Travel Roadblocks w/ Katie Nolan | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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Head to curehydration.com and use code TRIPPIN for 20% off your order. That's curehydration.com. Go TRIPPIN. For 20% off. Subscribe and save, so you'll never run out. And you can pause or cancel anytime. All right. Hello, everybody, and welcome to You Be TRIPPIN, episode 100. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. It's been a great almost two, no, two years going into the start of the third year, everybody. 100 episodes, and I could not have done it without you, the watchers and the listeners. You guys have made it all kind of worthwhile and enjoyable for me, and also all the guests that have come in. But because this is 2026, and because 100 episodes becomes the first of the year, I had to make this one about resolutions. What are we going to do this year? What are the roadblocks you guys have to travel it, to get it out there, doing whatever you want to do? Whatever it is. Maybe you want to go visit temples in Cambodia. Why not do it this year? Maybe you want to go have diarrhea poop sprayed on your foot by a child through a ketchup bottle in India. Maybe go ahead and do it, or drink Belgian beer and eat waffles in Brussels. I say don't do that, because you can literally do that anywhere in the world. It's really not that cool. Maybe this is the year you and your estranged father connect, and you go visit every major league ballpark in America. Maybe, maybe this is the year you buy a UB Trippin' t-shirt. Whatever you want to do, 2026 is going to be the year, and we cover everything getting in your way to make sure you can do it. Let's not die without visiting another country this year for the first time. So, also, by the way, while you're listening to this episode, why don't you go out, or watching this episode, why don't you go out, Jesus Christ. I mean, no, but, wow. Look, you guys, this is going to be the year you do stuff, and you're not going to let anything get in the way. So why don't you go and visit the passport agency while you're listening or watching this episode. Just on the sidebar, go, open an account, make an appointment, and at least you'll have your passport, so you can start stamping it, so when you do decide to travel, you're going to have your passport, and you're going to have your passport, so when you do decide to travel, nothing's going to get in the way. It's episode 100, everybody. My guest today is Katie Nolan, someone who has devoutly really never gone anywhere since she was a fucking little kid, little girl. Her Instagram is at nolankatie, N-O-L-A-N-K-A-T-I-E. Her podcast, The Casuals, is released every Tuesday and Thursday, and her radio show, Fan Service Live, is at 12 p.m. Eastern Daily on Mad Dog Radio, Sirius XM. Wow. Getting on. Getting on with this. Guys, there's amazing places out there, and I know you want to go see them, so we're going to cover everything you have to do in order to be able to go out and, I don't know, accomplish your travel goals this year, so nothing will get in your way. You're going to tell your friends, hey, I'm going to do it this year. I'm going to do it. I'm going to go, you know, wherever. I'm going to go eat guinea pig in Ecuador. Whatever you want to do, you're going to do it, and this episode is going to help you get there. It's been 100 episodes for me, everybody. Whatever your travel goals are, you're going to find them. Mine are to continue visiting two new countries every year. I got six this year. Whatever yours are, you're going to do it, and you're going to get those barriers out of the way. It's 100 episodes of You Be Trippin', everybody. I couldn't have done it without you. I'm so stoked. 2026, it's a year of accomplishing your goals, travel-wise. That's it. Play the music. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're going to talk about travel today. It's You Be Trippin'. You be trippin', yeah. All right, everybody. Welcome to You Be Trippin'. It's a travel podcast. If you don't know, every week I go to a different place with a guest. There's plenty of places I've been. We're not experts. Pretty clearly, we're not experts. It's the only podcast in America right now that has never had any drama. No one's fucked anybody's girlfriend. No one's talked shit about comedians and how they're doing better than them, but not as better than them as they should. It's a travel podcast, everybody. Just fun times. And today, straight from TMZ SPN, she left. What happened to that network? And now, straight to your hearts, from the Casuals Podcast, Katie Nolan, everybody. It's me clapping for me. Hi. Katie, where are we going today? Is this where I tell you I said yes to this because you asked, but I don't travel like this, so I have pretty much nothing to tell you about. This is where you would tell me that. Yeah. This would be the point. I'm trying to do this. It's not necessarily my year of yes, but I am trying to. My agents and everything are always like, you're saying no to everything all the time. That's fine. And you're about to leave for a little bit, and I wanted to see you before you go, and so I wasn't going to say no to this, but I have been over the last few days. Dan has just heard me pacing the apartment being like, I don't have a story. Dan is her father. I don't know. Who she lives with and takes care of. That's exactly right. He's very sick and very tall. So I don't have like a good story. A good crazy shit that happened. No, I studied abroad in Australia. That's fine. For a couple months, but I did it during the summer with somebody else, somebody else's school. So I didn't do it right, and I don't know if you know this, when it's summer here in Australia, it's not summer. It's cold. How cold did it get there? It rained a lot. It was mostly rain. Really? Balls. Yeah, but everybody there was hot. My main memory from being in Sydney was everybody's hot and skinny. I remember just the women wore bikini tops as bras, and they just like, hey, it's hot. I'm going to take this off and just have shorts with bikini tops or jeans with bikini tops, and I was like, I am for it. I was at my fattest. I gained that. There's a box of Tim Tams behind you that I clocked when I came in. I used to eat those. I would eat like, I discovered them when I got there and was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever had in my life, and I think I probably had like at least two of those a week. The Tim Tam 10. Yeah, I gained the Tim Tam 10. It was a lot. I also learned to surf while I was there, and getting into a wetsuit when you're at your personal fattest weight is a really, I don't wish that on anyone. Because a wetsuit also goes straight up, and then when it has to go out and back in. Yeah, when you're just like trying to get into it, and you're like, that's not my leg. That's what two of my legs are supposed to be. It was just a, it was really, with a bunch of strangers. I went to the other side of the world with a bunch of kids who all went to BU together, and I went to Hofstra, so it was like a, I don't know why I did that, Ari, and that's kind of why I'm here. I need you to teach me how to travel. Brad Van Bredekoff? Brad Van Bredekoff? Who was the great coach there? Butch Van Bredekoff? Hofstra? Are you attempting to connect with me? Hofstra? Like football? Basketball. I was going to say football was over by the time I got there. Probably. You don't know? I don't know. Listen, rarely do I get to have a sports expert in here, and whenever I have an expert, if I can. I'm not an expert. I just like it. I just like watching it. It's more ephemeral to me. I'm less of a stat head. I hope you're wrong, but you're probably not. Of course you hope I'm right. It would be very funny if you were wrong. I love that it keeps saying Casuals Podcast because you typed that in at one point. Hofstra? Yeah. Okay, let's see. Legendary coach Butch Van Bredekoff. Butch Van Bredekoff. Okay. Nice. Oh, he died. Well, of course. I don't know. Everybody does. Nice. How did I remember that? I mean, what was the year that it was? Wait, sorry. Coach Hofstra from 50? 1955 to 1962. Why the fuck would I know? In his first stint with Hofstra. Okay, then when? Let's see it here. Look at him. He's in black and white. You know it's always in black and white. Thanks for telling me you're spying on me. The pride of Long Island. Is that our official website? I mean, do you need the full body one? What an ugly header that is. Coaching the NBA. Doing? I don't know. Basketball shit. Teaching young men and making young men into boys. Long career. So he coached Hofstra from 55 to 62. Your eyes are good enough for this? Damn, that's a lot easier. Okay, first stint with Hofstra. Five 21 seasons in seven years. That's something. Five 21 seasons is great for Hofstra. Yeah, well, we were good. We had a minute there. Born in 1922. You would never. Why would I know this person? And they were still the Flying Dutchman then. I wish. We were the pride. The pride? Yeah, I guess Flying Dutchman was somehow deemed defensive. I never really looked into it, but I'm like, that's a ship. Hey, so I got one I want to push. What? You know how they're like, got to rename the Redskins, got to rename the Indians. Got to whatever. I'm not going to weigh in on that. What I will do is, let's take it further. The Twins are regressive against Twins. In what way? You're naming them after a group of people. Twins. This feels like something you've been so excited about. I do. And I want the Sklar brothers to head it up. To what end? For what? Fun. And what would you rename them? I don't know. The Lakes? The Lakes? I don't know. Minneapolis. I mean, whatever. Anything. The Wet Spots? Yeah. The Minneapolis Wet Spots? I mean, if it. I know it's Twin Cities. I understand that. Right. I'm not talking about that. No. I'm talking about we don't really care, to be honest. Sure. But you're just pretending you're. And so the Padres is offensive to fathers. We'd have to change that. I like where you're going with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hadn't even considered that. Right, of course. To Latino fathers. That's right. Or even to what? Religious people. Yeah. Yeah. What are Padres? They're like. Like a reverend? A father? I think so. Not the father, the son, or the Holy Ghost. No. Anyway. Anyway. Okay, so the Twins is offensive. I'm sure you could get it there. I think you've got. I think you've got less of a strong argument than, say, the Indians or the Redskins. So let's do a theme episode. Okay. What. How should we. Do you have any interest in traveling? I would love to be a lady who travels. In my mind, when I close my eyes, who is Katie Nolan? Yeah. I'm like, oh, she's adventurous. She's fun and free and unencumbered. None of those things are actually true. Okay. So when it comes to traveling, much like, let's say, a wedding, the plan stage is where I get frozen. Because I could go anywhere. I could see myself enjoying any of these things. What I can't do is speak a lot of languages. You don't need to. It's the best time. Okay, let's talk about it. Go ahead. Let's talk about your issues. So, like, how are you going to so many countries where you cannot communicate? Okay, here. We're going to do this. We're going to do a brand new note. We're going to bring it over here. Katie's problem. Katie's problems with travel. Okay. Okay. You know what we'll do? I fear that if I can't communicate. If I can't express myself. Boom. How will I get around? How will I problem solve? Okay. Let's go. Where is this? Here we go. Language is one. Yeah. Yeah, capitalize it. Fine. Yeah, you know this is where I'm at, asshole. Fucking. Come on. Come on. Give me a fucking break here. You ride me like a fucking braid of cough practice. Oh, God. This is going to be the theme of the episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What was Officer's. Oh, you told me. Okay, language. That's number one. Yeah. You want to go into all these and then solve them all? Or do you want to go one by one? Oh, that's a good question. It's your podcast. So, what fits better into your usual format? Okay. It's my podcast, but I will let you know. What? I am one of the worst hosts in podcasting. Okay. And that's. The reason I'm successful is because I started before everyone. Yes. Which I would advise everyone to do. Right. Start before everyone. It's too late. Yeah. It's actually. I'm like the last one in. This new podcast, when I made it, they said no more podcasts after casuals. Casuals podcast. We are done. It's it. You're in the eighth wave right now. And we were there in the middle, but I. Whatever. Okay. So, we can go one by. Let's go one by one because I have to think of them as we talk. Okay. And so, I don't know my list. So, how about this though? How about this? If you think of one as we're in one, go, oh, by the way, I thought of another one. We'll put it in the note. And then we'll get back to it. We'll get back to it. Perfect. Okay. Language. Yep. Okay. There's Google Translate now. One, if you're going to any major. If you're not going to the jungle or anything like that or super, super small towns, everybody speaks English. We live in, beneficially and disbeneficially, the number one language. Not really. What do you mean? Isn't technically Chinese the number one language? Oh, yeah, but okay. But you just mean because there's so many people on China. This brings up a great point. Yeah, that I'm being annoying? Chinese don't count. Okay, what? You don't come in contact with them. They don't speak any of the language. So, Chinese are like. You watch Walking Dead ever? No. But. I hate where this is going. You're familiar with it? Yes. Okay. As a concept, zombies. Yeah. And it was like people become the enemies in every zombie movie. Yeah. And then after season one of any of these, the zombies become just the background. That's Chinese. They're just the background. They're there to make sure that whatever you're visiting, tourist sites, is no longer fun and to pack it up and go home. What are you talking about? They have no sense of personal space. They fucking take photos of the sunset with an iPad. They have an iPad in front of you. So what? They're the worst. That's a nice big photo of the sunset. They don't meet up with anybody. They stick to themselves. So, if you meet somebody from like rural. Which I respect. Rural Denmark. Yeah. They might not speak English. They're going to try their best because they're going to stay with you guys. They're going to try to be friendly. The Mandarins, they just don't. Okay, sure. All right. So, you say America's England. English is the number one language. Yeah. There's a German and a Spanish guy and they're in a hostel together. They're speaking English. Do you ever have. Do you ever feel guilty at the lack of an attempt to understand the culture that you're observing? Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Wait. Where is this? Because I would feel guilty. We went to. Dan and I went to a wedding in Guatemala. Okay. And we lost our friend that. Or maybe when we were flying back, the friend we have that speaks Spanish wasn't flying with us. And in that airport, I felt so guilty that I could not just. They couldn't tell me I had. They couldn't tell me I had scissors in my bag and that it needed to go back through security because I don't speak Spanish. Yeah. And I felt like, what an ignorant American I am. Yeah. Unable to communicate with people who I should be communicating with. That's valid. I felt bad about that. That's totally valid. And I suck at learning languages. I'm too old. Let me try to assuage. Nice. Those fears. Is that right? I think. It's not wrong enough where you're like, definitely not. They knew what you meant. You ever have someone say a word and go, what did you mean by. I don't actually need you to spell it. What do you think you meant by that? I'm almost positive that's wrong, but let me see what you mean. I'm trying to say it. Use it in another sentence. When you meet someone in New York, you come across somebody from another country and they're barely able to communicate with you to try to ask for directions. Are you mad at them? No, but I'm different. I'm a sweetie pie. Not everybody everywhere is a sweetie pie. And I don't know if you know this, our international reputation right now I don't think is booming. I don't think people are like, shout out Americans. They're really level-headed. They're really cool people. I'd love to help them in any endeavor in which they need my help. Yeah. Okay. That's another one. We'll get to that. Hey guys, today's episode of You Be Trippin' is brought to you by Mudwater. Guys, you ever get that crash that comes with coffee where you're just wired in the morning? First thing. Yo, you'll get everything done. And then like two hours later, you get the crash. You're like, what was I supposed to do today? What was I supposed to do? It happens to me out here where I can't get that stuff. I get wired and then I'm like, what was I supposed to do? And I remember now what I was supposed to do, find a sick location. Here's where this Mudwater at. And I forgot because I was groggy. I was groggy. 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Up to 43% off with code Trippin at M-U-D-W-T-R dot com. After you purchase, they're going to ask you how you found out about them. Please show your support for the show. Let them know that I sent you. Guys, I'm sure other people would tell them to let you know that they sent you. But don't do that. I need this. They don't need this. Mudwater, you need that. Let's get back to the episode. If you know Quince for their cashmere and elevated essentials, you might not know that they also have luggage that earned them a serious following. Guys, they're great. There's a reason Quince luggage keeps selling out. It's obsessively engineered with durable. Polycarbonate shells, smooth 360 degree spinner wheels that you can push in the airport and let down those gentle ramps where you just let it go and see where it goes. Kind of go, I set you free. 