Tom Cruise's Killer AI (with Dylan Carlino) | 55

Welcome to let me say this. Sorry, I just want to get back to our job. Yeah. Great. Perfect. Well, as you can see, I'm wearing a fun top. I love when you do that. I feel like I'm that one, um, Pedro, that when she's like touching that little feather ring. Yeah. Yeah. Is that you to yourself? Yeah. So that's my way of saying happy Friday. I wore this in your honor. Yeah. She said a complicated top to honor the gaze of my life. That's beautiful. Yes. Well, this one specifically. Yes. Yes. How is your pride month going? It's not great. Hunter. It's day two. Oh, so you saw J.Lo. I saw J.Lo bumping purses with her back-up dancer at the AMAs bumping purses. That's what I say. Mm-hmm. Clink, clink. It pissed me off. I just feel like if you're going to commit to a bisexual bit, open your mouth, prove it. Stand on business. Okay. Open your mouth. Stand on business and strap me, J.Lo. If you're really, if you're really by prove it, I'll be home tonight at six. Six o'clock. That's a cool girl. Wow. We're out of here at five. It will take me an hour to get home. Wow. Wow. So you're not saying rimmy after. No. She'll be sad to hear that. Um. Wow. Okay. So J.Lo was not doing enough for you. No. I mean, that hunter DM me a photo, uh, J.Lo on Instagram, legs as wide as they could ever be leaned back in a chair in a big pant. She's wearing a big pant pant and Oxford shoe, I'll platform Oxford shoe. And hunter said, no text is forward the post itself. And I said, she got me again. I'm back in it. I know, but I like want her. I knew there was something in that photo for you. I knew it. I knew it. Yeah, I need her to strap me yesterday. Because of that photo. But that time she was rude to me. Um, we were together. And that's all the same. Oh, okay. Yep. And I said, I like that. Bad attitude. I'm a woman. Come here. That's why we work. That's why we work. That is true. That's why we work. Come here. Yeah. Um, okay. Well, my takeaway of the J.Lo AMA's performance is one random first random. And just then like after she announced her afterwards, um, she announced her residency, like a short residency in Vegas. And I was like, okay, now this is like making more sense. Um, the, oh, like, like the peg making out with a woman. Oh, Vegas. Yeah. I know what we're going next. No, no, no. Why is she doing it at all? Um, and then that she was dancing to Kendrick Lamar's. Which Kendrick Lamar's song was it from some one of the songs from G and X, which was funny. But the funnier piece of it is that reminded me at that time that, um, it was at the Super Bowl. Not the one that he performed at a different Super Bowl. She went with Ben Affleck and they were in a box and she was like getting her entire life to all right. And it's like no one else in this box in the shot was dancing just J.Lo. Moving her arms all hard. I was like, wow, it's just so funny to see J.Lo making like dancing to a song about cultural appropriation. A shanti just stood up. I felt it. I felt it. That's why I can't get enough of her. That's why that's why she loved that's really my sister. You're really right for her. What can I say? She's like, she's like the problematic aunt in every black family. It's like, oh, in every black family. Here she comes. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, oh, here she comes. Then she gets started. You're like, okay, we'll time to get the party started. Like, let's get loud. Yeah. I will say one of my favorite things about J.Lo is her not drinking but having an alcohol brand. Oh, yeah. That's very me. Yeah. Very me. Yeah. Very me. Delola. What a formal name. What a bad idea. No, I love it. Listen, it makes me laugh. Look at what I say. She's full of bad ideas. Just like me. I don't have a note. Okay, what are we talking about this week? We are talking about mission impossible. Oh God. I love a deadbeat dad. Hayley Bieber's new tax bracket and the billion dollar purchase of Road. And we're getting girly with social media star and comedian Dylan Carly-No. I'm already exosciited. I'm already star-struck. But, sorry. Let me just say this. Let me say this. Are you looking for a home for your worst opinion? Are you a hater first but a lover of pop culture second? Consider this a glorified group chat. But we're not calling you out. No. We're calling you in, babe. It's a safe space. Two talk shit. But, of course. From Wondery, I'm Peyton Dix and I'm Hunter Harris. And this is Let me Say This. Let me say this. Let me say this. I don't even. I honestly can't tell if I was doing the Mission Impossible song or the incredible song. I have no idea either. Well, I guess the mom will let us know. Tell us in the comments or don't. What I'm getting at is that we saw Mission Impossible number eight, the final reckoning. So they say a man named Tom Cruise, Everett of him, who cannot die and never will. And an AI named the entity whose days are numbered and a key. It's about a key. Oh, can I say a complicated key? The key took it for me. That complicated. The Catholic key. And thank you for saying that because I said, oh, this key came from the Vatican. She came straight from the Pope's house here. If you if you've seen the movie, this key is listen, don't ask me somehow. This key, which has like two honestly, probably weekend. Scissoring. They do kind of scissors. The key has two pieces that kind of lock into one another. And that key unlocks an AI hideout. And the AI is planning misinformation. Oh, and there's submarine. And there's also a man. Who wants who has the key. But he will mission impossible. Yeah. But he also has a USB drive that he wears as a necklace. Yeah, that happens. And men jewelry that happens. Yeah. Oh, God. And Tom Cruise. Let's say it on three needs a haircut. Oh, yeah. Before we get there, though, I have to know your mission impossible. Or are you like locked into the series? Are you new to this? I'm not into this. I'm true to this. I don't love mission impossible. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Tom Cruise performances or my favorite Tom Cruise franchise. Yeah. That's. Hello. Top gun. Not my favorite performance, though. That would probably be eyes went shut. Or a few good men. Or Magnolia. Or. Color of money. Anyway, come back. I. I'm a big Tom Cruise. I can tell I had a copy. But I might. Most shake the table. Take on mission possible. Yeah. That I love mission impossible to. Which is like the most. The least popular. Oh. I think directed by John Wu, but that's I really like I think people need to tandy Newton is in it. I think people need to revisit mission hospital too, but I don't think I saw six I think I saw half of seven I did see all of eight was not really that I don't know I kind of felt like this is it yeah, what did you think I will for the record have never seen mission impossible before I checks that 100 10 minutes before my movie started just being like oh, I should have mentioned by the way. But I think that's fine actually. Is it you know they do a lot? of like, especially in