True Crime Family Stories From Reddit

Hi, everyone. It's Vanessa Richardson. Real quick before today's episode, I want to tell you about a show I host with forensic psychologist Dr. Tristan Engels. It's called Serial Killers and Murderous Minds. Every Monday and Thursday, we take you deep into the psychology of the most chilling murderers and uncover what drives them to kill. Follow Serial Killers and Murderous Minds, available wherever you listen to podcasts. This is Crime House. I, 24 female, found hundreds of pictures of my brother, 20 male, on my boyfriend's 24 male laptop. Can anyone please explain to me what's going on? Okay. Have you ever dealt with anything like this? No, thank goodness. Have you? No. I'm Sabrina Deanna Roga, writer, storyteller, and co-host of Two Girls, One Ghost. My name is Alexis Linklater. I am the host of The First Degree and Unraveled, and I've been investigating cases like the Long Island serial killer case for the better part of 10 years. Between us, we've spent years telling true crime stories, the haunted, the unsolved, and the ones that stay with you. But now we're teaming up for Crimes of Reddit, a Crime House original powered by Pave Studios. Each week, one of us brings the most unhinged stories that the internet has to offer. And the other goes in completely blind. No prep, no spoilers, and reacts in real time, same as you. And we pull every thread until the whole twisted picture comes into view. It's dark, it's messy, it's so much fun. Make sure to tune into Crimes of Reddit every Tuesday and go down the rabbit hole with us wherever you get your podcasts. And to share your own stories or flag a post you want us to cover, follow us on social media at Crimes of Pod on Instagram and join our subreddit. We'll see you next time on Crimes of Reddit. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. dot com slash pave weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states wagovi is the registered trademark of novo nordisk as to get started and learn more including important safety information wagovi clinical study information and restrictions visit for hers dot com welcome to chumba casino america's number one online social casino it's free to play with no purchase necessary explore hundreds of social games including top tier slots jackpot games and table classics with new games launching regularly at home on your lunch break or relaxing on the couch world-class entertainment is just a tap away score free daily login bonuses and kick things off with a free welcome bonus sign up today and discover why over 1 million players choose chumba casino to play for non-stop fun your next fun moment starts now at chumba casino no purchase necessary bgw group would be prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply what's the theme for this week we've got family stories oh i feel like and we were talking in our lunch break today about our own families and i feel like this is going to be a lot of fun going to bring up some um some fun conversations about our own lives everyone at least at one point had a family or started with a family or built their own family the idea of someone being extremely close to you i think we can all relate to that to some degree so the stories we're covering today pretty mind-blowing deeply uncomfortable and i'm excited to hear your perspectives on just what you would do in some of these situations okay i'm excited yeah i'm so excited to hear what you would do in these situations or if you have your own crimes of family situations that you want to share with us which you can do in the comments or on the crimes of reddit subreddit which is r backslash crimes of pod and we'll probably read some of your stories if you put them on there so we want to do that bring them on share your secrets tell us everything show us your toes i don't know whatever you don't do that i don't think i can't that's a different subreddit not ours totally have you ever had someone ask for feet pics no um not yet well i don't really wear sandals like i feel like that happens like it happens to friends of mine who wear a lot of sandals and once they see the feet on instagram or something then people get but they're getting it for free i know but they want a more high def look interesting yeah i've had a lot of people but it's also because i've joked about starting a business because i think i could make a lot of money probably and so i've had people dm me i've yet to give in because i was told by my manager that it's a slippery slope you start with your toes and then you go to your vulva it could happen fast it could happen fast anyway we're not here for feet we're here for reddit that's right should we dig in to the first story yes i'm gonna close my laptop because you want to lock in i'm gonna hold on to it like my emotional support security laptop yes great got it so here's where we're starting my estranged family revealed that my loving family oriented dad was actually a monster okay so growing up my friends would always say that my brother and i had the coolest parents they were the laid-back but still involved mom and dad parents i was especially close to my dad and thought he was the best dad ever he made a hot wheels dollhouse by hand for my birthday to give you an example wait like a dollhouse made out of hot wheels i have i want pictures we can only imagine yeah then she goes on when i wanted to be super girl my mom hand sewed me a costume for halloween my parents are a physically affectionate couple too and my brother and i thought it was gross when we were kids but now i realized that being in your 40s and still in love is a miracle kind of depressing but sure yeah yeah so she continues my parents are immigrants and because of that we were never really close to their families who lived in their home country but recently my brother and i got in touch with some cousins on my mom's side on our own and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a super girl and got to know them they were awesome and really chill my aunts and uncles and grandparents were a little stiff but they were nice they only wanted to hear about what us and our mom were up to and not my dad so i got kind of frustrated and kept mentioning my dad anyway finally my cousin said if we didn't stop talking about our dad their parents wouldn't let them talk to us anymore i like knowing the subject line of this post i like my mind is going to all crazy facets i can't wait to hear what actually brace yourself okay none of our cousins knew what was