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And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was UB Trip. It's the best way to support the show. The language. Let's do that first. - Yes. - But I like this. We're going to keep doing this. - This is good. - Okay. Already, pause. Don't cut that. I tell them to cut stuff, but that's not just you and me. Pause. - Yeah. - I like the way this is going. - Good. - Okay. It could have gone bad. And I will tell you-- - It could have. When I walked in, I was like, "Ari might not be a friend anymore after this." - I mean, you definitely should have told me. - I know. - Oh, actually, I have not been anywhere. - I know. - But we're working it out. - Okay. - Year of yes, and I'm here for it. - Thank you. Year of maybe. - Yeah. Most places will speak English. touristy places i don't assume you're gonna go to like deep deep places so i want to split the difference between like a resort you never leave and a like too far into like a jungle i want to split the diff in my traveling yeah um you can learn you google translate is right there to the point now where you can talk into it and speaks back huh yeah i was in paris um in july and august but august everything shuts down so i was in a place and whatever that didn't matter but i couldn't tell this guy i wanted this kind of cheese and this kind of sausage and i was like trying trying and then i just spoke into it and he goes oh okay and then he he spoke into a back huh and it and then we got it it's like thanks a lot didn't seem to mind at all huh none of that robots yeah the answer yeah number two yes so you can also just type in there any word or whatever you can it's fun to learn like 10 words and it is please thank you you're welcome bathroom restaurant um hello goodbye um one two three and that's gonna get you by a lot i feel like left and right are helpful too maybe like directions wise that's another level of where is but if a if somebody foreign came up to you and go um i'm trying to think where bathroom yeah where bathroom you'd get it yeah i'd go i don't i'm sorry where bathroom i can't wear a fucking language yeah are you asking me where is the bathroom i was in hong kong doing shows and somebody had a joke that what i remember was going how unhelpful they are he goes if you mispronounce it slightly they go i don't know what you're talking about like you fucking know you know did you come visit new york and go where's the employer state building yeah i wouldn't go i don't know what the fuck you're talking about but i will make fun of you behind your employer what the fuck sure right but to your face i'll go it's right there i do know what you mean at least yes of course yes of course so you can learn that and it's fun and then you put it into practice and you go uh you know dough dose whatever um and then point it's fun you can get by okay okay it's kind of exciting okay so there's that yeah google translate and then learn a little bit of the language anyway yeah and learn it anyway and put it into play and then you ask somebody how to say a word if somebody knows um you know all here you don't change if you travel you don't change the language it's fine all here you change it all the time i'll hear you change it all the time every new country you're like i've got to start over and it's annoying but google translates i saw a chinese woman and a german girl this is antithetical to your whole argument before yeah interacting with each other yeah interesting she was one of the one of the exception that proves the rule and uh and they were flirting with each other in thailand at a bar with google translate and they had sex and they didn't how do you know that how do you know that talk to the guy later and i saw them leave and i was like what happened goes yeah i mean you know yeah so it's doable there is you're absolutely right there is technology that i could learn how to use and could aid me in this a lot of it is my like um i wouldn't say i have social anxiety that's going a little far yeah but sometimes with like uh the best example is like entering into a thing that is like a well-oiled machine and having to jump in and know the way of it how they do things it's like if you go to a restaurant that everybody goes to that has like a counter service and there's a way to order and you go in not knowing anything and you get very like i'm doing it wrong and i'm sorry i'm just trying my best that's how i feel a lot of the time if i'm traveling where i'm just like i'm trying not to do it wrong my first time i got it in and out you know the secret menu on internet yeah and so i was so excited i learned about it i will have one animal style please you give a big wink yeah and it goes well how do you want that i go fuck what do you mean i'm prepped for this double double single i'm like oh man i've learned this i was so excited yeah and that's in america yeah but i get that too where it's like i get nervous of like i'm i'm uh doing this so wrong and someone somewhere is in a corner going like oh my god yeah it gets easier the longer you've been there yeah you ask a few people like what's how do you do this and actually that's kind of one of the benefits you learn about how they do things a certain way which is living i believe they call it that's life that's what within a time when all i do is bitch about how much i hate i'm on my phone it's like well go see the world go see the world bump into it learn from it i go oh wow they do things differently here right and just yeah just kind of like notice it right it kind of like shows you stuff about your own culture the way that they live yeah it makes you kind of look at your life different where you're like oh here it's like a customary to it's like i don't know the way different cultures deal with like their elderly and you're like oh that's so different than so my friend rolf is a travel writer yeah he speaks all the time and uh at schools and stuff and he goes i mean almost every single time they've asked him if he's had dog if he's eaten dog and he goes it's just bound to come up he's really gotten he's traveled forever into weird places yeah and he's always like you guys are gonna fucking that's and they're like do you have you or not and he goes yes i have however in the places that serve dog and don't think twice about it they look at the way we treat our elderly at shockingly bad so let's not judge them because it goes both ways right i couldn't figure out how to do it i was trying to thank you katie it took me 10 episodes of blocking people's faces before i realized myself so i know i appreciate it yeah there's that thing that is that thing of like am i doing this wrong i don't know and then it could get you in trouble where you're like this seems wrong but i won't say anything and then and then one time some guy tried to jerk me off in the back of a bus in vietnam and i thought i thought he was just being too close i thought he was just too close following you and then i go oh my god we're here i don't what are we doing here yeah and i was like okay he's close maybe that's just closer than my culture would get all right i don't want to say anything right i'm not i don't want to be an american prude or something yeah and then all of a sudden you're completing the hand you're coming on your own belly and you're like what am i not to completion i stopped him oh i stopped him that's like a bad haircut i could see myself if i had a dick in that situation being like i'm just gonna let him finish me and then i'll i'll deal with it the repercussions of that i met becky on at plant shed at the coffee shop yeah and he was waiting for there me and i i saw him in the back and i walked by him but i like brushed by him with my leg it's the bathroom and then he didn't look up and then i brushed by him again he was like and then oh it's you he was like i was so ready to fight because the first time i thought was an accident and the second time i was like who the fuck is this yeah um yeah those cultural things are like that's a bit of anxiety and then you learn it yeah and like oh this is how they do things here and it's kind of fun and then you're like i kind of i think i want to start doing that myself that is cool yeah where you like learn from that and adapt you know take a little bit from everybody yeah and some stuff like that's lame that's a dumb way to do things yeah you'd suck i'll observe that you do it while we're here but once i leave i will not be taking this with me yeah in china and a lot of places they have all these like i call them districts so they're like every store is a shoe store for three straight blocks huh and then every store in another district that's a little bit here but not as probably not exactly and i want to tell them like hey you'll make a lot more money if you're the only shoe store yeah what if you're the flower store next to the shoe store instead of being the flower store among a sea of flowers oh while i'm getting shoes oh i'll make sure to get flowers there's got to be a reason there's got delivery maybe ease of the truck only has to go to one just spitballing i don't know that could be it yeah i don't know it still bothers me i could really do that too they do a lot of places so china if you're listening and why would you be after what we said before um they are the worst people in the world they're the worst people in the world i'll stand by until i die fix it yeah um i mean they're doing fine just fine yeah china um learning about next to language you just check that little because how do you feel how do you feel about the answer i think the i didn't know google translate was at the point where it was speaking out loud and also speaking out loud for them so i think that sounds like a like it solves my problem yeah so when you get stuck in a place where you're like oh shit this guy really doesn't know english at all right there it is okay okay learning about culture should we do that next yeah i feel like we did we got it a little bit in there yeah well a lot of people go travel and go well you've met all these people you didn't learn anything about the culture i i think that's i don't think that's why you're even going is to talk to locals and learn about the culture i think you're going to like jamaica to go to a beach yeah and you're going to paris to eat fine restaurants you don't have to know about their food habits or about like how they vacation or something like that you can you can go to a place where they're going and i want to meet like other travelers right like oh this like dutch guy who's in my hostel and then we're yeah i i i like i feel like eat pray love ruined a generation of people traveling because it made you feel like you would have this unique experience like you know we'd bump into a family who would then do this and then the and you're just like it's not really that it's sort of um just what it is it's sort of you sightsee right but some of those sightsees are pretty fucking cool and then sometimes you're just like waiting in line with another crowd of people and you're like it's not really even that cool of a thing yeah i don't sightsee that much i mean if you go to the western wall or the louvre or like or like the berlin wall traveled i guess you went to the louvre when you went to paris yeah and i've been to the western wall Subtitles by the Amara.org community the Burt Crusher flip-flops take them somewhere fucking cool man hey you know what stupid people think you know what the really stupid think that water is the best way to hydrate you oh what it must be like to live in your stupid world that doesn't know anything about 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know why he's cool nah some of you might have the wrong answer here no it's not because he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if it was his full-blooded marriage child no it's not that at all even though you could tell who's no it's not that at all it's because while he was dealing with all he's smoking a cigar cigar arnold schwarzenegger smokes cigars he's on the cover of cigar aficionado but how do you get him you're new to it if you're a guy you know it's cool and if you're a girl oh if you're a girl you smoke a cigar oh that's hot probably what that maid did to turn him on but how do you get him well that's where cigars international comes into play they have the largest selection unbeatable prices and customer service experience is second to none whether you're new to cigars or a seasoned aficionado cigars international takes enjoying cigars makes them easy approachable and fun and now they're offering free everyday shipping on cigars internationals no codes no minimum cigars international is the go-to really for all retailer for all things cigars biggest selection i love them gotten cohibas out of them use my code trippin at checkout for 20 off your order of 50 or more or visit cigars international.com www.cigars international.com slash trippin and the discount will automatically apply guys some exclusions apply but it's a solid it's a solid gift and a solid pickup let's get back to the episode i'm gonna go in and out of this this stuff and ask you a little about your trips did you get laid in australia uh no but they are the social um the way they moved at bars was so different like one again i wasn't at my most confident i wasn't really out there uh for that it was mostly chocolate based a chocolate based trip um i gotta think of a nickname but they uh there was a guy that hit on me when we were leaving a club one night um and they warned us about this in like our orientation they were like australian men will call you that night like they will reach out the night they get your number refreshing or not um it was a little and but then it was also like go away i was just talking to you and i chose to leave i didn't i didn't want to talk to you anymore what are you doing um but no i don't think i did not i did not get laid i did not get laid in australia okay all right whatever did you make friends maybe some yeah i have like a lifelong friend anez who still lives in in i mean australia i don't actually know where specifically the names of things when it's not the main cities are very funny what city were you in or did you just travel i was in sydney okay i was in sydney i went up to um melbourne for like a day day trip there down to melbourne that's what i meant no it's oh yeah you're right it's okay and then but we went up here for something else brisbane cans no it was like uh it was part of the great barrier reef but it was like not a big cool part cans cairns yeah maybe that sounds right cairns yeah like a cairn terrier you went on the great barrier reef yeah but it was like uh pretty dead by the time i was there so it wasn't bright pink it was like a little gray and i just kept thinking a fish was touching me and i didn't like it so i don't think i had like the best time that's a lifer thing though yeah it was a great barrier reef it wasn't what i pictured it to be and i think that's because you get what you pay for and i don't think i was i was a college student so i was just like going up to see it i wasn't like training for it or anything okay i got one for later oh also weed drugs put drugs down what do you mean finding them yeah finding them and not getting arrested or uh uh trafficked or you know having to seek out drugs when you know nobody trust being able to trust the drug that you get from a random person oh yeah okay i can get to all these good okay yeah for every for every reason that is to not go it's like sure but yeah i mean what are we setting a day-to-day problem drugs yes drugs yes i feel like i need to if i'm on vacation you want to find them i want to do drugs i want to smoke a little weed what do you do what's your drug weed just just weed what about like if you're like what about party drugs i've never done i've never done uh ecstasy mdma is that ecstasy i've never done coke all right i stay home and play video games and watch sports and watch stand-up comedy that's my life i snuggle with my dog i order food i read books i don't like i'm not uh do you dance i i'm minored in dance in college i danced my whole life club dance i would dan's not much of a day we're not like going out and shaking our hips but he will dance with me if i make him don't tell anybody i said that you want me to cut that out no i just i just feel like i could see him being like no i don't it's a pretty good damn um um okay that's fine yeah weed yeah let's do that you're gonna say because i dance i should do ecstasy i mean it's more fun the pitch to me that unsold me they were like you um you think you know what happy is until you've done this drug and then you'll and that's when i was like i don't want to unlock a new level of happy because then i'll want that all the time because i'm depressed so i will be constantly seeking that happiness are you on anything i just stopped my antidepressant um but i have add so i'm on generic adderall i would next time which is coke is it not no it's kind of the same next time you talk to your doctor i run by just asking like hey did the what am i on what i'm on does that uh whatever negatively with um mushrooms yeah mdma or okay not that i'm doing it but just whoever knows is this gonna be more dangerous or less or does it will just negate it that's just good advice kids write that down you can get weed at any hostel okay um you just have to go to a hostel my brother ah fuck it um did this when we were at a family trip to costa rica i'm scared i should be the weed guy yeah and how old were you in this it was 2017 okay plenty old plenty old plenty old known as a weed guy yeah at this point it was embarrassing me and rogan and duncan once we were in a in a whatever trying to like roll a joint and none of us could do it and then rogan's like guys if this got out that we couldn't roll a joint we'd be done anyway you guys just like getting a put it in an apple smoke it i think we found someone else we found an usher we're like hey can you do this for us that's great but he was like i'll do it my brother was like he went into a hostel and came out with weed huh so there's that tom rhodes's advice is just stay there's a statue in every in a square in every town stand by the statue and within an hour probably much less someone will offer you weed huh no one's ever laced weed true there's never been a story of someone true that's why yeah that's it's the safest one i'm like i can i recognize it that's why i don't do weed in like the cartridges i only do flap because i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i want i recognize it i see it i know what the worst is going to be is oregano yeah and you're like you motherfucker and you've lost money delicious though yeah but you didn't nothing bad's gonna happen right okay so that solves that i guess also my friend i'm remembering this now who works as a waiter ask any waiter how do i get weed good point and that's me and my brother did in a lot in israel and it worked we asked a waiter he goes i know a guy i can call you definitely be offended you don't ever worry that someone's gonna go like i'm a police officer bang not waiters no okay so do a little research okay i'm a bad traveler even though i travel a lot i'm not great at it i talk a big game and then i don't do what i actually say you should do love that i love that kind of person so i was in greece i finished my last show of my european tour and i was like i'm gonna walk home 70 degrees out and the guy's like no i'll drive you the promoter and i'm like no i'm fine he goes no no it's safer i'm like buddy i travel a lot i'm actually a big traveler i know what i'm doing and he goes well if you know what you're doing you know you're gonna walk through the heroin district to get home so he goes let me drive you a half hour the other way and then you'll be fine but that's dumb what you're doing because i wouldn't walk there so shout out that guy yeah shout out that guy he was right do a little research on how illegal it is okay you know because you don't want to be like you know let's look at new york seven years ago, if you got caught with weed by a cop, he would almost, almost completely, white chick say, "You gotta drop that." And that's the end of it. - Right. - China, maybe not, you know? Do a touch of research. - Yeah, okay. - And almost everywhere, it's either legal, Spain's legal now. - Really? - Yeah, Switzerland's legal. - Sick. - So, or it's like, it's not a big deal. - Right, okay. - Yeah. - Solved. - Yeah, so you find weed that way. Anyway, you might pay too much, but who cares, right? - Yeah, it's vacation, the money doesn't count the same. It's like calories. - I would not advise taking weed with you to a country. - And that I wouldn't do, because that, at any point, could be, yeah, that's like, especially, I don't think it's how it works, but I think about all of the borders you'd cross, and I'm like, they add those up, that's like a bunch of, I'm in a lot of trouble. - Yeah, and that's where the dogs are, I think, at the, when you land from a foreign place. - Yeah, and I would just, you know, crumple under, under any sort of pressure, as soon as I'm interrogated, I'm just like, - Yes, yes, I'm sorry, but look. - I'm pissing my pants. No. - Yeah, so weed's gone, maybe? - Yeah, we can figure that out. - Yeah, ask a degenerate. - Weed's done. Well, yeah, but it's different. I don't, just walk up to a degenerate and be like-- - You know, at the hotel when they're checking you in, if they look, seem normal. - Yeah. - Oh, also, anyone who recognizes you, feel free to ask. - Yeah, okay. That's not gonna happen to me as much, I don't think, Ari, but it could. - If you're with Dan, too. - Yeah, that's true, but they all, it's always, they finance bros. That's, not always. - Right. - But sometimes. - Get me weed finance, bro. Get me weed. Okay, should we go on another one