Tom's Dad STOLE Dynamite & BLEW UP A Bridge w/ Barstool Big Cat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

I love that I started the "Not a Damn Chance" podcast with just the nasty story I have. Part of this idea of this podcast is how you can become successful as living as just a regular human. I went to culinary school and I only went for a few months and I dropped out. Look at that, kids. You can drop out of culinary school and get two Michelin stars. I do what I can do so I can come back and do it all over again. "Not a damn chance!" If you see yourself somewhere, take all the necessary steps to get there. I just don't know how to quit. That might be my superpower. You can all try and stop me. I hope you do. Consistency was exactly what life was all about. Don't be genius here and wild dead. There's a beautiful moment where obstacles become opportunities, messes become messages. I got shot in the face. Jail was the best thing ever happened to me and I did put my head in the news. You heard 300 people dying. Nobody can tell me like you're breaking the rules, you're doing this wrong, there's no right or wrong. Don't care what it takes. I'm doing this. We have a phrase for that. It's called "Not a Damn Chance." My people, you're like a white fixture. People look at you, Hitler. We love this guy. Good and talk. Bert, welcome. Big shout out to Barstool. It's a big cat. Do they own high noon? I think. Is Barstool own high noon? Isn't Dave on it or no? I gotta tell you, Dave. Dave does. I wonder if people were gambling people. Would you put your money on Dave Portinoid to succeed when you met him in high school? I think I'd have to know that guy. I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say no. Probably not. I'm gonna say no and I'm gonna say the same thing about big cat. I'm gonna say the same about me and you. I was gonna say, I think if I met you in high school, I wouldn't be like, yeah, this is gonna work out. I don't even know if it's gonna work out now! Well, hold on. We gotta say thank you Barstool for giving us accommodating us and letting us do an episode here. We're both. We're fucking idiots, dude. We should have done this yesterday morning. Not the day. Yeah, why didn't we? Because I don't know. It wasn't dumb. God. We did a fucking. I'm so hungover. We did a bar takeover. And we got Fun Tom. This is the beauty about owner of a vodka company with Tom. Is Fun Tom shows up every time we do a bar takeover. Every fucking time. Every fucking time Tom ends up on stage. I mean, I just wanna tell you how beautiful the women of Chicago are. We walked into the old crow smokehouse last night. In Wrigleyville, yes. In Wrigleyville. And a woman behind the bar, in front of the bar, handed me a remote control and said, press the button. And I went, "Okay." And I pressed it and she went, "Huh." And I said, "What?" She goes, "I have a vibrator in my vagina." That turns it all on. And I went, "Let me get my friend real quick." Yeah. And then you just handed it to me. You go, "Press it." And I did the same. I was like, "What?" You go, "Press it." And I said, "All right." Ladies. Ladies. Yeah. That's the move. I'm telling you right now. You wanna own a man's inner dialogue for the rest of the night? That is the move. If you are a party fun girl, you do that. And you go to a bar. You're a college. You find a guy, give him the remote and say, "I'll see you in like 10 minutes." And that guy will do nothing but think about you. I spoke up, thinking about her. I woke up. I'm pretty sure her boyfriend was with her. Yeah, she had a boyfriend. And he was just like, "Cool, right?" Like he was one of those guys. Fuck yeah. Yeah. He might be into watching or something. Oh yeah. I was just thinking about her. Yeah, I know. She owns real estate in my head. No, because when we left there, you were like, "Dude, can you believe it?" Like, it was. And I kept thinking. It's a real. Here's the thing. It's a real power of fucking move, right? To be like, "Hey, she's basically saying your hand is inside my panties right now." You know what I mean? Like, she's like, "You're touching me right now." It's basically what she's doing. All I could think about this morning is, "How do I convince Lee Han?" I was gonna say, "You gotta get one." No, because I think we've been with each other too long. I just do it right as the guy goes, "Yeah, what can I get you to drink?" And I hit it. You're like, "I'm all take it." Oh no. Cold beer. Cold beer. Dude, I wish they had those for guys. They do. They do? Yeah. No, not in your ass. I mean, for your dick. For real? Yeah. And you can give her the remote. I'd be like, "Just turn it on." No, no, don't touch it. She'd be like, "Wow, that's so sexy." That's cool. That's so good. I got you that. I'm sitting here watching you just not aggressively. It's so fucking arousing. Oh fuck. That was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Because you acted that so well. I feel like I just pressed the button and you did it. Oh my god. Are those linen pants? Yeah. I'm switching to linen. It's good for summer. Do you like my asshole sweats? And so I have an ass sweat stain in my asshole. It's so like if I sit down for too long. Yeah. You just see like a wet mark. Dude, it's real sexy. That is, I've shit so aggressively today. Oh, I'm a shit, yeah. Oh my god. I have nothing but just violent puree coming out of me. It is so gnarly. And I've had like four already. It's absolutely the most. And by the way, as this place is massive. Yeah. And really impressive here at Chicago barstool. I think there's three bathrooms and there's 80 guys. It's the craziest thing. I walked into three bathrooms. There are eight guys. They're like, I'm shit and I'm like, I have to shit and they're like, go to the other one. Okay. This, I mean, let's, let's talk for a second about barstool Chicago. This is, this is competitive with Rogan setup in my opinion. I don't, I argue the facility. This is better than Rogan setup. Well, it's a totally, I mean, very different. It Rogan's one guy. So it's his thumb breath. It's just him. It's just him. But like this is like, I mean, not high school bird is like going, what can I quit my job and just work for you guys for free? Oh my God. I know. I would be. I'm blown away. They have a basketball court. They have a golf simulator. They have a gym. They have, they have fucking, by the way, it's like something about the chicks that work here. They're all pretty and cute. And they got little sister energy. And they're like, what's up? Hey, you want to iron in? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I fucking love this place. I feel like I fuck my life up. I'm my studio is like, it looks like we sell knitting supplies out of it. There's so many fucking women. There's so many. Why do I have so many fucking women working for them? Why can't you get some more dudes in there? I can't, I fucking can't hold on to dudes. Really? Yeah. I lose dudes quick. Fucking, I think it's a, a den of snakes. There's women. Yeah. They're just all fucking little fucking just, like women, they're mean girls. And so when they decide they're going to do something, they do something. I got to fucking up a coup d'état. Do it. I'm going to start sexually harassing them. I would, I would pivot from that. Whatever you plan on, you should stream it live. I'd love to watch. By the way, I ate shit. It's got, someone's got to have the video. It's got to have video. You, you took like a epic spill on the stage last night. So. And by the way, it's, it's what woke me. I set my alarm. I didn't need my alarm today. Really? Because my, my knee fucking woke me up. So we're on stage. We're pretty lit. I mean, I had an edible. I don't know how many shots. I don't know how many drinks. And we're saying good night, basically. And thank you for everyone coming out. We're on a stage. And there's a DJ set up there. But the floor is black. His table is black. It's not. He was black. He may have been black. That might have affected it too. But the thing is. Dude, he had like a two foot subwoofer on the ground that like you just don't see. Yeah. So I walked over this way and just completely ate shit. It's not fucking hard. I thought you blew out your knee. Well, I was joking about it. And then this morning I was like, oh, what if I really did? Because like it. It hurts to put it up like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it kind of sucks. I got some cool bruises too. You got bruises on you? Yeah. Fucking a hard man. It was hard. And I was, I joked with you. And I was like, I tore my ACL and you're like, wait, I'm just kidding. But I go with me. You probably believe it. And you're like, yeah. And then this morning I was like, I think I did tear my ACL. Fuck. Only so mad if I did. And then I got back to my room. And I fucking smoked DMT. I hit the DMT. What is it with you and DMT these days? - The best fucking vape pen I've ever had in my life. - But you disappear. - Dude, I was fully hallucinating last night. Like, out of my mind. - Wait, how did you get a DMT vape pen? - Just cool guy. - Wait, how does, I wanna know, the breakdown of this. - I've been given a few. - You've been smoking DMT more than I think you're supposed to smoke DMT. Doing DMT is like anal sex. You're supposed to do it once a year. - Yeah, until you find out the only way you come. And then you go, I'm gonna do it all the time. (laughing) - Yeah, I kinda wanna do DMT. - You know what, here's the thing. You go on a, first of all, you can't lift your head up. You're kind of paralyzed. And then, and I like it 'cause I feel like just give up, just life and right now. And then you go on these crazy, like crazy visual shit happening, right? You're seeing shapes and colors and all this shit. And then like a door opens and you go into some life path realization. And you're like completely lost in it. You're in an alternate reality. And you know, you're maybe you're resolving something or maybe one of your fears is coming up or maybe you're just like processing something. And then all of a sudden, you're like it's over. And you're like, oh, how long, how much time will it buy, 15 minutes? - That's it? - Yeah, sometimes, but then you hit it again. You're like, let's do it again. (laughing) Yeah, it's pretty great. It's crazy, we, me and you do drugs and alcohol for different reasons. - Yeah. - Like it's so fun to watch you get fucked up. 'Cause you, you, you, you make a decision. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like I never make the decision. The decision just shows up. - Right. - It's like, it's like, it's like lunch for you. - I'm like, I'm like with civil rights in Europe. Like, yeah, they're black people. Just let them do whatever they want. - In Europe? - Yeah, in Europe, right? How that works? And then you're more like, the United States, we were like, all right, now they can use our water fountains. (blows raspberry) - Right. - Right. - Like, you're, but like, you made a decision to get fucked up last night. You're like, you said something. You said something like, all right, that's it. It's over. Something I went, oh fuck. - Well, yeah, because whenever I go to any of these things, I feel like the, you know, you have like this balance. Like, are we just at this thing? And then you have a drink. - Yes. - And then you go. - I don't know that balance, but I've heard of it. - So for me, I'll be like, it's just a drink and then we're leaving here. You know, it's like, one is fine. But then like, the atmosphere there was so fun. Everybody was so nice. And like, it felt like we were actually at a celebration, like at somebody's birthday party or something. And the music and, you know, our crews together, just like hanging out. So that after I had like a couple, I was like, oh, this is like right now, I'm standing online. Like, you either are going for it or you're, or you stop now. Which I was like, all right, we're in. Let's go. - You know, it's so funny, Tim Dylan wants to-- - And then I drank, by the way, about a gallon and a half of water. Have better sex with Bluetooth. Bluetooth is the original brand offering truable tablets for better sex. And starting now, Bluetooth is offering a combo so strong, it might knock your socks off and your neighbor socks off. And you might have to actually purchase new socks. Bluetooth Max has arrived. It combines the active ingredients of Viagra and Cialas into one truble, is combo acts fast and it lasts. Great sex is just a few clicks away. Sign up at Blutew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers. And once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. And this combo is going to lead to some record-setting hardness. 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I said, "What?" She goes, "Water bomb, it's our trick. Kill it." And she's kept handing me like a, not a full glass, just like a little glass of water. And we kept killing water and I was like, "Nice." Yeah. And that's how we stayed hydrated. Wait, what was I going to say before that? God dammit. No, but you, we drank a ton of vodka. Like, we were doing, we were had our heads back on the bar and they were pouring shots in our mouth. I'm so jealous right now of you. I felt my girl last night. So I gotta share this and I said this last night. So every night, girls, when we do this, girls put their heads back and we pour shots in their mouth. Yeah. I am astounded at how great a dentistry is in America. Dentistry? Yeah, like it's, I'm just amazed at how many sets of perfect teeth I look at, perfect teeth. Now I have a thing, I have fucked up mouth. I got hit in the mouth of the baseball bat when I was a kid. I have like 26 fake teeth, like posts. And then some are bonded, some are crowns. My, my molars are shit. Like, I have a real fucked up mouth. I often think the day I die, I'll go, "Well, thank God I didn't have to get dental work." You know? And so, that's a really cool outlook. One of the craziest things I have is I have these bumps in at the bottom of my mouth. They're like, I can show them to you, but they're kind of crazy. And I know I have them, but I, and I kind of, I don't hide them, but I've never seen anyone have them. Oh, under your tongue? Under my tongue. I'll show you them. It's kind of creepy, and my mouth is fucking sucks, but. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. So, what are those? Okay, so I've never known. I've never known. They showed up in college is when I first noticed them. I had like a bump, I was like, I played with it, and I was like, what the fuck is that? And I was dipping at the time. I was like, fuck, it's cancer. And then another one showed up. I was like, god damn, it's really cancer. And now I have four. And I've never, and I've, and I'm, and, and my sister, wait, she has them? My, my sister, my sister has them. My sister, Kadi has them. Same? Yeah, and I've gone to Dennis, and I've asked them about them. And they go, yeah, some people have them. That's it? It's just, I'm sure it's a condition or whatever, but Dennis have never said anything. All right, and they don't affect anything. They don't affect anything, but I have these bumps. What I have always looked, when we poor shots in girls' mouths, for someone that has my bumps, like I've always looked for it. Last night, girl fucking, I think it's a girl with a vibrator. She puts her mouth back, and I see my bumps. And I go, I got the same mouth you've done. And she immediately knew what I was talking about. And we started talking, her boyfriend jumped in. He's like, he says my girlfriend, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you know what I'm talking about in his shoulder? And she went, I've never seen that. And I was like, that's me and you. We're like, fucking, like, what if that's the way, that's the way we're the Highlanders, the Outliers, whatever. It's so crazy. I've never seen anyone that had them. And I'm like, God damn it. And did she share anything about them? Or just, it was always too loud. I wanted to talk to her about them and go, like, they're just benign. They're just fucking bumps. Do you not, do you? Have you seen these? They're really crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. I had no idea that's what you meant. That's really crazy. I'm so jealous that you get to net. Oh, I'm gonna fucking, I'm tying one on. Are you? Yeah, I'm done. I had a really great, I had a really great run of not drinking. Hello. Eight days. General plane for Hawaii. I have two drinks for takeoff, fly, sober, land, no booze. At the hotel, no cocktail, sleep, wake up, feel amazing, workout. Amazing. Comedy is the reason I will be alive is because of comedy two shows in Hawaii two nights in Hawaii. Oh, I didn't know you were doing shows Yeah, yeah, I'm my stand-up sucks, and it's so bad I can't even tell you but everyone who I thank you for coming out. I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry No, stop. I mean, I'm just I'm just I have nothing. I have no tent pole story. I'm working on yeah, yeah, yeah, I have Usually when I build an hour there's I usually have something really great when I'm building it something really great That I can go this will at least they got that and then I got two things. I'm working on and I go at least they They'll see that. They'll know that that was what I was working on I don't know I'm like I got I got one story that's I got a couple stories that are okay, but like when did you especially come out March? Yeah, and I took I made a mistake. I took 11 months off and I should have never done that. No, I think you did the right thing I think why I think I'm so far removed from stand-up that like It's take it really is the first time in my life for him. It's taking a minute to get the rust off. That's fine though That's good and the people in Hawaii were awesome. I opened with a fucking opened James Cook Women of whyy joke had that land not well What's the angle soon as I wish I was James Cook? No, I said I said you know one of my favorite stories about James Cook and everyone's like Huge fans of that guy, and I was like This isn't gonna go over well I was like, you know, I mean, it is a funny story. Yeah, they pull up to Hawaii, right? Yeah, and James Cooks We got the West ready. We're okay James Cook's like. Well, this is the end of some more. Okay James Cook's like to the guys on his boat. He's like all right. Listen. We all have syphilis and we'll have rickets, okay? So no one I'm not letting you guys on this fucking island and they're like, but we need fruit and he's like, okay Fruit mortar that's it. I'm gonna send to you fucking people. I have One rule Don't fuck the women and they go about the fruit. Okay, do rules bring back fruit. Don't fuck the women to rules That's it to you go you understand me two rules and they go, yeah, boss. We got it. It's a great Sensitive a boat they come back in the boat and he's like how to go and they're like, well, you're not gonna be happy Like what like we fucked a couple women. So now they have syphilis so we might as well just go fuck them That's what I opened with in Hawaii And they were like, yeah, we know. Yeah, yeah, I was like fucking shit. You're like and you're like that's one of my favorite stories I just think it's so funny that like that. I just thought I when I heard that story I thought it made me giggle. They didn't like it and then I I by the end of the week, you know, it's like you get the rust off your salt I opened my first show Thursday with that and then by the end of the week, I was like I was like fuck James Cook and they're like Yeah, and I was like Do you know that you want to know crazy thing about James Cook? He couldn't swim seriously. He couldn't swim He's out navigating Navigating the world and apparently that was like a that was a tactic to keep your sailors Like you didn't want sailors who could swim Oh, you want to sailors who couldn't swim because then they really gave a fuck about make no one abandon the boat right and so Yeah, they he tried to take someone hostage and then they chased him on the water Bludgeon and death and he couldn't get to the boat. He couldn't swim to the boat. That's how he died. Yeah But that was and then and then I and then I started getting I don't know if it's pandering, but there's an island called Nihao. Do you know that island? It's privately owned by a white dude And he has not let Anyone on that island. There's like 80 Indigenous people like real Hawaiians. They sound different. They talk different and they live on that islands the furthest Island west in Hawaii, and it's just he they bought it for 10 fucking grand back in the day when you could Well, I know they're not big fans of suck. He owns a lot of land there Zuckerberg Steve case They all own I like. Steve. Ali Allison. Larry Ellison owns that guy's Lanai. Yeah, he owns 98% of Lanai. Yeah, and by the way looks like a villain I mean, honestly looks like you know when Shultz does this thing with his mustache. Yeah, yeah, it looks like that guy like the What's it called iron man kind of facial hair? It's all based on But do you think Shultz knows that he's doing the villain thing when he rolls his mustache like that? I don't know It's probably it's like it's like I always wanted to ask him because It is a it is a it is the it is the villain thinking move. Yeah, and he does it so much I think it's probably unconscious. It's like it's like anyway. You know what I'm saying Like just it's like hold your thoughts. Yeah, yeah That's good. Maybe I'll start doing you should start doing that That would be perfect. Wait, I have a question. Yeah Dude, you're opener there that reminds me of the hardest I ever bombed in Hawaii No, because I was there for one of those. Oh, yeah, that's right Tom Sakura. This is what they gave him James Cook rules. Okay. We have two rules guys Number one, do not mention Pearl Harbor number two do not make fun of the Hawaiians Tom comes on stage. He was I got bad news He was opening joke. They said island life is slow. I Didn't know they were talking about your metabolism's while you guys are fat I was like I got lost walking around Pearl Harbor today lucky I ran into a couple Japanese folks They really know that all this this base like the back of their head And I said I know that Mahalo has a bunch of different meanings is one of them extra cheese as you guys are so yeah, that was fun. God, man, and then They also were like and don't curse and we were all like okay And then we all just cursed anyway, it's so crazy. We're teaching these guys to kill Yeah, but ultimately We go to the military. We're like go. I think there I think the rule was and correct me if I'm wrong. I'm I'm quoting They were taught if it's brown and it moves kill it That was one of the things we heard Yeah, but don't curse in front of me and tell her curse If it's brown and it moves Russell Peters came on late. Yeah, he was he was a closing act Yeah, we're like you're round and Tom leans over to me because Russell Peters is closing this out and they are taught if it's brown and it moves kill it and Russell Peters is walking way too much on stage That was so fun. Well the funny thing is it's you make a good point because it's all such a charade, right? Like they're like don't don't say anything. Not nice don't and you're like for what like the Adam Earl's wife is here You're like so what there's fucking 8,000 people out here like we got to do a show for her And then everybody and then when our organizer was like you guys just fucking ruined my life The guy that booked us was like, thank you. We're talking about Charlie. Yeah. Yeah, my god That was I you know what this is an ad by better help men today face and men's pressures to perform to provide To keep it all together So there's no wonder that six million men in the US suffer from depression every year And it's often going undiagnosed if you're a man and you're feeling the weight of the world talk to someone anyone a friend a loved one A therapist I trust my therapist so much with all my problems and trust me when I say I Feel the weight of the world sometimes just like everyone else and it's the small stuff that drives you nuts So I talked to my therapist this morning and I said I'm feeling like I'm spinning out of control my therapist just real quick. It's have you worked out? 