Speaker 1Shut up, and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer,
Speaker 2this is the show for you. Hey, rock stars. Welcome back to the Being On Stage podcast, day 12 of podcasting every day. My name is Reggie Dawson. I am a stage performance coach, talent development coach, whatever else you want to call me. I help performers do better on stage in every aspect of their show, but I specialize in audience connection and confidence development as well. So stay tuned because this is going to get wild. I'm just kidding. We're just going to talk for a few minutes, and then I'm going to let you go. Like we're on a phone call, you know? I'm just going to talk for a few minutes, and then I'll let you go. It's all good. So something that's been kind of happening lately with me, I guess, is my wife's been telling me I've been very nostalgic lately. Or very, I guess, been kind of focused on some memories of old shows I used to do and things that happened. And sometimes things that just did not. Did not go the way that, you know, they were supposed to, the way that I wanted them to. And, you know, there's a name for that. There's a big, fat name for that. And we all know what it is. We all felt it at one point or another. And that is regret. Okay? So let me talk to you for a minute about regret. There are a few big moments in my life where I had an opportunity, and I did not seize it. And I'll tell you, most of your regret is not. And actually, not most. All of your regret is not going to come from things that you did. Well, I mean, unless you, like, committed a crime or, you know, something like that. Okay, so we'll go back to most. Most of your regret is not going to come from things that you did, but it's going to come from things that you didn't do. Opportunities that were there that you didn't take. Moments that you made a decision to play it safe instead of take a risk. Everyone does it. You're not alone in this. You already have some of those moments. Maybe you're in one of those moments right now where you have this opportunity in front of you. And if you take it, man, it's going to be a crazy ride, but you're on your way to your dreams. And if you don't take it, you can still be on your way to your dreams, but it's not going to be such a crazy ride. And so let me just tell you the story, okay? Instead of just giving you an analogy after that, let me just tell you the story, all right? There's two moments in my life that I consistently. I consistently think about, like, just regret. Two moments in my performing career, I guess we could say. Moment numero uno. When MySpace was very, very popular. I feel like I've been talking about MySpace a little bit recently. But before Facebook, there was MySpace. And when MySpace was very popular, I had developed a kind of award system. Similar to, like, a Grammys type of thing. But I developed an award system for. Performers. And at the time, I had a lot of gay friends. I was hanging out in the gay clubs and everything like that. Because that's what was popular when I was, you know, 18, 19. That's just, you know, that's what was popular. All my friends were doing it. And honestly, if you've ever been to a drag show, you understand what I'm talking about. Because they're great. It's, like, entertainment at its finest. You want to be entertained? Truly entertained? Go to a drag show. Like, seriously. Your jaw will be on the floor. Because it is that amazing most of the time. But anyway, so I had developed kind of an award system. Helping some friends out with, you know, their careers and what they wanted to do. We developed an award system. And it started gaining some traction. And not just local traction. It started gaining national traction. National to the point of I was invited to a national contest to present awards to some of their participants in their contest. On stage at this national, you know. On stage at this national event. And that was in the second year. So, after the second year, MySpace started to fade out. Facebook really took over. And I struggled with. And if you don't know, when Facebook first started, the great thing about Facebook was it was just a news feed. That's it. There was no blog. There was no. There was a profile page. But on your profile page, it was, like, your photos and your news feed. There was no blog. There was no top friends. There was no drama at first. You know, imagine Facebook without drama. But there was no drama at first. There was a like button and a comment button. And that was it. Okay? It was simple. And we're coming off of MySpace where you could put in code and build your profile to look the way that you wanted. And you could post up who your top eight or 16 friends were. And you had a blog. And you had a news feed. And you had this. And you had that. And you had games. And it was a lot. I mean, now, people would probably love MySpace because it's everything. We're all rolled into one. All your social media platforms that you use. Yeah, MySpace was pretty much all of that in one platform. But when Facebook took over, they wanted it simple. So, when I had this contest system, I couldn't figure out how to move it from MySpace to Facebook because Facebook was just a news feed. There was no meat to it. Like, now, you could run an entire business solely off of Facebook. But it wasn't the case then. Okay. Now, I have no problem doing this award system. But it's been done. It's been done now. And there's RuPaul's Drag Race. And there's this person doing it and that person. It's everywhere now. Everywhere. So, but I kind of, I don't want to say it was the first, but I was before it was everywhere. Put it that way. I'm not claiming the first because I don't know what else was out there. But I was also afraid of building a website because this was before you could just point, click. And now, I can build you a website with one hand tied behind my back. And, like. An hour or two. Truthfully. You want a website? Contact me. I'll build you a website. You want a landing page? Call me. I'll build you a landing page. But at the time, and this was like 2009, 10, it wasn't like that. So, I couldn't. I was scared. So, I didn't proceed. And ultimately, I shut it down. And the reason I said I shut it down is since MySpace was no longer relevant, this was no longer going to happen. And I blamed it. I blamed it on that. But truthfully, it was because I was afraid to invest money in it. I was afraid to build a website. I was afraid to proceed with it. Because what if I put all this money and time into it and effort into it and nothing came of it? You know what would actually have happened? Like, now looking back and how time has gone. You know what actually would have happened? Is I probably would have been successful to a point of someone else would have bought it from me. And I wouldn't have had to been scared anymore. Like, that's actually what would have happened. Or it would have become something fantastic, which is what I've always envisioned. And that's the thing. I think we all do it. When we have this opportunity and we have this vision of this thing that we have is going to be something fantastic. And listen, this was an award system for performers. But this is the same thing on stage. And I'm just going to tell you another story here in a moment. Same thing on stage. You have this amazing vision for what you want your career to be or what you want your performance to be. But you don't allow yourself to succeed. You don't step into it. And I think that that's what I struggle with the most. And that's where most of my regret is. So here's the second story I wanted to share with you. Oh, so long story short with that one. And I know it's, okay, long story long. But with this award system, I shut it down. I moved on. I let go. And that sucks because I probably could have, like, sold it to RuPaul. But anyways, neither here nor there. I try not to have any regrets, but I do. So the next one is true performance. Opportunity. I actually have a number of stories that I could tell you. But this one's probably one of the bigger ones. So in 2011, I know I've mentioned this before. Me and my wife, my now wife, well, my girlfriend, my wife, the only thing we're missing is a wedding and a certificate. But other than that, she's my wife. But we met in 2008, got together 2009. 