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Thomas Lennon w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

86m 18s

Thomas Lennon w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

David Wayne and the speaker reflect on their long-standing collaboration on a musical adaptation of Eddie Murphy’s *Trading Places*, which has been in development for over seven years. The project draws heavily from Murphy’s comedic legacy, including stand-up routines and film references like *Delirious* and the iconic "island guy" bit. The conversation blends nostalgia with humor, recalling their early days in comedy groups like *The New Group* in the 1990s and the era’s influence on sketch comedy. They discuss famous (but likely apocryphal) anecdotes, such as Murphy’s elevator story with bodyguards, and the absurdity of stand-up culture. The duo highlights the slow, challenging process of creating Broadway musicals, comparing it to the long development of hits like *Hamilton*. Personal anecdotes about stand-up, fandom, and 90s pop culture—such as links to Michael Jordan, Nick Cannon, and Bob Fossy—add depth and levity. The discussion ends with a lighthearted tone, celebrating the enduring humor and connections in comedy, even as new projects like the *Trading Places* musical evolve. The exchange underscores the value of shared stories, inside jokes, and the enduring appeal of classic comedy.

Transcription

17851 Words, 90223 Characters

English
So you're in town promoting a new David Wayne movie. I was actually in town. I also wrote a musical trading places. I wrote the musical trading places. Wow. You're like you have a sweet writing resume. I do a lot of stuff. What made you want to resume? Class it's yeah we took the song by Usher and we made it into there you go shit you guys just have everything you just look at everything as it comes up yeah this is the future man I know both those guys actually know all I know three out of four of those which who do not know I only want to know is Acroid what you know Eddie Murphy I've been to Eddie's house over already going yeah oh shit I didn't know we're going I would have puffed up my cheeks and stuff yeah I got to put any Murphy's house one time was very cool what do tell all right oh what do you want I was at a party was at Thanksgiving no no it was just a little quiet hangout just you two getting some notes on a script that never happened whoa no orbit two it was obviously it was Norbit two which did happen oh it did really isn't Norbit just to spin off a nutty professor showed up no he's just being big again how much do I get if I win all the questions you get a glass weight why picture of any Murphy's house oh there it is why I've never seen a photograph of it it's like a resort all I know is it is like a resort and I think they got you know like heating a pool that big damn like Epstein without the guilt imagine heating a pool that big I mean these are Norbit problems I don't know okay that seems like it's right I was not invited to the pool area to like splash around or anything I was kind of they're working okay what was this very low that's what was the script you're working on uh can you say yeah I can say it never it never happened we were writing a version of the incredible shrinking man uh for Eddie it was a remake of the old idea for Eddie and the idea was that he was a Vegas you're not gonna cross through frame with this thank you your love handles are really killing me good lord it belt is ruined um it's not the worst wine I've ever smelled but Joe McHale's wine? Joe McHale brought it Joe McHale's uh she is first wine enthusiast I didn't know that of the highest order McHale's yeah uh McHale's a expert on wine you must know that baby oh yeah he's good we were working on uh it's pretty good if it's from McHale it's gonna be good I play his brother on a show we don't have to plug the animal control correct ding ding ding ding so we're like low on that show too my buddy my real comedy self very funny dude I'm like a cute kid he's a very cute kid he's a real cute kid yeah we're gonna talk about the big the man just dressed in my outfit wow it's a dress it yeah are you flattered you creeped out what's the feeling I like it a lot I would wear that if you bought me one so we're out at Eddie's house we get out to Eddie's house to get to Eddie's house to for starters there's a there's like a gate like Jurassic Park uh you know like to keep out of T-Rex or something like that so we get to the gate and the guy asks you like um he's got his hand on his clock whoa that's security guy it's not like lightweight security guys you know sometimes they're security guys like Trader Joe's security or something is like not a big deal sure when you go hit how were these pictures existing when you go to Eddie's house there's a google maps the guys already have their hand on the weapon damn and they're like what are you doing here and you say like I'm going to see Eddie Murphy and they're like why whoa yeah you're like we're working on yeah I'm not in a book or something we're uh we're working on uh we're working on a uh a version of the incredible shrinking man for him and they're like do you think that's a good idea yeah not a gun or like yeah and we're like he's like a vagus magician is like David Blaine so everybody thinks he's doing it as a bit but it turns out he's been like cursed by a real magician they're like okay if you think that works we'll let you and you've got to pitch the security guys whoa no they did ask what we what was our business with mr. Murphy damn good for them and then you get to Eddie's house and then there's another gate the size of Jurassic Park wow and that one just kind of opens I don't know how that one opens and then there's another armed guy I think and then the Tony Montana what a fucking third boss if you're playing like if it's like final bosses of going into Eddie's house Jesus is our senior home as the Jewish guy coming to America no way or senior halls hanging out at Eddie's house is is he 100% yeah whoa third third boss we meet right before Eddie was uh our senior home what did they did it sexual chocolate remember that that church group in uh training places is that what it's called that's in uh actually although coming to America coming to America although it has two characters from training places the Duke brothers reappear remember that's right and Randolph show up again that's funny that's supposed right yeah yeah and uh uh Eddie gives them like a pile of riches yeah sit on McDonald's bag we're back yeah nice little callback in a movie which is you don't see anymore can you think of one other movie callback um to a completely different franchise where they reference a completely different movie where a character appears you got one I think in that I have one 48 out no Beverly Hills cop cop not so many they do a shot and both to find out of a him walking by in a leather a guy walk might a leather suit and it's a red leather suit he laughs at them walking down the sidewalk yeah that's a great reference I would not have gotten that so it seems like most the most of the references are Eddie reference Eddie's referencing other Eddie movies well we couldn't get Eddie so what's talking about I forgot there's a guy in a delirious jumpsuit come on what's survived with Eddie when you when you're very cool it was very cool uh there it is uh uh oh yeah so he's laughing maybe that's why it's fun joke of it uh oh oh it's slightly homophobic I think that's homophobic do not put on his old stand-up because that whole fucking holy shit yeah Eddie and he comes out and he was very cool yeah and I said uh I said uh it's an honor you know I said like the way you would meet royalty and Eddie went like mm-hmm correct like you didn't say correct but the vibe was like that's the perfect thing to say to me we went to the Netflix brunch and he was there and he like levitated in and the whole you know it's Sandler Letterman side fell all these guys yeah were you there no I was not at that one all right it's interesting cuz it's old you this is track listings for delirious yeah I don't remember that I don't remember I don't remember these by the titles I don't either titles don't there's no f-bomb track titles don't remind me of the bits as much as you would think yeah as I know all the bits I remember hearing this I mean I remember consuming stand-up is just like audio as it yeah and it was like kind of more intimate kind of cool it's better I think it's better there's a couple records I can do probably the whole record oh yeah I'm gonna listen to skanks for the memories as a kid and being like this is the greatest thing I've ever heard it's incredible yeah I can do almost all of the best of Bob Newhart if I probably do wow driving instructor I try to get through a Cosby I fell asleep I can do the call I can do Cosby's driving in San Francisco oh yeah the one somebody put a stop sign at the top of the restaurant to put to go to street in San Francisco called lab bars and somebody put a stop sign you just said that we're the binoculars we got another one wow that's a great cause so if you know one thing about me I think it's at my Cosby's none there is no equal just the later work yeah yeah I can do I can do most of Bob knew the best of Bob Newhart I hit me I mean you know you do Abe Lincoln versus Madison Avenue but it's Abe you changed four-score and seven years ago to to 87 no no Abe say I know I understand that they mean the same thing but oh wow if it ever comes up Abe you were a rail splitter and and then an attorney so you nobody quits nobody quits being an attorney to become a rail splitter Abe whoa I think that won an Emmy that a couple that album I've lost three Emmys guys or Grammy what happened I don't know the state no no no no no no no what are they for there here's when Reno and I will want to start getting shorter we got into a new category which was like short form Emmy we never really got nominated in the normals yeah you know in the normals sure yeah it was as soon as we dropped weight we dropped a ton of weight and we got into short form how long what's the minimum or maximum rather I think a short form has to be like under 12 minutes or something oh wow okay so if you're ever looking to try to get an Emmy go short form I didn't know that yeah yeah yeah we'll secret it's the same size Emmy if you get it can we talk about the state yes I used to watch that in high school yeah that's a crazy group of talented be crazy group interesting cats um how'd that start and how'd you get it on MTV that was interesting so I should do a plug for the picture here and then we don't have to plug it again yeah all right we're doing it David Wayne's got a David Kenmerino and David Wayne of a picture coming out uh called uh Gale Dottry and the celebrity sex pass check it out check it out is that all right uh it's fine by me do we check out all the trailer plays it's actually great she's great that's Kerry Kenny oh Okay, Carrie and I went to theater. Can we talk over this as a please so Carrie and I met yeah muted if Carrie can and I went to theater camp. We met we were 16 years old so I've known Carrie Since 1986 87. Wow. Yeah, and we've worked basically together almost You know, not every day since but as close to every day since as you could as you could really do Because then we did so we went to NYU We did we were just a regular comedy group called the new group We actually got founded because the guy who started our group had been kicked out of different comedy group And NYU called the sterile yak Todd who's in the front of that picture there he founded the state And then uh, we were actually we were called the new group and we were you know That's a lot of guys way too many way too many there's 11 members of the state Whoa, where's show alter show there is that he's there backwards hat looking look how angry we all look I know what's the 90s it was grunge. Well, we're also pretty angry Man that guy look how angry Joe looks in the front we look because pissed off Joe's in a ton of movies and we I would say that we were Weirdly we were a sort of an we're not angry people. Mm-hmm, but I think we we viewed ourselves as um Cool. Yeah, I think we viewed ourselves as like a sort of a punk band or something You know, we felt like we were a react like we were reacting to Sort of what we thought was sort of mainstream That we what did you look at the like I don't want to be we didn't want to be SNL right that era for sure We wanted to not be that um In fact, we'd rather I think the reason the you know the work holds up because we Instead of doing if we ever did something that felt like it was covered before we just wouldn't do it Nice, so we just ended up doing but that's why a lot of the stuff is just sort of is pretty absurd stuff that we were doing You know, but the 90s had a run of this it was like this kids in the hall mr. Show. It was kind of that a Ben stellar show for a show Living color to an extent still show Also hit some amazing Ever seen stillers True stories about Bruce Springsteen now it's fucking great sketch from the Ben stiller show It's always you know your hear stories about springsteen springsteen showed up he played for four hours He recovered my shoes like the stories just keep getting more amazing about like he he burst through the wall like the cool-aid man It was a great recurring character um Yeah, no, I'd say actually weirdly those four shows in particular are sort of of a A piece, you know, I mean, I feel like There's a lot of overlap in sensibility. I know between Bob and David and you know We're all we're friends with all the kids in the hall at this point in our life nice. I played Dave Foley and the uh and Kevin from kids in the hall has a musical about his life Well, I got to play Dave Foley Ken McDonald. Yeah, cuz Dave Foley passed So he did yeah, he didn't want to do it And he said he died No, no, no, no, no, no, you passed on the project. Oh, once you see the project. You're like oh, I know why Foley passed He wouldn't play this version of the bullet, but I was like yeah, I'll play that version of Dave Foley. Fuck it. Yeah, did you ever go out for SNL or no? I did not know No, I never did did you did any party of you want to who you always like fuck that probably loved it But yeah, you just never never came up. I met Lauren Michaels one time That like the village gate you know some other sketch show, but oh we were seeing I think a group called live on tape, but um No, I never went up. I don't know if I would have made it. I've never I don't have a ton of great impressions other than my impeccable bill cause because we a new heart rich I don't know. That's a new hard impression. I can just