THE WORLDS UGLIEST BABY! -You Should Know Podcast-

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Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services, and chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required, terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Asian O'PiCas episode 185, Round of applause, please. 185! [Applause] Hey everybody, welcome back to the Asian O'PiCas episode 185. If you're new here or if you haven't already, you can click below the video, you can subscribe, but isn't pressed? You're wrong. If you leave a more below that Asian comment section, it's just a fulfillment with your own name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go and fill that out. Get your good karma. We are almost at 1 million subscribers, so get your extra great karma by hitting that subscribe button. Share this podcast with five people right now, and if you do, I'll fly to your hometown, give you a smooch, and grub your dog. How about that? Send it over on DM. How about that? Now, I also want to say, the promotion is over for the 50% off the Koala royalty and boy oh boy did y'all love it. Thank you and shout out to all the new members of the Koala Club. I hope you enjoy it over there. [Applause] We have received so many high value, so many nice beautiful messages about the Koala Club. Some of you are like, I was skeptical because a lot of these other patrons are just like boring like bonus clips. Y'all have like a whole network over there, so thank you. That's what we try to do. And if you haven't joined the Koala Club, it is never too late. Go and join the Koala Club. See what all the hype is about over on the Koala Club as well. We have the Payton versus Cam World Tour Live show still available for purchase. Thank you again for all the nice comments on that. We work so hard. The documentary is coming out soon. It is in production and the final stages. So be on the lookout for that Koala Club will for sure get to see it. First, guys, we love you so much. We have a new YouTube channel coming. A lot of things are coming for YSK and it is all because of you. We love you. Now on to the rest of the episode. [Applause] You should know podcast. We gotta go out on scale back in the studio. Oh, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, go ahead, say it. No, say it. No, I can't. It's way too early. Okay, it's really an episode for a bliss. I'll say it later. It's a big bleep. Okay, it's a big bleep. Big bleep. Do you give me permission? I'll rip it right now. A permission. Good morning fat girl. Yeah, it's all that boom, boom, boom, down, that boom, boom, boom. That's a great day, good, yeah. [Applause] Rostaff, all right, lick them, all right. Okay, all right, here we go. Let's calm down. We started off way too erratic and sporadic and erotic and neurotic. The brain, neurons, neuropathy, neuropathy. Why do people watch us? Because we're more honest. Yeah, can I be honest? Can you stand, please? I hate when we start the episode of New Off the Mic, we're shorts I've ever seen. Sit back there. Thanks, that's okay. It's okay, thanks. I'm glad that makes you feel good. It makes me feel terrible, but I'm glad it makes you feel good. It's okay. I'll do it, yeah, just got him. Stand harder on him. He's been, how much? Hard earned money on him. Oh. Not gonna, not gonna put the, um. Probably, no, tell me the price tag of those luxurious shorts. Are those actual go-yard? No. Oh, they're knockoffs. They're fake. Yeah. Oh, did you get them from. Yep. Mmm. Yeah. How does that happen? I, I, uh. Everybody, welcome back to You Should Don't Plug As We Got Co-O's, Cam. Cam, you started singing? Wait, what the hell? You started singing the "Rost of Farion" stuff like the Jamaican thing. Real bad PTSD with me and Jamaicans. Lineage? No, means, well, I'm not Jamaican. Well. Have you. What? I'm saying there's a chance. Expo, this is. Your mother's black. Do you know where her, do you know where her ancestry tree. Lies, or follows, or leeds, or leeds. Leeds, too. Oh, your mother, so your mother, all of your mother's ancestors were born in Austin, Texas. Oh, I don't know. That's my point. Well, I do know my parents are related due to slavery. Yes. And because, and I, and I got brought back up to me because I went back to Austin this weekend and there was, uh. And I got to try Lyle here because my mom's still mourning. There was a obituary on the, on the, um, on the table in the living room. Black one, black lady. It was her favorite aunt, recipes on Bessie. Aunt Bessie's like, stop. All right. Aunt Bessie's last name was Harden. Okay. But she's black. My, whoa, that is a problem. And you see, so now it's a real close. Now, she just transitioned to a better place. I didn't know. I, the wires got crossed the tad bit too much. And I saw, I saw my brother talking to a corner of a wall by himself and I was like, make sense. I was like, that's, now that's when the wires get crossed. That's when that happens. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That's when you, that's when you plug that little three, that little two-plump. Sorry, one more time. What? That's when you plug the two-prong outlet into the three-plump. No way. There's no way we're having this hard of a time. Hey, man, whoa. Do we need a restart? I think, I think this is a valid restart. No, no, no, no, there's no need. There's no need. I'm here. BAP! Okay, let's stop. Let's stop. It's getting too much to a point where we're not even being, we're not even. I'm good. Apparently ours and Ells are very close to each other. Yes. And I'm messing up. No, Preston did a 23 in me. They brought it back to it inconclusive. Because, because of the relationship. Yeti, what do they mean, inconclusive? No, but I don't think 23 in me accounts for, I don't think they account for 15 wides. Okay, dude, let's calm down. I'm not. You're not calm. No, no, no. You've literally, in the matter of four minutes, you've spoke on slavery, ancestral roots. Can I be honest, real, real talk, please, you know, take a breath. That's what you need to do. Can I be honest? Yes. When I asked, before we started recording, I said I went to the bathroom. I didn't. I went to my car and turned on the air. Real powerful. Put my face in it. I was having a panic attack. But I'm back now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I couldn't find, I couldn't forget it. Why? Oh, dude, I don't know. Oh, no, oh, we got to, oh, we got to unwrap you. Yes, for this morning. Some of you were like, "What is going on with you?" If you were like, "Put your fingers in your shirt." Let's first step. What is happening? What's on your mind? Why are you having a panic attack? I don't know, it just kind of happens. Not this frequently. I don't argue this has never happened. No, really happened. No, no, this on a recording day, right before your record, you never hit the car for some AC. No, I, I haven't. Normally, I'll just thug it out. But as I'm getting older, I think my power is going away. Like my power to like, "What the hell did it?" It's slowly dwindling. Why are you anxious? You are in a room that you have built. This is how it works. You just kind of happens. I would, no. No, it happens. I see how to tread lightly. Because you're about to get up saying, "If you honestly go within yourself, you can figure it out." I didn't, that's why I went to the car and put air on my face. And I'm fine now. I'm good. How was your week, Bubba? My week was normal. It was baby every single day. We had family come in. That part was fun. Now, something did happen to me at the gym, not to me. But something happened to the gym that I don't agree with and I don't appreciate. You been going to the gym? Fair question. Hey, it'll come, it'll come. It'll come, just wait. Just wait, watch this. What? Oh. Oh, I'm going to the gym. I'm going again. I already worked out today. I'm going again just for your punk. You go to the gym, leave the shorts. Now, what happened at the gym? That was so traumatizing to you. I go to a gym where people go. I'm going to give you, where there's five people because you do that so you don't get visually sped up. Oh, my God. Yeah, try it again. No, I got to rough. Try it again. Oh, it's a rough. Try it again. OK, no. See, God knows my heart. God knows my heart and my tongue. Yeah. If I'm going to verbally cost you, he just hits people and stuff. I go, I just can't get it out. So what happened at the gym? I met the gym. I go through the whole workout. And at the end of the workout, sometimes I'm already sweaty. Before I leave my hell, let's get some extra sweat. Let's go to the sauna, right? So I go in the locker room, ooh, what? - Sonas are gross to me. - Sonas are lit. - I'm