Yeah. You have to put your foot down with me. I love a woman. You put your foot down. I love when women talk to me like this. That's why I can never be with a guy. Cause I don't, you know what I'm saying? Cause dudes be like, bruh, bruh, bruh. I'm like, I don't, I don't like the slap hand. Don't, don't, I don't do that. I don't know if this is appropriate, but that felt a little Puerto Rican. Well, she, she, this, this thing. It felt a little bit of that. Right. And then sometimes she'd be like, like, like that. I love it. It was, it straightens me up real fast. That's cool. I love it. It's just like, and you better, you know, and you better get it together. And then I, and then I, and then I get it together. Next up, last one. My partner became too controlling. So I planned to break up with her, but I knew she would be a huge help in my upcoming move across state. So I stayed with her until I moved and then broke up with her. That's that. He's just a piece of shit that you can't use people like that. He says that to, to make me not a complete villain, I let her keep my huge cooler so she could use it to travel cross-country post-breakup. I mean, Hey, you know, a cooler, hey, consolation prize for an embarrassing breakup. The reason why I'm trying to be a better person is because you really weep what you sell. So I'm trying to put in a good effort in my relationship. I don't want to do, ever do anything like that. That's insane. He's never going to have a good girlfriend. So you're saying that the reason you want to be a good person is because you think if you're not a good person, there may be a harm that comes to you. Which means the reason you're being a good person is so that good things happen for you. Absolutely. Which is a terrible reason to be a good person. Presumably you should want to be a good person, even if bad things happen to you, right? Like I want to be a good person, even if it doesn't lead to benefits because I just want to be good. If you only want to be good, so good things happen, then you're really being good for the good things, not for your own good. Okay. Let's rephrase. Okay. Okay. I do good because I don't want to do bad because when you do bad, you definitely will. We'll get bad, if that makes sense. Yeah. I do good all the time. You'll never know it because I don't film it like the rest of the world. Oh, that's a mistake. You got to film your good deeds. I can't, otherwise it didn't happen. I take care of so many people. I dish out so much money. I take care of the homeless. I donate to all kinds of organizations. I am fire. I don't expect anything back, even when I get money to borrow. However, I don't do bad. I try not to do bad things because I don't want the bad things to happen. So, I guess it was. I say it wrong. I like that. I like that. You know what? Another thing. I don't know if I like the way you analyzed and broke me down like that. You know what's funny? I felt you building towards that. I felt you getting mad at me. You're like, "Why am I being fucking defensive on this fucking podcast?" I was like, "What? Goddamn sick." What the. What the. What the fuck? I'll tell you. Everybody, go check out Punky's new special, Long Titties, Short Stories, on YouTube right now. Right now. And we'll be right back. Thank you, guys. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Willy's Remedy. Unwind without the hangover, Willy's THC-infused social tonic gives you the relaxation and social fun with zero morning regrets. Willy's is an alcohol alternative that actually works, delivering an uplifting euphoric buzz you can really feel with no negative side effects. Willy's is a premium THC-infused social tonic crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson, who is an expert in weed. Very few people could credibly call themselves a name you can trust in THC, but yeah, he's one of them. 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Order now at drinkwillys.com and use code lowly for 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders over $95. That's code L-O-L-I at drinkwillys.com or use the store locator to find Willy's on shelves near you. Like your local Total Wine, Spex, ABC, or local liquor store. Long play, our docu-series exploring the people and forces shaping the South is back. Newsflash, the South is the new political epicenter of the country. Democrats are way on their heels in this region, but Republicans are going through their own reckoning in the South too. We're in the final stretch of the midterms, and the political map has only gotten more competitive with new states and districts emerging as potential flips. So we thought it was time to get back out on the road and take a closer look at what's going on. I'm Erin Haynes, journalist and expert on all things Southern politics. And I'm Jennifer Palmieri, former White House communications director. Tune in on Mondays to Long Play series on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Please welcome to the show puzzle master and magician, David Kuang. David Kuang: Thank you. I'm David Kuang. And I'm Erin Haynes, journalist and expert on all things Southern politics. And we're back. Good to see you. David Kuang: Good to see you. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Now, Punky and I both have separately just been guests on the show. And I'm David Kuang. Now, Punky and I both have separately just been gathered on your show, The Puzzle Room. I did it with my friend and comedian, Guy Branum. Would you say that the two of us were among the more competitive guests that you've had on the program? You were the competitive guest. The most competitive guest. I noticed that you did not cut out the part where I thought I'd buzzed in before Guy and you had called on Guy and I'm reduced to sputtering nonsense. Could have been edited out. You could have lightly edited just that last little bit where I literally stopped being cogent. But you did choose to leave it in the show. Yeah, you asked us to go to the tape and we went to the tape and you were first. I was first. I was first on the buzzer. You know, Punky was on the show just yesterday. Just yesterday! I had a ball. What is your relationship with the dark arts, the magic? It's spooky. It's very spooky to have something happen in front of your face just like that. You're looking at it, you're watching it and your eyes have deceived you. The reveal at the end, the trick you did at the end of the episode with me and Guy, it was shocking. I still am shocked. In fact, it was so shocking, I haven't even really fully processed it. I haven't gone back and been like, it was so impossible that I am haunted by it. I just want you to know that. That's the highest compliment, I think. Yeah. Can AI do magic? Can AI do magic? Yes. I mean, yeah. I think we're all in trouble. I mean, we're. I think you'd be last. I think what I do is AI resilient. Resilient. Because I think practical theatrical magic, people are going to want to put their phones away, their AI away to come to the theater for a couple hours and unplug. You also write New York Times crossword puzzles. Yes. Now, I don't know if we've talked about this, but so I had a streak in which I had to get gold. And in the New York Times crossword app, if you solve the puzzle without help and on the day or within the day, you get a gold. a star, literally. And I clearly have needed them since I was a small child. But so I became so obsessed with the crossword. So they put the next day's puzzle up the night before. And so I couldn't go to bed until I'd done the next day's puzzle for fear that I wouldn't get it done by the time the next day came. And sometimes like a Thursday, a Friday, a Saturday will take me like 30 minutes or more. It's supposed to, yeah. Or even an hour. I mean, just a long time. Sunday too. And it became a big preoccupation in my life. And then I accidentally. I accidentally missed a day and I haven't done a crossword since. You've been liberated. It freed me, but I do love. What is the biggest challenge in making a New York Times crossword? Being original. The number one constraint is that there are 365 days a year. And since Will Shorts took over in the early 90s, there's been a different puzzle with a different theme and a different trick. And to come up with a new bit of. You can see why I love. Why I think magic tricks are puzzles and puzzles are magic tricks. If you can come up with a new way to fool people, misdirect them, a twist, a turn, that makes for a good puzzle. Yeah, it's more like Thursdays. Thursdays have little tricks in it. Yep, that's right. Thursdays are the best. Thursdays and Sundays. I know a lot about Mel Ott. You do, yeah. You hear a lot about Mel Ott in those puzzles. And also Bobby Orr. Yeah, and Moises Alou. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. We get Rue in there a lot too. Rue? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Rue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Rue does show up a lot, you know? But you'll find a tricky way to get back to Rue, you know? Blank the day kind of thing. Okay. You know? I like it. Huh? You went to Harvard. I did. And you studied magic there? Yeah, that's not. That's. Are you my parents? I've had this conversation before. That's not on the diploma, but I was a history major and I focused all my studies on the history of Houdini and Keller and things like that. And Thurston and the Golden Age of Magic. Boy, you're poor parents. And your son's at Harvard. Is he. Yeah, what's he. Is he pre-med? No. Law school? No. What's he doing? Is he biomedical research? Something like that? Anything of that nature? No. What's he studying? It's kind of history. What kind of history? European history? The history of war and conflict? Anything like that? No. No. He performs at bar mitzvahs. Yeah. Now. But now I'm on Netflix. Come on. Now you're on Netflix. Hey, come on. Take that, mom. What's it like? What's the magic? So LA has a pretty big magic community. There's a magic castle. What's it like inside of that world? Is it competitive? Are there rivalries? Are there great vitriols? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's very competitive. We're all frenemies, if not enemies. The big problem is these tricks, they've been around for 120 years. And we're mixing and matching those principles, those effects, trying to create something new, put a fresh coat of paint on it. But people feel stolen from all the time. And you can't protect a magic trick. There's no copywriting for magic. Huh. It's all expression. And so it's about finding your own twist on these things, developing it. Is there something that you feel like you've. Like, is there an example of you developing or changing or kind of improving upon something that you feel, like, very proud of? Yeah, yeah. The crux of my whole career is that I realized on my 30th birthday, I threw a party at the magic castle and I thought I'd do a trick for everybody. And I decided to have somebody choose a playing card. And then I built a crossword puzzle as quickly as possible on stage using words and letters that everybody's thrown up to me. And at the end, I revealed that the card is hidden in the crossword. Usually on the diagonal, sometimes it goes like this. And that's really just pick a card, any card, right? You can reveal it in your shoe, you can, in your pocket, you can sky write the seven of diamonds or you can hide it in a crossword. So it was a way of me, like, cross-pollinating the two worlds that I loved of magic and puzzles to make something new. I feel like years ago, you were, we were at a party at a house. And it was a party with a bunch of celebrities. Okay. And then you were doing, like, kind of, everyone's like, oh, you know, David's going to do, you're going to do the crossword with everybody. And then a very, very, very, very famous man would not stop interrupting to the point where the host had to say to this extremely famous man, would you please stop interrupting David? He is in the middle of a trick. I remember the part, we'll have to unpack this later. I remember the party. You sure wasn't, okay. Yeah, I'm, I am, I know exactly who it is. Yeah. And I, I, yes. It was, look, when you're, when you're in LA and you're doing for all these actors, they want to be the center of attention. It's wild. It was wild. They don't like to be fooled. Yes. Yeah. And they, well, they want to perform being fooled, but they don't want the time in between when you're getting to talk. Yeah. Which was really something so famous. It wasn't you. No. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not being like joking. Like this was a, like a mega, like a star had to be shushed. Yeah. In this party. And it was incredible because you, everybody was trying to watch you do this incredible thing. And this person wanted to be the center of attention. I always think about that. It was a long time ago now. I know exactly the party. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. That's funny. I want to know how you handle stuff like that. Because, you know, with comedy, we have to handle the hecklers. So what, what, how is it? Usually, usually I set that person up for something. So I'll, I, there's a trick I love doing. It's called a multiple selection card trick. Instead of just pick a card, any card, I have 10, I have 10, I have 10, I have 10 cards selected. And I will give that person, I'll have that person choose a card. And I know when I get to them and I say, what card did you choose? I'm going to find it now. I know they're going to give me the wrong card. And I'm already ahead of that. Yeah. Wow. So there are people that try to kind of throw the game. Yeah. Wouldn't that suck? So you're, you're, you're allowing them to throw the game because you're prepared for it. Wow. Yeah. You know what, you know what the greatest trick of all is? Understanding people. Well, I really love the show, The Puzzle Room on Netflix. Thank you. And you have agreed to play a game with us. Yes. From the show, which you're going to lead. So I'm handing it off to you. I'm going to lead it. And Punky and I are going to play. Yes, I'm ready. Yeah. All right, let's do it. So in the show, there was a pair of celebrity guests. They solve a couple of puzzles inspired by them. Then there's a game. Then there's a magic trick, my favorite type of puzzle. I did bring one of those puzzles. I got it right here. I'm going to read these to you. This is a puzzle called love it or leave it. Okay. We're going back to the original phrase here. Right. Okay. And the way you should interpret this is love it, the letters I-T. You're going to keep those letters. Leave it. The letters I-T are going to go away. Okay. So I'm going to give you a clue, and it might be something like this. Pleasant, like a well-behaved society, becomes what to raise a flag on would be polite, pull. Because polite, you love the I-T. And you keep it there, and then it goes away, and you get the second word, pull. Polite, pull. Interesting. Right. Oh, I got buzzers. Yeah. I feel dumb as hell. Should we record buzzers? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Who that? It's me. Okay. Okay, good. Okay. Here's your first one. You ready? Mm-hmm. So there's an I-T. You can all play along as well, by the way. We can all play along. I might need a breakdown. I don't think my brain wrapped. So here, look at that. Polite. Oh, it's okay to look at this? Well, I don't want you to. Don't look up here. Polite has an IT in it, and then the second word is pole because it's missing the IT. Right? And I'm going to clue polite, and I'm going to clue pole. All right? I still feel a little bit. First, don't worry about it because this guy is real good at it. Okay, all right. He's going to be smacking that buzzer. All right? So. Say that filthily. Yeah. All right, here's your first one. Lightheartedness in a serious moment becomes a tax imposed by the government. Oh, we got someone already. You said it. You said it. I'm not taking credit for this one. Someone in the audience shouted levy levity. That's right, levity. You did not say it really quiet. You're in a quiet room, and you said it out loud, and we all heard it. What's the answer? It was levy and levity. Levy. Okay. And you did great, and I'm proud of you. Yeah, great, great. Yeah, you guys can raise your hands if you got it. See