The WORST (& best) Dating Advice EVER | Hey Tablo Ep. 9

Today, we're back on Reddit, you know, the place where I was doing an AMA, but I got blocked on my own AMA. Today, we're looking at dating advice. The first one, uh, starts off strong. He wants to split the bill the day after. Do I even need to read this? *laughs* Hey, Tableau. *laughs* Yesterday, I, 24, female, went on a date with a guy, 25 male. He initiated the date, and he made the plans to go to a restaurant after he got home from work. Uh, when we got there, he insisted that we should start off with some cocktails before we order food and drinks. So we did. We had a nice time, and we talked a lot. He paid the bill, and he followed me to the train station. I traveled about two hours in total to meet him. I kept thinking about him paying for everything, and I told myself that if we go on a second date, I will pay for everything to make up for it, and we would be even. I sent him a text this morning, and thanked him for last night, and he sent a similar text back. Not until then, did he ask me if I got home okay? And I told him that I did. After that, I get a message from him where he asks if I could pay for my half of the dinner. Since it got more expensive than he originally thought, and that he, and I quote, is not made of money. So he, uh, this guy legit texted, I'm not made of money, you know. He's, here's the thing I will pay for my half. But I also said that I would have preferred to have this discussion beforehand, since I would have been fine with splitting the bill then and there. But what also bugs me is that I'm the one who traveled there by train, and he made all of the plans, and he's the one that asked me out. Honestly, I got a nick. What do you guys think? There's a promoted ad right underneath. But for some reason, it works. Swap token safely with Metamask. Wow, we're to even begin. I think the problem isn't that he asked for half the money. I think the first problem is that he didn't ask you if you got home okay. I think that's kind of crazy. If it was me, I like, when I say goodbye, I will, I will say when you get home, please text me that you got home safely so that I know you're safe. Either that or I will, I will like take you home or go with you, right? But if it's a two hour train ride, I can understand that he didn't go with you. And it's a first date. So you, you, you probably don't even want him to go with you. But I'm, I'm just saying, it just seems normal to, to be like, you know, text me when you get home. I think that's the first problem. Second problem is the, I'm not made of money. Like he, he, like literally, literally wrote it and didn't delete it. And he could have, he could have not sent it, but he still sent it, which is crazy. Like, I'm not made of money. It's fucking crazy to say. After the first date, I'm reminded of a time. It's totally unrelated and maybe not the same situation. But I once ate out with my friends during college. And there was this one guy that came out with us for the first time. Like he wasn't a part of our regular group. And we went to get like buffalo wings and like potato skins and stuff. And we, you know, we had a few beers and we had a good time. And then it was time to pay. And, you know, we were like, we were students. So let's split the bill, right? And we're doing it and he was like, you know, I didn't eat as many potato skins as you guys. Right? And at first, I laughed out loud because I was like, okay, it's obviously a joke, right? He's just fucking around. But he was like dead serious. And he, he started like calculating. And mind you, we didn't have like smartphones at the time. So we didn't even have a calculator. So he was just like calculating and we're at Stanford. He probably calculates a lot of things. So he was like, technically, I should be paying this much less than you guys. Because you guys ate this much and I didn't. Oh, okay, while I understand, we never hung out with him again. Let me just say, it's fucking motherfucker. Then he'd more skins, then he'd more, okay? Or don't come with us. This motherfucker was probably calculating as we were eating. What a, what a friend. Anyways, I'm reminded of that. At the time, we were also not made of money. We were made of other things that had nothing to do with money. And, you know, if he planned on going on a second date, I don't think he would have made any of these mistakes. Or he's just an asshole. Let me look at some of the comments. And then the man says, don't pay him. You traveled. He said he'd pay. He wants money for one of two reasons. He's not interested. He didn't get. He didn't get it. Okay, I think this is the one situation where it's okay to be as calculating as that guy who came out with us to eat potato skins. You should include the cost of the train ride. And then also like, you know, just getting ready. Everything that was involved in this night. And then