going on either or why they hated our dad so much so they all started asking around and digging into family stuff i thought it was going to be something stupid like class differences or my grandparents not approving of my dad for some reason but we found out the truth and it was a lot worse than we imagined oh no my cousins found a single short newspaper article from a digital archive about it turns out when my dad was young he kidnapped a university student and kept her for a bit a bit how long is a bit i had questions about a bit because a bit could be a couple minutes a couple hours a week a month i mean a bit in a life could be a year yeah so who's to say but not elaborating yet okay we'll see if we get to it so she continues he was a minor at the time this happened so he or anything like that on his record okay so i can't look at my dad the same way again or my mom why would my mom marry someone who literally kidnapped and hurt a person my parents have noticed something off with us but i don't even know how to bring it up so the question here is what would you do if you found out this information about your own dad or mom would you confront your parents i have found out information like this about my dad like this worse i'm listening i don't know if i should talk about it on here but i was told so my my dad might have been involved in a like deadly crime when growing up this is fascinating so it can be so destabilizing to learn something about your parents and there's no age for the redditor here who posted this but it's like especially when you're young you have like adults on a pedestal and think that like they're different than how you feel right and that they're yeah they have it all figured out right and that they didn't have a life before you right and they have tangled secrets just like yeah anyone else and like because i from my own experience when I learned that, I wasn't all that surprised given what I know about my dad because he is a very complicated figure. And I'm like, oh, this lore actually makes me understand him a little bit better. But it sounds like in this situation, it was so disorienting and didn't align at all with the man that she knows. Yeah. And I think, you know, that's in her setup. Just her dad was the best. This was a huge shock. So some of the comments here, one of them says this, I'm sorry, that's a terrible thing to find out about someone you love. But since you do love your dad and he has loved you all these years, tell him what you found and give him a chance to tell you what happened. Maybe he had a mental illness that's under control now, or he was under the influence of drugs or bad people or voices in his head. Maybe he was just a bad person. I don't know. And neither will you until you find the courage to ask him. Good luck. I'll be hoping things work out for you and your family. Good advice. Would you ask? Yes. I have no self-control. And those people who can harbor, I'm heart on sleeve, no control. Oh, in a second, I have one drink. It's over. It's over. So the original poster replied to this comment and said, thanks for the advice. It's hard. I don't know how I'll even ask him about this. This isn't the dad I know at all. Now, whatever you're thinking this is, it's about to get so much crazier. Was it the mom? We'll see. Oh, my God. Okay. So another commenter said this, maybe when your brother can ask together to be there to support each other, it won't be easy, but it might help save your relationship with your father and mother, depending on what you find out. So at this point, per what we're reading, the original poster's disgusted with her mom for knowing this about the dad. So very interesting. So later in this thread, the original poster provides more additional context. Here's what they say. Okay. It's okay if you don't believe me. It's kind of an unbelievable, horrible thing to happen. So my cousins know more than I do. They know more about this stuff than me or my brother, since they actually speak the language and talk to my aunts and uncles about all this. One of my aunts made a few kind of vague statements about what happened, like about him being bad as a teen. And my cousin searched for what she talked about, and they found the article and asked her about it. And she basically confirmed it because she said that's why they don't talk about my dad. I don't know if it's why he did what he did. I don't, their article was really short, only a few lines in their native language, just saying he kidnapped a university student. I don't know if it's because he was a university student and kept her, basically. Interesting. And that he was a minor and went to the equivalent of juvie for a few months. I don't know how to explain it, but their country has conservative values, but not that conservative. Like, they're pretty modern. The victim was a student at a university, so she had to be at least 19 or 20 from what my cousin said. So she was a woman, not like a girl. I don't know what to think. My cousins don't know much more than me, since the older generation have kept it hush-hush. Original poster has more updates. Okay. So I tried to bring it up to my dad, but I couldn't. I would really hurt to accuse him of being a monster if he had literally done nothing wrong, because it meant that I actually thought he could be capable of doing something horrible like this. So I decided to talk to my mom. I told my mom everything, and she kind of started to justify it, saying that my dad was young, stupid, in love, and mentally all over the place. Then she slipped up and said, he didn't hurt me. Okay. So I dug deeper into the thread. Yeah. And the original poster added more. That at the time, so apparently she clocked based on this mom's admission, that it was actually the mom who was abducted by the dad. Okay. So the mom added more context, said this. They didn't know each other before the abduction. My mom thought it was safe to accept. They didn't know each other before? No. So it was a stranger abduction. Okay. It was safe to accept a ride from my dad because he was young and harmless, and he was wearing a school uniform. She said my mom was 20 and my dad was 16, but I think she's mixing that up. And then another question from a user was, was your dad's family aware of the kidnapping? Was he living with anyone? Did he have any family? And apparently he lived with my grandpa and my great grandpa, who was always out of the country. My dad said the family was pretty well off. No one was home at the time of the kidnapping because of the holidays. The maid came in in the morning to either pick stuff up or drop it off, and that's when my mom rolled out of the window, twisted her ankle, and ran to the maid and asked to go to the police. So, like, at least overnight? She didn't say. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So, something happened here where the mom was abducted in a stranger abduction and somehow ended up marrying- And we don't know, like, how their relationship progressed after that? No. But another commenter said, this, that they had heard something similar in their native country, which was the Philippines. Okay. And said it was in the 70s, and said that a family member of theirs got abducted in the 70s in the Philippines and by the chauffeur, by a driver. Yeah. And apparently the scandal of disappearing with this man for days was so scandalous and, like, reputation ruining that she decided to just marry the guy because of that. Because culturally, it's basically, like, you're damaged goods now. You're damaged goods now. So, if you don't marry this guy, no one's going to marry you in, like, the way the society- Which is devastating. I know. Yeah. So, people in the comments in this post were asking if that could be the case. Right. You know? It's kind of a little bit like Stockholm Syndrome, too. Yeah. And so, you know, the original poster is here and saying, I kept asking my dad, you know, they obviously have this confrontation eventually with both of them. The mom and the dad. And I kept asking my dad why he would do this. And he was just being stupid and selfish and didn't realize that it was scary to her. And my mom said, what's done is done. And they got over it. And now my mom and dad are in love and happy. And that we could go to individual therapy to deal with it further if we needed to. I do appreciate that as a response. I guess. My brother said it didn't matter anymore and he wishes we didn't know at all. And original poster says, I can't look at my parents' the same way again. And honestly, I agree with my brother. I regret talking with my cousins and I think my estranged family has a right to avoid my family for what my dad did. I feel really sad for the original poster. Yeah. Because it's like, that is life-shattering a little bit. Yeah. And I think for me, what I would be most worried about, I don't know about her age, but looking at this now at my age, I'm like, growing up in a family system that dysfunctional is terrifying. And I wonder what the other implications are. Well, and also, is the mom actually willingly, or has she convinced herself that she's in this relationship willingly on her own terms? Or has she been manipulated so much over the years that she doesn't even know? Yeah. I mean, you mentioned the Stockholm syndrome. It's like, well, how long was a bit? I need to know that. Because if it was like a week, exactly. Yeah. Also, out of curiosity, I know we don't have this answer, but growing up, I would ask my parents all the time, like, how did you guys meet? I want to know your love story. What did the poster's parents say? They probably said university. School. But what they really meant is, oh, I kidnapped your mom. From school. For a bit. Yeah. And some of the people in the comments are like, there's more to this. There must be something missing between your mom forgiving him for the abducting her and her family hating him. And people want to know, again, which country this is. And another commenter said, well, if you did nothing, why run away to the U.S.? Like, there's got to be more to this story. But I don't think I'd want to find out if I was, if this was my parents. I guess here's the one thing that I, that not, doesn't make it better necessarily, but at least it's not an unknown woman that he kidnapped that, like, we don't know where she is or how she's doing. Like, it's horrible. Don't kidnap anyone. But. Yeah. The mom survived. She's okay. Physically. Physically. Yeah. And seems to be a good mom. Yeah. An original poster leaves us with this. My dad did kidnap her, even though my mom insists that he didn't hurt her. And she was fine, but she admitted she was terrified when she was in his house because she had no idea what he would do to her. So he definitely did bad things, even if he regrets it. Kidnapping is a horrible crime. My first thought would be like, did he do this to anyone else? Anyone who's capable of this, who's willing to let, like, someone be afraid, you know? Yeah. And then further, like, now, the way she's describing her life now, the mom being essentially, like, removed from her family because they all hate. Him. The abductor husband. Yeah. I mean, it sounds pretty bad. I think it's always a red flag if your family doesn't like a partner. A hundred percent. Yeah. Damn. And it only gets worse from here. Oh, great. Fantastic. You ready for number two? Yeah, let's do it. Thank you for joining us. We'll be right back. Cozy season is upon us. us. That means chilly sunrises, slow afternoons on the couch, and oversized sweaters. 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But I've never had to deal with finding photos of her on a boyfriend's phone. Yeah. So. Okay. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. Relationship is slash was great. And we honestly never had any serious problems. We both have full-time jobs and live together. He's good friends with my younger brother as well, mainly because of their shared interest in fitness, workouts, et cetera. They hang out a good amount and go to the gym together. In hindsight, the fact that they're good friends makes it all the more creepier. Yesterday, I was home alone and my boyfriend was at work. I needed to print something out, but my laptop wasn't working at all. My boyfriend has several laptops and there's one in particular he never uses. At least I've never seen him use it. That's weird. That in itself is an odd thing. Unless you have a production company, do you need many laptops? That many laptops? No. Like, I have a bunch of like broken laptops that I haven't done anything with. Well, because what do you do with them? Yeah. So I get that. But like having a bunch around. Like functioning ones? Yeah. Maybe no. So anyways, I thought this laptop was some dusty old thing. I grabbed it and it was not shut down properly. When I opened it, it took me straight to the photo albums and there were hundreds of pictures of my brother saved. Also, if it took her right to it, that means that that's what that computer is for. It's the last thing he was doing before