"The Three Mirrors: The Key to Soulful Fashion" - Part 2

The purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. It is no substitute for professional care by your doctor or your qualified healthcare professional. Never disregard a delay professional medical advice because of something you've heard on this podcast or in any linked material. Guests who speak on this podcast express their own opinions, experience and conclusions. Dr. Shirley Neither endorses nor opposes any particular opinion discussed on this podcast. The views expressed on this podcast have no relation to those of any academic, hospital, practice, institution or other entity with which Dr. Shirley may be affiliated. Welcome to Forever Fab, the podcast on fashion, the art of living and all things beauty. This podcast is curated by Dr. Shirley Madir MD as the definitive source of her listing wellness through beauty. This episode of 15 Minutes of Fab is a continuation of the last week's episode. And it is again dedicated to self-reflection. The title is The Three Mirrors, the key to soulful fashion, part two. When I was a surgical training resident, I was responsible for something called journal club. And basically it was like a book club except that we weren't reading books for fun and they certainly were not fiction. We were instead reading an entire medical journal, particularly plastic surgery journal. And in journal club, we would meet, so the department heads, the supervising surgeons, some of the other residents and training would meet to discuss pretty much each and every one of those scientific papers within that month's journal. It was my turn to be responsible for the quarter. I was responsible for journal club, which pretty much meant I was the one who read the entire journal cover to cover every single article, every single scientific literature contribution. And I would summarize it for everyone who sat in that room. It was a lot of work, you know, on top of taking care of patients, studying, not sleeping, but 24 to 36 plus hours, doing grand rounds, etc. And I would be accountable for that, it was a lot of work. There were times when I was somehow able to read the entire journal article and had my notes and all my summaries intact, like it was tight. And there were some journal club days where I could just barely read the abstracts and the conclusions of each of those papers within that journal. And I would be less by the end of my quarter or six months, however long my term was. One of the surgeons, a supervising or attending surgeons, came up to me afterwards, since it was my last day on this particular day. And he said to me, I just want to thank you for doing a very good job, an excellent job at presenting at journal club. And if we're doing your best and putting as much into it as you could, and not only that, I want to thank you for dressing so well and professionally each and every time, no matter whether you slept or not. And of course I was ecstatic, humbled and honored that he recognized my effort, my intellectual efforts, my academic efforts in leading journal club. But I was equally floored, honored, super thrilled that he actually noticed that there was intention in the way that I dressed. And that no matter what I was going through, whether or not I slept, whether or not I just came from the emergency room, from the operating room, whenever I showed up, I showed up professionally attired and looking as best as I could. That stuck with me because that was well over 15 years ago, and that story has never left me. It has had tremendous impact on myself, my career. And it actually also echo something my mother would tell me, which is that always do your best to appear your best. So when I was thinking of creating this podcast episode, as I mentioned in the first episode, I came across some of Carl Jung's teachings. And I'm going to read you the second part of the highlights from a particular YouTube channel, which you can find in the links on the summary of ForeverFabPodcast.com. So the highlights, again, begin quote, young often said that psyche is contagious. That the psyche is contagious. Your inner harmony becomes a silent invitation for others to awaken theirs. When you cultivate self-respect through your appearance, you attract not only success, but connection, opportunity, and vitality. Those who consciously embody their worth receive life with open hands. They don't chase validation. They magnetize it. This leads to an essential truth. Taking care of your appearance, especially for some of us after 40, is not vanity. It is leadership. Each morning, you step into the world presenting your best self. You give others silent permission to rise with you. Reflect for a moment on the people you admire most. How do they carry themselves? How do they move through the world? I assure you, they understand that outer expression is a reflection of inner mastery. Perhaps you think, "I'm not in my 20s anymore. My body has changed. I don't really have the energy to put so much time and effort into figuring out what to wear, or whether or not I look good in my clothes." Yeah, that all may be true. The maturity should not be an excuse for neglect. It should be a reason for refinement. At 30 plus 40, 50, 60, your appearance can and should express wisdom, depth, experience, and quiet confidence. You're not competing with those who are younger than you. That's not your role at a certain stage. You are defining what powerful maturity looks like. Pause again