of these, or can we count that as a check? - Yeah, I think so. I think we figured out how to get weed in a foreign country. - Okay. Yeah, and it is fun, and sometimes it's so fucking strong. - Yeah, that is the, you gotta, like, take it slow. Look, I'm a baby, I smoke weed. Almost every day, but it's not like I'm, like, smoking a ton of it. I smoke, like, a very little bit of it, and then I go, like,. - You're happy. - That's it. - Yeah. - I just put my shoulders back and go, everything's fine, actually, for the next hour. - Yeah. Dude, I found some weed in Ecuador, and it was 30 bucks for 30 grams, which I don't understand how cheap that could be. Took me, like, a week to find it, 'cause it was COVID, and it was, like, don't come near me kind of time. Remember that? - Yeah, yeah. - And I was like, well, this must be the worst. It was, like, psychedelic. - Gas. - Sick. - Yeah, it's crazy. - I was, like, seeing, like, lines in the sky and stuff. - Sick. - It did me well. - Yeah, good, congrats. - Thanks. Learning about culture, did we get to that? - I think we kind of did. - We kind of did. We kind of did, I think. Reputation of Americans. That's like, they all hate us. We have a bad reputation. - I think so. I didn't say that, but they don't. - No, that's, here's what they see as Americans. These people come here, we charge them for a meal, and they give us more than we charge them. It's nuts. We fucking love Americans. They see it's $100, and they'll just give us $120. I don't know what's wrong with them, but we love them. - Okay, really. - They love our music and our movies, and the travelers aren't the dipshits from the fucking, you know, that you see online or whatever. They're people who are, like, worldly enough to go out and do something fun. - Yeah. - So I just don't think that's the version of us. They hate our politics sometimes and our colonialism, you know, but then also anybody who's gonna be like, oh, you guys do this, and like, give me two minutes to see what your country's done wrong. - Yeah, also, I'm not, yeah, I don't even know of you. - Yeah, what about, yeah, or you just go, we're number one. - Yeah, that works. I think that counteracts their thoughts of us. - Yeah, it's like, we really don't have that reputation. - Yeah. - 'Cause that's not who they come in contact with. - Okay. - Where would you wanna go? - I can't believe we went to the Great Barrier Reef. That's really cool. - Is it? - Yeah. That's life or shit. - I should've kept a journal. Yeah, and here's my thing, Ari. I, like, live in the moment, and then my memory of it is, like, gone. I don't, I use it up. - I feel that. - I experienced it. I could not tell you specifics about it. But you know what I can tell you? - What? - The capital of every single one of these. - No way. - Mm-hmm. Tuvalu is, oh, shit, I started in the hardest part. Samoa is Apia. Vanuatu is Port Vila. Tonga, I think, is either, I know it. It's in there. It'll come to me. - What's the capital of Turkmenistan? - Turkmenistan is Ashgabat. - Wow. - Mm-hmm. - Where'd you get this skill? - I studied 'em when I had to do Celebrity Jeopardy. I was just like, let me just learn all the countries and all their capitals. - Indonesia. - Jakarta. - Yeah, you know that one. - Yeah. - First of all, have you heard of Tuvalu before? - Apparently it's not Kiribati. Here's the thing, because I taught myself, I can't pronounce anything right. I just say it the way that I read it to teach it to myself. The capital of that one is Tarawa. - Wow. - Nauru or whatever, that's Yaren. - What? - Yeah. - These aren't even countries people have heard of. - Yes, these are. Well, yeah, you're right, they aren't. I had never heard of them until recently. Papua New Guinea is, oh, it's Port Moresby. It says it right there, so that felt like cheating. - Okay. Gabon. - Okay, that is Libreville. Yeah. Yeah, dude. - Goddamn. - Yeah, dude, I'm out here. - Oh my God. United States of America. - Ooh, LA? - Do you know Greenland? - Not a country. It's Denmark. - It's Denmark. - So the capital of Denmark is what? Is that Copenhagen? - Looks like it, there's a star there. - Or is that Sweden? I get that Stockholm is Sweden, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you know. - Okay, I have that if you ever need it. I don't know what I could need it for. - Wow, what a party skill. - It's been fun. - That's a great party skill. - I used to not know where anything was. Now I could, if you took all the names off of the, you need to leave the lines, but if you took the names off of Africa, I could tell you every-- - Chad? - The capital of Chad is N'Djamena. I don't know if that's how you say it. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - What about night, mm, we're gonna skip that one. What about Sudan? - Sudan is Khartoum. - Wow, this is nuts. - Yeah, it's pretty cool. - What, you just sit there and study all day? - Mm-hmm. - What? - Yeah, I just learned 'em. I felt like I should know. I was, what happened was, I was afraid they were gonna ask me a question about a country or a city, and I would name a country. Like, if they asked, like, in what city? And I would say a country. And people would be like, that's so dumb. So first, I was like, I'll study all the countries. I'll make sure I know every, the name of every country. And then I was like, well, while I'm doing that, I might as well know where they go. And then once I knew where they were, then I was like, I should probably know at least the capital. - I had this, I had Monroe Martin on this podcast. He went to Kenya, and we referred to the country as Nairobi for most of it. - That's very funny. - So he goes, I'm a Nairobi passport stamp. - That's very funny. - And people had to go and just, they had to go back, like, guys, fix the cover. - That's pretty funny. - Yeah, and he went. - Yeah. So that's useless, but a little, a nice little diversion. - Okay. Social anxiety, maybe. - Just like, I feel like we also did this with learning about culture. It's like, I'm just worried of. - Oh, right, that's what the learning about culture was. - I know me, and I know if given the opportunity to just stay home, a lot of the time I will. So I think I need a plan, but not too much of a plan that I'm now overwhelmed with trying to plan the perfect trip. I need to know how to strike the difference there in between those two, where it's like planned enough, but with room to move. But if I don't plan anything, I won't leave. I'll just like, enjoy the hotel room. - Which is lame, and you know that. - So lame. The worst possible way to travel. - Yeah. So how do we overcome that? - Plan, but like how much? - There's also something just to get you moving. - Yeah. - So it's either, I'm gonna go out and get coffee. I'm just gonna go walk 'til I get coffee. Even when I moved to New York, I was like, I want ice cream, I'm gonna bypass that 'til I find gelato. And just, it gets you learning the streets. - Yeah, you're right. - So that travel writer guy, he talks about psycho-geography as a way to get you moving. - Yeah. - And different people look for different things, so you just kind of walk around, unless it's freezing cold, and like notice something. So he was doing it in Paris, he noticed that black cat that was everywhere, the chat, chat negro, or something like that. - I mean, that's black cat in French, so. - Right, the chat, what is it? That's it. - Noir. - The chat noir. Yeah, that thing, and he goes, I'm just gonna go walk around, and every time I notice that, I'm gonna go up to it and just take note of it. And it's gonna get me moving around the city. - And what is it? - I don't know. An old book. - Okay. - But there's like, posters-- - In its heyday, it was a bustling nightclub. - In what? - In its heyday, it was a bustling nightclub that was part artist salon, part rowdy music hall. That sounds right up my alley. In the late '18s. - You're a big artist salon person. - Yeah, I love the rowdy music hall. - Music hall is such a great one, that sounds like you're, like, toasting beers, but too hard. - Yes, exactly. - Interesting. - Henry Rollins always goes to find records. He's a huge record guy, so he's like, I wanna find records, so whenever he goes anywhere-- - That's just cool, I don't think I have a lot in common with Henry Rollins. - But like, find some restaurants you wanna eat at. - Do you think he knows the capitals of every country? - Guaranteed not. - He might. - He might. - He might. - He is the kind of guy who might. - Yeah. - But anyway, something to get you moving. So some activities, or just like coffee, or food, or anything, I don't know. Do you feel like you have to do what the thing of that place is great question thanks 50 50 okay um if it's something i can't try anywhere i'm like i gotta try it at least once like you're thinking like food wise yeah i'll get a waffle in belgium right of course so good though yeah yeah but then like you got to get a guinness in ireland i'm like i've had guinness it's like kind of but isn't it the same they're gonna be really particular about it and it's just a beer to me. Yeah. And like how much is the one thing? So like, not how much costs. I'm like, how big is their big thing? So like, I don't know. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. Let me think of one. If you're in New York, you gotta get a slice of pizza, right? You kind of have to unless you're here for an hour. You kind of have to. In fact, it would be hard not to, I feel like. But you don't have to get pizza and a bagel and a beer at McSorley's and you don't have to do all those. But you could. You could. So if there's something massive like the Western Wall in Jerusalem where like this is kind of like a such a unique, interesting thing. And we're all the way out here. Gotta go see. I have a don't be an asshole rule. Like, if you're that close. Just go. You're not even gonna see the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. Are you nuts? Yeah. You're right there. Yeah, you don't have to visit the fucking Doors guy's grave in Paris. Right. And you don't have to like take the Eiffel Tower. The Eiffel Tower tour. You don't have to go up into the Eiffel Tower. But like make it part of your. Yeah. If you're an hour or 20 minutes from the Grand Canyon, like head over there, bro. Right. Don't be a fucking dickwad. Don't be silly. It's right there. Yeah. But, wait, why did we bring that up? Oh, you asked me. How much do I feel like I have to do? Yeah, how much do you feel like when you're near it, you have to go do it? It depends on what it is. A little bit. But then the authentic thing is not like the actual experience. Yeah. So like, we're New Yorkers. We don't get pizza every day. Right. What we do is go to cool bars. Yeah, and talk about cool stuff. You know, be in apartments. Just cool people in the mouth. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah. It's like get drunk and barf on the street. That's the real New York experience. I don't know. Yeah, it's like in Italy, it's like you go to the Spanish Steps, but mostly because you're gonna go have a bottle of wine and hang out and that's where people gather. Yeah, and also, is that the fun thing to do? Right. Like let's have fun in a place. Yeah. When I was in Austria, my friend who's Austrian, she was like, hey, we're gonna go by the river. We're gonna get burritos at this new cool place. Get the burritos and go by the river and like drink beers. I'm like, a burrito? What a waste. And it's like, well, that's what we're all doing. Right. It's like the hip place. Right. So it's like, oh, that's like authentic. It's not traditional. It's not like, you know, some like- It's not what you travel out there to do. Flash fried chicken with like breading. Sure. But like if they're all doing it, then this is a fun time in Austria. Yeah. How was an Austrian burrito? Fine. Fine. Better than New York actually. I mean, a burrito really can be and that's not obviously how it should be, but really anything you roll up into a tortilla. It really is. Really could be. That's how you do fusion burritos. Right. It's just like roll it up in there and we're calling it a burrito. Yeah. It's an honor. You were in Paris. Yeah. I went to, Paris is the most I ever spent on a vacation and it was just for me. It was like on a whim. Yeah. I've been thinking about going on a vacation. I was single and like- No, no, no. Say the whole thing. I will. Okay. I was on one of the apps I started like seeing this guy, a musician that I was like, oh, this is totally gonna and it wasn't. If I'd been paying attention to my own life, I would have been like, this is very stupid. I was clearly just like, had been in a relationship for a long time and was like first free or whatever. You were just banging? We didn't even bang. We didn't even bang. We got close, but it's, you know, sometimes you get your period at a really inconvenient time. So anyway, whatever. I went to do, something that I thought I was gonna like see him at and he just like straight up ghosted me in a way that made me go like, fuck, I am who, what am I doing? I was like, why am I here? I'm, this is pathetic. And so I was like- - Because you're at a place, live ghosting? - It was like a thing. He had a show that I don't remember the details of it. It wasn't good. It was like, if I had been more honest with myself, it had been past the, he had clearly made it clear like he wasn't interested. And I was so like, yeah, this is sick. And so I kind of, I had this like come to Jesus moment with myself. My friend Andrea came and met me at a bar and we were gonna have dinner and then I was gonna go to this show. And then it like didn't happen. And I was just sitting there waiting. And then I was like, what am I doing? And my friend was like, you gotta like go on a vacation for yourself. And I was like, great. And I have a friend who had just moved to Paris, maybe like a year or two before. And I was like, hey, I'm gonna, you know how I always say I'm gonna come visit? I was like, I'm gonna come visit. And I booked the most expensive suite at the most, expensive hotel that had a little balcony that opened up to like the Eiffel Tower. It was like in my hotel room. It was a two floor room that had like, somebody brought my bag. They insisted on bringing my bags up 'cause there was, I wouldn't have been able to get it up the staircase in the room. It was amazing. I like just bled money for a week in Paris. And then I moved over to like the hotel room that's at like the Versailles. It was sick. It was sick. - Wow. - And I spent so much money. It was irresponsible. I sat outside my window one of the nights and smoked like a full pack of cigarettes just by myself drinking white wine. It was crazy. - That's very cool. - It was, yeah. - You must have known you were cool while you were doing that. - It felt sadder. - At the balcony with facing the Eiffel Tower? - Yeah. - And just drinking like a little mini coffees and like. - Yeah. - And smoking. Did you roll 'em or did you buy 'em? - I bought 'em. I bought 'em. It was a-- - I went to Barstool and I was rolling cigarettes and Big Cat goes, "Roll your own?" I'm like, "Yeah, sometimes." And he goes, "Don't you remember how to kind of try hard?" And I'm like, "Yeah." - Yeah. - I know. - Have you met me? - Yeah, have you met me? I'm trying to be a problem. Wait, that's so fucking cool. - Yeah, it was like the way that I was like, this is how rich people travel all the time. I'm gonna let myself do it once. I'm gonna get like the, it was fucking expensive. It was like thousands a night out of, it was crazy. - Did you come back-- - Refreshed. - Yeah. - Awakened, yeah. I didn't even come close to fucking anybody. You would think that on a trip like that, you'd be like, "Let's go out and meet a French." I get very like, "Hi, no, sorry, no." When I'm just in a foreign, I'm not that cool. I'm not out here being like, "Yeah." And then I, you know, I was just kind of going through it on my own. I went to the Louvre, I went to, I hung out with my friend Jennifer, she took me to a bunch of different places. - You went in the Louvre? - Yeah. - How was it? - It was nice, it's an art museum. - Yeah, I went on the wrong day and then I couldn't get in the other day, it was too long. - I feel like I'm not smart enough sometimes where I'm just like, I look at the art and I'm like, "That's very nice." - I have some sort of like, I can't sit in this room for 40 minutes and, sometimes art speaks to you, but sometimes I'm like, I can, it'll speak to me better if I'm like at home researching about it and learning about it. I don't know, it's, I love a museum, but I'm not as, sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for 'em. - I hear ya. You look at it like, if there's a plaque, you could be like, "Oh, cool." - Yeah. - If there's no plaque, then you're like, "What am I supposed to do now? "I like it." - I know. - And then like, I, yeah. - It's stressful. - I'm like, "What's my responsibility now?" It's stressful. - I feel like a fraud. - And then I'm like, "What am I, a fucking loser? "Oh, I should just go home and fucking play video games. "I'm where culture goes to die." And you're like, "Well, it's just a museum," you know? - Yeah. - But you go to these things 'cause you're supposed to. - You're supposed to. That's one that's like, that's the big one. You see the one little painting, whatever it's called? The one chick? - Isn't the Mona Lisa? Is that what you're trying to, I don't think I did. I think I would remember, and I don't think I did. I think the line was too long. I was like, I just, not, I didn't travel out here to wait in line. It's not as, you know. - When I saw, it was closed, but they do, on Mondays, I think, and then they do special entries for high-level people, and it was Brad and Angelina. - Oh. - Not Angelina, it was the crazy one. Jenny from the block. - Brad and, so you mean Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez? - Yep, that is what I meant, thank you. - Not even the same. - Pretty much got it, to be honest. - Yeah, we got there, didn't we? - Pretty much got it. - You knew what I meant. - And we saw them walking around the square. - Oh, that's crazy. - We're like, whoa. One of the friends from my class was right in his face, taking pictures, and all the paparazzi are like, bro, that's not how we do it. He goes, I'm not one of you. - Yeah, fair enough. - I'm getting this picture. - Right. - And then split 'em up, I think. - Damn, that was the thing. Not his drinking. - Yeah, but they got their own private tour to the Louvre. - That's crazy. - Two people. - That's cool. I mean, you could get that, maybe. - Not to the Louvre. - I mean, they probably paid for it. - I can see the, how they cooked the meat at Franklin's Barbecue, get one of those, a three-minute tour. - Which some could say is even better. - Yeah, some could say that. - Than the Louvre. Who wants to be alone with Mona Lisa? - Louvre, we can't even pronounce it. - Louvre. - Louvre? - We're leaving a bunch of it off. - I think it's Louvre. - It is, let's get that started. - Okay, you didn't have any romance there. By the way, I get that same shit, where I'm like, I don't wanna, like people, even if they do talk, which you wanna get into these things, right? You wanna have this experience, and then they do it. - Oh, I went to France, and I kissed a man, and then when a man gets too close to me, I go, is everything okay? - Yeah. - Well, please, I don't want to. Please, I'm not interested. Please, I'm scared. - What the fuck is that? - I don't know, I'm a pussy. I don't know what your problem is. - I have the same problem. - I'm a huge baby. I'm like, oh, we couldn't have sex. I don't know you. - But it's not even the sex. I'm sure once you've talked a lot at a bar or something, you probably could. - Yeah. - It's that first step. - I know. I don't know, I just was very, oh, thank you. Okay, I'll just keep to myself. - Yeah, like I don't wanna bother anybody. - No. - I was looking for weed. I had a girlfriend and I was looking for weed