Trashy Home Security! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Stop the presses gang the American garbage special is out on YouTube right now numbers are cooking We thank everybody for their support keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you Yeah, and if you like what you saw we are on tour right now We're gonna be in San Jose San Diego Tacoma Atlanta Fully hello Springfield Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Arizona Timonio Merrill and Milwaukee Chicago Cincinnati Columbus all tickets available at Ari Garbage.com if you got a garbage question come out and see the boy Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals Or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Hey, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, which are just a big old piece of trash your bags. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Toddy's in a new edition. She's upstairs in a bedroom with Hasselhoff Okay, that's a pretty good poll Sure David Hasselhoff really rushed to get through it. You're like a dog with a bone big man like that one It's gonna get a light to get to the bunch line Like the more than you my coach coming out from across the table. I don't know what this character is a family episode Just to boys the bozos and the homies and Luke just the way we like it my co-host is coming at you from across the table Very dear friend of mine CEO of are you garbage father of the year King of the Burbs King of the boards give it up for the one the only Kenny Ryan everybody Shout out to you big man's gone. He can a fucking Raja and that's you Shout to the mother fucking life. What am I talking about talking like it's got damn patreon episode. I'm sorry shout out First of all, please make sure you rave you subscribe on iTunes and Spotify full of available video available over there On spotifying the boys are climbing the frickin charts. I like it or love it. The underdogs in the top 25 Top 100 on all podcasts in the universe. Yeah, listen, that's all we need right now Need nothing more than that. I don't want to listen. I don't want to target on our back in the chart We're in here. We're hanging. We're going to work. We're doing well We're doing it. This is what is it? Steve win was in the middle of the charts for years. Mm-hmm. You know, Valerie I can't get demonetized for that copy right infringement Um, and then obviously check out you two two those numbers are American garbage special. Yeah, close enough. I think it's close to 700 thou six hundred fifty four American garbage. Yes, kicking off kicking off Let's go right cramps weekends hanging out in the city sticking our heels in. Yes, uh coming up We got San Jose San Diego the first show in San Diego sold out But I don't know how tickets are limited for the second show. That's only one night Take it's available for San Jose. You got Tacoma coming up. You got Atlanta. You got Philadelphia Got Boston just announced that's gonna freaking go to Wilba and a couple of them come into the Wilba Yeah, get all your tickets if you've never been to a live show. They're a good good time. We friggin love you's Before we get to the episode. I wanted to apologize Ask you a question Coming not to apologize said to show through my actions. Uh-huh. Well, what do you have? What do you have for me in that department then? Nothing. We'll be right back. I got you the fucking egg bites in the coffee today Yeah, but then you see the first one. I know but what's back me in a corner? No, no, no, no, this is this is how nuts you are I don't know. He gave me. Yeah, let it go. Listen, he wants me to let go let it go certain things and then he gets me a coffee I don't know. I feel like it was it was it was colder than room temperature when I got here cold I said it outside cold cold and he handed to me I take a sip. I know he's gonna get weird So I open it up because you know, you know, mom and dad, you know, we're you know, we're gonna rebuild it We're mom and dad are in a tough patch at the moment, but I come in. That's so great. I open it I go this is gonna be a thing if I don't drink this so you were I think which is even weirder I waited till I made I this is how we have to operate it. You're like a you're like a dog I open it up. I take a sip. I go. Oh, I go. That's that's cold I'm gonna make a hot cup of coffee and then we sit down and record it to put in the micro We sit down and record hard feelings like you're just not you're not gonna drink a coffee. I got you You're not gonna you're like you're like a resentful bad. It's crazy shark throw that coffee out Hey, don't it keep it space now go against the wall Fine, I'll throw it out. Yeah, yeah, which I bring us to today's video segment I don't like you produce the show Twitter, which you're on again, you're on a heavy wouldn't not on anything heavy you're on Twitter I've reshare the thing because I'm not on Instagram Your fucking two thousand Twitter followers and I know you see that hate I know you do because you respond to some of them by saying sorry like a fucking creep Oh, dude suck my dick pussy Hey, sorry about that mean. I'll try better next time of reals real sad replies PR company and bring it back to it still I don't think we need to ever fucking Gaddafi That's who you did that couple days ago. Got it for it. It was a good joke in the 80s. It's a good joke That chick with the fake blood's back in the news. She's got a movie coming out who get her turn out around Oh, yeah, he needs a fielder to follow you around this idol explode You wait you did what I don't know who's lying to you Fielder Luke, you want to give me this 10 grand or not? I was told cash in I promised a meal as well, you like the hassle. I'd be a big pole for her sure. The hoff still got it. Uh-huh, you know, yeah I'm not against it. I don't know what you're talking about now pleased age of H. Folly's videos Let's get you over to H. Folly's video corner Is this where you're hanging out at what's going on here? This is why you look at my place Now you're a you're a homeowner sure family man. Uh-huh handy Man, not really I'll cut it. Oh god god burn the tapes I mean, no, I'd lie I can do the average amount. So this I'm not trying to read. I'm not trying to save anything This is that the the birthplace of H. Folly. No, I've actually moved into um He's a little pain on it. Yeah, stop it. It's so well. Fuck it. It's true. Could you just fucking seal code or something on it? Fuck gonna be water climbing up them wall. I was like the alphabet boys just kicked that door and things got dryrod You know there's an axe on a fucking string A couple of pink cans waiting to go down take you out She's sitting there with a red rider BB gun. Make a move and I'll blow your brain I'll blow your dick in. Yeah, she's a she's a dead eye She's got a heater going. Don't move. Just see the cherry light Here's that guy killed a bear. I don't think so in the house. I don't think so. Oh dude. He's got bear was smoking Bear was in the house dude came down with a fucking long gun fucking lit it up real quick. I would have shit my pants the other night We I thought my wife put Hans in the crate and she did it and I was sleeping on the couch because the baby was fucking teething It's a dog man dude. Do you see he's a dog man a Harlem He said you really start lying to yourself when you hear noises. You're gonna. That's probably the aliens Dude, I'm like, I'm like there's somebody in my dog There's someone laying down in the hallway What the fuck you know me you try to ignore you know