Trisha FINALLY Apologizes to Laura Lee & Manny MUA + Looks Back at Their Cancellations… | Just Trish

Oscar did a great introduction where he's like, "Trish is about to meet people, she's bullied online." [Laughter] What did you think when Shane infiltrated the Beauty Space? I thought it was fascinating. [Laughter] What about that I've had give away? [Laughter] Great job. [Laughter] What about that I've had? [Laughter] Let's see what that does. [Music] [Music] [Music] Camera's going, like Chris, not Chris Hansen, who do I feel like, who does, like, I'm just nervous. Guys, I've never been nervous. We're about to meet for the first time. You said you've met them. I've met them before. Butterflies. [Laughter] [Laughter] Some of them have been meeted. [Laughter] I'm like, I'm not feeling. [Laughter] I know. For no reason. [Laughter] Cut. Growth and change right here. Growth and change. I'm so nervous. Okay. [Laughter] Oh my god. I think we should just roll into it, right? Yeah? Okay. Okay, great. All right. [Laughter] Okay. [Laughter] You guys, we're about to meet Laura Lee and Mania Miller. It's a cold open. I know. I've never seen you like this. I'm like, I know. I get really nervous, huh? [Laughter] I was going to sing. Yeah, let's get the song going. We should actually, I would break the ice. Okay. I know we do have a cold open. You guys are going to see. I like when people just go right into it. It is giving dark showed to you. It's giving you a shout. Like, hey, come on out. Oh my gosh. Okay. Try to shout out saying people who she bullied online for the first time. I'm scared. I'm scared. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so nervous. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so nervous. I can't look at you. I can't. I can't look at you. I'm so nervous. I can't look at you. I'm so nervous. I can't look at you. I can't see you. Oh my god. You guys are so nice to see you. See you. Meet you. I mean, good thing you're here. You guys want to share a chair? Or do you want to share my chair? No, we're doing it. You guys know what to do with your chair? I'm going to share it. Yeah, look at this here. You can put this here. You guys okay? It's perfect. This is why I'm afraid how I saw it. Wait, this is so cute. You're big. Oh yeah, people think that. You're in a good way. People always think I'm not kidding you. I'll meet people and they're like, you're so big in person. No. I'm like, you guys, I used to be a lesbian. No! I'm just traumatizing. You're just sharing it to me. Thank you. That's a big and a good way. - So, um-- - Mascola. - Yes, me and me. - You're amazing. - You're amazing. - Yeah, I guess, I guess, me and me. - You always think that I'm like tiny, and I'm like, - Well, we do our whole week. - Oh my, you can always tell. - Oh, yeah, I'm so big. - Sorry. (laughs) - You're a mess. - You're like, we're taking the fish out. - Yeah, sorry, I don't know. These are like distracting. People think they're like doctor suits or something. - I think it's like doctor suits. - That's so funny. We got them like created. We had like an artist like, do 'em from, and at many ways, those are the whole thing. A mess up for me. Yeah, it's even thing one thing too. Okay, I love you guys. Okay, we're just starting right away. I've never seen Trisha more nervous in my life. She was right here. I was rolling before we never rolled before guests come in. I'm like, "Roll, I'm so nervous. I think I could throw up." I'm so nervous. Oscar did a great introduction where he's like, "Trisha's about to meet people. She's bullied online." I feel like I've never met people like, didn't go so hard for, you know, like, hard for like no reason. We reaction on Patreon and like, we had to go like right into it right away, but like I like went so hard specifically on you for like a long time. And I was like, damn, and I would watch those clips and I'm just like, oh my god, I was like so actually angry for like no reason. It wasn't sane to watch, so I think I got really nervous. Like, I met some people, like, a Lauren Gray, who I mentioned, like, briefly, but, like, not, like, she's like, - Maybe I told you. - She's like, I told you. - She's like, oh, she's like, oh, she's so crazy. And it's so crazy. I, I just am, like, all is forgiven. And not only that, it is a shame 'cause me and you would have been friends. You think? I think I was angry and jealous. I felt like I was never in that group. Like, when you guys came along, and I just saw the recreation of 2016 beauty gurus, and I kinda, like, all over again, I was like, damn, I wish I was in that group. Like, it was like, you guys were such a force. When did you start, you guys start at the same time? Kind of. - Yeah, honestly, it's similar very similar times. You started right before I did. - Well, during a year, I think it was 2012 or 13. - Okay, I did 14 years in. - Oh my God. - I know, ancient, we're the same age. - We are? - Yes. - Oh my God, 'cause we're in the age. - Yes, yes. - Which I think everyone keeps telling me to change. When I did the Jersey for high school music class, I couldn't have 88, I'm there like, no, you can't have eight. - No, you can't have eight. 88 is like, I think it's like age age like. - Oh, that's me, I don't know, yeah, I know. - We just months, the year we're born, so it's kind of hard, but yeah, I made a screen name when it was back in 2014. I had no idea. - No, I know, just no. - It's been a year or a year. - Yes, it has sucked that that's our year. But anyways, not trying to get us in again, so. - Again, again, again. - That was all of us, like. - Can I tell you though, I feel like your guys is cancellation, because we did a whole video reacting to YouTube or Apologies and like, obviously, I'm gonna get it and all this like that. And it's like, you guys is like cancellations, like we're so silly, would you say? - Yes. - Okay, you don't take it. - We're here to talk about this like all the time. - We do. - We do. - It's not taboo for us to talk about that. 'Cause I don't, I think when we were like, I go on podcast like, oh, I don't know. I didn't do anything that bad. And then they list like all the things I've ever done. I was like, oh my god, Jesus. - Okay, well, let's cut some of this. Like, I don't remember all this. So, okay, see if I just talk about it. - Yeah, I feel like the reason that it was so insane at the time is 'cause it was like one of the first in the beauty ever. So I think that's what made it so dramatic. - It was the first big one for you to ever. - Your drama get in one. - Yeah, exactly. - So that's why. I think that's why 'cause we're at number one. - Yeah. - So it's so visceral. - I don't get it at first. Or did that name come after drama get in two? - No, it was in the beginning. - Oh, really? - It was the first one, yes. - Who coined the term? - I don't even know it, wasn't it? - It was on my channel. - Yeah, I think it may be here for the team. - Wow, I think it was for the two channels. Can we talk about that? How I feared drama channels for such a lot? - Did you not? - Did you not? - I did. - Oh, I'm beginning. - Hat tease, build tea, all these different tea channels. - She would be asked up weekly. - I need any care. - Yes, I cared a lot, but it just happened for so many years consecutively. That's why you were like, I was so mean to you online. I'm like, dead ass show show. Like, do you think you're the only one? Like, everyone ate my ass online. - Really? - Yeah. - I feel like me. - Oh my god! - I was like, you know, it's like everyone. - I think everyone. - It's different 'cause I was a creator as well. And it's like yeah, creator and creator hate was like, not too much a thing. I was just hating on everybody. I went to one on Tati. I was doing one on everybody. And I was like, Oscar at the time when I was doing it. I was like, didn't even know who she was. Like, I know I did, but just Shane was like, I need her. He was like, telling me all this stuff. And not to blame that on you. Like with you, I think it was just a trend. I think everybody was like. - You know what I'm saying, Dawson, before? - Wow. Callie Ballinger never met you. I've never met any of you before which is crazy because you're so in the world Specific bubble. You guys are friends with Jacqueline still. Yes, who recently just saw that we were at a C's candy chick Oh, that's my C's candy, and I was like I think we're neighbors because I always see her in the area And I was like she's like yeah, we should like hang out, but I'm also scared of me heard nothing. Yeah, I don't know Maybe I don't know I would be obsessed You would be obsessed with each other because you both talk 90 miles an hour I do love her. I have always loved her. I think beauty gurus were like not my thing because I just am not gonna make up Like I could not do my own makeup to save my life like I always get glam I don't even like own makeup. I might have like old makeup that I've never used So like beauty gurus like I had never understood and obviously it came along It was such a big thing and I couldn't I tried I tried makeup tutorials. Oh, there's so about trying to be in that world And I just couldn't so I think maybe resentment probably there maybe a little like jealousy betterness because you guys did blow up quickly So you started 2014 you started 2015 but it was like, but I did it only two and a half years and no one watched me, but it was like one year and we blew up. - And half quickly. - Oh yeah, it seemed like overnight. Were you doing makeup as like a job? - I worked for a dermatologist full-time as a medical assistant and we would cut out skin cancer. But I would do wedding makeup on the weekend, wedding girly. So I was like, I just wanted to be a glam girl. But I was like, Alabama girl. No one is like, you know, beat the hell in Alabama. - Wait, is this accent real? - It's real. - Oh my god, you're so funny. - It is real. - Look at that accident. (laughing) - It is real. - It is real. - It never lost it. It's still there. - It's getting McKayla extra-bossed in here. (laughing) - No, when she goes like visits family, her family is being hurt all like a week later, I'm like, you're back, you're so back right now. It's literally like, oh, bull, I'm a bull. (laughing) - This thing's offensive somehow. (laughing) - And when I do literally say like, oil, it's like, oh, like it's like saying like, and not stations. - You think I have an exam? - I don't have one. - That's crazy. It's like the thickest one. You're like the original Makayla, where I was at the accent was like a lot. Here's like it's a spray art. - I remember like when I was peak like watching Beauty YouTubers, I would always pick up how you would say, "Oh, I would always pick it up." - Well, it's a boy, but all. - Yeah, all. - And where's it? - Alabama, you said Alabama. - Oh my god. - I know. - And then when did you move to LA? - 13 years ago. - So you did YouTube for a year and you're like, "I'm going to LA." - Yep, that's exactly what it was. - And you were married for how long? I was dating my husband at the time of when we moved to L.A. We just went to San Diego. Cindy, I went to a courthouse and just got married and it told anybody, he supported it. He's like, "Let's go to L.A." And it's crazy he supported it because he had just finished getting his engineering degree. She's so smart. He's so book smart. And I barely graduated high school. I graduated at 19. Wow. Barely graduated by like a hair on a horse's ass. And I'm talking about just fell out of college. Just horrible. Then like no one's a youtuber. Yeah, yeah, it was really hard. It's so hard for the beauty invasion. And in Alabama I know it's like sister. Yeah, what are you doing? And my husband was like just he just always thought I could do it I don't know why well you were good. You're gonna make him good. You say make up. That's one thing Those are very good at what did you think when Shane infiltrated the beauty space? I thought it was fascinating And the nicest way. Oh, I thought that was really a giant beauty better Better do you remember that he's like I do remember and the thing is like it was horrific like that's why it makes it really funny It's because it was so bad the makeup make up yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was I thought in a way it was endearing to see him like Yeah, I didn't think he was like appropriating your culture like you just like what are you doing infiltrating this? I was a Shane Dawson fans I mean they were funny so like you too. I was a fan of you Like how could we not be like you guys have been in the internet? Oh my god. Okay. Love that. Thank you Think of like online you think of Trisha Payton You're so now I feel even worse. Like, I was like they're probably bitches. They're probably whatever I'm like you're so sweet And then I was like god damn it. She wrecked my ass. Well, then you know, I honestly never hated you I was never like oh Trisha Paytas, but I'm telling you is because so many people wrecked me So it's like you know what I mean? Yeah, you can't just be like yeah one person got me Everybody for years. What do you look back at that because I think it really was like the apology video where people kind of came the heart That's when I like yeah, that's when I found you I found you from like that apology video and everyone was just like fake tears and then me just being like fake tears We don't like it. It's like crazy because I was like the most canceled person at the time like I've been so canceled So it is kind of like what are what am I even doing? But did you think do you look back now that apology video because honestly, I wasn't bad We're watching it. I'm like I kind of feel bad like I could feel the sincerity and I was like damn people ripped you apart for apologizing You're the only person publicly online who has ever said they felt bad Watching us like she's feeling sincere because we would watch in comparison to like a Logan Paul apology or something like that I was like you're giving sincere. It's like I don't know why people came so hard and you were at least apologizing like even if it was fake If people thought I was fake, at least it was giving some accountability for something you felt bad about which is crazy. I I feel like I