this movie, they show a lot of old clips, they bring a lot of stuff back around. Yeah. So you get as just as much information as you need going into it to have it like connect. Okay. I felt that, but then I was like, maybe there's lore or moments that I wouldn't be like feeling big about because I didn't watch any of the movies before. The only thing I was feeling big about was Tom Cruise was fine as hell. He was fine as hell. Listen, one thing that I love about Tom Cruise is that he is vain. We need to listen. I love male vanity and Tom Cruise said if I'm going to have, if I'm going to be in the scene, I'm going to have my titties out. - Tom Cruise is a pretty bitch. - I know. - And I know both of my notes to ask you 'cause knowing that you had seen it before, is he always is naked? - No. - Not always this naked, but he, in the last few years has like regularly, like shut off his body. - Okay. - You know, oh my gosh, like this, who told me this? That in Top Gun Maverick, did you see Top Gun Maverick? - Yeah. - Okay, well they have like that scene where they play like football, yes on the beach. And Tom Cruise, like all the guys were like working out, like wanting to look good on camera and Tom Cruise made them shoot that scene. Like once the beginning and then at the very end of shooting, whenever and also like stop working out as much and he had like body tight was like, let's do it again where I look the best for a shirt this time. - Oh, he is me. - No, like, sorry, I can't, I can't hate that. I really can't hate that. - And his top was off in his titties where I'll religiously in this film, which I wasn't saying no to actually. I just was curious about. - Yeah. - But you know, I have to say something. This is a movie, sure, about a man and a key mission and the world ending. But really, what mission impossible final reckoning is about, is Katie O'Brien's forearm. And was that the like summering, she was in low-wise waiting, the summering. Oh, wait, that was her. Yes, and every time she's like, "I don't recognize her." I'm like, "Put your arm down. Well, don't put it down. I'm looking." But it's like every shot the arm is up in a way that it actually doesn't strategically need to be at all. That's what I - How do you talk like that? - I don't know, but I loved it. I said, "Oh, I love a classic man." - Yes. - (laughs) - I love a classic man. - Yes. - (laughs) - (laughs) - I love a classic man. - No, Virginia song. (laughs) - But I will say like, his character in this was kind of, - Exactly. - Mr. Melchika. - Her severance character. - Exactly, he says severance character, yeah. Like, okay, I mean, I'm so wrong in everything. - What's wrong about that? - Nothing, I guess. I love Mr. Melchika and those turtlenecks. - Yeah, I love a mustache too. I love a man. - And it's pride, relax. Okay, with all this man talk, Hunter. - Man, oh, does Pride not speak to men? Who love other men? - Tremel is gay. I actually forgot about that. - Speaking of gay, is it your terrible at pride? - Yes, that's the whole point. Are you just new to this relationship? Have you met me? - Geez, Louise. - The erasure. - Okay, wait, I do want to pivot though. - Yeah, let's focus. - Speaking of being gay, is this always so campy too? - Yeah. - I was watching the, oh, it's always like that. - Yeah. - Okay, 'cause the plane fight scene where Gabriel, the villain, is like giving the most like very classic TM villain smile while like stabbing a knife through a plane. - That was crazy, that was really crazy. That was scary to me. - You were scared? - Raise your hand if you were scared here. - I was scared. I was like, I don't like knife play like that. I was like, ooh, this is, this is dicey. - Yeah, that's Tommy's gonna be fine. - But I did like Tom Cruise holding on for dear life to not one plane, but two planes. And then his parachute, parrot not launching all of it. I was like, oh, wow. The only thing that I did not like about, I liked that as like a final set piece. However, and this is maybe controversial, I wanted like more like fight scenes. I wanted more like hand-to-hand combat. - Oh, instead of weapons, so they're fighting a lot. - I know, but I just, I wanted a little bit more. I, the gun stuff was like not doing it for me. - Okay, I can hear that. - Especially because it, maybe it was like two or three movies ago, Tom Cruise famously was like handcuffed hands behind a pole and he like launched like truly body rolled himself off the pole onto the floor and got his handcuffs off and like was back in action. I hate to quote you, but I love a man. - I love a man. - And Tom Cruise is gonna be everything a man needs to be. Also, doesn't he do like most of his own stunts? - Yeah. - He flies, have you heard of Tom Cruise before this? - No, I don't get it for today. - But I'm not seeing him in this. - I've not seen him in this. - What are his other movies I'm thinking about? I guess I've the only thing I've ever seen him in was Tom Gunn. - Thank you. - That's the only Tom Cruise movie I've ever seen. - No, no, no, no, no. I mean, sorry. I meant like an action movie. - Oh. - Well, what other Tom Cruise movies have you seen? - Jeremy McGuire, my mom's favorite movie. My mom was really into Tom Cruise for a long time. So I had to be an ally to her. - Okay. - Until the couch moment and then she stopped. - And I'm glad he brought it up. - Wow. Someone had to. - Do you think that he is still a Scientologist? - Yeah. - Yeah. - All of this like kind of like always aren't really a Scientologist anymore. I'm like girl, were you born last night? - No. - He clearly still is. - Yeah. - Also clearly has not seen Surrey. - Oh. And it's not to be father's day. - Well, you saw what he was asked about. Father's in the red carpet. - No. - No. - Girl, you're so lucky to have me in your life. - I love it. - I'm sorry. - I know that about him. - It's, I'm so happy I can bring this to you. On the red carpet for Mission Hospital Premiere. A woman for me, believe it was E. Asked him, what are your plans for father's day? Get the very end of the interview. And he said, you know, just making movies. Just movies. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. (laughing) He said, you know, didn't talk about his two other children, who he still is close to, 'cause they're, I think, still in Scientology. Didn't talk about Surrey. Didn't talk about his own parents. Just movies, just making movies. - You know, and I know her, I don't even care. Because didn't she try to get her name changed? - She did. - She did. - She just by Surrey Noel. - Her middle name. - And also, I think her mom's middle name too. - Oh, well that's, I don't know about that part, but it's definitely her middle name. Do you have any favorite Tom Cruise lore? - Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to ask. - Okay, well, you know about the Cruise Cakes. - Nope. - Jesus Christ. Okay, Tom Cruise famously sends, like, I'm saying like maybe a hundred cakes. They're like coconut cakes, I think. They're supposed to be really, like a coconut cream cakes to his like friends in Hollywood, every Christmas. He sends them to like, Kirsten Dunst gets one, Dakota Fanning gets one, Yale King gets one. People always talk about them, the Cruise Cakes. They come out every year and they're so good. Never had one personally myself. If I say the right stuff, maybe they'll get one. - Yeah, careful where you go from here now. - Yes, I also, well, of course, the Nicole Kidman of it all, they're divorced. Yeah, yeah. What else, one time I wrote the story for Vulture, I should find it again, like, 28 unsettlingly nice Tom Cruise stories. How he'll like go above and beyond, like do nice things for people. 