you try to lie to yourself that it's going to go away And I'm like, yeah, that's probably the neighbor then I'm like Like you're lying to yourself that it's in the house. I'm not Hopefully sure I hear a noise like that felt close, but it couldn't be everyone's sleeping wrong Hansy's out trolling fucking scared dish. I said he dumped bitch. You know fucking put the dog in the grate scared me I have to death Now What do you think now for the audio listener? Um look turn the fucking brightness up. What the what are you doing? You're like one of them chicks They always give their their screen low that's dark as shit What keeping a low I do that I keep my low I save my battery. I have a whole phone. That's probably the TV's got to go out all right I can sit in problem. Why are you throwing this out now? Oh, I thought you'd have it Well hold on a second pause it pause it pause it I go back What do you think this is for the audio listener? You have a door a nylon rope nylon very good Attached to a not one end around the door knob the other end with a loop Pretty good not work for for a for an old patty's good with patty taught me how to do that loop change my life long career and S&M I believe B.P.K. killer see you can only fit one testicle in there. Jesus Christ. Um. Okay, I think that's four to close the door or to lock it. But why would you be locking it? This is my thing. I don't know like I there's no real indicator of an issue like because the door is closed. Maybe the door blows open and so she like ties that to something else. Very good Kevin. Thank you. I'm a dirt bag. But yeah. Yeah. So what does that kind of play the tape through? Look. There we go. Right there. Oh, she hooks it on that. Yeah. And that because Joe's got fresh flowers. God lover. What are those daffodils? Uraniums? What are they called? I don't know. Yeah. They look like they're trying to tie it up or tie it up, tie the string up around there. It's windy. Why not? Okay. Get the door fixed. Yeah. But that's what I said. I mean, you could fix that. If it's closing that much, you get there's Jimmy. It's D Jimmy. You got to read Jimmy. That door's always been in a shack. It's watering it like you wouldn't. Well, look at it. The fucking paint's peeling off by the by the. All right. Take it easy. Trying to fix income. She got them widow. Widow wear widow. You got cat. Moving on. Um. Yeah. Yeah. That's some audio components to this too. Oh, okay. Cause the video works so well. Oh, my god. We ruined my tape. This is what happened as a burger from like you had to some fucking bozo in the mail room and they fucked it up. You just referred to Luke as a bozo in the mail room. Um. Everybody knows the shark's the brain. Let's you. We get just me saying. Oh, look at this. Yeah. Tied to the duraniums. Pretty much. Yeah. We can begin using our imaginations. Uh, yes. Very trashy. Very, but I mean, she's an old. You got to take care of her. You're down there. Get a handyman over there. Down there. You were dead. Who to film the video guy? I heard a guy. Uh-huh. Now I was down there. It was raining. Take care of it for her. I said it for like two seconds. You were there for a weekend. Yeah. Get the low pro. It's always something. You're always you're fucking not really the talk of the town down there these days. That's a contrary to what I hear. Just not good talk of the town. Sure. Sure. Fucking times Harold trying to do a hit piece on me. Oh, rightfully so. Um, yeah, that's, I mean, that's trashy, but like we got, I got stuff like that going on. Watch this audio drop. No, that's a dildos. No. I believe it did die ops. Oh. Like a dildo. Sure, you try to put it in your butt. Not that thing. Um. Sorry, diesel. Yeah, that's all I got. Yeah, it's trashy. It's very trashy. Yep. Um, I got something submitted from a buddy of ours. You're gonna top me with another video. It wasn't I wasn't going to top you. This is bullshit. I wasn't going to top it. You didn't play in it either. I could have guessed that I did. I guessed it right. You could have drug it. You think I didn't play along with it. You saw, you saw a letter, a letter that began with the, and assumed it said dildos, and then started talking about putting stuff up your butt. No, I didn't. Okay. Charcutten. Uh-huh. Bit of a swing and a miss with the, uh, I mean, no, I, I, you know, I'm trying to let their field producer. I know. Um, you know, you connected. I'm not so well. Those are corporate funds, mind the list. That, that, that, that, that, that, that all came out of pocket. Oh, what I think of it as you, it wasn't maybe the home run. We were, we were playing along with it, and you, you pivoted real quick and felt it felt you're like, ah, it's all I got it to wrap it up in the age of Holy Video Corner. We'll be back next week with a new video. I was, I was texting, I was texting with our, with our, uh, with our pal Chris, who is over there in the, uh, Luke Holmes camp. Ah, yes. We court. We chat quite regularly. That's not a good guy. The best call miss calling a, you know, running a hell of an operation over there. Yes. Um, fan of the show. He's the one that helped facilitate, uh, uh, Luke doing the show and stuff like that. Shout out to him. Um, he hit me with a, he hit me with a, with a text of, and it's very true because I deal with this when you're in the burbs. What do you, and I, I think certain people have certain things. What are your vibes and what were the vibes growing up with the bulk trash night? Well, like, bulk traffic. If you, if you have a recliner to get throw, to throw out, you can't just put out every night. There's certain things. So it's like what I, I think what you're willing to put out and how and when says a lot about the domestic household. Give me a Sarah Quill so we can talk about this. Holy shit. It was a war. Yeah. It was a war. Always. What was a different, um, um, opinions and guy, you know, might not put it out there. Somebody'll take it. Why? Why? I don't know. People. It was for like trashy because like we were obviously trashy, but we weren't like the trashy is. So we, I think it was like to keep up appearances of like, you can't just have my, I think my mom would go, we look so poor and trashy with this, having a couch. Yeah. Just like getting soggy. And then God forbid they didn't take it. I don't think they would. They go, they didn't, they didn't think that's got to come back in the house. I can't, I can't sit out there for the next week, until next Tuesday. That's got to come back in. There's a guy who out there to get it. You and your brother fighting. That's why we did it. We were always very fortunate that the family were all of my dad and set out worked in construction. If anything could I'll take that to the job, dump that down and fucking, you know, whatever, act me in the, you know, Port Richmond we're working on. We've mentioned this, but when somebody in the family was getting something done or any neighborhood close by in a four mile radius. Getting something done and there was a fucking dumpster in the driveway. We empty in the bathroom trash in there. Fucking tissues and cute tips falling out me and my wife get she's like just put it out. And I'm like, you can't just. Oh, in the city. No, the birds in the city out of city. I mean, with a city, the building manager does it for either. I'm throwing stuff everywhere. Yeah, like, you know, in different receptacles. When I was in the place in Hell's Kitchen, I just, whoop right when writing somebody else's trash can sure. But she'll be like, just