Trash Rummaging with Rudy

I'm not giving up. I am selling the building. The final season of FX is the Bear. The restaurant is flooded. Everything's either going to be okay. No, stop! Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned, but we have each other. FX is the Bear. The final season. All episodes now streaming on Disney+. Whoa. Me? That's amazing. Who made this? Who made that? Wow. I love that. That's amazing. That's art. That's high art. That's just gross that you're the big one. I've always been the big one. You think you're the boss? Look at me, guy. No, I don't want to look at you. Yeah, yeah, look at me right now. Make me sick. No, look at me right now, guy. This guy made it. Without a Brain Creations. Thank you to this guy for making an incredible piece of art for the show. Thank you. I'm the boss. No, look at me. No. Yeah, you want confrontations right now? I will do confrontations with you because earlier today, I come in here. Okay. I get it. No, finish your- No, I don't want to because did you see the- I saw. You saw, right? I saw. It's called Pause Rage. Prage. Yeah, it's called Prage. I have. And you just did Prage. I don't have any Prage. Yeah, yeah. You had to take a beat to squel, to squalor. All I want to say to you is- Okay, you're the boss. G'day, mate. Good. Good day, mate, to you. G'day, mate, to you. I just got back from Australia, mate. You liked it? It was fun. Did you eat kangaroo? I ate a koala toenail. You have to boil it. How long? For a long time? Two days. Full days? But the toenail's so thick, you got to soften it. Oh, right. It becomes like gelatinous and then you put it on toast. Wow, a little toenail toast. Yeah, toenail toast. What do you think? It's a custom. Would you do that? I would eat it. Yeah. Oh, can I tell you about your eating habits, by the way? Please. If I may. Yeah, please. Yeah. I realized Pog Pog is a part of their nature. What is Pog Pog? What you were eating today. What? You'll look in the fridge and you'll find the oldest thing in the fridge and you'll go, I'll eat that. Ah, leftover food salvaged from restaurant or fast food garbage dumps and recooked for consumption. Pog Pog. Pog Pog. That's not your word? Yes, it is. Is it a tag along term? Pog Pog. Pog Pog Pog. It just means- That's what it is. It's trash rummaging. Yeah, it's trash rummaging. They deep fry it. I got to be honest with you. Yeah. That bag, right? Look, zoom in. That looks like chin chin. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. A you two or something. We're bad friends. Caribbean blue is what I call it. Enya. Yeah. Love that song. Dude, Enya? She lives in a castle with cats. You know that? She lives in a castle. Yeah. Oh, Caribbean blue. Let me tell you something. It's too late. It's too late, dude. When I'm in the grocery store and Enya comes on- It's the song. Orinoco- Orinoco-loco-flo. What's it called? Orinoco-flo. It's called Orinoco-flo, right? It's always on at the grocery store. You know about Orinoco-flo? Oh, yeah, you do. It's a classic new age centerpiece. We have to play it for a second. We can't use it. Orinoco-flo. It's one of the greatest- It's one of the greatest- It's the quintessential new age song- New age song. Of that decade. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. What do I need? Peanut butter? Toothpaste? I'm at the grocery store and I'm really feeling it. Glow dust. Glow dust. Oh. Ay, ay, ay, ay. Orinoco-flo. Orinoco-flo. Chocoloco-flo. Chocoloco-flo. Chocoloco-flo. Chocoloco-flo. Here it is. Ready? Da, da. I wrote this. I went to the- No, I went to the castle. I wrote this part. Do you remember? Yeah, I do. That summer. I do, and that's summer. I went through the window. I went, da, da, da. Do you remember that? Da, da, da. And she's like, what are you doing? I go, that'd be the next section of the song. Orinoco-noco-flo. Here it goes. Yeah, here we go. Sail away, sail away, sail away. Because you have to. Get out of here with your boat. No, stay. Please stay. All right. Drop your anchor. Sorry, I was in the moment. Orinoco-flo. By the way, the fact she didn't call it sail away is hilarious. Call it sail away. Call it sail away, Enya. It's obviously sail away. I'll just say musicality. Orinoco-flo. Orinoco-flo. What is that? Orinoco-flo. Let me try that. Orinoco-flo. I'm really- I'm really- I'm really- I'm doing the L.A. version. Orinoco-flo. I can't roll my R's. Hey, player, is that the Orinoco? You got any Orinoco on that? Hey, puto, you got some Orinoco over there. Hey, player, you got Orinoco? Hey, bro, I ran out. I had two pints earlier, bro. Orinoco is a major river in- Go to the liquor store. Get me some fucking Orinoco-flo. Hey, dog, I'm trying to mix my Orinoco. Orinoco-flo, bro. It's a major river in northern South America. So it's way up north there in Colombia, on the border of Colombia. Yeah. Orinoco-flo. Orinoco-flo. Now you make it Asian. Orinoco-flo. Orinoco-flo. There's got to be an Orinoco over there. Yeah. But anyway, Enya was a very good- She lives in a castle. You don't know anything about her? You've never heard of Enya in your life? She lives in a castle currently. That's where she bought a castle to live in. That's where she lived. I mean, listen to her. Of course she lives in a fucking castle. She's not going to live in a condo off Barham. Dude, there's not a castle on planet Earth that doesn't have Orinoco-flo. It's got to. It's built into the- It's built into the fucking castle. It's the fabric of a castle. Right. You turn on the faucet, it flows, and it's pure Orinoco. It's all been Orinoco. Is it not pure Orinoco? Pure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd be delighted to know that the castle in one of our bathrooms, the shower has Orinoco-flo right out of it. On an Airbnb. I love it. Orinoco-flo. Yeah. She has other songs, too. No, not really. Yeah, yeah. You went into the Lord of the Rings? Yeah. Maybe she knows. They all kind of sound the same. Yes. That's the best part about Enya, is I used to fall asleep to her on a plane. May it be an Easter. Enya. I like this one. You better know this song. You better like it. Yeah. Right? This is post-Orinoco-flo. Right? Look at this. Whimsical fantasy. Is that Liv Tyler? Liv Tyler is my favorite Tyler. Okay. Not your favorite Tyler? Steven? Liv. Liv. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, it's Liv. I like Die. Die Tyler. Oh, you like Die Tyler? Die Tyler is my favorite. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. The son. There's a Die Tyler? No, brother. I don't know the family history. It's Liv Tyler. Die Tyler. Did you not catch that? Yeah, I do. Sit down. That's too crafty. I just want to say this, okay? Sometimes your jokes. Go over your head. No. They become. What's that place called? Typewriter? The place where they do comedy in the East Side? Dynasty Typewriter. Dynasty Typewriter. They become East Side. Yeah, they're very East Side. Cool. That's a compliment. Yeah, it's cool. Hipster. It's hip. It's hip. Yeah. It's hip. It's very hip. Anyway, I'm going to. I want to show you something to just. Because you know. Look, first of all, I want to say thank you to the Korean community for embracing me, accepting me. When I go to a Korean restaurant without Bobby, they warmly welcome me with open arms. They sure do. And it's one of the most generous things in the Korean community. Pure generosity. And I want to show my love and support for Korea. South Korea, once again, proving how talented and cool they are. This is how they fucking train. I saw this. The light bar. This is how the guards train. I saw this, yeah. In that wave pool. Look at that. I saw it. I mean, you're dead. Every other human is dead except for this cool South Korean who just. And then pops up on the ladder. I have an argument. Watch how fast he climbs. I have an argument. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. I have an argument. What? Put a baby. Put a baby in there, too. Save the baby. That's just him swimming across. Put a baby in there. There's no training in here. There's no training. He's supposed to be saving people. Put a spinal bifida. Oh. You know what I mean? Right. Put a crooked spine baby in that water if we really want. Something. Something different. Right. So this doesn't prove. It doesn't prove anything because I can make a cross at. The fuck you can. Yes, I can. I can. The fuck. I tried it. It took me three weeks. Bobby? I got in. Three weeks later, I got to the other side. And then you need a rescue. You can't even swim in your own pool of coffee and t-shirts. This guy's swimming in tides that would kill any regular person. That would kill a regular person. In a swimming pool. Controlled environment. That would. You'd die in there. I bet my bank account you'd die in there. There's lifeguards. They're going to save me. The whole point is there's. No. There's no lifeguards there. He's the guy. It's lifeguard training. He's the guy that would save you. He's in the water. That's their coastguards. Okay. Not their lifeguards. Their coastguards. Okay. Anyway. You could make it across? Shout out. No! This is unbe. I don't think you understand. This is unbelievably hard. This is so fucking difficult what he's doing. Okay. I'll tell you what I would survive in. Anyway, shout out South Korea. Shout out South Korea. No, you don't get to do it. I said it. I want to. Shout out. Why don't you tell me some tales of Australia is what I'm interested in. You barely spoke to me. You never answered multiple texts. Oh my God. You want to get into it? Yeah, go ahead. I don't want to get into it. I'd rather you do. Okay. How was the tour with Carlos? Oh, I have my. Three issues. Hold on a second. Let's go to your text. I also called you many times. We have evidence, if you may. Sure, we have evidence. Do the call log. Bring up your call log. How many times I called you? No, I'm going to just go to the text, please. There we go. This is good. He'd be a good lawyer. He's only angling for things that prove his case, correct? Okay, August 13th. Here we go. Talk to your team. This is partners. No, that's not what he said. No, this is it. I'm so mad at you, it's unreal. Maybe we quit the pod. Is what you said on August 13th. Yeah. Then I go, what happened? Going to bed. I was going to bed. Right, right. And I go, you can't talk for one minute? And then you don't text me back for four more days. That's right. Yeah, yeah. So how do I respond to that? Hey, man, is everything okay? What can I do? And then you continue to reach out to me. Oh, excuse me? Then you would continue to reach out to me. You stopped. I'm with Bobby on this one. What? Yes! Yes! Finally, dude! A lot of people are on my side on this one. No, they're not, because if they know the true story, which we can't fucking tell on the show, they'd be on my fucking team. So good job, Fancy. Good job, Fance. You want to drum up some shit? You want to drum. But that's what I love about you. You know the thing we talked about before the show? Gone. Enjoy the ride. And what I meant was absolutely Andrew's right. You fucking sell out. This kid will jump so fast. Oh, he's a weasel. He's a weasel! He's a weasel, dude. You're one of the. So I was mad. So I have some angers toward Carlos. Of course, it's natural. It's natural. Your hair looks good. Thank you. Thank you. Tell me what's going on. What was the big gripe? So one. Just throw it out there. I was around the corner from him. He didn't know I was listening. He was talking shit about you? And he was talking to somebody. Who? I don't know who it was. May I finish? Sure. See, already. Do you see what he's doing? Already the attitude. Do you see attitude? No. No. Okay. Let's hear. Thank you. He goes, oh, yeah? He's on the phone. He goes, fuck you, bitch. Oh. And you hung up. No, no, no. And then I went around the corner. I'm not done. And I looked at him, right? It's your dog sitter. Be nice. I know. And I said to him, don't talk to people like that. He doesn't say that. What do I say? You didn't say that. You were like, what are you doing talking like that? Well, who are you talking to? I had. What's the difference? I was trying to make a dinner reservation for you, and it was some Asian lady who could barely hear me. And then I hung up, and I went, fuck you, bitch, because I didn't want to say it to her over the phone. I just said it to her after I pressed the button. That's a tough one. It's tough? Tough water. I'm good, Bobby. I think you're with me again. Yeah, everybody's with you on this. Yeah, yeah. That's out of pocket, brother. That's crazy. You said F you, bitch, to her? No, to my phone that had no one on it. Oh, my God. I thought you said it to the woman. No. That's insane. No, that literally is what happened. Did you hang up on her? Then I hear him hang up, and then his excuse was, no, I had hung up earlier. How do you hear someone hang up? I hear taps. No. That's what the audio is for. He does have good AV. Dude, I have really good AV. He's one of the best AVs in the game right now. Dude, you want to talk about fucking. You don't know about his AV, brother. There's no V. What? You just have V, not A. You want to talk about Deadpool fucking symbiosis? Yeah, get it out. I should be allowed to have a. My point is that because you're so sensitive about cursing. I'm Daredevil, dude. I hear everything. He doesn't want you cussing at someone because you're representing him. Exactly. Bingo. He's afraid that someone's going to go, Bobby's tour manager called. Yeah, which is exactly why I hung up. Oh, so you did hang up? Of course I did. Okay. Well, he's saying it. You don't believe it? I'm not done. Okay. It's okay. I already advanced the rest of your show, so I get paid no matter what. Yeah, he does have access to the accounts. Some good meals. Some really good meals. Did I suggest you guys in Melbourne? Did you go to Cookie or any of those spots? I sent you a bunch of spots. I don't know. No, he doesn't take. What Carlos does, and it's an interesting way of tour managing, if I may. Please. Can I make. His style, and it's really old school. You may. So we show up at a spot, right? He forgets. Right. He frantically Googles things. Wait, what. I'm not done. I'm done. You'll go to Yelp. Oh, I got three stars. Oh. Right? We'll show up at a place, and it's one of the worst restaurants we've ever been to. But you know historically, and we've talked about it on this show, whenever I give. I'm going to hire somebody outside of him. Whenever I give food recommendations, you always say I've never led you astray. You've not only. Dude. We went to Pellegrino. Lawyers, guns, and money. Yes. I remember. You went to Pellegrino 2000. Twice. And that was very good. That's not his choice. That was your choice. That was my choice. In Sydney. That is true. That was my choice. Yeah, so I'm not giving him the fucking chance. So did you get to any of the places I suggested in Melbourne to take him to? No. Oh. Why? Because I had already made reservations three months ago. For other places that aren't good. I don't Google what's bad in Melbourne. I want to take my shitty partner. No, you. No, you. You ask him. He knows. Too many moving parts. I got to just do it on my own. Anyway, we went to a fusion place. Oh, yeah. He hates fusion. The Asian. Did you think it was good? No, I didn't like it. Wait, what city was that in? Do you remember? Do you remember? I don't remember. It could have been Calcutta. It doesn't even matter. Is that in Australia? Yeah, that's how bad the food was. I took him to a nice Indian place and because it wasn't in Calcutta. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's another. Can I just say another thing? You didn't go to stalactites? You're going to make me so mad. You're going to make me so mad right now, dude. Yeah, just focus only on the negative, not all the good food you had. Fucking bitch ass. Holy shit, dude. It's crazy to come at me. I want to say one thing. When Carlos arrived today, he said, like, I'm going to be so nice to Bobby. So that went right out the fucking window. Well, you lasted about, what, 15 minutes? Yeah, I had blue chew. Oh, you're chewed up. Bob, you were fucked up to me and yeah. Well, how can we rectify it? How do we make this better? One bullet each. He asked me at breakfast what I would do if he killed my dad and then he got mad at me when I said I would shoot him in the head. Why are you killing his father? Why would I say that? Why would you say that? I don't know anything about that. That's real crazy. I love his dad. Yeah, he's a very nice people, his parents. He's a surgeon. Yeah. That has nothing to do with him being, him. I had osteoporosis. He fucking surgery done. Oh, he did? He helped you? Yeah, on osteoporosis. Okay. Well, let's rectify this. This Australian tour I heard was good from afar. It was very good and we had a really good time and me and Carlos had some good moments. We did. I just feel like I was treated unfairly for two bad restaurants out of the many that I took you to because we weren't just there. We were there for two days. Just take Andrew's suggestion. All right, I'll make a good suggestion if we want to move off of it. I had probably the best cheesesteak I've had in Los Angeles. This is what I'm talking about. Tell me what it is. It's called Sonny's. It's on Sunset. They're a pizza joint but they do a Wagyu cheesesteak they're known for. It's Wagyu beef. It was very expensive but remarkably worth it. I ate the whole fucking thing. Standing there, it was delicious. It's on Sunset. That's it, Sonny's. And they do pies. Pies only. No slices. Which I respect. I like that. Haven't had the pizza yet but click on the Wagyu cheesesteak. Oh my God. If you just Google Sonny's Wagyu cheesesteak. Is that it? That dried piece of. That's not it. That's not it. No, but they've got. Look at how bad that sandwich looks. No, look at. It's like gravy. No, look at the. Look, zoom in. Oh, is it delicious? It's garn. That's cheeses all over. It's garnered as one of the best cheesesteaks in LA. I gotta tell you. I gotta try it. Big, big, big fan. Big, big, big fan. Big fan. And also the sesame seeds on the bun. That looks like Puck Puck. It's phenomenal. I'm not gonna lie. Didn't need it. It's so good. Didn't need that Puck callback. I did. I liked it. Puck Puck? Yeah, yeah. Puck Puck. What's been going on with you, Puck Puck? I started school this week. Ugh. I know. Late night classes. How many years are you gonna be in school? Aren't you 30? Until I guess I get another visa. Okay. How old are you now? 23? 24, turning 25. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wow. 25 soon? How does it feel? Tell me about the whispers of a 25-year-old. No whispers. At night? There's no whispers at night? They said after 25 your knees start to hurt. Now shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You don't know pain. Insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything hurts on my body. You don't know anything. You don't know nothing about pain, bitch. That's what they said. Well, stop eating 50-week-old eggs and you might not have so much pain in your legs. Yeah, exactly, dude. Once you turn 25, your body enters a subtle state of biological aging where cellular repair metabolism, collagen production slowly begin to gradually slow down. But it's slowing down. It doesn't stop. His is done. Yeah. It's a dead end. It's over. Dude, I'm dying. Look at me right now. Look at him. I just. Look at. That's right. That's it. He's dying. You still look young, though. That's really nice to say. I look pretty good. You look good, yeah, for your age. Shut the fuck up. No, you do. You look good. You're a piece of shit. Well, for a. Go ahead. Do the slam. I deserve it. No, you look fat. Yellow. So, McCone. So, tomorrow, we're going to watch The Odyssey. But McCone has a review of The Odyssey. Tell us about it. Oh, all right. I give it an 8 out of 10. I thought it was pretty good, but I liked how much weirder Oppenheimer was. I also thought shooting on IMAX exclusively kind of backed him into a couple of corners where it probably would have been better if he shot some of the dialogue scenes with a regular camera. But it was good. And I was glad to see that Universal CityWalk on 70mm IMAX. Where are we going tomorrow? Regal. Where's Regal? Downtown. That's 70mm. 70 mil. IMAX. IMAX. And we have good seats? No. Not yet. We do. Okay. We bought goods. We're not like neck craned. No, no, no. I can't. I won't do that. I can't wait. Who's buying snacks? I'll buy all snacks. Can we list the snacks already? Yeah. Let's list it now. I'm dreaming about it. Yeah. Yeah. Biggest bucket. Give me a Home Depot bucket of popcorn. The biggest bucket of popcorn they got. I've been doing dry butter. No butter this time. No butter. You want to do that again? Dry butter? Not dry butter. No butter. Oh. You're doing no butter on the popcorn? Yeah. It's too much. Because it already has butter on it. I break everything. There's just so much butter. It's the kind of butter it is. It's oil. You're going to be pleasantly surprised. On how you mix it? I've never put butter on popcorn. Yeah. No. At the theater. And no seasoning? No, no. I put the shaker on. Let's go to candies. Do you know why I don't eat butter on popcorn at the theater? No. Warby Parker. Warby Parker. I'm here to tell you about Warby Parker. My wife loves these. I love the sunglasses. My wife has prescription lenses. They were able to take whatever frame she chose and pop in those because she can't see anything without them. I love their sunglasses. I own many, many a pair. And they're fantastic. 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Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. I'm not giving up. The final season of FX is the best. The best. The best. The best. The best. of fx is the bear the restaurant is flooded everything's either gonna be okay or not we are outgunned and we are outmanned but we have each other fx is the bear the final season all episodes now streaming on disney plus i've told you this story freshman year of college i got the worst food poisoning i've ever had in my entire fucking life and they chalked it up we did the math me and my buddy colin were pissing and shitting puking for two full days straight and our buddy colorado john who got stoned with us and went to the movie with us was totally fine the next day for finals and we ate the exact same meals except john didn't eat popcorn he just had reese's pieces and me and colin shared the popcorn and the doctor goes that's it dude i go what he goes it's rotten butter you guys put rotted butter from that hot bacteria container all over i was sicker than i've ever been i've never put butter on popcorn since that day never jello pudding pops is my thing what did cosby do to you no no it had nothing to do with them what do you mean i was in middle school and i had one jello pudding pop and it gave me diarrhea a jello pudding pop yeah it's even it's there's nothing in there i know that's the mystery is that what gave me diarrhea i don't know but i think it is because i've never had a jello pudding pop i haven't had a jello pudding back maybe it was bill cosby on the cover yeah that could have freaked me out imagine he was trying to drug you through jello pudding pops and it just didn't work yeah can you imagine this guy was the spokesman for jello i know i can't believe it and why do they have him those by the way those pops have you ever had a jello pudding pop they're so good i ate a thousand of those as a kid i can't eat those things you don't remember those i never had did they not have those in españa yellow yellow pudding pop who's the spokesperson now kevin spacey i was waiting i was i mean he stinks fuck him yeah fuck that guy he stinks also he was such a judge you know what's so funny a clip popped up of him talking shit to wanda sykes do you remember that during the award show i remember that and when he's like yeah and on my show we spoke english yeah do you remember you guys don't remember this i remember that fucking clip he was because he doesn't like ebonics he doesn't like you know um people that he goes no sagging your pants you remember that he was like pull your pants up give me the clips he was wearing sunglasses i remember yes there it is yeah watch what an asshole this guy is i love her that's a party stopper yeah bro what a dick that's a party stopper do you know who bill cosby was was he really funny i have to say bill cosby himself that's special is one of the funniest specials ever made no not gonna get on any of that that's not he's a piece of shit he's a piece of shit i'm saying outside the art i don't give a fuck about himself okay fuck him for the rest of fucking time what's your favorite uh candy at the movie theater this is a good debate because we've talked about this before but i've changed my taste buds have changed because i almost exclusively used to be a bunch of crunches and i've changed my taste buds because i almost exclusively used to be a bunch of crunches i'm gonna tell you i'm really