28, he was high, higher than I would give him. - Well, oh, and then the other thing, a really good Katie Weaver article from like two years ago in the New York Times magazine about how she was like trying to find Tom Cruise 'cause he was living in London and he like couldn't be seen. It was, it's a really good story. You have to read it. And now his audit to arm is romance. - Do you think that's real? Is that real? - I think it is real. - Actually, I don't know. For some reason, there is a pipeline of, from Ben Affleck. - Ben Affleck. It's like the from Justin De Kelley, but the from Ben to Tom. I'm like there's actually a straight line connecting those two and that makes perfect sense. - My favorite Tom Cruise lore though, is that there's just one paparazzi shot of him and Katie Holmes. They had the exact same side part in there here in the same New York Times. - Oh, I love lesbians. - Yeah, no, that's very new code. That's very new. - I don't know the photo, but I'm gonna need it immediately actually. - Oh, don't worry. I have it readily available. I love them boys dressed like their girlfriends. It's so fun. - I would ask you your Tom Cruise lore, but it sounds like you're, you're loading things for the first time too. - Well, you know what? You know what, my favorite Tom Cruise lore? - It's not lore at all. It's from like two weeks ago. When he pointed that to that man's empty popcorn bucket. (laughing) - That's screening and air them out. - Was that his finish on your popcorn already? - Actually, literally I did finish all my popcorn before mission was possible. For the previews even played. - You did. - I was sitting there. I got, we were talking about a small. - Did you see the tweet that someone was like, and if he did that to me, I would have said and you're at a cult. - So what? - So we're even, oh gosh. Okay, I do need to bring us back to mission possible to the issue at hand. Because there was one part of the thing that I could not stop thinking about. - Yeah. - So it's kind of like a mutually assured destruction thing. I'm trying to destroy this AI and president. - Angela Bassett. - Angela Bassett, thank you. Said. Or like all of her like military guys or like we can destroy with our like nuclear power, these like other cities in the world. But we should just to be safe. Just for one of our own cities. - Yeah, so no one ever goes. - No one ever goes. - And they're like, okay, well we have a list of cities for you. 10 cities. Like American cities that like are up for grabs basically. So what cities do you think were on the list? And what, and be careful. You know Chicago hates us. And what cities, what city do you think they chose? - I thought I forgot Chicago hates us. - Well they hate you. I'm gonna fuck. I said what I said. Anyway, I was just a bike host to a lead over here. Just let me know. - I love the Midwest. Okay, no, what's it easy? - I was gonna say, I think they picked Chicago. I'm not even joking. I literally was like, this will be my answer to Hunter. And but I forgot Chicago hates us. So now I'm like scared. So now you're treading lightly. - Yeah, I'm like shit. - She's having a lot of blim. - That is. - Or DC. - Oh wait. - It can't be DC. - It was me girl. - She said actually, I'm done. (laughing) - That's how I would want to go to. I'm like, I can't do this dress anymore. Blow it. (laughing) Fuck it. That's so funny. It would be one of those things too that like everyone like in government is like an underground bunker somewhere. And it's like wait, so everyone here is like a dead. But like, what's that one guy that really old guy who keeps falling in Congress or Republican? - I don't know, like Lindsey Graham survives. - No, I got her. - Oh, see. - No, okay. - What do you think? - What do you think? - It would be so funny if it's like, okay, well they can't do New York, obviously. They can't do anywhere in California. 'Cause like too many like rich, powerful people live there. - Of course. - And they can't do Chicago because of me. - Of architecture. - Right. - Right. - The bean. (laughing) - It's a beautiful city like on the water, you know? But like, it's like they can't do like Austin. Every like London's bombed. And it's like, wait, and the U.S. only lost Austin Texas. That would be so crazy. - I know people ride for Austin in the way they. - I know, but you know, Dallas, what do you think? - I don't know. I was really thinking I was like, maybe like, what about Miami? - But I think, no, because people like the party. - And also-- - And also-- - Yeah. - Well, it would just be so funny if like, the most like random city and like, okay, like, Tepeca, Kansas, like. (laughing) Everyone be like, I mean, I guess it's fine. - Yeah, like the prime minister is like, I've like, UK is like, I just think we all, everyone has a little bit, a little bit of beef with Chicago. So that's why I thought. - There's gonna be Tucker on your back. - No. - And it's for many already, it's pride. So, add another, I don't care. - Mission possible, smash your pass. - Pass, sorry. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I didn't even make me want to press play on the other, maybe, maybe episode two, maybe the second one. - Yeah. - Just for Dandy, nice to see her. - Yeah. And all of her costumes in that movie are so Reformation-coded too. It's like all titty tops. It's so funny. - Well, that makes me want back out of it. But yeah, I didn't love. - Yeah. - Well-- - Sorry. - Yes, we'll just go back to watching The Eyes Wide Shut. - Well, there. (upbeat music) - Peyton, look at this girl on my face. - Why is he home? - Because it's rare that I'm star-struck. - That's true, actually. - No, you know. - It's been usher and it's been who else? - Oh, desi from girls. - Desi from girls. - Yeah, yeah. And today, because we are joined by Dylan Carlino, who is an Austin-based end-of-comic writer and actor, as well as the host of the Feeling Girlie podcast. And I know him because I'm feet planted, but seated. When I am struggling to talk and I see, if I were a girl, my name would be Amanda. And my boyfriend would be named Charlie and he'd be cheating on me. - Yeah. - Like, under sits up straight. - I sit up straight. I'm like, sending it to people I know. I'm like, oh, my goodness. Dylan, thank you so much for being on our show. - Oh, man, no, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Also, my relationship with Usher with my mom's best friend growing up was like, sickly and sexually addicted to Usher. And we'll talk about him constantly. - Yeah. - So whenever I think about Usher, I always think, oh my God, Joanne's man. - And Hunter's still going through that, by the way. Like, so many such cases. Man, he such cases. He came back on me. - No, I mean, he's hot. Usher is hot. - As hell. And if anything, you're gonna do the Super Bowl performance. Oh my God. - Mm-hmm. - But that's not why we're here today. We're here to talk girls. My favorite subject. But we have a question for you. We have a question that we asked about. Are you a lover or a hater? - Of girls at TV show? - Of, of, in general. - Or women in general. - In general, but we'll get to that. - Do I identify as a lover or a hater? - Oh, a lover. - Mm-hmm. - Why do I never trust somebody that says lover, hard stuff? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm nervous. Wait, tell me, what is it? What's the difference? - No, okay, you're shaking the table. But I'll be like, what is the difference? Because wow, how long do we have? - I feel like only a true lover can be a big hater. You have to love someone like a hater. - Do I talk shit? That's the answer, yes. And actually, you know that I take it back. I like am a hater. I really am, I think, because I hate almost everything that other people do and it bothers me. - Okay, and that's what I knew. Because when you said lover with no lips, he's attached. I was like, okay, let's get the real answer. Let's get to the truth. - We're all on the internet. We're all haters. - Yeah, I love what I love. And I love that with my whole heart. There are certain people that I would obviously die for. But yeah, everything else actually I do hate. - Okay, heard, heard as well. All right, are you a lover or a hater of GirlTalk? - I love it. Oh my god, GirlTalk raised me. (laughing) I see what you know how to do. - GirlTalk is like, it's like ruining my relationship with men because they don't know how. I like didn't have any male friends until I was like 25. There's so many things I learned about like talking at like a girl than I had to stop doing with my male friends. Something that men don't do is, when somebody walks out of the room, you don't talk shit about them. And. - Oh, you're nasty. - Wait, boys, don't do that? - No, they just go like, they just leave and they go like, no, happy who is here. Or they have like no comment. Where like, I'm used to like a girl walks out and you kind of all look around and be like, and you believe that she brought potato salad like she knows how I'm allergic to raisins. (laughing) - Like what was her vibe? - No, that's so crazy. - Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, yeah, I've been in like rooms with men where a man will leave the room and it's like, we're all gonna talk shit about you. Like, hello. - No, they don't do it. - They don't do it. - Quite as good. - In dairy. - That is, that is shocking. - Because then you're just holding it in. That's not right. - No, that's why men are so mad all the time. That's why straight men have so many problems. Well, that's why there's a male loneliness epidemic because they're holding it all in. - Absolutely. - They need to talk more shit. - Well, you know how to really sad? It's that they don't know each other well enough to talk shit about each other. Like, we are friendships. We, my best friend can be in the room, she's acting weird. I know she's acting weird because her and I were having a guy into a huge fight and she always acts like this and she's done it for 15 years. So when she walks out of the room, I'm like, you know, this is her issue with men and the way that she lives her life. And like, this is bothering me because she's now affecting my life. A guy could, men like, it has to be dark but like, kill themselves and all their friends are like, we had no idea he was going through it. It's like, yeah, 'cause you guys don't talk. - Men kill women and then we have to, yeah, and women. But like, you know, I think we're actually having a very important conversation. - No, I'm glad that we brought this to the space. Okay, I need to know how do you come up with like situations in your videos that are so like highly elaborate yet so specific? And do you like outline? Do they just come to you like, what's your inspo? - No, I have like, severe ADHD. And so the, if I was a girl thing is something that I've been doing with my friends for years. Like, and it was always my friend's favorite bits. Like, girls, I would see a girl do something and I would either be like, if I was a girl, I would do that or I wouldn't do that. And I would kind of do a little thing for my friends and they would love it. And then one day I was actually put on socials but no, when I'm doing it, like the first video I ever did, it was if I was a girl I'd flush my tampons down the toilet and it was because every time I walked into a bathroom, it says don't flush anything other than, you know, for the paper, I would think, oh, if I was a girl, I would flush my tampons down the toilet. I know that's about me. But I did come up with the phrase and then like the initial, you know, premise and then everything else is just improvised. - Wow. - And then I look at my messages to see what girls are begging for their names to be used. They send me hundreds of messages. - Please do a clear and then I just don't say anything and I grant their wish. (laughs) - Wow, this God complex, that's crazy. - You know, I love it. I have a holiday to you, actually. - Yeah, I like it. - Wow. - Keeping them on the scene and being like, - I got you, clear. - Two weeks, see how it goes. - I got more traction if I did like reply comments doing their names, but it seems like so much work to do that. - Yeah. - I'm just like, I'll just pick it and do it. Or if girls come to my live shows and they ask for their name, I'll do it there. - Yeah. - But other than that, no, it's, it's all improvised. - Wow. - Speaking of the clairs, do you have any favorite characters that you've built? - My favorite girl, I did one. It did really well. I did this girl named Sierra and she smells her boyfriend's dick when he gets home late. (laughs) - Yes, I'm familiar. (laughs) - I think that one's my favorite. I also do love a girl named Veronica, who goes by Ronnie. You know, things like that. - I know, I do love the ones where you're like, my name is like Elizabeth, but it would never be Lizzy. That's gross, like something like that, like a gross nickname. I love those. - I like like hard stances, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I'm not familiar. (laughs) - Yeah, I'm not familiar. - Tell me I'm here between us. - Well, well, someone asked you. - Okay, I have a question for you. As a comedian, when did you start to think that you are funny in a way that other people are not funny, that you have a unique skill and gift? - You know, it's funny. I mean, I literally, you know what? I was just like a fat gay kid for so long that like, I was like, well, nobody wants to fuck me, so what? But everyone's always laughing. And then I became obsessed with stand-up and I was like, well, I was working at a gas station so I was like, well, I would love to do stand-up and then I just kind of started doing that. And then once I started doing it, people's reactions have always been like, wow, you're look pretty good at this. And then I was just like, oh, I guess I must be naturally gifted. - One of the chosen ones. - Gifted from the guy. - Yeah. God didn't give me a good body, so I had to learn how to make people laugh. (laughs) - This has been a matter to a lot of clairs in a few years. (laughs) - Yeah. - Okay, I don't know if you're familiar with the Reese Witherspoon clip. Women's stories matter. They just matter. - I wasn't, I thought you were gonna bring a car to a rust video where she was like, one of my favorite videos. - Now the holy tech. Her screen brought up. 