Welcome to the August 19th edition of Breaking the Line, the ECNL podcast between ECNL President and CEO Kristen Lavers and ECNL Vice President and Chief of Staff Doug Brackett.
It is gold time again with the start of school as well as the 2026-2027 ECNL season, which will, of course, be spectacular.
Christian and Doug dive deep into the do's and do's for all involved clubs, coaches, players, and even parents, and then offer up tips to stay on track with the do's and do's, centered around the basic premise of, quote, "say what you're going to do and make sure you do what you say," end quote.
It is indeed a very lively and constructive discussion, so please sit back and enjoy as you will learn a lot from this distant break in the line.
Now, before I turn it over to Christian and Doug, let's go around the lead to wrap up the awards from the 2526 season.
Congratulations to Slammer's FC and Crossfire Academy, who won the ECNL Girls and ECNL Boys overall club championship.
Slammer's FC goes back to back with their ECNL Girls overall club championship, and Crossfire Academy achieved a three-peat with their ECNL Boys Award.
Quick go once again is the title sponsor for the ECNL Coach of the Year Awards, and the ECNL Honor 5 coaches this year for their leadership on and off the pitch.
For ECNL Boys, Nate Murphy from the Utah Avalanche, ECNL Girls, Michelle Krisnik with the Michigan Hawks, and Jasmine White, Real Colorado National.
ECNL Regional League Boys, Oscar Cruz from the Houstonians, ECNL Regional League Girls, Jimmy Baron Nuevo, South Florida Football Academy, ECNL Boys, and ECNL Girls also had more than 50 athletes named as Gatorade High School Players of the Year.
Headlighted by Maddie DeMaria, the St. Louis Scott Gallagher player was named the Gatorade Girls Soccer Player of the Year for the second time, and was named the Gatorade Best Female Athlete of the Year at the 2026 S-Bees.
Congratulations to all of the 2526 ECNL Award winners, and good luck to all the clubs competing in the ECNL this upcoming season.
This has been around the league, now we turn it over to Christian Labor and Doug Brackett.
Mr. Brackett, welcome back to break in the line.
We are back, and we are getting ready to start the new season, which is exciting.
School starting. What's going on in the labor's house with the school starting?
We had last week a score. It started last week, very early out here on the West Coast.
Actually, one of the things that really strikes me, you hear about this in coach education earlier, but sometimes, actually, you don't hear about it probably as much as you should, or at least when I did the courses.
But I've noticed that now that I have kids, when you start adding school back into the schedule, it's tough for the kids.
It's a lot of extra stress, energy, whatever, and then they show up at practice at the end of the day.
That first week or two of school has an impact on what happens at soccer training, which I probably did not understand or manage as a earlier younger coach that having kids going through it and seeing what happens at six in the morning and what happens at nine o'clock at night between summer and the start of school is it's a, uh-huh.
Yes, the little bit, yeah, a little bit out of sync with the rhythms of the world when they first start.
My kids, my last two, both in high school now, same building, last school building, they'll be in, which is interesting, but they start on Wednesday.
I mean, so they're not going to go to college, go to get a graduate degree or you put a little lid on them, many buildings on a campus, I was just thinking this one single school house building.
Yes, school house, if you will, but yes, they're into it on Wednesday.
I'm sure to your point, there will be some, some rhythms that will be some fatigue driven behavior.
Yes, the other thing that always hits me at this time of the year is, and this is also a comment on the importance of sports and culture is for me, the most powerful memory.
Some of the most powerful memories of the fall were the start of high school soccer, because when I played high school soccer in the, it was a fall sport.
And so, always early August was when you start preseason, and then you get into your, you know, your fall Friday night lights wasn't, wasn't football. Obviously for us, it was soccer under the lights at high schools.
And so the fall season always brings out or not only just, you know, the college football and NFL season, all the other stuff that starts in the fall.
But the high school soccer preseason time always comes into my head at this time of year. I don't know, I don't know if you have similar memories or not.
Oh, yeah, for sure. This will ring a good bell for you. And I'm sure you're like, I'm not sure I knew that people were still doing that my 16 year old, who's a sophomore ran the Cooper test this morning.
Oh, the 45 AM was that that's how far you can run in 12 minutes. That's correct. Yes, that's right. So I'll tell you a story on that. I remember we did that back in the 90s.
And one of the guys who run around the high school track and one of them on whatever lap two or three, just kept running straight out of the fence and didn't come back.
Were you a good runner or were you more like I play soccer and I run because I have to to play. And in high school, I hated running. The concept of running for running sake was was complete heresy.
I then got my fitness packet at the University of Wisconsin. And I remember like a week before preseason. I did I did a run. And I remember coming home so I didn't know I had muscles in that part of my body, you know, because it's so sore.
But then in college, you know, I learned I learned the importance of being super fit and hit my peak fitness at that point, which I've looked back on fondly and wish I could be anywhere close to that.
I'm not just sure. I always liked running. I know it sounds wild, but so I always that part of it didn't bother me that much.
So, but I did I did feel for him this morning when I woke him up at 7 a.m. to go to go run the Cooper test.
But yes, we are in fall sports here. My youngest is a golfer on the on high school team. And then my my sophomore is on the soccer team. So they've already played one regular season game actually their first game was last Friday.
I was listening to the Nike run club guy coach Bennett at a presentation a couple of weeks ago and you know he made a comment of you know running wants you.
Running wants you to come and have fun. And he said most people who say they hate running are running too fast. And that comment hit me because I'm really I still don't like running.
But I do run occasionally mostly out of the fear that if I stop running I'll never run again and you know that'll just that's not a good outcome.
But when he when he said when he made that comment about most people don't like running are running too fast I was like that actually it might be the first productive comment somebody's ever made that I heard about running.
And I slowed down a little bit and I hated it less actually when I ran a little slower.
All right. Yeah. A lot of the that 80 20 rule has come into a lot of the forefront now where the 80% is really kind of almost painfully slow supposed to be painfully slow.
And the 20% is where you put it in so it's interesting. But yes at our advanced age Christian.
Well, we don't know when you are now in the club. You are true although we don't coach a sport that involves long long distance running at the same speed.
So that 80 20 rules not going to help me in my coaching education and may help me in my just fight against obesity.
But not not in not in coach education fair enough.
So since we said we're starting this season we wanted to have a little conversation about let's call it do's and don'ts.
New year do's and don't start of the year do's and don'ts club parent coach everybody involved.
Well, it's yeah everybody's got to be involved right. You can't have one person on a rules of do's and don'ts and not other people that's not fair so.
Just said your first do's and don't that's right do be fair to everyone there we go don't be unfair to everyone I guess is that's it so let's start by I'm just going to say rapid fire.
I'm the yeah I'm the moderator if you will let's start with club let's go club slash coach do's do's.