had a mental break online and filmed it and uploaded it Yeah, and I just feel like that's what that was like me and it should I've done it No should I've been uploading should I be filming at that time? No, but when the whole world's coming down you apologize so many times But it's not in video form so they're never gonna stop and you need apologize and I always intend on apologizing I should have waited yeah and waited until like the whole world wasn't crashing down on me and like took a breath Took a step back and that showed like Coherently spoke to camera. Yeah, and I didn't because I'd never dealt with anything like this in my whole entire life And I've always gotten hate and talk about drama channels all the time you know that but not like this like not to this Gravity and so I think I turned the camera on and how to psychotic break I do Yeah, and I wrecked myself works and I didn't even like all of it after I uploaded that I People really why aren't you take it down immediately? It's because I got off line. I deleted the apps on my phone Okay, so I didn't know like all that was that's good. That's my good Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really sad and it's dark and the thing is like you guys watching because I know Laura like to the Instagram and like it's the most like sincere she could ever be and like that's how like she gets emotional I was like there's like like that is literally like the real her like you people I wanted to say like it's not real tears Like you're not crying. It's like no, she's crying like that's like how she cries like I'm telling you like so I felt like I was really like no, it's all genuine. It's all real. We we were having like mental breaks because we didn't really know what to do Like it's never happened in our space either and I don't think it's being dramatic at all to say that I think like the times where I felt that same way as times when it's like you feel like not only is a whole world crashing down But you just moved to LA so that's like your everything is like dependent on this it feels like your whole career Your livelihood was gone and that's when people feel those thoughts is because they think they have nothing left and there's no Going there and that's it's really sad. It's really sad because it was just this beauty thing it got blown out of proportion everything and when I look at your guys It's like cancellations are the reasons for it's just like, you know obviously Stuff it gets brought up, but it's like in comparison to like people like hurting people currently You know what I mean? It's like not things from years ago It was really sad and watching for you to feel that way, especially if you had a husband So you had some support and you still thought that way is like really scary. Yeah, you know I like everything in like two weeks. Yeah, you know, so what did you lose in the cancellation like sponsorships my brand? Was kicked out of every store and all these stores had placed massive orders, which I paid for out of pocket, you know So it scared me I bought a house a few much prior brought my first home. I lost every brand deal. I mean like everything. Oh, it's your brand And this is not the because you came out with it's this is your first brand or it was yep because it was you had Laura L.A Yeah, I'm sorry. Okay, so it was that the Lurley Los Angeles Yeah, and it was in what stores it was in the Morphe stores and then we were going into Ulta But we never made it into Ulta which was nice and Ulta was really like cool about it They're like hey, we're just gonna like hush about it and just wash it and I was like fair game But all this happened within two weeks So I totally just had like a complete and total mental break All right, you know, but world felt it just so quickly and I as a human being had never experienced this level of hate Yeah, you know, even my family they've had my family's phone numbers. We're threatening to kill them You know, I was so I was like this is like over what it was over It's just like this is like a lot for one human being to take on. Oh my god It's a lot that he is a lot That's why even on like this podcast we guys do the same kind of thing go take to hot topics It's like I try not to go hard on any what yeah, and also like not throwing stones when like everyone lives in a glass house Because it's like we see it all happen all the time on the internet like karma obviously I got mine I got mine so many times and at some point you have to look at yourself same thing when I did like the front of me Spokas and that was like we were coming so hard at people like judging and it's like damn It really does come back around and get you because skeletons and everyone's closet everyone has old tweets that are not good And it's yeah, and I like that you take a kind of ability. I will always apologize forever for all the stuff I've done to a hundred percent like I'm so not a perfect person Yeah, I've been an idiot so many times in my life and I deserve to get canceled a hundred percent Yeah, like I've also surrounded myself with people who are gonna get me up and cancel out there. Yeah, that was a choice That's a good lesson as well. I think I was also I think I was also the toxic person thing anyone around me was getting canceled too And it's like yeah, you have to realize as if the people around you is it you I was like maybe I'm the problem and then you like re-brand it So were you getting canceled at the same time, I'm like we should at the same time So did you guys talk to each other or you guys were just isolating separately for a little bit. We isolated We did have an isolation in the beginning in the beginning. We were like, okay, cuz it grew legs like at first You know, it's like we're canceled once again. We were canceled every week at that point Yeah, so we're like because of drama get and so drama gonna start all this. Yeah, so for me like it became like a man He was like a bad friend to people like he was like not like a social climber and like he He always wants to be friends with like someone that's popular and then he moves on to the next popular person Wait, that was your cancellation. That's mine. Mm-hmm. That was the friendship fallout. I had like a friendship fallout with like people and so Because like I was like not like I guess for me retrospectively looking back I can understand why people might have thought I was not a great friend in times because I Was such a people please are growing up that I had a problem with confrontation and I wouldn't really talk about my issues with someone So I feel like those times when like I was having a problem and I wouldn't really communicate it and I would distance myself So I was like okay, I can understand like why people might feel like I wasn't a great friend in a moment But that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I might not have like a bit of what's a communicate while I was hurt about something But that doesn't mean I'm trying to be a bad friend to you. You know, you have like the same friend group, too Yeah, like the thing is to I think that when people think about my old friendships as well They think that like I was some type of mooch or like leeching off of someone when they weren't getting something from me But I'm like at the end of the day like a friendship online benefits both ways. It's not just me That's going to benefit from having this online camaraderie It's all of us and it's the whole group and it's this duo like everyone Yes, yes, yes, and like it was more so like Not only that it was like our like a friend group and it was like there was a bunch of us that were just always Constantly showing each other and like me and Patrick star were friends back in the day and we had a huge falling out at the time as well And so it was like two for two it was two for two and so people are like oh, yeah, like you didn't You are a bad friend. It's you and it's like oh my gosh you guys and the thing is when you're in the midst of a heat like that You don't really want to like defend yourself that much you kind of want to be like you know what like get to fall in the sword It's a fall in the sword. Yeah, I kind of want to be like I'm gonna be introspective here And I'm not gonna act I'm actually gonna take time off and see like where I went wrong. You didn't say anything right away Yeah, I apologize, but like I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't apologize. Yeah, I was in crying But I definitely was like I was doing my due I didn't know this is a thing but like we I was in the hoodie So yeah, I just had to apologize for you know being a bad friend to these people that you know felt like I was a bad friend I was like and I'm gonna be the time for us and where I'm going to be introspective and I'm going to try and like for me I actually feel like I learned a lot and I we talked about this often that like if we didn't get canceled at the time Maybe we wouldn't have changed for the better like genuinely. I think about that all the time And I'm like it's so easy when you're soaring high going 100 miles a mile like nothing to to stop you because Everyone's like a yes man around you. You're like bitch. I was like everyone's like you're so sickening. Yes go go But when you hit rock bottom and no one's there to tell you that it's like Maybe I didn't wow that's pretty good. You learn that just from your one cancellation. Yeah I was like 33 and I was like maybe it's me maybe I'm the problem - That's amazing that you were able, especially specifically that one is kind of crazy. I didn't really realize that was your cancellation 'cause it's like, you had to apologize for like, collabing with people. Yeah, it's like, 'cause that is what it is. Obviously me and Shane as well. It's like, of course he was the more popular one and I got subscribers, but like, obviously I was like the crazy sexual one that got views to, so it is a two- - Totally. A two- - But they want to be like two, like, you're climbing Shane and you're on his back. And it's like, but I wasn't doing that though. - Yeah. - Though it's like, we're friends too, like, it's not like, it's like, I'm also like, I feel like I knew at the time too when I was like, the smaller creator. I'm not gonna be the type that's like, let's film, let's do something. Like, I'm not even asking, like, I'm being asked. - Yes, yes. - So like, what the (beep) like, I'm not even gonna get asked. So like, how are you gonna say that I'm the climber when you're asking me in a phone? - That's true. You were like the cute twink, can I use that? I don't know. - Really? - 'Cause you're so big now. - We can't say that. - We can't say that. - I'm like, broad. - Yeah, yeah. - I've always been broad, but I have been twinkier. 100%. I just throw up actually, we're twinkier. - Damn, you're trouble. - The trauma you get, 'cause you're like, I didn't want to be like a girl. Oh, it's so funny, 'cause it's like, damn, these people that say this stuff to you, it like really like resonates with you. - It was a more man. - So like, it was a very difficult transition for me to like, come into the space that I'm in. Like, I had to really, really, really hard come, like kind of come to Jesus who I was. It was like a person. So like, I had a lot, it was a really long journey to get to like, even where I'm at, because I didn't have someone to look up to, and I was like, kind of like very, I hated myself so much for so long, and like, try to pray the gay way for so long that like, it wasn't until I had social media that I was like, oh my God, like, I'm not like crazy. Like, I found people that liked me for who I was, not like for my hidden self. - Thank you so much to no CD for sponsoring today's episode of Just Trish. This is a really important episode to talk about this. So I really started struggling with anxiety later in life, and I thought, oh my gosh, my anxiety. Like, this can't be this bad for everybody. I realized that my anxiety was also a bigger part of OCD. Sometimes we think of OCD as the stereotype. It's like obsessive, cleaning, or obsessive, organizing, and it's like, well, I'm none of those things, but it's so much more than that. Specifically, my intrusive thoughts. I think I just thought of it as something really scary and something I just had a live with, but I was truly ruining my life. These intrusive thoughts and the anxiety, and I just didn't know I would try breathing exercises or I try regular talk therapy and I just wasn't doing the trick. When I realized I was a part of a bigger diagnosis like OCD, I was able to get the help that I needed. No CD provides treatment for OCD. It provides specialized treatment for OCD. You can learn to manage your OCD symptoms so you can live the life that you want. Your OCD symptoms can be manageable and it's not something you have to do alone. You can download the OCD app and join the No CD community. It specializes in exposure therapy, ERP therapy, which is exposure and response prevention therapy, because sometimes talk therapy doesn't really help OCD. It can help a lot of the other symptoms and breathing exercises can help anxiety, but when you really do the ERP, you're really doing the work for specifically OCD. And anyone can succeed in spite of their OCD and that's where no CD wants to help. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, no CD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started at learn.noCD.com/trish. That's learn.noCD.com/trish. That's n-o-c-d.com/trish. Thank you so much to No CD for sponsoring today's episode. You were kind of, and not to trigger anyone, but were you before Team Charles? Okay, so you are the original boy. I'm like, yeah, I'm a Patrick star with the two original boys at BD. Wow, oh, that is so long. So we were really, and it's funny because at the time, like 10 years ago, it wasn't like a thing, right? Like, boys and beauty wasn't a thing, and we were never taken seriously, and people didn't really give a f-. They actually didn't like us. Rats were like, this is weird. They thought it was a fad. And so my manager, the genius that she is, she was like, we're gonna like, I'm gonna pitch you together. And they're gonna get two boys for one girl. You're a Patrick. Wow. And that's kind of how it was for years for us, because everything that we did, we were almost pitched as a duo instead of it being like individual, 'cause it was kind of like, we had to kind of get our names out there, but they didn't respect us. But you like work together. I think that's like another thing too. If you always are like in competition, like we're like the same age, we're the same, and then it's like, oh, I'm in competition, but then we're working together. No, we were like, girl, we gotta like figure this out together. Do we are good friends? And so, okay, send your friends now. So everything is like-- It's all good. We like to have to come for a circle. 