Trump as Jesus is WILD, Melania Revives Epstein, + Bieber Saves Coachella | #700

what's up everybody welcome to flagrant boy schultzy here alex media markie gags miles on the ones and twos joey over there trying to figure out the computer nice um one day joey yeah one day you got that shit man guys guys big tings happening in the world big tings happen in the world man um trump trump and the catholic church going after yeah bro this is this is kind of wild they're going at it how do you feel as a catholic bro that's this is where you gotta ride for your boy and who's i mean yeah which so leonardo's coming at trump for quick question quick question is the pope the leader of all of y'all like is he both of your daddies or just his daddy mostly my daddy he's really all of us like did you choose up with iran are you are you already on their side not like religious people i'm just you're christian agnostic no but were you baptized yeah okay right now it's not by choice it don't matter if it's by choice you ain't got it to be whoa you ain't married yeah i was 13 and then church that's consensual right no no baptized at 13 no that was the other one that's communion you are way more catholic than maybe even now mark is more catholic but you're more catholic than me i have puerto rican i had to go i had to go through she still thinks i'm going to hell right now you are i didn't do the final one what's the one after confirmation i didn't do that one you gotta get you gotta hit the compromise yeah see i'm not full what are you waiting for bro what are you waiting for fake i'm orthodox you're not even you're not even dead he left orthodox bro yeah he left orthodox yeah oh you down with gay gay no i'm harlem bro i'm harlem shout out to renaissance church man love y'all corvinus gave an amazing fucking sermon i even felt guilty saying fucking before that one but he tried again but yeah shout out to shout out to corvus and renaissance does he pull up in the dior and the bentley and shit like it's in a public school this is this is well after schultz goes a couple times all of a sudden yeah i'm not gonna have any seats if we keep talking about how amazing these church services look at you funny if you don't tip enough bro i'll be honest with you tip same i'm in there you're being real disrespectful right i hope there's hell no no i can't do that no i can't wow i cannot that's what this sermon was about it was don't wish bad on people exactly for people demise you're on your trump shit right now i'm trying to hope you find god you gotta do it more clever you're gonna be like i hope you learn a good lesson i hope you do learn a good lesson i hope i hope you get close to god i hope god i hope you marry your girl so the both of you stop sinning you could just marry her and then both of you won't be sinning you're living in sin you are living in sin but i don't i don't practice y'all shit so i'm not saying what is y'all shit y'all shit are you a good person yes then you're part of us wow do you think human beings were good before you say muslims aren't good people they came after and get the order right all right so if they was late i'm probably muslim good point good point but muslims also love jesus so there you go that's what i'm saying they love jesus they love jesus they love jesus they love jesus they gotta love them oh okay they love them now if you convert to them they'll kill you but they love it is awesome kind of like how much do you love them it's almost like loving like you're a stepfather or some shit yeah you know it's like no you can't worship them yeah don't worship them but yeah respect them yeah some respect exactly so yeah yeah team leo yeah talk some shit about islam now you know let's see how agnostic you are yeah yeah talk some mom donnie's what'd you say i'm giving it up to my people i'm trying to get free groceries okay back to the trump pope thing so basically why is he beefing with the pope the pope was i mean it kind of goes back even farther than pope leo but before pope leo well because trump and francis were going out a little bit they were they were like kind of chirping at each other but francis was uh is the catholic church like is there a little them like yo you're not gonna be the most prolific pedophile protector it's us not taking that from us no is there a little bit of like wow that's correct no yeah is there a little bit we move on from that no no that's we don't do that you don't do that who won like who's the better protector pedophile okay so no like who's better look the church the church had some issues okay but what does that mean exactly what does that mean you sound a real fc father at least the church moved them around try to just like yo stay wherever you are you good you know come upon being part of my administration keep running the world yeah introduce me to my new wife allegedly church got us some shenanigans okay but this is not about the institution okay this is about leo and trump all right yeah yeah and so basically leo was going against trump being like you're not gonna be able to do this you're not gonna be able to do this you're not gonna be Like, yo, this whole war is, you guys are, you're getting crazy with this war and all. Fire. We like this. And he's got out Leo. He was also like, you're going a little crazy with the immigration. We love this. Because who are the best Catholics? Mexicans are up there. Africans. Africans are good. Yo. Which, shout out to them. Put some respect on African Catholics, bro. A lot of people don't know. Biggest growing group of Catholics right now. Yeah. Step it up. Nigeria, right? They got home. Yo, stop acting like you know fucking anything. I know. I'm tired. Son, I'm team Leo. PL, throw it out. It's one time, son. Come on, son. How'd you do that so fast? It's pro-Leo in a building. What the fuck? Oh, the L is backwards, but I'm like. Nah, I'm not right. Let's go, let's go. Throw it out one time, bro. That's crazy. Both Leos like him young, man. Okay, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I'm not putting that. I'm not putting that on Leo. That's the fucking time I'm putting that on Leo. I'm not putting it on Leo, man. Can't do that to the channel, bro. He's a man of God. Never once happened at Renaissance Church up in Harlem. I'm just saying, never once. No accusations. Why do you even put that out there, bro? You put it on to a service? Can you come to a service? I'm just saying. So Leo's going to Trump basically and being like, he says some crazy shit. I don't even know exactly what it was, but he gave a speech, maybe a sermon, I don't know, but he says, God does not hear the prayers of those that wage war. I take exception to that. I think he hears them. He comes up. I think he comes up on the ticker. I don't know if he's clicking the link. But to say he doesn't even hear them is a little bit peculiar, right? Doesn't God hear the prayers of everyone? Yeah. Yeah, he hears. And then also you look at the Bible and you're like, oh, there's some wars he heard about. I'll hear you out. I'll hear you out. But that was the old, that was Old Testament. We moved on. We moved on. Y'all got a lot of old shit. It's Old Testament, bro. It's old. Forgiveness. Yeah, it's old. Why are you bringing up old shit? Anyway, we're talking about New Testament, all right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of it old? Isn't it a whole belief system of old? It is. It's ancient. It's actually the oldest church. Holy Catholic Apostolic Church. Don't, don't, don't. Don't even. He just threw up the set right there. Hey, Orthodox gang, can you come for my boy? Because he's trying to replace y'all. I hate how they try to erase you from history. Orthodox gang, come for me. You just said you switched up. That's on Orthodox. The churches ain't close to me. Watch this, watch this, watch this. When did you celebrate Easter? I celebrated the Orthodox. No, you didn't. I didn't. I didn't celebrate Orthodox Easter. I did. I was out east. I saw the bunny rabbits. I was out east. I was out east with the bunny rabbits. Two weeks ago. You're a little fugazi shit. For Catholic Easter. You're fugazi shit. But Easter this past weekend, I didn't see you anywhere. Where was I this past weekend? You read that Renaissance first. Was I at church this past weekend? What is the Renaissance known for? Ha! Ha! Don't bite me. Okay? Jeez. Okay? Okay? I think that's HR right there. Fuck yeah. I think that was HR. You're trying to say I wasn't at church on real Easter? You're pulling a shirtless pick at me like that. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Okay, look. Was I not at church on real Easter? Technically, you did go. Thank you. But I think you- You hang out with your bunny rabbits. You hang out with your bunny rabbits on your Easter. I'll go to real Easter. Okay, back to the point. Yes. Trump basically puts out a thing. He says- He is risen. Leo's weak on crime. He's terrible for foreign policy. He talks about fear of Trump, but he wasn't afraid when the Catholic Church had all these people arrested during COVID. I like his brother, Louie, much better. That's so corny. That's crazy. He goes, Louie. Louie's fired. Louie's maggot. He gets it. Leo doesn't. He thinks it's okay for Iran to have a nuclear weapon. I don't want a pope that thinks, you know, all this stuff. He basically goes on to say, like, I hate Leo. And he thinks that Leo's a lib. The balls. And then- So how do the Catholics feel about it? I mean, Christians in general, specifically with the Leo stuff, Catholics are obviously like, yo, this is crazy out of line. You can't be going to the pope like this. Because they like Leo? Do they appreciate Leo? Do they think he's- Sometimes there's- Yeah. Sometimes there's- There's some, you know, like, who was it that they thought wasn't- Who was the last one, the guy from Argentina? Francis. Francis. That's right. They didn't think Francis was maybe conservative enough for the church. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Leo, I think the fact that he's American. He's from Chi-town. Chi-town. Is he even coming out to vote? I saw somewhere that they said that the people fucked up the vote to put an American in there that was a liberal. Yo, just start from the beginning. Yeah. I'm trying to find it. I'm trying to read the tweet at the same time. Yeah, start from the beginning, take a deep breath, and then get your snap ready. Mm-hmm. Yo, I'm team. okay so what happened i'll find it trump said basically in this that leo only became pope because they wanted an american to go against trump that's what i just said all right see that's what i just said you see all right i'm out here speaking for a black man but it's all good why do the catholic catholic church the catholic church is the world thank you they're not worried about just america the catholic church is the world right true you think that you're gonna elect an american pope i mean they did but they didn't do it to thwart trump they're not even thinking about trump when they're in that little little that little room with the smoke coming out yeah with the yeah with the haze yeah what is it called again i actually don't know the i mean the vatican i don't know the exact room that they're in oh 1.4 bill i mean look at that numbers going 1.4 billion people come on dude so yeah they put him in charge 17.8 of the global population that that's the global population including china line the highest growth rates recorded in africa let's go yo shout out african catholics man the realist come on man yeah so then trump goes you know what i've had enough of this i'm post i'm dropping the pic and he posted this picture of him as a doctor bro as a doctor he's a doctor why would anybody think he's not a doctor doesn't your doctor look like that yeah when you go get your knee check doesn't your doctor come in with a fucking plate full of baba ganoush to get stuck rubbing your fucking achilles isn't that what your doctor looks like i expect my doctor to be dressed like this based on his ethnicity most of the time but uh i mean it's hilarious that trump's like i'm not jesus come on i'm obviously a doctor and the red cross i love the red cross that's his defense of this what's the what's the iron man shit in his hand oh that that's the light oh who oh yeah does the doctor bring that to you yeah of course nah that's the shit to you know make sure your pupils is you know but he took it down he didn't he didn't take down the he didn't take down the uh obama yeah i know the obama monkey thing yep he didn't no wow wow i know now this is what he says in response so there you go so why did you post a picture of uh you as jesus and this is what he says i did post it and i thought it was me as a doctor and had to do with red cross as a red cross worker there which we support and uh only the fake news could come up with that one so i had only i had uh i just heard about it and i said how did they come up with that it's supposed to be me as a doctor oh making people better and i do make people better i make people a lot better as an example uh the 11 000 i understand your husband's going through treatment yes sir yes sir he's going through some very uh serious cancer treatment so yes this goes a long way it sounds like me trying to get my point out before now keep in mind the woman the woman that he's talking to right there is a door dash delivery woman she's a grandma that got to work door dash delivering burger king to the white house oh my god white house which also there's a little fugazi with that for the tell me well people pointed out that that woman yep sharon simmons i believe is her name oh she i don't i don't know if she is or isn't working for door dash but she is a trump supporter from nevada okay and she was over there and like spoke at one of his things and like talked i don't know exactly what the context was but she was in connection with trump in some capacity as like a supporter and then goes to dc to deliver him mcdonald's so people are like oh well this is obviously uh you obviously like brought her over for this pr thing but why would you bring a grandma that needs to work door dash because they're talking about taxation on tips yeah but like pause it for a second isn't people don't we want to live in a where grandmas get to be retired like what like what kind of delusional reality are we living in where he's parading around the grandma that's working door dash so she can afford to pay her husband's cancer bills and he's like see we're not doing tips like there's a whole other issue at hand that we need to be focused on yeah no yeah that's funny like when you see like the the grandpa whatever who's the greeter at walmart like and i understand no that's actually a good job for the old people that i want to match you down with getting out the house and not just sitting around watching tv all day waving and connecting with people i do that adds years to his life yes also you're joking but i think it does i'm being deadly serious keep him in a house all day no i agree let people steal from walmart that's what their job should be yo son you ever go to like the car rest stops and then like the food court they have like rereads handing out popcorn and you know what you know what al that shit al we were just doing something that was good and positive yeah we were doing something positive and then i feel good about that it's like yo they're getting out the house they're doing something yeah that is nice but david they take are they taking a couple bites out your popcorn now are they getting in there come on bro al that was you that was you just we're feeling good you need to get confirmed bro you need to get confirmed and give your life to you need to get confirmed it's hard and that's what you need to get confirmed you just spell confirmation you just feel a confirmation i'm gonna be giving her popcorn in a couple years bro i'm funny mike sure this joke he's like i was going through the checkout line at the grocery store and the bag boy uh was standing there and the cashier was like do you want to donate a dollar for kids with down syndrome and the bag boy had down syndrome and he was like so we just gave the bag boy a dollar he was like here you go that's good yeah that's great the middle man out guys we're back on the road we're hitting it here are the dates uh uh tampa we're gonna be there next weekend sold out we appreciate you i'll let you know if we're gonna add any shows there denver may 1st and 2nd sold out we appreciate it i will let you know if we're gonna add more dates very possible to add a show in each city uh depending on how long it's all lake also sold out but also possible to add something there and uh halifax nova scotia the great outdoors fest that's going to be a wild one cam patterson coming lucas zelnick coming mark gagnon coming all right uh we'll be adding some more uh shows so make sure you uh check either my instagram or theandrewshulls.com mark what you got yes first april 23rd providence rhode island comedy connection and then april 28th we're doing the show at mary lou in new york city if you want to come by and see a showcase with me joey avery and a bunch of good comics in new york maybe the best comics arguably and then at the end of the year i'm hitting a bunch of spots i'm going to mic drop in plano texas chandler arizona the ice house in pasadena and san diego and detroit in the you know winter time i can't propel fitness water with gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you propel with gatorade electrolytes yeah this woman just walks up and is delivering mcdonald's which this is the other issue with immigration is that i've never seen a doordash person look like this yeah this is what happens dude when you round up too many uh too many migrants all of a sudden you got white grandmas doing doordash yeah i mean but that's what they want because they say the migrants is taking all the jobs exactly get to work nanny get in there i mean and he pulls up oh thanks so much is he sponsored by mcdonald's it has to be yeah right yeah also you don't need to label the oval office yeah the sign outside's crazy did you see the sign outside it's not a bathroom like we know what the fuck no it says it like right it's in gold cursive office no it's annoying office come on you know trump they got it everything's big it's gold everything one room that's an oval also you know how doordash goes it's annoying when they're at the wrong door you gotta call and be like no come here we gotta believe they let this grandma on to the fucking premises of the white house and she's just going door to door yeah you gotta tell them exactly which door you gotta label it actually it's not smart that's a good move i mean wild i also i wonder if he likes mcdonald's because his name's kind of in it without him even realizing it she's like there's just something about it yeah yeah once he starts liking burger king that's good that's good apparently he loves wendy's now don't do it don't do it you're not gonna catch me you're not gonna catch me but people have pointed out this you're not gonna catch me my boy you're talking about whatever it ain't gonna happen white castle all-time great flip oh my you're the best people have pointed out this picture they go who's he healing like as a doctor what what what person is he fixing here but i saw john man yeah that shit looked very much like him john stewart does like a 30 second john stewart some people were like is he healing epstein maybe a little bit oh you know who that guy looks like back there with the white beard the guy who cooks food for everybody he's a restaurateur chef and then he has like a feed the world or something this project jose something or other oh god start over take a break no jose uh what's his name andres oh oh wow no you dialed yeah that was that was i might be right yeah you put a jose on there you know but jose is he's a this is i mean obviously he probably has controversy and i'm gonna compliment this guy sometimes things will be good but nah this guy is like that dude he's just walking around to war-torn places and developing these like food kitchens so he could feed all these hungry people it's like really amazing that's sick yeah that's awesome no there's nothing wrong with this guy yeah he's a good guy now okay who's the girl right there i don't know who's that who's that little girl oh who's that that little nurse at the bottom hey trump might be a doctor he's on melania down there with the stethoscope and the tilted head she's already on her knees yo ow ow come on bro ow god it's an ai picture it's actually funny like no matter what i'll say it's just like come on we're trying to be positive and then the craziest part if you scroll up cavill out there in the infantry outfit nice jawline beautiful jawline how you get a jaw oh you gotta do you have to you gotta smash bone what is me what you gotta smash bone what you gotta you gotta smash and bone you ain't smashing bone bro yeah you just launched a booger all over my face right you gotta smash and bone you ain't smashing bone bro you just launched a booger all over my face is there a booger all over my face get a little bit get closer that's wild get close don't even find me a napkin because this is going right on my palm no come on i'll use the left hand in case we need to dap up throughout the pod but that was more than i thought it was that was more than i thought it was probably still in that mustache let's keep going what is even who's that ball is that ball well so the thing is so this picture was originally posted ball ball yeah ball balls in your mouth no so this is the thing is so this picture was originally posted ball ball yeah ball balls in your mouth no so this This was posted. Got it! I think that was a ruse that you started 3,000 years ago. Like, one way we want to get the entire world. This link was promised to us. So this picture was originally posted in February by this guy. I forget what his name is, but he's close to Trump. And so he posted the picture. And if you look at the picture on the left, that's the OG that he posted. And it looks like there's kind of angels. You know, kind of regular. Yeah, it looks like fallen soldiers. No, it's cavalry angels, bro. It's angels ready for war, wearing the whole armor of God. If they're angels, they're dead. Nah, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Angels aren't dead? No, they exist in the spirit world. You agnostic motherfucker. Just sit there and pay attention as the Catholic explains shit to you. Fuck out of here. So they edited the image to put ball up in there? So for some reason, it hasn't been disclosed. They switch it up where they put, like, an angel with horns? Oh! And people are like, is that the Antichrist? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, that's. Why are you doing it? Oh! So it's a little. It looks like Megatron a little. It looks like a Transformer. Yeah. But I don't get why. And there hasn't been really an explanation for what's going on with that. So what's up? What's going on over there, bro? What the fuck is going on over there? But he deleted it, huh? He walked that shit back. Pussy. Yeah, that is soft. Because the Christians were not happy. This pissed off all the Christians. Pissed off the Muslims, obviously, the Issa bin Mariam. You know? Peace be upon him. And he's imitating a Jewish guy. Wait, wait, wait. What did you do there? That's the name of the prophet Jesus Christ in Islam. Is. Is what? Issa bin Mariam. Issa bin Mariam? Yes. That's his name. Well, why wouldn't they just call him Jesus? Because they call him Suleyman, Musa. They switch it up. You know what I mean? That's disrespectful. They switch it up for Arabic. Disrespectful. They swing it to the Arabic. We don't swing it to nothing. A name is a name. A name is a name. It's Jesus. God. God. Jehovah. It's Jesus. Well, it might not even be Jesus. It might be Yeshua. Yeah. Nope. Nope. We're not doing that translation shit. Well, that's too hard to say. We're not doing the Arabic. Fine. I'm going to call Gigi Ping whatever I want. You do already? Mark, don't tell people that. Mark, don't tell people. We're not doing them. So, oh, wait. What is this? Time person of the year for 2026? Now, the time person of the year isn't necessarily a good thing. Not always, because there's been some- Hitler one time person of the year. Yeah, Hitty. Really? Yeah, Hitty got the cover piece. So, it's just like who gets the most attention in a year? Yeah. I think it's like the most significant or influential person that year. Bad or good. Yeah. But, yeah, they threw Hitty up there. Hmm. Centerfold. And who was number two? Zoe? Yeah, Big Z. Big Z. Big Zoe. And he's going up. Pope now. Oh, we're the Pope. Pope Leo really only got it from beef, if you think about it. Like, if you're not mentioning- Trump's name, nobody's really talking about Pope Leo. If we're being honest. Outside of that, what is he doing? I mean, he's leading the world to Christ. That's good. Yes, of course. But I like him leaning in a little bit more. Put a little pressure on Trump's ass. You want to get these wars stopped, put some pressure. You got 1.4 billion people on your back. Yeah. And he is. Oh, wow. I'm on the list, too. What? Al. That's cute. Come on, let me get one. That was cute. That was cute. Bad. Bad bunny. It goes, Trump, Zoramumdani, Pope Leo, bad bunny. And somehow he is up 12%. Who's that? Reed Wiseman? Who's that? I've never even heard that name. Anyway. But yeah, that's basically the Trump battling all the Christians. He's an astronaut. Oh, shout out to him. Oh, yeah. Wow. He's going to be up there? Not the- Where's the black guy? Yup. Talk it. Come on. Low key, it should be Epstein, bro. It's fucking Jackie Robinson up there. Well, Epstein's dead. Can you win it if you're dead? Posthumously? Yes. Can you win it posthumously? I don't know. Probably not. Wait. Hitler won it when he was still alive? Yeah. 1938. Tom was out at that time? I didn't know Tom was that old. That's also funny that you're like, after he's died, Tom's like, now we got to give it up. Yeah. You only- We only love rappers when- We only love rappers when they die, bro. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? Oh, no. Shit. Oh, no. We just found out about time. That's hilarious. All right, man. So, yeah, that's that. All right. So, was Melania trafficked or what? Like, can we just- That's- Okay. This is wild. This is all a legend. What's the conspiracy? What's the alleged? Don't sue us. Can we just say there's an ongoing lawsuit about this exact topic right now? Yeah. And I don't feel like being in a lawsuit. Can you just tell me what the toll was for Melania's Strayed of Ormuz? Can you just tell me what the fee was back in the day? Allegedly. Just as alleged. This is- With all due respect. Is it? Is it? This is with all due respect. I don't want to get arrested, dude. I'm just going to say this. There might be somebody that has been on this podcast for a long time that's not white nor Indian that has been saying this exact thing. Yo, why are you trying to get me killed? Yo, I love my life. I'm not suicidal, but I heard some things about Melania. Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that you heard a rumor that an incredibly attractive Eastern Europe- European might have been an escort back in the day? Whoa, whoa. I'm going to just say she had another job. I don't know what that job was. You said that. She might have been doing DoorDash. I don't know. Whoa, that's crazy. That's Andrew Schultz. I mean, if we're just going to be honest about that part of the world, chances are- A lot of Orthodox over there. A lot of Orthodox. That's where the Orthodox church is. The Orthodox church is really thriving right now, if we're being honest. And what else about them? You were saying? Unfortunately, circumstances have led to a lot of them seeking sex work. Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly, I heard a rumor that she was selling pussy back in the day. Whoa. Ow. That would obviously be absurd. Yeah, that would be crazy absurd. Yeah. But like, allegedly. But when Julia Roberts does it in that movie, it's like romantic and funny. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah. It is a double. It's a double standard. It's a beautiful woman. Pretty. Shining personality. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So she comes out, apparently, without Trump knowing. That's the wild thing. She does a press conference, and apparently Trump's doing an interview with MS Now or something, and they're like, yeah, so Melania said some stuff about Epstein, and he's like, huh? Get out of here. That's what I heard. I didn't confirm that, but that's what I heard. Get out of here. Which is hilarious. They're starting to look like each other, man. Don't. They're starting to look like each other. I don't know if that's a knock on her or a pick up on his. You trying to say Trump is cute, nigga? Nah. What you trying to say? I like how you had to throw that in with it. Yeah, because it was too much. It was too much. It was too much. You need to add a little masculinity to it. So she comes out of nowhere and basically just, I mean, we can watch a little bit of it if you want. You don't think they look a little like? Nah. Come on. She's holding up. No, she's absolutely beautiful, but if you put Trump in a wind tunnel, he just has like his skin stretched. The light bulb? The light bulb? The light bulb? Yeah. All right. Hold on. Play just a little bit just so you can get the vibe. Remember, this is someone's mom, man. Look at her. The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today. See? All accents are funny. Individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards. Ethical standards. Humility. Humility. And respect. Respect. I do not object to their ignorance. Rather, I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation. All right, pause. She's talking about you, Al. She's talking about the people that are besmirching her name. She's talking about Shost. I said she had another job. I never said anything. I said that there was a guy on this podcast that is not white or Indian that had claimed that she might have done some things in the past and that you heard that. Why are you snitching on Joey's Puerto Rican ass? It could have been Joey. I don't know. But Joey. Yeah, Joey's there. Somebody had said that there are rumors about this. Now, the thing about this that's interesting is that it comes out of basically nowhere. right like you you have people saying like oh trump's doing the war in iran to cover from the epstein files which i don't think that's wholly true i think that's a byproduct but then the second like there's a ceasefire melania comes out she's like i'm not i don't know epstein well because there was a leaked what was it there was a leak report to the daily caller or something like that did you guys see this that's what she's reacting well that's what the suspicion is she's getting ahead of a story so the story dropped already before she did this uh press conference what story specifically yeah i think it was the daily caller did what joey's gonna bring it up right now but it's funny when she did this shit i was like you probably too young for this but the early days of social media you would always know when a couple's beefing when a girl just starts posting some quote like oh like oh i'm too strong to deal with this guy got me or some shit like that you know she's arguing with her man and she's like that worse you don't deserve me my best exactly and i thought that was the version they must be beefing right now she's like oh word i'm gonna just put some heat back on this epstein shit motherfucker that's what i thought initially but then i started hearing about the amanda chick yeah that's it that's a part of the ripple that i think is the most interesting okay well what's the amanda chick so can you look at like some leaked story there's a completely untrue allegation that i think is extremely absurd from michael wolf michael wolf is the guy who wrote the book about and he alleged based off his own sources again i don't know this is an ongoing lawsuit that it's possible that epstein was the one that connected them on the private jet you may have heard that theory that's where that's more or less where it comes from and that he was the connecting piece and there's a guy that's connected to trump that's like was appointed by into some special office in 2020 he stayed under biden and then he gets appointed again uh in this new administration he is this guy paulo zampoli okay he's friends with epstein from back in the day okay he denies any type of wrongdoing with epstein and was unaware of any of his crimes of course okay he's friends with epstein from back in the day okay he denies any type of wrongdoing with and he gets married to a woman and her name is i can you pull up her name he used to run a modeling agency yes he ran a modeling agency and he is married to a woman they divorce and then there's a woman who's 16 years old her name's like amanda aguaro i think she's argentinian or something she is 16 years old flies on epstein's lolita express to america for modeling and then when she's of age she marries paulo zampoli her agent was john luke bernot whatever it is and she's married to a woman john luke bernot the guy who the french dude yep yes who was connected with epstein was given procuring all the models and who uh famously committed suicide yes yes yes in france yes and they have a kid and then they divorce paulo zampoli and his ex-wife now are like and estranged he calls ice on her to get her deported back to i think she maybe she's brazilian i can't remember if you can find out exactly yeah she's brazilian she was running um an illegal botox clinic and then uh a tip came in that this clinic was happening so they locked her up then uh ice came in put her in a detention center for three months and they're trying to work to deport her right now no she's deported she's fully divorced she's back but you gotta you gotta put someone in in prison for that shit what do you mean put in botox put in botox in women illegally i didn't even know that that part yeah i don't know that's what her business was and that's what they snitched on that oh we're supposed to feel bad for this woman she's putting botox fucking miami that's like a fucking starbucks