You are coaching a team and a club do's yeah we've actually been had been having some conversations because now is also around the time of the year that a lot of clubs get their coaches together again for some type of alignment.
You know whether it is administrative or whether there's some type of coaching workshop those things tend to be top of mind and happening at the at the beginning of the season as people are kicking off and they've got the fresh.
Look out it makes you say hey what what are the things that we used to do and we don't do anymore what are the things that we need to do maybe for the first time to create a really good environment and.
So I would say a couple one couple of do's one do for sure as I.
I think clubs need to have some type of,
I don't wanna make it as grandiose
as a mission statement or a vision statement
because I think those can get,
and I think they're really important, by the way.
But I think some sort of just reminder,
maybe whether you call it North Star,
or just like a foundation.
- Something that anchors you.
- What are we doing here as coaches, right?
What is important here in this club
and also within that, 'cause it can be different,
what is important with the teams
or the ages that you are working at?
And it, you know, like I said,
it can be very different if you use 17 EC&L.
Team versus the U9 fifth or sixth team.
But I think having some understanding of
what are the baseline expectations
that the club has for the coaches
and how does that translate into a player journey
over the course of the year
so that people kinda have something to go back to.
I think those things are most helpful
in stressful moments, right?
Whatever that stressful moment for you is as a coach,
whether it's an issue about playing time
or whether it's a decision about
how important is this particular game
or whether you feel you're being attacked by somebody.
Like at that point, having a ability to draw back
on what am I here for?
What is the club really expecting
the player experience and my role in it to be?
I think it can be really helpful.
So I put that on a club level.
- Do you?
- Alignment.
- Let me ask you this on that
'cause I was thinking a lot about this
'cause I knew you were gonna say this
'cause I know that we, and you particularly worked hard
to come up with a really accurate
and thoughtful mission for our BC&L.
- Multiple variations of that over time.
It's only for you and they got a right.
- We've had iterations and we've landed
on what I think is really good
and I think about it all the time.
And that is to provide the best youth sports experience
in the world.
And so everything we do,
it has to be in that way, grounded in that way.
Do you think, given the number of coaches,
let's say you're a club at my club or whatever
that there are and the different levels of experience
those coaches have or don't have?
Do you think it is possible to get everybody thinking
that way?
- Yeah, as a base-based level,
that's a power of a really good vision statement, right?
Is it, you don't argue with it.
You know, our vision and the league
to provide the best youth sports experience in the world.
First of all, why is that a good vision statement?
We all can say it, almost verbatim.
- Yeah.
- That was some of the problems we had in the past, right?
Is it was too verbose, as they would say?
Or it was too wordy.
And it was not easy to remember.
If it's not easy to remember, then it fails.
Because when you say, "Hey, what's the vision?"
You're gonna say, "I don't know."
Then, well, that's the point.
The other part of it is it has to be big enough
that it's almost a, like, well, of course.
You know, of course we would do that.
Now, how that is carried to life or brought to life
within the eight-year-old program
or the 12-year-old program or the 18-year-old
or the first team versus the last team in an age, whatever.
Maybe very, very different, but I think, you know,
we're in youth sports, right?
So in some ways, I would say one of the things
that's gotta be always front and center
is, are we providing an experience
that has a positive impact on kids, on families, on whatever?
And you can probably come up with a variety of different ways
of saying that could be nuance to your club or that.
But I think if you talk from that really, really big picture level,
yes, is it possible that you're gonna have alignment
that every coach has the same philosophy
and the same processes for how they plan training
and exercise training and how they interact with players?
No, I actually don't even think you would want that, right?
I don't know what your thoughts are.
I think having variety and having people be true to themselves
within a bigger context is what you're looking for.
So let's drill down on that on the dues for a coach,
how important is it for a coach
to have their own coaching philosophy?
Really important.
I mean, I was having this conversation
with some people today that, at the end of the day,
the impact on players, the club sets a stage, right?
The club provides guardrails.
The club can provide resources, right?
The club can make things a little bit easier,
a little bit harder depending on how you look at it.
But ultimately, it is the coach that has the impact on players.
The guy who's there, the girl who's there every day,
who's that training in games,
who is the one talking, interacting,
getting to know the kid and the family.
And so I think as a coach, you need to have some core beliefs
of how you want to be and how you want to engage
in the type of environment you want to create.
And I think some of that might be, again,
general and big picture, regardless of the type of player
that you're interacting with.
And then some of it may be very different
depending on the age and level of the player that you are.
Well, we were talking about the other day
with some coaches is there needs to be a specific narrative
for every player in the club.
And that narrative is about how that coach interacts
with that player to meet them where they are
and then move them in the direction they want to go,
help move them in that direction.
And that can be very, very different.
Not only just on things like age and level,
but on based on what might be going on in that kid's life,
based on what's important to that kid
to be doing in addition to soccer,
based on times of the year where different things
may come up, based on challenges that are unique
that that player faces, whether they're personal,
family, economic, social.
So we were talking a lot about that.
And the reason I sort of dive off into that area
is because ultimately the only way you can have an narrative,
an individual narrative for every player
is if you have a coach who is really engaged specifically
with that player, that team, that group of families,
and that coach understanding what their role is
and what type of environment they want to create there.
- So that's our first two.
Our first two dues are clubs need to have a unified mission,
of what they're trying to accomplish.
And then a coach needs to have kind of a defined philosophy
on how they are going to be.
- Yeah, and listen, I mean, and tell me
where you expand or change on this,
but I'm also more and more in the like,
let's not talk about things that we know aren't going to happen.
And what I mean by that is I think sometimes coaches
and clubs also, we, and I know I've certainly been there,
you get wound up on things that you talk about
that you say are very important,
but they're really, really difficult to do,
and because of that, they don't really happen very much.
So for example, we were talking about style of play,
right, and having a club style of play
and what are the dues and don'ts or goods and bads on that.
It occurred to me, first of all, almost everybody,
if you said what's your style of play,
they're going to talk about some dominance of the ball, right?
Oh, we want to play a pretty soccer, attractive soccer,
decision making soccer, whatever.
Nobody says, nobody says whack it and win.
Okay, but they're always going to say that.
But you know, and that sounds really good.
Oh, great, you know, but how do you put,
first of all, it's not possible for everybody, not possible at all.
If it's not possible because maybe you're,
maybe you're the small club surrounded at a level of competition
and the clubs that you play on a regular basis
are significantly better than you are.
Well, you're not going to dominate the ball.
Let me just stop you because you're a layer
or even deeper than I would say.
It's not possible because most of the coaches
that are at these youth clubs are part time.
They have another job or whatever.
And coaching development at the youth club level
is not that prescribed.
I mean, that to the unified in order for you
to implement something like that.
