The Unflappable 49ers, Bad Coaching Galore, Drake Maye’s Rally, Tua’s Rough Cameo, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

This episode is brought to you by TikTok. When you watch a football game, you follow the ball, right? Well, there's a video on TikTok where this guy says to watch the players without the ball. Watch the routes and the action away from the play. I'll change how you see the game. And guess what? He's not wrong. That's the thing about discovery on TikTok. One video can change the way you see the game. You can learn something new or see things in a completely different way. Your next discovery is waiting on TikTok. Visit TikTok.com slash discover more. This is the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Make every NFL week more rewarding with FanDuel Rewards Club. You heard me. Just bet like you normally would. Earn points in eligible settled bets, win or lose. Keep collecting points, level up, and unlock bigger rewards. So keep an eye on your Rewards Club progress and see what you can unlock. This is your most rewarding season ever, and it's with FanDuel. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Get in progress. If you have a problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat Connecticut. The Bill Simmons podcast, we are live on Netflix. Cousin Sal is here. Tua is going to be here in a second. He's going to throw a podcast ending pic. He's coming back. Wow. Yeah, he's coming back. New rewatchables for me coming tomorrow. We're doing horror movies this month. I don't know if we're going to do the whole month of them, but we're doing Friday the 13th, the original. 1980. Some people think it's a Jason movie. It's not. Turns out there's a little twist in there. But anyway, that is. Coming tomorrow. And then we'll have another one next week. Okay. Week five, which lasted 14 hours and 19 minutes. That's how long week five was. It just kept going and going and going. Went into overtime with Baltimore and Atlanta. We got overtime. What do we. If you would have said, I'm trying to think of what movie, what Halloween movie you would compare it to. Like, all right. All of them. This was all 10 in a row. It's going to be a 14 hour day and it's going to end with Tua throwing interceptions. Like, oh, that's, that's Godfather three. What is that? Halloween. Halloween six. I don't know. Now it had the makings of Halloween four. And then when Tua showed up, it became Halloween five or Halloween seven. And also for Atlanta was shaping up to be one of the great weekends in Atlanta history because you had, you had the dream making the WNBA finals. I don't know one person who had money on it. And it was such a surprise that they don't have a place for them to play because there's a concert happening. So they're figuring that out, but still exciting. Angel Reese is becoming the queen of Atlanta. You have this Falcons resurgence. You have Michael Vicks in the house and, uh, and Sunday night football. They just announced they're playing that game at a waffle house in Buckhead. So I think, I think that's about how big it's going to be. It's going to be 3,500 people. How did they not figure this out? How does like this, this league has so many obstacles against it. Anyway, um, Tyler Huntley is now eight, nine career over seven years as a Ravens backup. And we watched terrible quarterback play every week. And somehow he can't get a job. I don't understand that. Explain it to me. It was good. I don't know if it's this offense, but I love this team this week. I was more against Atlanta. I was like, ah, they're really, they're going to win all three prime time games. Like you could have gotten like 10 to one odds on them, like just run to the table and blowing everyone out in prime time. And, uh, you know, aside from that defensive touchdown, which a little bit is fault. Sure. But, um, I, I just, I just liked them. I liked them. I just, it's amazing though, that we had to watch 31 coaches before one of them made a good choice. And that was Jesse Minter. It's like taking the ball in overtime and like, I don't know, like Collinsworth seemed to be against it, but I'm always like, what the hell it's, you got the bruising, the most physical running back in football against a tired defense. And you could get the ball twice. Of course you're taking the ball. You just went down the field on them. You're playing a team that the most traumatic moment in the history of the franchise happened after days, a team came back and got a touchdown and a two point against them to talk to go into overtime. And then got the ball. They put together an eight point drive in the last three minutes. And I think there was some stats online about how rare that was, especially for backup QB. But that the Atlanta thing for me, um, we can talk about Baltimore in a second, but it felt the whole game. It felt like it last week. And it felt like it on the weird Thursday night game against green Bay, like, like they had stumbled into something with Pennix, who I think we had all written off mentally as this guy. They took number eight when they'd already just signed cousins, see that a couple ACA. We had a third ACL and it just seemed like a sunk cost pick. I thought he was excellent this entire game. And uh, and I thought he was zinging the ball around. I thought the Ravens were doing really good stuff defensively against them. And then finally they got them at the end and they nailed them. And it seemed like he actually got hurt too, is looming over the game. As soon as he's down in the ground, if you're a Falcon's finger, like, oh my God. So I'm watching with house, it goes in overtime, Baltimore scores, Falcons defense is dead. We're debating whether they should go one for two or four. One or four, two, but it's clear two is coming in the game where like, oh, just go for one. Like two is going to throw them a pick. We're waiting for it. How's the, they're arguing about the rules. If you catch the interception is the game end, or do you have to go down? Cause I was like, no, no, no, no. If you, if you catch it, the game ends. Oh, really? Well, it can't like, you can't go for a pick six because the game kind of is over once you get the interception, you just go down and it's over. And I was like, I don't know if you have to go down and house was like, no, no, you have to. And as we're arguing about this, he throws a pick. Game. He did it. And it ended. We're arguing about his pick that he hasn't even thrown yet. And he throws it there in the argument because that's what you think. He heard you. Yeah. He might've, he might've. I mean, it really, cause he came in for the one play and then Pennix tried to come back in right before, before that I was, and he completed the pass. I was like, this could be the greatest to a performance of all time. If he came in one for one and then just bailed and somehow Atlanta won this game in, in overtime. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know if you're, you might be right about that. So if he fumbled that ball and the Ravens ran. It ended in, it wouldn't, it wouldn't matter that interception. I don't know. I think the game ends, but I'm probably wrong. Listen, don't, don't, I don't know if I'm right. I feel like I saw Atlanta had zero turnovers today until that pick. They were nine for 17 on first down until the final drive. They're moving the ball, um, against a team that I thought was pretty well coached and Baltimore takes it. They're foreign one. Now they have 13, 13 wins in the AFC north for five weeks. Turns out we have that division and we have the, the AFC North. And then the NFC West seems like the two divisions pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I underestimated the, uh, AFC north for sure. I think I overestimated the NFC north and then underestimated the, uh, AFC north. I can't even say the words, but, um, yeah, I, I think, uh, I, I dunno, it was at a point where the Ravens maybe could have run away with it after that Cowboys win, which is not so important now. And now everybody's bunched up, including the Sean. I'm not even counting the Sean out yet. It's weird. Can we get a kidney stones update for you before we keep going? Yeah, I hate it, though. It's not great. America wants to know. It's not great. I had a procedure the other day, and it wasn't very successful. So I have to go through the more invasive one this week, right through the penis hole. And so now I have, it's supposed to be blasted into many, many dozens of small pieces that I could pass. But instead, it was only blasted into two pieces that I still can't pass because they're too big. So it's just. So this has been pain medication for two and a half weeks, and you're doing pods and stuff? Yeah, this is an easy job. I'm sorry. I don't want to, you know. You do have like a sly smile on your face that I don't remember seeing. Really? The other day, you're just kind of like, hey. I do. I feel for people because it's easy to get hooked on this stuff. I don't want to minimize it, really, but I'm tingly right now. Sounds great. I felt tingly for 14 plus hours of football. Okay, big picture. I guess we have, we officially have a cross-off team. We were debating last week between Arizona and the Chargers. We took the Chargers. Yeah. And Arizona this week. Arizona all week. I took them in Ringer 107 on Thursday, which I'm not going to apologize for. I didn't know they were punting on the season. I take them on Thursday, plus four and a half against Detroit. I thought they would be able to move the ball back and forth against Detroit. And then they just put Marvin Harrison up for auction on Saturday. Right. And trade him, but make him inactive. And it turns out he's going to Houston. It's like, oh, I guess. I guess we're punting on the season now. And Detroit whacks them. So anyway, I think Arizona. We're reporting that he's getting traded. But whoa, who to? Don't worry about that. He's just go. Like, I hadn't seen anything like that before. Like, Schefter could do that. Now we could do that. We could just like. Well, our guy Palacero started it four Saturdays in a row. He's had something that got the news going. Nice. And it was, it was a mess. I think what happened is Houston's like, we're in on this trade, but can we just make sure we beat Tennessee? Right. That was exactly. If we, if we lose to Tennessee trades off, so they're like, all right, all right. We won't announce it. Cause if they're owing five, that second round pick all of a sudden is a little, a little pricier, right? That's like a little, a little more appealing. I don't know if that would have been my first choice in the grocery store from the Texans GM to get another receiver. Yeah. Like I might've looked at running back or tackle. Right. Before I looked at the receiver thing. But anyway, so we have for crossoffs, Miami, Tennessee, Chargers, Arizona. I think for the best three teams in the league, I think they're all in the NFC West. 'Cause, and we'll talk about that at the Seahawks game in a second, but their hole is running back, but they'll be able to fix that before the trade deadline. The Niners are playing the best of anyone in the league and the Rams have the highest ceiling. And I think it starts with those three. Is there anyone else you would put near them? I would not. I guess if the. Man, what happens if the Bills beat the Rams? Then you kind of have to. They have to jump the Rams. Then you knock them out. Right? I don't know if they jump the Rams with their defense. If they win by double digits on the road. I think they nudge the Rams out and then it just becomes San Francisco one and probably Seattle two. Yeah, that was a great game. We'll put Baltimore in there. Looking. Like the playoff stuff right now, if you just look at the standings, it would be Buffalo, Baltimore, Jacksonville, KC as the division champs. Giants, Vikings, Panthers, 49ers. Those would be our eight division champs right now. I'm going to bet that's not going to last. So funny we don't have the Chiefs. You have the Chiefs in your team. Top five, at least? The undefeated Chiefs? Yeah, absolutely. I had the Chiefs in the top five. Okay, let's talk about one of the funniest games in NFL history, Giants-Washington. Absolutely. Why are you laughing? Tour de force. I was lucky enough to watch this with Joe House and a few others, including Dave Chang, who came over. Oh, that's right. Redskins fan who made some stews and I'll talk about him in a second. But it ends up, if you were going to pick any game this entire season to end with a tie, you probably would have said this. It ends with Scataboo fumbling when they're just running out the clock to go kick the game-winning field goal. Somehow he fumbles and then Washington comes back down and everybody knows what happened at this point. But I think one of the single craziest, it was a little reminiscent of Dak in that playoff game. Oh, I thought we were going to have fun here for a few minutes. This was way worse because it was clear something got lost in the translation. He thought they had a timeout or he brain farted. They didn't tell him he had a timeout and the clock just runs out. And I think, my thing is, maybe the guy misses the field goal anyway, but holy mackerel. So the Giants get this free tie and the only, you know, if you go to win totals from before the year, it doesn't feel like the Redskins minus seven and a half or over seven and a half for a win. You don't get it. It just doesn't count. But this was, has there been a dumber game? No, I don't think so. I just think like with these coaches, like I think AI has infiltrated the brain. The brains of all the coaches, but specifically the NFC East coaches, like in a negative way, eating at the medulla or whatever. And it could spread to the NFC North if we don't do something about it now. But yeah, and Dan Quinn is a Cowboys coach, so he can't help it formally. But I don't know, like it's so funny. They interview these guys afterwards. They interviewed the backup tight end, some linemen, and you know, they all say something different. It's probably Jaden Daniels fault. It's probably like he has to get rid of that ball immediately. So if you did power rankings, he's, he's one. Yeah. Probably the OC and the coach. Tomlin said before or at halftime, he was saying that's got to go in the headset. You got to tell him, yo, yo, yo, just remember to get it in the right hash mark and call. We'll get rid of it immediately. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got guys in the end zone that are never going to get back to the line of scrimmage and the guys that are interviewed are like, you know, I don't know. We just got it. And the coaches are all like, I got to do better. Like how many times are going to see the same interview from 10 different coaches? Like we got to do better. We have to communicate better. We, we agree. You definitely have to do better. It was one of those, you know, when we were growing up, there was always that video of Jim Marshall running the wrong way for the Vikings for the touchdown and celebrating. And then it turned out he ran. So there's been moments like that. I felt like this was up there. Yeah. That just somebody would have 55 seconds left. They ran one more play and easily could have felt like the Giants couldn't believe it. They're celebrating. It's the first time anyone celebrated a tie like that. Yeah. And they end up, they're three, one and one in the division. Somehow they're in the lead. But, but for Washington, I will see tomorrow. I, do you think that's it for Quinn? I think they keep them unless they, I think Daniels is going to take internally the blame here. And if I were one of these players that's getting interviewed, I'd be like, listen, it's definitely one guy's fault. I'll give you a hint. It's a dude. That's all I'm going to say. I'm not throwing anyone, anyone under the bus, but of course it's someone's fault. You know, that's the same, same one over and over. They weren't close to, they had like, nine more seconds. They wouldn't have gotten that playoff. Everything about it felt weird as you were watching it with like 20 seconds left. I was like, what is going on here? What are they going to wait? Wait, Oh, three seconds to their China. And it's over. Yeah. Chris Myers, your boy, Chris Myers was giddy. He was like on top of it. He's like, I don't think they're going to get this. No, it's over. It's actually over. Say Chris Myers went from just being relegated to the NFC South to now calling, some of the stupidest games ever that go into overtime. He's there for four hours. I think we could find you a worse game, Chris. We're going to get you out of Carolina for this week or whatever. Well, we had Jameis going 36 for 54 for 306. No, no interception somehow. It was the full experience. And the first half, it looked like he was going to get pulled. Yeah. And he was all over the map with his throws. And it just felt like, you know, is it JJ McCarthy time? We're getting close. And then he kind of rallied. And then neighbors who was targeted, 20 times was 11 for one 21. He was good in this game. Right. And I thought Daniels was pretty exciting for somebody who had a giant left elbow thing. He ran for two touchdowns, but in general, kind of had the same feel he had two years ago. The weather wasn't great. I did too. I felt bad for him with that. I really did. Like that. That's not how it should have ended. I'm not now. I'm sorry. I haven't looked at the NFC East. I don't even know why I'm crucifying myself here. Yes. Well, I have, I have an email from TJ in Denver. Yeah. He asked, if there's ever been a more embarrassing week for a football division, Oh, your team lost at home on a Thursday night to a winless Tampa Bay team with an undrafted QB that nobody heard of. Um, your QB got heckled leaving the game. Yeah. By somebody who I guess got fired Philly lost, even though they took a lead with eight seconds left. And then the giants and Washington would shout out whatever the hell happened in that game for a tie. That is about as the NFC South even, I can't say. I feel like you did this. I did it. Yeah. You'd made so much fun of the NFC South that you turned your own division into the NFC South. You know what, Bill, I have to communicate better. I have to communicate with my sources and division leaders and everybody else. But yeah, I think you're right. I think I might've done this. All right. TJ, TJ from Denver. I'm sorry. We don't all get to play the chargers every week, but yeah, it's disgusting. What do I want to say? It's, it's embarrassing. We joked on the Friday show. Like maybe the commanders and giants will tie. That's how nobody gets wins in this division. Everyone keeps, tying, but yeah, really bad. How do you pick a winner? Dallas is favored plus one 35. Sadly, we're in California and couldn't lie. Bet this appropriately, but house was convinced it was going to end with a tie when we were doing that coin. Oh really? Yeah. He was like, Oh my God, this is the easiest tie call ever. But we thought it was going to be 30, 30 tie. We didn't, we didn't realize each and overtime. We didn't realize nobody was going to score. How do you not have a car that goes 450, miles an hour? That can get us to the Arizona border to bet these legally and Fandle and then back in time for the late pretty soon. We'll have air cabs. Good poll results. First coach fired on Netflix. They just did this Quinn 41%. Harbaugh 32%. And then Sirianni, um, I guess had the rest of that, but do you think that's fair? I think Harbaugh should be fired. He's did. That is the worst. Coach worst run. Um, most dispirited team. We've talked about this last week, the week before I felt like we've done podcast segments every week. I have them coming up later. I got to talk about primal fear. Dave Chang. Okay. Yeah. So remember in primal fear, Ed Norton played this normal stuttering, nice guy, but then he was also this evil guy. Sorry. Spoiler alert. Right. Movie came out 30 years ago. Yeah. Chang has decided he wants Washington to keep losing to get the number one pick. Oh, I hate that. So he's watching the game, getting mad when good things are happening, but then near the end, when it seems like they might win, he's rooting for Washington and he's just going back and forth, rooting for Washington and then rooting against them. And either way he's upset. I've never seen anybody navigate this before where they never have joy, no matter what happens. Yeah. He's upset when, when they're, when it's not going well, but then he's also upset when it goes well. Right. So you can imagine. So at the end it was like basically this primal fear, a test for Chang. How is this going to play out with this crazy ending, which is one of the dumbest endings we've ever seen in the history of football and does it. And he's screaming at the TV, how stupid Washington is. I can't believe we blew it. And it's like you, it was, I can't even describe it. It was fine with this. Yeah. You were all over the place. So basically I think, I think Chang needs sports therapy. We have therapy for real things. We don't ever talk about maybe, maybe you need to take some time out and talk to somebody. I think he needs it with the Washington commanders slash Redskins. I think he needs to talk to somebody and figure out where his head's at. Cause it's all over the place. And I'm honestly a little worried about him. I think it's a real thing. I honestly, people are going to laugh at that, but whatever upsets you, right? There are dumber things that upset people that they go talk about in therapy that no one will make fun of. Right. But if sports is really what gets you angry for three days a week or whatever, you know, Chang doesn't even have like, Oh, he does have fantasy and stuff and pools and stuff like that. He's in pools, I didn't even know about it. He's in pools with you that you guys didn't even know about. even invite me in. Oh, stop. I introduced you to Chang. How dare you? I didn't, you know. I feel like I should be mad about this. All right. You got me back by not inviting me to your house today, so it's fine. You couldn't have come. You have fucking kidney stones. You're allowed to drive. If I would have shot that thing right into Chang as he was deciding if he loved or hated the commander. I was going to go off on house tomorrow and be like, listen, this is your division to lose. You have the best team right now in the NFC East. I still think that. House is a good Washington fan. He roots for them. He roots for Jay Daniels. He does not really like Dan Quinn that much. But it feels like they're headed for a house cleaning. 1-3-1 is really bad. The Giants, they're a say what you want about dot, dot, dot. You know how people do that about teams, people, entertainers, whoever. Say what you want about dot, dot, dot. The Giants being 3-1-1 is definitely, they'll get a lot of that time. I say what you want about the Giants, but they're in the right place. You only need 9-7-1 probably gets them in. That might be enough to win the division. Harbaugh crystallized it. What did he say? It's not a win, and it's not a loss. It's a tie, and that's what I told my guys. He essentially said that. You could make up a Harbaugh quote after every. I'd be like, did he say this or not? I would really have a lot of trouble doing that. There should be a Netflix poll. Which one of these four are actually a Harbaugh quote? Does Primal Fear Chang need to talk to somebody about his relationship with Washington? Get that up there, too. Yeah, so we have that. What are they? 7-1-1? Fandle straddles this. It's 6-1-1 or 7-1-1 for the Giants. For the win total? For the win total. They have three wins already. Overs minus 160, over 6-1-1. What's the division? I know you got me excited. Look at this. So the division, your stupid team is still favored to win the division. Eagles are second. Giants are plus 380. And the Commanders are now plus 800. You're plus 135. And then Philly, who. Let's talk about them, because that's the third coach. Let's do it. That's at least the second coach in the who should get fired. So the London game, it's just guaranteed you wake up at 7-15 and, you know, you know shit's gone down. There was a fight with Jeremiah Trotter getting kicked out. They had Jacksonville went flying down and scored a touchdown early. And then they got the ball back, and it just felt like they were going to go up 40-0. And then all of a sudden, the Eagles are back. Anyway, I wrote down, don't bet on the London game, value 54. And all of it ended with an absolute miracle teaser cover. I was one of many people who had the Jaguars and the Texans, and it was a what could go wrong. Everything the Jaguars did. They had 408 yards to 232 for Philly. They had 13 penalties for 100 yards. Of course, the backup snapper came in, because I think that happens once a year in the London games. We get a backup snapper or some sort of backup kicker. There's always some sort of backup you don't expect. And they did everything they possibly could do to lose this game. That holder was great, by the way. I don't know if there's a holder of the month or a holder of the week. You think they should do that? Yeah, maybe. The State Farm Holder of the Week. They give him the game ball, and he's just like, I don't want to touch anything. Just leave it alone. I'm diving to places damn thing. But yeah, no, he was great. What did Hench text us? That he was just like, every step is going to be high, guys. He's just expecting the worst. This will never have any variance. You're going to be like this at every step. But anyway, they end up. They finally, somehow, fall behind with eight seconds left and get the kickoff. And Sirianni took shit for this. He apologized for it after. I 100% support the kick it off and run time when they don't have timeouts. Get a fucking stop with your kick return. How about this? Don't give up 50 yards to the kick returner. That was not the wrong move. That was not what happened with your team. What if you did give up? You had given up 50 yards in the opening kickoff, and it was only. Just tap him. That's the whole point of coaching a team and having a preseason. You've had four games already. This is it. This guy has to go 40 to 50 yards for them to have a chance. How does he do it? How do you let that up? If I'm putting my hands, it's like, we win this game unless this guy returns a kick for 50 yards. I feel good about that bet. Anyway, he does it. The other thing is, you're right. If he kicks it into the end zone, they get it to the 25, and then you're talking about. 35. 