getting into them sour patch kids pal you are paul i love sour patch kids and i also give me the harry bows give me the little peach harry bows you know what you can give me what red vines keep them that's so boring they're so boring thank you you keep the fucking honey sour situation then okay i didn't say honey sour whatever that is i didn't ever say honey sour whatever the honey sour i said sour patch kids i don't want that either everybody likes sour patch kids fuck you raise your hand if you like sour patch kids every time i everybody likes i mention a fucking red vine sucks the only thing that's good is because why do people buy them because they feel bad for the licorice industry big licorice is pushing it like crazy i'm buying some tomorrow you're having i'm throwing them away i'm not kidding when you give them to me i'm throwing them your popcorn onto the ground that's where it belongs i eat the popcorn off the ground in the movie theater all right zoom in let's see what we got what do we got we have a list of the of the regal uh the lineup but i'll give you this look at me i'll give you this red vines is way better than twizzlers obviously that's what we got tomorrow thank you but twizzlers nibs are better than all of them zoom in what would you call me what the fuck did you call me dude junior mints waste of time bunch of crunches of yes m&ms i'll do peanut or peanut butter regular m&ms aren't even real anymore the kit kat minis are very very good reese's pieces there's your red vines nerd clusters nerd clusters are huge yeah and here we go zoom in right there they only have two kinds of sour patch that is not okay you've got to have more than just watermelon on the green one underneath what does that say twizzlers all american fashion that'll never go out of style you said you like red vines oh that's not it those are two completely they're they're the same thing but they're two different companies i like that kind of texture you know why starburst didn't win this game are they still individually packaged for the rest of the game i don't know i don't know i don't know are they still individually packaged in that package that's such a fool's game all right hot dog corn dog what else any side chicken tenders what do they have there we're going to see a movie we're not hey you shut the fuck up we're going to eat food are we going to the magic johnson theater i went once we're gonna go see philadelphia so you saw it dude yeah magic johnson i know philadelphia it's about a month away from us come on i like it is this bouncing all over your head what's your problem right now dude you you what do you mean catch up the aids thing i got you said is that where i saw it is that where i saw philadelphia is that do you think that's where i saw it and when i say ketchup you say buster where are you today can i tell you why what because you know that theater that has the uh the wind and uh what's it called yeah so if it was at right if you saw philadelphia at the magic johnson theater they throw needles at you throw aids at you like when he's sick dude a spray he coughs and you feel it and you mix it with what do you call a pepper spray so it burns a bit you're in the theater hey everybody welcome to the magic johnson theater here in south central los angeles this is a fully immersive show just so you know please enjoy the film 127 running minutes yeah yeah exits are here here and you're all gonna get aids it's terrible dude you all right zoom down okay wait go back to hot food bob okay so we have to get churros oh oh do they have orinoco there oh they got the flow call back they have flow nathan's hot dog and fries might be good you know what we should do at baseball games they do a nine nine nine beers nine hot dogs and nine innings can we do nine nathan hot dogs nine coca-colas throughout the course of the film do you think you need nine dogs i don't want to let's try let's do that anyway i can't wait to see your opinion about it i'm excited to not go if you don't go there's gonna be problems name them yeah i shall double dog dare you i double dog dare you right now i'm gonna tell you what they are right now right number one i'll be very disappointed in you okay dude welcome oh yeah welcome to feeling oh you want to get into feelings and i know what you're doing right now you're searching for something else to say no i'm not yeah when i get emotional i use my hands and i use vocal inflection hip-hop bob is about to come out yo what's up big boy big daddy in the house of course i'm gonna go i'm very excited cleared my day i can't wait i'm very excited to go see it with the family i'm gonna lie to you i was over there waiting for you guys and no one showed up i saw you waiting andrew's gonna be right on time and if he doesn't make the first five minutes of the movie he's gonna stress bob out is this the theater who you because the first five it's confusing you got to get in the first five minutes of the movie you can't miss the beginning you can't miss this because you're welcome there's 20 minutes of commercial so we're good the oldest story ever told he really doesn't know anything about it three thousand years of spoilers the joke he got mad at you it's a callback callback fancy's always a little more whimsical outside of the studio he dances let me tell you something to make you happy i was reading the comments about your haircut and everybody thinks that you look very handsome and young that's it there's no pun pun intended This is our last movie together. This is our first movie together. I know. I know it is. What about Andrew? Andrew loves Crunchabunch. One for him, one for me. Do you want one? Crunchabunch? I'll take a Crunchabunch. Crunchabunch. A bunch of Crunchabunch. We're getting a bunch of Crunchabunch. If he does, I'm done. We're done. Bad Friends is over today. Might be the last episode. Because I've already seen it. We've all already seen it. Oh, it's real good. Let's go, dude. It's like when I beat him in Uno. By the way, which I did twice. Let's go. They were fair games. Bye. I just showed you, right? Nothing. Okay, good. Just a die. What number is it? Fancy's got it. What's the number? G13 to G20. G13 to G20. I can't believe you're here. I barely fucking made it. Why? I have something else to do. There's just one. Fancy got me a bunch of my favorite sour patches. And popcorn without butter. Unlike the. Without butter. Without butter. Butter. I slept through almost every single scene. I slept. I was so tired. I woke up just for the very first. You know what? Forget it. I woke up at the very end. Forget it. Forget it. We're never doing this again. It's a waste of money, time, love, anything. Fuck you. Fuck you. You know, actually, I was awake the whole time. You know who wasn't awake the whole time? I know. He fell asleep. It was good. I only had one problem with it. I mean, Helen. You know who it was. The casting. I know who it was. There is an agent, man. Yeah. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. You're the agent. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. You know who it was? Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to hear it. Look, look, look. See? Pretty good. Yeah. They could have easily cut out an hour. No. 100%. There's moments that are-- No, I loved it. This is you in the end. That's 100. You lay down. The first one who did that. Yeah. You'd be the first guy to lay down. No, no, no. I'll be the last guy to do it. You'd be the first guy. Everyone was doing it. I was like, all right. No, you would do it right away. You'd do it right away. I hopped really hard. I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it right away. No. I hopped really-- the way they designed them, it's like a crooked nose. You mean that's a real guy? That's not a real guy? No. That's a door guy at the Comedy Store. I've seen that kid before. Door, car, agent. I feel like I've seen that guy before at the Comedy Store. I think he parked my car last night. What do you think of Robert Pattinson? I love to watch him die. I want-- I-- I love that. I turned to Fancy, and I went, fuck yeah. When he was like, just-- I want-- you want us all to die? Just you. Oh, bro. Damon! Damon's the god. He's an evil ritual. Yeah, he's-- and he's like-- and he's a pussy. I love that he's like such a weakling, and he's commanding everyone to do