include it with the bill. And then, and then split. Like, if you got new shoes or like new makeup for this, just include it all. And then split the bill and then see what he says. I would block him. He shouldn't set up dates. He can't afford. That's just crazy. Another person, as a man, this is a major red flag. I'm personally someone who always paid for meals when I invited someone on a date. I'm now happily married. But I also understand not everyone can afford to do this. So I'm super okay with the concept of splitting bills on dates. Yeah, me too. That shouldn't even seem weird to split a bill, right? And like I was saying with my friends, and that guy who, you know, was like a fucking math genius, the beautiful mind right there, he's going well hunting. Probably won the field's medal like a few years later. Okay, so he's a mathematician. And I was totally okay with splitting the bill. And that's what we all did. In Korea, we say touch pay. And that's what friends do. And, you know, on dates, it's totally normal. But to hit you like a day later, it's kind of crazy. And then the commentary continues. This feels weird like a beta switch. Like he hoped by paying you, you may reward him. And when you didn't, he decided to split it, which is super gross. Major red flag in my mind. We can never know if that was this guy's intention. Or like, you know, even if we don't go that far, though, it's red flags. You don't want to be with somebody like that. So, fuck him. I accidentally saw my date's hinge notification count. Hinge is a. How many dating apps are there? There's Tinder, Hinge. There's like a bunch of. Hinge is a new one. Is it newer than Tinder? Yeah, I feel the same. Okay, are you guys on it? Yes. Okay. I, 28, male, went out with a woman last night. It'd be funny if this was the train guy. We had been chatting for only a couple of days. But it felt like we were a good match. After we sat down by our table, we found a board game she's familiar with. But she had to look up the rules, because it had been a while since she played it. And apparently the rule book wasn't in the box. Man, we need to talk about the grammar on Reddit. I know, I know it's not like the New York Times or like the Encyclopedia of Britannica. But come on. As she takes her phone out and unlocks it, okay, we're in present tense now. I noticed at first she was on her Hinge app, which I thought made sense as she had been writing to me just before she arrived. Okay, so they met through Hinge, right? But then she closes it and I notice a big red mark on the app icon. It's like a notice, right? She sat on the opposite side, but regardless, I could still recognize the numbers were upside down. 15, 51, 150 plus. Do you get these requests when someone likes someone wants a date with you? Okay, so there's like 150 plus notifications. We sat there for three hours and enjoyed the game while talking and drinking, but obviously I could not stop thinking about what I saw. Let me be clearer that it's not my business if she chats with others while she is chatting with me. But what was eating me up inside was just the comparison to my own experience, which is the worst thing I can do. I only get around one match between a month or two. I've always been aware of the discussions regarding the dating ratio between men and women that women can, to a certain extent, get more matches on apps by default. And I know the majority of users on apps are male. But after seeing something I shouldn't have, I honestly don't know how to feel. After three hours, we stopped for tonight, gave each other a hug and went both our ways. I think we both had fun, but in the end, it didn't feel like there was a spark, which is fine. I've been on these apps for around 80 years now. I always enjoy meeting someone new, but it's me. making me reconsider if I should delete these apps for good. If something like this is really eating me up inside. Wait, what the fuck is eating this guy up inside? He's jealous that he doesn't have as many notice. What? (laughing) I thought this was gonna be like, he's upset that she's, you know, she's on the app talking to other people during the day. But he's jealous that he doesn't have 150 plus people interested. What kind of a weird mindset? I mean, okay. I don't know anything about dating apps. I come from a time before dating apps. Like before apps, you know? So back in our time, when you wanted to date, like you either got introduced, or like you had to just like serendipity. Had to happen by chance. Like you had to like, you had to go to a lot of places. Like go to school, go to college. Like you have to like, go get a job somewhere. You have to like go to a bakery. You have to go to like a bookstore pretend to read a little bit. Like you have to do something because you needed to throw yourself in the eye of like serendipity so that like Cupid can, his arrow can like, you know, get to you. So