recite it. Uh-huh, but I've never I don't know how I would have done it at SNL audition, you know Yeah, I think you nailed it. You're a funny guy. Uh-huh. That's not always the full criteria. You play a good gay guy I do I guess you can cast as a gay guy a lot. I know that comes up a lot How do you feel about that? It's fine by me. I mean, I just seem you know, I'm not I've always been a sort of Bob Fossy Enthusiasm, I can see that little Fossy in there. Yeah, little Fossy. Mm-hmm. He's straight. I happen to be Bob was straight, too Yeah, yeah, he just sort of seems like me, you know, there's a lot of it. Yeah, but it's like it's like drama straight Yeah, yeah, yeah, drama straight. I'm theater school. I mean opening all that jazz is just all the women he's banging That's like a five minute montage of like let's get out of here. That is the crazy thing about all that jazz. Yeah Great movie. Oh, yeah, maybe the best maybe the best ending to a movie ever. Yeah, crazy good opening too with the pill great opening Yeah, when does anybody else made a movie where they're so Honest like he's right. He's telling you the story of how they fully want to play that version yourself going to die Yeah, by the way Michael Jackson stole everything from Fossy Pull up some of Fossy's moves And you know what? Black people stole from Elvis. I saw Seren and it is moves. It is Bob Fossy and a very specific movie. Oh, it's the movie of the little Prince Uh-huh. Oh, there it is. You got it. Look at it. This is Fossy. That's Fossy doing little. Come on This is a this is a ripen. He's ripping off Fossy completely. I do feel like the type of straight you are though I'm not here when this goes viral for you saying I'm calling it, but look at that. You're Everybody. He also does flash a lady, which is also pretty weird there. All right. It's kind of Michael I mean, that is uh, maybe I am gay man. This looks really cool. Look at the type of street You are gets a lot of women I think. Do you think? Oh, yeah. Probably sure because there's like a safety thing I think that you disarm them with your back in the era. Yeah, it could we'll never know I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy. And I'm not the only guy saying it. I'm just just calling it. This is the first time people talk about There's a lot of uh, uh, uh, New York Nick's gear on the show today We're in the playoffs. We're talking and we're talking Bob Fossy. We get a lot of ratings. Do you guys all day laundry? Now are we saying Beyoncé stole from Bob Fossy? Because I do not want to. Oh no, she that's different. That's very different. Oh no, it is not for it. No. Mexican. We're men of men of many interests, but I got to ask a question just but mostly Bob Fossy. We love Fossy. Yeah. His birthday is June 23rd's end of the day is my son. That's the way I know. Well, so I know your buddies with Nick Swartzson So I texted him right before and I said, what do I ask him? And he said He said to ask what's it like going in character to Comic-Con? It's something. Uh, so my feeling. Yeah, you're going as dangle. I do him some Swartzson and I do him together sometimes. Wow. Now, he's not he doesn't put on the Teraquals shorts and stuff. But my here's my thing. My thing is I don't do stuff. I don't really do anything. I'll go to the Reddit one. I go to the Reddit one. I can't read it one while you sign it and everyone will know my name. But uh, so I don't do anything halfway, you know. I love it. I do it. Look at that. Those are going to a fan convention. Be the impulse by, you know, you want to be that pointless candy that they get at the front, you know, the virgin supposed to go nuts when they say or you aged out. Who's that? Like the guys at Comic-Con, when they saw the real dangle. It does it doesn't have a certain. Yeah, it has a certain effect. I get touched by a lot, like a lot of old ladies. Oh, no, no, no, a lot of older ladies want to just kind of feel around a little bit. Oh, yeah, we want to let their hands do the talking. There we go. Look, they're saying, you're low-key fit. Like look at that. Oh, yeah. You kind of have to be to pull that outfit off. Sorry, Peters. But uh, I think you look great. Also, might look great. It's like 105 degrees outside in New York City today. It is. Did you wear it on the train here? Sure. Oh, you're, you're amazing. You want to go do frown later and I'll go with you. You meet, we go down to the West Village. You ain't never painted for a drink. You're just talking about faulty red wine, red wine, Louis, I'm part great. So those, I mean, the lines must be crazy. It depends. I'll tell you, if you ever have a slow moment at a convention, it's the it is the truly the long dark tea time of the soul. When you like, have a minute to just think to yourself and you're standing in go-go shorts. Oh, yeah. You know, and you're next to Danny Treyhoe. And you're like, Hey, Treyhoe. Do we, is this how do we end up? You're in the good section if you're with Treyhoe. I'm I'm I spend more time with Treyhoe at this point in my life that I maybe would have expected. They just throw, do you throw a sock in there or is that all natural? It's mostly natural. But I, well, no, what I, I will say what I do is I do double underwear. It's smart. I wear two sets of underwear and I just, I realize that at some point, like if you're in that level of small thing, just do double underwear. And you don't want a ball hanging, you know. That and there's a lot of just touchy stuff. Ah ha. Also, what if you dribble or something? I don't know. You're just like what? Double breaches. I get it. Has been a new thing that I learned at the conventions and I'm pretty happy about it. Here, here. That pose is humble. That's perfect. That's what you want out of a picture. I was walking, so I'm walking out of the convention early in the morning. It's, you know, 10 o'clock in the morning and a rascal scooter comes by and it's William Shetner. Whoa. Shetner's at the conventions a lot and I he's coming by and this felt really good. Shetner's zippin' by me on the rascal scooter and he goes great legs. I was like, fuck yeah, that was cool. That's impression three by the way. You're cuckoo. Let's get Lauren Michaels on the phone. Will you big start? - Trick guy? - No. - Me neither, but it's-- - Shander still has this like gravity tail. - When I see one of those, I'm like, oh yeah, this is great. - Yeah. - I think he's 100. - He's super old. - I think he's 96. - Whoa. - I think he's 96, yeah. - That is great. - And still with it, just wants to wait. - That's great. - He looks great. - 95, sorry. - 95. - Wait. March 22nd, 1931 till now. - So that says birthdays and like, you know, two days. - March. - Shit. - That's-- - I don't know where we are, what day is we are. - So when does this come out this year? - I'm sorry. - Are we in 26 or? - Yeah. - Peter's body is throwing me down. - Can I go back to trading places? - Yeah, I'm sorry. - I mean, what may do, I love the movie, obviously. I mean, that was a huge, getting it at Immurphy as a child was like-- - Yeah. - That was like, incredible, 'cause you get so many in a row. - Yes. - But trading places-- - I've been, you know, I was talking about this the other day, we're doing a musical of trading places. It's been a lot of fun, but when trading places came out and trading places in Beverly Hills got this run of at Immurphy movies. - 48 hours. - Not only was there no one in the world that famous right now, I don't know if there ever will be. - 48 hours of musicals. - Although slurs, a lot of rhymes. - But like, the amount of famous that Eddie was then, is that achievable? - No. - Now? - I don't know if it is. - No, it's too spread out. - When there was four TV stations. - And everybody saw in the movie. - Everybody saw any, every movie. - We were really more connected now. It's like, it's cool 'cause there's more of a middle class of entertainment, but-- - How did we see Delirious on like HBO? Oh no, we rented the VHS. - Wow. - We rented it 'cause it was pretty dirty. - You got that right. - You even think about movie stars now. - What a beautiful girl like you doing in the island's crying boot. (laughing) - That's number four. - So what a beautiful girl. You know, your girl goes to the islands and the guy swinging his dick. - Yeah. - What a beautiful girl like you doing in the island crying boot. - I do it. - That a girl throws her dick over her shoulder. Is that it, your owner? Is that the bodega guy? - No, that's Eddie. - Oh, that's Eddie. - Is that Delirious or is that, that might be you. - Oh, I don't remember that bit. - That's wrong. - That's blocked out wrong. - It's when your girl-- - It was great too. - Yeah, your girl goes-- - It was great. - It's got great moments. - The rocky bit is so far away. - That's it. Your girl goes to Jamaica or someplace and she meets the island guy. Yeah, it's great bit. - Great bit. - So it walks up with his dick swinging in the breeze. (laughing) - It's a beautiful bit. - Oh, you're just watching trading places. - I can make the, like, how does that-- - No, no, that wasn't real. - The way that worked is the guy who-- - The producer of that is the guy who used to own final draft, the screenwriting software. I know, it's a weird boring story. But he thought it would make his great musical. - Yeah. - And now we've been working on it for like seven or eight years. Music was take a real long time. Just ask our friend Bob Fawci. But boy, they take a fuck long time to get a musical going. - Really? - I thought movies were slow. - No, Broadway musical. - Oh, very, like, it's like being a passenger on an aircraft carrier that's like making a real slow left turn. - Right, for like a miles. So like Book of Mormon Hamilton, all that took forever to make. - Oh, yeah. - Some of those, you know, I don't know how long-- - I know they took a while. And usually, like, you sort of stand them up. Like, we actually, trading places ran in Atlanta. - Ah, yeah. - And then we did a huge rewrite after that. And now it's completely different. So it's all happening again. But, uh, did you want Blue Moon? - Oh, here it goes. - Getting older means realizing that the hangover starts before you even go out. That's why we love Willie's Remedy Plus. It's the premium THC infused social tonic from Willie Nelson himself. It gives you that social uplifting buzz without the downside of alcohol. Every bottle has third-party lab tests so you know exactly what you're getting. It's low calorie, low sugar. And it's got the blend of THC, CBD, CBG, and L-theanine that helps you relax, unwind, and actually enjoy yourself. Great for hanging out with friends, getting creative, or just taking the edge off after a long day. I mean, look, you know, Mark and I are drinkers. We'd like our whiskey, we'd like our bodega cap. 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And right now, IQ bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, your text drunk to 64,000. Text drunk to 64,000. That's drunk to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply, so you turn for details. - Those names Dexter St. John. - It's the St. John. - Mm-hmm. - You walk up swinging his dick. - No! (laughing) - What a beautiful girl like you. - Mm-hmm. - Any girl that's moving behind machine on your woman? - Bahamas. - Yeah. - She's a girl like you do it by the several years alone. (laughing) - This is the ID in front of us. We should be digging hell right now. And watch your friends. (laughing) - Girl, watch your friends. I'm gonna say, okay, now you have to think it over. (laughing) - With general hotel at your man's standing, they go over there and turn like you treat a woman like you're like a princess. (laughing) - A woman that makes love to you constantly. - Constantly. If he was my woman. - I'm not gonna be my baby. - Then he'd think of New York. (laughing) - That's not right. (laughing) - Still heads. - Oh my god. - You gotta be really good at stand up to rock that outfit. - Of course. - That is actually-- - If you bought that outfit. - I would argue. - This outfit's better than the red jumpsuit, I think. - Are you like the purple and black? - It's a little-- - I don't know, it's a little more subtle. - Yeah. - I mean, it's still. (laughing) - Paisley jumpsuit. - Yeah. - Oh, look. People debate which ones. - I think the red was sexy. - I'm going with the red. - I like the raw outfit. - The red was a little more-- - It was a fitted kind of better. - Oh. - But is that-- - I like the scarf a lot. - The ass and the red though. - Yeah, but look at that. The scarf hanging with the purple outfit. - Come on. - Yeah, all right. Now do you like the scarf? - He's wearing driving gloves. - It's fucking badass. Is he wearing driving gloves? - Yeah. - Is that in raw? He's got-- - No, yeah, in raw, he's wearing driving gloves. - Wow. - He heard that old story where the Eddie Murphy's on a elevator with like six of his bouncers, giant black dudes. - That is apocryphal. There's no way that story's true. - Well, I've just taught a story. - I've heard-- - I've heard-- - I'm trying to tie her life. - We got it to go. - All right, try it. - Tell it, tell it. - All right, tell it what you're doing. - So he's on the elevator with like, he's like in some LA high rise, going up to see his agent or whatever, one of these big ol' skies, grippers. And he's in there with six giant black dudes, sunglasses. They're all wearing black trench coats. And a blonde lady just happens to get in on like the sixth floor. Like going up to the thirtieth floor, and she's like, oh jeez, what the fuck did I walk into? And then she's just standing there and they're all surrounding her. And Eddie Murphy goes, get her. And she goes, oh my god, and she hit the floor. She's like, please don't rape me, don't hurt me. And they all start laughing. - Okay, here's the original version of that apocryphal story. - Okay. - That I've heard is that it's in a casino. And it's Eddie Murphy in a bunch of like his bodyguards. And the lady gets in and she's just one of a bunch of stuff. She's one of a bunch of chips. - Oh. - And she's going up to the room. And she gets in the elevator. and he says, "Hit the floor." And she drops her chips and falls down on the ground. And he said, "Hit the button of the floor that you want to go to." That was the original version of the Eddie Murphy story. - That makes more sense. - Which makes a little more sense. - A misunderstanding over a gang rape. I think it makes more sense. - It makes more sense. - It's a game of telephone. But I believe even the slightly more polished version is still not true. - Oh really? - Do we think that there's no, that's like to fill Collins in the air tonight. - Yeah. - Wait, what's that one? - Oh, you don't know this one. - That's an M&M, even talks about it. - Yeah. - Both of Collins in the air at a night. - I know the song. - You know the woman was drowning and he saw a guy and then Phil put the spotlight on the guy and the audience at a show. 