for a moment. And then, if you have one nearby, go to the nearest mirror. Look into your own eyes and ask yourself, "Am I honoring the gift of this body, this life, this chance to do something extraordinary in the world?" This opportunity to do something amazing for myself and my family, if your answer is, "Yes, keep going." If it's no, then today, not tomorrow, not Monday, not this weekend. Today is the perfect day to begin. Every day that you delay caring for yourself and your appearance, you are postponing caring for your life, you are delaying your power, your confidence, your vibrancy. Have you ever realized that your appearance is not just the first impression you give others? It's the first impression you give yourself each morning. It is the first signal your mind receives about who you are and what you are capable of. Imagine how different your life may feel. If every morning, when you saw yourself in the mirror, you felt genuine pride and enthusiasm for the day ahead. That energy would flow into your conversations, your work, your relationships. This is not fantasy, it's psychology. The mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what it perceives as real, right? When you look good, your mind believes you are powerful, capable and worthy of success. That belief shapes your actions and your actions shape your destiny. Here is another technique that embodies this truth. It's called the mental wardrobe. Each morning as you dress, do not just put on clothes, put on the identity of the person you are becoming or want to become. Each morning as you dress, again, do not just put on clothes, dress with intention. If you seek to lead, dress as the leader within you. If you want to feel more creative, wear the colors and colors. and textures that express your inner artist. If you want to feel confident, choose every detail as if it were armor created for your spirit. Your clothing is not mere fabric, it is symbolic energy. It reminds you are unconscious who you are and what you stand for. In young in terms, it is the ritual of individuation, the act of uniting your inner essence with your outer world. When the inner and outer self align, you no longer live by habit, you live by purpose. And from that place, everything in your life begins to reflect the beauty, discipline, and meaning that already live within you. Another principle of young in psychology is that of the reflection of the psyche. He believed that how we present ourselves is never superficial. It is symbolic. The body becomes a mirror of the soul. The expresses our inner order and our inner order as well as our inner chaos. When you align your outer image with your inner vision, you create psychological coherence and coherence always attracts transformation. Imagine if you decided that your physical appearance would become a living symbol of your highest self. Wouldn't that be powerful? Try a practical tool inspired by Young's method of self observation. It is called the 5-minute mirror audit. For those that are the mental wardrobe, and now this is the mirror audit. So tonight, before going to bed, stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself 5 questions. Number 1. Does my current appearance reflect who I truly wish to become? Number 2. What three things can I improve immediately? Number 3. What self-care habit have I been avoiding? Number 4. How would I feel if I saw someone who looked exactly like me walked into a meeting? What message am I silently sending to the world through my appearance? Be brutally honest with your answers. One belief that the transformation begins only when we face our own truths without masks. Then choose one specific action you can take today. Or tomorrow, since it's bedtime, you know, there's tomorrow. One specific action you can take to enhance your appearance. Make it something small, yet intentional. It could be as simple as pressing your shirt with greater care, or as meaningful as booking an appointment with a stylist. If you have access to one, it could be making a decision to floss every night. Wash your face every night. Remove your makeup every night. If you wear makeup, what matters is that it's concrete and achievable, because lasting change is not built from grand gestures, oh no, but from small, consistent acts repeated over time. So they become habits. When you change how you appear no matter how small, you change how the world perceives you. But more importantly, you change how you perceive yourself. Your appearance is your silent language, your personal symbol. Where you speak a single word, your image already communicates yourself worth, your discipline, your values and your intentions. Ask yourself, are you communicating excellence or neglect, confidence or doubt? Does your presence say that you are in control of your own life, without you have lost direction? These are uncomfortable questions, of course, but they are necessary. So you confront the reality of the image you project, you cannot transform it, you've got to become self-aware. And perhaps you're thinking right now, this all sounds so superficial. I mean, wherever Dr. Shirley got this podcast or this content from, it kind of sounds like "Hey, Derey, it's kind of telling me that I am not enough, that I should do more, that I should look better, that I mean really." So you may also ask, shouldn't people judge me by my character or my intelligence or my creativity or my spirituality and not my looks? Okay. Ideally, absolutely, all of