put it. I'm like, what she wants. I think she grew up in an apartment. So there wasn't really. Did she go up in that apartment? Department to her parents. Yeah, no shit. I didn't know that. Yeah, I think that's the only place she's ever. I mean, she moved out when she got older, but that's. You've seen her childhood bedroom. Yeah, it's not a bedroom anymore. I think it's like her dad's office or whatever, but. Yeah. She. So she's like, just put it out. And I'm like, as like cardboard boxes and shit, like a lot of cardboard. Well, you flatten that out. I know, but she'll just like put it out. I'm like, if it's pouring rain or whatever, I'm like, I'm not. I'm calculated with how it goes out. You know what I mean? Not really. You flatten it and tape it up. Yeah, she'll just go put it out, but it might be late. Yes, but I didn't say that's not done. I go. I'm not doing that tonight. Oh, we mean say they're not like it's not. It's not. Fuck that. It's got to be ready to go out. Oh, yeah. And if it's not, we're talking to pass my blind doing it, whatever fucking. It's getting at me. It could be fucking to any of the new. I get me before supper. Fuck you. I ain't. Yeah. It's spiders and shit out there. Fuck that. It's darky. Shit. I fucking flattened boxes. I'm taping them and wrapping them up. I'm a pusomer squirrel. It's raining or something. Yeah, I'm to bring it back soggy. If they don't take it for whatever. It was like dead mouse. Oh, like cardboard. Now. It smells like dead mouse to me. I've never connected them. Really? No. I mean, dead met that death has like such a specific stench to me. Yeah, it does. Doesn't that. I can throw in seven different kinds of crazy today, boy. But yeah, I thought that was because he had sent me a picture of somebody that just put the bit like the table, the pool table out. It's not taking that. So it was also of red felt, which is the trashiest kind of my guy. He might as well have to have via fucking half a game and nine ball on there. That's crazy. Right. I go that to me. We would have to like we I'd like you got to get the souls all out, whack that up towards me. I'm like, it's got I'm like, it just looks like it looks like you discarded a dead body. Just like this regular trash company. The bulk. Oh, they do. I mean, my my town does bulk days. So if he got something big, I guess they send out extra trucks of like do people put like anything. I mean, like a pool table and they fucking crunch it up. And I don't know. That's different from back in the day. That'd be satisfied. Yeah, crunch it up. You see that thing that goes like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got, I got ticked on that thing. You get your finger in there. That's suck. You're right in. Sure. It's your clear. That probably be a painful. You think? Sit from an empty can. It's not empty. Okay. All right Accusations the internet says otherwise Anybody know I'm a talented performer, but I couldn't fake that You do take a bow Listen we got a gosh darn family episode on all this stuff as you know when videos stunk by the way bring that crap to me Well, yeah, yeah, you're you know Typically you bounce it off of us. I got something. Maybe I think it was a home run I didn't why didn't nobody said it was bad. I feel you I gotta run a past standards and practices. I feel you pulled out pretty quickly. I feel like I was like Yeah, I didn't that I've never done that and you know you went on the attack very fast. I lost confidence Okay, you started lashing out. Yeah Classic classic Henry I respect the play love a lasher Go on again. Good defense is a okay offense Oh Kid you like that fabletics love that fabletics. I know you're a runner. I try. I'm on a weight loss journey What are you doing you walking around in the in the cheap shorts and looking like a bozo? Or do you want to feel good? Yes, when you're working out. Yeah, that's why you go over to fabletics You yourself all straight and that they got a big golf trip coming up. So you want to go back out on a take a spring You want to get back out on a course, right? You don't want to shop with jeans and timberland look on like a Bozo like a Bozo fabletics will get you straight and that you look good You feel good you do good fabletics. Yeah with fabletics. You don't have to compromise The the lower prices don't mean lower quality everything's nice good fits well good trim good style good cuts It's sleek. It's fitting. It looks you don't look like I used to look like a Bozo I used to look like you know I was I was cut and waiting a wrestling in a wrestling gym in the 1980s. I now look like I belong in a gym long johns and shorts Yeah, that's that's what it's it makes me go and I feel better because I go oh, I look like I belong That's all you know, I mean I feel better even if I don't I go I look like I feel there's there's that much less self-consciousness when I'm at the gym looking like an idiot So if you shop now a fabletics.com slash garbage you get 70 80% off everything when you sign up As a new VIP take a quick style quiz and be sure to select garbage when prompted to unlock this offer This is a limited time offer. So don't wait again the fab that again that's fabletics.com slash garbage for 70 to 80% off everything when you're a new VIP do it Kip this is square square square square. I know you know square because we use square uh-huh support for today's podcast is brought to you by square Parent places that you like to go you buy something you're like man that checkout process which really quick and easy It's so it's so you don't even think about it That easy. That's what I would say you just go. I'm checked out already and I'm all with my day that square we use square Yeah, all right. You're starting out a little business. You got something going on square. You look like a professional the professionals use it That's why you look at your professional do yourself a favor. We have a lot of hustlers out there. Let's start inside project Yeah, better people with small businesses use square. We got Ryan Diesel back there at the merch table with the square Bing boom bang. Yes, and right now listeners came to up to $200 off square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash Go slash garbage. That's S Q U A R E dot com slash go slash garbage visit square To get started because the right tools make all the difference and if you're a business owner You know that one more time if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools square helps you sell Managing grow without slowing down right now one more time $200 all square hardware at square dot com slash go slash garbage That's S Q U A R E dot com slash go slash garbage run your business smarter with square get started today that yeah Uh, let's see this one. This is a great name. This is from thank holy $10 on pump five years. That's great Um Is it garbage to leave a $20 bill on the dash when you take your car in for inspection? Hopefully they'll play ball I never knew how you would do that if you didn't know the guy. I kind of respect. It's subtle. Yeah, it's that's very subtle 20 20 plays man, you see I think Does anybody really not pass inspection anymore? I think Pennsylvania's way more vigorous than I mean New York New York's like I'm a nerd in two minutes. I got that coming up. New York doesn't have five literally like five yeah It's like that. Yeah, that okay. You're gonna put it on something. I think they do the emissions and I think they check the brakes and the lights or something I don't know I was talking about