yeah yeah we need to see how good the botox was before i need to see some of the work but this guy paulo allegedly calls ice on his own ex-wife yeah to get her deported back to brazil they have a kid all right let's just open that up let's have a discussion about okay okay i feel like you're picking i just want to have a discussion about it al you're in a situation where you could use that as a leverage point at any point in time i would never i know you would never let me wake up upset one day i'm just saying you wouldn't do it would you would you like would you throw it out there would you know that no never you would never even an argument you're like man no because i learned from a friend in a previous situation that's a crime what happened you can't threaten to go ice on somebody illegal it's like a crime that did that happen yeah it's a crime do i know that person tell you later really yeah it's a threat it's a crime to threaten justice it's nuts yeah but then somehow that girl used this situation to be able to stay longer even though she was had overstayed but now she's in like a criminal lawsuit so she was just able to stay longer crazy so now you can't do that that guy don't that's why he didn't threaten her he just snitched on him he just snitched yeah oh you don't threaten you don't threaten you don't brandish yeah because then it's like extortion i guess exactly like if you don't do this for me then i'm gonna ruin your life yes yes yes that makes sense i like that you shouldn't be able to do that you should never do that to your fiance and no human is illegal according to pope leo and i stand with him so i agree on that one child leo i agree no humans if you dad throw it up it's not illegal to be a human it's not illegal to be almost yet you know how do you do that so fast there's something genetically you guys do you think there's like a blood that does speak sign language like is there a deaf blood of cripple who's imagine that's how it started it's gotta be one right it's like what are we calling each other i'm gonna kill you but there's gotta be one right there's gotta be one out there that's so funny he's the best at it oh yeah and he keeps the best secrets you could do any crime with him they'd be like snitch you'd be like how you whisper we don't sign language oh yeah is it like do you make it little like how you caps lock it like what is it like i need to know emotion behind american sign language you kind of like how you kind of you tuck it behind the back a little just throw it away real quick like i mean imagine the yes i'm the deaf blood gets arrested yeah and you just can't talk you just tied up just hands behind exactly like tell us what happened you put mittens on them yeah you put minutes on and they tried to give him the Miranda rights he's like i can't i'm not talking about that's wild that's where no snitching came from oh see how do you even arrest a deaf guy on a stitch speaking of i want you to exhale all your air all your air exhale all your air and then i want you to exhale all the air and then i want you to try to scream exhale every bit of air and then try to scream as loud as you possibly can why did you scream try to scream and then scream i just tried no scream to save your life imagine your your your fiance is getting deported scream is saving yeah you're telling her which part is all right one more time go no what what the fuck is this yeah you do it it's if okay what they basically say is is if you have more like a masculine lungs that you can breathe all the air out of your body and you can still scream if you have more feminized lungs sometimes people have from hookah or smoking cigarettes sucking cocks a lot in your life you got bitched out of it bitch tits you should be able to do this on top of it so i'll give you one more chance no i'm not doing this you do it there's something up right now easy easy you go you go i got it i got it i got it can you do it i got it what the fuck is this you ever seen a turtle you ever seen a turtle have sex you gotta stop watching tiktok i know i gotta you got it i gotta get off it that's what a turtle having sex sounds like it's a very specific reference but i can't believe they actually make that sound yeah can you pull up a turtle having sex immediately both the i need to get off tiktok yeah what the fuck i don't know what it is why do you make the headphones look so hard guys this is american looks so hard right now you can have the headphones on or off bro yeah look this is america no this is legal no we need audio i'm sorry this is kind of a busy idea it's majorly an audio kind of you don't remember the scene from heat of robbery you don't remember this yeah so they're not pumping Can he just breathe? Yeah. He got a little vagina in his mouth. Stop, stop. Do you see that thing opening up? That's a trap. That is a trap. That's how they get you. But it might be worth it. No, no, no. It might be worth it. It's not worth it. Look at that little thing in there opening up. I do. Come here. Come here. All right, stop this immediately. We need that on the soundboard. I thought that was going to bomb, but that was amazing. Oh, man. You didn't know that a turtle got pussy-throated? Did you know that? I didn't know. I had no clue. I didn't know they were throated, dude. Oh, man. But anyway, so Melania. Remember those girls? Remember those girls, man? Okay, stop. back in the day i'm just saying way back in the day my nephew watches this can we stop so far yeah his nephews watching listen there's some girls out there that sound just like they got another mouth in their mouth man oh the back mouth i think that's where that alien thing came from remember that sigourney weaver alien movie where like the little mouth came out yeah there were dudes watching that like oh i've been i've been with one of them yep suck my soul suck it right out all right guys take a break for a second clear your mind clear your heart clear your soul you gotta talk about some stuff man you're going through something you're gonna get through it by sharing it getting it off your chest talking to professional keeping it inside ruminating it all day is guaranteed missus talk space is the number one rated online therapy bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime anywhere it's easy to get started you can 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you're gonna get 80 off your first month with talk space when you go to talkspace.com slash flagrant and enter the promo code space 80 that's s-p-a-c-e eight zero to match with a licensed therapist today go to talk space dot com slash flagrant and enter the promo code space 80 guys here's something worth thinking about the average employer has to sort through 250 resumes for a single job opening that's not a hiring process that's a part-time job and most of the time the right person is buried somewhere in that pile and that's exactly why zip recruiter exists if you're hiring they just rolled out a new feature that changes the game it surfaces the most interested and most qualified candidates at the top of your list so you're not wasting time digging and right now you can try it for free at zip recruiter.com slash flagrant their matching technology is genuinely impressive it doesn't just find people with the right credentials it identifies candidates who are actively engaged and serious 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a democrat or a conservative catholic he runs as a catholic yeah yeah catholic party because you get the evangelicals you get no i don't know if the jellies are gonna like it they'll come around christ is king christ is king wait pope's not their daddy no they in my opinion jesus is their daddy yeah jesus is your daddy too say it say it christ is king bro say it christ is king hey trey yeah anti-semite yo stop being so anti-semite yo that's crazy i can't say that that's crazy how dare you believe in your god i know you believe in your lord and savior bro christ is king yo oh my god why is that bad i'm not nah why is that bad fucking kanye over here like this guy is crazy what you just said you're bugging your lord and savior jesus christ you think is the king of kings yeah shit but why do you why do you hate the jews no no no no no that's why would you that's what i hear you so much by saying that no i hate the jews come on no but you just said that even your god yeah exactly christ is king oh my god come on i have a movie coming out what should i say as a captain they're gonna edit me out of street fighter come on dude they're gonna save the movie it's gonna be a box office it's gonna be easy edit my scene yo yo he said your wife is all man right now okay while he's taking shots okay it's mutually short destruction over here to you to you okay everybody's getting it can we focus on the issues at hand here tell us about amanda batula no no we're done with that oh amanda bonds yes yeah tell us about amanda bonds amanda bonds she's gonna make it a comeback is she yeah you haven't seen her no no she's coming she's swinging it back around all right swinging what no no can you focus on the issue though yeah i mean what's the issue well the issue to me seems that your level of anti-semites is about believing in your lord it's crazy look absurd levels everyone can worship who they want to worship but for me christ yo that's all it is that's all no he's king bro he's king he's king who's queen jews i don't know man five point star like he just thinks that quick you were chinese oh you know i got i got i got i got i got even his jacket turns into an israeli flag right now he's turning blue iran's propaganda is uh destroying us right now yo man and we need to stop this whoever's whoever's running iranian twitter you got it bro you got it listen can we hide him no no can i tell you what the real issue is if i have to be honest here is uh black people don't care about this war or don't want the war so our our twitter is not gas if you don't have black twitter it's not gas that's a good point simple as that that's a good point i see no i hear no lies i'm telling if you want if you want to win the twitter war yeah black people need to support it yeah because black twitter is gonna run it concerning twitter was funny when dems are in charge now that republicans are in charge it's just whiny it's it's too emotional when dems are in charge they had heat they had the memes it was fun but now it's just like too much it feels like too much propaganda they turned into the soy boy yes they did they went full soy boy but this iranian twitter bro yeah it's unbelievable and it's getting posted by the iran embassy i don't know if it's actually the iran embassy or their fake twitter accounts claiming to be because it would be like iran of zimbabwe yeah well this is embassy of south africa i don't know like if every embassy gets their own twitter and if that's sanctioned but it's they have the links and they got some followers so i'm inclined to be like should we call them up they got a number on there yeah give them a ring yo that would be fucking i think we might need to just call them up yeah yo who's running it yeah your phone let me call his ass what shot star six seven shot star six seven yeah how are they ever gonna know his name by star six seven yeah wait wait wait he got wormhole fucking palantir's about to send a drone over right now yep hold on hold on hold on the star six seven not work you know what all right so there was this thing back