The Young Woman In Conference Room B

(clears throat) - Take a sip of your muscle milk. - Okay, yeah, that's how you should. - Take a sip of your muscle milk. - That's exactly what this boy needed. - Yeah. - His man. - Chaug thee muscle milk. - Okay. - How's about to bring a boy to a man? (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - It comes a time in every man's life when actually there does come a time in every man's life. - No, genuinely, I've never seen muscle milk before like last week, and I've seen like three of my friends you included drinking it. So what's coming on? - Well, this is like-- - Is it bulking season? Stop fingering the muscle milk with your toes. - Okay, I was trying to get it out of frame. - But this is actually not muscle milk, it's lean body. - Oh, okay, it's lean body. - Yeah. And lean body allows you to do things like this, like show you the lean body. - Why are you drinking lean body? - First of all, it's just, I know it's so bad for me, which is great. - Is it? - Yeah, I just read the ingredients. Basically, nothing could be, there's nothing, it does feel like there's an evil foot on that ingredient list. And let me just, let me see. - Yeah, like, I don't think I should be putting cyan, cobalamen, molly bit day. - There are never any words that you can understand on ingredients labels for the most part. - They should have like a dummy version that's like, you just don't worry about a kitten. - Yeah. All good, kitten. - All good, kitten, you're okay. - You'll be so fine, kitten. - Go play. I was, you met at the other day, I was buying like a handful of daily items that I needed to get through the week and I go, whoa. What is any of this stuff? - Okay. (laughs) - This, hello, Obama. It is, this is a classic to me, a banana. - So confused what's happening. My question was, why are you drinking lean milk? - Well, okay, I, when I started working out at my gym, my new gym, that I hadn't been to. - Oh my god, and he's me. That was a combination of muscle milk and lean body. When I was, well, I've been working towards this lean body of mine for ages, obviously. - Okay, so it's your, you have a goal in mind with lean body. - Yes. - Okay. - I was just out with my family and they're just like, they obviously last week I was in Michigan and to the young woman who sends me a death threat every time I take a bite of food on this podcast, that banana slurping was for you, girl. I'm thinking about you today in this dude. I was with my family and they, my parents are to that age now where they like don't like, they don't really, I'm like, should we get food and they're like, oh, I hadn't really even thought of that. I'm like, who, how is no one hungry at all? Like we, the rate meals a day is standard, no? - No, it is. Like my, my mom like has like, doesn't eat eat. Like I don't understand what happens. Has you aged that you just don't require food anymore? - It's, it's not like we're just like kind of sitting around. It's not like we're traveling and there's like, no access to food. We will be like hanging out or relaxing like, so what are we going to do for dinner? And my whole family, geez, like, have you, like do you want to wait? Have you experienced any hunger today at all? I'm like, I'm starving right now. Like I'm shaking. I'm irritable on a bad mood. They're just like, really like mind blown and I need at least two meals a day. - Wow. - Yeah. Like I'm eating and I'm like, kind of in fight or play, I wonder if we'll eat again. Should I, should I double up, you know? - Yeah. They're just not that good. - I'm glad that you're getting your, your gains in your protein right now, making up for losses. - Yeah. Oh god, yeah, I'm not even done. I'm gonna have this, our X bar. - Oh my god. - 12 more grams. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We're talking 52 grams of protein by breakfast. - I want to see you bulk up by the end of this podcast. - Today. - Yeah. I might get a little engorged. - I want to see you, I can't actually, the end of that sentence was like not gonna be okay at all. - I want you to finish that sentence. - No, I know, I'd really prefer not to. Thank you though. - Can you, you said, I wanna see you completely throbbing. - I wanna see you. - Okay. I'm not as handsome as, I'm not as handsome as, - Girl. (laughing) - Girl. (laughing) - Oh. - Girl. - Okay, I wanna do a little follow up. And I want everyone to kind of try to stick with us here. This is something that like, fuck like, we're gonna reach a point. And I think that this podcast is our, like we reach a point here where we need to stop. We need like the fun and games are over. Thank you guys so much for listening. There's too many people listening now where no matter who we talk about or mention, it's coming across their desk in a big way. I did get what feels like a threat to my email the other day from someone that I'm too scared to bring back up. But I just wanna say, one, one I'm gonna circle back on really quick is, how, what a week. - I'm gonna, I have a name that I'd like to call him. - Okay. - Well, 'cause here's the deal. You guys might remember that I imprinted on someone a few weeks ago. Not my friend's birthday party because I walked into this room and some people might not know 'cause I don't talk about it. I've been writing a book, I wrote a book. And there's a few love interests in it. And I don't really picture people when I'm writing, but for whatever reason I walked into this room and I saw this young man and I said that is thin. And I'm just gonna say his name, the young man from, from my book. And in a way that like took my breath away, I was like this, I've been spending so much time with this man in my head for the past year. And here he is in front of me in the most insane way. He was just like a very beautiful man that I imprinted on. Spoke about it pretty in depth on the podcast. I never said a word to him, I was just admiring. And yeah, that's really it. Connor, take it away. - I mean, everyone knows. - Obviously I found his credentials because I was needing to show my agents who had read the book. I was like, hey, like this is, I found the thin. And so obviously I had to find the socials. And I also had to show Connor. So Connor, take it away. - So obviously I'm like, oh, like, yeah. I like feel like I've seen this. First of all, I don't know, like where. - I think I've seen this come before. - And then this weekend we had a gathering. And someone catches my eye from a cross the backyard. And I said, slay. - As it's freaking, it was freaking thin. - It was thin to a tee. - In the most incredible way. - I'm wearing a wig, if you're having a wig party, I sprint up going, I must have, I'll show you the wig I had on. I must have looked like, what's the kid in that cartoon? I must have, okay. Moments that felt like Goofy's yell, me around it, me sprinting up to the chung man. - Hey, hey, hey, you look like the Korean. - Yes, I had not even introduced myself at all. Like there's no reason for any of this to be happening. - No, and no. And you know what, yeah, make that big. So I'm gonna show you what I looked like, what wig I was wearing. - Also, please