he closed it. Okay. So most of these pictures were pulled from his social media accounts, but there were also pics of him from his rugby team's website, WTF? Okay. So they're not nudes. Yes. No. It could be a physique situation. Body envy? I don't know. Get subscription to Men's Journal or something. I'm trying to make it less worse. Yeah. This isn't even the worst. Okay, great. There was an album that only consisted of creep shots and videos, pics of him sleeping, and even videos of him getting changed. Oh, no. You could clearly see in the vids that he wasn't aware of being recorded. What the fucking fuck, she says. I agreed. What the fucking fuck. Do you have any thoughts yet? I don't know. Oh, I hate it. So, the last pic he uploaded was literally last week. This is so creepy, I don't even know what to say. There were also pics of someone's gym clothes, and I'm assuming they're also my brother's. I'm confused, disgusted, and shocked. What the hell is going on? When he came back from work, I just went straight to sleep. I couldn't even face him. I honestly can't think of a good reason he would do this. I mean, straight guys don't usually do this, right? I don't know if I should even know. I don't even confront him about it. Should I ask what this whole thing is about? Well, also how violating for her brother. Mm-hmm. Because it's not like, oh, maybe they're having a secret affair, and he's sending her boyfriend photos. No, he's being stalked. Yes. And all of his privacy is being invaded by someone he trusts. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, why do you think the boyfriend's doing this to the brother? Either romantic interest or obsession. I mean, whatever it is. It's not great. Would you confront your boyfriend? This is a really tough situation because it feels a little bit more nuanced, where it's someone you know. Like, I almost immediate jumped into concern for the brother. How do I protect my brother? Because it's so violating. But then, yeah, like, that's your partner. I don't know. I don't know. Would you? I would not. Because he feels unsafe. Yes. I would not because there are so many true crime cases where somebody's busted. Like, there's been situations that's different than this, but where, like, the husband's faking that he got into medical school. And they're, like, moving to the city to go to medical school. And then the wife finds out he's not even – he never got in. And the guy freaks out and kills his whole family. Like, once the veneer – like, we've seen this in cases like, you know, like the Scott Peterson case. There's, like, elements of this. Like, if you catch someone in a lie, sometimes, like, they freak out and burn it all to the ground. They'll do everything to protect it. Yeah. So I think something like this, with how sensitive the situation is – because if you confront the boyfriend, he's going to be afraid that you're going to tell the brother. The second you know you're a liability to whatever this obsession is. Yeah. I would not. I would end the relationship and tell the brother. Yeah. But then it's, like – it's such a hard one because the – Not knowing what the reasoning, I think, would also bother me. But I agree I wouldn't want to confront him directly. No. So some of the comments weigh in on this. So one user says he's clearly got a thing for your brother. It's not a healthy way of expressing it. Creepy, if anything. But it's quite obvious. Confront him. Tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Be prepared to break it off with him. Sorry you're having to deal with this. The original poster replies, It's weird because I've never even suspected that he had a thing for my brother. I would have noticed something like that. I honestly can't believe it. Another user says, It's not just that your boyfriend is sexually attracted to your brother, but that he's clearly obsessive. Yeah. I'm a single guy and I will look at Facebook pictures of my crush, but I don't save them in my computer. That's super creepy. And then go out of your way to take surveillance footage, basically. Or sleep stuff. Yeah, the sleep stuff is really creepy. And one user says this, you know, it's a lot worse than your boyfriend being secretly gay. Because I agree. Being secretly gay has nothing to do with violating people. No. Yeah. You know, I would take the laptop and show my brother, then go to the police and report it. And another user said, But then what can police do? You know, I hoped you said that. I hoped you'd ask that because like, You're welcome. They have a lot of, like a lot of users say this. Like, don't confront him alone. Go to the police. And it's like, the police, there's no crime committed until your brother complains. Yeah. Or until your brother pieces together that these were taken with secret cameras. Like, you going to the police with a computer isn't, they're just pictures. They're just pictures, yeah. Without context, you know. Oh, that's so tricky. Because, because then also, I mean, I feel like the right move is break up with him. Tell your brother. But then it's this awkward, like, is he so obsessed with your brother now that your brother is in danger? Right. Physically? Right. And, you know, one user said, I don't recommend confronting him alone. This is some very unhealthy stuff. And I feel like if you corner someone with this sort of thing, he may react in a way that puts you in danger. or don't do that. Which is what you said. Yeah. Even if you crave the dramatic airing, which I would. Are you one for a dramatic airing? I think there's something really cathartic about confronting someone because I think what you said, like I'd always be afraid, like what if there was an explanation? Like I think that's a valid fear. Yeah. But I think your gut would know there's something so wrong about this. But a lot of people would be like, I can't just end a relationship without talking about this. But a younger version of myself might not be able to hold it in. If this happened now, I'd realize how dangerous this is. Yeah. Yeah. Because I've confronted men in my past who have like been looking at other women and stuff, but it's not someone I know and it's not taken to the level of obsession and stalking. Yeah. This is dangerous stuff. Yeah. So there's an update. Okay. Sorry to disappoint, but this isn't a positive update. Oh no. I'm still trying to mentally process it all, hence the delayed post. So I grab my laptop to take pics of the photo albums. I found way more stuff than I originally stumbled upon. A lot of commenters