Correct, and so, and the reason I say I brought up this
is because if you can't accurately identify
what is realistic and what is likely to happen or not happen,
then you can't actually effectively intervene in the environment.
And what I mean by, so use your point there,
is if you're expecting your part time coaching staff
who have jobs during the day and families presumably,
if you're expecting them to have an
inordinately elaborate training design plan
and to be meticulously following whatever methodology
that you espouse, which that's another one
I've put a immediate asterisk on,
that people talk more about than what they probably have.
But if you're expecting somebody who's running from work
to practice, who's got families to be sending you
his or her sessions for the week with graphics of the layout
and the coaching points that they're going to bring out every day.
And you say, this is what we do in our club.
I'm going to call.
bullshit. Yeah, or trying to execute exercises and/or training sessions that you provide them.
Correct. That may not be comfortable with, right?
Correct. And so let's use, and by the way, we're not saying that that wouldn't be best practice.
Okay. That's not reality. Yeah, best practice. It's just like it's not reality for some teams to
keep the ball in play pretty. Correct. So we're starting with, you know, let's identify reality
and fantasy and say that, okay, best practice would be all the coaches meeting in the morning,
talking about where their team is at, what happened in the last couple days,
brainstorming session design, sharing it with each other, and then going out later that day
and executing on the sessions that they talked about, shared about exchange with each other,
and then the next day they reflect on those, talk about what worked, and then do the same thing
again. That's best practice. That might happen in pro academies. I mean, it does happen in pro academies,
but it's not happening with part-time coaches. Okay. And in a lot of places, it's not happening
with full-time coaches considering all the other stuff that they have saddled onto the coaching.
But if that's best practice, well, let's not impose that on part-time people who can't do it.
And if we're pretending to do it, then we're not actually accomplishing anything. And to me,
it's more than, okay, if this is the reality and the constraints, everybody's into constraints,
space coaching. If these are the constraints, my coaches are working under, how do I do something
that I really feel confident will move the needle for them? Right? So I'm not going to expect them to
send me their elaborate training sessions every day, every week. But maybe I'm going to give them
some tools that say, hey, operate within these boundaries. Okay. And then I can monitor that a little
bit. And then I can tighten the boundaries here and there over time as I see them. But I give them
something that says, these are really big do's and don'ts. And I'm not talking about big picture,
you know, club operations or safety issues. I'm saying these are do's and don'ts and how we want
you to run your teams and how you want to do design sessions. Beyond that, it's up to you.
And then as I maybe watch you over time, I can help you a little bit more. But if I'm still in the
world, if I expect them to send an email to me every day showing me their session, well, first of
all, even if they do that, unless I plan on responding and reviewing and giving feedback,
then what's the point of sending the session email? Right? And a lot of times, I think people forget
that. It's like, do all this stuff. And then when people don't get feedback, if you keep submitting
something and never get feedback, what do you do eventually? Stop. Yeah. Right. And now it's like,
you don't mean what you say. I don't do what you say. But we've got best practices and
just silliness. So all right. So, so let's try to stay on track on this. So now I'm going to
say what, you know, because you talk about that unified mission, coaching philosophy,
which can be, which can be informal. It doesn't have to be the most perfect thing. But at least spend
some time thinking about that and talking about that. Correct. Correct. And then, you know, again,
I think you kind of touched on this, but it's important for the club to share with their coaches,
kind of what their general beliefs are. Yeah. So that they can function in those guidelines.
So, so I'm going to say the next do for a club is, and this I think just doesn't happen enough,
is to communicate those things to the parents. Yeah. I say, I always say this, and I probably
said this on this podcast before there's three parts of this, of what, you know, the players,
there are three players in this development. The player in the coach, the parent, the player in the
coach, right? And to ignore the fact that the parent is part of that is, well, let's think about
that too, Doug, because you're right. And when you're early on as a coach, you're probably very,
very, you know, the thing you hear more than anything is have a preseason meeting, right? And
then as you get on and you get into the, the role of things, I think sometimes people forget to do
that. But let's, let's unpack that a little bit, because that used to be harder to do.
Okay. You had to reserve a conference room, cost money, then you had to get people to get in their
car and go somewhere in addition to the training they normally go to, you have to get mom or dad or
both to add that into their schedule. Obviously in person, like anything is probably the most impactful.
But there was real challenges with that. So if you can't do that, then you have, well, now you have
unbelievable technology with Zoom and whatever other one you want to use, where you can
actually reach these people in their car at the dinner table, as they're sitting in their backyard,
there's no excuse not to do it. And when we talk about sharing that with parents, I remember going
to the directors of coaching course that you know soccer coaches used to do. Okay. And I went to
that course once and then I taught some of those courses and I really, really enjoyed it. I thought
it was a really good course. And one of the things that was said in that course, and I think it
was Andrew Donnery who made this comment, is if you're going, if you're going to present to parents
in who are who are a lot of them are professionals, and you're going to say, here's what we do here.
Here's what my expectations are. Here's what your expectations can be. Be aware of the context within
how you do that. Because if you do that on the side of the field, 10 minutes after practice,
where you're sweaty and hot, the parents are swept slap in mosquitoes who are buzzing around,
the kids are running around on the field. And you're trying to say, this is a really professional
organization and this is how you should, you know, what you should expect. It's a really jarring
disconnect. You know, the perfect scenario is in person, in a ballroom with a presentation and
it's everybody says, wow, there's a lot of thought into this is very professional. Well,
that's hard for the reasons we went to. But now, zoom in things like that give you the perfect
balance because you can schedule it at night when you can be in front of a computer and look not
exhausted, where you can put together a presentation that is professional and you don't have to bother
the parents with additional time demands on their schedule. And it's a really, really smart thing to
do. And yet, I wonder how many people are still having meetings by the side of the field with
mosquitoes slapping and then saying, well, this is a really professional organization.
Or worse, saying, I'm the coach, I don't need to answer your questions. Yep. This is what
I was that is the worst. Yeah, that is the word. And we've all probably been there at one point
in our life. You don't, yes, but it's not good. Don't. Compensation is meeting the truth head on.
I mean, it's you're going to have that that, I mean, that's coaching. I mean, you're confronting
players all the time or whatever. So you have to be able to deal with that. I would just go, again,
the one other part to what you're saying is, yes, it's important to stand in front of these people
who you are selling, what you're offering. And tell them what you're going to do and what you
believe in how we how we're going to do it. And then I think beyond that, I think it's important
to check in from time to time and say, here's just a review. This is what we talked about at the
beginning of the season. Here's where I think we are. And this is what I'm seeing. And just it's
a way to kind of hold their hand through the process. Yeah, I used to say, I used to say that
compared to the formal communication networks and the informal communication networks. And what
I meant by that is a formal communication network within a club is from the director to the coaches.