not a sauna guy. - Now when people are like 83% naked in sauna, why are you doing that? - Oh, that's a kink. - Yeah, no, 100%. - If you get naked in the sauna, it's, that is legal way of being a creep. - That is, that is, that is absolute like, now there's been a full naked man. - Yes. - Because these are the sucks, so they're not, the public sauna is the infrared ones. - Yeah, cool bougie. - Yeah, I don't want, the infrared saunas in each locker room. So there's only guys in here. So there's most of those in there and just, hits that old meme. - CJ's favorite. - Yeah, oh God, CJ, clear that bitch out of there. - Oh my God, they'd go, whoa! Anyway, Patreon knows, I go in the sauna. - Yeah. - And I'm in there for about, let's say 10 minutes, very slight on my phone, I get out before anything overheats. Now when I'm leaving the sauna, a guy walks past me in the locker room, backpack on, cart heart, like a actual cart heart, not like a branded, like a food truck. - He does construction, yeah. - Yeah, he does construction in the winter. - Boots, boots, all that shit right. - Glad you said winter 'cause water wind, not winter, just going under fall. - So he walks past me, I think nothing of it, you clearly have a blue collar job, you're getting ready for the gym. Now, this is one of the days that I got ready at the gym before leaving. - Okay. - I go take a shower, come back, get changed, all that, I go in front of the little mirrors, I'm putting on my little creams, putting on my moisturizers. - No you do not. - You put on moisturizers and creams on your face. - In a locker room. - In a locker room? - Yes. - That might be the most insane, I've ever heard of in my life. - How is that insane at all? - That's insane. - I'm doing it in a locker room. - No, no, no, that's weird. That's weird. I have a whole theory about people. - How is that? - It's so strange. - They literally have two hair dryers that do not leave for people getting ready for work. - There's no, in the men's locker room's hair dryers? - Yes. - Well, you know, and that's fine. And I'm not a judgmental man, whatever you choose to do. - There's vanity section. There's two mirrors with two sinks, and that is the section of getting ready. - I've just, I've had some wild experiences in men's locker room which I'll say after you're done, but I've never seen a man put on creams in T-zone clothes. I've never seen that in a locker room. - I'm putting it on beef towel while I'm getting ready. - And I don't even know why is that so weird. - It's so weird. - What is weird about that? - 'Cause I'm insecure. - It's weird. - It's weird for you. - I'm in like my primal man thing. That's like the only like, to me, a real man takes care of the skin. - I know, but that's like the only like non-super liberal point I have on like men's doing, you know what I mean? I'm like, "Creams in the men's locker room." - But boy, if I'm gonna do it at the house, I'm doing it there. I'm like, "Who's looking?" I gotta get ready to go. - I'm not saying that I'm right. I'm just saying to me, it's weird. That's not weird. You, oh, you need to just let, I feel like there's so many things you can just let loose. - But okay, I imagine, be you, for you. - 24 seconds. - You're not gonna have to tell me that. - Apparently not. - Okay, that's the only point if you have, and you got to understand. - The picture that's painted in my mind of you putting on creams in the mirror in a men's locker room, I imagine, you ever seen Mr. Krabs without a shell on? - I'm fully close. - No, no. - I imagine like a big lunch lady. Like a thick lunch lady. Like then, I just see you. - And the back of you, it's like, like I could lift a party up and there's snacks in there. And then that, like a bunch of loose hairs had- - I literally look like this. - Yeah, but that's all I imagine it looks without the head on. Without those bad shorts. - Anyway, I'm doing my creams, my moisturizers, my collagna, my beard. - Yeah. - You're not allowed to see it. - Jesus, I'm doing all that. And out of my peripheral, as you like to call it. - Yeah, right there. - The guy went into the sauna. I did not know that, I was assuming he was getting off. He leaves the sauna. - No way. - The exact same way he walked in. The backpack is on it. He is sweat through his jeans. He is in construction boots. He has a, I'm gonna say this again, a legitimate cart heart on. God knows how many layers are under it. And he was in there for every bit of 15 to 20 minutes. - At that point, when does law enforcement get involved? - That is why I said, I do not like this and I do not agree with it. - Dude, that is, at some point, you got to make a formal complaint to the front office because not only is it an adventure to you. - Very much to make yourself. - Yes, to him as well. He might be, that might be so sabotaged. - You're trying to sabotage, yeah. - One of the best part? - What? - I'm getting ready. I finally do my last little cream. Whatever was, cologne. All right, check. I'm good to go. I'm walking out, bro, it's right behind me. Okay? Right behind me. - Literally, literally dripping sweat. - Yeah, of course he is. - We both walk out. - He just showed up. - He showed up, saw us for 20 minutes in full clothing. Never even took his bag or shoes off. - Yeah. - And leaves. - Dude, honestly, who is that guy? That's Bane. Bane is in there. - That guy stops crime here. - No, he either starts crime here. - He creates crime. He is crime. That is, Bane lives in that house. - The crime rate has gone up because of him. - He is, and I'm not kidding. Like, he kind of scared me, bro. - And he has that, those looks where he's just like, you just don't want to really want to put that guy. - Yeah. - I'm afraid of him physically, but it's like, you push his button on the wrong day. He might be pushing a button of his own. - I feel like if you would have saw you putting on those creams, you would have hurt you. - Probably. - Yeah. - I'm like, man. - That is crazy. - I go, oh, set up a glass. - You're dripping sweat with the bag on. - I've always been kind of weird about public gym lockers, because I remember. - No, you're like, you're weird about it. - You're scared right now. - So scared about it. - Why? - Okay, because the first time I went into a men's locker room, it was at a rec center. That's where we serve our youth basketball practices. Right? I went into a rec center, and I used one of those locks with that turn, but you had to bring your own from home. - Yes. - So I brought my own, I forgot the key, embarrassing. You know, I forgot the key code. I forgot what the thing was, and it was very embarrassing, right? I was super excited to use this lock, forgot the code. Now, second time I went in there, it was for basketball practice, right? In basketball practice. This time, my parents dropped me off of basketball practice. I never did that. They would always come and watch. - I feel cool when you just get dropped off. - Oh, okay. - No, I have an anxious attachment. I have an anxious attachment. So when my parents would leave, I really had to stop myself from crying. - Oh, I think I'm a loser then, 'cause I think that shit was lit. - If I got dropped off at the door, and I got to walk in at 10 years old by myself, I literally thought I was a (beep) but in reality, it's like my parents didn't love me enough to watch my practice, and they had something better to do. So they dropped me off, and I rode back home with Coach David. (laughing) - Oh, my God. - So, yeah, I mean, that was a hard truth when you actually realized it. No, that's sad, but no, my parents actually loved me. So it hurt when they didn't support it. - I'm just kidding, at least I'm like, I'm kidding. - Well, I remember, I went into the locker room, right? And it was evening-ish. - Okay. - I walked into the locker room. There's a lot of steam in the locker room. Like a lot of hot steam was hotter in the locker than that day. I'm bent over, like I'm sitting down on the bench, laced enough. I'm lacing up my basketball shoes, and in my peripheral, just some white-- - Yeah, it is, yeah, it is, he's 65 or so. - Just, oh my God, he has grandchildren. - Yeah, and I look up, and it's a-- It is an elder man with a gut. Just white, the whitest hair is going down. - He's like, he's like, what position you play? (laughing) - You're putting your shoes on, he's like, he's like, I'm dead, you're-- - Yeah, free throw. - And I was like, I was like, shooting guard. (laughing) - Oh, no, no. (clapping) - Oh, no. - He said, you might be a shooting guard, but let me show you my power forward. (laughing) - Oh my God, dude. - What, no, you hit it on the head. That is people's legal way to be free. - To be a free. - Like, there's