in the day back in the day to to the young people you don't understand if you didn't want someone to know who was calling you would dial star six seven before you call yep so essentially would like block your number because there was a thing called star six nine which if you missed a call it would tell you the last number that called you right i never knew that so if you want to make sure if you prank call in or doing something like that back in the day prank calls are very fun before you got caller id so you would hit star six seven and then call what was your best prank call uh well we'll get into that we'll get into that uh But now. i was trying to think of a prank call also once there was three-way calling it just got the three-way the trizzy was crazy i got fucking roped in a crazy trizzy a girl called me that thought was my friend she had this other girl on the line she gets me to start talking shit about the other girl the other girl starts chiming in you got set up and then you smacked it like the new ones no but star six seven they probably do have our numbers somewhere i'm saying like the same hubris that we operated with star six seven is like the the epstein files with emails and shit like like people thought you would never be able to get your email hacked yeah right like they thought there was not even a chance in the world they're like no i have a password nobody could ever obtain this information yeah that's probably everything in our lives if you can hear a dude's heartbeat did you hear they found like the dude and around the the american soldier based off his heartbeat they can hear your they have some technology where they can hear your heartbeat from space so they can detect a guy's heartbeat so they climb to a mountain where there's no other people around so it's just your heartbeat and then we can like we use some audio technology to remove all the other sounds and just detect that and then we'll go get you that's crazy yeah so they know we're gooning you see the fbi oh yeah every time you're doing it they got you they're clocking you 100 they got you especially whoop whoop stays listening to you beat off you don't think that there's a dude in india right now that's like assigned to you just i am either turtles trying to meet his steps for the day yeah cia cia cia used futuristic new tool tool called i can't read ghost murmur to find and rescue the second american airman who was shot down in southern iran why stop posting all of our cool stuff that is why they put it all out there that is a great but you gotta flex because it's gonna take them forever to try to repeat that but yeah but eventually they catch up what if we never told anyone about nukes what if we just kept it in the tuck we never told anyone we're like yeah we don't have them we got we got nothing everyone be like oh we're good you gotta show it you gotta show it wait hold on you think people have them yeah come on no one has nukes they do bro or they could have them they could believe in nukes get out of here what angle is this stupid do you do you seriously believe in nukes or not yes yeah manhattan people go check and make sure and they count there's no yeah there's no nukes hiroshima nagasaki where's the fallout it's over there but where's the fallout you haven't seen a warped up japanese have you i've seen a couple now you haven't shohei otani they was doing that before the nukes shohei's six five you don't think there's a little radiation i don't want to say you're welcome i don't want to say that because that's not how i feel in my heart but we gave him baseball and six five that's pretty good there's one one six five i'm just saying i'm just saying give me proof that there's nukes besides those two explosions which could have been anything else bikini atoll the trinity test have you been over there have you seen it the czar bomber in russia i guess i haven't seen it i've never seen i went to hiroshima and then the building was all messed up that the building was like that but they seem like the type of people that would like off their disabled you think they got some sparta in them yeah because it's like everything about them they got to do it perfect so if you're not born perfect they probably yeah let's turn that into something sushi that's next level do you think that's what uni is i hated uni i always hated it me too i probably want because you made it you want actual japanese food like i didn't come here for our shit i didn't come for barbecue no i'm not gonna um where where do you want to be like where would you want to if you were a descendant of nuclear fallout what country would you want to live in for me india why is that because i feel like the more like warped you look the more godlike with all due respect like if you got multiple arms they're like yo vicious back like even culturally this snow is here yeah culture they would see you or your you're rewarded yeah you're rewarded that's good where it's like you're right maybe in japan they wouldn't reward that type of abnormality in america maybe maybe you'd be like you'd be a famous tiktoker or something like that but it's not going to be as much as like being looked at as a god or like the jungle tribes in like south america some shit like why they like that yeah what do they do with it no you'd probably be like a god or some type of elevated being yeah remember they were saying yeah yes the uh the tiger face you want a little witchcraft in the culture if you got abnormalities you want some witchcraft yeah all i gotta do is just blink at you you think i just did some shit yeah but then it goes the other way though albinos in where africa no no well kind of they fuck them over okay tell me which doctors will try to harvest albinos and use their body for spells i get that no i get that you can't do i do get because we're not that far off say again we're not that far but don't they look like they just look like they're made out of the tusk right because the rhino tusk is everything right that cures everything and then they just you just made a humanist all tusk they're poaching chop them up chop them up ivory god that's funny they're pure ivory if ivory is the thing that the culture is like there is nothing more valuable than this one thing and now i don't gotta chase a dinosaur down to go get it yeah i could just let this thing grow up to full full size and then i'm like oh my god i'm not gonna be able to do that i'm not gonna be yeah because you were gonna make a statue out of the ivory anyway man i did the work for you i did but the question is you don't want to take it at veal you don't want to take it like it's gonna be hard you're looking at that ivory be like if i let this shit get to 18 years i'm gonna have so much more ivory but it's right there you might need it you might got a cousin that got aids and then you gotta you know you want to cure that but you're like oh yo can you hang on for like 18 years while while this thing gets to full growth so we can cure the whole neighborhood this is a hypothetical i'm putting myself i know ivory did all that but yeah how do you look this up i need to make sure i'm not speaking out of turn yeah can you really not speak out of time i just need to make sure i was worried we were gonna speak out of turn when al called the first lady don't put that on me that was mark nah come on i was mark gagnon i would never say i would never say yeah look at that nah dude this is albino's in tanzania yeah they're trying to get the witch doctors which is a hilarious fear of witch doctors who prize their body parts why they put doctor in there like why are they just witches yo that's some white shit ain't it that is some fucking white they are the doctors my man my man they're killing albinos and putting them in a soup that's not they make them into gumbo that's not a doctor yeah that's a chef that's like like a witch chef you know calling them witch doctor is it dr dre is more of a doctor than a fucking witch i believe in all i should not know but what i'm saying what i'm saying is they heal is that why they call them witch doctors yeah you come to them for healing yes for everything you got a spell on you i got a spell on you they'll take that off and shit i don't know the song just popped up did you just sample in this i did i did come on son i'm dr al might be a genius i'm dr dre al is both that was incredible okay so okay the term witch doctor originated in the 18th century with the first recorded use around 1718 created by europeans what the fuck did i say it's derogatory eurocentric and inaccurate and it shames or for indigenous shamans healers and herbalists that is kind of funny they saw some medicine traditional healers obviously a witch it's a witch why don't we call all uh eastern medicine witch doctors why don't we call people who do the uh what are those suction things on your back suck docs suck docs yeah yeah don't do it al don't you do it al no it can't be doctors they're too short i don't know i just feel like you can't take somebody that height seriously as a doctor that's just the deer i'm going with you guys think blacks can't be stuff whoa yeah yeah that's how you get out everything a sure woman delivered my children son don't say the n-word bro i didn't say it my joke bomba you're racist what about that bang what even about that doctor yeah okay okay oh do we have a new one to drop epstein queen yeah the epstein queen wait wait hold on before we go to this did we conclude did we get any information about the albino uh using their body for spells yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know yeah apparently they're using it we gotta just you know pour it out for the albinos respect to them i'll be honest can they get sun yeah because you could tan your way out of this right no i think that's the issue like they don't tan i don't think they tan but then so they're like irish so do they burn like do they get mad skin cancer yeah it's yeah they don't have any melanin and they're legit so they're damaged by the uv light it's a genetic disorder inherited by parents melanin so maybe the witch doctors are just trying to protect them in what way like the sun's gonna kill you i can do it first uh so it's like it's like an evil spell it's like hey help me not get cancer and the witch doctor's like i got you taking you out of your misery you know ma'am you think it's miserable being white come on out i don't want to break it that was good i haven't seen this one what is this yeah now the lego i mean i saw the other lego one which is actually like three minutes long yeah we just play a little piece of this one yo never , that's crazy how many views is that he's saying way crazy shit that i did i mean that show you did i mean that's crazy i kind of understand why trump was like we're going to end a civilization yeah imagine they got the roblox version of your wife destroy the whole thing he's like we're going for the servers first okay we're gonna get the nukes after but we got to invade for the server and the song is a bop this is like back to back yeah who's the artist yeah i don't know that's todd dollison i think that might be todd you know some of you guys seem to tie him up it's a good song it's a good song i put it on one of you whites wait what that's another one this is a different one oh my god hormoo's hustle we can't let this happen i'm sorry we gotta we gotta we gotta step it up as americans we are we're good at propaganda we invented it we thought