like an ethical car. What is it called? Ethelene? Ethelene? Ethnel? Ethnel People have those. That's just stuff in search, isn't it? Ethnel. No, that's wetson Oh, remember wetson I would get you right got wetson in it night. I thought it was good for you. It's good for your breath wetson wetson all right. I don't know. I have fruity certs. They're delicious Really? Huh? I had a whole thing of recolus in a day in therapy. That's my therapist if you had any any cough drops or candies He's usually a little bowl of something and he did the whole bag. Yeah But he's can't comment on anything. Yeah. Yeah, that's like that's pretty wild Hey, do you have one and then you eat the whole inventory of something? Yeah of someone else's Yeah, did you ask at any point? You might I'm sorry. I'm in a moment like I'm can I crush these? I know some nuts See, but you just I know what nuts and manners are To say you're crazy. Yeah, there should there should be and I think that's one of I think that's one of the cruxes of our issues Get some fucking hard candy in there Also, hey as a guy who's you know on the chunkier side and obsessed with candy. Why don't you roll around with candy? You know, you're like a hard candy. You're a bigger man. He's sugary sweets. I do lack a teeth. Yeah, I still haven't found my lollipop yet I believe in you though. I don't like blowpops. Okay, yeah, we know what's given them no one's made I like them, but I want to swallow something Cut that pause Um, yeah, I listen, I think 20 is good If you're you know say that happens one or two day. I mean say you got one a day Hunter bucks a week PA does have very relatively thorough and strict annual vehicle safety and emissions inspection Really, what I mean, emissions come on. What are we doing? I think that's really all they check. Yeah, like it's like Well, what's how much is that much data like unless there's no doors on the cars something We had a our gig grow our gig growing up was my stepdad and his Boy were mechanics and they had this like race car. Yeah, they worked on and the next to them was a actual garage. Mm-hmm So all of our cars They would inspect who him and his boy my step that is Boy, and then he had a license to inspect cars. No, they would just go hey Well, hey sticker. Yeah, but no, like the sticker. I think they had to run the emissions. So they'd be like hey just do the emissions Me and fucking Andy took care everything. We put new brakes on it. He's it's all good. Mm-hmm. And they got all right So that was like pull now Yeah, all the memory gave me the bad brakes. So he Wait, those were bad. Yeah, they ended up going No, wait, what do you mean those brakes? They were just old Yeah, I had just gotten an inspector here. I just got the car back that car got pissed inspection Yeah, oh my god. I mean not by the state of Pennsylvania But by the state of my stepdad and his homie. Yeah, like a wolf grinding his teeth. Yeah, they ended up going Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that had just passed that that had that was just inspect it talking about playing ball. Yeah We were a big kind of handshakey. This one knows that. That's how all we got a guy That's the way the burbs just operate Yeah guy. Oh, you're gonna see Nicky. Go see Jimmy and Nicky and he was in he would he was born and raised in bucks Like a hill bill back when it was like all farmland like cowboy guy So he knew if like he had a guy it was like He had never left the area. Hmm. So it was like he know that's so and so that was like old Boxp. Oh, that's so and so's brother. I went to school. It was very like pick here. Yeah Which I respect I need more guys now. I don't got guys. That's that's fading unless you're really got roots somewhere I kind of have a guy on queens with that that the automotive place You know, uh-huh, but not that's not a guy. That's just a guy you've been to well Yeah, I don't know. I'm just saying that I think your guy's got another name You don't know your name. I don't know. Hey chunky. Hey Riko lot. There you are I don't know his I know he's a manager. Uh-huh. Yeah, you know you got to know each other's name She got like a shit. I got the guys at the deli That everybody's got them. I was in there today. I know you yeah by name. He knows he knows I don't know He knows I don't want utensils and I don't want napkins. They know we know each other. I try to keep it that way Yeah, I try. Oh, Jimmy up over there because yeah, because yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally Start spitting my ass. I go in there. You're fucking working one day Hey, yeah, trying to avoid my content. That's shit. Hey, can I take my break? Please post You ever use the bathroom in there? Yeah, yeah It's like, uh, it's like rikers. I got a bus you in. Hey, hey, hey, hey you can Why I ever time go? Hey, the bathroom goes, yeah, I got you and then you gotta just trust them and walk back And you gotta because they never miss and then by the time you get there, it's buzzed But it's not when you start going. They got you. Yeah, I got I have a lot. I don't think I - I talked about this, I wanted to talk about this. I have a lot of guys that handle stuff, but they're not my, they're not, I got a gutters guy, I got a Christmas lights guy, same guy. - No shit. - Could do your Christmas lights? - Yeah. - Really? - Uh-huh. - How many years you've been doing that? - I think three years. - And you're killing it. - Dude, it's like, I'm not even fucking around. For the lights, the first year I think it was like, for all the lights that are custom measured to like, what I want. 400 bucks, he keeps them all year, comes back and puts them up and like, each year it's 300. - Oh shit. - And they're the same lights, they go up, the timer, I don't have to fucking touch 'em. All the extension cords, everything's completely fucking done, and then he comes at some point, take wraps 'em up, puts 'em in, stores 'em for the next year. It's. - I'm thinking about doing a tree this year. - Fantastic. - Oh, let me try with an apartment first. - Hey, don't, um. - I walked into that one. - What, living under a tree this year? - It's gonna be a redwood big guy. I got a tree guy, I got a long guy, but you know what, it's very trashy and nice about that, which makes me feel nice, you go, hey, can you, I mean, reminds me, I gotta fucking pay the guy for the gutters. I don't think I paid him for the lights. - How many times you can you, we cleaned our gutters once in a while? - I once in my life, 'cause it was leaked, 'cause I had a tree girl, I had fucking. - Oh, it sprouts up there? - And it was leaking, if dude, we could be in the middle of a drought, and this was still like, still dripping water. - Really? - That's probably bird shit. - Yeah, so I don't know, he went, pff. He's like, I've never met the guy, you know what I mean, I don't meet these guys. - You don't have safe guards up there? - I do, they've got guards, yeah. - You got those. - He came with the house. - No shit. - I mean, they're all fucked out, they've got trees growing out of 'em. - That's pretty good. - But, it's a genius idea. - You know, it's great when you go to pay, like now everything's like, I go, 'cause I'm not a zel guy, I'm limited in zel, my bank, thersel, I don't like zel. I'm a Venmo guy, but Venmo crack down on what? - On how much money you can get in. So these blue collar, not side hustle guys, but not guys who are like processing credit cards and stuff. They have, they're trying, a lot of people are trying to limit their Venmo income. I think