I don't know about like dating by Algo. I don't know anything about that. But like the fact that this guy is jealous about the number of notifications seems crazy. If I was in this situation, I was like, she has 150 plus notifications. I'd be like, but yet she chose to have this date with me. You know, yes, she's here. She could have been with 150 other people or 150 other situations and locations. But instead she chose to spend this time with me, right? But instead this guy is jealous. Well, I don't mean to be like shitting on this guy that wrote this post, but like if that's actually the issue that being jealous, I'm sure like he also is kind of jealous of like people to have more followers or get more views on whatever they post, get more likes. And I think it's just, see technology is the problem. Let me reiterate, like back in the day before apps, before dating apps, like we just simply did not know how unpopular we were. You know what I mean? Like we had no way to compare. We only knew our situation. We only knew that we were solo, that we didn't have a date, that we weren't liked. We didn't know how much the other guy was liked. The closest thing would be like some popular guy at the same school, who is obviously more popular than me. But other than that, there was no way to really compare. So even though we, you know, I was unloved for most of my life, I didn't really have an issue with it. There was nothing for me to compare myself with. So I think these apps are the problem. And social media popularity is just social media popularity. It's just numbers. It's not actual influence. It's not actual impact. It's just a number. Some of the most loved people don't even have social media at all. Maybe I should delete all my socials. You know, certain actors and certain musicians, they don't have social media. Like, I believe Kendrick doesn't really do social media. Jake Hall doesn't, maybe. Nah. (laughing) I need to promote this podcast. Okay, let's look at this one. Men use perfume. Trust me. Hey guys, I just wanted to share something I found out recently. I bought some coffee smelling perfume recently. It's just 'cause I was sick and tired of smelling like one of these things. Nothing, body order or three, some strange man body spray. I have never gotten so many positive comments on dates about how good I smell. From both men and women. And it wasn't even expensive. A big bottle was like 20 bucks or something. It's gonna last me like the whole year at least. People don't usually want you to smell like those crappy man smells. Like I literally had a bottle called army scent. That stuff did not make me smell like a damn coffee shop or a flower or a cupcake or anything good. It made me smell like badly masked sweat. Oh, and dude, women's deodorant instantly solve my nasty odor that appears after like two hours of wearing high strength men's deodorant. And their secret brand of women's deodorant actually lasts the whole day. I still get sweat stains on my shirts, but damn, it doesn't actually smell. (laughing) Tail DR, smell like something sweet or nice. You will instantly realize the difference on dates. I promise you. First of all, I wanna give this guy like a like for enthusiasm. (laughing) This was the most enthusiastic host I've seen like ever. - You wanna give it up vote? - Yeah, yeah, up vote. That's what they're called. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mr. Reddit. (laughing) I'm sorry, wow, you're very sensitive about that. Well, I think he's on to something. When I buy like shampoo or any product, any like cosmetic product, I will deliberately never buy the men's version. I don't wanna make a blanket statement, but what I'm saying is guys are probably less likely to even notice when something is not that great. And thus, they're not gonna take it back to the store. You're gonna be like, well, it doesn't smell like shit. (laughing) So I guess it's not that bad, right? But I live with my wife and my daughter. So I'm the only guy in the house. And I never really notice when a shampoo isn't that good. And I'll just be like using the shit out of it for like a month. And then one day I'll notice that it's gone. So I'm like, y'all bull, where's the shampoo? And she's like, I threw it out 'cause it's fucking terrible. (laughing) And I'm like, it was? (laughing) I've been using it for a month and she's like, you're the only one that's been using it. (laughing) So I got you a better one. And it's always better. (laughing) So do you know what I mean? So I will never buy like men's body wash or like men's whatever. Anything with men's on it, I will just not buy because it's like, I'm guessing the companies don't work on it too hard. (laughing) Like they can get away with a little more. So I will always buy the women's version. So I agree, probably women's deodorant is better than men's deodorant. Because for us, you know, as long as we don't