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Yeah, like you're probably my closest friend that I've been in touch with You know that hasn't drugged me or Yeah, like But like even like Joe. I'm known Joe's long enough where I can't like But I'm known you longer than I'm known Joe and I the funny thing the great thing about life is when you're experiencing something And you giggle about something that happened a long time ago and it makes you smile and you go god memories Yeah, it's cool thing about having kids When we were at this we were in Justin Hawaii obviously and and we were stayed at the the four seasons, which we used to be the Hulani. - I don't remember. - It used to be a Marriott property. - Marriott property. - Yeah. - The Tom and I, that's where Leanne and Christina met. - Yeah. - And that's where Tom and I did these shows. Whenever you ever did the Pearl Harbor, you stayed there. It's really nice. It's amazing. It's got little lagoons that are man-made. And they made them in 1977 before the government would be like, yo, you can't do that. - Right. - All the coolest parts of America, the government got in the way of. - Yeah. - Like, all of Coral Gables, like what, where it's just like these beautiful canals and everything. That was just, dude, it's going like, you get tired of my, let's just make fucking rivers. - Yeah. - This guy, the guy that owned all that property, he's still, I think he still owns a piece of that property. He owned all the west side and they were like, you're never gonna, or the leeward side of white. They were like, you're never gonna, no one's ever gonna build here because it doesn't rain here. It's dry, it's bullshit. You know, there's no waves, it's the leeward side. And he was like, eh, let's see. He's like, I bet they'd like it if they were lagoons. - Yeah. - And they're like, what are you gonna do with that? And he goes, get some dynamite. - And he was just. - Dynamite it for lagoons. And then on the fourth one, they were like, yo, you gotta stop. Like, this is insane. - He's just blowing up terrain. - And he's just making these amazing. They're gorgeous. They're so. - Have you ever tell you about when my, my dad was a kid? He told me this story. Like, it's just like something that could only happen in a different time. Either way. - You have to do a show about your dad. - I know, I know. Just that, I mean, I meant to interrupt. - Yeah. - But no, just that, my favorite, at a bad thought, my favorite episode, my favorite thing is that the fucking talent show. - But you, thanks. - But Sarah's got a new special and she talks about her dad a lot. - Yeah. - And there's, man, there's something, especially when you've lost that parent, the reminiscing about that parent, I watch Sarah's special is so good. - I wanna see it. - And put it, but I love hearing stories about your dad. I love it because it's like, I don't know. It's like, keep going, I don't know. - Well, he was a kid and this is in, I think it was in Louisville. And I guess this would have been like, probably the late 50s, right? Like, there's an army post and he's a kid. Him and a couple guys walk onto the base and they steal dynamite. And then they blow up a bridge. So they set off dynamite and blow up a bridge. And then a police officer picks them up and is like, you can't be doing that. And then called my dad's dad so my grandfather told him and my dad was told by his dad, like, you should not do things like that. Like that was like that type of scolding. And then he was like, I'm sorry father. And then that was like, is that all your dad told you? He was like, yeah, you fucking blew up a bridge with dynamite. - I missed those days. - Yeah, dude, his dad was in law enforcement too. So he got like, you know, my grandfather was FBI agent. So he was just like, we met FBI agent. - We met the guy that arrested Jesse Smollett. - That's right, yeah. I don't know if we should. I don't care, all right, it's fine. - He gave us his guard. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? - Oh, I asked him, I go, 'cause he hit me the badge, you know? I was like, okay, how cool of a flex is pulling this out? He's like, I go, no. What's your favorite memory of somebody being like, hey fuckhead, and then you go like this. And they're like, oh, I'm sorry. And I think he said it was at a show. Like it was something with entertainment. You know, like he was like, I'm going here and some people were like, you can't go there. And then he just pulled it out and they're like, I'm sorry. And they just move out of the way. I was like, yeah, like dude, you gotta have like, some type of fun of pulling that out. There's, so, Leanne's not, she's not a city slicker. - No shit. (laughing) - Leanne's what they call a rube, right? Like if you take her to the big city, she's gonna lose majority of her savings in a shell game. - Yeah. - So like, and that's the country in her. But it shows up on the internet. So like, Leanne is the person on the internet that goes, oh no, have you seen this? And he shows you, and it's clearly, it's like a stage video. And one of the most staged videos I've seen is a cop pulls over a black woman and he's just fucking licensed registration. He's being a dick, right? And the black woman's clearly is like, just going like, okay, okay. And it, but it says cop pulls over a federal judge. Have you seen this? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then she goes, get out of the car and then she's wearing her judges gown as did I saw it. - It was fun, let's just say, as a dude who grew up with a lawyer father who went to court on days he was sick. I would go to court with my dad. They don't walk home in the court and the judge outfit. They leave it in the court. It is something they put on. They don't fucking, that's like pulling over a doctor and he pulls out his stepscrow, he's like, excuse me. So sorry what we saying. - And then he goes, you see this? They pulled over a federal judge. - And I was like, baby, it's not real. She goes, what do you mean it's not real? I go, it's not real. She goes, I'm looking at it and I go, no, it's staged. Why would they say that? - There's so many staged videos to outrage you. And she goes, what? He just did it cause she's black. And I went, no, baby, that's, it's not a real thing. They know what you're thinking in bed that you want to see someone misbehaved and they get called on his shit. - Yeah. - And in the dialogue too cause she's like, you're gonna find out. He's like, why are you wearing that? - Why are you wearing the judges outfit? But you're black, I'm on your black. You shouldn't be a, hold on you're a female. Here, you're black and female. - It's so, and she's like, you're gonna be hearing from me and you're like, okay, yeah. I mean, I have to say, if it's like, we've all been taken by a really good stage job. Like, I'm sure, you know, I've, I've- - I'm not one that won on the airplanes. - Not one, what? - No, so, I'm a production guy, Tom. It's my third height and hand. - How you like it? - I'm feeling really good, they're very, I don't even feel buzz yet. I feel like gambling. It's like what bar stool is about. - Yeah. - It's fucking brilliant. This is fucking brilliant. I hate that they figured this out before me. Like, I'm fucking stunned that like, 'cause like, I'm, I mean, this with respect. I hope this comes out with respect. But like, I'm a meathead. And I'm more of a meathead than that. - Right. - Like, I'm the ultimate fucking meathead. White privilege, I got it all, I got it all. They outdid me at my own game. But if I didn't even know we were playing the goddamn game. That's right. - I'm so fucking stunned that like, yeah, but you, you know, you still were able to, - I've done good for myself, but, but like, to see what they've done, this facility. I keep going back to that. Let's go back, let's talk. You know what, can I keep going? 'Cause I hate that the internet kind of like, it encapsulates what we all feel. - Yeah. - It's almost like they're like, it's tarot cards. Like they're going like, like they feed you shit. They're like, hey, do you feel like black people are a little mouthy and you're like, huh? And like, watch Angel Reese. You're, what do you think about that? - Yeah. - And then you're like, what the fuck, man? She can't even make, like, I was talking with fucking, fuck, fuck face and numb nuts last night. Pete and, Pete and Kyle. - Yeah. - And they're like, did you see, this is what made me upset, upset, yeah. Do you see all her airballs? She has Angel Reese. All her misses, like, guys. Everyone's gonna, you could do that for any athlete. You could just show every time they miss. - Yeah. - Someone just put that together and they go, no, she misses all the time. I go, no, she doesn't. Obviously she's in the WMBA. She must be pretty good. Like, she has to sink one or two to be in the WMBA. I mean, I don't know if that's a rule. I don't know anything about the WMBA. - Well, like, but like, they just made a compiled, video compilation video for misses. - Yeah, you can make a miss video for anybody. - And I go, but I go, I hate that the internet does that because they go, are you kind of racist? - Yeah. - Little racist. - Yeah, like back then, right? No. - Back guys are cool, but the WMBA, right? - Check this out. And then they feed it to you and then it serves and inter-dialogged to you. - Yeah, you're right, you're right. It's like, honestly, this, and here's the thing is, I really like Caitlin Clark. I really like her, but I know the way this works. It's gonna, it's gonna reshift. Like the Angel Reese versus Caitlin Clark thing. It's like Apollo Creed versus fucking Rocky. - It keeps going, too. - And I want to tell Angel Reese shut the fuck up. Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking. Don't say a fucking word. Go march on the inch on them. Just, don't say a fucking word. - And just, 'cause everything she says they fucking take and use Gastron, I bought an Angel Reese jersey. She's a place for the guy who's got a fucking bought a jersey yesterday. - You did? - Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm not gonna wear it, but. So, next up, unfit. - Oh, that was a lot, man. - That was a lot, man. - They did it with Meghan Markle. - Oh, Meghan Markle's kind of out of mind. - She's kind of crazy, dude. - The second I talked about Meghan Markle, all my feed was, was Meghan Markle. - Yeah. - You watching that show amazed me. - I can't stop. I watched it on the plane. When she correct, dude, she corrects, like, Mindy Kaling, is that her name? - Mindy Kaling, is her name? - Yeah. - Mindy Kaling. - Kaling? Kaling? - Yeah. - It's like the, she's like the most well person in the world, right? She's never done anything wrong. She's a woman, woman of color. She's like, fuck it. She's overweight, she's skinny. She checks all the boxes of, like, can't offend you at all, right? - Yeah, yeah. - And she fucking offended Meghan Markle by calling her Meghan Markle. - What do you mean? - Dude, it's so good. Did you see this? And she says something simple, like, I can't believe, I bet no one would think Meghan Markle, like peanut butter and telly's. And then Meghan Markle goes, "You're still coming, Markle. It's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Sussex." And you're gonna see Mindy Kaling, like, "Oh, what the fuck, why are we doing this?" "Oh, man." Like, yeah, I, I didn't say the end word. Like, what the fuck you do, bitch? Like, what the fuck? She. - Well, it's so good. - Chastises are for, she's not joking? - No. And it's, and by the way, I'm a rider die for H&M, right? H&M? - That's what I call 'em. That's what they call each other. - Oh, Jesus. - It's so good, Tom. It's so good. Like, I honestly, I think that people are, I think I might be the smartest man in the world. And I think that I can transcend fucking what, I think I can transcend things and enjoy misery. I think I can enjoy the fucking horribleness of some of projects. Like, this show is so rewatchable, because it's a disaster. - Is it a hate watch? - You can't, you can't, see the, I would argue it's not even a hate watch. It's, you just gotta get into it. You gotta know the characters. It's like the office. It really is like the office. I'm being serious. It's so, she cannot get out of her way. - Yeah. - And I've watched every episode. - Like, making your face character, like that. Right? - It's, but you gotta be, you gotta go, you gotta get out of the internet and go, I'm not gonna just hate her because she was on scrubs or whatever. - Suits. - Suits. - Yeah, she was on Suits, I married a prince, and I don't believe a lot of her. I don't get out of that. Get into the fact that it is the office. It is, but it's for real life. It is real life. If Ricky Gervais created this character, you would laugh hysterically. - Right, you'd be like this. - And I really, and I'm joking like this, I'm the smartest man in the world, but I'm not really good. Like, but I really think I've transcended it and I've enjoyed, I enjoy, I watch it again on the plane. - Again. - I gagle. - All right, you're gonna make me try it. What's it called? - I don't know. (blows raspberry) - With love. - With love. - With love. - She's trying to be Martha Stewart, right? - Dude, I, I'm gonna make me want to rewatch old Martha Stewart's clips, 'cause you know, Martha Stewart was a little bit out there. Like they used to do parodies of her on SNL. Oh, they were so good. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause that ass though, actually, fuck, yes. - She really is. - Dude, can I tell you what sucks for women is that they fade? - Just. - It's like watching, it's like watching Superman get locked out of his house. - Women specifically fade? What about guys? - Nope, we get better. I told this to Leanne, we're taking a walk. And I noticed like, and I was like, well, I'm famous but I noticed people looking at me. Like when we were walking. And I noticed like, these young girls saw me and then they giggled. And then they were like, oh my God. And then they came ran over and they're like, are you? And I was like, yeah. I'm like, can we get, oh my God. And their energy was in them. And I noticed like, man, it sounds a little shitty, but like, I noticed like not a lot of young boys were doing that to Leanne. And I said to Leanne, I said, I said, it's kind of crazy. Like, it's kind of crazy that like, and we had just seen the complave. I said, is it about the Rosalene? I was stuck on this. Is it about the Rosalene? We would have cut a finger off, to fuck. And now you look at her and you go, but 10 years ago, 10 years ago, we'd punch our wife in the teeth to have a chance with her in bed 10 years ago. She's still beautiful. She's still beautiful, but all it is inevitable with women at faith and with men, we kind of are stock increases. Especially if you make money in your little gray look sexy. And, you know, I got shocked by these, I got shocked by these young girls in Hawaii. It was right when Leanne left. Leanne left and I was only leaving two hours after her. I went down to the beach, I had a fucking cocktail. I was telling Pete this last night. And these girls came out and wanted to talk to me. And they're like, are you, are you here by yourself? And I was like, I was like, oh, my wife, my wife just left. And they didn't know I was leaving an hour. They were like, oh, what are you doing for dinner tonight? I was like, I don't know. (laughs) I should have been like, I'm having it on the plane, but you know, I was like, I don't know. Like, you should come with us. And I was like, oh no, I'm leaving in an hour. And they're like, oh, okay. And then I was like, that's, it's just so odd now I'm buzzed. It's so odd that like, for women, it's inevitable. - Right. - Who's all of them. - Right. Well, they're the ones pursued, right? So like, guys pursue women. So you have like this biological thing happening in you too, right? Where you, like your DNA is seeking out the youngest, most viable, you know, reproduction person too. And so like, you actually have a signal in your head that sees somebody that's older and goes, this is not a reproductive person. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - That's like on a real base like, you know, the purest level of attraction is really like our bodies telling us, reproduce or don't reproduce. - I almost envy ugly jigs, 'cause they never had it. - Right. - Yeah. - Like what's better? To have it and lose it or to never have it and never know what it was. - Did you ever like, do like a, you know, like a charity? Fuck, when you were younger? - No, I only fucked. I only fucked who would fuck me. No, I'm sure that you would not love my list, but. - No, but did you ever like, I won't have sex with six checks. - Right, but was one of them, did you ever do like, - No. - Hey, you never had that attract. You didn't say it, but you fell in love with all of them. I was like, I love, I said I love you to all of them. Even the one I stand, I said I love you. And I was like, what? (laughing) - Fucking only fuck people I love. (laughing) - I'm broken, I'm the reason. That's the reason the internet hates me at times is 'cause I've said everything that I'm just broken. I'm fucking, I'm sorry. - I only fuck people I love. - Oh. - Yeah. - Oh shit. (laughing) - I never even made out with an ugly check, I don't think. - Really? - I don't think so, but it took me so, I, it took me so much to kiss a girl. - Yeah. - That I was like, I don't wanna fucking deal with the fucking rejection. - No, they say, oh god. - I'm like, and be a side of buddy in high school in college. Let's just call him Chris. (laughing) And he just kissed everyone. He tried to kiss everyone. Every night, just leaned in to kiss everyone. I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, hey man. He's swimming a couple of times. You can hear the homeroom once. I was like, yeah, he goes, truck his mall. He would, I mean literally just, he just, and I was like, I wish I could do it. - He must have had some responses. - He was, I gotta say this. I don't, I wanna say his last name so we know who we're talking about. It's Chris who lived with Stephen Eddie, just so we're all clear. You guys get it. - Yeah. Good looking dude. Really good looking dude. Never really had like a girlfriend. I think if you focus on looking for the home run, you forget what it's like to hit a nice base hit. - Yeah. - And I was like, give me a base hit for the summer. If someone I can fall in love with, someone I can like order pizza with, watch movies with, someone I can tell secrets to. (laughing) - Yeah. - I don't belong to a bar stool. Fucking, I'm a broken boy. - That's right, every world broken. - No, I'm so broke. You think I could have these conversations with the guys here? - What would they say? - Huh? - Where are you? Where are you? Bethel and Mary's game. What are we talking about here? Are you gay? - It's cool, there's a lot of gays now. - Even at bar stool. - It's crazy how gay. - It's crazy how gay almost disappeared, you know? And then it came back like strong. Like I hear so many people calling shit gay. - Yeah. - That I'm like, I remember when I stopped saying it for a while. - It's the one, so the only critique that was valid that I heard, like you have to like listen to, when you go, that's gay and you mean that's lame, was that people were saying, what if a young kid that's gay, like actually homosexual, hears you saying that something that is shitty is gay and they kind of associate that with themselves and I go, oh, that's a valid critique. And then I was like, yeah, deal with it. You know, that's gay. It's fucking like-- - Can you believe shit? - It's fun, it's a fun-- - You got in trouble for saying retarded. - I can't tell if they were saying-- - Isn't that great? That's so wild. - Go ahead, not only that, hold on. So, also-- - What did you do to the recharge challenge? - Dude, please, it's unbelievable. I went to the special Olympics, dude. Not to the event, to the headquarters. - Wait, what did you compete in? (laughing) - I probably actually wouldn't win, but yeah. First of all, let me just say this. The most comforting thing, like the thing that I enjoy the most, is when I'm around somebody who is gay, and they use that's gay. The same way that we do, then I go, "Oh," 'cause they're like, "No, no, you have, "of course, I think that's the best." The retarded people. - You got in, I think this is glossed over. You got in a lot of trouble. I'm gonna say it, you don't have to say it. So, if everyone knows, according to my dad, I don't know what the truth means, but I'll tell you my truth. I always tell you my truth. You made a joke about the word. The word and the usage of the word, and how, you didn't just call something retarded. You made a joke about the word, and it got so out of control, they wanted you to take your special down, and you don't have to answer any of this. I'm just gonna tell you my side of the story. They were legit thinking about it. And you commented with, (laughing) "Hey Netflix, if you took my special down, "that would be retarded." And then Netflix is like, "That's not the buzz we're looking for." - Yeah, that wasn't helpful. And then you had to go meet with people, and now, it's almost like, almost like watching, watching what's happening today makes me outraged that we could have just done that then. - Well, I'll tell you this, man, it was like, it was a very shate, people don't, I don't think a lot of people realize how shitty of an experience it was. - I told you that. I said, "I went through something, "I don't forget what my thing was." But I said, "I feel bad that I'd never reached out." And I said, "Hey, man, I hope you're going through." - It was bad. It was really bad. I actually thought that my career was kind of