it. Absolutely, ideally, yes. But at least young would remind us that we do not live in such an ideal world. We live in a symbolic one. In the real world, people form impressions within the first seven seconds of meeting you. Within those seconds or in that time, your appearance speaks louder than your words. This is not about fairness, it's about awareness. You can either become a victim of perception or learn to use perception as a tool for your empowerment. Even for your appearance is not vanity, folks. It is self-respect. It is a declaration of personal discipline and alignment between your inner values and your external image. Now when is asking you to put on tons of makeup if you don't wear any? No one's asking you to put on a ball gown or overdress or a simple event or just going to work. Each morning that you invest some time in presenting yourself with care, you are sending the message to your subconscious that states, "I am worth it. My life matters. My dreams are valuable." When that message is repeated every day, it stops being an affirmation and becomes a belief. How powerful is that? And then that belief eventually becomes your reality. That's pretty epic. It is also the alchemy, the chemistry of transformation that young taught when the inner and outer worlds meet in harmony, the self is reborn, possibly. Here's another powerful tool, one that aligns deeply with the teachings of Carl Young. It is called the ritual of the three mirrors. Every day, look into three different mirrors. It could be handheld, it could be a small pocket mirror, a compact, a big mirror that's hanging, every day look into three different mirrors. The first mirror is quite literal. It's the physical mirror where you examine your outer appearance. Make a few observations to yourself, no judgment. The second mirror is the emotional one where you ask yourself, "How do I feel about myself today?" Does my external appearance reflect my inner or ideal emotional state? The third mirror is the aspirational mirror where you question, "Does the way I present myself today bring me closer to the person I wish to become? Or does it pull me away from that vision?" In summary, three mirrors, three different mirrors, first mirror physical. What do you see? No judgment. Simple observations. The third mirror is emotional. How do I feel about myself today? Does my external appearance reflect my ideal emotional state? Third mirror is aspirational. Does the way I present myself and what I'm seeing in the mirror? Does this appearance bring me closer to the person I wish to become? Or does it pull me away from that vision? Interesting. Write down what you've observed. Keep a journal. This practice helps you develop a multi-dimensional awareness of yourself image in the subtle ways it influences your destiny. Young often suggested that what is external is only a mirror of what lies within. Excellence in one area of life tends to expand into every other. When you cultivate the habit of excellence in your appearance, that same discipline begins to flow naturally into your work, your relationships, your health, and even your finances. What young might describe as a healthy attachment to your image, particularly for people who are older, what this means is that every single day without exception, you dedicate intentional time to present yourself in the best way possible according to your values. Not out of vanity, but out of self-respect. Not for approval, but as an act of inner alignment. It may mean that your wardrobe should reflect who you are becoming, not who you used to be. Your exercise routine should not be punishment, but a ritual of vitality and strength. I know that's a hard one for me too. Your self-care is not an expense. It is a sacred investment in your future self. Now, I'm asking you to spend hundreds of dollars on skincare products, but just small acts of self-care. They don't have to be expensive. It's the understanding that your appearance is not merely aesthetic. It is, again, symbolic. It's a psychological language that communicates your level of self-respect, consciousness, and inner harmony. We call that your outer appearance reflects your inner world. This was not about superficial vanity at all. It's about personal integrity, that every part of your life resonates in harmony. If you speak of excellence, but your image reflects neglect, there's a fracture between the inner and the outer. If you talk about discipline, but cannot discipline yourself to maintain your personal image, there's an inconsistency in your psyche, young taught that true self seeks unity. A state where thought, emotion, and action are aligned, your appearance must therefore be consistent with your values, your ambitions, and the message you wish to send to the world. And again, your appearance does not have to cost you hundreds or thousands of dollars. It does not. When you care for yourself, you feel better. When you feel better, you act better. When you act better, you produce better results. And when you achieve better results, you naturally take even better care of yourself. This is the upward spiral of consciousness, a force that accelerates your growth over time. It's like compounding interest. But the opposite is also true. When you neglect yourself, you begin to feel worse. When you feel worse, your actions deteriorate. When your actions decline, your results suffer. And when your results fall, your self neglect deepens. This is the downward spiral, a slow disconnection from your authentic