his deed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was so great, dude. Wait a minute. What? I was pointing at that. Pussy weakling. Yeah, you're the Robert Pattinson. You're that character. Not the actor. You're the actor. That type of person. Not-- yeah. I'll take it. I am Odysseus. Brother. No chance. You're an actor. You're an actor. No, you're not. Odysseus would never sit like this. Dude, look, look. Watch. Watch. Can you imagine? You, two rows, and you'd be like, ah. He'd be like, don't do it. Don't do it. I'm so strong. I'm home. Like, two. What? Home. I'll tell you what would happen. You-- you for sure-- you for sure would go into the whirlpool. You'd be like, let's go in. Right straight there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the bow and go right there you know how he did that how he did what the whirlpool cgi he took this is true he took um water jet skis and he made the circles that's enhanced for sure yeah so the reason why you got going i know it's a conference but he did it so that he gives the actors reference why though and he filled out the sentence i mean how did he do that one with a six oh yeah how do you do the uh the the the body was there in the philippines they didn't have any light on there was no light and uh video quality was not very good so this is in 70 millimeters she played like six parts of the philippine version they do it live did you play odyssey but you've never seen it did you like it or not i really liked it i wasn't bored at all all the way you liked three hours you don't you're not bored of it okay and then also this all this hype oh my god this hype about travis scott yeah unbelievably useless character could have been literally anybody no no no he did it because he's a poet he's a poet that could have been literally any book can you sing any travis scott songs no it's like and then in temple and then the people come in and I think Grandpa would have won it down. That's him. You know that's him? That's him. You know that's him. That could have been anybody. Oh, a lot of it. So is Mia Goth. A lot of the roles could have been like, oh, anyone could be this. What did I say? That Mia Goth girl. I go, could have been anybody. Yeah. Where are her eyebrows? Where are they? My dad. I hear my dad. What's wrong with you, dude? I'm telling you. Matt Damon, first of all. Matt, that is a masterpiece. Matt Damon. He was so good. Home run. So good. Even Pattinson. So good. Tom Holland. Yeah, yeah. Not good, dude. Not good. It's true. She agreed. Everyone agrees. Anne Hathaway. Yeah. She's incredible. She's incredible. Also, couldn't have been done by a lot of good actors. Leggo Zamo. Should win. Should win. I'll tell you the most. They won't give it to Matt. They'll give it to Damon. Because it's Matt's film. Underwhelming. Underwhelming. I'll tell you. Charlize Theron's character. Yeah. Well, let's be honest. A little underwhelming. She kind of, she like strapped him as a sex slave and fed him lotuses. Was she just, she's. That's like it? She's just seen them. I know, but I'm saying. No, but it doesn't tell. It just is like a, it's a speed bump in his life where you're like. She's just not, she's not. No, she's a good actress, but that chunk of time is a little meaningless to me. It just spent more time away from his kingdom, but she also, I wish she like fucked with his head or did something like, I wish she physically did something to him instead of just feeding him. He combined both. There's two different stories going on, right? There's the load. There's a group of people. Yeah, yeah. The Lotus. I know. And then. The Lotus Flower Eaters, right? And her and they, he somehow combined with the two. No, it's good. She kept him, she kept him at, she kept him subdued so she could use him for whatever she wanted. I forgot about that. For a patio. No. No, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Give him a fucking kiss. No, no, no. I'm like, why is that a big deal? Because like. Not, you know. They were actually not for you. Those pants. For both of us. For our pantry. For our pantry. You gave me these. Carlos asked for those specifically and you stole them. All right, you can have them. Take them off. Carlos, those were your pants. Andrew, you're a nice guy, man. Those are for you. Those aren't your pants. Okay, don't take them off right now. What? Don't take them off. Why not? Because my girlfriend's here. So what? Oh, jealous? Oh, yeah. What is. Let me see his. Yeah. Don't take it off. It's illegal. But those do fit nice. You should give them to Carlos. No, his butt looks good. His butt looks good. Ugh. Sorry. Sorry about this. Yeah. Are you guys going to Pizzeria Bianca or no? Yeah, we're going to Pizzeria Bianca. We're going to Pizzeria Bianca. Now he's walking off his fart. But you do have to walk it off because it trails. He's 55 years old. And he farted in front of his girlfriend and his family. OCD. 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If we're in the food world and we're moving away from the movie theater, it's about time. I know I've waited long enough. We finally bought an air fryer. We did. Oh my God. How is it? It's amazing, is it not? I mean, they are life-changing. I guess I didn't know what I was doing. What are you frying up out? You can do literally anything. I know I have an air fryer. Okay, but. Are you using it? No, but I've fried some things up in my life. What have you fried in it? Chicken tenders. Chicken in it is phenomenal. That's it. That's all you've done? Yeah, but it's so good. I put a little seasoning on it. Have you ever put bacon in the air fryer? It's remarkable. What does it do? It's perfect. It's exactly how I like it. I don't even know how they. Is someone in there? Yeah. I open it up. I go, is somebody in there? Yeah. I want somebody to go, yeah. Keebler. We're here. Keebler Elf. Just one little elf. Yeah. We're here. The tree was crowded. Imagine. I'm not done. Oh, sorry. The tree was crowded and the fudge stripes. I'm done with that lifestyle. I think you were. Yeah, that's good. That's a good finish, right? And you got it out. You stuck the. I got it out. Yeah, you did. I did. Yeah, yeah. Hey, what's the biggest thing you've snuck into a movie theater back when you used to sneak in food and stuff? Weed. Weed. You can't smoke in the movie theater? Yeah, you can. Oh, pig. Let's associate the junkie with the film. If you did bring. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man. If you brought in fentanyl, what movie. I'll tell you what movie I saw. What? See if I saw it. Ready? What? Hey, man. I just saw Wuthering Heights, man. What. Wuthering Heights. What drug are you on? What? All of them. Now, should we try the bit again? Yeah, do it again. Do it again. Hey, man. Hey, man. I just got out of. Oh, Wuthering Heights. Oh, what drug are you on? Ain't no drugs. Funny. Zero for two, bud. Is that good? No. Damn it. Not even a foul tip. That's not even a foul tip? That's. Give me another one. Right down the heart. Give me another one. Hey, man. Is it that? I think it's. I think it's you. I'm off today. No, you're on. You're throwing yourself with the A-man. Don't do the A. Oh, that's a problem. That's what I'm saying. Oh, so don't do it. Because that character doesn't know. The yo. The yo. Is that better? Yeah. Yo, what's up? What movie did you go see? Wuthering Heights. What? Are you on something? Yeah, I am, my friend. PCP. Oh. Yeah, I ran through the wall. I didn't even pay for it. You did? Yeah. Well, you're under arrest. Look at that hole. You're under arrest. Why, man? See? The man. Yeah, all right. It was really good. I liked it. See, every choice I make today is not good. No, no, no. I liked it. The gang liked it. Did you like it? - The gang liked it. - Yeah. Are we good now or what? - You and me? - Yeah, I think it was a lot. - We were just around each other. - A lot, yeah. - I think it was, I got it from both sides. I heard both sides of the story. - Yeah. - From both sides of the story. - Well, you know, you live your life. - Maybe international's not for you. - I don't think it is, but I turned 55 in Hawaii. Unfortunately, you're not gonna be there. - I wish I could be there, I'll be in Atlanta. - Adam will be there. - Adam Egott? - Hey. - Oh. - He's there playing the blue note. - Oh, he is? In Honolulu? - Yeah. - And you're gonna