'Cause I'm an American. - I'm an American. - I'm an American. - And I'm American soil, okay? - And she didn't talk about that for too long. And I was like, you're gonna get this on the record. She's like a boy that doesn't do it. - You know what's great about that? Is that she got that video. And I think within 48 hours, she was on a daytime talk show with her brown hair being like, I have police officers in my family. (laughs) - She is really the mistress of Four Quadrant Appeals. - Yeah. - Like, she hits every box, every demographic, every political party, everyone loves Reese Witherspoon. - Oh, I just watched Sweet Hall of Emma for a game. I think one of my favorite movies of all time. - So good. - I think every day this week I've looked in the mirror and said, what, they went on a soap dump, a tagly, wiggly sense I laughed. - And it's, I love white trough representation. - And I love your lived experience, because that is so crazy. - I love white troughs, it's my favorite thing to, you know what's so funny is that the girls come to my shows and they'll be like, please do a black girl name. And I go, no, like there's no way I'm gonna do it. If I was as a white guy started to do like, black girl Latino girl content, I go, no, Drew a follow will rip me up. I don't even know her and I'm scared of her. - Yeah, there's no way you're catching me with that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love her. - Yeah. - No, I like that because there's just like a type of white girl that, I don't, it's just like, oh, she's on some other shit. She's doing something different. And that's like, that's like your girl, I think. That's your like, very specific area of expertise, which I appreciate. Okay, tell me, have you been at every sleepover ever? Like how do you, how are you so observant about the ways that women talk and what we talk about? - I did, yes, I was at every sleepover. I did not have male friends until my 20s. So I always joke that I was like socialized female because it was like, even the teachers, when they like, remember they were like, separatist by the gender, they'd like, hey, we're going boy over here, girls over here, Dylan, you can hang out with the girls. Like I had no male ally. - Giving you the green light. you're like, we know where you're going anyway. - Yeah, so I just thought, I had the realization where I was like, oh, this year, in the last year that I was like, oh, I'm different than other gay guys, not to be like that, because I thought we were all kind of like this, and now I realize most gay guys, you know, they start with girls in high school, and then they go to college and make a bunch of gay friends and then drop all of their girlfriends, and then they just hang out with each other. I went right from my small town, lived there until I was 23 with all of my girls, and then I started doing comedy and just became friends with more girls, and like straight guys. So I never had that like drop off period, but yeah, no, I mean, that's just how all my friends back home talk. And it's great because it's always like the secrets and like the you whisper things, and it's all like you're talking behind people's backs, but it's also like coming from a place of love. I just think the way women communicate like that in secret behind men's backs is like so funny. - Yeah, yeah, and remind me, where are you from again? - I'm from small town, Massachusetts, the Berkshire's. - Oh, where do renders from? - I saw I use this. I'm from two towns over from where during this from, we used to swim next to her house. It's called Green River. - Oh wow. - You ever see her? - No, never seen her, never saw her. But the first time I was ever written about in a magazine, she was on the covers, the Berkshire County magazine. - Oh my God, what a slide, sisters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, sisters in many ways. - Yeah, I also wanna, you know, speaking of the Claire DM or Claire comment, do you ever get really crazy requests from fans or is it just, you know, do my name next? - They'll sound like, I hate to say this. There are some girls that are like, here's my life story. I think it'd be great for if I was a girl. And then you read it and you're like, honey, this is nonsense and makes no sense. So no, also they're not fun when people want to introduce specific ones. Like I was on cameo for a while and people wanted me to make tailored ones. And I was like, this is like way too much work for like $28. (laughing) - Oh my God, I forgot about cameo. - Yeah, yeah, I can't do it. I also, it's like not fun for me unless I'm making it up. If you want me to do like hyper-specific situations, it's boring. I will say on my podcast, they send in crazy relationship stuff where I go like, did you read this email and still think he's the love of your life? - And honestly, probably. - No, I'm forcing the videos of straight girls. I've seen the videos of you giving advice and it's, there are some crazy situations. Like, the number one is just dump him. Dump him, don't ever talk to him again. - Yeah. - Every guy, there always a key's the love of my life. I'm like, you just said he has a five inch penis and basically hits you. What are you talking about? - Not, oh my God. (laughing) Oh my God. - No, sorry, I'm dark. - No, no, no. - Save space because there's no one well in this room. - Not even, not even that room starts, no. But I know. - No, I have ADHD self-diagnosed. - Same. - We actually, okay. - I actually mind with the doctor diagnosed. - That kind of, you're both sick. - Okay, that kind of reminds me of the scene in girls where he like Charlie wants his table back. And she's like, don't hit us. That's what people do when they hit us. So that reminded me, again, speaking of ADHD, shows about girls. What are your favorite shows about, it doesn't have to be girls necessarily, but about women that you love, or maybe even pull from. - Oh, so this is actually huge. So my number one show, I think what really kind of switched my brain in my head. How old are you guys? - 30. - Exactly. - Oh my God. So wait, did you guys graduate high school in 2013? - 2012. - Oh my God, I'm 2012 too. That's why we're deeply connected. - Okay, thank God. - Yeah. - That's why we're mentally connected. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm deeply connected to anybody. It's me, you two, Phoebe Bridgers and Maggie Rogers, and what a great group to be a part of. - It's just us. No one else graduated in 2012. - No, no. - But my stepmom bought me an eighth grade DVD full season of the 1994 show, My So Called Life. - Yes. - And that is telling the story of a 14 year old girl going into her freshman year. She's dating Jordan Catalano. - And Brian Crackow, remember him. Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Yeah, he was also another member of show's. Felicity was in that, he played a rapist. - Yeah. - And. - Hard. - Those shows I swear to you, My So Called Life was like, that was like who I was as a person. I like, that was everything to me. - Yeah, no, that's possible. - I have grace and anatomy tattoos. - Tattoos. - Yeah. - Like what? - I have picked me, choose me, love me on my arm. I'll be a force of nature on my leg. I mean, I was 19, but I still stand by them. - Then maybe you are a lover. That's a real lover thing to do. - That is a real lover thing to do. - And that's a real lover tattoo. - I know. Well, you know what it is. Is that like, did you guys watch grace and anatomy? - Yes, no. - But I stopped watching when Sandra O'Left. - Oh, good for you. I respect that so much. I stopped during the COVID season, but I will start again, 'cause I will finish it as someone who, you know, I'm just not sure on the runs regardless, 'cause she said the show is gonna end with Ellen, and now Ellen doesn't want to do it anymore. And they're still going on for money, I'm sure. But I love Meredith, right? She's probably like who I really, Meredith and Christina is probably my favorite people to ever be written. But I love that tattoo because it was like, not really necessarily about being like, I'm in love with you and I want you to date me. But it's like that was seen like, Meredith is very repressed and never talks about her feelings. And I love that it was like her being like, all right, fuck it. I'm just gonna actually say what I want for once. And that's what the whole speech is actually about. And yeah, I love that. So I got a tattooed on me. And it's like iconic. - Oh, you're a lover. - Yeah, you are. - I love it. - I got a real lover. - Or maybe you're both. Maybe you're by. That can be, that's allowed to these days. So happy Pride. - Yeah. - Happy Pride to you. - Happy Pride Month, absolutely. Also my very movies practical magic. - Uh, 'cause you have a pulse. - Oh my God. - 'Cause you're a lesbian. - Oh my God. - And the most lesbian. - I'm devastated. I'm not a part of the second one, which I have no claim to be a part of it, but I'm devastated that I'm not. - But as a real lover of it, yeah, I can understand. - I mean, you and a billion gay men just said the same. And me. And I'm in the room with you two being like, out on the couch. - Yeah. - I'll play a candlestick like shit. - Yeah. - Okay. - Are your favorite names? And do you keep a list of names in your phone to go to? - No, I'm like really bad about that. Like I think I, I think I've done a clear before and I did another clear yesterday. I forget. And I'm like the, I'm like such a type B person. There's, I literally just go to my DMs or sometimes I'll just look up like girl names. (laughs) - Don't leave. - No. - But no, there's no organization, watch whoever in my life. It's everything. It's like, I'm like a bad serpent. It doesn't write anything down. I'm like, got it all up here, don't you work? And then I'm just making mistakes. - Yeah, everything's wrong. - But favorite names. I like, I said Veronica who goes by Ronnie. I love girl names with boy nicknames. That's probably like-- - Yes, yes. Like a Charlotte Charley. - Yeah, we're Andrea Andy. - Yeah. - Cute. - Oh wow. Oh, okay. I'm, I'm gonna write that up. - But I did say if I had daughters and I don't want kids at all, I would have three daughters and their names would be River Lake and Rain. - Oh, good man. - You need to be behind bars. - In the name. - In the name. - You're gonna be bullied by us. (laughing) - Lakes my favorite. (laughing) - I actually, I do fuck with River Lake. I was like that. I like that one. Now we want to do a little bit of a rapid fire. Pop culture, it girls. And tell us what stereotypes do they fit into? - Okay. - Number one, tape McCray. - Tape McCray is interesting 'cause it's like she's blowing up but we don't even know who she is 'cause I don't actually don't think Tape McCray is you know who she is? Like I think, I think she's incredible but I think Tape McCray in five years is going to be epic. So she's a girl who hasn't gone to her full power yet. - Yeah. - She's also a Canadian. - She's a strong Canadian. - Oh, I hate that. (laughing) Don't you hate when some of your favorite people turn out to be Canadian? (laughing) - You're like, never mind actually. I don't wish her well. - It's like when you find out it's when you really like it a twin too. You go, I'm done. - Oh, that's weird. - No. - You have to come clean about being a twin like up front. - Well, I was an adult especially. - Yeah. Okay, next up, Chapel Roan. - God, I mean, Chapel Roan. I like, I hate to be like this but I was like somebody who was listening to Chapel Roan like four years ago. And so, yeah. So to me it is a little bit of a sort of subject but Chapel Roan is what am I supposed to say? Not handling fame well. (laughing) I don't know. I respect her so much and I respect that she wants her privacy but I go like a certain point, honey, you made her deal with the devil and it's over. You're gonna pay up with a privacy. - Yeah, yeah, agreed. I hear that. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter. - I don't know. - Sabrina Carpenter is like the most popular girl at school that you're kind of like, what's happening? - Mm. - In a good way. - You don't really look at what's happening. - No, you know, like, I like Sabrina. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't know personally. And this is no shade to Sabrina but you know when you were in high school and the girl who was like super popular and you're like, yes, she's pretty but like, why is she the leader of the group? - Oh, interesting. Oh, I love her, but I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna, I am not gonna jump in in front of a car to save Sabrina Carpenter. (laughing) - And who would you jump in that car to save? - Yeah, that's not what I was gonna have. - Oh, I would like call a 10 car pile up to save Maggie Rogers on the other hand. - You writing for Maggie Rogers? - Actually, is she the table for me more than anything? - I'm basically working for Maggie's team. - I was just gonna say Maggie's team. - I know she went to Divinity School and hired you to watch her back because the fall off of her is something to witness. - I love her though. - I love her too, she's incredible, but she made great albums. I love Maggie. I just, there's to me, I just like, she's my number one. You know the person that sings for you And you're like, oh, this is-- is me. Also she's an incredible voice and nobody ever talks about that. Yeah, I just I loved her first album so much and then the follow-ups have been except for that one song. The one that felt like spring. What song was that? All of them kind of, to be honest. The one with the David Byrd was the music video. I can't remember what it was called, though. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's where I am. Yes. Oh, that's that was a song. Oh, my goodness. That is true. I'll tell you this right now. When we get off this, you listen to in the living room, her newest single that has came out and offer album if now is then and tell me those don't make you feel a certain way. And those are her two very new songs. You know what, I'm open-minded to a Maggie Rogers head. I think that would be where we went. I'm happy to be here. I'm different. You've been planted here on this day. I love it. I love it. What is Maggie Rogers here? I am. Oh, gosh. Maggie Rogers is like, gosh, she's like that girl that's like not the most popular girl at school. But then like, it's like, I always joke that Maggie Rogers is like normal girl aesthetic. And then you really, but like you stare at her too long, you're like, oh my god, she's the most gorgeous talented person in the entire world. She's like a secret like took the glasses off. Take the glasses off and hang out. Yeah. Oh, my god. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I like that. And then okay, last one. Lana Del Rey. I would never speak ill of Lana Del Rey. And nor did I think I've answered a single one of these questions correctly. There's no answer. There's no right answer either, but there's no wrong answer. Here's what I'll say about Lana Del Rey. She's gorgeous. She's talented. I never identified with her or her music simply because of this. Do you know how there are certain girls that guys just like love? Yeah. Like Lana Del Rey is one of those girls that like I have a friend Eden back in Portland who is like gorgeous. But I've like literally watched guys like jump out of their moving cars to buy her like a coffee in the morning. Like Lana Del Rey is like that. Like guys die for her. And she's like effortlessly. I'm not like that. I'm like Taylor Swift. You can feel me trying it. You know, like like there's no allure to me whatsoever. You're like hey, I'm I'm here by the way. I'm here. I've been walking for 45 minutes if you haven't heard me. Okay, we have to close out with of course. Oh, yes. Yes. What do you think stereotypes are of Hunter and uh, Peyton. Yeah. One of those girls named Hunter Peyton. What would your story come to you? Oh, number one. They're definitely cool girl names. That's the thing. I don't. I a girl named Hunter I'm not going to be honest. Has the ability to believe you into an inch of your life and will and will and he has and thank you for seeing me and has. And Peyton isn't going to do it by herself. But if she stands next to Hunter, you know she's throwing a couple. That's right in there. Coming over the shoulder with the NC. And that's what I said. Absolutely. I love it. No, Peyton Hunter is a very cool girl popular boarding school names where you're like scared. Okay, tax bracket. Wow. I love that. Oh, you guys are giving you guys are giving you rich to me. This is this is how it feels. This is how other girls feel when they get their horoscope red. Yeah, I just I need you to know that. Thank you so much. Dylan, thank you for being on the show and working people follow you. Follow me at Dylan P. Carlino. Dylan Carlino, although he has 168 followers would not give me the name. Uh, so it's Dylan P. Carlino. And then I have a podcast feeling girly and which is that feeling girly pod at Instagram. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it. We are back on the believer beat. Do you heard it here? Actually not first, but maybe like fifth. Hayley Bieber has sold road to Elf for a cool $1 billion. Billion with a B. Billion with a B. You know, I'm happy. What was your first reaction? Thank God. No. No, my my reaction was um, period. My reaction was what did Justin be proposed? My my reaction was and what about it? You know, I love I love road. You know, I do. I'm actually using road today on my lips and on my moisturizer. Oh, yeah. The glazing milk. Well, keeping them in business. Well, well, again, just about a billion dollars from Elf also keeping them in business. Okay, I have long thought that road is in like a, you know, over-salt treated celebrity skincare market has felt unique in that it's a very small product claim and we have really nine products that they focus more on skincare and that it doesn't try to be it doesn't try to do too much. It's like, this is just a really good simple moisturizer, a really good simple cleanser, which also the the pineapple cleanser does smell very good and I'm not usually into like smells or like sense. Um, the lip, peptide lip treatment, it does get grainy. It gets it congeals with the quickness. Some of them do some of them don't. I love the look of it. I just don't love that happens and it's something that's been complained about and not been fixed. I know. I know. I know. But I also, um, I do like the the the pinky, the pocket blush. Oh, yeah. The pocket blushes are are very good. Um, very good colors, very good. And also there's like a couple colors that can use us a bronzer on like certain complexions too, which I think is like, I love like a multiuse product. Um, but I think that like also Haley is, you know, that's my sister I'm sitting by her. She's a very good influencer. Yeah. Like she really uses her own stuff enough. And that's like something that other sub rebrands, um, don't do as effectively. Well, the gospel is like 99% of celebrities, especially ones with beauty brands use Mac. Yeah. Yeah. Not as Mac or Chanel or estate like an estate lot. Like if you're getting photographed on a red carpet, you are wearing that. You're you're very much not wearing your own products. But I do think because Haley does so much of her content very like on the girl go like, yeah, like outside of home. Yes. Yeah. It's very shot on iPhone boots and like not in a bad way in a way that's like accessible and makes her palatable to a lot of young people. Totally. And again, because a lot of it is skincare, she can do it all. Like she's always prepping her face before like a full glam moment with the road stuff. But I also think that the products are like, you know, pretty like I have like acne skin. They're very safe. I've never gotten like a breakout from it. And I think that's, you know, it definitely builds upon the foundation that like Glossier laid like the Glossier kind of model. But I think ultimately Glossier, like their offerings have become too much. And I it the quality has lit. Glossier