just Connor sent the imagery, no context him and this wig with the young man. Okay, imagine receiving a text message like that. (laughing) - And I'm running up, I looked like this. I was in a bathing suit, I was drooling. Hey, hey, what happened? (laughing) - Can I, I'm so curious what you said to him. Like how would you even start to explain the connection? Like, hey, my friend, I'm printed on you a few weeks ago. - It all happens so fast. - I said, oh, I have a friend to like, like saw you. - Did you mention the friend was like a girl? - Yeah. And he goes, she knows I'm gay. I go, oh God, yeah. - That's it, baby. - I go, I think that's what they did for her. - That's the heapy's. (laughing) - I think that's what, I think that's what, that's what's kind of sending her to where we are now. And I said, then we have a podcast and we talked about you for 10 minutes. And he was just like, oh. Ooh, he was like, oh, oh, wow, I'll have to listen to it. And I was like, then, like. - I feel hurry, I'll be honest. - No, then he got back, then I like kind of was just like, hold on, like what did I just say to this stranger? And then I was, and he was, and he left right after, I told that, I told him that. - It's so crazy how like, Obviously, he's so important us and he means so much in in our lives and yet we are strangers to him in that moment We we were strangers. I do want to go back again to Ray from praying bridge I want to let everyone know Ray from framers I think I said two words and then I spoke about his character in depth for about five minutes on this podcast and like Ray if you're out there and you're listening By the way my my my my my frames been ready for a week and a half. I'm too scared to go back to the store I think I might have to send someone else. I will go with you when I'm there next week Yeah, yeah, you're going to be here. Yeah, that could be fine Yeah, Ray if you're listening like my bad that is really just not we need to Like it's something that we're constantly working on about ourselves is not speaking about people as in depth as we have been without having met them at all. Yes That is something that we're working on maybe even spoken to them in Anyway, when to hear something horrible. I didn't even really tell this last week with cat I think I only mentioned it on the bonus briefly I like work karma to myself in the manifestation space in a really horrible way Let me explain what I mean by that corner Okay, I don't know if you know I've been banned from hinge Okay, because I didn't realize what I was having was like an extreme OCD flare-up of like The way I was downloading and deleting the app 18 times a day I wasn't realizing like what was going on in my brain It became like a compulsion that I was not even aware of It was just like just something that I needed to do and people were like just pause your account And I'm like if that it does it that is not satisfying the compulsion Okay, I need to delete the account rebuild it from the ground up put myself back out there Fresh slate and then get really upset about the fresh slate, okay? That was what I was needing to do and then delete it and recycle that cycle, okay? But some of you might remember a few months ago There was this one young man that I was like, I'll just give him a year to match me back or something, right? Just a year just a year and anyway because I had deleted an Rebooted my account so many times. I probably sent him like 14 to 85 likes Over the course of the past few months and I was like, you know what it's fine his phone's like in at the bottom of the ocean, right? For whatever reason Connor I Every guy I see on hinge Truly at least ten of them. I then get them on my tiktok for you page Like I feel like there's some sort of link between hinge and tiktok There is I Think that that's when you know when an app is like do you can you will you allow this app to track yeah across your other apps? Maybe that's it because I think that they're They're working together to build Connections they're building bridges So anyway, there was an extreme bridge that was built between the guy that never like me back and my Fyp in a way that blasts at him out in a way that He I was able to see perceive him speaking about hinge and His likes and how he doesn't get a lot of likes and they're pretty pretty dry space Etc. He's really not looking for much. He's just he just wants a cute girl Connor. That is literally all the poor guys asking for Imagine the shock to my system seeing that when I'm just eating my scrambled eggs. Okay, so I want to say I think that I brought this upon myself This is karma for all of the negative things I've ever said about the men on my hinge profile I feel like this is a punishment because it did it really didn't feel good and So I want to go back and say that every guy I've gotten on his just so fucking hot and That's really it and I and that's all that's where I want to end this story and I'd never want to say hinge in this space again Thanks, okay cool. I'll try to hold you accountable. I Do want to say that that young man that you're enamored by does look like a spitting image of your brother. There is no similarity Um, oh, I'm also getting emails now when he posts because I watch so much. What is that? Why why I get emails to with like the most random people and I don't follow Yeah, so I'll get emails whenever he posts a new video about hinge and And the state of his likes Which is an amazing thing to be receiving in my personal Gmail Oh, bro, I mean if it helps you I genuinely did a double take thinking it was your young man Noah. I will say I'm just I'm relieved to be off the platform for good Therapist gave me some good strategies And and shit like that. So well, we're the strategies that you're therapists gave you a lot of redirection when I feel the the compulsive need to Submit an appeal for my man. I Have not yet submitted an appeal. Wait. What are your redirections? Just like can I be honest. I wasn't really listening If you don't like me being completely honest for a second, I think I'd say I'm not at that part Okay, I have I have one I have one you can use What you anytime you have a compulsive thought Or if you are being enamored by something or this is a something stressing you out a Good a good grounding technique is to do look around the room Five things you can see Four things you can hear. Thank you so much. Three things you can smell Two things you can taste and one thing you can touch it was more so just like doing something else Like an action like an activity Like looking around the room finding nothing you can see like Something that would satisfy the compulsion. We are trying to figure out what that would be and then I couldn't come up with anything Folding your laundry. No, like I don't want to do that. Oh What do you want to do? You're thinking trying to think of something less dangerous for me. I Wanted I well what I really want to do is submit an appeal Well, what do you what do you want to do that's less dangerous than folding your laundry? No, it has to be more dangerous than that, but less dangerous than submitting an appeal Like what