and I was in Barcelona. We were on the main drag. And I was like, fuck, how do we find weed? And then some guy's like, want weed? I was like, no, I'm good. And then she was like, we were looking for weed. I'm like, I know, I fucked up. Somebody talked to me. I don't know how to do it. - I know. I would not have expected that from you. Fascinating. - I'm a bad traveler. - In my mind, you're just out here being like, I'm Ari, I do this. you're like negotiating threesomes at the hostel i just it's my vision of you is that you're not gonna be in this here i'm just here to barter i'm just here she's interested in you now you i don't know if she's your type but i think i could see it working we'll shoot it like this that's my vision of you traveling uh yeah i'm not that great at it yeah it's pretty fun that makes me feel a little better if you can do it maybe so could i yeah yeah um here's one the predispositions about like what what what you're gonna get into and like the things you're supposed to do i think it holds you everybody back we're like i'm supposed to do this and this and this there right instead you should i should be more open and just like let it find me yeah i'll discover things once i get there yeah and what i thought was the big thing there i discovered later it was like no there's this whole other thing that you can get into like i feel like let's do an example okay japan okay if we wanted to go to japan i do once you're over there you're like well we might as we should also do like seoul or like manila and you're like well i feel like once we're over there we should be doing and then all of a sudden you're doing two days in each place big mistake everybody makes right over planning right you gotta leave room for discovering things and just for walking around and taking in the sites and the sites meaning like they're homeless literally right here or like oh look at the people on the outside cafe yeah they're all oh that guy's smoking next to a baby and it seems to be fine oh they leave their babies outside and take their dogs into the bar yeah yeah yeah yeah me and bobby kelly were in copenhagen for a festival and then we're eating we're like how's that baby outside they love they're like the cold is good for them yeah we're like should we go get them the parents they not know and the guy's like what are you guys talking about somebody parked their baby outside yeah they're like what if somebody takes it and like they guys like who would take a baby and you're like oh in my country oh it's quite it's quite profitable on the resale market um where is calling you oh well wait wait let's stay on this well they're kind of related because dan and i have talked about you know he wants to he's interested in japan yeah at this point you should know i'm what a little bit autistic i want to make sure you're in focus okay it's what if i'm not the whole time it hasn't been we started talking about it a little bit and then we're like what if i'm not the whole time it hasn't been we started talking about it a little bit and then we're like what if i'm not the whole time it hasn't been we started talking about it a little bit and then we're start over start over you repeat all that right yeah you are um what if what dan has mentioned wanting to go to japan yeah i'll say language was my first biggest barrier second is we are not that cool dan and i don't dress in a way that japan's gonna go that's great they're gonna look at us and go what the fuck t-shirt jeans every day you two t-shirt jean sneakers every day uh-huh and i'm like if we go to japan i'm gonna be like what the fuck i'm gonna be like what the fuck i'm gonna be like if we go to japan i'm gonna be like what the fuck i'm gonna be like what the fuck i'm gonna we gotta actually like try we gotta like that's where we take our swings no one can see us we'll just take swings on fashion see if this vibes with us see if this vibes with us because don't you feel like you should japan's like a cool looking place it's high on my list of places i should be going have you been you've never been oh it feels like a place you would have gone yeah i know so then i won't ask you about japan because you don't know shit well i really do want to go yeah what are you going to do when you go to japan what would you do obviously right would you just do japan on the trip okay so that's another thing people get into it's the over planning and so they go the first time i went to australia my dad was like oh you should go to new zealand while you're there and it's like no it's it's it's a first of all it's another like three hour flight not close yeah it's not as close as they make it sound like do a new zealand trip another time yeah they're always going to be like i'm going to turkey it's like well may as well go to greece and iraq while you're there well that's not a great example but probably not but like uh gotta go to kuwait gotta go to kuwait your burka game's so good you gotta use it kuwait nice one of the easy ones it's a lot of those capital guatemala what guatemala is yeah guatemala city yeah mexico city oh a lot of those we appreciate those or like uh the capital of um singapore is singapore the capital of jabuti is jabuti yeah it's like uh some of them are really easy city countries are there where the whole country is just one city so there's um i don't think andorra is i think that's a bit but it's very small okay monaco monaco is just a city uh i think vatican city yeah that makes sense i don't know if san marino is just a city or or if it's bigger than that okay um oh now there's got to be more and now my mind's just gonna go singapore but yeah and singapore yeah right that's the only one that's the first one i knew yeah i think jabuti's like small but i don't think it's just one city i can't believe you knew what i've never heard of it tuvalu yeah i don't even think i ever got to one of those is nuku alofa but i don't know which one is wait what were you saying oh yeah sorry the capital of tuvalu is funafuti and the capital of tonga is i believe nuku alofa if if tuvalu was the first one i would have looked it up to check i'm you're the expert to be honest i do know now what it is funafuti from the expert yeah you heard it here first tokyo seems like one of those cities to me i don't know if it's to me that's like like a unique like all those all these overcrowded towns and they're kind of the same everywhere except a few new york paris and like tokyo where it's like it's it seems completely different yeah i feel like just and maybe this is wrong but i feel like waking up in it and existing in it is the best way to experience it i'm just like where do i go now to get my coffee what is the subway like what is the this like living a life like that you know i really there is um is i'll show a picture of the um the street crossing in tokyo you know the one where like everybody crosses at the same time let's see the images do you know what i'm talking about or no maybe it's this it's a four-way cross and everybody goes at once damn wait that's cool sped up it's actually pretty good wow yeah i want to do that okay yeah oh my god and they're like like ants yeah i really want to do that okay you want to cross the street i think we can make that happen okay i want to do the thing where they push you onto the train with a stick what you don't know that one with a stick let's see if we can find that professional pushers shove passengers onto they're onto yeah just cram them in no thank you no thank you yeah i want to do that it's okay i'm shoving them no nope they're all trying to get in no look at this guy so he's just there like this is someone who's clearly not going to make it right you'd think but how is he expecting to get in the pushers god this is wild breed less hey everybody be less that guy got in this is nuts no way oh my god i was wearing a skirt i don't he's just shoving her in body parts how do you get off excuse me this might stop yeah what is the point is that i have to give this is like a crowd crush nightmare she's like fuck it i'm out i'll walk oh my god you want to do this you're saying also i don't see any sticks i don't see any sticks you are correct i thought they had a stick one oh my god i thought they had where they shove you on with a stick well i might be wrong with that maybe a false memory that's okay we got to the bottom of it so i want to do those two things okay derosa told me about like a video game city inside tokyo it's a whole district for video games and everybody plays them and they have everything ever made to use like in a cafe like you just walk into a cafe and play it you're like i don't know i'm just gonna google video game city yeah here's a fun thing yeah just finding out about stuff yeah okay let's go video game city i don't know neighborhood yeah yeah boom akihabara is widely known as tokyo's premier video game in otaku culture district it's a vibrant area packed with look at that electronics stores arcades anime and manga shops themed cafes it's like um making it a must visit for gamers you yeah and anime i'm less of a japanese gamer i feel like gaming and anime is more closely tied in japan than it is in my life but what do you play i would still yeah like dumb stuff uh but retro gaming can visit the legendary super potato store love that classic games classic oh retro okay see we could do this this is great but that seems kind of fun like the experience is like i don't have to learn about your culture right i'm not worried about i mean you are learning about the culture kind of but it's just like join in yeah i like that i would do that okay yeah tokyo seems cool and then i would probably go out of tokyo and go like osaka yeah maybe i've heard of that go to like some other places there's hikes there's that big fiji on an arm on an army base military base what does that mean did the mom like sneak on there to give birth there so he'd be like protected by the military i don't know i just know he was born in japan that's cool does he have his i don't think so no okay because it's the army base yeah it's one of those like it's like it is technically america yeah wow but i had a kimono when i was a baby really that's all i know okay as an attempt to connect with the culture of where my father was born so japan so you could go there with dan yeah it's yeah how would you get it done get what done what would be the steps to planning my trip to japan well i'd google japan trip that's where i'd start okay And then I would try to find a nice hotel. Or I would maybe read about, do you feel how much this hurts me? Yeah, so pause at the hotel. Would you get overwhelmed, which I would, of like, what if I don't get the right one? They're all the right one. It's like college. That can't be true. It's like college where it's like, oh, I should have gone to this. You're gonna make friends no matter where you go and you're gonna say, I'm so glad I chose this college. Everybody does that. Did I do that? Almost everybody. Yeah, I don't know if I did that. Yeah, your BU friends love that. The Hofstra friends love that. You know, all my Maryland friends love that. The ones who went to other places, like I'm glad I went here. It's like, it's just, it's college, it's fun. Okay. You know, what's the right comedy club if somebody comes to town? And you go, you're just gonna have a good time regardless. Yeah, I also, this is making me realize I have to weaponize Dan's part in this because when we were trying to move into our apartment, I got very obsessed with, because we were getting all new furniture because we both just had old furniture. It was gonna stay where it was. And I got obsessed with like, well, where do I start? The rug dictates, the couch dictates the whatever. And so it got to a point where I had this like entire document of every couch that was long enough for him to lay down on and had all of the specifications. And we went to see a couch and I was like, oh, I love this. And Dan was like, do you have this in this color that she likes? And they were like, yeah, I can show you what's over here. And then we finished sitting on it. And I was like, okay, well, I got to update the spreadsheet now. And Dan just looked at the guy and was like, we're gonna buy this couch. And I was like, I would never do that. I never take the step. I plan and I keep zooming in and zooming in and zooming in. And then he finally goes, we have met, you know, the, this is what you want. We're getting this. Is it in the range of acceptable? Right. Dude, I do the same thing. A thousand times we do the same thing. And I have to have someone else come in and be like, someone has to go. It's this. This is fine though, right? Just get this. It's gonna, it's gonna go away. Because I'm like, well, once you start thinking about, oh, I only have so many times to travel in my life. Is Japan even at the top of the list of the places I want to go in my? And then you're just like, Katie, you're exhausting. Just pick a fucking place and go to it. I think any of the, however many places that are calling you in any way are the right places. I don't have any interest in Moscow or Russia. Some people do. Then it's right for them. But I have interest in like 30 other places. And so it's the same thing. I'm like, what if it's like, where does it work out in time and where you are on the road? Yeah. You know? So yeah, find a hotel with decent reviews. Fine. If you have somebody who's been there, go out, any recommendations? I was gonna say, I'd go to probably like Reddit and see people be like, went to Tokyo. Here was what we did. And then, you know, not copy anybody, but just look at them and go, like, oh, is this? What is my vibe? What's not my vibe? Yeah, this sounds like something. And someone will go like, oh, I tried that and I hated that. Or someone's like, I had a very different experience. I really loved that. I love looking up, when I have a problem, I love looking up what people on Reddit have said they wish they knew about their experience before they had it, but they're writing it after they've had the experience. Yeah. Because then I go, okay, they think they should have known that before. I'm in the before stage. I can learn from this. When I went to Paris, I was so nervous. I wanted to find the right like cafes to sit and like roll cigarettes and drink, drink coffee. And I was like, I heard Reddit's making a huge resurgence because everyone's getting, not everyone, a lot of people are getting sick of AI telling them what they think they should do. Yes. And they kind of want to hear it from real people. Yes. Which then you have to go like, hopefully Reddit stays real people. Would we even know if they were all replaced with AI at this point? Are we all already just ones and zeros? Just all getting cycled into this fucking. Are we even real? No. We've been replaced decades ago. Let's blink and be in Japan. That's what I'm saying. If this isn't real, why can't I blink and be in Japan Oh, do it. Imagine if it did. And then we were like, what the fuck? I'm a little baby back. Just people crossing the street in Japan. We're in the intersection. I'm just trying to go, Google Translate. Google Translate. Get me out. Get me out. Yeah. So that stuff, when I saw where I went, I was like, how do I find the right cafe? Like, how do I find the cafes? Yes, you don't want to do it wrong. People on Reddit go, bro, you're overthinking it. You will find a cafe. A cafe is a cafe is a cafe. And there are three on every block. And I didn't realize that until I got there. And every single one of them is full of people that you're like, you don't have a job? You just sit here all day and look at people? I was like, I want to get an Airbnb near a cafe. And they were like, bro, you will. Right. You're fine. Don't just get an Airbnb. Yeah, that's like, I want a book in New York while I'll see a pigeon. And you're like, you just truly drop a pin. We're going to get a tea pigeon. Drop a fucking pin. Yeah, so there's that. So, okay. So that's taken care of. You've got to convince your man. And figure out a time. Figure out a time. I mean, you guys and your. Contracts with your tours and shit. Sure, that's the problem. What's the solution? We'd have to plan it in advance. Now, okay. Now, let me tell you truthfully what happens right now. My brain goes, well, while you're talking about planning, maybe you could plan that fucking wedding. And then I go, well, and then I'll do none of these things. And now I fall back down the stairs. And now I'm like, we're not going anywhere. We're not going on a trip until I plan my wedding. I was like, I'm not planning my wedding until I get a job. And then I plan the podcast and got a job. And now I'm like, I don't. It's the order in which to do things always fucks me up. Yeah. Because I'm like, well, what if. I know. If I go on this big planned trip and my family's like, hello, please get married before we all, you know, before the world ends. Yeah. I'm in the same thing right now. I got to get everything taken care of before I leave. And I'm like, I'll do one thing at a time. But sometimes like. But one thing includes four weeks of shipping. Right. To get something here. I'm like, oh shit, I should have done that before. I should have done that later. And now I'm fucked. And then I do none of it and I scroll Instagram. It's so. Ari, it's so true and embarrassing. Yeah. What an embarrassing truth just sitting there. When you go, well, there's so much to do I couldn't possibly do. I guess I'll just watch TikTok. And then like, you could have got them both done. I know. I know. Okay, here's my advice of overcoming that. My promoter in Romania wanted to plan this trip to Thailand or whatever. Let's just say Thailand. It might have been. Bucharest, right? Yeah. Yeah. Underrated town. Really? Yeah. All their. You know how Berlin is like electronic dance music is their underground scene? It's post-punk in Bucharest. Oh, cool. So the same dingy, like dark, whatever, warehouse-y things. Yeah. They're doing like Susie Sue and the Banshees and like they're all dancing to that. It's pretty wild. That's kind of sick. And like the people there are nuts. Good gymnastics too. Yeah, we all know the one. Yeah. What's her name? Mary Lou Retton? Nadia Comaneci. So anyway, he was like worried when's the right time, same sort of thing. And I was like, so are you going to go? And he goes, you know what I did? I just bought a plane ticket. Yeah. And then that made me figure it out. I bought it for four months from now and if I'm three weeks out, it's actually coming. Right. I have to go. I'm going to waste a ticket. No one wants to do that. That's not bad. It's really not bad. Get the ticket and then put it on each of your calendars. Basically screw yourself into doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, hey, we can't book anything right now because we're doing this Japan trip and then like as it gets close, I mean some stuff you can do on the way to the airport. That is an igniting flame and I'm feeling like, oh, okay. Because I'm always looking for ways to basically trick myself into doing the stuff I have to do. Uh-huh. Because if I have to consciously do it, Yeah. that's where I struggle. That's where my brain goes like, well, and I can't possibly start until I do this and then I do this. But if I just can trick myself into like, well, look, now we're here. You're not going to throw away, you know, $2,000. Yeah, we're not going to throw away the money. Yeah, you got to. You already used it. You have to go. Yeah. That could work. Yeah, that could be it. You clear, like, well, what do we have off and it's unlikely for something to come up majorly. Yeah. All right, that's the week we're doing it. You never know when something major is going to come up. But unlikely. Yeah. And then my brain also just goes, well, what if instead of going so far away, what if we do, we start small, we go on a weekend trip or like a middle of the week trip to somewhere not super far away, but somewhere that