be, but you're playing a theater there, right? - Yeah. - It's same area? - Yeah. - Same night? - No, he's there a couple of days earlier before a show and I'm there, the night before I leave, he'll be here. - Oh, that's awesome. - We can have dinner. - I just saw his wife with you, they're preggo wego, they're gonna have a little baby. - I'm very happy for him. - Are you? Do you want a baby? - Yeah. - You want me to give you a baby? - You'll give me one? - You wanna make a baby? - Of a baby? You make of a baby with me? - You have a baby, this fucking kid. - I know, but she's ungrateful. - Oh my God. - You're not? - He's sweet to, I think, Lila's baby. - Yeah, I've heard of you. - I don't know how many times I've had to talk about that. - That's fine, move out. - Let's move out. - No, move out. I'm saying move out. You have to move out. - You're happy to live with me as long as you want. - Yeah. - That's beautiful. - He's happy that my mom is back though. - Yeah, she's back. - So she's coming tomorrow. - Yeah. - Maybe she'll be my date to the movies. - The deep cleaning on your mother. - 'Cause your mom still has a crush on me? - Yeah. - Awesome. - No, she doesn't. - Yeah, she does, dude. She said it on this show. - I think she does. - Yeah, dude, the fans shipped us. They want us to be together. - Can you imagine her rubbing her? - We're gonna blow up our lives and be together. What? - For some reason, she likes your arms. She keeps saying about your arms. - I'm a big fan of her mom. She's coming to the movie theater. Make sure we sit together. - She's the best. - She's the best, yeah. - So she's gonna come with us tomorrow. You're gonna be there. - Yeah. - Have you already seen the movie? - No. - Oh, so me and her are the only ones that haven't seen it. I haven't seen you in a long time. - I know. - You've been gone. I've been missing you in the Comedy Store. I've been missing you. Everyone's asking about you. Where's Bob? - Yeah, I'm not doing that anymore. - You're not going to the Comedy Store anymore? - No. - What does that even mean? - What does it sound like? - It sounds like a lie. I know you're gonna go back to the Comedy Store. What are you saying? - I'm not doing, can I just be articulate in front of you? - I wish you would. - Both of you. - You and him. I mean, can somebody articulate in this room? - What I'm doing is, depending on what the response of my act is on Hulu. - On your special? - On my special, right? - On Hulu. - So stupid. - Hulu. Anyway, it's just all based on that. - What does that mean? You're going to retire if you don't- - If people are like, that's the worst special I've ever seen, I might not be able to continue. - So you're just like making this fake scenario up? - You gotta, with everything that happens, you gotta look at the negative side of it so you can prepare yourself. - Good perspective. So go into it with negative expectations. - Everything I do. - So then you hope, so then, if it does well, and then you won't even be happy if it does well, 'cause you wanted it to do poorly. - No, I want it to do well. - Doesn't sound like it. - Okay, you're saying that I should be more positive? - Of course. You put a lot of effort and work and years into it. - Ask me again. - How do you think your Hulu special's gonna be? - It's gonna be exceptional beyond measure. Does that feel better? - Yeah. - Okay. - One of the greatest fucking specials ever. - Does that Tony? - Yeah. - Yeah, I love him. - He does that, one of the greatest comedians alive. He'll say that. He'll bring you up when you do the show, and he'll celebrate your special because it will be amazing. It's a great special. It's great. I watched it. - You didn't go. - To the taping, I saw you do it 50 times. - I know, but you never saw it. - I'm gonna watch it on Hulu. - I know, but my point is is that, how do you know if it's good if you haven't seen it? - I've seen the performance. What do you change? - I know, but we don't know, though, you know what I mean? - Since 2012, he's been. - What? - Sorry, since 2000. - Right after the second plane hit, I saw this. - I saw the act. I saw it live at the Comedy Store, and I told you how great it was. I said that to your face, and we were back in the green room with your- - I'm taking a break right now. I'm gonna take a little break. So I haven't been going to the store. I've just been localized. You know, I have, everything is- - You just got back into town from Australia three days ago. What are you talking about? It's not like you're like not been around. You literally haven't been in the country. - I understand that, but since I've been here, it's been very localized. - Dude, what are you talking about? - I'm telling you. - You haven't been in three days. - I know. I've been in town for a couple of days, and my joy has been very localized to my own home. - You stay in the house. - Yeah, and I've been doing my own routine, swimming a lot, sometimes six times a day. - That's crazy. - She knows. - He's swimming six times a day. - Yeah, I just go out, and then he's just there like lying on the- - Floating six times a day. - You mean, why can't I be swimming? - Do you remember the South Korean guy that we showed you 20 minutes ago? - Why can't I be swimming? - I don't see you moving. - Yeah. - Floating, swimming, I'm in the water! - They're two totally different things. - We're making an exercise. - Correct. - Okay, anyway. - When someone says, that's like, Bob is like, "I went running today," and he just stands outside. It's not the same thing, dude. You weren't swimming. Swimming is active. You float, and by the way, floating is great. You're a float. - I weighed. - Oh, you- - We already talked about this. I don't wanna talk about swimming. I'm just telling you my localized routines, okay? - Okay. - 'Cause you were so confused by it. - No, everyone was on the same page. - Okay, so- - You're confused by verbiage. - I've always been. That's always been a hurdle for me, verbiage. But you know, I've been doing it. I've been getting around it. - I know you go around the hurdles. - I do. - That's actually smart. - And I'm still gonna win. - Oh, you get penalized though. - Doesn't matter. - I guess it doesn't. - Yeah. - I went down sunset last night 'cause I did a show at the Palladium. - With who? - Sarah Mello put it together, it was incredible. - It was the only white comic on the show. And Donnell brought me up. Donnell was saying bad stuff about you. - What was he saying? - You know, just- - No, what was he saying? 'Cause I'm tired of that fucking guy. - He was cuss cussing you out. I mean, that's all he does. - No, I'm being real? - That's all he does. - I can call that little fucking guy. - Call him. - Fucking guy. - That was the only white comic on the show. - Are you being real? If he was not talking shit, I don't wanna call him. - And he brought me up by saying, "This next comic, he's the most crackery cracker ass, does a podcast with the little shiesty Chinese bitch ass." Yeah, he just shit on us for the first, I don't know, five minutes. But it was great. - I know his number. - Donnell? - Yeah. - Yeah, you do. - I know, but I don't know where it is. - You don't wanna call him. You don't know where it is? It's under Donnell. - How do you spell it? - Oh, that's what this is. - Yeah. - He just puts in black guy number three. - Yup. - Donnell, D- - O-N-N-E. - It's not in here. - Oh, maybe you don't have his number. - I don't have his number. - Don't answer. - Oh yeah, I see that guy. Do you have any don't answers on your phone? - No, I just won't answer if they call. - No, he's saying, do you have 'em saved as don't answer? - No. - I have a bunch of numbers saved in my phone that just says don't answer. - He's gotta remind himself not to answer. 