totally smell like beasts, like literal hell, we're like okay with it. To the point where like sometimes I'm very sensitive to smell as well, but you don't want the smell that drives me the most insane is poorly done laundry when it's been in the water too long or something where they took it out too late. For some reason, always the guy who's wearing it has no fucking idea. (laughing) Right, I'm like, how can you not know? And we're like in a card together. Like how can you not know? And it's sort of like how smokers don't know how bad like cigarettes smell because they're so used to it. It's just like that. So men, use perfume. Going on a date with a woman who earns more than five times my salary, feeling nervous, any advice? She's a year older, late 30s, than me, and works as a senior partner at one of the big management consulting firms. Probably earning around 400 to 800 K per year. That's a huge range. (laughing) We met at the gym and she was actually the one who asked me out. She's pretty too. Okay. This person just posted this to brag. (laughing) Like what is the fucking question here? You ask for advice and you're like, (laughing) there's no dilemma here. He's happy as hell. (laughing) Here's one. Why don't you like nice people in dating? You know the saying nice guys and gals finish last, but why is this? From personal experience, I find overly nice people quite boring and insecure. Like they have very low self-awareness and believe abandoning their wants needs for you will make you love them. And it's this desperation that is a complete turn off. They don't care to connect with you, but to get validation from you. Almost like a parent to a child. So if you are a codependent, people, pleasers with no boundaries do not date. Build healthy self-esteem. Not to mention you will also become less vulnerable to attracting narcissistic abusive types. Okay. They ask the question and then end. concerted. I think we just like use nice people as like an umbrella term for a lot of different things that are not the same thing. Like people who can't assert themselves, who like just don't have an opinion, and we call all of that nice when it actually has nothing to do with like, you know, being ethically nice. Like a person that can't make any decisions, they want to go on a date. So, oh, sure. Like where would you like to go? And they can't come up with anything. They can like just decide on a place. That's not nice. That's just not able to make any, you know, choices. I think we call a lot of things nice instead of what they actually are. And I do agree about this though. Narcissistic abusive types are, they're not drawn to quote unquote nice people, but they will recognize when someone is a manipulative couple. So, if you don't want to be manipulated, don't be nice. And this isn't just for dating. Like there are a lot of people that are narcissistic and abusive. You know, a lot of parents are narcissists and we tend to not think of them that way because there are parents and we feel guilty and bad, but even that guilt that you feel might be something that they're manipulating. So not just in dating, but don't get manipulated. I don't know if it works the other way around. But like in my experience, like guys know that it's over when as soon as like the other person says, oh, you know, you're so nice. Like we know, like we instinctively know we've been friends-owned. If I think back, like there's always that one friend who comes back after like a date and we're like, so how did it go? She said, I'm like really nice and we're like, oh, you're fucked. It's over. Doesn't work the other way around too. Like if a guy says to you, like, oh, you're so nice, you have integrity. You're earnest. Okay. Guys don't use earnest. Man, just reading about dating is stressing me out. I'm so happy. I don't have to date anymore. I am actually losing my voice right now. I have never been more drained of energy than I have been now. Like this dating advice Reddit is crazy. It's like I just went on a bunch of bad dates. This vicarious like fucking pain. Oh, so here's one. Had a date last night. It went really, really well. However, she believes their earth is flat unironically. She also believes the universe is geocentric and that the sun and moon are the same size. Dating has been terrible for me recently. I know how hard it can be to find someone you get along well with. So where do I go from here? Okay, let's look at the comments first. Decide if you're okay with that level of intelligence. Run! But watch out that you don't fall off the edge of earth. Come on, my dude. She believes their earth is flat. You believe the date went well. You are made for each other. By the way, the person who posted this four years ago deleted their account. So they either were embarrassed by this or they fell off the earth. They got to the end of it. How does the OP know that this person unironically believes their earth is flat? Like, maybe it's a joke. I mean, I have some conspiracy theories as well. But like, you know, like believing in aliens wouldn't be that crazy, right? It's just, you know, whatever you do, you do or you don't. It's not like a deal breaker. But has anyone here met anyone that had like some wild beliefs? Rosemary's been strangely quiet. I mean, it's okay if you believe the earth is flat, like it's fine. We don't care. Is this about you? A lot of conspiracy theories are just conspiracy theories until they're proven true. And many have been proven true. So, you know, I don't just look at a conspiracy theory and say like, this is bullshit. Because what's more likely? Everything in the world is happening as it should and in a righteous way without any manipulation, whatsoever. Or people with power and authority and the resources to do so is manipulating our perspective and our, you know, perception of what is real and what is good and what is decent. Like, what is more likely? Obviously, the latter. So, I get people having some conspiracy theories, but some things, I mean, like the sun and the moon being the same size is just insane. So, until, because have we actually ever gone to the sun or the moon? We just had an uptick in subscribers. Not the crowd I was looking for, but we'll take whoever comes. Welcome to Hey Tableau. Please hit the hype button. Gentlemen, lower your bar for how awesome you have to be when you talk to women. They are more than happy to interact with a guy who is just a cool chill dude they can have a decent conversation with. If you pressure yourself too much, you will pressure her as well. You don't need to be James Bond. Oftentimes, she is happy if she simply interacts with a guy who isn't creepy. Take some of that pressure off yourself. Aim to be a normal guy who is genuinely interested in curious about her. Okay, this is terrible advice. Let me say why this is terrible advice because you're telling someone to be genuinely normal. If anybody needs to be told to be normal, to be genuinely not a creep. Like, what do you mean? I'd be happy to give you something more to. If they need tips on how not to be creepy, it's over. It's a lost cause. But also someone who acts like super awesome is really annoying. And this isn't just endating. Like, it's just in friend groups. Having somebody that just needs to be fucking amazing all the time. Like, I went to, you know, I'm flying to the moon soon. Like, you know, but okay, that's joke. But you know what I mean? Like, someone who's always talking about like some awesome, like unbelievable like thing that they are doing or working on or it's just exhausting. We're just gathered here to have some Buffalo wings and potato wings. If they're lactose intolerant and they get dairy with you, they really like you. Coming from a man who is extremely lactose intolerant and she wanted to get mozzarella sticks. Did you tell her that you're lactose intolerant? Did you tell her? You know, you, you can tell her. And if she understands and doesn't get the mozzarella sticks, then she likes you. Because even if she really wanted mozzarella sticks and you guys, you know, went there and then you're like, actually, I'm lactose intolerant. So I can't eat this with you. And she's like, oh, that's fine. We can go get something you want. I mean, why would you, why would you do this? If you're allergic to seafood or shrimp, please tell them instead of eating the shrimp. And then your, your hands are like huge. And then they have to like take you to a hospital, date is ruined. And then they feel guilty. Just tell them, you don't have to prove your worth by hiding the fact that you're allergic to something or that you're not comfortable with something. Tell them. Please. Did you do something similar on your first date with your wife? Well, no. Because that's not that that got taken out of context. Because I had decided to maybe try being a vegetarian right before I met her. And I had maybe spent like, you know, maybe like two days not eating meat. So I wasn't even fully a vegetarian. And then I met her. And I was like, how do I tell her that I'm, I'm trying this new thing. And she ordered me. So I was like, whatever. And I, I eat so much meat. Weed meat together. That's not the same thing. Okay. If I was allergic to meat, I would, of course I would have told her. If any girl gets dairy with me, she better be ready for some fucking nuclear farts. If she's okay with the fucking nuclear farts, then she likes you. Oh my god. Some of those dairy farts do be like hitting hard though. Every farts are crazy. This can be the answer to everything. Like if anybody asks me for advice on anything, I'm going to be like, she called me a nice guy. Is that a bad thing? Well, if she, if she's okay with a nice guy, she better be ready for some fucking nuclear farts, just excellence. I am a fan of the perfect sentence