35. Then you're talking about a 30-yard pass, 25-yard pass. That's doable in five seconds. We saw it two weeks ago. It's a 15-yard pass to the 49, and then Little comes in. By the way, that kick he made, that would have been good from 70. I'm kicking off. I'm making Amir Abdullah beat me, and I'm going to bet on all these guys I have on this allegedly talented team that somebody's going to be able to tackle. But that wasn't the shitty part. They should have killed clock before that. It shouldn't be my matter. But that's what I got mad at with Sirianni, and he's another one that says they have to communicate more. Everybody says they have to communicate more. It's weird. These guys have headsets on, and they're not communicating enough. That's not the way. You need skywriting. You need a plane to fly in or something. You and I used to joke, and it wasn't even a joke, about Madden. These guys should have to play 1,000 hours of Madden, right? We were joking about that in the late 2000s. Yeah. And so I think we settled on there should be a Madden specialist. What is it? Like a 16-year-old kid or something on the sideline to tell you what to do. Now I think it's the full-time gig. It's just like it's the coaching gig. It seems to be like 50% of the job is figuring out these endings. They're all the same. Like we're better than these coaches at figuring out how to kill clock. Even in the first half, the end of the first half, with Cohen screaming to add a second, they snap the ball at five seconds. You don't get to add a second, scream about a second being added when Lawrence is hesitating and then sails it through the end zone. Right. Snapping it with five. Like you're lucky you got another second. And they didn't do anything anyway. But it's really weird. Well, Liam Cohen was equally terrible. Yeah, I've been talking about this for 20 years since the famous Belichick fourth and two. You can bring the math into it, but the play also has to make sense too. Like, you know, the Jags, who were inside the five-yard line, it felt like for 12 plays during that game. You know, and there was one fourth and one where they decide to do the wide receiver running quick handoff sweep. Right. That I think works one out of 10 times. Yeah. That gets stuffed. And it's like, oh man, they went for it. The math said to go for it. It's like, did the math say to do the dumbest play possible? When you have six foot six Trevor Lawrence who could just sneak and fall forward. So they did that. And then they did the same thing when they were in there the second time. They got to first and goal from the one. All of a sudden, they're bringing the wildcat in and then somebody false starts. It's like, just bring your six foot six quarterback and have them fall forward three times. He's going to get a yard. No doubt. Yeah. Every coach. I don't understand it. It's like they're trying to impress us. So, oh, Liam Cohen. Unbelievable. First and goal from the one play. Wide receiver sleep. Sweep. Wow. Really smart. Good play. And then like, you know, they say, all right, the first three weeks, the offensive line has to gel. They didn't play together in preseason. A lot of them. So you're going to see some shitty football. The coaching just never gets better. It really doesn't matter what week. It is like, I really feel like like 20 of these guys were just God awful today. You asked what, what's the poll for those? Like those three should all get fired at once. It should be like, remember like the first hall of fame induction in baseball. It was like, they're like, we have a class. Yeah. Ty Cobb, Ruth and Cy Young, whatever. Yeah. So I thought bowl should have been fired Thursday night when he went for it up 14. I mean, he went for it on, or what was he up 14 or 17? 14. They were at the one yard line. Yeah. Yeah. And Phil go ends the game. You turn. The TV off. If they're up 17, he's like, no, watch this. I said that I'm going to go for it. It was exactly that. My theory was that some Amazon executive got in his headset and said, Hey, I like people. People are going to tune out. If this is a three score game, we'll give you a hundred grand. If you just. Indigest is like, make the call. That's right. Call. Yeah. I thought, uh, I thought it was a truly, truly atrocious Liam Cohen game, but I'm willing to give him benefit of doubt because it was in London. Yeah. So I think people go to London. They just, they lose their minds. Jalen Carter was. Incredible in that game for two hours. You knew it wasn't sustainable. And then he finally slowed down. Hertz had a couple of good throws, but for the most part, the Seagulls offense, what do you think they are in three and outs this year? How many? I know going percentage. Oh, I don't know. Going into the week, they had the most, but, uh, um, three and outs of 25, 0% to a hundred percent. I'll say 25. So you could, you could, I could say, wow. After you give your answer, go ahead. 25, 45 higher. Wow. All right. That seems like a lot. 45 is unremarkable. I don't know. 45 is not a lot. 45%. All right. I listen, if you're played five games of, of professional football and almost half the time, you've had a three and out. Oh, 45, you're driving. I'm sorry. I missed 45%. Oh yeah. That's bad. Yeah. That's bad. Well, we made this joke a couple of years ago. I talked about it with house on Thursday. It, I think it was Doug Peterson. We had a listener, somebody made the, I think it was a listener. emailed in a joke about, um, that Doug should, or maybe we came up with that, that Doug should have to ride. He gets fired in London and then they send him for a middle seat home and he's just riding coach in the middle. It wasn't Lombardi. Maybe it was, maybe it was Lombardi. It was middle seat Doug. And that became a thing. And I felt like Sirianni could be middle seat Sirianni. It's like, Hey, yeah, uh, that's it. And, uh, listen, you're, you're not going to be on the team plane. Here's your ticket. Virgin airlines. It's coach. Sorry. Now does he ride with big Dom or big Dom is free of no big. No, I mean that, I mean, big Dom gets involved. That might end up being like Tommy walking into a thinking he's getting made. That's right. The plastic's on the floor. Big Dom's going to take you out for a nice dinner. Oh, great. Where is it? Yeah. Anyway, middle seat. Yeah. Um, a miracle teaser cover though. Miracle. I think you texted after the Eagles field goal. You were like, this is my worst loss in three years or something. Right. I felt that way. Yeah. I was like, I don't, they've dominated this game. Really? They're going to lose it. Um, we're going to take a break and then we're going to talk about the third coach that, uh, is in major trouble. Jim Harbaugh right after this, the bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. It is your most rewarding season ever on FanDuel Howard. Are we talking more rewarding than an 18 point comeback? Maybe even more rewarding than an old lineman, catching a touchdown. I always enjoyed when that happens in this NFL season. That feeling doesn't stop on the field. Look out for the all new FanDuel rewards club, exclusive offers, surprises, and more. I was just in Boston playing around with this stuff. Somehow I'm level four in the rewards club. Thank you. FanDuel. That's great. Every week. Check the FanDuel app to see what's waiting for you. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. Download the app to get started. FanDuel. Play your game. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC or West. DC or Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fan.com. Game problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer sponsor of the NBA and legitimately my favorite beer. I was drinking them at Fenway park actually recently. It's tip off and I can't wait to see in person. The best thing for me is when the new guys come in the league and you get to go check them out. For me, this is the best thing I've seen in my entire career. I've seen the best thing I've seen in my entire career. I've seen the best thing I've seen in my entire and you get to go check them out for the first time, like when Wemby came in a couple years ago. We have a great rookie class this year. I want to see Cam Boozer in person. I want to see DeBonsa in person. I want to see Darren Peterson in person. I'm excited for all of these dudes, and I think that's my favorite thing about when the season starts, those first couple months, when the newer guys start coming in and then getting to see the old guys too, your old friends. Like, Curry is a can't miss. I got to go see him in person every year. So I think it's reuniting with old people you loved watching and then seeing the new blood too. But when I'm at the game, nothing better than watching with a Michelob Ultra, a superior light beer with a distinctly smooth taste. Gets nice and cold, just good times. Good news for fans. Michelob Ultra giving you a chance to watch the game you love this season in person with courtside tickets and more. So enter now at MichelobUltra.com slash courtside. And maybe, maybe you'll luck out. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at MichelobUltra.com slash courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. So Chang made, he made a sweet beef stew, and then he made like more of a Korean spicier beef stew. And it was delicious. And we ate it at lunch, and then I ate it two hours ago. And I'm like you, you're on medication. I feel like I've been medicated by beef stew. David Chang's yelling in the combo, screaming at the TV. I'm pulling the curtain back here. You took some shine off because you're still sweating off the stew, but I like it. No, I forgot to put the AC on in the studio. I'm less shiny now, right? Yeah, you look very youthful. Thank you. Chargers Broncos is our other coach in peril. Denver stinks through it without getting anything, from Bo Nix. Right. It feels like a miracle when he completes a third and eight. Today he had 16 for 27 for 123. They were one for 12 on third down. Waddle and Sutton, four for 37 combined. These were guys, what did Waddle go for? High 20s in fantasy? Oh, yeah. 31, something like that. And Sutton was, you know, also a good one. Have we figured out which plays Sean Payton's calling? Did he announce which ones? The ones that they scored on, or something good happened, I think. The ones that worked? Yeah. Yeah. So Denver's three and two, and just hanging around with no offense whatsoever. And not even the second half comeback. And you know how I know that? Because I had Denver minus, plus a half in the second half, and they lost by one in the second half, and still won the game. It's so stupid, but I don't know. I mean, you might be right about this Harbaugh thing. Does he want out? Well, first on Denver really quick. Yeah. They just don't seem like they have it. I don't know what the, what the fix is for them. They're just not explosive enough. They don't seem like they know what their offense is. Knicks just doesn't throw the ball over. Like, I thought they got Waddle, because partly because he was really good at, like, catching balls over the middle and slants, and he was going to, and then Sutton would be on the outside with the other guys they have, and they would have this inside, and they don't have it at all. And the running game's, like, pretty blah. They have this really good offensive line that they can't seem to protect them. Right. I just don't get it. I don't know. The team just does not feel, a lot of the stuff that happened last year, what we're learning with this season, feels like you just throw it out the window, and it's like a reset button in a completely new season and set of teams. But I, because I looked at this too. Were they the same team last year, but just scored a few more points? Because it's one of my favorite stats that they were behind in 15 games last year. Well, I think the schedule was worse for them last year. Yeah. But, I mean, who was worse for them than playing the Chargers? This week with five backup linemen and, you know, the sixth, seventh, and eighth receivers on the team. I can't imagine they played many worse teams than that last year. They barely won this game. Like, this seemed like they were going to blow the game for two hours and then snuck it out. So, and they were favored by three and a half, right? Yeah. It was three and a half. Yeah. It didn't seem like they were going to cover that one for a while. They finally did. Herbert was sacked five times. They had three turnovers. And it felt, well, it wasn't worse than that. He just was getting the shit kicked out of him. It really feels when you're watching, like it's going to be his last game of the season that something bad's going to happen and he's going to take the wrong hit. Then it finally happened in this game. Yeah. Got up, kept going. And, you know, when I was growing up in New England, we had Jim Plunkett. That was like the first quarterback I knew who just got the shit kicked out of him for the first seven years of my life to the point that, you know, they traded him to the Niners. The Niners waved him. Like, he was almost out of the league because he just got hit too much. Yeah. And it feels like Herbert's heading to that. Plunkett won a Super Bowl, though, didn't he? He got, left the league. Like, he was out, went back to the Raiders, was a backup, and then had this career resurgence. Not saying that's how it's going to play out for Herbert, but you can take too many hits. It happened with Bledsoe in 1999 and 2000. It changes how you quarterback after a while. I don't feel like we defend him a lot, but I might be done, like, even giving him a shred of defense. And I get the offensive line, like, oh, Slater and Alt, they never play, they do play, but he's, the throws are just bad. And it's just, I know the talent's not there really anymore, but I just, he reminds me of this guy Munoz on the Mariners. I don't know. We got to get that in every week. All right. I'm glad we kept the streak alive. They're 0-5. They play at KC next week, bye week at the Rams, Houston. Yeah. Really does not. It feels like that is probably 0-8. And even worse, they're Arizona's only win, and now Arizona is tanking. So that hurts. McDaniel, I think, I wrote down he's going to be either in the Big 12 or the Patriot League in 10 months. And then Harbaugh's legacy, I think we all thought he was an incredible hire, and I know I did. Incredible hire, culture changer. And now his