'Cause he might just go- - So it pops up and says don't answer, I don't wanna answer it. - But isn't it tempting? - Sometimes I don't want to. - All right. - But if it's just don't answer, then it could be anybody. - Right. - Girls? - Yeah, I mean, it could be anybody from my past. - Yeah, coming back into your life again. Why don't you just get a new number? - I don't want to. Because people from my past have it. - And you don't want those people according to what you just said. - Some people I do. - Right. - Yeah. - Have any of those people that you do from your past want to call you? - Never. - Well then- - They never call me. They never call me, they never call me. So people from my past, they don't call me. And the ones that I don't wanna talk to are don't answer on my phone. - Well, it's kind of like when you give a text, you get a text once a year and you say happy birthday to somebody and you look at the past text and that's all you've said to each other is happy birthday. And you're like, well, that's that. I don't think we should do this anymore. - Yeah, I think it's bull. - I've acknowledged it to someone. I've gone, hey man, I see what we've done here. I think we're done here. - Okay, let me ask you this. - 'Cause it was literally happy birthday to me, happy birthday to him, happy birthday to me. I was like, that's it. We did it. - Over how long, a decade? - Honestly, it had to have been four years. And I was like, this is insane. I don't even know why we're doing this. - That's insane, that's insane. - We just saw it on the screen. - Somebody has to stop it. - I quit it. I said, I'm sorry, man. - Yeah, let me ask you this. - And now we're hanging out. - How does that work? - I said, let's get coffee. - It does work. - Yeah, sometimes you gotta crack it. - Happy birthday, okay, that's good. So, let me ask you something. - Ask away. - It's my girlfriend's birthday. - Today? - No, next week. - Okay. - Coming up. - Okay. - So last year-- - A pony. - I'd never thought of that. - Get her a pony. - I don't even know where to get one. - What? She's gotta know. - What do you mean? - Shut up, Pog Pog. - She doesn't know where to get a pony. - Yeah. - Get him a pony. - Yeah, if you wanna eat one, she can get one. - Right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but, so last year, I'll tell you what I got last year. - $20,000 for a pony. That's how much they cost. We gotta go to Bakersfield. - Yeah, I'm not doing that. - 20 grand, that's what a pony is? - That's good. Is that good money? - I don't, I think that's crazy expensive. I thought they were, a pony would be like $5,000. - What do you, what kind of pony are you getting? - Oh, you're a big pony guy, you know about ponies? - Yeah, yeah, Icelandic ponies are fucking 30 grand. What I did was I went to a bookstore and I bought a guest gift certificate. I was just like, I'm not- - That's for her birthday? That's awful, dude. - It's not, because it's like, you get whatever books you want. - No, dude, you have to make something special. You know what, it's not about buying something. Take her somewhere cool. - I asked her already. - Why don't you DM Daniel Radcliffe and see if he'll meet her in real life? - I don't even have Donnell's number. i said dm oh dm i don't even have yeah i can't do it hit him up on instagram i bet you he'd be like yeah and do what come over to the birthday party yeah wouldn't it be right that'd be he'll never show up no but not with that attitude okay her favorite book series right now is akatar so you could do buy like a good hardcover does she need a new cauldron or something no oh that's true doesn't she need something in that witch world yeah i mean i'm being serious like doesn't she need something toad feet can i get toad feet can we buy some toad feet on there i need toad feet i mean what would in witchcraft i don't know what we just want is there not any hats is there a sharper image for witches get her a new broom oh some like crystals crystals yes beeswax and spell candles ritual knife dude why don't you go to that store that you and i went to on mag that's like does it has witchcraft stuff we went to it together remember we won't i bought a poster from there where i'll tell you i'll tell you off the air okay it's got all this shit it's too late i got the gift just go tomorrow i already got it that's so boring that is so fucking boring i couldn't agree more you're such a romantic you're such a romantic what do you think he should get her rudy i'm trying to think what would you want for your birthday your birthday's coming up what do you want for your birthday do you want anything i'm taking her to hawaii that's not that's that's not a thing that's not a thing it's not for her birthday yes it is why can't i go and this is a part of it too it's for it's you're going i know i'm going you want paradise love you want paradise perfection you go to hawaii with me that's free so she gets to be a plus one to your thing for her i'll attach it to hawaii i'll attach other events too what do you what would you like for your birthday food see that's i know i'm serious what do you want i'll buy it she's not gonna get it for you i'll get whatever it is okay well it's not i hope it's not a car give me like something reasonable and i'll buy it for you right now all i'm thinking is prince street pizza i buy that i'll get her i have to buy her a prince street get her the whole street yeah i'll get you pizza you don't want anything you don't do nothing she doesn't want anything she doesn't know about fashion or i'm not asking about that do you is there something that you've had your eye on that's too expensive for you to give me more slippers rocks filipinos are the best what is that tinellas so you have indoor slip-ons and outdoor slip-ons i have no idea oh an indoor slippers indoor slippers yeah that's what you want we'll get you indoor slippers your what do you want for your birthday nothing good this is the year i'm free of it i got i'm free of institutions i'm free of dates and holidays i'm every day is a holiday for me so calendar means nothing it means nothing to me now today is my birthday good for you happy birthday happy birthday google as i saw this recently somebody said that there was a i don't know what year this was it was hundreds of years ago in the calendar we just skipped from like the fourth to the thirteenth or something like that and there was a like a king did it and he up everything in perpetuity for the rest of time because he just was like nah tomorrow's the twelfth calendar first skip days in 1582 when catholic countries dropped 10 days to transition from the julian to the gregorian calendar the old julian calendar miscalculated the solar years by 11 minutes causing it to drift pope gregory that's who did it realign the calendar so he switched did you like that what when he did that i mean i thought it was a bold move yeah but what were you feeling at the time i'm i'm behind mr the pope i mean the king gregory at all i know because you used to have that tattoo got removed the oh the pope g yeah yeah well i mean he's turned out to be not so good of a guy but but that's later much later much later 100 years later yeah yeah russia waited till 1918 to skip 13 days i love how russia just held out no we won't they don't want to just play just please will you do it it's easier for everybody no we will not they held out for 19 years no they held out for 19 years until 1918 that's what i meant 1918 this is nerd talk you don't like it i don't like it either i said you don't like it i'm interested in shit like i know you boggles my mind i love it tell me more uh what else do you want to about time changes and i can tell you time to zones there it is 15 15 82 that's it october 4th to the 15th so that fucks me up because my birthday is october 16th so what is actually my birthday does it not even exist it doesn't exist my buddy's little sister is born on a leap year she's like whatever 12 but she's actually 35 i never knew about that fact thank you so much for sharing that you're welcome yeah yeah give me a fact the aztecs had greater sewage system than all the european countries so they were very clean and you guys were very dirty by the way i like how you pointed at me as if you came from a you got you still poop outside don't point at me pal you got a poop pot you told me inside pooper then yeah i poop inside you told me about you guys dig a hole to poop today yeah but i don't litter i don't litter what the fuck is that what the fuck are you talking about my friend i don't litter either he hasn't littered in his life woman no that's not true one time i threw something out of a car and a native american was there and i hit him and he was crying that's a funny joke one tear one tear one tear there's literally nobody old enough listening to the show to understand i know we're so old you know about that ad oh i don't know i'm she doesn't know about that commercial