And the coaches to other coaches, when they're, you know, meeting and talking about what we do,
how we do it, whatever. Those are very formal. Then there's a formal communication from the coach
to the parent. Okay, whether that's in the form of that preseason meeting or whether that to your
point is the periodic updates and information of, hey, this is what we're doing. This is what I see.
This is what I hope you're looking for. This is what you can reinforce, you know, which is really,
I think, an underappreciated asset of what can you reinforce as a parent instead of guessing.
But if you do a really good job in those formal communication networks, from DLC to coach,
coach to coach and coach team, what you, I think, end up seeing a lot is that the informal network
starts to mirror the messaging. Because if the parents, all the teams are hearing similar things,
because the coaches are doing a really good job of outlining, this is how we do it here.
And if they even just look it down to a base level in a team,
if the coach is doing a really good job of communicating effectively with the parents as a group,
then the odds of the parents apparent communication being aligned with that are infinitely higher.
Oh yeah. And if you don't, if you don't do a good job in the formal networks,
the parent to parent informal network or the parent to child, and I say informal because you're not
in charge of the project.
of that communication as a coach? How would parents say when you're not around? What parents say to
their kid when you're not around? If you don't do a good job in the formal, then the informal's all
over the place, and that's where you start to see problems. Agreed. I don't know what they're
trying to do here. Do you know what they're trying to do here? Right. So communication is huge.
It's the number one skill of a coach. Yes. Making people understand, first, having some grounding
ideas in your own world, whether it be club wise or you personally, and then being able to
communicate and help people understand what you're about to do and how you're about to do it.
It's super important. What else? Anything else come to mind on the dues front?
I think if we zoom back out, I would say, say what you're going to do and then make sure you do what
you say. Yes. That probably wraps up a lot of those things. If you say things that are unrealistic,
you're not going to do it. Yes, right. Make the things you say you're going to do realistic.
Correct. That's the old under promise and over dilemma. If you promise the world, you're already
setting yourself up for just identify what's important, commit to doing what's important, tell them what
is important and what you're going to do and go do it. Yes. And then a lot of things are
trending in a good direction. Agreed. Okay. A lot of the doubts are probably the opposite of what
we just said, but any doubts that come to mind that we didn't already address by saying, do this?
I don't know. I'm sure I'm going to forget some big mistakes somebody's made, but we just said
communication is the number one skill of a coach. I think if anyone argued with that, it would be
about the number one communication being listening or observing. Right. And so if we take that
perspective, and I think it was maybe a different way of saying what you do, what you're saying is
you need to also be able to listen and hear from the players in the session, obviously, in what
their experience is like, but also listen and hear to what the parents are saying. Right. Whether
that's to you or about you or it passed along, I think you have to be able to hear that so you can
assess whether an intervention is required. And when I say intervention, I mean a step into that
to fix it or to correct it. So I would say one, the biggest don't I would say is don't put yourself
in an echo chamber or in a vacuum where you're then not able to hear and see some of the feedback
that people may give you as players, parents, or whatever when they're in your environment,
because some of that's going to be verbal and some of that might not be verbal. Yeah, that's true.
The one other thing I want to add to this because I think this is really important. It's really
important to have a respectful and it's good to have a friendly environment. Right. It's good
if it's if it's approachable, if it's friendly, that I think is really important. What is also
very, very important is that there is a line between you as the coach and the parents. Yeah,
a professional line, a professional line, because when you have personal relationships,
a friendships, whatever, you are putting yourself in a really bad spot and it almost never turns out well.
Well, I'd clarify that and say when you mix the personal and the professional is when it becomes
problematic. Right. When you when you believe that the parents of the players you are coaching
are going to be as much your friend as they are the parent of an athlete. That is that confusing
that line is a big mistake. Yes. Right. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't be to your point,
approachable, respectful, friendly, friendly, and open to discussion. Right. Because it's one of
these things like you can always ignore. You know, that's your ultimate provocative. If somebody
suggests what they would like you to do or what they thought you did wrong, you can always disagree
and ignore. My saying for that is, thanks for your input. Yeah. And listen. But if you're if you're
not open to input, number one, you're not going to be able to correct things when they're small,
and then they tend to hit you harder when they're big. But you also then create other unintentional
issues of being a loop and observe and somebody that nobody understands what you're doing,
why you're doing it, and how to communicate with you. The flip of that on the other end is, you
know, pretending that, you know, everybody's drinking buddies from college, you know, and that one
minute, there's going to be a tough decision about a kid's starting or playing or making a team
or not making a team in the next minute. Everybody should be cheersing. Yes. And saying. We're allowing
someone to monopolize your time. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Keeping that line and that space, I think,
is important from a from that professional perspective. And you see that, you know, a lot,
particularly with young coaches, where they can't manage that. And it doesn't that problem.
That problem usually occurs when and this is ironic. The seeds of of problem are created in times
of sunshine. Okay. When everything is going well at the beginning of the year, or, you know,
whenever it's going well, and everybody kind of relaxes and says, oh, this is great. Everybody's
on the same page and we're all friends and all funds and whistles and rainbows. That's when
you tend to those lines get blurred. And then when the inevitable rainy period occurs,
and a kid has tough moment, or the team goes through a bump, then some of that,
informality or personalization that happened in the in the in the front end,
becomes a problem later on. You know, because everybody everybody tends to be, I think,
I think this is a fairly safe generalization. But when when things are going a little bit more
difficult, everybody tends to have their quote unquote professional, you know, back up a little
bit like the 48 hour rule. What's the 48 hour rule? Don't talk about playing time within 48 hours
of the game, right? Why? Because that tends to be when things are negative. So everybody's got this
professional. Yeah, there's a motion. Yeah. Yeah. The 48 hour rule doesn't apply when they win a
trophy and everybody's high-fiving and super happy and every kid scored and played every minute.
You know what I mean? Yes. If you were to give, this is going to put you right on the spot here,
you're good on your feet. So we're going to find out. If you were talking to me,
I am getting into the world of youth sports as a parent. Christian, I'm taking my kid on this journey.
What are five things you would tell? Five. I'm going five. Five things you would tell me.
And we'll let's call this quote elite youth sports because just, you know, make it like that. Five
five things. I wrote my five down ahead of time. So you got you got put in a bad spot here.
