Too Polite To Be Guilty, An Unlikely Defence, No More Sexy Grannies

[MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, I'm Tara Sarabhan, and you're listening to World's Domas criminals. If you're keen to hear about the most ridiculous, bizarre, and downright stupid criminals and crime stories in the world ever, you've come to the right place. In today's episode, you'll be hearing about an American bank robber who posted videos of the robbery on Instagram that claimed he wasn't guilty because he asked for the money politely. An Aussie with a long criminal record who assaulted a woman, abused the police, and cut the roof off his sedan to make it into a convertible, apparently all because he was grieving the death of his mother-in-law. The country of Gambia's plan to create laws to reduce sex-up granny tourists and more. All righty, let's get cracking. In May 2015, 23-year-old Dominic Alphonseca went into the town bank in Virginia Beach. He waited his turn in line, and when he got to the front, he gave the teller a handwritten note which said, "I need 150,000 bans right now, please. Please take three to four minutes to get here. I would appreciate if you bring the alarm a minute after I am gone. Make sure the money doesn't blow up on my way out." Then he drew a little smiley face at the end to show that the note was actually nice. He recorded video of the robbery on his phone. Immediately afterwards, he posted a picture of the ransom note and two clips of the hold-up showing the teller putting money in a gym bag to his Instagram account. He was arrested 20 minutes later still holding the bag full of cash. In an interview from Jail, Dominic told News Channel 3 that he felt that he'd been wrongly arrested. He said, "I don't know how I'm a robber because I asked for it. She could have said no, and I could have left. I didn't have a gun. I didn't have anything. They called me up, and I handed them the note. I don't consider it robbery. The way I see it is, by law I might be guilty, but by my logic I'm not. I feel like I'm innocent by logic." He claimed that bank robbers demanded money, whereas he'd asked for it politely, pointing out how he'd written the word "please" in the note. And let's not forget the smiley face he drew. He also said if he was serious about robbing a bank, he would have worn a mask. Dominic told the Virginia pilot, "I'm basically asking permission for money. In my eyes, I did not commit a robbery, and I feel I'm being charged without reason." He claimed that he posted the picture and videos on Instagram to protect himself from the police, who may have said that he was armed. And he also wanted to show his social media followers what he was up to, which is nice. Here's a picture of a dog I saw yesterday. #Goodboy. Here's a picture of my lunch. #Ham and Cheese Sandwich. Here's a picture and some videos of me robbing a bank. #I'm Innocent by Logic. When Dominic, who was an aspiring rapper, was asked whether he held up the bank for publicity, he did admit that he thought it was a very good way to get the media's attention. He said, "It'll be good for me. Hopefully Jay-Z or Lil Wayne sees me, or he is my music and wants to sign me when I come out. I promise I'm the man. I promise." He also asked the media to give shout outs to Michelle Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga. I assume that's because they're every aspiring rappers favorite rap role models. I have a clip of Dominic speaking to NBC affiliate Wavy from Jail, where he explains the logic behind his actions. Let's take a listen. I posted a video on my Instagram. I videotaped it. You know what I mean? So basically, if it was a robbery or whatever like that, I don't think I would videotape it. Post the picture of the letter and then do that to come to jail. A robbery is demanding, going and demanding something, and taking the money or whatever like that. I didn't do that. She gave me money. And I love it. Whatever you interpret, but whatever I'm saying, that's based on whatever you think is not what it is in reality. Because for real, like in reality, what I'm trying to get to has nothing to do with me robbing a banker and like that. Maybe my Instagram is going to get exposure, a lot of exposure, and there's other things on my Instagram that has nothing to do with what happened. Yeah? OK. #HammacheeSamwich. Although he didn't say anything anymore outrageous, then dozens of people I've covered on this podcast. It seems Dominic has some mental health issues and actually believes the stuff that comes out of his mouth. In another interview, he said, "For real, I felt like I got robbed because they gave me the money, then the police robbed my brain." He said it's not just the police who'd done this to him and claimed that his Instagram had been ripped off by artists and celebrities who copied his ideas before he'd even had a chance to express them. He told WVCTV, "I don't know what it is. If there's chips or whatever that they're putting in people's brains or I have one, if I have one, I don't know how they have it, how I have it, but people know like