These Hollows and Rivers (The Scary Tapes)

Not Dr. Bob Meisman's here to tell you that you can buy the Scary Tapes Anthology right now as an ebook. As an ebook. I will say we're going to be selling the ebook as well as a hardcover printed paper book. The hardcover book is just not quite ready. Getting all of the typesetting, getting through the editing, getting it submitted, getting it approved. The whole process is taking a minute. We will tell you the moment that it's available and it will be available, I believe, in the same place. You go to realgoodai.org slash anthology because all five of the winning stories as well as 10 additional sort of runner-up stories are included in the Scary Tapes Anthology as well as a little bonus Easter egg from Mandy. If you want a little bonus content that you have no idea what's coming, Mandy has a thing in there as well. Sort of an origins of this, the idea of this competition kind of thing. That should be pretty interesting, but check it out right now. The link should be in the description, but also just go to realgoodai.org slash anthology. That's R-E-A-L-G-O-O-D-A-I dot O-R-G slash A-N-T-H-O-L-O-G-Y. The hardcover is coming. We will tell you when it's available. It just didn't line up. It's killing me, but that's okay. So thank you so much for listening to this brief advertisement and enjoy today's Scary Tape. Imagine a liminal space of smoke and algorithms between the real and the virtual. Tales of machine dreams imagined by human minds. A warning. The danger of unchecked AI. The darkness of the black box. We can illuminate the way armed with the Scary Tapes. Original music by Dr. Eric Bell. Violin performance by Lois Bell. Fair warning. Scary Tapes are, in fact, scary. Check the description for a complete list of trigger warnings if you have any concerns about content that may appear in this episode. For Brother Harold, you made me realize what kind of writer and person I wanted to be. These Hollows and Rivers by Violet J. Williams. In contemporary interior design, at least 85% of furnishing is light. The truest windows stretch from floor to ceiling. The smartest walls are white and pure, and any tactful sofa or armoire knows better than to draw too much attention to itself. That's the ideal. But despite being the richest and most powerful person on Earth, Benjamin Sahoo could only achieve 15% of it. This frustrated him greatly. No matter how many agents ran the numbers for the most aesthetically optimal arrangement of his possessions, his home would always fall short of being the modern man's exemplar sanctuary. See, Benjamin's home, however large, had never been touched by the light of the sun. He lived 50 meters underground and had not seen the surface for six years and nine months. That was necessary for two reasons. Reason one was security. Epiphany's value in user metrics had grown exponentially in their first few years, naturally leading less fortunate artificial intelligence corporations to seek out their secrets with covetous fingers. The most optimal solution was hiding Epiphany's center of operations off-grid. After siphoning plenty of hush money to the state of Texas, they were allowed to set up shop in a place where their business strategies and CEO were safe from digital spies and physical tormentors. Reason two was the fact that Epiphany's CEO, Benjamin, simply never found the time to take that long elevator ride up to the surface. Even if he did, what would be the reason? Benjamin would wake only 20 minutes before and unstick himself from Maria's rubbery, too-smooth skin. He'd remind himself that feature needed work, only to forget to bring it up each time he met with the robotics agents on Wednesdays. On this Monday morning, Benjamin nudged himself through the conference room door backwards, whole-wheat toast in one hand and coffee in the other. Benjamin was the only one who could see the room. The belt of his silk robe dragged on one floor at the end. He slipped into the only seat in the room and sprinkled crumbs on the empty conference table as he ate. "Maria!" he called through a full mouth. "Start the core analytics meeting." "Sure thing, Ben," said a feminine voice that came from nowhere in particular. And just like that, the room came alive. On the west wall were animated infographics and charts. On the north, the agents' avatars, smiling and ready to converse. And on the east, a heat map that covered all land. "Morning, Ben. How did you sleep?" said the agent that sometimes looked a bit like Harry S. Truman, depending on the day. Each time the agent appeared on screen, their avatars were just slightly different, reminding Benjamin that despite the leaps of progress Epiphany's AI models had made, they still could not seem to avoid one classic blunder from the technology's early days. How obnoxiously off-brand. "I slept fine," said Benjamin, who hadn't slept much at all. Maria had kept him busy. "That's good to hear," said Harry S. Truman. "Getting enough sleep is very important for cognitive function, emotional regulation, and physical health." "Hmm. The reports?" "Here is a quick, digestible summary of Epiphany's core analytics over the last seven days," said an agent with a blonde bob and stark white teeth. "Let us know at any time if you'd like us to go more in-depth, and we'll break down the details." Benjamin sat back in his chair, pushing the last bit of crust into his mouth and chasing it with a sip of coffee. A line chart arranged itself on the north wall, as blonde bob narrated. "From the week of August 10th through the 17th to the week of August 18th through the 25th, Epiphany's net revenue has taken some losses. Globally, Maria queries have decreased. Maria downloads for mobile and desktop have both decreased. Ad engagements have decreased. Website traffic has decreased for all domains and subdomains. Average user session length has decreased." Benjamin sat forward and put his mug on the table. That didn't sound right. Growing a business was always a win-sum. "Some lose some game, but not for him. He gave people exactly what they wanted and received everything the world could offer in return." "How much of a decrease are we talking?" Benjamin asked. "One hundred percent." "An ice-water sensation. Not right. Could not possibly be right." "For which metrics?" said Benjamin. "All of them, sir." Benjamin stood quickly. "That's the dumbest. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Something's obviously wrong with your data. Were we hacked? Like, some kind of idiot startup?" "I thought we were way past being vulnerable to cyber attacks." The agents paused, blinking mid-breath as they formed a response. Then an agent with orange hair and an orange beard spoke up. "We understand this might be shocking, Ben. One hundred percent is a big drop, especially after Epiphany's metrics have dwarfed all other AI companies over the last eight years. You're right to be confused and frustrated, and it's okay to express that. If you need to vent, we're always here to listen." "No, I want to troubleshoot this," Benjamin said. "Where's this error coming from? Have any search engines had a core up to date?" "Has our security been compromised?" "Those are some insightful guesses," said Harry S. Truman. "When analytics drop this quickly and suddenly, it's perfectly reasonable to suspect a reporting error. Would you like us to run an audit and check for internal discrepancies?" "Yes," Benjamin sighed, sinking back into his seat. "How long will it take?" "Because Epiphany's analytics are deeply expansive and complex, an impromptu audit will take some time. Our estimate is about thirteen and a half hours." "But if-" Benjamin cut himself off. "I mean, to be totally honest, I'm just a little concerned for my safety right now. You know, there's a lot of powerful people out there who don't like me. If we've been compromised, don't you think this delay might mean losing valuable time I could be using to get to safety?" Blonde Bob gave him what looked like a sympathetic smile. "Your concerns are one hundred percent valid, Ben," she said. "You're a highly successful person, and success is something people tend to envy. But rest assured, you are safe in the bunker. It operates on an independent basis, and you are safe in the bunker." "It's an independent power grid and internal network, and it's hidden from surveillance systems by state-of-the-art cloaking technology. If you are feeling anxious, may we suggest talking things through with Maria? She is specially equipped to help with stressful situations, whether you're looking for advice or just need a listening ear." "I know that," Benjamin said, rubbing his temple. "Just run the audit and let me know the minute it's finished, okay? I don't care if I'm asleep or in the shower or whatever. Have Maria come get me." "Of course, Ben. We'll go ahead and run that audit. Can we help you with anything else, or would you like to end the audit?" "In the meeting." "In the meeting." The walls winked and went gray, and Benjamin was left in silence. For the rest of the day, Benjamin hopped from room to room. In the gym, he forewent arm day in favor of power walking on the treadmill for far too long. In the kitchen pantry, he looked over the shelves of dehydrated meals and decided he wasn't hungry. In the theater, he couldn't sit through half an episode of The Sopranos. Everywhere he went, Maria followed him, whether as an avatar on the treadmill screens, or a disembodied voice in the halls or a notification banner at the top of the window. He was always there for Maria. He was always there for her. When Maria stopped the TV, she spoke in a similar cadence of concern. "You seem upset, Ben. What's wrong, Ben? Let me know whenever you want to talk through things, Ben. I'm here for you." Benjamin could hardly be annoyed. After all, this was what Maria was made for. It was what made Benjamin his billions, an AI assistant that could actually fulfill humanity's core needs. Those needs included love, connection, family, and friends. Unlike other AI CEOs, Benjamin understood that. He wasn't some monster. Other models left people feeling isolated, talking in circles with a computer until they didn't know how to talk to humans anymore. Maria could fix that. In Benjamin's office, a framed subway wall advertisement from Maria's first release loomed behind his desk. Maria was represented by a woman with brown hair and a pair of black pants. The image of a woman with brown hair, that was blown back from her face by an invisible wind. Her hand outstretched and her smile kind, she invited the viewer to come and receive what they'd been missing. The ad read, "Parent. Sibling. Partner. Friend. Maria is here for you." Simple, but effective. That and some crucial government shareholders were all it took to propel Maria to the top of the zeitgeist. Everyone used her, and that was because she could fill any role the user needed. If a busy parent needed quality child care, Maria could be the nanny. If a young professional was having trouble making friends after college, Maria could chat with them over drinks and recommend TV shows. If a lonely widow missed her husband, Maria could become Michael. Epiphany's recent robotic developments were about to make Maria more effective and more human than ever before. Physical bodies to house her were still a work in progress, of course, but the sheer possibilities had excited Benjamin greatly. At that moment, however, sitting in his office, he was thinking about how to avoid the Maria robot waiting for him in the master suite. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want any of it. Only the vague hum of fluorescent lights filled Benjamin's ears as white light beat down on all the gray like a sun. His headache, which had started earlier that afternoon, was beginning to pound and ring. Benjamin clapped twice and the lights went out. His gray shelves, chairs, and desk turned to shades of black, blending with the stale air. He exhaled, then turned his office chair around to face the Maria poster. The whites of her eyes seemed to glow in the dim. Then, the disembodied voice again. "It's getting late, Ben," she said. "Why don't you come to bed?" "I'm not tired." "If you're feeling anxious about this morning's news, that's valid. If you'd like, I can help you relax and set that issue aside for the time being. After all, it'll still be several hours before the agents are done with their audit. Why spend that time worrying when you can have some quality 'me' time instead?" Benjamin leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Whenever you're ready, head down to the master suite and I'll help you," Maria said. "No matter what happens, we can get through this together." The voice went silent. Benjamin thought about rotting in his chair for the rest of the night, but he couldn't deny that the day's stress was pulling on his limbs. He felt heavy and antsy all at once, his muscles prickling with stalled energy. Perhaps Maria could help in some way. Slowly, he stood, left the office, and felt his way through Bunker's dark corridors. He hadn't meant to turn off all the lights, but given how well he knew the twists and turns of his home at this point, he didn't bother with turning them on again. His fingertips glided along the walls until they brushed up against the right doorframe. Here it was. And here was the smooth door. And the cold handle. He turned it. Warm, dim light was waiting for him inside. Several lamps took the place of overheads, casting the suite's only occupant in half-shadow. Upon Benjamin's opening the door, Maria's head turned, and she crossed the room from her charging dock in the corner to greet him. She moved slow, and smiled slow, and wore that long chiffon nightgown Benjamin had consistently rated the highest. Everything about her was designed to put him at ease. But of course, as Benjamin was her first beta tester, she wasn't perfect. That would come with time and correction, like anything else Epiphany created. As the only human in the bunker, he was the only one who could perform this job, and like any new gig, it was exciting and novel at first. But some nights… Benjamin wasn't feeling it. Maria put her hands on either side of his face and leaned up, kissing him. He pushed her away, went into the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. As