we can just go on a little jaunt, like a London type thing, and then we go. And then pop back over, you know, like not go all, because Japan is like, how long is that flight? You've probably got to go this way, right? I think so, yeah. Yeah. And I've done this flight and that was like a day. Fucking shit. Crazy. And you have to fly to LA first and then you take off from LA and go all the way. And that's a forever flight. Crazy. I was going once from LA to Australia and the first time I went, it was on a UFC free ticket, first class. Damn. Dana White came up to me. What? And he goes, do you know how much your ticket costs? What? Because Rogan had his contract, he gets a free companion ticket when they were going to like Alabama was the big exotic place. Right. He negotiated that. He goes, do you know how much your ticket costs? I'm like, I know. Give me half of it, bro. I'll sit and coach. I know. You don't think I desperately need 12 grand? Right. But it was nice. That was the first flight I took where I wasn't in first class. It had a first class experience because they know you're on that flight for so long. That was the first flight where every chair, this was also partially the year, but every chair you were at had a TV, with an unlimited, like on demand of anything. That was early on too. I was like, this is crazy. I was like, everybody's sleeping. This is nuts. I'm going to watch like the entire Summer High Tide season. Like this was, it was enruled. And on the way to Australia with a perfect show to watch. It was perfect. It was the best. Mockabay. So maybe I go somewhere closer. Maybe I don't dream so big. Maybe I don't take such a big chunk. Mo Gadishu, the second time I was in Australia, I got my seat and it was a guy who was, who's Ralphie Mays. Wait, I'm trying to think. Who would you know that's this fat? I know Ralphie May. Lev Fur, but like. I know Ralphie May more than I know Lev Fur. Okay, Ralphie May. And so he was sitting next to me and I put my, I was like, hey, you know, I put my stuff down. And then I went to the stewardess and I go, hey, no way. No fucking way for 13 hours. - What's he supposed to do? - He's not supposed to do anything. - They need to do something. - But I paid for a full ticket. And they go, sir, what do you mean? And they walked over. They go, I'll get you a new seat. - Well, that was nice of them. - Yeah. I'm like, I'm not gonna make a big deal of this in front of them. - I do feel like their flight attendants must be better equipped to go, I'll take care of that for you. It's 13 hours. Because sitting that long on a flight to have to do anything uncomfortable is. Also, you know who's flight attendants I feel the worst for? LLs. Why? Just because of the high-business. Because it's all these fucking pushy Jews going, give me another bag of chips. Hey, can I get this? Can I walk into the cockpit for a second? I just need something. Oh. Can I get a little pair of those wings? Do you have any wings? Can I get some wings? Can I get wings? Can I get a few more? I might need them for later. I know other people. I got other kids. Other kids, I promise. Yeah, where could you go that's not that far? All of these. What about Cuba? That's not going to happen for you. Why is that? What's that? What do you mean? It might be too rustic for you guys. What does that mean? What's that mean? For Dan. What do you mean by that? I mean for Dan. Meaning what? I don't know if he's ready to do that level of rustic. Okay. Of not having luxuries. Maybe power outages. Damn. You called him a soft-handed baby just now. I just don't know. You said he's got no dirt under his fingernails. I did kind of say that. You did. You just called him veal. His feet have never touched the ground. Dominican Republic. I've been there. Okay. You have. I went there on another one of those trips where I just grabbed a girlfriend and was like, let's go on a fucking vacation. And we got a cabana. And we just lived there. I don't know. Hold on. What's the resort? It was a resort. It was like seven seas or seven winds, seven sands. Yeah. Google Maps. DR. I know this. I know what I should do. If I can get it before I type it in. There's no way. There's no chance we're talking about the same place. There were a million resorts that I thought, I think, I thought. It's the part of it. Punta Cana. Oh, yeah. I think so. I think it was Punta Cana. That sounds right. So how was it? It was great. It was, we just, all we did was like read shitty beach reads and drink drinks. And it was all inclusive. So we went to all the different restaurants. Oh, interesting. Yeah. It was like literally. Not interesting is what I mean. Yes. It was one of those vacations where you go like, oh, you didn't see anything of the island. You enjoyed it. It's an ocean and it's coast and it's resort. But Louis convinced me on this where he goes to Jamaica and he just rents a villa and just like stays there, has a chef come in. And I'm like, but you didn't see anything in Jamaica. He goes, I'm not looking to. I'm looking to be at a beach, at a beautiful beach and Rockaway's not cutting it. Most of my vacationing has been like when it's been two years since I've like left my home type of, or I've been working and I go like away to somewhere. Like I've been to, oh, what's the island that I think got really hit by a hurricane? Turks and Caicos. We went to go back. I went there. We got to go back. We got to. Yeah. I went there for like a week and just like got hammered on the beach and like took a break, turned my phone off, took a fucking break. That's like a, and that to me is what resorts are good for. But I don't want to go do that in like a place you're traveling to. It's like, I'm trying to just go to a beach in those situations. I got it. What? Mexico city. Okay. Have you been? No. If not for comedy. Top five country cities I would move to. But no comedy, dead comedy scene. It's not for me there. There's no, there's like a lively one, but like. And Mexico's not mad at us in any way. They don't resent us in any way. Why would they? I don't know. Just the way we're kind of. Treating the people that left Mexico. The way we, well, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's not the ones. Just think, I meant more like the rhetoric in general, how we speak about it as a, as a country isn't current. It's not us. It's the, so me and Bobby were in Cuba. Yeah. And, and one guy, not all of them, it didn't come up at all. One guy goes, Hey, I don't blame you. And I was like. Oh. For the first, I was like, why would you? Oh. Oh, right. Cause, cause Kennedy crippled your fucking economy and no one reversed it. Yeah. Oh, fair. Yeah. You go, I'm Canadian. So I don't even know what you're talking about. I brought Canadian money. What's crazy is that I'm Canadian. That's so crazy. I get what you're saying because, cause I'm from Winnipeg. Yeah. A city you won't know enough about. Yeah. You guys are looking up. I'm looking down. So it's, you wouldn't ask a followup if I say I'm from Regina. Boy, I tell you, they don't talk like that in Saskatoon either. What about Mexico city? It's so fun. Okay. The food is amazing. Okay. It's gentrified and safe in lots of parts of it. There's also the art scene is crazy. What keeps me that I need it gentrified and safe? Well, cause the fear of Mexico's people go is like Tijuana. Oh, I don't, they do? Everybody thinks Tijuana is happening all over Mexico. That's the problem with America. That's pretty wild. Yeah. That would be a pretty wild, dumb thing to think. Don't you? Yeah. They view their countries as one thing instead of like, there's different regions. Contain multitudes. Yeah. People always go like, isn't that country, isn't Brazil dangerous? You're like, what do you mean? Where do you mean? Isn't, isn't America dangerous if you're trying hard enough? Yeah. So what about Mexico city? That's a quick one. You can direct flight for sure. What do you do when you're there? Ruins. You could do that. Walk around, get amazing food. One taco and move, one taco and move, one taco and move. Ooh, a taco crawl. Definitely. Yes. They have a mapped out by the way. You can map out your own. I know people that can map out a taco crawl for you. Sick. Um, bespoke. I like that. Frida Kahlo's house was awesome. Uh, Norman's been there and get advice from him. What do I've been there? You can get advice from me. Like the must, this shit, which Alibre so fucking fun. Dan would love it. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, it's the roots of what he's into. Yeah, it's so fun. Drink shitty beer. Well, you can't do that. You, I will. Yeah. And then he can carry me back to the, absolutely. You're so light. It works both ways. I'm so tiny. Put me in your pocket. There's no more big Katie. She's gone. She's, she left. That's the nickname you came up with big Katie. There's another one. You could have had to think of like, Nolan rhymes with bowling, bowling ball. That's just not there. There's something. It wasn't coming to me. Yeah. One 80 Katie Norman. What I said? One 80 Katie. One 80 Katie. You were correcting me once when I was doing a Mount Rushmore of a weed. Remember that? No. I was doing a, I was doing a weed episode on my old podcast and I said, sodas on the Mount Rushmore weed. I said, he's on the Mount Weedsmore and it was like, nah, it's not where I, and you go Mount Kushmore. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, there it is. There it is. That's not really a skill. You could argue it gets in the way of yours. If you wrote Mexico city would be an easy flight. What? Let's check it. Six, five, eight, six. You can get here. Wait, Ecuador in like, in like six. Quito, capital of Ecuador. Let's do kayak. Hold on. Where are we? Oh, over here. Okay. How long do you think? What are you guessing? How long we would go for? No, no. How long do you think the flight would be? Oh, uh, we'll say, I'll say seven, six. Big money, big money. Five hours and 20 minutes. That's nothing. 3 p.m. Land at 620. Be safe here in your hotel. 9 40 a.m. Be there at one. Don't worry about danger. Getting in at night. Okay. That's not bad. Three Oh four. Nothing. One way. So 600 probably round trip. I mean, Delta, he's got miles. He's got miles. Okay. You could do a show if you really wanted like day one or last day and make the whole thing tax deductible. Literally the whole trip. If he does one, if he does one show bar show, he didn't have to be a major show. Even though we're documenting. I'm saying this right now. It's still the reason for business. Okay. One bar show 250 on that one. That's economy too, but like, yeah, the whole thing. That means the whole thing is that Viva. Oh, you don't know Viva. We have a new airline. I don't know. Yeah. Right. I don't know. I've never heard when you see a new car company. You're like from where you're doing new cars now. What do you mean? You're a new car Mexico. Okay. That one operated by Delta. Maybe Viva is just like a Mexican and I'm operated by our Mexico. Yeah, maybe Viva's life. Sure. Um, so how about something like that? That's not far. It's not that, and it's not bad. And that means you could go for, for you. Don't regular work a regular job. I there's Dan. I Tuesday, Thursdays, I do a podcast, but I can literally do that from anywhere. It's two of my producers zoom in. So I could zoom in. It's like easily for, what do you go an hour and a half, two hours, hour. Okay. Yeah. You could do that from a reliable, good internet. A lot of these, a lot of these Airbnbs. Now go list the 100 megabytes a second, whatever, as they should. Um, I mean, that's doable. Okay. Possibility at minimum. So what do we got? Japan? Is there a wrestling season or is it happening all the time? Thursday at the, at the arena and it's the one place they don't ever stop. It's so much fun. There's kids on shoulder screaming. There's characters that they all know. Crazy. Um, you can get these for like $10 outside. Yeah. The taco scenes. Nuts. That could be really, that could be really fun. Yeah. And they have like Michelin restaurants for like 80 bucks a meal. Really? Yeah, man. Poo hole. I think poo hole. Yeah. Hold on. If we got this right, the tough, like Albert, I'm going to leave that one there because we might get back to that. Yeah. Hold on. Poo hole restaurant. I'm definitely got it wrong. Right. I did get it right. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. Reservations ahead of time or wait list. But that's just one. There's also tons of everything. Oh, I mean, we can't laugh that that's poo, that that's, that that's what that means in our language that we can't laugh at poo hole. Poo hole. It's very funny. It is. And you can when you go there. It's like you got to eat at butthole. You 100% can. Yeah. Get some Cuban cigars if you want. Yeah. Um, mota. Get some mota. Some weed. Oh, that's how you say weed? Mm-hmm. Let me write that down. Yeah. Mota. Yeah. That's, that's the universal language for weed. Yeah, that could be a cool one, or you can, or Lisbon or like there's a ton or maybe like Sweden that's kind of far right it is Dan's been to Stockholm yeah episode about it still coming hmm okay these are this is more progress than I've made this is more progress now let's do my wedding okay okay yeah and then I'll get over here eventually yeah and you want to get back to Australia I want to go visit my friend she came and visited me in New York twice and I haven't been back to visit her because that flight is a nightmare to me you also can bank episodes you do have oh you can't really with sports it's tougher yeah it's not as easy but also then you could be like it's like you remember when Conan would go to like other cities yeah so like hey I'm reporting on on AFL this week I'm gonna do a hard hitting report on Aussie football it's just you know me hard hitting reports I mean you know whatever you make fun of it and go yeah I saw a guy get knocked out during a halftime thing they were doing like hard catches and they fucking hit his head and this ball rolls away and everyone's like game's over game's over like the halftime game's over but then like yeah yeah so you could do something about Australian sports go for state of origin okay there was a women's world cup over there recently that I really wanted to go to yeah that was gonna be my excuse it's a deductible trip also for sure yeah there's look there's a lot of places to go and I will go to them yeah you do you can work while you're gone yeah you can zoom in you might have to wake up at two in the morning oh yeah the time difference is a pain in the butt but not if we go to Mexico that won't be no not if you go to Mexico that's not crazy right I mean there's a bunch of them but that's like doable I know so but that seems like the same distance to London also cool yeah but not as foreign not as foreign I love London I think it's I think it's cool I like the what do you like about it huh what do you like about it what do you mean I don't know I just know that when I went to Liverpool to watch a game yeah we flew first into London and we had yeah exactly we had a we like I had to stay in London for like a night or whatever and it was very quick and it was like rainy and cold but something about I just liked walking around I like felt yeah I was like oh this is cool I like it here the rain's not like torrential right it just makes you it makes everything cooler in a grey way you feel like a spy in Prague yeah I'm just like oh something important's happening and I'm a part of it yeah I don't know doesn't make any sense but sometimes you just get a vibe with a city and I like London yeah food I don't know maybe not maybe not the maybe not the the greatest no British food's not great right they have the best Indian food the best Turkish food the best like yeah they steal the best yeah yeah yeah they're great at it isn't their national I think their national food is chicken tikka masala which is hilarious you're like you are it's clearly not yours it can't be yours it's so clearly not yours it's uh oh Alison Roman is rolling over in her fucking grave right now at that ability I think she's alive she is I do think Alison Roman is alive they just wrote her off for dead um it's not a stew it's a curry you bitch Jesus leave her alone okay alright it's just a recipe can we eat it let's try eating it yeah those are all fun places Lisbon people have been to they like Norman's been there I've not it's wide open so now we're gonna get back into the same thing of like oh shit there's too many choices there's too many choices get a ticket yeah you just gotta get it narrow it down buy a ticket yeah so I like what you're saying start with somewhere that's not crazy to get to and won't take a lot a lot of time cause if you're going all the way to Japan you're not going for four days right that's retardo right you'd gotta you have to like go yeah 10, 12, 14 yeah so these can be long weekends and also well you go Tuesday, Thursday I mean if you go if you go on a Monday if Dan doesn't Dan doesn't show on a Saturday or don't but if you do Dan doesn't show on a Saturday to make it tax deductible you report on a fucking soccer match to make and then you come back the next Wednesday if you want or just any four day period you've missed no work anyway I'm more excited now than I was before I love this this is yeah you've actually got some legit things yeah okay so this is now planning and the roadblocks to that yeah which is choose a place get a ticket and commit which forces you to have a deadline to hit to get the other stuff yeah Reddit for like advice yeah don't worry about the hotel every hotel's fine yeah also any roadblock presents like if it's raining horribly in Hawaii you're like it'll be like 10 years later you're like remember that time it rained all day and we learned how to play cribbage with those with those Germans yeah I like that like don't plan on or worry too much about what happens once you're there it's not like yeah we ruined our trip to it's like only a few days only a few days if you let it you have to let it give you a different experience but you still have to experience it yeah like they life doesn't stop in Hawaii when it rains so what do they do and then you do that and then you yeah I get that I'm with that okay I'm hitting the I'm hitting the check mark I'm planning yeah I think so right I think so you've helped me at least hack it a little bit predispositions I forgot what that even was I don't even know why you wrote that I didn't tell you to write that you didn't tell me to write it it feels like you wrote that on your own um yeah what about money how do you you definitely need some how do you do you wait till you get to the airport you do it at the exchange thing at the airport this is good for advice yeah hey guys when you're writing the advice book maybe put this in advice I'm doing a travel I ask everybody for travel advice oh okay at the end and we're gonna do a coffee table book great I get some at the airport before I before you leave or the airport when you arrive or when you arrive before you get out those doors with a cab drivers are coming at you and you're so overwhelmed I think I'm a lot like you yeah I think I'm a lot like you with this stuff and I'm like oh no it's too much yeah and I'm afraid so you research how much should a cab in Decentro cost yep and so when they hit you with like 600 you're like it's 30 not 600 it's like I'm not dumb but if they go it's 34 go that's about what they said yeah sure let's take that always say how much will it be before you get in the cab yeah or before you start going so they have to stick to it very smart so they don't hit you with something crazy once you get there and it's too late to negotiate but I get like a day's worth of money before those doors open at the airport smart so either in New York or there just take out but also last time I went to Australia I didn't touch a single bill really it was tap and go tap and go and almost everything is that now huh but I still want to have some cash in