laid the launch like three fragrances this year. Yeah. I would agree. But they smell really good that white one. The, I don't know, it's called but the white one smells incredible. But I want to kind of go a little bit away from the products because I do think that there's like a larger conversation that's really interesting to me about the appeal of Haley Bieber. And what a billion dollar sale around yes, a nine product line. I do think there's a lot of room to grow. And it's like you can see that there's going to be an investment in this brand that makes it even bigger. And not like rushing to make all this product. But I do find myself at odds with the rise of this clean girl aesthetic, the rise of like and return to a lot of like white heteronormative like I think it's just interesting to like look further at like what this means and not just like the products themselves, which are good. But like the person behind them and why Haley works as a really good ubiquitous influencer. Yeah. Well, you know what I'm going to say. I don't know. She is radically bland. It's the it's like the brain is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. She does have a kind of blankness like an essential blankness that allows you to project a lot of like ideas and also close, also fashion choices and aesthetic choices on there. Which is again what makes me very good influencer because she has like she can do like a full glam and then also like like lots of color. And they also like they just kind of like clean kind of bella Hadid bun. But doesn't have that like high fashion kind of like severity to her look. But again allows for it to be like ultimately pretty relatable. Like beautifully basic. In a time where people are like Pinterest sporting personalities. Yeah. But I also like that she's not so like Sarah Plain and tall. Like she is Sarah Plain is all you didn't read those books? No. Like she's on like the the the milky like milk made dresses. Oh yeah. She's not that. Yeah. Like she not. Well, I almost said she's not giving tried wife. But these days I don't know. She's not getting tried wife. A tried wife can't sell a billion other company. Well, you know, say that. Nara. Sorry. Whoa. Okay. I'll put the gun down. I'm sorry. I didn't know you like that. But it's not a smith. Just crazy. That is crazy. One thing that I do think. Okay. Because you know inevitably you can't say the name. Haley Bieber thought someone sang Selena Gomez for lines later. But this is interesting. So rare beauty Selena Gomez's brand. Yeah. Used to be like the number one selling at Sephora. So number one selling brand at Sephora. Like their top like most profitable company. Most shelf space. And now after you can poke just after the Bieber news broke, quote, though still one of Sephora's top brands rare has started to slide in the rankings. Last month, a person with knowledge of Sephora's business told me that rare is, quote, the biggest makeup share loser at Sephora in the past 12 months. And from what I've read, also in puck that Selena Gomez has been exploring a sale of rare. However, because rare now has like so many products. So many different colors. So many different categories in beauty. Um, that it is ballooning the price so that it's really difficult for her to sell this and part of the road sale that's so genius and that's so like impressive, um, Charlotte Palimino, um, the dude did a really good legend video about this too, that because road only has like nine products. There's like so much opportunity for growth. Yeah, that makes it like really, um, enticing for a brand like elf and also something else is that Elf is mostly like a like, um, uh, not like drugstore, but like target, like that level. you know, company so that I think it keeps road in a very like sweet spot price point where it's like this is an expensive lip gloss for like a little bit more expensive blush, but it's not luxury. It's like you're paying for like the Dior, which is another really smart play from the road team, which is not like a lot of like I mean the it's like less expensive than like the Kylie brands I think and like the Kim makeup beauty brand. I forgot about her. I forgot not Kylie, obviously, but I forgot about those. Remember every airport, every JFK, every LAX, a Kylie lip kit, slam in the front door. Oh my god, those untouched. Yeah, but I mean, I have to kind of close out with of course, I looked immediately at Justin Bieber's Instagram when I tell you a man will learn because why was his post in exact a photo, the same photo that Haley posted and then right after was just a screenshot of her caption, no caption of his own. And you know what that says to me? That says, well, damn. That says here. So it's like can't say anything, right? Because he can't. I said good work, Haley. Get him in line. Yeah, well, you just gonna copy you go and paste, you ain't going to go to nothing. I was no razzle dazzle. She said, actually, give me the case of this account right now. She said, but it is. I've had enough of this. Oh queen. I ate that and now he's about to go spend some of her money. Yeah, happy Father's Day. It's not Father's Day at all. Well, that's close enough. We're rounding up. Well, that's it for this week. As usual, we are two online, so you don't have to be Tom Cruise, if you're listening, let me say this, which you should be. I'm going to need you to get a haircut king. I need you to go to the barber. And we just like, just a quick trim of the back and a little bit of the sides. That's all. And Justin Bieber, if you're listening, let me say this, which I'm sure you are. I'm going to need you to get in that studio king. Get off Instagram and get in this too. Yeah, it's time to work. But he doesn't need a haircut. I like the bus cut on it. No, no, no, it's working. Always. Yeah. Follow us on socials at, let me say this pod and @paintindix and @hunterh. Let me say this is hosted by me, Hunter Harris, and me, paindex production services by DCP Entertainment. For DCP, the producer is Ryan Roncoma. The executive producers are Adele Coleman and Fleas Leon. Our theme song is by Scott Velasquez. For Wundery, Eliza Mills, the development producer. Our managing producer is Taylor Sniffin. Nick Ryan is our senior managing producer. Our producer is Kate Young. Our senior producer is Brian Taylor White. The executive producers are Aaron O'Flaherty and Marshall Louis. Hi, I'm Nicole Feltz, global fashion news and features director at Vogue and co-host of the run-through podcast. Each week on the show, our listeners get an all-access pass into the world of Vogue. On Tuesdays, join me as I interview influential designers like Calvin Klein, Rachel Scott, and Simone Balotti. On Thursdays, join Chloe Mao, head of editorial content at Vogue U.S. and Choma Nadi. British Vogue's head of editorial content as they explore fashion through the lens of culture with guests like Doja Cat and Margot Robbie. Listen and watch the run-through with Vogue, wherever you get your podcasts, and Vogue's YouTube channel.