legacy is starting to shift to a guy who got banned from college football, who the guys from the Ringer Fantasy Football Show compared him to Joe Biden. Wow. And that's where he is in 2026. They cut to him on the sidelines, and it looks like he's trying to catch flies in his mouth. He's just like. You're right. It doesn't help the Biden comparison when they ask him, oh, it's still going. Has he got any? Did he get any flies? He's just out of it. And they asked him, when you're 0-5, what's the message? And he said, I don't know. I don't know. He doesn't know. It's like, is that his dad? No, no, that's actually Jim Harbaugh. He's just flatlining on the sidelines. Is it worse that the fact that he could have won three of these games? They could have won three of these games, right? I don't know. I never felt in any of them, they were in position to win, but I never felt. Against the Bills? This week? I never ever felt watching, like, it almost was more the other team, like, oh, man, are they really going to screw this up? Yeah. It wasn't like the Chargers were doing anything magical or great. I don't know. You know what's good about it? Like, even the announcers aren't. I like Ross Tucker a lot. He was with IN. eagle and he was good he's very good and he's like he has that like acheman like uh just disapproval like uh disappointment yeah it's like yeah oh man look look at this line the offensive line they have no idea what they're doing right now they have no idea what they're doing right now it's just uh herbert yeah this is like no he's just gonna do a hard count like everyone's disgusted with the chargers well they had four rookie offensive linemen yeah and instead of simplifying the offense like they came out in the second half and they ran this thing where where herbert was pretending to throw to the left and then whirled around and threw this bubble screen right like into like five guys and it worked but it wasn't exactly great i got an email from jabbar from massachusetts who wonders if we're watching the sequel to obsession happening with justin herbert that he did the one wish willow to start dating madison beer because he's a shy guy and really wanted to date her wow and he said i wish madison beer would love me more than anyone else in the world and now he's condemned to never win a football game it did make me think make me ponder i do like that movie they should ask harbaugh about that indeed but no i don't even like with herbert if they did put him on the trade block which they won't but if they did i i don't even know what his value would be hmm that's a good question and trey lance is out right like i'm trying to think of like even like uh like benching him at this point well clearly he'd be worth a couple first round picks as a reclamation project but heading into this season yeah you had jordan love herbert purdy sure kind of all together you would have said you could have argued about which one do you think is the best one who's gonna have the best year this year everybody liked those guys in fantasy and now he feels like he's you know free-falled backwards and the only thing you can say in his benefit is like we have watched this with people like trevor lawrence where you know there were moments where it just seemed like it was never happening i don't know clearly you think clearly a couple number one picks at this point i mean it just gets worse and worse you really have to buy i don't know about the contract stuff it's offensive line you really have to 100 buy into if he has a decent offensive line he's going to be uh gangbusters not sure receivers are bad too yeah that's so good that's the other thing yeah he's like how is he going to come back with these receivers with one minute left no no one time vidal had that one explosive play and it was almost like you forgot that they could have explosive plays there are moments when he's like turning the corner and like they ran a design draw with him at one point he turned the corners running like a gazelle yeah and and then you know five plays later he's just staring down somebody throwing right to the corner yeah he's not afraid of the position there are a few guys that seem you know a few guys that seem you know a little out of it taking too many hits and his confidence is shaken and that's how you know his confidence is not shaking so go ahead oh here we go drake may drake maybe you owe an apology i'll stop i'm not doing this week to drink maybe you should recant your words drake maybe you were wrong 26 for 34 374 yards four tds 425 plus passes and uh my take which i said last week and i'm going to triple down on this week i think he was having a confidence issue and i think vrabel and mcdaniel's completely changed the personality of this team last week and this week and they're going for fourth downs until the cows come home and basically until his balls dropped back to where they were before they were just like we're gonna be aggressive you don't have a choice we're doing this they ran a lot of motion with him last week they did something this week they ran a lot of motion with him this week and they're just basically trying to make him stop thinking and just start playing again he threw the best collection of deep intermediate and short like he was just awesome he was so good love this scrambling everything i was very proud of him i'm excited for you five touchdowns 400 yards five touchdowns total he's back no matter what happens the rest of the year he is back back back four to three fantasy points i love this last week what was the line like two and a half three and a half i guess five and a half i was like this is stupid it should be five and out enough with the raiders you got revenge underrated home field advantage missing both of our starting cornerbacks they're listing names of guys you would no one's ever heard of some of these corner i was worried about this game yeah i don't know how do you get the raiders and jets back to back after coming in first last year what is going on three and one raiders yeah it's still at least you know i don't know he still does take some dumb sacks i don't think as you remember it i listen he was gunslinging it again and he has his confidence back that's all that matters and the team in general just seems to now feel like the last year's team again i don't know if it'll be last but this team had a malaise in the offseason the first three games of the season where it just felt like well they were the offseason they were the year from hell candidate yeah um that has now been passed to somebody else and now they're three and two and if the bills lose tomorrow night they're gonna be in first place in the afc's now granted it's a bit october and there's a lot of football to be played but they're they're looking good they lost will campbell today they lost trae van henderson i don't know how badly hurt will campbell is but the first round pick came in and was kind of lights out yeah i left tackle right so we'll see campbell's a knee thing a knee strain or something louis either knee or ankle they were pretty quiet about it after all right and then uh henderson and then aj brown should be back at some point pretty soon it's good you have no excuses you gotta go gotta get to the super bowl again i don't see how it doesn't happen i will say this what's your total here yeah i am that's i don't think you could look at a single afc team and say i'm scared of those guys sure but that's just the conference this year yeah you know the best teams are in the nfc west but uh whatever the case they did a great job the last two weeks rebuilding him because it was bad it was bad in boston i was in boston it was bad but this was all anyone talked about what the fuck happened to this guy um and sometimes that can move in a direction that you can't get back ten and a half did you ever think three weeks ago like how much would you have bet on under ten and a half three weeks ago because now it's even odds i mean their playoff odds to make it yeah i think we're plus 150 something like that two two weeks ago 140 they were definitely positive chargers i think we can lock them in the fourth place they're minus 400 on fanduel i can give you yeah i can give you casey denver vegas chargers as the one two three four and that's plus 145 or i could give you casey vegas denver chargers and that's plus 338 which one do you like uh i'll go casey denver i predicted this would be the slide for vegas this is what's going to happen just think you know the 210 thing is nice but you don't i mean genti had what 27 yards rushing i think that's going to be a problem the rest of the way they're not going to be a problem they're not going to be a problem like 38 yards rushing the whole game and he has i have him in fantasy he has the red flag next to him every game yeah and you just don't know if he's playing or not you just have to look the whole time and make sure you don't start mike washington i can't i can't say it's great um so you're not going to apologize trick me that's fine we're gonna do this every week you beat the raiders i'll apologize if they beat the mighty jets next week i i felt like because steven a had to apologize two different times this week yeah i feel like i have to apologize like you know i want to i want to be like a like a brother to him like you know we're in the same business sometimes all right so i talked in texas chainsaw massacre uh we were talking about serial killers and i did a whole thing about how i thought ed ed gein was overrated because he he only has two murders and it's like if you're a serial killer you know i want you to put up numbers ed gein i discounted your murder total and i have to live with that you have only two documented murders mary hogan 1954 and bernie's word in in 1957 what the hell but it's clear talking to many many people over the last 72 hours that ed gein killed many more people than that okay there were many unsolved murders in the 1950s that ed gein almost definitely did so i'd like to apologize to ed you know what i don't think it's enough i don't think it's enough i don't accept the apology i don't think anyone in social media is going to accept that apology okay you have to go face to face with ed gein ed gein i'm just i gotta rethink this all right more games packers bears speaking of quarterbacks so we were worried about jordan love the mad bomber amazing 25 completions for 367 440 plus yard passes and the bears the backs got crushed in lambo a game that a lot of sharps liked i stared i we needed our fifth ringer 107 pick today and i did not like anything left on the board and stared at all these different games and couldn't just couldn't and finally i was like fuck it bears ben johnson i'll ride with him i don't like how the packers look and almost immediately regretted it but um it's so weird because if you blur your eyes this was an easy game right but uh i i can get why people don't trust the packers but the backup or maybe the backup to the backup coming into lambo you know the packers lost foolish ways against the Bears last year and all you're really hanging it on is Ben Johnson and that handshake at the end of the game. So I thought we could see this coming. I didn't see five turnovers coming. I'd also like to apologize to Ed Gein because I had this kind of cradle robbing like going into the graves, grave robbing, whatever it's called. Yeah, cradle robbing. And I said it was really weird and I considered that to be more of like just a weird thing, but it is possible he was robbing bodies that he had murdered. So again, I'd like to apologize to Ed again. Tyson Bajan and Lambo. Ed Too Tall Gein is getting a lot of air time today. I discounted the guy. Tyson Bajan and Lambo, I think he lost. Tyler Huntley grabbed his favorite backup. Who are the favorite backups now? Mariota, who just gets hurt all the time. Tyler Huntley, who every once in a while plays and looks like a spitting image out of a factory of like a Lamar replacement. And who else do you like? What do you mean like? Two is fun. Two is really fun. Two you like. Shador Sanders is always fun. We'll get there with some of these guys. So you took nothing from the Packers-Bears game? No, I just, that offense was, you know, Marshawn Lloyd, I know his numbers weren't great, but just seeing him get in the end zone, like you talk about like a confidence builder, like that's fun. He did that twice. These 50-50 balls to Watson and Golden, like I don't know what's real. Like that secondary seemed so bad this week. I don't think you would see that again. But yeah, Love was 360 plus and two touchdowns on one or something. This was a huge game. Huge game for Green Bay. They still have it tough the next five or six weeks. At the Lions, at the Pats, at the Rams, the Bills, that's all in the next month and a half. It turns out predicting stuff is hard. Yeah. Because the same logic you would use for the Packers, like they can't be that bad again. This is a great spot for them. They need this game. Blah, blah, blah is the same logic you would use for New Orleans who got their ass kicked by Minnesota. You know what we need? We need like a how or somebody like as soon as we get over our skis about something, as soon as we say like, oh, Dak, look at Dak at 14 to one for MVP. Like we need someone to nudge us. Like if your wife has a has like four Negronis at dinner and you're double dating. And then she starts talking about like her health while she was in college. Like, hey, come on. Don't don't. This is going to come back to launch. It's something that's happened to you. What? No, no, no, nothing like this for talking shit about her college days. No, we need someone