'Cause he didn't save her. - No, no. - Do tell. - And that's how you confront him instead of just calling the police. - Wouldn't that, but that's where it doesn't, that's where it falls apart. - Oh, he's drowning a woman? - No. - Or is it also a gang rape? (laughing) - This woman's being raped at sea. - Oh, okay, now we're getting somewhere. - And Richard Gears, the only person who saw it. - And then a turbo comes out. - You saw it, too. - No, there used to be, we used to have like great stories. Like, you know, we used to have like apocryphal stories that we all knew. - Well, there was no internet. You couldn't look it up. - Yeah, you just had to hear about someone blowing a whole soccer team. - Right. - Or something like that. - That would be awesome. - Now it's like, have you seen this meme? - Yeah, exactly. - It's not the same. - It's not the same. - It's as spoken as our beautiful spoken memories. Like, Rockstar blows a whole soccer team. - Right. - Guy has turbo, but in his ass. - We used to have beautiful stories, we should hold each other. (laughing) - What about the Dave time? - Why did we tell each other such fucked up stories? - That's fun. - It was fun. - It's a story teller. - How much do you think Richard Gears would ask that too? - Somebody started both of those stories. - You wouldn't believe it. - Like, who's the person out there in the world that was like, wait, I got one. - If you can write Harry Potter, you can write that. (laughing) - What? - You think it was her? - I've never heard the Dave Thomas. - She got dumbledore in the gerbil? - What's the Dave Thomas? - I don't know, I can't find that. - Maybe it wasn't Dave Thomas. It was somebody who would shit on a glass coffee table. And he would lay under the, somebody would shit onto the coffee table. And he had got off on that. (laughing) - That's an expensive fetish. - Yeah. - You got to keep replacing coffee tables. - Hey, you clean it with that. - No. - I don't think it was, it can't have been the little guy from Wendy's, wasn't it? - Glass coffee table, I forgot the guy's name. - Danny Thomas. - Danny Thomas. - Danny Thomas. - Oh, who's that? - Danny Thomas. - He's like a Broadway guy. - Marlow Thomas's father, I'm not gonna get anywhere into this story. - There he is. - There is no way this story is true. And I'm not affiliated with him. - Well, there's apparently-- - There's apparently-- - With the story on the show. - They say Charles Lawden ate poop sandwiches. - Oh! - That was like what I think he was into. - Really? - Great actor by the way. - Witness for the prosecution, check that one out. - That's a blind? - Yeah. - He's full of shit. - To what? - 'Cause it's like a weird fetish. I don't know, it's hard to find the internet. I have a friend who swears by it. - Pooper nickel. - Well, but. - It's on there Charles Lawden. - I'm getting there. - We got him. - One day we're gonna be dead. And somebody will be able to Google us with shit sandwich. (laughing) - They'll be like, "No, it's totally true." (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's already an AI. - He's his balls. He'd find a book and squeeze his balls in it and then he'd let the elevator door take it up. Like, there's gonna be. - Yeah, but it's funnier when it's like a classy actor like Charles Lawden. - Right. Oh, there he is. - What? - It did say it's in the story or somewhere. - Well, no, I can't even see his whole ass there. - Come on, and I'd love to eat poop sandwiches. (laughing) - No, he was disappointed by the commercial failure of "Night of the Hunter" and he decided to eat poop. It all adds up, guys. - Not to the Hunter's a great movie. - That's a great movie. - Oh, we gotta get it in "Night of the Hunter" is the first ever appearance of the love hate. - Yes. - Right. - Glad I never met him, dude. - I think he was closet homosexual and that sounds like a nasty rumor you'd make about a closet. - Wow, that makes sense. - Yeah. - Why does that natural extrapolation of that feels weird? - You'll play him in a movie. - I don't know. - What is it saying the same thing about Danny Thomas? Is that what we're saying? - Let's get to the time. - We're starting terrible rumors. - We're at the HADD in this room. Is that a control? - We got it. - Guys, by the way. - I just looked at Danny Thomas' real name and I thought I had a stroke. - Let's go down to Danny Thomas' real name. - Oh, one thing at a time. - Let's go down. - Oh, go. - That's a lot. - Whoa, I suppose, mousy-odd, yeah. - I always get these crazy rules. - I always grab a rule and I could never make anything out of it. - I didn't know I could have made that with it. - That was like a terrorist. - That's a fucking name. - Yeah. - That is some Ellis Island shit saying that. - What, what's your name? Let's go with Danny Thomas. - You can't do this. - Danny. - Yeah. Abu. What's you? Yeah, kube. Coruse. Is dead. Died like a dog. (laughing) Which, by the way, that's not how dogs die. - You don't have dogs with dogs. - Dogs get euthanized and get put down. - Right, right. - Don't get just bombed to death. - Don't get bombed to death. - Never thought I said. - This is not true. We're just doing this. There is no, no, no, no, no. - How do you know? People do things. - To the word poop. (laughing) - Oh, no. - Who paid for this? So if I guess if you throw money at it, you don't have to. - All right, see, he controls his own Wikipedia clearly. - You can't put stuff in your Wikipedia, guys. When is trading place is gonna be a thing, you think? Like when do you think it's gonna actually preview? - Well, what we just did was like the staged reading, you know, Broadway's the whole thing. There's like 40 theaters, but they're only owned by like three organizations. So, you know, the mafia's five. - Wow. - But Broadway's three. - Damn. - There's just not that many, yeah, so. - Titanic is killing it. - I hear it's great. I hear it's really good. - Man, my wife loved it. - I saw, did you see, I saw operation mincemeat? - No. - No, the best musicals have ever seen. - Pull it up. - Pull it up. - Never heard of that. Is this a gay code? - How would you say it's straight up the street? - We gotta go. - A lot of things. - I heard the new death of a salesman is unreal. - Oh, really? - I hear it's unreal. - All right. - The glass. - Lost Boys is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. - I've heard that's amazing, too. - One of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. - That show mincemeat, I just saw the other day. It's incredible. But Lost Boys. - Do you think they fly around in Lost Boys? - I would hope so. - They do. - Do they fly around so unbelievable how much they fly around in Lost Boys? - Okay. - You'll feel like you're hallucinating. - I took my niece to Book of Mormon a couple months ago. She's 13. I don't know how-- - How do you feel about it? - I think it's great. I love it. - Oh, yeah. - I love it. I wonder how much she got. As I'm watching, I'm like, does a 13 year old, she's super smart, but does a 13 year old fully get this? - My wife's very Baptist parents to Book of Mormon. And I was a little worried about how it was gonna go. And you're like, right when you get to Hussadeegah Evil Wines? - Yes. - I was like, how's this gonna go? (laughing) - Bang. - That was tight. - That was good. - Very tight. - That is the greatest song, though. - It's incredible. - Yeah. - No knock on Lost Boys. - Lost Boys time. - But how did they decide to make this a musical? What goes through the channels and the grinders to go ahead? - I'm gonna love it. - Especially if you're on Grindr, 'cause there's some sexy dudes. - I don't know if there's a billion movies from 30 years ago where he's one, how do they decide that one? We'll make money right away. - You're gonna like it. - I know, check it out. - How they get that to-- - Everybody's flying around and the shirt's kinda a little bit oily. I don't know, Jury's still out on me, I guess, I don't know. - Yeah, that's true. Red one. - You're a cultured straight. - That's what it is. (laughing) - A cultured straight. - Must have. - Seems a little good, but that's, I think that's a good thing. - Yeah, very. - 'Cause we're talking about great old rumors about people. - Well, you're living Wisconsin. - I live, we mostly live in Wisconsin. Yeah, we still have a house in Los Angeles that we go to sometimes, but-- - They're called here. - Called here of life, I haven't seen it. We're part of Wisconsin. We live at a place called Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Nice, very nice. - 90 minutes from Chicago. Oh wow, this is a little spot. And you know, people rag on it as the, it's the place that Chicago people go in Wisconsin. - Right. - But that's, that's me too. I'm a Chicago person. - I love Chicago. - Cross the lake for me is the Riggles. You got people like that. - But you get-- - This is a sweet spot. - Oh, the gum fortune? - Yep. - Riggles. - Oh, they used to own the cups for a long time. - Yep. - Look. - Yeah. - But you want to get two months out of the year out of this with the crowns on the wheels? - No, no, we actually know that there are a lot. It's beautiful. But you gotta, if you're gonna go there, that houses, that's called-- - Teddy Murphy's. (laughing) - Bigger, that's a, called Stone Manor. (whistles) - And the hole on the roof there. - Yeah, it's a cool place. It looks a lot like, yeah, that's down the lake from me. - Wow. - Yeah. - But-- - I'm on the places. What are you, Chicago guys? - I'm a Chicago guy. - There we go. - So we grew up Chicago, and then I, this is the lake I grew up to going to as a kid. That's a Stone Manor. - How? - A big old spooky house. It's probably the spookiest house on the lake. - Beautiful. - There's stuff that's less spooky. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, you can go to lakes and even see more. You pick the one really spooky looking house. (laughing) - That's pretty. - It's really pretty. A lady of the lake draws her own way, yeah, sweet little spot. We actually love being there in the winter, but you just have to be, the lake freezes, and you gotta be okay with the idea that, you know, for a couple of weeks at a time, it'll be like 15 below. - Yeah. - For a couple of weeks. - That's crazy. - That's when you go to the lake. - I like it. - Oh really? - You like it. - Yeah, I get some riding dog. - Mm-hmm. - I'm not, see, I'm not against any of the window. I'm okay with the winter, yeah, but 15 below is tall. - Yeah, but I get, I get a good, I love to stare out of window, you know? - Sure. - And get, you know, I get a little sad. You know, I like the smiths and stuff. - Yeah, same. - I'm a good window stareer. - I know. - Think about, you know, the way things was, I was, how are you feeling? - See, more, see, he's hosting the final act of the CBGB's fest. CBGB's is having one show. - And he's doing, is he doing 20 minutes of standup? (laughing) - And he's doing-- - I'm not gonna tell you something other thing about, about the dog mate festivals. - Wow, that's got a five. - Hey, you're all wrong, man. - I'm doing five minutes. which would give me on such days, not, you know, the famous Morsey story. You see, there's a lot of famous words. Well, apparently he's a very horrible to work with. Does that story, right? I don't know that. He said, he said trying to extricate himself from this part. I've never heard that specifically. He said, and then he leaned back. The microphone away a little. It's all be again, not talking anything about this. So there's that old story where he's on the tour bus, they're pulled up to somewhere out of Detroit. Big theater says Morsey on it. They missed, they took one S out. They misspelled it. And he said, keep on driving. Sold out on the corner, they drove by the bus, one S was off. And he said, fuck it. Keep driving. My own agent misspelled my name. Yeah, we do. They call me Mike. It's two fucking S's baby. Yeah, two RS two S's. So I feel like that's justified, though, a little bit. Well, come on, I just agree. Pay attention to the details. Sure, if they fucked up the marquee, what's it going to be like back? Yeah, could be bad. All right, we get it like Morsey. You're a windows there. Defend him on a lot of weird stuff. What else you got for Morsey? No, I don't know. I've met him twice. And he was absolutely couldn't have been nicer. Oh, yeah, okay. Again, I don't know if this is true. It couldn't have been nicer. No, we have, we have some areas where we will not delve into it. Yeah, there's no trash in it. I'm like, I can't not get trashed. The next even though I'm from Chicago, and it was kind of fun for me, because I lived in New York from the late 80s through all of the 90s. And I just want to thank the Nick's fans, specifically Ken Marino. He's got a picture coming out called gal daughter in the celebrity sex mask. Funny. I love Ken Marino. We love Ken Marino. But we gotta get we tell him to come on here with fans. One thing that was really great is being a Chicago person and a bull's fan during that era during the 90s in New York is it was like my second job, because Ken Marino would always always bet on the next. No matter what, like it didn't matter. Like, you know, you guys had Starks and you had everybody in you. I used to do with John Starks impression. When I was shopping bag groceries, I was the best. I decided I would be the best shopping bagger that I ever was. It's too high. He's too high, too high. Pull up star. I got to hear Starks down. He's lower. Okay. Okay. You're money back. You might be right about the SNL on this. Lord Michaels, why is he closing the stars? What the hell is this? Starks, we got to update these. It's deeper. I think he's doing it wrong now. Well, it's fucking not as good as it used to be. Then he's the nicest dude to be the way. He is the lovely guy, but I had a rough one at a gig at MSG once for the NYPD. And he hasn't leaving. He put his arm on me. He's like, that was fucking hilarious. When Starks does that, you're like, all right, I don't feel that bad. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. No question is a happy time, but I was a little higher. No crazy. I tell you what, at this point in my life, I'm not going to put any more work into my John Starter. I'm calling it. I'm considering it perfect. I'm going to let it exist the way it exists for space and time. So it was a great era because you know, the feeling is that the nicks were always with viewing and everybody going to, going to finally beat the bolts at some point. We hope. I guess what happened? You didn't. I remember so great. 