Tristan Bowling & Daniel Bridge-Gadd - Leroy Jetson - Episode 960

All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and talk about the brand new merch that we have available at skanksmerch.com. You've been asking for hats and we've got three new styles on the site, including the three for life hat and the classic Legion hat plus four new mugs and all of our classic shirts and hoodies are back in stock as well. Order yours today to get your gear in time for skank fists and for the month of October for every 50 bucks you spend on the site, we're going to throw in a free sticker of one of your favorite designs, head over to skanksmerch.com right now and wrap the show you love. [Music] Oh, I got to take my tolerate, Lewis juice. It's not that easy, easier said than done, bro, it's crazy how hard you don't like drinking it. I do not like the taste of alcohol at all, I hate it. If I didn't have a chaser for these shots, I would just throw up on the table. Hey, everyone, welcome to your favorite podcast to my right is always the great Steve Brenna's easy, baby. To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Lewis J Gomez, thank you, thank you. And I'm big, Jay Okerson, and you know what, I'm just going to wear my eagle shit, I can't wait for him to win. You know what I mean? I'm just going to wear it. I got a lot of cool stuff. I can't just wait from the win all the time. Welcome to the Legion of Skanks, three for life. Yeah. That's right. Can I say, I got a little scared today because I don't even know if they put this on the sheet. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, our RJ Mitt who played Walt Jr. in Breaking Bad, he died. Now I thought he died of cerebral palsy. Yeah. And then I was like, oh shit, cerebral palsy can kill you, cerebral pals is dying before our very eyes. Nope. Nope. But then apparently he just killed himself. He fucking killed himself. Thank God. Thank God he killed himself. So now we got you on suicide watch. Are you feeling CP? You are? Good. Get me a drink. I need a drink. He little bitch. Go pick me up a nice drink. CP, don't kill yourself. Don't be. Don't tap out like a fucking little bitch. Yeah. Just leave dude. So what? No woman will really love you. Yeah. No, so woman will love you. Women are women are retarded. Women will love things like that. They love everyone. Oh yeah, dude. You can't just put two silly bodies on top of each other. No. You're going to haunt you. I guarantee you CP can get a hot chick. Absolutely. That's how dumb women are. You think? That a hot woman can be convinced to fuck CP. Okay. I think we find our next golden ticket contest. Yep. When it date with Sarah Bupal. With Sarah Bupal. I like it. You have to go on a full date with him at Skankfest. Yeah. Then I looked it up for Sarah Bupalzi. It does kill you depending on how severe of Sarah Bupalzi you have. What do you mean? You could shake yourself to death? Some Sarah Bupalzi people die at like 20. He's fine. He's doing great. Yeah. Sarah Bupal. What's your life expectancy? 78. 78. Do you take seven or eight years? There are no normal people have 78. 78. He said 78 or seven or eight. 78. A normal white guy is like 76, dude. That's impossible. Yeah. You're going to outlive me by fucking 15 years. Are those dog years? Dog years. Dog years. Sir, before you're not living in 78, there's no way you're living in 78. No. No. I love it. He might. I think he will. I'll tell you right now, deathpool, we should do a Legion of Skanks world deathpool. Yeah. Some of Paul's very high up on wireless. Well, no, not for me. Put your money with your mouth. It's how about this? You guessed the age that Sarah Bupal lives to and any year after that you've got to fund his life. Oh my god. I don't like that. Pay for all his shit. Make sure he's happy. Fund his life is crazy. Yeah. I'll just give you $1,000. Okay. That's fine. Let's get our amazing guests up here. We have a fun show planned out for you guys. Our guests. Fuck yeah. From the Modern Apes podcast, everybody. I want you to welcome our old friend Tristan Bowling. Woo! And for the first time on Skanks, Daniel Bridge Gad. Tristan, always great to have you. Daniel, welcome to the show. First time on the show. Oh, dude. Fuck yeah. Thank you guys for having me. I appreciate your negative stories. This is awesome. We already dropped an N word. We like you. You're fitting in very nicely. It's so rules. No rules. I got you right. There's no rules on that. Right? I mean, we're not going to reciprocate. But yeah. Let's give it a second. Hold on. I've been on the show before. Give it a second. They will exactly reciprocate. Uh, you're also wearing a Jewish star, which is great. I always think that's great about you. It's the right mix. He's a black Jew, which is insane. Muzzle tough nigga. How we doing? Your mom's Jewish? Yeah. On the good side. Yeah, yeah. My get J-checked way more than I get like black check. 'Cause I don't, you know, I don't, I don't sound the blackest, but like Jews feel free to come up. Whatever you go to the bank, you get J-checked. Yeah. Immediately. I always assume you never get black checked at all. Me? Well, at the grocery store. You know, Jay, I like you a lot. That's right. I would assume you were just completely black. You're black. Oh, yeah. You're black. Yeah. He was going like, oh, I wonder if he's black. You're 100% black. But I was right. All the black people black check you, right? No, I've met black people. Yeah. No, it's great. This is Arizona black people. You're like, this is black. Yeah, well. So you can get. And then you, it's like Toronto black people. Or they're actually white. Well, it looks like you hung out with Tristan enough for him and you get his contagious white garbage beard. Oh, 1000%. The amount of the amount of grapefruit white claws we drink in his grandma's Kia soul driving on my ex and Phoenix. I do. You guys know each other back in. AZ in Arizona. Oh, hell yeah. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Welcome to the show. Yeah. Thank you. Shout out to drinking driving everybody. Dude. And then the loose Arizona P.D. The last place where it's legal. Am I right? Yeah. There's a difference between being a drunk driver and drinking while driving. Yeah. You got to be good. Now, can I ask you what's your Jewish hair for your black hair? More afraid of Sheriff Joe Arrepeo. Yeah. Both Jewish because he was looking for us. And the black side because it would clash with my skin. And also you can't be a black guy wearing pink underwear in tent city. That was the funniest thing in the world when he was that guy. That guy. Sheriff Joe Arrepeo acted like he wasn't surrounded by terrifying people. And he acted like they would never get out. That's what he said. Mary goes goes I make him wear what they're all around them posing. Yeah. He had to go home. Yeah. He had to go home. I didn't do like I put those knees. I make him wear pink like ladies. I think he did the first prison rendition of cats. He made everyone dress up. Dude. Mr. Mustafa Lee's was absolutely fantastic. That is a real, that guy was like porkies. He didn't give a fuck. I don't know who we're talking about. Dude. There's a big sheriff from Arizona. Sheriff Joe. Yeah. And he has a tent city prison. And it's just a bunch of fucking black and Hispanic people. Wasn't it only for DUI people though? They had so many DUI. In Mexicans. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. You think they wouldn't include Mexicans into the fold? I mean, I guess. Well, Mexicans are human DUI. Yeah, yeah. So. You can pull over any Mexican at any time of day and just be like, I'm assuming a DUI. If not, where's your papers, if anything, as you're good to go? Yeah. Show me your papers are blowing this. I'll be up by Mayana. Oh, thank you. Red Bull sugar free. You're ready to live, dude. I'll look. I'm excited about today's show. I'm excited to have you gentlemen on for a fun episode where we fucking couldn't get anybody else. You literally couldn't. We got hit up an hour before the show. We had a, we tried everybody in the comedy world. I knew it was bad when they asked me for gas. Oh, it's tricky Red Bull. You're drone and on. Yeah. They're like, hey, do you know anybody? I haven't been to part of the show for 15 years. That's true. It's been a long time. What a long time. What a long time. So why did this guy kill himself? The guy who played Walt and Breaking Bad. Legs didn't work. I keep going. What's what I'm saying? Cerebral Paul is going to make you feel good that you have such a world of live and you've never been on a hit TV show. I think I had money and stuff. That's fucking crazy. Does this mean that Cerebral Paul is an inch away from killing himself at single moment? No. That's why we were trying to figure out if he obviously says he's doing great. How are you doing great? Cerebral Paul. He lives on the first floor. It's a brownstone. Yeah. Everything's a win. Cerebral Paul is doing great. I saw the nigga backstage. You are under utilizing him. He's walking around with a pimp cane. Seven years to live. That nigga's great. I love Cerebral Paul. Oh yeah. Cerebral Paul fucking rules. I think we should get him laid for Skankfest. I saw him with a date. We should get Cerebral Paul a date. If you guys don't dress him up. up like Pimp Chronicles 2 Cap Williams and have him parade through Skankfest with get him a little tiger or like a stuffed tiger he could get. He should have a fucking Pimp some braero. He needs a fur hat and where else it better place the new Orleans. That's true. And we're going into November when it's not going to be that hot. Get dressed that can up. Sarah Bopal is going to fucking have a heart attack on the first night of Skankfest. Sarah Bopal, have it if we just put you on like the fucking Ferris wheel and never let you get off. Do you restripe days of Ferris wheel that might be a record. It might fix him. Yeah, if you put him on the Gravitron it spins his brain normal. Oh man. What if he just came off like a Captain America super seer and like out of the chamber from the Gravitron everything is fixed. That might work dude. I think it's supposed to straighten you out. It just pins you up against the wall, right? Yeah, the only time he's normal is when he's spinning against the wall on the Gravitron thing. What if it just fucking rocks your palsy at a like a spirit like you just fucking knocks your soul out of you palsy. He sprints around the spinning Gravitron. Yeah, it doesn't work. He's turning back time. How old are you? How old are you Sarah Bopal? 34. 34. I mean that's I didn't know. If you told me 58, I would have been like, all right, you look all right. No way. How old are you? 34. 34. Sarah Bopal, you're going to live a long life. Yeah. Had an RJ mid kill himself. Do we know? Oh yeah. Well, I said sorry. He was probably like he's he probably hung himself, but he started tying the knot five days ago. I was about to say there's no way it wasn't through a mis-tied noose. Yeah, definitely do. Even hanging it. He'd probably fall for chairs about 20 times before he got the ball. He shot himself in the head 11 times. He kept nickin' himself. I'll just glance it. That's five days. Ping, pang, pang, pang, pang. He killed a three year old neighbor. He dropped about 300 pills on the floor before he hit him in his mouth. Yeah, he starved on a long flight of stairs. He just happened. So there's no report yet. It hasn't like six hours ago. Wow, dude. He did what Karatop could not. That's why he was hand, that's why you're handicapable. That is handicapable. Sarah Bopal. As he he. Yup. There's nothing you can't do, dude. But let's see you put together a good prop act, you son of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Sarah Bopal also rescuing fest. I would like you to have a prop act. I want to get you laid. I'd like you to have a full prop routine. Sarah Bopal, how would you kill yourself? That's what I was going to say. That's for witness. And also, how heavy can that cane get? Because I want to put a mallet up. Sarah Bopal, come over here and grab the microphone. Can we get a real fish at the top of that thing? We have our own Sarah Bopal's e-fucking celebrity here. You're going to have to help them there. Sarah Bopal's coming to skank fest, yeah? Sarah Bopal, are you coming to skank fest? I guess so. Oh, wait. Well, this is him being invited right now. We should invite Sarah Bopal. Should be your skank fest. You're my plus one, Sarah Bopal. Thank you. Well, what's the question, how would I-- How would you kill yourself? And also, we should make a bid for him at the festival, because he's not going to make it to and from a hotel every night. That's true. No, yeah, dude. Can we get our own Sarah Bopal shuttle? What? There is literally no way you have to walk when you leave skank fest. You've got to walk at least a quarter mile. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, all right. OK. What did just seasons change behind him? Very possible, dude. Very possible. But we're all just happening behind him. Fucking Grand Theft Auto 6 comes and goes. People are ice skating around him. Yeah. It's a Tarantino movie. Just go. Sir Paul, come on camera over here so we can see. There we go. The people need to see. I hope you're going to be able to see you. Part visual. So, Sir Paul, if you had to kill yourself-- How would I? How would I? How would I? I guess. Drown and pussy? No. Shot in a robbery. When you're going suicide by cop? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'd say by cop. Oh, OK. That's hard as fuck, dude. What a great way. You think a guy with a job can kill me, man? Yeah. Take me alive. Copper. I mean, you would have to be coming directly at him for a cop to shoot you. I know, dude. It would be hard target practice, you know? I was like, nobody's even going to call the cops if he tried to rob me. I'm like, I don't need the cops. I'm going to beat the shit out of the circle. Don't be really fun. If you gave Sir Paul a gun or a knife, you could practice all those fake things of disarming people. Oh, dude. I would pick him up by the ankles and crack him like a whip. Absolutely. Dude, then the knife and his hand becomes your weapon. That would be the most gangster way to go out, though. Just walking out of a fucking robbery, limping, being like, I'm tied to you, niggas, and then just-- Yeah, absolutely. There was a kid that worked at the comedy stories. Not a kidney more, but he had Sir Paul's itude, Davey Westerv, comedian. And he, one time, was working there, the cover booth, opening up on Thanksgiving. And by accident, he hit his body, hit into the, we're getting raw button. And the police came, and they were at the bottom of the stairs. And they, he goes over there, they go, turn around and walk down the stairs backwards. Oh, shit. And he goes, I can't. They go, we're fucking not kidding around you. Walk down the stairs backwards. I'll die. You asked for it, and he just went one step, and then just toppled down the fucking steps. It was awesome, dude. It is awesome. Yeah, I can imagine in his mind was just like, I put time in a pot. He's like, see, see, if I put you at the top of the stairs over there, and I told you to walk down backwards, how many steps are you getting? I couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. So that's the only way. Are you holding on to the railing? Even hold on to the railing? I might be able to do that. Yeah, I think you could. Don't. I think you could. Yeah. I mean, like, in the situation where you're getting guns pointed at you, they're going to think you're reaching for a railing. That's what I'm saying. They said, hold your hands above your head and walk down the stairs backwards. And he's like, I can't. And they go, do it. Have you ever had a gun pointed at you? Yeah. What kind of fucking question is that? Also, yeah. I have, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah. I told the story in my special. I was-- Well, you've told a lot of stories, though. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Some are real, some are fake. That's true. But this one's real. Yeah, I was with my wife before we got married. The long story is I got very-- I was hammered at the store. She picked me up. I said, let's go through the Wendy's drive through. We got there, it closed. Oh, dude, you might as well just ask for gun play. So then I drove, I made a drive to the rock and roll rouse on sunset. And when going inside, this guy pulled up to my hip and yelled at me. And I was like, fuck you. And I went inside. And then I came out, got to my car. She's driving. We pulled out. He pulled up to us with a gun, put it to her head. And was like, say you're-- Say you're-- Yes, say you're sorry, motherfucker. He didn't put a gun to you at all. He put it before you at kids. Yeah, yes. We're not even married yet. And he goes, say you're sorry. And I'm eating this chicken in the bag, like the chicken. That you can't eat it. One second, one second, one second. And I swear to God, she's just looking at me. And I go, do you break a wishbone? No, I said, I go, if babe, if he was going to shoot us, he would have done it already. And I went past eating it right there. You said that right there. What are you fucking cowards? And the fucking dude just pulled the gun back and drove away. Yeah, swear to God. You called his bluff? I was-- I can't believe that woman loves you today. I think she's playing a long con of getting you killed. No, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was-- I was hammered. There's hammer. I mean, you should be-- and I mean this poison, dude. By your wife. Oh, yes, it is. She goes, no. Babe, no. Fuck this guy. He ain't going to do shit. Pull the trigger. Pull the trigger. But also, I'm doing shit. I knew when he was-- he wasn't doing it. He was just trying to be a tough guy. Yeah, he was trying to be a tough guy. You started singing into the barrel like it was karaoke. Like, what the fuck are you talking? He didn't-- You raised children with this woman. I know. I've only got $6 in my wallet. And I ain't giving him shit. I'm not going to lie. I'm telling you, I knew he-- I was hammered. I looked at him and I go, he's not going to kill us. And I said, man, I know he doesn't have the balls to kill you. I go, he would have done it. He would have done it. He would have done it already. I would have been done. I respect your-- I respect your wife, Les. I guess-- As you're lefty, what happened to you? Yeah. Waiter's something. No, she's still gorgeous. Dude, how big is your dick to a gun in the face? Isn't a thing. It was like, there were worse things than that, dude. I guess you'd let me get shot in the face. Yeah. That dick is. Yeah. I mean, also-- Also to answer your question. Yeah, it's not always black people that fucking black check. It's wiggers like this and they go over here. Yeah, it's crazy. Survive, shootouts, and QT parking lots. I mean-- I didn't have a gun. Yeah, you just had your fucking-- My stupidity with me. I guess you're fucking Italian ball bag, dude. Sorry, guys. This fucking moon, you ain't gonna do shit. He wasn't black. You ain't gonna do shit, Leon. You just name him. It wasn't black. I wouldn't have said anything. It was a white guy. It was a white guy. Yeah, he wasn't trying to rob us. He was never going to shoot. It's going to be easy. That guy was pussy. This was a gentleman's disagreement. Yeah, I could tell he was hammered. It was a bar fight that didn't happen in a bar. Well, the trigger, please. I bet if I was by myself, he would have killed me. But then he saw her, and then he's like, no. Dude, putting a gun to your girl's head is such a fucking balls out move. That guy's a bad ass dude. Before I met her, she French kissed one of my friends. Fucking killer, dude. I live with that every day. That bothers me. And when he ate that bother, she fucking French kissed Sam Tripoli once. I never-- I never don't see it when I go to sleep. I see him make weird eye contact backstage places. That bothers me. Shoot him. And when I saw him talk to it, it turned me on. I mean, immediately. Dude, that's crazy. Honestly, take your chick's skydiving or some shit like that. I mean, she-- yeah. I don't think that was-- I don't know. It didn't feel real or dangerous. Because you were hammered and you were eating chicken. Yeah. It's also the sound of gun being pulled on you. That's a gun being pulled on you. You're hoping for brain. You're really hitting a gumpal on me. They held to your wife and you were like, "Fuck you." I don't give a fuck, dude. I remember when you think it's worth it. By association, I would get shot in the head 'cause the bullet will have traveled through her skull and blown out the other side. Is that how you thought about it? You'd be dead because the bullet went through her brain and into you. No, I never thought about it. It would have to be a very, very powerful gun. Dude, that is so fun. I thought about the action. After your chick's head and you go, "Don't give me shit, hun. This guy's bullsh*t. I'm from the street. I know what's up." Not shit. She didn't talk to me for a while. Yeah. I can't believe she married you beyond that. It took her a full week to finish inside of her. Yeah, it took her a full week to finish inside of her. You foster children with this woman. Two of them. Yeah, what? That's crazy. That's crazy. It took her a full week to calm down from crying. She was very upset for a long time. What happens with you? Like, it's like, I hear something downstairs. Honey, grab the bags. There it is. You want her, Jimmy's a pussy? You're a pussy, sir. Yeah. I'm sitting on my life down with a baseball bat. I've got a gun. Everyone thinks that. She's pregnant, too. There's a new life in her stomach that makes her a fucking bitch. Just know if you get through her, I have a gun. I have a gun. She has a bat only. I've never bought a gun for that reason. Because I think that that. You'll probably see your wife. No. She'll kill me. She'll kill you. Yeah. She's going to be sitting on your chest crying. Yeah, exactly. And who's going to really be like, oh, I didn't deserve it. Daniel, Daniel, were you part of Mitzvah? No, I dropped out in like 12 and a half, because football got too serious. That's a respectful reason, a respectable reason. I stopped because I was like school on Sunday. And we're reading backwards. I'm out. You know what got me out of it? They told me, my friends who got part of Mitzvah were like, no, it's the best. You got to do it because your family gives you a bunch of money, and then you can buy your first car with that or whatever. And then that immediately when they told me that, I went, oh, my family aren't those kind of Jews. My father's no one's got any fucking money, so I was like, so I didn't waste my time doing it. Wait, what do you mean by reading backwards? Are you reading like Jewish manga? No, Jewish letter. Jewish. Is that what the time is? Jewish writing is right to left. They're demons. They read backwards. Yeah. And you can't see, you can't see left to right with horns. Yeah. Yeah, if you read the Bible backwards, you'll invoke Satan. It's like flipping and reversing. Yeah. It's here, but you made his amp, yep. You like that? Yeah, yeah. That's very correct. It's just, it's Christian fanfiction. It's like listening to a Jewish pre-sounding backwards and doing gay shit. The horns read it backwards. I didn't know that I was getting Bar Mitzvah watching the Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd starts out of the moon. Comes to find out. Yeah, you were being Bar Mitzvah. Your family just didn't give you any money. Yeah. No, I came from no Jews with money. There was more biker gang parties than Jewish things in my family. I was the other way. I met my mom remarried when I was like married for the first time. When I was like six to five foot six white dudes, we were more like, he's from Regina in New Mexico. Dude, he felt like you were his blind side his whole life. I made it. Do you want it? When you fucking stop doing the thing for football, he was like, there we go. There we fucking go. There it is. He pulled, do you know the odds on that? He probably corn rode your hair. He was so excited to have a black son opposite opposite. He would be, I have dreads now because when we try to give you a blow out, he'd give you like a fucking Malcolm X potato con kind of who be like, these white dudes are going to come to the house. I need to see you be respectable. I was like, I don't, I pronounce English correctly. They're not going to like, the hair is not going to stop there, you know, and then eventually I think I had a buzz cut for a real peanut head and I think I think that's the way though. I'm going to have my, my kid's going to have a peanut head. You want a peanut? Do you, are you worried that your child being only a quarter black? If it's a boy, he might not have a big dick. And what I'm wondering is, yeah, what I'm wondering is, they're all going to be circumcised if that's your question. No, what I'm wondering is how you knew he had a white wife. You said a quarter black. I didn't know that. You're correct. He does? Are you asking why I knew he had a white wife? Yeah, how you knew he had a white wife. Okay, listen, I don't want to say I'm a genius, but he's black. (audience laughing) - Go for the questions, your honor. - Yeah, there may be. - He's black and he's an entertainment. So, you know, I very least it's a cute face fat white chick, but probably just a hot white chick. - Not fat. - Yeah. - X, X islantic soccer, white, well white white. You know what I'm talking about? - Yep. Listen, she loves black dick, so she's gonna fatten up. You gotta stay on top of that. That's your half black job. I try to explain that to her father every year at Hanukkah and he doesn't get why I'm there for either reason. (laughing) - It's truly a beautiful dichotomy. - I love it. I like Daniel, a Jewish black guy. I didn't knew this guy even existed. - With a quarter black son, that's amazing. - I know. - I said me to have a junior. - Oh, you have a son? - No, it's a cat. - I've been with this problem. - Your cat's a quarter white? That's pretty cool. - Man, that's amazing. - You should get a Columbia house subscription, it's name. - I put a shycy on her recently. - I try to make a Columbia house reference to 24 year old boys, this is the same, yeah. - Buddy, when I did it, I fucking, I was like, what, shut the fuck up, Ohkerson? What are you doing? Here you go again, don't idea. Hey, that's like Christian Slater's pump up the volume. - Do you know Columbia houses? Is that, is that what, Paul Wall wrap? - Yup, it is, yeah. Next subject. (laughing) Do you know Columbia