There Are 4 Types of Tired—Discover Yours To Get Your Energy Back

Last month, I canceled plans with friends three times in one week. And I wasn't too busy. I didn't have too much going on. I physically could not make myself go. I was literally just too tired. It felt so overwhelming. But the thing is, I was sleeping well. I was exercising. I was eating well. And I was still exhausted all of the time. No matter what I did, I was struggling to have the energy to do both what I needed to do every day at my job, in my chores, all of that stuff, and to do the stuff that I want to do, like go out with my friends, and do fun stuff with Zach and learn new hobbies. So as always, I was like, what does the science say about this? So I dove into the research and I realize something crazy. There is not just one type of tired. There are actually four distinct types. And we really only talk about one of them, the type of tired that you are when you need more sleep. And we ignore the other three types. And if we don't know what type of tired we are, we cannot do the right thing to fix it. That is the reason that you still feel like garbage after sleeping in on Saturday or after taking that vacation that you've been counting down to four months or after canceling all of your plans to stay in for the night. You are not addressing the right type of tired. You're not addressing the type of tired that you are. So today I'm going to try my absolute best to consolidate all of that research to help you identify what type of tired you are. So you can get the right type of rest and you can feel so much better. Welcome to the Liz Moody Podcast where we share real doable solutions to your trickiest problem. So you can feel as good as possible every single day. I'm your host Liz. I've been a journalist for over two decades. I have spent my entire career learning how to ask the right questions, even if they are taboo, even if they're uncomfortable, so that you can get the answers that will actually change your life. Okay, I'm going to describe four scenarios. I want you to pick the one that feels most like your current state. Do not overthink it. Just go with your gut. And also if you feel like more than one resonates with you, that is cool. That is totally common. Just note that and we will go from there. Scenario one, you get home from a long day or maybe you have worked from home and you were just white. You've had a ton of meetings. You've had Zoom calls. You've answered a million emails. Maybe you have done childcare and you've done a lot of chores. Your brain feels like it's buzzing, but it's not actually thinking. Like if somebody asked you a really simple question right now, like what do you want for dinner? You would genuinely struggle to answer it. Maybe you had big plans for the evening to do a workout or read a book or hang out with a friend, but you are so fried that you cannot quite bring yourself to overcome any of those hurdles. So instead you pull out your phone and you scroll for a few hours or you put on some reality TV. You're just like, I'm wiped out. I just want to zone out for a second scenario two. Technically, you might not have had that many tasks today or maybe you have, but that is not like a prerequisite for a scenario two. But up in your brain, you are coordinating. You are asking your partner to do this. You're reminding your coworker about a deadline. You have a running list of packages that need to be returned and doctor's appointments that need to be made. You have all of that going through your head all day long. Also, everybody around you feels a little bit annoying. Maybe you stayed calm during a difficult conversation, but like inside in your head, you wanted to scream. Maybe something upsetting happened with your family or your partner, and you just pushed it down because you didn't have the time or the energy or the capacity to deal with it. You are the person that everybody leans on and nobody is asking you how you are doing. Scenario three. Your body feels physically tired. Your eyelids feel almost like sandbaggy, a little heavy, a little itchy. If you are being very, very honest with yourself, you know that you didn't get enough sleep last night or the night before or maybe even the night before that. Maybe you cannot remember the last time that you got a really good night of sleep. You need your caffeine in the morning. Maybe you jokingly tell people not to talk to you until you've had your coffee or your matcha, your legs feel heavy, a workout feels impossible. If somebody told you to lie down right now, you would be asleep in under two minutes. Scenario four. The world feels heavy. You're reading about wars and political strife and climate stuff, and it all just feels deeply exhausting. But it's not just the news. It's also the rest of your life. You might have people in your life, but feel like nobody really knows or understands you. You have conversations, but they stay on the surface like, "How's work?" And what did you do this weekend? And you're just talking about the same things over and over. Every day you wake up and you do the same thing you go to work, you come home, you eat dinner in front