in the original post said that he probably used me to get closer to my brother. I didn't quite believe it at first, but they were right. Like it predates their relationship situation? Yeah. So while I was taking pics of the photo albums, I found more folders. He began saving these pictures four or five months before we even started dating. And my brother didn't even know him at that time. Okay, so yeah, this is a very dangerous man. That realization sent chills down my spine. You're not alone in that, sister. Oh, yeah. I also went on the internet. The bookmarks, his browsing history, it was all horrific. I'm not going to elaborate because it's honestly sickening. It's clear that he has an obsession with my brother and extremely violent and disturbing fantasies about him. Oh, like she found like searches? Yeah. And when you say violent and disturbing fantasies, that's like really just scary. That's scary, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's the kind of stuff you see in evidence against serial killers. I mean, that's literally in like. Sewerman, the Long Island serial killer, they presented that kind of evidence of his digital searches, like violent, disgusting, predatory. Like fantasizing. Yeah, and it's like clearly that's what she's inferring here about her brother, which is so scary. So scary. So she continues, This was absolutely messed up, scary stuff. I cannot believe that I was so clueless about everything. I went over to my brother's place and explained everything, showing him proof on the actual laptop. He was shocked. And creeped out, of course, but didn't believe that my ex was behind this for different reasons. But he's not gay. He wouldn't do something like this, etc. I wanted to go to the police, but he completely refused. It also doesn't even have to be a gay thing. It could be like a murder thing. It truly could be fantasizing about killing someone. Yeah, you hear this about, you know, there are a few cases that I've seen about like female friendships that escalate to some, one of them has some fixation. And it's like, there's obviously something. There's something really strange here, but you can see why he doesn't want to go to the police. It's the same reason victims of sexual assault, who are boys and men, don't want to go to the police because they immediately will say, like, the police will suspect I'm gay when I'm not. Right. Not that there's obviously anything wrong with that, but like, they don't even want to go there. Yeah. Which is sad. It's so sad. And why so many male victims, like, keep it buried inside and end up victimizing other people, frankly, because they don't deal with any of it. Yeah. So, brother didn't want to go to the police. She continues, My plan was actually to confront my ex in public, but my brother just straight away texted him to come over. When my ex came, I showed him the laptop and asked him to explain. The entire situation was so bizarre. While I was talking, he seemed incredibly angry. I've never seen such a look on his face before. Man, it's so scary. But when he calmed down, he casually confessed to everything when he calmed down. He said that it was just a bad habit. He got into. That's what he's supposed to do, and that he's truly sorry. Yeah, just like, you know, picking your nails. Yeah. Ugh. It's, like, so chilling. And at that point, my brother said that this probably is a prank. It just wasn't funny, etc. I started crying a little, and he rolled his eyes and told me to stop crying. He was so nonchalant and cold, I didn't even recognize him anymore. Then he said that he would immediately stop doing this if we kept this to ourselves. I think my brother. My brother finally believed him then, because he was absolutely dumbstruck. It's worse. My ex then said he'd take down the cameras, too. Shut up. And that we shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I asked him where the cameras were, and he proceeded to show us. He probably thought he was a good guy for cooperating with us, and that it would make the situation less creepy. Oh, so, like, why would you trust that he shows you all the cameras? Well, and you know what? I mean, that's a manipulation tactic. Yeah. People who are liars. Liars and manipulators will admit to one thing and be like, look, I'm being a total open book. I'm not lying. See, I'm confessing to everything. And then the worst thing is still buried. So this isn't even the worst thing. So then he says, Turns out there was a camera in the shower as well. It was nauseating. The conversation that followed was extremely uncomfortable, and my ex said some very provocative, inappropriate things. This is way worse than I ever would have imagined. I know. It's. It's traumatizing. For everyone. The brother and sister. And, like, pinning a wedge between them. Like, there's so much wrong with this. They ended up having a huge argument about the stolen clothes, amongst other topics, and the rest was pretty awful. I eventually went to stay at a friend's place. I'd already packed my stuff anyway. There's another paragraph. I was going to say, I need. I hope there's more because I need to know more. Later that night, my ex texted me that I'm a bad person for invading his privacy and that I'm selfish, narcissistic, a bad human being, etc. He said that he's willing to forgive me, though. Yeah. He really said that. Great guy. Great guy. With the gaslighting. Yeah. The Darvo. Yeah. Right. I blocked his number on everything. A day later, he came to me at work, and I told him to stay away from me. He did that every day for one week, at different locations, until I seriously threatened him. He said that he never cared about me anyway and wished me luck for my future relationships. What a horrible, horrible man. So there's another ending with how the brother, how that played out. A couple of days ago, my brother texted me. We haven't spoken at all since that day, and he apologized, but he still refuses to address the elephant in the room. He's just pretending it never happened. I told him that my ex is clearly not stable. Why would you not notify the police? And I honestly don't know what to do. It's so sad. And oh, by the way, it was his 21st birthday yesterday, and I called him in the morning. He told me that he got a present from an unknown sender. What was it? Do we know? No, but the poster, the original poster said this. I said that the sender is probably not unknown to us. Like, this is 100% my psycho ex. I just know it. And as I said, this isn't a positive update. A lot of people