2011 happened. We had a huge financial crisis. We were going to be homeless. They moved to Massachusetts. Around 2010. So all this kind of happened around the same time. But around 2010-ish, I had this amazing opportunity. It was probably the end of 2000. Or no, sorry, 2012. This was after she left. So around 2012, I was kind of at the height of my game. I was really coming into my own as a performer. And I was starting to climb that hill and become, you know, notable. And I was starting to gain some traction. I was getting more and more. I was getting more bookings. I was being invited out of town. I was being asked to perform with, you know, higher level entertainers. And kind of, I was building my career. So I was becoming a bit of a local celebrity. And so this is the dangers of a local celebrity as well. So one show I did, and I didn't, this is, you also never know who's in the audience, by the way. This is why you should always be on your game and, like, doing your best and putting your best self out there. There was a girl in the audience that happened to be part of a circus. a circus troupe out of Boston, and not like a circus like get that, that, like Cirque du Soleil type circus troupe. And she approached me after my show and she was kind of, you know, my God, you're amazing. You know, there, I, people in Boston don't do this the way that you do it. You should, you know, if you're ever in Boston, contact me, I can hook you up. I can make you, you're going to be huge. Let me know. Like completely, she was visiting from Boston in case I missed saying that. Um, but completely like just, you need, you need to come to a bigger city because this is your, your big city material. It's kind of what she said to me. And I'm not tooting my own horn. I'm not bragging, but you know, you are probably, and I'm talking to you here, the listener, you are probably big city material as well. And that's a decision you have to make for yourself. Just like as a decision I had to make for myself at the same time as this happening to me though. Um, my wife was in Massachusetts on the other side. Uh, her best friend lived in Boston and off the coast of the United States. And she was like, I'm not going to stay at their apartment until I got on my feet. Um, so I could be closer to my girlfriend, you know, and, and my daughter, um, yeah, my girlfriend, my daughter. And, uh, at the time I was living with my mom, I convinced myself that my mom needed me to help take care of her, which my mom's 68. She does get around on a wheelchair, but I'll tell you, she doesn't really need help getting taken care of. She, she's got good friends and good church family to help that was more than willing to help her. I'm sure. Uh, if I wasn't around, but I convinced myself to stay for my mom, which she's told me time and time again, you don't have to stay for me. So she's completely not selfish about this. I've just, it's, it's one of the excuses I've used to hold myself back. Um, and I was also convinced that I had such good traction here that if I uprooted myself and move someone somewhere else, I would lose all the traction and I would lose all the notoriety that I had worked so hard for here. I'll tell you, looking back, at my life and how things have gone with my job and where I'm at right now, I should have went to Boston. Um, because one, I love Massachusetts and I try not to say this too much to my wife because she's homesick, but I love every part of Massachusetts. Like we've traveled across the state and everything. It's pretty cool state to, to be in and to just to travel around and explore the history. And the, the fact that I had a performing invitation and a house staying to go to Boston, I mean, the, the, the possibilities truly are endless. And so I guess where I'm going with this podcast and where I'm going with, and I'm not trying to throw a pity party here for me, because believe me, I'm, I'm not looking for pity. I, my wife and I are back together. She's down here in, down in Florida where, you know, where we're at now. My daughter's 14. We're, we're good. We're, we're in, and we're going places together. You know, it's not about me taking off as a we're, we're doing stuff together. And I think that's, what's most important. So I don't, I don't, I don't regret how things turned out, but performing wise, that's an opportunity that I really, really should have taken and stepped through that door. And I think a lot of times we, and I mean, all of us, you included, we hold ourselves back because we're afraid of the what if factor. And I got to tell you, as someone who's, you know, faced that, what if, and turned around, take the leap, take the jump, take the opportunity when it's presented to you. If you have the ability, and I mean, listen, if you really are a caretaker for someone, I get it. I was not really a caretaker for someone. My mother, my mother has operated. She, she's survived so many things. She honestly has faced death too many times to count. Everything from almost being eaten by an alligator when she was a kid, to driving off of a bridge, to being lost at sea. Like not a lie. My mother should have a podcast just talking about her life or death situation. So believe me, my mother does not need me. I need her. But you know, if you truly are a caretaker for someone, I get it. You can't uproot yourself and move, but there's going to be an opportunity where you really, really want to take. And I'm here to tell you, and I want you to know, and I just take it, take the jump, see what happens. You're going to land on your feet. You're going to land on your feet because you're going to keep working at what you're doing and you're going to get there. If you need a little more encouragement, a little more boost, a little kick in the pants, whatever it is, I'm here for you. Like I said, I got your back. Hit me up, jump on my calendar, beingonstage.com slash calendar. You can also shoot me an email, Reggie at beingonstage.com. Either way, I'm happy to chat with you for a few. And just works through some things that you're working through, give you the confidence boost that you need, and just keep you rocketing, blasting off towards your dreams. This is your dream. You got to live it to the fullest and you got to take the chances that are going to get you there. Keep on shining.
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