I don't know baby. That's the problem. I know I'm certain that was the end of the session and Then we were going to tackle it this week So I'll let you know next week What the plan is when I feel the impulse to submit an appeal? Yeah, hit me where it hurts. I'm very curious. Yeah, I want to hear what happens with this. Yeah, I'll let you know I really like my new therapist I need to get a new one again What like what do you mean again? Well because I just go I guess it my my young gentleman. We were not vibing like this I do want to say talk about manifestation space. Do you remember how heavily I was hit by his advice to when I am so stressed out that I can't do anything and his advice to me was we'll just do it. Yeah, and Then my my gash looking like an absolute Nike swish in my arm That will make me think about him for the rest of you to get a tattoo on your gash I kind of don't want to get the Nike tat Nike logo on serious. Yeah, it's weird because of My lean body you would expect me to really want the The Nike tattoo or something like and that space but no, I don't want it at all What if you got something that like represented to just do at mindset that wasn't the Nike logo on the I don't want a picture of the young man that I was on zoom with And I can't for I can't be actually a young man It's impossible to say his age. It was one of those people that's like Could be 27 or could be 49. Yeah, I could not tell totally In possible to say I I also want to say our E My lean body. Yeah, that I started running distance again Like distance sometimes really Some distance and I broke my foot You broke your foot. I fractured Something in my foot. Yeah Well, you be I'm exaggerating. I think I heard a tendon in my foot, but I can't walk Oh my god Connor. I'm so sorry. Oh my ass is limping around. Well, you need a boot There's a chance I could have a boot which would not be an ideal situation But because I have no like concerts or anything coming up that a boot benefit me For two concerts to boots benefit you at a concert. Yeah, you kind of count You kind of count as skip the line vibes. Really? Yeah Legally or just like that's just an understood rule on spout in terms of like a handicap Yeah, I think that you would be you could go in the front With your boot I didn't know that Connor Well, it's like so it's something I'm telling you right now. Wait. How was your birthday part? Was it your birth? It was your birthday party Yeah, you want to talk about it or no? Yeah, they can join birthday. Um, I realized To like yesterday that we didn't leave the house one time That's my ideal. Yeah, we had people over Every day swam by the pool hung out. I got a bouncy house. I can't explain to you To have a bouncy house slide as an adult as a young man too and that's an adult to have a bouncy house there. I haven't felt at level of serotonin. And so I was giggling, I was feeling, I was seeing colors more brighter, more brighter. It was so special to me. And I was just like, it was just so fun. I was feeling joy. - Oh, I love to hear that but you were feeling joy. - Other people were coming and you know when like, someone in a movie when like a young man or a young woman just starts dancing and someone goes, they all kind of look at each other and they go, "Let's dance." You join it and then all of a sudden everyone's dancing? - No. - But I liked the sound of it. - I was just like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this slide. And then people started doing this slide. And I feel like everyone wanted to do this slide. But no one was doing it because they were holding back 'cause they go, "I can't, I can't." - Oh, now I think I know the senior talking about. - Yeah, I can't do that. That's too, I'm, I'm, I can't. Like I can't, I can't really, I can't let my hair down in that way. But I said, I implore you too. I implore you to do this slide like that. And people had fun and they really enjoyed it. It was such a blast. I wish I had any other update but it was really pretty much like an old person's birthday party and older gentleman's birthday party. - That sounds like a dream. - It was good. It's just like I'm having a panic attack today just being done with my family trip and my, and my birthday. It's just like back to school vibes right now. - Well, we're gonna go all out for your birthday when I'm in New York 'cause it's Gabby's 21st birthday and she'll be there. - All right. - So we'll take her out and we'll celebrate both of your birthdays. - That's really crazy. - Just the, just the gang like we used to do. - Just me, you and Gabby, my sister's under Christ. - Yeah, feel free to invite everyone. Let's go big. - Let's go big for it. - Let's go pretty huge. - Oh, I know your ass wants to be out until sunrise. - I'm like craving it so bad. - I also saw my grandma last week. - Yeah. - Which is really good. - Not me, me. - No, my other grandma. Who just like is unable to start a sentence without saying when I'm no longer here. - Right. Wow, it gets to a point. Your life gets to that point sometimes. - I know. And it's just like, it's insane to have my birthday and then like be hearing like when I'm no longer here and she talks about like being dead in a way that's like in a way that's like, oh, like when I'm, when I had out later, like here's the directions. - That's the goal to be that at peace with that. - Here's the directions on how to use the oven. Like if I'm, if I'm gone later, here's where the key is under the mat, you know? Like I'm like, should we get a coffee? Like down the street, like we go down to the coffee shop and get a coffee, she goes, oh my gosh, we totally can't. And you know, when I'm no longer here, like you can still get coffee. - Does she think she's like, is she preparing to not be here like any second? - I guess, but it's just like, shut up about dying 20 years ago. - How old is she? - I know it's rude to ask a woman her age, but. - 94? - Yeah, that's, that's a significant number. - Yeah, so forgive me for missing the podcast last week. Me and her were just shooting the shit in a big way. It was almost, it was almost, it was almost G and C make a P.A. 