houses? - I thought it's where, it was a house that says, okay. No, you get one CD, you buy one CD, you get five or 10 sometimes CD. - For a penny. - Listen, sometimes we've-- - I've never existed without an iPod in my life. - Before iPhones, sometimes if you scotch tape the penny to a postcard in the TV guide that showed up at your house, you would get 10 free CDs. Now what you don't realize was, they're massacring your credit. But every month they will continue to sell you a CD you haven't asked for. - Yeah, and then eventually you learn, all right. - All right, my credit is destroyed. But you know whose credit doesn't matter? - My cat. - My cat. - Yup, yes, that's Louis and yes. - That's what you do, bitch. - But you live with your cat. - To sign up. - To its the same address, it fits. - It's pretty much like, I was like, I was like, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait And there was a post card that's in a TV guy. Rub it on yourself free sample, free sample. Yep. Photo by Karl Lagerfeld. So you're rubbing the TV guy on you? Yes. So the piece came out. So there's an off chance a girl at a date can say, hey, do you smell like the TV guy? Yes. Not. Not unless she got it first. If she gets you pretty quick, if she also, it seems like everyone is getting this TV guy. A lot of people were. That's why guys, they pull the words off like silly buddy, so you'll have like words printed on your heart. Tristan, there was a time where an idiot would show up at your fucking door and somehow convince your mom to buy magazine subscription, she doesn't want. Yeah. TV guy, if you flip further back, had a little post card in it with really small writing on it that had every CD you've ever heard of in your life listed on them with a little check box. And they said, if you sent us a penny, we're going to send you 10 CDs you pick. But then there's also a writing that says, after that, we're going to send you a CD or two a month and you're going to be charged whatever per month. But you didn't even get to that one because you're so excited about the 10 CDs per month. You can't believe. So you get this look. There it is. Yep. Oh my God. And you would pick and you would send your penny and you get your 10 CDs and you- And nobody- Who wants Daniel at penny? And nobody- I don't like this. I don't like the transactions of a man. I don't even care about the future because you're like, by the time I'm 27, this is over. Yeah. Is this the same scheme kid's-bop ran? No, no. Kid's-bop wasn't a scam. That was just- That was the weirdest thing ever. There's going to be eventually a pedophilia documentary about what they did with kids- With kids- We're about Columbia house. Same with 1877 cards for kids. Well, that's a Jewish propaganda. You hear that? No. No, I knew about that, but there's going to be a good documentary. That's already exposed. Yeah. Cars for kids is to send Jewish kids for birthright or other Jewish causes. That was the only charity I was donating my body to after death. Damn, dude. You gave your cadaver to cars for kids? I did. Give property. Hey, you want to feel like a mafia guy? We'll sell this car with a dead body in the trunk. Yeah, it turns out I'm an anti-Palestinian scarecrow. So the idea is that you donate your car and it's supposed to be for kids, but it's really just for Jewish kids to go to- I know the Jewish plot. Yeah, I used to hear the commercial. Oh, that's a fury. 1-8-7-7-7 cars for kids. By the tone in key. 1-8-8-8 cars for kids. By the tone in cadence and the lack of rhythm and the song, we should know that it was Jewish propaganda. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to ask the question. Cars for kids, far kids, far cars for kids, far cars for kids. - Oh my God! - Caught for kids! - Caught for kids! - They're only going to Tel Aviv! (audience applauds) - I don't wanna ask a question, but I'll. I mean, the Jews, the Jews are kids too, you know? - Sure, because the money's going down. - Caught for Jewish kids. - Only Jewish kids. - That was crazy. - They didn't tell us. - Hold on, are you defending this? - Well, I mean, you know. - That's fucking insane. - You know what, I've heard about Birthright. - If you went to Birthright. - I get hit twice a week. - Dude, you would be fucking honest to God, your dick would have prune fingers. - It'd be better than a black guy in China. I've fought about it. - 100%. If you go and you're like, "My mom is Jewish," which is the good one, that's the one that matters. - Which is what counts. - Do you, Ari Shafir, who looks like a fucking. Like, he looks like a homeless person who's already decaying. - It's over for me. - It's over for me. - If they find a cure, he can't be brought back. - He's eternally old, but no one knows how old he is. - That's harder than you think. - He's one of the first people to tell me. - Birthright is just a fuck fest. - Yeah, that's what they said. - You would. - You would never. - How would they know? - Can't I just say that I'm Jewish? - Yes! - What do you mean? - They're not letting you in. - Why would they let me out? - You're gonna have to pay for on your own. - No, I'm Jewish, no way, I'm not doing that. - Oh, yeah, I can't afford that. - That's the first test, yeah, yeah. - Already. - The first test is when they ask you, will you pay for birthright? You say no, and they're like, you've passed. - The first question they go, "How much would you pay for this?" And you went, "Is there a coupon?" And they go, "Okay, all right." - "All right." - "All right, Kimisabi." - "How would they know?" - "They're not checking my family history." - Oh, what are you talking about? They're gonna be like, "Drink this diet cola." And then they're gonna fucking run your DNA, bro. - Yeah. - That's what they want you to do over there. Well, the main goal is to get you to stay over there. They're gonna honeypot you with a bunch of fucking t-moog alga does. - Hop in a gila, doggy. - But, buddy, they do the leather. They're gonna fake your. - We can try weather, dude. We can see through your bullshit. - Yeah. - Then you don't wanna see what happens if you get caught. - Oh, my God. - Haught on a fake fucking rum springer. What is it? - No, you're right. - Yeah, dude. - It's all right. - You are right. - A fake birthright. - You're fucked up. - You're cooked. - Mossad. - I would never be in Hollywood. - I would love an Israeli rum springer. - When they come over here and they're just like, "What's going on?" And I'm just like fucking. - Who the fuck are you? - Fuck you, daddy. I'm doing circumcision reversal. - All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Body Brain Coffee for supporting the show. It's my company. It's taking the world by storm. A lot of these mushroom coffees don't taste good. See if you would tell me how much you hate the taste of most mushroom coffees. - I don't like coffee at all, really, too much. But the Body Brain Coffee gives me everything I want. - Yeah. - Delicious taste. - Rock hard boner. - Rock hard boner. - It does help with the boner. - A clear brain. - A clear brain. - Better decision making skills. - With your big hard boner. - Your brain is a rock hard. - Yup. - Have a transparent brain. - And I need better decision making skills. - Look, it's got adaptogens into the TrumpExplained and right into real premium freeze-ride Colombian coffee. We just launched a creamer as well, which is a completely different set of the TrumpEx and adaptogens. Jay, you were telling me how much you hate taking pills every morning. - I hate it. - Yup. - That's what you do when you have stage 3, can't you? - Can I put the creamer in a milkshake? - Yeah, you can. - All right, awesome. - You could blend the creamer and the coffee together. You could use the creamer with different coffees. Here's what we're going to do. If you want to try them both out right now, go to BodyBrainCoffee.com. And get both. Get the creamer and the coffee together. When you check out, use the promo code LOSGift. We're going to save you 10% on the creamer and coffee. Plus, we're going to give you a free gift, either the mug, the Body Brain Coffee mug, or the milk for authors. You could blend your Body Brain Coffee and creamer together. - Full free. - You're giving all this away. Do you still thirsty? - I know. BodyBrainCoffee.com is the website. Use that promo code LOSGift to save 10% and get a free gift. All right, guys, let's take a quick moment to thank ultra pouches for supporting the show. Love ultra pouches, okay? Because I'm jealous. Well, people are pouching. I feel left out without a half due. Because I don't want the nicotine. I don't want the caffeine. But what I do want is I want new tropics and vitamins in a nice little pouch that tastes great as well. I take my tropicals with me everywhere I go. They genuinely will make. See, you were telling me how you wanted more of a clear brain recently. - Always, yeah. - Yeah. Well, they have Apple GPC, which clears your brain. Look, a motherfucker. - Oh my God, it's weird brain. - It's weird brain. - Yeah, it's weird brain. It's great for athletes, runners, anyone just trying to live a little bit cleaner. And I know you are. And they are the ultimate guilt-free pouch. Delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. And new customers for ultra can use the code Legion to say 15% off at takeultra.com. That's takeultra.com, 15% off with code Legion. Hey, what's up, Skanks? I want to take a second to thank brunch workwear. Brunt workwear, everyone. They have the best workwear out there. I'm wearing my brunt hoodie right now. - Your hat. - Oh, really nice, dude. Built for real tradesmen on any job site. Brunt is dedicated to keeping workers comfortable and safe on the job. And it all starts with their legendary work boots. The work boots are the best. I use the work boots outside, cleaning up crap from the storm of this past weekend. They're comfortable. They keep you waterproof, so they keep you dry. They're awesome. - They don't keep the women dry, though, because when they see-- - No, they look good. - No, when they see me in my boots, they get wet. - Oh, that's great. - That's great. - Thanks. - And listen, if they're not perfect, you send them back for a full refund. That's 100% risk-free trial. Brunt was tired of workwear brands out there cutting corners, so you work too hard to be stuck in an uncomfortable boot that don't hold up, so Brunt builds something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and build for any job site. And listen to this. For a limited time, Legion of Skank fans get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code Legion @Checkout. Just head to BruntWorkwear.com. Use the code Legion and you are Gina G. Good to go. And after your order, they'll ask what you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor, and please tell them Legion of Skank sent you. Let's get back into it. - Can we talk about this? - No, no, no. - No, I want to-- - Let's talk about this Dodgers fan. - I love these things. They're happening more and more. It's like a story where somebody will like catch a ball and not give it to a kid. - Is it maybe living in a life where we know famous people enough that like memorabilia seems so weird to fucking like hang on to for other people's accomplishments? Do you know what I'm saying? If I caught a home run ball from a world series and there was a kid next to me who was reaching out for it, I wouldn't think for two seconds where I go, "Here you go, kids." - Is that what you're gonna do? - Of course, this is the greatest moment of your life. - That little shit to nerd it? - That's right, you spike it into his forehead and claim what is yours. - Daniel, those dreadlocks are not as Jewish as you come off. - I start kissing his mom. - Fuck yeah, dude, Frencher. Teach her a lesson. - You want this ball right underneath? - Yeah, home run ball. It's not just like memorabilia. It's like a moment. Like you're a part of something. - Why? But give it to the fucking kid. Dude, you're an adult. - Yeah, sure. Yes, I agree. I wouldn't give a shit out of the home run ball. But I also am not going like, "You should give it to that kid." That kid needs to learn a lesson, which is to grow up in a bigger hands. - If Connor McGregor's retirement fight, he threw his fucking mouthpiece into the crowd. - Ew. - And there's a little kid. - Wait, worse. - Ew. - Okay, he throws his glove. - I think that's bad. You don't wanna have the best day of your life at seven. - It throws his jaw strap into the crowd. - Yeah. - Sure, he pulls his jaw strap up and you get to smell his fucking fat eyelid. - It comes into his hand. - Yeah. - He flicks it into the crowd. - Yeah, yeah. The cookies are all done on stage. - The bucacchi is definitely split right between you and his little kid. You stick your face out there to completely get soaked, to get your face totally soaked. - And you're a kid. - And this kid can't even get a little drip. - You're not gonna spit something into his mouth. - You're not gonna fucking feltch this kid even a little bit of fucking jizz. - What I'm saying? - You got to kill both fucking plants. - You feel later. - You feel a satisfactory amount on your face. - Yeah. - And you're saying, "Why not share it with the man?" - Yeah, fucking, then move out of the way. Dude, you're fucking covered. Dude, this guy's blastin' ropes. - Yeah, no, he's