we got to do better well what can we do i don't know we got to do something like sometimes our shit is ass bro i know the best they came up with was when they were taking out some sites they were like juxtaposing it with like hits from a football game yeah i saw that that was the best one we got no decent here comes the boom yeah ass ass ass ass i mean i don't know who's apparently this is a independent studio it's a it's a contractor with iran as a client yes the wtf media studios of russia they gotta be american they gotta be american because they know what americans like too much i guess they have to be american which that's a crazy deal that iran hits you up and they're like hey you want to make memes for us yeah a hundred percent and are they are they paying them like seven thousand dollars in post or something like that like what what an insane what an insane propaganda idea mark who knows how much money is involved who can who can ever think of doing such a thing like that persia boy studios he's an iranian creative entity known for producing viral lego animated videos there's another one explosion studios i think is the other one or explosive studios and apparently he did an interview recently where he was just talking he's okay another client like we handle you know creative media solutions for you know different companies fire it's just like i mean money's money what you mean especially if you're against let us put a bid in let us put a bid in at least scroll up what is this hold on in our video oh in our video with mr explosive he appears silhouetted and uh he's got the colors of the iranian flag and he says the team consists of fewer than 10 people so it's a little it's a mom and pop it's a startup you know they're getting to go cottage industry all right based off silhouette alone where do you think he's from that guy's white yeah that guy's white that guy's a caucasian person i can tell by the hair and the glasses wow al can you confirm that he's a caucasian person i can tell by the hair and the glasses wow al can you confirm that suspicion yeah i think it checks out he denies working for iran uh now he's confirmed now he said he's totally independent my all due respect maybe i got that wrong but crazy i like that they have them lit with the colors of the iran flag oh i don't work for iran i don't i'm italian that's like euphoria that's like euphoria always uses like neon and oh okay they're inspired man we're just wild man get us out this war bro what are you talking about the war it coachella happened now you're still talking about the war you're right my bad yeah why you got to get your head out of there hey man hey man can i just tell you something bro i'm at an age man where if someone starts a conversation and it doesn't involve peptides i really don't want to hear the end of it i don't want to hear about justin bieber playing his laptop at coachella i want to hear about ratatouille that's what i want to hear about are you getting on the shits i cannot wait to get on the shit you've been saying that for that long it's like getting your fucking um passport renewed it's like i don't want to go do the whole blood work do the whole thing i need a brazilian chick that got fed now i understand why that industry is so successful exactly because there's all the red tape i don't want to deal with it yeah she comes to your house she comes to my house gives you the retta gives you a little filler like that's a kind of ideal situation hello back mouth do you have enough back mouth is crazy because we weren't even saying that back mouth feels like you're getting your ass right isn't that back mouth sounds like how a gay dude describes ass yeah i'm trying to get some back mouth the mouth in the back of your mouth no he calls it back mouth he just didn't land to him until later i called it that it was fire back mouth print it guys let's take a break for a second i recently found out that men start losing testosterone around 30 damn yeah about one percent a year and here's the part that got me even when your body is making testosterone a lot of it gets locked up by this protein called shbg so it's like having money in your account but your card doesn't work that's why men should be taking mars men right here 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What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. Tell me about Coachella's. You didn't see any of this? I saw Justin Bieber. You had a great take on Justin Bieber. I thought this was awesome. If anyone doesn't know, we can play like a little clip here. But basically, Biebs is on stage at Coachella and it's just a completely stripped down performance. It's just him with a laptop on stage, live streaming more or less, and going through the comments of people like asking for song requests on the Coachella live stream. And then just pulling up videos on YouTube of his old performances and then singing along. And it's, in my opinion, awesome. I love it. How is that awesome? Tell me why you think it's awesome before you start hating on YouTube. I think it's far for a few reasons. One, it's like perfectly meeting the moment. Like right now, stream culture is dominating everything. The informal kind of hangout, parasocial vibe with being with someone online, kind of like reading your chat, responding and just being completely stripped down without trying too hard. Like so much of Gen Z is wrapped around like fear of being cringe or being observed. And he's just up there. Fully immersed in this new cultural moment where he's just posted up, not doing too much. And he's basically giving zero. And he's just like clicking through like baby and singing baby. Basically, singing with himself, the version that all of his fans in the world broadly fell in love with, that very first Justin Bieber. He's like revisiting this 15 year of different version with him. So there's a nostalgia play. There's nostalgia. There's something like beautiful about seeing him like reminiscing and like appreciating himself when he was younger. And then he's given nothing. Yeah. The audience is going crazy. And then the interstitials of him like pulling up memes and goofing around. It's like you're watching a live stream on stage in person with him just hanging out with one of the biggest pop stars of all time. And let me say, Bieber's also been steeped in different controversies. People are concerned with like his mental health. Is he doing OK? And to see him just like happy and euphoric on stage, like looking back at himself as a kid being like, man, I love that version of me that was new to this world that didn't know what was going on. That was, you know, in this industry that was, you know, scary but exciting. Balls deep as Selena. OK. Maybe. Maybe. Nah, that's his ex. And looking back on it, just being like, wow, that's awesome. He was balls deep. I don't know if he was deep. I don't know. How does Justin's nuts taste, bro? Nah. Jesus Christ. We can't appreciate all of that. Bro, we're not going to do that. So you telling me you're paying mad money to go to Coachella and Coachella's known for the over-the-top performance. Whoever's the headliner. You're about to watch Jay-Z do the exact same thing at Yankee Stadium. I bet you he'll be completely out. Jay-Z puts on a fucking show. No, no, no. People around Jay-Z put on a show. Jay-Z would have been walking around just like that. But that's fine. At least you put some effort into it or paid to put some effort in. This is zero effort. This is like, you know, I got millions and millions of dollars to headline this shit so I can sit here with a laptop and do fucking just doom scroll with you motherfuckers. OK, that's the other take. He's not performing with effort. I'll be honest. I like effort. I like effort in general. And maybe it's a generational thing. And I think, yes. I think there's a generation. There is a fear of being cringe for Gen Z for sure. And I think what happens is when you're afraid of being cringe, you remove yourself from any opportunity to be cringe so you stop trying. Right. And so, yes. And I think that I get that there is a version of that. I think Justin is in this place where it's like it's not like these people haven't seen Justin. They've seen Justin a million times. Is he going to go up there and do all the dance moves and recreate the same performance that he's given him? Or does he give a different kind of experience? Because at this point. At this point in time, I think they just want to hang out with him. And he created that hang. So I get that version. If your expectation was I want to see him fucking rock out, tear the roof off the place and have the whole spectacle, then, of course, it's not going to live up to that. But if your goal was just to, like, relive Justin's life through his music, especially these moments where you first consume Justin. None of us have seen a Justin Bieber concert, but we've seen them all online. And then he gets he allows you to replay those emotions the first time you watch baby, baby. Baby when he's fucking 12 years old or whatever. So I understand how it could satisfy in that way, especially when this performance is juxtaposed with all the other Coachella performances that are larger than life, bigger than ever. And every pop star right now is super big. Yes. Right. Like the Sabrina Carpenter, Benson Boone. Like they put on like these stadium style. Benson Boone's back flipping, bro. Yeah. Just like I'm going to sit on this fucking desk, bust out the laptop and we're going to hang. And the Delta with energy. Like he's. He's doing nothing. To me, that is a more interesting dynamic than a performer going crazy. The audience going crazy, at least in this moment right now. So I see where you're coming from. It's just I'll just say it's not for me because Coachella to me is, hey, you give them a Beyonce level performance. And that's what I'm expecting. And this was like, this is just lazy. I don't. To me, it's like, hey, I can look like, oh, I'm just like being cool. But this is like, OK. I didn't really want to put the effort. I think Coachella to me is like, I get to be around and hang with famous influencers and famous people. And he's like, oh, you want to hang out with me? Let's hang. You pick the set list. I have no songs planned. I don't know. I get it. Like, you're kind of convincing me. I get how people can enjoy it. So I think I think there's two ways. It's like because I, I agree kind of with both of you. I agree. It's like I want to see an artist that I really admire and appreciate go and light it up. Yeah. Blow my mind. Yeah. You know, you know, love him or hate him. But like you saw Ye's performance. So if I and you're like, this is like, whoa, different. And a lot of effort was put into this to make it different. And I appreciate that. Yes. And so there is that version, especially when you're at a place like Coachella. We're like, I'm ready for everybody here to top one another. And it's going to be insane. So I get that. But there is a version. And like, we weren't there. We're like the experience of seeing the crazy light show and all these things from seven different acts in a row, seeing something completely stripped down actually was refreshing and interesting. And I can appreciate that. I see it. So there might be something with that. But yeah, it's that was fine. I mean, the reaction online was kind of mixed. People were saying, it's kind of both of you guys, right? They were like, yeah, it's like kind of BS. And other people were like, the people that I knew that went were like, yeah, it was awesome. It was like casually. There was no like expectation. Also, you need to have a certain amount of gravity. People you know dress like this. So I would assume that they would like some stripped down shit. Exactly. Yeah, I get it. Exactly. Fuck, what was I just about to say? It don't matter. Yeah, you need peptides. I need peptides. I need peptides. Get on that NAD. I'm gonna get on that shit too. But there's, yeah, I don't know. I'm like, oh, that was it. It's only a few performers that can even do this. I think Kanye actually probably could have done this. No, no, Kanye can't. Like, there's only a handful of people that have so much gravity and so much mystique and also nostalgia built around them. Yeah. If you have a long career, that was, and you were big, one of the tops, then you could do this. You could do it. Yeah, yeah. But like, a new artist can't. Like, Sabrina Carpenter can't just sit up there and do it because I think the experience of the show, she's still kind of selling people on what it is she does and how she does things. Michael Jackson could literally just sit on stage and like have a conversation and you could hear the hits, you could dance, he could bring other people on to try to do their best version of a moonwalk and it would just be like, And it's funny you say him. I like just posted a clip of him because I was, I saw this and I'm like, yo, it's just zero effort. And then I saw this performance by Michael Jackson. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, it still blows me away today, Paul. But like, he is a performer. Like, that's what I want to see when I see somebody perform. I agree with you. Like, that's what I want. Me, if I'm paying money to go see a show, Coachella, I think people want to see the artists. But I think people want to be at Coachella. Coachella. Like, I think Coachella has almost become bigger than the artists. It needs the artists. I would say if I went to a Bieber concert and he did this, I'd be a little bit like, all right, I want a show. Oh, that's interesting. I'm going to a festival and I'm seeing all my favorite bands anyway. I got to see the Strokes, I got to see Geese, whatever. And then this happens, I'm like, oh, what a cool inversion of the whole thing. Like, he's meeting the moment culturally and in the context of the festival. That's interesting. Okay, I thought you were just giving him the pass just like, yeah, it's Bieber, he can do whatever he wants type shit. No, I think if Ye was at this, then I think he could do it. I'd be worried about what would come up on his YouTube. I think Ye's YouTube would probably have some clips that could be problematic. There would have to be some stuff coming from the live stream. Not even his YouTube, his own fucking YouTube. There might be some translated speeches that sound, you know, a little crazy. But that is a good one. It's like, how do you make your festival show different? And Coachella is a proper festival in that, like, everybody is in the same space and I think can access all the acts. It's a proper festival. There are certain things. There are certain things that, like, when the New York Comedy Festival happens, like, they call it a festival, but it's not like. Just little shows happening everywhere. It's like, there's already 20 shows a night in New York. Like, every day is a New York Comedy Festival in that regard. So it's like, this is a different experience and I wonder if, I wonder if people start doing this in future Coachella shows. Oh, now you can't. Not essentially doing this, but going, oh, I don't need to have the wildest show. I need to have the most different show. What I would also say is that I think there's a lot of acts that go to Coachella, especially, like, acts that, like, can tap into nostalgia that are going, all right, I got to put it all in on this performance and I got to have the best performance at Coachella and I'll lose money on this performance, but then I'll tour for the next two years because people will remember how dope I was. So I think it's almost like Burning Man is like an advertisement for DJs. Like, you go there, you don't make any money, you do whatever, but you know, if you bring it. I feel like T-Pain did that. You're right. where at Coachella I think he had a crazy performance like everybody was like left talking about T-Pain and then he had a little resurgence and then like and think about how viral you go yeah like if you throw if you throw down a Coachella and everybody is there and every influencer is there and they're posting the videos and the people are just reposting what they're seeing all of a sudden you get the viral traction of of of 10,000 different moments that could have happened over the year all in one time did I bring the Shia LaBeouf thing no tell me like this reminded me of like watch like Shia LaBeouf re-watching his old movies remember that oh he did like himself watching everything he's ever done yeah and it kind of gives you that same feeling of like oh I'm experiencing this through him which I think is cathartic for a lot of people and people I think pointed out the Frank Ocean thing where like he did Coachella and my feeling is like it didn't feel like Frank Ocean wanted to be there whereas Bieber seemed like he really enjoyed this he's just like yeah I enjoy connecting my fans and like reminiscing wait but did Frank do something similar to this I've read exactly what it was it was like two years ago maybe but he did he had this whole elaborate thing he had like ice skaters and they brought in an ice drink and like we made this whole thing and then he canceled it all and was like I'm not doing it and then he canned it and then he came in late and then like did a couple songs and bounced I think I hope that's right I like faintly remember that yeah yeah I want I want my entertainers to want to entertain yeah and I don't know what was going on with Frank and his life at the time but like I I want you to enjoy being up there and I want you to to want to share with an audience what's that mouse is it I think that's wildly entertaining weirdly he's like YouTube's golden child he's the artist who like came up off YouTube another great point no I'm talking about Frank maybe I'm going to be there whatever like I I like this version of it is fine but like I I do like when there is an artist that wants to share and they're they enjoy sharing and they're like treated as like a privilege to share yeah that is cool okay yeah to me but the YouTube connect I think the YouTube connects huge like he is YouTube's biggest artist you know I mean he came up off of it and all of the people that are there watching they're like roughly my age probably are like oh I watched all his YouTube videos constantly yeah consistent like at parties you'd put it on like his YouTube presence is huge for a lot of people my age and I think that them watching it with him is like so much like it's so connective to them yeah I feel like hasn't he been doing this like didn't he just start streaming 24 7 or some shit like that I've seen I don't know what that is but I saw him and like Sebastian like cutting it up yeah like I think he just like go and beaver like dude did a thing I think he just like live streams 24 7 in a crib I don't know if it's still going on but yeah I don't know what that was so now I feel like all right he just did a version of what he's doing at home so that's why it felt even lazier I was like right okay it's people want dog but shout out to be there because now if anyone tries to do it at a show they're gonna look like they're biting yeah shit exactly so all right can we hit a couple more things there's a a few other things that I was uh I was percolating what things what things I mean SNL the brilliant idiots which is hilarious oh did you see that what do you mean they did brilliant it was knocking you so so Cam Patterson Marcelo Hernandez Florida boys for the record shout out Cam and Marcelo just want to bring that up just a couple young Florida comedians okay and uh I was just interesting it's an interesting fact right whatever I do it too so it's fine two young Florida comedians that are amazing and they're both on SNL and they do this sketch with Colin can you go back a little bit uh they basically sit down and you can kind of see what they're doing and they're like oh let's see the dynamic here they're called the school the kids on the back of the bus like basically like the young kids that clown each other yeah and uh I don't think you've heard okay play oh my God who's Gravone oh Gravone is a friend of ours so he's doing the leg but I mean other people black guy white guy a bunch of legma jokes back to back jokes aside I don't think this inflation will predicate a noticeable shift in the Federal Reserve yeah but it does put the FAB between a rock and a hard place because they had to blow inflation while still encouraging economic growth the hell are you guys like secretly smart yes brilliant idiots tutoring from Amanda Cahold he's a genius you know Amanda Cahold who who is Amanda Cahold Amanda Cahold tell you I'm telling you man it took a little bit of brilliant so who's who so who in this one who would be I think I think Cam is Charlemagne and I think you're Colin Jost I feel like I would be Cam you think so yeah because I think I think oh because of the racial thing I think the racial thing oh yeah okay I think the racial thing and also this moment from brilliant is you remember this what's fun is this one you're out there at Wendy's Wendy's Wendy's this is you celebrate exactly like how they were doing I'm telling you you went Harlow might have got it this week bro I'm just saying nah and Marcelo did a good you I gotta be honest I think I'm Cam man no actually you know I don't know who it would be but first of all there's no way this is brilliant but uh I don't know who it is but if Cam gets one off on pause pause there you're posing a lot this week man yeah you know but my roots yeah yeah I hear you but but Charlemagne has never got one off never that's the history that's the lore of brilliant idiots is that he tries every week and he just cannot do it and even moments where he's about to do it he it up yeah but he cannot get it as brilliant as he is but Cam didn't get one yeah I don't know if can't be honest one for one they might be good if they had no if they had camp trying to do it then I'd be like all right we got some people you know they understand culture make this connection there were comments on the video that I saw the people being like this is like if brilliant it is went to high school together like the action yeah I think all right okay there's a bunch of other that I think we should talk about a bunch of scientists have been uh killed lately yo which we can talk about that before we go to that euphoria season three was Sydney before we talk about that about that this this Saturday big big big big Akash Singh Radio City Music Hall oh April 18th get them tickets we're all pulling up we'll be in the building okay the boys will be in the building so come say what's up and let's watch the boy live his dreams man so one more time for Akash Singh let's go grab those we'll see you guys there Saturday love you love you dogs I mean there's a few other things to jump into I mean the Diddy claiming that the freak off was a porn shoot and then also the Eric Swalwell stuff is