before I do something, what I'm thinking, or they were just posted on Instagram." Despite claiming his innocence, Dominic later pleaded guilty to one count of robbery. In court, the judge conceded that Dominic has some mental health issues but told him the crime he committed was serious and that he traumatized the bank teller he held up to the point that she was too scared to come to court. Dominic didn't believe that though. He said, "I don't feel bad. I didn't do much. I didn't speak. I didn't give off any bad energy or anything like that." He was sentenced to 10 years in jail with seven years suspended. He was also instructed to receive mental health treatment and have no contact with the bank or the teller. Dominic had a positive attitude towards his sentence. He said, "I'm on vacation. I'll do my little push-ups, my sit-ups, my crunches, read a couple of books, gain some knowledge. I'll be all right. I'm okay with it." 25-year-old South Australian Joshua Matthews and his ski-vy mullet haircut got themselves into a super dumb spot of bother recently. But as is often the case, what was even stupider was his defense attorney's attempts to explain away his actions. In April 2021, father-to-be Josh stole a $1,900 pram from a baby-bunting store in Adelaide. No doubt because he thought, "Oh, my kid deserves a fucking best pram in the fucking world, eh?" When a staff member tried to stop him, he hit her with the pram. A month later, you know, for shits and giggles, he kept the roof off his white high-yundi ex-els sedan with a hacksaw to make it into a convertible. Just in time for the baby, I guess. Then he went for a 1am joyride in Glenel to show off his classy, pimped-out ride. Josh hadn't had a valid driver's license for five years, but that didn't matter, 'cause for him, driver's licenses, like speed limits and traffic lights, were just suggestions for drivers who didn't have a better idea of what to do. He was also not allowed to drive under his bail conditions from a previous conviction, but do you think he gave a fuck about that? So Josh was out cruising down the road, getting off on the sensation of the wind blowing through his untrustworthy mullet when he spotted a cop car. You'd think he wouldn't want to do anything more to draw attention to himself, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong. The cops hadn't even noticed Josh until he yelled abuse at them and then ran a red light right in front of them. Way to go, dude, I'm so glad to hear you've bred. We've gotta keep those genetics circulating in the gene pool. The cops caught up to Josh and pulled him over. Upon closer inspection, they noticed the do-it-yourself convertible setup he had going on. They also saw that the vehicle had sustained considerable crash damage. Josh was charged with a string of offences, including breaching vehicle standards, failing to stop at traffic lights and breaching bail. He was meant to go to court in October 2021, but he didn't bother showing up. So a warrant was issued for his arrest. He found. Finally surrendered himself to the police in May this year. Before his court appearance for his driving offences, Josh yelled abuse at reporters and Thor retten to smash their cameras. He said he was already gone jail, so he didn't care if menacing the media got him more charges. That's the attitude champ. In court, his defence lawyer Conno Neal really gave it a shot. He gave it a red hot go and I don't know if he managed to do it with a straight face, but I'm assuming that he did. So Con says, he's got family responsibilities now and has just had his first child. He tells me this offending came about when he was grieving the death of his mother-in-law who suddenly died. Like seriously, wow. Your honour, my client stole the pram, Wachta woman with it, saw the roof of his car, drove it through red lights without a license in front of cops, he'd just cussed out because he was sad that his mother-in-law had died. Well, I suppose we all grieve in our own ways. That straight Simon Smart spoke for all of us when he replied, "Is that right?" Because in August 2015, your client was dealt with for 37 offences, including offences of the same kind. And that was several years before his mother-in-law passed away. Josh's defence had no comeback for that because there is no comeback for that. Josh pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to eight months behind bars. When he left court, he managed not to threaten the media, but he did show them how charismatic and powerful he was by flipping the rude finger at them. That'll learn him. Hit the news last month that the small West African nation of Gambia is looking to discourage sex tourism from older British and European women. Get your WAP up out of there sexy grannies. They're hoping to attract what they referred to as "quality tourists" instead of "lusty older ladies" on the prowl for a toy boy. Gambia became a hotspot for sex agenarians, sex tourists in the 1990s due to the rise in affordable package tours to the country. And when I say package tours, I mean package tours. It's so rampant there