case there's a taco stand and they go would you have some when you tap to pay yeah and it asks if you want to pay in your countries I don't think it matters or the other countries I don't think it matters or the other countries I feel like it does but I don't know which one's the right answer I don't know either I do not know the right answer somebody does I'll Google it there's an exchange and I'm like do I exchange before or do I exchange after I don't know yeah yeah Google it for fun I'll Google it for fun yeah just to see be your best Jewish self get the answers to these questions okay I can do that but just for a small anecdote when Dan and I went to this is the type of thing for small anecdotes a traveling one too oh you couldn't have picked a better place for this anecdote Dan and I went to my parents have a time share somewhere in Mexico yeah and we went down for one of those aforementioned vacations where you just like sit by the pool and drink apple soda which I cannot believe America we don't really do apple soda apple soda is so good apple soda is like underrated good it was just in Mexico and I think you can get it here but my point being it's not like our son kissed you know it's like a not popular and it's crazy because it's so tasty but anyway we got off the flight and we were walking through the airport and I had booked up us a shuttle to go straight pick us up at the airport with our names and take us directly to the resort just to bypass any of the questions yeah sure some guy comes up to Dan in the airport a traveling man Dan does travel he doesn't maybe not internationally a ton but he travels constantly every week and a guy comes up to us in the airport and said taxi and Dan's like yes we would like a taxi and I looked at him and was like huh no we don't first of all I booked it and you know that second of all when have you ever been and gone someone goes when someone comes up to you at the airport you come to JFK every time when they say taxi like beat it they're not driving a taxi it's like how are you and it's a bit overwhelming so if you can book a taxi to your hotel or something now you put your stuff down let's breathe for a second let's go down to the lobby let's look out a little bit everybody pee do what you gotta do I'm not overwhelmed my stuff is down and then you can ask the concierge like is it safe around here and they'll tell you yes or no it's almost always yes and then like alright let's go for a walk and then we'll figure out something later but I'm in the same way I need slow I don't like to land at night where I feel more danger but by day two the danger feels gone yeah I think I'm the same way once I'm in somewhere I'm so excited for you now I have to I also just realized I have to renew my passport it's about to go and the problem is it's about to go and I don't have a real ID and New Jersey which is where my license is which is where I need to get it renewed you will need one I know and it's fully booked I can't make an appointment for one anywhere for a real ID I'm like trying and I can't and if I get my real ID then I won't have an ID for when I need to renew my passport and if I renew my passport I won't have my passport able to get my real ID I'm like really fucked oh fuck and I've just been putting this off wait you need a real ID to get a passport I think I need to show my passport to like one of the ways to get a real ID is like you can show your passport you can show a bill you can show a whatever so I'm gonna have to them coming up at the same time is not good that's one where you should - I gotta do it. - Kinda tonight, just apply for a passport. - No, okay, Ari. next thing sticking out as like a tourist traveler I took a trip with my parents to Italy when I was in high school the year that the Red Sox won the World Series I actually was in Italy for the Sox Yankees series that was the greatest moment of any baseball fan's life I didn't watch any of it live it is the biggest regret Mariano came in it was 3-1 I think that was how it ended um pretty sure that's that's the last of my memory Mariano came in it was over yeah well at least you have a memory of it because mine are all just from the documentaries about it and re-watching it when I got home my parents were like my dad's like ah they're down three they're never gonna come back and Mariano's coming even if they come back we still gotta win two more games but I went with my parents and my dad the whole trip was the stereotypical backpack the high socks with the it's tied around him he's still got something taken from him he like tried to do all the little tricks of like wear your passport and blah blah and they still somebody still knifed one of his they snipe knifed the bag of one of his uh and let them let him kudos you did that much work good job how did you not feel that a man took a knife to your backpack it's but he every time mosquitoes here out of control every time I look at like a picture of him from that trip I'm like he's my dad and I love him like my dad but I'm also like my god we are the like you know Katie we're exactly the same I feel this legitimately it bothers me to to be the one who sticks out yeah two stories for you okay one I asked H Foley you know him yeah okay shout out shout out H Foley uh he went to Paris and I was going so I asked for a couple restaurant tips or whatever and I'm like did you learn French no zero I'm like weren't you worried about being the loud American you know the guy like he goes no I didn't even think twice about that I was like garçon I'll have one more of these this is amazing he felt no shame yeah didn't even think he should have and he had a blast that yeah they said everyone treated him great yeah because he's so cuddly yeah and they tuned into it and he was having a blast earnestly be and that probably is also my dad my dad probably had the best trip of his life yeah he's on all the videos just narrating here we are down at Saint Mark's Square you're like oh he's having the time of his life yeah he doesn't care what they think at all my friend Derek I was in Myanmar and he was afraid he wanted to take photographs and he was afraid of um of napierdaw does that sound right that's what I think is the capital of Myanmar I don't know how to say it out loud but it's spelled like napierdaw damn your computer shut off on us that's how long we've been talking I know I got to get out of this um studio because it's um everything's breaking like legitimately everything's breaking I don't have it here damn thought I had his picture he took so he loved taking photographs okay he was afraid of sticking out as a as a tourist if he had this big fucking you know with the long lens cameras yes and he goes I'm gonna stick it up we're gonna see how much tourists and his buddy goes you're a six foot two white guy do you think the camera's what's giving you away that's so true and that's in Burma big yeah yeah yeah so just like it's okay you're a tourist they have tours you are what you are yeah you're not actually ruining anything you're a tourist you're not embedded you're not breaking into some place they're like yeah we have restaurants for them and hotels for tourists and that's helpful for our economy when you are a tourist yeah yeah so like just be the tourist but don't get a propeller hat you know you know unless it's speaking to you unless that's what you unless that's what their local culture is into I struggle with the same thing but it's dumb you know the meaning of the word struggle because I feel like you do you just power through it you've done a lot quite a bit of traveling yeah I clearly struggle with it it is oh right you know I think you feel it I feel it I don't think you struggle with it yeah I when I got to Paris I literally didn't open my mouth for two days I got so hungry because I was like I'm afraid of looking like an American yeah and so I was couldn't be like you know whatever I learned and they're gonna see through it and I was like fine I got so hot I was like I will I gotta get the Airbnb left me like some cheese and once you ate through it yeah I'm like I gotta yeah yeah and it just wasn't a problem yeah and if it was awkward it was awkward for 30 seconds and you got past it and you lived your life Katie I think we're you're in a way better place now to go do this can I be honest yeah I think I am too I it's still possible I go home and don't do anything about it but I feel a lot more like I'm gonna do something about it than I did before I got here and isn't that sort of the whole point of you be tripping don't I be tripping go get high with your buddy with your man my buddy yeah is brutal and just go I'm gonna tell him that you called him that and and I'll deny it there's no record of it go get high with your pal that you live with and as you get high go let's talk about a place yeah the close ones I would say unless it's Japan and go let's just pick a date right now and then just go like let's get a ticket right now - today yeah why not should maybe the only why not is my passport I think I should do my passport first this is gonna be six eight months out from now right I hope so I mean you're not going right you got to clear the schedule so it's not that yeah okay you're not going right you got to clear the schedule so it's not that yeah okay so six months out from now okay you'll have your passport in a month I also think he's starting a tour soon okay so like what's your tour over yeah two weeks after that let's let's three weeks after that well what if I'm still tired great a month and a half after that let's just pick a date it doesn't really matter stop yelling at me yeah so screaming at me I'm trying my best okay I'm very scared okay so then this is what I usually tell people at the end of these episodes was to us if you have any travel advice or tips of any kind get a get a get a get a hotel that overlooks the Eiffel Tower I mean do it one time one time if you've come into money in a way that you have it I know everybody's situation is different I was very lucky I had money I never spend my money I spent it on myself but like treat yourself in whatever that means to you I would absolutely do that but yeah okay well I would write I would you should journal don't make journaling feel like it has to be that you've got to write some profound thought just literally jot down what you did that day and like the times that brought you the most joy so that in moments like this when you go I really don't remember my trip you have a document of like oh that's right that first day our they lost our bags and so we had to go eat at that cafe and while we were there we had we tried our for the very first time this type of bread that I had never heard of yeah and then you yeah that way you know what you did and you can reflect on the trip I always build it up in my mind like I'm gonna write I don't I'm not feeling creative it's like nobody gives a just write literally write down what you did today yeah that they call it um bed to bed to breakfast or breakfast to bed journaling yeah I've never heard of that but you're not trying to like uh get anything profound down you're just documenting the day and then if I have to if I have a story about somewhere and I go back and look I'm like oh wait that guy I forgot that guy was even there yeah or like oh yeah we did go to that one restaurant right oh yeah that's what that it just brings it all back because you wrote it down and it's 10 minutes every morning and I've not done it a lot more than I've done it it sucks when I when I leave the trip and I go why didn't I take the time yeah and I keep going oh I'll remember you always tell yourself this lie it's like when you uh it's like when you uh have a dream yeah and you wake up with the instinct to jot it down and you go I'll remember I'll remember the next day you're like I'm not you have 30 seconds to start getting it down yeah exactly so I don't know why we don't what are you doing with that journal we're gonna open them up are they from Australia or did you buy them here because they're not as good if they're from here I gotta be honest I hate to be the the book is better than the movie okay yeah 12 12 2024 no I was there 2024 these are expired from two year three a year ago your mom's expired I don't hold that against her damn rest in peace pretty up um oh have you ever had a Tim Tam Slam are you familiar oh so good is it oh I'll bring you back this is gonna I might relapse oh this is the last podcast I'm doing in the studio oh my God yeah that's why I didn't say no that's why I was like we'll figure it out we'll talk about something because I was like this is like a chapter in Ari's life yeah I'm sad to leave it but I've ever done a Tim Tam Slam do you know what that is yeah okay never mind though tell them you bite both ends of the Tim Tam and then you put it in your coffee and you basically use it as a straw and it like melts the cookie in a way that's just like unbelievable what is this and you get caught with the chocolate flavor come in so good yeah uh-huh um I thought don't mess with the zoo Zoran Zoran Zoran because now I'm thinking of Zoran yeah don't mess with the Zohan in Australia that was you saw it there yep I went and saw that movie in a theater you know what's cool when you do something like that to see a movie somewhere you will always associate that place with that movie even though they have nothing to do with each other Sex in the City movie too I think you saw there were those around the same time I saw a Groundhog Day in Israel yeah but they didn't have Groundhog Day the actual day oh yeah so what do they call it I'll see you again tomorrow oh my God that's so funny yeah and tomorrow again it was something like that huh uh the other question is like where do you want to go what's calling you I feel like we kind of got to it but what would you settle on of like Japan seems high I also like I really I've always wanted to go to Greece oh yeah I love the Mediterranean I've been to Italy um I've been to Israel I've not been to Greece I feel like I would I'd like go there i also feel like uh that place is like if you don't watch out it's like tourist trap central okay where you're like spending all this money to wait in a line to eat a meal that you're like this is silly yeah i felt the same way we're like katrin yeah crazy but i found out that we have something that most people don't have a legitimate high level greek expert that will give us advice stavros that's absolutely true was my tour guide told me everything i needed to do does he hate doing that or is that easy for him yeah because he was like i can't believe i can share this about different island the less known what are you looking for oh well then don't do that do this that's so true yeah he was so helpful i had ian laura for dominican republic and i had stav for greece and it was like i couldn't have done it without either of them yeah that makes a lot of sense yeah but yeah i feel like a european something i've meant to to do you know maybe like germany a swiss or something you know i don't feel myself pulled to like moldova but i don't know what it's like there i'm sure you'll find out something i went to so when i do european tours i gotta like thursday friday saturday so i got a sandwich one day where i can't do anything and then sort of so sunday to thursday i'm open i can go i can stay in that town or i can go early the next town that's smart i like that but one city has to get sandwiched which means i'm there for i get there that morning leave the next morning and so it's kind of like brussels i've heard there's no point it's fine for a show but you don't want to be there right so so fine i sandwiched ljubljana slovenia this last time oh yeah yeah and i was like i've never known how to say that out loud until you just said it um capital of slovenia it's much prettier than el job el jana but that's how i say it in my head um but i was like oh this place rules i did not expect this at all and i gotta come back here for a week that's cool that is really cool yeah like i feel like croatia probably has stuff like that too where you're like damn this is there's an island in croatia that i went my doctor told me about it and i had to go after edinburgh i worked so hard a doctor regular like a regular doctor yeah but dicks and shit yeah um and i was so frazzled after edinburgh that i was like hey where's that place you told me some island that i won't mention that was just sunbathe yeah jump in the adriatic or whatever and then just air dry off and just like and then you get old all of a sudden really quickly you're on old beach yeah it was so nice and then i don't know what the mainland's like but like yeah everything's pretty awesome everything is pretty awesome and simultaneously everything kind of sucks isn't that interesting you could also do a tour or he could do a tour and you meet up on the last stop and then stay for eight days after look at that now you're doing career planning and and the travel i get the thing of like i'm wasting my time if i go straight vacation so you can couple it with work sure and that also helps get him out of the you guys every now and then you need to do stand-up or else you spiral in a way that's i learned during the pandemic where you would come in and just start running bits and doing voices and i was like hello i'm reading a book i could you have said hello i'm coming into the room could you have asked for my he'll just start that's the engine you guys have you have to train it because that's the thing that stops people that are like could have thought about doing stand-up the thing that stopped me was like oh i'd have to do it all the time consistently yeah and you guys have to train your motor to do that so i get it i'm forgiving of it we can acknowledge it exists you could probably do pretty well what if you tried it uh-uh it'd be so embarrassing for dan it would be embarrassing for everyone it would be are your chicks doing stand-up now i told you to do this in another city that is it never i won't i don't have the regularity i if it's up to me to go to work really funny she's actually doing really well like oh okay it'd be so fun the train pass the train has passed i've done it twice i'll never do i don't think i ever do but you same you could go cover the fucking wheel thing you know the cheese wheel chasing thing where they run down that fucking hill chasing a cheese where's that i don't know maybe england oh you know what i'm talking about yeah and they all fucking where is the cheese wheel wouldn't that be like that feels dutch right doesn't feel like an english thing i don't know where the cheese wheel is i like the way i did not think this was how you planned vacations i thought you did it was like i want to cross the street where everybody crosses the street i want to do the cheese wheel thing i want to sit and smoke cigarettes at a cafe maybe we'll go to scotland for the highland games or whatever those are that could be fun cooper's hill cheese rolling and wake someone dies oh yeah oh they fly in their glup glup i'm not even gonna gloucester well that's how you say the massachusetts version i don't know if that's what i call it there gloucester gloucester there's good beaches in gloucester yeah let's see this how far is this from do you think london i mean couldn't it's not possible for it to be so far it's not worth it it's uh gloucester uk up at the well that's different that's gloucester sheer that's not it no it was the first thing that you scrolled past gloss just get rid of the sheer gloucester uk see the second thing down yeah all right with the attitude it's right next to it funny enough but it might not have been you know it could have been maybe it's on the other side abby mead abby dale mattson just 37 hour walk or if you drive it okay you drive it in 226 that's nothing that's a train too i'm sure they have a train so yeah go cover that for your job sure funny sports yeah and then and then i don't know make an excuse for