no way he would stay in front of me. - Why are you naked? - You're like, hell, if anything. - I just don't, that's the thing. Like, you're choosing to get naked. It is either this alpha complex you have in your own brain. You wanna show you, 'cause you're a creep. Or, you just like being naked, around a fucking guy. And it's like, none of them are illegal. - Yeah. - Just leave your boxers on. - You shouldn't be naked around strangers. - Bear with me. - Don't be naked around strangers unless they sign up to see you naked. - Exactly. - I signed up to lift at this gym, not to see white meat. - Yes, no. - And I signed up for that. I would not go here if I wanted to see white meat. I wouldn't go here. I'm going here, 'cause I want to hit a lot of races. - Let's see white meat. - Maybe a sauna. I don't wanna see, like, why is that such a hard concept? And you're not, you're the first part. I guarantee the women don't do it. I guarantee there's not just naked people walking around in the women's locker room. It's the creepy guys. It's the creepy, the creepy men. I think we need like a third co-host. It needs to be like a woman that goes to the gym. - And we can just, we can like, get the woman's perspective on things. - No, I'm not. - I can't say that on any platform. - Please don't. - Please don't. But speaking of locker rooms, lasting on locker rooms, whenever I was playing high school basketball, I don't know if this was the same for you. You told that hilarious locker room story about-- - Oh my God. - It was one of the best locker room stories of all time. But did you all have shower competitions in your high school locker room? You competed. - I didn't participate because my manhood, that way was like, it was not impressive. - So I didn't-- - Whoa, whoa. - No! - Whoa! - Whoa! - Whoa! - No, I don't know, we didn't compare that. It wasn't it's size, dude. - No, you said it on me, you said it on me, you said it on me. - You said, I wouldn't even make the podium. Really, like, there's some, I mean, there's some guys on me. - No, no, no, no, no. - What? No, no, no. - And it was a flu group. - No, we were like this. Like, look, and that wasn't the game. - You're like, "John!" - That wasn't the game, but it was definitely like, to get a ticket to play the game, you wanted to be somewhat impressive like that. You know what I mean? But the game was, somebody from home, like somebody would bring home. Somebody would bring like soap from home. - Oh, the. - What? - The soap on their head continuously? - No, no, no, no. - Oh, we did that. We drove this one kid crazy. - He was like. - No, he quit the team. He quit the team. I'm not kidding. He quit the football team. - Really? - He quit the program. - Because he had put too much shampoo on his head? - But it was like a daily thing, borderline bullying. - And I do feel apologetic, but it wasn't just me. It was a whole crew. - That is actually the definition of bullying. - That's why I went to the point where he apologized to him right now. - No, I'm sorry. I'm not going to say his name, but you're. I'm sorry, Shane. - I was just kidding. - No, it was all of us. But it also. - That doesn't make it better. - That makes it actually worse. - No, no, no, but it was also everybody's what I'm trying to say. - It wasn't the whole team just put shampoo on him. - And if you took a shot, you say that, but you all definitely gave Shane some extra poo. - No, no, he just, he never defeated himself. - It was like an easy list. - This is making me sad. - I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Not like. - I wasn't even the main guy. - Let's go to my story. - I'm paying the team. - Let's go back to my story. - Go back to my story. - And now. - That bad. - So, what somebody would bring soap from home, like a huge like Sam's size, like body soap. And we had a shower where we're all in this like one room and the shower heads were on the wall, right? Everybody was facing the wall, but if you turn inward, we're all looking at each other, right? So, everybody would leave the shower, right? And then, whoever, we had two guys a day. Two guys would start on one wall. The rest of the team would soap up the locker room floor, right? And it was literally like a like a soap party like in the Hollywood Hills. It was so much soap. And then, you paying one time. And it was, that was a competition to see who would get to the other side. Now, I never participated. I watched one game and then somebody cracked their head on the wall and I was like, I shouldn't be watching this. Isn't it crazy that after that, we'd go to physics. You, you would buy general admission to watch two naked teenagers. I was a teenager. You're also a teenager. Let's try and quickly put that out there. I was in the same grade. You bought general admission to watch two naked peers of yours. Slide on a disgusting floor inside of a communal shower. And that is what y'all were like. Yeah. You are a, y'all, there's some in the water and flugable. They're, I'm convinced you should know podcast. You, oh my God, you said that just brought me to a locker story though. Ooh, that's, that's rough. That brought me to a locker room story with the friend that you know, I won't say his name. We got 20 minutes on locker rooms today, boys. This, uh, the, forgetting your combination. This is an eighth grade. We're literally a, like the, uh, B team. It's a halftime. We just did our shooting around. We're going back, like putting on your shoes and your jersey, like legit about to play. Yeah. My friend goes to his locker. He cannot get it open. He, he, he, he forgets his own code. Yeah. And it, these are like, even the lockers are like those really old school, like steel. Yeah, you have the bags. Yeah, but you're not getting it. Yeah. He goes, all right. Nothing. He goes, okay. And he's freaking out. And I'm just mean, I'm like this. My shoes on and starts punching his locker and he's hitting that really, like getting pissed. Yeah. He has this whole debacle with himself two minutes before our game starts and he sits down. He let it go. It's just basketball. It's just a sport. No one even needs it. It's just a sport. It's just a sport. Why can't I remember my code? It's just a sport. I'm on the team. I practice every day. I don't need to play though. Can't get my shoes. It's just a sport. He can't get in, he goes, he starts punching his locker. His hand, left hand, which he was left handed, starts bleeding. No. So it's to the point I'm kind of scared. At this point. I'm like, I'm scared. I'll try. I'll try. I find coach. Get you key. The fact that you're still in the locker room is beyond me. I'd have been gone. Not only am I literally right next to him. Like our lockers were touching. I'm in my locker. I put it on my fucking duty sleeve. I've been getting my skull candy on, getting all the right rink, getting all the right wrinkles in my sock, and he's punching his locker, trying to open it. And it gets to the point. The whole time our coach clearly has a key, because it was like school-issued locks. Our coach comes out, opens his locker, looks at him, he goes, what the fuck were you thinking? And he is the kid, I'm not going to say his name, beat red, blood on his hand. Poor kid, man. He was our starting power forward, left handed, goes out to the game, and literally takes six charges that night. It was incredible. He's definitely the guy who takes six charges in a game. Oh my God. Oh my God. He has the record. He has the record for charges in a year. And you know who it is. I'm not going to say that. I know exactly what it is. As soon as you said it, I knew exactly what it was. Yeah. And it makes sense. Because I saw him jumping around in a club, and I was like, that guy is on drugs. Yep. Here we go. But yeah, dude, lockers. Yeah, lockers was the greatest. Okay. Scratch that. Okay. I have a question for you. Okay. Okay. Now, you've faced time to me this past weekend, roughly at midnight, some call it 12 a.m. Okay. Right? So not only was I asleep and you ruined it, but I had to answer. So I answered the phone, and you are, there's a couple of drinks in your system. I can tell when that left eye gets a little loose, tongue starts getting real fat. Yeah. Just real fat. Hey, what's up? Yeah. I go, oh God. I go, what bar are you at? Yeah. Okay. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. You were, you were in a building that had a man that was. Come on, dog. Pretty one, man. No, no, no. Pretty naked. Stop. On a, on a rope in the center of the dining hall. How the f**k do you see that? It was in the background? Yeah. Yeah. Clearly in the background. You really said, hey bro, what are you doing? And I was like, a bed in bed, sleep, you go, all right, loser and you're hung up, but behind you. There's a, there's a naked man on a rope and you have to defend yourself. That's all I'm gonna say. I know there's nothing to defend. There's nothing wrong with it. And you had a good time. There's nothing to defend. He didn't get enough time on the stage. Can't I say, yes, I went to an establishment, right? I went and, but no, what the f**k? I went to this club and it was a normal club. The middle of the club was hollowed out and I was like, what the f**k? It goes on in the middle of this club. Now, I'm, I'm at the club, I'm drinking, having a good time. This man in a full like sweatsuit, like Nike tech sweatsuit with beautiful flowy hair, prances by me and bumps to my shoulder and he goes, excuse me. And I said, no problem, queen. And I'm like, I'm looking at him and I'm like, that's not club attire. Sure is it? How did he get into this? And I look at him, leaving lower, no shoes, no socks. And I said, well, we let a homeless man in here. And how does that homeless man own a Nike tech? That's going to run you 280 after tech. Well, all of a sudden, this shoeless homeless man jumps into the middle of this hollowed out club. Two f**king ropes just drop down from the ceiling and I go, what the f**k? I go, the lights, kooosh, hit him, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm like, oh, the homeless shoeless man begins to take off the Nike tech and I'm like, we got us a stripper, boys. I'm standing there like this, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. He like, and I, I guess he had a ripaway pants. He rips the f**k pants off. I've never seen a Nike tech ripaway. He's in a thong, impressive bulge. He's grabbing the ropes. And when I say this motherfucker is doing flips and rotations, he's swinging, like he's, but the thing is he's good at what he did. He was swinging across the club. He was like, it was like, you know, it's C world when Shamu sprays the water on the people in the splash zone. You were in the splash zone. I was in the splash zone, but he was making his way with his foot like this. He was like this. And he's, I swear to God, I saw his cuticle right here. He was going right. He was like, what the f**k do it again? I was like, oh, hello. And he was going around the whole club. I'm going around this motherf**king warm up. He didn't give a stretch. He probably just slammed three shots in the guy's shoeless in the club is literally a felony by itself. And now all the girls in the club are like, yes, queen, like they're going on. They love it. And I'm in there. I'm, I'm, I'm clapping them up too. This guy's a f**k athlete. All the guys in the club are like this. Come on, man. They're like this. Like, oh, man. I'm like, enjoy the athlete here. This is Prime LeBron. He isn't a contract here. He only does like 45 seconds of this. He gets off, puts the, the Nike tech back up. And then they bring up like these naked go-go girls and they're just standing doing this naked. Yeah. They're naked. All the guys are like, yeah. I'm like, bring the f**k. Bring you on. Bring the f**k. Bring the f**k. He's got George the Jungle. - You did something with that one. - Georgia that chose-- - Elite callback. - Elite callback. - Yeah, that was my dad. - So happened. - Not only does it sound like you were in a sketchy spot. Very important question. - Ratio, right? - Mm-hmm. - Fellow people in the club? - Yeah. - What was the ratio of women to men? - Ninety-ten. - Ninety women to every ten men. - So now, and I figured I was thinking 85, 15, 90, 10, so maybe 95 lot of women. - What made you go there? - How did you end up at a 90% female club with a naked, Nike tech athlete, Tarzan, George the Jungle, Robeswing, and Cuticle? - The bouncer at the front compliment in my shirt. - Dude, this is-- - I went in. - I'm an easy lick. - No, this is two weeks in a row. You are an easy-- - Dude, if someone tells you something nice, they can have the world, the world is their oyster. Dude, that's a nice shirt. I'm going here. That's all it took. - I mean, you're literally on a famous street for clubs and bars every 10 feet. And a guy goes, "Nice shirt, bro." You go, "Oh, it's over." Just walk right in. - I'm an easy lick. Dude, and honestly, I do have a story from what happened in Austin. A lot did happen, but I have one story. And I read a lot of comments saying, "Payton, stay out of malls." Like a lot of bad things happen to you in malls. Well, another bad thing happens to me in a mall. - No, no, no. - Wait. - I don't know. - And this is like, I went to a very nice mall. I went to the nicest mall to try to avoid like something bad happening to me. - Oh. - Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Let's hold our pussy. Pussy pants real quick. You went to the-- okay, let's break this down. You went to the nicest malls. - Yeah. - To avoid the possibility of something bad happening. - Now, my context, close, and you put those together. You went to the best of the best to get rid of us-- - Regular fucker. - Yeah. - Nope, that's exactly what I said. Yep, I stayed in affluent area. Now, now I'm joking, I'm joking. I go, "Oh my god, dude, I don't know I'm joking." - Good plan. - So I was in the mall, right? The nicest malls. - I was in the mall. And since Malachi has been around, I've had this thing with looking at babies. Like, dude, I love babies. I used to always think they're little weird goblins. But now I saw your son, now I see the beauty in every baby, not every, but a lot of babies. - Not every boy. - It's like every boy focused. - Some people should put the hood over the stroller on their baby. - Oh, yeah, it's true, though. - I mean, there's like, okay, God bless all parents and babies, if they're ugly now, which some are, they get cuter, hopefully. There is some babies, though. You really want that quick hit of dope, I mean? No, seriously, you see that little stroller, you're like, oh, God, dude, it's been a rough day. Almost got fired. Let's just go look at this baby. And you just see a grip. - Yeah. - I mean, and it is, you are now in a worse mood. - Yeah. - It's literally a jump scare. You're scratching your testicles. - You're scratching your testicles. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't know. I had a panic attack earlier today. I'm not doing well. - Now, I was at the mall, right? - Nicest malls. - How was shopping around? - Yes, nicest stores. - And I was in an all-male store. This store is just male clothing, right? But there was a woman in there with the baby stroller. Now, that's fun. She could be buying for her husband or son. Boy, for whatever. - Anybody, cousin. - She's had it. - Anybody. I'm watching her push this stroller, right? But her eyes never went down into the stroller. Keep that in mind. Her eyes never went down to the baby. - Not once. - The cop was fully covered. Ugly baby, I was assuming. - Assuming Gremlin. - And I was like, I appreciate that for the general public. We don't want to see the Gremlin. - We don't want to see that horn tail. - If you're not. We don't want to see that little thing. Keep that lizard. Keep it away, right? - And now, this woman, her face in her head was small. (laughing) - It's important how I'm saying this. - Her face in her head was a small lady. There's a small lady, short, small face, small head. Right? But it's important, I say that. But her, but her, but her, but her, she was wearing the biggest jacket I've ever seen. And it was like a leather jacket. A big leather jacket. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, is this like a stack of six year olds in here? Like, what is this? - Space jam monster. - Yeah. - And I was like, and I kept my honor. Because the way she was looking at clothes, normally when you look at clothes, you have an idea of what you're going to get, right? You have an idea of what you're looking for. There's no way you're gonna be looking at suits in, denim shorts, in the same trip. You're not doing that. - She was looking at like vest, like suit vest on a three-piece suit. - Three-piece suit. - Yes. But then she was also looking at like Nike trainers. And I was like, oh, what is she doing? - Yeah, what store are you in at that? So I'm seeing her go. I, it's like two minutes I'm in this store. I lose her. We come back around. She's wearing a different bigger jacket. - Oh, no. - And I'm like, what the fuck is happening with this lady? - Oh, no. - I follow her, because that's what I do. - Oh, yeah. What are you a neighborhood cop? - Yes, well, no, 'cause I'm just, - I'm a follower, protect us all. - I'm just interested. - Okay. - Now, I'm following her. She goes to a different jacket. I was like, maybe she stopped for winter. - No, yeah, at this moment. - I watch her try to put on this jacket over the new jacket. It didn't fit. She opens up the stroller. I said, she has like a goodwill level of Legos. And that, like, she went to the Lego store in this mall and like stacked up Legos. And now she's throwing that jacket in there. She closes it. Grab is a hat on the way out and leaves. No censors in this mall. That's what happened. - Shoplifting. - I swear to God, it happened. On everything I love, it is Austin. - It is Austin, but dude, when you said that, I don't know, I don't know what. It tickles me to that extreme. - Yeah. - Hearing someone's physical features describe this small just gets me. And then when you coupled it with the huge jacket, I genuinely thought one of two routes. She shoplifting, which is the truth. Or this is like two six year olds playing hooky. And if you would have led me to the fact that it was two small first graders pretending to be an adult. If I went to the mall and there was two six year olds, I saw two six year olds stacked up on each other wearing a big trench coat. They would be on the podcast right now. - Oh yeah. - But we have to talk to you. - Open the car and take them. - Yeah, you're innovative. - Oh no, oh no, I didn't mean that. No, I'm saying, no, no, no, that's great. - Yeah, it's Credone, I did. Same rabie and met a glass woman. No, no, I'm saying, how else would they get here? We're not buying them a ticket. I'm not buying you a ticket. - I'm not grabbing them and putting them in the car. - I said grab them, I'm gonna put them in the car. - But you should know podcast. - All right, I have a game for us. Let's do it. So this has been trending, right? It's gone around. I think this is gonna be fun for us to play very simple game. It is called create a person game. You've done that. I have done that and I succeed it. - I don't have sex, so I can't do that. - Not talking real life approach, right? We're not gonna create someone. - I know we're gonna try right here. - Oh. - And I can love this game. - He goes, "Is he sure it works like this?" - No. - I'm like, "Oh." - No, not that type of game. This is a word game, verbal game. No, they're not the best suited for you. - No. - That tongue and quick reflexes. But we're gonna work through it. - Create a person game. You and me both on the count of three. One, two, three. We say a letter, right? First person to name a real person. - Based off those two letters. - Based off those two letters for their first and last name. - When's the point? - Let's do it. - Okay, super quick example. One, two, three. We both say a, if someone said Aaron Adams. - Aaron Adams, right? Sure. - Does that have to be a real person? - Let's go like, "No." - No, it's not. - It's not like you're f---ed. - Third cousin. - Okay, no one's real. - No people. - I am nervous about this game because I am in the middle of my second panic attack. And it's not even new yet. So, I'm not quite sure this is gonna go hit me with it. - Let's go. - We need to take a break. - No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to my therapist after this. - Okay. - I don't have one. - All right. Are you ready? - Nope. - So, first round. Ready? - Yep. - Three, two, one. - P. - Uh-uh. - Peter Robinson. - Peter Robinson. - Peter Robinson. - Uh-uh. - Uh-uh. - Wait. Can I do RP? - Uh-uh. - Yeah. - Ron Paul. - No, there's not a Ron Paul. - Rupal. - You're amazing. - Okay. - He's so pretty. I'm so pretty. I've always wanted to show him my fashion. - Okay, let's try again. - Let's go. - Three. - Is it hot? - No, it's getting hot. - No, I'm literally, I'm just cooking. - No, it's cooking. - I might be having a medical emergency. Dude, my hands are tingling. I feel like. - Spider-Man. - You need to come down, you need to come down. Here we go. Three, two, one. T. T.O. Trump. - Whoa. - Why'd you clap? - Oh. - Who said? I don't know. (laughing) - Oh! - And that shows our (bleep) - Brad, you said to Donald Trump, I said to return. (clapping) - I have to go. (laughing) Oh I'm just kidding. I have a lovely wife. That is what you got the point and they've got the one zero. Oh my god Okay, okay, okay, you gotta keep going three two one You know bow leg Lindsey Lindsey bottom bottom Bowie Brody James bro been lost and been been lamir. Listener. Oh (crying) (crying) (screaming) (crying) - That's all one word. (crying) - Who's that? (crying) - Me? I'm sorry. (crying) - I'm sorry. (crying) - Again, okay. - I was trying to get out Bill Lambeer, a physical enforcer, fifty-fifty-foyed piston, since you said Ben Law. - I said a physical enforcer for the outsider group. (crying) (crying) (crying) (crying) - Okay, you're going too old. I'm cooking, lookie. - I'm so good. - I'm cooking, lookie. - Yeah, sorry. - Oh my god, it's so good. - I'm not a fan. All right, here we go. Here we go, here we go. (crying) - We're still working to get everybody. (crying) (crying) - Okay, let's go, let's go. I'm on a high street. - You're a beater. - I know, here we go. Here we go. - Okay. - Here we go, come on, come on. - Here we go. - I can't. - I'm on it. - Give me the ball. - Three, two, one. - Oh. - Hello. - Ralph Lauren. (crying) - Solid pool, solid pool. - I'm not going to get skunk. - Yeah, what are we going to? - It's just a five. - I'm going to get a four oh. - Oh my god, no. - No, three oh. - Three, two, one. - P. - Peter Pepper. - I think it's a (crying) - Pick a pepper. - Pick a pepper. (crying) (crying) - How are we saying the same thing? - Hey, man, there's 20. - Yeah. - All right, dog. - All right, dog. - It's like a bath. - It's like a bath. - A bad mitt. What did you say? - I said we should kiss. (crying) (crying) (crying) (crying) (crying) - Blame it, here we go. - Here we go. - Oh. - That's a tie, right? - Yeah. - Nope, yeah. (crying) - Okay, ready for it. Here we go. Three, two, one. A. - F-A. - F-A, F-A. (crying) - Oh, that's a (crying) (crying) - Oh, no. - That was really one. That was a deep cut too. That was a (crying) B-side album cut. You know, no, no, I'm a gooner. (crying) (crying) (crying) (crying) - Oh, F-A, F-A. - I can't know too much. - Too F-A. - The narrow highlight rules are like, I can't. - Aaron, um. - A lot. - Aaron. - Aaron, uh. - Uh. - Amelia, no. - Frank. - Uh. - I'm. - I'm. - I'm. (crying) (crying) (crying) - Come on. I am getting absolutely gashed. I said Anne Frank or I said Amelia Frank. He said, "Oh, Brock!" Here we go. She's just gonna have a hard time with these added boys. She's got a lot of beliefs. Patreon, you're gonna enjoy this. Three, two, one, T. T. J. Jason Tony Johnson. Jason, who? Tony Johnson. It's J.T. Oh, wait, no, I can go. You guys still said Jason T. Yeah, you guys say you're one. You're one. There you go. Four and one. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. One rope. Here we go. To the wind. Yeah. Three, two, one, L. What are we doing? The lamp. What? What? What? The little lamp. Little lamb. Linux Lewis. That's two. The little lamb. The little lamb. Oh, here we go. Three, two, one, A. Steven H. Smith, double point. S-A-S. I don't know if that counts. Oh, well, okay, it does it. Okay, Aaron Smith. Sam Smith. That's S-S. It's S-A or A-S. A-S, M-L-S, A-L-S. Andrew Schultz. I already won. Did you? That's Aaron Smith. Oh, yeah, you're right. Three. Oh, my God. Four and three. Here we go. Three, two, one, G. Machine gun Kelly. No, no, no. Madison Square Garden. You're saying me, Megan Greer. No, that's real. Is that real? Is that a Megan Greer? I don't think there's a Greer. No, Megan Greer. No, no. Yes, there's a Megan Greer. Yes, there is Pamela Anderson, a Megan Greer. Oh, I think there is a Megan Greer. What does she look like? I don't know. I forgot to find out. Megan Greer. Oh, that's just, that's somebody's LinkedIn. Maybe Megan Greer is not a real person. Oh, my God, that's not real. I still have a chance. M-G. M-G. Oh, Marvin Gaye. Oh, my God. Four, four, four. Duce, what going to a Duce? (clapping) K-L-E-S. K-L-E-S. (laughing) Here we go. Okay, but you're, you're, you're, you're, I get what you're doing. I get what you're doing. What? How many letters are in the alphabet? 26. I'm stuck on a-- You said like three. Yeah. You go P. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Three, two, one. J-N. J-L-I-O. J Lino. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no and I won, can I get a gopeta? - I don't even know in this page. - John Newton? - I don't think that, I think you're saying that wrong. - I think you're saying that wrong. - The country legend? - That's a wicked deep point. Yeah, you're not confident. - John Newton, he's the cleric of August 4th, 17th. John Newton is an English evangelical, so dude, he's a slavery abolitionist. (gasps) - Evolutionist. - He's a slavery abolitionist. - You thought he made fucking country music. I promise you wouldn't want to hear his country music right here. - Let's do it in the tire right here. - New one, here we go, I'll tie it in. Okay, three, two, one, G. - Oh! - Oh, Jason! - Oh! - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Greg, oh, and you-- (laughs) (audience cheers) - Big Coward! - Big Coward! - I won the first one. - Big Coward. - Big Coward. Chatt put it. Chatt. Chatt. Can you put it in the comments? Keep it in the comments if I got cheated off that game? Because I don't want that would have been a real. It is a real person. It really said he was a country legend. You looked up. He was born in the 1700s. No, it's a real person. I just got to confuse John Newton. You learned. I learned about him. He's a real historical figure. The reason. Look at, look at Cowboy. He's a person calling off. He was like slave. A ball. An initialist. A ball. An initialist is a wicked word. Whatever. Oh, good game. Good game. Dude, you were on you were on something at the beginning. Dude, I'm your first two. And then the third where you stopped yourself. Oh, oh my god. I'm hungry. Can you bring me my snack? You should know podcast. Thank you brother. Bring me that. I appreciate it. Thank you. By the way, I get made fun for the way I eat my strawberries. One strawberry. Sure. And that's a good one. What are you talking about? How do you eat? There's only where you just eat the strawberry? No, it's definitely I went back home and I was eating strawberries in front of my parents come on a new health cake. The way I eat strawberries is really upset them. It's just holding in the mouth so many of that. You're kidding. It's a real thing. Some more nutrition. You can eat the top of it. You are not you did not just put an entire strawberry in your mouth without getting rid of the top. No, the top is fine. It's edible. That's a thing. A lot of people think the top is just like you're supposed to dispose of it. And then you got a bunch of top pieces in there. Eat the whole thing. Get a little stim and leave. If I wanted stim and leaf, I'd order a salad. You got fruit. That's about the whole thing. It's like a little. Okay, imagine if you just go normally, it's this much down. No, I can get pretty close to I'll show you where I get to. Yeah. That's wasteful. That's how white people eat chicken wings. You leave all that meat on there. Look at all that meat. No, this thing was stuck. You got to be glad. But then I clear the edges. Oh, God, that sounds like back in college. I have never. That's a normal thing. It's a normal thing. Okay, how about you? How about you? You need to stop doing that. That is making my skin crawl. Try it. Did you wash these? Not that might be a problem. I did not. My God. Oh God. I'll pet the size. Yeah, I'll pet the size. Mike's missiles mumps. There's dry as CJ. Yeah. God. No, try another one here. Try it my way. I'm not. I'm not eating. What's wrong with that? Why am I eating ground? Why am I eating leaf? What grass? In what point of life did they ever teach you to not eat the top of it? Okay, let's go find a banana, eat the whole peel. Yes, I know. Ask it whole user. Pills a skin care no one's making fun of him uses it as skin care proven eating this doesn't prove To me okay, but but I don't get the point of not eating the top I promise you if you try it at home you there's not gonna be anything wrong there That's how you supposed to eat strawberry if I'm doing this give me a smaller one I'm not you're giving me this where did you get these you know that throat opens up put that whole thing in there these are lab-planted strawberries God you're right. Yeah It's It's all dude. No look at this and honestly It's not that bad. What it's a little green. Oh, I can see by your body shape. You don't like greens It's just unnecessary no, no, it's really like you take a nice bite of a nice apple and just bend down and grab a leaf and throw in your mouth look All that juice and marination on there, but I used to be like you If you want to just get nothing but sweet You keep eating a couple and then at the end you got a none but stem Dog you don't have to do this You like you made it. You don't have to eat strawberry stems Like you're good, bro. Like I don't know why you're resorting to this Like I mean I'm not I'm not these are Rose would you get these from the gas is so on the gas base? You just had me you just had me eat a Whole strawberry stem grass leaf included. Yeah unwashed. Yeah from a seven eleven Yes, sir, I want you to know someone literally probably smoked a cigarette. Yeah, cast out some guys scratch off And then grab these and put them on the shelf dude. Yeah, that's probably explains why my poop is feeling like a small Feline's coming out like scrap to the walls. You got straight bushes in your shit. Yeah, what I'll try again. No What is tell me tell me one benefit tell me one benefit health kick more food more secation You like that word, huh? You think This little puble amount of greens Is going to have you more Satiated. Yes, no because you left all that meat on the bone. You're the type of person that just eats the skin on a chicken wing No, no, no I mean first off first off first off very personal but when I see when I see hair on fruits and vegetables I hate it all rip. It's a fuzz be a man looking there. That means you wouldn't go down There's a little bit of buzz. Oh, there's a fuzz. I'm Call me your manscape head streaming. That's okay. That's a little far. Yeah, no, no, no That's far. Yeah, you know sometimes in your brain and you get so excited about making the joke and then you say it You're like, oh, that's wrong to do that. You know it else is wrong. Yeah Stop eating the Leaf part of fruits everybody. Okay, if you haven't done that, why why why don't you do another fruits? Why don't you eat the peel of bananas? Matter of fact, why don't let's just start eating the skin of oranges. That's different. How the That's different. That's why like when you're eating a chicken wing You just take the wing off the chicken. I'm not taking the goblet stick of his neck. I'm not doing that That's the goblet stick of his neck. What's that called the gizzard? I'm not eating the chicken gizzard. I'm not doing that I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Hey, I'm not eating the chicken gizzard. Just like I'm not wearing it I'm not gonna eat the bananas close. I'm not doing it. Hey, guess what right now you eat the strawberries ball cap All right, you're eating the strawberries a little cute little ball cap. Oh, and that gizzard. Why are you so attached to chicken right now? Dude, my grandpa don't talk to him that much anymore. We used to slap his little gizzard right there We used to play with it just like that. We would play with his little gizzard right there You play with your granddad. He's good at gizzard. That's just a bunch of hatred comes out that gizzard Tell you know and he'll tell you know for the next two minutes even when he's done Keep going just like that. Well, that's that grandpa gizzard. Oh, that's like the four skin of a cat Oh, my god back to wolf. You know, you were talking about I mean we're gonna have a Hard time this one, huh? Yeah, that's good stuff, man. Dude. I prefer this is some patreon stuff, but I prefer some character now Oh Come on what's wrong with that? Come on, man. Show me you're alive No, I mean no for me it's a fine line. Dude, is it right? Is it wrong in me when I was you know in the dating game? I like older women. Oh, it's like I like older women It's fine one of the attributes of an older woman. They got some scars on their leg like some knee scars Are you fell down on a scooter once or twice? That's hot you you know, I mean you slammed your finger in a car door a couple thought you've been around You thought you used to play an asphalt you get emotionally and physically turned on yeah by seeing a leg scar I didn't get turned on, but it's at it showed character. I'm a man. I'm a man of character. It adds value I'm a man of care you but you you've scraped some your knee a couple times I appreciate that exact exact clones of women one is spotless one has One has a scar on her leg and a weird little birthmark on the art. Oh God. Oh, dude. Yeah, if you got some Dude, I got a thing about that. Like I like a little lazy eye on her Like you know what I mean tell me you can't hear any of that left here Show me you got some character in you Know what I mean? Like if Pierce was a girl he'd be mine That boy's death and blind That boy is a is a cowboy Keller I tried on his Ray bands earlier about how to Yeah, oh yeah, you think that boy can put anything on his eyes at our