to nudge us. Does that stop talking about because we went too far ahead of ourselves with the Bears and underestimated well, they can stop us right now because here are things I wrote down about Brock Purdy. Yeah, clearly the MVP top five QB. I trust right now. Maybe top three reaching my home's levels. These are things I have in my notes. Yeah. So maybe how can taste me taste him gal. I mean, this is this is Ed Gein part two, I think for you. Yeah, I'd like to apologize to Brock Purdy. No, he was goddamn Purdy's good. Yeah, I had Seattle minus three. They're up 2621 after completely fucking up the first half, including doing a zone block handoff with 13 seconds left at the end of the first half from their own one that took forever develop and the guy fumbled it. All of a sudden, it was a touchdown in the end. So it was dumbest fucking thing other than all the other stuff we've already talked about today. Just sneak, go forward two yards, sneak again, kill some time and punt. And yet they're up and Purdy and Mike Evans just started cooking and you just felt in the moment watching and you're just like, fuck, they're not going to be able to stop these guys. There's not a lot of QBs that make you feel that way. I was looking at Mike Evans injuries going into this week and I was like, I'm betting his under total yards like we might as well take advantage of these 49ers injuries when we can. I know you can't bet like under snaps for a tackle or something, but they lose like four guys. He's a miracle. He's like 33. He's been doing this forever and he does the same thing. It's like he's like he's posting up an 11 year old, you know, the way he makes these catches like, yeah, just get me the ball. I'll tip it to myself with one hand. It's it's stupid, but now Purdy, we said this if they won in Seattle, he'd be MVP. The lead guy is plus 250 Allen plus 350 plus 250. I'm not allowed to. Oh, no, I am allowed to bet on it. I was kidding. It's an NBA. I can't. Oh, I see. Yeah. He's been the guy that jumped out the first five weeks from a consistency standpoint. Other people have had good games, but I think every game you watch, I haven't seen him have a bad game yet. Golf's been really good too. I think I don't think golf's throwing a pick this year. Isn't golf like touchdown zero picks? Yeah, that might be right. I mean, they were, they were fantastic today. That was the best Lions game. I think since the Barry Sanders days, what we watched today. So if you're a Niners fan, I think you're starting to feel a little team of destiny ish. This is outrageous. Like this Purdy thing where you get him with the last pick in the draft and then it becomes this big conundrum of how much do you pay this guy? What's the ceiling? The guy has gotten better every single year. Yeah. Like he is one of the best quarterbacks in the league. It's not an argument anymore. And you hit the jackpot with that. So I don't have to worry about that. You signed Mike Evans who you know, you put together this Mike Evans, Debo McCaffrey injury prone team that on paper seems like all of them are getting hurt. Evans has been unbelievable. He even taunted the guy that you saw that at the end when he went to look at the guy's Jersey who was taunting him. That was great. Yeah. And at the every game they lose somebody that just doesn't matter. It just bounces off them. Next guy comes up. They have beaten three of the four conference champions from last year already in five weeks that we had the final four teams nuts and and they win all kinds of games like this game today. They said 38 points off turnovers most since 2017 in an NFL game and of course the Niners are going to win. They'll win. They remind me of some of the early Belichick Pats teams we had in the 0304 the second and third teams or it's just like if the game's close, you feel like you start to feel like they're going to win it. And I don't know. I'm just amazed and I should have known. I said the house on Thursday. I was like, I just don't want to mess with them anymore. I don't want to have the opposite side, but I didn't like enough games this week. Took Seattle minus three and they did not take care of it. Well, I think like we got we have to get rid of the get get the injury name out of our mouths with the not. It just doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter that as long as the MVP leader is in there, he'll figure out and he got sacked today like they got to him a couple times. It did doesn't get doesn't get phased at all. You know, he really is. He puts it all together. I mean, he and Donald had almost identical stats. If you reverse the touchdowns and interceptions, but I had so much more confidence and yeah, and you know, and yeah, Donald has the better receiver there too, but didn't matter. I wrote down Seahawks Sam Donald panic level right now has to be like 7.2 where you just feel like you hit lightning in the bottle. We saw this happen when we were in college. Mark Rippon was really great for one year. Remember one year where he was just just tweeting everything killed everyone. Yeah, and just was like the Mad Bomber for and then it was gone. But if I'm a Seahawks fan, I had that stupid end zone fumble. We gave 21 first half points. They had 31 total yards of drives and got 21 points out of it. So that was stupid JSN who I thought got I don't know if he got concussed, but I thought he definitely hit his head on that final drive and took a hit didn't seem what didn't seem great, but they stayed in and then ends up dropping that pass that he's caught all the time. And I was like, of course, of course, this guy's not 100% right now. He catches that in his sleep. He's gotten he's gotten too good because he's expected to catch everything. Now he would have had to climb the ladder like six feet and everyone's like, how did he drop that? Like that? That would have been a great catch. Well, very similar to the West Walker catch in the second Pat's giant Super Bowl when Brady threw it and he had to jump up and you do that thing with your hand and up in the air. It's a really hard catch. I had to bring up the pads, but then Cooper Cup seems like he gets the first down and now we have this rule. I thought I knew all the rules, but this new one where you're jumping out of bounds, but there's this invisible window in the sideline. And if the ball crosses the sideline, it's out where it was. But I've also seen them call it the other way. I don't know what to believe anymore. Is there really no way soccer's just got better technology on this than we thought we had chips in the ball? Yeah, it should be something where the I don't know, like a pillow sideline where it would be because I guess I did too. I don't know what you would call it on the field. I get that. It's maybe hard to overturn, but I thought he got it too. I would have said he got. Well, the guy was 10 feet away facing the play and had no idea if he got it or not. He's like, he didn't get it. And that was it. It was done. So if I'm a Seahawks fan, I'm mad where we are and I'm worried about Darnold, but ultimately like, let's just get a running back. What are we doing? Yeah, you know, Wilson Halani like hoping Zach Charbonnet comes back from a torn ACL. Like, let's just trade for Tyler Algier. The fucking Cardinals are having a fire sale right now. Let's just go get him. We just need one battering ram running back for situations exactly like the one that cost in the game today when they're on the one yard line and they have to hand the ball to Halani who's, you know, five foot seven hundred and forty pounds. Yeah. So just go go get Tyler Algier. Give him a fifth rounder. What What about Ed Gein? Is Ed Gein available? Get it. See? Do you want me to apologize to Ed one more time? I don't know if he's watching. Apologize for him when he makes the practice squad of the Seahawks, yeah. I just, I feel like I don't want Stephen A to be the only one that apologizes. No, God forbid. The, oh, we have Steelers, Colts. Yeah. Pittsburgh's now three and two. Well on their way to being a mediocre seven seed in the AFC. Can't wait, can't wait to see Rodgers in the playoffs again. Colts two and three on their way to being seven and 10. And Jalen Warren was great and this game really wasn't worth discussing. The Colts just aren't very good. I don't think they are either. I, Jalen Warren was great. That's the only thing I'll say. He was great. Like if he could bust out in these games, it's sort of a different offense. He had 188 total yards. The last three weeks he's had over 300 on the ground. So, but I don't, I'm with you. I don't think the Colts are very good. I didn't see Carly Rae Ursae there. Was she on the sideline eating Primanti's? Didn't see her. That became my whole thing. People, people love to pull other narratives into that story. Other than that, it's just weird that an owner's online. On the sideline, taking notes, standing next to her coach. Like, I'm going to think that's weird, whoever it is. You're not going to apologize for that. It's all Zed Gein. I apologize to Zed Gein. That's all I'm going to apologize for. You'll have like, those will be like cross-offs. Yeah, I wonder if like she approached Steichen and said, hey, Coach Steichen, hey Shane, we have more first downs, more passing yards. We're winning time of possession. We haven't turned the ball over and we're losing by double digits with no time left on the clock. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I'm just trying to learn. I just want to, I just want to learn. Shane, we're down 16 and the game ended. Yeah, it's all over. Lions Cardinals. Lions are down three and two with a bye next week and their DBs are coming back. Yeah, oh, I wrote this down. Goffs, 1485 yards, 12 TDs, zero interceptions. And it's funny watching them, especially in blowouts. They're clearly trying to get different records for Gibbs, which is great if you have them in fantasy. Anytime they're within the four, three, four yards, he's getting the first carry every time in garbage time. They keep them in. Their starters were in three drives too many. Like he's trying to get 50 points, trying to send a message. So that was fun. I like it. I mean, it's an enjoyable watch. I like it too. Like they're, they're, it was amazing. They were expected to beat a bad team by almost a touchdown and they actually went above and beyond expectations and they did it. It's a nice fantasy watch. I do want to. And then you have the Cardinals who gave up 148 points in four games. So there you go. Well, can we just say, Jeremiah, I love dumb pick. You definitely wasted this year. Probably going to waste two years. So congratulations getting the extra year, whatever the signing, but stop doing that teams. You're not, you're not ready to get a running back in the first round. Don't do it. Yeah. You, you, you probably would have been good with, with James Connor and signing out year. You've been okay. Yeah. The real problem is that they blew the Harrison pick apparently because they, they traded him. This game did lead to the single greatest moment in ringer gambling shows. Slash wise guys, history three years ago when we were doing the Sunday show, I texted you that we had to come up with a crazy parlay. Oh, this was your terrible idea. Damn. Yeah. I'm going to take credit for it. Yeah. If you want to apologize for anything, it's this. Yeah. It's like, everybody should pick a prop. We'll put them together. And, and then you guys decided to call it the family meal. Everybody brings something. I think we did it for Thanksgiving first. Yeah. Touchdown score. Yeah. Yeah. The touchdown prop. Everybody brings it. You try to hit it. And the goal would be, it has to be at least 20 to one. And you guys have done this for two and a half years and not hit any of them. And then today, the first three go down really quickly. All we have left is Trey McBride on the Cardinals touchdown. And it's 43 to one touchdown. White guy who looks like a tight end on the Cardinals. No, it's Quintoriano. Keegan Quintoriano. Quintoriano touchdown. Oh, that's not Trey McBride. Big leader. White guy. Yep. Later, another white tight end touchdown. Oh, he did it. No, it's Quintoriano again. Whatever his name is. Two touchdowns for him. Yep. And then the Arizona's down 100 points. McBride's still in the game for some reason. And tell them what happened next. Just like a, I don't even know what you would call the route because McBride's back was completely to us somehow. But the ball was thrown from the middle of the field. And he makes a catch. It's fourth down. It's our only hope. They're down 30. Yeah. They throw it to McBride. There's two minutes left. Yeah. By the way, McBride screwed us last week. Otherwise, we would have had a 30 to one. We went three for four. And he gets it. He makes a catch. I don't know that I've seen it. His body turned completely. He climbed the ladder. He tipped it to himself. Grabbed it. Somehow got his feet down. I was like, they're going to call one of his feet out. Even if they were in. God bless. 