seem to be concerned, and that's the only reason I posted this. I just hope things don't get worse. How long ago is this posted? Like, this post was in 2018. I mean, I'm sure there have been updates since then. Like, this guy was upset. He's an obsessive and clearly a bad person. But I'm also concerned of how many other people he has in the past done this to and will continue to do this to. Because when there are no punishments for someone like this, they have no reason to stop. Yeah. I mean, he's only 24. Like, think about all the time left in life he has to, like, terrorize and torment people and invade people's privacy. Do you just hate people? Yeah, I do. They're the worst. Well, and, like, again, it's just, like, the entitled. the entitlement of feeling entitled to someone's privacy and stealing his clothes. Like, there's so much of that in, like, criminal minds. Like, you see it in killers. That's how they start. They start by, like, burglarizing and stealing people's underwear and escalates to violence. Yeah. So, and especially. Oh, that makes me so sad. Yeah, and the searches she was talking about. Like, no good can come from this. Yeah, I feel like that's going to escalate. And then it's going to be one of those situations where it escalates to an extreme. Like, knock on wood, hopefully no one gets murdered. But, like, if something like that does happen, it's going to be one of those cases where you look back and this is one of the stories that you hear about. And it's like, oh, all the signs were there. Yeah. And sending the gift after, you know. Yeah, supposedly everything was going to be cut off. But I also understand from the brother's perspective why you wouldn't want to go to the police. Like, that's his decision to make, I guess, in a way. But you were even pointing out, like. I don't know, I feel like it makes it more real. Yeah, you'd want to downplay it and make it, like, not a bigger thing. And maybe it's a, you know, a defense mechanism, too. Like, if there's worse on his computer, I don't want to know. You know, it's already messing with his. Life. Psyche, yeah. His reality. Totally. Jeez. Well, that's a grim. I know. Well. Is it going to get worse? It's going to get different. And I think this will be. I mean, you have a brother. So this is not. That last story was not relatable. To me in any way. I don't have brothers. I always wondered what it would be like, because I think that's such an interesting dynamic. I technically have three brothers. But I only have one that, like, I'm really close with. Yeah. Yeah. That's many brothers. I feel like I've dabbled in how complicated my dad is. But he's a complicated man, has lots of kids. Many? Okay. So you really understand the brother of it all. Yeah, especially with my younger brother, who's. Well, they're all younger. But of my, like, core family, he's 28. And I feel like. I feel like I helped raise him, too. So I feel so protective of him. Yeah. That if someone were to fuck with him, I think I would become more protective of someone trying to fuck with my family and my brother or my sister than I would if someone was trying to fuck with me. Oh, yeah. I've just let people walk all over me. Oh, yeah. For sure. Unintentionally. But yeah. No, 100%. Yeah. Are we ready for the next one? Let's do it. Let's do it. Clients with insurance pay 20% dollars on average, and most people find their match on their first try. If you're hoping to improve your mental health, try searching for a provider through Alma. Get started now at HelloAlma.com. That's HelloAlma.com. I've always dreamed of being able to order my coffee in Italian like a local, instead of just pointing at the menu and hoping for the best. There's something about speaking another language with real confidence that opens up a whole new world of experiences. That's why I'm so excited about Rosetta Stone Sapphire. It's their biggest launch in over a decade. 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This gets you access to Rosetta Stone Sapphire in 25 languages. Visit rosettastone.com slash rs10 to redeem your 20% off. That's rosettastone.com slash rs10. We just moved into our new house, and I didn't realize just how close we were to the neighbors. That's when my friend told me about Blinds.com. Blinds.com isn't a medication, but it can improve how you feel about your home. To shop at Blinds.com, experience excellent customer service, from consultation to installation. Side effects include increased privacy and better sleep. Talk to your partner today and see if Blinds.com is right for you. Visit Blinds.com to order your free samples. My mother-in-law suddenly passed away in a car accident last month. At the same time, my stalker disappeared. Coincidence? Probably not. Probably not. Oh, that's so sad. Messed up. So, my mother-in-law and I have never had a good relationship. She has tried to sabotage my relationship with my husband since the day she met me. I wasn't good enough for her handsome and successful boy. Which is a crime on its own, like women protecting their sons like this and being obsessed with their children. My handsome, successful boy. Vomit. Give me a break. Anyways, so. You can think your child is successful without being obsessed with them. And you can think they're handsome without babying an adult man. I contemplated ending my relationship several times. But my husband always showed that he is on my side and I love him. A few years ago, I started getting very threatening and scary emails and texts from a PAX. This PAX knew everything about me. It didn't matter how many emails and phone numbers I changed. They, or he, always found me. I made several reports, but nothing happened. My husband tried everything to trace these emails. Nothing came out of it. He was like, PAX always found her. And she was under the impression that PAX was a guy based on the language that was being used. And the original poster says, I made several reports, but nothing happened. And this past year, I basically never left the apartment alone. So saying that she got so scared of this, that it was, she was afraid to leave the house. To be alone. Yeah. So she says, I haven't received a single threatening text or email from PAX in a month. After a few days, I wasn't surprised. I felt like I always knew it was my mother-in-law deep down. My husband hasn't reacted yet. He's consumed with his grief and I don't want to bother him, especially when he bitterly told me, you must be very pleased now. When we heard the news and I tried to comfort him, he