if you can get it faster than these two. Here's your next one. Friendly relations or the name of the fictional New England island in Jaws becomes actress polar. Amity Amy. Amity Amy. All right, good job. You're good. Yeah, he's good. Okay. How about this? A connected set of rooms in a hotel becomes take someone to court. Sweet suit. Yeah, yeah, good. Sweet suit from the audience. Sweet suit. Very nice. Okay. All right, here's your next one. A guest who drops by becomes the sun-blocking brim of a cap. They're good. Who are you? Look at this. So just somebody from the audience shouted visor visitor. That's right. Great job. All right, Punky, how about this one's for you? Ready? Oh, damn it. Okay. Uh, uh, company that pioneered the paperless request to attend a party becomes the night before a holiday, for example. John's hovering. Press the button. Eve, Evite. Yes. Evite, Eve. Very nice. Okay. What Newton's apple demonstrated becomes the brown. It's gravy gravity. It is gravity gravy. Nice. The brown sauce for mashed potatoes. Okay. I got two more. I got two more. Here's a tough one. Provoke, as a protester might do, becomes a marbled gemstone. You have to pay attention. Provoke, as a protester might do, marbled gemstone. I don't know. What do we think, audience? Anyone got this one? It's a marbled gemstone. No. Oh, good job with getting over the IT. Very nice. But the IT is not in the gemstone. This is also a setting on your dryer. I mean, on your washer. Washing machine. A setting? Oh, agitate. Agitate. Agate. Yes. Very nice. Agitate, agate. I want your name and number. I want your name, number, and email. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crossword, crossword. You do? Yeah, right. My people. My people. Wow. Okay. How about this? You're going to like this one. Text at the bottom of a foreign film becomes understated and not obvious. Subtitle, subtle. Yeah. Subtitle, subtle. Subtitle, subtle. Can I try a feat of magic? Magic and magic. Let's see it. We'd love to. And now it's time for a magic trick. I need a pad of paper here. Yeah, there you go. I brought the biggest one possible. I got a marker. Can we try something? Yes, let's do it. All right. Yes. I'm going to see if I can get inside your brain a little bit. So you tour around a lot. Yes. Okay. I want you to think of a city in the U.S. Don't say it out loud. Okay? Get a city in mind. Some place you'd like to go. Okay. And I want you to imagine you're getting on a plane. Okay? Okay. And you get in your seat. You settle in. You fall asleep because of, you know, the change in air pressure. You know, the compressed in the cabin. You fall asleep. You take off. You wake up. And you're almost there. And you come to. Your eyes, they start to focus on the screen in front of you that says, you're 15 minutes away from this city. Okay. And you start to think about this place and what you might do there. Okay? And then, 10 minutes away, the sights and the sounds, and the smells of the city, five minutes away, two minutes away, you're excited, touch down, think about, I am here, look right here. Mm-hmm. Ooh, intimate. Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's try this. All right. You got a city in mind? Yes. All right. Can you tell everybody, I'm not changing it. I wrote it down on the biggest piece of paper ever. Can you say it for the first time? Okay. What is this city you're thinking of? Las Vegas. Las Vegas. That's exactly what I wrote down. Look at that. Ooh. What? Now, thank you. I need to know. I need to know. Thank you. What the? But you know, I was kind of in your brain. What the heck? See, I was kind of in your brain. I want to show you something. Because these right here, these are all the answers that you just got in the puzzle we just did, right? Levity, Levy, right? Amity, Amy. But I want to point something out. If you take the first letters of these, you get L-A-S-V-E-G-A-S, and that spells-- What the frigging heck? Yeah, what does it spell? It spells Las Vegas. It does spell Las Vegas. You devil. You subterranean monster. Yes, I agree. Keep going. You creature of the dark. You creature of the darkness. Keep going. What is-- what is even-- what? How is that-- that's-- Well, yes, this is my puzzle. Happy solving is what I like to say. See, this is what I mean. See, sometimes you see a magic trick, and you go, wow, that's amazing. I don't know how he did it. And then sometimes you see a magic trick, and you're like, let's get a priest in here. Thank you to David. Check out "The Puzzle Room" with David Kwong on Netflix, and we'll be right back. There's more of "Love It or Leave It" coming up. "Love It or Leave It" is brought to you by Thrive Market. Cozy season is calling, but the weekly grocery trip remains as stressful as ever. Skip crowded parking lots and busy aisles of those other healthy markets and big box retailers. Thrive Market delivers all your grocery essentials straight to your door. At only $5 a month, the membership unlocks thousands of curated organic and non-GMO products, 90-plus dietary filters, weekly sales, and free gifts. With over 1,000 restricted ingredients, you get total peace of mind for one simple annual fee. Plus, Thrive Market is a great place to load up on healthier Halloween swaps and cozy autumn staples. Thrive Market has great candy options. You can get the organic lollipops from Yum Earth. You get a 50-pack of organic assorted candies. There's the Lesser Evil, spooky popcorn