40 to one odds. We hit it. We made up almost two weeks worth of, two years worth of losing. With that one parlor. It just goes to show you, gambling's the best. Gambling's the best. This is like when they make the movies where people gamble and they win and everybody celebrates. Yes. They're in the control room at Apollo 13. Right. The thing is, on Fando, when you do those profit boosts, if you did like 25 bucks, 10 bucks, whatever, and you did that bet, that's like a 70 to one bet. And you hit three of them. It wasn't even 11 o'clock a.m. yet. And I think you had two or three of them. It was very exciting. We had Bowers and Gusecki. The family meal we finally ate. We finally ate in a family meal. We finally did it. Browns-Jets really quickly was terrible. God decided Cleveland wouldn't be four and one. Browns missed an extra point. Browns are still up two with four minutes left in the bad weather. Botch a punt snap. Jets end up winning. This game had 15 punts and the botch snap was the 16th. Right. So we're not going to talk about it because if you have 15 punts in a game, we're ignoring it. We listed the coaches to be fired. Aaron Glenn is vindicated for a little while now. Like, is it because the defense is decent now? I was thinking about how we make fun of coaches every week. And I did the single worst coaching decision I think I've ever done in fantasy football this week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was on the plane flying back from Boston last night. And it's always longer to go east for west. And I'm just tinkering with my lineup and looking up stuff. And I become convinced that Roman Wilson is going to have an unbelievable day against Indianapolis. I'm googling. I'm watching Celtics Sixers preseason. I'm watching college football on my iPad. And I'm googling Roman Wilson and googling quotes about him and getting more. And then I'm googling Parker Washington, who I also have. And it's like that same targets. They're having trouble. They're spreading the ball around Phillies good against receivers. I do the all time overthink. I decide to start Roman Wilson who gets hurt in the first quarter of the game. And to make matters worse. The game before, Jags, Eagles, Parker, Washington, 28 points and I end up losing by 20 and I would have won if I just cut the Washington in and I was some, but this is must be how Sirianni feels. Yeah, but it's all clock management that hasn't, um, you know, you weren't, you weren't asked to land the plane and make this decision to say this was worse. I started Roman Wilson over Parker Washington. Why did I do that? Let me ask you when you look at the projected, because that's what you ultimately look at, right? Projected score. And if it's 5.6 to 5.8, how many times out of 10 are you going with 5.8 regardless of anything, right? Well, this one was like 9.4 and 6.8 or something. Washington was higher and I just, oh, that's, that's stupid then. Yeah. You deserve it. Yeah, no, it was really stupid. And I lost the hedge. Um, speaking of stupid, I wrote down this joke for Joe Burrow, who had 180 yards for touchdowns today against the terrible Miami team about how he loves putting up good stats against bad team. Joel M Burrow. Oh yeah. You know, he's always lights up like, yeah, I like that. I don't mind that. I did great against these bad defenses. He threw the nine pass catchers. I guess that's the best you could say about it, but yeah, he had under 200 yards and, and that chase catch was 40 of the yards. Right. Yeah. Ridiculous. Like it's off his, uh, shoulder pad, but on the other side, I I'm now feeling completely bad from Malik Willis and I have to hand it to him. I think he's trying his best. It doesn't have fancy tight. By the way, they're almost covered. That guy hit fucking hit the upright. It's a, it was a push. Yeah, it was a push, but it was six and a half all week. So, you know, uh, okay. And then Minnesota, new Orleans, uh, I don't know what to say about it. Minnesota is five and oh, congrats. I don't, I just looked a little better this week. The saints look so bad on Monday. So bad. And then people love them this week and I couldn't get there, but I. Yes, I didn't want to take Kyler Murray. I love them. I stayed away completely. I love the saints. I, you know, I finally had to break down and show my wife the new like household budget. I keep a ledger. I'm very detail oriented, you know? So I like to see what's set aside for each category. So it's like 1200 a month for people, food, 600 a month for dog food, couple grand for insurance, little league fees, all that tutoring. I try to sneak it by her $33,000 a month betting against the Vikings. And, uh, I was like, I'm sorry. This is just what it has to be. It's going to someday it's going to pay off. Good teams will beat them. What the Vikings pot. This game. I keep going against them. Stay away. Just stay away from them every week. Sick. You're going to be 50 in and out. Oh, you're going to be addicted to Oxycontin. It's going to be terrible. Uh, guess the lines. Oh, do you want to talk about your stupid team? You didn't already talked about on the wise guys. I thought we could, uh, no, I already talked about it. I don't know. I mean, I don't even know how to rank these anymore. Like the worst, most embarrassing. Yeah. Like this is three a month. So. We're terrible. And we're favored to win the division. I went to lunch with Zoe and her boyfriend at halftime. Cause the game was terrible. And it's like, Dallas is screwing around. They're going to win. But we kind of had on the phone. We get to the restaurant and Bucky Irving had already busted his one long. All of a sudden it was, it went from what? 10, seven to 21, 10 or whatever. Yeah. And Dak is bouncing balls. He's getting so glad I'm not watching this. Cause I would have been mad. Cause I had something. Anyway, this episode is brought to you by seven up. Okay. This one's a case for conspiracy bill. Let's bring them in. Ever noticed lemon is everywhere from lemon recipes to lemon scented cleaning supplies. And when it comes to lemon lime sodas, why is lemon always first? There's a reason a shadowy organization called the Lemonade has been padding the stats, keeping big lemon in the lead for decades. But let me tell you something. The sip is about to be flipped. Seven up is fighting back, swapping lemon lime for their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. Seven up flip the sip. This episode is brought to you by PNC bank in today's sports. Everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. Yet it's proven time and time again, that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking no different while everyone else tries to outdo each other. 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So I guess the lines on the plane after I researched all of Roman Wilson's, um, last 14 months of his life, um, on the plane yesterday, you got some lines. I did a preliminary guess the lines and then I tweaked it at five o'clock before sending them to Eduardo. And this was one of the ones I'd tweet. Initially I had Seahawks minus three after watching them today. I downgraded it to Seahawks minus two and a half. All right, good. I like hearing that. That's good for me because I had two and a half and it was two and a half and it went to three. So we tie. You should have stayed with it. I overthought it. Like Roman Wilson and Wilson part two, Roman Wilson zero catches and a red flag next to his name. A half hour into the game. Well, maybe Ed Gein will murder him and it won't be your problem anymore. Parker Washington, 27 points. Sunday's marquee game. Um, it's not a great week. I wrote down a Bill's Raiders for this. It's not. Oh really? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You're probably right. Well, if we don't include the night games, right? Oh no, you're right. Even if you do. All right. Bill's assuming they're probably loose to the Rams three and two need to win. Um, Raiders try and avoid going back to even two pretty lousy defenses that you can throw on. I think it'll be a fun game. I had bills minus six. You can't say six. Don't you have to say a half something? No, I said bills minus six. I said six and a half. It's five and a half. You get it. Hmm. The biggest zone does. You're teasing that bad boy. You're going through the zero by week. I think that goes up. Hmm. I worry about a lot of the top five NFL players. You just worry about when you watch them week to week. Cause Brock Bowers is on my list. Worry about that. He's not going to go. I just worry about it. Yeah. They're just throwing the ball all the time to him. He's taking big hits. He's trying to extend plays. It's he's like, it just feels like, uh, I wouldn't say from a longevity standpoint, when you watch him, you're feeling great about the guy who's had to have his bones shaved. You're feeling, you're feeling worried about him. He's already had his meniscus. Yeah. I wonder if the bill, if the Raiders lose this game, are we in Mendoza range at that point? And do you think about trading cousins? Oh, I don't think so. Okay. So wait, I mean, you know, you just said they're going to come in second, the division, right? Is Mendoza just not going to play this year? Like I, I never really believed that, that when they were saying that was what was going to happen. I know everything I read and listened to, they say that was, that's the plan. They're totally fine. I'm not playing him. Hmm. So another London game. God damn. I might bet this one too. But what was the rule? You would circumvent it. No teasing the London game. Oh, that's that was no tease in London game, but the teas did win this week. They did. Jacksonville hosting the Houston Texans and Marvin Harrison. So they got to hang out there. Houston got an easy game against Tennessee and now flying to London. And I think the Jaguars are going to be, the minus two and a half point favorites. They didn't even talk about that game. You completely skipped Texans. Did I skip that one? Yeah. I thought you did it on purpose. Oh, Texas Titans. It was just terrible. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, once you saw the teaser was coming in, you got it. Two and a half is right. I said one and a half. Well, the thing with the Texans Jags in London this week by week giants, home chargers. So they, this is four and four, just sitting there for them. Right. Can't word five games, three touchdowns, three picks. And, uh, the Titans have scored, uh, 58 points a season. That's see, I don't know if you put Sal in there for first coach, but there's no way he survives this year. Right. He's, he's completely a one and done. They get a new stadium next year. They get, uh, what else do they have? They, well, they just fired a bunch of people that worked for the team. Like a bunch of higher ups got fired last week, last week. Yeah. This, this is another one where some, where somebody's kid inherited the team and doesn't seem like they know what they're doing. Right. Right. He wasn't, he wasn't a Madden player like us. Yeah. Kids like that. He would have started Parker, Washington watchables. I only have two next week's really bad. Yeah. Falcons bears. Uh, I sent this pick to Eduardo before I watched the Falcons game and you got to go with it. There's a nice graphic underneath. You can't, you can't turn on it. Do we think Pennix? Like we think we broke ribs. What happened? I guess that's true. Yeah. I picked Falcons minus two and a half. Is there a line? I think that's true. Oh, all right. Well, I'm going to win anyway. I said bears minus one and a half. It's bears minus three and a half. Yeah. But is that cause Penix is out? Well, I kept my original line and you were, I'm just saying, yeah, Michael Penix. I mean, it seems like he would be out and, uh, injury Caleb Williams would be in, uh, Ooh, a rib injury ended his night, but it's nothing season ending. Mm. So there you go. You know, it was season ending, uh, Tua. I was just going to say, they begged him to come back. Jesus. Falcons. All right. So you win that one. That'll be an interesting game. That could actually be a really good offensive game. Potentially. That'd be fun. The other one I had for watchable, which probably isn't a watchable, but, uh, I like when Cleveland's home. I think their games are fun when they're home. They're home for Baltimore. I don't know if Lamar's coming back or not. I assume he probably is. And I have the Ravens. Minus three and a half. All right. I get this. I hit it exactly four and a half. Yeah. Now every AFC North games kind of interesting. That'd be a fun game. Nope. Five fairly watchables Patriots home for the jets in New York. Mm. I had the Patriots minus six and a half. I hit it exact seven and a half. Wow. You're killing me. Jesus. That's it. Let's go. Let's go. I don't know that I'm probably not teasing this. Oh, come on. Uh, are you kidding me? Are you with all the flowery record on teases? Um, for, for a ring around two and three. I only lost one. Yeah. I lost last week with the, who do we both have Buffalo, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think we're able here's, here's the case. You have to like this on a teaser. You just did 10 minutes on you making me apologize for Drake. Maybe in the offense is back. and everything else. Well, I want to see what the injuries are. One of the cases is that Vrabel talked to the Jets and the Pats before he picked the Pats. And it felt like he was a little annoyed by the Jets because I remember this came up last year. Okay. Eagles, Panthers. I guess this could have been a watchable. Although I don't think the Eagles are watchable and I would think their fans would also argue they're unwatchable. So maybe fairly watchables is right. Eagles, Panthers in Philadelphia. Should be a fun, friendly, supportive crowd. Always. They were almost all Eagles fans today. They seemed like they were rooting for their team. Unlike the stateside Eagles fans. They did a thing that I don't like for announcing because this happened with the Pats with JJ Watu where you have the announcer who has just an incredible amount of ties with the team involved in the game. And in this case, it was Jason Kelly with the Eagles. I always feel like it's a bad sign if I have the other team, if I pick them or have fantasy guys. Oh, really? Interesting. I was like, oh, man. Now I have the announcer rooting against my team. That's a Joe Davis knock on the Dodgers when he does the Dodger games. What's the knock? Well, he's their regular announcer. And then he does the Fox games. Everyone's like, how could he? God forbid he says anything good about him. In baseball, you just can't seem to win whoever the announcer is. You just get accused of hating everybody else's team. With that said, I really felt like Joe Buck and Tim McCarver hated the Red Sox in the mid-2000s. Who didn't? Wait, what'd you have for this? I have Eagles minus two and a half. Yeah, you're going to get it. I said three and a half. It is one and a half. Imagine that. Eagles can't move the ball. That's so weird. I guess. It's like a really, really statistically bad offense. Yeah, but Sirianni apologized. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Maybe they'll communicate. They'll communicate better, like you said. I thought that made it worse. This was my fault. This was on me. It's like, it wasn't your fault. You weren't out there trying to tackle Amir Abdullah for 50 yards. Like, you guys should be able to get a tackle. It's true. Buck Steelers in Tampa. Buck Steelers, all right. So, Baker Mayfield says, I'm ready to go. What do you do? Baker Mayfield said, I'm ready to go. Yeah, I'm ready to go. I can start. I'm ready to play. You book, give him a nice massage. I'm like, oh, what time? How about one more week? It's 1 p.m. on Sunday. Sorry, you got to be there. Maybe you'll come in late. Yeah. I think the Bucs are favorite in this game. I have Bucs minus one and a half. Oh, wow. I got it exactly. Steelers minus two and a half. Yeah, I was wrong. Wait, did I read that right? Yes. Even the best can be wrong. I don't think the Steelers should be favorite in this game. They're such a weird team. I don't think, I don't think it's possible to pick this correctly. Yeah, this, this is like the gambling problem. The gambling problem ad should be next to this game, just under the line. Yeah. Please, please talk to somebody. It should have its own 1-800 number. It should be the Steelers minus 1-800 minus 205. Rams against the Cardinals. I guess this could have been a poop-fecta game. It's in LA. Oh, man. I should have gone higher on this. I have Rams minus 10 and a half. That's exactly what I had. It's 12 and a half. Hmm. Yeah, they're not, they're going to make you earn it on the three-team 10-pointer. Short week, though. Brissette, two for a backdoor. I don't know. You know who's not great? Jacoby Brissette. Oh, really? We were talking about, how so I was talking about that today. He's, he's better on, like he was really good in that Chargers game, but it turns out everyone's good against Chargers, but there's a reason he's better on that. He bounced around and started a bunch of games for a bunch of different teams. Like, he was, he was pretty bad today in the game. He took some weird sacks. Except for garbage signs. Right? Yeah. It didn't seem like he could do more for them. He does some really strange things. Chiefs-Chargers is our last one. I probably went too low on this, too, but I guess it is a kitchen sink game for the Chargers. Every week's kitchen sink game. Hmm. Chiefs in Kansas City have Chiefs minus eight. Oh, you got it. It's eight and a half. Let me add these up. They don't want us to tease this. Six to six, including ties. Wow. Four games left. I'm probably taking the Chargers. I can't hit an upset, you know, on the Friday show we call it man's best bet. I cannot, I can't shake the Chargers. I'm going to take them again, I think. Chargers are 0-4-1 against the spread. Wow. Still have not covered a game. Seems worse than that. Poop Fecta. Colts-Titans in Indianapolis. Ugh. Carly's going to be writing notes down like, is Kim Ward? Are we sure he's a starting quarterback? I'm going to ask Shane this after the game. Carly, Carly, you can leave your clipboard home for this one, I think. Hey, Carly, just bring your iPad. You have bigger problems if it's that going. You can probably watch a show during this game. The Colts aren't good either, though. I put this right in the Vegas zone. It's Indianapolis. I have Colts minus four and a half. I got it exactly. Six and a half is the answer. Ooh, that's too high. I don't think so. I don't think the Colts should be favored by that many points. Yeah, but are we in Dolphins territory where the Titans are just like, let's just. It's an automatic plus six and a half? Yeah, that might be. They're pretty bad. Giant Saints. I'm sorry. This is a poop-fecta game. It's in New Jersey. They're going to win again. I have Giants minus one and a half. So that's what I had. And that's what it was. And it flipped. It tic-tac'd. And it's Saints minus one and a half. There's not a lot to like about the Saints. Like, they lost their left tackle. Kamara, they lost, but he's also pretty washed. Mothershocker, not impressive. 96 yards today. Well, they can't block for him. Defense is a mess. Sunday night. So you're up one? Because I think I'm going to hit this next one. I think I'm up one, yeah. Go ahead. Yep. Sunday night. This is actually a good game. Green Bay at home against the Dallas Cowboys. We haven't seen your team in three days. It'll be another seven. And sadly for you, it won't be another ten after that. Oh. Packers at home. I have minus two and a half. Oh. I got it right on. It's one and a half. Oh, you beat me. Yes. You did it for Jacoby. Back on track, Jacobes did it. Packers minus one and a half. I saw it open that Dallas minus one and a half. And then I think people are like, no, that's really, really dumb. Is it just the rest thing? I guess. I was impressed with that Packers performance. I think they could bump that. Well, they seem like they've fixed the offensive line a little bit. They did lose Hargrave today, who seems like he might be out for the season. So that's not good. But, but it seemed like their offensive line is in better shape. And Watson, who's this guy, I feel like all of us have had in fantasy is finally becoming like a top five or six receiver now. So every game he's made, making two big plays, like one and a half. Watson and Golden are going to be so open in the end zone next week. They're going to be, it's going to be like they're receiving kickoffs almost. Well, that's why I thought it was going to be two and a half. Yeah. They don't get respect here. They're the Packers. Monday night, Niners home. For Dan Quinn, Primal Fear Chang, and the Washington Commanders in San Francisco. I put this in the Vegas zone, minus five and a half Niners. Oh, well, we actually split it because I said nine and a half because they're the best team in football and it's seven and a half. I don't know if, I don't know. Niners, Patriots, done. We're good. I just want to know how many people are hurt in the Niners at this point. I just want to see the injury report. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Chang, what do you think a therapist would tell Chang? Like you have to pick a side? Like it would, it would behoove you to pick one side and stay with it for a year. I think the therapist would say, David, I think you're using the Washington Commanders to trigger different emotions that you have as an outlet to just be mad. I think that's what you're trying to do. You should sit with Dr. Melfi. That'd be good. Chang, go to visit Dr. Melfi. It would be amazing. You tell me, what do you think the Commanders should do in the off season? For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tramphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tramphia is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tramphia, proper training is required. 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Today's panel is brought to you by corner brought to you by paypal holiday rush is coming you can get ahead of it with paypal this holiday shop your favorite online stores with paypal like ebay for collectibles fanatics for team gear walmart for electronics choose to pay now or pay later at checkout plus the paying for you can split your purchase into four payments with no interest no late fees shop now with paypal what do you got well um yeah this is just more about the icono money pit here so my youngest harrison harris so as we call him 12 years old his friends all surf out here and he kind of but not really he's a decent boogie boarder and that's what i try to push him towards i'm like oh man you're such a good boogie board but he knows what i'm doing so he's like shut up dad i know he wants to because surfing is expensive as i'm about to learn so there's a surf team here at his school and he's not good enough to be on the team but the coach says he's going to let him harrison and a couple friends train or practice with them um and i'm like all right what's what's this going to cost me is this going to be more or less than the vikings fund that we we set aside each month i have a feeling it's going to be more so my wife's like oh well he needs a he needs a fiber like what's that she's like fiberglass board they call it fiber um i'm like all right she won't tell me how much so that's scary when she won't even tell me how much those are and i'm like uh all right well we're gonna have to pay for him to be on the team even though he's not on the team she's like no no he doesn't have to pay i'm like i guarantee purposes these kids are not going to hit their heads like he has to be connected to the team even though he's not on the oh yeah you're right you're right actually that did you know we're gonna pay so that's more loot all right uh when are they doing this like three days a week from 5 a.m to 7 a.m i was like all right so let me get this straight we have to pay god knows how much for this fiber right tack on the insurance and now we have to get them there at 5 a.m so he's exhausted before school and work and we're exhausted but he's and he's not even on the team what this is an unbelievable deal and we can't say no like my father would say no to this i wouldn't even get the word fiber out i wouldn't get the first syllable of fiber five five yeah five foe gone that's it this is it it's just a money grab you just have to say yes because then you're the friend that's not included and god forbid you sleep in three days a week i'm so mad about this money grab well so when i did the parent sports podcast surfing wasn't even a thing didn't even occur to me that to wake up at five in the morning with to put your son's expensive fiberglass surfing board in the car and then drive him somewhere and then what do you do go get coffee he's a port-a-potty like you have to stay there go see dr melfi and and cry that's what you do she opens the doors early damn so you got roped in it's so early it's so and i you know you see the tides here around around us around like the there's like tsunamis coming this is gonna be terrible there needs to be a store that for high-end seemingly high-end sports like this yeah you know like tennis rackets or you know it's like oh well you got to get it everyone else has it but it could almost be like when you buy the fake diamond ring for somebody i like that where it's like no no this is a fiberglass one but it's not it's like some sort of knockoff fiberglass thing that you got in you know somewhere downtown i like that a lot they should do that you think karen bass will put that on her platform i think i think she might all right um i mentioned last week about my daughter and her weird eating habits and how much she loves pickles yeah and uh my wife so going backwards my wife when she was pregnant oh did your wife had food fetishes for anything when she was pregnant yeah i don't know i think it i don't like think it hit pickles but ice cream was definitely a big thing yeah so one of my wife's things were pickles so this led to a whole debate about pickles and i was like oh my god i don't know was it because zoe and her belly loved pickles and was telepathically so we were talking about that it was we've talked about pickles a lot she calls me she's all excited calls me she's like you're not gonna believe this um this pickle company that's in um that's in la kaylin and kaylin that's the one i mentioned in the grove they were all excited we talked talked about pickles and they reached out to zoe and like we hear you love pickles that's so great we want to throw you a pickle party when you're in la and serve her all these different pickles and you would have thought like she got pulled out of the price is right crowd be like zoe simmons you're now on the price is right and she's running up to hug bob so anyway she comes home for thanksgiving and like it's seeing us as like number two and potentially having special pickles or whatever is going to be her number wait a minute what is the pickle party entail they just send a bunch or is it an event they're gonna have a whole thing of pickles they want her to pick her up she can try i don't even know i didn't really understand it and i hope it was a real thing and not somebody impersonating a pickle place does she have friends that like pickles too or is this gonna be just her at this party i think she has a couple friends that like wow my wife my wife will probably could get talked to don't pick her too anyway pickles what can you find out what can unite america does kaylin and kaylin make surf words um fiberglass pickles i just had a pick i mean it's the same shape kind of right so uh just just go big with it yeah that was today's parent corner it was brought to you by paypal get ahead of the holiday rush enjoy the flexibility check out the pay down or pay later with no interest no late fees when you split your purchase