'Cause I remember when the drama get in happen, were you out of two? I wasn't in a business. I sure was. I was like, I remember when I built, I was like this like, they did it, each one of you would story about like-- I'm drawn on the beat of community. The beat of community. Did you not remember? No, I didn't, I didn't remember. Yeah, you didn't remember. Oh, thank you. Yeah. They were asking me questions in 2020 about this, like, so, Patrick Star, when he came along, I knew nothing about any of this, but they're asking me to come and take it. And I was like, what is this? I was like, why am I here? I'm here. (all laughing) I'm not even a video viewer. No, I didn't know. I didn't know. Obviously, Patrick Star, so huge and you guys are huge now. But I didn't, I really was just unaware. I remember you guys did a wedding video together. You guys were like a group. I promise. I promise. Was it else? Was that who you did? No, we did it with Glanglo. Glanglo was like a skincare line. And we did it. And he was like, let's do it. But for years, we thought that we were like dating and we thought we were actually not marrying. Did you guys play into it? You know what? Oh, he did. I'm like, you know what? I'm a little bit. Until we have like kind of like fallen off friendship wise, we played into like the duo thing because we kind of feel like we had to for a long, long time. Like we had to. Did you ever have a crush on each other? I never had a crush on Patrick. He was just like my duty. He was just like my sister. I'm actually never had a crush. And there had a crush on any like the good friend, like boys that I've been in friends with. Because for me, if I like you as a friend, like I can't be your friend. If that makes sense. I can't be your lover. I can be your sister. I can be your duty. I'm confused. As a gay person, maybe I was like, I don't know if you can erase him. I was like, when you have a hot gay friend that you're like, you get confused sometimes, like. Do I like you or do I like you as a friend? But you didn't feel like that with Patrick. I didn't, because they were just like my sisters. Same with like like being friends with Joey too. Like obviously Joey is like attractive. But like I'm not attracted to him. Yes, because that's like your girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a way, it's like you have a sister. Yeah. I was always attracted to every male friend. Shane. Really? Yeah, Shane. He's in my blood. He's in my blood. Shane. I don't know that. I'm in so fear of Shane. I'm in the same town. We're like, does any guy think his attitude to me? I know you're so cute. I thought we were like dating. He let my house to like, sickly. I'm like, wow, he's in love with me. It's confusing though. Like when you have like that friendship, sometimes they can get confused. And when you're like, I'm single, you're single. Why aren't we dating? Like, what's like, why wouldn't we? That's how I feel all the time. Yes, that's why I wondered with that friendship. Okay, but you guys kind of like tease a lavender marriage here and there. We do. Yeah, just to play with our-- It's just fun because we've stayed friends. We never, even in the midst of our cancellation, no matter how bad it got, we never were not friends. We never know. We have never liked time. We're going on another night. Never forgot one another. No matter how bad it got for me or for him, or whatever people said, we never, the only thing is like in the midst of when we were like offline, like we're getting destroyed out there. I think you were checked into a hospital. I did. Really? For mental health? Oh my gosh. I had gone in a really bad panic attack and cases of panic. And so I had to go to the ER because I was having heart palpitations. I had fainted. For me, when I have a panic attack, I actually have full body like fainting spells. Oh my gosh. So that's like my panic. It's like more of a physical one. I'm throwing up and I can't stop. And so I go to hospital a couple of times. And I remember taking photos of my little wristband, and I'm like, damn, good sucks. I'm literally in here because they got us so good. That's a 20, what is this? 2018. So this is like almost 10 years. Yeah, almost 10 years. Oh my gosh. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like it was yesterday or 20 years. I don't remember. Because quarantine did such a reset that is like everything changed for everyone. It did. It was like a full upside down. It was so insane. So 2018. That is wild. I think we're almost in 2027. Yeah. Yeah. So it was 10 years ago. Yeah. So we were both like going through the gate. But I remember. So we were like not talking every day because our back that we were just like destroyed, like not the end of the whole thing. Later on, I'm like-- I can do it. No. So after we had kind of taken our own little breaks, we had like face him and I was like, you can [INAUDIBLE] Oh my sister. I don't even know how to even get the apps on my phone. That's great that I did that. And I did the same thing. It saved me. It saved me in like in a few months later. I was in a position where I was able to like get myself where I could come back. And I knew like the war I was going to like face whenever I did, but it like put me in like mental strength because I got out of it. But I do remember like, you know, at this time, like the friendship falling out was a huge part of our cancellation that people don't talk about enough. Like that was like a huge part of it. That was the thing that people were so angry about. It's one of those things where like you pissed someone's fan base off and then they look-- They're fine, that's what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's literally what happened. We pissed off his fan base and then they were like attached something to it to the stories. Yeah, so like of course, the crime is like bad. But it's like amplified by people who aren't even affected by it to be on it. Yeah. It literally won't want something to use against you. And no one talks about that enough. Yeah, but that's true. And that's like, but you know, I feel like people have gone to cancellations with people. That's like what you're really getting canceled for. It's like their fan base and their people and that's actually what floods. But they didn't have the information of like what we did. You know what I mean in the friendship. So it was like attached things to it. And it just all blew up. You're just horrible. But I remember at that time, you know, at this time, I'm wrecked online. He's wrecked online and I'm trying to figure out who I'll ever be able to show again on my social media. Who I'll ever be able to be friends with again. And I remember no matter how bad it got, many hit me away. No matter how bad, no matter how shitty people do this, you never, and neither do I expose anyone. You never tweeted about anyone. You never liked to shady, tweet about everyone. And I knew for the first time I like to be a special friend. And were you doing the same? Yeah. Oh yeah. You guys never came for any of them. No one. Never did anything. It might be a little testimonial. So you guys have always been so nice. Like even, I think I interviewed you guys when I was at NBC or something. And you were always so sweet. And then even when I was friends with Joey, always treated me like a normal, regular person, because some Colleen did not. - And you guys were all we was real about. Like you treated me as if you knew me forever. - I meant, but the second I met you, I automatically got like, that's my deal of vibes. - Yes, immediately. - And the Lord is the same, 'cause she's like, I love Oscar. I'm like, yeah. - Yeah, he's too. - He's gone hard for you guys. - Yeah. - He's like, I love them. I was like, do we, I don't know. - The gap, yeah. - I didn't know. I didn't know what to get out of the club. It was nice I watched him back at some. I was like, do we? - Yeah, I didn't know. I thought they're enemies. - No, he's out with ya. - And Lord, I think I interviewed you right before it happened, and I remember seeing, like, everything unfold. And I remember Demi, he was like, girl, like, if you ever need someone, like, if you want to. - You were one of the very, very, very few that reached out to me. - I remember feeling so bad for you, 'cause I understood, like, that you were not the person that was in the tweets. Like, I just knew that. - Yeah. - You know, just from like, being with you, and I felt so bad. That's why I always thought that one time, one of the handful of times, I was like, really, opposing Trisha was in the video. I was like, this is the lower one, I was like, you kicking a girl out, she's a bad one. - Yeah, that was a bad one. The top team one too, I don't even know her, I don't know if who even like her, she's a good person, but I don't bet on that one too, 'cause I was so angry. I just was like screaming at everyone, I was like, down, that one I did feel bad too. There's a certain times I felt bad, and definitely, you're, but yeah, I was like, what the hell? Like, I was like, going out throwing people, but Oscar's always on the right side of his tree, like, oh my god, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are. - That's always in two. - I never claim it because the second, it's like, you know, this, you claim someone-- - I've already claimed it for you. - Yeah, yeah. - Because I feel, I've always liked you, Oscar so much. - Wait, so that was a popular opinion, you are on the right side of his tree. - Always. - He's always on the right side of his tree. - I mean, that's, I owe everything my rebrand now, my third act of this time to ask, because he really like, steers me in the right direction, and if I'm off a bad path, like, he'll just be like, well, just edit that out, or really, it'll tell me to, like, because that's not like the right take, which is good. - It's the last episode, I was like, me, well, where are my friend, and he's tanked up, he's like, maybe don't do that, I was like, okay. (laughing) - So he's got, he's like, good, especially, and then with you guys too, I think when, I think we did, like, did we do it back and forth on the podcast where we talked about you guys, and then you guys talked about us, and I was like, I'm so scared these days to, like, see what anyone says, 'cause I'm like, I really do be talking so much, and stuff like that. I had to, like, ride it back, but then he's like, no, no, they're like, really, like, nice, and then I was watching you guys as a podcast, I'm like, oh, they're, like, great people, I'm like, good, I see. - I was gonna ask that, so, like, you were saying, now, who you could show online, and who you couldn't, has that affected? You guys, being scared to join another fandom, or collaborating with other people in the future, like, has that affected you? - Like, other type of group? - Yeah. - You know, I feel like what we do now is, like, we do a lot more stuff of real life. Like, does that make sense? Like, I'll hang out with Laura a lot, and we're not really showing it, because, like, we facilitate, like, more, like, good friendships in, like, real life. And then it's like, what shall we hear in there? But now, as the years progress, I don't feel like-- - We're also old and tired, so we're only hanging out with each other. - I don't even want-- I genuinely don't even want to be-- - I would never heavily attach myself to another influencer, though. - Ever. - Yeah. - Ever. I'll never do it again. I mean, besides him, that ship has-- - I'm going too far, though. - Yeah, I'm going too far, though. - I'm going too far, though. - I was like, I love-- at least you have that one person. That's literally why I started JustTrish, 'cause I was like, I cannot do another smart thing you've had to ask. - I think it's true. I really do. - It's like, Trisha, it's like something to be commended. I think you've done such an amazing job. - Thank you. - It was more out of, like, I think you just always went to shit, and I was like, okay, I need to just, like, do my own. And then, like, luckily, I have Oscar. And now, he's an influencer. He just signed with our agency. - Yeah! - That's amazing. - No, he gets so many brand deals. Every time I'm, like, looking at his vlogs, every vlog sponsor. - No, you're really mad at me all the time. - He's, like, grand save. - You really are. It's really amazing. So I wish you deserve it. - I'm so f---ed. - I wish you deserve it. - How did you guys meet? - We met through Patrick's Star. - Yeah. - And, like, we had-- - What side of the reason you guys quit me first? - That was awesome. - What happened? - It was even longer ago than Trump again. - Oh, this is literally, like, you guys, this is, like, 11 years ago. Like, this is, like, such deep-cut history. - Okay. - But, yeah, like, you guys were really good friends. - Me and Patrick are good friends, you and Patrick are good friends. - And then, you became good friends, but we just clicked. - We, like, we met, and, like, we threw him, and then we had went to an event together, actually. And we were, like, I feel like we just vibe. And, like, then, that day, I go, "Do you feel like we vibe really well?" - Yeah. - I think we do. - I think we do. - You invited me to the Dirty 30 premiere. - Yes. - Who were the girls that created that f---ing? - Dirty 30. - Dirty 30. - I was putting in a-- - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - That was awesome. - That's amazing. - I also came for that. I was going for everybody. I was like, "That was so jealous." - I was like, "Oh, and she was like, "I got 'em too." - They did two