of the TV, you talk to your partner, maybe, you talk to some friends, you do your child care. But whatever it is, it's the same thing over and over. You're repeating it all again the next day. Okay, so those are four scenarios. Hopefully you saw yourself in one or several of those. But also, because I am very, very extra, I made you an entire quiz with an even deeper breakdown of all of the types of tired. You can find that at lismoody.com/tired. I will remind you at the end too, so you can listen first. And you can get the solutions for all of this before you go and take the deeper quiz. If you picked scenario one, you are what I'm calling input tired. Scenario two, you are emotionally tired. Scenario three, you are physiologically tired. And scenario four is existentially tired. We are going to go through every single one. We're going to talk about why it happens, what the research says, and most importantly, how to actually fix it. And also, again, just reminder, it is totally fine and actually quite, quite common if you are multiple ones at once. Let's start with scenario one that is input tired. I think this is one that a lot of people are dealing with right now and one that we do not talk about or recognize enough. Input tired is what happens when you've had a lot of stimuli coming in, but not really any depth or room for processing. It is like bombarding your brain with quick pings that don't release stick. You have scrolled through the news. You've had six back-to-back meetings. You've listened to a podcast while cooking while also half-reading a text from your mom. Your brain has been taking stuff in all day, all week, all month, but you haven't actually had time to process anything. And then you feel wiped out and you're like, well, I should rest, but you're too tired to do anything other than scroll or watch TV or do both at the same time. Second screen viewing, I'm very guilty of it too. You have also trained your brain to want and need all of these different stimuli. So when you have an in-between moment, you reach for your phone without even thinking about it. So you're stuck in the cycle that's making the problem worse. I personally call this computer tab syndrome. Psychologists will talk about it in the context of cognitive load. You have load, but basically think of your brain as a computer and you have all of these tabs in Windows open. And you never really close out all of these windows. You never process them. And eventually you hit cognitive overload, which makes you perform worse on pretty much everything. Like the windows are trying to load the pages of the chart and they like cannot do it. It makes you feel anxious. It makes you feel jittery and almost it's like itchy discomfort. That's the thing I feel when I'm like reaching for my photo. The time I'm like, oh, I just like need something to fill the sphealing up. And it makes you exhausted. So here is the critical part. Input tired does not need more sleep. It does not need a bed rot day. Input tired needs silence. It needs the absence of stimuli so that your brain can process everything that it's taken in. And it needs a dopamine rebalance when I'm feeling input tired. I look for opportunities that I would normally have input that I can try to be input free. Like on my walks. I normally listen to music or podcasts. If I'm input tired, I will walk in silence. If I'm input tired, I also set a one screen rule for myself. A lot of people try to go fully screen free when they're input tired. Like they just have this intuitive sense that they should do a digital detox or a dopamine detox or whatever we see online. But over and over in my own life, I have seen that this just like doesn't work and experts on the podcast say that too. It just doesn't work. Just don't go extreme. It is too big of an ask. We are all addicted to our inputs. Our dopamine levels are all fuck. So the swap for me here isn't like go cold turkey. It's do one screen at a time. It's to switch from short form to long form. So I'm still getting entertained. But I'm not like scrolling and I'm watching a movie or a TV show. I'm reading a book. I'm doing one task at a time. And that's not just with like screens. I'm setting a timer and I'm doing email for 20 minutes. And I'm not doing anything other than email for 20 minutes. And then I'm setting another timer and I'm working on my podcast prep for 20 minutes and I'm not jumping back and forth to like my email inbox and then to my Slack and then to a word doc. I know that feels like you're doing productive work. So it feels different than scrolling. But your brain is not perceiving it as different than scrolling. That is your brain looking for these little bumps of dopamine. Also, anything that helps balance your dopamine is going to help with input tired too because that imbalance is the thing that's keeping you looking for all of these. the input hit, so that imbalance is the thing that is perpetuating the cycle. You've probably seen Red Light everywhere lately, and honestly, I was very skeptical of it, like, how can one thing help hair growth and skin and period cramps and thyroid health and energy? So, I brought Dr. Vivian