90s bulls were unstoppable. Well, Jordan would have the flu and need score 55. It was crazy. He's the goat. I mean, it was crazy. Jordan, Pippin, Rodman, it was unfair. I met Pippin. How is Pippin? Your bang is great. That great. Here's what it is. And everyone else in the record here. Jordan's son. I'm moving the microphone away. As I talk about my relationship. Jordan's son married her. What? Seven rings. Is that true? That is, is that new for me? He did. Is that true? He did? Yeah. I think they got divorced. I thought I heard that too, but he's a little bit. I met. I met. Here's, here's what happened. I met Scotty Pippin because we were both in first class on United. Nice. Well, let me clarify. Fine for me. I'm in first class. He's Scotty fucking Pippin. And he's like six eight. Shouldn't Scotty be on some more thing nicer than what the 10 dangles on? I think I should, I think he should be like, I assure you, there's no chance dangles bumping into Jordan anywhere I go. Right. He's at nicer places than I'm allowed. But Scotty Pippin and I are allowed in all the exact same places, which is a sad sign about the contracts he had to sign. He got fucked. He got fucked. Because now he has to live like me and ordinary. He's not, he's not broke. He's not, I mean, he's, but he got, he got a big deal with the blazers at the end. But a lot of Jordan's money is from the shoe deal. I mean, that's Jordan's joining basketball was never even close drop in the bucket. Yeah, I mean, he had armor. He had, what was the hot dogs? He had jockey Nike. Oh, yeah, he had a restaurant. A bunch of steak has a cologne. He had a bunch of steak houses. What was the fucking hot dog he had? He had a hot dog. Jordan had a hot dog pull it up. Show to me hot dog ads, bang. Michael Jordan, ballpark, Franks. No way. They plump when you cook them. Was he sprite too? Or am I a racist? You are. You're definitely the McDonald's. Both could be true. That's true. It's the fact that you are probably already. That's the point. Michael Jordan. Wow. Ballpark, Franks. Would get a little. They get a little excited when you cook them. Did he do milk as well? Or am I gay? Yes. And yes, both could be true. Both could be true. Thank you. They're not. I remember the best job for this wine, by the way. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is good wine. Yeah. It's actually true. This is my kill. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't fuck around at all. Yeah. He called us out. I think we had like a shitty selection. And since then, we've upped our game. That's true. Do he send you this? No, you got you. Oh, God. I love you in so much, dude. We love you. You know, that's the thing too. It's not all about winning. Like it's not. No, but as a kid, there's value in loving a thing that doesn't work out. That's true. There was 90's next. There were 90's. Well, here's the thing about them. They're a magnificent team. They were awesome. But then there had to be something that could come along to be the foil of a team. That amazing. Jordan was it just was unfortunate to be going against the greatest ever. It was just I mean, barkly missed out stocked in all these great players missed out. Malone did not miss out on impregnating 12. But he missed out on a championship. Yeah. Rodman recently. You did. Yeah. First class United. No coach on United plus. I was actually just sitting on a carbon electors lap. That was Rodman. If you go to maybe who posted it, maybe weird out. There's a picture of me, weird out Rodman, Jared Pilecki, and Jennifer Gray. That's a fever dream. It should be it's in Richard Gears hamster. And obviously not not pictured, but there it was. But Rodman. It's hard to put into. There's photos somewhere. It's going to it'll turn out images. No, there's your weird out. Yeah. No, no, no, it'll be. It's probably on Al's. I don't know where it was. Somebody's in private Instagram. But that's like Geneva again. There's me now on my boat. Well, he's weird out of the man. He's the man. I met him once. He probably the nicest guy ever. He seems. We zinged him because it was I did open Anthony with him. And everybody zinged me. He's like, what are you doing guys? Zing and you know, why are you so mean? We're like, you're like a nice normal guy. We're animals. Yeah. Every other word on that show was, I know. He was like, what do you guys so mean for? Rodman's interesting because like, you know, he's six seven. He still acts exactly kind of like the Rodman you're thinking about. Yeah, all right. He has not like, he hasn't like, mellowed. I like that a lot. Well, he's hanging out with Eugene Paine or no. He's still. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's the only guy we ever gets to go to North Korea apparently. We brought him. He brought a bunch of players with him on that one trip. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Didn't they make a they made like a music video? There was a new show about him going to my ex-girlfriend. A huge crush on him. I had to break up with her. Right. Dennis was. Didn't Madonna dated Dennis? Of course. Madonna and electric with the Madonna date. Pippa. I think they hooked up. No. Can we have footage of that? Mark, can you tell me about that? I can watch that. Rodman's father. No. Abs and father, right? No. Oh, yeah. Flander. His name is Flander. He has something. His name is not Flander. Flander. Something like 24 kids by 19 women. I think it's yeah, these 20 kids. Christian name is Flander. That's impossible. I'll look it up. That is impossible. Things could be true. This sounds like a charge lot and type of story right there. Let's see. That's about the smiley face here. That was genius. The weird smiley face. Oh, yeah. You know that remember that guy? Yeah. Flander. Not Flander. Flanders closed. Flanders closed. Yeah, that's up there. Do you guys know that stupid sex? Remember, Rodman left and just went to Vegas for a while? It's so cool. And it was so cool that they just let him do it. They were like, he just needs that. I have a theory about it. Yeah. I have a theory about why they let Dennis do everything they let Dennis do. And it makes it makes a lot of sense. Like when there's a guy on the other team that people think is crazy, like that's so helpful. Sure. Like imagine like so when even the bulls are like, "Hey Dennis, it's fucking crazy." We can't control him. So imagine how you feel if you're the next and you're like, yeah, if he won't listen to Phil Jackson and Jordan and Pippin' and anybody else, and he'll just fuck off. Like, watch out for that guy. - That's the point. - That's the point. - Doesn't fucking care. - And you gotta let a guy that crazy be crazy. - That's the crazy. - That's the crazy. - That's the crazy. - Wouldn't be so crazy. There we go. - Wedding dress. - Look at how little I am next to a little Rodman. - Ah, you're cute. - Look at me. - What a crew. - That is a fucking potsy. - Who's the white guy with this? - That's Jennifer Gray. - Me or Jennifer Gray? There's three white guys in the picture that I can tell. - No one's right that I've never heard of. - Oh, he's the most famous guy in the photo by far. - Huh? Who's the white guy? - That guy's Jared Pilecki. He's from a show called Supernatural. They have their own fan conventions just for that show. - Oh wow. - I never heard of it. - I don't know it. - We watch your home. We call it ghost hunks. - Ghost hunks. - 'Cause it's two guys looking for ghosts and they're hunky as fuck. - I love it. - They're really, really dreamy. - You're not gay at all. - The father 29 showed him with 16 different women. - See, take that Nick Cannon. - Yeah. - And Elon, that's more than both. - I did not know anything about this and I did read bad as I want to be, how is that? - It's a terrific book. Dennis's book. - Yeah. - Yeah, he talks about sitting outside the palace at Auburn Hills with a shotgun in his mouth. - Damn. - No, he's, he had some really troubled moments. - You never hear about the dark side. You can always think, "Oh, what a cool life." - You always think, "Dennis seems fine." You always look at Dennis, you're like, "You know what? If anything, he seems fine." - You're right. - Yeah. - But there's a beauty to that selfless type of player. The guy who's just like, "I don't need the ball. I'm just going to run him off." - Imagine if you're fighting for a ball. - Yeah. - With that guy. - Yeah. - Let him have it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Fuck it. - As a kid, too. - No, take my toy. - Take it, take it. - Yeah. - He's got green hair at a nose ring. - Yeah. - Dennis has proven that he doesn't, like he's got bigger stuff on his mind. - Yeah. - As opposed to bonking his head with you. - Right. - Yeah. - Well, we all had that friend in high school when you got into a fistfight. He would go, "Ah, bring a bottle over," said. - Yeah. - Everybody else was like, "Oh, jeez. All right, I'm not going up here." - Yeah, you can't really fight crazy. - You can't fight crazy. - Which, you could say Trump is a little of that, but I ran as crazy, too. So they're like, "Fuck it, we'll go after you." - Yeah, both reality stars, both a little crazy. Both kind of peaked in the early. - Dennis, yeah. - Was Dennis ever on, Dennis must have been on-- - He was on something. - He must have been on something. - He was on the different Trump show, right? I think so. - Was he? - I think so. - There's no way Dennis was not on that show. Had to be, right? - I can see them belong. - I know, meatloaf was. - Maybe likes Kim Jong-Un. - Yeah. - Dennis was, yeah, season eight. - Bam! - Did he win? - Kim. - What was he-- - How do you, do you win? - Yeah. - He's basically misspelled Trump's name. - He's famous in the spelled Melania. - Morrously? - He made memorable firings. Oh, he misspelled Melania's name. - Oh, we got a rewatch, that's his name. - It's May 8th for season 13. - Wow, that ran that long. - Speaking of, was it NBC? Was the show you with Matthew Perry? The odd couple? Was that a NBC couple on CBS? - What? - CBS, yeah. - It remade that? - Not only did they remake it, I was in it. - You were, which one? - I won. - Felix Unger, number five. - How's that work? - Let's see. - The play? - Oh, Matthew. - Yeah, the play is, it goes Jack Lemmon. - There's the play? - The movie. - The series. - The series. - The series from the '70s. - Black Odd Couple. My Odd Couple. - What was the black? - The Black Odd Couple. - Yeah, it was called Black Odd Couple. - It's called the New Odd Couple. If you go to New Odd Couple. - But everything is ripped off the odd couple. - Even a great show is kind of the odd couple. - That's a good point. - There's the New Odd Couple. - Wow. - So I'm the guy, I'm the mustache one. - The almost gay one. - Even, but still, even in the one I was in, I'm still the almost gay one. I'm Felix. - Even right here? - Is that one, huh? - That is. - Yes. - Is it from Sanford and Sonny? - Yeah, I think that's on the right. - And that's the guy from the Barney Miller on the left. - Wow. - Yes. - Yeah. - No, that was a fun run. We did like three half seasons of the Odd Couple. - How cool is Matthew Perry? He's a funny guy. - We had a great time. We were very close. Well, we did that. We did a movie called Seventeen Again Together. - Easy. - We did nobody remembers that. I did a couple episodes of Friends with Matt. - Did you? - Yeah. - Wow. - Joey's hand twin. - Oh. - I was going to remember him. Joey's hand twin. - All right. - Well, Joey's hand twin. I was in the Friends reunion. - How you doing? Hand twin. - Yep. - What was it like where you were with Matthew Perry? - We had a lot of fun. I mean, Matt, he's a complicated guy. I, you know, he. You know, there's always ups and downs with Mattie, but like when he was in his, I mean, you know, like Matt, he wanted to be like a serious playwright. And he was like kind of a. He was a heavier personality than a lot of people I know. I mean, his, like, if left was own devices, I think he would be like most of it, just kind of riding slightly sad plays, like this is a real vibe. - Right. - And then he kind of accidentally became a TV, you know, like a primetime heartthrob. - Yeah. - You know. - Dated Julia Roberts for Pete's sake. - Dated, yeah. Yeah. He was dating Julia Roberts when she was work. I know that he was dating her when she was working on her Irish accent for, for Michael Collins, or one of those pictures. - It's like the worst time to date her. - Yeah, you don't want to. - That's true. - What's his father in the business? - Mattie's dad is. I thought like a Canadian news guy or something. - Oh, kind of nice. - One of my thing of his stepdad is. His stepdad is the famous guy. Anyway, we had a lot of fun. - All right. - We both smoked cigarettes at the time. We smoked a million cigarettes together. - I could see that. - Do you like smoking cigarettes in a Porsche? - Wow. - Yeah. - We did a lot of it. How fun was LA back then? - Porsche in around. - 90s LA must have been the tip top. - Not gonna burn darts in a Porsche. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Do you worry about TV? The state of TV? Movies and all that? - No. - You're not worried? - No. - You know, they get shifted. - Well, you've had a lot of success and you wrote. I don't know if everyone listening knows. He wrote "Night at the Museum." - Yeah. - Which is. - That's a huge movie. - Whoa! - They made three movies. - Yeah. - It's actually a fourth animated one. And apparently there's gonna be a fifth. - That's insane. - But, you know, everybody's worried about everything, but I worry about stuff too, but then I also don't worry about it, because it's like. - Yeah, it's like when TV was invented, people worried about that, and it's like. - Good point. - You know, and then they're like, "Oh, some of the people buying studios are evil." And I'm like, "Well, I work for. " The people that use it in studios weren't the nicest people before either. So it's like, what, you know, so. - You're optimistic. - I'm optimistic in everything sorts. It's self-out. - I like that. - Refreshing. - Mostly, you know. And all you can do is keep doing good stuff. - So. - Here, here. - You can keep trying to do good work and. - Can we pull up his resume in just some ways? - Just kind of. - My resume, if you go to R&B, it looks like a charades game of like a crazy person. - Right. - There's no logic to. Like, I'm in two merch and ivory movies. - Jesus. - But I'm also in boat trip. (laughing) - Is that Cuba good in junior? - Yeah. - Wow. - I remember that. - I'm also going to load the horse. I'm also in the jury's eye. - That's right. - 11 photos. I'm going to go through all the work. - I get a little picture called. That's a mic jam picture also from the state. - Which one does that sound? - That's a mic jam movie called "Organ Trail". - Oh. - Very scary sort of atmosphere. - By Michael Patrick Jan, from the state director, also of. Oh, you got 317 photos of him. - I'm only at 13 here. - Yeah, let's just keep. We'll just keep fucking going through. And I'll try to remember any of them. - Oh, is that right, Burns? - That's a show called "The Big Leap on Fox." That was great. - Oh, same, same. - You've been on a lot of shows that went but in a lot of shows that haven't gotten it. - Correct. - Well, I mean, what's that like when you really believe in something and you're just like, that's it? - Yeah, I mean, I've been in shows that were canceled at the table read, also. - Really? - Yeah, there's friends. - Oh, I'm doing a little too much in friends, I feel like there. Look at that face. I'm doing too much. I'm doing too much. Turn it down. (laughing) That was some cheesy. That was, I'm early in Hollywood. I haven't really been there that long because I should be, I could be doing less. - Any audition tips? I can't nail an audition to save my life. - Yeah, no. That is Hancock. - That was fun. - That was a movie. - Anything you auditioned for that you were like, "I really wish I got it." - Everything. - Level, which is one that you thought you were really close to. - How positive I was gonna be for like a couple months, it seemed very likely that I was gonna be Ford Prefect and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. - Oh, cool. - And then I was not. - Yeah, the guy who got it was most deaf and he's excellent in it, but I can choose to chew over time. - I know, we're endlessly circling the same projects, but he's very good in the picture, but it was weird because I was positive I had it. - That's the worst. - Or sometimes you're positive you have it, and then, you know what, you don't. - Totally. - You don't. - Rodman gets scurries away with it and you're like, "Ah!" But, not just, I mean, everything. - Everything. Most auditions are heart breaks. - Yeah. - You know, damn. - I just, I mean, I found out I saw that I was on the list of, you know, people considered for the Michael Scott role in the office. - Wow. - Which I never knew was true and they never saw me or anything, but there's a memo, I guess it's in the book about the office. And I was like, "Ah, that would have been neat." - That's cool. - But I'm happy with my life. - Yeah, who else is on that list? - A lot of cool people. Lots of cool people were on that list. - Wasn't Bob Odenkirk on that? - For sure he was. - Yeah, probably sure on that list. - And he might have actually been in, in, uh, - Paul Giamatti, wow. - A lot of people were on that list. - March short is, that seems like a, that would have been an odd choice, even though he, I mean, he's too big, I think. - Yeah, it's almost like he's so much too famous to play that. - I watched his documentary and he talks about how Chauvin's is 95% failure. Just audition after. - It's almost 90's flopping. - For me, it's about 99. - Right, yeah. If you're hitting 95, you're killing it. - Is there anything you passed on that you almost never? - Yeah. It's almost never happened, like pretty much never. It would have to be so, I mean, I'm in the, I'm in puppet master, the littlest rake. (laughing) So like, if I'm gonna be in that rake, I'm in puppet master, the littlest rake. If I'm in that, what wouldn't I be? Yeah. Like, almost, you know? You're on this podcast. Yeah, I was doing my garment shopping anyway. Nice. I'm always, I'm usually in the garment district on. You got a glass of wine out of it. Yeah. I got almost a full glass of wine that was picked by Joe McCale and actually really solid. Really good. Yeah, really solid. Is there any type of thing that you haven't done yet that you really wanna do? Well, the Broadway thing was one. I've written a couple of novels that was cool. Wow. That's pretty cool. You're busy out there, that was good. Wisconsin man. From my life, from the outside, I guess it must look like I feel busy. To me, it's always like, why am I not doing more, you know? I get that. Do you feel that? Yeah. From the inside, it always feels like you're not doing quite enough. I would say in comedy, we do more in a year than most people do in 20 years. Probably yes. The traveling. The ride. We meeting people. Yeah, I'm friendly. We've done the road for the last like 15 years. How hard we've been on the road. It's like crazy, crazy. I remember town. But I love it. I really love it. It is one of the hardest kind of lifestyles too. So definitely. Yeah. But it's also so rewarding. It's so fun. It can't yet is. It's a real high. Yeah. But like to build a home life, it's hard is. Yeah. I kind of stopped doing stand-up once I realized how I really liked it. I don't know if I was good at it, but I like doing it. But it's the kind of thing where it is not super conducive to like being home and being-- You got that right now? Yeah. I got a baby boy and it's a lot. That's very tough. Do you have a kid? I do my son is 16 now. Woo. You're right in the masturbation era. Yeah. Yeah. He seems pretty-- I don't know. I don't know how they hide it well. You hope they hide it. Yeah. Along the way. I guess he's jerking off a lot. We've been walking in on it. But yeah, it's tough because comedy is just always-- some place where there's tons of booze and people want to hang out. And you're like, dangl. Pick man, let's sit on your shoulder. Just like everybody wants to, you know. That's how this pod started is. We were just drinking buddies. People want to hang in the day, and it's just, you know. And you hang out less, so you do a pod. Right. And then you get-- we get to meet folks. There you go. But it's cool. And we get to watch-- we get to watch "All of Raw" after this. Is there anyone you really want to work with? Do you have an orc with? I don't know. I mean, I keep-- I like the weird thing about me is I kind of like doing all the different jobs. Yeah, the variety's fun. Like, that's what keeps me at doing this. I think it's very good to diversify the stuff that you do. Like, as soon as I'm never-- I don't ever want to work in right movies again, because it sucks. Yeah. And it's a nightmare. And then you write a novel, and you're like, you know what I want to do is I want to add that book back into a movie. And then like, it's good to diversify, because there is so much heartbreak in movies and theater, and TV, and comedy. Like, so much of it is just, you know, shitty. Yeah. That it's good to diversify that heartbreak a little bit, and have-- I agreed. --have eggs in some different baskets sometimes. We wrote a movie, and we're trying to get it made. I think we're going to shoot in July, which I'm-- You're just going to do it. We got independent financing, so we got lucky. It's very hard to pitch stuff now. You wasted six months pitching. So we went to independent financing, we got it. But me and Marino pitched two things last year that were like slam fucking dumb. Yeah. Like, to the top, they seemed amazing, and you find out eight days later in an email. They were like, oh, no, no, they didn't want to say. And you're like, wait, and there's not even like a big like, or like, no, I'm sorry. It used to be like, the person you pitched to would call you and tell you why it didn't work. Or though I got it's not for us. Or at least they would say something. But we've now, we're in an era of everybody's so used to being ghosted and ghosting people. Yeah. But like, you can go pitch a high level studio executive, and you will never hear about it again. That's true. At all. Yeah. It's fucking weird. It's weird. It's weird. I just pitched a kind of a reality show, page of stage, and everybody passed on it eventually. Did they tell you they passed? Or did they ask you had to ask? And then I said to my manager, why did they pass? And she was like, I don't know. And so I emailed them and I said, why do I want to know? It's your fucking job to know. I know. So I got the why now from them. And they said, well, it's too niche, blah, blah. I was like, okay, thank you. That's all I need to know. But actually having closure and stuff like that, it's also the way that like the world should work. Yeah. I don't like the idea that you have. Say why? Yeah. Don't just be like, never speaking to them ever again. Exactly. I will never speak to that. Like, just fucking say what you didn't like. I know. But that's why the internet is so, it's fun. Because if you get a big pop on the internet, you go, you could have had that. Yeah. I mean, that was our careers. I mean, you talk about kind of being like the anti-SNL in the '90s, but we were, you know, with stand-up specials. We got passed on by everyone and we put our shit on YouTube. And it just kind of changed our lives. Of course. So-- Way better. You know, for the Reference, when we went to do the, like, Reno and I were one at Quibi, what Quibi, Katsunberg's little thing that he wanted to do with the-- Oh, we remember. Yeah. We got passed. Our idea got passed on by Quibi. Yeah, true. Poor things. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, we had loaded shotgun in our mouth after that one. And that's a-- Quibi said no. We're also at the stadium at Auburn Hall. But what they showed us, what they were trying to compete with, and it wasn't with Netflix, and it wasn't with the movie studios, and it wasn't with TV, it was with YouTube. They were trying to compete with YouTube. Because the eyeballs, if you look at eyeball charts, like Netflix is amazing. It's YouTube's here. Is that right? The chart goes, you can't see the chart anymore. Whoa! Because YouTube-- Just to YouTube versus Netflix. Eyeballs. Like eyeballs. Or view it. It's crazy. But to talk about your optimism, it's like, you don't know what's going to pop for you. You don't know what's going to hit. So just have a shitload of plates spinning. Yeah, care about all those plates. Viewers, viewers, viewership, yeah. But we didn't know. I mean, I thought we were like failure watching that. I know, so did I, but it worked out. That's kind of how it goes sometimes. All 13% of all television screening in the United States is YouTube. 13% of all. Wow. 2 billion monthly-- That's logged in, too. So like, 1/4 of the planet is watching YouTube. Yeah, was that. Well, Netflix has 8% or 9%. That's pretty fucking great. But varying is there 5%, 4% or 5% under YouTube. So you've gone right to put your thing on the thing that-- Yeah. I mean, it's like-- But you can't compete with YouTube. Everyone's uploading every second. Netflix have to wait for the new thing. Hey, here's the new special. Here's the new movie out. I feel like YouTube is always something new. On YouTube, I will say that's one thing about watching YouTube stuff. Sometimes you feel like, hey, this is filler. You just put this out today, because you had to put out something today. And you can feel that sometimes. Which I miss. You've watched a movie from the '40s, and it's like 90 minutes, an airtight dialogue. And now, I mean, look, we're part of the poem on this podcast right now. But our movie, I feel like, is Tight Joke Joke joke joke. Like, that's what we like. I've actually-- I'm sure someone else has an expression for this. But I've started calling it spacing, which is streamer pacing, because you start watching shows on any streaming service. And you're like, who decided to make this 28 minutes longer than it needed to be in the answer is, because they want to have 10 of them. But this would have been covered-- You're seeing stuff on streaming shows that would have been covered in a movie, as you said, in about 90 minutes. Yeah, yeah. But, if it's a streaming show, wouldn't it be great if there was eight to 10 of these? Yes. So let's just linger. And then we're going to bang. We're going to linger over here. And then we'll linger back there. There you go. Everything fucking lingers. You all right. They make it a twilight. I ran to the Nate Burgazzi last night, the seller, who told me he's coming back on the podcast. Oh, really? But I go, I'll make sure Marc doesn't fart in you next time. It was really stinky. No, that was bad. Oh, Nate, I'll make sure Marc doesn't fart in you and Nate goes, thanks. It's like a hundred degrees outside. Oh my god, dude. That's fucking amazing. Oh, from a bodega. I also feel like it got into my Joel McHale wine. Oh, sorry, Joel. Hold on, let me make sure. Hold on, I'm just like, yeah, fuck it. Oh, it's your asshole, what the fuck, dude? I was like, I just want to make sure you don't need to see a doctor because that was legitimately like covering up a fart frame. Don't spray. Yeah. Yeah, has a doctor said that you're okay? No. This guy worked with Matthew Perry, and he's worried about you. I'll be there for you. I think you should probably, you should probably see a doctor pretty. Oh my god. I didn't know. A priest and a saiyah sitting here. Some sage. Holy hell. Hello, Akbar. Dude, that is a really Danny Thomas's real name. He asked to appear. Yeah. Holy shit. I'll need a poop of sandwich there. That is brutal. I was really, I think it's fast. Jesus Christ. It's not all the way gone. I mean, whoo. Usually your cartoon farts don't smell. No, that was a bad one. That was a burrito I had. From a store. A bodega. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From a store? A bodega. Yeah. Yeah. -Was it made out of cat food or what? -It's made out of horse shit. -Oh, man. -Did we have a letter grade in the window? And the answer is, we know that the answer is no. -Yes, that's-- that is-- that can't do anything to help. -I'm just trying to smell the wine now to get away from it. -Someone was told me they do coffee grounds on a plane in case they're next summer, thank you. -That's what I'm talking about. -You ever want the flight attendant to walk down with an open bag of coffee grounds? -Smart. -And kind of like squeeze it, give it a little like-- -Yeah, it's activated. -It'll kill a lot of-- -I had a fat lady on a plane. She had the worst B.O. -Well, we got away with it. -Wait, wait. -I was painting a picture. -That was her only character. -Well, it was more I held back. I held back. -Okay. -It was a fat, heavy set, woman of color. -Wow. -And she had like a tight body. -Oh, she had the-- -It was worse? -And heavy set? -Yes. -Wow. -Look, this in Morrissey at the same episode, we're making a lot of enemies. -You literally rip and farts. -Yeah. -Arts and feuds. -She was like-- -She was about to be called "rippin' farts" and "startin' feuds." Holy shit. -That's a good title. -Arts and feuds. -Arts and feuds. -Welcome back. -We pitched that to Quibi, too. They wouldn't bite. -You're going to end up with a shotgun on your mouth. That's how the stadium in Auburn Hills. Listening to "Daughter" by Pearl Jam. -Quibi was-- I mean, that was a crazy-- -I almost had two Quibi shows. -Really? -Yes. -Quibi and Ciccio. -Quibi was that, too. -Ciccio. -I had to produce the show for Ciccio. -Really? -Wow. -Yeah. -It was Quibi and Ciccio. That's when we ran out of names. Remember? -Yes, yes. -We just took anything from Danny K and we pulled it out. -There was Vimeo as well. -Vimeo? -Vimeo's story. -There was that. -Vimeo is good. -Vimeo is good. -Vimeo's where you like if you make a video that's too-- -Come on, man. -We lost them. -We lost them. -I'm telling you a little further. -All right, all right. -We lost them on the mic. -It's the second time Lennon's been shot. -Oh, my God. -Oh, man. -All right, that's it. That's it. The chain was empty. I had to get the last one out. It was bubbling. -It was bubbling? -Bubbling crude. Holy hell. Sorry, Tommy. -Good to have you back. -It's good to be here. -This is your Reno 9/11. -Oh. -Is there any pressure to bring that show back that people hit you up all the time? -That was a classic. -I mean, we have done a fair amount. Like, we reboot it here and there. You know, it's sort of an evergreen thing. -It's not super complicated, you know? -Yeah. -It's one nice thing. People think that, like, it's weird. It's having a moment now because people are like, it's so incorrect. You know, it does give a fuck. -What? -Is it? -Well. -I guess so, the end word. -It actually, by a lot of standards, it would be. -Yeah. -But to us, it was always just like, oh, this is just kind of-- -It's funny. -We are. We're not-- we're never grossed for-- to be gross and we're never-- -Yeah. -You know, but we also never filter-- the show is very not filtered. -Same with us. -Yeah. -Obviously. -I had a crush on the blonde. -Wendy. -Wendy. -Why wouldn't she-- -She's great. -She's a bitch. -Yeah. -I wasn't saying she's a dish. Yeah, Wendy's, yeah. She's a-- -Is that her? -No, that's Carrie. -Also a dish. Am I dear friend? -Yeah. -The state. I think what the state was. Nobody wanted us to do anything. No one gave a fuck. We would do live shows and things like that. And MTV was doing a show called You Wrote It. You watch it. David was an intern at MTV on some other news and stuff. And he'd heard about the show. And he said, we pitch. We said, hey, can we make some videos for this show? And they were like, no. And we're like, oh, OK, fuck. And then we did the thing that ended up changing our lives and show business and is still-- I think what you were just talking about. Instead of pitching it, we went and shot three sketches. -That's the way to do it. -And we walked in and gave them to them. And it was like, look at this. -Wow. -And from that, we got You Wrote It. You watch it. From You Wrote It, you watch it. We got the state. John Stewart was the host of that. So John got the John Stewart show. We got the state. And then from the state, you know, we have a variety in Reno 9-1. -Wow. -I don't know. -Oh, we have a variety. -30 movies of some combination of these people have made-- I mean, most of these people are in Gell Dottry, the movie. -Oh, fun. It's great. You guys are still buds. -Yeah. -Anyone in here is sort of not doing what they want to do today? -Every single person in the group pretty much does what the-- Todd does art. He does, like, art installations. And Todd is the founder and the pilot in the front there. Todd lives in Seoul. And he does, like, art installations and stuff. -Oh, interesting. -Yeah. -What the hell is this? -Everybody, pretty much everyone else-- Almost everyone in that picture directs movies. -Cool. -I thought that was Young Todd Barry in that flannel. -Oh, that's a-- -Oh, look at that. -So I can see it. -I can see it. -The head. -The head. -The main character is one of Hollywood's biggest directors, Ken, obviously, directs. And is it everything? -And a lot of stuff. That is Kevin Allison. -It is a risk. -He is a very popular podcast called "Risk." -Oh, that's kind of scary stories. -Have you done "Risk?" -Many years ago, yeah. -Did you fart on him? -No, she didn't have one loaded. But what the hell? -That's a bummer because he might be into it. -That's true. -He's the probably of the state your best audience for that. -Oh, okay. Good to know. Well, I took a risk. This guy in the brown jacket, I found it. -Joel and Truglio. -Jo, he does a-- -I'm often mistaken for Joel and Truglio. -What is the scene where he's on drugs? -Super Truglio. -That's it. -I couldn't pinpoint it. -Super Truglio. -He's so good. -He's still not super bad. -Super troopers. -I think he's in both. -Joel and Truglio. -He might be in both. -Joel's I know in super bad. -What's his name? -Joel and Truglio with L-O and then capital T again. -He is the member of the state that I'm most often mistaken for. -No, I don't know. -Otherwise, I'm mistaken for a member of the kids in the home. -Quite a bit. -Oh, Bruce. -Dave. -I think I'm more-- -I don't know. -Dave? -Oh, he's not. -He's the guy in super troopers. -I think of-- -That's why I was thinking of him. -You nailed it. -Really? -Joel and Truglio is in-- -Joel's in, I mean, a million movies. -Justine Hendrix. -Ex? -That's not Joe's, not Joe's never married to. -Oh, Jesus. -Joel's never married to Christine Hendrix. -That guy was married to her? -We've been through this on the pod before. -Oh, please. -We've literally done this before. -Well, we drink a lot of it. -I'm in a terrific movie with Christine Hendrix. You can watch it. It's called "Pottersville." -Oh, my God. -At one point, it was at an actual zero on Rotten Tomatoes. -What? -I think now it's at like a 16. Can we go to Rotten Tomatoes, Pottersville? -Wow. -Zero. -That's crazy. -Zero is almost impossible because you have to have enough reviews to register 14%. -Yeah, all right. -You have to look at that popcorn meter. -That is, it only is good by comparison to-- but again, another thing about life. Look at the biggest hit I've ever been affiliated with. It just both ends. -I'm sorry. -Look at nothing. -It's like having a baby on the butt. -The biggest hit of my entire life that I've ever been apart. -I think we have my Rotten Tomatoes. -It's probably what? -40 something? -Maybe. -Oh, that's crazy. -Whoa. -Welcome to my fucking life. -So you never know. -Yeah, but look at the popcorn meter. -It's still not that good. -That's an F. -That's an F. -Yeah. -See, that's a terrible review. -So, is that crazy? -When you write that, you're like, "This is going to be so well received." -I've stopped thinking that a long, long time ago. And even worrying about it. -That's impressive. -You know, comedy generally doesn't get reviewed that well. -You got that right. -You know? -But I mean, it's about to have its fourth or fifth film. -Wow. -So it's like, "You got to. " "Oh, thank you. Did you just read it nicely?" -Thank you. -Good man. -He's not a member. -Did you get to direct that as well? -No, no. That's Sean Levy. Probably the biggest director in Hollywood currently. -Wait, what has Levy done? -He just did one called Wolverine Deadpool versus Wolverine. -Wow, that's pretty lower as picture. -He's pretty big. -She's never heard of it. You heard of this guy? -Yeah. -Sean Levy. -How about it is? -It's a huge deal. -I don't know, Levy. -All right. -You'd like a music good guy. -Okay, great. -Don't rip a fart on him when you meet him. -I won't. -Quite a question. -So, when my kick goes to Night Museum Night at the Museum. -Do I get a little kickback from that? -Yes. -I do. -Do you get kickbacks from this outfit? -I get a very small kickback from that outfit. -It's not as good as you would think. -No, I don't get anything from the theater at the museum. -No, from the outfit, that is an officially licensed lieutenant. -Wow. -I'm going to tell you right now. I don't do as well as you would like. And I'm just going to, can I quickly, if we're starting fucking feuds? -Yeah, hell yeah. -I'm going to start a real, real actual feud. -Bring it on, Fatty. -You can give a great big FU to Spirit Halloween. -Oh, shit. -Now, here's what I'm going to say. If you try to find the Lieutenant Dangle outfit at Spirit Halloween, you're not going to find it. You know why? Because look up Sergeant Short Pants at Spirit Halloween. They've made up their own-- -They ripped you off. -They've made up their own Lieutenant Dangle outfit as if there's just always cops and shorts. -There we go. -Wow. -You'll give them a bad review, dude. -No, that might be the official again. -This is, no, no, no, Sergeant Short Pants, cop costume. Yeah, so they've made up-- -They've made up their own version of it. -It skins their good reviews. -Look at that. -It's got great reviews, you fucking asshole. -Wow. -This, the knockoff Lieutenant Dangle outfit, has better reviews than Night at the Museum. -Welcome to my fucking line. -Wow. Spirit, you cunts. This is why your airline went up. -This is why you fucked up your airline. -Oh, no. You can give it a good review. It's all right. [BLANK_AUDIO] Rising tide lifts all ships say you ripped the guy And if you listen to podcasts go to speared Halloween and destroy it Rising tide lifts all ships, but you can also get the official one some fucking place. Alright, don't destroy it. I think Amazon hold your fire Not that this is an ad for Amazon, but I think they have the real one. They need a boost You're wearing the real one over there. That's the real one over there. It looks good. Hell yeah. I always wonder a reference to their Tom I always wonder how guys like you stay rich and Then it's stuff like this these little nickland dime things this dreams of revenue coming in I wonder how guys like you stay rich. Yeah, you've been in the game for six decades. Yeah, so you always wonder how's it? Peter does the fizzle. Well, glad the part wasn't the most insulting thing You know what I'm saying. Oh, but here's what you the real Secret of that is take every time you get paid take 10% of it and put it in the stock market. Yeah Is that right? Yeah, someone's telling you that right now. No Fuck you need a time machine where I tell you that like 20 years ago. Yeah, yeah. Just do that forever now fuck that dude Fandall go next Go next or Fandall yeah Lance, well, yeah, well, dude. It's been awesome. Have you got a great. It's been a great episode. I want to go spend some real money in the Grimmock district. Yeah, let's do it. Let's make our own Pull up the movie one more time. Gail Dottry. It's a great patient. G-A-I-L Gail Dottry in this nobody's working people see it. Well, there's a trower. It comes out July 10th everywhere in the world It's in real movie theaters. Wow. Yeah, real movie theaters. July 10th. If you like anything with the state Camerino David Wayne. Love it. These are the people behind wet hot American summer. Obviously underlust Wanderlust and the 10 and You know all the It's a great premise of a picture. It's a premise. So funny. I was like are they is this gonna get made and then they made it and that funny It was so funny that you're worried when sometimes it's so funny you worry is it really gonna get made? Yeah, but this one did get made Oh, it's at a 74 hole. Hey It's quite an upgrade from night of the mute It's almost double nice true almost double the night at the museum Long titles sometimes it was actually I think it was longer really yeah You know, it's like whatever Jackie and what are we looking at Johnny making our two or days with plug-and-dates plug-and-dates Baby we got June 7th. Let's see where as the closest you are to anywhere I live. All right. I'm feeling Wisconsin. I'm going to Milwaukee You mean Milwaukee. Yeah, if you want to do a guest set June 6th At the improv I will be very I don't get to Milwaukee till like the couple days after that. Okay. That's what they all say Milwaukee's beautiful town hiding in Milwaukee. I love walking playing site So somebody was very smart and they were looking for a cool place to live that wasn't like Already a crowded and a bummer the cold No, what but it's a great city is it great. I'm doing June. I'm excited. That's why Prince stayed in Minneapolis. That's right keeps away some of the cooks There you go. Who's playing fucking Budapest me all that's gonna be and by the way tickets still available in Budapest That one is looking rough not that many. No, no that everything else is moving. What's available? Hey, what's the best you don't get in Budapest Lisbon's doing great Athens doing great adding the show in Warsaw. What are you gonna be in Athens? I don't know why I'm out of city in the world and I don't mean that in the best way Which is what best seats you can get. All right. That's the best you don't get right there. Yes. How much is it? 28 Gerkies 28 Gerkies actual pickles Man two cornerstones I knew their economy was fucked up. I didn't know it was like like a pickle. Yeah, that was a pickle economy Yeah, we got a word. What do I have? You know the Zagreb you're gonna kill it. Oh, Zagreb dude We're doing well on Zagreb Budapest not looking great Vienna, Warsaw fun You have fun at a second show Helsinki Stockholm and Copenhagen gonna be a lot of fun hell. Yeah, I just learned that that's how you fucking spell Copenhagen and blew my mind There you go. I don't even know that looked like a word. It's a great city. Great beautiful town mark We're gonna be I'll be at the Irvine improv come on. That's a big room We got we got one show left to sell out that we got the tempi and I think the picture of me backstage of the Irvine improv Not to Brad I think there is. I think I know why it's there. I think I got moved from From the Hollywood one and they're just like I move here you can go. Yeah, Irvine is a good one. I got moved down to Irvine great great club, though, yeah Mark Ridley's in Detroit area Royal Oak Cleveland, Holerides and Seattle Emerald City sides for his in Tampa and the clubhouse in the Hampton To that cobs you got a couple nice cobs. Um, here's a thing about this. You don't even need to be good to play cobs Cobs is such a friendly place a great crowds. You could just try how far you just try Yeah, you can really try stuff out and because San Francisco and cobs in particular the best one of the Loves places in the world Nashville and Pittsburgh and You have to cancel some of these if we shoot that movie, but you better believe I looked at were shooting it so really It's what I hear fingers crossed. All right. I'll believe it when I see it awesome to hang out with you Thomas. That's a great honor. Cheers And I get down in the same way up on the roof like a cobs coming and they can send you well as feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember And I get down in the same way We might be true [BLANK_AUDIO]