gonna end, like when you're in, when you're in it, you really feel like you're in like a little bubble, and all I got every day was just create, people like threatening to kill me, saving messages, I'll beat your fucking head in with a hammer, like crazy shit. And then I keep getting these calls. They're like, "Hey, they want you to go meet "with the special Olympics." I'm like, "What are you talking about?" And I'm like, "Who's asking?" And then finally, they're like, it's a Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix, wants you to go do it. I'm like, "What, he wants me to go do it?" And they're like, "Yeah, I guess I'm gonna go do it." So I went down there. - And they go, "When they go, hey, I'm not gonna say it." I know you're saying, there's a couple guys in Netflix, you don't say no to. - Well, yeah, the guy that started it, there's a couple guys in Netflix. (laughs) I remember, well, yeah. (laughs) Netflix is an interesting family to be a part of, 'cause there's a couple guys that can have their way with me and keep going. - Well, here's the funny thing. So they're all attacking me. And one of the things I figure out pretty quickly is that I'm an attainable target because there's all these other movies and shows and comics who have said retarded, right? And I'm like, "Hey, what about Tropic Thunder's on there "at the time?" And they're like, "Oh, yeah, they're upset about that." But they can't really get a hold of Ben Stiller. So they can find you, though, they got you. I'm like, "Oh, cool." And then I go down there. And Special Olympics people were like, "Hey, you know, we watched the Special "and you're actually a funny guy." And it made us laugh. And I'm like, "Okay." And they're like, "But, you know, that word is so problematic." And they're like, "Hey, you know, I'm listening. "We're having an adult conversation." And after we speak, they're like, "You're a really nice guy and you're thoughtful "and I go thanks." And they're like, "I really, you know, I didn't want to laugh, "but I did laugh at your Special." And I go, "Thanks, Ben." And then the guy's like, "I just want you to know "that I appreciate you coming down." And I go, "Thanks." He goes, "But I'm gonna still do everything in my power "to try to have your Special taken down." And I go, "What?" And he goes, "Yeah." And I go, "Okay." And then I left there. - I don't know what number on the call sheet I was on the call list, but I got a call in the car. And you were confused and you were like, "I do not know what just happened." But the thing, I was in my pool. 'Cause I remember I was staring at rocks, the hardest gap in my pool. And you go, "I don't, man, what the fuck?" I was like, "What?" And you're like, they like, they actually got the joke. They said the joke, the joke makes sense, not a hateful joke, but they're still gonna take, they wanna take my Special taken down. - And they tried. - And I remember you saying, they want me to do the Arbor Challenge. And I started laughing so hard. I go, "They want me to do the Retard Challenge?" And you go, "Yeah, I go Tom. "Tom, you need to tell them." The internet's not gonna fucking like what they think. - It was so insane. Then they told me, so obviously the Special, they didn't take it down. And I have to defend Netflix 'cause Netflix stood up. - Netflix stood up best. - For not just me, but they're like, you know, Archmedians can kinda do what they want it. Like it's, you don't have to like it, but we're not gonna take it down. - Take a look at bad thoughts. - Yeah. Take a look at bad thoughts. If you have not seen it, go watch it right now. That is Netflix. That is, and it's Tom's, but that is the boss we have. It's like, sure, what do you guys wanna do? - But here's what's funny 'cause this all started when you're saying like, people are saying, shit's gay again retarded. So for a minute though, after this whole shit went down, first of all, one of the high ranking guys got fired because he was referencing my special. And then in the reference to my special, he said the N word in a meeting. And then people were like, why are you saying the N word? He's like, no, I'm saying, I'm talking about words. And then he did it twice and they fired him. Right, that was a huge story. That was, I'm not like-- - I remember that. I remember that. - This was, yeah, I don't know. I remember that. - This is all in the trades and in New York Times and everything. And then there was kind of a policy for a minute that they were like, hey, you cannot say that word in special. So like, they stopped Jay Okresin. - Jay Okresin, yeah. - Well, then I got a call on my follow-up special. They were like, hey, if you talk about the last special and everything that went happened, they're like, you can't say, like, retarded again. That was really bad, right? Like, the fallout was bad. And I just kind of accepted it. And I'm not critiquing, I think, you know, language and stuff. It's, there's cultural shifts. Things happen, you go, it's okay. Here's the funny thing. It has been five, six, seven years. And now, everyone says retarded again. And it's in shows, it's in stand-up. Like, it's just back, the people just kind of were like, no, we won it back, we're gonna say it again. And I don't mean like in the malicious way to like, I'm just saying like, when we go, like, dude, what are you doing? This is retarded, you keep drinking, like, you know, like, people are saying, but like, that version is like back in, is like acceptable. - It's, I gotta be honest with you. I'm, I end up going to old school where I go, yo, I had a period where I didn't say any of these words. And I understood it and I got it. And now that I hear them so casually and callously said, like, just whatever, I go, whatever happened to you guys. Did you gotta get beat that easily? - Yeah. - Like what? We were on your team for a second. I mean, I never really used the word. I never really like, I never made, I'll tell you what, I never made fun of anyone with Down syndrome in my entire life. I've never, it's not my thing. - No. - And I, it's, and by the way, to the point where like, I remember making fun of somebody like that. That's that. - It's fucking shit. - Yeah. - Like, all the word, I understand why somebody goes, you know, this is hurt, that's not like, it's lost to me. But I'm saying, you have to accept the way that language works is if enough of people, if enough people agree that a word has a second meaning, then that's how, then it has that meaning because people are agreeing on it. And, and with that word, you know, we all, like, to use it to somebody with like, like, a disability, that is cruel. - Yeah. - And it's completely unnecessary. It's not funny. But people say it for like, like, same with gay. - That's what I'm saying, yeah. - Like, I mean, gay, or the, you know, it's like, both those words, I just go like, I don't know, I'm, I've never made fun of gay people. I've enjoyed them. - You never, you never beat up a gay guy in high school. - No, never. - You're not that much, you're not that much of a fucking bar still guy. - Yeah. - That's one of the things Dave looks for in a resume. He's like, did you get it? - Yeah, he's like, no that. - Did you pummel somebody for being a queer? - Hey, it was a big guy here. Can we get him to step in for a second and just say hello? I just want to, I just want to give him flowers and tell him how fucking great. This has been a great podcast, man. - So by the way, did you know that Tuskegee Airmen did not have syphilis? - I had, I hadn't even, I didn't know. So can I tell you, can I tell you what I learned? - Yeah. Tuskegee Airmen are different than the Tuskegee experiment. My whole life, I thought they gave a bunch of pilot syphilis and then let them have syphilis for like 30 years to test out, to find out what the degree of syphil, what happened when you left syphilis untreated. I mean, it kills you. - Are you aware of the Tuskegee experiment? where a bunch of guys, a bunch of black dudes got what they called back in the day syphilis, but they call it a bad blood. And they got syphilis. Syphilis was, uh, it ruined your life. I mean, you went blind, you, your brain rotted, brain rotted, you're fucking alcapone dying of syphilis, I think. He did. And so that was the Tuskegee experiment. The Tuskegee airmen is something totally different. Those, that was a bunch of black pilots during World War II. In whatever happens where you, what's the, what's the thing where they, where everyone thought that, uh, sinbibers in the movie shazam. What's it called? What? The Mandela effect. I thought they gave these pilot syphilis and World War II to be a crazy experiment. I know. And I get up there and fly down with your brain fucking melting in my head. I'm like, I, the whole my whole life. I've always been like, but they were flying flying for us. Why would we give them a syphilis? And then what the fuck was the sinbed thing? I don't know. Mandela effect, which is it's when you think you know something like, uh, hold on. Uh, this is a Mandela effect. Um, Luke Skywalker in, uh, Darth Vader, and Darth Vader says, Luke, I am your father, right? Yeah. He never said that. He never said that. His words were like, so it's deep into your truth. You will know it to be true. Luke, he never said, Luke, I'm your father. But we all believe we heard Luke, I am your father for what it's a Mandela effect. It's the same thing with, uh, why is it called the Mandela effect? Cause Nelson Mandela, I was really big into movies. I don't fucking know. It's gotta be. Why is it called the Mandela effect? Are you looking on your phone for an answer for me? Uh, yeah. What's Mandela effect? Do you like how I immediately became your boss? Who would you rather? Who would you rather sit on a 10 hour flight with big cat or Dave, importantly? That was, that didn't take, I did not take long. Yeah. All right. He's nice or two? Oh, people go, he died in prison. So people were telling that story because they think it's a, are you serious? What's, what is Nelson Mandela? Yeah. Hmm. That makes sense because people, okay. What? Oh, so it's not Brent Krishner. It's Bert Kreischer. Hey, that's the Mandela effect. That's a Mandela effect. Do you know, do you know how often my name is mispronounced? Well, I have a collection of videos and a folder. That's what you're wondering. I, I, I, I got two things ready. And by the way, I don't know if I know the answer. I know the answer. I know the answer. I almost guarantee you that Tom doesn't know big catch real name. Dan cats. God dammit. Fuck. Is he Jewish? Really? One of the big ones. Yeah. He's a real outlier in that world. They get, they only get one or two like that in the generation. They're looking at this fucking good looking strong jawline. Yeah. Big, great hair. Big guy. He's a big fucking dude. Mm hmm. I, I, they were, I think six two is the threshold of big dude. Yeah. When you're six two, you're a big man. When you're fucking six foot doesn't do it. Six foot, you might as well be five, 10 right? No one can tell that it's been five, 10 and six foot. No, you want to be like you said six, two, six, three. That's where it's at. Yeah. I think we should. Oh, look, he just showed up. Shit. What's up, man? We've been having the best time here for the last, whatever, how long we've been here. And we, we just wanted you to come in. Yeah. Thank you. For first of all, for letting us do this. Also, congratulations. I know you've been here a while, but it's super impressive. Thank you. Are we live right now? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I was like, oh, this is nice. I was thinking maybe you're going to say all this before we started taping. No, man. We've been recording for an hour. So yeah, it's awesome. How do you guys got to see it? It's really cool, man. It's a dream. It's like we've, I work in a fun factory. You actually really do. This is, it's the, the Rob Deer Deck. I was such a huge fan of him and Rob and Big. Yeah. And I remember when he, like built that, whatever it was, 20 years ago, it was like skateboard park. That's what I want to do for, for a living. You did it. Yeah. Yeah. Can I say one, one funny thing though? So I, so we, we built this in November, 2023 is when we moved in. And I take my kids here all time to, yeah, three of them. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. You guys are good at keeping secrets. No, I mean, that's not a secret. There's, they're very much. I mean, I don't put them online. Oh, you don't do it in specials and talk about their periods. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't, I don't put out their pictures or their names because I know that they're going to have a pretty fucked up, very smart reckoning when they, yeah, they get to like college and some guy walks up to her party and goes, I'm going to fuck the famous right out of you. Yeah. Fuck you kid. I know who you aren't. I'll find you. Is there a fucking. Yeah. I got three little kids. So we, I bring them here all the time to like run around on the weekends. I have like a little, you know, the little toy trucks and stuff. And then so they love it. They think it's the coolest thing ever. It is. They fucking love it. Then, and he was like four months ago, dude, perfect open their new office. And my son watches, dude, perfect. And he watched their tour of their new office. And he was just like, where your go carts? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, fucks. Wait, can we, can we, can we deep dive into? You know, they, they, they, I, so dude, perfect. I think they do, I think they're like deep state media because they did a, they did like a fun run at my son's schools in kindergarten. And all you have to do is compete and you get a prize. The prize was dude, perfect, backpacks. So every kid walks out with a dude, perfect, backpacks. And they're just like, this is awesome. And then boom, their hook line and so we have to do that with Poros. Yeah, let's do kindergarten parties. They get poros with poros. So Cippy cops. Cippy cops. Get him. Oh, that's actually, that's actually brilliant. That's actually fucking brilliant. That's really good. That's really brilliant. We should do lunchbox as well. We're at it. And Lucy, you guys with Lucy? Yes. Lucy. You should come out with a candy that you put in your cheek and slowly release a sugar. This is a broken. All right. What was the deep touch? Okay. Oh, first layer, you Jewish? I am non-practicing. My dad was or is my mom is not. Your mom is not officially so half. Yeah, but I mean because we were saying like, man, he's a real outlier. Look at him. He's like, big, strong. You and Gary Goldman. You and Gary Goldman could carry on the race. I was one of those kids when I was like, uh, younger. I, I hated all relief. Like, I've gotten more mature with you. Think that religion is important to you and your relationship with God is important. You. I'm not going to tell me some he hates Palestinians. But I have, but I have, I was that like shithead kid who's like, this is bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Like, why are we doing? Why are we doing anything that was told to us, you know, 3000 years ago? Yeah. So, and I've kept that pretty consistent throughout my life. It's funny how, how non-religious like I was brought up, you know, like a kind of religious household and how I have kids out there and they have virtually like just know. Yeah. My kids are just not part of. Yeah. They're upbringing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Be a good person. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing is like, I understand religion like can instill those type of foundational things, morals and everything. But like, I hope that I am able to do that on my own without religion. I hate it also. Like, I had to go to, you know, Sunday school and we went to mass every Sunday and all of that stuff and it's like, oh my god, my kids like, you know, a picturing them going through that, they would be like, dude, I fucking hate you, man. Yeah. Right. Right. If I made them do that now, where's the idea? We talk about you in Georgia to church once and Isla is this, I mean, this kid's staring at me. I go, what? She goes, why are we here? And I go, what do you mean? She goes, you like this? I go, no. Why are we here? I go, I go, man and she goes, we can leave, right? Yeah. And I'm like, where was that brain for me as a child? Right. Now, I'm going to push back. I'm going to say, I just want to contemplate. Do you want to contemplate? I did. Spoiler alert. Didn't really love ending. Yeah. Yeah. It's the ace venture of religious movies. Yeah. I heard the dude. The buildup was fantastic. Awesome. The buildup was great. They couldn't just end the movie being like, we picked, you know, this is like my favorite genre of like, of films are like thrillers sometimes are suspense, you know, like, and it's all about building up and then the reveal, the reveal like who killed or what's the thing? Yeah. And so you're waiting and you're like, oh, man, this is building so well, the actors are phenomenal. It's well directed, the tension. You're like, oh, shit. What's it going to be? And then I got to tell you when it's revealed, I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me. They should have gone full-ass venturing out all the preschool. You remember Damirino. Damirino was like, oh, it's a dude. You mean what? A great, I watch out with my daughters. My daughters are kind of woke. The first thing they say is they see us return. They're like, are we laughing at a special needs birds? They go, no, no, it's different. And they're like, no, that's them. And then by the end, they're like, he's just a transgendered female. My boys watched it last week. Isra Jora? Yeah, they're six. And nine and they're like this is the greatest fucking thing of all time. I can't wait to get to like actual movies I'm still in like the despicable Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they love the shit lost their minds. Yeah, yeah, what trips? Let's talk about kids What trips do you want to take with your kids? How are your kids about to be six four and two? Man boy girl boy Three is a lot three's a lot three's a lot your number. She hits a lot. It's a lot. Yeah Man, I just I we just came back from Hawaii and I went to a resort that I've taken my girls to like 10 times and No, I mean that's that's over at probably five times and and We had so much fun at this fucking resort that I started thinking The podcast move and I always think like in like you know, how do you monetize it whatever? It's like it's like planning trips for families like doing family family trips like not this like We're a family. We're gonna live in a van and we all work out and we all eat pro liver, you know, whatever Yeah, but like planning trips for families because man, there are some fun Family trips. Yeah, and then there's some that aren't worth it that you go Maybe my kids don't need to see Bolly, right? You know like they've this how I use just as good as Bolly Yeah, yeah, I we go to I haven't I take my kids on some trips some trips are not invited to because it's like you know Too young man a two-year-old is like when we go anywhere near a pool. He just tries to kill himself of course You know also every time like I do the road people like do you bring your kids? I'm like we're in four cities in four nights right like to have little guys right eventually. I'll love that Yeah, I'm gonna take my the final force in Indianapolis I'm gonna take my son to that because it's a drive You know exactly that's gonna be awesome, but no we there is a place we go to in the Bahamas Bahama Have you guys ever been there? No, it's it's it's the best and I say this because I'm a very easy guy If you give me a pool and a casino. I'm in so it's a full like resort, but there's a full casino sports book There's like 20 restaurants on the resort. There's also a free water park Attached to it and it's like I do this without my kids I've asked you a version of this before but like for like like that vacation. Do you go in with like a number? Yeah, so you go. I'm just handling this. Yeah, and then I'll probably hit the ATM again But yeah, I actually did well this trip really okay, so we can I ask you as a person who I have the things I like yeah, Bert, you text me every now and then being like is this a good bet? I'm like dude You're like I know you saved me like I think you wanted to bet like Baker Mayfield on the MVP No, no, no, no, no, by the way, I'm so excited for the fucking box. Shiloh Sanders is gonna be a jersey. I'm buying Okay, and then what are you gonna do when he gets cut fucking he's not getting cut god damn it. Listen, where do you think he's going to end up? I have a really good question Yeah, what about your door? I don't think he's gonna I think it'll be a good backup somewhere Maybe in Cleveland, maybe he'll stick around in Cleveland. He's he's okay He's just like you have to be you have to have like incredible arm talent in the NFL You have to have something that's elite But maybe he can maybe he can make it as a backup and like that's a pretty good life chase Daniel made millions and millions of dollars I think there's someone did it like a breakdown. He's like made like $300,000 per pass attempt. That's pretty cool Because he was in the NFL for so long and he just he would get in every now and then and his brain still works Yeah, right, right. That's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah. Now here's my great question because I'm a journalist Um, so like when I go When I go on vacation with the girls when they're younger there was always like a I monitored my drinking because I didn't I didn't want to get out of control But there was a little bit of where you know, I got loose. Do you do that with gambling so that your kids don't see the gambling? No No, they know so like so like you go to the final four He's getting dad and a little bit of big cat. Yeah. Well, he's there's a my house. There's Specific times where the games on and my kids will be like who are you rooting for like what color? I'm like rooting for both We have the over we want when this team has the ball we want to score when this team has the ball we want to score So they probably don't really understand how sports work. They don't get it at all. No, we're both. Yeah, it's uh, I mean I've said it before I might even said on this show. We have a real Funny conversation in school and they're like we like all teams. Yeah, right. He has like we like points But yeah, no, I uh, I've been lucky enough that I can gamble. Are you guys racist? No black people make that smile We need points. Can they score? Can they get can they score? Can they put the ball in the hoop? But yeah, I'm really all my only hobby is gambling. So yeah, uh, I know that it's probably I never try to think about how much I've lost in my life Because that would make me sick, but I also know that I've been lucky enough to make a lot. So yeah, just keep it going kind of balances out That kind of I need to