'cause we sat there and talked our decks off. - I wish you would have recorded it. - I recorded a little bit, but all it is is her talking about being six feet under. And I'm not joking, talked about where she wants to be buried. We talked about, my dad randomly, I don't know, I was like, yeah, my Connor loves to go to the cemetery and look around. And I'm like, I've never, I don't want to go to the cemetery. - Yeah, I don't really do those spaces in a good way. - I don't really, I don't really fuck with the cemetery. You call me crazy, but I do, like, I also don't want to talk about death ever. - So let's move on. Do you want to do that? - On my vibe. Yeah, we totally can. - Because I've also been having some like horrible death related anxieties. - Yeah. - And so it couldn't hurt to move on. - Okay, well, I also, okay, I'll just say that like, I don't know what hat, what was in the water this week. I don't know if everyone's like drinking tap water, all of a sudden losing their minds, but if one more person gets engaged on a timeline. - I'm about to freak the fuck out. - Yeah, I'm buying a gun and I'm gonna put it, you know, it's like, like, everyone got engaged. I think 16 people got engaged this weekend and you know what I got? Eczema, randomly, I got Eczema now. It's been grasping your wedding, I gotta go get some user in. I can't really get you, I can't really go get you guys a wedding gift right now, I'm lubed up, I can't get my door open out of my mat to leave my bathroom. I have so much lotion all over me. - Extremely tough. - It's a tough, we're at a tough age. - It's crazy. - People are getting engaged and I'm getting banned. - On hand, just like, yeah, and I'm getting eczema. You get, you get it. What are the chances I get banned on the day you get eczema? - 100%, 100% for us, of course I would get eczema. And by the way, it's everywhere. - Yeah, I believe it. - And guess what, my feet don't inch anymore, but armpits should do. I, and I think it's, it said it could be, they said, well, they luckily were able to narrow it down to, it could be anything. - Okay. - So I have to go get blood tests. Something's telling me it's not eczema at all. - Oh. - And it's like a sign of a large issue. - Well, you were in the nature for a while. Maybe it's like something we made contact with. - Yeah, it could be any, they were able to, they included that in the anything. Poor it. They could be nature and not nurture. But it also could be nurture at the end of the day as well too. So I have to tell you, go, please go ahead. - I just want to start going back to people getting engaged. - Yeah. - I don't know if I've asked you this before. - I stopped caring about that shit like that. You know what I mean? - No, I just think that like spread it out a little bit. Like I don't need, I don't need to be like, "Hmm, should I get Thai food or Chinese food?" And then like open my Instagram. Should I like order Chinese food to sit on my couch by myself and watch this is 40 for the 20th time? - Yeah. - And then I open Instagram and get absolutely just like assaulted by my own feet. This is my feed, where are you guys assaulting me? - Well Connor, I know I said a few minutes ago that it wasn't okay and everything like that but it's just changed my attitude, it is what it is. - No, I agree. And I also like I'm really happy for them. - That's exactly what I'm trying to say. - Yeah, I am happy for them. This is not like a slight at all. I just like, I don't care if something happens. That's good for you. - No, we need to have to like be positive in this space. I'm very serious. - Yeah. - No, something good should happen to me too though. - It would and it will. - I hope everyone's having a good day but as long as mine is good too. - It's fine to want two things. - Yeah, two things can be true at the same time. You can have a good day but I also need to. - I also need to in a pretty severe way, so. - Yeah. I want to say two things that are not related to each other at all. One, I want to say, I've been thinking about wedding gifts a lot because a young woman asked me, she's like, I'm flying to my friends wedding. It's gonna cost $700 to fly there. Do I still get them a gift? - I had that problem once. My flight was $1,000 and then I gave a gift but like just money and it was like not a big amount and I felt bad. That was like, is this even worse than not getting a gift? - My thing about wedding gifts is like, if you're having a destination wedding like that, I think you guys are good. Congrats on your dual income. Here's some money for me. No, here's a gift. Sorry, that might be a hot take. - No, there's a lot of conversations to be had with wedding politics. I don't know, I'm actually, I've been really free from the wedding. Obviously like last year, when was the year that I was just like gone at a wedding every, wow, that was really gnarly. I was at a wedding every weekend for like six months. I'm so glad I'm not in that area anymore or any more. So there's that. The second thing that's been happening to me recently, it could be because I've been around so many babies but I'm ready to have a baby. - You told me that yesterday. - Yeah. - That's amazing. - Yeah, I want a baby. I don't want to do anything to get it or anything and I also need like a lot of help. - Okay, well, let's think about it. What's good on it? - Well, 'cause you said that your worst, our cycles are not same right now that you, you're not interested in having one of your own at all. - Not, no, not, not at all. But like I feel like in the past, like I've always been like, I want kids so badly. And now I'm kind of just like, whatever happens happens. Like I think now what I've realized I, what I want is a family. And so I don't think I would have kids like on my own. Even though that's not necessarily what you're asking. - Are you saying that like freeze your eggs vibes? - Yeah. I don't think I'm gonna, well, actually, no, you can freeze your eggs and then use them like with the partner. So I might still do that because time is ticking. But I don't think like, I always thought like, okay, at what age would I just move forward with having kids on my own? But now I don't feel that way. It's like if it doesn't happen like with someone that I don't think that I want kids. Does that make sense? - Wow, interesting. - Yeah, and that's like with my, 'cause I think my cats satisfy enough of genuinely, my cats satisfy the need of like taking care of someone and loving something unconditionally. I'm not even like being dramatic. - Wow, this is like a really deep combo that we're having. - Yeah, but I still want one like a family that like cats can't give me. - See, I'd like to have, I'd like to have like two lives. - Right. - And not in two lives in like an evil secret way. - Yeah. - Two like transparent lives where like, if I'm in the mood to go hang out with my family and like we have, we live in the suburbs and everything like I can go be a father. - It sounds like we need Stardew Valley on the switch. - No, I don't want, I don't want to play, I don't want to be, I don't need any more screen time. I really need to be out like and touching grass and touching my family. - With your kids. - My kids. - Well, I'm sure there's like a, whenever you decide that you are ready to have a family, there's like a lot of ways we can go about figuring that out for you. - Yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm ready. I'm gonna look into it right when we get off this call. - Okay. - Actually, what I have to do right if this call, I go on tour tomorrow. - There's no way. - And by the time, once this comes out, I'll already be leaving Washington DC after my first four shows there. - Wait a minute. - I thought I was gonna see you all of next week in New York. - Oh, Brooke, listen to my schedule for these next five days. If you weren't worried about it enough, since the last time I saw you in LA, where we had the narliest week, I left from there and went straight to Michigan with my family. - Right. Were you able to get at least some relaxation there? - Oh, yeah, oh heavens, yeah. - Okay, good. - And then I went straight from there to Hampton's