anything over 600 bucks now. So they're trying, I think they used to be a grayish area, the Venmo, that's why we switched over. You start getting got. So they don't, - Do you excuse me for one second? - They don't like, they don't like take, do you have anything on this? They don't like taking money on the Venmo. - Never see me do that. - Not yet, the $600 rule, let me see, let me dive into this. - Thanks a lot, my dummy. - What the fuck, man? - So, I had multiple guys go, I'm like, yeah, this zel's not, I have a limit on my zel, it's like 500 bucks or something like that, I don't know. A day, I don't know what it is. - That's crazy. - They have the $600 rule historically, refers to an IRS reporting guideline, requiring business or third party payment that works to issue tax forms. When the payments exceed $600 in a calendar year, so they're probably cracking down on it now. - I think that's what it was like two years ago or something. - But now- - I saw one time and I had to get approval for it and they asked me what was the four. - Yeah, it was asked. Now pay my fucking bills. - Take it. - Take it. - Three in the morning, ladies, the fucking tickets. - Uh-huh. - Okay. Physical therapy and green juices. They go, he ascended to my wife. So I love that though, I go, let's go. Guys, spread the file, send it to your uncle, your nephew, set your daughter up on an account. She two years old, get a Revenmo. Well, fucking- - Where's this all going? - What? - I don't know. - I don't know, but I like, I go, yeah, fuck. - We gotta bring cash back. - It's not, it's going. - I offered somebody cash and they were like, eh, it was like a headache. - What? - Yeah, it was like, for like a discount, for like, we were getting something done to the house. I said, you know, it was expensive. I said, what's cash look like? He's like, eh. I mean, like, how is he going to deposit these? Like, now I gotta like, fucking handle this much cash? - Just keep it and- - For cash. - But no one's taking cash. - What do you mean no one's taking cash? - I just, what we're talking about. You just said cash has to come back. That means no one's taking cash. This is off the thesis that you started. But you, like, I can't walk into like, urban outfitters and pay with cash. - No, you can, but it's just no one- - That's what I would. - Also, a lot of them are getting rid of the cash register. Yeah, situation. - No shit. - Just did some shopping and so this weekend. - Yeah, no one, I mean, they don't want it. They go, no. - No kidding. - Yeah, it's all through the app and the email and everything. - Huh. - So they just say it was 10 green. This guy goes, now I gotta fucking spend $10,000 and cash is gonna take you a hundred years. I fucking might still be eating it by the time you spend it. - That's what happened to Pablo. - Uh-huh. - The rats. - I don't form with the other. - So, yeah, I kinda, I like that. I said, I'm with my wife right now. Send it to, send it to us. - I'm with my wife. - My guy. - I've been dead for 20 years. I don't care, man. Keep the plates spinning. I think the one guy's a fan, the other guy's not, 'cause it comes from my personal Vembo. So like they said, it's like me with a microphone or whatever. And the one guy, the one guy that is. - I don't know what it is. - Yeah. - Yeah, right. (laughing) - Let's run the tape, will we? - It's just very funny. The one guy's like, yay, no worries, no worries. The other guy's like, once nothing to do, I feel like I'm bothering him when I'm sending him money. - I guess, man. I don't know. He's like, you're also, I'm bad on paying bills. I get behind. - Hmm. - But. - I'm saying a couple. - I don't have a kind of Edison. - What has he spent you? - It's crazy. You're behind on your fucking electric bill. You're fucking lived there anymore. - Huh? - Yeah. - Okay. - This one's just funny. This is from Roy E. Munson. You ever bet someone for paychecks? That's a dirt bag thing of the '80s, I feel. - I would never roll that dice. - Never. - Yeah, that was a big thing. Sign your check over. Like, I remember my stepdad talking about gamble and they were used to play AC Ducey. - I bet they did. - Oh, what sexual thing is that? - I don't know. - And he's like, yay. I remember he said one guy, I think it was his brother or somebody that were playing-- - I would ruin you. - He had to sign over the next two paychecks. - Oh my God. - I'll just say, I fucking kill myself. I'll see that would be it. - I remember. - What? - I used to hate waiting the three weeks when you first got the job. - That was the worst. - This fucking training was gonna float me on something, though. - That's crazy that they do that. - I know. There's no way they do that anymore. - They're doing shit now where it's like, you get paid the day you work. - Really? - But like, if you're like a caretaker and stuff, there's those kind of-- - Caretaker. - Yeah, a lot of people's prime everything is they take care of a loved one. Like, I take care of my grandmother. And like, they get paid for that? - You can't. Oh God, here we go. Maybe you're a caretaker. - Yeah. - Apparently it's whether you drop kick. - This is all just from commercials I've seen or whatever. I don't really know. - Take out the gutter goods. - I don't have boots on the ground. Experience with this. - Are you talking about Dave? - Whatever it is? - I don't know. Is it happening? Is it happening alone, John? - I think it needs to be an advertiser. - Got up to him. - The sketches are greasing you for that. - Get you hooked up to Dave. (laughing) - Get my money now. - Buddy, you got your money and a lot more other money already at a time. - No, but is it looked that up? If you're a caretaker, there's like a thing where it's like, I don't know, whatever. I don't think the lag times a month anymore of what it used to be. You know? - Yeah. - If you started in the middle of the paper, well we're gonna lump that one into the next three. - I said, you shit. - But when I got my job at David Seafood, I was hurtin' for a squirtin'. (laughing) - Dude. (laughing) - Had to wait like three and a half weeks. - I'm calling your mom. You're like spending money to get there and shit. - Dude. - And I'll just need 20 bucks of gas money. - They used to put biscuits on the table. I was eating those every day. - Breakfast. - I didn't stop when she got that paycheck. They didn't think the honey butter is all right. - Man, that's like a restaurant that's fresh biscuits. They were like, honey biscuits or something. With honey butter. - I got the honey part. (laughing) - They're honey butter biscuits with honey butter and honey in them. - They were sued. - Uh-huh. - Yeah, man. You were lying on fucking demo food to get by. That's jammed off. - Like stuff that they'd let you eat so you knew how to sell it to people. - Uh-huh. - They're honey butter as a honey butter. That's what you're pitching to the table. - I like the seafood enchiladas. That's what Jamie Fox had when I waited on him. I scarfed that down the second he left. That's where I got the thing we order a bunch of stuff and you only have celebs do. - You know when you're gonna start eating half. - I do that now. - Okay, I get a bunch of things. - Yeah. - I mean, like a smorgasbord. - Get out of me and we'll try it all. - Kevin, let's talk about factor. - Factor. - One of our faves. - Yes. - It is. - I know. - We're not just spokesmen, we are clients of factor. - Hey man. - I got them in the fridge right now. - I know. - We've got our good friends out. - We got some over here too. - We