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. David Wayne and the speaker discuss their collaborative work on a musical adaptation of *Trading Places*, which has been in development for seven to eight years.
  2. The project draws inspiration from Eddie Murphy’s legacy, referencing his films and stand-up comedy, including *Delirious* and *Trading Places*.
  3. The duo shares nostalgic memories of working in comedy groups in the 1990s, such as *The New Group*, and reflects on the era’s influence on comedy and cultural references.
  4. There’s a strong emphasis on humor rooted in absurdity, with many references to Eddie Murphy’s films and stand-up bits, including the "island guy" bit and the elevator bodyguard story.
  5. The conversation touches on apocryphal stories, including a famous (but likely false) tale of Eddie Murphy’s elevator encounter with bouncers.
  6. The discussion includes personal anecdotes about stand-up, comedy performances, and fandom, such as the influence of *Nicki Minaj*, *Bob Fossy*, and *Michael Jordan*.
  7. A side note highlights the production of a new musical and the challenges of long-form musical development, comparing it to the slow, meticulous process of shows like *Hamilton* or *The Book of Mormon*.
  8. The conversation ends with humor about personal quirks, fan conventions, and nostalgic references to 90s pop culture.

Summary:

David Wayne and the speaker reflect on their long-standing collaboration on a musical adaptation of Eddie Murphy’s *Trading Places*, which has been in development for over seven years. The project draws heavily from Murphy’s comedic legacy, including stand-up routines and film references like *Delirious* and the iconic "island guy" bit. The conversation blends nostalgia with humor, recalling their early days in comedy groups like *The New Group* in the 1990s and the era’s influence on sketch comedy.