that Gambia has been called a real-life Tinder dream for geriatrics by someone. That line is in every single article about this, but nobody wants to take credit for it. As jobs are scarce and wages are low, young men known as beach boys earn their living as escorts to older women. But apparently now Gambia has grown tired of its reputation. The director of the tourism board told the media, "What we want is quality tourists, tourists that come to enjoy the country and the culture, but not tourists that just come for sex." He followed it up by saying, "And my eyes are up here." So now the government is looking at introducing laws which will allow the police to arrest the beach boys and their sexed-up older lady friends. The Minister of Tourism and Culture, Hermat Va, stated that they wanted to take the focus of sex tourism and on-tune wildlife and eco-tourism. He told the media that the country has more than 300 different species of tropical birds and strongly implied that mature women should keep their clothes on and look at them instead. A couple of years back there was a documentary called Sex on the Beach about older white women coming to Gambia in search of steamy encounters with younger black men. It made everybody with even an ounce of internalised misogyny and ageism, epically but hurt. One Twitter user said, "Fest sex on the beach programme is so disturbing. Old white women, praying on poor Gambian men for sex. How ugly is that?" I mean, I get that it's not in everyone's bank bank. But if you gender flip it so it's old white men praying on poor younger women in foreign countries, it's just a regular day. Nothing to object to there. To finish up, I have a few punchline crimes for you. These are short cases that sound more like jokes than something that actually happened. On October 5th this year, the police received a call from a resident of the Japanese town Kekua. They'd noticed a silver attache case partially hidden in the bushes by the side of a road, but its owner was nowhere inside. Fearing it might contain an explosive device, the cops shut down traffic within a 300 metre radius and sent in the bomb squad. They used their specialised equipment to carefully examine the silver case for over three hours. When they decided to tentatively open it up, they found that they wouldn't be needing their wire cutters' bomb disposal robot or anything of the sort. For the case did not in fact contain a bomb. No, no, no. Instead it was full of used sex toys. This was probably anticlimactic for the bomb squad and the person who'd lost their attache case full of sex toys. In 2014, a serial burglar in Murfield, England accidentally left some very incriminating evidence behind at the scene of one of his crimes. He'd snuck into a garage looking for staff to pinch and sell when he noticed a small fridge full of popsicles and beer. It seems popsicles and beer were his favourite so he hastily removed his false teeth and got to suckin' and guzzlin'. He put the teeth on top of the fridge but was in such a drunken, brain freeze haze after helping himself to the beer and popsicles that he didn't notice he'd not disteeth down the side of the fridge. He toothlessly scamp it off with the beer he hadn't yet drunk and forgot all about his missing falsies. The owner of the garage, Stephen Pickles, told the media, "Oh, the garage wasn't locked so he had sneaked in and helped himself to the beer. I reported it to the police at the time and a few days later I went in the garage and a founder said a false teeth down the side of the fridge." 38-year-old Justin Stanfield had been arrested for several burglaries in the area at the time and also happened to be missing his teeth. In a weird twist on the Cinderella story shoe situation, the police charged Justin with the robbery after the false teeth found at the scene of the crime fit in his mouth perfectly. As we all know, if the teeth fit you must not acquit and Justin was found guilty of robbery and jailed for 16 months. In March 2017, defence lawyer Stephen Gutierrez was defending a man in an arson case in a Miami courtroom. His client had been accused of setting his own car on fire for insurance money. Stephen was right in the middle of explaining that the incident was a result of spontaneous combustion when his own pants caught on fire. Lawyer liar pants on fire. This is in court told the media they'd notice Stephen fiddling with something in his pocket moments before blooms of smoke were seen billowing from his trousers. Stephen bolted out of the courtroom trying to outrun his burning pants. He came back shortly afterwards with wet, cinched pants and blamed the fire on a faulty vape battery. Now prosecutors were worried that Stephen had staged the whole incident as part of his case. His client was found guilty and Stephen had his licence to practice law suspended while the incident was investigated. This brings me to the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening. Make sure you subscribe if you want to stay up to date with our future episodes. 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