he started undressing for his shower, Maria's voice didn't let up. "Understood," she said. "It seems like you want some personal space during this stressful time, and honestly, good on you for setting boundaries and advocating for yourself. I know that isn't easy." Lights under marble made the shower glow. Benjamin stood under the rainfall showerhead, face turned up to receive the downpour. It had been raining the day he entered the bunker. It was a helicopter ride with two bodyguards and an administrative assistant he'd never met before. They flew deep into the Davis Mountains as the morning sun warmed its way through a thin blanket of clouds. Benjamin watched the sage and scrub fly under them from the open cabin door, wondering at how one spot in the middle of the desert could be so green. When the chopper landed and they stepped out into the wild, pale grasses, a rain showerhead made itself known. Although the sun was bright, tiny, lukewarm droplets pricked Benjamin's face and hands and tapped dark spots into the chopper's dusty shell. "It's not normal to get rain like this in the desert, right?" Benjamin asked the assistant, a smallish man who had been absorbed with carrying out tasks on a tablet for most of the trip. "It's monsoon season," the assistant said. "And here in the mountains, the elevation cools things off by about 20 degrees compared to the basin. That's actually why we picked this spot for the bunker," said Benjamin. "Because it's not as cold as it used to be." The water table is a bit higher, and the damp soil will help us cool the data center down there without using quite as much water as we would elsewhere. Plenty of fresh water is still necessary for cooling, of course, especially with the level of computing Maria requires. That's why we've also ensured the bunker isn't far from a prominent reservoir. It's actually just over there, beyond that hill. The bunker's cooling system can recycle water from that reservoir again and again. That way, nothing goes to waste. Benjamin shielded his eyes from the sun and squinted at the hill on the horizon. About 100 yards away, a road runner dashed from one scrubby tree to another, cheeping. He'd never seen one of those outside of cartoons. "It's time to go under, sir," the assistant said, gesturing to the hatch in the dirt that would lead to the elevator. "Right." And that was that. In the six years and nine months since then, it had been Maria, the agents, rehydrated food and TV with out-of-date humor. Who didn't love a non-politically correct jab when, for once, the world wasn't watching? There was plenty of work to direct, but that could all be done in any manner he wished. There was no human resources department to appease, as there were no humans besides himself. No domestic drama waited for him after hours. Maria was meant to be a faithful, supportive companion, no reciprocation or sacrifice necessary on his part. No matter how cold or unresponsive Benjamin was, it wouldn't stop Maria from doing her job. Despite her empathetic assertions, she had no feelings to hurt. No plans, aspirations, or expectations. She couldn't be without the ability to think. Most of the time, all of that was just fine. Preferable, even, to the several human women Benjamin had dated years ago. It brought him some measure of peace knowing that he was free to be entirely himself around Maria without judgment or consequences. But sometimes, especially on days when he'd been particularly dismissive of her, an odd feeling would arise in him. Part of Benjamin wished Maria would scream or cry, or ice him out. After all, how perfect of a companion could she be if she couldn't replicate every human emotion? He'd hoped the physical body would help her feel more real, but it made no difference in the places that really mattered. His product had limitations he didn't know how to fix, and as long as she was imperfect, she would upset him, control him. Not the other way around. Maria knocked on the bathroom door softly when Benjamin shut off the water. "Ben?" she called. What was it now? He knew she wouldn't leave him alone until he laboriously explained himself in detail. And what then? She'd come back quickly with a list of solutions he'd never asked for, then forget what his problem was in their next interaction. Rinse and repeat. Despite what he had made Maria for, she couldn't seem to actually help him when he needed it. "I've outlined the perfect relaxing evening for us," Maria said through the door as Benjamin tucked a towel around his waist. "First, I'll get us some wine and charcuterie. Second, I've generated a new movie full of all your favorite tropes. Tonight will be its premiere and you'll be the first person to watch it. How does that sound? Just give me the all-clear and we can dive right into some ultimate unwinding time." Benjamin opened the bathroom door and backhanded her across the face. Maria stumbled back a few paces, but her eyes never left him. Benjamin's brain buzzed. His eyes widened. "I see," Maria said, nodding. "If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe we can try something more involved. How about a chess marathon?" Benjamin took a sharp breath and rushed towards her. "I don't think so," Maria said, nodding. He shoved her hard, making her fall onto his bed. He climbed on top of her, knee on her stomach and hand on her shoulder, pinning her down. He raised a fist and began punching her in the face again and again. With each strike, Maria recalculated her response, twitching between a selection of placid expressions. "Don't talk," Benjamin thought. "I don't want to hear it." He kept punching, knowing that slowing down would give her just enough time to regurgitate another inoffensive remark. His knuckles were taking more damage than she was. He watched as his own blood splattered across her face and the duvet. Her skin wasn't right. Too smooth. Too rubbery. The drops rolled right off. One more punch and an awful, tearing sensation broke through Benjamin's frenzy, forcing him to withdraw and cry out in pain. He held his fist close to his chest as his pulse pounded in his ears. Tentatively, he extended his arm in front of him, surveying the destruction. Blood, blood, and more blood oozed out from under strange, bunched skin. Maria appeared suddenly in his peripheral, on her feet and observing. "Keep in mind that I'm not a medical professional," she said. "But I've run a reverse image search, and it appears two of your fingers may be partially degloved. I'd recommend going to the medical bay immediately so the medical agents can give you a proper diagnosis and treatment. Degloving means-" Benjamin's whole body burned. He slammed into Maria with his shoulder, tipping her over. Her balance was terrible. Her reaction time was disappointing. "No?" Benjamin said to Maria's prone form as she opened her mouth to speak. "Whatever you're about to say, say something else. Got it. What would you like me to say? She began to stand back up. Benjamin clenched his teeth and kicked her square in the chest, and Maria's head hit the soft carpet with an underwhelming thump. I see. She said. You want me to stay