prescription, bro He sees like a whale. Oh my god. Hey does that boy talks to I'm after review this episode in the edit. I don't know Okay, you're speaking to ailments this this this this past week. I actually played basketball Okay, very disappointing and it wasn't intentional I went to my old gym while I was there saw a couple guys playing and Now you know me I Don't have a stutter, right? No, no never at the beginning of episode is a little rough No, that's just like kind of tripping. That's like a bad start on a relay But you're not like a bunch of teas in a row. I'm never like a I don't know if you can do that. I really don't know if you do that. I'm not doing that for two I'm saying I just we can you can't do that though we can agree that I don't have a stutter. Yes, I can agree Okay, so we're playing basketball, right, and it's simply three on three half court very calm For whatever reason I'm talking. There's no team up next There's no reason to play with your soul in the line and this guy just picks me to be his victim, right? He is talking cash The whole time three on three and I'm like, bro like I don't even care whatever whatever and then he's starting to get like Oh, yeah, yeah soft So I'm like, okay, now I got to turn it on I got to beat him now I got to turn it on I got to beat him I have to avenge the Kennedy name you cannot speak to me like that you you know my dad's a Boyer black guy He's black wasn't he? Yeah, I go you fight for the street. I fight for honor. I'm just kidding I'll see Jay that's gonna be your goal. You can make it and I can anyway, we're going so he's talking And it gets to the point where I'm now like my my blood's going on my heart bro. I got to a What was in the game be talk back? So it's not it's not anything in the competition. Yeah, cuz there's nothing like where he's not like it's it's all basketball related But it's getting in the game in the game so Right when I go for my first insult. Yeah. I literally rip a mean stutter And I thought you were going I Rip a stutter that I like I but it was so fascinating because I don't stutter. Yeah, at all. Yeah, I at least said bro Shut the And it wouldn't come out it would not come out And it got to the point you got to think this dude is literally oh, yeah, that week. Oh, you know, I know you think in there No, you're getting that talking okay. Yeah, I go broke shut the And it did not come out and I mean it sent me for the whole day. Holy I was in a bad mood I said bro one I died having hooped in forever. Of course it happens today too. Of course the one guy guarding me talking and I've never started in my life. - Yeah, that's embarrassing. It was crazy. - It was not good with confrontation. - It was crazy embarrassing. - Yeah. - You know, I had nothing to do with the conversation. - I had everything to do with it. - I don't, I don't stutter. - Yeah. - And I stutter. - Fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff. - Dude, I remember, see, that's embarrassing. That's really bad. One of my last year playing, not my last year playing college basketball, but I was playing college basketball. And you know, college basketball practices get very like aggressive. - Aggressive. - Like, there's a lot of fights that happen. It's a normal thing for a dabbing, right? So I remember, it was just my day. Me and this guy were going at it, right? But this guy was from, from Fifth Ward Houston, right? He was from Fifth Ward. Now, his upbringing and my upbringing, different, right? - A little different. - But at the end of the day, we got, so heated, he was like, no, come on. He lives his shorts up and he goes to fight. Now, I'm an, but I'm not a (beep) I was like, I'm not fighting this guy, right? Oh, but I was like, yeah, come on. And I put my hands up, right? And I was, and inside, I was like, somebody grab this guy. Grab this animal. He's real mad. Like I saw the, I saw f***ing his eyes. And he wanted, he wanted blood from me. And then a bunch of people went over to grab him. You can tell you're not the problem in your mind though. You know what I'm saying, in your mind like something, grab him quickly. You can tell you're not like the problem, like the person people are worried about when you're about to fight and everybody grabs the other guy. Like no one came to stop me. I had full capabilities of going to get him. I remember I was going like this. And I was like, so people grabbed him, right? And I was all alone. And so I was like, oh, they got him. Yeah, just what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get the hell back. Get the hell back. That was so scared, right? My leg was shaking. And I did it. No, I'm not, I'm not like little bit like this. Mine's like this, like one leg. I was so nervous. And he was like, you look a f*** dog, and I look, and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop my leg, I had the rest of his leg. I was like, f***ing, I had to go like, run off the court. Like I had a f***ing cramp. That was an embarrassing story too. You know whatever. Oh, basketball and embarrassing. Oh, my God. Goes hand in hand. Oh, my God. Where are we out on time? Do we have time for one more thing? I got a question for you. OK. Now I saw this question. OK, go ahead. And I know the route I'm taking. And I know yours is going to be different. Probably. That's how our friendship was made. So it is, it's just a proposition, right? Someone comes up to you in a black suit, right? I don't like the way he started that. I don't like that. I don't don't start f***ing with men and suits coming at me. What? Where am I, am I naked? No, you're not naked. OK, we'll start it off, go. A man comes up to you with a briefcase in the timer. OK? He goes, you have 24 hours. Hits it. Every mile you run-- one mile. Every mile you run, partnered with one shot of vodka, equals $1 million. Can I just switch it to tequila? [SCREAMS] Be a little bit more lucrative, huh? If I can get that one in there. Tequila. OK, every one mile ran and shot at tequila equals $1 million. There's no catches. It's just a fun scenario. In 24 hours? 24 hours. How many do you try to complete? First of all, first of all, I appreciate the effort of everybody that's probably going to comment on this saying, oh, I'm going to run my entire tie pass. I'm walking. Like, you know what I'm saying? I know I'm going to be a millionaire at the end of that 24 hours to walk. I will literally probably walk 15 miles. And 15 shots of-- I do 15 shots of vodka on a Thursday. First of all, if you're a sadly mistaken, you don't think I can walk 15 miles in 24 hours. You walking 15 miles. Yes. It takes me 15 minutes to walk one mile. On an incline, $2.5 million. Hey, crunch finish. That is-- that's pretty good pace. Yes. That's about 3.2, 3.3. No clue. But as you see at the end, it's like, oh, it's about about-- It's a pretty good-- Hey, but the thing is, that's not just going to-- It's not linear. You're not going to-- But I'm saying, but at the end of the day, 24 hours, take a lunch break. Who gives a 24 hours? You're just going to walk. You're not going to get any true efforts. I'm going to be a millionaire regardless. I'll go probably-- I'll walk. I'll walk until I get a little hungry. I also think you're highly-- OK, how many do you think you're going to walk in a row? I could walk four miles in a row. So then you've got to take four shots. You're just going to start off by taking four shots, then go walk the four miles. I'll pre-get. I'll take 30 shots before I do the 30 miles. Oh, you're not getting 30 and 30. There's no-- And now, 30 and 30 is-- That is insane. That is ludicrous. Probably like 10 and 10. So you think you would take-- OK, now, strategy wise. Yeah. Are you taking all the shots first, then walking it all off? Are you walking? And then when you're just physically exhausted, you go home and get hammered. But you win. What are you doing? I'll probably-- like I said, I'll front the first five shots. I'll front the first five at the beginning of the day. First shot to wake up. The guy gets a brief guess. I'm like, where's the-- the key? I'll take the five shots. Go walk it off. Go walk it off to the point. Little hungry. Little midday snack, little lunch. Couple more shots. Chase it with the key. And more shots. Bam, I'm like 12 shots in at this point. Then I'm going to go walk the rest. You're better than me. Yeah, well, what would you do? I'll rip. I'm running a 5K immediately. Offer it. That's three miles down. Why would you do that? Because I'm fresh. There's no alcohol in my system. My strategy-- I'm going to try to get as much miles down with no alcohol in me. The fact that you think you can run three miles right now is hilarious. I didn't say-- I'm not going