Chen, who is the founder of Loombox onto the podcast, and she finally explained the science in a way that made it all make sense. The short version. Red Light targets your mitochondria, which are the powerhouses of your cells, so it literally gives your cells more energy to repair, regenerate, and function better. That's why you get these localized benefits like less knee pain or better skin or calmer stomach, and more systemic energy. In fact, there are over a thousand studies showing benefits from quicker COVID recovery times to healthier thyroid function, to less depression and anxiety, to better joint pain, to skin health and hair health and scalp health, and all of these things because the Red Light's work on the mitochondria in the different places that you put it, and then it's also going to work on your body as a whole. Dr. Vivian gifted me her Red Light, and I dove into the research around it, and then Zach and I both tried it for over six months, and I loved it so much that I literally begged her to become a podcast partner so that I could get a discount code for you. I have been gifted so many Red Light's over the years. It is a perk of this job, and this is the only one that I feel like actually helps with those deeper issues. That's because it has something that is called higher irradiance, which is essentially the dose, and a metric that a lot of Red Light companies do not even disclose, and also it uses Red Light, which helps with the surface stuff like your skin and stuff like that, and near and for Red Light, which is going to penetrate deeper into your cells. You just put it over whatever area you want to target, so I'll put it over my lower belly to help with period cramps, and it makes a huge difference. I use it for headaches, so I'll put it over my head, and it makes them basically go away. It's amazing. 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You can unlock 20% off and establish your powerful foundation for sustained wellbeing at peaklife.com/lizmoody. That's p-i-q-e-life.com/lizmoody. My personal favorite ways to balance dopamine are one doing hard things, so like doing a hard crossword or reading a hard book, working out and especially longer aerobic workouts, which is why I've been trying to get into running, and I'm honestly really, really loving it. Let me know in the comments if you want to hear more about my running journey. I happily do an episode about it, but yeah, running super great for dopamine balance. And then also, surf walks, which if you're new here, that's just going for a walk outside for 10 to 15 minutes, first thing in the morning, that's to get sunlight in your eyes. And it's actually really interesting. We know how important our circadian rhythm is for basically all of the cells in our bodies, and also our circadian rhythm influences our dopamine. But there is some research that morning sunlight balances our dopamine via our skin. It's very early research, but it's really interesting because that'd be separate completely from our circadian rhythm. So that's very, very cool. Okay, next up, we have a type two, which is emotionally tired. Emotionally tired is what happens when you have spent your energy suppressing your own feelings. For a lot of people and especially women, this is happening every single day. And you do not even register it as a thing that is causing you energy because our culture literally rewards you for it. Emotional suppression can look like carrying an extra mental load at home or at work and doing it with a smile on your face, being the one to stay late to finish a project or reminding your partner that they need to go to the doctor or that your kid needs to be picked up at day care. From managing your parents on top of all of that, I personally spent a lot of time thinking about my dad's health. And I know that if I don't do it, nobody else will. And I want him to stay alive. So I take it on, but it is still something that is costing me energy. We take it on and we take it on and we take it on. And all of the while it is costing us. It is making us feel exhausted. And also there are a number of studies showing that emotional suppression is taxing your immune system. It is having these real measurable physical effects on our bodies. There was one study of over 4,000 people and it found that women who suppressed their emotions in fights with their partners were four times more likely to die than those who did not. And that was after accounting for all the confounding factors like age and blood pressure and smoking and levels of cholesterol, all of that. Four times more likely to die. Okay, so to recap, input tired is too much stimulation. Emotionally tired is too much being managed or performed or pushed down on the inside. The fix isn't silence or lack of stimulation like input tired needs. Emotionally tired needs release. If you are emotionally tired until you figure out a way to release, you will not feel better, no matter how many vacations you take or how many incredible nights of sleep that you get. Journaling is amazing. Emotionally tired people. Therapy is also really great. And also just letting the feelings come up within yourself and