that guy was italian yeah we played it yeah he wasn't italian yeah we talked about it of course macone give us some insight about what's going on in your little world um i got a ticket when i was in rome after being there for maybe 90 bobby this guy has not been present for whiskey ginger or this show for multiple months how does he have the finances to go to rome i'm gonna ask you that i have no idea no clue financing him i wasn't financing shit i didn't i for dinner yeah that's what those of that money was for i made it last not rome i i was only there for 10 days rome only for here's some starbucks money rome but there is a starbucks in rome oh there is yeah i know i was only there for like a week but it was just so i'm gonna be when a lot of episodes were recorded but it's impossible to schedule yeah you're fired that far ahead you're fired dude what did you do you got a ticket to do what in doing what no i got it i got a ticket after being in rome for an hour and a half because i was on a lime scooter without a helmet on very gangster and it's apparently a very punishable offense it's like that in there is the coliseum and there are the lime scooters to go through the coliseum for you that's insane lime scooters that buy the coliseum we're fucked in australia they have it new zealand all helmets on the lime scooters but they don't give you one it's a bullshit thing no they do give it to you it's strapped to the thing it's strapped to the thing yeah well also i'm not putting that on i'm not putting somebody's headlights on my phone i'm not one of those fucking things you jammed it in your big ass fucking ass your midwestern big leg big dumpy fucking he's got a big dumpster dumpster behind there okay so it's 50 euro fine stuck it in there is that what you paid 50 euros for the helmet ticket imagine he's got a warrant for his arrest in rome i called my buddy pietro from italy oh my god oh they give you a ticket so don't pay you no they got mad because i didn't know what they were saying they were speaking italian they just got me and the syrian guy and i called pietro because i didn't know what they were saying and frustrated that i called somebody and i said he was my lawyer and they made me hang up the phone because i didn't know oh yeah they don't like lawyers down there you fled the country i hope you have a warrant for your arrest i was only in rome for like literally like eight hours any ladies i'm sure there was no i did i was at a wedding and i had a crush on one of the the no was a lie it's a lie we know look look and then the head shake the little and the blushing what's the blushing about chachi i wish what's the blushing about chachi what is it chach i had a crush on one of the bridesmaids oh really pocahontas more more more yeah huh he's closer to john but i get it yeah hey what's up bridesmaids in who's wedding your buddy's wedding right and what fucking friend of his gets married in in italy insane no they were married in in uh bristol england what are you gonna do with this lady rub your vagina against hers pussy two for two hey you had a crush on this girl did you did you flirt with her yeah no we were talking we're having a good time because there wasn't a lot of single people at this wedding so i was talking or other men for her to talk to i imagine exactly so the cards were in my favor right so you did card tricks for her i was doing the behind the ear you know this idiot yeah do you like magic oh no you're not one of those guys are you i was with spencer the other you've never done magic in front of us how do you know magic i just did it in front of andrew the other he did it yeah this he's mr magic he knows how much magic do you know i know i know very limited magic but this is how he's getting laid now he's doing magic for doing magic i was with okay come over do magic i'll tell you if it's magic or not he's doing magic for chicks i know magicians if a guy did magic to you at a party would that would that be a turn off yeah i would hide yeah see exactly here's the magician now no no stop behind your ear i saw the pen from over there you know what's coming that's aggressive i saw the pen from all over they didn't bother to hide the pen you knew it was coming and he stuck up on my ear that's not magic that was assault yeah not that good i only like i can only do it how many times have this worked it that's not a thing. How blacked out do the girls need to be for you to do that kind of magic? That's not magic. The behind the ear trick is 100%. Yeah, you're supposed to bring it out of nowhere. I saw the pen coming in. This isn't fair. Hey, hey, hey. Magician's code. Don't yell. Yeah. Oh, he's still yelling. You're not a magician. You're not a magician, dude. Alright, so you talk to this girl. I can't believe that was it. This is what he did. I couldn't. Your ear's not exposed. Is that? Oh, water. I only know the ear trick in your ear. Ta-da. Hey, ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da. Ta-da, you fuck. I don't know it that well. It's not magic. Fuck you. I'm tired of your shit. You're fired. I'm done with you. You don't show up. You're in Rome. You're getting no scooter helmet. Okay? Nothing. No pussy, nothing. Alright? You're taking our valuable money, going to Rome, and fucking representing us through garbage. Through garbage. Okay. Through PogPog. Alright? Through PogPog. So what I'm saying to you right now is represent us correctly. Alright. With your hips high and your head low. He does have big hips. I know. What did you say to the girl? Uh, I was talking to her and then her friend and then her friend's boyfriend and then me and the boyfriend were talking and the girls were talking and she was like, I just feel so lonely at this wedding. Like, no one for me to be. That's an opening. Did you not close it? But then the friend, I overheard the friend say, what about McCone? And then I heard and I kind of looked over and she looked over at me and just went, no. No? Ooh. That seems brutal. He bobbed away. You bobbed away? Yeah. I walked around the castle and looked at the stars. Alright, you say that to him. I want to see what his face is like. What about McCone? About who? The freak. Oh. No. I mean, he's nice. Nah. He's not fine. He's not fine. Have you seen him dance? He is a bad dancer. Yeah. Did you dance by yourself? No, I don't like dancing with my side. Why does he, she have Kathy Bates legs? Like, the exact from Misery. The same hips and legs. Like, how does that happen? On a male? His whole leg is a cankle. It's incredible. How does it bloat like that? His thigh is the same size as his ankle. It's wide. Wild. We're built tough in the midwest. No, it's like. It's just like two trees he walked around on. It's so weird. It's like the Michelin man. He is the Michelin man. Just balby white fat. Balby white fat? Ripping off those fucking sticks. Yeah. He calls legs. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, no, I don't want to date him. Yeah, me either. Long story short, no. Well, congrats to your friend that got married or whatever. Rudy, do you have any parting words? Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah, it'll do. Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! If you don't know by now, this is me and Tommy's vodka. It's called Poro Sos for the Bears and we want you to make friends. There's nothing better than having a boyfriend. Best friend that you can share secrets with, share a cocktail with, and you're gonna love this vodka. It's got a smooth taste, a beautiful finish, and we taste tested a hundred different vodkas and landed on this one mutually and we were not wrong. We have won two huge awards. The USA Spirits 2024 Gold Medal and the Tasting Alliance 2024 Double Gold Medal. It is a fair price. It is an accessible price. We wanted to make that for our fans. We want you to enjoy it. Go get yourself a bottle and make it with soda. We have a bunch of drinks over on the Poro. Sos Instagram page that you can try, but pick up a bottle at one of our finer retailer partners. ABC Fine Wines and Spirit, Total Wine and more specs or go demand it at your favorite liquor retailer. Do that at a bar. Go up to your favorite bar and go, do you guys serve Poro Sos? When they say no, they go, damn. Alright, never mind. I guess I'll have a beer. 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