Tricked-Out Cars w/ Jeremiah Watkins!

Stop the presses gang the American garbage special is out on YouTube right now numbers are cooking We thank everybody for their support keep sharing it keep telling everybody about it. We love you Yeah, and if you like what you saw we are on tour right now We're gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta Philly hello Springfield Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Arizona Timonial Maryland Milwaukee Chicago Cincinnati Columbus all tickets available at REGARBAGE.com if you got a garbage question come out and see the boys Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage sure about that That's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy yet It's just a big old piece of trash trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day and Tudy wants everybody to know that Let's see what she got and she has two tickets available for the Park Casino show December 19th. Where'd she get those? That that feels like it's coming out of the bottom line with VIP access to Kevin Ryan Exclusively with Kevin Ryan and Denise's house at Denise's house two tickets. Okay, six grand a piece Sounds like a sounds like an H. Foley's game for being up My coach is coming at you from right next to me. Should have been join a grant It's fun here. Come on. He's a CEO where you garbage bitter boy international business man. He's in his bag Did you like that? He did not likes to hold a grudge Kevin Ryan Hey, my best pal in the whole wide world. Thanks a lot nips. McGee I asked for a 2x out Would you get a shmedium? What's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you're a review subscribe And it's full video available in YouTube and those numbers are through the fucking roof dog. Let's go then obviously Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't say Spotify the boys are climbing the charts probably top I call top 20 at this point in the comp comedy charts Top 100 all podcast Check that out and then obviously the greatest website double time www.patrion.com So I show you garbage go over there. You join over the seven. There's a crazy number the 17,000 paid subscribers over there God damn army a garbage baby about to go on the army of garbage tour. Yes, and American garbage on YouTube Check it out and gang we could not be more excited speaking of specials to have our one of our favorite people OG comedy Here with this triple OG. He's back again. It's been a minute. We're gonna put him to the ringer We know he's trash. Yes, your mom's dish is what what's to do pizza boats pizza boats got a brand new special out right now entitled Crazy pizza on his YouTube page. You know him. You'll love him. You've seen him just about every way. Yeah, it's working Jeremiah Good to be back boys. We love it. Love you pal. Love you guys. Good to see you Fantastic to see you. I'd say more, but I can't really breathe. Yeah, are you getting like that? No, I prefer to To break the fourth wall and the chair I got it My best pal. I'll touch me Publicly, I like the feel of sweat paint material sweatshirt material against my skin Well, you at yeah, you asked if you go skin to skin with another okay, I also listen. This was This was just very You know from to impromptu, but this is how this is just very funny how you move You're like oh do you think that would fit me and then I turn around You don't have an undershirt on and you're going it you got your arms you go. It's a cool if I go skin to skin Like you put people in business like that's a shirt. He's probably gonna wear all week doing promo And now he's got to be like all right, we wanted he wanted to hang it in the back and I know I just I'm just saying it was a people talk Of sure, we of course we were trying to find the best place to put it and we once it got all we said That's the best place to put it put it on the put it on the guy when I wear later. There's gonna be the permanent nipple mark Couple issues. I don't know nipples could get booners like a radiation shadow You're very supportive though when I put it on. Yeah, Kibbe and I made eye contact. We're like sure Man, you're really fucking fueling yourself cuz I said exhale. He's a what's that? Well, you go it's an excellent. You you think I got it and then the other fucking three grown men in the room have to go Sorry, I have to call out if the three hundred forty-bound guy goes you think I can get in this Ex it all 20 also with the confidence of your shirt already off and going I'm gonna have to puff it out a little bit Yeah, I think that you feel when yourself. Oh, does this hoodie out a little bit. Does this hoodie come in leotard? I was supportive when you got it on I said it looks I go in I said it even looks better than I anticipated I was surprised you got it around your neck. I think I think I think a nipple just fell off by the way We're cutting him out of that It's not coming off through the head. I always wanted that. I know you're in a bad spot when that happens Yeah, but I always wanted that or wanted to do it what cut you cut somebody out of something. I do that I did I did I don't know I never done this I did it to my son because he had shit and they blew out over everything and then you got to go over the head And I'm like, yeah, this is just gonna be significantly worse. What'd you use scissors? No, she changed. So what the fuck do you think? Jaws of life caught in the fire department. What's it gonna do? No, it was just more of like What are you gonna do when you're like just cut them off? Have you been cut out or you did? Oh, I've been cut out. Yeah Really? Yeah, because I've done so many characters over the years Where sometimes like when I go costume shopping like a goodwill or salvation army like I'm like all forced this to fit and then You know, it's a sad day when your wife has to cut you out of a dress I thought I was gonna be helping you, but yeah, can you take something out of the back please George on the grocery store? I could have buried in Should I be getting me out of these panties? Congrats on a new special. Thank you. Yeah, very cool. Thank you. You guys too, man I saw you last night at the seller and I was talking to some friends that I was with and we were just We were just talking about you and they were saying that The first time they saw kill Tony at the store years ago you were there. Yeah, and we were just talking about all the things that you've done How much you how much you've been around how talented you are how amazing you are how funny you are It's very good. I couldn't be happier for you with the special. Oh, thanks crazy pizza. Yeah, I'm super excited It's for me. What's unique about this special is I you know, you guys have both done standup on the spot over the years Many times love having you on that and I put out so much riffing content that this special is just pure material the whole time I don't talk to the crowd at all. It's just jokes, baby If you want that to if you want someone talking to the crowd tune into American garbage. There you go We're both the other ways there. Yeah. Yeah, so let's let's discuss now. I got to tell you sent us a Picture of fresh pizza boats. Uh-huh. They came out of the oven. Yeah, not that long ago Yeah, and they looked pretty goddamn good. Yeah, they're delicious. Write it again It's basically French bread. Mm-hmm. That's like cut in half slice it slice it and then you put like the The marinara or it's usually just pizza sauce from one of those Jard pizza sauce and then you put like some mozzarella cheese Wasn't there meat on there? No use ground you put yeah ground beef some pepperoni and Sometimes green peppers. What did you move here from Sicily? My English is still working on it I know they can't I'm out. Have you had our authentic a piece of boat that From a Naples So we want to run you back through the ringer just a little bit You know, it's been a while. We got some some new stuff. I want to talk to you about mostly what's going on now sure Kevin Don't excuse me guys done his prep All right, and we're gonna kick it over to Kevin who did his job. All right Kevin over in sports is gonna take this one now Hi panic what Well, you know, it's been I just looked 2000 to 2023 was the last time you were here. Oh wow It has been a minute three years. Yeah, were you in this studio? Or was that the old one? I think I may have been here like I think you have to be just Yes, I think that you were dealing with like some frequency issues or something. Oh, yeah, I was old school Yeah Still kind of deal with them if you're on the patreon check it Let's see a few things started off real Get you when he's here sure of course good times good hang you'd always tell because like you came obviously You can tell when we're really friends with people because you come and go sit down Yeah, other people were sitting here waiting to be like he's a minute late. Yeah, I enjoyed that