been drinking celery juice. - He's been on a cleanse. - That guy's doing his thing. Dude, absolutely celery juice and all. - Three days of celery juice. Dude, which is fucking, you might be loading the chamber. - I know. - That's a certain PSI. - So this guy catches the ball. He's a Dodgers fan. But then the other of the kids were in a brave shirt. It's the opposing team, right? - Okay, hang on. That means a lot to me. So then this guy, hold on. Pause it. This is a young kid. - Who hit the homerun? Well, first of all, he's wearing glasses that have to attach to his head, so he's definitely retarded. - Yeah. So before we should consider that, that this guy can't have glasses in life. - And look at the slant of his eyes. - Yeah, you know, this kid's-- - He may be Chinese. - He's young. - It's definitely not Asian, but he's retarded. - Isn't it sad that if you're just a regular white guy and you're retarded, you might also be Chinese? - Yeah. - He might be Japanese-Chinese. Let's not rule that out. - No, he's not Japanese or Chinese. - No, he definitely played joke and go peepee in your coat. - But also, I never see-- I saw this video and he doesn't say, "I'm so sorry." - Okay. - We have to take-- - Maybe not. Maybe he's half Asian. On his down syndrome side. - I mean, this guy's adrenaline has to be pumped, by the way, the guy behind him can't pull out what's happening. The guy behind him's like, "Oh, Christ. The retarded guy is going to get judged for not giving a ball to a child." The retarded guy caught it? - Is that recorded? - Yeah. This is not an adult catching a ball. This is literally a retarded person, catching a ball. I think so. And not giving a new kid a retarded person equals a kid. Yeah. This is above the level of that kid. And let's keep in mind. Let's see the three people beside him agreeing with him. They all have a straight up clip of tall boys, of course, lights. Absolutely. These three, these two guys are actual Dodgers fans who I understand want to see this kid sad. But they're also rooting for a retard which you could never get mad at. He's got QC's on. Is that to correct Pigeon Toe? No. Let's play the video. That's a sure shit. That's a tell for otter. I'm not giving a new kid. I'm giving a pass. I'm not giving a pass. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't know. Shit. I didn't know it was a fucking-- I didn't know it was an AI fucking cutest kid ever. God. No, no, no, that kid clearly cut his bangs himself. Fuck that kid. He doesn't deserve a ball. Is that Shiver Jones' grandson? Oh my god. The cutest kid that's ever since. His mom gave us a cute boy haircut that morning. That's crazy. And look at the grandmother too looking at him like that's my baby right there. Exactly his grandmother behind the passenger. It would be my dream to have a ball from a baseball game. And the guy up, you know what I'm saying? Because you're retarded and all. The guy up in the other bright. It's like that retard, better give my grandson that ball. I'll tell you that right now. I like you think this family was set so staggered, isn't it? Oh my god. His grandpa's two rows behind. Come on, we can't even sit with the boy. Give him the ball. Dude, you can't teach this level of acting. It's like don't smile, kid, but don't pout. Just be you. And he's like, OK, I got the ball. Don't let him see you cry. This is amazing. How do we know this is an industry plan? I hope it is. This kid doesn't even know. He doesn't even know. This kid's like, fuck that. I'm texting everyone. I'm going to say something. Let me tell you something. This kid, this kid's nowhere near the fucking ball. Yeah. You can't get a fuck this kid. Foss is very cute, but fuck this kid. This kid is maybe the most adorable kid. And by the way, from this video, I bet he's going to get a fucking comar show. And he's going to be fine. 100%. What the fuck is this kid? Send him to Israel to get his dick sucked. Yeah, dude. Listen, who had the home run, the Dodgers? Yeah, he's a race fan. Dodgers, the home run? He's a race fan. Is that a little home run, do we know? Firstly, it was a foul ball. It was a foul ball. Oh, yeah. But it's by who? Oh, they didn't say who hit the foul ball, but it is the playoffs right now. No, no, I don't care. But it doesn't matter. What's the foul ball? That's big. If it's a brave home run, honestly, a foul ball. It was a foul ball. It was a foul ball. It was a foul ball. It was a brave foul ball. A foul ball compared to a home run. Like what? A brave foul ball. You give it to the kid. Who gives a shit about a foul ball? End of story. I guess that change is a little bit. You might have to just give it to the kid. It doesn't change it for me for a long time. For me, me and power good people, you give it to the kid, a brave, let me tell you something. If I caught a fucking World Series home run from the opposite team, I would peg it at the center of the field. I would find the person wearing a thing and try to hit him in the knee with the ball. What if you guys take this thing and get the fuck out of my life? Are you crazy? What if you guys had a home run, a game winning home run ball hit at you, and then you dropped it? How would you feel about that? Me? Yeah. Is it my team? Yeah. Is it my team? The mighty ducks? It's my team. There's a strong chance you're going to have me on record saying the end word out loud. Because I did that. But it wouldn't be added to black person. It would just be like, that's the frustration level I've hit where I guess going to scream the worst things. It just has to come out. Yeah. You've never been to the bottom of the 11th inning sometimes and the nigga just fucking strikes out on three pulls. Get the fuck out of here, dude. I went to a Yankee game earlier this year and it was the eighth inning and we were down too long. How many times did you scream it? I didn't yell that. Thank God. I was, Ari had asked me what the, what, one of the symbols up at the scoreboard meant and as the guy hit the ball, it was a home run right at me. I went to catch it and I fucking hit my hand and I dropped it in the guy next to me. Why? Yes. The guy next to me fucking shot right across, hit him and then he just kept it and I was like, that's fair play, dude. That is fair play. But I, of course. But it was a home run ball. I said, do you have the picture? If he gave it to the ball to you, you should be so embarrassed. Here you go. Here you go. You fucking goofed off. Clearly you have cerebral palsy. Yeah. That thing was right in your club. Did you drop it? If a man gave you a ball and you're another man with this, you have to send it to the, look it. God damn it. Why do you put this, why do you have this in the world, you look like you've never called a ball before. I was using my jersey, I'll send the picture but I was using my jersey to try to make a myth. But you didn't have a myth. No, I didn't have a glove. Just bear handed it. All right. Yeah, you should have bear handed it. It'd be the man that, if you were a bear handed it at worst case scenario would have fallen right in front of you. Yeah. The man that raised two sons, bear hand that should do. Honestly, the man who didn't care about your son lost respect for you. It wasn't when you let their mom get held at gunpoint and told the guy, shoot pussy, shoot pussy. You wanted that bad? I don't tell you, I don't have a lot of money but if you want to tend fate, I don't say sorry to scumbags. I do think there has to be a middle ground. If you catch the ball and you don't give it to a kid, you can't just stay for the last three innings. You got to leave. You got to get the fuck out of there. Absolutely, dude. Not the kid. Absolutely. You know that one, yeah. That's the one. Again, I think the guy who caused retarded so all bets are off. Oh, I would have done, I would have done the thing I don't think you wanted a kid. Psych. I would have kept on doing. Yeah. My full of hardships. You're making your heart broken. Your girl, your girl you love is going to fuck your friend. Santa's not real. And I'm keeping this balls. Idiot. Santa's not real. What? Is the first thing you bring it to him? Yeah. So you know Santa's not real. Yeah. That's actually your dad, though. Steve, this was you when you dropped the ball. No, you got to pick. This was you. Jimny Christmas. This is how that guy saw you. I was so fucking sad. Like dude, you pick that kid up by his head and scream into his face truth. You go, you go, you just fucking learned life, dude. Yeah, foul ball. You got to get into the game. Did they, did they like, that kid was like called and like back into the locker room, right? Got to like shower with the team or whatever. Yeah. What they do? What's up with they do? Hey kid, you like what? Hey kid. You like movies about Gladiators? Yeah. You want me in the club? Do you ever see a grown man's locker room? Yeah. You're hung around the men's locker room and put it backstage and what? Have you ever felt the strength of a man? Yep. Do you mind? I mean, I say a question, Timmy. Do you know what professional athleticism feels like, son? Do you know what a spit roast means? Do you get a double-on-tondra? Yeah. See the torque on these amies? Do you mind where are you, does that? There have been no follow-up gifts or team invitations since this was reported. Oh, this poor kid brought you. Jesus Christ. Oh, the team didn't even send them some shit. Can I tell you something? This kid, this is, let me, I thought hearing the story. I didn't see any of it. I was just like, of course, you go like, what a piece of shit the guy is. The guy's retarded. For sure. He's not, the kid was, and I'm going to say where he has that ball, that kid, did we see the shot? Did it hit the kid and then fucking fall in the front row? No. That kid's not near. I don't understand why you just catch the ball. He's given to the closest fucking cute kid that's insane. I really don't think the man who got it is retarded. You're wrong. I feel like he's-- No, don't wear his glasses like that, and the game he's not playing the game. He's not playing the game. What? There's no reason we have so much athletic gear wrong. What I fear that you're misconstruing is him having wrap around kind of glasses. He's also wearing a headband that's going into the glasses. I don't think he has a back part on those glasses. You're wrong. I promise. Well, get earlier in the thing I probably saw, those glasses have a strap on the back. It does not appear to be so. And fuck. Fuck. It's a man with headband on who's also wearing glasses because he needs it. All right, but he's wearing a headband. He's not playing in the game and look at his face. Why are his eyebrows-- That's just a mess. That's just a mess. Who's vaguely Taiwanese. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, he's not Taiwanese. His eye-- Guys, look at his eyebrows. This guy was a full intelligence and completely functional brain. I'm telling you, where he's sitting, where that kid is sitting, he owes nothing to that kid. I thought, kid was going to be sitting next to him or right behind him and then you just go, here you go, kid. Especially if it's the kid's team. That kid is nowhere near his vicinity of having to have responsibility for. No, I think you're responsible for about four behind you and three down. You're responsible for nothing. If you're responsible, you want the ball. I wouldn't give a shit. I just give it to the kid. No, for sure, but I'm telling you, I think if it's not a thing, if it's your team and you caught a shit's hair and sleep right. So by understanding, I'm saying this guy does. The fact that it's a foul ball from the other team, you give it up. But also, I don't know why that kid particularly, because he's fucking 17 seats away. Now, if this guy had his head on a swivel, there's a blonde girl, too, who looks very impressed by the fact that he has a ball. He could have flipped her right over there to her and said he's just going to-- Three targets don't understand signals, bro. Why are we so crazy to give it to some bitch instead? That guy's definitely got a weird fucking huge hammer of it, though. I would give it. The only person I would give my ball to would be Steve Raneseese. Thank you so much, dude. I appreciate that. I won't be involved. But I appreciate it. Because you look like a lady when you missed it. Yeah. I don't know why the picture's not sending, because if it hits your hand, you got to catch it. That's the rules, dude. That's the NFL rules. Let's do some plugs real quick. We have a lot of fun things to talk about on today's show. Daniel, what do you plug in, my friend? Oh, let's see here. December 17th, a mic drop in Phoenix, Arizona, and then the 20th in last in Seattle. Please come out. Wouldn't that be fun? A couple of Husky fans. Five few ticks. Appreciate you. And the moderators podcast with me and the Vampire King over. Tristan. Hey, hello. I'm going to be doing some-- I'm going to be doing co-headlines. show November 7th at in Columbus, Ohio at the comedy attic in the wall with room with me and Layla Engels. It's going to be a lot of fun. Come out by tickets and also the bar napes and cock fight. Those are the two podcasts I do. Luis, go subscribe to Gas Digital. Get the bonus show we do. The three of us 15 years running strong three-for-life. We do a bonus show that only goes to subscribers for gas