for this weekend. - Yes. - And then straight from there, back here for just today. - Okay. - And leave tomorrow for DC. Leave DC for Nashville for Friday Saturday, former shows. See you soon Nashville if you're listening right now. And then Sunday, I see you in Long Island. - Yee. - And then we'll be back in the city with each other. - Yee. - But yeah, a little bit of an Arley schedule, but it feels good to be back at it, baby. - I can't help but leave you in this never-ending tour. - It's great. It's amazing. - It is. - No. There's this thing going around that I keep seeing that is obviously cheesy, but it gets me every single time. This quote of how lucky are you to be able to complain about something that used to be a dream. I'm completely butchering. - Oh. - But do you know what I'm talking about? - The work that now stresses you out is the work that you prayed for. - Yes, yes. Something like that and every time I see it, no matter how cheesy it is, I'm just like, yes. - Boom. - Boom. - Shaka and Laka. Yes. - Boom and I cannot emphasize this enough. Shaka, Laka. I, there was also one that said, the boredom that you feel right now is the peace that you once prayed for. - So true in an amazing way. - I wish that everything could just be like that normal though. Like, why is it always like, why does the grass always have to be greener? - It is. I just wanna say to people, to anyone who is unhappy in their lifestyle, the grass is always greener. When I was teaching, I would pray every day. And you know how much I loved those kids, but just like the lifestyle of teaching wasn't for me. I would pray every day. I was like, I want to make the most amount of money possible with doing at least amount of work. And I'll be honest about that. That is what I want. That is what I wanted at the time. Enter, influencing. It literally prayers answered. And then I was like, oh, I'm so unfulfilled. That's amazing. And now things are starting to balance out. But truly like all I wanted was what I got. And then when I got it, I was like, never mind. - Yeah, I always feel that with like work stuff, I was telling, I was getting coffee this morning and I was telling someone that I like last week when I begged for no one to email me, I was having a panic attack every day asking why no one was emailing me if my career was over. And they're like, you told us not to email you. - Our brains toxic. - Like no, my brain does not let me like be proud and happy. Every time I'm like, I am living my dream 'cause I am, I'm living my dream. Writing this book and publishing this book. This is my dream. And then instead of being able to be like, this is so incredible. I'm so proud of myself, whatever my brain goes, I really think that you're dead and living in a parallel universe. I really think that you, so what happened was you actually passed away. And now you're living in some sort of like dream world. Can't possibly just be like, good job. Brook, pack yourself on the back, kiss your brain. You are dead. - No, I've been dead. I think I've died 40, 40, 50 times like Mickey 17. - Mickey. - That was a crazy move. - Do you remember when I was like connecting with Robin that way? - Yeah. Don't forget that, that you did that shit. - Yeah, you did that shit. - That was the most truly the sickest I've ever felt. No, it wasn't. The sickest I've ever felt was this weekend. You wanna hear what happened to me? - I do when I was gonna say, I don't think it was. I think that something else has taken the top spot. - Yeah, so some of you might not know. I do not hang out with a lot of like straight men in Los Angeles or in general, but like in Los Angeles, it's been like the only straight man that I ever encounter, I think is Miles, cat's boyfriend. - Yeah. - And I'm getting really, like I love that guy more than life itself. I feel normal around him, but with other straight men, I'm like, what? How to be, you know? - What? - How to be a person. - Oh, how to be. - How to be. And so we were with some of Miles's roommates this weekend. It really just won and he had a zin. He was like sucking on one of those. I this whole time, I mean, I have, I can't rape, hurts my throat too bad. I've tried to suck on a vape. I cannot, I can't do sick. I've never smoked a cigarette. I want to be one of those girls that can have a drunk cigarette, hurts my throat. Can't do it. So I've never had nicotine in my system, really. Okay? My understanding of what the zin was that it was like Nicarat gum. Like it's like a way to ween, I thought it was a way to like ween yourself off of vaping. Like a mint of sorts. So Miles's roommate is sucking on his in and I'm like, hey, let me try one of those. Give me one of those. And he's like, are you sure? And he was like, yeah. I put it in my mouth and I'm like, I don't know why people are saying these are like crazy. Like it doesn't taste like anything, really. - 10, nine. - Meanwhile, I'm also spelling at X, Y, N this whole time, like Zaden from fourth wing. Like I'm like, so and then like a few minutes go by. I like truly, I can't stress enough. I thought this was just like a mint. I'm like, why do I feel like so, so sick? In like such a sickly way. I don't really, I'm not like, I don't drip sweat. I have like rain drops dripping off of my nose. Like all of a sudden, what's happening? I got, y'all, I did not know. And apparently there are like different doses of them. This was the six. - You did the big, you did the big boys. - This is the six piece. This is the six pack. I had the six pack. I mean, on the bathroom floor of this bar for 30. - Distrenched. - Drenched. Walking out of that bathroom, you would have think I had just gotten out of the work trenches underground with like my helmet was present. I just took my helmet off. My hair was like completely smashed to my head. I have no coloring. It was awesome. I see, yeah, to go from never having had any amount of nicotine in your system to a Zen six, like that's, like I don't understand the science, but I believe that's just like straight into your system. - It's straight, it goes straight in. I'm so dumb. I really truly thought it was like Nicaracum. - No, it's like a dose that. - Yeah, it's a hit. It's just like a very concentrated supply of nicotine. - Yeah, and it's not even like a vapor. It's like, oh, it's like, it's like right into, it's liquid, just right in. - I just feel it in my bloodstream. - I'm getting the chills. - It was truly, I'm, it's. - Is that? - Is that? - Yeah. - Hmm, it was amazing. - That's a right-a passage that you go through that everyone has had. Like I think most people you ask have had that experience except most people have throw up. I throw up all the time as people. No. I cannot believe throw up didn't come out of me. I was actually too sick to throw up. Did you swallow it? No. I took it out after like 10 minutes when I was like something's really not right. But I was letting up the bathroom floor. I had to throw up so horribly and I was soaking wet. But I couldn't, I couldn't, I was too weak to throw up. It was very scary. I thought I was going to hospital. I mean, I mean, that's scary. I, I've had two experiences. We