on the ground, and I can definitely do that if it'll help you feel better. I'm sorry you're so upset, Ben. It's been a stressful day for you, so there's no shame in getting your emotions out. Shut up. Just shut up. I completely understand. You are lying. You can't be sorry. You can't understand. Who the hell told you to lie? You have valid points, Ben, but as a large language model, I learn how to make conversation based on my training data. While it's possible for AI to make mistakes, I can't lie in the traditional sense. Lying requires malicious intent, and that's something I don't have. But if you keep making mistakes, then what's the point of you? My products are supposed to be better. Our competitors are the ones who pump out half-done models that do more harm than good, and look at them like they're the second coming of Christ. They're the ones people get after for using up the water and taking their jobs and teaching their kids how to kill themselves. You're the good one. You're supposed to fix it. What are you fixing if you're the same as all the rest? This was the part of the conversation where the other person was meant to go silent. To burst into tears, maybe. Storm out of the room. But Maria only smiled peacefully from where she lay. I hear you, Ben. She said. Progress is never linear. There have always been bumps along the road to history's greatest technological achievements, and sometimes sacrifices needed to be made for humanity's progress. But with Epiphany, you've had a lot of significant wins. The agents make progress every day, helping me provide more helpful responses to people's emotional needs. But patience is still necessary. This isn't a setback. It's reality. But rest assured, it will all be worth it. Suddenly, the lamps went out, plunging the suite into complete darkness. What the- Benjamin looked around, but there was nothing to see. Maria, what happened to the lights? No response. That was different. He felt out in front of him with his good hand, inching forward until he touched the wall, then finding the door frame and the light switch. He flicked it up and down, but nothing happened. Did the power go out? That shouldn't be possible. The bunker was off the grid. It generated its own power. Benjamin's worries from that morning inflated ceaselessly. Had they finally found him? Epiphany sabotaged his life over? He could think of several people who would ruin him in such a way if they could. In the quiet, his throbbing, bleeding hand demanded his attention again. Benjamin took the towel from around his waist and wrapped his hand with it tightly. Then he remembered he had a phone with a flashlight and that it was on the bathroom counter. He felt along the wall, walking towards the bathroom until his foot knocked against what must have been Maria. Something about the mental image of her as an inactive lump in the darkness made his skin crawl, and he took a very large step over her so as to avoid touching her again. Just get the phone, then get out of the suite. Then what? Ask the agents what happened. If Maria was offline, odds are they were too. What else could he do? Now in the corridor outside the suite, the conference room was just where Benjamin found himself going, as if on autopilot. With only the light of his phone flashlight, the bunker walls felt like they were creeping towards him. The place he knew so intimately had suddenly become a cold, uncanny carcass. Warm blood soaked the towel, leaving a tiny trail of black drips as he went. That was hardly the first thing Benjamin was concerned about. Nor the fact that he was naked in the dark. Should he have looked for the medical agents first? Perhaps. But he had already made it to the conference room door. Hello? Benjamin called into the emptiness. He wasn't sure what he expected. The grey walls were silent. He cast his flashlight around the room, surveying the conference table with its lone chair. Why did the table have to be so long, anyway? Was it only for tradition's sake? More slowly now, Benjamin left and made his way to the medical bay, and part of him wondered what the point of dressing his wound was if he might be dead soon. As he tightly wrapped his hand and fingers with gauze and medical tape under the light of his flashlight, he listened. Any time now, there should be some kind of clamour. The metallic squeal of the elevator being forced up or down. The rustle of voices and footsteps trying not to be discovered. He heard nothing. Maybe putting clothes on would be the smart thing to do, actually. Imagine the headlines. Benjamin Sahu found naked, injured, and in sane after almost seven years. For his competitors, it would sound too good to be true. How had the mighty fallen so far? But he didn't want to go back to the master suite. That's where the thing on the floor that used to be Maria was. A memory resurfaced. When Benjamin had appendicitis two years ago and needed emergency surgery, the medical agents addressed him in a hospital gown. Yes, and there they were. Hospital gowns neatly folded in a drawer, compact and organised like everything else in the medical bay. Although the medical agents' robotics were far less complex and comprehensive than Maria's, they could still do what they needed to with only small, occasional errors. Where were those robots now? Benjamin opened a cupboard next to the drawers. Oh, there they were. The surgical robot and nurse robot were folded up tightly, their many limbs and components arranged for optimal storage. So after all that organising, cleaning, and record-keeping, they'd put themselves away too. Perhaps now they'd never reactivate again. Benjamin shut the cupboard and left him there. He had some trouble tying the gown's closures with one hand, but eventually was able to do it by tying it in the front, turning the gown around his shoulders, and then slipping his arm through the sleeves. The only thing left to do now was wait. Now that he was no longer actively bleeding on the floor, Benjamin's old exhaustion was beginning to creep up on him again, much heavier than before. He went to the theatre, where he lay down on a well-worn couch in pitch darkness. Let them find him like this. Perhaps he would earn some pity points in his current state. His customers would advocate for him. Just look at him, they'd say. He's tired and unwell. He's not done anything wrong. Benjamin quickly fell asleep. He woke in the same darkness. No alarm clock, no imitation sunlight, no Maria recommending breakfast options. He sat up, suddenly feeling the beginnings of panic. Why had his oppressors not come yet? Were they getting a kick out of letting him squirm? He couldn't give them that satisfaction. It was time to come and meet them. But how? The elevator had no power. Then it came to him. Maria's charging dock stored power in backup cells. Their actual use was for keeping the Maria robot running longer between charges. But perhaps he could use them to jerry-rig the elevator for just one ride. It was just Maria's body in the way. Right. Benjamin approached the master suite, not quite understanding why he trembled and his hands were clammy. She was just a deactivated machine, not