and he came close, he went, he went, F Scott fits Gerald on that shit. He didn't just say, she better be ready for some farts. She better be ready for some fucking farts. He was like, she better be ready for some fucking all caps, nuclear farts, okay? I love when someone has an amazing command of the English language, they don't waste a single like space. It's perfect words together. Oh my god. May I ask a question? What is a situation ship exactly? Is it like some or is it like a negative thing where like it's clearly a relationship but one of you won't admit it? I think an English ship has more of a negative connotation. Okay. It's a good thing. Some is a good thing. It's like, it's building up to a relationship, right? And I guess a situation ship is like, someone's not committing. Oh, okay. That's, that's interesting that it's a, it's actually the same thing but look at in a glass half full kind of half empty kind of way, right? Okay. Situation ships must be annoying, just, I don't know, just break it up. If I think back, if someone was in a relationship with me but they weren't fully committing the way I'm fully committing, they better be ready for some fucking nuclear farts. Oh man. You know, my daughter's listening to this right now and probably some of her friends. There's just like, what the fuck is wrong with your dad? I can't swipe past my ex. Every night I swiped through dating apps. We met on Bumble, but she unmatched me from after she ended things. But then yesterday I came across her on Hinge and I couldn't ex her. Well, people are busy. Multiple apps. Well, I know I shouldn't message her or like her, but I can't pass on her either. It's weird. Is Reddit supposed to be used like a journal? Because this is clearly someone's journal entry and I don't feel comfortable reading it. I feel like I'm, you know, I'm invading someone's privacy. Have you guys ever had like a crazy ex? Were you ever the crazy ex? It was really just a lot of gas lighting and narcissistic tendencies. We can't say gas lighting today. It means something else now, okay? He said something really stupid to me at one point. He says, I'm a narcissist, but in the original form of the word, he once said like he would like sleep with himself if he could, like he was really bad. What the fuck is he talking about? He's been sleeping with himself every day of his life. I sleep with myself every day. I wake up with myself. I shower with myself and I fucking nuclear fart with myself. Again, fart saved the day every single time. When someone really likes you, it's effortless. Just keep this in mind. So I'm guessing if they really like you, they text you right away or soon after, they will be excited to make plans to meet you. They'll flirt. Did I say it felt fart? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just mixed flirt and fart. I was like, they'll flirt. Flarts should be a word when someone farts to flirt with you. When someone farts in a cute way, when you're in a relationship, sort of like at the onset of a relationship and you're not close yet. You don't know if this is risky, but you let a small one go to show intimacy, to show that you are closer now. And it's sort of flirting, so that's a flirt. It's a fart used to flirt, to signal that you want to be closer to this person and be more comfortable with them. It's called a flirt. That's perfect. Wait, does that even exist for a flirt? It doesn't exist. We actually coined a term on Hey Tableau, the flirt. When you let out a cute fart, to get closer to someone, to indicate that you like them, flirt. I don't recommend it. Yeah, it's very risky. It's very risky. It's like a shard. Yeah, it's always risky. Anyway, it's back to this beautiful post, they'll flirt and ask you questions, they'll seem interested in your life. What they won't do is be unsure whether they're free, leave you on red, or wait hours to reply, not ask questions, and give you short replies. Dating should be fun, and with the right person it is, if you find it hard work talking to them, and they're always busy, move on, you deserve better. Okay. Well, first of all, we don't know that the you here deserves better. Let's just get that out of the way, because we don't know if someone deserves better. None of us know. We don't know who that person is. I don't really like this phrase, to be honest. We say it a lot, we say it to friends, right? I've said countless times to friends, you deserve better. But did I really mean it? Almost never. Anyways, this is true though. If you're trying to figure out whether or not someone really likes you, that in itself might be a problem. It shouldn't be that hard, like you should just know. And quite often people need to ask this question to themselves as well. They're so fixated on whether the other person likes them, or likes me, that they don't ask the more important question, the first question they need to ask, do I