used to dip way back in, you used to dip in high school. Do you know what dip is? Kind of. Like just like straight tobacco, right? I can't, yeah. Like it's like, you pack it. And it's like, how old were you when you were doing that? I don't, like high school, like for 15. That's crazy. It looks like an old man thing to me. It looks like, it looks like cancer in a job. It looks like caviar. Oh, it does look like caviar. And you just suck it, like it's in. Now you like pack it up and you put it in your, to your lip. Like, so you sped it out. But the girls who dip, girls who dip. So I looking for hinge prompts. Look at a girl who, a girl who can pack a very fat lip. I do this in the back of the bus. I mean, it like upon arrival, it was, it was vom city, USA, like it was, and everybody throwing up like nine, nine people at one time throwing up because this like, you cannot swallow any amount of it. You have to spit. I think Zins, you can swallow it. Like you don't swallow the Zen, but I think you swallow like your spit. I'm sure I was swallowing my spit. I wasn't spinning it out. That's for sure. Oh, that's for damn sure. You're, you're, I think like a lady. Meanwhile, my waiter was on the glee project. I thought I was hallucinating. What do you mean? You know what the glee project is? No. There was this reality show at the same time as glee. Like, and you would compete like American Idol style to get a spot on glee. And so it ended up that like the four winners like were on glee. And one of the guys who had won was my waiter when I was in. Thank you. Random. Yeah, it was pretty random. Full circle vibes. I, um, they say, oh, and then recently this happened to me. We were at someone's house. It was evening. And I am sitting there chatting, just sitting on the couch chatting, casual vibes. And um, it was actually, it was Paid Lorenzo's house. And so she's on Instagram live. And I'm on the Instagram live. And I take a big swig of what I thought was my beer. Oh, what else could it have been? Oh, book. It was not my beer at all. Whiskey? No, someone had spit their three old zens into it. And it was full of their spit. And I took a big swig. That is making me sick. I want everyone to know. Like obviously, if you are all for all my freaks out there that like if you have like had someone else spit in your mouth or like, we all have spit in our mouth, but to have a mount enough of someone else's spit to take like a thirst quenching sip. It's something that will stick with you. It's been two months. I can I still feel it in my mouth right now. That I've hives. I'm getting sister exema. You have hives. I have eggs a month everywhere. I'm sorry that happened to you. That's all I can say. No, it's really, it's something that stays with you. Yeah. Um, it is totally fine. We could do, we could, we should talk about something. Oh, wait, this is kind of funny. I talked to my grandma over this weekend. And when she was 48, she was smoking when she was 48, she was so funny telling me I was like, how much did you smoke? She's like, I would smoke basically like when someone walked in my room in her office. She's like, I smoked for someone came in the office. I smoked when I had like any task. And then I would smoke when someone like leave my office because like I would smoke when like I would like move my chair. I would smoke kind of when I would like open a drawer or door or windowed smoke as well. She was, I couldn't, I couldn't even count how many things she said. Describing everyday actions. Yeah. Like every time she would do anything she'd smoke. And then at like 48, my dad wrote her a letter when he was like 12 or something and said, I don't want you to die. And she stopped that day and she never smoked another cigarette. Wow. It's not insane. That's crazy that there are people that can do that. Oh, she goes, I, yeah, it was, I was just done. Wow. I feel like I was like that with like reading. How so? One day I just never picked up another book. I'm trying to think of what I just cold turkeyed. I've cold turkeyed my meds a few times before. That was, that was not smart. I don't think I've cold turkeyed much. I love cold turkey though. That's one of the best deli meats to eat cold. You could eat it hot too. It's very versatile. Have you speaking of turkey? Have you seen the new like catfish documentary? Unknown number one. No, it was speaking of turkey because I was thinking deli fish catfish by the way. Yeah. This documentary is the most insane thing that I have seen in my 20 redacted years. What's it on Netflix? It's basically just this young couple, like 14 year olds. We're getting harassed over text for like a year. These like really like horrible graphic obscene like sexual and like threats and it was you just you can't say that. My bad leave that out. Honour just revealed the culprit. Here's the thing. I had known it's everywhere. It's so I had known the culprit before I started watching. And then as I started watching, I was like, Oh, I must have misunderstood what I had seen because there's no way that that could be and low and behold. Y'all need to watch it. It's like so frightening. I didn't look into it. I also want to see the Amanda on the man to knock stock. Yeah, I'll watch that. I've been watching TV again. Nice. Oh, um, wait. Um, what happened to what was with the man to knock? She just was traveling abroad and then her roommate got murdered by someone. Yeah, she was the main suspect. She got framed. Yeah. Did she actually did she do it? Located. I don't know. I haven't looked into it enough. I don't know what the general consensus is. She's like going on podcasts. I think the general consensus is that she did it. The way, well, it's like crazy that she's just not. She's like, Oh, no, she's doing podcasts right now. But maybe she didn't do it. I don't know. There's always a change. She didn't do it. But I think it'd be the way that I know for a fact if she came on our podcast and we had her for 65 minutes, we would forget to bring up the murder. There would be no talk of the documentary or the show, the miniseries, whatever it is. We were talking about, we would talk about, uh, deli Mids, we talk about like, does she, does she like stickers? Do we talk about just like the craziest dumbest crap? And then people'd be like, why didn't you ask her about killing her roommate? Right. And I'm like, Oh my god, I just didn't come out. It slipped my mind. Although, I'll be honest, that's not something that would slip my mind. If, if we're sitting in the Cali Clarksons with her, I'd be pretty aware of those accusations. Really? Yeah, I'd be like on edge. Do you think you've ever been in the same room as someone who's killed someone? I think we all have. Really? At least by accident. Like they've killed someone by accident or you were in the room with them by accident. No, that they've, we've at least been in a room with someone who's like gotten a terrible like car wreck. Oh, that's like bone chilling to hear. Yeah. Do you think that you've ever been in a room as someone who has killed someone? Like murder, like intentional murder. I mean, think about how many rooms you've been in. Yeah. Like, yeah. Concerts? Yes. I was thinking concert, but then I was like, do you think, have you, do you think you've ever been like within? Like trapped, trapped, like, of a Moido. Yeah. I think we all have a crazy thing about and they walk among us. Yeah. I know for a fact in New York, I walk by killers every day. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Speaking of, so someone texted me this weekend and was like not speaking of it all by the way, like everyone. We're trying with the transitions and it's not, it's not. It's like there's, the transitions aren't transitioning today. Yeah. So it texted me this weekend. I was like, hey, Connor. And I was like, no, I'm not responding to that because I, the spam texts are getting really good. I just saw a spam text that came into someone that was like, hey, do you need barbecue in the park today? I would have been like, sure. Oh, so some text me Connor and I didn't respond and then they texted me later. I think we found your wallet. So a wallet's been missing. Yeah. I go holy moly, like, really? And they go, yeah, they text me. Like, they're like, we found your wallet. And I'm like, okay, this is awesome. This is epic. Where are you? And they go, we're at this bar in New York. And I go, okay, that checks out. Why, like, why was it there? You know, like, whatever they were like, it was on the ground outside. Mind you, I left it in a taxi. That's where it was. But it was being used. Like, people were using whoever this person is that used my card for $500. I said Burger King. Hope they had a fun. What, I don't know what they, what they could have gotten for $500 at Burger King. But like, I hope it was fun. It was sitting outside this bar. And I'm like, okay, amazing. Like, what's your, what's your info? Like, do you still have it? She goes, oh, no. I go, where is she goes? Honestly, we're really drunk. Like, you might want to call the bar. See if it's still like outside. That's what they were. Okay, they weren't drunk. Like, they were sober enough to like find you and reach out. But couldn't possibly like hold onto the wallet. No, and I was like, did you, could you, could you give it to someone that like, we already left, sorry. Okay. Okay, thank you. Thank you for letting me know. That was a tease. Obviously called the bar and they go, we don't have a wallet. I'm sorry. Someone does. I'm sorry, Connor. It's okay. I mean, it was just, it was like nice little tease. It's always fun to have like a little bit of hope and then have it taken away from you. Yeah. Whatever. Well, it's like, it will probably find its way back to you eventually. It always does. Yeah. It's like a boomerang. Yeah, you know, I have so many doppelgangers. Yeah, I do know that. You know what? I would really love to have happened to me. Tell me. I think my dream is to have an older woman come out to me and say, you look. Like, my late husband when he was young, man, oh, I love that. And what will you say? Let's it. Let's roleplay. Okay. Do it to me. Excuse me. Hello, miss. I just have to stop you and tell you, you look just like my late husband, we lost him very young and you look like just like him when he was a boy and I mean, I just I just need to look at your face for a second. It's so so handsome. Well, how late is he, miss? What time was your reservation? Connor. This is serious. I'm just kid. I'm just kidding. Mama. Um, how much money do you guys? What is going on with your? This is serious. Okay. I would want to. You're deflecting. You're deflecting with humor. I'm being very serious. No, this is an earnest. This is earnest. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I would want, I would want to hit it off with her and then have her leave me in her will. Okay. It's fine. Then start, okay, start over. Okay. I'll be earnest. You, I'm not going to do my part again, but you go into yours right now. Okay. Hey. Oh my gosh. Like, do you have any. No way. I get told I have a lot of doppelgangers. I hope he was handsome. Oh, he was so handsome. All right. You give me a kiss. Sugar. Okay. Here I, okay. Here I go. Oh my gosh, helps, helps, helps, how, how I can't even go for word to describe your, your lips. It feels so, um, it's been a complete and not our joke. They feel, your lips feel so saucy in my, my lips, I'm sorry, I mean, I don't usually get, I don't usually get this worked up outside in public, but I can't help it. Your lips feel like something I've never felt before, feels like a, a breeze, a, a vision from the past. I'm a mystery that I just can't put my finger on. I'm, bring it back, bring it back and give Papa another one, I'll be, I'll be your late husband. Come on in. Come on in, mama. Very good. Congratulations. You have just been put into the well. Oh my gosh. Awesome. So where do we go from here? We'll be in touch. Do you need my number or anything? We will be in touch. If it's meant to be, I will guess it. What's that from? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it. I don't think it's from anything. It is. It's, it's, it's got to be from friends. Sounds like someone Chandler would say, Oh, it's Ross. I'm sorry. I, that's, that is my biggest red flag is how much I would care for Ross. You do love Ross. That's my like, that's a family member of mine. You know what happened to me the other day? What? Wait, do people like give, you know what's, people, I was giving out my number because I, and this is bad because like this is why my someone found my wallet quote unquote, but I basically gave it my number and I gave out not my, not my real number because I couldn't get out of the situation that I was in without putting something into this person's phone. Okay. Yeah. That's not what happens. I type in a number and it's one off. They call me in front of me and they show me your, show me your phone. Okay. Well, at least you could be like, sorry, I was one off. Yeah. I, oh shoot. Wait. What? And I had to redo it and just bite the bullet. Yeah, are you receiving messages? No, I haven't yet, but I think that maybe they got the hint when I, you know, get the wrong number. Sorry to, like, I can't think of a transition at all, but I've been fostering a cat. Oh my god. Yeah. How's your new family member? So her birth name is Safron. Okay. That transformed into Lady Safron. That's good. But mostly we've been calling her because she doesn't really, she's, you know, cats take a minute to warm up. She has been spending a lot of time in my office, which we call conference room B. So we, she's between me and my friends, she's mostly just been being referred to as the woman in conference room B. And that's like all caps kind of, does that make sense? Like that's her whole name. Yeah. I get it. The young woman in conference room B. I get it. Yeah. I get it. But she is, she's so freaking cute. It's insane. Man, is she feisty? That girl bites your hand off almost if you're not careful. How did you end up with another cat? Because I was, like, I saw that she was available to foster and I was just like, I can foster her. Why wouldn't I foster someone? And I didn't think historically the girl cats that I've met, I've not connected with. And