that legitimately excited for you smash cut to two years from now when you're like and you haven't gone anywhere you haven't visited me in this foreign prison once you're not that's very funny you can at least come visit do you ever have you ever been to a foreign prison it's just so funny i don't know i don't know i don't know it's too late to ask you this in the podcast yeah no i've never been arrested in a foreign land good that sounds scary to me yeah i've been ticketed and what do you do with that you have to pay it you're never back i got shaken down in thailand i should just pay the shakedown instead it was like six hours at city hall to get my license back for it's to save a hundred baht it's to save three dollars and you just didn't i was like i'm not getting shaken down no way this is a fucking bribe yeah we're like it is a bribe and the guy's like just pay really just give me the 500 right and i'm like oh i know what you're doing it's like a ticket master fee you're like i don't love this but i'll just pay it it's the way things go i hate that so much wait what do you mean 130 the tickets are 40 each now what do you mean 130 some states are doing laws where it's like they have to show you all of the money you're gonna be better not let them charge you 40 on top on a resale then you resell your ticket okay i have two tickets it's 100 bucks i gotta resell these okay you're only getting 80 and the other person's paying 120 what yeah i know or also like hey i'm doing pre-sale because i'm a huge fan of this artist but people that are huge fans of this artist all did pre-sale and then there's nobody left to buy the other tickets and so those tickets are cheaper and better and you're like wait but i'm the biggest but i love you most and they don't stop scalpers for that much money it's all broken all right i feel like everything's breaking i talked to a guy who owned a hockey team just randomly okay it was in a room nhl okay and i was like hey how do you feel about ticket master because it's really i really hate it both as a fan and as a someone who sells off ticket master he said we are actively looking for other options hard every day the problem is the number two is just so unprofessional that we just can't rely on them but trust me i know exactly what you're saying and it's non-stop looking for other options yeah so fuck you ticket master it's on site it's what i think we're saying katie thank you everybody once again go listen to our podcast uh benjamin bros hold on i got it casuals with katie nolan and and what just you that's it just me me and my co we had sagalow on today sagalow was our guest today but this is gonna be probably not coming out today so what does that have to do with my listeners try to do clues on when things were recorded oh and now we know references once kevin kevin ryan was like yeah i've just bought a car like just bought a wait you this is your second i remember when you said you bought a car in your other pot that was over a year ago crazy yeah well now i gave him a big i pulled yeah go back to that sagalow episode the day that this was recorded yeah um all right cool i feel this is thank you for doing this this is a fun one this was good i got a title at something but this was a fun as hell you'll come up with it yeah this actually helped me like think things out too oh good yeah for real hell yeah all right sick bye everybody bye studio all right well that's the episode um hope you guys enjoyed i hope you got some out of that now uh thank you katie nolan for coming in um um i am out trying to get a glimpse for two days of this i think it's just peeking out right now the uh piney's del torre i think it is hold on i'll give you a quick look the peaks it's been hiding in the clouds for literally two days and i think it's just coming out to play right now just for like a minute it's gonna dump back into the clouds and then there's more peaks over there but those i can't really see that's about as good a glimpse as i can get there's a 10-hour hike that i might do tomorrow but probably not it doesn't seem like my style 10 hours actually it does seem like my style doesn't it okay anyway uh thank you katie nolan for coming in and um now here is what i wanted to tell you i want to give you these tips okay anyway uh thank you katie nolan for coming in and um now here is what i wanted to tell you i want to give you these tips for yourself for how to do travel yourself for coming in and um now here is what i wanted to tell you i want to give you these tips for yourself for how to do travel yourself because i know i was talking to uh in a independent contractor as it were that's what i do that's what she does uh creative i don't know whatever you call it but somebody doesn't really work for anybody so i understand that our jobs are not are not going to be like like your jobs i gotta get a look at this i'm sorry god damn i mean can you see this whole fucking field hold on look at this the scenery out here is just wild with all that in the backdrop and then like oh my god i can't i can't even express anyway uh thank you katie nolan for coming in uh you can check out her on instagram at nolan katie if you have any ideas of where she should travel reach out to her let her know uh the casuals pod every tuesday and thursday you can check out her on instagram at nolan katie if you have any ideas of where she should travel and um what is it fan service live 12 p.m at a mad dog talk radio uh only on sirius xm 12 p.m every day every day that's a fucking tough schedule okay that is gonna make it tough for you to travel so now here i realized i was talking to some a creative and someone who has a time off to be able to go anywhere they want and i know that everybody has that so i'm not it's i want to do who have regular nine to fivers or maybe not as free as Katie is to be able to like do your own travel and uh here's how to do it just here's some tips first of all I put a link at the bottom of the screen Alan please put it up there for the passport agency to make a reservation to get your own passport um yeah get it get it before you go because that's going to get in the way that's one of the number one things that's going to get in the way is not having a passport um so follow the link at the bottom just make an appointment just find it if you can't make it there's no harm done but just get that process started because here's what's gonna help you go I'm gonna give you a bunch of tips right now um one how do I do this where I'm holding this and also this is the problem with DIY DIY DIY DIY DIY DIY how am I gonna get over this fucking bog okay well by the way I have to take a dump I'm out in the woods and if I find a good dump spot I'm gonna take a break a lot of poop out here um and I'll come back in a second you got okay tip one plan your heart well tip one is get your passport tip two plan your holidays wisely I was talking to I don't want to say her name because I she hasn't talked to her parents about this yet but guys thanksgiving what are we doing anymore if you lived your life right and I mean like fucking branch if you lived your life right and I mean the way you do it in the 50s or 60s when these traditions are started the 40s you'd have your own family by now if you're 26 you'd have a three-year-old child and you'd be giving him or her uh I guess just him if you're in China um their own thanksgiving tradition their own memories and you wouldn't be going home anymore you'd be doing your own thing so you don't have to still go home you're doing Christmas it's enough I get it if you have a family it's like oh I can't by the way guys all these tips I'm gonna give I'll tell you this in a second of how you can really take these in um thanksgiving is a fucking eight day holiday for you with three days of sick leave you got to use your sick days I'm sorry your vacation days wisely you take off Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday's already off so that means you get you leave Friday at work after work you know you go I'm leaving at 4 p.m 5 p.m Friday before Thanksgiving you go right to the airport you land in some place Saturday morning uh or late Friday night um yeah they're gone they're already gone damn they just disappeared uh then you have Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday for Thanksgiving and by the way if you like Thanksgiving do it wherever you're at Mexico City I've gone there I did that two years in a row I went to Merida one year um they don't do Thanksgiving but you can go get turkey somewhere go be with your friends have your friends come with you do a friends giving out in fucking Oaxaca or some shit oh jeez that's fucking wild anyway you get eight days for three that means Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday come home Sunday um that brings me to tip two come back on the red ice Sundays you won't be fit to work that day I'm telling you you just won't there's no way you're going to be fit to work that day but don't schedule meetings like what if I have a meeting don't schedule a meeting on Monday after a vacation's coming reschedule everything for later just go hey I'm not going to be available let's do Tuesday or Wednesday and just be fucking really a bad employee on that Monday and come home on the ready but you get in six seven a.m if you're delayed you let your boss know ahead of time to be do it responsibly you know and then you can go so that's eight days or nine days for only three days and then you can go so that's eight days or nine days for only three days and three days of a vacation by the way sick days take those take those for fucking uh mental health that's what sick days are the Americans ideas of like oh you can never take a sick day if you're not actually fucking bedridden no if you gotta go breathe some air go it's peaking out again uh go fucking be in nature with your dog so for your mental health so you don't go fucking nuts and shoot up the place that's a sick day that's a valid sick day that's number two your sick days use them wisely can you see this behind me by the way guys uh let me break it real quick all this advice is only going to be good if you want to take it if you're looking for a reason why um you shouldn't do any of this you're going to find it for sure but um I'm just I don't know trying to help you like uh there's always gonna be reasons why you can't travel and if you look for them you will find them always always so I get back to it but keep in mind for any of this advice like how can I make this work for me and then it'll help you okay back to the advice tip number three before accepting a new job offer let them know they give you the offer let them know you're planning on going on a big vacation now you haven't planned it yet but now is the time the worst they're gonna do is tell you no that's the worst they're gonna do is say no no no we need you to start right away but no harm in asking so let's say you you have a new I got a job and you're like okay you got to give you two weeks to your old job and they go great that's let's say it's February 1st now um they go we want you to start February 14th or 15th and you go actually I have this trip planned would you mind if I started March 9th and generally they're so happy the and before you've taken the you haven't taken the job offer yet and they're so happy to found the right candidate they go yeah yeah sure that's totally fine if they say no no we need you it's a big time for us then it's okay no big deal I'll push that off till later but if they say no no we need you it's a big time for us then it's okay no big deal but ask um and then generally they'll give it to you and then you could take your fucking a three four week holiday and go anywhere you want um tip four or five rent out your apartment you're traveling for free if you rent out your apartment if money's an issue you're traveling for free if you rent out your apartment also if you do any work while you're gone that's tax deductible that's it that's from that's from a jew tax deductible if you do any work but try not to do any work because you want to be out you want to be out you want to be able to like seize the day guys you can either be the guanaco or you can be the fucking puma and I'm telling you I know I have a reputation of like of getting out there and doing wild stuff you know and being the guy who travels I'm generally the guanaco I'm generally going to some city I don't really want to go to to do stand-up comedy something I love but that's only for one to two hours a day you know I'm generally going to some city I don't really want to go to you know maybe an hour 20 each show so two hours and 40 minutes I'm doing something I really love and that means 21 and a half hours 21 hours and 20 minutes I'm stuck in fucking Kansas City or you know some Kansas is actually pretty cool great jazz club there um but I'm generally the guanaco I'm generally the guy who's just fucking you know a fucking bone for a puma but sometimes today I'm the fucking puma and it feels great don't you want to be the puma I bet you do you don't want to be the guanaco or the fucking I guess that's is that a horse is that a fucking horse head behind me on a pike I'd say unsettling I'd say unsettling and guys you can find stuff like this too if you're willing to take those fucking eight days for three what else what's our next thing skyscanner uh skyscanner.com shows direct flights from anywhere so if you go to your local airport and go there's a whole fucking rib cage over there let's go um if you go to your uh local airport and put in sky scanner let's go to sky scanner put in your local airport uh you'll see anywhere there's a direct flight and i've done this that's why i got the dominican republic i had days off in what the fuck is this oh i mean what they fucking fuck bro whole ribcage is that his fucking is that his like torso there's bones everywhere i mean it was dragged here dude you see uh he's a oh oh is it literally just got scared fucking fuck full hoof oh you ever see the inside of a hoof god they leave nothing it's seen that and the buzzards they leave fucking nothing oh there's still fucking meat on that one wow oh i gotta talk to the mic god damn okay okay pretty unsettled um yeah sometimes i get really scared of pumas out here one day i was in my camper in the morning there was fucking a poop that wasn't there before and i'm like oh maybe it's just like a guanaco but it had fur in it so that's usually a sign god you know how scary it is to go fucking take a poop when you know a puma might be stalking you you ever get stalked bro i mean but who put this up i mean there's no way the puma put it up on a fucking pike right no way god look at that thing it took down a fucking horse that's somebody's fucking animal took down a fucking horse anyway all right back to the episode sorry um but isn't this fun don't you want to do these things don't you want to have experiences yet i didn't come here to look for fucking horse heads okay sky scanner shows direct flight so i did it to dominican republic i looked i had a 10 or 12 days off in between a show in boston and a show in i think san antonio so i go where could i get direct from boston logan airport uh and it gave me a bunch of cities and then it goes where can i get from those cities to san antonio or austin or dallas and it gave me nothing but on a layover uh i could get from to dominican republic straight from boston to um dominican republic dr and then on a layover i got to san antonio and i went straight there so i was able to no no dallas i know what it was dallas to boston yeah because i said goodbye to greg fitzsimmons uh he was in fort worth at the same time i was at the bad club um he was at the good one we hung out he dropped me off at the airport uh after we went to the dallas cowboy game i remember that um sky scanner is your friend another tip i don't know what number we're up to alan put these in sorry i'm giving you more work right before the holidays yeah um telling your friends that you're going tell them before you even go it it holds you to it if you tell your friends you're going you're stuck because then you have to explain why you didn't go so it does two things one it commits you and two um ideas will come of what to do when you're out there god damn this fucking rain is not the best but check this shit out this river when it's i got my camper way over there i don't know if you can see it i'm in the middle of nowhere wild camping i've never done it before it's wild shit presents itself once you're out there i've been going on wrecks so wrecks i'll help you so tell your friends you're going and they'll be like oh my friend went there he said he went to this great restaurant oh okay what was it my friend went there he said he did wild camping where you could just find campsites and just hole up what i want to do that and then you do um another tip don't look at too many pics just decide what you want to do if you look at the pics nothing's going to live up to it because the pics aren't listen the pic of that mountain of torres del paine are beautiful they don't show the cloudy pictures and if i had seen them and i have you look at it you're like oh that's not as good uh but i didn't look at too many so when i see it like i finally saw i mean there are two days i spent trying to fucking get a sight of this thing oh fuck i mean this isn't great this is not great at all maybe i'll go take a poop now don't look at too many pics it'll ruin it for you um you can still have an amazing i found a hot spring uh and it was cloudy but i didn't know anything about it i thought it was just a regular little hot spring um but it wasn't there was this amazing thing on a fjord and you're looking out and it's tremendously hot if i looked at pics on a beautiful day i'd be disappointed but i didn't look at it i didn't know what to expect and so it just blew me away uh on the highway there's a highway on the highway there's a highway on the highway there's a highway down down here and uh how to go look at this look where my camper is so like nothing is around me bro absolutely nothing and then boom camper right on the fucking water you can't see it now but back there is a snowcat mountain there's a snowcat mountain there's a snowcat mountain and then behind me which we can never get a view of um i mean i guess we got a little view earlier um tories don't piney uh don't look at too many pics follow rex recommendations what number are we up to alan uh follow recommendations over any ai or blogs you know what you like and your friends know what you like and if somebody tells you like oh my god you got to go to this beautiful nice restaurant like tim dillon would um in this place you go yeah i'm not interested in that i don't want to do that i want to get street food so you don't get people who aren't doing your thing telling you what to do like you would on google maps the people weighing in on google maps are just some of people who share your ideas and some who don't but if somebody says oh my god i had this most amazing meal where it was just this family and they cook for you and it's a fucking communal and they bring people from all over the world and everyone has to talk and that might be your thing but if it is your thing you go wait tell me more i'm interested in that and they tell you more recommendations over ai ai is going to ruin life not for that stuff but only because it's giving you a version of it that's for everybody and you're not everybody you have your specific deals um here's another tip if you got a partner a wife or a husband be willing to travel without them i know it might be hard but you can play golf without them right so why not be able to travel without them when i'm able to say i mean i remember leanne kreischer going to vietnam with her friends she wasn't going to wait anymore for fucking fatso to be able to take time off and she went with her friends i know other people that have been able to i mean look at this dude tell me