not pushing them away, not saying how you should feel or what the right thing to feel is. The right thing to feel is what you actually feel right now. And also letting other people hold the weight, both emotionally and actually in reality. High emotionally, I mean, are there people that you can really, really open up to? Research shows again and again that we think that being vulnerable with people will make them like us less, but actually it makes them like us so much more. And just saying how you feel out loud goes a really long way in terms of lifting some of that emotional heaviness that you might be carrying. But also if you feel emotionally tired, often it's not just going to be like, let's journal about this. Often you need to have a real structural fix. It's not enough to be like, oh, I got my emotions out. You often need to have conversations with other people about really taking on the load from start to finish, not grocery shopping with a list that you gave them, but planning the dinner and then making the grocery list and then going to the store. You want to actually take some of this off of yourself versus grin and bear it with a smile, which is costing you. I'm also going to flag often people who are emotionally exhausted are perceived by other people as the ones who have it all together. The ones that are never the problem, the ones that are just like live in life with a smile on their face, always down to help out, always down to make everything work. That is a huge red flag for emotional tiredness because it's not real. None of us have it all together, whatever the fuck having it all together actually is. None of us don't have opinions. None of us don't have. preferences. So if that is how you're being perceived, if that is how you want the world to perceive you, it is often because you are holding all of those emotions in. And that my friend is wearing you the fuck out. All right, sorry, I got a little heated there. I just hate when like the sheds and the perceptions and what we are told to make our lives look like gets in the way of us having the lives that we deserve to have it. It riles me up. But type three, physiologically tired. Physiologically tired is the most straightforward type. This is our body being genuinely biologically depleted. You didn't sleep enough. You haven't moved your body. You skipped meals or you ate in a way that crushed your blood sugar or you didn't get enough nutrient sin. Your body's basic operating systems are not getting what they need. And your body is letting you know. I'm not going to spend a ton of time on this one because you probably already know what to do here. We have like a million episodes that will help you with what to do here. You want to actually go to bed at a reasonable time and you want to stay off your phone before bed so that you get high quality sleep in addition to actually being able to sleep at all. You want to get that high quality sleep in your phone. More and more research shows unfortunately does get in the way of that. You want to drink water. You want to eat nutrient dense fiber and protein rich food. You want to move your body. The big mistake that I think most of us are making here actually there's two. I think one is that we're telling ourselves that sleep isn't that important. And honestly, I think if you're listening to this podcast, that's probably not you or two. We are lying to ourselves about either how we are impacting our sleep or how much sleep we are getting. That's what I personally was doing for a very long time. I would say that I was doing everything that I possibly could for my sleep health and I had no idea why I was having trouble sleeping. But I was having my matcha my last match of the day at 4 p.m. I wasn't working out regularly. I was scrolling up until the exact moment that I fell asleep like I fell asleep with my phone in hand scrolling until my eyes literally shut. So I will just use this time to remind you that you are a giant baby and giving yourself a real sleep routine like you are taking care of a baby really works. And also do not neglect the basics for sleep and don't lie to yourself and say you're taking care of your sleep when you are not because that is how you end up physiologically exhausted. Okay, type four. This one took me a while to kind of get my head around and to name, but I think it might be the most important one. Existentially tired is what I'm calling this this thing that a lot of us are feeling right now overwhelmed and scared about the future and wanting to feel connected, but not knowing how feeling lonely feeling like nothing really matters. I felt this pretty strongly recently this sensation like I was going through the motions of life instead of actually living it every day felt like Groundhog's Day where I was waking up and I was doing my work and then I was working out and then I was eating dinner in front of the TV while Zach scrolled on the couch next to me and then I was going to sleep and doing it all again the next day. And then that feeling that like Groundhog's Day sensation was coupled with this like almost a feeling of deep dread about what's happening in the US right