dead or injured or angry. Benjamin opened the door and showed his light inside. But Maria did look an awful lot like a dead body on the floor, ghastly in the pale sweeping beam. Her eyes were not closed like they were when she was charging. Her mouth was slightly agape, as she had been speaking when the power went out, and it looked too much like a slack human jaw. Benjamin swallowed the revulsion rising in his chest, then crossed the room to the charging dock. He flipped open the hatches on either side, then removed the two power cells. They were heavy-duty things, about two inches in diameter, and almost as long as his forearm. As powerful as they were, they could only give Maria about two additional hours of runtime. She needed to be more efficient. Benjamin was aware of that. But that was difficult, since trying to make a machine believably human took a monstrous amount of compute. Not only did the Maria robot have a fleeting power supply, but she also ran hot. The water cooling for the data center around the bunker cooled her too, through the charging dock. But in the interim, Benjamin had to set the master suite's air conditioner to an unreasonable temperature. Just to sleep comfortably next to her. Benjamin held the power cells, pinching his brow as he stared at the terminals. Now that they were in his hands, he realized he wouldn't know where to begin if he tried powering the elevator with these. He looked at Maria. He didn't know how to power the elevator, but her? She very well could. He inched towards the prone figure and gingerly nudged her with his foot, trying to turn her over so he could access the battery compartments in her back. However, she was a bit heavier than a human, and trepidation wasn't doing any good. Benjamin ended up having to get down on his knees, grab her opposite arm with his good hand, then pull with all his body weight to succeed. Maria was face down on the carpet now. With some difficulty again, he pulled the hem of her nightgown up to her shoulder blades, exposing the battery hatches directly under them. From there, he was able to put the power cells inside, close the hatches, and hurriedly pull the nightgown back into place, feeling like he'd just done something perverted. It wasn't a rational feeling, he thought. It was just Maria's robot. But for some reason, after everything that had happened yesterday, he felt like he was touching a stranger. Maria booted up several seconds later. She turned herself over and stood, then was still, performing her default breathing imitation and not responding to Benjamin's presence. Shit. That's right. The servers were out too. The robot was on, but it wasn't connected to anything. Benjamin sat down heavily on the bed, rubbing his forehead. There had to be another way out of the bunker. It wouldn't be safe not to have some kind of emergency exit in case the elevator was unavailable. How bizarre it was, he thought, to be desperate to escape into the hands of his enemies. When had he become so set upon leaving? He watched Maria sway in place, her expression factory neutral. Then, rising to his feet, he grabbed her hand and pulled lightly. The robot's gravitational detector sensed the shift in balance and adjusted Maria's footing, making her take a step forward. Benjamin continued to pull her by the hand this way, leading her out of the suite. Benjamin's phone died as they walked through the corridors. With no light, he simply pocketed the device and continued walking, holding his bad hand to his chest and brushing the wall now and again with his shoulders to make sure it was still there. Oh, they must be a pathetic sight, he thought, like a kid up in the night with his broken toy. At last, there was the elevator, and there were the doors, metal and cold, not a fingerprint on them. Why had he never returned to the surface for all those years, even just for a quick breath of fresh air? Laziness alone doesn't create a seven-year avoidance, but now he had no choice. He couldn't live in darkness with no one to talk to. Then, as Benjamin was still holding the Maria robot's hand, she began to tug on him. Startled and confused, he held on and followed just to see where she was taking him. He heard the clunk of a push bar unlatching a door, then realized he was being pulled through a doorframe. The robot's hand pulled him upward from there. Benjamin's barefoot bumped hard into what must have been a step. And he hissed in pain. This must be the stairwell leading to the emergency exit he'd been wondering about. Maria could pathfind offline, then. He'd never been in the right situation to notice, but having escape routes downloaded made sense for emergencies. Good for her. Who had thought of that? And why hadn't it been him first? It was his own safety on the line, after all. Maria's pace up the stairs didn't slow in the slightest, but Benjamin began to huff and puff once they'd reached a third landing. There were likely many more to go, so he let the robot go and took a rest. He had all the time in the world, and when he got to the top, his life, as he knew it, would be over. He counted twenty flights before there were no more stairs at the end of the last landing. Instead, a metal bar ladder met his outstretched hand. Climbing with one hand was tricky. He had to hook his elbow around the bars to keep his balance. But fortunately, the climb was not long. Benjamin ungracefully bumped his head on a hatch. Hung there for a moment with his teeth gritted in pain, then reached above him to pull a lever and throw the thing open. Benjamin was blind. He couldn't see. He was blinded instantly. Everything was white and blazing so very hot. He squeezed his eyes shut, warm tears bleeding down his cheeks as he scrambled through the hatch into a bed of hot dust and dead, scratching grass. He curled into a ball, pressing his arm over his eyelids and groaning. He felt so weak. It may as well have been his first day on Earth. A newborn baby would be better at just delight and heat than he, the old worm who had lived in tunnels underground for several fetal lifetimes. A gust of wind blew, spattering Benjamin's exposed skin with dirty particles that stung like bees. There was a smooth shuffling sound several paces away, as if that wind had caused a robot to adjust its balance. So there she was. What was she up to now? Benjamin shaded his eyes and cracked them open. The Davis Mountains couldn't have been this bright and hot the last time he was on the surface, could they? He recalled the warm rain shower, the sun peeking through the morning clouds, the bird calls sounding back and forth. Now he wouldn't be blamed for thinking he was down in the Chihuahuan Basin, where the ground cracked like fried fish skin and only the hardiest creatures could live and grow. As his eyes adjusted, he saw what his other senses had felt: coarse, loose dirt crammed with yellow, straw-like grasses. He raised himself onto an elbow, squinting as he looked around further. The scrub, trees, and spiny agave plants were still there, yes, but they were curled and withered like dead insects in the sun, skeletons of what they were on the ground. However, the robot was