Things We Pretend To Like But Actually Hate (Ranked)

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Today, we are going to be going over some stuff that we pretend to like, but in reality, we all kind of hate it, I think. I'm gonna give them all a scale of one to 10 and let you know how much this sucks. All right, let's go. Waiters singing Happy Birthday in a restaurant. Ah, well, if this is happening to me, I'm gonna give it a seven. I'm gonna give it a seven, six. Am I feeling six and a half actually? I'll say six and a half just passing in New York City public school. I'm gonna give it a 65 out of 100 because I don't mind this if it's happening to one of my friends and being like, ha, ha, loser, like ha, da, da, da, da, da, da. I especially like when they bring out little instruments. That is embarrassing. Now, if that's happening to me, mortified, don't love that. And that's why we're losing points here. You know what I really like? That puts me like in a good mood is when it's someone's birthday and they're singing it and then the whole restaurant gets in on it. And it's like, this is nice. People coming together, you know, we're all having dinner, we're interrupted by your birthday but we're all kind of on board as well. Congrats on the birthday, the old bitch. Correct, it was like, can the food be good if you had a restaurant where they come out and sing happy birthday? I think absolutely. And that's making me want to give it more points because I think restaurants that are too snobby for the happy birthday, like I don't want the happy birthday. But if you think you're too good to sing happy birthday, fuck you. Yeah, I'm gonna give this a six out of 10. Small talk with a neighbor you don't know well. I don't mind small talk if we're kind of in an open field. But when it's expected because we're both in an elevator and we're like, in a small room, how are you doing, type of thing? I don't like that. But I did just talk to my neighbor. They just moved in a couple of months ago. Very nice couple. They have a really cute dog named Teddy. So, you know, I like that now. Now I'm feeling neighborly. Now I'm like, hey, fucking, I forget his name. I don't know the dog's name. I don't know the guy's name. I hope he's walking the dog. Here's the thing, I'm not good at the small talk as the person who's starting it. I'm good at it once you've brought me inside of the talk. Then I can kind of get this to be a bigger talk and not just a small talk, but I don't like initiating 'cause I just think I'm bothering everyone. There's a dude in my building that he initiated the small talk. Now it's like, my God, I see him, I'm like, yo, like, you know, like he's cool, I like him. Other than that, I, you know, I'm not gonna. If I'm in the elevator and someone's got their dog I'm not gonna be like, so what's his name? Unless they, unless they bring me in. Then I'll be like, I let's start talking about our dogs. I'm gonna give a small talk with a neighbor. You don't know, well, a, I'm gonna give this like a four, a five, I'm gonna give it a five. I will say this, I wish it was a one. I wish it was a one. I just wish I was better at doing that. That's actually something that I have been insecure about in my life and that I'm jealous of people who are just so neighborly and so friendly. They just walk into their building and everyone's like, oh, there's the big guy, you know, like I wish I could have that. Like I really do, but I'm not. I just like, I don't know what it is. I gotta work on it. Wedding speeches filled with inside jokes. Yeah, I mean, I think we've gotten to the point where wedding speeches just are white noise. Or brown noise. One of the noises, I don't know. But they all start the same. Oh, if you don't know me, my name is Ali and I'm the sister of the bride and also the better looking one. Like there's also a joke there. You know, some shit like that and then, you know, once you start filling this with a lot of inside jokes, that's a little annoying. Let's keep that for the sweet 16 speeches and not necessarily the wedding speech. How a wedding speech should be in my opinion is, you know, you start off with a joke so people know like, okay, we're here for the kicks, type of thing. But then you get a minute with the joke and then you keep them with the emotional stuff and then you end it with a joke and then you get the hell out of there. But I think it should be a nice thing from the heart and it shouldn't be, I don't think the emotional part should lead to this like climactic moment, that's a joke. It like negates this whole thing with a joke. I don't think that should be. I think it should be a nice thing and everyone's like, wow, that's so nice. Motherfucker should be crying because when I pull up to a funeral and I pull up to a wedding, I'm expecting water works. You know what I mean? I'm already in cry mode. So like, all I need is for you to pull on the string a little bit and I'll give you some water. So if you can't get me and I'm like ready to do it, you fucking up. But then end it with a joke, get the hell out of there, you got a good speech. But don't litter this thing with a bunch of