get to a point where like I've talked to my financial advisors like about retirement And I'm not gonna retire anytime soon, but like What's the point where I have enough money that I can just lose it all Like for the rest of my life, you know what I mean because that's what's because I'm not gonna retire and not gamble So I gotta figure out I gotta figure out how much I can have that I can then be like all right We're okay with losing all of this and then you just you know die with nothing. Well the problem with gambling for me And I'll speak for Tom too. I've seen Tom gamble Tom gambles like you gamble, but like I'm not the only time it's interesting It's like fucking cheating on your wife. Who's gonna work on them, right? It's like if you cheat on your wife fucking raw dog, right? That's why it works. Yeah, like if you if you cheat on your wife And she goes did you wear economy like you've never heard about cheating barely? So but that's the same thing with gambling. I actually totally disagree with that. But go ahead. You'd wear a condom. I well First of all, I wouldn't cheat on my wife. You know what I'm in itself for a real reason. I've like I come way too fast to like it would be like 45 seconds to ruin my entire life You know, I mean like I didn't fuck like a porn star then he'd be like oh consider it But like I think about like the embarrassment in the 45 seconds and been like your life's over now. Can I Can I miss you a bar stool challenge? Okay, me and you a wife. I love that explanation by the way. Well, she also loves because she always asks like you know The hypotheticals you do with your wife. If you're like if I died, what would you like would you remarry? Yeah, I'm like Listen, if you died like tomorrow high-end prostitutes rest my life. That's love. That's love. That's love I don't want to put the time into fucking it's like when you get a new dog. I don't want to potty train him I like the old dog that followed me around next to my heels right god fucking great dogs man the um What were we talking about the gambling gambling gambling gambling. I'm a little drunk The 1130 it's in the Chicago. Yeah, the Didn't gambling for me is it only works when it hurts. Oh, yeah, like it does. Oh, yeah, you can't you can't go in Oh, yeah, go $100 and then it matter. That's where that's that's the whole thing keeps going. I had to run this spring in March I won 16 straight bets and I was just going up and up and up I didn't lose a bet until like March 10th It was like the biggest thing people were waiting for my pick. It was incredible But the problem was every bet got a little bit bigger. Yeah, and then when I finished when I finally lost I was like, well, what do I do now? Like I gotta I gotta stay at this level. So it probably fucked me up in long run I learned it like The emotional part of it with blackjack because I love blackjack. Yeah, and there's this thing where you're You know you go to a table, let's say and You know people have different approaches, but typically I would start like small right right like just kind of like Oh, let's start. So I'm like here's a small bet and I'm winning and then next hand winning and you're like I'm not feeling anything push it. Yeah, yeah, because but like there's no charge. Right. So then you go You know, whatever. Here's a thousand dollars thing. You're like, you know, and then if you you win You're like, yes, yeah, you finally go. Oh, here's the emotion. Yeah, but if you lose it, you're like You don't want it. You don't want to sit at a blackjack table for two hours and be like I won 50 bucks. No If you guys been to Dana White's tunnel of chaos No, you see it So he's got his casino. He goes to Red Rocks. Yeah And we went there. I think it was like last year till one time. We talked to him about this. Yeah, you show up He's sitting at a blackjack table. You say what you want to win And then he plays for you. You win that money then you get up and go And so like you literally said I want to win $15,000. He's like, okay Gamble's it like I think I played three hands one 15,000 dollars stood up and left. He's like get out of here Yeah, and like but it's it will calm down. I think he was down like 300k at one point But it's like and it's like that feeling of like is this my money or Dana's money? I don't really know what's going on But then you just he just fought back and fought back and Dana keeps going So you guys gotta go to the tunnel. Okay, but what what is the what is the Allure forgot like Dana or Michael Jordan. I think he likes watching other people win too. He that's fun. He likes To win right that the the the appeal to him is that he is an elite Business man. Yep, who has had massive wins right like we're talking Bit like billion dollar sales and like he know he he goes to these UFC events You know the gate is fucking six point eight million and you know, there's just many people Doing pay for like it's just it's a charge right because he's he's devoured success And so when he's not in that environment, he's just like This shit's lame. Yeah, right sitting around sucks. Right. So I'll go here And then if you if he if he wins that hand, he's just like fuck yeah, there it is again. There's that feeling of yeah I just want half a million dollars in two minutes. - Yeah. - Winning. - Yeah. - It wants to win. - Yeah. - That's Jordan too. - Jordan is like, right. - Yeah, exactly, right. Like, he doesn't have a gambling problem. He's a competition problem. - Exactly. - Yeah. - He just wants to compete. - He wants to compete, dude. - Where are you guys next on your tour? - Tom's on tour right now. - I'm flying to Springfield, Massachusetts right now. - Oh, I never mind Albany and Rochester. - I was like, there's a lot of Springfields, huh? - Oh, there's a few. - What a bitch, why didn't he drive? (laughing) - He was talking shit about you last night. - Massachusetts? - I didn't realize that-- - I didn't realize that-- - No, he thought it was Springfield a little long. - Yeah, I was like, the fuck's he flying for it? And why are we on such a tight schedule? - I don't like driving. - I got to watch a new show too. - Please do. - Yeah, please do. - Yeah, I've been watching Mobland. Have you guys watched it? - Hold on, don't talk about what happened this Sunday. I haven't watched something's up. So, hold on. - Have you watched Mobland? - Let me just give you a pitch on Mobland. It's basically, if they speedrun Sopranos in every episode, it's its own action movie that it's not really a lot of depth, but it's cool shit out. - It's almost as good as MegaMarco's show. - Really? - Hold on, we're not talking to you. I know you have to go. Hold on, Mobland's fucking amazing. - Yeah. - Real quick, real quick. - Tom Hardy hasn't slept. Have you noticed that? - Yeah, yeah, I think. - Two weeks in the show. - Where Mobland was in London. And it's on Paramount. - Paramount. - It's like a weird one to find. - Yeah. - I always forget it. - I just like, can you just sell it to Netflix? - Yeah. - We're done. Anyway, Mobland's great. - Tom Hardy has this weird thing where he's kind of does one thing. - Yeah. - And I'm there for every kind of. - He does as it. - I don't even think he's acting. - I don't think he's acting right now. - He's just like, he's Tom. Just be a fucking badass. - He's a, that movie that Havoc came out. - Yeah. - It's an entertaining movie. - Yeah. - Like yeah. - No, everything he's in is entertaining. - He's just a badass. - Do you think of, I looked at a house with Colin Farrell one time. - Okay. - He was looking at the same house at the same time. - And man, I could fucking. - That's a sick brag. - I could listen. No, it was not a nice house. It was for a sister. He was looking for a sister. - He was looking for yourself. - I was looking for me. - Okay. - I told Dr. Dre's house one time. - Are you serious? - Yeah. - I almost bought it. But then I was like, I don't want this house. It was in Woodland Hills. He lived in Woodland Hills in the same house that he bought in like 93. - Little, little fixer upper. - Well, it was weird. It looked like a castle. And I didn't know it was his house. And I pull up and it was a weird fucking house, right? And then the guy is giving us the tour and he's like, yeah, you know, the guy's in the music business. I was like, oh, who is it? He goes, oh, you know, I can't say who it is. I was like, okay. And then there's like really old shit. Like, you know, where you go this day that this needs to be totally renovated. Then you turn a corner and something's totally state of the art. What happened here? He's like, oh, they did this room. You're like, okay. And then the kitchen looks like it's 200 years old. And then the theater is like stated in your like, and then outside by the pool, they renovated a section where they had like a fire pit. And then I was like, dude, this is the most crazy. Like just, you know, piecemeal kind of thing. And he's like, yeah, you know, his daughter, she's going to college in the fall. I go, oh, it's Dr. Dre. And he was like, fuck, yeah, it's Dr. Dre. 'Cause I just like read an article about it. I go, this is Dre's house. And they're like, yeah, I go, this is terrible. And then he moved from that house to like this, the one that Brady had built in Brentwood. So he went from this house to a $40 million Brentwood estate, yeah. But it was a weird house in Woodland Hill. And he would dry, you know, you'd see him driving around. 'Cause he, for a gym, instead of having a house gym, he got a commercial gym in like a strip mall. - Yeah. - As a personal gym. - That's awesome. - What a flex. - You'd see the knee. - Look at your flex. You have a gym. - Yeah, I know. - You have a crunch in here. - You have a plan of fitness. - You have a plan of fitness in here. - Basically, it would be like if he bought though a planet fitness and left the name, planet fitness, there's like, no one's allowed to come here. - Yeah, right. - Just sheer place. - Yeah, that's awesome. - He would have like the people, he would always get mad if people were parking in the gym spaces. 'Cause they're like, there's no gym members. - Yeah, like it's just you. - Do you look at this tom and do you go, this is what YMage could be? - This place? - 'Cause tom, have you ever been to tom's studio? - No, I haven't. - But it looks a lot like an abortion clinic. Like it looks like people just, when they walk out and no one's smiling, they're like, ooh, boom. - But this place is, yeah, I mean the one rule, I made two of this place. They everyone has to show up. Everyone has to show up to work. 