All right, going through this transition of being the person to tell parents and what expectations
there are from the direct from the perspective of a coach and a director to now being on the
other end of that as well and having kids at very young ages, but still kids going into that and
being in other people's environments now and, you know, feeling all the feels that you get as a
parent, you know, of kids on on game Bay practice, whatever, as their ups and downs go. So I guess
number one, as I say that, is there will be ups and downs. So buckle in and try and minimize
the height and depth of the ups and downs. All right. And I think what I what I what I mean by
that is I think the people who get over the top excited when things are going great are the people
who the whole world implodes on when anything goes wrong. And so part of the role of being the
adult parent in the room is your kids going to be on a ride, no matter how good the environment,
there's going to be times that are hard for them. And your job is to smooth that ride out as much
as you can. You don't want it to be unemotional because I think emotion is a critical part of
sport. I think it's what the part of sport that makes it fun. But you want to manage the variance
from from good to this was tough. Yeah. And they're watching. So when you
Oh yeah. As parents react in that way. It's like a kid when they fall down and they're they're
not hurt, but it was kind of a scary fall. And they're looking at you like whether they should
start crying or not? Yeah, and you look and say okay.
up and then they get up or you say oh my god are you okay and then they just burst into tears right
so I would say that that might be number one I might change my opinion on order as we go through
this but I think that that would be number one is figure out how to smooth the process.
Number two I think would be it's long term and that's probably correlated with number one
but yeah whatever the up in the down is today is not going to matter as much in a week a month
in a year and that the goal here long term needs to be clear and for most for most people I think it's
you know you want your kid to love sport stay in sport be inspired by sport work hard to do all the
things that sport demands like be fit eat healthy learn to compete be a good teammate all that sort
of stuff even when you have outcome goals right or your kids have outcome goals if they want to play
at this level or that level it's a it is a long term process I don't like that phrase it's a grind
right yeah right it's fun it's fun it's fun it's fun people I this is a tangent but when people
say or used to say oh college soccer man it's a job it's a job I'm like what do you mean it's a
job hey so you get to do something you'd love to do yeah I think that yes but it's not a job
I think that framing and that term that phraseology is is not helpful right because it frames it in a
unpleasant hard you know I'm just gutting it out and again there's there's parts of that in
every part of our life but that that's not why kids don't sign up for things for the grind they
sign up because they love it and they're inspired and and so I think reminding yourself and this
is probably especially true in those moments of short-term difficulty adversity whatever it may be
it is a very long process and the goal at the end is is the same for almost everybody
and to take a breath and trust that time time is a really powerful thing
so whether the adversity is you know your kids physical development puts them in a tough spot
because they're the littlest or they're the youngest I mean we're dealing with that right now
right with the age change you have kids that are born in in you know my son went from being
the youngest player on his team to being the oldest player on his team and my my son went the opposite
he went from being right in the middle he's born in late June to being the absolute youngest and so
you know so I use that as a that's an adversity that's nobody's fault you know it happens and by
the way it doesn't just happen when there's age group change cutoffs it happens just based on
hormones and when bodies decide to grow um but when that happens there there will be tough
moments where hey maybe your kid is small and not powerful at all and that has an impact on
the performance and that has an impact on their playing time and that has an impact in so many
different ways and clubs can handle it well or not well but that's going to go away eventually
right so even in that moment saying okay this is a this is a moment of time yeah and I have to
remind myself that it's a moment in time so that I don't go down this sort of you know
whirlpool to the bottom of oh my gosh this is happening and that causes that that that that and
where this as uh this the parade of horribles as I used to say so I would say number two is have
I have long-term perspective how am I doing so far well I I had marathon not a sprint online
good so you got time you got time to be witty with your yeah that's true that's true that's true okay
number three number three and I may I may struggle on this one but if you have concerns or if you
have worries or questions just be honest and ask if you ever have to say I'm not that parent
than you are if you if you have to try and figure out a way to say your concern that doesn't really
identify your concern you're already you're already off in the wilderness like I think almost
every coach tries to do a good job every coach makes mistakes yeah if you have a concern by the way
every parent every parent makes mistakes correct as a parent or as at their job yeah and and
and so this this maybe maybe better put this is give some grace and and and expect some grace
because you're gonna make a mistake the coach is gonna make a mistake the best way to deal with
those things is just one if it's a big enough deal then talk about it but talk about it professionally
and talk about it you know unemotionally and but there's a lot of things that you might think
are a mistake in the short term or in the moment that upon further reflection even if it is a mistake
it's really not that big of a deal and maybe you just let it go because nobody does well with
somebody following them around we talk about this with social media and kids right like there's
cameras everywhere if you follow somebody around all day with a camera you're gonna find that
they do some stupid stuff you know or they make stupid mistakes right at the end of the day nobody's
gonna do well if every time there's a mistake you feel the need to bring it up or every time that
you have the the first inkling of a potential issue you say well now I've got to step in and have
a conversation so I'd say have have a little bit of grace expect a little bit of grace as well
because you know even when you're talking about when clubs talk say hey don't coach from the
sideline okay the first time somebody's yell something from the sidelines probably unnecessary for
the club to crack down and the coach to you know get all over that parent you know give them a little
grace they got heated in a moment they got excited in a moment you know now if it's happening every
couple of minutes well that's a different scenario so you know and that's a really simple you know
silly example of it but I guess that given given get some grace get some grace okay you got three
or you know I could wax poetic and philosophical here my wife would probably tell me to enjoy
the experience because it's gonna go fast and that is on my list yeah and and I say that as I'm
you know now a couple years in even to coaching one of my sons and enjoying it more than I did
but also knowing there's a there's a time window for that that at some day at some point closes and
I think on a lot of these things I'm reminded of that I don't I don't know the verse but you know
the it's the the Bible versus this is the this is the day the Lord has made and I remember reading
once where it said you know the experiences of this day are here for you to learn something
and if you don't learn it you might just keep repeating this day or ever and over so maybe
take a step back this is something I have to tell myself by the way it's like self-help session here
maybe take a step back and just reflect and say what can I take from this experience you know and
I think most of the time this should be really positive yeah sometimes it's it's harder
but I think in this as well as recognizing that you know I think I might have said this
I saw a cartoon once that said you know one day everybody went out to play with their friends
for the last time and nobody knew it and that I don't know why that hit me hard when not when
I saw that because we're always so busy thinking about what's next and how we plan the next thing
and we're complaining or or or overly critical of what's happening now and then one day you don't
have to worry about the next thing because it's over and then you look back and say well wait a
minute did I even enjoy this rock and if the answer is no oh then that's a really sad thing
so I think that that would be the other part of it is recognize that in the end
every player stops playing at some point even if they make it to the highest level they stop
playing at some point most don't make it to the highest level most don't make it even to the top
of whatever level they're shooting for so enjoy that because it is really and you know this
with your own kids watching your kids play is fun I was watching my my middle son the other day
and he's in plan in a game and he's he sort of checks in and out you know with his attention
because he's he's eight and one of his teammates is running to goal and looks like he's going to score
and my you know he runs by my son and as he gets closer to the goal I just see my son smile he
like he just lights up with a smile watching his teammate thinking he's going to score this is
really cool not thinking how should I move to help him not thinking maybe I should run for a rebound
not thinking anything except this is really cool and I just sat there and it hit me because
I'm like that that is a young kid who just loves standing right in the field where he is right now
in the middle of this where he's contributing nothing in this moment but he is loving it
You know, and he's adding to the joy of it. He's adding to that something. Yeah, but it's just that hit me as a moment of man
We got to enjoy these things because that
That purity I mean how often do people talk about the jadedness of the teenage athlete?