that doesn't happen on Many pods where you just get a you know catch up and hang a little bit before going into it You gotta you gotta get to get to get to get to go get to get the gears going if he would have got here We would have ordered a pizza Got the sleeping bags out when over to the lounge thrown on a go - Those posters, I would've been totally okay with it. - Oh yeah. - Would've been sitting there hanging. - Sleepover pod has to happen. - I was the house where we would have the best snacks. - Really? - I was the snack house. - Give us a rundown of what was in the pantry. And what did you call the pantry? Did you call it the pantry? - Well, we had something called at one point. We had the pantry, but we called it the Y2K closet for a while. - Oh God. - We had a wide-- - You guys were kind of prepped. I forgot that, you were prepped. - We were Doom's dayers. - There's no way that you can have the snack house and have the Y2K closet. - Yeah, you can have both. Yeah, there's lots of-- - You guys want some dry deer meat? - Do you have-- - Do you have gulfage crackers underground? - Hey, can I grab you a Capri Sun or a gallon of water? (laughing) - Tint of black olives, yeah. - So, with the Y2K closet. - Okay, well, how did that start? What year did that start? Do you remember, like did that start way ahead of time? - 2004. (laughing) - We're behind of the time. - It's good, and Chinese calendar. - Yeah. (laughing) - Go ahead. - Yeah, that was like late 90s, that was late 90s. - Give us dimensions. First of all, where is it located in the home? - It was in the basement. - Obviously. - Now, any good, any good shop, you know, bunker is gonna be self-terranean. - How deep was it, or was it just on shelves in the basement? - Yeah, shelves, like in a closet kind of area. - Gotcha. - Now, what's the door between the basement and the rest of the house? - Anything that can fend off looters. - Yeah. - Oh, no, so yeah, you was living room door, and then garage door, and then straight down the stairs, and then pretty close was the Y2K closet. So if there was looters, it would be the first thing to go. - Was it just the normal closet, or anything reinforced? - No, no. - Okay, check it. - No, we had guns for that. - We had guns for that. - Did you guys have nickel in the house? - Yeah, you brought the gun? - Oh yeah, I brought the guns. We would sometimes, well, my mom wasn't thrilled about this, but my dad would have us shoot guns in the basement. Sometimes, and that was low crazy. - That's sick. - What are you guys in the mind? - That's how the clemenza trained Michael to kill fucking assholes. - Where'd she like pellet guns and stuff down there, and we'd set up like targets, and yeah. - That's fun. - Yeah. - That's, I have a question about this, but let's go back. So what is in the Y2K basement? There is every canned food imaginable. Tons of ramen noodles, tons of gallons of water. But also like our other fun stuff. Doritos, pop tarts. - Now would you dip into them and all, if you ran out of pop tarts or Doritos, but you know, we would, we would keep like reloading it. - Got you. - Yeah. - That was kind of like the walking claws, like the walking freezer. - Yeah, we didn't have like the space for it in the actual kitchen. - Put it down in the bunk. - We put it down in the bunk chair. - You were in high school or whatever, before Y2K, right? - Or no. - No, I was in high school. - Both, oh, four, oh seven. - Oh, so this was after. So you guys knew it was cool. So you had a surplus of everything. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So it was when we prime Y2K. - You were probably like 10 or something. - Yeah, that was, yeah. It would have been like around 10, 11, 12 right before. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. - What'd you guys do on New Year's Eve that year? - We were over it of friends. - Really? - Yeah, we went over to a friend. - We could be down there cleaning your guns and shit. - No, we went over and I'll never forget. There was the dad, he turned on the faucet and he goes, "Water's still running." - That's a good thing. - Were they in on a two or no? - I mean, I think they were like there was like half joke and half like, is everything gonna like actually happen? - That was a scary time, right? Especially if you were a young kid. - Yeah, I was gonna say, well, your parents like 10s that night? - I think everybody's like, all right, it's New Year's, but like, is it gonna be the end of the world? - Well, I'm definitely gonna go, sorry. Your dad definitely had a gun on him somewhere. - In the car. - He probably had one in the car. He still does this day, he usually has a gun. - He looks like he shoots the paper. - I swear I got everything better, shut down. - My dad lit his car on fire like a couple of years ago on accident. He left incense burning in the car. - In the car? - In the car he's like, he was gonna try to clean out the smell and-- - Why do I hold on, why did it smell originally? - He might have been smoking pot in there. - Okay. - Yeah. And so he's like, I'm gonna clean it out with incense and then the inside of his car completely burned out. Where you could see the floor and you could see through, there's like sunlight going through the floor like Fred Flintstone style. Yeah, burn out the center console. - What kind of car was that? - It was like a Nissan, like a Maxime or Ultima or something like that. - That's a car-- - Deflips cars. - Ultima? - My dad flips cars like crazy. - Of course he does. - They're fucking-- - I catch and fire every other week, you boy. - That's crazy. - My dad, I've never heard flips cars. My dad sells cars. My dad's into the car business. - Flip and cars is a little different. - Roll flipping means you don't have them for very long. - Flip means you're throwing a, you know, you hit it with some spray paint and keep it moving. - He said he used to way back in the day, roll back odometers, but then like after-- - That's a, that's a-- - I wish I could do that. - That's a lost art. - It is, it is. Yeah, but-- - Can't do it on digital ones now. - No, I don't think so. I think there might be ways to hack the computer system, but I'm sure-- - I'm sure you can, but that's like a serious crime now. It used to be like kitschy of like, ah, yeah, go down to pee. He rolls back odometers. - He said, he said, I stopped doing it when you kids were born. What is the big deal? - I mean, it's a series of things. - You can take a high, 'cause if it's like 100,000, if it's 100,000 miles and you roll it back to like, hey, it's got 25,000 miles, you just took essentially, I'm making up a number, $20,000. You can sell it for $20,000. - Yes. - Okay. - So you're like really ripping people off of hard earned money. - For example, all the time. - I try to buy a priest. - Money? - Yeah, oh no, for sure. - It's not because the car becomes more unsafe. - I mean, one, it's unsafe. - Well, it's like, I think it's really-- I mean, Luke, do you have anything on the-- - Yeah, you can get up to three years per count. - Yes, no, it's like per car. - Oh. - So if you do it for multiple cars, you can get up to 10 years, they say. - I wonder how a guy who rolls back odometers would fare in prison. I feel like if someone like murder was like, would you get what are you in here for? Rolled back odometers, everybody like. - Idea, it was kind of like, it's like a kitschy crime. - Oh, you like rolling back? - All right, get on your back now. - Let's see what hope. - I'll put some miles back on you. (laughing) - I walked right into that. - Yeah, I tried to buy like a priest years ago when I was a-- - The dragon. - I know, when I was a-- - You also tried. - It's wise. (laughing) - Can you roll the odometer up a little bit? - Yeah. - Knock a couple of bucks on this thing. I'm paying cash, does that matter? - I was gonna buy it from this guy, and then I was like, my gut was like, there's something off about this car. It's too good of a deal, kind of a situation. And then I did a carfax report on it, and he had rolled back the odometer on it. - No, yes. - Really? - Yeah, it had like 250,000 miles, and he was selling it for like a priest for five grand, and it was like 73,000 miles on it, and I was like, this is an amazing deal. And then I was like, I'm gonna spend the 150 bucks on the carfax report. And then I was like, hey man, I just did this. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm like, just get out of here. (laughing) - Take it, you don't want your kinder in there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you're off from $25,000? - No, I didn't know what else was wrong with the car at that point. If you're gonna lie about one thing on a car, then you're willing to lie about literally anything. If you're looking at me in the face, and you're willing to shake my hand to be like, you know, turn up. - Fair enough. (laughing) - Yeah, man, don't fully lie, it works. (laughing) Please. No, that's pretty big now. People are still doing that. I think in like, what they're doing now is like swapping the carfax. - Oh. - They're going, hey, they heat up on whatever Facebook marketplace and they go, hey, it's a 2004, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And they go, I pulled the carfax for you and then they show you one for like a different VIN number. - Yeah. - And they rip you off that way. - That's crazy. - With Foley's auto land, we do not do that. - I kind of respect like the hand-to-hand, the shady business tactics a little bit. - Me too. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - Screw me a little bit. - Well it's just like everybody, if not then, you have to have some weariness as a buyer of like, hey. - If it was hundreds of fake anyways. - You know what my dad's trick was when he sell cars? - Yeah, let's go. - Okay, this is like a great one. If anybody is giving you a test drive in their car, don't let them turn on the radio or the music for very long because the reason why they're turning up is to hide all the mechanical issues that are going on in the car. - Bums and fucking. - Yeah. - He's like, this is an incredible Bose sound system. - Yeah. (chanting) - Ranking, cranking it, dude. - You like Metallica? - Yeah, hear that double bass. (laughing) - Not everything. - That's Neal Perk. - Do you like suit and rubber? - It's so bad. - All right. - I think I told this one time, but my buddy's was used to, he worked at a mechanic shop. His dad did. And he was selling a motorcycle. And the guy came in to test drive the car or the motorcycle. He was like, oh, just leave your car here. I didn't go test drive the motorcycle. We had a guy laying in the back seat with an extra set of keys. After he left, hopped out, left. - Whoa. - I respect that shit. - That's wild. - That's like hand-to-hand 80s fucking scumbags shit. - That sounds like the beginning of an epic action move. - Dude, dude. - Are you praying? (laughing) - Dirt bags. - Kevin, let's talk about Quince. - Quince. - As you know, if you don't know, Quince focused on high-quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials, like 100%. You ready for this? - Hit me. - Mongolian casualman. We're talking about organic cotton and marina wool. - Mm-hmm. - You know wool can't be nice. - That's good stuff. - It's just stuff my wife likes. - The styles of timeless, their versatile, designed to become the dependable pieces for you for the everyday. - Yes, listen, I was a little, I never used squints, they sent us some products, they let us order some products, I went on, I was like, "Oh, let me get, dude." - I'm just socks on a right now. - I wear their pants all the time. I have about, I'm not even lying, I'm probably about four or five pairs of their gray, I don't wanna say slacks, they're not cackling, whatever they, I don't know what they are. - Right in the middle. - But I love 'em. They look good, I can wear them out to dinner, I can wear them to a show, I can wear them to record, they're casual but not casual, they look good, they're right in the middle, they look good. And that's how I do it, shout out to Quince, baby. And if it's not just clothing, Quince brings that same approach to everything they make from hotel quality bedding, which my wife ordered years ago, by the way, to bath and kitchen essentials and thoughtfully designed a furniture, I don't even know they were in a furniture game. They make well-designed pieces for every day living. Find your next fall items, your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for exclusive offers or go to quince.com and get free shipping to your order for 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks how you heard about them, tell 'em, are you garbage saying it? It's the best way to support the show. - Do it. - Yes. - Kevin, it's talking about Bluetooth. - Bluetooth. - Let's talk about more specifically that blue to gold. - Yeah. - They just keep innovating. They just keep getting better. Gang, I am not just a spokesman. I am a client. - Woo! - And we're talking, let's go, listen, I'm 50 years old. You get a little older, things start slowing down. You need to make moments, you want to bring the heat. You got to bring the heat with these broads, get me? You know what I'm saying? - Sure, so I'm told. - Do you know what I'm saying? - I've seen it in magazines. Gang, do yourself a favor. - Okay, yourself straightened out. - Over to your Bluetooth. - Yeah, Bluetooth gold has four powerful ingredients. That's the big thing, they got two-for-the-blood flow, which clear everything out, boom, get everything, where it needs to go and two-for-riles. - Talk about a hot wrap. - More sensual, put it in. - Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. - Get your rods and cones all screwed in, right? - Yeah, it'll be spinning around like the exorcist. - You enter the new era of stress resex with the number one brand for better sex. - No in-person doctor visits, no waiting rooms, just simple online process, and ma'am, you got a boner. - Oh yeah, you're now, here they are. - Here it is, gang, experience it yourself at Bluetooth.com. They got a special deal for RU garbage listeners right now. When you buy two months of Bluetooth gold, you get the third for free with the promo code garbage. That's promo code garbage. You'll receive an additional 10% off, plus overnight shipping for your first order. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details, important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring a pod and a bedroom day. - Yes, we do. - All right, let's talk a little business here. - Do you any fake covers of magazines? Like as a kid from your little league or anything like that? - Fake covers? Like what they would take? - The picture would be posed. You'd be sitting there holding a bat who'd be like sports, it was traded. Local kid, fights dog or anything. - Oh no, I didn't have anything like that. I had like, I would collect like the penance for a while from different sports teams. - That's okay. - And stuff like that. - But no, didn't have, I mean, I've got a lot of different soccer shots of me like holding the ball awkwardly and kneeling next to it. - In the studio or on the field? - On the field. - That was yeah. - Yeah, always on the field. - Did you guys ever get an old time photo taken? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, we got some good, a couple good ones. - And I'm holding a gun in one of them. - I'm a gun or something. - Yeah, I'm holding a gun in a bull cut. - A western. - Yeah. - Where, where would that happen? - That was an Arkansas. - At like a port, like an amusement port. - Like, what was that? - No, that was their technology. - That was their only technology. - Those are staying a little time before. - Yeah. - That's crazy. - That's why you went there? - In Colorado, and I think Arkansas, we got our pictures taken like-- - No, he's trashy, Colorado. - Colorado. - Colorado. - Colorado. - Colorado. - Shit, okay. - Yeah. - Let's say you're staying at a hotel, you're at like the, whatever, the Hilton Garden in. You're in Tulsa for the weekend. - Okay. - Are you swimming that pool? - Ooh, I have in the past, but I definitely don't make the time to do any more. - Are you going the road? Are you going, I'm bringing my trunks. - No, like now that I have kids, it's a little bit different. We did a weekend out of town where I was like, we're gonna utilize this pool. Kind of a thing to get their energy out. - Sure. - But I don't like, if I'm headlining alone on the weekend. - You don't swim in? - I'm not bringing trunks to go swimming in Tulsa. - I don't get on a plane without a, without a, without a, yeah, without a pair of trunks and flippy floppies. - But I mean, if I'm really desperate, I always have basketball shorts. I can always swim in basketball shorts. - I'm a little surprised that that answered. - Really? - Yeah. - You'd be, you'd be. - You think I'd be a, you know? - Yeah, 'cause I got a shark fin attached to my face. - Yeah, he's got a two-star hotel pool vibe. - Yeah, you kind of got a guy who was like, pool? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And you're like, you know, you kind of have the vibes if you're not sure when you're going to be around another pool. So you're like, I gotta get it. - I gotta get it. - I gotta get it. - Guys, my time with this. This is the biggest body of water I'm looking at for a while. - Landlock. - Yeah, okay, you know. - Do you or any of me? - Do you or any member of your family have any Harley-Davidson merch? - It could be a magnet. - A magnet. - A magnet? - Sure. - My dad has to have some kind of-- - Does he have a Harley? - No. - Okay. - And a Prius. - I think it's just, I think it's his dream to go to Sturgis some year. That's like something that he'll to go. Yeah, he wants to go, but he doesn't have a bike. - It's like a big bike fest. - It's a gathering of the jugalos, but for bikers. - Yeah. - Can non-biker people go? - Yeah, I think you go and like, I think there's like, not, I don't want to say parades to-- - Probably really bitch out there. - To soften it up. But like, there's like, buddy, drive down and, you know. - I think there's different layers of leather that you go down like, you know, the seven layers of-- - Don't they do something like that in Myrtle Beach, too, don't they? - I was there, I was there. I called like the last day or the first day of bike week when we were down there for something in high school. - It's it's all good. - It's a vibe, dude. - We had one of my favorite things. We didn't have a motorcycle ever, but my dad had a 1985 Honda Arrow on Moabhead, and we used to ride that around the neighborhood everywhere. - He's on that. - It would pop out. - Honda Arrowhead? - Honda Arrow. - That's not even coming up. - Eight or a thousand miles on it. - 1985. - 1985. - Yeah. - I don't think so. - Oh, that's sick. - That's awesome. - You are from Sicily. Look at that day. - It's my Jordan though. - It's my Jordan. - It's the fruity. - Yeah, that's all right. - Yeah, that's not bad, dude. - It's like something George Michael would come up with. - My sister would hop on the back of it and we'd go down these hills and it would start to get the wobbles. - I hate speed wobbles. - It would pop out at 50 where literally, it would start like redlining, like at 50 miles an hour downhill and then you'd start feeling it. - 50's crazy. - Yeah, 50 on the Moabhead was fast. - That's good. - It was fast. - I remember that feeling when you're going down a hill on your bicycle and the fucking thing. You feel like fucking chuck-yager in the flesh. - Yeah, and no helmets or anything. - Yeah, yeah. - She's breaking apart. - Yeah. - Damn, you get 70 miles per gallon on that bit. - Uh-huh. - Traded it straight up for the van. (laughs) - Anybody? - Dumb and Dumb are ready. - Let's come on out. - Traded some kid in town straight up. - Anybody in your family or you say when you drive by a cop towards the end of the month. - End of the month, they gotta make their quota. - Yeah, for sure. - Dirt bag. - What was the last time you were pulled over? - All right, good question. - Ooh, it's been years. I'm pretty good though. I'm a pretty good driver. I've only-- - Sensible. - Yeah, yeah. I don't really speed too often. I've been, the last time I was pulled over was years ago and is for tags, expired tags. - Sick. - Yeah, right. - But I've never got a speeding ticket before. Never gotten one of those. - You've only gotten one. - Never. - I've been the passenger in many car accidents when the cops show up. - Yeah. - How many? That sounds like too many. - Oh. - There were a lot of them with the wrong crowd. - Multiple. Yeah, multiple where I'm in the passenger seat or in the back. - I don't think that's ever happened to me. - That's so trashy. - Yeah. - I've been in like four or five. - Yeah. - That's too many. - Yeah, yeah. - And then I've been driving, I've been hit so many times in LA. - Huh. - I've been hit so many times in LA in my car. - When you were in the passenger car that I drive. - Then what do you do? Just shake it off and keep going? - Well, that's the amazing thing about when you don't have a nice car is like-- - What's the day to day now? - So like as far as like driving that car? - Your car. What's your car? - Oh, okay. Well, this is probably the trashiest thing about me. - I'll beat the judge of that. - It's one of them. - It's a pizza boat. (laughing) - A pizza boat with you. - I'm just, I'm rolling down the street. - Hey, by John and up. - By John and up. - You can act to me today. - It's a 2012 Honda CRZ, which is a-- - CRZ. - Yeah, that's discontinued. - I was gonna say. - Are they? - Yep. - CRZ. - CRZ. - CRZ is in zebra. - CRZ is nice. - The new ones. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, that little guy. - This little guy. - Mine's a blue one. - Look, that color blue? - No. - That's a 2026. - Mine's like a darker blue. - Oh, that's a prelude. - Yeah, Honda CRZ. - This guy. - Yeah, that guy. - Right? - Yep, yep, yep. - That's a little guy. - This little guy. - Well, that's tricked out, but yeah, that's a two or two. - That was tricked out. (laughing) - We got rims and it's got a special grill. - That was a tricked out. - We don't consider those rims. - They're stock rims. There's a Honda and blue one. - We'll get that off. - No, those little ones. - Those are rims. Those are nice rims. - I'm not saying they're bad rims, but I wouldn't say that's tricked out. - This is a tricked out car. - This is a little wavy. (laughing) That's crazy. How do you, I'm surprised that you guys don't think that's a tricked out car. Those are like 70s, stink. What he's like to drink down is there's stock. I've never, that's the devil's car. Dude, I'm telling you, those are like nice aluminum alloy wheels. What do you have? Well, mine wheels, what the fuck? Well, mine is so. It's part stage coach. Yeah, but basically the paint is all completely oxidized off of most of the car because of the sun. Sure. I've picked it out and then the wheels and everything. I've been hit so many times in different parts of my car that I got hit by literally the owner of the comedy store and he's like, oh, did I hit your car? I'm like, yeah, I'm like, that's all right. Yeah, I've had cars like that. Yeah, his brother, his brother, yeah, yeah. Sorry, buddy. Yeah. Dude, I hit your car, bro. Are you at the point now with the car? That like, let's say you're in a grocery store parking lot. Somebody backs in the, it does not serious damage, but does some pretty noticeable cosmetic damage. There's a crunch to the quarter panel. We're a quarter panel. Do you say to that and if they're like, you can file a thing with my insurance. Will you file the insurance claim and not get the car fixed or take a cash offer? I would do a cash, but you're not getting the car fixed. How are you taking that way? They go, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Do you want to exchange information? I would probably be at where I'm at with it now. I'd probably be like, we're all good. It's been hit so many times. Even money on the table. Well, I got hit, like it was like last year, I got hit again and it was a lift driver and I felt bad. She crunched me bad and I had to file a claim with that. And she's like, you don't know what you're doing to me. I'm like, you just hit me. I don't know, I don't know if her drive, her lift was gonna be affected by her rating or whatever, but she had a passenger, a lift passenger in the back. You saw it. That wouldn't look at me. That was like just looking straight forward. There's like a witness that like she didn't want to look at me and like get involved at all, but she's just like, she's like, I have to get this like person to their next destination. I was like, okay, well, let's just exchange information. Real quick. If I'm in an Uber, anything happens. I don't care. This happened yesterday where the guy picked me up and he couldn't get the parking brake off. It was a suburban. Couldn't get the parking brake off. And I said, all right, I walked around, I gave it two minutes. And I looked for it, couldn't find the parking brake at least. You were trying to help him? Yeah. It was an Asian guy, and I don't think he spoke in English. I think he was covering for somebody. And I was like, I'm out, but if there's anything, I am opening the door and walking away and saying, take care, I'm gonna cancel the ride. You're, yeah, to me, you're like a public, either like it's like a public budget. Yeah, you're running your own. They're my, it's the agreement where I might as well be a wall between me and you. Yeah, that lady should have gone to the Uber, but like, yeah, fuck this. No, yeah, I'm surprised she didn't call another Uber. Like be like, cancel it, call another Uber. Like it was, it was like a main city area. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Shit. What'd you get for that? That one lift was, they cheap skated me out. They only gave me like 800 bucks on that one. And you keep that 800. Yeah, I just keep it. I just pocket it, baby. Sick. Sure. Every time, every time I've been hit, I just pocket it. Yeah. Yeah. So what's the, what do you think? How much crunches left on this car? There's, are you like, you got another year? You think two year, you're gonna go, I'm just gonna ride it to crunch out. It's low mileage. So I low 78,000 miles on a Honda allegedly, oh, what year, what year? 2012, that's not bad. That's a hybrid too. It's a hybrid. Let me ask you this, let's say the kids were in seventh grade. I know they're not, but let's say they were, that you had to be public with this car around their friends. Would you be comfortable driving them around in this? Well, you know, they take, like, come on, dad. I mean, I wouldn't care about that because I pull into, I know you wouldn't, but they wouldn't. I mean, I don't, I'm hopefully raising them in a way where they're like, they'll be able to blow off. Yeah, your car sucks. It'd be like, yeah, I know. All right. I put them in the back of it, like, it's so it's a hatchback. It's a hatchback with two doors. There's no back seats. No, there's no back seats. How do you put them in the back? Wait, there's no back seats. There's no back seats on this two door. That's it. So what I do for fun, what I do for fun with them is, I'll put on jock jams. I like to move it. I'll blare it. And then I'll put them in the back with no seatbelts on and I'll do donuts around our neighborhood. So it's really just like that, right? Is that what it looks like? Did it like, quasi seats? No, yeah, they're not seats. So there's no seatbelts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fold every, I fold that section down. And so it's just a flat, like, right. And it goes back to the truck and it goes, that's like, that's like a big truck. Yeah, that's crazy. That's like one of the shuttles from Star Trek. Yep. Yeah, that's wild. So I drive them around and they love it because they, you know, it's like a free roller coaster. That's pretty good. All right. I'll give you that. You just look in by there. What can I say? That's wild. If you're peeing at a urinal, do you put your hand on the wall ever? My son does. Guys, an old guy. He's five and he's already put in his hand on the wall. How do you feel about a high top at a bar restaurant? You sit at a high top? I prefer a booth, but I'll do a high top. You'll do it. I'll do it. Okay. No, first choice. No, first choice. I'll do the high top. No, no, no. Okay. I kind of like it. Do you mean you're out? You're kind of vibe in. You know, I like committing folly. It's Lucy Goosey. Right. There's the server. Come on. You can, you can, you can dine and dash on the check if you really need to. He likes because he's close to the bar. Oh, whoa. Someone's upset. Oh, okay. Yeah. Grotto. Who is the most famous person you met? And it doesn't have to be a huge celebrity. It could have been like a local celebrity. Like, this guy was the weatherman or a local, you know, whatever. Doesn't have to be anything. Just someone to know the ride. We were like, whoa. I met him at a signing or a. It's going to be weird. Is opening of a supermarket or something? I think it's going to be somebody from Sesame Street or something. No. I'm trying to thank Frank Oz or Jim Henson. There was a guy who. This is great. There was a guy who. It's not even a name. No, he, there was a weather guy who we met at the zoo. One time. I remember that. That was a big deal. They're always at. What the fuck are they doing? They're always at the zoo. And then there was a baseball player, something Montgomery who played for the royals. He was doing a signing at our price chopper, which is like our local grocery store. My chopper sounds like a mixtape. My little Wayne. That guy was definitely hung the fuck over. Yummula, baby. Price chopper. Pussy on the puppet. Price on the chopper. Jeff Montgomery. Jeff Montgomery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Met him at a price chopper. And then I met. It was pretty good. It was a standard dirt bag. I met at a soccer camp. Some of the former Kansas City attack players and the wizard players from back in the day. What were the Kansas City attack, though? They were an indoor soccer team. I remember because we had to fill it off. You free them. Okay. One of my cousins played. Oh, really? I played it to Spectrum, I believe. Oh, I've got some family. Oh, it's Spectrum. That was a great tip. Remember the Philly Wings? The Philly Wings. And then, yeah, the Philadelphia soul owned by Bon Jovi was the arena football league. Yeah. Really? Did he play his soundtrack? And before every game. He played quarterback action. He's got to hold on to what we got. This kid's clothesline. That's a good fricking time there, Jerry. Kim, it's time I'll wait there. Wait. Now, as you know, I've had an apartment before. And I tell you what, you know what I furnished that with? What? Wait there. Nice stuff. There's some guy sleeping on the couch and I bought from wait there. Probably right now. And God, love him. It's fine. Yeah. Fantastic couch. Boarded five years ago. Still, still rock solid. Yes. Best nap I ever took. Yeah. I hope he's doing well. Listen. All jokes aside from the big men obviously for comedy purposes. Wayfarer is fantastic. That's how I helped furnish any apartment I lived in in the past. Oliver, many years. First stop. Wayfarer. Everything's wayfarer. You get a good alignment of what's out there. You get some more affordable options. You get some middle road options. You get some nicer options. Whether you're refreshing a room, replacing something worn out, or upgrading appliance, or giving your home a festive flair for the holidays. Listen, we upgraded from a one bedroom to a two bedroom. We needed to get a whole new thing. I said, babe, go away for a boom dresser. Boom bed. Boom nightstand. Boom light. Out the door. Every single style on budget. You got shop thousands of products across every style and budget. Use filters, custom photos, and they have over 20 million verified five-star reviews. So you can confidently find the right fit for your home. Use your source. Use your generator. That's what we're talking about. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfarer rewards. Join Wayfarer rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfarer.com to shop all things home. That's Wayfarer. W-A-Y-F-A-I-R. com. Do it. Wayfarer every style. Every home. Jeremiah Watkins. Will you steal a steak knife from a steakhouse? Will I what? Steal a steak knife from a steakhouse. We were taking a steak knife home. Ooh. I've helped my mom steal stuff from all of Garden and Red Lobster. Like what? My mom has a thing. She's a club domain here. That's a bit of a condition. Yeah. The biggest thing that we ever stole was a potted plant from all of Garden. That's pretty big, dude. How big? - It was huge. - It was huge. - Like by the door, what was it? - It took two people to carry it. - Salt and pepper. - Where was it? - It was all of Garden in Kansas City and we put it in the trunk. Like it was that big, it couldn't fit. Like it was literally like this size. - Where in the restaurant? - Near the entrance. - Yeah, take it. - Yeah, you can't do like carry it all the way through the kitchen. - Don't mind me. - We brought this from home. - We're from corporate. My mom also has taken full glasses of beer out of restaurants and just put a napkin over it and just walked out with it. - For the glass, not the beer. - Yeah. - Well, private. - A little bit of both. - Yeah, look how many low-calms they. - Listen, a glass that you like, I'll give you. - Steak knife, yes, because of the novelty when the big steak knives came out. - Yeah. - I've taken chopsticks more recently. - That's fine. - Wouldn't it? - Yeah, they're nice wood. - Like they're nice like, you know. - See, I don't like those. - They're like painted, they're nice. - Have you ever used the metal ones? - I don't like the metal ones. - Me neither. - No, there's something about the taste. - It's doing surge. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like operation, but Asian style. - Feel good using chopsticks. - I'm gonna get a really bad joke. And we're gonna move on. (laughing) - Yeah, yeee. - Do you own any DVDs still? - Yeah, I just bought some. - Are they on display in the house? - They're not on display, they're in a closet. - What, the Y3K bunker? - What? (laughing) - What? - Next to the gallon drum of pickles. - What DVDs were they? - Puss and boots. - This guy's not free. - For the kids? - For the kids, yeah. We got like some childhood classic kind of movies and stuff like that that we still have. - For what's the permit to just like, for like more? - More so, just so we don't have to scroll looking. - We're gonna put this in. It's the activity. - We'll make like our own blockbuster at home. - We'll put out like a bunch of DVDs and we're like, "Hey boys, pick one." You don't have to, you're not scrolling. You pick one right in front of you, settled. You have to agree on it. - Like what? - Like we used to back in the day and just do it. - That's great, that's just, that's really cool. - I do this other thing with my son that there's like a throwback that's fun. He's obsessed with Pokemon cards. And what I do, I have this glass fish tank aquarium that I used to use on podcasts for Scissor Bros. They used to like throw up in it and we'd like Bob for disgusting things in there. So I clean it. - I might not get a new one. - Yeah, no, I clean it out. - I clean it out, flipped over the square fish aquarium and I put new Pokemon cards in there. And he has to come, it's called Dad has Pokemon store and he has to come and trade me. I'm like, I'm like, what do you got? So I don't give, I just don't straight up give him new packs. He has to trade me for the new card. - That's sick. - Are you doing the voices and all that stuff with the kids? - Oh yeah, whatever they want. Like as far as like me doing characters or voices that they request, I'm doing it for them. - Can you just be Dad for once? - Yeah, I don't know, look at that. - I just look at him like, just be Jeremiah G. (laughing) - Charmander, Charm, Charm. - The whole best side. (laughing) - Squat all, squat all. - Come on, Pikachu. - That's funny, can you just be Dad for once? - I just wanna talk to Dad. I mean, literally, I've been re, I was reading that time stories of my son. He's like, can you just do it as Dad? - Oh my God. - My wife goes, I don't think our son's gonna know what you're real voice. - Yeah, I'm all over the house. - Yeah, 'cause I mean, I made that joke 'cause it hit me recently. I'm like, I am just really doing. - I never thought of that. 