jokes that we don't fucking know. Oh my God, Rebecca remembered the car. What? We don't know that. Also, your old aunt and uncle, they don't know what the fuck's going on. They're secretly divorced. They don't care about the car or whatever the joke is that you have. You may have how CVS receipts are long. What? Let's talk about love, you know? Oh, I need to rank that. I'm gonna give wedding speeches filled inside jokes like a fucking eight and a half. That's up there. Gender reveal parties. It really depends what we're looking at here. There's a lot of negative things that can go wrong. I think that gender reveal parties can easily be a three. It's just that people go out of their way to make them worse, you know? Like I hate seeing videos of people who make the gender reveal about like them and not the baby. And what I mean by that is not necessarily the parents, but like everyone else. Like when we find out, oh, it's a boy and then the mother jumps in there like it's hers or something, you know what I mean? Like that makes me feel uncomfortable. And then you got a dad being like, I wish I had a boy and he's storming off. Like I don't want to see any of this. Like you guys are just making this worse. And it shouldn't be, let's send a fucking F-16 over the house and drop a bunch of fucking smoke. And you know what I mean? Like bro, just pop a balloon, like a normal person or shoot one of those like cannons. And let's find out what the fuck this thing is. But people just make it worse on themselves. Oh, I'm gonna deadlift it. I'm gonna throw the weights and then I'm gonna fucking get up and do a back flip onto the fucking something and it's gonna show a blue smoke. What are we talking about? I saw something recently where it was a woman and her husband and they shot it at the same time. One was pink, one was blue. And everyone's like, the fuck does that mean? And then the mother was holding a balloon and she goes, oh, boom. And then she had the real one. Are you kidding me, mom? Bro, if that's my mom, I'm taking a little pain. I'm going, dead getting her right in the neck. Maybe not to kill, but definitely a little blood. But like, you know what I mean? Don't make it about you, mom. It's got nothing to do with you. Let's just make this a very easy thing. We're getting the baby, we're gonna find out the gender and like, let's cut some cake and get the fuck out of here. Icebreaker games at work or school. This is a 10 out of 10. This sucks, okay? Icebreaker game, what is this? Anytime they've done this at school when you're younger, it's like, get in front of the class, say your name, where you're from, and a fact about you. Hi, I'm Joe from Queens, I like sports. What have you learned? You can look at my face and know that stuff. I'm not telling you anything interesting here and I don't want to be forced to do that at work. How awkward is that? Not that I've ever worked a real job in my life. One, they're not indicative of who these people actually are and two, it's so awkward. Also, I don't love name tags in any sort of thing. It's like, we all look like puppies here. We're all walking around like, oh, so you're a Ben, that's great, hi Ben, I'm Richard. It's like, what are we doing? Why don't we just use our mouths and talk to each other and ask what's your name? You know what I'm saying? That's easier than wearing name tags. I don't think that helps at all. That's like childish to me. Home decor that says things like, but first coffee and bless this mess. I don't like this, I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say these are like a nine out of 10. I think it's just lazy. Like I think that if you just think about, you know, how to decorate a space a little longer. Like just longer than a second. Like you'll come up with something else than when people, like if you're gonna decorate your dining room and it's just gonna say eat. I know we eat here, it's the dining room. It doesn't need a sign that says eat. You know, instead get a cool little thing. You know, and in the same stores that you're going to buy the thing that says eat, you can get a nice little thing. I've been to home goods. I love home goods. And they got the signs that say like play. And it's like, where is this go? You know, garage. What sleep? Literally there are directions as signs and we don't need them. In those same stores there is, you know, some creative stuff. Even a mirror would suffice anywhere, honestly, in these spaces. I don't think that your kitchen should say something, like something about coffee. Like, oh, don't talk to me till I need my, like bro, come on. We don't, we just, we're past that point. And it's just, there's no personality there. It's not cute. No one's going to go, oh my god. Like no one's going to do that. OK, maybe 20 years ago, they had their moment, but not now. We got to get rid of that. Valentine's Day dinners. I'm going to give it a four. I don't think it's that bad because I like going to dinner and Valentine's Day, a day of love. Like, I think that you should go to a restaurant. The only thing that kind of gives four points is the fact that these places are just absolutely bleeding