movies. I was like, "What the f--- are they doing over there?" - I was so bitter, so I remember. I was like, "Actually, you know everything about that." - So you were perfect for me. - We went there, and we went together. - I was like, "I feel like you'd be like, fun to go with." - Yeah. - Oh, my. - And genuinely, we've been in separate places. - And we never stopped being friends since that night. - That night. - That way it's such a good night, and I felt like, sometimes, you know, you can just meet people, and you're like, "I feel like we're kin in a weird way." - Yeah. - I feel like we're cut from the same cloth. - That's how we thought of you. - Where did you grow up, Manny? - San Diego and Chula Vista. - Oh, that's crazy. Oh, so did you guys meet when you were living in San Diego? - He was living in San Diego when we met. - I was in San Diego when we met. - And I was driving up from my house for events. I was driving up from Chula Vista trying to make it. You know what? I was doing these things where I was like, "I'm going to just drive up these three hours to go to one of them and drive back three hours too." to like I was doing that were you living in San Diego to then at the same time Riverside was the reaction I always got there was like did you go up and visit her and Riverside I would drive up so that we find the motella we're like yeah this is where you meant where did you guys first live in L.A. we're just together in L.A. I lived in Westwood and I got a little apartment in Westwood and Patrick Star I got him his first apartment so he lived like with me and we filmed the Brindant Shirley show which is so you code I loved it and I remember those back in the day and you guys were like above each other right I remember the apartment make kind of see and then you guys like yeah I was like following back that I was like yeah that was so funny yeah the building could I just see them both oh that is and then you don't want to move into the building too I'm good I'm gonna stay in my place in Hollywood I didn't like Hollywood though either like when I moved out here it was too busy it was too intense I moved from I literally went from like living with my family when I was like 24 to moving to Hollywood like I just didn't know what to do I just thought that's what you did at 24 at 24 I just moved by myself you're younger you're younger than us so are you like Oscars age are you in your early thirties I'm like 24 so I'm like now I'm gonna miss like I think we all had gloves just like we were just talking about this and I was like is that just something like Millennial say like we look so much better now or do we I think we'd care more about like like we care I think millennials of the first generation that started to carry what they felt like and looked like yeah the skin care like both like everything like you doing the resources people to like me better if I was pretty or back then it's true people are pretty or better people pretty people what that's you but you're always skinny so at least you had that we're saying when you get skinny who was skinny skinny and now they like are they treat you better yeah they treat you better yeah it's a whole thing yeah so you're always pretty whenever I have ugly face on YouTube I did yeah always pretty okay yes what do you think was the main glove for you because I think you look exactly the same like I feel like you've glowed up too though yeah I feel like that that's him with me I feel like I started working out and I was like I feel like better the inner glow coming yeah yeah I think I agree I remember going to Botox and this line down my hair back dark like there were things okay really good teeth are real not real here's our not really six vineyards oh my god both of your teeth it's you know you better like never get in there's so white you guys white in them she whines hers I can't write in when you have any years really look at their stay white all day just what they are ever had a tooth pop out never okay my teeth I wanted to fill in my gabs so I had big gaps my teeth I wanted to fill in my gaps so I just have did you have like things on the sides because of it the club happens but I also have done so many things I have a hair transplant I've gone like the whole I told the full like she'll always pop me I want to do it's like the shots okay I'm always a type person I'll try anything he will he loves search I love love I didn't love that you're so open about it too they're super open I got a BBL ten years ago you got a BBL I got a BBL in 2016 which is crazy because like that a BBL is like work like again a thing like it just wasn't a thing oh why did you want such a big butt you know it's funny so I and high school I felt like I was like I have like a cue body I have like a nice ass I got really sick in high school when I was a senior I got hepatitis A like I had gotten it's basically like a softer version of hepatitis word like you Basically like if you're eating food that's been like tampered with or like it's unsafe. I'm like lost I think I have like lost like 35 pounds in a month Whoa, and it was like I got really sickly and I have like stretch marks and I lost everything So I was kind of like from then on I was like I feel like I want to like get my ass back And like I want to like do things so that is like kind of the reason why I wanted to get it But I was it was the first surgery I've ever gotten and it's crazy because people always say like your first surgery ever was a BBL and I'm like I know I don't know why I decided to do that But I did and no one knew it was like super dangerous Yeah, because people asked you now like we actually just talked about it yesterday We talked about it. She's like would you get a BBL now knowing what you know, and I'm like I don't think I would Yes, I think they look crazy. I also didn't mind that went down a little mind I got the light bulb where they transfer the belly was so flat and it was like yeah It was because mine was a really wide, but it wasn't like a bubble I kind of like I kind of hate it now. It's gone down a lot because yours gone down like sitting on it Like is because they always say like you have just like a normal looking me be like it's very like you never know But I always say it's like no, it's because I work out now so I have like muscle myself as well Yeah, so it's helping me like keep like what I had so it's not like huge, but it's like good proportions Yeah, because the big bills are the big butts are kind of out now I was also never the girl that I like got the hippie like I was like no I can't go That makes sense because you're a girl Yeah, I was ever the boy that wanted to have like you thank you so much to Alipop for sponsoring this episode of Jess Trish Their new pomegranate sparkle flavor is so good and perfect for the holidays. Let's crack one open Cheers to the holidays Refreshing. Oh, I love Alipop. I've been on that Alipop train for a while, but out there new holiday Cans are just so cute and festive. I love it so much as pomegranate is so so tasty It's just like a fun little fizzy drink. We're about to have a holiday party And we're all just like I'll buy that Alipop life. Okay, I just don't love the taste of alcohol I have a lot of sober friends and Alipop is just a fun way to drink some beverages and just have a good time and just a fun Holiday way Alipop has a new limited edition that's right just in time for the holidays is pomegranate sparkle was six grams of fiber We always talk about protein and how we're getting our protein, but what about that fiber? 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You know, I feel like I've talked just so many like one second to think of the hell like Dous You know Dous Dous is when he was 18 he was like our fifth guest. He was great. We love Dous I love it. We just are huge fans of him and Jesse is another Dous is a child by the way. He's 21 It sucks me. I didn't know he said he when he was on the podcast. He just turned 18. I'm like So I feel like in a way it's like I am friends and like we're acquaintances, but I do feel like sometimes because they are so much younger like that generation is so young. I'm not like that close. That's probably good. I'm just not I feel like in a way it's like it's nice for me to see other men in the space like come up in a way because again It's like I always like talk about this and you know the this talking about beauty in the way of like men being included but never taking over You know and I think that like it's been a comic conversation the whole like like the boys like where are the boys kind of conversation And it's like no I always want women to be the forefront But it's nice when boys are included because it gives visibility to people and it gives them a slightly like different point of view And that's why I always found really really important because I'm like no no no the reason I even keep my facial hair and a beard is because I want people to be like that's odd Yeah, and think about why it's a little odd Yeah, and like to go forward. So I've been able to do these crazy cool collaborations with these big brands And it's like it's so nice because you're showing me to an audience that might be like I hate gay people Yeah, it's not a choice. Yeah, you know, so I think that is what's really important about the space So I whenever I see beauty boys coming up, I'm like I hope that they just make it and like keep doing what they're doing And just like moving up forward because I want it to be very spread out. Yeah, you know, it's like visibility I think visibility is just so important in our space. And I feel like it is right. Do you feel that way now? Like I think in 2006. It's like totally like 100% yeah Yeah, totally all the boys in the beauty. Yeah, and you never think now when you like go down the street or something Did you guys ever work at Mac? We guys ever? I did I wanted to us to scared. Oh really? You never wanted it because you remember back in those days like Mac was like Everything If you were a Mac artist You were the good Mac girl. Yes You did which Mac story was I worked at mostly I was a freelancer by worked at Plaza Venita in San Diego like the most like that's like Well, is that a fashion value or no? It wasn't that Plaza is like super like in like National City Like a lower Chulavista and I worked there for like a year. I was freelancing for a year after I worked at Sephora for a year Oh my god. Yeah, the Mac people were everything Ronny who's also friends Patrick. He was a Mac person Yeah, yeah, I said my very good friends. I'm here. He's amazing. Yeah, he's so talented. He's so talented And so I remember when I found out he worked at Mac. I was like oh my god, because I was like did you guys? I mean it was kind of everything and I still love Mac. I still love Mac today. I think it's like so cool But who is she today? This is Ari. Ari is one of my favorites. Yeah, she's really pretty. I've known her for like 14 years Thank you so much. I cannot do my makeup my daughter Malibu does makeup and she's very good. She's so my baby name Malibu - That's what then I wanted, that's what then I wanted. - That's what then I wanted. - That's what then I wanted, that's what then I wanted. - That was such a crazy arc line 'cause for you, the arc line's like your life, but like I remember, you are writing a book 'cause your story, 'cause it's your, so your niece, did you adopt her? She came to live with you when she was in high school. - She came, okay, so my sister always struggled with drugs, and my niece, I saw that that was going very downhill, but I had legal custody of her, so I would take her in the summer. So the summer she was 14 years old, she came and lived with me, and then I had to send her back, which was really important because I was trying to get my sister to sign her over to me. 'Cause you can have them sign so I can put her into school here, and she would have a message for so bad off at this time, it was just like, it was an actual court battle. - It was, so it turned into a fool, so I had to send her back for, I think, like, three or four months, and then I had hired a lawyer in Alabama, and I would just fly back and forth and go to court, and I won her. So, yeah. - Oh my gosh, what year was this? - 2018 when I got canceled. - Oh, dude, this is happening, this is happening in the midst of that. - It always blew up my court case, 'cause I didn't want the judge to Google me, or look me up, 'cause it was like, I was deemed the demon from hell, so I was like, oh my god, if this judge looks me up, he's gonna be like, this is not fair. - They're like, we're not gonna get LA to you. - Oh my god, so imagine, like, I'm like, that is insane. - Yeah, so you won her in 2018? - In 2018. I won her, I did the court case in December 2018, and then January 2019, she came in with me, 'cause I won, and she was able to move in in January. - What? - And you put it in school, you enrolled her? - And everything, yep, so she was 15, she's in December, she turned 15, and then so she was 15 when I got her. - Was it a natural thing for you, 'cause that is crazy, to have just, like, a teenager, I know it's your family, but just come, like, all of a sudden, live with you in your game. - You're the sole provider in. - And, like, flipped our world's upside down, and also, Erin's a very sweet kid, you know, there's, like, bad kids with shit heads, and, like, always getting in trouble with stuff. She wasn't, like, that at all, but there were a lot of problems because of what she was coming out of. - Yeah. - She had all Fs in school, like, I mean, it was a really rough situation, so that transition, we just show her, also, like, a lot of hard love, because she never had to do anything, or whole life, because she was just, like, floating through life on her own kind of, you know, like, none. - Yeah. - Like, truly, none, so we're, like, no bitch, you gotta go to school every day, and I was, like, you have to pick a sport, or you have to pick an activity. - Wow. - Like, no matter what, because I was, like, she's the most, sorry, Erin, she was, like, at the time, the most incompetent part kid I've ever seen, and that, it's gonna f*ck you up later in the lives. - For the course. - You know, like, she couldn't even show her toes, she had a lot of, like, issues, so therapy, made her place forward, she had her school structure, a lot of structure in her life, and it really, really, really changed her life. - And how did you know how to do that? - I don't know, I think, I laid back all the time, and by the way, I could have done better if it were me now. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause I think back, I'm like, damn, I could have even done more, I could have done better, but I'm really proud of me and my husband for all these days. - No, it's crazy, you know what I mean? - I like that, so insane to just kind of know that I have three kids, I don't even think I'm that maternal, like, I wouldn't even, like, I'm so bad, like, knowing what's good for them, and, like, all the stuff at that, like, to know it, especially with a teenager, and then also during the cancellation, and this influencer life, like, that, - It was hard, too, 'cause I was, like, wrecked online, but kids would, like, know who she was going to school, so they would bully her in school. - Oh my God. - Dude, my kid just kept playing with me. in my apology video in class. - Oh my god, like kids are cruel. - This is my biggest fear, my kids are out here. - Yes, okay, because I literally wrote the craziest email you've ever seen in your life to that school, and I threatened the school. And I said, if it ever happens again, I'm not gonna call you, I'm not gonna write an email, I'm going to walk into the classroom, and I'm gonna go to jail. - Oh my god, that's so annoying, guys. That's when you want to do what it's your kid? - You're a very smart guy, yeah. - You're a very smart guy, that's what I was like. - Let me tell you the same thing. - Yes, yes, that's what happened to you. - Chris Arkey's just carry red. - Yeah, that was the worst thing. - Carry red, that's her, walk you the way. - Why the video now? - Why now? - That would be me, I would be me 100%. - Right, the door off of that classroom, and I will bust heads open. - Do you remember how I would ask you all the time, I said, how do you know to do this? I would send you messages. I'd be like, Laura, I don't know, I don't understand like how you know to like do these things and how to like, parent, like I'm so confused. - To build confidence and stuff like that, that's a challenge for anyone, that's amazing that you do. - I was always asking her, and she's like, I don't know, I just came, it just, I felt it, but I'm such a Virgo and like a structured person, I'm such a, you can do hard things. Like look at my life, like I came out of Alabama, like the craziest family story ever, and like became who I am, because I feel like I'm just like such a, I don't know, I believe you can do anything. And I believe anyone can do anything, so I hold people very accountable to their abilities. - But that's so important, I think that's the biggest thing, is like yeah, growing up to, I never, it was told, like I could do anything, I just thought like, I couldn't do anything, so I was like, well, I'll just resort to anything, but that's, if kids have that guidance, I always think that, like if they're like, I always tell my daughters, you're so smart, you could be a scientist, like they're dreaming of volcanoes. I'm like, you could be, like, you need that encouragement, 'cause otherwise you end up like me or whatever, you know what I mean, it's, and I think that's so, are you already a book, are you gonna do like a memoir? - So many people have asked me, I feel like I don't know enough yet to write a book. - Girl, you really had a child, like, at 15 year old couple, when you're a son's your life, that alone's the story, your sister? - Do I know enough? - Yeah, it's a different story. - I think you're at, like, we're the same age, I think you're at a good age, 'cause I just wrote my life. - You're right, yeah, I think, yeah, enough knowledge. Sometimes when they're like, young, like, you're 28? No, you're 38. - I'm 28. - You're like, yeah, I said, that's exactly how it's like. - I don't know, maybe you're 10 years younger enough. - I'm like, just like you're so smart, like, kind of, I love that book, you would've read it. (laughing) - Where's my copy? - It's so interesting, 'cause is that the way you grew up, was it, like, hard to, was it, like, not easy? - It was, I just grew up where, like, my dad was an alcoholic from the time I was born, which, I mean, everybody's parents are alcoholic, so I feel like I've heard about it. - Oh my God. - I don't know if everybody knows. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Are you really agreeing? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Not me. - All right. - Not everybody's here. - I'm like, oh, okay. - I'm like, okay. - Nope, not when you know what. - I'm like, crazy. - I'm like, you know what? I kind of did growing up. - Oh, my God. - I kind of thought, like, everybody's life was like this, so I never looked at my life growing up, and was like, damn, we got it rough. Like, I never saw it like that, but then I grew up, and I was like, oh, we are bad. - Yeah, it's like this. - Yeah. - And like, I know, there was no social media back then either. - Exactly. - Exactly. - Exactly. - Yeah. - So also, my mom dropped out at high school at 17 to make her my dad. Like, I never had to go to school, I never had to do anything. We just had to get a job and work. And like, we never had any money, we never had anything. And my sister got pregnant at 16. She had a drop out, and have a baby. It was just, I'm the first girl in my immediate family to even graduate high school. So like, that's the family I came from. And look how far I made it, and like, you know what I mean? So, but growing up in that, I don't know. I just always kind of like, I don't know. My sister used to call me a snob sometimes. I love her now. So I'm not even sure. - Yeah, yeah. - She was like, you're such a snob, and I was just like, I just feel like I, I don't want to say, I'm not better than you guys, but you guys don't act right. - You can do more. - I can do more. You guys can do more, and you don't act right. I hate how all of you act. Besides my mom, me and my mom were best friends. - Okay, so you're still close with now your sister, your mom, your dad. - Mom passed away, dad passed away. Never had a good COVID. - Oh my God. - Freaking COVID, dude. - You got COVID in three weeks. - Oh my God. - Took her life. - Oh my God. - Isn't that crazy? - Oh my God. - Life can be a real bastard sometimes. - You think a lot. - You think a lot. - But this is like, I always think my missteps were because of me and stuff I did to myself, but yours is like life throwing back. - She's that situation, do you have to do that? - There were situations that challenged me. And what really sucked her in that time, though, was my sister, she ended up going to prison after all of this happened. So, and then my mom gets sick while she's in prison. So, it just took so bad because my sister never got to say bye to my mom. I already think that happened while she was in prison, but prison was the best that ever happened to my sister. - Yeah. - Because she-- - Reformed. - I believe in that so much. Yes, sometimes it works, right? - Yeah. - Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It worked for her. - But she's now. She's good, she's done a good path. - Yep, she's in Aaron's Aaron's life? - They're good now. - Yeah. - They talk, they're not like as close, but they're in good terms. And I like that because I always tell Aaron, which I'm always like, I'm her number one supporter, no matter what. And I'm always, I feel like whenever you're young, you always carry this guilt. If you don't talk to a family member, you need to cut someone off because you're young and you haven't experienced cutting off family before. So it's scary. But I'm always like her backbone with that stuff. Like I'm like, dude, whatever you need to do, and I'm like, if anyone's using or doing something, you don't have to talk to them ever again. And that's the rule. But her and her mom talk now, and that makes me happy, because I did explain to her. I was like, if you go through your whole life, terror life hating your mom, that's gonna be like a wait on you. It's gonna be a wait on your chest. And you're gonna carry it. It's gonna ooze out on different things. That lack of like motherly relationship. So I was like, why are your mom's clean? I think it's a really good idea to like, have a little relationship with her, you know? If you want that. - Yeah, and you're like, so they talk. - How old is Aaron now? - She is 22. - Wow. - You have a seven year, I mean like, she's been out here for seven years. - She's still like California. - Yep, she lives with her best friend, and well, I won't say where she lives. (all laughing) - Here's your social. - You're sad, but I'd never want my girls to leave. I'm like, I'm trying to create a house that they never wanna leave, where you think so. - They'll never leave you. - Yeah. - What's your name? - It's their mother. - Yeah, they'll never leave you. - I'm trying, they'll never leave you. - She's like, I want a pink house. I'm like, we'll paint this house. - I'll paint this house. - I don't want them to leave, but it was a hard free to. - It was, and it's very worrisome. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - So one of the best things we ever differ in high school, whenever we got her a car, we got her a little fiat, and it would only go 70 miles, 'cause you know, L.A. is like, baby. - Yes. - The trench is out here, you can get into any trouble, but the car would always run out of battery before she could get too far. - Was it electric? - It was electric. - Yeah, electric. - I love that. - I like no charge, so she could only go in very little space. - See, your intuition is crazy. - It's crazy. - Yeah. - It's crazy. - I couldn't imagine then, then becoming like a mom to a 14 year, I mean, that's like anxiety overload, 'cause kids are, you know, they're pretty contained at this age, but then teenagers are so. - So freedom. - So much freedom. So for example, she was giving back all, it's like, that's a lot, so you felt it right away, you're just like instant. - Kinda, I was kind of a disaster myself, 'cause it was coming off my cancellation then. - You know, so my, it's not right, too. - Right. - Like I was like, step two, but maybe that was fun for her, too. - Yeah. - And Tyler, you're Tyler, too. - Yeah, I'm not saying he's amazing, and he has the most straight-on head. Like I wouldn't have been able to do half of what I'm done without him. - I think that was probably the thing I probably envied about you the most. I'm ever you being married and having a relationship, like really young, and I was just like so jacked into. I remember just being like, I wish I could, because that's all I wanted. I wanted to have anything, and that's one thing like money can't buy. - Right. - And I was just like so jealous of anyone who has like, in a relationship, so I think I was like such a hater on anyone getting married or engaged. - Yeah. - And I never, 'cause I never really had, I never had a serious boyfriend, and I bloated with a boyfriend till Moses. So I was like, 32, you know, I was like, oh, that was like, late bloomer. How about you, and your love life? - Because I just did a dating show, a good night of show, and it's called Don't Date Alone, and they date with their besties. So I would have like, that's why I was like, wait, you better show up in the show. - And I get to have a season two. - Season two. - Season two. - Season two. - We would love you on that show because it was so fun. I got to help like all these people pick like, they're people. So we had everything. We had Polly. We had, we had everybody on there, and it was so fun. So you date with your bestie. The bestie helps ultimately pick the day. And me too, I got to help too. So I was like, wait, you guys should be on it because you're so good. - You're single right now? - I'm single. I actually like, I struggle dating a lot. Like stating for me is not something that is easy. - Wait, why do you think? - Because you're so good looking, you're successful. - I think you're smart. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh, you're a star. - No, you're a star. - I get giddy. I get giddy. - No, you're cute. - Oh yeah. - For me, so I have multiple things. So I think that I haven't avoided attachment style. And I've come to like realize that as my adulthood. Like, I have learned to self-soup from such a young age because of my upbringing. And feeling like I wasn't loved in capacities for who I was. So I learned really young, like that's even why I became successful because I'm the first born of a Mexican household. Where I was like, I have to like, I have to make it work for myself because no one's gonna make it work for me. Essentially, it's how I felt. So I learned so young that I'm like, I have to love myself. So I feel like that has like kind of come with me in my adult life. Whereas like, well, I have such a content life. Like I'm actually like really great, have a great family, have great friends. Like, I don't really need a partner unless I feel like, you know, they're like really with me in that capacity. So whenever I'm dating and like, Laura knows, she hears like my horror stories like genuinely. I'll go through bits where I'm like, I'm lonely. I'm gonna go on five dates in one month. Like, I'll literally do that. And then I'll get so tired and I'll be like almost exhausted mentally. I'm like, I can't date for four months. Yeah. So it's like kind of a cycle. It's like this weird cycle that I go through. And so the last guy like goes dating and I was dating more on the serious side. He ended up being kind of like a mess. Like he was kind of like a disaster in some capacities. And he kept telling me he was a mess. He was like, I have no money. Like, I'm poor, I'm broke. I'm starving actor. I'm starving actor. He was honest. Yeah. No, totally. And the thing is I'm like, he's trying to cover it. He wasn't covering it, which I appreciated. But the thing is I always tell people I'm like, people know about you. What you tell them. So if you keep telling me you're a mess, you're a disaster. I'm never going to, like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I'm going to think you're a mess, you're a disaster. I don't know what you're going to do with your life. That's very true. So I'm going to easily be like, I don't really want to talk to you anymore. Yeah. Because my life is so good. This like I have this like back and forth where it's like I could literally never find love in my whole life and be content at this point. - That's great. - I think about that all the time, where I was like, I think that maybe I'm just not meant to like, find love at that time. And then I don't know if it's me rationalizing like the idea of not trying, you know? - You're happy day to day, and you're a happy person. - I think that's the difference. I was like miserable, and I was just like, I need a partner in order to mean it, and I think, but my sister was very much like that too, and she's like, I actually am so happy, and I think if you're happy, damn, like, - You're a sister. - I have a sister. She just, she's younger. - She's younger, she's 30, she's 35. She just came out, she has her first girlfriend, and she just like, recently came out, yeah, and she was the same. - It's recent, it was recent, like a few months ago. She was the same thing. She's been single for 10 years, so I'm just content. Like, she lives with my mom down the street. She loves it, she loves my nieces and nephews, and she's like, I love this life. Like, I'm so happy, and I was like, great, and then obviously she met her girlfriend, and I was like, well, and then I was like, wait, where did this all happen? And it was great, and now she's like, and love now they want to get married and have kids. - I don't think that's so funny. - That's so cool, I don't ever wanna tell people, like, that you need to be in a relationship to be happy. I feel like it is about figuring out your life for yourself, and then when things happen, you include them in your happiness. You don't, like, happenings doesn't come with them. And I have a friend, or I've had friends in the past where they were only decent people when they were relationships. - Oh, interesting. - And I actually had to kind of like, pull away from the friendship, because I'm like, when you're not with someone, you're kind of a monster. - Thank you so much to Skims for sponsoring today's episode. I just got this Skims set in their holiday shop is open. Oh my God, their sets are so perfect. Loungewear, sleepwear, I kind of use them the same, okay? I'm about to go on a book tour. I am packing skims for everything, for on the plane, for sleep, because at my age, I value sleep. And whatever age you are, you should value sleep as well. My little four-year-old values her sleep, okay? Sleeping is so important, and what you wear to sleep just makes you feel so good. They are so soft. So today, I'm wearing something from their holiday collection, and I love it so much. It's obviously pink and red, and just super cozy. I just absolutely love how flexible fitting it is, how warm and cozy it is, 'cause it's freezing here in LA, and I love it so much. I also got some of their holiday pajamas that are super, super, super soft. I'm gonna wear them in the next one. They have little ornaments on it. It is like the softest fabric I've ever, ever had. And you guys know, I have been a Skims fan since forever, but through my pregnancy, it was so great, because I was going up and down sizes so much. They have a variety of sizes. Everything is so soft. I love the fleece collection. I love their all cotton collection, because it is just the best fabrics. And I think that's what Skims is so popular, obviously. We like love Kim Kardashian, but the brand, the quality itself just holds no matter what. And it's just the best. So you can invest in those really quality pieces that will last you truly a lifetime. I've had my Skims rib dress for like five years. I'm still wearing it to this day. I get the most compliments on it. It's flattering for everybody type. You guys definitely check out Skims today. And guys, if you're looking for the perfect gift for you or someone else, definitely check out Skims.com today. Shopped Skims fits everybody collection, because it fits everybody, which is so wonderful. They're underwear, they're bras, they're bra less, they're tanks, there is something for everyone the basics, the holiday shops, all of it. Check out skims.com today. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we set you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select just trash in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list, the Skims holiday shop is now open at skims.com. Thank you so much to Skims for sponsoring today's episode. I love you guys so much. Truly my favorite clothing brand, check it out today. - Yes. - And you're only happy when you're with someone. - Oh, I feel like this is me. - So I feel like I'm not going to keep going. - But yes, I feel like I know. - So I think it's really important. I try to preach that it's like sometimes the love won't find you in the moment that you think it's going to, but you have to be like happy with like what you have. Like preaching like gratitude and like I practiced gratitude a lot for the last like two years. - Change is your life. - And it changed my life. - It really has, like I was like, I felt like it's easy to be ungrateful and easy to be like, I think this is so annoying. But when I started like thinking about like, wow, like look at the things I've done. Like the people I have in my life, like I have an amazing life. I have an amazing relationship with my family. Like I have a good life. So why would I have like this one piece of my triangle? It might not be there, but I would not not be happy because I don't have that. - I mean, that's the most important thing. I think what you're like grateful for the things you do have and it's like happiness finds you. - Yeah, I really think so. I'm a happy person. Like I would say like I'm a happy individual. Like I like like I'm happy with how things are. It would be cool to have someone. I never would like say that. - Is it so harder to find someone though when your life is so good? - Dude. - Yes. - Dude. - Honestly, I'd think like if anything ever happened to be a mo, I would never date again, 'cause I was like, my life would be tough. - This is the all the time. - I'll never have my life again. - Never, 'cause I, and also like my life is so, no one can enhance it the way Moses does. Like anything I was like, I would be over it. I'd be like, I'm just gonna do it myself, where she made it true. We met, there's such a long story today. (laughing) - What the hell is this like? - I really, I did a dating show podcast and his sister was one of the hosts and then COVID happened. We met two days before COVID. And so I was like, hey, your brother was supposed to apply for this, which was Moses. He saw it on the podcast, DMed me, and then like two days later quarantine happened and we quarantined together. - So, yeah. - We quarantined today? - Yeah. - After two days. - After two days, we went on one day on that Saturday before quarantine happened. And then he was like, we tried to like, we tried to hang out again the next day and then quarantine happened and then we're like, we both didn't have anyone to quarantine with, so we're like, that's, it was like a dating show. We were just like together for like nine months straight and got engaged and, yeah. - Whoa! - What an ups and downs. - It was a lot of success. - This is like, this is a movie, like today is like, "Look at it, look at it, movie about quarantining." And it would be, this. - It was kind of, it was-- - I rock on, it is. - It was cinematic. - I thought it was a lot of stuff, but I was gonna be kidding. - I'm sussing. - I'm sussing, I'm sussing, I'm sussing! - Oscar, come on, you're like, "This is the end of the game." - Oh my god, I just, wait till you're in that book. - Oh my god, oh my god. - It's in the book, I talk about it in there too. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. That's what I was saying. You need to write a book for nothing else for your fans and everyone knows everything, but it's timeline and events and what was happening. - Can you say so many little nuances that people just don't know? - Yeah, I have so many little things. - Of course. - But that's why it's so important. I think to write, I think everyone to write a book was specifically, I love influencer books or something like that, 'cause it's just like, so even hearing your story now, and just knowing that timeline of cancellation, and then you also like getting your daughter's, it's like so wild to see all that. And then obviously you guys, like, the intersection you guys had throughout life, 'cause now you guys have full coverage together. - Yes. - When did this start? Why, it's been a couple years, right? - Yeah, four years. - What? - Yeah, four. - Four. - How crazy is that? - When did you start, what, 20.2? Was that what it was? - Yeah, 20.2. - Yeah, we started 20.2. - Wow. - And we thought, like, was there a man? Yeah, was there a team? - Was there a man in church? 'Cause we don't want more work. We're very tight. - I don't, we're good, bro, please. - Like, I feel like you guys are now getting your second act. - You didn't want it to? - Yeah. - Keep selling, that's it. - Yeah. - And I genuinely, I always, I test out like, I think full coverage is like, really helped us. - It is. It's able to see, I think the cool thing about podcast is, people are able to see you in like a different way. - Yes. - They see us as like any groups, you know? - Yes. - It's like, just like, like, it's in kind of, I'm like, no, we like talk about shit on the podcast. You're getting a different version of us. - Yes. - But those are our teams that were like, you guys like talk a lot. - You need to start podcasts together. - You guys do love, you guys are great, the best talkers. - Yeah. - I'm like, damn, that's great. 'Cause it's like so easy to like talk to you guys and have a podcast. 'Cause like, you guys never talk to each other. - Yeah. - I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. - We get a podcast on our podcast, we're like, guys, guys. - Yes. - Oh my god, we need to come on. Do you guys have multiple microphones? - Oh my god. - Yes, we do. - We're the whole family. - Yes, we do. - Yeah. - We're talking about things, like there's like a different version of us. - Angle of it. - We're also not scared. You know how people are so scared. - I'm scared. - I'm scared. - You're like, I'm scared. - I was more scared. As soon as you guys came in, I was like, I'm so scared. Like why? Honestly, just I felt so bad. I was like, oh my god, I feel horrible. You guys make me feel so much better. But I get scared. I get scared to talk about people and cancellations. You guys are like, not, you said. - Well, it's not that. It's like, it's not that I'm scared to talk about it. I think that it's like, we're just seeing it from a different lens where it's like, I feel like it's good to hold people accountable in aspects because it's like, you know, I think that's actually how a lot of people us have grown. - Yes. - And so many ways, we've all grown because of accountability, but obviously we never go too hard because like you were saying, we know what it's like. So we always like tread lightly no matter how about the cancellation is and we try not to take it too too hard because we're like, we also get our asses tore out of it. - That's what we call rapid fire because it's like, we always do bite-sized things, the perfect. So it's like, we're not doing. - Is there one cancellation or somebody like recently that you do go hard on it and you're like, well, Ethan. - Ethan. - We're shredding. - That's like, we're shredding. - We are shredding a little bit. - We're shredding. - Yeah, we don't care. - Also, I have always, and we've never spoken a word about Ethan because we don't know him. Like, I don't know anything about this dude at all, but I've always told Manny behind the scenes and I said this on podcasts. I've always thought he was a grown ass bully. - Yeah. - Like, just like the constant picking on people that have nothing to do with him. - Yeah. - I've just always just kind of been like, that's so interesting for a grown ass man. - That's the way that I've been. - It's so extreme, you know, so that's just always been so interesting to me to see that. - Yeah. - So I always knew he was just a grown ass bully, and that's what I would say. - So we did go over in. - Yeah. - My new situation is like, there's no defending cheating, so it's like, at the end of the day. - Anyway, that's, yeah. - I would say it was like a net fullmer or something, obviously. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you just can't really like, there's no reason out ever like, defend or be soft on someone cheating. - Yeah. - That's shitty, so I would like to express that. That is a shitty thing to do. - Yeah. And like you said, the bullying of like other creators, I think it was like a relief for so many people when it happened. - Yeah. - And it's like sad. Like, no one's ever excited for someone's cancellation. But then it's like more of a relief. I was like, oh, it's like, I don't have to like, wake up with anxiety. - Were you gagged the second it happened? - Yeah. Were you cute? - Um. - Or were you kind of like, mm-hmm. - 'Cause you know, I mean, I was shocked. - I was like, oh, yeah, people think I'm a prophet, I'm like, no, no, no, I don't think I'm a prophet. - I do too. - No, I'm like, that's fierce. - That's what I do. - That's how I do it. - Yeah, I guess I, I journal, I guess that could be like a spell book. But it's like. - I'm a prophet. - Oh, there we go. - So I do. - And I drop a blood. - Yeah. - I know. - I know. - He's like this. - That's what we do. - Her and Joey did pee around, didn't you pee around the house? - Yeah, I'm gonna go home. - Yeah, he has the little protection. Like you do pee around the house. - You know how Joey gets along with you. - Joey, Joey, Joey, Joey. - That's Joey. - That's Joey. - That's Joey. - That's Joey. - That's Joey. - Yeah, he has protection spells. - The stones. - Which is I think. I think the detective that way has like three. - Joey's move with his hand. - Yeah. - And then I like it. - Which is kind of good. He's kind of like thriving and everything. - Yeah, I do. I love like protection. I do all good. And it's not spells. I don't want people to be like, oh my God. - No, I like, I'll do like, I call it like prayer. If I'm like, please just anything to like leave me alone sort of thing and it's never like a downfall. It's just like anything to sort of like leave me alone and stuff. So yeah, I was shocked, obviously. It's like most families. So it's like, we are we tried like more lightly just because it's like, you know, his family and sister, but, but obviously I would love to say more. But, but there are, yeah, there's certain people like I went hard for Ned. So obviously in this situation, it's like a lot worse. - That's a lot worse. - Because we see it and I mean all that stuff like that because I think when there's, anyways, there's a whole lot to it. - Yeah, there's a difference between like, let's say like getting counsel from a mistake you made 10 years ago, getting counsel for being a bad friend, like things that we, you know, have gotten counsel for, like, when you see that from someone else's like, dude, people can grow, they can learn, they can change. - Yes. - When it's now happening to a cheater now. - Yes. - For, yeah. - I don't really feel bad about going in. I want to say I don't. I think that's good. - And you don't have to say one thing or word about this, but there's an episode where you literally look at him in the eye and you're like, no, you want a day. I can tell. And it's just so freaky because it's like, you knew who he, like you knew who he was. - Yeah. - I knew what he wanted. Like, you could tell. - And so, people, yeah, I guess it's kind of tight. - And for easy. - Yeah, I bet you forgot a lot of those clips. - Yes, it's a clip. He's like, actually, yeah, like, he missed it. - Which is like crazy because I didn't, I wouldn't say I foresaw it then because, you know, with you, I would be like, oh, like, they'll never divorce your together for so long. So like, to me, that's like, oh, you're together forever. So that was never like, I knew. It was more like, I was such a toxic person back then. So I'm like, of course, he'd want to like, people because that's what I would. Yeah, I know healthy relationship to like, I would just start dating Moses. So there was like, no, like, healthy relationship that I had an example of. So I thought, oh, everyone just cheats when they become famous and rich. So that's more where it was coming from, then like, no, you're own personal, like, what you're feeling. - Yeah, I didn't know them too much as a couple. I only met her a handful of times. So I didn't know them as a couple. So I was really just talking, not a mess, but sometimes it comes to fruition. - The guy, anyone thought you were talking about it from such a different place and it comes to fruition, you're like, yeah, I know. I was like, well, I was really just talking to him. - No, the truck just kind of saying whatever. - I do say whatever a lot and people like she knew and I was like, I was kind of just saying, you know, I'm talking to a mess. - Sometimes you just know like a Bryce Hall. You just kind of know, too. You're like, I'm gonna say, yeah, I'm just doing it. - Yeah. So how are you guys keeping up with your hot topics? I usually ask her. So he's like, very household with me. - Yes, how are you? Are you guys, do you do sir? - We have a producer. - There's a couple of things we'll just, she probably, like things actually do will pop up. - And we text each other and we say, RP, rapid fire. - Oh, yeah, we want to shoot in the texture of the RPs. - You do prep, though. So it's like prep work. - Yeah, like a little bit before we're like, okay, like let's like bring up this thing. - Okay. - And we try to, and we also, like everybody does, like, we'll go scour YouTube and the internet and see what everybody's talking about, like, what is the hottest topic that everybody's talking about? That's what our audience wants to know. You know, they want, I'm like, why do they, why do they want to? I'm like, how do they, I don't know, do we have hot, I feel like a lot of times when things are happening that are intense, like maybe our hot take is a way of like being understanding. - We can be a little too understanding. - We can be understanding. - It's because we've been ricks so many times. - Maybe that's why. - But we have more empathy. - We give her so much pressure. - Yeah, that's very true. - We're making love on it. - Sorry. - And some people hate it. - No, they all hate it. - Yeah. - I'm like, sorry. - I differ. - And I just think I'm gonna wreck a girl in beauty that's trying to find her way. - Yeah. - With another accent. - Yeah, that's what you're trying to peddle an accent. - I'm pebble. - You think about her? - We're seeing a minute. - She exaggerated her accent. Did you see that? - Sorry. - She's like, I'm just kidding. - Good for you for admitting it. - She's a rickshaw. - And let's see. - She's a rickshaw. - Do you guys ever rage bait? Do you guys ever do it now? Or is that energy video? (laughing) - Really? - I don't really, I don't really really, I don't really, I don't really, I don't really feel like I'm a, like, rage baiter. - No, I don't care enough about the views. - Yeah, I just feel like what I would. - Okay, anything for a click review, because to get big and popular, get a million views. - She would now, I'm just like, what about that I've had giveaway? - Oh, great job. - That's what I've had. - That's the rickshaw. - What's the rickshaw? - This is the drama. Everybody went to see me. See you for this is what got me uninvited to Joey's parties for the rest of it. - Yes, yes. - Yes. - That's my last one. - Was that the last one? - Yes, Daniel Prada. - Daniel Prada. - Next year was like, Gabby and Trishard not invited to this party and he said it in a, I was like, damn. - You like that? - All my eye-packing. - Yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, damn girl. - Because I didn't think I saw you at Joey's house. I don't know if you remember. It was like fourth of July, but we didn't talk. - I do remember. - I do. - I do. - No, Trisha. - It was six people. - That's where we met. - That's like, actually, it's so funny. - Did we meet? - We met there and the thing is like, at this time, I think you had Rectlora. - Yeah, Rectlora. - Oh, for sure. It was like 2019, 2020 or something. - So I genuinely saw you. I almost like paid you dust. - I genuinely was like, I didn't say it worked to you. - Yeah. - I didn't say it worked to you. - Yeah. - I didn't say it worked to you when I'd go. - No, I felt it, but rightfully so, rightfully so. - And I genuinely was like, for me, it was like, having her back out, and it was like, hey, girl, I saw you did a lure. I was just like, I was like, I'm just gonna ignore her. - Yes. - It's just, you left like 10 minutes after. - Yeah, it was a weird-- - You were there for like a while. - He said it was a party, and it was like five people. - Yeah, I was like, 40. - So then it's like super awkward, and I'm like, you're Joey, and I'm like this. - Right, right, right. - Talking to Joey the only time like this. - Everybody felt that way, which is fair, honestly, fair. I 100% would be the exact same way, and I was being so crazy at the time. But I guess we did-- - It was like literally a moment. We didn't even say hi. We didn't do any-- - Yeah, no, I have no, like, I know, and I remember everyone I meet. So I was like, there was never a time where any of us met or anything like that. - Yeah, like a true option. - That's why I was like, oh, I met them. I was like, you have. - Yeah, I haven't even met them. Oh, my gosh, that's so crazy. So we've been in the same-- - So is it the same vicinity? - Do you still talk to Joey? - Yes. - Yes. - We just saw Joey. - We just saw Joey. - I hate this-- I don't want to be this person, 'cause I would say he's an on-pollomatic faith, 'cause I said I'm not Colleen, and then that happens. - But he is an on-pollomatic faith. - Yeah, he does. - Like, he seems to-- - He does. - And even in real life, we're saying he is like a neutral person. - Oh, so soft. - He's like sweet. - Like he's just soft. - Sweet, neutral, soft. - I've never heard him like trashy. - She can be a YouTuber. - Ever. - Yeah, ever. - She's a shady. - But, but the funny. - Yeah, he's a key. - He's a key. - He's a key. - He's a key. - He's a key. - He's shady in a fun way. - He's not gonna bring you the hot talks. - He's not gonna be nasty there. - No, he's not gonna be nasty. - Yeah, yeah. He's, yeah, and in real life, I'd say he's even nicer. When he was on here, he can be like a little shady and stuff, but he's actually like super nice and like real life. - He's a solid up to come on. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He turns it on. - He's like, yeah. - Yeah, did I love the little shade? - Do you guys are still close? - Very close to Joey. - Joey. - What happened was, this is 2018 was, oh, was this 2018? - No, wasn't. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - Wow. - Yes. - I think I've been back online for like weeks at this point. - My new shoes go on the core. - I was trying to get closer to him, but he was your ass. 2018 was 2018. - I thought it was 2018. - I thought it was 2018, not my torso. - 2018 was at here. - So I told, 'cause you know, they had that Christmas party every year. - Yeah. - It was like an annual thing. - That's where me and Oscar met in 2016 as a Joey party. - Yeah. - That was on it. - Yes, we met there, and he also had the similar story to you. Or it's like, you were in the corner alone, so I was like, I just said hi to you. - Oh, oh. - Which is the story of my life, which is by my own fall, by the way. So I, yes, I'm not a social person, and people didn't like me back then, right, police, so, so it makes sense. So it was 2018 Christmas party. It was my elephant. Were they doing my elephant? They did it every year, 'cause we did it at my elephant, yeah. - Every year. - Every year. - Okay. - And so I told them I wasn't going to come this year, 'cause I was just rocked and it's like all influencer. So I'm like, bitch, I'm like toast. I was like, I'm not going to come and Joey and Dan were like, bitch, come, it's fine. And I knew you were going to come, so I was like, I don't want to come. - Oh, did they tell you? - Yeah. - They're like, Trisha. - I was blindsided. - I shouldn't be here. I thought you guys and I was like my population if you were there, yeah, yeah, Joey Messi. Yeah, yeah, they were like there's so many people there They were signing in a matter It was in particular because it was I remember it so this new our house. It was at the new house Yeah, yeah, cuz I was like this is all there. It has a sled outside. There was like snow outside Yeah, it was a really cool party It was I think Gabby and I was there, too That was that was the party Now I thought I was gonna get rekt of that party cuz you know I'm walking in and like I'm the most hated person online and I'm like Oh, then you see me and you're like there's someone more hated than me. I'll just avoid her Yeah, I'm like I don't want to talk to personally good. Yeah, I was like she didn't be the Yeah, I'd be more scared I would I'd be less good of everybody. I'm like they're gonna beat me No, but they were so they did the white elephant game and I got the last number So you know what the end you get to choose like they need you get to choose any gift in the whole time So I knew you brought expensive gifts, but you brought a Blancyaga sweater. Yes. Yes. Yes, so there was a water cash that went around I think it was like a hundred and something dollars that happened. I thought it was you. Oh, no I thought it was you the whole time that you brought the two expensive Yeah, so I was like her and Jason brought the water cash in the blinsey on the sweater And I remember Andrea Russ is sitting right beside me brought the our got the water cash And so since I was the last person that got to pick the last gift I was like I'm not gonna take the cash cuz I know Trisha brought that shit. I'm gonna take that I had You didn't even know that I Pad was you I was the blissy August wetter and the cash I've had was I did not know that I've had was you that was the cash and I was like, why did I just take the cash - You know, 'cause I feel like she had like, - In the end. - I think people bought expensive gifts. - I said. - I don't even know what the only one. - I don't know what it was like. - She should have broke the rules. It was only supposed to fit. I think Daniel called me out. He said, "She broke the rules off." - I'm like, "Jojo did too." Like, so many people did. - Yes, okay, thank you for that redemption at least. - So I took the iPad and then I decided I was like, you know what, I'm gonna, do I really need an iPad? Probably not. I have every piece of electronic as an influencer ever. Like, let me just do it. Put it in our Christmas giveaway. 