You know somewhere they go from celebrating every goal like it's a World Cup final and every trophy
Like it's the greatest thing ever and in their mind every goal they scored was like the greatest goal scored in the history of the game
To you know not feeling that
Yeah, I don't know if they don't feel it. I just don't know if
It's not cool to solve it. It allows it to be cool to keep doing it. There are a lot more self-conscious
Yeah, yeah, you know when you're 10 you you're not you have no self-awareness, right?
Yeah, you're saying all right. You got you got a fifth. I'm gonna take the fifth and I'm gonna
Because I think those four actually as I feel pretty good about those four
I'm gonna take the fifth and I'm gonna kind of tie it to a a a thing for coaches to be aware of
And a thing for parents maybe to look for and that is
informational content of the coach and
What I mean by that and you know, there's this famous study from John Wooden back in the 70s
where they they tracked tracked him at a bunch of practices
About what when he talked when he intervened in the environment with the players
What was it was it praise?
Was it scolding was it informational?
You know was it motivational whatever it may be and and basically that the the finding in that study and
It's been replicated with other other coaches and other sports
But the finding was 75% of the things came out of his mouth had an informational component
That was actionable
Do it this way right don't don't do it that way
Hey, I told you do it this way
Or hey, that's exactly the way I you know told you to do it good job or
You did it this way that's not the way to do it do it this way and that I mean as I say that over it sounds overly simplistic
But if you want to evaluate a coach and get a sense of
What the environment is like from a learning perspective. I think
informational content and when you hear the coach speak
How much is emotion versus how much is actionable information?
Okay, that is not joy sticking
You know, that's not telling the kid every decision to make
Um, it is giving them information that they can process and then choose to apply
And I would say if you're evaluating a coach and an evaluating an environment
far more than you know win loss records
Of the coach or the team or whatever would be
Is most of what the coach said informational and actionable so that the kids can can learn from it and and get better
Yeah, all right. That's a good five. I had a couple different ones. I
Want to mine was make sure you're aligned philosophically
agree with that because you've you've always been strong on that you've you've heard you say that in a lot of different circumstances
Yes, even as a coach in the athletic department or as an assistant coach with the head coach
Yes, but yes, I agree if you come in and you philosophically want something very different than what the coach of the club does
It didn't go well. It isn't gonna go well. I would say
Remember that it's the players journey not your journey
And support your kids motivation to do what they're doing not your motivation for them to do it
right because it should be about their passion
Although and I almost think like we're
parents as parents were put on this kind of earth
To our kids to just help them navigate not to navigate for them
but to
Help them navigate right and say hey, I've made that turn before and this was the outcome
And then they're going to determine whether they make that turn or not so
Remember it's your kids journey
um, and then the other ones I was I was were similar to yours. So we're close pretty close
Okay, here's another one
Do you have some
Parent to player. So this is Christian labors the parent to the player. Do you have some rules around
What sports
So like with my kids. Yeah, so like one of my rules is a be a great teammate
Our house kind of rules are be nice be helpful be grateful
Right, so yeah, so something like that
My kids are young right so I've got nine
Actually, I think I said the other my middle kid was eight. He's not he's seven
97 and six. I can't keep track
So our our sort of guidelines. I guess I would say or our our messages to them are probably
oriented around some things that hopefully we're not having to
pound down also at age 16 um
But we talk a lot about
Um, you thank your coach
Yeah, after every practice after every game. Go say thank you to coach. Yep. We talk about the importance of looking in the eyes
Okay, um, we want that we want them to have the confidence um or at least the bravery
To go to an adult and look in the eyes and say something um
We talked to them about uh being being brave
And trying things and working hard because I think in some ways when you're a young kid
It's bravery to even work hard
Sometimes when when you're different and by making it correct correct correct
Um, we talk a lot. I use the word respect
Because I think they understand it. I think at least the school they go to does a good job of talking about that as a concept
So we talk about respecting yourself in terms of things like body language
Um, and and that can be how you react when a coach says hey come over here
Are you walking and moping or are you running over and looking them in the eyes
That type of thing we talk about respect for the coach and the team
Uh, in the sense of listening to the coach
Of when the coach tells you to do something you need to show respect and you need to do it because it's disrespectful
To not listen to the coach and it's disrespectful to the team if you're the one
Keeping other people
We talk behind closed doors man my wife about you know
Some of the challenges to competitive people have when you watch your young kids play um
You know and and talking um as well about reminding ourselves of the things we kind of just talked about
On here because if if our you know if our son has a
A day where they he does just doesn't
Doesn't look like soccer is his thing today. Yep. You know, it's gonna happen
It which is gonna happen and and what you know, that's where I you know, I go back to you know
Dress on both sides, but also just remind myself for the long term and at the end of the day
I do think that's one of the hardest things as a parent is you do get wrapped up in today
And you get wrapped up in this moment right now because it's what's right in front of you
And you so desperately want your kid to do well and have fun
It's like that old cartoon of the of the of the I think the little girl who squeezes her little dog and pets it and loves it and squeezes and squeezes it and squeezes it and the dogs like choking to death
Because it's being squeezed and hugged. Yeah, if you say those are the rules around our house
If I had to say any anything else
The only other two things we talk about and it's probably taught it's looped into the brave thing is you need to communicate
So be somebody who talks talks to your team talks to your coach. You need to communicate and then you know
We just want to set a baseline of hey when you show up work
Work and have fun. I always put those two together work hard have fun work hard have
Well, I think fun is as around
Like as you get older the things that you work the hardest for bringing the most
And you know you and I have talked about this
Before is the difference between having fun and being happy
Yeah, right and and how
You know something that's wrapped up in hard work and something that you put a lot into
Is something that makes you happy?
Yeah, and and that's why that's why I always say them together because if you just say to a kid work hard
I'm like, well, that's not really the right message because they're doing this for fun and you're gonna have fun if I just say go have fun
Me personally and others may disagree with this
You know when our kids play a sport. I want them to go work hard at the sport. You know, just like when they go to school
You know, we want them to have fun, but we also want them to work hard and learn right? So I think that that's our
That's our
Way of sort of saying what you're you're you're explaining there of like you find joy by working hard and having fun and putting together
Yeah
Okay, now I'm gonna give you some quick hitters as we kind of wrap here before the the bracket brain cluster
and they are
Your kid has one of those days where it's soccer is not really their thing that day
was the car ride
Like I think the and I've seen this now on the other end or felt this in a way that I know because the coach answer is obvious
Right, yeah, and we gave you and I gave the coach answer all the time
just, you know, good job. I love to watch you play, right? That was always that was always the
resonated with me when I said it as a coach, when I asked that question. But now as a parent,
having straight over that line a few times and tried to make a comment or a coaching point,
forget whether I forget a motion or anything like that. Just talk just I'd love to watch you play.