digital. Plus you get this podcast at free and uncensored with pre-release. The on-demand library 900 episodes deep plus thousands of hours of content exclusively for gas digital subscribers. Gas Digital.com use the promo code LOS. Come see me on the road. Luis of Skanks.com is the website. I'm going to be in North Charleston, South Carolina October 22nd to 24th. We're going to be in the comedy store doing story wars, me and Big J and a bunch of other great comics on November 4th and 5th. Skankfest right after that. Pekebsy, Kempe Florida for New Year's Eve. Yeah, get all those tickets at Luisofskanks.com and thank you for being American. Oh, Steve, anything to say to Americans? Yeah, I lost fantasy football last week to a guy. Do another guy who killed himself almost? No, fake Andy Reid. That son of a bitch. That's a guy that does Andy Reid. He does messages like Andy Reid. Oh, really? That's not important. He was on your fan. I'm going to get back this week. That's hilarious, dude. Thank you to people that came in Atlanta. That was, I mean, I was only seven days notice, but I had a lot of Skanks fans come to Atlanta. So thank you very much. And Steve Renazizzi.com for more tickets. I'm hitting Cleveland. Hilarities. Then punchline and Irving, Texas. Got the mothership. I got Vinnie's. I'm going to add more dates soon. So Steve Renazizzi.com for tickets. Thank you. Oh yeah, bigjcomedy.com for all my dates. Created the app for a live tour happening right now with dates coming up Colorado this weekend. Denver coming back to the comedy works downtown, comedy The Carlson Rochester after that. Then I'll be the comedy mothership. All weekend after we do our story wars. Of course, I'm doing the kill Tony that Monday. If you're in town, comedy store for Story Wars, pray improv right after that. Skankfest. The Berk Chrysher, uh, fully loaded crews. Louisville comedy club. I'm going straight through pretty much every weekend until the summer. That's how I do it. Like an idiot. Uh, but I'll be the sitting there you for sure. Some fun announcements coming up. Listen to the bond fire five days of week faction talk series six and one or three with me in the great Robert Kelly. And of course, Story Wars right here on gas digital network. We should get to some. We have to finish this whole big contest. Sure. The golden ticket has to happen. We do it for a time crunch. We have the greatest contest going ever right now before our get cerebral Paul laid contest. Yeah. Which starts next week. Lots of contests. Um, which said lots of contests. So many contests. We've got to give golden tickets out. Um, this golden ticket contest is getting pretty heated up. It took up a whole episode one night. We had no idea that was coming. It is the golden ticket contest for best tits. Men only. Yep. We received our final batch. After this will be the finals. Yeah. How many we have tonight? Mike, how many tits do we have? I mean, we had too many to put, but I narrowed it down to 15. Oh my god. Yeah. Just not go up everyone. We're not going to be able to finish up tonight. We're going to have to finish. There's so many. Seriously, this and I'd like to say this. This is the narrative down to 15. This town. This ends a submission. People do not send me people you think you want to enter yourself. Okay. You can't enter other people. It's a redirect messages of men's tits. It's called revenge porn. You can't do it. All right. God almighty. Here we go. He's better be good. This first one. This is Ben. Oh, man. God. Fuck. Holy cow. That's mostly it. Yeah. God almighty. Most of that is back. What? That is his back is coming around to the front. Yep. It is. It is. I don't think it's like the Civil War. It's back in his front. They're meeting. Absolutely, dude. That's making me fucking sick. It looks like it looks like a cartoon of a whistling penis. I don't want to put it in flu. If the if the mouth was on the shaft and it was the undershadow of the dickhead, it looks like a whistling penis. You can put a full deck of cards like in between from the back to the front. I will say happy for the talent portion. Whatever it is. If it's holding something, this guy is a heavy contender. Oh, this guy can hold about 14 CDs. Yeah. I mean, he could put the whole. The POV is great. That is so good, dude. I can tell you something. Dirty sick. From that angle. That angle, dude. If you reached around from that angle and felt that tit, I'm holding a woman's tit for sure. I can tell you by looking at the sink drain. He doesn't have proper gum health. That's a little bit of blood in there. There's a little bit of blood. This guy, this guy. That's not come on the sink. Definitely. This guy, these tits are not nice. What? Oh, not nice. They're disgusting. That's disgusting. Yes. That is. But come on. That's not bad, dude. That's not bad looking. Damn, you really can't see your dick, huh? When I guess like that? No. Oh, this guy's going to actual cartoon. He's got a cartoon, Peter Griffin body. If that guy took his pants off right now, you wouldn't see his penis. He couldn't see the bottom half of his body. But you're not looking for that. We're talking about those succulent yams, dude. Look at those bitches. It's like my grandmas. These are not nice tits. If these were in a woman, you would say, ew, these are disgusting tits. That's right. I'm going to take the gut out. We're just going to take the gut out. No, not a Photoshopped the gut in your mind. I don't have the chest hair. It was there. But I jiggled worse tits from above. That guts. That's awful. That's the tip of that's the shot. Well, we got it. Listen. All right. Yes, you can see other anger. I'm observing my judgment till the end of this round. The first photo is like when you see the girl in person and then the second photo is like what she sends you. There's a thing where I realize I'll see when I know they're for sure on the next round in my mind. This would be a maybe because that above shot is right. This is disgusting. It's deplorable. So let me explain this to our guests. The idea is that if these tits were on a woman, they would be nice tits. That's what the best tits mean. We figured that out the first round. Yeah. So that's what we're looking at. I don't believe that those would be nice tits if they were on a woman. It's a different shot. If you just gave me those tits from above, mine is hair. I'd go, I've seen worse tits. It's not a definite move on. It's they're in the pile. They're in the pile. And I'm judging it if I was in prison and you send me a picture of those tits, could I jerk off to them? That's good. Well, that looks a bunch more tits. We have a lot of them. That's Steve's black side coming through. Yeah, I didn't know the fucking tiktor scale. Whatever you got. Tiktor scale. All right. Oh my god. Cerebral pause. Stop thinking about how lonely you are and grab me another neutral. Please. You have so much reason to live. Can you grab me a porony too? Thank you. Cerebral Paul, you're going to get laid a skank fest if it kills me. And it might because I might kill myself after I let you have sex with me because I promise you this. I that much want to come through for you that I will let you have gay sex with me so you can finish with somebody. And then I'm going to kill myself. So hold on. All right. Go to the next one. Oh, I guess you don't care about your friend Lewis. All right. This is Jacob. Oh, I don't like this. I like that he's showing face. Love that he said. I do. It's not rummage. Bringer as we speak. Yeah. Also go hard to appreciate this guy works hard. I want to I I yes, I like the fact that he's confident enough to say I want you to see my face. This guy looks like shipwrecked Sam talent. So he looks like Sam. My name's Jake. This is my submission for best man tits for the Lichens gang school ticket. That shirt is wrinkly. Fuck. Oh, can I take something when somebody from a shoulder tense by just lifting their shirt up. It's particularly tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't take their shirt off but they like they're like a girl's gone wild. Yeah. Talking it under like she's thinking about what her dad's going to think. Guys, I'm still. But do you see this? It looks like it looks like his body looks like if Kermit the frog was kind of angry. Like Kermit the frog's a little angry. Like he's disappointed in you, right? It's like a disappointed Kermit the frog. Do you see it? Do you guys see it? Disappointed Kermit the frog? We all know what the eyes are. So just follow the eyes. Yep. A disappointed Kermit. It's not a easy being. Right now about like three, four years. So I've lost weight. So they're not as like big as it used to be. But like that's better. That's better right there. Just are. Yeah. Let me put a circle right around the tits just like that. Those are nice tits. Those are actually nice tits. I'm gonna give the middle of that body in those hips and I'm telling you if he was a fucking black or Hispanic woman He could be with a famous rapper The hips are insane if he pushes them together like this. He's a scar Why didn't I didn't notice his hips his hips are big? I think No, he gets pregnant, but if he put if he put a course set in the middle of all that dude I'm telling you a famous black rapper would give him the time Yeah, yeah, yeah, I fucking chase him because with the right lighting. Yeah, what are you doing after this a man with child birthing hips? Do you have to see the rest of his body those tips? By the way if that was a hundred and twenty pound chick those are sick, dude. I mean this is crazy Sir, do you don't have to do this pull your shirt down? Fucking I have to give you something Down - that's right. I don't know where his cocks at In order for me to do this my tips would have to be so nice I'd have to be a show what's going on that he He's not gonna win. I'd love to give him a fucking care package But I don't know if we have merchant his weird sides. Yeah, this guy's built like a fucking brute action figure This is man, you guys don't have busty. It's not that it's bad tits But also like the way squeeze it like that if you said that was like a fucking like a Norwegian strong man competitor Like that was Magnus for Magnus thing. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's all muscle But it could also be fat chick tit and I'll say oh my oh my Christ Oh my fun. Oh sad Kermit. I got the sad Kermit when you that heavy reveal You guys see Kermit how sad he is. He's so sad with that frown It's just built like a caterpillar. He's three separate. Also. I think Kermits Kermits works He has a couple of fucking moles on his face that are changing the shape and color which is bad Checked out. Oh, it's not easy being cancerous Are these melanomas or am I just getting older? I just found out Jim Henson died Again his dick is out in this picture just so everybody knows it's not a frame I understand what you're saying. No, he's right. No, dude His dick is dick is dick is probably right in the middle of Kermits mouth But yeah, but it's being covered by Kermits chin and Surrounding background picture and also doesn't his facial expression kind of show off that he's like pumped to know that His dick is just out of frame He doesn't yeah, I also wonder this size is he think the beard makes him look good or is a psychological like well now I'm kind of unapproachable to look at a mountain person doesn't give a fuck I think it's I think he's never done this before in his life Or do you think he's like acted in the beard and how you don't think he's thought about like well This will just beard actually will end up getting me a fucking Walmart fucking oh Check out girl in this town. I don't know That's a you see the chin tuck. That's not the first he slid that very easily It's not the first time he's tucked a shirt into his chin done this by the way I've never seen someone I've never seen someone tuck a shirt in their chin and their head is still straightforward That beard is heavy. Yep, or he's got something happened in that neck that we can't see going along filled with lasagna It's a natural velcro bond Oh shit what the fuck hat that's good enough. I think let's put this next one Tristan your number five. This is Zach. Oh He's playing cool. I don't mind that Yeah, dude. Zach's into this hold on Hello boys. Hello boys. Yeah, you want to see the goods by the way those are lay in nice You got to take the hair off. It's only fair are we a hundred percent sure this isn't a dance and you got to mentally take off Yes, I agree that you can you can't you can't consider the head Yeah, bro. I'm considering the eyes very much. All right. Yeah, those eyes are fucking into his eyes are looking at eight different things His right eye is pretty the left one is special needs. I think Is that all we have for this guy? Got a couple T. Oh This guy's got city there's a Sydney swinging nipples, dude Dude look at the fucking area. Oh is that's great. That is a woman's tit for sure Yeah, I was gonna say I'm an area. Oh the man myself. No, we have a new leader in the clubhouse Those are woman's nipples is this very holars are horribly drawn. He's I mean like what they look like Dude, that's a woman's nipples. His area was look like pork chops Yeah, it's insane one's a I've never seen one go up and hook to the list It looks like two beans that are angry and not talking to