packs, and Unreal Brands has an assortment of chocolate bars and cups. Thrive Market is the first online-only grocer to accept Snap EBT online. Every membership sponsors one for a low-income family. Plus, your purchases this month support the Thrive Market Save the Children Partnership, funding the Learning Without Limits initiative for kids in high-need rural communities. Get $30 off your first two orders with our link, thrivemarket.com/loveit. Get stocked before Halloween and save $30 off your first two orders. That offsets the cost of an annual membership. Sign up now at thrivemarket.com/loveit. Long Play, our docu-series exploring the people and forces shaping the South, is back. Democrats are way on their heels in this region, but Republicans are going through their own reckoning in the South, too. We're in the final stretch of this week. We're in the final stretch of the midterms, and the political map has only gotten more competitive with new states and districts emerging as potential flips, so we thought it was time to get back out on the road and take a closer look at what's actually happening on the ground. I'm Erin Haines, journalist and expert on all things Southern politics. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. All right. Let's keep that energy going as we change gears. It's time for the rant wheel. Here is how it works. We'll each get 60 seconds on the clock to rant about a topic of our choosing. We'll spin the wheel, and when it lands on you, baby, let her rip. Are you both ready? Let's go. All right. First up, let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Punky. You have 60 seconds. What would you like to rant about? The world. Let's just rant about that. Okay? I've been thinking about this because I've been thinking about it for a long time. I've been thinking about it for a long time. I've been thinking about this because people are always asking me about politics. I don't like to talk about politics. I like to keep myself out of it, but I do have a lot to say sometimes. I think that us as a country, we need to go on a weekend. We need to take a weekend off and just do some goddamn inventory and just see who is left. I'm sick of this right shit, and I'm sick of this left shit because no one's listening to each other, and no one's going to change their opinion, so we're just talking to brick fricking walls. When people ask me for my opinion, I'm like, "I don't care. I'm about the right or the left. I just want my grocery bill to be back within budget, so whoever can do that is who I'm for. I just want the gas prices to go down, and I just want to drink my water, mind my business, and for God's sake, please let the Saints go to the playoffs without the person that I love, a celebrity who I love to death, have a fricking documentary coming out to upset me because I thought that was a great person, if that makes sense. Is that a sports thing? Well, I don't know. what documentary just people some people that I like they now have documentaries out and I'm just like I liked you oh I see I liked you so many better to know less yes let's spin it again sorry no nothing to apologize for could it end on her again no we have our own tricks here David it's your turn is the counter oh there it is we gotta talk about leaf blowers okay yeah is that a common one I was wondering Danny DeVito once did it oh Danny DeVito so you're in good company they suck go for it apparently they're illegal in Los Angeles but it's a scourge and everybody uses them anyway they're the loudest thing ever I'm very sound sensitive and they just blow a bunch of crap around and don't really do anything I also I'm the guy that's like oh I have two questions also I flew to Las Vegas just last week from Burbank our sweet little Burbank airport is no longer it has been taken it has been remodeled you can no longer just roll up 10 minutes before the flight and get in there I feel like that is a good metaphor for our our lack of innocence our innocence is gone here in Los Angeles oh you've been to the new I haven't been to the new Burbank they've really but it's it took longer than the previous time you gotta drive all the way around and yeah and then security and the thing and it's our sweet little Burbank airport is gone and leaf blowers wow thanks I think you're right about both I think you're right about both let's spin it again it has landed on me I would like to talk about the problem of other minds okay so I saw you can see everything the new Nathan Fielder movie it's incredible it's about Elizabeth Holmes and at root you wonder if like she's so strange her world view is so unusual and she's been so traumatized by the legal challenges she's faced that perhaps it's not it's possible to believe that she really doesn't know whether or not she lied right like that's a question the movie seems to ask the answer is she obviously lied she has to have known she lied maybe she's in denial about that now but it wasn't kind of one off series of misunderstandings it was a a giant and long running fraud but what's interesting in the movie is the question of whether or not she knows but I think in a lot of ways that's a question of asking is she conscious right is she conscious of what she did which is a question we're often asking about AI like is it conscious does it know that it knows and I don't think it matters and I think we should spend less time worrying about that question and more time worrying about