wild tell me about this wall not to get like a whole political thing but like just looking at how power works is crazy tell me so there's currently a uh governor race in Cali in California and they got all these people in the mix a bunch of Democrats are jockeying for it right now Republicans are leading I think and they were leading at the very beginning and people thought like oh there's no way and like they're still like to have a good sizable amount of people polling being like yeah I'm gonna vote for the Republicans what so what are the Democrats gotta do they're trying to like figure out how to get people out of the race oh this was told me by a friend that's very like uh plugged in with all the media he's like basically they got to get people out of the race so they're trying to Bernie him exactly so they're trying to burn it who they trying to Bernie Eric Swalwell so they go to him they say hey Bernie would never Democrat yeah but yeah that's what the Dems are the Bernie within their within their uh primary they need like the person that they want okay okay but he was he was leading and then they he wasn't chose he wasn't the one they wanted oh so they say you gotta drop back because I'm not dropping out and they go you're gonna want to drop out I'm not doing it oh wow so they this is the story that was told me this is a pure allegation can we just name the show allegations yeah that's it so it was basically this whole situation where they're like you gotta go he's like I'm not going and he's an egomaniac so he knows that he's been doing and he's like it's not gonna be me I mean these are and then all of a sudden some stories start to leak some rumors start to go around it starts getting pushed through you know Democrat circles CNN's covering it and then Martin Shkreli gets a video from someone and says I have a video about representative Eric Swalwell Martin Shkreli the AIDS drug guy yeah he's a guy I don't know yeah he had the drug patent and then raised it and they got the Wu Tang album like that guy yeah yeah he's a very well connected political operative person that knows everyone kind of about how I know it's so crazy I feel like once you in then it's like you found ways to just stay he's savvy he knows who to talk to he knows what to do so he gets a video and says I would love a comment from Eric Swalwell and then he posts this video oh he just drops it oh that's here's Eric Swalwell video my source says it was taken at his home and the woman is a sex worker oh no you kissing hoes in the mouth bro oh that's the problem you kissing hoes in the mouth man get out of here son being in your crib is you gonna bring the sex worker to the crib who's the other dude with the shoes on a bed yeah kind of fresh fresh Nike's actually what is this situation so it's hard to know really what's going on it doesn't even really look like a house it looks like a hotel room in my opinion like you got mitered bed sheets? It's definitely a hotel room. It says it was taken in his home. Can I tell you how I know it's a hotel room? The way them fucking sheets are tucked in. That's what I'm saying, right? The corners. It's only done in hotels. Nobody tucks their fucking bed in like that. Also, the hallway with the mirror, it just looks like a hotel room. Again, I don't know. There's another video where he's laying with her. It's basically from the same chunk. It seems like there's a longer video and two clips from it came out. But if you notice, there's another guy sitting on the bed. There are allegations that that is another Democrat representative. That's kind of in the mix. That's one of his close friends. I don't even want to say his name because, again, this is purely an allegation. Allegedly the dude that he's on a camel with and they both don't have shirts on. I didn't see that picture. But it might be. He claimed at one point that it was his best friend ever. Now people are alleging that that's him. They were shirtless on a camel together, bro. Can we. Oh, I thought they were together that time. What's his name? If you can just scroll down, maybe. No. Swabble also likes to party. He likes to get around. There's videos of him. Yes, that guy. So what did he do wrong? So. I mean, there's a few things. One, this whole allegation of being with a sex worker while he's married and has kids. That's wrong. Shouldn't do that. That's wrong. And then there's. Mary Magdalene. Wait, what? Wasn't she a pro? No. You're going to fall for this fucking propaganda. I thought she was a pro. No, they had to make you think that she's a prostitute. Yeah. That's what they try to do. Who were they? What do you mean? The Romans. The Romans. I thought Jesus was being real. The Romans. I thought Jesus was being real presidential and turned a hoe into a. Well, Jesus wouldn't care if you were a hoe or not. Jesus wouldn't care what you did. Hey. As long as you go on and send no more. As long as you send no more. Go forth and send no more. Come on. Joey said the president doesn't eat. Go on and send no more? Mark Guinness threw this. So basically, this whole thing is now popping out. He stepped down from the governor race and now he's stepped out of Congress. Yeah. Because he had an affair. Not even an affair. Because he cheated on his wife with a prostitute. Yes. And then he also was involved with a Chinese spy before this. The first time I ever heard his name was in 2020 when a story came out that he was posted up with a Chinese spy named Feng Feng. Oh, this is the Feng Feng guy. Also known as Catherine Feng. And apparently Why do you act like you know what the fuck you're talking about? No, I heard about the Feng Feng story. He loves Feng Feng. Deadass. He knows about Feng Feng. I did, yeah. I think he just liked the name. And the story is that he slept with this Chinese spy allegedly. Oh, I missed the biggest part of the allegation. It's not the sexual harassment. There's also, from the New York Times, there's a staffer, a former staffer that claims that he Yeah. He got comped by a Chinese spy. I mean, he's a wild boy. He's an egomaniac. He's Feng Feng getting it in. Yeah. Low-key, it might come down to it where we just need a fucking priest to run the country. We just need someone who's not corruptible, man. We need the uncorruptible to do it. No baggage. No baggage, uncorruptible. What are you talking about? What priest is corruptible? All of them. Name one. All of them? Every Boston one that they had to move around to some other town to fuck in another town. That's the 1900s, bro. That's Boston Catholicism. They don't understand it. The Irish have a hard time. Wow, so you're saying all Irish are Grapers? They just drink and stuff gets away from them. Yeah, they get away. Yeah, they kind of off-road a little bit. They get away. Irish Catholics. The Pope can't be president at the same time. No, I get it. I get it. But what I'm saying is we need somebody kind of like that. If you could be president or Pope, which one would you go? Neither. Neither? Yeah, you go Pope. Yeah, Pope is way late. Go in the Vatican archives. Look at some old shit. Find a paper somewhere with a riddle. Just hang out with virgins all day. You know they're getting it in. You're doing that with me now. That's already what you do, bro. Did I know you was a virgin? No. You'd already done that. Ooh. You already done that. Sinning. You already did that. Sinning. Wow. Yeah, boy. Yeah. That's funny. I remember when he wouldn't admit that on air. Now he don't care. That was enough. No, he always admitted that. You little sinner. That was against God. You little sinner. We all fall short of the glory, though. Like a heathen. We all fall short of the glory of God. Yeah, we do, man. He don't forgive that easy. He does. What do I have to do to get it? You got more Hail Marys. Four of them? A lot more. How many more, Al? Yeah, just more. All right, all right. Five communions. Hold on, hold on. We got to go to Patreon. So what happens in California? Yeah. He was already a congressman in California? Yeah. No. Newsom has 14 days once he leaves office to set up a new election for him. He's in an incredibly blue state. I think Kamala Harris won it by 35% last time. But he was in the house running for governor. Yeah. And then there's a Republican that also had stepped down. Similar situation. Tony Gonzalez. Yeah. Golly. But that was a while ago. Yes, but he stepped down same day. He's like, yo, let me just bury my shit under some other guy's shit. So they left same day. Kind of a trade. Yeah. Eye for an eye. Oh, my God. But this is how politics works, where it's like, these guys are like, they're like jockeying. It's like chess. You lose a piece, they're like, I will take out one of our pieces. Yeah. It's absurd how none of this is real. Life is chess, really. Life is chess. There's so much. I don't know. If you don't play chess, I feel like you don't really get it. Mark got a fancy new chessboard. Brand new, fancy new chessboard. It lights up. It's very safe. What was your excuse when you gave away that piece of chess? I gave it to you for no reason. Is there any part of us that thinks that, like, Swalwell, Swalwell is his name? Swalwell is his name as well. No, but like, that Swalwell was with the Fang Fang girl to finish the rail project? Is there any, like, they had this high speed rail that they're never going to get done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then all of a sudden, this little Fang Fang comes around, and she's like, no, we have a history of fucking killing it with rail in America. Let us take over. Like, is there a part of it where it's not actually, like, a bad thing? Maybe, yeah. He's trying to get ahead of something. He's trying to fix the project. They were trying to make the fucking rail in the beginning in California. It didn't work. You think that's why they're. Then he started railing. Facts. You got to rail for a rail. Rail for a rail. Is that why they're bad drivers, you think? Because they're used to trains. They're like, bro, we built the train. Now you're pissing cars? It's like, they're good when it's on the track, and it just goes in one way, and there can't be traffic. And then we throw them in fucking automobiles where there's all these other things everywhere. Or maybe they're trying to get us back on the trains. Make the roads a little more dangerous. They're like, now, so you're going to use the shit we built. Say thank you. Say thank you to Papa. Boring company. Hmm. Boring. But the boring company. The boring company. Yeah. We only let them drive in that. Is that okay? That would be. Do you think you can do a loop-de-loop? Yeah. If you were going fast enough, you could probably spin around it, right? One. Rainbow Road? Of course. 100%. A million percent. And they'll try. Like, if there's some. What's the cow she odds? They drive the Chinese way upside down, just fully. We're going to Patreon. Patreon.com. Yeah. Slash flagrant. We'll see you guys over there. Peace. You matched on Hinge. You're vibing. Then her energy completely changes. What do you do? I'm Raven Smith, and I wrote and read a real love story about this exact sitch. Listen to the free audio book now. Endless Summer Escapes. Start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the upside down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at Netflix.com slash house. This episode is brought to you by Chat. GPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. 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