Travel nightmares, monogamy debate, & hacks for toddler travel

- What's the difference between polygamy and polyamorous? - I don't think much. - Is it marriage? - I couldn't think of anything more patriarchal than letting your husband or your boyfriend go out and sleep with other women. The guy next to me took his shoes and socks off and it smelled like farts and eggs. - Do you guys take your shoes off on the airplane? - No. - I take my shoes off. - Oh my goodness. - A lot of people order alcohol from the little cart on the plane. I'm like, you want that little-- - I don't know. I feel like people that have anxiety do a lot. - Oh, I should do that. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Welcome back to Always Here. Were your host Abby Howard? - And Abby Howard. - Yeah. - Honestly, it feels like I feel good to be back in the chair. - Yeah. - The last, last time we filmed we were on the couches, which you won't see these in order, but it feels like it feels good to be back. - That dynamic threw me off. - I know, those are first time having kids. - It was really fun. But this feels comfortable. - More natural, yes. I know, even like, just when do you speak? When do you jump in? I'm listening back to the moms episode now and they sound so sweet and good, which I've realized during both of those, I'm very protective over what my mom said and what Caleb said. I'm like, I'm going to protect them. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Which I know you guys will be gracious. But I wish listening back that I chimed in and hyped my mom up more, you know, just kind of chimed in more. I think we were, I was just listening. Yeah, you know, there are always things that you leave, be like, I wish I said this, I wish I said that. But I hate that. I know, that's why. - But it was the first time. - It's hard to listen to things back. Like, I know. - I'm miserable to listen to it. - Totally, but also it's been good. It's my own constructive feedback. I'm like, okay, I'm new to this. So let's listen to it and learn and improve, hopefully. But yeah, it's so fun. - Did we say that we're here to share the hope and the hard was heart and humor? Hey, we're here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor. - And that's what we're gonna do right now. - Oh, yes. - What's been going on? What's your hope? My hope, I actually just did this recent Instagram series falling back in love with my closet. And you look good. Thanks. Thanks. It's been fun. It's been a fun series. I just, I'm sure a lot of women can relate to that feeling of like, your body just goes through so many changes within the last year and a half of pregnancy postpartum. Or even if it's not that, even if I had messages from girls being like, this has helped me in recovering from an eating disorder. - Oh wow. - Like really amazing messages. And there are so many times in your womanhood where your body's gonna change and you're adjusting. And it's this fear of rejection of my own clothes where it's like, oh, what I'm just going through the day, I feel good or I feel like I look in the mirror and I see myself a certain way. But then I go to my closet and I try on my clothes. And then I'm just kind of put back down where I'm like, oh, I actually don't fit into these things. Like I thought or they don't look, they don't look on me how I picture that they would or that they did. And then it's this cycle of constantly having to get back to like, oh, I actually am content or like, you know, get your baseline of your self-esteem and your clothes. My lace was always moving. So yeah, so I have months postpartum like it's time for me. I just kind of stopped trying on stuff. I was like, I'm just gonna wear what I know fits right now. But now I'm kind of at this point where okay, things are starting to like fit back. So I've just been scared to try things on and get rejected again. So this series was kind of like a rip in the band-aid off. And try and have fun with my closet again. And not just throwing everything out and donating it all and just turning fresh. But like, let's see what it's worth. And let's have fun again. - I definitely threw everything out. - Yeah, I remember when you threw all your maternity stuff away. - Do that, I got rid of, I didn't throw it away. I donated it to a women's shelter area. But then I also like all the, everything I worn Hawaii gone. Matt like pulls things up, he's like, where did this go? I was like, I can't look at that. That freaking yellow bikini, the amount, Matt, yeah. He's like, why'd you ever get rid of this? I was like, because I can't get my right cheek in that. - Right, right, right. - I'm like, because I don't want to see what I'm going to look like in that. It's truly, there's like a fear. And I even remember like when I had gotten, like I don't weigh myself too often. Whenever I had gotten to back to what I would like perceive is like, oh, okay, this is where I wanted to be. I still remember trying on my clothes and me like, things just don't look the same. My whole body was proportionally differently. And it still is. I mean, obviously now I'm pregnant again. But I just remember being like, okay. This is just not going to look the same way. So then I was like, I just think these clothes are done totally. But I do think that I had some things I'm so glad I hung on to because the dust is still settling for years on out. - No, totally. That's why I feel like I was like, I want to be kind of slow about donating things in the post-partum season because even right now, like, okay, I'm not wearing a ton of color or really fun things or short dresses or, you know, some of this like fun, flirty, colorful stuff that I had before. And it just feels wrong in this season where I'm like nursing and, you know, have a baby. It just doesn't feel like my personality right now. But I know those things will come back. And it's like, I don't always have to be this like serious only brown t-shirts girl. Like the color will come back. And so I don't want to just get rid of all that stuff. So I'm trying to challenge myself to at least try it on. - I try on swimsuits last night. - Mm-hmm, it's the season. - Summer time. - I was like, I genuinely don't need anyone to tell me I look good at my, I don't need that. It's not gonna convince me. Like, and I'm not like insecure about it. Well, maybe I am a little bit. - You do look good. - I'm like, I'm gonna let the bump out. - Well, it's just, I feel like your belly looks a little different after their first pregnancy. Like the subsequent ones, she's already a little misshapen. And things like, it's just like, there's a lot. And so I was like trying on new swimsuits. And I was like, wow, we're gonna air this out at the pool. I was like, this is crazy. But yeah, no, it's fine. - I never thought anything of it. And it's things that you only notice about yourself. You know, not like I got a picture for you. Oh, okay. You know, just to know, I don't think I'm being dramatic here. With Vivian, my belly button became like a little witch's hat. Like it got really pointy. And I got really insecure about it. Because I was like, I can't even look cute with the, you can't even see the bottoms. Most of the time. What am I looking at? - Exactly. - No, I don't like that. You look so cute in that. - No, I do not. - No one did not get purchased. - Really, I like the brown polka dots. - Oh my gosh, my boobs look like animal planet. - I didn't even look at your boobs. - Good. (laughs) - I was like, I didn't more support though. - No, it was, it was, it's one of those things where it's like I truly do feel freedom from like that. Like, I'm like, okay, that's so not what's important right now. But then sometimes I'm like, wow. - We can still be real lucky. - We have problems. - Right, right, I'm like, things are different. Now I would never go back. And I'd do it over and over again. - Totally. - Things are different. - Totally, we can, we can talk about it. It's fine. But my hope is that I feel like I'm moving into a better place. - It's your stylish. - Yeah. - I like those shorts. - Things, they're actually my mom got them from me when I was pregnant. And I never wore them when I was pregnant. I actually like them better on me now. - Mm, yeah. - There's other things. - I feel like my belly is lower than it's ever been in other pregnancies and when I wear things below the bump. - It feels better. - It, no it feels like I'm exposing myself. - Oh, yeah, you're like, that is my- - But it does feel way better. - Mm-hmm. - I don't know, we're in a tough situation. - Dresses, it is. Dresses, but then my thighs started shaving. - Yeah, you're right, what do I do? - I couldn't see, I was like, no, is there a rash on there? He's like, a little bit. - Oh. - I was like, saying it. - Anyway, I hope, or do you want to walk? - My hope is I'm really excited to go to Hawaii. - Yeah. - Kind of the inspiration for today's episode. - It is. - I'm really excited. I feel like, I feel like we travel a lot, but this one feels like, hopefully it'll be more, just like, restful and family focused. Like, then, other, a lot of things are like, double dipping with, like, work things. Which, we will still work while we're there, but, like, it'll just feel, hopefully, just like, a really good time, because it's our last trip as a family of four. Like, this is the last time we're going just us. And so, it'll be really special, and I'm really excited. And, you know what, I don't even actually feel that sentimental about, like, I love our family unit of four, but I think we've just been so ready to add someone else to the family that I'm, like, not sentimental about it, but I am, like, excited to just, like, celebrate a last raw, like, me and two boys. Well, actually, three boys. Right. And then, I'll be four boys. Right. What do you mean? Oh, 'cause Matt. Oh, I thought you were just, like, manifesting another boy. I know, like, what is she talking about? I do have strong feelings. I'm having another boy after this. Yeah. Just gonna put that over there. Okay, put it on the internet. We'll clock in, 'cause you have strong feelings about that. But, 'cause, like, I don't know why, like, when I see moms with, like, all boys, I'm like, hmm, and this is a glimpse into my future. And my mom had three girls and then a boy. I know, it happens. It doesn't happen. It does happen. It does happen. I don't know why I have that feeling, but. Well, no problem. My heart does have a stomachache. Your stomach hurts? Why? I don't know. I think it's going to be two things. I think digestive issues related to. Constipration. No, the other way. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Okay. And just, like, just upsets stomach to the point where I'm like, what's going on, but then I'm also like, it could be stress-induced. Right. That could be a problem. Are you feeling anxious? I am, but I don't want to talk about it, because I feel like I always talk about that and my life is so good and I'm so grateful, but I'm just like, just, like, worth work and just overwhelmed with everything, or just specific things. No, yeah, just everything. Everything. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I'm like, ha! Like, it's the day before you're leaving for a trip. That's the most stressful day of the year. Yeah, there's just a lot to be done. So much to do. It'll get all get done, but I don't know why the day before I leave for vacation. I am doing everything that I've been putting off for months. I'm like, I'm going to the post office. I'm returning everything that used to be from my return. Things that aren't actually pressing, but for some reason I'm gone for three days, I need to do it. It's like the day you check everything off your list and it's the most stressful day and you're up to like one a.m. Oh, no reason. At least I am. I wish. I have so many things. I feel like I'm actually just doing the things I need to, like, actually need to do. Okay, so that's actually efficiency. But there's a lot of other things that just will never get done because of that. Like, I need to get my kids' immunization records from their pediatrician and I'm like, when will that ever happen? Why do you do that? For where they're like, oh, for school. For school. For school. For school. And they will not email it to me. I know a lot of pediatricians will or they could do it on their portal, but they will not. So that's my, that's actually my own personal information. That actually seems like old school. And it's kind of far. And the lady, yeah, anyway, anyway, that's hard. Who's going to make it there? That'll happen. Hey, my heart is that I'm going to talk by bird twice. Wait, two separate occasions. Yeah. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the next day went back. But here's the, let me tell you my mistake. Here's what I did. Okay. I was on a walk in my neighborhood. That is hard. I know. Full me once. Shame on me. Full, wait, shame on you. Feel me twice. Shame on me. Yeah. So the first time I was at a walk and I'm walking my dog and I noticed this bird kind of out of my peripheral vision. And I'm like, oh, that bird was kind of low. And then I hear this, I feel this like hit on my back. And I'm like, oh, was that my ponytail? And I'm like, no, my hair's not that long. And then I go, oh, maybe that bird's like learning to fly. I don't know why that was my thought. I turn around. This bird is dive bombing me coming back at me again. And I go, and I sprinted across the street with my dog. That's so scary. It was. And it kind of followed me across the street. Like I was like, it's not leave me alone. So Lewis and I kind of ran a little bit and it left me alone after that. I was like, whoa, that's crazy. There must be a nest or something. So the next day, this is so stupid. The next day, I'm going to walk again. And in my head, I'm like, okay, wherever that tree was, I'm going to cross the street earlier to avoid the bird. I'm not going to go past that tree. So I am going to kind of walking and I noticed the bird that looks like the bird that tagged me the day before on the fence right next to me. And it's kind of following me along the fence line. But I'm way early. I'm like way ahead of the tree. Like I'm not in your territory. So then I start crossing the street. The bird comes at me again. It is dive bombing me. And I'm like flinging my arms and Lewis. I'm like, ah! And this time, they were witnesses. I want to go away. This guy in a truck tried to pass me and he goes, he rolls his window down and goes, haha! I laughed at my face and goes, it almost gotcha. And I was like, truly, man. And then the guy on his driveway said, yeah, that nest is like in my yard. And I'm on the bird. I said, yeah, but the bird's not attacking you. And he says, yeah, okay, so just me. The dog maybe. Maybe it is the dog. The dog. Yeah, so you know what? You thought I would learn the first time. That's freaky. Yeah, it's a aggressive mom. It's a mom. She's like getting a bird. She said, don't come near my children. You've got to find a whole new route. I do. Those babies hatch. I know. I went to the hatch long to take like two weeks. I don't know. There's a dead bird out of the tree today. Oh, yeah. They fall out. Yeah, it's sad. It was sad. When I'm soapy and I, my sister saw a bird that it fell out and we took it to the vet, like ran it to the vet. And I don't know if it made it or not. But that was pretty stupid. That's the way. Like we ran into an emergency bat where like this bird was just on the ground. Sweet. Couldn't fly. Yeah, sad. Sad. Circle of life, you know. Hopefully they did something. Yeah. My sweet fourth grade teacher took a dwarf hamster to the vet to like give it life-saving measures. Life-saving. I hope they saved that hamster. I think they did. What happened to it? The cage. She had so many caustern pets. I feel like this is back in the day when you could have caustern pets. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't let you do that anymore because of allergies. No, probably not. They were, the crates were stacked. And we, my friends would clean out their crates at recess sometimes. Cute. And one of my good friends accidentally, like when she was reaching out, every fourth grade, we were really short. Like when you reach for these cages. Well, and that little hamster was like stunned for a while, but he was still alive. Not smushed, but like maybe paralyzed. Yeah. My friend closed the hamster in her door. Yeah, there's, there's so many hamster stories. My rodents never have a good end. No, they don't. It's for my hamster Maggie. We brought a hamster. She lived six years. Whoa. What is with the longevity of your pets? Apparently I take really good care of my older sister brought home a caustern pet hamster. It got out in our home. No, it always happens. And we have cats. So, I know. We were nervous. Good thing. My dad works for a company that makes fiber optic things. He just had some night vision goggles at work. What? So we brought them in there like heat rated. So we found a hamster. Everybody let's just wait until it gets dark. Wait, what is that? I'm finding it funny. I show the kids when he's leaning above the grass. He's like got the glasses. He's like going through every blade and grass. I love that movie. That just unlocked a memory. I forgot about that movie. The movie was seen by the other day. I was like, that's hilarious. I need to watch and now I can't think of it. Okay. Okay. No, I don't know. I don't know either, but let it let it just come on back. I was also just thinking our new like wow, that's crazy. Like that saying that we all are saying is Shirley. Shirley. Like, did I start? You know what I'm saying? Caitlin started it. Really? I think Caitlin says it all the time. I think we got it from Caitlin. I could see that. She's got some fun like verbiage and you know, things that we definitely pick up on. Matt has made fun of me for years for saying that though. Really? He's like, is it S-H-I-R-L-E-Y, or S-U-R? Because I think Shirley. I'm not sure. It's Shirley with a bunch of use. That's the bit less than us. Shirley. The movie I really want to watch is remember the classic and it's not the classic because it's the new one, but in my mind it's the classic. The hairspray with Zach Efron and John Trauma. That's such a good movie. That is a good movie. It came up on my Spotify song from that because I haven't played Annie because Griffin's been obsessed with Annie ever. He always sings tomorrow now. Because since I took him, he's like tomorrow. And then all you things that do is Griffin taught him. Anyway, that came on next and I was like, "That movie was so good. I need to watch that again." I loved the song Amanda Bynes did. The dog of the chocolate. The sweet food. Yes. I forgot that was her. Yeah. That's probably the last thing she. Yeah, that or E.D.A. I think it was one of the last movies. Oh, okay. I saw that movie in theaters. Anyway, let's bring that movie back. Yes, that's a good idea. Thank you to Magic Spoon for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Magic Spoon just figured out how to turn treats into something you can actually feel good about eating. If you love sweet snacks like I do, but you hate the sugar crash, this is about to be your new obsession. Magic Spoon Treats are crispy, airy, protein packed, snack bars. They have 12 grams of protein, 7 grams of fibers, your grams of added sugar, 2 to 3 grams net carbs, and are certified gluten-free. Those macros are crazy. Okay, these bars are so good. They genuinely feel like a treat, not a sad health bar. My personal favorite flavor is the marshmallow, but they also have chocolate, peanut butter, double chocolate, and more. Very nostalgic feeling snacks. They're very dessert-coded, but they also don't load you up on sugar, so it's a protein bar that you can feel good about. If you already know Magic Spoon for their cereal, it's so iconic. Their fruity cereal is my favorite. I actually had it for breakfast today. Their high protein zero sugar cereal brings all the childhood nostalgia with none of the sugar bomb. Magic Spoon is really easy to find. Just look for Magic Spoon at your local grocery store. They just rolled out treats nationwide at 7/11 also, and if you haven't tried them yet, check out Magic Spoon's new protein pastries, a high protein low sugar take on the classic toaster pastries you grew up with. Wait, I really want that. You can get $5 off your next order, including the protein pastries, at MagicSpoon.com/Abbey. That's MagicSpoon.com/Abbey for $5 off. I'm not going to say anything of heat, but I just think it's an interesting topic, polyamory. I've listened to two interviews recently where, with different people, where it's massive interviews, where it's been brought up of like open relationships, open marriages, and the comment section was a little surprising to me, both times, and just the sentiment around open marriage, open dating relationships. I was like, this is like a really interesting topic of conversation. I know within recent reality TV, it's going to be a big topic, coming up here, like thruples, and all these things. I just feel like I had a lot of things come to mind, this is an interesting topic. Let me stop dancing around it. No, seriously, first of all, actually someone literally asked me yesterday, they're like, what's the difference between polygamy and polyamory? I don't think much, to be honest. Is it marriage? Well, polygamy