what the actual consequences of it are in the same way that it doesn't matter whether Elizabeth Holmes now knows she wasn't telling the truth to the investors and the patients that she defrauded that's all I wanted to say about that incredible movie though an incredible film have you seen it have you seen Digger we'll be right back and we're back this night has been magical but we've got one more ace up our sleeves it's time to end the evening with some second thoughts David Punky my producers have written down everything they think I did wrong during this show tonight I'm going to read them to you and you'll decide if I should regret these acts or not and if you have any regrets this would be the time to share it this is the moment in the show where we reflect on ourselves how about that Punky self-reflection that's right wow let's see what they've got one potential regret is in the monologue I argued that the trans community should try to drive up gas prices and that if you follow the argument to its logical conclusion the best step that the trans community can take to improve its conditions in America is to bomb Russian oil refineries I don't know I don't regret it though I'm also sorry that I spent so many times I played that Trump sound where you go I played it three or four times and that probably is too much and then the writers do want to know why did I change Normandy to Pointe du Hoc why did I do that and you know why I'll tell you why I'm going to answer your question because Reagan gave an incredible speech about the boys of Pointe du Hoc the men who took the cliffs and Trump is talking about being a man in that speech and in that in that incredible Reagan speech a great man a perfect president he has this incredible riff about those soldiers it was I believe written in part by Peggy Noonan about the men who took the cliffs and I always think about that that's why I changed it but no one laughed wow but no one laughed said Sarah from the back yep a little sass huh that's right oh Punky during our segment I suggested it was gross for you to cook shrimp in your dressing room me a man who famously eats food off the ground yeah you regret you should regret that yeah yeah and then it just says here boy I should go back to therapy yeah I agree you don't think so well also as a as a sub point it says because I equated substance abuse to being addicted to compliments you should go to a black therapist I would love to see that session that's a good I'm interested in that that is a wonderful session I'm interested in that she gonna talk to you like this now John one regret it says I said and this is a quote that felt a little Puerto Rican and maybe I shouldn't have said that maybe not maybe not I may deserve to regret that how does how does being Puerto Rican feels it was just that it was your energy it was because you had talked about it earlier and then the energy you brought to an action that you were doing a performance of a response from your girlfriend reminded me of what you had said earlier which is why I felt it was justified I don't think I should say this and then I said it famously if you say I don't think I should say something and then you say it you're protected that's a great trick in Dungeons and Dragons in life it's a little protection spell you can do to put a little shield around yourself ironic distance from your own words let's see sorry to all of my Puerto Rican people within moments of you coming on stage David I complained about my edit on your show damn but I was happy with it I wish I brought a smaller pad of paper oh you think it was too big? that was too big no it was great it added some drama to it and I did say to you as my guest quote your poor parents and I called you a devil and creature of darkness I took that as a compliment are you a materialist? materialist yeah do you believe in the material world explains everything about the world? yes okay magicians are the great skeptics we don't believe in any of the spiritualism we know how all the tricks work interesting can I add one? yeah I think you regret that you almost said Elizabeth Warren instead of Elizabeth Holmes alright and I have only one regret this show must end that's our show thank you so much to Punky Johnson and David Kwong there are 11 days until the midterms go to vote save America and sign up we'll be back next week with Ron Perlman and with more special guests love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante and me John Lovett our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks Raul Calderon, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroote and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East long play our docuseries exploring the people and forces shaping the south is back newsflash the south is the new political epicenter of the country democrats are way on their heels in this region but republicans are going through their own reckoning in the south too we're in the final stretch of the midterms and the political map has only gotten more competitive with new states and districts emerging as potential flips so we thought it was time to get back out on the road and take a closer look at what's actually happening on the ground I'm Erin Haynes, journalist and expert on all things southern politics and I'm Jennifer Palmieri, former White House communications director tune in on Mondays to Long Play series on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts