The Surprising WW1 History Of Hennessy | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 269

Dude, Maya, that's a turn to cut on my brain. - What's your whines? - I wear a hat to win. - Where do you wear a hat to win? - Are you making me race this bro? - I'm making you race. - No, you're encouraging it. - You wanted to come on, I said. - How did we get here? - I don't know, but it's great. - Cut that, cut the (beep) out of that. - Come back to everybody laughing really hard at my jokes though. (laughing) ♪ Say hi to my life is racially ambiguous ♪ ♪ And then this hair is fucking fabulous ♪ ♪ Don't know a dark joke disposition ♪ ♪ There's a fat electrician ♪ ♪ Look up the unsubscribed ♪ - Hey, what is up, everyone? Before this episode starts, I just wanna give a quick update and shout out. Next week, you will see the names of the different subscribers that have $1,000, just to say thank you for just everything we have been able to do. Also, I don't know if you've ever heard of pepperbox.tv, it's a little app slash streaming service that we started. And even better, it has a 14 day free trial. But what do you get over at Pepperbox? Well, actually a (beep) ton of stuff now, an ad free experience. We have hundreds of exclusives, a huge community. We're actually about to do a giveaway over there as we hit one of the big milestones. And you can see shows like kind of consensual, habitually fat, donuts content, just uncensored, weird without the clacks or the blurs. It hits different. No censorship, that is one of the biggest things and why we are so happy with that platform and extremely proud of how far it has gone. Also, you'll have access to the discord so you can chitchat over there. Very, and again, a very active community on Pepperbox. So head over to pepperbox.tv and go sign up for that 14 day free trial. There is something giant around the corner, but you gotta be a member over at Pepperbox to win that thing. - Seriously everyone, thank you so much. Go check out Pepperbox.tv and now enjoy the show. - One, two, three. - Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of the Unsubscribed Podcast. Today I'm joined as always, but always, always shut up. - By Mr. Eli Dartep, Nick, the Fat Electrician. - Oh well. - Chris. - Mr. Kingpix Media. - Hello. - And myself. - King Trout. I don't know if it's because Darnel's black ass was set up front with a sprite. - Yeah, he distracted me. - Of course he grabbed his sprite. - Yeah, that's right. - That's exactly what I started laughing at. - I'm going to hold video about that. - I mean, that's a thing. - I made a whole YouTube video about why black people love sprite. I swear to God. - No, I have to speak honestly. - I was going to take a seat when he's talking to me. When he talked about the history of Hennessy, I was immediately like-- - He was hooked. He said, "Henny, we're going to talk about that." - It's World War I bro. - Yeah, World War I. - We're about to get a history lesson. Oh yeah, hey, we got key pins, what's up? - There's two pins at this table. - Yes, sir. - Jeez. - Has terrible credit. - Yeah, Connor. - What? - How crazy is that? - What did I do? - One of us has really good credit. Really good credit. - It's your shit ain't real. - What are you? - One of you has a home. - Yeah, fuck off. - Sorry, do you like sprite? - Sorry about my-- I do like sprite with no ice. - Oh, okay, good. - It's like, good. - Yeah, I might outplay. - Counting sprite from McDonald's, it's spicy. - Oh yeah. - Why is this so spicy? - It is spicy. Yeah, I made a whole video about that. See? - Fuck, I just saw it. - There's three of us here right now. Is this a record? Is this the most? This is the most it's ever been. - There's four, you aren't counting me. - Shut up. - Oh, you two count as one together, maybe. - No, no, no, no, I'm 100%. - Are you? - Yes, why does everyone thinks that I'm at so two things? - Everyone thinks that I'm mixed, and everyone thinks that my wife is white. For some reason, I don't know why. Do I give, do I give that off? I gotta ask. I do. - Am I not supposed to speak? - Yeah, I can. - Yeah. - I thought you were. - I mean, I know you're married, but is you married? - Oh, I was a black woman with dreads. - Oh, I don't think you could. (laughing) - Don't know. - And everybody's defense, the bill on your hat is more bent than mine. - It's functional. - Yeah, it's functional like I do. - It's functional like I do. - I don't know. - I'm wearing cowboy boots right now. - Yeah, man, if you're like heads down and you look up, I would be one of those. That's my black friend. - What's your name? - I'm on the good, oh, so. (laughing) - Wait, how do you feel about his hat? I've never seen a black guy wear a hat. - Hey, don't judge me, they don't. - He's standing in the corner. - Don't judge me, don't judge me. - You're like, oh shit, as a strong dude, he looks up as black ass like this. - Oh, what the fuck? - What? - Listen, this is the darkest, the unsub house has ever been, and I'm glad to be a part of it. - If you were born, you'd be pulled over like me. - I am full. We had a tin of windshield. (laughing) We almost got pulled over and then he saw y'all. He saw the silhouette of the dreds and was like. (laughing) - Oh, a tarantula hair over there. - So there I was, on the way here, from the last spot we were at, and Chris goes, I think we're gonna get pulled over. And 'cause the cop, he's going the opposite direction, he turns around, he's like, but there's a car between the cop and us. So it might be for them. And I'm looking, and I see the cop, turn the lights on and I'm like, well, he's not speeding up to go around them, so it's probably them. And then I see them pull over and I like, we're good. We're in the clear. We get to the house. These two fine African-American show up and like, we got pulled over. And we're like, oh no. - That's possible. I get this text message. Go in 40 in the 30s. Despite the car in front of us doing a 50, we don't know that car in front of them. - What do you do? - Which makes this thing even better. Followed by a photo with them being pulled over. - We were not speeding. We were not speeding. We were going the speed limit, whatever the speed limit was. In that area, we were going, that was the limit that we were going. And then we see this traffic stop take place. And then they came in the house hootin' and hollering. (laughing) I said, why are the loud ones here? - I actually, I told Cody today, I had this thought on the plane, and you can cut this if this is too much. - No, it's not, go. - But I said, you know, instead of separating people and looking at skin color, why don't we separate them by volume? Put the loud ones in the back. And then right when I, right when I said that, Cody, he stopped me. But still, think about that. Sorry Nick, bye, man. - You knew him, Mikey. (laughing) - Hey, I'm never meant to take a shit on the plane. I gotta put earmuffs on. It's like, I'm cultured to the back. You're back here listening to a little boozing, talking on the speaker phone, this is wild. (laughing) Sorry guys. - I didn't bite, where's our pineapple? (laughing) - I did not plan on going this direction. But there's three of us here, you know? - It's like a color swatch. - Wow. - Put this man on a camera. - I'm gonna have to race traitor. - We're gonna have to take a knee later on. - Do we not have the studio cam on? - I know. - Oh my god. - Oh goodness. - They provoked my blackness. - They threw you under the back of the bus. (laughing) - Got you ass. - Gosh. If my wife watches this, she's gonna hate it. - Already. - Anybody may don't watch that one. - We just talked about nothing. - I'm just kidding. - She didn't watch my content. (laughing) - Same. - Yeah, same. - Yeah, my wife doesn't either. (laughing) - Wow. - God, I love that person. - That person already starts throwing up. - Good times, man. It's been a long time in the making. - I know. This is your first time on Unsub. - I was trying to convince him. This is my first time at this house. - Wait, what? - That's what we said. - I swear with him. - I swear I have seen you standing like no there. - That was another black guy. I went to-- - These dude are not possible. (laughing) - You 100% been there. - I went to the other house. Pepper box. - Pepper box. - You were here? - No. - I'm not lying. - Am I correct? - I swear it's been a long time here. - You've wanted me here, badly. But this is my, when I walked in today, I walked over here and I snapped a picture. I was like, wow, this is my first time here. And he's like, no, it's not. He's like, no, it's not, shut up. I was confident. Yeah, and I said, I said, he said, he said, he said, he said, stop being so loud. And then he said. - I said, you want to know what you want to know. - That lit boy. - He was getting real mad at these days. He said, you want to them up and he wants, aren't you? And I was like, Connor, he's our guest. - What do you know how to read? - Just 'cause I'm a cook in the army. - I said, what are you doing in the house, boy? - He's like, oh, a lot more is outback. - You're just kidding. - No, that's what you're doing. - Connor actually screwed us. - That's what he didn't do his wallet at him. - Oh my God. - He did. - I don't have anything. - Just don't touch me. Don't take my white and delight some skin. - That's a Mormon joke, by the way, but we'll get into that later. - Do you like some white and delight some? - I hate that. - Yeah. - Oh fuck. - Good times, though. - I mean, hey, this is great. - This is great. I'm coming back next month, so get ready for that. - I can't get it. I have swore you have been here multiple times. - Why am I? - Because we did the, I went out to Jake's house and we went on the range, we shot. There was two times we shot out there. I did man for this morning. - You've never just walked by and then we, - I didn't, they always say, "Oh yeah, the unsub houses is not far away." And I'm like, "Well, where is it?" And they're like, "Oh, it's over there." And I just, I never, never went. - Damn. - Yeah. - We? - I remember him different. - Yeah. - Which I want to probably trust you. - I don't trust my brain. - Yeah. - Well, welcome to Unsub. - It's great to be here. It's great. It really, like this is cool. - How do people who you are? - I am King Pick, which camera's mine? - Psh. - The left one. - There's two of the left one. - My left of your left. All right. I am King Pick's media and I am a content creator and a streamer. I do stream almost every day. I was telling Chris about it. But mostly just content creator. Spent almost 20 years in law enforcement. 15 of that in the National Guard. - Thank you for your service. - Well, you know, it's, it's what I'm doing. - Brrrr. - Brrrr. - Brrrr. - Brrrr. - Hey, as you were. (laughing) But the last two years I've been on active duty, on eight off-orders on the counter drug task force. So trying to balance that being a husband, my wife and I will be married 20 years next summer. I've got three kids, home school, all three of the kids. So I'm very busy. We were talking about scaling content and it's like, you're married when you were 12? I'll be 41 this year. - Jeez, black don't crack. - Well. - We look like shit, don't we? (laughing) - That's what I said last time he brought that 'cause we were together in Dallas. I was like, oh fuck. - I think when I realized that I was older than Jake, when I did Man vs. Morning, I was like, I just, I didn't believe it. I was like, dude, there's no way I'm older than you. And he was like, why? And I was like, you look like shit. You don't want to say, but it rhymes with gray. (laughing) And it's on your face and on your hair. - I have a gray arm hair now. You know, I love this. - Okay, he just found that. - Look at my gray gorilla hair. - He just found that out in the driveway. - No, leave it. - No, leave it. - I want 'em all. - It's like, let's oil it. - I want all, I want all gray. - He's gonna look like a silver back. - Yeah. - That's literally what I thought. - I don't know. - I was like, you're turning into a gorilla. - All my grays are below the belt. - God, that feels so weird. - Yeah. - You have gray pubes. - Yeah. - That's wild. - Yeah. - Congrats. - Green bush the wise. - It's pretty bad. - It's pretty bad. - Yeah. - It's like a little snow cone. - You got a wizard predict. - I do. (laughing) - Gained off the gray. (laughing) - Yeah. - I'm glad I was able to steal this joke. - And that flew under the radar. (laughing) - But yeah, I'll be 41 this year. I've been doing content. I think Nick, actually you and I talked. - Shot shot like three years ago. - No, before that. - Because it was 2021 or 2022. When we were both kind of blowing up on Instagram, which you've, you've, you've got me beat. But I think it was July of 2022. He messaged me and he's like, "Hey, what mics do you use?" And I told him and then we talked a little bit and then we met at Shot Show and then Zach, a lot of conversation. I have to mention Zach, every podcast that I'm on. He told me I'm contractually obligated to mention him. He was like, "Yeah, I do a solid 20 minutes on "when you go on Jocco." And I was like, "I'll give you five." But yeah, so just working with Zach and Eric from echelon and you know, linking up with you guys, it's been interesting as a content creator because I'm not a full-time content creator, but that's kind of the goal. So we're working on it. - There's nothing more disheartening than coming here for the first time and realizing I'm not retarded enough. That's my problem. - Well, it's like they figured this out. - They just go, "Man." - What do you say that? 'Cause I actually am retarded. - Actually, I am. - Wow, that was my impression the first time I came here. But this is, I got picked up at the airport. Cody, awkward, don't know the guy. I just flew in. I just flew in as I as a good chance. I'm getting fucking murdered. I'd never like done anything with any of these. - You like barbecue? - Cody picks me up from the airport like 45 minutes late. Nobody else responding to my texts. Cody, what's up, man? I'm Cody, hey, I'm Nick. Awkward silence. Cody's like, so what do you do? I'm an electrician. He just goes, "Fuck." - Yeah, we don't talk for the fuck minutes. - I got picked up. - Oh no, I ubered to a restaurant that doesn't exist. Nice, yeah, that was great directions. Thank you. I met Eli, Jack Mandaville, and Nick, and everybody but Nick gave me a hug. - Yep. - And I hold that against him to this day. - Why didn't you give him a hug? - Fuck him, that's why. - Wait, what was the first thing he got sent to? Sorry, my memory. - Well, the place we just came from when it was a restaurant. - When it was a different. - Oh, okay. Where did they take you? - They took me there 'cause you told me to go there. - Yeah, and then where were we? - There. - I think they were closed. - It was a permanently closed restaurant. - Yeah. - Oh, I'm so confused, I don't remember the story. - Hey, my bad dog. (laughing) - I'm like, wait, what's going on? Like, what the fuck, was it just closed? It just closed like that day or the day before, right? - Sure. - I don't know, that I remember now. 'Cause I was so confused 'cause I showed up, I was like, what the fuck, are you tech, I forget now. 'Cause the show was helping on that side. And I just remember, it's closing and I was like, and I pulled up, I was like, what the fuck, I was just here yesterday, huh? - Well, my first time here, I got in late and I ubered to Cody's house. And I get there and there's boxes everywhere. And he's like, oh, come on in and I'm like, did you just move in? He was like, yeah, I was like, when? He said, today. And I'm like, are you sure it's okay that I stay here tonight and he was like, yeah, that's fine. And sure enough, I think the second or third day, he was like, hey, I booked you a hotel. (laughing) I booked you a hotel, we got some moving to do. I was like, yeah, that's perfectly fine. - Perfectly fine. - Yeah, this group of friends. I mean, it's a fantastic group of friends. - Oh, no, that wasn't the worst part about the first time I came here. But we were still filming in the dining room. And the house that that dining room was located in was like well off the beaten path, off of a private road with covered in potholes, up a hill in the desert. I'm like, I'm gonna get fucking murdered and I'm like expecting to see, I don't know, a nice house. We turned the corner around the hill, not a nice house. - Shack in the middle of the desert. I'm like, I'm getting killed. Walk into the house. 90 fucking degrees. - Oh my gosh. - Walk through the living room. Fucking 12 fish tanks full of lizards. I'm like, I'm getting fucking killed. And then I'm like, where's the bathroom? It was the hills have eyes type. - Hey, you, you right there. Hey, what do you not like about jeans? - Uh-huh. Today's sponsor is the perfect jean. Wow, they stretch. Did you know Father's Day is around the corner tomorrow? Maybe your dad or Father likes jeans 'cause they will love the perfect jean. On a serious note, these are really comfortable. It's like the only pair of jeans I wear because they're stretchy and they're comfortable. And you can beat the hell out of them and they hold up. Actually, I'm pretty sure all the hosts wear them. So when I'm actually not wearing shorts, I do wear these. I promise, I promise promise. They're worth every penny. Now, the perfect jean does have six different fits giving you about 5,000 different options because they have sizes 26 to 52. So I'm 100% positive. There is a pair for you. A perfect pair for you. And right now, guess what? Our listeners get 15% off their first order plus free shipping at the perfect jean.nyz. Or Google the perfect jean and use code on sub 15 to get 15% off. That's right. Our listeners get 15% off their first order and free shipping. Just head over to the perfect jean.nyz. I'm like, where's the fucking bathroom? I walk into the bathroom, fucking like Amazon boxes everywhere. A toilet that has like the lid down and has dust on it, like has not been used in a very long time. Where are we shooting? Like an old bathtub, like a cloth bath tub with the metal ring around for the shower. No fucking shower curtain. I was like, that's where my body's gonna cut out. Yes. Perfect. And now look at you. Well, that is old house was that is old house. It was, it's like they bought a single wide and then started adding just single wides to that small life. And whatever fashion they decided. Home Depot shit, staple on the couch. Like, dude, it was bad. AC didn't work. You fucking well-related people. I still like you wet-willed Cody. The first time meeting me like, I'm like, and you got me, and then the light just comes down and hits you in the head. I was like, how? Mother fucker. That's just chaos. That was a fucking failure on flux part two because the show's come a long way. I knew I was gonna wet-willing him ahead of time and I sat there and I looked at it. Flucked it and put it in the video 'cause he fucking missed it. But I sat there, looked at the camera like this. Like winding up. Is that a chinchilla and then Cody looks and I shoved it right this fucking year. - Well done. - Hi Brandon. - Hello. - Hey Brandon. - We're recording. - He's back from DC. - I see you. - Good to see you. - I saw you on the TV. - I'm still mad. - I'm still mad. We were both in DC last night. I didn't see him. - Yeah. - Oh shit. - I was just about to tell a Brandon story, too. - Oh, I can't see him. - I was gonna make one up. - They're gonna kiss my neck there. - Yeah. - Home for the- - Brandon, wait, before you go. Here. Stand right here. Get in here. - Okay, we were all of us here, we're at the bar, and we all drove separate. Who got pulled over, dang it, okay. (laughing) - Wait, also we have another argument to settle, Brandon, have I ever been to this house before? Have you ever seen me in this house? - Yes. - Thank you. - Yeah, you've been here before. - You have, you're here. - No, you forgot the memory. - Where I see you. - Every month, yes, the kitchen. - You came over, yeah. - I have a selective photographic memory, and there's not a photograph in my memories of me in this, I have you never been in this house. - I've never been in this house. - You've been in this house. - You've been here before. Everybody but you were members you being here. - I would remember. - From the King of Picks, your mental picks. - Yeah. - We're so retarded. - We're so retarded. - I'm so retarded lighting you. - I didn't know which side of the argument was going on, by the way. - Now, your photographic memory is just stick figures. - Well, it shapes brown or white. - It's also not a photographic memory. Got a memory like a ghost thing. - Connor, there's Connor. - There was a wolf. - I'm telling you. - And then I've got no reason to lie, Your Honor. - I've never, I've never, I don't think I've ever been in this house, Nick, then in this house. - Yeah, that's how I'm like, what? - I was like, we spent a lot of time together at other places. - Yes. - But we, I see you remember here. - Yes, see, I have, how would I have come here and I've not been on the podcast? - No, 'cause you can't hang out. - You can't hang out. - Everybody out there is doing, you did the quiet whisper, like, hey, what's going on now? - Chris, how can you come and be at the house without being on the podcast? Look at the room with seven people in it in front of you. - Yeah, but they've all been on the podcast. - No, they don't have that. - Oh, nobody except Brandon. - Yeah, from time to time, sometimes. - I've never, I swear is it. - There would be a photo somewhere. - I'm gonna find it. - There would be a photo. - So that'll be a challenge for those of you watching, if you can find a photo of me in this house, free, I got merch on Bunk of Branding. You get two t-shirts. - You were here 'cause we went to, I'm gonna find, I'm gonna get whatever the prize he just listed was. - Two t-shirts. - Two t-shirts. - He really opened the restaurant. - We came from today. - We got it like y'all. - We went into it. - You were here and then we went to the restaurant. We came from and then you live streamed from the restaurant. I never left the restaurant. My first time at, he remembers. - Yeah, 'cause we sat at the table by, we sat at the table by the bathroom. - I've never been in, we've been in the studio of the decision of Jake's house, 'cause he like brought that weird ass. - Oh yeah! And we came back here and went from here to that restaurant. - Yes. - He's 100% right. - You've been there. - We sat at the long table by the bathroom. - 'Cause I wrote a brand new in the Cybertruck to my truck, can you say it back here? - You ordered a smash burger. I got a smash burger today too. - Yeah. - Did I drive the Cybertruck? - No, no, no, no. - Or no, you, okay, I, okay. Master, came back, how much up? We all came back here. - 'Cause we also went to his house. - You wanna add Brandon to this? - It is TVI, isn't it? - Brandon, you wanna get added? - It might be. - Yeah, we can just add you real quick, 'cause we just can't be here the whole time, but I can jump in. - Yeah, you're cool. - I do remember going to your house, 'cause I remember the MP7, and I was like, oh, this is cool. Okay, you know what? Okay. - We'll share her mic. - Listen, listen. Okay, I will concede. I will concede. Hey guys, I've been here before. - There it is. - I told you. - I've been here before. - Don't you? - Oh, now you're like. - No, because when he painted the picture, 'cause I do remember doing the livestream. - You were on the, yeah. - And then, 'cause that was just like the group, it was a small, it wasn't the range day. It was just a group of us. - Yes. - Then I remember riding in the Cybertruck, and I didn't realize how fast they go. - Spooky fast. - Speed limit. - They go speed limit. - They go the speed limit. - I didn't realize how cool they go from zero to the speed limit. (laughing) But I do remember going to his house because of the MP7, but I did, okay. Okay, you know what? - Yeah, I was like, I swear. - I'm really good at admitting when I'm wrong. I don't know if you guys know this, and I've been married 20 years. I'm really good. - Yeah, after the first 20 minutes of the podcast, where we argue about it, yeah. - Yeah. - No, it's perfect. - So, where are we? Oh, I was gonna tell my first range day story, talking about the group and everything. - When you just tell Darnell about Hennessey for the love of God, he's about to come back finger nails on his face. - He's been over there. - He's finger-drawling. - Drooling. - Chopping at your feet. - Oh, dead drooling. - I want that purple stock of Hennessey. - But I got invited to a range day. It was my first range day, which you guys had hosted for Cody and Brandon had hosted anyway for a few years. And it was the first one I had been invited to because I met Cody and Brandon. And all you guys when I got came down for unsub, three, four years ago. And for some reason in my imagination, the range day was like 10 people. That's like, these are just off wins, and we come out and shoot guns. So, and I was broke as fuck still am. But I hit up, hit up, Brandon. And I was like, "Hey man, where should I stay at?" Like, when I'm going down, I'm like, "What's close by?" And he told me like the general area or whatever. And I looked at the hotel and it was like $1,200 a night or something. - Oh my gosh. - And I was like, "Can I just like crash at your house?" Like, is that a big deal? And he's like, "I fucking guess so, dude." And then he was never left. - Well, he was eights full circle. But it was so imposing. I thought it was just like 10 people are gonna be there. Like I was like, "Oh, you know, like six people are gonna be in town of the four people who live here." Like maybe we're just, we just crash at each other's houses or whatever. He very thankfully said yes. So I crashed at his fucking house. We show up to the first, which thank you. We show up to the range day and there's like hundreds of people. And I was like, "Oh my God, I have overstepped so extremely." - I got a bigger boat. - Yeah, and then when people are like, "Oh, what, where are you at?" And I'm like, "I'm staying at Brandon's house." - And then that was the night I think you got belligerently drunk and threatened to fuck my couch. - I didn't threaten to fuck your couch. I told you that I would. - Hey, wait a second, that was a problem. - What was the couch wearing, man? - Nothing. So that's kind of the mindset, like anytime I've come down here, I've crashed with somebody. And the only time I stayed in a hotel was when Cody was moving into his house and I was staying at his house, driving his vehicles, eating his food. And the third day, he was like, "Yeah, you got to go." - Well, he just moved in. - Well, that's true too. Also, give him a couple of years. - There's other people that lived there. - There are some living areas. - So when I was on my flight here, show texted me, she was like, "Did you book a hotel?" And I was like, "Was I supposed to?" And she was like, so then I called Cody and Cody was like, "Oh yeah, you can just stay at the Ones Up House." So I was like, "Oh yeah, they said I could stay at the Ones Up House." She was like, "It's full." - We got you. - And I was like, "Oh my gosh." - We booked your hotel, right? - Is it full? - Yeah. - Who's in the other room? - Yeah, it's Kate. - Dark now. - Oh, am I bad? - You wanna see him? - Yeah. - I didn't know I was standing here. I thought he had a place in town. - He was leaking. - He lives in California. (all laughing) - I don't know that. - Dark now, what's my off was? (all laughing) - So, as far as-- - That was racist, I'm sorry. (all laughing) - This is why I don't come to these fucking things. (all laughing) - Speaking of Hennessy, let's tell that story. - Yeah, we gotta get back to that. - Hennessy, history? - That's the title of this episode. - Yeah, Hennessy history. - Yeah, I like people like Hennessy. - I genuinely don't know. - World War One. - World War One. - Yeah. - Yeah, you didn't know that. - The French, the French, like we're notoriously not racist towards black people during World War One. - Right. - They are now. - Well, depending on which God you pray to. (all laughing) So yeah, I mean, it's like a lot of black people's experience, like just getting treated like an equal. And the French, you gotta talk about the doe boys. - Go ahead. - So, America in the early 1900s, before we, well, it was right when we entered World War One. We were like, man, we are about to be involved in this European war. We gotta send a lot of young men over to die. - Who do we send first? - You'll never get to me. - Why do you look at me? - Don't look at me. - It was black, guys. So we sent over a bunch of, a bunch of young black men over to fight against. - A bunch of lions. - A bunch of lions with their shy skills at it. - And where are you at, man? (all laughing) - You picked him up in Atlanta. - No, this is back when they were. - Oh my god, no, you're making me race. - Sorry. I'm making you race. - So what he's saying, I'm gonna translate that. What he's saying is, his racism becomes more present when there's people of color around. Go ahead. - Finish your story. - That's precisely what they said. - That's how it works. - God, he won't shut up. (all laughing) - Hey, hello. Now I ain't doing nothing. Just a little pie, can't. - Sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. - You gotta hold it like a piece of toast. (all laughing) - This is toast. (all laughing) - That is enough. - Oh, really? - Oh, really? - Can you grab me a spright with no ice please? How long have you guys been going? - I have to wait. - Wait, you shorter. - Wait, you shorter than you think. - This is the hour, just. - What are we up to? - Six minutes in. - How long do you take you to break out the knife hand? - Right there. - Did I do the knife hand? - You knife handed. - Editor, hold it up. - That is enough. - Yeah, so the doughboys, we sent over a bunch of young black men as entry soldiers, what was, I might call them. - Was doughboys exclusively black though? - Yes. - Really? - I am fairly certain, yes. - I didn't think so. - I thought that was just a general. - That was a general slang term for Americans. - Oh, really? Oh, well, I know the first group of soldiers, 'cause the army was still racially segregated at the time, 'cause that was until FDR when they dropped. segregation. So there were like black infantry units, and that's who the US sent first over to France, like two the front lines, and they were just throwing men like cannon fodder at the right. Was that the Harlem Hell fighters or was that the one of them that was what I was segregated units. But yeah, so they went to France, and that was the first time that like France is fully integrated. There was like no segregation, anything they could drink in bars with white people, it was no big deal whatsoever. And at that time, yeah, like, Hennessey was very popular, or Konyak rather, it was very popular in France. So all of these like black dude, American black dudes were over in France hanging out in the bars, which also, this was right before prohibition too, going, boozing it up with all these beautiful French women and yeah, came back home and they just had a taste for it. Yeah. Pass it down from generation to generation. It's stuck around. It tastes like shit. I don't get it. I fucking hate Hennessey. 1748. It's 38. So it's one of you bring up 1738, because during my time in law enforcement, we came up with our, we used to use 10 codes. And so we came up with our own codes. So like if you go on a call, I probably shouldn't say this, but you know, it is what it is. Are you getting legal trouble for saying this? No. Okay, then say it. If you go on a hang time on that, maybe I might get a phone call. I might get a nasty. Send it. So if you go on a call and there's an attractive young woman, then you on the radio to your zone partner say, yeah, we've got a 1738 over here. And we did this for the longest time. Like I'm talking, I was like, you know, I'd hit my zone partner, be like, you got any 1738s going on right now. And he'd say, he'd say, yeah, he's like, he's like, it's borderline. And then so it got to the point where dispatch is now like calling us like, hey, what is a 1738? And we're like, oh, it's a tactical term, you know, some of the, some of the SWAT guys use it to, you know, communicate what we have, you know, we kind of want to keep it under wraps. See now that kind of lie works until somebody uses it in the fucking press conference. It's not a lie. It's a ruse. And hear, hear me out, hear me out. If I am using a certain code word or number to describe the situation, which I have to describe personnel, vehicles, clothing, descriptions, all of that, if I'm using a certain code word to describe the situation that I'm handling, fair game. Yeah, if everybody else understands what you mean. Well, then, well, the people who know, no, well, then you don't have to, you don't have to explain the etymology of the code. Don't be using big words like that because he used the word etymology earlier. And I don't think I like it. First off, I'm allergic to that. Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna say the word. We were looking up the etymology. No, but it means to be miserly. Oh, I know the word stingy. Stingy. Oh, look, he's reading it. He's like, oh, why do you have to do that in my frame, dude. He's reading it. He says, it says stingy. And I was like, I would have thought it would have said lazy. And I was like, oh, me and Darnell have a skit written about this. God, I did not sign up for this neither did I. I'm coming back from the fucking airport. And I'm like busy for the last fucking week. And I'm like, you know what? I'll pop in and say hi to my friends. There's no way this will go. There's an alternate reality where I just decided to go home. I hate cords. Oh, don't get me started with the different connections. USB-C. Lightning. The other ones. It should be illegal. But thanks to Ridge Power Bank, it solves all your problems. Ridge is five and one. Travel Power Bank has built-in cables. Oh, look, built-in cables. Also, it can do this. Oh, look, I am charging my phone now. And with Father's Day right around the corner, you could surprise them. I hope writing gets me an extra one. Show your Ridge Power Bank off to the camera. Do not read. They do have 20 watts of power and 10,000 milliamps. I have not get milliamp is a milliamps. Mill MAH. All I know is you get three full charges in your pocket. And again, it connects to the back of your phone. Ba. We do use these when we travel now or just on the go just because it is super small. And usually the power banks are giant and they charge so just a whole bunch of different problems. But this little guy, this works wonders. And like everything Ridge makes, it comes with a 99 day free trial, free shipping and a lifetime warranty. For a limited time, get up to 40% off during Ridge's Father's Day sale. Don't miss on one of the biggest discounts all year. Just head to ridge.com/unsub and you are all set. After you purchase they're going to ask you, "Hey, where did you hear about us?" Tell them unsubsynthera guards. And my life was so much easier. It's like that veteran's day episode. Oh God, the forced valor bit. The amount of people that were saying at the like the 250, they're like, "Why aren't you walking out the fighters?" Oh my gosh. Like fuck off. They were surrounded by soldiers and like, "How many people saluted you?" So, all of them. So there were a lot of, there were a lot of soldiers, sailors, everything of the 250 and like a lot of the guys were like, shy about coming up. For all of you that did come up and we had conversations and everything, you guys were my favorite part. You guys were fucking fantastic. None of them saluted because they were, so they were all in uniform, like dress blues, class A's, whatever. They had their bosses breathing down their necks. They weren't allowed to drink. Like they were, they're basically like, "You're getting the best tickets in the fucking country right now that all of your friends want. Do not fuck this up." I'm saying, "Do you not have fun?" Yeah, dude, they were standing at parade rest. Yeah. So I got an opportunity to get military tickets. And I was on the phone with one of the guys from the state. And he was like, "You have to be in a club." Or he's like, "It's gonna be a great time." Well, kind of. Kind of. Like, you kind of went here? I was in the area. Hell no issue with secret service. No big deal. No big deal. I wasn't like a big deal. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't. But he said that, he was like, "You can go, but you have to be in class A's." And I was like, "My class A's haven't been updated in the last two promotions. I'm not spending money for this." Not a fan of going to DC. I'll put that despite living 30 miles outside of the city. Secret service. That's a dope when that wizard looks so gangster. That's a technical security division of Secret Service. Not that kind of wizard. Let me show Darnel the way. Like the spell cast. He like, "Gand off the gray." Grand wizard. Yeah. Grand off the Nazi. Oh my gosh. That's a cool fight. I hope my wife doesn't watch this episode. Oh my goodness. Shouts out secret service. Shouts out to all the Metro PD guys. Shouts out to all the service members there. That was you guys were fucking awesome the entire time. Despite not having any fun. That a lot of those guys were saying it was funny because I had an interaction with a couple of the seals out there. They haven't written books to my knowledge, but they're working on it. They're working on it. They were saying like, "Oh, well, I'm actually glad that we didn't drink just because like that fight card was so amazing like that, especially that last fight." I was glad I was able to appreciate it. Sober. I just kind of looked at him. I said, "That sounds like cope." And one of the guys broke. He's like, "It's weapons grade." It is. Yeah. They were talking about like some of the restrictions and everything else. And I was like, "That doesn't sound like fun." It doesn't sound like fun. I can go to DC and go to one of my friends house and we can just have the fight on order food. We're not in a class A uniform. You know, have some of the boys over and just have a good time. So that's what it also sounds like. It's weapons grade cope. But I was one metro stop away from the airport. So no matter what time I got up, I was gonna make it to my flight today. So it was like, "All right, cool. We're one metro stop away. I can watch the fight. Have a good time." So that's what I did. Cope. How was your experience? That was all right. It was cool. Honestly, it was blown away because I didn't know. I was told by. I'll shout them out and fucking chuck hook me the fuck up. Like Chuck Lidell, longtime homey, fucking awesome guy. Just called me 2 a.m. You were there for that. You were in my kitchen two o'clock in the morning. We'd been in DC for like, politics and for a week. DC and then Houston for the convention. So like, I had just gotten back to my house and I was like, "Oh, thank God, I get to chill for a couple days." And Chuck calls me 2 a.m. He's like, "Yeah, basically, I've been able to get you the hook up." Dude, it in Chuck's voice, though. All right, so we're gonna do the breathing. We love you, Chuck. Please don't knock me out. Yeah, but yeah, he was able to pull it through, like, make it happen. He's just like, "Get on a fucking plane. We'll figure it out. I don't have a ticket for you yet, but you will have one." And I'm like, Sounds like I'm gonna get kind of. Sounds like one of those things that might fall through the cracks. I'm not sure, but like, you know what? It's too good of an opportunity and I trust Chuck. send it, just send it, went to the hotel, it's an hour before the fight, I don't have a ticket. I can see the venue from my hotel room and I'm just like, this is going to suck 50, 50, 50, 50. But it all worked out and it was, it was fucking incredible. So Chuck, thank you so much for coming through on that. It's funny, there was a lot of members of Congress and things like that, and they were there because I didn't know what kind of tickets it was going to be. I don't know if it was going to be like, they're with the lawn. They had the big arena thing where you could see it from the screens. It was in the arena, like it was across, there was the two areas, the ellipse, I think, and then the south lawn, and we were like in the southeast, and so I appreciate the shit out of that, but there were members of Congress that were there that I know now from work, my other day job, and they were all just like, why the fuck are you here? How are you here? You don't worry about that. It's a long fucking story. Many roads led me here. I have many pathways to get here. Have you asked chat GTP what I've done? One of these days, one time, it's three letters, chat GTA, GP, chat GPT. I say GTP. It's deleted. Chat. It's just GTPT. ChatsterPT. Oh, okay. I don't know. I hate that. It's going to work. It's going to work every time from now on. I farted in French chat Shut I gave him something so simple and easy that he would remember and just more difficult the men in black with a Neuralizer, let me make this fucking useless. You don't really speak English. Yeah, I thought maybe he spoke French. Oh, you're not French You're making fun of him for fucking up English and you're like, you know what would help another language? I thought he was French. You're not French He's not French race. Are you we great Brad Geez I'm just trying to catch it listen rich is still active You know, you're not gonna get it. It's why do you say that cuz like out text rich and I we we're kind of racist sometimes and it I'm usually like 50 50 on whether you're in Richard cops You didn't have to say that you didn't have to say that Dear I've never met you. I apologize But I'm like I'll send him a text or send him like a meme or something. It's 50 50 I was like I probably shouldn't have sent that to him. He might not respond and he responds with something even worse and I'm like Oh, it's game time and it is rich Yes, yes, we're actually talking about his podcast sitting and listening to two cops talk For me being law enforcement and national guard essentially black rich the black prince of pepper box Listening to these don't laugh at that. Why are you laughing so hard right now? Wow You know what I did not it be your own people Oh I don't know you know what that's just completely derailed the whole thing It's it I say all that to say rich and I are very similar and listening to like his stories It is the funniest thing cuz every cop has similar stories some of them the same But when he puts his rich spin on it with his mission with it what stayed is he from New York with his New York accent? It's like nah and car Car it's like come on And it's fucking guy. I don't think it's his accent as much as it is his volume. Yeah, that New York volume. Yeah, it's the volume in the hair We got to we got to put him in the back with the loudies You missed it Brandon. We had a It's not racist. It's not racist at all. It's it's all you sure it's segregation by volume. Yeah, okay? Yeah, once he wants the front of the plane to be quiet people Yeah, and then every on the back talks on their speaker phone like they're the piece of toast All right, and they love that name and they loudly shop gum. What do you mean by that? Black male dreadlocks He's running I will say this by association. I'm getting mother fuck on this run. I will say this There's there've been a ton of suspect descriptions and without fail and I I got in trouble because I would start my body cam recording like while Radio traffic is coming in and they'd be like stand by for description. I'd be like black male dreadlocks and they'd say black male dreadlocks And then someone do a video review and be like, why did you say that? It's like oh because of because my it was an echo. Yeah, it was it was a correct assumption Either way red apple right. I've been in the office a handful of times over my body I'm so glad that Eli is like we're gonna start a skit show. You know be funny if I brought my friend and we wrote a bunch of racists Yeah, I made all our white friends. Yeah, I know 100% gonna get a phone call and an email from people who watch this 100% I still have a work email. Like they Why the fuck did you come on here? I've got two jobs And they're both one for the plug and I don't know what that means you're like the Kevin gates. I don't look at you. I don't know what that means There's no plug and there's no hose to my wife if you're watching. There's no plug and there's no hose definitely no This is the episode we bring in our black friends and somehow it's more racist. I don't get it. Surprise Surprise We bring it with us It's in my carry on Yeah, hey sometimes you got to laugh to keep from crying Nick how are you doing? I've never seen Nick laugh so hard. It's okay. It brings me true joy Wow Yeah, I read the script. I read the script. I've been working on that character the entire like the entire flight. I'm like TIGA You know what I mean it's like how do I how do I make how do I make this script? How do I become the character? And I'm like on the plane and I'm like, you know sit next to like some senior citizen. You gotta be bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun fun TIGA TIGA So show sent me a draft and then she sends me a text. She's like what size t-shirt and underwear are you and I'm like whoa It's like what's you working with? I was like so so I text my wife. I was like, hey, what size underwear do you normally buy me? She was like medium. I was like, okay Yeah, thanks babe. A woman was asking me well. I Didn't say that. I dare not say that but if she knew she'd be like, who is that? That's not how she sounds, but that's Who was that? Who did he is texting your phone? That's your wife's voice. No, she's she's well-spoken just like me Jesus I want to make it at worst. Yeah Don't know help me I'm 100 percent. I'm gonna get an email What are they gonna say? Well, again, rich is still employed. That's what the house goes with But which also has a lot of followers and I'm still I'm still working my way up rich has an exact then again Easiest that's true then again. I so with streaming. There's a lot of stuff that I say on stream that I'm like I'm gonna have to delete this video. I can't let this one ride delete the vibe. Yeah But I haven't got an email or phone call about that yet. So maybe I don't know. We'll see. Thank the only hundreds of thousands of people will watch this episode. Oh gosh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's fine I could retire today Right, yeah, I can be fine. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I got real hard on stream. Oh my gosh $1400 in the bank account. That'll list. I don't have that much Three weeks of that much Oh time time to scale it. So you got this. Yeah, yeah, I got this. I got this. I don't need no job So how long you a police force for how long? I just hit 19 years. Oh, yeah Of retirements around Well, we'll see we'll see so during my my actions to duty time. They have to hold my position for up to five years. So I'm coming up on the three-year mark and every October when the fiscal year starts over again when my orders are renewed, they're like, "Hey, are you coming back?" And I'm like, "Orders just got extended." And so I don't have to offer anything other than I just send them my orders and I'm covered for the next two and a half years. Whereas my overall career started in 2007. Yeah, 2007, 2008. So once I hit the 20-year mark, then it's like, I can kind of just send it from there. But with the military, I'm at 15 years. So do I ride that out or do I? Do I get out? No. Retire. Now. I'll bully you into it like I did either. Oh my god. Connor, what are you doing? I'm a human brother. Are you human, okay? Yeah, you never see nobody cheap of you like this boy can. Fume responsibly. Look at Connor. I'm cured. From what? My oral fixation. I would have something else in my mouth right now, but thanks to fume, it's not made of human flesh. Can I have that please? You want to hit my fume, bro? I do want it. It's also got a fidget movement on it. For those who are tactically challenged, made that shit up. Tactically is a rare, often non-standard adverb of the form tactile used to describe interacting with or understanding something through the sense of touch, physical feel, or haptic feedback. Pass me my fume, bro. We're fuming it up. Do look at how cool he looks. He's getting fumed out of his mind. I'm on a fume too much, bro. My favorite flavor is orange vanilla, because it tastes like somebody near you at a coffee shop ordered an Earl Grey tea. Christmas. Yeah, one time I was really, really fiending for something I legally cannot say in this advertisement, but instead, I reached for my fume and boy oh. Oh, did I hit the spot? Use code unsub to get a free gift with your journey pack. Fume has already helped over 700,000 people take steps towards better habits, and now it's your turn. Head to trifume.com. That's tr-y-f-u-m-dot-com. Use code unsub to get a free gift today. What's the- what's five years in homemade like $1,000 a month, which $1,000 a month can be great, but if you spend five years versus invest in that time into what you're doing now. What's the pension change? I don't know. Yeah, I think that would be a thing. You should probably find out. You know, it's funny you say that because you're absolutely right. It is, it is, it is important. And I was driving his scan. Hey, we don't- we don't plan for the future. We don't plan for the future. I'm leaving for right now. No, but it's- it's- I'm, you know, I'm getting older. It's time to start looking at that and- and with, you know, with everything that I do with- with having these two just stop looking. Stop laughing. I'm sitting in- I'm like the buffer zone between like somebody having their moment, their first time on unsub. This is their big break and just brand and regretting every life decision he's made in the past. I'll be honest. I could have just stopped at Chick-fil-A, gone home. Who would have known of all the episodes? This would be the one Brandon would regret the most. Honestly, I didn't know you were the guest right now and I would have known. You know, you know, you know, okay, there's like seven more. Chase cut that. Cut that- cut the fuck out of that. Come back, damnity. Laughing really hard at my joke though. Chase, that's it. Oh my gosh. It's true. Chase, use your discretion on this episode. Yeah, so, um, speaking of that- just send it. She blocked me on Twitter a while back, so I made a burner account just to check and see what she was up to. She hasn't had a tweet in like three months. We should be- she's not burning up. I- I engaged with her on Twitter one time and I try to play this nice like the first time. Like, I- I called her to congratulate her on, you know, her nominations, and said, "I wish to do like lunch or something like that." I'm like trying to- trying to be like civil. You didn't offer to pay, did you? To be expensive. I know you got money, but you didn't offer to pay, did you? To be expensive. I got money. I know you got money, but you didn't offer to pay. I reached out and trying to make things, you know, I'm trying to be civil, of course. And then the first time she really tried to go hard on me on Twitter, it like just called me like all sorts of like just horrible shit. Tactical air. All I did was respond. I didn't even call in our audience and say like, "Hey, go bully." You know what I just replied. And the unsub audience bullied her off of the platform. She hasn't posted in three months, two months. It's like the eye of Sauron. Jesus. Doesn't take much. God, I just want to know that one individual that was on her team is like, "Yeah, this tweet is going to show him." And again, ratio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Politics. We stay out of them. Yeah. Don't throw stones if you're built like a house. Somebody write that down. I'm going to post that on X. Friends, I got to hate my friends so much. Give me a better friend. Oh, you missed it the last episode of Steve? Yeah. Yeah. Steve was like, this is in the aftershow. I'm going to talk to Nick. It's my jujitsu coach. Yeah. In the aftershow, Nick goes to Brandon's face and heavy competition. Heavy. Talking about Katie. Don't know. I'd love one too, babe. He's doing, it was Nick doing very well-executed jokes without saying something great. Heavy competition. Yeah. We got to tip the scales in your favor. Oh, my God. And then we'll indirect fire. And every joke is just flying over his head. And he goes, what's she running on? And I go, "Not a fucking treadmill." Oh, my gosh. And then we talk about the heels and the structural support. Oh, my goodness. I thought she's not allowed to wear them anymore. Why? In Texas. She'll fucking strike oil. Oh, my gosh. I just picture a little spree in some oil. I don't know why. They made a 5K. They made me think of the Beverly Hillbilly's where the oil is just shooting out. Geez. Brandon's probably going to want this one right now. You know, friends like these. Look, I said it on the last episode. I was like, look, I didn't say a single word about her weight until she called my friend a Nazi, which is objectively a lie. If she's allowed to lie about my friends, I'm allowed to tell the truth. Fuck off. Well, be fair, that was my strategy against Tony. It's like, if you're going to fucking lie about me, I'll tell the truth about you all the time. Oh, that dude was disgusting. It's still disgusting. It's worse than people know. Yeah, still to this day. There's shit that hasn't come out that probably will. Yeah, when I eventually write a book. Well, he was responding there for a while. He was like, I think he still had a dog in the fight. And then those text messages, good Lord. And then the second set of text messages from a different woman. Yeah. Oh, Monitone. Still my favorite thing that came from all of that was that one. Yeah, calligation. Cause that was Charlie Charlie. I still get out. We were all sitting together when he went on that podcast trying to deflect after he had he had been denying the affair. And then he went on that one dude's podcast and was like, okay, all of that, all of that stuff was true. But that's not why she took her life. She actually took her life because her husband secretly gay and Brandon threw his fucking. Oh my God. I cannot believe he just I hooked my phone into my backyard. I'm pretty sure I was so fucking pissed. I don't think I've I'm usually a pretty chill to anger guy. Like I'm very, but that's also insane. Like because I because at this point, like I knew her husband. Like I he's I consider him a friend now. Like he's just a great guy. Yeah, terrible situation. And and to hear that come out of his mouth, I was livid. Good Lord. Degree that I don't think any of my friends have seen me. Yeah. Like I was pissed. Geez. That was insane politics. Insane deflection. Like just I couldn't if you gave me time, I don't know if I could have come up with a worst response to that. It wasn't the fact that you ruined her life and took away her family and job. No, no, no, no. Oh, let me let me. It's cause your husband's fault. Yeah. Well then if I'm remembering correctly, it was like two days later, he came forward and was like, that was all, that was actually all bullshit. Everything I've said so far as a lie. Well, it was pathological liar because like he because he was spending his time talking about how, oh, this is all political slander. Brandon Herrera is actually the liar. He's making all this up for political gain. Can you believe he's doing this? That's what he's telling like his donors and his crowd, everything like that. And then he's like, oh, well, actually, no, I was lying the entire time, but you should believe me this time. I was lying then, but I stopped. Oh, no, no, no. Now I'm telling you he talked to God. remember God forgave God he talked to God and God forgave him that that night which is like yeah you you should seek forgiveness for that but like it was his well I I think his direct quote was on that same podcast it was I asked God to forgive me and he had and he did and I'm like well I'm sorry I forgot district 23 came with the arc of the fucking covenant and this was a two-way radio it was the implication that he has a direct line of communication with God himself geez just I'm glad he's not only gone but like politically radioactive yeah I was touching him forever let's see what's he doing now that's well I mean it's hopefully nothing involving women yeah who we're driving that's one thing that that Cody brought up that I never thought of was like this guy was a master chief in the Navy for a long time it's like good Lord he's got a trail of disaster guaranteed the possibly allegedly two's and E3's under him like that that's sort of pattern of behavior yeah that's easy as fucks you don't yeah you don't wake up one morning and become a like a person like that yeah this is like how terribly he was dirty talk yeah he looks like the kind of guy yeah he saw say the things that he said he has that look you want to see my pp yeah oh my pp is so hard does that does that make your vagina get bigger bro do you are we are we both hard right now is your hard that's that's how it works right we both get hard and you just slam on together oh that was one of my favorite parts I'm like not only not only now does everybody know everybody in the district know you are what you have been this entire time but now they also know you sexed like a 13 year old boy like it was just he was embarrassingly bad like somebody who's never communicated to a woman his entire life and all while claiming to be you know like a a be all and family man family man but that's the thing is people people will do the most diabolical stuff and then immediately turn to Christianity once they get caught and it's like wait where's the evidence of any of this in your past like I get it you can change your ways but don't don't claim Christianity just because you got caught as it yeah as a defense and as a well God forgave me so I'm good so you guys should still vote for me no you did heinous things you should probably I don't know step aside or yeah consult God privately yeah don't make it a don't make it a show I'm a Catholic I'm a bad one but I'm a Catholic yeah so as you know one of the you're not one of the good ones also to my wife I'm so sorry I apologize I love you very much I like chase and we're back the audio so it says I hate my wife different clips Finn Finn's just do everything I asked Chase to do right now we're just opening the tops yeah we got to rewind like 10 minutes we got this we can insert we can talk about your opponent we can talk about I want to know your you did you how's it going we yeah you're doing the running before now we do how is it actually security getting into that that'd be nice I didn't make it in it security it was not as crazy as you think well it clearly wasn't as crazy as you think Sean Strickland still made it in do you see that which is insane you got an escort yeah yeah I think you got charged with this orderly conduct at least that's what he said on his Instagram story what I think that's what he said he said I have no idea because you don't have to pay you don't have to show up the court don't have to pay it like that's especially if you don't live there yeah you're you're good I mean this is a legal advice this isn't legal advice you get a bitch warrant doesn't matter it's not legal advice they might try to suspend your driver's license or something but it's not that a bench warrant in Georgia no my driver's license is suspended in the state of Georgia I had a bench warrant what did you do so I mean my buddy went on road trip from Indiana down to his uncle's place in cocoa not cocoa beach just cocoa florida and we were doing trips back and forth and it was my turn to drive through Georgia and we were passing making and I definitely was not according to the legal documentation going like 20 over that's not that bad well you are charged for it you know I got I got charged because I was going 14 over I'm just saying you don't have to do the allegedly thing if you've already been charged yeah no I definitely was not going 20 over I was going 14 over so I definitely wasn't going 20 over and I got pulled over I took a highway exit because there was like real thick forests on either side of the highway and there was a little clearing with a Georgia state trooper and he guns it out and I immediately merged the right line I was going to take the next exit and I was like well just pull into a gas station like we're filling up and there's no way he'll remember what car I was driving he remembered what car I was driving so we got pulled over and I swear it was this guy's like first day on the job he was super nervous which kind of like every time I've been pulled over it's like yes sir no sir blah blah blah blah but he he seemed like really nervous and was it night time no it was like middle of the afternoons he might not have seen the driver and were you wearing your shirt that says I can run faster horny than you can scared I was no was that explained no actually is one of my gun that said officer I have a gun and I'm willing to shoot but he's like make me horny yeah cops make me horny and I can run fast you just got to make sure that you just like save him the time and grab your water you know but yeah he's like real nervous we like bing-bong through the normal fucking traffic stop shit um he comes back I was super you know nice with him and uh he's like well I clocked you going 14 over wink which is one mile an hour under reckless driving in the state of Georgia geez and so it was like all right cool well on their tickets it says it has weather and traffic conditions so it was a clear day it was uh the lightest traffic it was you know the road conditions were perfect like basically the way that tickets written out it's like if you're gonna speed these are the ideal conditions so anyway I get that the fucking ticket I get a court date set we go to Florida we go back home and I thought it was one of those things I could just call into the courthouse like hey the day of well no can't do that sir sir my name is Connor that's true I called him like sorry officer I didn't know I couldn't do that zbiotics is a surefire way to wake up feeling refreshed uh after a long night with the friends zbiotics pre alcohol probiotic is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic probiotic I got the word right you want to know how it works magic Finn put up magic it's like in the licks or a zinzo bean when you drink the alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct great for the liver and it is a buildup of this byproduct not dehydration that leads to that terrible feeling the next day so on the rare occasion me and the guys have a few drinks I pop one of these and life is way better from the fairways of Augusta to the first pitch of the baseball season and the start of the festival circuits april is a sprint to outdoor celebration don't let a rough next day keep you on the sidelines drink pre alcohol to stay ahead of the game and enjoy those sunny Saturdays go to zbiotics.com/unsub and get 15% off when you use code unsub at checkout zbiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee so if you're unsatisfied for any reason they will refund your money no questions asked remember to head to zbiotics.com/unsub and use code unsub to get 15% off two weeks prior and I was just going to be like you know like what's the fine I'll pay it and I call in and I was like hey I got this traffic ticket you know I want to plead guilty pay the fine and she was like no you have a court date set I was like okay so I live in Indiana how do I go about pleading guilty and she was like well you'll have to arrive for your court date to plead guilty that's crazy I was like can I plead guilty over the phone or in writing yeah or like send an attorney on my behalf she goes no you you have to appear in person which this is a clerk at the courthouse yeah so contacting an attorney I'm sure she knew the minimum amount of information so I was like what if hypothetically I didn't show up she goes well the judge will set a bench warrant for your arrest and then eventually you might get arrested in the state of Georgia but your license will be suspended that's insane so never went back to to Georgia, I attempted to plead guilty. If a judge is watching in the state of Georgia, Georgia, I'd love to plead guilty. I'd love to pay that fine. I don't want my license, you know, reinstated in the state of Georgia, but so far as it currently stands, my driver's license is revoked in the state of Georgia. And if I get caught in Georgia, I might go to jail. I always tell people like, look, it's probably going to cost less if you just pay the fine. Because if you go to court and you're found guilty, which I didn't pull over anybody who wasn't indeed guilty, why are you laughing at that? Don't laugh at that. But I would tell them it's probably going to be cheaper because if you pay the fine, then it's just the fine. If you come to court, it's the fine plus the legal fees, the clerk's office fees, plus travel and everything else if you're out of state. And so I would tell people to say, look, you can pay this online or you can come to court. If you pay online, this is what it generally looks like. If you don't come to court or if you want to come to court, this is what it generally looks like. Most people didn't come to court because I had to be there because if I wasn't, well, I'd, I'd be charged. And that's happened before. So that was. Yeah. Way in charge. Well, really? Every time I've gone to court, the car starts to show up. Oh, no, dude. I got, I'm not going to, I can't, I still, I can't go in a detail. But a few years ago, I was charged with failure to appear and I was arraigned. I'm in uniform at my arraignment, deciding if I want to represent myself or have court appointed counsel. I didn't know that happens. I thought it was just like, no, the cabinet shows so you're in the clear. No, some jurisdictions, it's, it's different depending on where you are. But for mine, I, I had some other, some other tardiness and things like that because I think constitutionally, it's you have a right to face your accuser. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way it works. Now, are you the kind of cop that shows up? Show me, show me John T. government, bring it here. No, no. So I do you would like show up to yours? Yeah. But because I know some of them are kind of like you know. Here's what happens is like out, so when I, when I wrote tickets, when I was really big in the writing tickets, first of all, I would use, I was very big on discretion. You're first of all, okay, let's hear your discretion. You would arrest on now. Here's, here's a thing, if I'm hired to do a job, I can't not do that job. Fear. So what I did was, was I said, okay, I will set my discretion at a certain, uh, speed limit above the, or certain, uh, miles per hour over the speed limit. Ten percent. What was your number? I'm not going to say it publicly. Ten percent, okay. Nine. Nine, nine you're fine. Ten you're mine. And a fit of it is that the nicely, well, not necessarily nicer, but the more fair you are with doing your job. So now with doing the number of traffic stops I was doing, now I started to get to know people in the community, the bad neighborhoods, the good neighborhoods, the schools, the businesses. So when I had a domestic or I had a call that I actually had to maybe make an arrest on or maybe take further action, looking for drugs or anything like that, I now had this network of people where I had these people that I was familiar with. So I, there was a kid that I grew up, well, I didn't grow up with him, but we worked in the, in the, uh, lumber company, uh, 20 years ago we worked together in Southern Maryland and he comes to my radar at 97 miles an hour in a 55. So I wrote him reckless. I was like, look, I'm going to write you reckless. I was like, but you're good to go. I was like, your, your license is good. I write you the ticket. Just make sure you come to court. And he comes to court. He's like, oh, man, thank you so much for just writing me the ticket blah, blah, blah. If like, you, you know, you really looked out for me. Then the judge looks at him and it's like, oh, hmm. The half the as fine I've ever seen, uh, I think he got, he ended up getting like five days to serve. He ended up getting, uh, it was just all these, like, it was insane and five, five days, five days in jail. Yeah. No shit. Yeah. Well, because, because of his, his driving history and so, but even after that, he, because he got a delayed report. So he didn't have to go straight to jail, but he came to me and he was like, look, man. He was like, I know that if you would have written it as reckless, then I would have had to do 30 days. He was like, I'll take five days any time. So even after going, getting jail time, he was still cool with me. So you said you wrote it as reckless? I wrote it as reckless. Okay. But if I wrote it, so no, I wrote it, uh, yeah, I wrote it reckless, um, but I think I bumped his miles down because when you have your radar, so your radar, we were talking radar earlier. When you see someone increasing in speed, any of the numbers that are displayed, you can verify they were going that speed. So if the highest is 97, but I've got him at 77, then I can still write him reckless at the 77. And so what that does is that, that's like, Hey, if you're, if you're polite and cooperative, we can, we can, you know, work through this. But through that whole court case, even now, like if I see him today, we're still cool, because I use my discretion and he didn't have to do 30 days in jail. So it's just, yeah, just another one of those like for the viewers. It's like one of the, you know, 19 reasons to not be a dick to a cop. Yeah, no matter what, a human decency, but b, your day's not going to get better. Yeah. Well, you're not going to have a better experience if you're an asshole. I always try to police officers until they arrest you and then only consult your attorney. I always tell people, you don't have to be nice to me. Like you, you, you can be a dick, but be, at least, at least be reasonable and say, Hey, I was driving this car at this speed. Or I smack my baby mama upside the head. I got, I got, I got to take what's coming to me. And so those people, even if they were mean, it's like, I don't have to be mean question question. Go ahead. This seems like a good time to leave. I was at the end of in two, it was a, the, the, the, the slapping your baby mama. I was like, I was like, maybe I wouldn't say that to the cop. We'll see what car Nell is about to ask if the radar can clock how hard it's like the car. It's not like the baseball speed indicator. Yes. Use code fat. I think I use the code fat at Wegmans and it worked probably, probably that good, use code fat at Casey's gas stations. I get your shitty pizza for 10% off fat. Oh, you want to guess who reached out and wants me to come to head. Headquarters. Is it fucking Casey's gas stations owner? No. No, Casey. Is it Monards? Taco John's. Oh, okay. If he said Monards, I'd punch you. Come up the headquarters. You can film with the chefs and you can make your own Taco John's Brito or some shits. Brito, he calls it. Hey, big mommy in the Nards. That's what I sung. That was little. Oh, yeah. What? You don't know. Well, you know, is it India? It's such a fan of this podcast. The longer it goes on the more buttons he gets on doing on his shirt. Got him. I'm talking about buttons on her face. You mentioned the buttons because you saw me check my buttons. Uh-huh. I did. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, well, you're, well, you're gay. Just calls him the N-word, right? Oh. Thanks, Nick. I appreciate it. I'm going to start putting tally marks tattooed on this finger every time I get somebody. The boobs. There you go. There you go. I haven't thrown my word in a while. Geez. Yeah, it's been a long time since you boop somebody. Gosh, man, I got, I told myself once upon a time I'd never get got. I didn't get got. Well, I did. I never had. And it's because I wore a shirt with buttons. I got my echelon t-shirt in the truck and I was like, gosh, should I put on a t-shirt? I specifically told you you asked and I said, no, just sit your ass down because I knew I was going to do that from the beginning. He's been plotting on my buttons this whole time. 100%. He's been eyeing those gosh, man, that sweet butt tons. He's been setting it up for hours. He's got buttons. I'm going to get you back. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. Nick bullies me about this bullshit all the time. Can I mass your head? Yeah. I'm going to take off my hat. Yeah. Do it, please. You can hide your head. The internet's going to see my hair line. No, we can, we can have Chase hard cut. What are you leaning in for? It is. No, no. It is. It's going to have all day long. Connor, what do you have a small ass head too? For my first, like, four year shooting content I never shot without a hat on. And I think I was streaming one day and I took, I switched hats. And they were like, he's got hair on his head. They thought I was bald the whole time. I think he's bald. Yeah. Good thing. Hey, I cut it yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, a hat. I'm sorry. Yeah. We have the same size fucking head. Yeah. Same size arms too. Hold on. No, no, no, no. Where are the hat like normal? What do you mean normal? Do we have that motherfucker behind the knot? Yeah. We're like a fucking white trash because that's how we're a fucking hat. We're like a normal hat. Do it. Do it. Do I wear it? Oh, let's go to the bait. Oh, I can't wait to see my son's play baseball. King Pax, watch your voice. I love how mad he gets about the head being a small. No, you wear your hat up here. It doesn't look weird the other way. Tell me to get sunny. And then if I get sunny, you kind of pull it down. It's functional. It's functional. He's got his bill. He's got his bill turned the same way I do too. Sport? Yeah. Well, how you're supposed to block the sun? No. The bill. I'm going to get a head. my boy I like that my boy right back the spot You know what I'm saying now we had to try house. We had to try out. We're gonna world wide. That's what we were slaying You I know you I know Ladares L to the double D Ladares. No cuz you broke your bill All right, I can only break his bill the same way I do you don't Huh, you don't break your bill? I don't break it. Yeah. No, you yes, you fold it down here's here's the secret So I always get asked about my bill and that's the Ranger roll. Oh, it kind of is but I when I get up so I get these hats. This is from tack fish hunt tack hunt fish You can get a three pack of these on gov X So I was like hey, let me get two of those cuz I was I was where I had and if you're plugging you're doing a bad job I'm not plugging it. I just it's just it just works. I just randomly I found a hat that I like and I stick with it So what I do is when I get it I dip it in hot water and then I put it into a cup or a mug and it just sits there for like 24 hours. Yeah, I'm just putting my hat on like a moron. No, you got to bake it. So I wear mine in the shower Okay, uh to to form fit the hat to your head. Yeah, because they're always so baggy when he gets It's got a shirt. I got big bang bang me me nick me nick Rictitious, you are not me got you are about to funny voice acting like it's normal to wear your hat in the shower right now You just say you wear hat in the shower Naked hat. All right. Does nobody want to hear my fucking story? I'm sorry. I'm sorry Let him cook if we can quiet down. Yeah, it sounds like a movie theater right now Oh my bad, I'm sorry So you get There they go again It's a cultural pattern. It's not a stereotype. It's a pattern It's a six panel trucker hat like that first thing you do straight out the box as you break the bill as hard as you possibly can crack that Crack it, which is the the kids nowadays nowadays. It means fucking something apparently. Oh You put it on you take a hot steamy shower with your head on for the first time It shrinks the fabric down to your head it fits it, and yeah, no wait. No, I was I was getting there. Sorry Don't fucking retards. We'll say if you have a tiny head. That's what we'll shrink it down No, whatever you said you just said you're not about to call me retarded because I don't wear my hat in the shower You set your head to the setting like whatever it may be maybe it's all all the notes Giant fucking retarded cavemen three three show me your head three three three good lord So if you have a giant fucking retard You have four, but okay, you have okay, you have dreads that actually looks good as fuck But also the way the way he wears his hat The way go you can't dab him up like that. That was cool Look at y'all over there having rhythm and stuff No, cuz you where he wears his hat differently cuz I wear my hat like a fucking redneck Where I set it up on the back of my you wear your hat Chris off camera wears his hat like a fucking 16-year-old white boys What are you trying to keep the fucking son out of your eyes? He sits in on top of his broccoli hair curls One more time you got this buddy, can you Branden do you like it Branden? Where do you store your firearms all over my house in every fucking crepes well? Do I have the product for you Nick show him here hand it to me Brandon so I can show you Brandon. This is stop box Stop box. We love box. You selling me What's in the box you have to open it and find out all right? Well, let's see if I can do this. Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, I think that would stop you. Can I hide my goop in that? You can hide your goop in that Cody. Cody, do you know I love this thing? Why? Why god why because you don't have to use keys God not included Cody you've got multiple cats in your house including squirt who's quite the scrapper Would you want squirt to have access to your firearms? No, he's violent Well, then stop box is the perfect product for you. No cat's getting inside that or people without thumbs The nice part is it is actually TSA compliant. I didn't actually know that part until a couple months ago That is actually really cool. You put a little lock through there Exactly when you check in a pistol or any gun if there's a hole that a lot can go through on whatever you're checking You're going in you have to put a lock through that this has one hole so you just need one lock easily accessible once you land on the ground I know you're not normally a one hole kind of guy, but this is Definitely an exception to the rule. It never worry about tariffs because everything is sourced right here in the USA Wait, what are tariffs? I'm pretty sure I shot a few of them For a limited time only get 10% off your entire order if you use code unsubscribe check out and right now if you buy one stop box You're gonna get another stop box free So that's 10% off plus buy one get one free when you use code unsubscribe to check out that stop box USA dot com Discover a better way to balance security and readiness with stop box stop box USA dot com use code unsubscribe Don't want to hear it sets it gently delicately He's still got the reflective sticker on the bill of his head Geez, and he sets it very delicately what I do and I'm not gonna do this tonight. What do you do after the shower? So will you you break the bill you take it you break it as hard as fuck so it sits like that and Then I wear my hat like up on the top of my head and then if we get sunny Then he tuck it down a little bit But the shower the shower that's the fibers down. Yeah, and you sit it on top of like a cereal bowl or something Yeah, so it forms to it. Okay Shower cereal bowl I'm working with a cup a coffee mug and that's it and hot. I love that I can just buy a hat and put it on and it fits Mixed I can buy a bowl Her Bible I can start I click the the one the one thing is what he calls that I got to take this dip up minds on three Yeah, no, he sets it right there. No, yeah, maximum setting and he goes yeah, I put it on my big fat giant fucking retar Grove magnet head and that's normal he goes. Oh trod has teeny tiny peepee brain head. Oh my gosh I'm sorry. I don't need a fucking cookbook to get my hat set That's how how to fit ahead The gas light into the wild did you wait did you you had a brain when you graduate a bit? Okay, so did you do the the whole like wet it down and and you have to shave it? Yeah, did you ever wear it in the shower? No, so what he's implying I Would soak mine and just form it. Oh, you had that you also had the tiny peepee idiot brain head according to Nick's logic No, yeah, your hat fits me perfectly Give me my hat back. Let's start. Let's start there. So According to Nick logic, you have we we idiot poopoo. We have a small head on my name. I have a small head I have small ears. Thank you for just admitted that. I have a small head and I have small ears Large nose large nose I Look I'm looking at you But yeah, so so we would I would wet my beret shave it down wet it You put it in zip lock bag once it's formed. Well what you put it in zip because we had to take ours to the field You had the same way, huh? Yeah, we had to take it to the field because when you after you do your field exercise Then you could put your beret on Well, this way when did you join 2011. Oh, okay, this is different time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, different than okay. So going But that was like maybe that was where there's in the shower and they're like why are you wearing this in the shower? Oh to get hot water on it You can you can wet it in the sink and then form it that way you're not staying there but naked in the shower with a beret on trying to form a beret It just I had to the shower Isn't a beret and there weren't other naked men around me. It's also still I had in the shower being a beret Doesn't make it better having to wet a beret I don't care if you killed guys. You're still but I asked naked around other men When you boil it down to that You're doing after this. I like I like it No, no, just picture of Connor walking into this shower at music playing and the hat on so you know what admit that you have a smile head You don't want to admit that you have a small head. You just told me I have a small head. No, I didn't I said, you and I have the same size head. He has a freakishly giant head. There ain't no way I'm about to watch you gaslight a cop and to not admit in he has a small head. If I said he has a small head, what I meant to say is that we have the same normal size head and he has a freakishly giant gross size head. How dare you wear hats raw, first off the box? How dare you wear the hat that he wore? Do not try that hat on real quick. He has dreads. I don't think this will be the same, but let's talk about it. - I know, but getting camera first, right in the middle. - Well, like, Nick's head fruit. (laughing) He has dreads. - He doesn't count. - I don't look Jewish. - Doesn't work. - A little Jewish hat. - A little cap on the back. - A Yamaka. (laughing) - Yeah, a little Yamaka. - Should I shower with this naked or something? Is that what I should do? - You've got a shaker. - Yeah, shower with it naked, so it'll fit. That's SOPs. - Naked hat showers tonight, boys. - And then, when I go back, what about the cereal bowl? What do we got to do with the cereal bowl again? - We didn't finish that. - Is the cereal bowl? - We stopped at Steps 37 and how to make a hat fit your fucking normal size head. - That was step two. - The same thing as a regular bowl or a special bowl. (laughing) - I'm being antagonized. - I'm being antagonized by the blacks and-- (laughing) - We just want to know, man. We just want the information. (laughing) - That's true. Connor's gonna go home and watch America history, yeah. (laughing) - We really got him. (laughing) - What's a big-headed movie? - Say my head's big. - What's an anti-big-head movie? - Make it mine. - Make it mine. (laughing) - I hate bulls-a-bum. (laughing) - Geez. Wow. - You wanted to come on, I thought. - I have a lot of things. - Yeah. - Show 'em, but ask naked. - I forgot, it was still on button. - We're at Wynn, a new-skit idea, Connor. It's the three bulls-a-porage, but they're hats. (laughing) - They're all too big, so it's gotta use the bear's shower, so they fit. - You get the giant, redored, mongoloid head, Nick's size hat, where there's like two buttons like that. - Yeah, that would be the daddy hat. - Wow. - Boom, roasted. (laughing) - You're in this hat so tight. You can take the-- - I have a smile. - You can't-- - No, you don't have a smile. - You don't have a normal size head. - You can't get your head right. - Nick, put your head on Eli. - It wasn't too long, it wasn't too small. (laughing) - It's a red one. - Don't break his bill. - No, not backwards forward. - I mean, that's a fit. - Bad, there is a little gap. - He'd be one button tighter. - Let me try that one. - Get you some of that. - Oh my God. - Don't judge me. - I figured out. - Well, he wears the hat like I do. I, because I can't put it on. - He can't put it on. - Like, he's got a normal size head, so it's larger than mine. - Ooh. - Dude, that's a turn to cut on my brain. - There you go. That'll make you smarter. - Oh, fuck. Now Eli doesn't know how to work the cameras. (laughing) - Damn, what would you get, Connor? - God damn it, I'm six foot, dude. - I'm six foot, too. (laughing) - I'm sorry, Nicky, but that's fine. (laughing) - Jesus, it's the first time I've had butt. I'm gonna say it! - I'm gonna say it! (laughing) - Let's, let's, real conversation. - Oh my God. - Let's setting the F's, put your burger king crown on. (laughing) - That's right, the last one. - The last one. (laughing) - Does this come to a kid's house? - But I wear it the white trash away. - Or I'm like sitting it up on the back of my, and I'm like, "Jesus, what in the background?" (laughing) - We don't have one? - No. - Oh my God. - There's, there's no other one. - There's one floating around. - I'm very, I'm getting, I'm getting. - I'm surprised we don't have one. - You don't fucking up. - She's got a pulse in the car. - I've talked about this on one of the episodes, but you coming onto the live show you walked out on stage, you were supposed to bring drinks out, and I didn't even think about anything, like the nerves going on stage in front of you. - Yeah, like any of that. I was like, "Hey, wait, stop!" - And your brain just reached out. - I literally reached out. - I remember you saw it or not. But I had water in that cup and I spilled it, and I was like, "Oh, I'm already here." So then I just like, "What does every guy do "and on stage in front of thousands of people?" You just, "Yeah!" And that's literally all I did. And Zach was like, "Wait, are you gonna tell a story? "You're gonna say something?" And I was like, "No." My mindset was, it was already a miracle that I was there because with being able to take leave from work and everything else and kind of short notice. And then I left there to go to North Carolina. I knew I was going to North Carolina to shoot some of the Black and Blue podcast. And so Zach was like, "Yeah, you just got to talk to them." And I'm like, "I'm not gonna show up the day of "an hour before the show and say, "Hey, guys, "you should let me get on the mic." Like I think that was a bit much. So when Zach was like, "All right, bring the white claws out "on stage." And I was like, "Okay, I'll do it." And then I got out there and like the crowd like, "Yeah, I've never experienced that before." So I kind of hit a little hard reset right there and was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm here." And then went right backstage. And Zach was like, "You did it." And I was like, "I did it. I did it." So that was cool. I'm looking forward to the next round of live shows. We got you. We got you. It was awesome seeing you on stage in the crowd that. Especially that crowd was insane. The Florida crowd. If we do live shows again, when we're all on a plane together, we all have to walk onto the plane wearing Burger King Crows. Act completely normal, but just wear 'em. - Do you shower before a hand or no? - Yeah, do you have to go take a shower with that? Get that friendly woman off the plane! (laughing) - Why is this Burger King crown soggy? - Wait, where did you just spawn Burger King Crows from? You guys, oh, I just slipped off. - I got a super power. - Got a walker to lose. - Oh my God, he doesn't have an offender power. - Oh. - I don't. - Do you know the offenders? - I do know the offenders. - What's your super power? - Oh. - Oh, we haven't done this. - It's not up to me to decide. - No, it is. - Literally, your super power. - Oh, oh, there's a lot of debate about this because me and Jack, apparently, like historically have switched roles, I think mine was, I can teleport. Oh yeah, 'cause his became time travel. I can teleport, but every other time, I become a random sex toy for 24 