now and around the world. So it's like this low grade melancholy combined with this almost perpetual fighter flight mode and that all stues together into existential tiredness like it is just literally tiring to be a person in the world right now. It is taking a toll on us. I'm going to be honest, I spent a long time trying to figure out what could help existential tiredness because like I don't have a ton of political power. I cannot stop a war or stop the wave of AI that's accelerating by the second. But actually there's quite a bit of research here and it's pretty clear on what helps and it's two things. It is agency and it is connection. Agency is the feeling that you have some control that your choices matter that you're not just a passive receiver of whatever the world is throwing at you. 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And also connection is about connection to something bigger, to something greater than you in the world, whether it's community or spirituality or off. Existential tiredness is fundamentally about feeling like you don't matter and like nothing is going to change. Agency fights the nothing is going to change part and connection fights the I don't matter part. One of my favorite solutions for existential tiredness is the novelty rule, which was actually inspired by that Groundhog stay situation that I was just talking about for the novelty rule. I do one novel thing every single week and then I do one larger novel thing every month. I have an entire episode with more than 75 different ideas in it for novelty rule activities. I can link that for you in the show notes, but in short, this forces your brain to lay down new neural pathways and create more memories. If you do the novelty rule, you're going to perceive time as longer, richer and more satisfying. And the act of choosing to do something new, even if it's something really, really tiny, is inherently going to make you feel like you have agency. You are saying today is not going to be the same as yesterday. I'm not talking about quitting your job and moving to Europe. I'm talking about taking a different route on your walk. I'm talking about trying a restaurant that you've never been to. I'm talking about taking a class in something that you know nothing about. And then the connection piece research shows that couples who do novel activities together report significantly higher relationships satisfaction. And I'm going to extrapolate that to friendships too because I've experienced it so many times myself. When you're in a new situation with somebody, you can't be on autopilot. You're actually present. You are problem-solving together. You're laughing about how bad you both are in improv. You're finding your way on a hiking trail that you've never been on. That stimulation, that presence, is what creates real connection versus us just feeling like we're rehashing the same shit over and over again. Like we're meeting up and we're like, okay, like catch me up on your life. Like that is not forging connections. A few other things that I have found to be really helpful with existential tiredness. One is volunteering, which I know almost nobody does, which is crazy because the research on it is insane. It is strongly associated with lower depression and higher well-being. And I think that it's because it gives you agency and connection in one hit. Like you're making an actual difference in other people's lives. You're connecting two other people. And then on top of that, you're contributing to something greater than yourself. For that feeling of being part of something greater than yourself, that all spiritual practices can also be really great. So can nature. So those are all things that are really worth thinking about prioritizing when you feel existential tired. If you are existential tired, this is the best time to get very, very serious about controlling your news intake. Like for the love of God, do not have push notifications for news. Your agency is to check the news on your schedule at a time that you can think critically about it, that you can process it, that you can digest it, and to not keep scrolling long past the point of staying informed. And also I've talked about this before, but read up on history. It is the best way to make sense of the present moment and all Also, it is just like such a counter to the barrage of bad news because it will make you realize how good we have it even when times feel incredibly scary. Any history book, fiction, nonfiction, it will help. Okay, let's recap. Input Tired needs silence and it needs a dopamine rebalance. It needs journaling therapy, like emotional release, but also like real life release. It needs actual systemic change, letting other people carry some of these things that you have taken on. Physiologically tired needs the basics, it needs sleep, it needs water, it needs food, it needs movement, and it needs agency and it needs connection. You're going to want to do new things, you're going to want to do them with other people, you're going to want to let at least one person in your life actually know how you're doing and connect with them. And you're going to want to try