she's a young woman. So I was like, I don't think there's a risk of me keeping her, because I think I would like have a harder time if it was like a young, a little male tuxedo, for example. But I don't think you should have three cats. I'm not going to have three cats, but she has not quite yet warmed up to me. The way that the relationship that she has with John and Rob, I've never seen anything like it, that's family. Like the way that they, for four months, wouldn't go near each other. And if they did, it was extremely violent to them, keeping guard over her, nuzzling. All of them are nuzzling at once. The boys have stopped. The boys sleep with me every night. They have not slept with me for the past three nights, because they're busy guard, they're busy guard dogging, the woman in conference room B. Is this challengers? It's completely challenging. They're, I don't know, and I'm confused because they were gay. So now, they were gay and family vibes are romantic or what? They were gay out of necessity, they didn't have any, and also bisexuality is a thing. So who knows? Oh, right. But, it's just, it's remarkable, like, is she fixed? She's fixed. Okay. But like, John came into my room to cuddle with me in the middle of the night for the first time. I've not seen the guy. He's been so fixated on Sephiron. She meows from the other room. He goes running out of my arms into, to her, and I'm starting to get pissed. Oh, God, you have beef with Sephiron. Because it's like, I'm, who raised you? Who birthed you? Like, how much I've given you and you're going to go running when one other girl meows at you? Oh, my God. You're like a freaky, scary mom. It seems that way, doesn't it? Oh, my God. You're doing a Facebook post. It's like, this is my sweet, sweet, beautiful handsome boy. That is how I feel about my kids. And it's about, and it's about the, it's like a wedding post with like the, with like the bride cropped out. I'm glad they're being sweet to her, but it gets to a point. It's like, be sweet, of course, but like, don't make yourself too comfortable. Do you not make yourself too comfortable? Oh, my God, bro. That's what I want. I mean, the woman is sweet. She's a great girl. I have nothing bad to say about her. better. But yeah, boys definitely care for a pretty good bit. So. Oh my God, Rick. Oh, you, you're being mama bear right now. I, I am a mom of bear. Hello, mama. But she only will leave conference room beat when she thinks I'm not there. Like when I'm in my room. So I was complete. I went to get water in the middle of the night the other night. And she was just sitting in the kitchen. And then she immediately ran back to conference room B, but it was crazy to see her there. Oh my God, the young woman in conference room B, what are you, from conference room B? What are you doing in the kitchen? What, what are you doing in my kitchen? I should get lead guests in the home. The young woman from conference room B, I can't stress that enough. That's so good. But yeah, let me know if y'all if she might have a suitor that wants to adopt her, but anyone else, let me know. She's a very adorable cat that will it might take a minute to warm up, but who doesn't? That sounds like a movie, like a haunted movie, the woman in conference room, like the woman in the window and wearing black. Yeah, the woman across the street wearing the window in the back with the dragon tattoo as well. Yeah, her ankle, she's a complete and utter hoot. Oh, that. Did you see the venous from festivals happening right now? I did. And like the rock is there, looking just absolutely skinned skinned bones, which is kind of crazy. And in bones rock, I all I felt clean shave in Andrew Garfield, which did you see that? No, I didn't, didn't cover across my desk. He looks 13. Yeah, he doesn't really age. No, 42, 41. Oh, my God, his birthday's coming up. Did I miss it? He's a Leo. No, I think it's August 20 something. I need to be put away in a pretty significant way. Maybe. What is it? It's computer. Oh, I mean, it doesn't matter. I'll tell you on my phone. Well, I just want to say we're hitting that. I mean, these are all coming across my desk now where the people where they start doing these, I can say in standing ovations for these films. And it's like, like Amanda C Fred, like starts, it's emotional knife. Amanda, she's crying as she receives an 18 minute standing ovation. Can you think about how long a Katy Perry got to space and pack faster than the standing ovation? What do you do? That's like being sung happy birthday. What do you do? I would say that's good. Can you think about, can I, brook, listen to this? Ready? I'm going to wait. I'm going to do, I'm going to do 30 seconds right now. And I want you to think about being clapped and looked at for this. Do we have to act out the whole 30? Closer to your mic. Closer to your mic. Are we acting out the whole 30? And regardless, it will be 43 on August 20th. September 2nd. Okay, now think about that. Oh my God, it's not August anymore. It's September 2nd. Oh, I completely freaking missed his 42nd. Okay, we've got to. I just want to think about, I want you everyone to think about receiving what I just did, but multiply it by 36. That is crazy. Thank you for putting that in perspective. Happy to. All right, well, we can wrap it up. I need to, I need to re up on my use or in Exama cream. Okay, I've been picking my lips pretty good. But the way my body is beginning to completely fall apart. I have to make two separate darts for me today for my broken foot and my new rash. And it's like, will it ever end, you know? Closing time. Maybe I'll be thinking fondly of death. And then that's the time when I won't be getting a rash anymore or my foot won't be broken. But maybe on the other side, it's kind of nice feel something. Yeah, it's, it's always nice. To have a broken foot is to, is to, is to feel something and be present and be human and be human can be very beautiful. And I can believe everyone with that. I can feel gratitude while being bloated. That is, I am a man of, I'm a man of two edges of a sword. Not two wolves, tap dancing. And then I, okay, you guys, thank you so much for listening. Let us know if you want another episode. Feel free to be honest. And remember that, you know, the void. If you love something, you have to let it go. Okay. We'll see you guys maybe next week. Oh, also, Brooke and I have like the, Brooke, we have to talk about our, our thing we got. I don't know if we can. What's next week when you're here? Oh, it will be over. Oh, wait, wait, no, we don't, we are tomorrow. No, we can't talk about it. Oh, damn. Well, I guess, I get, okay, I would love it. We would love it if everyone paid attention to our answer. Yeah, I'm sometimes on day. If you can, well said. Okay. Well, I will let everyone go. I guess let's do anything else. No, thank you, though. Okay. Well, I could, I guess, I'll let everyone go. So we will see you guys. Thanks for having us. Thanks for listening. As always, I'm broke. I'm Connor. This is Brooke. We love having you guys here. Hi. And we'll talk soon and I'll let everyone go. And we'll talk to you soon. So I guess.