is one man many wives. Yeah. I kind of googled this before we were talking about it. Polyamory is just an open relationship, so like the man and woman can have extra affairs. Okay. - Okay. - And that's kind of open on both sides. - That's really cool. - I'm usually associated with not consent. - Right. - And also like child brides. - Yeah, I would agree. But also I think that's like a big thing to me is that I feel like it's the same thing just a different font. Like you're telling me that when it's polygamy and it's a man with many wives, it's illegal and wrong and bad. But with polyamory, we're just gonna change the name and say, "Oh, the woman can do it too if she wants." But the man's still gonna go out and like, just to me, I'm like, "It's the same thing, just kind of different." And I feel like one is really obviously for good reason. Like polygamy is wrong and bad. And so it's for good reason. Like talked about negatively. But just the sentiment around these open marriages, you read the comments and it's like, "Oh, how beautiful, so many loving people in one situation." And both of these people that I heard these women, now we're in these interviews talking about there's like strong feminist women. And I was very confused by them then being in open relationships and open marriages. Because to me, I couldn't think of anything more patriarchal than an open marriage or like letting your husband or your boyfriend go out and sleep with other women. I just literally can't think of anything more, like the power dynamic there is so weird. The manipulation that comes into play with that is so weird. And it just made me really mad. I was like, "This just doesn't make actually any sense with what you're saying. The one girl was not going to go out and have extra affairs, but she wanted her boyfriend too." - And so you got turned on by it? - Yeah, she did. Yeah, I was like, wow, okay, so that's just, I mean, she said it was weird, but I'm like, but that is, I'm like, okay, but the empower balance there is so interesting. And I think too, it's like you're, to be fully known is to be fully loved. And so if you're saying, "Hey, husband or boyfriend, you can pick these things about me that you like." And then the other things that I can't give you, you can go get from someone else. - Yeah, shop elsewhere. - Shop elsewhere to pick and choose what you want for me and then go get other things from other ladies. Like that is so disrespectful to yourself. Like you are enough. And like that is the point of a relationship is to be fully chosen and chosen every day to be loved and served and cared for, you know? And so I don't know, just this idea of it is really, it's just really ticking me off. - Yeah. And I think it's wild how far reaching the relevance is because before this even became like in those circles, like the circles I listened to. Like callers have called an adjondolony that have been a part of relationships, like marriages like this for years. And a lot of times I would say almost every time it's a woman calling, being like, I want to close our open relationship. - Right. - But like, how do I do that after if this has been like our marriage for the past 10 years? - Yeah. - And it's so hard. - Yeah, I mean, I don't know how you could, that feels nearly impossible at that point, you know? Like I just can't, like it's just not, I shouldn't say impossible, but that feels like, yeah, I don't know how you do that. - You have to start a whole new everything. - Build everything up from the bottom because that's totally, and I'm gonna be so frank, I haven't, this isn't just these two people I'm talking about, like I got on polygamy TikTok. I don't know how I got on that side. - No polyamory. - No, I know bygone polygamy TikTok. And it wasn't like FLDS, it was like business CEOs. Like corporate guys with two, you know, they're not legally married, but like, and they call themselves polygamists. It's like becoming more of a thing in culture. And because of social media, I feel like it's just becoming more known before it kind of hit in the dark. - Right. - And that's what it was like, we probably shouldn't be doing this, but we are doing it. - Right. - And now it's like, no, let's make it. - Right. - Normal. - And beautiful. - And people in the comments love it. They're like, this is so amazing. You all get what you need. And that's the part to me where I'm like, every adult consenting adult has the right to make whatever decisions they want with their life. But then when it's like young people seeing this, and even just people that are like curious about this stuff being influenced a certain way, I'm like, short, yeah, you can make your own decisions, but also like you should make your decision fully informed. And I think it's the job of people to tell you that that's not healthy or right or good in the long term. Maybe in the short term it feels good. I feel like there are a lot of things that are not good that like work in the short term. But long term, it's just like, I can't imagine a world in which that relationship is fulfilling and satisfying and loving. If like, you're not fully chosen every day. - Hmm. - Do you know what I mean? Am I so offbeat? I could be offbeat. But like, I think that the counter argument that I hear often for a number of different things like this is like, well, no one's getting hurt or no one. Like everyone is agreeing and everyone's happy with their arrangement. The thing that I think about is how many eyes now are open to this like being a very positive, like as being like an option that are being influenced by it. Like I'm thinking about like, I mean, thinking about how many middle schoolers and high schoolers are on social media. - Right. - And that therefore we know the influence that has on shifting like cultural trends - Totally. - Like lifestyle ideals. And I think when the narrative is so one sided, that's where it gets dangerous. - Right. - And so, yeah, it's always in a positive way. - Everyone is allowed, like you said, free well. - Yeah. - Do whatever you want to do. Share whatever you want to share. - Right. - When it feels scary to share the other side of it, you're not getting an honest representation. I can speak to like, amazing benefits of monogamy. - Right. - But you seem like an odd one out to say that. - On last, like we're being controversial to be like, we actually love monogamy. - Right, like why are we scared to talk about this that is like the taboo and maybe not the best way. And I think it's just, yeah, it's like, okay, we don't want to ruffle feathers or like stuff in people's toes. But also when we do have a platform and it's like, are we talking about some of these things that are big? It's like, I don't know, it's just a shift in culture that I had noticed this and I was like thing. - You made a really interesting point too on connecting like the implications of this on like the feminist movement too. - Yeah. - I just, I'm so, what are you talking about this? - Yeah, like I'm a very classical feminist. Like, yeah, I want girls to have, they're fully equal in value and want them to do everything that a man can do if they want. Yeah, I think it's just, this is more so a conversation of like, you just deserve the best and you deserve better and like you deserve to be felt like you're enough. And sometimes I feel like there is this level of protection that women, they tell themselves like all these lies and it's like well, if you can't get it from me then go get it from someone else but like still come home to me I think today. And like that's just not, that's not the point of a relationship. The point of a relationship isn't just a fulfill your sexual desires. The point of a relationship is to like walk hand in hand with someone and like experience life and when crap hits the fan, you know that you are like with this person and when you say and think and do horrible ugly things and that person sees those things in you, they still choose to love you because they know that you are valuable enough just in that. And I just feel like the like the dynamic and some of these, the sentiment of like open marriage is just that you're not being chosen. Mm-hmm, I don't know. Like we can exercise self-control. Well said. Because Arthur Brooks said he was like denying yourself like from every impulse that you feel is what separates us from like Enneguana or like from Enneguana, from like animals. Yeah, and he's like we have this part of our brain that other animals don't have. Right. I mean, do other animals have prefrontal cortexes? I want to say no. Because that's their decision making and I feel like animals are just like on survival and he was like basically that's what separates you from an animal is the ability to tell yourself no. And I feel like that is, I mean, it's a discipline is a good thing. It's not like, it's not straight, but yeah. It's not popular, it's not trendy, right. It's not gonna make any splashy headlines. Right. But I do think they'll get you the farthest probably and probably who knows. Hey, I've never been in a thruple. Me neither. I never will be. I never would. I didn't confidently say I'll never be one. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That would be me being cheated on. And actually, that would be me being the whole different conversation. I'm looking at contacting a lawyer. Yeah, wait a minute. The miss is not be messy. That would be really messy. Yeah, I heard a thing about any more thoughts on this 'cause I feel like I've had so many thoughts last two weeks. I was trying to condense them into a list. But yeah, I just like, oh, for women, I'm like just a man more. Yeah, you should demand more. Yeah, and that's commitment. That's all I got. Well, Polyamory is a great topic, ready to sound off. I'm ready for this to reach the wrong side of the internet and you can come for me and guess what? I don't care. I don't care. I thought you were about to try and segment it. I was going to segue it, but I had to say that too. Can I say my fears? Sam, is that when people are playing by different rules? I always say that. It's okay. When people play by different rules, I'm like, I'm going to say that. It's okay. When people play by different rules, I'm like, I'm afraid to enter that game because I have my own rulebook of how I operate in like a public space, how I operate in a private space. When people have a different rulebook, I'm kind of like, ah, you're willing to go lower than I'll go. And so therefore, that's just a humbly place to be. OK, well, how's that going to say with that? So Polyamory, why not? - Wait, we can't say it. - So there are many partners, we've been in many places. (laughing) - Why is it a bit now? It was like, it was an advice of like, you guys need to segue way better. - Right. - Now it's like, how are we gonna make this connect? - We're talking about travel, how are we gonna make this connect? (laughing) - Just move it over here. - Okay, let's get a little bit off the hot seat. How about that? - Something a little safer. - At my stomach's hurting worse. (laughing) - I feel relieved. - I feel relieved. Our group chat was popping off the other night. - Yeah, it was. - I was glad I was able to talk to you guys about this. - I just feel really happy to be in the know about things. (laughing) Oh yeah, that's crazy. I was like, wow, that's crazy. (laughing) - Thank you to Omaha Stakes for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I used to buy the thickest, hardiest chicken breast you could ever find. Like these things were definitely loaded up with all the antibiotics. Just not the best meat that I could find. I've had a change of heart because Omaha Stakes has completely changed the way that I experienced and eat me. Omaha Stakes delivered right to my door and I was just immediately overcome by these amazing juicy tender steaks, chicken, and I mean, the quality spoke for itself. Omaha Stakes has been perfecting the art of premium protein for over 100 years with zero compromises. From mouthwatering burgers, chicken, pork, seafood, dessert, and more, for a great dinner just minutes away. We had their burgers for like a little grill out and they are so lean but still juicy and tender. I also just created a made steak for the first time with my Omaha Stakes filet cut and it was unreal. And I didn't mess it up. I was really proud of myself. Delicious juicy steaks. Taste the Omaha Stakes difference and never settle for grocery proteins again. Get flavorful high quality proteins delivered by visiting OmahaStakes.com. Plus $35 off when you use promo code Abby at checkout. It says OmahaStakes.com code Abby terms apply seaside for details. - Okay, and what's crazy is that we are leaving tomorrow for Hawaii six hours on a plane and I'm not stressed about traveling with my kids. Which I couldn't say was the fact for probably about two years of my life. - Sure. The hardest time to travel with kids, I will say is right where you're entering. - I'm going on a flight in a month. - Nine months to 18 months. - Agreed Abby, the hardest age. - And honestly at that point, I don't have a lot of hacks for you, but I will try my best. - I was actually gonna take notes this time. - You can follow these, but then you just pray. Yeah, but we definitely had some horror stories before we got to this place of more comfort. Of course, this doesn't mean that we can't be knocked on our butt again. - Right, no, no. - And that's the thing about parenting that you just have to really just accept. - Right. - They'll humble you at any given time. - It's actually good for us. - Never get comfortable. - Right important. - And so unfortunately, I am a little comfortable, but we all have had our horror stories with kids in traveling, and you know what? You make it, everyone survives, and that's what you just have to remember when it starts getting rough. We're gonna get there, and we're gonna be glad we did this. And if we're not, we're never gonna do this again. - Exactly. - Exactly, exactly. - So we ask you guys what were some of your horror stories when it comes to traveling? And Kaylee, is it Casey? Kaylee, Casey, that's cute. - Said grade eight sailing trip, got my second ever period and was not prepared. - No. - You're schooled on a sailing trip? - Yeah, wait a minute, where are you live? - Well she's saying grade eight, so not America. - Oh. - We say grade. - Oh, Adi, you're so right. - grade eight. - Oh my gosh, thank you Kaylee. If you're an international listener, please follow up. We should do a whole segment on period stories 'cause I have some. - I would love to talk about my dude. - I never-- - I never tracked mine for like a long time. - Okay. - I'm always surprised. Let's do, let's do, let's add that to the list. - Okay, I'm actually, I have a whole new world of the flex disk, so. - Oh, yes. - We can have a whole episode of that series. - Yes, yes, yes. - Yes. - Okay, Mimi McNulty said, "The guy next to me took his shoes and socks off on a nine hour flight and it smelled like farts and eggs." - Do you guys take your shoes off on the airplane? - No. - I untie my laces. - I do too. - I always have socks off today on, oh my goodness. - Never without socks. - Now it's kind of game changing 'cause I used to never wear sandals to the airport because you had to take your shoes off and I was like, I don't wanna be walking barefoot on the airport floor. - But now you get to keep your shoes on. - Oh, so that's kind of nice. - I think I still just don't like to walk in sandals that much. - Yeah, I don't. - It's long distance. - It's long distance for travel days. - I agree, I agree, Addy. Yeah, yeah, socks off is nine hour flight. Alexa said she took a laxative traveling internationally. Why would you do that? Only toilet was whole with no door at train station. - Oh. - A whole with no door just exploding. - Not on a travel day. - Oh my gosh. - Oh, Kelly Best says a drunk man fell next to us on a plane and peed all over his shoes. - Oh, she said on her honeymoon. - On her honeymoon. - Oh no. - What is it with such a-- - Because I think it's funny. A lot of people order alcohol from the little cart on the plane. I just think that's so funny. - Yeah. - I'm like, you want that little-- - I don't know, I feel like people that have anxiety do a lot. (laughing) - Did you guys fight and daddy's gotten really bad? - Really? - Yes. - Talk to your therapist about it. - I cried on the way to LA. - Why? - You guys, it's one of those things that doesn't hit me until I'm in the air and then I'm like, when we hit turbulence, like it's not like it's-- And then I, and unfortunately, I feel like I've been in a plane a lot. - Yeah. - And then I'm like, why is this getting so much worse? Matt's like, he's like, it's getting-- Yeah, I'm like, I know. It's really bad if we're without the kids. Like, we had to go to LA without, like, for literally less than 24 hours. And we were not with the kids and we hit some bad turbulence. But tweet, it's a lesson in one hour flight. The flight attendant fell down. - Wow. - So I'm like, not trying to be dramatic. It was like bad, she turned out. - Yeah, he fell down with a tray of drinks and-- - Oh, dang. - Yeah, so then they put it on the red emergency light. The captain started talking to us and he was so sweet. It was as hard he was like, there's nothing to worry about. Anyway, I was like, sure that we were crashing. - Really? So I have to do with being pregnant. I think I'm worse being pregnant? - Yeah, so the first time I felt flight anxiety was when I was pregnant with Griffin. And then it's just continued to get worse. My stakes are too high if I die. - Yeah. - I get that when I'm with the kids aren't with me and it's just me and Keel, but I do get anxious. - Yeah, and I don't like it when I'm with the kids, but it's way worse. - At least they're not alone. - Yeah, so I told Matt I was like, I might need to die real dead together. - Exactly. - Why is that so dark? - It just shows where my head's going though. - Yeah, maybe you can talk to your doctor about getting some just zanx or something for a plane. - I'm not even kidding, dude. - I literally will, because it's actually not when I'm pregnant, but like-- - Yeah. - Don't let a kid know. - Don't let a kid pregnant again, so-- - And about five years, I'll take care of this. I don't have to think about so many things. I'll get boobs, I'll take care of my anxiety. (laughs) - Later on. - Okay, wow, moving right along, don't worry about me. Lucy says, our baggage, including our costumes, didn't turn up for a dance competition. - That would be so stressful. - I have a theory about that, but we'll go for you. - I'm not even gonna need to share the theory. - The theory is one of my hacks. - Oh, okay, we'll late then. - This is it. - Okay, Olivia said, I have a fear of flying, so it's always a horror story, relatable. - Literally, why? - I hate this about myself. I love traveling, because this is just inhibiting me. Just a single tear down my cheek and other people are sleeping. - I knew she was at home. - We, when we were flying home from Rhode Island, Abby was reading her book and then she closes it. - I closed it, 'cause I can't read when it's really bad. - But I was like, I was like, I was like, oh, I'm sorry. - She's so like, I'm safe, everything's fine. - Did it make you feel more anxious that the girl next to us was very anxious and then got off the plane? - Oh. - I was just so glad that she wasn't there, 'cause I was like, curled, do it for me. - Yeah. - You don't have to blame for me. - I, in the opposite, I fall asleep. I'm like, oh, me instantly. - Immediately, that white noise. - I fall asleep when it's smooth, but then as soon as it gets bumpy, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not trying to move up my armrest to put his arm on my leg and I was like, I need that. I needed to grip it. I don't wake up unless it like jostles my head, you know? There's one time where I was sleeping in my head, my head back and then the bump hit and my head flew forward and I woke up and I was like, whoa. - Yes, my leg showed me a picture on the plane with free-out. She's on me and I'm asleep. - Oh, yeah. - My mom's on me. - I dream. - Tay Lepper said, overnight bus in Thailand, had to share a bed with a mom and her three kids. Oh, not your mom? - A mom and her three kids. - That's, that's trooper status, girl. - That is intense travel status. - I've never even heard of that happening. - Only in Thailand, maybe. - Maybe. - La Lina, Mary says, was bored on a flight, tried to do a handstand in the airplane bathroom. Door flung open. - Why? - Don't get crazy and I don't play bathroom. - Just go to the bathroom. - Just go to the bathroom and get out. I'm sorry, are you really short? Because there's no way I could even give my hands on the floor in that bathroom. - I could think of other things to entertain you on the floor. (laughing) - But journey. - Going upside down and putting your feet where all the men's pee is. Oh my gosh, it's hilarious. - Okay. - I bet your flight attendant was like, this is, this is, she needs to be arrested. - This is why I hate my job, I'm literally. Amanda said a tour bus caught fire on the only bridge in and out of the Florida Keys. Stand still traffic for three plus hours. Oh man. - Hopefully everyone was okay. - That feels like a never-ending situation. Then you're like, well, I didn't prepare for this. I'm stranded on a long boat with no food, no