you for money. Because the prefix menus are like, here, you can choose from these three things. By the way, you're paying triple the price that you normally pay on a normal day. You know, that's the only thing that kind of sucks. But you don't need to go out on Valentine's Day. You can go like the day before or the day after, and there's not going to be this prefix menu bullshit. So you can kind of get what you want from this restaurant and then whatever. But I do think you should celebrate Valentine's Day and go out to dinner and do something nice. It's just that the restaurants, you know, they're yanking your chain. They're taking advantage of you. And they know you got to go out that night. So they're like, let's jack the prices. So don't love that. Love, love, and love people celebrating their love. But I don't love the restaurants doing that. All right, before we get to the rest of this video, we do have some sponsors. The first one being Babel, okay? Babel is an awesome way to learn a new language. If you want to learn French or Italian or Spanish or whatever it is, Babel has got you covered, okay? 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I'm going to give it a six. I'm going to give it a six for this reason. One, financial burden on a lot of people. On top of, you know, the bridal shower, on top of the cost of a wedding and, you know, the gift that you have to get for it. Like, one of your friends gets engaged. You're kind of on the hook for these three spending opportunities here. Bachelor at party, wedding and bridal shower, usually. Okay. So those three things are what you're spending money on. So there is an undertaking, you know, as far as that goes. And so that's a little bit of a burden to I'm not a fan of let's all for both of these bachelor and bachelor. Let's all wear the same thing or let's all wear a picture of the person who's getting married. I don't really love that. Personally, I wouldn't want that at my bachelor party of like, we're all going to wear jerseys. And it says Joe's last hurrah or some shit like I or something about my job. Like Joe's final podcast episode or like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what it would say, but I don't love stuff like that. The bachelor at parties too. Like, I just think this kind of stuff is overdone. I don't like things that are so expected. You go to a bachelor at party and everything's made of dicks. It's like, everything's dicks shaped. And it's like, I get it. This was funny, but now now it's like an expectation. Now we everything. I need to wear a dick hat at the bar or something like I also don't love dude bachelor parties that are just so like a typical bachelor party where it's like, yeah, so guards strip club Vegas. I'm like, I have no interest in any of that. I would rather do something interesting, you know what I mean? And not just beer. You know, that's it. So I'm going to give it a six because these things can fall into these categories. Dirty talk. Oh, what are we talking about? People don't like this. I'm going to say three out of 10. The only reason why I'm leaving those two points is because there is a little bit of pressure to come up with something good in the moment. And sometimes you say something, and you're like, definitely shouldn't have said that. But you both are kind of under the understanding of like, this is what we're doing right now. We're characters. You know, like, I'm saying shit and it's like, I'm not that guy. But it's fun. I think not saying anything during sex would be a little strange. It would feel like why are who be hiding this from? Like, what do we, you know, like, that's weird. Like, is there someone in the next room type of thing or, you know, whatever, which I guess actually that could play into something if people are into that. But I'm a fan of dirty talk. I would like to know how it's going and how it will be going and how it went previously. Like, you know, keep me in the game here. I'll keep you in the game. We'll kind of keep each other, you know, abreast to the situation. It's status updates. These are the push notifications of sex. Like, I want to know that like everything's going well or like, this is how many steps I got today. It's the same thing, you know, like, oh, that was a really good move. Thanks. I'll stay there. And like, oh, it's coming soon. So stay with you. Okay. Cool. Like, let me keep me along here. Like, we're doing a dance here. But yeah, I'm going to give it a three out of 10 decorative pillows on a bed. Ooh. I would say decorative pillows are an interesting one because although I don't like them, I can appreciate them. I don't dislike them. I just like a thousand of them. Okay. Like, we don't need seven pillows. We don't need seven eight pillows. Like, there's like a ton of these and we're never going to lay on them. It's just like for decoration. But also we're decorating the one room in our house that people don't go in. Who we decorating it for? I get decorating the living room. This is where we live. This is where we spend most of our time. This is where the guests come in. But it's like common courtesy to not go into people's