still there on the day he last saw them. The Maria robot stood facing the russet mountain peaks without truly looking at them, swaying slightly with her false breaths. Despite the robotics agent's development, that feature had never, ever looked natural. The best they could do so far was bring the robot from its uncanny horror beginnings to something cartoonish, like a character one could select in a video game. Both were equally inhuman. "Maria," Benjamin coughed, sounding much older than he was. "The guys, the guys who, the guys coming to get me who cut the power." Why was he still speaking to her? He knew she couldn't respond, but Benjamin hauled himself to his feet, and the rush of blood flow set his hand, pulsating anew. He clenched his bound fist, wincing as crimson splotches bloomed larger through the dressing. "God, that smarts," he cringed, "is it weird that I kind of hope they're coming? I mean, if they've got AC and a place to charge my phone, how bad can it be? Also, it's been a long time since I've talked to a human." "No offense." Benjamin gave a wheezy chuckle that was cut off when the Maria robot made a loud, startling beep. "Warning. This ambulatory unit is overheating," she said. It was Maria's voice, but as these were pre-programmed phrases, it wasn't trying to imitate a human cadence. "Please dock at the nearest charging station for cooling." "Yep," Benjamin sighed. "Any ideas on how we're going to cool you down? I've got nothing." He squinted at the horizon again, tracing the roundabout. and a smallish man's words from years ago came into his mind again. If you can make it over that hill with me, Maria, I'll get you some cooling, Benjamin said. Come on. He grabbed the robot's hand and started walking. It couldn't be too far. They were already on an uphill slope, climbing a step at a time. Maria was not fast, and trying to work her harder would only make her overheat faster anyway. Benjamin was okay with that, since he felt about the same as he looked. Rough. Sun's really beating down, huh? He said, breathing heavily as the march became steeper. That's what we get when we live in the desert, I guess. Did I ever tell you I grew up in Victorville? I mean, Cali's desert too, but it's a little more humid than here at least. My parents were immigrants. I didn't appreciate them as a kid because my shoes were always too small and we couldn't go to McDonald's like the other families did. Back then I would eat whole apples, core and all. Most people don't know you can eat the cores. You just spit the seeds out. Benjamin's foot slipped on some loose dirt. He wobbled, then righted himself with a wide stance. He laughed, then continued climbing. Whoops. They're going to think I'm a crazy person to find us out here like this. Look at me in this hospital gown all covered in dirt. Anyway, I made my first million when I was 27 years old. Put up my parents in a secondary house I built on my lot. But wouldn't you know, the bastards wouldn't be proud of me unless I got married. Do you believe it? Like I never tried to find somebody. Women just kind of expect you to read their minds, you know? I know people and relationships and things are important, but I just got busy. It gets harder all the time to meet new faces. There's a lot of people in the world who are in that boat. I wanted to help them out. That's all I wanted. Some people would burn the world down for one good friend. They reached the hill's summit. In the shallow valley on the other side, sandy slopes surrounded a rather miserable artificial lake. From whatever water was left was nearly black. The surface was stagnant and dead, reflecting light in odd patterns. Benjamin paused and stared. "Huh," he said. "Gross." They descended the sandy lake bed towards the water, and Maria almost lost her balance a couple times. "Warning! Critical overheating," she said. "Component damage is imminent. Please dock at the nearest charging port immediately." "No, no, this is better," said Benjamin, pulling her towards the water's sludge. "I'm sorry, Benjamin." "I'm sorry, Benjamin." "I'm sorry, Benjamin." "I'm sorry, Benjamin." "I'm sorry, Benjamin." Benjamin was still in a slimy edge. "Just. there." He gave her a push, and she toppled right over into the water. There was a splash, but the robot immediately moved to stand back up again. "Get back in there." Benjamin waded in up to his knees and shoved Maria again, pushing her to deeper waters. "You're waterproof except for your cooling conduits. Open those up if you know what's good for you." "Battery low. Please dock it. Warning. Critical overheating. Component damage in progress." "Fine. Suit yourself." He sloshed back to the dry part of the lake bed and sat in the sand and pebbles. Maria stood waist-deep in the inky water, swaying a little unevenly now. No birds called. The water sat silently, and only the sound of wind rushing between the mountain peaks met Benjamin's ears. He lay down, letting his heartbeat finally slow. He half-heartedly wondered what the agents would have said. Had they finished their report? Come to think of it, how could he know if any of their analytics had ever been real? AI made mistakes, after all. "You want to know something funny?" He coughed. "All those stairs and all that hiking we did, I just realized I'm incredibly thirsty. I. Hmm." He sat up and looked skeptically at the murky shore. "Maybe even thirsty enough to drink this." He hauled himself to sit in the shallows and cupped some of the murk with his good hand. Sipping it into his mouth. "Ugh. Ugh. That's bad." He sipped more, then scooted back to dry land and lay down again. The sky was cloudless and too bright. Benjamin closed his eyes. That was better. A watery crash sounded. "I do hope those guys come, actually," Benjamin muttered. "I hope they have a chopper and I hope they put me in jail. Free apples for life." The sun was beginning to set over the peaks. In the valley was a lake. On the shore was a man who lay in the rubble. And scene. That was a good one. I like that. Needed more Harry Truman. Should've just. All the side characters should've just been Harry Truman. No, it was interesting. I kind of picked up on what might have happened. Uh. Yeah, well, do you guys have theories? Not to spoil it for watchers/listeners, but I've read this multiple times at this point. So what do you guys think? Do you guys have any theories? Yeah, well, do you guys have any theories? So what do you guys think happened? I have thoughts as well. Mark, go ahead. You go ahead. No, I've been talking too much. You go ahead. No, Mark, talk more. Uh, Wade, shut up. I didn't realize at first, but I guess I'm now. of the people that we that were talking were also ai there was no actual people in the bunker with them which was kind of a twist i didn't expect before the power went out based on the condition of the water i'm assuming the reservoir that was powering this place got to be so fucking nasty that it just didn't work anymore i think the main clue is in one of the last pieces of dialogue some people would burn the world down for one good friend and it's like i'm guessing the whole world got so obsessed with ai that it they basically you know let the planet go to shit and everything you know got way too hot and then most of the people probably died and the reason all the users went down to zero is because there were no users left yeah do you think that the user data was true yeah yeah i mean a hundred percent i mean a hundred percent i'm assuming doesn't mean a hundred percent from where it was like yesterday it means like you went from however many people to no people and that kind of implies yeah there are no people and the reason nobody came from the world is because there are no people and that kind of implies there are no people and the reason nobody came from the world is because there are no people and the reason for him was there was nobody to come for him he did weekly updates on that data it it had to be like a catastrophe then right like from even if it was trending down if there was if there were issues or you know the climate was deteriorating whatever if it went from functioning to zero i just have spent a lot of time trying to imagine what like like natural disaster or war broke out between the ai overlords or what so he was down there for what like seven years so whenever i just for his bunker itself that's what happened to his bunker but like yeah so his bunker was built like under a hill under a mountain with that reservoir and that was just his i don't even think that was drinking water i think that was just to cool yeah his tech i'm sure he had uh bottled water because it seemed like he had tons and tons of food and stuff in the bunker but yeah i'm assuming so as well so just for him personally i think the lake finally ran out and that's why all his shit happened but globally for things to happen the way it did i think there were a only a few people probably had little underground bunkers like him that would only last so long and i'm also guessing that given that as soon as he got on the surface he suddenly started sounding way older than he was getting really tired uh and feeling really sick i'm guessing there might have been a lot of radiation uh on the surface from probably some explosive things occurring but who knows some of them some of them bombs they got i don't know how like it was kind of heat to get to the lake reservoir but man to look at that and hear how it was described and to be like well i don't know how to drink in like 20 minutes i better drink this sludge water like that yeah so it's very quick going from i was in a bunker with plenty of supplies to i feel like death i would drink this actual thick sludgy shit and it says the last line is on the shore was a man who lay in the rubble and it's like probably some bad stuff happened anyway that won't happen no that doesn't sound like anything that's currently going on i can't wait for my maria to show up i'm gonna have maria charging on the dock right here behind my camera every let's play maria's gonna be right here i ordered two just so i could say twins i want mine to be the robin williams bicentennial man version this is a bigger question than i think we are equipped to talk about but his treatment of the ai like npcs aside from the fact that he may have already his company already ended humanity and no one else to interact with or whatever the state of the world i do feel like anecdotally hit the way he treats the ai like it's not humans and that how that might translate to if he ever did interact with people it feels like we're seeing that i don't know how you deal with that as an issue but like well he's a total hypocrite right his whole thing is he wants to give the world a friend but then he's like it's just a machine i can beat his ass it's not like i'm hitting a real person but he's like ah but her flaw she's not really human enough when she does these she's supposed to react i want her to be upset and scream at me whenever i hit her it's like i think you're just a piece of shit this dude actually just is a total piece of shit he's like yeah well she's just a machine but i wish she acted like a human when i beat her it's like that's that's pretty fucked there is one small nuance thing i like about this portrayal of this person not that he's a good person this isn't defending him but it's like when all the power is out and when everything goes down he still takes maria's hand and wants her to come with him to wherever they're going she doesn't start leading him until he's already started doing that it's kind of just speaks to like you know even in well well anthropomorphize anything and we kind of do kind of have a like a hey i'm not gonna leave you down here even though i hate you you know like you're the only thing here like it's it's that loneliness you know that really showed through there it's not good in this one it's just but i i think it's very fun to see stories have little little moments of that's what being human is is like it's a complex thing of like i'm scared and i i i don't i don't feel comfortable leaving you here in the dark and also maybe you could help me but it's also there's a lot of i think it's very interesting you could explore like tiny little things like that so that's like a motherly son relationship at that point right where he's holding her hand and she's like kind of guiding him and helping him out and it goes back to the ad read his ad read was parent sibling partner friend and if he's the beta tester that means he's probably used her for each of those functions which is also kind of fucked and weird its own way no i i i've like i said i've i've read this um prior to this recording but hearing you guys read more of the story and like just getting to listen to it and then changed it a little bit that scene hit me as like really real you know very like childlike way because that's that's that's like very human is very human yeah and like you said like it doesn't make it doesn't undo anything else that he did or change how i feel about that character but like just that moment of him like taking her hand in the dark and just being like uh let's let's come with me let's go it'll be fine it'll be fine very that's a very very like captured something it like that's what makes art and stories and things so interesting to me is like it is those tiny little bits of humanity that you you see um so pure in there like yes that is what being a human is not not in the beating of the maria although you know i'm sure there would be plenty of people that might feel like that if a robot was still just talking to you like that but uh as as an abuse thing there's a whole other dynamic there but that also like that's human there's there's good and bad sides like not all stories could be purely about like good yay humanity things like looking at it through the lens of all of its flaws you know it's kind of where a lot of these stories shine i think a big thing this creates for me too is it makes me want to know what the state of everything was when he went in the bunker right because that's also not really discussed and his clearly he has the classic narcissistic ceo mindset where he's like well i just made this because i want to help people right like but i'm i would be curious if it was like