'Cause I'll read that time. - He loves my Asian voice, it's quaint. - Really? (laughing) - I never thought about it like that. - Yeah, I'll do like all. - I'm not even good at voices. - I'll read bedtime stories as I gandoff from Lord of the Rings and different things and yeah. - Long, long time. - That's fun. - He gets to play it. - Do it as Jake's all scared of shit. - Yeah. - I wanna play a game. - I mean, you're Pokemon cards. (laughing) - That's cute. - What will you give me? (laughing) - You have to save your brother's life. - You have to save your brother's life. - Oh man, what were we talking about? - DVDs. - Yeah. - That's awesome. I really want to do that. - That's really cool. That's fun. - And it keeps them from scrolling. - That's kind of the thing. - Well, to get back to analog a little bit. - Yeah, it's nice. - It's also just so my wife and I don't have to be like, what about this, what about this? It's Larry, they see it right in front of them and they know that these are the parameters. These are the eight movies. - There are a million other choices. - Right, right. - And there's also a thing too of like, we don't really, my kids significant a younger, but we don't really show. - It wasn't really watched TV, but we were stuck in the house 'cause of the weather the last weekend. So we were like, all right, you gotta lean on something. I'm like, this is great. It's like, you can't distract them in a fucking apartment. So you choose something and then it's like, he already knows now where it's like, oh, there's something else. He's like, all right, I'm done with this. Like put all, you know, it's like and you go like, oh, this is just never-ending episodes that Clifford the Big Red Dog or fucking Franklin. And you're like, oh, but if he can be like, this is what it is. - Yes. - That's it. - I'm slow rolling introducing him to video games. He loves video games, but I have like one of those emulators that have thousands of games on them. And I'm only like, I'm slow rolling it where like, I'm like, these are the games that I have. Like don't like, and then I have Game Boy Advance games that are like cartridges and I'm slowly. - It's cool. - So he's not like, new and new and new and new and. Yeah. - In the last 365 days, have you pushed the automated toilet button? - Have you had to do that? - Yeah, of course. - You have? - Yeah. - You don't do that, I take it? - You don't press the, like on the flush? Like the one that has the sensor, it's supposed to flush? - Yeah, it's supposed to, but sometimes it doesn't. - I don't work there. - I'm not touching that little button. - If I'm gonna like, a rest stop, probably not. - That's crazy to leave a dump and a toilet. - No, not a dump. - I don't work here. - It's never encountered, that's never happened. But peeing, I turn around, I walk away. - I see what you're saying. It depends on what the rest of the bat, what depends on the state of the bathroom. - How you found it in? - Yeah, if I go in there and there's like, it's a fucking mess and there's, if it's like a fucking rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike, that is what it is. - If I'm peeing on top of some of these peeing? - Yeah, if I'm peeing on peeing, then, you know. - I've never encountered with a number two, but I don't know. - You got it, yeah, you got it. - I don't know. - This is what you do, you don't use the point of your finger, use your knuckle and you're out of there. - 'Cause it's so tiny. - I know, that's why you use your middle finger, not use my foot. - Use your foot. - You got long toes. - Well, ballerina toes. - Okay, I'm a piece of shit. (laughs) - That? - I took bowling, this reminded me of, I took bowling in college with my sister. And that was our physical education credit. And I remember, I forget the ultra. - I had to go somewhere together. - I'm sorry, you had to go to the bowling alley. - I'm sorry, you and your sister went to college together? - For the first, you know that? - She, no, she, she. - I never told anybody, breaking news. - She graduated high school early, so she had a year where I was getting done with community college and she was entering community college. So we took, public-- - Oh, this is community college. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What are you saying? - They were doing a bowling at Yale? I mean, I think they have that out. (laughs) - Yeah, I mean, I, so we took multiple classes together. We took photography, bowling, public speaking. I think that was-- - Holy shit, no, oh my god. - Yeah, the college with your sister. - The public speaking-- - Did you guys, were you living at home? - Yeah. - Driving the car, yeah, you were-- - Oh, that was a different car at the time. - What car was that, do you remember? - That was a 98 Acura CL. - Oh, right, and that was a nice car. - Yeah, that was a nice car. - Have leather interior. - Acura is a very nice car. Very nice. - Very nice. - They are the car for the dirt bag. That is like, got the Acura, you know what I mean? - Oh, no, it was a big deal. - Let the seats, yeah, it's always-- - What is Acura? Japanese? - Honda. - Yeah, it's the higher end Honda. - I didn't know that. - And Lexus is Toyota, yeah, and something else. - Honda engines, big business, right, Luke? - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - What is a good to go back to your car, the CRZ? - Yes. - Oh. - What is the radio, what is a carrying sound system in that? 2000, like, is there an aux cord? Is it-- - Oh, I use an aux cord. - Use an aux cord. - There's a CD player that I've been listening to, and you're on recently. - Really? - It's been a bump in it, dude. - Do you have a book of CDs in there as you just leave that in there? - I have different sleeves that are in the side doors. I don't have a full book, but-- - Like the CDs that were used? - Are you serious? - Yeah, I still got CDs that are scattered through that car. So I've got, like, I've got some different comedy albums in there. - That's fine, okay. - I've got some, I just bought the annual one. That was not-- - Where did you buy it? - On Amazon. - Brand new. Came in the cell phone wrapping. - What's that, say it back? - $10. - That seems hot. - Deals, very hot. - There's a steal. There's like, there's like 20 songs on there. That's a steal. - In Anya's CD. - Who's that bronze deal? - What do you mean? - Whoa. - Whoa, that's a queen you're talking about. - Easy within, yeah. - She Irish? - Yeah. - Uh-huh. - I gotta be honest with you. - She said, I thought she was African. - Really? - No, the white is the white. - The white is the white. - That's crazy. - You're thinking of Kenya, bro. - You're thinking of Kenya. - Kind of, I guess. And then you were like, "She's a queen." I was like, "Yeah, she is." - She is. - I knew you'd learn that's my African queen. You know what I mean? - Huh. - Wow. Okay, did not know that. Yeah, do you have any pictures within the exotic animals? Koala snake. Oh, I've got koala pictures, but that's when I went to Australia. Yeah, um, let's be weird if it was Detroit. I have handled snakes before, but it's usually common snake. Commonly related events. We were just in Australia for Dr. Phil Live in Australia. There was a pretty scary snake that I had to hold around my neck for a bit. And it was kind of terrifying. He did that in Australia. Yeah, we did that. How big was the theater? Uh, a couple thousand. It's crazy. God damn, shout out to you boys. Yeah, no, it was awesome. Love him and love you. I did. No, it was wild. Have I ever met a lot of turtles as a kid? I was more of a turtle here. Oh, man. What's a lot? It's five at once. Well, that's too many. I five at once. I had a turtle. That's too many turtles. Yeah, well, that smell. Would your room smell like? Uh, I kept them. I had to keep them in the garage and then also, uh, outside because, and