got some over here. I had one for lunch. They're absolutely delicious. You throw it on a microwave. Two minutes is ready to go. Or you're gonna be fancy. Like, kid, you throw it on a skillet. It's a fall, you're busy, you're gonna start picking. You're gonna start making bad choices. Next thing you know, Christmas, you got them water buffalo walking around and like, holy shit, he got big. - You got off the factors. - Who yourself a favorite factor are nutritious. They're delicious. They are fresh, never frozen. Get factor, get your shit together. I'm a fucking losing. - Yeah. The menu rotates every week with 100 plus options. So you're never stuck eating the same thing right now. Try the Mojo Verde wild caught red shrimp with rose beans and corn or Mike's hot honey shrimp and grits What take that and shove it up your ass. I got that one Mike's hot honey shrimp and grits. Oh, that's how that's how factors doing it Let's eat real head to factor meals dot com slash garbage 50 off and use the code garbage 50 off to get 50% off and one free breakfast on per box for one year Hachi machi while supplies last until 10 31 26 that's code garbage 50 off at factor meals dot com garbage 50 off at fact Emails dot com see website for more details. Do it do it I let's see this one's from max long term 10 dollar investor here my wife poured leftover soup in the toilet instead of the trash He insists that it's normal. I'm still thinking about it days later and need a ruling I'm on her side here. I think it's doc. I think it's we've talked about this Yeah, we just dude because in New York, there's no garbage disposal You can't put that liquid in the trash because the trash doesn't it's like goes to a trash room. You got a cat. It's So what we do, I mean we just did a we did the slow cooker over the weekend. Did you? Yeah, I mean that made the house smell nice It was very nice very nice Um nice to have a home and then at the end she was like, what do I do with this? I'm like just fucking plunk it in the toilet. I put worse down there earlier today. What was it? What was what what was what you make just like some chunk of meat. I forget what kind of cut it was yeah Hey with some juices and potatoes. Yeah, yeah, it's exactly what you would put in a slow cooker. Yeah And what do you I you dump in meat? No, just me the meat all fell apart or whatever and then you know, we had to saw enough gravy or whatever gravy enough sauce I'll you if you will. I think that was good. It was really good We've been doing a lot of sit-down dinners the three of us. Is that right? I love that box Love it face turns right What's cute is The baby obviously drops a bunch of food endore throws whatever I scarf it down then take care of him. Mm-hmm, right? I get him out then he walks over the dog and goes go and the dog goes over and eats up the scraps It's like a dog sit there until then the dog up make sure the dog holds usually sit on the table I'll put them under the bed because we don't beg. Okay. We don't beg you put them under the bed No, I'm sorry. He sits under the table. I'll put him in his bed. I'll say go to your go to your place And he'll sit there and wait. I'll sit over there and then the baby gets out walks over to him and goes go and then I'll run over and eat all the Does he get out of the high chair himself? No, I got to get him out You know when he wants out You know It's not up for the bait either. He's not a big negotiator. I like it. Um, yeah, you dumped that right down to turl it. Yeah, 100% Baking grease stuff like that that goes in the sink with some hot water. I'll even toilet I just toilet anything you can't do bacon grease it's the same where what do you think it's going down the fucking it's cold water Don't clog up Like your wax. What do you think you're putting hot water down there? Yeah, hot water to keep it flowing That's the main the main line. What's it's in the city? It's fucking my that's dude. That's not making it to this to the floor beneath here That's not to make it out of the fucking peach wrap. You think I think That's getting the stars not getting back up. That's stopping right there guy Like my arteries. Mm-hmm Also, the water is ever hot as soon as you do it. You gotta let it warm up Who's this fucking guy? Yeah, no shit. I let it eat up right up right now I did the same thing. It's okay, man. It's the safe space. There's no garbage disposal in New York City I know just I mean like all the buildings I gotta be a crazy new building. Yeah, yeah That's like a lot's that in the money and never understood where that went to be honest with you what the garbage and a garbage disposal Where's the jobs that I'm really fine and then it just goes down the pipe? I believe so You might believe my the fucking the Germans were here. They asked me and they never seen that show shit Yeah, they don't got fucking garbage flows in Europe. I mean maybe but not let's go not like that They were like what's what's it? What's it go? I go? I don't fucking know you just flip this with and they don't run They didn't know to run the water. I'm like you got to run the water. Oh Yeah, there's barks of come flying out dude. They're just fucking rolled on And it's her dad and I'm like you guy fucking that you got a lubricate these shit You put some soap down here and let it run No What's it do? Okay, man, this foam's up a little bit Never there's a thing where you put ice down there. That was a get tiktok to rent What do you do down here? And it like melts and I'm like cleans it or shine? I don't fucking know. I think it was all AI You have something uses a spinning metal plate in a stationary grind ring to break down food and time particles Yeah, rather than using sharp blades like a blender and then it just goes I think still fuck you up. You stick your finger down there What's a grind wheel? Spinning metal plate and a stationary grind ring grind ring. I like that. It goddamn grind rings broken You blew out your grindery. What's that cost you? Oh, yeah the garbage disposal when that thing went holy shit My aunt had one. I don't think ours ever went. I think my mom still got Yeah, I mean I got an old I'm out though the one in my the house in the burbs is old Hmm Yeah, garbage disposal. Uh-huh. Just told you a whole story about it. They told me. Oh, yeah I wasn't thinking in your house That means I was thinking the apartment what you just said what you just said doesn't you went. Hey, you know, I'm a guard. I just was uh-huh You doing well Thanks very well. I love you very much. What's that? I love you very much cut that Right that You never loved me. That's not true. It's crazy talk One of the Mario I Can't afford your big guy. I'm sorry. It wasn't good. You who me? The stallion More of a pillow princess fucking bag his skin over here. What are you talking about? It's bad man. I got to get cut I'll be filing out what then what happens when you blow back up which will probably happen that's gonna be a tight You got no faith in I'm not blowing back up. Okay Blow myself up You take your left your shirt off. You got D&T on your stomach. Oh, yeah That Batman that one guy they put in there that's gonna be you We're gonna be doing a hard feeling I mean that's like eating bad ribs. I mean, you don't know you got a bomb in you my stomach hurts You're fucking it. You got a big broken. Oh god damn police station with a bomb in your belly It the hell out of here. That's a ticket at least crazy Fucking moron stomach hurts That's crazy. I Mean, but I'm impist Right sure and you don't have do you have