Love to watch you play. Yeah, they're young and I don't want them at this age talking about where
they want to go in the sport. I mean, every now and then, you know, I hear you're one of my
sons talking about which pro team he would play for. And I think that's hilariously awesome,
but they do that because it's just fun. But at this age, I would just say, hey, we'd love to watch
you play. That was awesome. Yeah, you're at a game. Your kid doesn't play a lot. How do you handle that?
You know, I think that's a really good question because, no, if you're in young teams,
you know, sometimes coaches rotate the line up a lot. Like I try to do that. I don't like to have
the concept they're nine of these guys start and these guys don't. Yeah, yeah. Some kids,
you know, start more than other kids, but everybody should have an experience in both.
I think sometimes when a kid doesn't play as much as you would want in a game, it tends to work
itself out the other way in the next game, right? So whether the next game is a tournament and it's
later that day or whether it's, you know, two days later or a week later, I would say if it happens
multiple times in a row, it might be a time to ask a question and just say, Hey, is there something
that is going on? Is my is my kid struggling or, you know, I notice they're not playing as much.
But I would, you have a, you have a young kid, so you got to advocate for them because they can't,
right? But let's put you in the, in the shoes of my kid who's 16. Yeah. And that's happening.
Well, I'm going to give you the answer that I think you, you've used, you've, a lot is,
you should, the kid needs to ask the question, but then the kid needs to be prepared for the answer.
Right. Right. Which, you know, if they're 16, they, I need to equip them and help them to go
to the coach without me and say, what can I do to contribute more? Because you can help the kid
ask the question in the right way, you know, and not, not come off, you know, the wrong way.
But yeah, the kid needs to go ask that, but then the kid also should probably do some reflecting
before they ask that question so that if a good coach comes back, I mean, what, when a kid comes
to you and says, right, what do I, what can I do to play more? You know, my answer to that most of
the time is going to be, well, well, buddy, you know, why don't you reflect on what,
what, how the last, whatever period of time has gone? What have we talked about a lot?
What have we said that you need to do? Right. And if, if, uh, if the kid in that moment has no
ideas and has no responsibility of anything they possibly could do better, that conversation is
not going to go as well. As if the, the kid comes in saying, listen, I acknowledge I got to do
this and this better. I think I've made some progress on this, but maybe I'm not seeing that
translate into the increase in playing time I want, but I think, you know, helping that kid
to think through that issue, reflect and go into a conversation where the coach prepared
is the best thing you can do. This does go back to coaches responsibilities too, is if players
understand their roles and responsibilities within what you're trying to do and you're coaching
them individually, which I think is, is missing sometimes in our game because the kids aren't,
aren't being coached individually enough. So you have a philosophy and a way of playing that you
can articulate to your team. You have roles and responsibilities of players based on the way you
want to play the game. If you've communicated that and that's where your coaching kind of goes
towards, then I think it's a much easier discussion to have with a player who may not be
have the role that they want or the playing time that they want. And you can help them
with their guided discovery if you will. Even if you take this out of tactical level or behavioural
level, I mean, the best definition of tactics that I ever heard was these are agreements of how
we are going to play. Like in this situation, we all agree this is the what we're trying to achieve
in this section of the field or this is how we are going to create chances in this in this situation.
And if a player is unwilling or unable to do those things, that's going to have an impact on
their playing time, right? And there's a different question of unwilling or unable. One is a lot
easier to fix than the other probably. Certainly as you get older, but that's one of those questions
that a player needs to be ready for the answer when they ask, especially as they get into those 16,
17 age groups. Yeah, but the more you've laid out about what players need to do and again,
we've talked about two about it. You can't really get on a player about something that you haven't
told them how or what they need to be doing. We had a bet. We have like two countervailing
principles on that because the one is what you just said, which is if you haven't trained it,
you can't complain about it, right? And I think that is probably the more powerful of the two.
Like if you haven't trained it, you haven't taught it, then you can't be upset, mad, or complain
that they're not doing it. The other end of the principle and I have this conversation is kind
of jokingly with people. So the countervailing principle to that is if I have to train and teach
every single thing in the game to you, there's a problem, right? Somewhere in the middle, you got
to proactively learn, you got to figure some stuff out, right? But my default should be have I trained
it. Yes. The answer is no. Well, then you got to take responsibility to train it. But at some
point, there's also a responsibility on the player, especially as they get older. Like there's
some things you can just figure out that I shouldn't have to say, well, I didn't actually tell you
that yet, but I kind of assumed it was obvious. Yeah. All right. So last couple, talk about the
negativity or the view of coaching parents coaching from the sidelines. The concern of
parents coaching from the sidelines is the the the parent who just doesn't stop talking and they're
telling people what to do, mostly their kid, but over and over and over. You know, in theory,
telling people, you know, good job. It's not very high informational quality, right? But it is a
reward for behavior. You could argue saying, good job is coaching from the sidelines. You know,
shoot it. It's his coaching from the sidelines, right? Nice shot. Again, low informational quality,
but it's rewarding behavior. Like all those things are fine. I think what we're talking about in
coaching from the sidelines is when you're yelling to your kid to do something, first of all the first
the younger they are, the more you see the impact, right? Is that they just turn and they look at you.
And now they're not even looking at the game. But the other part is there's a lot of people who
say things that unintentionally and maybe naively because it might be even just wrong, but they're
contradictory to what the player has just been asked to do from the coach. And you're putting the
kid in a really difficult spot of do I listen to mom or dad or do I listen to coach? And even if
they're supportive, if the kid is turning to you on the sideline instead of playing the game or
looking to the coach, you're just making the I think you're making the experience cognitively
more difficult and maybe emotionally more difficult. So I think of that rule. Some people think
of that rule is like parents should shut up and they should. I don't think that's at all the point.
I think the point is like let's not put any more obstacles in roadblocks up for the kid who's
trying to think and for the kid who's trying to enjoy the game. Let's go. The dangers of comparing
your player to other players on the team worst. That's the worst. That's the worst. That's the worst.
They're all different. By the way, the younger they are, the more that is true also.
But they're all different. That kid's left footed. That might be a material difference in why
somebody's got certain opportunities and you don't. That kid is fast, but he's not super technical.
You're not fast, but you're super technical. It's a very different situations. This kid is late
every day. This kid is late once. This kid played 10 straight games really well and then had a
stinker. This kid is five and five. There is almost no situation in which comparing your child to
another child is positive and ends up in a good position because it almost always points out
things that either you cannot control or you're not aware of and it takes all of the focus away
from the kid and being self-empowered to focus on their own strengths and correct or minimize
their own weaknesses and take control of their environment and it puts it all on the outside.