each other Do you guys see that? I'm stone so I always wonder if you guys see it too It's like two beans who've had an argument and they're not talking right now an aerial view of a putting green with two fucking pins in the middle of it Absolutely, I see that all so you know where the hole is Look how happy Why is he happy I'll tell you why it's because this is the kind of weird body where you're past getting it together So he's found happiness in a place in life. He's over with this. He's like dude. I fuck what I can By the way the best lighting he can find is someone's trunk. I think what is that? That's someone with the brake lights on Listen, whatever he's got going on. We say this guy's got a two-car garage. He doesn't He has a two-carger out I would argue as a father has a two-carger. Well, you don't have to worry about bitches He leads the competition in variation so far. I'll tell you that so those are now I also really respect is putting your shirt over your head like When you played sports in high school at recess. By the way, there's someone sitting behind him in case you were wondering There is also some person No, he just he just farted that guy out He's the clipsing that man. There is also a Boston Terrier. I believe yeah This guy's making me actually nauseous. I think he's no Definitely is going to the next round. I mean, those nipples are outweighed I mean he is making me nauseous if he if he paints those with a talent competition He could be a fucking top contender. Imagine if you fuck that. I've accidentally Yeah, I didn't know because they're braw made him look the same size, but I fucked that Let a little less hair. I've seen those before the novelty lounge. Oh my god, dude. I fucked several sad curmets All right, go to the next one Sad curmets. I really feel like that was gonna be I if people gave a standing ovation. I thought I was gonna get out Where's left for sure? I'd be like, guys, I'm gonna get out of here. I'll catch you now Sad curmets dude. That's such a great description Hey, Skanks fans, let's take a second to think one of our amazing sponsors over here at the show and that is prize picks Yes, football is heating up right now and everybody is pulling up because prize picks has all your picks in one place New users now get yourself a head start with prize picks best offer yet if you win your first five-dollar lineup You're gonna get a hundred and fifty dollar in line-ups for free. That's right New users are gonna get one hundred and fifty dollars in line-ups if you win your first five-dollar lineup low risk high reward Prize picks is now available nationwide. That's right every state has it So what are you waiting for? Lock in for kickoff with prize picks. Steve. You'd love this. I do love this I love prize picks. I love picking players and winning money. 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Prize picks has your back when other apps don't With the prize picks injury reboot pretty cool if a player in your lineup gets injured in the first half and doesn't return your lineup can still Cash prize picks injury reboot helped users win over thirty one million dollars in the 2025 season So try today because everyone and everything is on prize picks download the prize picks app today and use code skanks with an ssk a nks Skanks and you'll get that one hundred and fifty dollars instantly in lineups if you win that first five dollar lineup One more time download the prize picks app use that code skanks to get one hundred and fifty dollars instantly in lineups If you win that first five dollar lineup prize picks run your game All right, let's take a quick moment to thank Indy Cloud for supporting the show look we get stoned on the show all the time Yeah, everyone's a little stoned right now. That's where they were slow to clap. We get stoned on the show all the time We love Mary Jane not enough to tattoo it on my tip. I love it It's the holiday season. I'm gonna tell you right now if you want to enjoy your candy You gotta go get stocked up on Indy Cloud fully legal online cannabis dispensary that ships right to your door With treats that you're gonna need all the season they have a Beast mode all-in-one vapes Relaxing flower and pre rolls energizing gummies sleep gummies and zero sugar T. H. C. Sona's built for chill social moments Jay the pre rolls you're you're constantly smoking what? Oh, yeah, yeah Jay is fine - Oh, laptop on intercloud. - What are you laughing at? - All the intercloud products are fending with me or at me. - All intercloud products are federally legal, MTHG and everything is lab tested. So do me a favor, let them know how they can get involved with intercloud. - All right, listen up everyone. If you're 21 and older, go to intercloud.co. That is dotco.com and use the code Skanks for 30% off your first subscription order. - Again, that's intercloud.co, code Skanks and your subscription ships regularly and discreetly. - Regularly, literally. - We're freaking out, we're freaking out. - And we're freaking out. - We're freaking out. - Qualifying orders. - After your order, fill out a survey and tell them the legion of Skanks sent you. - You're sweating. - Now listen and joy responsibly and thank you to intercloud. - All right, all right, this is Anthony. Oh. - For the Skank First Gold Ticket Competition. - Why is it always the same guy? - It's Ticket Competition. (audience laughing) - Is that also a bootleg show that says something, huh? - Yeah. - Here we go. - Oh, he's going to let him drop. He's going to drop. - Oh, I appreciate the showmanship. (audience cheering) - Yo, yo, yo. - Those are solid little beigas. - Oh my god, and you know what? - What? - And you know those sexy little beastings. - 100% I think this guy shaved the tits and left the bottom part. - Yes, he did. - He's heard these episodes, points, take it notes. And been like, - Can you zoom in on his left tip? - Yes. - Just zoom in on his left tip. - All right. - That's a beautiful small tip. - The silhouette? - Yes. - That's a little sucking nibble right there. - I do. - I can't think little bites. - Do it all right. - Oh my god, do it. - And riding me, riding my mouth? - Yo. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - There's a shake here, bud. - Push right nipple. - If you push, if he pushes those together, those become little fucking nice things. - Look how confident he is. He is like, you want to suck on my tits. - He knew we would. He knew we would be. - What can we do? - Dude, he must moisturize. - Those look soft as fuck right now. - Dude, those, 'cause I'll tell you what, they're under hair. You can see his belly. They're under hair normally. - Yup. - And you can see nick themself above the nipple. - Yeah, he did. - He did. - You don't wanna like about this guy, it seems like his nipples, are always a little bit hard. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, bro. - 'Cause he prepared. I have a man's nipples, but he's nervous. - He's nervous. - There's always a little hard, dude. - They're always hard, yeah. - He is still right now, and they are. - He is the tits of a petite woman. - I live with hard nips. - That's good. So they're never fucking-- - Those are cute little like fun. Like if those were on a girl, she would have to wear a bra, no one's really like mad about him. - Yeah, we love that. - We love that. - Yeah, I love it. - That's a farmer's market tip. I guess the summer is upon us, huh? Put that thing in a sun dress. - Oh, wait. - Yo, dude, come on. - He's also got nice nails. - All right. - Dude. - Nobody fuel my pants. - Oh, this guy's fucking married. What a loser. - I don't know. - This boy is taking these photos. - Oh my god, for sure she is. Honey, we're gonna go to Skankfest. Just humiliate me in front of you. - You can see the razorbird now with this clothes. - By the way, when they tighten up, though, too, you really see the fucking point on them shoes. - Yeah, those are nice, nice nips. - I mean, right here, if I got these as a DM, I would jerk off to them before asking anymore questions. If we could fucking remove those Polish claws out of the way. (laughing) - I was gonna say, here's a beard at the top. If you crop that, and they go, I'm cool, you know it. - Oh shit. - I mean, is this a definite move on? - I think so. I mean, it's in my top, too. - Oh, I mean, I'm in for that one. I'd take yes. - Okay, all right. - Are you sure we were exactly? This guy was great because he doesn't have huge tits. - Is that nice tits? - Nice, great tits. - We knew it was gonna stand there. - Do you think his wife was like, babe, you have nice tits? - You know, his wife had a shave him. - She was let him drop. She showed him how to drop it. She was like this. She a fucking little fat kid at his foot. - I heard dropping her silverware at dinner, just being like, why are you doing it? (laughing) - Start booking your hotels and new worlds. - I believe in you, the kids believe in you. Why don't you believe in you? - You really get to say, dad's got the nice tits. - Dad, you get the nicest tits out of all my friends. - I got all my first boners to dance to. (laughing) When he would fucking mow the lawn, they would jiggle around from the vibration of the thing. - I'd kill myself, that's fucking, that's crazy. It would be nice to have a nice effeminate. I'm from Scottsdale. We like a couple of fake titties thrown in, like the freckles you had. - Oh, that's all you're allowed to have. You got to see, you see the ribcage between their tits because they took double A's and made them fucking triple F. - And just had a dream, you know, I just had a dream and worked it. - I mean, they were like, I never made a pass that one website porn. - The clamping. - How do you clamp a scale together? - You don't like the striatation? - No, no, no, I'm a big naturalist. - Yeah, I don't like fake tits at all. - Really? - Yeah. - You know, when they get on all fours and it looks like there's a ghost already holding their tits, you see like finger marks. - Yeah, it looks like there's the bags weird. I guess it's not shaped like tits, 'cause there's a seam in the middle. - I do have to emphasize, Dan who comes from one of those, like house cut in half massive load homes. - That's 'cause they're kosher. - Yeah, yeah, it rubs off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - At least once a week I get my wife, the Janet Jackson, where I just come up behind her, just lift them up and just squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em. - And you go, oh man, remember back when you were young enough to get a gun put to your head, that didn't give a shit, I'll meet you in the shower. - Your suck me off. - At least once a week I get my son, the Michael Jackson, I come up behind him and I have sex with him. - Yeah, nice. - I call every kid, I'm a let's blanket, and I throw a blanket over their head, so they don't see my face, how happy I am a let's do that. - 31 more to go, guys, here we go, let's hit it. - Let's hit 31 more. - Let's go. - All right, you know what I'm guys? - Oh, well, to bring it up, how about we give congratulations to Shane, dude. I'm fucking great, we should do the same. - Oh, absolutely. (audience cheering) - Absolutely, I'm killed, dude. The top sketch, fucking hilarious, did great. - It was great. - All right. - Louis didn't care for it. Louis said it was a little show tuning for him. - I didn't watch it yet. - Very funny. - It was awesome. - And can I say something super gay? - Yeah. - Rosalía, the performer, the music performer. I was stone, so I like that. - I want to fuck her brother. - Can I share something really gay? - I don't understand a word she's saying. All Spanish, two fantastic performances. Rosalía. - Nice. I didn't mind fast forwarded. - Oh, you racist, dude. - Yeah, dude, I was like, I was pretty great, pretty good. - I soon as it was, wasn't anything nice. - Not like by a concert ticket, pretty good, though. - All right. Just checking out his own thing. We got those tips. - Yes, this is Anthony. - Oh my God. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - His thug life tattooed on. - Is that what it says? - The first of five levels of his gut. - Oh my God, dude. - I thought it said pedo file. - Well, I bet it was in the middle a couple of years ago. - These are awful tits. - The foundation. - Come on in his face. - I think he's currently working at Taco Bell. - Also, doesn't this guy know how horrors on stripes make you look fat? - Is he? - I think it's elbows holding up half the other one. - Hang on, guys, should I have had a cigar when I said that? Doesn't this guy know how horrors on that make you look fat? - No, something about the one's way bigger than the other. He didn't get a good, he should have paid more for the surgery that he got. - Yeah, way more. - This is Daniel, are you paying attention? Not one of these guys have had symmetrical tits, yeah. - But the one looks like a contract supreme and the other one just, it looks like a dollar minion. - Some say yeah, that's good. - Yeah, well who does one of a contract supreme do? It was a brilliant idea. - No matter what, he's a Mexican pizza. - Yeah, he's got a bruise where his tits meet when he walks. - Oh my God, a sternum shot every time he moves. - Yeah, he's also got a cleavage crease and a crease below that. Okay, ready? This looks like, he looks like a big fat cock, but it's having like a very like a whatever motion, but this one's mouth is right between where the helmet is. Do you see it? Do you see like a, it's a cock, but it's not whistling, it's not happy, it's not sad. It's just like, yeah, I'm just like, you know, I'm flippin' through the channel. - What? - You see it's like a cock who's just flippin' through the channel? Do you guys see it? - Yes, yes, yes, yes, we see it. - Well, definitely see it. So if you do me favor and just say you see it every time I say it, and we're gonna see it. - I got it. - You guys see it, right? He's like, God damn, he's all these channels, it's nothing wrong. - All right, those guys that go, this guy say, gee Mike, you can use your eyes, these are not nice tits. - I thought they were great tits. - No, come on, gee Mike. I mean, how is there 15 HBO's, there's 15 HBO's, and I don't want to watch one thing on them. Was it a bug life that threw you off, gee Mike? Was it the bug life? - I think I like the tattoo. - Yeah, you like the tattoo. I think that might be with the bug. - The tattoo's awesome, yes, but we're not judging tattoos. - Also, you can't thug if people can hide from you up steps. (laughing) - All that I'm thinking about is him having like a second at work, being like, yo, can I run to the bathroom real quick? And then this is what he did with his time. He was like, I'm gonna flash the Legion this time. - And he only gave his one shot. - Yeah, next. - I gotta say this too, and we all understand. The thug life for sure is ironic, it's a funny. - I don't think so. - I do not know. - I guarantee, when I make a bet, let's find out. - How do we know? - How do we know? - So tell us. - Yes, he's gonna fucking say yes, it's a joke, 'cause we're making fun of it ridiculous that day. - No, if he goes, it's stupid as shit, but I got it 'cause I thought it was awesome. - I'm not making a bad base of whatever his answer is. - What? This is a public bathroom. - Dude, you're so racist against fucking tin. - Holy shit. - It's a bathroom in the place that he works at. It's obviously on the top. - This guy's body is terrible. - It's a titular nightmare. And again, when it's all back, he didn't give us an above shot like the other night. I'd say this guy's out. Those nipples are disgrace. - Yeah. - Those are just-- - Not hot, sir. - Yes, sorry, sir. - I don't wanna suck on them shits at all. - You're out. - Absolutely. - Go to the bathroom. - It is interesting to see a bad one. Like compared to the other, you're like, "Oh yeah, the dude's man tits our bad." - It gets kinda sad pretty quick. That's why we gotta move on. - Well, hold on one second. - Whoa. - This is Andy. - Andy? - Andy, you could say underwater. - By the way, from that-- - No, it's just me, it's really dirty. I will say from this angle though, Andy. Please don't get mad at me. If you told me you were born a woman and then grew a beard, I would fucking believe you, dude. - Yeah, Andy, look at him. - You look like a real fucking genius. - If you told me you were a big J's older brother, I'd believe you. - Or sister, those tits though are a nightmare. Did he give-- is this a video or did he give the other shot of those pictures? - Those are terrible pictures. - I mean, if this was the best picture he took, this probably-- oh, hold on. - Okay, we know it now. - By the way, his dick is out there, dude. - Dude, it looks like Santa Claus. - Short and sweet, my name's Andy. Check, check it. - All right, I mean, I think we should judge him. Why in the black light? - I like for he with sexy lighting. We should judge him. - I'm hoping the black light is like through exotic fish. Can we say because there's so many, he's in the pool. He's not out. He's not officially it. The other person was out. - He's in the pool, he's running a t-shirt. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. And then you're really going to see those yams, fucking when they're fucking slapped down with that hot water. I'd say he's in the pool, but not out out. - Sure, in the pool. - He's in the pool. - In the pool. I like the sexy photo he did with the figure in his mouth. - Yeah, that was hot. - I'd fuck his face. - Yeah. (laughing) - But that's not this contest. - No, if that was about that, I would give him a golden ticket, so I could fuck his face. If you let me fuck your face, I'll give you a golden ticket. Now, I don't know if I'm going to do it, but I'd like to know all weekend I had the option at any point I go, like if people started getting shitty with me, I'd go, "Yo, I'm just going to go fuck this guy's face." - I bet you there's plenty of people who would let you up on that. - You can't be gay, you have to hate it. (laughing) I'm not gay, so I don't want you sucking my dick. I want to fuck your face while you're like. - You're only hard, you're so angry. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Complete prison with Jay, it's gag fest. - You don't understand, I'm not gay, I've made you gay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No one's gay, but if there is, you're the gay one. - No, you definitely have turned gay because you probably love the way I fucked your face. - There's a big Jay, it's gay. - Sarah Paul, wait up, come here. What do you do? - Oh my God. - I sugar free red bull. - Do you think the entire song, "Man-E-Durken Play" before he comes back with that? (laughing) - She only command. - All right, go to the next one. - All right, this is Alejandro. - Mm-hmm, okay. - All right. - I would say this guy doesn't even have a bad check. This guy's like right on the cusp of being muscular. - Yeah, this guy looks like, get this guy out of here. - He kind of looks like Cam Velasquez, former UFC heavyweight champion. - I don't want to make too much fun of him. - In case there's a strong chance, just judging by his face and body and his background, that that name is the name of his daughter who got shot in a gunfire. - No, yeah. - It was meant for him, but they hit his daughter. - He's a fat juggler who loves weed, Jay. That's what that means. - Oh, Mary Jane. - No, but he's also a fat juggler, who made a name to his daughter, Mary Jane, and then she got caught in crossfire with this guy's gang, really. - If you name your daughter after weed and she dies from gang violence, that's like a non-starter. - Okay. - This guy's a dweeb. Jay, you're just racist. - Lewis. - No, you're racist. I'm telling you, why do you-- - Why do you-- - I'll bet you this, I'll bet you this. I'll bet you he's a dweeb. But he's not like a fucking-- - Lewis, are you judging that? - Because you think he's got badding's ideas, why he has alopecia in those bald spots all over his face? - I bet you have bad guys. - Lewis, she looks like Steve's nose. - He's gay, dude. - Oh my God. - Yeah, he just has the less like the least convincing, like lady tits. Like, you can crop this guy to this guy. - Oh, this guy. - He also might be gay. - I think this guy's got three bodies on his fucking gun. - Okay. - This guy's a former gang member. - Is this a video? - No, it's a video. - I'll tell you what, on a vigilante mission, he had to kill the gang leader to get out officially because he had a daughter named Mary Jane and he wanted to turn his life around for her. And then, ever since she got killed in that drive by shooting, he's dedicated himself to winning titty competitions in her honor by showing her name on his-- - His old for a thousand. - These sets think. - I say he should move right through because of his dead daughter, Mary Jane. - No, I'm not. - Out of respect to Mary Jane. - Making up a scenario in your head. - No, dude, for sure this guy definitely had his dead daughter that he got because he was all fucking doing titty competitions and he wasn't there to protect her. - Well, it was the last time you thought about Mary Jane. - Mary Jane? - Yeah, Mary Jane? - What was the last time you thought about her? - 'Cause I've been liking him. - This guy messaged just a year ago when this happened. - Just so you know, the only way I was able to get through the death of my daughter, Mary Jane. - It was laughing at you guys. - You guys are the best thief in life. - I've been so anxious since I've been losing parts of my beard. - Now listen, please judge my titties without the little baby hairs in the middle, please. - I didn't want to shave him because me gang, me familia would have me key. - Yeah, I also realize there's no gang man or the sand on your best titty competition. - What are you talking about, dude? - Best grunt, they teetas. The boys are throwing a party for me back at the motorcycle club gang house. - Notice there's no life. - I am the vice president of the Mayans. - None of these are taking it like a law office or inside of a hospital or anything like where normal people work. - Talk about you. - In an alley. - Dude, this guy's waiting for the guy to fall asleep. Put the anesthesia before he goes before this fucking happened after me. Are you out of your mind, dude? This guy can't be a doctor because he's a fucking Mexican with alopecia who has weed tattooed on his fat tin. Fuck you, Steve. Dude, I hate fucking thinnest. You guys make me sick. - Pins. - Okay. He's not there. Go under the next one. - Here's the last one. This is Joe. - Joe. - Aw. - All right, Joe. - Something about karma, jagged ahead. - Okay, here we go, ready? (laughing) This is a fucking cock with four skin, but the four skin's not over the head. It's just hanging underneath the head and it's whistling. - I see it. I see it. - Second. This guy has no belly button. - Oh, I see an alien. Is that AI? Where's this belly button? - It's in the hair. - There's no belly button there. I think it's hanging in his underwear. - It's in the void. - Get out of here. That happens before belly button. Usually belly button happens above that. - His tits are discussed. - Like it would be here. - It's just guy, it's just like the man in black guy? This can't, where's this belly button? - Okay, let me say something. It's gonna be the fucking sickest tits so far. - Yeah. - He's got his pants pulled up above his belly button. - Dude, those might be the nicest tits so far. - I know. - Each one good in their own way, but not the same. - Yeah. - But I will say overall, as a fucking set of honkers, you saw those are brought. You are gonna fucking blow your sunglasses. - If you don't look at his cleavage, it kind of looks like a hot pussy. Right? Look at that, dude. That's a hot snack, dude. - Oh, yeah. - Dude, with a little bit of fucking dust on it, you know, you were coming overnight, but you let it grow a little bit. - Go up a little bit more. Just go up a little. - And zoom in a little. - Yeah, yeah, right there. - A little more. - Yeah. - A little more. - More an ass crack. - Right there, right there. - That's a hot snack. - No, that's an ass crack for sure. Somebody just got over their period. - I didn't know they were gonna fuck tonight. I really broke you down, huh? That's hot. That's okay. I don't care. Oh, there we are. - Dude, those are nice. - I take a guarantee through. Those are fucking a woman. Oh, come on. - Yeah. - The wrinkle on the left. I mean, I'm told, the wrinkle on the left one, those are sea cups that have been around the world and with that one. - I don't want to piss this fucking, this thing's like a test tube baby. There's no belly button. There's no where in a bellocacore connected. - The left one is just such the star of the show. - The right one, I mean, who the fuck can tell? - No, but you hold that one while you suck the other. - It's crazy that he got this initial shot and then he has the glamour shots for like two and three. - Well, he wants to be honest about it. I don't know if you guys, even though there is a third tip coming out of the fucking left side there. He didn't even enter that one. - All right, so who do we put through? - We've got five tits, so it's almost unfair. - Yeah. - I'm gonna judge the nipple ones. - Can we review, I mean, where's the belly button? - It's gone, dude. - I would say, it's fucking gone. - I would say this guy for sure. - It's underneath. I would say fucking happy Zack. - And then you know, first guy that had the best lighting. - No, but I would shave this chest with a small set. - The shaved chest guy. - Wait, do we say the first person was definitely through though? Are we putting through four people? - You put four through last week, so four would make sense this week and that's how many do you pick? - Sure. - Okay, yay. - The winners are Ben, Zach, Anthony, and Joe. That's gonna take it, they won. - All right. You know who you are, you know who you are. - That's cool. - That's awesome. - It's crazy. - Damn, we made Cerebral Paul get 55 drinks and you couldn't bring up one fucking picture of me. - Yeah, I do, my tits. Cerebral Paul, you are gonna live to 78. Who wrapped this bitch up? - No, no, we had a little time here. - Okay. - Yeah. - So there was, this happened a couple of weeks ago. There was a, there had a fight between a human being and a robot and, yeah, this is happening. - The future is here, dude. - The future it's now robot. - We're fighting. And I tried to get the podcast to buy a Rumba and I was going to fight the Rumba on the show. It was going to be one of the best bits ever. We're a legitimate pitch and we were like, "If you can't beat a Rumba, what the fuck are we doing?" It would have been fucking great dude. Sarah Bupal vs. Rumba would have been a solid band. And we don't know that Sarah Bupal could have beat up a Rumba. I don't know. I sure. Yeah. That's true. My buddy's son, Sarah Bupal. Sarah Bupal had to do his bad foot. So show us this video. It was a terminator robot versus a human being in a cage. Finally. Yeah, it was a robotics company was doing it to promote cyberdine. Cyberdine? Yeah, and they're doing like an AI like a fighting through virtual reality. You get to get the same training thing over. So here's like an example of what the robots can do. Go, go, go, go, go. Well, Jay, do you think you can do that? Yeah, that's awesome. So why would you get red eyes in a skull face? Stop it for a second. Daniel, make children to fight this, please. No, Lewis fucking comes at me with this all the time and you fucking, and I don't, I hate it. What? I don't, I'm not saying I can just do it right now. But the reason I can't do a kip up like that is because I don't believe I can do it. But I have the ability to do it and if I, when I went back to do it, if I believed in myself, I could accomplish it, but as soon as I would go to do it, I'd go, I can't do it and you whiff. A lot of these things have to just do it, but even you can do it, it's a whiff and I whiff. It's a, it's in a moment of necessity where you're like, I need to do a kick up so I can fight this road. No, absolutely. But if I was fighting a robot and it did a fucking kip up like that, I'd leave immediately. I go, I mean, if I didn't have a gun that was using plasma, yeah, it has to shoot like a fucking ghost fucking fucking lightning. I have to shoot a gun that freezes robots. Yeah. A freeze sort of freeze. It's a nitrogen. What's that called? Nitrous. Nitrogen. Nitrogen oxide. No, it's not that. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen gun. Yes. We would crush him with that. Edit it. We'll start it over. Lewis say about that. God. Go to the video. So you guys just came up. I mean, fuck that. There's not a second in you programming that we're here like, this is fucked up, right? Yeah. There's no way. What could possibly go wrong? Yeah. Yeah, they could beat us in hand-to-hand combat also. Yeah. We're programming him with Bruce Lee Moves. There he goes. That's before he figures out how to make his arm a gun. Is there someone controlling him, or is he doing this on his own? No, it's just him doing him. Yeah. Just getting loose with it. I'm just hanging out. That picture right there. You don't have to show me more than that to be like, no, I'm okay. That's a great question. Is this a remote controlled robot, or is this a robot using AI to just fight during the fight? They said it was AI. It was built as AI. It was not AI. It was a robotics company. They're promoting a game they're making, which is real world fighting like a--but you're behind a real robot in virtual reality. Why is that? It's like from a living room. No. What was that movie? Real Steel? I can't remember it. Real Steel. Real Steel. It's a plot of real Steel. Yeah. They're doing that. It's like a gambling website or something. That is awesome. So wait, I have to do those moves for the robot to do those moves. That's what it says. I'm asking for real. No problem. Yeah. Like, because the robot's sitting around. It's football on television, because that's what my robot's going to do. I'll be honest. Kid and robot lose to care at times. Yeah. I'll finally have a real reason to be doing these fucking spinning roundhouses in my living room. To just train an absolute tin-winning machine? Absolutely. Hell yeah. My neighbors will know who I am. Can we see the fight itself? So this is the fight he fought eight. I mean, the lighting is so terrifying. They should showcase this machine and then await to kill it in the same conference. If you are standing there waiting for this robot to enter, you're going like, "I'm going to fucking die." So he's fighting. So he's fighting. So he's fighting. This is like when Drago got lifted up. Yeah. He'll live in an AmeriCorps. Look at this ceiling tile. It's like they're in a hotel, Marriots. Well, they're not going to show-- what if this thing goes fucking crazy, kills everyone at the wedding next door at the fucking ballroom? By a small price to pay for a fighting robot. It will. They gave it take over the world face. They didn't even fucking try. Look at this. Oh, he-- Get the fuck out of here. I mean, these were parents in fights? No. I'm coming for you. Look at this. Why is this dick so big? You know what? You got to have a dick that big to be willing to do this. Oh, my god. Dude, what's in his dick? Oh, this is the big butt guy, right? I think this is my social media guy, Frank LePainty, does like stunts. Yeah. Oh. Oh, this is idiotic. Is this pants stuff? Yeah, this is way better. Oh, fuck. It's stretching. It doesn't have muscles. So he could never win against a rope in duny. Oh, that's probably got a herd, though. And that's Plexiglass. Not a cage. There's no kid. It's got engine torque behind its kicks. Oh, my god. Why can't he hurt the robot? Right. You have to go out. You have to go out. You have to go out with battery. I could beat the fuck out of C3PO. -You do. -Rosie from The Jets. -Oh, you can't. -I've never seen a Puerto Rican robot before. -Yeah. -I think she's really strong. Now, she used to be able to lift a couch with one arm, so she's really strong. And when she lost her shit, didn't the fucking Jetsons just get out of dodge? They got the fuck out of there, right? A room for everything, or a place for everything, and everything in its place. She turned bad on episode, started going, "Fucking hang." -She was, yeah, she was crazy at one point. -There was a place for everything, and everything in its place, and she was lifting shit. And if I was Jetsons, I'd go, then I'm going to get my family out of here safe. -Also, also. -I give in the Rosie. For some reason, she has that weird, it seems she should be able to knock her over too, but she comes in hard. -I built like Bobby Kelly. -Yeah. -Also Bobby Kelly. -Yeah. For some reason, it makes me feel like her last name is Perez. I don't know why. -Well, she's a maid. -Yeah, but she's talking. -That ends up. -Her bottom is built like an oscillating fan, and it just seems like you can tilt that over, please. -Yeah, but she comes in hot. You've got to see her fucking-- -She goes fast. -Why do you find angry Rosie? -Yeah. -I can't feel fucking wheeled right now. -Teresan angry Rosie? -Yeah, dude. -She can't hear her. -She went in the frizzest. -She got in the frizzest. -Remember when they would give her, like, her birthday, they would give her, like, nuts and bolts to eat? -Oh, yeah. -They would. -I don't look at that. -Yeah, dude. -Yeah, they fed her like a slave. -Oh, really? -Yeah. -That's why they're angry at us now. -They're robots. -I thought they liked lots of birds. -Oh, dude. -You don't have to video her. -You don't have to video report her. -Oh, that's no good. Now it's like she got some news from up north and has a couple of opinions about it. -Yeah, Tristan. Fuck her face, big mouth. She can't fucking do anything right off of the face. -Oh, the little fucking. -Yeah. -This is so much harder. -Oh, my. You don't have to video her running around. She's fucking-- she's super strong. It's terrifying. George just had no choice. I didn't realize it was five o'clock shadow. Because that color is his face. -That's weird. That means his wife is pretty hot. -Oh, yeah. -Yeah, she was always fit. -What was her name? -What was her name? -She's not Judy. -Janet Jetson. -No. Jordan Jetson. Jetson. Being in one Jordan Jetson. -What was the mom's name? Why don't I fucking remember it all? -Judy's the daughter. Yeah, Judy was hot too. -Got to be Janet. -Judy was fucking hot. -But then a little plucky son, too. -Yeah, that was a. -Jayne. -Jayne Jetson. -Jayne Jetson. -Jayne, his wife. -Judy, the boy. -Is the son named to a boy? -Lie Roy. -Lie Roy. -Lie Roy. -His boy, El Roy. -Lie Roy. -What the fuck is up, everybody? -Nah, the way. -The future craziest shit right now, man. -Oh, shit. -How much a piece of shit? -How much a piece of shit to three of us? The first thing we all remember. We knew George, because he was here. We got to dodge when we remembered daughter, Judy. -We all remember Judy. -Judy. -This bastard's son, Lie Roy. -Lie Roy's neighbor. -No, man. -No, I grew up with the bad side of the Jetson. -The male robot, or El Roy? -Tell me the Jetsons don't sound like a housing project? -Yeah, I live in the Jetsons, bro. -Go ahead, show it. -Jane, show it. -It's a live shit. -Dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, -That's great. I haven't watched the Jetsons in a while. I might go home tonight and watch the Jetsons. -You're going to disappoint me. -It's so stupid. -You don't know shit. -I know. -It's supposed to be like the New Year. -Watch Carrie on Amazon. -I watched the first episode already. -It's good. -With James. -It was good. -It was good. -And they did some interesting things. -They've done some things. They've switched it up a little bit. -They've made some interesting choices that I like. -Carrion Amazon? -Yeah. -What the fuck? -You talk about that. -Oh, you guys don't like seven-toned horror revivals? -Yeah. -I'm sorry. We can't please everybody. -Damn, dude. -Those guys are gonna make it for sure. -As soon as we get. As soon as we stop talking about the Jetsons, they left. -Yeah, they're here for Comic Con. -What other robots? -No, we still have for getting angry. -Do we? -Yeah. He had the video. We stopped because we started talking about it. -I don't have the video. -No, it's not. -What episode it's from? -Yeah, he knows the episode. -Yeah. -He knows Jetsons. -No, no, no. -He knows the episode. -So, do you think I know? -I'm looking every. I don't know what it is. -If you look up Jetsons on YouTube, Jetsons rosy, angry? 100%. -It's the first thing they'll come up. -Let's say, does that come up? -Everyone knows. That's the first thing that shows up. When you look up Jetsons rosy. -Is it one of her pull-thup? -I was saying this, like, it's a commonplace. -Are you good words? -I'm gonna show you. -Imagine Judy Jetson did a porno. And that comes up first or something? -Imagine. -That'd be cool. -It's. -Don't make my dick hard. -Here we go. -It's pretty pissed here. -All right. -It's fine. It's okay. -This is not. -Oh, I'm gonna. I'm disappointed. -Producer's heater it goes. -Give me another robot. -Send another robot down the line. -Who's that? -I think I'll fuck you up. -Is that Rob Williams? -Yeah. -But that's not Rob Williams. -Robot Rob Williams. -He'll fuck you up too. -Robot Rob Williams. -Yeah, dude. You're gonna have birch tweeting around your head when this guy starts running with that fucking face face stand up. -You're doing a robot on his own. -Can you do that kind of damage? -Robot on cocaine sounds. -He's like, "You have nothing to talk about. Black guy's like, "Hey, man. What did you do to that? What did he do?" And then the gay guy goes like, "Oh my god, that's so fucking crazy." And you're gonna have birch tweeting around your head. And then he's gonna fucking robot kick you in the. -I've never saw my Citennial man. -Who did? -I mean, whoever did the guy's lips knew what they were doing, though. That's a nice set. -That's a nice set of white lips. -He's got that scar on the side. They're like, "He was fucking cut by a Puerto Rican gang at a club." -Like Tina Fey. -Yeah, a guy danced with the wrong bitch. -You know, Tina Fey works one. Nobody saw this movie. -Dance with the wrong bitch. -What? -Evil Bill and Evil Ted? -This is lost on me. -From Bill and Ted's bogus journey? -Yeah. -Anyway, well, that's not evil Bill and Evil Ted, just so you know. Evil Bill and Evil Ted look just like Bill and Ted. And they made robot Bill and robot Ted to fight evil Bill and Evil Ted. -G-Mike, holy shit. -Well, Lewis, you just failed the fucking police test. Thank you, G-Mike, for putting that in there. Like I said, I told you he would do that. I told you he would correct you on a Bill and Ted's bogus journey fact. I promised you he's watched it recently. He's a fucking dildo. -And it's a certified gay test that you've been in. -You just fucking failed it so hard that you were such a dildo. -All right, well, fuck this. -Hey, remember I said, should we wrap this show up before this? -Yeah, well. -Before we found out, what do we find out from this? You can get your ass kicked by Boston Tenio, man. -What? -Because the Robin Williams fast-paced comedy. -We can wrap it up now. -No, shut up. Daniel, thank you so much for being on the show. And you guys, Trist didn't always a fucking pleasure to have you here. We love you guys. Make sure you check out Modern Apes, the podcast. We will catch you guys later in the speak on the Friday night hang until then. -Bruce. -Yay! -You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Big J Okerson. -Did you suck it? -I think I would instinctually suck it. -Big with three scenes. -That's gonna be fucking over, Lewis. -Realist Gomez. -Lewis J Gomez. -You're trying to watch a retard draw swastika hilarious. -I'm sort of done as a point guard to podcasting. -Be a fat gay guy. -It's so fucking awesome. -And comedian Steve Renn is easy. -The Legion of Skanks podcast. -The Legion of Skanks podcast.