for-- World record-- I can definitely do it. Yeah, you would end up at mile one and a half. You're at my walking pace. 100%. But you're walking the first mile. Yeah, I ran it. That's fine. We'll catch up. Regardless. I'm going to do three miles. Physically exhausted, take a break, eat, whatever, go do more, walk. My initial game plan-- I'm getting all the running I do. And then when my legs are literally shot, whatever the case may be, I'm going home, taking that many shots. Game over. I think the time limit should have been lowered. I don't know. 24 hours? Because I feel like everybody that ever does that challenge is-- well, they're obviously going to be a million. Oh, if you do one mile and one shot, you're a million. Yeah, but I'm trying to go for 20ms. Oh, I forgot you already reached. I'm going for-- Yeah, that's the difference. I'm talking about in the challenge-- There you go. That's such a bad running joke. I'm going for 20 miles, 20 shots. Get absolutely-- imagine getting-- imagine your legs are literally almost-- you can't even use them. How tired they are. You're blackout drawing. And you wake up, you check your phone. There's 20ms in your account. My two favorite things are on the line. Yeah, money and alcohol. I'm going to be very successful at that-- little triathlon, whatever it's called. Now, what if you had to swim with the same-- Thank you. How about that? How about that? Yeah, I'll be dead. Oh, do you have a pop culture? Oh my god, I can. I can. All right, let's get into people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture, pay an income. Bow. My pop culture is, man, December 13th. John Cena's final match. Holy shit. That is creeping. Yeah. And it's going to be against AJ Styles, which is going to be great. I believe, right? No, that's coming up. He's-- he's wrestling. That's AJ Styles. Yeah, yeah. He's wrestling him in Crown Jewel. So it is. But as you're watching this, I'm going to be at Monday Night Raw. So where's that at? Dallas. Oh, sick. Yeah, so I'll be watching that. I'll be on TV. I'm on the camera side. This time, normally when I go, I just sit on the floor like on-- Dude, you got to wear something bright or have a sign. Oh, no, man, I don't want to do that. Just literally wear a plain white shirt. I want it to be the biggest person there. And wear a plain white t-shirt. No. It's going to contrast. You're going to wear black. Jewelry. Yeah, that's your wear black shirt. But yeah, I'm going to be at Monday Night Raw. Should be fun. So if y'all want to watch me on Netflix, it's going to be premiered tonight if you're watching us on a Monday. That's fire. I didn't know you were going to do this, sick. Wait, who's-- OK, I don't know what the card is yet. Like, can we just talk about that? They do announce it. It's out. That's bad. I don't like that. Why? Because that's not how it was when we were growing up. That's not true. No, to the extent of now. Now you know everything's happening on Monday Night Raw. Yeah. On the Thursday before. Well, the writing in Monday Night Raw is just bad right now, because it's been-- I'm saying we were kids smack down with end. Yeah. And there might be a teaser for what's to come on Monday on Raw. You wait through the weekend that you build the spints. You can't run to social media where there's a million outlets talking about it. And then Raw would hit. And then they would tease what's happening throughout the night. But there's plenty of shit that kept you in your seat. And there was just, like, you didn't know. I want to see Roman Reigns. Hopefully Roman Reigns comes out. I can see Roman Reigns. Where is he? He's hit my active in the first week. What's maybe like 18? No, he's just Roman Reigns. Kind of out of the story. No, not really. He's just Roman Reigns. I brought this company to a billion dollars. I'm going to chill out for a little bit. That sucks. I mean, that's good for him, but I'm saying like-- And he has leukemia, so. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. No, I think-- No, these four. I don't know. He doesn't. He's not really probably about that, but-- But yeah, what's your problem, coach? My problem, coach, here is an NBA starting soon. Media day was a couple days ago. I am, of course, excited for the NBA. Thank God the MLB is ending. I didn't want to stay in the game with that. No, I'm just kidding. You know what? I have his-- - You've been on like, I usually-- - This isn't his background. - Baseball? - Yeah, it's a good background. - I don't turn that on for anything. - Awesome, why'd you just look at me so crazy that you said, what, you don't watch it? - No, because typically I do, I'm saying this year. I don't like, if ranges are on-- - Isn't that so crazy, I've never actually-- - Yeah, that's-- - He just gave me for doing the same thing. - Because I'm saying, I've never like, bro, if there's a hockey game on, there's not a-- - Background, just how you said. But at first you said, you haven't watched a single game, that's why I was like, that's kind of-- - I haven't. - I haven't either, this year, same, exactly what I said. - But, NBA, bro, I'm honestly excited, Lucas first year, full year, healthy, with the Lakers. LeBron, he said, don't worry about my future when he was asked about it. So, 'cause he's retiring. - People were speculating, is this gonna be his last year? - Nah, he made a bigger deal about that. - The stars are lining up though. It is his 23rd season, all-star games in LA. - No. - Two years, just saying. - I want him to say, I want him to make his records untouchable. - I want to say, well, they're pretty close. - As long as he's still playing at a high level. - Look, this one's gonna happen to my opinion. He's gonna play, when is Bryce? - I don't think he'll-- - Bryce is in Arizona this year? - Yeah, he's one and done. He's better than Bronnie. - Way better. - Way better, like 10 times better than Bronnie. - Not 10 times better than him. - And he's six, what, six, eight? - It's like six, six, six, eight. - Yeah, he's going to NBA. - Yeah, you will. - If Bronnie can go in there, no, if it's Bronnie, but comparatively, just as a basketball head, if you watch those two play. - Yeah. - Come on. - Yeah, so I think he's gonna wait for Bryce. - To go, to go. - Whenever Bryce is there. - One year with him? - No, it's gonna be his retirement year. - When Bryce-- - Yo, so I guess next year. - When Bryce-- - So he's gonna wait for Bryce, but not play a year with him in the same race. - So that's what I'm saying. So next year-- - Next year, this is last year. - This is last year to play. - Yeah, okay, so this year and another year. - Next year is his last year is what that means. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - We gotta get him home. - Yeah. He's done. We've clocked him out for the day. - We have absolutely worn him out. - He's a f*cking small face. - Yeah, that's strawberry roots. All right, can't get a f*cking beard, that was pop culture. Paying in camp. Pop culture. Paying in camp. Bow! - In camp, you didn't make a good impression for your sports show. Just now that wasn't a good impression. - No, that has nothing to do with that. I was talking about the NBA coming back. And I always talk about baseball too. - No, get him out of here. - What are you talking about? - Say goodbye, yeah, say goodbye. - No, what are you talking about? - You can write to the fans, please. - I was just a patron. - I did not talk about anything like exclusively, or like in depth. I was just saying I'm happy for the NBA to come back. - Yes, I know, come ahead. Let's go, get us out of here. - What is happening? - I can't, if you don't do it, I'll do it. Appreciate it all, y'all, come back. Give us a 1-85. - Talk 'em out. - Come on, give it to you. - Come on. - Come on. - Uh, personally, into the screen. - Everybody at home. - Yeah, everybody at home left. - Thank you so much for all the people that just joined. Promotion is over, but welcome to the Kuala Club. I love you, confuse the casuals, get you good karma. With this week's Cepher Code. S. (laughs) S. S. (mumbles) - Yeah. - E-S-L. - E-S-L. - E-S-L. Not English, second language, but each strawberry leaves. E-S-L, each strawberry leaves. - E-S-L in the comments. Everybody's just casually. - Everybody's just casually. - Positive messages to Cam in the comments, 'cause, he's gonna get an apple in Malibu and cry. - We were my God burn those shorts. (laughs) - Remember, oh. - Remember what added to Kuala. There's no going on the Christmas, and we will see you. - Next time, maybe, Cam might be fired. - I don't, no, I like to, I'll just get it. Eat the strawberry root. Strawberry leaves, which is also a root. - I'm gonna shut up, dude. - What the fuck is going on?