'Cause every year the beauty gurus and then I was getting obliterated in the comments. And I was like, "Why?" (laughing) - What's the reason it is? - Did I say, I don't remember, did I say something? - You just had Twitter. You were like, "You should have this bit of regift or gift." Thank you. - You should have regifted gift. That's what the tweets were. - Wow. - That's so many positive. - Honestly, that's a drama. - No, it's okay. - No, don't, don't. - No, I was like, I shouldn't have put it in a giveaway. - No, it's fine. - No, it's fine. - No, you should. - You didn't need the iPad, bro, you're fine. - Yes, oh my god. - Oh my god. - No, don't. (laughing) - Maybe like, if it was a custom engraved laptop to you, that's the one thing. - Yes, yes. - You got it at a party. - Yeah. - And we're a personal gift. You got it in a way, I would say. - You don't need to apologize for that. - That's really nice. (laughing) - You guys are so funny, like, you had to apologize just for clapping, like people. I was like, that's crazy. I mean, it is wild. It's because, if you think about everything, especially now with everyone and what they can't afford, it is such a, even that, then though, like, it can't stop for like, jail time stuff. - Yeah, I was like, crime. - No, it's little crime, and people are like, whatever, we like love them. - But I think that's a lot of people who miss that about the old times. Like, things were softer. Like, things were lower shit. - Yeah. - It was like popcorn soft drama. It was big to us. - Right, you. - And honestly, the iPad drama only lasted for like four days. And for me, what I just came out of, I was like, oh, we're all fine. - We're going on to it, though. I probably held on to that here for a long time. I was like, I was just like, an angry person. It's very weird, but I always tell people, and that's why, like, now to when people are like haters or anything, I mean, it really comes from a place. And I can say this, 'cause I was, it's like just jealousy, insecure, all that stuff like that. So that's like exactly where mine came from. And I was like, yeah, I needed to be humbled so many times. So, karma came and got me multiple times, like, for everything. - And the thing is, I don't even know what your cancellations were for, 'cause I was never happy to see you cancel. Like, I was never like, oh, we got her. Like, you were never, you just were never, I'm telling you were never one of like, my enemies. - It's true. - I had so many. - Did you? - Yes, just from like that core group, like Shane became my enemy, making full videos about me. I never met this man in my whole entire life. During our time I get in, whenever they would make a documentary, they would be shitting on me a man. But I'm like, I don't know, I've never met this person in my life. You know what I mean? So I'm like, that's what I don't miss about any of that. Is I think like, all the friend groups and stuff, like, no one has that power anymore. Everyone's kinda doing their own thing. Like, rightfully so, which is good. It's like, very good. - Which is good, I'm like, yeah, do your own thing. - Do your own thing. - And people now don't thrive on the drama, and then when there is a drama, it's something big. It's something that everyone can agree on. - War into drama. - Yeah, my favorite thing though, and this is maybe being a (beep) but, oh, you can't say that we're a hope to make it happen. - I love to be there. But whenever, there's like drama getting in too, I think it was, which did not involve us. It was like, James Charles. - Oh, we did a deep dive in drama getting out of it. - We did a deep dive in drama getting out of it. - Yeah, we did a Patreon like five parts here. - The scene is dead. - I missed it. - You missed the whole drama. - I was out so smart that, okay. - Yes, but I missed your guys too, so I was very like, we had to do a deep dive later. - I missed it. - I didn't know. - Yes. - I remember, like, Tati went live. It was like exposing them and then Shane's like, on live. - Yes, I love that one. - Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. - You missed it, drama channels. - Yes. (laughing) - You missed it. - And Ron's like, shut it off, shut it off. - Shut it off, shut it off. - I'm gonna do it back, put it back, put it back. - Oh, that's it. - That was fine. - That was good, that was good. - It's so like, honestly iconic though, like at this point, like, it's gone like full, like, it's camp. - It's camp. - This Tati's whole apology is camp at this point. - Oh, it's literally camp. - Did you guys know Tati like that? - Yes. - Did you? - We were, we were good friends with Tati. - Wish you okay now, have you checked in? We don't know, we don't talk to her anymore. - We don't talk to her anymore. - I would be like, please come on, just chase me, just come on, just chase me. - She ignored every time. - No, where's your cup of tea, like, come on over here girl. - So many questions, but then she had me weirdly feeling bad for James Charles and all of it. So I'm like, wait, wait. Cause Oster does love Tati, he has a soft spot for her too. - I don't think so, yeah. - I don't think so. - No, like, I feel like, again, another person that has probably learned so much from that and has moved forward. - Yes. - I would, I hope so too, but I was a little shocked when I found out she was like, our age at the time with 17-year-old James. - That was, yeah. - What's that be friends with 17-year-old James? - You know, I was like, if you don't want to also see her, she's like, I just heard, I was like, yeah, it's like you don't want to be too friends with young people. - I would do on the podcast, but like, hanging out. - Yeah. - That's what I was like, and she's like, you know, it's like, my wedding and my birthday party and it's just like, why were you hanging out with James? - Yeah, and it's like, that made me anyways. Whole thing, we don't have to get in the drama, I had to agree with it, but I thought, are you relieved? - No, when I was shocking. - Yeah, I didn't say we were relieved when that happened, you know, thank God it's like, not us anymore. And when drama gets so big, things just grow legs, and then they try to attack, so they thought we thought they were going to try to pull things in some way. - I was like, no please. - Because we were so fresh off our, so we had so much anxiety whenever that was going on. Because we just knew that we were going to like, try to bring us up in some way. Even though we never really were that bad close, we talked to James like, none of them. But compared to drama, I mean, that's like nothing. - No, it was nothing. But I'm so glad, because I'm like, we were just like, this is like gotten crazy. - It's scary. - Like 50 million views, you too crazy. - Oh yeah. - My YouTube was like insane. - Oh yeah. - And the whole G video got 12 million views. - 50? - Work. - That's everything. - 12 million. - We never got that. - But 50 million. - And then it went to like 50 million. So our shit was like, dust. - Dust. - And so you probably like, thank God. - Yeah. - What's happening? - I don't know. - You're just quiet about the whole thing. - Yeah. - It's a church milestone. - But it's like a church milestone. - Quiet. - We were silent. - We were silent. - We were silent. - Yes, silent. - That's yeah. I always love when there's like a bigger drama that came along. Obviously, I didn't never want to be involved. Obviously, this one too. This one, that was happening. I was like, I don't want to be in the eye of the storm anymore. I just want to be like a positive ball. - Yes. - But you're getting, of course, brought into even the situation. - Right now. - You're probably thinking to like, Jesus Christ. - Because you don't want to be. - I know what you guys were saying. Not scared to come on here, but like, has a tent because it is like one of those things. I just did, like, I did "Honey Mandel's" podcast. Like, why did I do it? Because, and I like how we, I haven't seen one from 80T. But I was like, you do just get brought back into the drama and you are trying. Like, you said in the clip I saw, you were like, I'm in such a happy place right now. And it's like, you don't want to go back to it. And it's hard. And obviously, if you're running this book to, I've been talking about Shane and David. And I'm like, I kind of hate it. I will be done talking about it when I'm done. - Totally. - It's like the eighth in drama. It was the only thing I cared about in the whole drama was to hear what you guys said. - We won. - And I didn't want to, you know what I mean. - Commendicated in a way. - No, I know you guys didn't want to. Like, I know you guys just wanted to leave it alone. - Yeah. - But we haven't talked in like five years. I think this one is just like, I had to, because I was doing so many interviews talking about frenemies. - Totally. - It was like, okay, I need to like say these were all pre-recorded, which they were. Like, everything was like pre-recorded before I came out. - How crazy are your books coming out and this happened at the moment. - I know. - It was great timing. - It was crazy. - It was bad, because I'm just like, damn, now I got to do all these interviews. And it's like, I talk about frenemies one way, but obviously, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know them. Now I haven't talked to them in five years. - Right. - So I don't know them now. So it's hard. But yeah, and obviously with Moses, it needs family. It's just like such a heart. And I don't want to speak for Moses, because like, yes. - Of course. - What is Moses thing? When did he talk to his family? Well, the kids, I'm like, I don't know. I was like, not here. And he obviously, it makes more decisions when it comes to his family. But it's been crazy. That's the final piece of advice we have now overcome here together. And I do want to sincerely apologize. I never said sorry. You said it's okay. But I am so sorry. That's so sweet. Thank you so much. - That's so sweet. - Thank you so much. Dealing with so much. Obviously, I'm another creator. I think creator and creator hate is the absolute worst. I went so hard on you. And with the iPad and stuff too. And I didn't know you. And I truly envied so much of your life. You had a husband. You had friends. You had such a career. And I think I just hated myself so much. I'm so sorry if I contributed to anyway. Because I was not a drama channel. I was, I don't know what it was. And it really was just my own self hatred for myself. And it was never you. And I'm so sorry. And I'm so thankful that you're here. So. Thank you so much. You're one of the only people to ever look me in the eye. - I apologize for anything. - Thank you so much. - I mean it. - You done more than anyone else has done so. And you didn't deserve any of that. Again, the crime you apologized you did what you could. People coming for you for apologizing is insane when that's what people want. It's just accountability. And Manny as well. You are always a good friend to Laura. You know, and I apologize for everything that we've ever, if I've ever shaded. You know, I can be shady for no reason. - Totally totally totally. - And just knowing, you know, the fact that you guys would come here and sit down with me means a lot. Because I do think I have to make amends to a lot more people in this lifetime. So I appreciate you guys just also being fun and just like lighthearted. And I love seeing you guys thrive. Like it is cool to see, right? People come and go sometimes by their own volition. Like Jenna Marbles. You know, we're like come back and some of that. But then there's people who just like, you know, find other jobs. So it's cool to see people who have been in the YouTube for so long thriving and happy. And it's people loving you guys. And I love that. The podcast is like the new Get Ready With Me is right? - Yeah. - Like everyone loves it. - It's just fun. - So you guys are amazing in every sense. So I guess what do we have for advice for people watching to like get over, forgive people, get over home. Like what do you guys give for advice? Like how do you guys overcome it? How are you guys just sitting here just being so positive? - Positive. - Yeah, towards everybody. - Well, you've always wanted to be your friend. - Oh my God. - 'Cause I've always been a fan. - Yeah, of course. - I mean, so I've always wanted to be your friend. - Not the same way. - And so I'm so excited that we get to be friends. But I have felt for so long that we're cool. Like I have felt that for so long. - Okay, good. - I know we were. - But I have. I just felt like, cool. I've always loved all your stuff. I even when you were on H.M. three. I haven't watched since saying that but for me they always say it's like the most cliche saying it's like hating someone else or not for getting someone's like you drinking the poison. But I feel like life is just honestly too short and that just it sounds so cliche but it's so true and I just let shit go. I'm really good at letting shit go. I don't always forget just because it's like you know like if someone does you horrifically wrong it's like you always want to remember that but I I want to really just let shit go and move on and you can just do that just by are you like because you said you practiced better are you just like able to let shit go just because you have your own stuff going on. When you have a happy life it's easy and I think that's what I'm gonna be real. I think we never you're changing like your day-to-day core life is happy I feel like yeah it's easier to let shit go. I've also practiced starter practicing recently where like the idea of people saying something about you and not correcting them. Yeah that's what I'm just letting people think what they want to think and I'm a recovering people pleaser it's so you are like I want everyone to like me like I genuinely I did for a long time and so now when people like say something about me and it's like oh that's how many is I'm like I'm just gonna have to let them because yeah I know how I am like I'm not like that I'm not like what they describe me to be and for a long time I want it to like defend myself and I really want it to be like no I think you just got like the wrong impression like I'm actually like pretty chill but now I just kind of let people be like that is your opinion and that's what it's gonna have to be. Yeah and they'll see they'll eventually see their time yeah through time. Look we were the worst friends in the world and now we've been best friends for 10 years you know it's like it's like time the truth comes out over time. I think truth always like I think it always prevails it always comes and like things come to lie and people that should be called out have been called out yeah you know it's like one of those things where it's like it's time will always tell. Yeah I think that I think that's a both great advice oh my god from YouTube legends you guys can't go full coverage. Larley Maddie anyway I can't believe it's here oh my gosh this is so great. We're feeling the world right now. I don't really have to last night I'm so like nothing can give me my best. Yeah. Yeah. No no nothing can bring me down. I love what you say. Yes. I'm just gonna have to do it. You guys should warm blue too okay. Shout out everyone and thank you guys for being. Thank you. Yeah. We're coming on full coverage. Yes. Yes please.