master bedroom. So what's it for? For when they walk by and they go, oh my god. And they just see like pillows. Like, that's what we're doing this for. I get maybe for like big like if we, if you're going to have people over for a big holiday or something, like, all right, let's throw an extra pillow on that pitch. But like day to day, every day we need 10 pillows on this thing. It's a lot of time we're spending putting on the pillows. So I'm going to give this 6.2 out of 10. Sex, not in a bed. So in a car, bathroom, floor, countertop, etc. I'm going to give this a 5 because I think that I don't think it's that bad. It's just not as good, which is, uh, it really depends what kind of mood you're in. Because like, sometimes you're like, yeah, that was awesome because it was like spur of the moment. We were in an alleyway and fucking, I got poison ivy, but it was worth it. But in it, like in a car, bro, like if I had the choice, like if we're like, it's not spur of the moment, we're like, yo, we're going to do this. Who's choosing a bathroom? Who's choosing a countertop, you know what I mean? The countertop is just reserved for like, you know, you're doing the dishes, but I can't wait. So I got to throw you in the counter because it's right here. Take off your dish gloves or whatever, you know what I mean? Or leave them on depending on what you're in to. I would prefer it being in a bed, you know, it's comfy, there's a blanket. If the AC is going too hard, it's going to give it a 5 out of 10. Getting a homemade craft as a gift. I don't know that I've ever gotten that. See, I think the thing that makes this tough is that usually if something like that is happening, they're very excited. I don't know how much I love when people are really excited to give me a gift because then I'm like, oh, the pressure is on, you know, because then once you're really excited about it, especially if you're telling me about it, like, oh, you're going to love your gift, you're going to get it. And I'm like, fuck, this better be like, it better excite me because, you know, I would feel terrible if it's like, my mom one year got me a lava lamp. You know, I could put on a pretty good face for certain gifts. That's just not one that I'm like, and bro, this wasn't in the 90s. This was like four years ago. My mom got me other gifts too, but I was like, here's a lava lamp. And I was like, lava lamp. What years is it? Am I getting a hamster and a fucking piece of like chalk to write on a sidewalk too? What are we doing? But getting a homemade craft as a gift. I'm not, I honestly, I would say this is like a four because I think that depending on who it is, I think if someone's going to go out of their way to make you something, they might be good at it. And it might be cool. I do like homemade stuff. I do like homemade crafts. It's just, it's the, you run the risk of it being horrible. And now it's like, now I got to accept this. I got to keep it for the rest of my life. You're probably going to ask where it is every time you come over so I can't throw it out. I got to have it on display and shit because even if I keep it, but I put it in the closet, you're going to be offended by that. It's a lot of pressure. It better be good. And lastly, we have someone showing you a funny video that you have to see. Again, this depends because you have people, and this, I don't know, this is what Instagram has kind of become for me at least is people just sending you videos. And I have people in my life that are good at this. And I have people that are bad at it. So they'll send you videos like, you know, you got to see it's a funny thing in the world. And I'm like, this sucks. You know, and then I just never trust that person ever again. They'll send me a video. And then I'll just write LOL or I'll just like it. And I didn't open it at all. But there are a couple of people that I'll send you something. And you're like, this is hilarious. So the next time they send me one, I'll be like, cool. And for whatever reason, it's usually the people that we don't have the same sense of humor. They send seven at a time. I don't need that many videos. I don't know what you think I'm doing over here. Like I'm going to sit here for the next 10 minutes watching these seven videos. It ain't going to happen. So it really depends. Also, leave it up to me. Hey, you have to see this. I'm already in no lamp. Okay. I'm already like, I don't have to do anything. All right. Bucco. I'm not watching this thing. You suck video sucks. But I'm going to say that this is probably like a seven out of 10, seven out of 10. When someone's like, Oh my god, you have to, you see, you haven't seen it. Oh, bro, relax. If it's funny, I'll let you know. If it isn't, I'll just like it. Or I'll just write, and that's it. We'll move on with our lives. All right. I'm sure there'll be 10 more that you're going to send me in this afternoon. Anyway, there you have it, folks. That is stuff that we have to pretend to like. But in reality, we don't really love it. Let me know if you agree with my rankings in the comments. And that is all. Don't forget to subscribe. We'll see you next time.