That is almost would be in the top five. I think if I go back, I would say that would be an
honorable mention. Don't compare your kid to somebody else. Yeah, right. The last one, the intense
anxiety that we can create around college showcases and college recruiting. When you're playing
in a showcase or when anyone's watching, you shouldn't spare a zero emotional or cognitive energy
on what's happening on the sideline and you see this. You see this at EC&L events, right?
The kid makes a mistake and they take a look to the sideline to see who saw it, right? Or they do
something good and they do the same thing. And again, it go back to any of
amount of energy or focus that's not on the game means you are now not involved in the
game, which means you're probably going to underperform at some level. But the other
thing I think is just equally like impactful in a different way is that if you play really
well and feel like you played really well and somebody watching doesn't think you played
very well, that's their problem and you wouldn't want to go to that school anyway.
Right.
You know, at the end of the day, if you play and get better and keep working and playing
the way you enjoy playing and the way your team is asking you to play to your point
of tactics and agreements, the right school who values that will find you. And in the
meantime, when you make a mistake, do what every soccer player is supposed to do when
you make a mistake, which is just move on to the next thing and fix it.
Yeah.
Oh, I got one more start.
One more.
Rankings.
What kind of rankings?
Oh, team rankings, player rankings.
Rankings.
Rankings.
Don't like rankings.
I'll just, you know, I don't want to I don't like rankings.
You know what, you know what the kind of rankings that, you know, I think will be helpful
and interesting is as we, as you are aware of, as we move down some of the road of some
of the technology integration that we're talking about, where you can have data to sort
of do things like rank, who plays more forward passes into the final third accurately.
Yeah.
Who does that more than anybody else?
Who are the top players of that?
Who are the top players in 1v1 challenges?
Right?
I think those types of rankings, objective data that is also tied to performance in the
game.
So subjective rankings, useless, rankings of things that are not tied to the game, really
useless.
Yeah.
Data and using data to evaluate performance and identify strengths.
Really good, very rarely done, but I think it's a new horizon we're coming to on that
dog because I think that time is coming where we can start to do that as coaches, clubs,
leagues.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I don't know how we summarize this.
This is very philosophical, Doug.
It was very good set of discussion points from my perspective, at least.
Well, I led the discussion, so I feel that way as well, and I thank you for your kindness.
All right.
Bracken Brainbuster, Jacob comes on now and joins us for this part of it.
I don't even know if Jacob could be able to answer this, but I'm going to make him be
first.
I mean, he's not even showing up my camera right now, so I thought he was nervous.
He comes on late like after I'd asked it.
My question is, what's one thing you wish every ECNL parent knew?
Don't make me answer that first.
I've put Jacob on it.
Like what's one?
He looked at him.
He's got his ECNL polo on.
He's got his ECNL hat on.
He looks good.
He looks the part.
What is one thing?
Look good.
Look good, play good.
You remember that?
That's right.
Absolutely.
Look good.
He's got the beard.
The beard is solid.
Trim the beard down.
It was getting a little, it's getting a little mountain-managed.
Fair.
All right, Jacob.
What do you got?
One thing that every ECNL parent should hold on before you say this, I'm not trying
to hijack you here, but you come at this from an interesting perspective because you do
a lot of writing and a lot of press releases and a lot of the stuff that goes out publicly
to our people.
You produce the podcast, so that could be an interesting angle.
I think one thing that every parent needs to come into the ECNL every ECNL parent is
that the referee is not against your team, that the referees hold no bias.
They do not care who wins and loses, that they are going to make the calls, that they
think are correct, and you are coming from it from a biased perspective of thinking that
everything positive for your team needs to happen and everything, negative needs to happen
for the other team.
Well, if you're a jerk to them for the first half of the game, they might then have
hold a bias, and you probably couldn't blame them.
Right.
But there's no grand conspiracy that this ref is out against your team that they're playing
favorites with the other team or whatever.
It's very easy to get caught up in the moment and be frustrated, but the referees are not
against your team.
Okay.
Okay.
I like it.
We got a little referee stuff in there.
That's great.
That might be the best one.
That's a good one.
Are you going to beat that dog?
Am I going to beat it?
Well, I get to go last, so I hear everybody's first four.
Christian, what's one thing you wish every ECNL parent knew?
You had me kind of going philosophical today.
That's good.
So I'm going to end in that note as well and say that it will be over faster than you
think.
Say that because if you have that in the back of your head, I think it will help guide
you through all of the experiences a little bit better, but it'll be over faster than
you think.
We see this every year.
The last time a U18 team is at an ECNL or ECNL region link event, and it is one of those
moments where the kids, the kids know it's the last, the parents know it's the last.
Everybody says the same thing.
I can't believe it's over already.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's over faster than you think.
So better than a mind.
Okay.
I'm going to go totally different.
I wish every ECNL parent knew this is going to sound really like self.
Oh.
Yeah.
This is going to be my sound kind of douchey, but I don't mean it to me.
I wish every ECNL parent knew how pain stakingly we thought about every player's experience
when we do anything in this league.
Like we really like spend like countless hours time just trying to think about how to make
this better for players.
And I don't think people understand that and we have, you know, whatever 40 plus people
doing the same thing, right, and working for that.
I'll expand that to all the people in clubs as well.
I mean, there's a lot of a lot of people working and there's mistakes made and things
can be done better all the time.
But there's a lot of people that it takes a village to raise a soccer player and a soccer
team and a soccer club and a soccer league.
Yes.
And I think truly the guiding principle or the thought behind that is just to make it
better.
Like, just try to make it better.
And I think sometimes that gets lost in the shuffle because there's, we're doing a lot
of stuff and we're putting a lot of stuff out there and all that.
But truly, that's really what we're trying to do is just trying to make it better.
And that's the way we think about it.
Yes.
So I don't know that I wouldn't mean in that to be a pet on the back.
But you know what I think most parents would say that they're trying to make it better
too.
100%.
And then we get every pair with you and I'm doing the best I can.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So all right.
Good.
Open the season.
Good talk.
Welcome to 2026.
Everybody.
2026, 2027 season.
New year, new age groups.
Everything's starting.
It'll be different teams and stuff.
That'll be cool.
It'll be interesting.
It'll be fun.
I'm excited.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll be back in two weeks with another I'm sure gripping episode of this has been to
a couple in a row.
Where is this mean you?
I know.
We may have brought somebody out.
Might have brought somebody out.
There's a teaser.
Yeah, might be.
It might be time.
All right.
Breaking the line.
Out.
Thank you for listening to Breaking the Line, the ECNL podcast.
And remember, if you have a question that you want answered on breaking the line, the
ECNL podcast, email us at
[email protected].
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