apologized later and said he was just feeling guilty that he loved and chose me more than he loved her. Well, that's so complicated. Yeah. That's so complicated. And also, it would be one thing to find out your mom was this like PAX person while she's still alive. But to be dealing with the grief of losing your mom, regardless of how complicated your relationship is, like you could hate your parent. And if they die, people still have so much grief and that like feeling of loss. It's primal. I mean, they're the most foundational relationships human beings can have. I mean, they mold who we are. And we feel totally intertwined with them. So it makes total sense. Like it's impossible to let go. Oh, that's so sad. So she continues. Okay. Now I'm waiting for my husband to connect the dots. Will he get it? If he does, will he talk to me about it? I don't know if I will ever bring it up to him. Also, I won't relax and go back to my normal life just yet. But I know in my heart that it's over and I can't be happier about my life. Well, yeah. And she's entitled to feel that relief because she was being tormented by this woman. Also, I'm curious if, and maybe this will be in updates, but when like you lose someone and you like start to go through their things, do they find anything that proves it was her? I've actually heard a lot of stories like that. Yeah. Where, you know, one story I heard was this woman was dealing with like constant people stealing her identity constantly. And like basically her financial life was in ruins. And when her mom died, she found all the things that were in ruins. And she was like, I don't know, all the documents that it was her mom. And then it's like, you can't do anything with the anger because they're gone. Yeah. Crazy. So do you think you'd tell the husband or do you think you'd wait? I would wait because I would empathize so much with their processing the grief. And then I would be able to like sit with my relief of it being over, but I wouldn't want to throw that on them. Right. What about you? I think I would have started accusing the mother-in-law the second I suspected it. Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of like, I'm not, I can't be calculating like that. So my husband at the time of her death would have already known that I thought it was her. I do agree with that. But I think if you didn't put it together until after, I wouldn't. Yes. Choose then. Yeah. I wouldn't choose then. To bring it up for the first time. Yeah. Totally. So some comments here. You know, there are a lot of cases where people had tons of threatening letters and phone calls and many of they never found out who did it. And most people assumed it was some random psycho, but I wonder how many were close to them instead. There was an episode of This American Life about a woman who was continuously the victim of identity theft and bank accounts. No, I heard of a different story about bank accounts kept getting hit despite changing cards, banks, everything. Turns out she was living with the thief. Another comment. My stalker was a high school classmate. I think most people know or assume their stalker is someone they know because it's far more rare to be stalked by someone you've never interacted before. People agree. You should let him connect the dots on his own. I wouldn't even drop hints. I would be like, we should go look through your mom's phone. Yeah. Like, where is it? Like, lead him to water. Totally. So are we ready for the update? Yes. I was here maybe a month ago talking about me suspecting that my mother-in-law was my stalker who tormented me for years. I was trying to get advice about whether or not to tell my husband, who was mourning her. I decided to wait a little, but after venting here, I was sure she was my stalker. I started living like I never had before, with 10-minute walks alone, then 15, then a half hour, and then so on. At first, my husband didn't notice my freedom. Or maybe he did, but he was processing it himself. Last Friday, I told him that I was going out with the girls. Alone? Yes. Want me to drive you there? No need. Are you not afraid anymore? No, my stalker won't bother me again. He kissed me and wished me a nice evening. When I came home around midnight, he was still up, and he said he wanted to talk. He asked me, was my mother your stalker? Yes. He broke down crying. He said he has always suspected her, and even talked to her a couple times about it, and she made him so guilty by accusing her that she accused him of being whipped by me. Oh, this poor man. You know why it's so messed up? Because if you look at it at its surface, it's like, okay, the mother-in-law is tormenting the daughter-in-law, but she's also tormenting her own son. 100%. Because now there's a frantic, upset woman in his life who he's having to spend time and energy energy trying to get to the bottom of who's doing this it's creating chaos in their nuclear family yeah so she's also tormenting her own son in a weird way and then she's like victimizing herself when he brings it to her and then makes him almost coddle her more and be like oh how dare like i'm so sorry you're right how could i accuse you like you love me you wouldn't do that to me yeah like you're choosing your wife over your mother and accusing me that's deranged and he's like oh my god i'm so terrible and she's manipulating him and messing with his emotions i mean listen i have very low standards for men based on my track record the bars but like and i don't know much more about this man but i gotta give praise for him turning out into like the type of man that he is given the situation that we're hearing about with his mom yeah absolutely and the original poster said he apologized for never discussing it with me and never protected me from his family even though he had suspicions honestly i'm not even mad or disappointed if the police couldn't help me i would have done it for him i would have done it for him i would have done it for him help me i don't know how much my husband could have done and i just want to move on and leave this behind we're going to start couples therapy and my husband's planning to tell his family that my mother-in-law was my stalker he's adamant about it and honestly i think it's a good idea my husband has also decided to not attend the headstone setting on his mother's grave oh man that's tough well i think he has the insight to be like oh my god the lies the betrayal she wasn't who she said she was or who i thought she was 100 gosh yeah and there are a couple