water, limited gas, got a pee. What do you do? They're on a boat? - I'm sorry. Car. Yeah. The car, because you could run a gas. All right. Just turn off your car. Turn off your car and have a party outside. Meggie Ne says I puked a blue slushy outside the window of the car, but it was a cop behind and I got a ticket. What? Why didn't give you a ticket? This just mean. He said I'm gonna kick her while she's down. It's not illegal. Yeah. What? This is rude. Amy said forgot. Forgot everyone's underwear dot dot dot Walmart run. I'm sure I've done that. Honestly. Walmart delivery goes a lot of places. Is that one of your hacks? No. Well, part of one of mine. Yeah. Okay. Walmart delivery is great. Perfect. Sarah Johansson. Hanson. I actually bought two one-way tickets to NYC instead of a round trip. Oh. No. I think that's the way to do it. No. She bought them both one-way to New York. No back. That is that hack that I didn't write down. Yeah. Only by single leg of the journey. Agreed. Agreed. I never buy a round trip. The only airline that it benefits you on is Elegant. You're gonna discount every other airline. There's no discount for a round trip. Agreed. Agreed. It's great. And it just makes it so much more messy if anything has to change their travel. Absolutely. My husband and I went on our honeymoon not knowing there was an age requirement for the hotel. There was an age requirement of 25 plus. We were 22 at the time and had to sleep in our car the night of our wedding. Drove from Georgia to Florida night of our wedding to get on a cruise the next day. That happens. Happened to Blake and I? Happened to us in Chicago. I actually think that might have happened to us too, but with somehow we got around it. Blake and I were 18. It'd be 21. So we had to find a hotel that would let 18 years. Oh my gosh. Discrimination. Yeah, I booked the hotel but I couldn't I couldn't get in my room. You could pay for it. Yep. Don't know about me. Straighted in Chicago. They act like it's for safety but I'm like if you're both adults. 18. Yeah. If you're both around the same age. You're both young. You're both children. Yeah. Oh they're thinking of like trafficking stuff. I probably well I don't know because they probably want to be the like the person being trafficked probably isn't the one booking the hotel. That's so true. I think this is something that's always like a hoop law thing like keep the kids in the parties out. Maybe we should Google that. Why is that a rule? That's what they told us. They said for safety. Primarily to avoid legally unenforceable contracts with minors manage manage liability for potential underage drinking in rooms with minibars and reduce risk of property damage. To get alcohol out that makes sense. No that makes no sense. After we get married we were driving to a new country and my father-in-law was also flying in for a few days. He went ahead and we spontaneously he went on ahead and we spontaneously sent a suitcase with him which was really helpful just that inside the suitcase was my passport. The amount of times I've done stuff like that is just the most stomachs thinking feeling. Like what did I just do? I hate that. Oh my gosh. I was given the wrong room key and keyed into a couple's room. One word nakedness. She was given the wrong room key. Oh that's a new fear unlocked. That's so bad on the hotel. That's so bad. You guys I remember when Disney were switching hotels every day. I got lost in the last hotel because it was literally a maze. The GrandCalifornia is eight maze and I was one digit off but it was the middle digit so I was nowhere near a rush. But first of all I had sent Matt there already one time he's knocking on it and then in my head I still hadn't corrected that that was not our room number. I'm knocking and I'm trying to use my key and I'm like why is my key not working? Still not thinking. How would you not at this point when your key is not working and then knocking and then the moment I realized it I was like oh crap someone's opening the door and I just ran. That's happened twice to me where someone tried to get in my room. Matt this you're such a child. Yeah literally. I was scared. I didn't want to get in trouble. I always felt like such an immature and I was like I just can't face my problems right now. I know it just feels so awkward. Like walking in someone in the bathroom you're like oh sorry gotta run don't look at my face. Thank you Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I personally used Shopify for five years when I owned my small clothing business and it was truly a game changer in running and starting a small business. Starting something new isn't just hard it's terrifying to be honest and it could be hard to make that leap of faith but it also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. I loved that Shopify had so many plugins. It was compatible with so many different sites. It just was so seamless to grow and customize my business and my shop which I think really sets Shopify apart. You can get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. They have tons of free and paid templates that you can choose from so you can really customize your store to make it feel exactly as your brand is. Tackle all those important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics and more. There's no need to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. Everything is all in one place making your life easier and your business operations smoother. I just want to say that again and makes your life easier and your business operations smoother. It truly does. It is time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/abbey. Go to Shopify.com/abbey. That's Shopify.com/abbey. Transitioning from travel nightmares, learning from experience, we have probably adopted some travel hacks that we do differently now. A lot of mine I have learned from failure so just let me take the fall on it and let me pass on to you. Please when it comes to booking your travel from the very get-go set yourself up for success book in the morning. I know I've talked about that before on this podcast but the morning is just it safeguards you against any type of delays or cancellations you can read. You can adjust way easier sometimes like if it's a night time flight that's your last flight out of the day. What are you going to do then? You got to hold to like all these other things it's just such a mess but then also kids are fresher and you can't really bank on naps you can't bank on like them being any kind of sane state of mind later on in the day like start them off fresh if you if that means you have to wake them up really early in the morning do that over over like a seven p.m. flight move that's so spooky they get overly tired and they can't fall asleep oh that is so bad yeah my kids don't sleep on the go that's that's on me yeah I guess I don't know I don't think they would do that and also when you're booking a book direct whenever possible yeah I do not know that there's it's tempting to save money there's other ways to save money when you travel yeah yeah this you will it also safeguards you against cancellations delays just having an airport nightmare with children is 10x scarier sure and you're also just going to end up spending more money anyway when you have to get food at the next airport yeah because it's so expensive at airports and you're not going to say what you think you're going to say just get it direct yeah just get direct yep I agree direct flights always if you can okay this is actually I don't do this anymore but this was a really good hack that kill when I did when we were going on our honeymoon and so if you're like trying to find this is a budget travel hack okay we looked for cheap flights on skip lagged which I know here there's a caveat it's you cannot refund your ticket you have to be so sure that you're going to be taking this flight okay there's no refunds no frills no nothing but I got extremely cheap international flights when kale but I were booking our honeymoon um there are some caveats you have do not ever book a hidden city our mother-in-law made that mistake that's basically like and they're telling you hey you're gonna go to Phoenix to Saint Louis you have a layover in Phoenix that's what the whole point of skip lagged is though you know what I mean no that's not that's what skip lagging is that's called a hidden city I used to talk for a long I used it a long time ago and they never I the first time I ever got um offered that was this past year real no they've had that really yeah the hidden city thing yeah I think so yeah that's okay so our skip lagging is the practice of booking a flight with a layover at your intended destination so you really get off that's what skip lagging is really so you get off out a layover rather than booking a direct flight that city in order to secure cheaper airfare that's why it's cheaper really but I never did that I just used it to buy cheap I didn't even know that was like that's what skip lag is though interesting okay so don't do that don't do that because yeah you'll get you'll get trouble with the airlines so basically if it's like hey we're gonna go to sailing with the Phoenix they're like hey book this flight to Washington but it has a layover in Phoenix so get off a Phoenix don't do that that's bad they'll get in trouble but Caleb and I have got extremely cheap tickets on skip lagged to international trouble and the trick is if you go on the website don't move your mouse it'll show you the original flight and then as you're longer on the website the price continues to go down it's very interesting so if you're looking like the cheapest level flight wait say this hack again okay you go on skip lagged.com and you go and you type in your cities that you want to go to where do you move your mouse like don't touch your computer mouse you don't touch it don't click nothing and just watch the the price drop it's like a game I'm not kidding it'll show you the original price first and they think okay you'll see the high price you'll click on it and they'll try to get you to buy it. buy the more expensive ticket. But if you stop and you wait, it drops down, and then it shows the cheaper price. Maybe it shouldn't be right. How'd you figure that out? Caleb's it. I don't know. (laughs) So-- - That's okay to sack out. - Okay, so there's that, but it also Google Flikes is much easier and less sketchy. And, you know, I like you as Google Flikes. - That's a good one. - Yeah, Google Flikes, sheesh. - I think that's like an actual hack. It's like kind of like a sneaky thing that people don't normally do. The skip lag thing, but-- - Does it work on mobile? - Um, I would do it on desktop. (laughs) - Wow, that