self. You become lost. So the choice is yours. Right? Upward spiral or downward spiral. These are other examples. Three precise actions to begin your upward spiral today, if you choose. Action number one. Remove one piece of clothing from your wardrobe that no longer serves who you are becoming. It could be something that doesn't fit. I've got a lot of those in my closet, or something that's worn out, or simply doesn't reflect your current identity. Or you just don't really like it anymore because you bought it impulsively and you thought, "Ah, this would be cute and trendy, but it no longer is. Donate it. Give it away." This symbolic act tells you subconscious. I am releasing the past to make space for a better version of myself. Action number two. Add 15 extra minutes to your morning routine for the next week. Not to sleep longer, but to invest in your appearance in your presence and the image that mirrors your evolving consciousness. Not at all about perfection. Again, it's about alignment. The visible, visible, visible harmony between your inner state and the person you are becoming. That's what it's about. Use those 15 minutes to exercise, to choose your clothing with more awareness, to take care of your skin, to pay attention to any aspect of your appearance, you may have neglected, to sit still, to meditate. Action number three. Take a full body photo of yourself today. Ooh, that's a tough one. A tough one for me. But keep it. Not to criticize yourself, but as a point of reference. And in 90 days, after consistently applying these principles, all of these principles that we just talked about and that I spoke with you about, after 90 days of consistently applying them to take another picture in the same place, same background, same angles. There may be a difference that surprises you. These actions might seem small, but they form the foundation upon which you will build a complete transformation, a transition. Do you realize that your mindset, if negative or destructive, may sabotage your growth? Carl Jung taught that when we neglect, or what we neglect in the outer world, reflects and inner neglect. So it's never too late to decide to present your best self to the world. You are never too old to care about your appearance. You have never lost so much time that it isn't worth starting today. This applies for anyone at any age. But for those little bit older, for those over 40, your appearance should communicate wisdom, experience, stability and confidence. It should say, this person has learned what works in life for herself and is applying it. Remember, your appearance is an investment in your future, not an expense in your present. This requires decision, consistency, and the understanding that caring for your appearance is caring for your destiny. And it does not have to be expensive. Practice it this week. Don't wait until everything is perfect. Don't wait to begin working on losing weight, to put yourself in a position to make more money, to feel more motivated, to begin meditating, to begin being silent, to drink more water, to take care of your skin. There's so many little things that you can do. Start where you are with what you have because your life is happening now. Every day you postpone presenting your best self is a day lost. Every morning you settle for less than your best appearance is a morning when you undervalue your potential. Your appearance is not vanity, it's strategy, it's applied psychology, it's personal leadership, it's a declaration to the world that you take your life and your goals seriously. Reflect on these questions for a moment if you feel they're applicable. One, what opportunities have you missed because your appearance didn't match your competence? Two, what relationships could have grown stronger or could have disintegrated or a better purpose if you had projected more confidence? What version of yourself have you been hiding behind an neglected exterior? The time to act is not tomorrow, not when you feel ready, it's actually now because motivation comes after action not before. Remember, as Carl Young taught, the external world mirrors the internal one. You cannot embody excellence or inner excellence while neglecting your outer form. You cannot preach discipline and appear on discipline. You cannot speak of transformation and remain unchanged, remain in the dark in the way you present yourself. Don't remain in the dark. You are one decision away from transforming your life completely, slowly, step by step, one small action at a time, the decision to honor your potential through your appearance, this decision to show up as your best self every day and you are also one decision away of understanding that taking care of your image is not superficiality. It's responsibility to yourself. Decide now. Act today. Your future self will thank you forever. And when you look back a year from now, you'll remember that this very moment, you'll remember that this moment does the point where you stop underestimating yourself and began presenting to the world the extraordinary person you truly and already are. This concludes this episode of 15 minutes of FAB on the Forever FAB podcast. Thank you for listening. And until next time, stay beautiful and forever fabulous inside and out. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Forever FAB, the podcast and fashion, the art of living and all things beauty curated by Dr. Shirley Madir MD. Live beautifully and help make the world a more beautiful place.