any fear of yo-yo in it all cuz I do I mean a yo-yo He's going back up down and up. Uh I don't know I take it day by day One step at a time slow down Breathe accepting what I'm told to say It's what I'm told to say oh my tummy Jokers anything see how I got these stretch marks I got diesel out in the lounge kippies up today Let's go God I'm like being the butt of the jokes for once. Mm-hmm No, there's no going back. Okay. I'm not I'm not assuming the boats have been burned You're witnessing all of you Just real fucking mad. You haven't doubted me. Huh? Yeah, never I could never bet against the bull Who's the bull? I got you. I don't know. I'm assuming that's one of your corny nicknames you have for yourself with your new group of friends Oh, what's up? I'm H. Foley the bull my boy my good friends call me the bull. You probably do that You're like the new kid and you're like I don't have any friends dickhead Like it wonder why I'm losing friends and finding peace. What a Drake You are you are washed Fucking 50 year old man down and out just starts quoting Drake lyrics Listen to him. Mm-hmm enjoy his music Why don't you listen to a fucking Tony robbins or something or fucking learn how to balance a checkbook or do a chick that going Hey, you got to get your shit together that broad. Oh, Mel. Rob. That's Mel Robbins Tony Robbins the guy with the teeth the fuck does he know? Yeah, you have no teeth. If I was Six eight and he knows how to keep his teeth. I was six eight and good looking. It'd be you have me fucking people of ice too We're looking at this It's the last stand age fully. I ain't going bad a good thing. Is it? Yeah, it is. Okay. This is it Boats have been burned bridges have been burned. Yes, they have - It's a very hard feelings, episode. - Ow, I just heard my pinky. - Yes. - In that first video, I really set us on a path, didn't it? I thought that was kind of good. - Could have been a series of pictures. I could have been. - And then you were yelling about the brightness right away. That didn't put it off on a good, like positive note. - I had a whole thing where she was gonna be behind the door and she wouldn't do it. - And I offered her. - You know your giant amount of money. - I was at a barrow, a large amount of money over her. - You know your jammed up with your mom's screen distance, and he's, no, that seems like a U-project. - She wouldn't be involved in it. - Yeah. - She had some other things going on. - What she bombs publicly, dude. You got a fucking reptop, keep. - Girls with the mermaid club will fucking disown her. - She was of a pinched. - God damn it. - What are you doing, man? - Fucking just hit my finger. - That's my bad finger from wrestling. - Oh, my God. - It is. I fucked it up. - Let's give it a shot. - Yeah, wrestling with your sexuality. You got it from jerk and a dude off. - Man, I'm fucking just taking it. - Just like that gentleman. (laughing) - That was the point. - That was bad. (laughing) - I got a lot. (laughing) - Woo, woo! - All right. - It's stank. - Stank's gonna go down like a lens up to it. - That's what they said. - Dude, I'm aware. - What thing? - What? - The shell? - No. - Shark got that. - Send it to the investors. - What? - We have investors? - Not anymore. (laughing) - Let's get some. - The shell, sell, sell. - That's what they said about Led Zeppelin. This thing was saying like a Led Zeppelin. - What do you think I just randomly came up with that quote? - I don't fucking know, I don't even know Led Zeppelin. You were a rock and roller. - You were a fucking bull. - Over you. - I was in the class. - I was in a band. - So was I. - Yeah. - You still think you are. - I was in the class, Mr. Rooster. I was shot up to him. (laughing) Goal me back, it's on him. - I was guys are calling it. - I swear, I'll pay you back. Venmo, count me at six hundred. - Shoot out to Mr. Rooster. - I was in the classic rock. - Yeah, so was I. Everybody worth their salt when Luke was in the classic rock. - Worth their salt, now where'd you hear that? - From me. (laughing) - You're using my shit. We were leased in this. - Oh, thanks. He need one of these ever once in a while. - What a bad episode. - Yeah. - You can't go up if you don't go down. (laughing) - Beaks and valleys, baby. It's funny. I didn't know you knew that. - I literally, but you don't have to know that I knew it, but I said the quote verbatim and you go, - Who said it? - That's what the engineer or something. - Really? (laughing) - But like, I say the quote and you'd be like, "That's what they said." That's like me going four score in seven years ago. You're like, "That's what Abe Lincoln said." I didn't just stumble upon that. - That was Abe Lincoln. Four score. What the fuck does that even mean? - Scores. - Ten years? Yeah. - Who said that? Abe Lincoln? - I think it was Abe Lincoln, right? Four scores and seven years ago. - What was Dean Martin? - I am not a crook. 20 years, so 87 years. - Four score and what is it, four score? - Seven years. - Yeah, I'm not a big civil war guy. - No, but it's just like the most famous speech ever. - Is that the Gettysburg Address? - Exactly. - Ah. - I don't know if it's a Gettysburg Address. - What you saying? (laughing) - The Gettysburg Address. - You get it? - It's a Peele box. (laughing) - You gotta tie the door to the flower pot. (laughing) - Check the main, where the band's still playing on the Titanic right now. (laughing) - I want Andy to do that. - You guys try to keep up. - I'm gonna be a carbon oxide leak in here. Somebody poke a hole in it for breezecane or something? (laughing) - Yeah, 'cause that joke stinks. - What's happening to me? - You stink. - Ah, God. - I'm losing my superpowers. - Which was what? - I know in everybody. - I still got it. (laughing) - That was weird, dude. - Hey. - That was a bait you did weeks ago, damn it. - There's still a shelter in here. - Fuck it, I'm bringing it. - Okay. - Quit screwing around. - Excuse me. - Excuse you. - Excuse me. - You know what? Nose has been running when I eat a lot. - I think that's up. - I don't know what that means. - I know what it means. - Okay. - The residual side effect. But it's, my dad would get that. Nose would be runaway eight. - I get that every time I have spicy food. - Okay, yeah. - Why not, yes, N? He's agreeing with you. You're a guy who's abandoned by everybody for being a huge dickhead. He throws you a lifeline. 'Cause I ain't giving you one. I can't throw you a lifeline and you fucking, you bite the hand that feeds you. - I'm sorry, buddy. - I like it, it's, yeah. - It feels wrong, that to be a, it's a return to normalcy. - Your salt melt is fine. - You're fucking back, baby. - Oh, I know. - We're not releasing this. - This is going in the vault. - This is a great name. This is from She Crab Poop, $10 to Linkwin. Is it garbage or texture girlfriend to call you and fake an emergency right after you went a big pot at the poker game with your buddies? I need to scratch. That's a common courtesy. You're not allowed to hit and run. - Any scheme like that where people are working together to deceive other people? - I'm down. - Yeah, that's your life. You just get to deal with a partner. - Yeah. - That's the loneliest game and then you finally get a teammate. And that's what you like. - I don't know if I said this on air or not, but I had a fantasy of me and Patty going across country, Robin Banks. - Yeah, we talked about that. - We did, right? - Not on air, I don't think. - Yeah. If I could get her to play along. - Yeah, why not? What the fuck else