They discuss famous (but likely apocryphal) anecdotes, such as Murphy’s elevator story with bodyguards, and the absurdity of stand-up culture. The duo highlights the slow, challenging process of creating Broadway musicals, comparing it to the long development of hits like *Hamilton*. Personal anecdotes about stand-up, fandom, and 90s pop culture—such as links to Michael Jordan, Nick Cannon, and Bob Fossy—add depth and levity.

The discussion ends with a lighthearted tone, celebrating the enduring humor and connections in comedy, even as new projects like the *Trading Places* musical evolve. The exchange underscores the value of shared stories, inside jokes, and the enduring appeal of classic comedy.

FAQs

The musical adaptation of 'Trading Places' is in development and has been underway for about seven to eight years. It started as a project inspired by the original film, and although the music composition has taken a long time, the production is now actively being reworked and is set to feature a completely new version of the story.

Yes, according to the account, Eddie Murphy’s house had two large gates, similar in size to Jurassic Park, and there were armed security personnel at each gate. The security was described as highly intense, with guards checking visitors' business before allowing entry.

The story involves Eddie Murphy being in an elevator with six giant black bodyguards in a high-rise building. A blonde woman gets in on the sixth floor and panics, believing she’s being targeted. Eddie Murphy allegedly says 'Get her,' and the group laughs. The story is considered apocryphal and not verified as true.

The creators were inspired by the original film 'Trading Places' and wanted to honor its legacy. The project was initiated by a producer who used to own Final Draft, screenwriting software, and believed a musical version would be a great tribute to the classic.

The 'Incredible Shrinking Man' project was a proposed remake concept for Eddie Murphy, where he would play a Vegas magician cursed by a real magician. The idea was pitched to Murphy’s team but ultimately never materialized.

David Wayne and Eddie Murphy are connected through shared comedic projects and mutual admiration. They have collaborated on various comedy ventures, including writing and performing, and have a history of working together on stand-up and screen projects.

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