that location isn't just the best location in the fucking world i've been here for two days doing fuck all um i've known other people doing it too uh i've had girlfriends i've said hey i'm leaving for three weeks and they go what do you mean i'm like i'm leaving they're like well i want to go like yeah well you have work don't you like yeah i'm like all right well goodbye and sometimes they're willing to come and sometimes they're not but don't wait for them do something with your friends do something alone have whatever reason you want to go out and go alone have a reason have one thing to do in a town i know these two chicks from austin who used to go uh do tourism and they sent her on a comedy show they showed up on a show of mine in reykjavik alaska and now they were going to do alaska i mean sorry reykjavik iceland they were going to do iceland and they wanted to for weeks but they're comedy tourists and they were like well ari's flying there that's an excuse let's go and so they went to reykjavik they went to my show and then they did the fucking ring road around iceland caitlin palufo comedian wanted to see the yeah yeah she goes i'm gonna go see him in mexico city she's gotta have a relationship and uh she goes i'm going she went alone she was scared but she had a blast she saw the yeah yeah yes dan soda on this podcast he wanted to go see the fucking that metal band what are they called i can never remember that name but dave gold played with him for a little bit queens of the stone age hey what's a fucking sweden fucking goose what up with a stop in reykjavik you use that queens of the stone age show as a fucking excuse where you gonna go goose we go swan uh as an excuse to go do whatever you wanted to do to find an excuse that's another tip find an excuse and make that uh build a whole trip around that or just go and come back but build a trip around it uh but be willing to travel with your partner find an excuse to go um last one is uh guys hostels are actually really fun i know i know i know they're a little disgusting but i want you to know no one calls them youth hostels anymore that's that's not a thing no one calls them youth hostels they're just hostels and they're really fun and if you get one that has a free breakfast go to hostelworld.com use that app it's tough because the social um feature on there is not really exactly what you mean but you want a free breakfast in the morning because what the free breakfast does not always but a lot is it brings people together together um to have a meal and you sit there and you eat the buffet um but read the reviews if they go not really a social hustle avoid that one but they all come together for this free breakfast to get that free meal to make ends meet especially people that have traveled a long time and you get tips from them you get those recommendations that i'm talking about you get tips from those people and they tell you like what's to do in the city oh there's fucking cholitas wrestling in la paz what yeah these fucking cholitas wearing the traditional garb get no fucking ring and wrestle and yeah it was all for fucking gringos for sure but it was so fun i would have known about that without that or there's some hike or there's some restaurant oh i talked to some guy who gave me a restaurant in sucre bolivia he goes it's like a michelin star restaurant it's 200 bolivianos which is like 40 wine pairing too i'm like what and man it was amazing nativa shout out nativa gone again i mean you can sort of see the other mountain let me zoom in but not really but i mean guys you can find there's my my camper don't you want to find places like this for yourself okay so those are my tips uh i should tell you that i should have told you this before guys these tips are going to be easy to say well i can't do it for this reason or that reason um you gotta want to go if you don't want to go places and i think you do that's why you're watching this podcast or listening to this podcast in general because you have a desire to go see places i don't care but i think you do um you gotta want answers instead of problems you gotta want solutions instead of obstacles so i'm giving you all these things all these tips there's always going to be a reason why it won't work but you shouldn't be looking for the reasons why it won't work look for the reasons why it did why it will work i had a long talk with louis ck a long time ago right he just unlucky louie hadn't done his fx show yet done his third special in a row and i asked him how crazy it was i told him this fucking thing and he was like i don't know i don't know nuts he's doing a special a year at that high level and he explained to me how to do it it was this long talk i've talked about on skeptic tank oh well those are all gone now um and i in my head i was like yeah sure you can throw your material away and just do all this you have hbo willing to give you a special whenever you want what have i got i can only do an album i can't do any of this i don't have people calling for me i don't have i don't have money like this to fucking put into stuff i don't have a fan base like you do and i didn't take any of his advice for about two years and then maybe three years and then it hit me that i'm looking for a reason why one of the greatest comedians of all time why his advice would not work for me instead of looking for reasons why one of the greatest comedians of all time why his advice would work for me what a fool i was a fucking chump and then i started following his advice and fucking i started making a living right after that i started making a living on my own i was like fuck it let me just try put out an album we went to number one on itunes you know which is almost nothing by the way back then it was like a flex but really it meant like 5 000 records sold jim gaffigan stays on itunes is like top god damn this water's so fucking blue uh all the time he actually sells albums fluffy sells albums but anyway once in a while i'm like number one then i was like let me put out a special did then another one and then i started making a living people started coming to my shows i started committing myself to doing new material and i took his advice and i'm telling you this advice is gonna help you if you're willing to take it and try to make it work if you try not to make it work you can make that happen too okay well that's it everybody i think that's uh that's the episode again follow k nolan a fucking horse uh damn by the way it's field notes durable this has been in the rain any other notebook would have fallen apart right now rolf potts thank you very much for uh the recommendation field notes um i think i see a place to poop and i could kind of do it here it's wide open you do it right there okay nolan uh at nolan katie tell her where she should go um tell you like her if she's one of the best most knowledgeable sports people around although she did say aaron judge would not resign with the yankees and you were wrong she's amazing she's a friend of mine and uh you guys love her she's also one of the worst beer pong players i've ever encountered in my life um yeah this guy's sad because his fucking buddy is has a head up on a pike somewhere um hey buddy is there a place to poop around here that you know of just wondering if you know any places to poop no no stay there you don't have to show me i just okay all right my bad my bad um check out how close water is uh thank you nolan katie check out her podcast the casuals every tuesday and thursday how blue that fucking water is um and her fan what is it fan service live 12 p.m on mad dog radio sirius xm before sirius fsm goes away don't neglect to tuning in and now guys it's been 100 episodes so i got some thanks i got some thanks to the people who made this possible um i honestly didn't know how far i'd get in this i started doing the podcast before it even launched um on iphones like this one in my spare bedroom where my old skip the tanks used to be and a weird backdrop um that i hung up behind me and uh 100 episodes is a fucking deal so i just want to thank some people so here's all the people that helped me get there pepper goines for writing the theme song the ubi trippin theme song thank you very much gerard jabron for the uh cartoon at the beginning of every episode made that he's a comic in vancouver check him out also check out pepper's stuff he's fucking nuts and weird and you should use them for your theme songs um toby mcmullen and d's nuts for building my studio in uh new york uh man me and toby had such a fucking blast every day trying to think up the vibe of that of that thing that was one of the best months months and a half of my life legitimately just being creative with like building things look at this bird how fucking weird this bird is so that's a mom and a mom and dad and i saw the uh and with their kids earlier their kids are probably all dead now by puma attack um uh thor my landlord um for letting me do a podcast there when she said no business and i go hey it's gonna be business but it's not gonna be much i'm barely gonna be there and uh and when i am it's gonna be yeah a little bit of noise i'm gonna be screaming sometimes with people but it's like on average two three hours a week and she goes yeah okay do it so thank you thor trinidad's finest also thank you uh for pete upstairs who died during the flood that delayed the podcast for quite some time after me and toby built up this whole studio and d's there was a flood um and it totally flooded the place it was unusable mold everywhere but uh podcast studio part was saved somehow um and pete wouldn't open his door to let them uh air the place out just refused to open he had a long-standing war with thora wouldn't open the door finally uh she was like well i gotta there's gonna be mold everywhere and he was floating in a puddle he was dead he's dead for quite some time and floating anyway it took forever to re-rent the place and i was able to smoke cigars and uh oh maybe do a fire right here i was able to smoke cigars with people like rob lowe and bobby kelly and i'll source this up before we had neighbors upstairs and eventually they're like hey i got a kid dude and this cigar smoke is terrible i'm like yeah fair fair enough um but thank you pete for giving me at least a year of no neighbor where i could do whatever i want liam gwynn for uh making the background the logo uh that map that first map in my old apartment the one that hung up that i still have so i'll probably use it somewhere when i get back um and the logo he made the ub trip and stamp he's a great great designer and he loves podcasts if you got a podcast or if you want something made he's got he's really interesting he's like thought something so um i mean the art of it so he likes doing wild check him out on abracadabra on uh instagram salvo cano for coming up with the name you be tripping i was tossing over a bunch of names none of them would be as fun salvo cano came up with you be tripping i loved it and uh thank you very much um tyler penn my graphic designer uh whatever we put put up videos on the screen he's he shows the screens he also helped me build the map like the rounded map in uh in my studio once you replace the full backdrop map um sound engineer extraordinaire any um bodies guests any bodies guests uh thank you very much for helping me with even this even the sound system here like you really fucking did it for me um could not have done that without you every time something broke uh you were right there with advice easy to work with thank you um the people who designed my backdrop marcus laporte and thomas schneider the one in my awesome studio it's a fucking sick one um thank you guys my editing team alan caffey editor extraordinaire god he's so fucking good all this stuff he uses his fucking mind puts in jokes every time i fail or some user error happens um god you damn it he's right there to make fun of me and keep it fresh and interesting um through editing thank you alan caffey chris larson heading up the editorial department of ymh ymh is well let me oh yeah i'll just say it now just the easiest company to work with in the world they are so professional and such pieces of shit at the same time that it's like i don't know why any comic would want to go to any other network at all it's so fun being over there and it's a family and i just fucking love it i'm just glad to be a part of it to be honest uh chad wallen for doing the first maybe 60 episodes of this before moving on uh to other things and doing that ghana episode niana palette taking his place beautifully um josh zolo thank you very much for fucking you know helping me run all this shit i appreciate it uh heather mills and caitlin sad at the uh oh fuck i'm out of breath it's not even high up at the god damn heather mills and caitlin sad in the fucking social media department making clips making funny fights and stuff taking a break from their from their main job uh munching boxes all day to help me you know promote this show i really appreciate it if you don't know them two champion level box munchers devout lesbians who love getting their fucking chins just fucking soaked you just see them when i come into the office just pruney their chin it looks like jay leno just like prune i'm like what the did you get chin implants and like no i've been munching box for fucking hours and their skin gets pruney and i mean nothing can get them from but they stop to help promote this this podcast and i really appreciate that it's not uh it's not when you get that that high level of box munchers um also the fucking ymh ad team for i mean guys i'm making money being here and that's because of them alan the wrench abdine um ally bryce zach and gabby thank you guys very much legitimately if you're watching this alt me being here um um maybe you've done that without you guys look at that it's okay it's a cloudy day this is like a shitty day here god damn yep um and thank you guys who else we got that i remember right lean in tyler marcus oh ryan hall thank you very much buddy for um making this deal happen it took a long fucking time you helped convinced um everybody over there that i was worth uh working with and i appreciate it like immensely and uh it's been a fucking great working with you on this and uh and even more on the other thing that's going to come out that we'll announce in a couple months but um wait there you go there's the light thank you and the boss el jefe tom segura for deciding finally to put a just a wild idea to put a comedian on the ymh network um it was nuts a lot of people wouldn't have done that a lot of people would have just kept putting non-comedians on but you had the fucking foresight and wherewithal to take a chance and to work with someone who literally no one else would work with um i burned every bridge i've ever come across uh to get on the water on my own so tom the jefe uh thanks man i seriously you've saved me like uh a bunch of times um this being able to like just do this without i was so diy on my other podcast it took me like a year to do this and i'm like i'm gonna do it again and i'm gonna do it again and i'm gonna do it again and i'm gonna do it again and i'm gonna do it again so much time and and you built this fucking network where i was envious of you because i'm like you could just go in and say press record and then they start and then you just leave and everything else gets taken care of on a really high level with people who really want to work there and then you're like come be a part of it and so man it's been great this thing you set up having a little bit of responsibility it's really helped me um so thanks tom i mean honestly this is the thing that's coming soon and convincing me to convincing me to do my juice special i was done with it you telling me like come on man what are you doing that was like really good you should do something with that and i was like it's done and you were like kind of let me see what a fucking idiot i was so thank you for that that's it that's everybody that's everybody who's helped with this project um you be tripping i'm having a fucking blast and also the guests also the guests 100 episodes probably what 95 guests who's repeated um sam talent column turrell um who else is repeated sam talent column to ryan o'neill wait has that oh yeah um ari maddy maybe rolf potts has julio's second episode been on julio gallerati oh mark norman joe list yeah so let's say 93 95 something like that guests and all the places we've been thank you to the world for fucking taking people in that was gay um that's it guys that's it 100 episodes up and 100 episodes down i'm ari shafir next week danny polishik um will be taking us to laos first time going to laos first new country i mean they're so much poop here what who's gonna care if i take a shit here and who's gonna find me i mean i should just do it right here i'll never be able to get a more beautiful place to poop than right here yeah right who's gonna come up on me yeah okay guys also thank you very much for wet wipes i'm sorry wet ones for giving just them be gentle and sensitive wet wipes well you gotta shit in the woods look no further than wet ones to really the gentle ones to really caress your ass and really get it clean in a way that only a bidet could but you'll never get out in nature i'm ari shafir everybody um get out there go get your passport right now follow the link right now at the bottom of the screen okay bye is that everybody it's everybody god okay also can i just say i'm having a fucking blast this has been the trip of my life and doing the occasional fucking wang in with you guys it's been totally fine and kind of fun and uh just to be able to like report on how much of a good time i'm having to somebody it's been pretty fucking cool even if it's people i don't know but i kind of do know you all right bye get out there make your own trips guys uh i forgot to thank some of the sponsors who have made this 100 episodes special obviously they're all like appreciate the money but there's a few that really stand out and also by the way should i just say the patreon members the ones that are still subscribing even though i've legitimately put up nothing um i haven't even sent the person around the world i gotta do that i mean i'm new year's resolution i'm doing that by may hopefully before but let's get say if i haven't done it by may i'm doing it by june i'm doing it by june i'm doing it by june i really am bad um yeah i just gotta get on that heather and caitlin send me the send me the 10 finalists and i'm just gonna reach out to them right now but the sponsors that i like more than anybody um like i said the money is great for all of them but um can i say shopify has always let me do whatever ads i wanted to in whatever order i wanted to and say the most fucked up shit just to to push their brand and i appreciate that you know there's some that just make me do dumb copies straight away and it's like i'll do it but it's like what a waste fahim anwar said this once he was in a writer's chuck lorry they just talk about plot he was sitting there not contributing he goes god i felt like a ferrari idling it's a high level stand-up comic you're just sitting there having meetings about plots or shopify thanks for letting me do whatever i want and also sheath underwear though i don't know they don't sponsor much but they're the number one underwear in comedy and they're the only ones i've brought out with me here on this trip see that that's a sheath brand they're great they hug my balls i love them if i do any other fucking whatever i'm wearing sheath um so those are the two ones guys yeah support them because they're great also gutter glasses came with me on this trip and perfect jeans as well but like those two shopify and sheath are like my favorite and the patreon um okay that's it that's the end of the episode well one more let me show you where i pooped you come on it's over this way it's over this way i did it right there be the puma