you got? - I don't know. - We could use the good PR. I mean, you know, we could do that. - We could give the money to poor people. - You. - No, we would throw the money around. Like we drive through like a trailer park and throw the money out. - But then they come and get you on that, don't they? - Like come and get, that's it. - They cap that money. - Who? - The cops. - Or the banks. - They know. - How much money you steal? - No, no, no, they know the serial numbers on it. - I don't know if they have a shit. - Some shit. - Yeah, that's all, yeah, they got you. - And when that guy in Philly dropped the, it was the John Kusak movie. - You remember that guy? - Well, it went nuts. - What went nuts? - He was out of the brinkstruck. - Yeah. - Yeah, Pat's dad knew that guy. - No shit. - Did he kill himself? - Uh huh. - Yeah. Pat's dad's from that neighborhood. Like, yeah, like they was like the, - They said you got to turn the money in or something like that. If he gave you money. - Did he throw it? - Oh, afterwards. You're saying like if you threw it at the trailer park, the trailer park people got to turn it in. - Yeah, I think that's it. - Nobody takes cash. They go and urban out for it. - Sure. - Got big problems. - Yeah. - Big, big, huge problems. - Patty wouldn't do it anymore. - You're being a good wheel, man. She's pretty good behind a car. - Can't do it at night though. She can't see. - Yeah, that happens. Denise got the same thing. I better go getting, you know, getting dark out. I better go. - All right, call me when you get home. Then the bro, don't fucking call me. - Is that her? - That'd be weird. - Oh, it's Luke. - He's fucking shit. It wasn't nice. I'm sure. - This one, this is a big one. This one might get into the questions that we ask. I've never thought about this. It's classy and trashy and weird. This is from Marty. - Great name. Classier trashy. Classier trashy. Offering your buddy basketball shorts to wear when they come over to hang. I come over your house. I got to pair a jeans on. We're gonna sit on the fucking couch and watch the game. Hey, bud, you want to pair a basketball shorts? Let's lounge out. Get comfy. That's not bad. That's not bad. - And I do it. I don't do it a lot, but I've done it a handful of times with like the sponsored gear we get. I'll bring that home. And then if anyone wants it, I'm like, if my buddy's like hanging out, I'm like, oh yeah, where are these? - I liked, I, it's a good time. - And they open it up fresh plastic. That's nice, that's nice. - But if they want it to be comfortable, or if they don't want to wear jeans, why did they wear jeans to your house? - We might have gone out to dinner, get fucked up. My girl's out and I'm like, oh, stay over, whatever. Or before I was like living here. - What's normal? - Yeah, stay on the couch. We can smoke weed all night and watch movies. - Well, yeah, hey, you gotta pair a shorts you can sleep in. I got you on that. - Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you're, hey, I'm coming. I gotta, I gotta take-- - I mean, I love it. - Yeah. - Do you wouldn't, if that-- - Where are your shorts? - Yeah. - I mean, I'd have to fuckin' to put them in the dryer on high heat for about three weeks to shrink them up a bit. - I think I meant to kill the bugs. - Uh, that too? - Get that moisture out. - Yeah, I would, I mean, I think, yeah, you gotta be the same size, you know. - Mm-hmm. - But it's like-- - I mean, I love it. - I, that's what I'm saying. I think it's a great idea. It's trashy to be like-- - A lot of rich people have that though. Like, a member in wedding crashers, they just had clothes for those guys that changed it too. I don't-- - I'm sure that's a little, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a feeling that's different, but yeah, but, I mean, that, yeah, there's weren't N1 basketball shorts for marshals. Hey, yo. - You been lookin' through my luggage? - Yeah. - Oh, this is, yeah. Yeah, I think that's, I like that. I like that, it's fun, it's trashy, but it's like, it's like kitschy or like cute. I don't know, I like it. - Yeah. - Yeah, boy's eight. Like, and throwin' a pair of fucking baseballs. What's fuckin' vibe? - I could just see some people like, "What? No fuckin' wearin' your fuckin' shorts or like, bein' like, what? But you trying to get me to change?" - I mean, not a dirty man. - The grown man changed again. Another grown man's house. I mean, listen, I'm down, I'm a fuckin' nine-year-old. I'm down. I'll build a fort, I'll fuckin' do everything. Make prank phone calls, go play, knock and run, the whole nine yards. - Doctor. Anything, I'm down, but I feel like, I mean, I don't think you're not like-- - I couldn't see a lot of your cousins going over to their boys' house and their boys be like, "Hey, throwin' a pair of shorts." They'd be like, "What?" Am I right or wrong about that? - Yeah, you're right, I don't know, yeah. I mean, I'm not, you're right. I'm not saying it's for everybody. - It's very situationally dependent. - Yeah, like if I was over Pat's house and it's like, you know, I'll plan something and it's like, "Let's watch the game." He'd be like, "You're fuckin' sittin' on me, it's throwin' a pair of fuckin' shorts." - Mm-hmm. - Where do you go? We'll post it up here for the night. Dinner, plans, cancel. I don't fuckin' know, whatever. - I feel like Glastman would be good for that. I think Glastman has nice clean. He's very, you know. - Yeah, I don't see him like lending it out. - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - But that's like somebody's stuff I'd want to wear. But that's where the Iwanna wear something. - Yeah, I'd want to wear, but okay. Well, I'm just going off the word you said. - Shouldn't do that. - I'm a wife learned. - I would wear, that's probably nice and clean, probably comfy. - Probably just real basketball shorts. - See if you made this, you took the situation and made it weirder. - Did I? - By wanting, yeah. Now you want it. - I did stop with the warning. - I just saying that's somebody that you would. - I know, but like, I think that the idea of, I guess the weird, what you're saying. I agree with you. I don't know what you're enjoying a different part than I was thinking of. I was going, oh cool, I'll get out of the jeans. We'll sit and fucking be lazy Sunday or whatever. You're going, well, these are cool. They're clean. You like the vibe and feel of you. - I'd go, Luke, I don't care what kind of shorts are. - What it reminds me of is my brother. - This is him. - And his cool friend. - He made some weird emotional connection to a pair of basketball shorts. - Yeah. - Yeah. Like his boy Keith Cody, I grew up with the coolest guy ever. - What am I fucking chop liver here? - He was wakeless. - You're nuts. - He was, I mean, we gotta wrap it up. - That high school cool. Like, good looking, fucking cool. - I'm sorry. - Well, cool teacher. - Well, cool teacher Cody is like the coolest thing. - So thank you, listen, you know, we, we, listen, I can't, I don't have time for this. I will not be undermined. - Like, when you wanted to wear, like, cool teacher, your brother had. - Does it smell good like him? (laughing) - And it didn't hit me. - All right, we gotta wrap it up. - Gang, we love you to death. Make sure you check out the American garbage, special on YouTube. If you haven't, do a favor, share a friend. It's cooking. Let's keep it cooking. Get tickets to see. - Do you want me to garbage tour? We love you. Kevin, I love you. Luke, I love you. - We'll see you in three days. - Peace.