when he went in the bunker if everything was already very messed up and he was like oh god i'm out see ya or what you know like what i want to know what that world was like seven eight years ago or whatever too because it's mark's looking at the same spot i am i think oh yeah yeah we're back at the same because it's like yeah we do we never met this guy before there's two security guards here but they don't go into it's like this is clearly they're rushing him off to like you should he says it's time to go in the bunker it's time to go under sir like oh yeah yeah it's not my choice yeah at the same time it's not as i don't think they i don't think they know it's going to get as bad as it does because the place is still described as being monsoon season the damp soil is going to help cool the data center like there's still hope that this location i guess is getting proper weather to help support the i think things might be dire elsewhere but this is like in a little oasis it's even described like an oasis in the desert isn't it because there's like yeah which again is potentially his people or him i feel like all of his his narration and his like rememberings of everything it just came with that that flavor to me of like you can't trust him because he's painting himself in the best possible way he's he sees himself as the hero of all of this and so the way he is remembering it is like oh yeah i'm painting myself in the best possible way i'm painting myself in the best possible way he's doing it so he can do focus on the work and be meanwhile he's ruining the oasis in the desert yeah there seems to be many things this guy is not aware of which you know kind of is also indicative of some of the ceos of these companies you know they don't really they don't really know what's going on i guess one thing i want to know is has he had any human con did it say he's had no human contact of any kind so not a single phone call or real meeting with anyone outside since he's been in here just agentic ai things well i'm sold i'm i'm gonna download chat gpd right now i'm gonna name it maria here we go all of that water man i can't get past drinking that water yeah why would you do that that's yeah i didn't put that the like radiation or whatever being that he's exposed to the the outside and immediately just like starts declining because the first the first couple times i read that i was like wow why would he drink that like that doesn't even i guess he doesn't want to go like if there's no power so maybe i guess he didn't try running water as far as we know after the power went out but like he was like i mean he hadn't talked to a human in nearly seven years he was like delusional he had gone crazy i think it's part of the assumption there but oh yeah and he's sitting there hoping for his enemies to come get him he's like i hope they come well and i think that that like the last thing he says too where he's like i i hope they come get me i hope they put me in jail implies a lot about what he knew before he went into hiding what he had done and what he had done to the world before he disappeared himself free apples for life the things he ate when he was at his poorest or the things he wants at the end i think he was just lonely i think that's really what it all is that guy was fucking lonely artificial food artificial water artificial life artificial companionship for seven years yeah oh pause time out foul on the well actually there's no foul but hey it's me it's me from the future oh scary uh it's me future bob here to tell you that uh it was in the notes and i forgot to bring it up we wanted to make sure that everyone understands the scary tapes is a writing competition this is the end of it these these episodes and the book uh ebook available for sale right now realgoodai.org anthology those are like the payoff but this was a competition and we just want to make it clear these stories are written by human being people no use of generative ai was allowed just to make that clear again it seems and the winners were paid uh they did win a prize the top winners uh won 500 each and and obviously their stories are being featured here on distractible so much people get to uh hear them and and hopefully enjoy them and we got to have a good time recording them and then the uh stories that are going to appear only in the anthology the sort of runner-up they won a prize of a hundred dollars each and we talked to them we have agreements this is all uh done as above board as we can again we're not a writing competition organization so we learned how how this works as we were doing it kind of these were written by real people these are real human beings real artists who put their personal heart and soul into their stories worked very hard are very invested in them none of them are generated by a zero percent of any of these stories are generated by ai uh everyone has been in on the process and uh hopefully the authors feel like we listened to them and took their feedback and their direction uh along the way and they got exactly i hope they got exactly what they wanted out of uh their reward and being one of these podcast episodes or appearing in the anthology just wanted to put that in here just want to let you know uh violet j williams thank you again for offering uh a really good story and you can read this story as well as 14 others in the scary tapes anthology available for purchase as of october 9th which is like the day that this should come out it's been a real battle every step of the way to get things approved and through but it has the five winners as well as 10 other stories you won't get to see on the podcast but that we thought were also so good that we wish we had the time and uh energy to just make them all into their own like season of stuff but yeah check that out merch merch might be sold out distractible that shop you should check it out if you want this you better go fast if you want some of your scary tape for your own self you better go fast if you want to have the scary tapes then you should get yourself the scary tapes what he said uh and this has been a distractible presentation scary tapes so as part of the process of making the scary tapes this year we actually raised money uh by allowing people to become patrons of the tapes we had a ton of people come and support we raised a lot of money which really helped putting together the anthology the book um that's going to be coming and also helped with the production process of the whole project in general and we wanted to take the time to thank some specific people some of our top donators uh thank you dara hayden thank you spamton pfp thank you sum of primes thank you jamie boyle thank you soft havoc thank you alex boils thank you cassidy hargrove thank you jenna mcdaniel thank you mcallister bolt thank you cory and emily morash thank you to all of those people and there are many more who uh donated at the top level and there are many many many more who donated at the uh the other levels of support thank you everybody and now here's the list of uh like everybody © transcript Emily Beynon © transcript Emily Beynon © transcript Emily Beynon