I kept you to keep them in a dog kennel. Five turtles. Like box turtles? Box turtles, wood turtles. There's a red-eared slider that I had. Oh, I mean, oh, oh, what? Could you get a red-eared slider? Can you keep different turtles in the same pen? Uh, I did. I don't know if you should. Turtles freaked me out a little bit. Yeah, I like the cartoon ones. Red-eared slider. Yeah, so the, so that one, the one that I had was, was giant. He was this big. For the red-eared slider that I had. But one of them I had was so small that it fit through the crack of, uh, we had a, uh, our deck and I thought it was enclosed. But, uh, he snuck through the, uh, the boards and got out. Where'd he go? I had, uh, uh, into the creek that was like a 20-foot drop down. Okay. Yeah. So he was okay. He, I think he was okay. But then the winter came and I don't know what they have in it. Yeah, they may, they probably, they make it to the winter. You think? Turtle, two turtles can live like, oh, not one from a pet store, a slider. Maybe he was, like, a Colombian or something. Napar Gatsy told me that, uh, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, you know, you're, uh, you're in one of my jokes, right? And I was like, oh, really? And he, I go, which one? He goes, I have a joke about a turtle. And this was at Salvolcano's, uh, wedding. And he, he looked at me and he goes, man, that, that turtle must be pretty cold in that water. And I was like, well, they're cold-blooded. So they don't, that's not, it's not cold in them. And he goes, and he, he does this bit about how he feels, how dumb I made him feel. He's like, I never talked to him again. That's wild. Five turtles, nine turtles. I mean, one of them was, uh, one-eyed Willie. He had one eye, uh, scratched out by some kind of animal. Uh, what the, what are you getting these, huh? I mean, they were, they were in the woods in Kansas. They were crazy. Would you get them at the pet store? No. All wild. All wild turtles. I never got like any of my, my childhood hurt. We would get them like, we'd be. That's wild caught, get me hat. We would be in that form factory, shoot. Shooting guns out in the woods or fishing somewhere, like out near creeks or, like, little ponds or lakes or whatever. And then they would always be a turtle round. And I'd be like, yeah, I gotta take it all, I'm gonna say. Yeah, all right. And then so I had five at once that I collected from different places. It's crazy. Yeah. God love you. Yeah, but they smelled awful. Turtle pees. Smells so bad. You'll smell mine. Oh, dude, it's such a specific smell. 35 years again. It's gnarly. Imprinted in your brain. Yeah. Go over to your house now. Where is the trash can? Can I see it? Where is it? It's out, but it's on the other side. We have like a center like island kind of thing. And it's on the end of that. It's on the end of that. Is there a lock on it? Yeah. No, it's a step. It's a step trash can. Yeah, I put your foot on it. Pop stuff. Still working good? Still works pretty good. Yeah. You ever popped the top off with the step? Uh, no, but sometimes it jams a little bit. You got to wiggle a little bit. A little wiggle. You got a wiggle a little bit. Yeah, you got a wiggle a bit. Luke, you got that in your house? Tated underneath. That's just bloody. Before I forget, because this is pretty gross. And I still forget what the altercation was. When I was doing-- I fault Nate Bargette. When I was doing the bowling class with my sister. We got off on a change. That would be for McDonald's, but whatever. She got into some altercation with somebody at the front that was like being very aggressive and mean to her. And she took a dump on top of the lid of the toilet in the bowling-- On top of the lid. Like, I'll protect it, but didn't. She put it up. Yeah, she put it up. That's great. I don't need to know. She put it on the top of the lid. Like, she pooped on top of the lid of the toilet. You guys are bitching at me, but not pushing the button. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. That's like an athletic feat, though. Yeah, that's good quad strength. Yeah, to stay up like that. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, she was a really good man. She smeared it on the airs, gross. I was a turkey, I'd tell you. Stupidly joking. I've ever made my life. A little eye-lapse. Ended to me. Are they starters or appetizers? Appetizers. Hmm, surprise. I got a question for you. When you're at a restaurant and, you know, there's something on the menu that you might not fully understand what it is. Like, you're an Italian and something. Will you Google it or just go, "Oh, that's not for me." I either said that's not for me or I asked the waiter waitress. I go, "What is that?" What is that? It's a chicken tender serve. How do you cook that? Dude, the chickens really have fingers. How tender is this chicken you speak of? Okay. All right, I Google a lot of stuff. Do you? Yeah, I find you embarrassed. Well, what it's to embarrass. I've talked about this before, but my wife will ask me questions because English isn't her first language. So she'll be like, "What is this?" And it's like, "I have to explain a lot of things. I never thought you'd just kind of assume." Right, you're like, "Oh, you don't know what that is." And I'm like, I don't really know what it is type things. So I end up a lot of googling. I'm plus, I'm an idiot. You'll love this. My wife made fish tacos the other night. And I'm like, "Oh, okay, cool." Kind of fish, though. Dude, I knew it. It was fish sticks in tacos. Oh, my God. Where is she from? She called them, but she's from the Bay Area. She called them fish tacos and I go, "That's like, well, that's like a food hub of the world." I know. And I'm like, "You know these are fish stick tacos." She goes, "Don't call them that." I go, "What else am I going to call them?" They're not fish tacos. Fish tacos is something entirely different. That's crazy. I mean, they were delicious, but. Yeah, I was going to say, "I got to push back on that." That's not a fish taco. You think that's a fish taco? You can say, "I made fish tacos." I think, okay, first of all, a fish stick, frozen fish stick has more flavor than like a piece of fish that's fried. Like a simple, a lot of times. Listen, a lot of times fish tacos miss because there's no flavor in the fried. Because there's no stick in it. Right. The stick, whatever that is. The breading, right? I don't know. It's something they juiced the. I get what you're saying. Something with the fish, which not really fish inside of it. It has a vibe to it. I want you to be to do the 20 versus one thing where you in the center. I'm H-Foli. Well, here's the thing. A fish taco should be like tuna or salmon, like real fish. So it's so far the other way. It do listen. What is on that? I'm not saying it's no one saying it's not good or packs a punch flavor. No, it was great. You can't say I made fish taco. Dude, if I was at come over my house for dinner and then I rolled that out, you'd fucking have me committed. What time should I be there? Yeah, that's not fish taco. You have to say, "Babe, I wrapped fish sticks in tortilla." Why was she so against fish tacos? I think it rolls off the tongue. I think it's actually pretty nice. Because I think that she wanted it to sound like that she made fish taco. All the more and not fish tacos. What else is she doing? Uh, cheese and then she made the tortillas in the pan. Like she cooked them and some kind of oil. She's in the fish? Just cheese and fish. And I put some habanero on it. That's weird. No lettuce tomato, no crunch. No, no, no. That's crazy. That's why I called them fish-tick tacos. I'm like, it's literally fish-ticks. I think you need me losing the taco a little bit if I'm being honest with you. Really? You need more than just the. Yeah. That's just sad. Did the kids eat them? Dude, we all ate them. He kind of did some lettuce tomato, some onion. You got to jazz that up a little bit. I'll tell you what, I'll even give you some tart. I'm sorry, some tartar sauce. Something. Cocktail sauce. No, I put habanero on there and it was good. I'm a big spice guy, though. I'm with it. I can't do anything. Oh, listen, this goes back to it's good for sure. Listen, I'll send you guys the recipe. Don't worry. I've heard it. I think we're good. I think I got it. For the Honda CRZ. Uh-huh. All right. Ha, there. You guys watched TV with the closed captions on? Yeah. You do. Why? My mom did it for so many years that I think that we just watch a lot of programming with it. Yeah. Anyone in your family ever renew their wedding vows? No, but you know what my mom did the week before my wedding? Is she married her now husband? So she would go to my wedding, uh, a kept woman. Whoa. That's like medieval time shit. That's like I can't go as a, as a, you know, I can't go to some common street woman. Yeah, I have to be married myself. I have to be spoken for. Yeah, yeah. Well, where was that wedding? That was in Kansas. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, I meant what was the what was the what was the turtles wearing what No, that that was I think that they just went to like the courthouse and got it done Yeah, I don't think that there wasn't like there wasn't like a party. There's ceremony if there was I definitely I don't think I was invited Yeah, yeah Now now okay, how is she still with your stepdad? I presume yeah her husband. Yeah So you call we're spec her husband. Yeah, not stepdad. Huh, not step that's her husband. Yeah, it's her husband. Yeah, what do you call him by his name? Yeah, not mister. No, that'd be silly. What is this the same lot? Yeah, we're both we're both men God damn same age Mr. Jason He's younger than me Are you gonna marry my mom before you call it to my wedding or not? I don't know dude. I'm kind of like not looking for something like long term Are you okay with leaving leftover pizza in the oven off until the next morning to have it later or no go in their refrigerator? Oh I really you're not better than me Jeremy. I I just never done it. What do you do with leftover pizza? I just throw on the fridge Is the box fit in the fridge for you or no? You got a deep box I cram it you could man. I fold it and cram it good man I'll give you that because I think that it loses flavor if you put it in Tupperware or something like that I don't disagree No, there's something about it that if you change the environment that it was originally bread in there's something doesn't get this show come on Like literally I just just in a hotel. I had a large pizza and one of those mini fridges Dude, I was rolling up the sides and cranking it in and taking up the shelves I was I had to pull out the bottom shelf to make it fit like diagonally and you won't go swimming Yeah, that's yeah, if you if you put I see if you put pizza in tinfoil and put it in the fridge It's done. Yeah, there's like a what happened. There's like a let like the moisture something the moisture escaping changes The text she gets a little like Regulated he versus dry and out it that keeps the I agree pizza in the box the bags if you put it in like a big Ziploc bag That's not sweating. It's not. Oh, yeah, it's wetty Ziploc. There's something gross about it. Mm-hmm. Doesn't and then it's just gone it's gone Huh, I mean listen if the Sure, you know The he just he's trash and he gets a shot a sister bowling. I've ever been to a wax museum There's one in LA, but I don't think I've technically that would be kitschy if you want Yeah, I'm talking like do you ever go like on vacation with a family? No, good. No, no, no good. Have you been to a TJ Maxx or Marshalls or raw stress for less than the last 30 days? Not in the last 30 days, but I did get my wife's engagement ring at Marshalls I'm sorry. Can you say that for the listeners in the back? I Bought my wife's engagement ring at Marshalls. What? How did this not come up the last time you were here? Maybe it did. Oh, no, what do you say we wouldn't add them back? You kidding me? No, I never spoke to him again. Yeah, I how did that's the okay? Give me the rundown of the scenario of how you end up at Marshall's buying them, but I'm not I'm not shitting on you. No It's okay if you do not celebrate it either. Just so you know. It's interesting choice. Well my Got her wedding ring at Coles. Okay. I had some Coles bucks on me. Yeah, my thing is just that When it comes to Marshall Marshalls all these my my wife Huge she's there four days a week. There's a Marshalls by us. She's there all the time. Yeah when you can get pop culture t-shirts and an engagement Yeah, you know you're in a cool square and food for storage. I Got you a rush t-shirt and an engagement ring you're the one what? The thing about those stores is they just get whatever's left over from the other stores. Yeah, I don't know if that's true It's a hundred percent. I think so standard inventory. That's that that's why they can do those crazy markdown prices on the boards is like Originally was four hundred dollars. I refuse to believe that. I just think they're smart businessmen They're not I mean they are they're smart but they've bought Inventory that does not move elsewhere. You can't go. Oh, you know what I get every that's always in stock You're telling me Harry and David's popcorn with the chocolate chunks isn't is it moving somewhere? How do you get that? We're talking completely different things. That's a specific product that's at Marshalls, right? Yeah, but they get that because that sells that doesn't sell through in other places and they go Well, we've been sitting on these nine cans of food that are like have a few weeks left You think they do that with food too and stuff? Well the food they have there. There's no like First of all, when you call package goods. Yeah, it's package goods and there's about four or five of each thing I don't like you can't go. Oh, hey, you're out of this It's all just milky already. Oh, I've never had this ice cream flavor denim Do you have this ice cream in a size nine and a half by any chance in the back listen? I'm trying to fit into an XL hoodie later. Do you got anything guys? I forgot I had it on yeah, there's just country. It's part of your skin Yeah, that's all just what's available. So how did you Did you pick you just give me the rundown yeah, uh it was at a time where Why two cages happened. Yeah, yeah, no, it was it was at a time where I did I I was very did not have like any money Completely understand and my wife and I were getting into a place where I was like I needed to propose that needed to happen in our relationship like to get to that next phase so Kind of she knew where I was at and I needed to you know commit to that next step Obviously, that's the the relate, you know, it's the symbol of the commitment. We had been together like like almost seven years at that point Like dating and like we had moved in together, but like it was kind of like well, what's what's happening next like in the next chapter kind of a thing and And she's like it doesn't matter to me. I was like really she's like doesn't matter the cost I just want to get married go well All right, if it doesn't matter then like well, let's get a starter ring and Marshall's that Marshall's was the spot would that say you're back 118. Oh, I can't say on the air We bad form we bad form, but let's say it's under $500 for sure, that's good. I respect that. My was a much more cutter lab girl. Oh, fake CZ my wife told me later she spent she after she found out that I got a Marshall's she she said that she was secret Liz is very sweet. She was fixing the ring at a ring's Store behind my back because she didn't want to embarrass me as she was replacing the stones that were falling out of it What a sweet woman. Yeah, yeah, man that almost made me cry. Yeah, I had a little bit of life left in me Yeah, yeah, she was doing that for like months and months and then like she's like oh, I've spent like Like hundreds of dollars. I was like oh, no, no, no, don't spend hundreds You're trying to hammer all dense out of your car That is that is so sweet. Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, she's the best. I was a door wants to I do not remember those days That's fucking sweet. Yeah, I mean listen, that's what a what a way to put a fucking button. Yeah, what a hum big or other ring on it Cut that Luke sent it to him Put it in this file crazy pizza crazy pizza crazy pizza laser crazy pizza Jeremiah walkins one of the absolute best Mm-hmm. I mean, just gets it like that wasn't a test. That was just Let's talk trash. Yeah sure. Yeah, that is what it is a couple of pizza boats and celebrate. Oh, yeah, congrats on the new special love you buddy Thank you very much. I'm coming up. Plug away. Just be out next week. The next couple of days. Yeah, check out standup on spot on YouTube after you check out crazy pizza My new one hour special both of these boys have done it and are doing it again and Trailer tales which we keep getting buddy so many people who are asking like when are keeping foley gonna come on trailer tales Because you guys we gotta get Tammy on here as well. Oh, dude. She would her Chelsea Lynn and Libby Higgins are a couple of the funniest people You will ever meet the sweetest the kindness and they are incredible and like I I hope to be able to to introduce you guys Yeah, we're we're big fans. Yes. Heck yeah Kippy guys were on the road tour starts and the next week or so We're gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin. We're gonna be in Tacoma, San Jose, San Diego, Philly, Atlanta Those are all the dates within the rest of 2026 get your tickets at all you garbage dot com do it Jeremiah We love you. Mm-hmm. Love you guys gang. We love you. Check out his special support Jeremiah. We love you. See you in three days. Hey