other comments the love and mutual respect you two share shows so clearly through your story you had the grace to give him time to come to the realization on his own he had the grace to recognize how you're struggling coincided with his mother's presence in your lives it's a beautiful outcome to a deeply troubling experience also what a beautiful comment on reddit the most insightful articulate comment maybe that's ever been on reddit i appreciate it y'all must be two very strong people who have found each other and made the decision to navigate this world as partners here's to a lifetime of love and understanding and the original poster replied to this i wanted so many times to leave the relationship because i couldn't take the stalking any longer but he has been nothing but supportive and kind to me and i love him so much i'm glad we stuck together a happy ending wow do i believe in love again maybe and like happy endings on reddit i know unexpected wow the plot twist i didn't see coming and to not have let the mother-in-law win right and you know confronting people when they're alive like that could have blown up the entire extended family like really it could have been an all-out war yeah and she could have gaslit a million other people to take her side it's almost better that they found out when she was already gone and i do agree like that he was given the time and space to like come to it on his own i think makes the situation like that it makes it more interesting to me and i think it makes it more interesting to me that's why they were able to have such a healthy oh imagine dealing with it imagine he confronted her how like how manipulative and crazy making she would have been yeah it would have been a disaster so damn happy ending for a reddit couple have you ever found like any secrets about your family yes so many secrets oh my gosh well i do have a funny story about so my dad i got him like 23 and me for like a father's day a long time ago and he told me he signed up for it and he opted in to like let family find you and he got a hit for having a son and then you do have a brother so he found a hit for a son and it turns out my dad is an identical twin and no way my so my cousins are technically my genetically half siblings so my male cousin had joined 23 and me and it was him oh okay it was a fake surprise but no there's a lot of secrets in my family i don't even know how to start airing them out well i think also i think that could be said about all families right there's secrets in every family there's just different like varying levels of horrific secrets some are not terrible and some are that you uh kidnapped your mother yeah kidnapped your mother or or maybe was involved in a crime in pakistan um or have many kids i don't know i feel like the kids one is is a very commonly spoken about one and especially with 23 and me i feel like well people didn't even know the amount of people who found out they they had other kids or other siblings of not even knowing whether they do which is insane also terrifying yeah um for men but yeah crazy so crazy well now offline we'll have to unpack all your family secrets yes we will there's more to learn in future episodes of crimes of reddit but if you have uh family secrets that you want to know about you can find them on our website at you can add them in the comments or you can go over to our subreddit crimes of pod anonymously reveal those secrets or not yeah you don't have to be anonymous make your reddit handle your real name don't be a coward don't be a coward mine is definitely not my real name no uh is it how many do you have i had one and now i have that i don't use okay i have one at a time okay i think now it's my real name okay because i'm not a coward you don't hide behind a fake i don't really participate i lurk i'm such a lurker i don't ever maybe uh maybe like in the bachelor subreddit once or twice but i really don't like i'm not in the weeds yeah no oh so corinne what this because i i feel like most of my friends i thought were lurkers and then all of a sudden there was like a post that came up and i saw corinne had commented and i was like excuse you since when are you a commenter because it was like on like a random post and i was very concerned so i i appreciate that you're a lurker i've definitely like popped in when there's misinformation about me on there that's fair but i also i'm like after i do it i'm so mad i'm like you're supposed to be above all this you're not even supposed to bother with defending it like don't see that's allowed validate it i feel like if i found out someone i knew was adding to like the negativity online that would change how i view them but if you're like oh this is pretty i just should really stay away when i've like had a margarita and feeling spicy because then i do insane things and after this we should go get a margarita well we'll unpack all of it thanks for joining us for crimes of reddit a crime house original here at crime house we want to thank each and every one of you for your support if you like what you heard today reach out on all social media at crime house and don't forget to rate review and follow crimes of reddit wherever you get your podcasts your feedback truly makes a difference and if you find a reddit story that you want us to cover leave a comment and maybe we'll feature it in a future episode we'll see you next week bye bye hey our ride's almost here are you ready just grabbing my shoes that's what you said 10 minutes ago i just dropped a video call uploading this giant file on my tablet looking at my watch go bananas with the group chat and of course still lining up tonight's playlist on my phone all at once yep story of my life that's why i switched to t-mobile they have the fastest 5g network okay multitasker i see you honestly i never imagined i could do all this at once it's awesome say no more i'm totally switching my post is taking way too long to upload that's a sign you've got to get t-mobile so many reasons to join t-mobile find yours at t-mobile.com fastest based on analysis by uclo speed test intelligence data of national 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heart thanks for listening to this episode from crime house if you're looking for another show to check out listen to serial killers and murderous minds every monday and thursday dr tristan angles and myself dig into the most chilling murders and uncover what drives them to kill follow serial killers and Murderous Minds, available wherever you listen to podcasts.