is crazy. People are like, "What is this?" (laughs) Google Flikes is another one that is amazing to help you find like cheap budget flights, and you can go by the day, like move your mouse along the days of the week and you can find the cheapest days. That's why I actually pick a lot of times when we go on our trips. I'm like, "Okay, when I want to go to this city, "when's the cheapest time to go?" And it shows you the whole year of the cheapest days, so. - Yeah. There you go. - Go hack. I never would have followed that. - I don't do it anymore. And now I like to slime with kids. And stuff is just too-- I'm like, "I want like a safer ticket." But when it's just me and Caleb, and we're just bootstrapping, backpacking it up, why not just take a cheap easy flight? Who cares? - Wow. - Yeah. Test that hack out. Let us know if it works for you. (laughs) That's a legit hack. Okay, this one is not gonna sound that secretive. - Okay. - Okay, but it's, um, my other hack is, check everything you can. - Yes. - I had that in my life. - And I mean like, do this to like the Instagram, because with kids, hands are just, it's so precious. - Absolutly. - And I'm actually going to the extent of don't even buy a coffee at the airport. - Absolutely. - You need that hand more than you need the coffee. I swear to you, every time I've done this before, like what I would do it before I would get a coffee, and I'm like, this is just a stressor. - Yes. - I need this hand more than I need this coffee. So like don't get coffee, just keep your hands as free as possible. And I also, with this hack, I wanna tell you everything that you can take with kids on any airline for free, because you're traveling with kids. You can check car seats for free. Check those, don't carry those through. - No, check it out. - I see people rolling their kids in their car seats, and I was like, oh my gosh, just check it. Check it at the front, don't check it at the gate. Check it at the counter at the front. - Yep. - You can also get free diaper bags. This is an addition to your personal item. So, you can check a breast pump for, not, okay, sorry. Don't check your diaper bag, take your diaper bag with you. You can bring that in addition for free. You can also check strollers. I recommend checking these out the gate. If you're traveling with kids, you can take them through the airport. So, the first thing you're gonna check at the counter, car seats, carry the stroller with you through the airport, through security, get to your gate, check that at your gate counter. - Yep. - That is for free as well. You cannot check a pack and place for free. So, if you're gonna bring a pack and play, that's gonna be a checked other bag. I would just strongly advise you to find a pack and play at your destination, and bring your own sheet for it, because it's kind of gross sometimes. You never know what they're gonna write. Like especially Airbnb's, I literally went to an Airbnb and they're like, we have a pack and play, I checked in advance. There was blood all over the pack and play. And I was like, so glad I brought my own sheet, and I flipped it over. I was like, that is, it was dry, but gross. And your breast pump can also doesn't count as your personal item. It's a medical device, right? So, yeah, those were things that I didn't know when I was early on traveling with kids. - Yep. - But your hands are your most prized position in the airport. - Yeah. - I had one like that read down. I said, carry on one bag, that's it. Check everything else. So I even combine my diaper bag and my carry on. - Yeah, personal item. - Yeah, then my kids can carry their own backpacks. I let them have their own personal item. - Cute, so cute, but it's small. Something that you don't end up having to carry. - No. - And I always tell them, I'm like, if you're bringing that pack back, you're carrying that. - You're carrying that. - My hand. - Exactly. Also with the coffee you're like sitting in your seat, it's just gonna get spilled, flown around. Especially with the baby, you can't do that. It's not worth it. - No. - And I take coffee seriously, so. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should know that. (laughs) Okay, that was my second one. I'll just skip to my third one. This, I also did this. And actually my mom and I were talking about this. This is how she does as well. She did this for us as kids. I did this as an adult, planning my outfits in advance. And I would roll them up and put them in his uplock bag. So all my outfits are sectioned out. And my mom did that for all of our kids too. She's like, it was so easy. Then you have all of your outfits. You know exactly who to do. You write the name on the bag and you just throw it in their rooms in the drawers, whatever it can go. So just the clothes aren't getting intermixed, getting messed up. And I loved it when we did international travel because it just made like, I didn't over pack. And I didn't have to think so much about my outfits of the day, I'd already thought about it. So then when I was like, oh, chow or change, really fast get ready, go out to dinner. It wasn't all this extra time thinking about my outfit. It was already planned. And then also it was just way easier to pack it all. - My mom did that with me and Blake. And my brother, and she'd have the date even on it. - Oh, for like the day of the trip. - And we would match. - Oh, that's really cute. - And then we would always, like, when we got older, we would fight her on it 'cause we wanted our own suitcase. - Of course. - And she's like, no, this is for the first half of the trip and this for the second half of the trip. We were like, oh, yeah. - But no, that's a really good hat. - Yeah, pack those clothes up tightly. - I don't give myself enough time in advance to pack and we do that. But I will strive for that one day. - Okay, this one is another one for kids. And I just, I gave myself this freedom. So I just want to, if this gives you permission to give yourself this freedom as well, more power to you. I just say unlimited screen time on travel days. - Oh, yeah. - So like, we're traveling tomorrow all day. My kids will not have any screens today. Where they know that they are going to have so much tomorrow that we just don't need to have any day. But I feel like there's a lot of pressure to think of all these ways to entertain kids on flights. And that's just more stuff to pack. And also, it's not going to be as effective usual as a good ol' show. And I will, I am packing other activities 'cause it's not gonna, I don't want them to only do that and I don't want that to thing. But if they're entertained, I'm not gonna be like, your timer's up. - Like, and they're entertained. We're gonna just ride with it. And so my advice is to bring headphones because there's been a lot of times with kids where I'm like, freak. They only have like those corded headphones and a lot of flights don't have TVs. And we've played it out loud like quietly and they have come and told us. - Yes, they turn it off. - Yes, and I'm like, - Do you know what you're doing here? - And I'm like, so then they're not nearly as entertained if they can't hear it well. And so bring headphones, bring the headphones that have Bluetooth and also have a cord in case you're on a flight that does have a TV or you bring a portable DVD player or some other thing that has that kind of jack though. - Yeah. - Oh, I guess, yeah, there's some cords too that can go into iPads and stuff. - Yeah. - I would also say, do you have another point on that? - I had a list of toys that are fun for planes for kids too. - Okay, that'll say something about the screen time. The next day, plan an outdoor activity. - Because when you're kids have so much green time, like with CJ, I'm like, okay, the next day. - Squirly. - So squirly, 'cause you're on a plane all day in the world. - Yeah, 'cause once you make it your destination, it's like fun time. They're not on the show. - Totally. - So the next day, just plan an outdoor activity where they can get all that pent up energy out. - Yeah. - We don't really watch shows when we're, I can't think of a time. - On a trip either. - If you feel so inclined. - Yeah. - Here are my fun toys for, these were what works for my boys. These little magnet guys, they're on it. I'll actually put links, all these on Amazon. These are so dumb. Oh, I don't know. They're these little magnet guys. They have magnets on their hands and on their feet. But everything on the plane is like magnetic. So you can connect them to each other and connect them to like their tray table in front of them. They're seeds. My kids think they're really fun. Okay, also, this is for kids that don't like to color. Because if your kids like to color, bring coloring things for heaven's sake. - That sounds like a great arching. Robot suction cup toys. - These what? - Same idea as the magnet guys. But they, if you go to window seat, they suction to the window, their arms and their legs and they stretch out their arms and legs. They think they're really fun. Those water art things. - Those are good. - You can just get a little cup of water or you pour some from your water bottle or whatever. Also bring an empty water bottle and bring your own water on the planes. That would be what I always, that's always. As soon as you get through security, you fill up your water. And they love those, they dry quickly and then they can do it again, and it's no mess. And you literally just bring that little notebook and the little water thing. If you don't want to talk about, you know, if you don't find the link so you don't talk about it, you just use water and colors. - Yeah, it's cute. - Last thing is, oh, stickers are really good on planes. - Stickers are really good. Get the puffy ones, they're not actually really hard to pick off. And recently, flashcards have been really good for Griffin. - Cute. - He is so into dinosaurs and so flashcards really, because he's like, really studies them like he wants to know. And they're more easy to travel with and fun. I would, this is something that CJ loves cars. And he's always loved cars. And so I was like, I'll bring his favorite cars in the plane, don't bring anything with wheels. They will lose them. - Because they fall down the floor and then they roll down the length of the plane. - Oh, yeah. - And you're like, sorry, buddy. Your favorite halvings. - Bye bye. - Bye bye. Don't do cars. I had a hard time adding, like, with a nine months to an 18 month old, the activities are so different. Because they can't do stickers. They can't do, they're not entertained by screens. So I think, I just always remember it, like getting CJ up and just walking down the aisles. And I would just take him to the