with paying for a shop now at paypal set yourself up to shine this season paying for subject to approval learn more at paypal.com slash paying for paypal inc n m l s nine one zero four five seven i forgot to mention my dad's dog what happened did you see the movie the movie room where the ladies held captage we've talked about it so this my dad got this puppy and just kept the dog like in the kitchen with gate around you know the kitchen and then um now she's allowed in one other room and she's basically in two rooms and then they'll walk her outside every once in a while but she's not like i wouldn't say she's had a lot of time to do that but she's had a lot of time to do that but she's had a lot of time to do that life experiences because you know my dad's a little bit older right and zoe has decided that um he's basically like we're like oh can we take ruby out for no no she's afraid of trucks you can't like there's always an excuse why ruby can't be alone with everyone else so zoe started calling my dad ruby's captor and you can't take the dog away from the captor and this dog now who's afraid of trucks and all these other things because um the dogs so we we were arguing about this the entire time i was in boston with my dad oh that's the dog need more life experiences all this stuff i remember you were bummed when he took on a puppy to begin with right really really upset and and he did admit that we were right and they probably should know oh really i do love that it is a really sweet dog well invite the dog to the pickle party just does not like dump trucks or trucks or anything like that um all right so before we go we have to talk about our friend paul cohurst um i'll give you the floor yeah so uh i mean this is not going to be a lot of fun but i'm going to talk about the dog easy we have this dumb fantasy league which a lot a lot of you are familiar with it's me and bill and uh kevin hench and john ham and our friend damashek and our friends tony and brad and uh our friend paul cohurst and so usually you and i would report on who got voted out right so the winner every year gets to kick out somebody and it happens at the draft right so this was your dumb idea that you came up with great 20 years ago yeah yeah yeah just a brilliant idea but um so we didn't make a big deal usually we announce and we have a story about what happened we didn't make a big deal out of it because the guy who won last year is our friend paul cohurst he had pancreatic cancer for six years and he announced um this year that he's voting himself out so he didn't feel like he had uh much time left and that was his wish and not nearly as funny as years past so we were all devastated he insisted we were like we don't even want to go on with it this year or who knows we'll see what happens he's like no he insisted we continue and he wanted to follow along so i made a deal with paul cohurst and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told paul cohurst that he wanted to go on with it and i told writer's assistant at Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2003, right? He was right there from the very start, right? Yeah, we had two writer's assistants. He was one of them. Yeah. The nicest guy, like the meanest possible comedy writers, making fun of each other all day. And he was always a little bit hands-off because he was just such a good guy. It was like not even, you know, he's just always nice and in a great mood. We nicknamed him the Dutch Mook. The Dutch Mook. And then it just became the Mook and that's just what happened. Yeah, I don't know how people think of writer's assistants' jobs. Maybe it's different, but this was, a lot of you guys were coming off the man show and a lot of jaded, crazy personalities and the writer's assistant has to Big personalities. Put people on schedules. So it's not a desirable position for 2003 Jimmy Kimmel Live. But you're right. Everyone enjoyed him immensely. The fellas immediately were amused by him. He did have Dutch descent, so we call him the Dutch Mook. It just seemed to flow. The girls all wanted him to be their staff boyfriend and we had staff boyfriend, girlfriend and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was number one. Like they used to, my cousin Mickey said, we used to call him number one. We'd call him to his face number one. So, I mean, I'll say a few things about the Mook. He loved his team. He's from the Bay Area. He was a 49ers fan. They won for him today. Good job by them. He loved the Warriors, the Sharks. Sharks. In fact, he named his fantasy team, the 49er Golden State Sharks. I think it was like five different names. Golden State 49er Sharks. So he went to the University of Oregon, would not have been happy with their performance. So he was always very cool and just very likable. And he was always like ahead of the curve with stuff. Like even Sudoku, right? Like the dumb puzzle. He was like, he got people involved. He's like, no, no, no, you got to play it like this. And he had such a funny way about him and we would make fun of him. You remember Trapped in the Closet? I had forgotten about this. The R. Kelly, when it was okay to talk about R. Kelly. Remember he had those videos and he was the one who discovered it for us. He's like, you got to see this R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet. Jimmy did a bunch of parodies. It was good. I could say a million things. He collected pictures of floss pics, those dental floss pics. And he would spot them everywhere. And he was like endlessly entertained and confused as to where he would find them. Like he'd be like at an ice skating rink and he'd find like a floss pic on the ice and he'd take a picture and then he'd want to talk to you about it. Like, how did it get there? Like, were you like skating with your gal? And you remember, oh, wait, I have a poppy seed stuck in my bicuspid. I got to get it out. And he was always like so interested in such dumb stuff. And we'd love him endlessly. He also loved golf. He was an excellent golfer and loved golf. Yeah. All the dialogue and Tiger's run was happening when we were there. He would win tournaments. He would do as a golfer himself. He probably could have been like a club pro at some point. So we had that golfer personality of, uh, yeah. Yeah. And he wrote golf books. Uh, he ended up working for golf.com. He started me off betting player props with golf. And he's like, that was when like Tiger was like even odds minus 300 to win tournaments. Like, no, no, but you got to bet him in the third round. Cause Saturday's when he hates something like, what is this? And then next thing, you know, I'm watching golf all day Saturday. I'm on, uh, on against all odds. He'd give his picks. His analysis was excellent. Um, fairway rolling a couple of times. Yeah. We'd gone fairway rolling. He would take a major his best. His favorite bet was for a major to go to a playoff, um, which paid like plus three 50. You know, if it's tied in regulation after 72 holes, 19 majors in a row, didn't go to a playoff. I'm like, Mook, what are you doing? You're getting plus three 50 for something as he's like, I'm telling you, it's going to happen. Thankful. Finally it happened. Yeah, I know. Exactly. Well, he was also, he was a spectacular fantasy player. So talk about that. He's won the league four times since the last time I won. And I feel like he invented the, um, tripling down on an offense that I like move before a lot. Now a lot of people do that, but he, his team was always good. And you, you like see him and he'd be like, Oh man, I'm going against the Mook. Um, but yeah, he ended up winning last year when he, when he wasn't even a hundred percent. Yeah. Um, but he was just, so we had this league, you know, some of us are good friends. Other people are in the league or passed around. And, um, I, you know, like we had some people leave. We had, there was in the mid two thousands, there were people that made a trade that it ended up that part fell apart. But for the most part, it's, it's been this group, I think for 15 years or so. And I was talking about it on different pods and voting each other out and stuff like that. And he was probably the single most unlikely person on the planet. I mean, he was the only person on the planet to feud with Brad. Oh yeah. But that's, that's where this went to another level. So you can, it really was great. I mean, yeah, I have four titles in the last 14 years. I look back on today. He made the playoffs in five of the last seven years. He's the greatest fantasy player, if that's possible that I've ever met. And this is not an easy league. Like after week two, everything's gone off the way. We have the same sleepers, everything. Exactly. But with the Brad thing is you're right. It took it to a different level and Brad always like a very abrasive personality. It was, it was kind of friendly, but then Brad would always send one shitty email. And that would be like, Paul's like, well, if I win this year, then I'm voting you out. And sure enough, he kicked Brad out three times, three times. He kicked himself out the, this year, but he kicked Brad out three times and it provided the most entertaining moments in the league's history. Like Brad would be incensed. This happens at the draft. So Brad's excited to pick he'd be incensed and confused and he he'd walk out the wrong door or he'd spill on his way out. He'd spill everyone. Speaker 3: A couple of videos. Speaker 2: Yeah. We have videos. I think we have a picture. We're showing pictures of Paul. There might be a picture of Paul. Speaker 3: Awesome. Long email change of him, him insulting us, insulting everybody in the league, being furious. Speaker 2: Yeah. If we were doing a draft at someone's house, he'd scream at the neighbors on the way out. So like I was thinking about like Brad and Paul were inadvertently like the greatest comedy team of all time because they certainly brought you as much enjoyment as anybody. I remember one time Brad was so mad. He left the restaurant and thought he was walking down the stairs and was out by the fire escape balcony after Paul voted him out. And we thought he slammed and he left. And then like we heard some banging and then he came. Then he's knocking to get back in. He comes back in. God damn it. It's a fire escape. I can see the mook smile just just waiting for him. Yeah. Brad didn't want to be embarrassed and take the walk of shame through again. So he waited like 10 minutes. They're like, I don't know, like we weren't going to be paying it. We're going to be gone or something. So yeah. And, you know, towards the end, I talked to him last week and he was confused. First of all, I couldn't find our podcast. And I was like, yeah, no, it's on their mook. And I sent them the link. And and and he was confused because we shared a team for a few weeks if we had won or lost. And I think the medication was like we lost a hand. She's like, no, no, we won. Right. And then I like, yeah, yeah, we I felt like Rocky talking to Mick and you know, like, yeah, we won. So he got us these rings, you know, when he was on Zoom with us at the draft, he did show up on Zoom and he got us these replica Super Bowl rings. And when we all saw him from our favorite team. So he bought one for me and you and Hench and Damoshek and and Tall John. And and I don't even wear a wedding ring anymore because my fat ring finger swells up and I'm going to force myself to wear the mooks. Ninety five Cowboys replica. And listen, I, you know, I'm going to, I'm not going to sum it up better than his wife, Molly, did. So and this girl's the rock of all rocks. And I don't think she'll mind me quoting her Instagram post. She said Paul was magnetic. He drew people to him, all of us, and he drew the best out of us, all of us. He reflected back to us our goodness until we remembered it ourselves. So yeah, so find a floss pic and take a picture and say a prayer for the Dutch mook. Well said. I'm doing the thing where I can't say anything good for you. No, it's just you did a good job. He was a great guy. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's it for the pod. I'm glad we did that, though. Yeah. All right. So you're doing. Now it seems stupid to talk about your wise guys. Tomorrow, micro bet Monday, me and the bundle are showing up and we're going to turn the halftime of Rams, Bills and Ray's Guardians. So. All right. Well, in the pod. Yeah. You know what? I have a mookie Wilson. I'm in honor of the book and the 40 year anniversary of the Mets. I'm interviewing mookie Wilson on Tuesday. Nice. There you go. A lot of book stuff. All right. Thanks to Gal and Eduardo and Chris and everybody at the ringer. So good job. Good job by your buddy. We'll see you on a Netflix next Sunday and I will be doing my pod. We had the over-unders with Zach and House coming on on Tuesday. So thanks for watching. Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president D.C. or Wyoming game problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLE or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 888-79-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling, upline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24 seven support Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text hope and why in New York for Louisiana call 877-770-7867. This episode is brought to you by whole foods market. Fall is here and whole foods market has everything you need for cozy meals, seasonal treats, and easy entertaining. Elevate your hearty dishes with tasty bone and beef short ribs or New York strip steaks with no added growth hormone. Hormones are antibiotics. 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