to feel some sense of awe or connection to something greater than yourself. And again, the big problem here, if you internalize nothing else from this episode, I want you to internalize that we all spend a lot of time trying to solve one type of tiredness with a different type of rest and then we never feel rested. So I'm very much hoping that this framework will help all of us get a real sense of, like the rejuvenation that we all deserve. I am so curious which type of tired resonated the most with you. So please tell me in the comments, I have a feeling there's going to be some really interesting patterns and I'm just very curious to see what they are. So tell me which or if two types resonated with you, tell me in the comment. Also, reminder, if you want to go deeper, if you want to take the full quiz, go to lizmoody.com/tired, it'll give you a much more detailed breakdown and it'll also give you some more personalized recommendations there too, that's lizmoody.com/tired. If this episode resonated with you, I would so appreciate if you would take five seconds to send a link to one person in your life who might be feeling a little bit tired. It could be your partner, your best friend, your coworker who is always saying how exhausted they are. This might be the thing that helps them figure out why. Also if you could take a really quick second and follow the show, especially if you're new here, maybe somebody sent you the link to this episode following the show signals to the algorithms that people like the content, which makes those algorithms show the content to more people. And it also makes sure that future episodes show up right in your feed so that you never miss out on content that could change your life. As always, you can find all the discount codes that you heard in this episode at lizmoody.com/codes. Find from our brand partners. Let's us continue to make this content for you completely for free. And also, you get to save money on products that I have personally vetted that I trust a lot, supplements, workout apps, mattresses, and more. I love you guys. Go figure out what kind of tired you are and give yourself the right rest. And I will see you on the next episode of the Lizmoody Podcast. Oh, just one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, a psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. I have an obsession. It's the Wonder oven from our place. It sold out eight times. It is that good and it's finally back in stock, so get it before it's gone. The Wonder oven is an air fryer and toaster oven that has made it so much easier to cook. It heats up in 2.5 minutes, 2.5 minutes, which is wild, so you can make cookies when you actually need them, which for me is usually right away. It makes freezer food and roasted veggies and reheated pizza, the perfect texture with crispy outside and fluffy inside. You can roast chicken. You can roast a sweet potato. And it is so chic. I got the butter yellow one. I love leaving it out on my counter because it makes my kitchen look so much cuter. It's like a little accessory for your kitchen. 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There are very few skincare products that I think pretty much everybody should have in their routine and one of them is retinal. It helps with cell turnover and it's just one of the most effective products that exists in terms of making skin look clear, smooth and bright. But a lot of people experience a lot of irritation with different retinals and it absolutely is not helping your skin if you are hurting your barrier layer or drying it out of tonne. And it's also really hard to be consistent with skincare if it's making your face flake off and consistency is the number one thing that gets results. That's why I'm so excited to introduce you guys to Ocea's Dream Night Serum and Night Cream which contains bio retinal derived from algae. It's far less irritating than traditional retinal and you can actually use it day or night which you do not want to do with normal retinal. The serum is clinically shown to improve skin firmness after four weeks and a hundred percent of testers showed visible improvement in crow's feet and fine lines without irritation. And now they have a bio retinal body serum. This is one of my favorite products that I've seen in a while because I can get the benefits of retinal on my whole body without irritating it or making it more sensitive to sun exposure. My body tends to get a lot more sun exposure than my face just because if I'm being honest I'm worse about sunscreen with it. Ocea is a brand that I hugely believe in. I really stand behind them. Their environmental commitments are so impressive. They are incredibly selective and thoughtful about the ingredients that they use. So they're science backed and they're good for our bodies and they're good for the environment and they're good for our skin. And they also just make products that work. Give your skin a rest with clean clinically tested skin care from Ocea. Right now we have a special discount just for our listeners get 10% off your first order sight wide with code Liz Moody at Ocea Malibu.com. That's Liz Moody at Ocea Malibu.com.