back in like the airplane area and just like-- - Staying by the bathroom. - Staying by the bathrooms. - I feel like we all would enjoy, like, those busy books, you know, where there's just like things you can-- - Oh, yeah. - She's so, like, doesn't need to be entertained. Like if it's just something in her hands, like, she's entertained. - I totally feel like she'd be good with those. - She'll love things. - Oh gosh, yeah. - She'll bring a big ol' thing up up. - Yeah, she's gonna eat them all together. (laughing) - That's really good. A lot of good trips, also, like, the little mini magnetiles. Those are cute. - The mini magnetiles are great. - Really great. - Yeah. - Anything magnet. I bet Briya will love magnetiles. - I should've added that to my list. I'm adding that now. - Yeah. - That was a really good one. - Those are really good. - Okay, this is another one. This is for, like, parents. You need to have enough diapers. formula, snacks, and food for a emergency travel day. So don't just, you have that on there. That's my next one. Don't just pack enough for like you're a lot of playing time pack enough where it's like if there's a delay, if there's something you're gonna have like I would pack maybe four bottles of formula for one flight, even if it's like a you know you have your bottle going up and your bottle going down, I'd pack two extra things of formula for just in case you get delayed because you don't want to be delayed in an animal formula like that be scary. So if that applies to you, that's that. But when you get there, deliver all your goods to the house. By diapers at the destination. By your diapers, your big old cans of formula if you need it, your snacks, your food, anything extra even like your shampoo and conditioner, I sometimes will add that in the delivery. Anything that you just, yeah, don't pack it. We're going on a cruise in July, so it's like buy everything get it delivered. I'm like I have to pack it. I have to pack seven days plus worth of formula. I have to pack seven days plus worth of diapers. I'm like, do I pack it here? Do I get it in Florida? No, it's do. Pack it here. Pack it here. And just pay for it extra bag. Yeah, just have one bag of stuff. Literally just baby. Uh-huh. Baby items. Totally. That's like the one travel exception. I'm like, dang. No, and that's all my family does is creases. I'm like, we don't go to a destination. And then if I go and hold my mom just gets everything. Yeah. Same. It is nice when I go home. I don't have to bring anything. Yeah. That was my number four was buy diapers at your destination. They take up a lot of luggage space and then you might not have, it's really hard to figure how many you're going to need. Right. And then you might end up having to buy a pack anyway. And then you're like, oh, no, no, extra. Yeah. Yeah. My other hack with kids is that I just find we have so much more success if we get an Airbnb than like a hotel room. Now this was specific when you have multiples and specific. If one of those multiples is a baby, I think we're in a different place now where we're all going to share a hotel room and it's like totally fine. Yeah. But before when everyone has different sleep, need sleep schedules, it's really nice to have a little bit more space to spread out, but also a kitchen where you can like get groceries delivered Walmart plus I love Walmart delivery. Like so much. They're everywhere and they don't charge you more if you like are in a new location. Right. And so get it sent there, get their milk, like whatever they need, like just sent to your place. It's just also helps you feel like a lot more stable. I don't know with kids and traveling, it can feel like with, when it's just you and your spouse, like it's just like, yeah, we'll sleep on a carriage and it's like no big deal. But I felt like having like more of a place to go that felt like a home base. You can wash the bottles, wash the toys, wash, you know what I mean? Yeah. Wash the clothes in a sink if you need to. Yeah. Not it's crammed in a hotel room. You have more chance of there being a bathtub too. I remember that being an issue with the babies. I don't like showering with my baby. Either I felt like it was so dangerous. They were like a little wet pig. I was like, I'll drop you. I said, I would sit on the floor. Oh my god. Yeah, which felt gross on my butt, but I'm like, you know, here we go. You do what you guys do. Yeah. And that can shower with them. But for me, I just was like, I'm so slippery, sitting down and it's good. But that would be like a lot of hotels only half showers. Whereas that Airbnb is a house that usually at least one tub. Right totally. It's a good hack. You get four pairs of shoes max. Oh, I was gonna say two max. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh shoot. Maybe I'll skip this one. For me, kids get one closed-toed, one open-toed. Yeah, kids get one close-one open. Me as an adult, I get one nice night dress shoe that all my nine outfits go with. I get my workouts and issue that I'm gonna wear on the plane. And I get a casual day shoe, which might be like a walking tennis shoe or like a fashion day shoe. And then maybe a flip-flop. So you got three. I don't have to like daily. That's just sandal. See, yeah, three. Like, okay, we're more fashionable than I am. If you're walking around the city and stuff, I mean, you're wearing like a cute outfit during the day. I'm not gonna wear my hookah, and I'm not gonna wear my like heel for night out. So you get like a casual comfy walking day shoe. But you don't get like a different shoe for every night outfit. And my mom even goes so far as to say, put those shoes in your carry-on. Don't put them in your check bag. Then you can put all the clothes you want in your carry-on. But she doesn't have children. So that her carry-on looks very different than mine. See, I don't even do a carry-on anymore. I need my hands. Yeah, but she would put them in her backpack. Like her personal item. Oh, wow. Yeah. That inventory is a little too valuable. I know. I know. So we're gonna go carry on this conversation just a little bit longer on our Patreon. Thank you to those that have subscribed to that. That's really exciting. And have joined that community over there. It already feels like just like a fun addition where we can just, you know, dig a little deeper. Yeah. Feel a little freer. Yep. Um, so we'll carry this on and then we'll be right back. This portion of today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it's time to open up the conversation, break down this stigma, and prioritize taking care of our mental well-being just as much as our physical health. It's also a reminder that you don't have to go through anything alone. Because with today's sponsored BetterHelp, there's someone who's always with you, someone who's trained to listen, which is so important. Everyone in their life at some point is gonna go through hard things or have to learn how to manage hard things. When Caleb and I first got married, we went to therapy for a little while, and it was just really helpful to have a third party unbiased opinion and have them give insight into what was going on in our lives at the time. BetterHelp makes therapy accessible wherever you are, whether online or through the app. It can be really hard to go in person sometimes to find a good therapist in person. You work, you're busy. The online access that BetterHelp creates is really a game changer. Take the quiz and get matched with a license therapist quickly, and you can switch any time at no extra cost if it's not the right fit. 82% of clients actually recommend their therapist, which is a really high success rate. So go ahead and click the link in the description or go to BetterHelp.com/always to get 10% off your first month of therapy, because no one should have to go through anything alone. BetterHelp is here with you. Ask, ask, ask, Abby! Okay, we're back and we are ready to listen to you guys, because we've done enough talking. We really have. And so let's go to our voicemails. If you guys also wanna call in, it's a really fun thing that we've done since the very beginning here. You can call 602-456-9690 and leave a voicemail for us, and we will listen to it live on the podcast and then answer it, respond to it, whatever it may be. The flow is yours. Hi, friends. My name's Maddie. I was just going because I am just dying to know what you guys would make for girl dinner. For example, mine is usually a wrist cracker or like a handful of wrist crackers with some cheese on top of them and some like chocolate chips on the side. And maybe a chees stick if I'm really feeling cheesy. So I would love to know, but you guys make when you're just like, what do I got? I'm hungry. Anyway, thanks for your podcast. Bye-bye! You're good at this. Yeah, Maddie, I'm with you, girl. My girl dinner is just a boiled noodle with pesto and just some mother-in-per-machon cheese. Yeah, that's my girl dinner. That's actually similar to the dinner my mom would make us growing up. It was like late night. Yeah, she would just bolst and pasta, and we wouldn't put butter on it. We would just put parmesan cheese, just plain noodles with a little parm. Super dry. We loved it. It still hits every time. So yeah, it's noodles. I jazz it up, make a little more fancy with some pesto. I'm sorry, I like man dinners. I only eat man dinners. She loves her protein. I need big portions. I need there to be a lot of protein and I can't, I'm sorry. I don't want big protein. I want big carb. I'm too hungry. Get a big carb. It's just a little hungry. I really don't think if you gave me, I don't know how much noodles I would have to eat to get full out of girl. I'm not kidding. It's scary. Yeah, I'm gonna eat a lot of it. I do enjoy everybody. I'm sorry, I'm a man dinner, but I can talk about my favorite snack. Give us a good snack. If I'm gonna have a snack, I will have a chopstick. Oh my gosh, you man protein. She's sick, we're baby bell cheese. And then I've been really liking the Catalina Crunch protein mix from Costco. Maybe a fruit. Maybe a dried mango for feeling crazy. Fruit. My inner fruit. Oh my girl dinner. That's my girl snack. And it's still a platter. It's a snack platter. My girl snacks. Maybe be like some yogurt. Yeah, yogurt. I saw some of the other day that said, I genuinely don't believe anyone actually likes yogurt. Oh, I love it. I feel that. Really? I love yogurt. I eat it because I'm like, I should eat it. I'm not like craving it. You need more toppings. You need the different one. I do. I do granola. Chocolate granola. No, you need to get the little cashew chocolate almond, trail mix, and trailer doughs. Sweeten your yogurt. You just need to put some