'Cause like, there's a lot of times where you don't, you know, like if you're blogging or you're doing, you come and do your podcast and you leave. I was like, everyone has to show up because the magic comes to my face, come to my fucking face. Hey guys, a birdie boy entertainment. Huh? The fuck work from home? You don't work from home means? I'm not working today. I know you're not allowed to say this, HR. This is fucking bullshit. You show up to work because being there is the fucking grade of art. - Well, especially in our line of work, like you can't do it on Zoom. - No, you can't. It sucks. Zoom sucks, dude. - You have to be in the mix together. That's where everything, the magic happens. So I'm getting a, it's too bad you guys came now. If you came weak later, I just bought an industrial soft serve ice cream machine. - So, we're gonna upgrade some shit. - That's my dream. - I think we have, we have some fun at our, dude. We have a, come on. What are you talking about? - No, it's cool. It's like going to the dentist. - You're walking scared and you're leaving. - You're like going to the dentist? - No, no, it's, can you throw a ball around? - No. - Well, first of all, we don't have the size. - Well, I'm just asking, can you, if I came to your office, I was like, Tom, let's have a catch? - Oh, we're, we're, we're, we're. - No, we're good. - I want to get over any his head. - No. - When you break something. - When you have a catch. - Into the, listen to me. - No, no, no. - No, no, no. - I was like to see a video of you having a catch. - You know what I mean? As soon as I fucking get back. - No, no, he is, Tom is, they call them liars. Tom, if you go in, Tom has, I'm gonna really break apart your, your studio. First of all, you can't walk in the door like you could here. No, you can't walk in the door. You gotta go. - He's called security man. - We have security man. - And then a, a twink comes out. What's his name? - Dan, a Tanner. - Tanner comes out. - And he's like. - Oh, hey, oh, hey, cool. And you're like, hey, is Tom here yet? No, he's running late. You know what, coffee? He's got your coffee. And you're like, cool Tanner. And then, and then, and then all the branding is so that you know, Tom isn't racist. It's just black people paying it everywhere. Like it is, it is. What are they, Kobe Bryant? He's never watched a fucking Lakers game. He's like, he's got a mural of Kobe Bryant in the fucking studio. And then some Latina checks, right? It's like Tom grew up in LA as a cholo. And then, and then, and then everyone's scared. You ever go into like a rescue, everyone's scared. - Everyone's scared. - Everyone's scared. - They're in a place where they rescue puppies. And the puppies like, ah, ah, ah, ah. That's Annie. Then you see Chad. (laughing) Zona was like, oh, I want to touch, I want to touch, I want to touch. That's the whole fucking place. - Is he Ryan's? - And Ryan's now. - Ryan's right by the door. - Sounds pretty true. - I mean, there's, the guy, he works there too. Ask him. - Yeah, but he's right by the door so we can leave and you can get drinks in his office. - Ryan, could we have a catch? - Absolutely. - Okay. - Where the fuck would you have a, - I can't. - Actually in multiple places. - Oh, wow, we got multiple catches. - I'm gonna send you a super cut. - I have one here. - Yeah, I have one. - Hey guys. - What kind of all you want to use? - Whatever, tennis ball scotch? - No, no, no, no. - I want a catch, I'm all sort. I want a lacrosse catch. - It may be a frisbee catch. - Toilet and baseball catch. I want all these catches. - And then I'm gonna show you what it's like to work in a fucking Dennis snakes. - Okay, first of all, you know what his fucking place is like, right? - I mean, I assume it's just his house and he makes everyone go there. - Well, it's a house that is like, I'm like, we're yarn collectors getting out of it. Talk about, you know what I mean? - I just farted! - What if it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, - It is such a fucking chick thing. It is the off, they would first all, if, if they even visited - It's like a Portlandia sketch? - Oh no, if they visited here, they would, they would, they would basically sue you guys for essay, just for existing. They would exist, they would exist sue you. It's the complete polar opposite. It's a bunch of broads just sitting around being like, you know, I think it's a good idea. - How do you fucking do this dude? - You need to hire a couple of barstool people, man. - We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go, we can throw it your way, they, they will ruin your life. They will ruin your life. - I have none of, what's old Canadian? Oldie. Oldie? I've, I've none of that energy in my house, I want it. - Flapjacks? Flapjacks. I want that energy in my house. - He's a gem and a trash man. And we just like, we had him on one streamer like this guy, we have to have him. - He moved here. - No, he's, he still lives in Toronto, he's got a wife of two kids, but whenever we need him, he comes down. - Holy shit. - Dude, I got it. You can edit this out if you need to. I got it. - What? - You know how I've always wanted to adopt a Down syndrome dude? - I don't, I don't know. - Yeah, I want it, 'cause that's not oldie by the way. - No, and I know what I thought was Canadian, which is a little, yeah, you're getting confused here. - I'm gonna hire, I'm gonna hire an intern, a Down syndrome intern, just to break up the female energy. Dude, right? Dude, fucking positive is fuck. - Yeah, yeah. - Break up that female energy, I got too much female energy, I got too much effort. - Maybe we go for like an autistic guy. - No, I fuck autistic. - We got a, we got a, we got a, we got a few here. - Okay, take that out. We're keeping in. But I'm like take it out because no one will take it out God damn it But no but like I'm so tired these fucking grown men saying they're autistic and you just got to deal with a rude dude And you're like you're like oh, so I'm on your page you tell me everything and I just can't disagree no hold on You know I'm talking about it. No, I know a few people like yeah, it's fucking exhausting Yeah enough enough anybody who has any like social quirk that is not positive Yeah, yeah, he's autistic. Yeah, he goes I'm autistic and you're like I don't think you are yeah, right? You're kind of great. You're still like talking to me. Yeah, yeah, you never got into what cars you in the cars now What do you mean just gambling? Yeah? I I dream of someday like getting some old cars. That'd be cool, but I don't know shit about cars I watch are you like a real estate guy though? No, no, you don't like a place somewhere magical. No, no Just take a whole case. I'm as simple as it gets. I don't really change Just gamble Steak or fish steak. All right, uh, what are we doing? Are you garbage? I see chains though you got chains on you I do I have a couple. Do you have? This actually was you guys know ron one of one of the most talented guys. We have a bar So he got me this. This is the same the gambling scene hasn't really helped, but that's also trying and then this is a This is an asteroid that my wife has a matching one from they they mind an asteroid in Africa Bro, you should get a massive medallion That is an iced out actual big cat like a puma That should that would be shit. I don't have a big cat that lives here. Can I can I pick you on Savannah Ma Savannah cats? Do you know what Savannah cats are? No, bro Sounds like a problem. Again, I don't know I don't know if there are a lot by the way You know that because you don't work with no because because me and him have the exact same musical taste. Oh, did you have you gone to the sphere? For dead and of course, yeah, I went last two weekends ago. Those are my fourth time. What are you a dad? Yeah big time? Are you being fucking serious? Yeah, I don't I know that I don't know Are you like are you like are you like wait? Is there anything else about you that we don't know? Oh, I mean, it was There you out there me not say okay, okay, okay Brent It knows Bert. No Brent if that was what you're gonna ask wait. No You're gonna ask me what my favorite keyboard is is Brent the 80s. Oh, no, I thought what I was asking wait art Top five favorite dead songs and and don't go you got to do it changes so much Right now Warfare at Althea Althea crazy fingers Help on the way slipknot Franklin's tower. He's gone. And he's got standing on the moon Jesus Christ. Can I tell you what a lyre John Mayer is He's the man, but watch guy Be time watch guy maybe the biggest. Yeah, maybe the biggest To last year when I went to the sphere I just posted a picture being like, you know, this is awesome He DM me is like hey come come to my green room before the show tomorrow night and hang out hung out in for like 20 minutes Cool sky ever. Yeah, just like one-on-one. It was awesome. That's awesome. He is the man. He's awesome. He's bold mayor. I got to go in four minutes. Hold on How do you do this? We should make a trade you get like for like He's gonna sell me in a second He's gonna sell me in a second and then we can go to therapy together. Yeah. Yeah, well then we do the podcast at the end and we talk about it John would sell me and do you see what I deal with they know you see what I deal with No, I actually would think we should try we should do that Yeah, you should we should absolutely do that you doing a podcast with mincee and me having to have Burgess in the office you'll learn a lot about mincee. Yeah, yeah, well, he'll tell you Everything By the way, I it's no it's no it's not we we connected so quickly. Yeah, I know you guys are the same So you were talking to yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like he was going off of Billy Strings and fucking wife And he's been fired. He did he did a live show on he has a live show wake up mincee and the show landed on the first of the month and he celebrated by singing bone thugs in harmony. Yeah, and Decided to do the lyrics Call you got fired for a little bit now he's back. It's a person that Wake up wake up. Yeah, he just went right through it. I'm looking for John Mayors. Oh all the words. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh wow. Yes. Yes John Mayors says Althea was his yeah, the introduction. Yes, it was it's not It's never I'm just saying it's too deep of a song for song. No, I believe it just I don't I can't okay I'm I'm stuck on the fact that you get introduced by the dead on on one of the songs we never listened to anymore For a lot of people it was touchy gray. Yeah, by the way, I'm I'm I'll even go deeper and say that I now rediscovered How great of a song touchy. Oh, yeah, that's the best part of that is you just keep like my favorite song shift from week to week Month to month. You find a new show you find a new song. It's the best. Are you going to the ones in I don't think I'm going to be able to make it because schedule So bad they're doing a grateful dead 60 year anniversary in San Francisco in August. Yeah, Billy Strings and Sturgeon Simpson Do you do you like do you like addables and yeah mushrooms? Yeah, yeah, nice. Do you like DMT? No, I can't say I've done a lot of DMT And you want to hit a real quick? No, I'm good. The vape pen is the best thing ever. Yeah, the DMT one. Oh, okay, incredible. Yeah, yeah I'll take your word for it. I'll you want it. No, I'll take your word for it. That's what taking your word for it I just I just I believe you here's the thing 15 minutes. You feel like you're going to die or be paralyzed And then you come back and you're like holy shit. I'm still alive. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah you guys are I think you guys are kind of bored if you're just casually doing DMT at last night Gonna find something else for you. Hey, I want to say thank you It's the coolest thing about the industry that we're in is there is a there's like a shared camaraderie and and to show us around this place. Yeah, and it's it's amazing and We specifically built like extra podcast studios for exactly this like brand new Marshall came with Cam Newton and then he Brand new Marshall came back like four days in a row just doing his show every day I was like taking a piss of the urinal and he was just standing next to well, okay Yeah, anytime you guys are here, you need a spot really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Thanks guys. Thank you very much. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week [BLANK_AUDIO]