Trapped in Fear? Try This Instead

So I wanted to figure out what's the lesson? Why do I feel fear? Why can I not just think about the future and feel relaxed? And here's the thing, the fear that's your ego, your ego who's trying to protect you from insecurity, from things you can't control, because the ego has to make sure that you're going to be safe and that everything will work out, that you're not going to experience any threats, but the thing is that life isn't controlled, you can't control everything, you can't control the outcome of all the situations you're in. Hello and welcome back to unfold with me, your host Larissa. As you can see, I'm in a new setup. I was struggling with the lightning and ugh, the natural sunlight isn't here anymore, it's rainy, but anyway, welcome back and if you're new, welcome to unfold. Today I want to talk about fear. In the last days, I experienced that my mind was drifting off into the future and was trying to analyze the outcome and trying to control the outcome and I know that this is something that so many of us do because we learned to always think about the future, make sure that you have enough money, make sure that you know what you'll do the next five years, make sure that you will have a safe job and it all comes from a place of security. We want to have security because insecurity back in the days meant that you are exposed if you don't know what will come on the next day, but today we are not exposed to these fears anymore, for example, we don't have to fight against a lion that tries to attack us. We are most of us save in a house or wherever we live and real fear, a real life threat doesn't happen for us every day, but our mind still wonders. Our mind is still trying to control everything, is still trying to clinch to the outcome. And this is where I started to realize that it impacts me and not in the positive, more in the negative because then if the fear arises, if I am too much in the past or in the future, I'm not present anymore. And for that, I made some notes because I want to do my meditation in the morning as I usually do. And I started to feel that my mind was already drifting off. I woke up in the morning, everything was okay. And then I walked into the bathroom and I started to repeat my own stories from my past. And then I felt how my mind was jumping into the future and trying to think about, oh, how will this be? Will you be able to make sure that you're going to, I don't know, have security in this situation? And to connect this more that you understand where it comes from, I want to make an example. It's a big thing for me and it's also going to be a big step because I'm planning to move to Bali for a whole year. And with that, there also comes a lot of planning. But on the other hand, I also don't want to plan too much because I want to stay in this trust that everything will unfold the way it should. And if it unfolds, this or that way, this is exactly how it should have been. So I started to struggle a bit with my first instinct was go to Bali, go in October for a whole year. And I can't really tell you where this feeling came from, but it was here and it was strong and I took it seriously. I was like, okay, let's do it. And then all the questions arise with how will you do it money wise? Will you be able to find maybe a job there? If you don't find a job, how will you be able to stay for a whole year without feeling a huge impact money wise? Like all these questions arise and then the other ones came as well like what if it doesn't work out? What if you will not have your own business and earn money with that? What if what if what if? Oh my god, my brain was just there was just this one question. What if? And I started to notice that and I started to think about that. Why does this fear arises if I think about the future? Because I believe that everything you feel there is a lesson behind of that if you allow it to be. Why do I feel fear? And here's the thing. The fear that's your ego. Your ego who's trying to protect you from insecurity, from things you can't control because the ego has to make sure that you're going to be safe and that everything will work out that you're not going to experience any threats. That's a part of the ego who wants to make sure that everything is in control. But the thing is that life isn't control. You can control everything. You can control the outcome of all the situations you're in. And that's the thing where we start to struggle because we learned to try to control everything, try to control your emotions, try to control what you say. Don't say something wrong. Think about the future. What do you want? How do you want to go in your life? What kind of path do you want to choose? We learned to try to control everything. And then if something comes in our life and hits us where we're not able to control it, for example, maybe a death in your family or a breakup with your partner, these are things you weren't fully able to control. And if you never learn to stay in the present and to trust in yourself, then these situations will create a complete mess in you and you will going to feel lust, anxious, insecure. And you know that's okay as well. But let's come back to ourselves. Let's come back and let's trust. Let's learn from the fear. And that was very interesting because what I started to figure out when I was asking this question, I asked myself what would a monk or the Buddha say to this? I love Buddhism and yoga and spirituality. And I think for me at least there is so much value in this and also in these texts I'm reading. So what I found out was that fear can be such a big opportunity for you. Fear can be an opportunity to go inward. If you feel fear, it means that there is something in your life where you don't trust fully. Something within you doesn't trust fully. And here in this the first time might feel scary because then you know, oh, there is something where I don't trust but I want to trust. So how can I fix that? And it's always about fixing. I want to fix this. I want to fix that. I want to fix myself. But when you hear it the second time that it's an opportunity for you and that if fear arises it shows you where you still don't trust fully. It's an invitation. It invites you to go inward. It invites you to look closer to maybe the wound you're carrying inside of you or the insecurity you're carrying. And if the fear wouldn't arise, you wouldn't be able to see your old wound. You wouldn't be able to see that there are still situations in your life where you still feel scared. So what they did as well is that I read the text and they asked a question. They were like, is there a room? real threat in the now. Are you not feeling safe now? Are you not able to breathe? If no, return to your breath, return to the now with each breath. And this helped me to remind myself of what I said in the beginning. If there is no real threat in the now, then this means that this was a story you made up in your mind. It's a story about the future we don't even know if it will ever happen. And we are masters in making up stories in our mind and believing our own stories. But what it is is actually an illusion because it's not in the now, it's not real. And as soon as we start to create awareness for that and just learn to observe the fear, we start to create some distance and to see everything we think more clearly. And that was just so amazing for me to get remembered of that again to see fear as an emotion, but it's not me. Fear is not you. You decide how much you want to allow that fear takes you over. So what you can do when you feel fear, when you feel that it arises, make a step back and acknowledge it. Become aware of the fear and let it be here. Look at the fear and even ask the fear, what do you want to teach me? What is it that scares you so much? And this might sound a little bit strange to you because who wants to talk to an emotion and emotion is not a physical body that you can talk to. But believe me, as soon as you start to create more connection towards yourself and as soon as you start to take yourself seriously, you will start to build more connection and a deeper relationship within yourself. And your relationship is the key to every relationship you will have in your life, to every relationship you will have with nature, with your friends, with a partner, with your family because everything starts within. So what I learned from the fear that arises is that fear can be my teacher and fear can bring me closer towards myself. Fear can invite me to go inward if I see it that way. And the only person who can choose the way you see it is you. You decide how you want to see fear. Do you want to see fear as an enemy? Or do you want to see fear maybe as a friend that arises because the fear will stay with you anyway? Yes, try. Please try to push the fear away. I tried it myself as well. And see if that works. In some situations, yes, sometimes we're like, okay, let's shut it off. Let's just jump from this cliff. I want to go and dive deep into the water. But when fear arises, which is maybe even an old fear of you and you try to push it away, it will come even stronger in maybe situations you didn't even expect it. So create awareness. Show compassion towards yourself and come back to your breath. One breath at the time, back to your presence and back in the now. And with that, I hope that this short episode helped you. It helped me at least as well to really repeat that again and to remember myself one more time about fear. Fear is not your enemy. Fear is here to teach you something. And see it maybe as an old friend that arises again and again and again. And it's here that we learn more about ourselves. Don't forget to subscribe to the channel wherever you're listening to. If it's Spotify or YouTube, don't forget to share this episode with someone you have in mind that has to hear this. And don't forget to rate the podcast. It's so important for me that the podcast can grow more and that more people can hear about these topics because I believe that they are so important. And if you have any further questions, feel free to contact me on Instagram or leave a comment down below. Have a beautiful day or have a good night and I'll see you on the next Wednesday. Bye!