really like this person? And I've seen many cases where someone complains about their significant other, or the person they're dating, and when I'm listening, I see them as the actual problem, right? Like you don't even really treat this person well. Why do you expect them to? Like you don't even seem to be like genuinely into this person. Why do you don't want them to be like, you know, in love with you? That just makes no sense. So ask yourself if it's effortless for you to be good to this person and to be genuine to this person. Then, you know, worry about the next step, which is them reciprocating the interest. Some of these comments are great. No one is busier than someone who is not interested in you. But what if they're really busy? Like, what if they work at like, I don't know, NASA? They might be very busy. Let's look at some of these other comments. Oh, this I agree with. Something should be effortless, yes, but a successful long-term relationship will have its inevitable tribulations. Yes, dating should feel effortless, but a relationship can't be effortless. You have to put it in work. I see a lot of people, you know, being burned out of long relationships because they find it hard work relative to what it felt like at the beginning. And then they'll keep comparing themselves to themselves and fall out of love. But as somebody who's been married for like ages now, I can honestly say it's supposed to be hard work. Like just think of it that way. That it's not just hard work for you or your partner, it's supposed to be hard work for two people that were strangers to come together and share a space and share a world and share views, and share a future share crew. creating a child, share, creating memories together, this is all things that require hard work when you do them on your own. Like, is there a single dream that you've accomplished and turned into reality without work? Is there a single aspiration you had that just suddenly materialized into like absolute reality just by, you know, going to bed and waking up? No, it's, it all requires daily effort and sometimes you fall, sometimes you feel like it's not worth it, sometimes you feel like you're not worthy sometimes, you feel like this is just all pointless and you hate yourself, you hate your partner. This is all part of it. It's just think of it as something that's supposed to be hard and as long as you keep that in mind, you will find moments to be grateful for and to enjoy because even when you have a dream on your own, even when you have aspirations on your own and let's say like you want to be a world class athlete, the amount of work that goes into that, like we never see on TV. We only see the person crossing the finish line. We don't see the hours and days and months and years of hard work they put in when everyone else is sleeping, they'll wake up at like four in the morning and just fucking run, like miles and miles just to have that one shot, right? So all of those people, when they're doing it on their own, they know that it's supposed to be hard. You know like musicians or artists or like athletes, when you ask them what they look back at with like loving memory or, you know, the time in their life that they miss the most, a lot of them will mention their come up. Like they miss the first, like the early days when they were making their first album. The moments where they had to like, you know, take the subway to the studio and like, record really fast and leave because you know, the longer time you spend there, the more you have to pay. And just like the times that you were with your like, bandmates just eating one cup noodle together and that's all you could eat that day. So like, you know, you're like fighting over who gets the last bite of something. And just, those become beautiful memories. So I believe, you know, there's no reason that relationships are indifferent. If you, if you just keep in mind that it's supposed to be hard and you stick through it together, those will be the days you also miss the most because maybe that's where love happens. Like that's when love actually happens. This is a great post to be ending on. And I'm not gonna mention anything else we talked about or the words we coined, because I want to end on that beautiful note, it's supposed to be hard. I hope everybody meets someone that's good for them. They don't have to be destined for you. I just, someone that's good for them. Regardless of how you date, like if you use an app, if you, you know, get intro to someone, I don't know how, you know, the young people do it these days, but stay safe is all I gotta say. Always double check, never just believe what anyone says. Be very, very, very, very, very careful. Please, it's a crazy fucking world. And I want everyone to just, it doesn't matter if you stay unloved, but it does matter if you stay unsafe in any way. So, fighting. - Hit Tableau. (laughing)