chocolate in it. I get vanilla. Oh, okay. It doesn't taste bad. It's not like I'm not like I'm gonna have a yogurt every single morning because it's so yummy. Yeah, this is my girl's snack. Sorry to change. No, you're gonna write, Eddie. Yeah, it's ranch dip in some potato chips. That's my girl's snack. Yeah. Wavy, wavy potato chips. Okay. Wavy potato chips with the ranch dip seasoning packet and full fats are created. See, I got a different one. I got a different one. Wavy potato chips. Name brand. Lays. Oh, yes. Nice. And the highland is that the brand sour cream and onion dip that they don't sell here. Unfortunately, they are so good. They are so good. And in this. is part of the country. - Highland, we're calling you out. - Yeah, I can't buy that. - So why hold? - My grandma brings it every time we go and she brings like double bags and a bunch of it 'cause all the kids, we just, Blake's like, "Right, you gotta stop." (laughing) - But I don't get it back home. - I know literally. Or the French onion dip is also really good. - Oh, that's what I thought we were talking about. - Oh, sorry, I'm gonna say French onion dip. - Did you mean French onion dip? - I'm in French onion dip. - Yeah, okay, sorry. - Okay, that's, it is better than sauerkraut onion dip. - Yeah, it's gonna hype you up. - Oh, no, no, no, French onion dip. Oh my gosh, it's so good. - Oh man, I just, my mouth was watering for that. - Okay. - It wants to make it all right after this. - I was thinking about something and I just lost it. - Hey, we should make that green dip again. - Yeah. - That was good. - That was so good. - And it was just an after podcast. - Yeah, that was so good. - We should have your mom make us after podcast. - Is that every week? (laughing) - Make me a snack. - Hi Abby, Abby, and Abby. My name is Andy. I am a new mom to a four-week-old baby girl and I have loved listening to your guys' show in both pregnancy and postpartum. And I wanted to ask you guys, what is one quality about yourself and one quality in your spouse that you hope your children have? Thanks guys, love listening to you. Bye. - I hear the baby. - That's really cute. - Yeah, congratulations on your baby. - From Caleb, I really want our kids to get his brain. I love the way that his brain works. He's so curious. He's a great question asker. He's like the way that he breaks down, he's a problem solver. It's just so impressive to me. I love watching it work through solutions. So I hope our kids get that. And for me, I hope they get, oh my gosh, this feels like weird to say. I think I appreciate that I'm not like a high anxiety, high anxious person and I appreciate by myself that I'm going with the flow. So I hope my kids can take that. Particularly I'm thinking about things rolling off their backs. Like I don't want them to like take things so personally or get stressed out about little situations. Yeah, I think that's, yeah. - Gosh, this is so deep actually. - I know. I was like, oh, let me think deeply about this. - I really hope that they get Matt's friendliness. I feel like Matt is just like a, like he's a golden retriever. He will talk to anybody and like he was so good at like, he's a good include of like, I even think about in high school. Just like the types of people he would be friends with and maybe like people looking out for people that didn't have friends. I hope that my kids would do that too. - Sweet. - For me, gosh. - I think the scariest thing is like, I'm like, I hope you don't get that. (laughing) - I know. - Don't, I don't know. - I'm like, let's see. - I hope that they're like this. And I don't know that I hope that I can be like, work on this too more so, but also just like, be very like selfless and generous. Like go out of their way for other people because I just think the world needs more of that. - Totally, you're a good example of that. - Make yourself uncomfortable for other people and that's just something that isn't popular, but I do think it's needed. Look out for your neighbor. - Yeah, I was gonna say kind of along the same lines, like I'd love for her to get, he's like brain in the way that he thinks through and processes things and just like really wants to learn. 'Cause I don't think I'm necessarily in that same boat. So I really love that he just really wants to understand. It's not like, oh, that's a fact, cool. He wants to understand why that, how that happened to become that way. So I think that's really cool. And then for me, I think kind of going off of your lines of friendliness, I'm just like the more outgoing side of me. I love Blake, but I hope Braille doesn't get the introverted side. - I want her to be introverted. If she is, I'll still love her. But I hope she's more extroverted and is like, I mean, I have good friends, but I can't say good friends. But I'm like, just spends a lot of time with people. - I did hear the advice. I hear a lot of moms say like, are you shy or they're shy? And like labeling kids too early with like being shy. I don't know why that's like something we're so comfortable with, like not that being shy is a bad thing, but they're hearing that. And it also can just like, it's scary as a kid to be around adults and to try everything is new. And like we can expect there to be some caution or like trepidation, we don't need to label it as shy. - Totally. - And so I feel like someone said like, don't say, don't ask like, label your kid as shy in front of them. - That's good, that's good. - And I think that's good advice. - That's good. And I feel like you and Blake are like the perfect, you guys are like the perfect balance. - Yeah, I would be like, we're kind of like opposites, but we. - I'm texting her, go all together. - Hi Abby, I just love your show. My question for you is, what is your good to freezer meals to take to your friends? I have a friend who's finishing chemo for their brain cancer this week and I'd love to stalk their freezer. So please give me some good suggestions other than Lasagna. - Thank you so much. - Thank you. - I've actually never brought a freezer meal, but my friends, after we had Vivian, they brought soup in a big, big pot and put it in my freezer and it was the best. It was a chicken chili, which froze really well. I wouldn't do anything with noodles. I would say something that has a bean more of a chili vibe was really good. And I just threw it in my fridge for a couple days when I knew we wanted an advance and it thought out and it was delicious. - I'd say frozen breakfast burritos. No one thinks about breakfast when you-- - Yeah, it's true. - Postpartum and those are so good 'cause you also don't have to do this long thawing session. They're individual and you just go straight from the freezer to the microwave. I linked that on the last one. So revisit the last episode. I think that's the best thing and I've made that for friends, postpartum too. - Yeah. - Okay, fine. You guys, thank you guys so much for leaving a voicemail. And are we gonna do always hungry? - Yeah, that was a great transition from voicemails. And now, always hungry. We love to share our recipes with you guys, what we're making this week. And yeah, you have a good recipe, you like to share? - I just have been reintroduced to banana bread for like the 20th time, but I'm addicted to it and I love banana bread. This is the first time I kept it in the fridge and I was like, why have I never done this? - Yeah. - Keep it in the fridge. - Yeah, it's good. But I have a good recipe that I'll share with you. I will tell you, you have to bake it way longer than it says. - That's every banana pumpkin bread ever invented. - Lower and low and long. - Yeah. Every time you're like pumpkin bread, 45 minutes, pull it out, wet in the middle. - Like what is this baking temperature? - The banana is going bad. - Yeah, they do. - It's such a treat. - Totally, that's so good. - Mine will be a taco soup that I invented on my own. - I'm gonna make this. - I'm making taco soup tonight. - Yeah, I hear your recipe. - Okay, I'll just share it. And then I'll have you guys write it out too. You ready Hannah? - Okay. Half an onion diced and sauteed with some garlic. Then you're gonna throw in one pound of ground beef. And I'm gonna cheat. I'm gonna do a packet of taco seasoning in there. It just is better. You can do a homemade taco seasoning. And that's great. - Oh, what was that cheating? - Well, I just never do it 'cause there's always like added kind of it key ingredients in there. Oh, do you wanna go check on? - Yeah. - You keep talking. - Okay, so then you add in that packet of seasoning. What else I put in it? Oh, I put in a dice. Can diced tomatoes. Two cans of black beans. One can of corn or frozen corn. Okay, those are everything going in there. Then you're gonna do some chicken broth. Let it simmer all together. Oh, a three-fourth cup of rice. Let it simmer together. - Oh, rice. - I love rice in it. - I don't put rice in there. - It makes it a little thicker. It's really hardy. It's delicious. A little rice in there. And obviously putting as much broth as you want. Let it cook until the rice is done cooking through. And then you're gonna put in a little bit of cheddar cheese and just a scoop or two of sour cream and that's it. Eat it with chips and avocado. - That's what we do. - Okay, so good. That was pretty, the rice turned me for a loop. - Yeah. - Yeah, everything else. - Yes, I love the rice addition. Yeah, well, that's always hungry for you guys. If you guys would be so kind as to leave us a review wherever you guys listen to your podcasts, that would be so appreciated. This is a review from M Brown 579. She says, "I've binged every episode of five stars." I found this podcast a couple weeks ago and I've already listened to every episode. You all are so funny. I have literally laughed out loud at some of the episodes. I feel so much lighter after every listen. Thank you for what you're doing. Thank you so much for that review. It just means so much to us. There are a lot of people here behind the scenes that help and make this podcast come to life. So just hearing that you guys are loving and enjoying the show really means a lot to us. Make sure to like that button, follow, subscribe. Check out our Patreon if you guys haven't. It's $5 a month. We got extended bonus episodes. We have our chats. We're putting recipes in there and always hungry. We're doing our book club over there like more extended. And we've got a lot of fun stuff up in the works for you guys for our Patreon community. It is just a blast over there. So thank you guys if you've already joined. And Abby is out helping a baby. So I guess it's just me doing this. Abby, you want to join me? Yep, okay. Ladies and remember, we're always here. (upbeat music)