hours. - Isn't, you can shape shift, but-- - Shape shift, yeah. - Yeah, so, and then every other one, you shape shift into a sex toy though. - Yes. - You have no control. - And I have no idea what it is. - So it might be-- - I'm comfortable just letting the internet decide, Mike, 'cause-- - No, no, no, no, no. - So we get a wait for two weeks and then look at this. - So do I have to pick the super power? - And we pick the offset. - I thought you watched on stuff, though. - I do, but I never thought that I'd be picking a super power. - Wow. - Can you get pulled open tonight? - I didn't get pulled. - I am invisible to law enforcement. Ah, that's not really. - That's a power. - That is, hey, look, I need that. I wish I had that at my arraignment. Good lord. That's your super power. - You just fucked over fucking Caleb. Cobb walks up and you just, whoop. (laughing) Cobb only sees Caleb. - Oh, you guys are good. (laughing) - Darn Elfpool now. - I know, just everybody wants to fly, right? - What is it? - Everybody wants to fly. I would love to be able to fly. - Something unique. - Stop. - He's got teleport or you got shapeshift. Someone has teleport. Cody has flying, right? - Yep. - Yes. - With racial slurs. - What about the flash, like super speed? Does anybody have that? - Eli. - Gosh darn it. - I can't be fast. I mean, they can. - Do you have some mind reading? Does anybody have mind reading? - We can give him super speed. That's black. - Yeah, I was gonna say that fits. I'm kind of fast. - Okay, so you can move at the speed of light? - Works for me. - Okay, so speed of light. And then the offset is. - Black light. - Oh my god. (laughing) - The black light. - That's a merch idea. Just the black light bowl. - Your costume is just black with like a splatter. (laughing) (laughing) - Okay. - There's something there. We're on to something, boys. - Okay, so we got the black light. And then his offset is. - Yeah. - You're right, go for it Nick, please. - Say it Nick. - Let me hear this one. - Just say it. - You can only run at the speed of light if you're carrying somebody else's bike. (laughing) - Oh my god! (laughing) (laughing) - My son, I need to borrow your bike. (laughing) - I'm just gonna ride around the block real quick. I just let this pulling up to save somebody and they're like. - Why do you have a huffy? (laughing) - You have to save me. - You have to save me. - You have to do something first. (laughing) - Fever. - And the cops always know. (laughing) - It's like GT-8. - Hey, they can't catch me though. They can't catch me though. - Oh my gosh. All right. - That's a perfect offset. - It feels something first. - Thief. - Got it. - The black light. - What's he stealing this week? (laughing) - But you're saving people. - Even trade. - It's even trade. - Yeah. - Do you bring the bike back? (laughing) - No, 'cause once he gets serious, he's gonna have to. Something else to kill the other man said I can never return shit I was gonna say the speed of light, but it can never be a way or in the direction of way from your family Jesus I love my family I am a very present father Yeah, I'ma run this store real quick baby My dad did that 1985 just imagine you should California resident ever since I love you dad I do I love my dad No, that's I oh absolutely. Oh shit. He was gone before I was born. I'm not gonna go into that though Yeah, fair enough Give me a crown. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good the black lights here. You drop it off a bike walk it to the next My It's like why is he coming back while these bikes in the front yard? Pilots me a lot of people here. No, just one guy who runs real fast. Lee Chase. He hasn't like grabbing ice cream Toddler Well, I love this this bike, but you get here. Give me that Jeez all right, that's that'll be fun. Okay, we can work with that. We can work with that Got some skit ideas bouncing around and you don't have to sell them on Facebook marketplace Hey got a flip him got a flip him Money-making money-making machine still bike flip the bike It's It's the modern day craigslist. It's true. It is the Wild West My wife buys so many things on Facebook marketplace and she'll say oh by the way, can you go pick this up? Brawl don't even get me started on my wife Facebook, so I live I live in a very rural area very rural when I say rural. I mean a lot of farms not a lot of black people She's got me driving past no trespassing signs and I'll go up and I'm like hey, did you talk to these people? Oh, yeah message them yesterday Okay, I'm here and nobody's at the door and they've got cameras everywhere and there's a car coming down the driveway So you need a message or call somebody right now you switch stream, right? Yeah, cuz you should do that live stream It but with a heartbeat monitor She's like oh, I I bought I don't know seven lows of sourdough You just have to go to farmer such and such and I'm like bitch they got HB You realize the situation you're putting me in like I have a gun on me right now and it just it's always awkward and sometimes like if I knock on the door They'll crack the door like this. What do you want? I'm here from Facebook marketplace. My wife purchased. Oh, then say like come on in, but it's always like that tension like It's yeah, it's very shady opposite problem. Yeah, my wife like selling shit on Facebook No, no, no, no, no, she's never had them come to my house because I told her that from the get-go I was like we're always meeting somewhere else and I'm going with you Horrible me $20 bro Hey, I was it is this like pre this was like when I was still an electrician and doing YouTube like I'm making good money It's an electrician. I'm making like decent money doing YouTube like I'm making money and hand I like get off work I got videos to make I just worked a 10-hour shift being electrician. She's like Will you take me to Casey's in the North end of town like the shittiest most ghetto gas station in town? Take me to the hood big guy. I have to meet this person to sell them a bedset Okay, okay, I drive over there I'm sitting in this Casey's gas station and we're like pulled up to the front of the gas station. It's like my bumper four feet a sidewalk brick wall door to walk in a 2006 Buickless Sabre pulls up Obvious drug dealer walks up. It's winter standing it would have been said in front of the gas station in the bad side of town Takes his winter gloves off like the 99 sent. Oh my gosh and set some down on the little ledge because it's like a it's like Brick halfway up and then it turns to sheet metal and there's like a lip this big. Yeah sets his gloves there and stands there for a minute sees another dude that's obviously tweaking walking up and They walk up and they talk for a minute and I see the handoff and the dude that said his gloves on the ledge Walks away and leaves his gloves and I'm sitting in my car four feet away watching so I swear to our we're watching a drugs To me and then like the tweakers looking around on nervous and then grabs the gloves and leaves and she's like what was that I go that was a fucking drug deal like geez and she's like completely oblivious to it I've now been in front of this gas station for 15 minutes and the person pulls up and buys a bed set I get out and hand it to him and she hands me. I'm not exaggerating a five and two ones And I was like Hannah Seven dollar bed set fucking give it to good. Well, I've now wasted an hour of my time. Oh, that was the For seven dollars was legitimate amount. She sold it for oh my gosh all of that that it was like And she's like why don't just want to give it away for free. We paid money for this. I go hand on my time is worth money Seven dollars for some shit. I already paid ten dollars for I'm like 50 dollars in the hole on this Don't help Still a waste of time My wife will buy stuff so like my my kids they they each have their own room So we've got bump beds for the youngest one. We've got a regular Single bed and then my my oldest kid has like a double or I don't know what size it is But my wife still buys beds on Facebook market. We've got one. Oh, no two bunk beds in the garage soft furniture. Yeah, and it's the same No bed bugs and no no no, no, no, no, it's like she likes the the wooden they're like these Ikea bunk beds She just buys the frame. Oh Don't buy anything soft on the Internet. Yeah, don't put your kids in so like you use mattresses. That's comfortable They're warning these aren't these aren't New York tunnel mattresses But what happens is we'll get these bunk beds and they'll just stack up and she's got like bookshelves bunk beds And so every so often like when I built my garage gym I ran out of space and I'm like we got all this crap. She doesn't know what's out here I'm gonna start taking this I'm gonna start peace mailing it and taking it to the dump and throwing it in the trash I've thrown away like two bunk beds two shelves. She has no clue. I hope she doesn't watch this But she I've thrown away all this stuff and she's still like the other day. She's in the room She's like, do you know where the tape measure is? Do you know what that means when your wife asked where the tape measure is? She's about to buy shit. Yeah, and I'm like and I'm like word of advice when she asks that don't say do you know how to read a tape measure? They get mad. They she didn't but she still got mad. I wouldn't I would not do that My wife is really good at being angry. I don't know if you know this and not my wife is a black woman really good at being angry I thought we had the same wife for a man. Well put that in the intro So she does watch this we fuck him over. What I did was I took so in our in the mud room like where the washer and dryer is I took We have two tape measures. I took them and I put them downstairs in my office and so she hasn't asked for the longest time But then the other day she was like hey, where's the tape measure and I'm like, oh, I think it's in the car and then sure enough She had like this like the sewing Measure and she's got that and she's measuring a shelf in our bedroom and I'm like What are you doing? She's like, yes, I found one on Facebook market. I'm like, oh my gosh. She's unstoppable She's gonna find a way. We're gonna buy stuff on Facebook. We're gonna sell stuff on Facebook. It's just it's the nature of it. I'm doomed Facebook marketplace gosh gift in a curse Gift it's where I got this shirt. No, I'm just kidding. I did not get this from Your wife's just gonna fast forward this part bit. Mm-hmm. Have I ever told you about the time that I got Conned into remodeling the break room at a salon Wait, what? Browse My wife. Hello, you were talking to that. We have to read you have to come help me remodel the break room What it's like nine o'clock at night in a commercial salon she works at wait, okay? Her and the girls at work there got together and decided that they wanted their break room to be nicer And I said you should talk to the owner and see if he'd throw a couple grand to have some new flooring put down This is in a strip mall. I'm assuming no stand-alone building commercial salon, okay And I'm like so talk to the owner and have them remodel it no me and the girls already bought all the stuff I go you went and bought Shit to remodel the break room with your own money Mm-hmm, they measured out the square footage of the they bought lava lamps and pictures of Marilyn Monroe. I Show up. It's me. It's the women and then it's me. Some other dude that has construction experience that like-- - Huffing boyfriend. - Yeah, and then two boyfriends that are useless. - Geez. - Or just be friends. - Me and this one dude, his name was also Nick, or just looking at each other like, "Well, it's just me and you remodel "in this fucking break room, I guess, bro." And they bought like, it wasn't laminate. It was like squishy foam or roll out flour. - Oh, fuck it, they bought the tea for me. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah, so they bought it and they're like, and I'm-- - I've showed up the customer's houses. - Bro. - Yeah, they're like, bro. - Yeah, they bought tea more for me. - Oh, you should've seen the argument. The woman that bought it, this is a flooring I put in my bathroom and my apartment and it looks bomb as fuck. - No, it looked like dog taste. - The argument she had with me, I was like, we can't just like, we gotta take the fucking toilet up. We gotta fucking take the tram off the wall to-- - No, you don't. - No, just cut it. Just cut it and throw it there. I go, you're gonna redo the flooring without taking the toilet up. And she was like, that's what I did in my apartment. I go, why are you remodeling your apartment? First of all, B, I know it doesn't look good. I don't even have to see it. I know it looks like shit. So now me and this guy are ripping the toilet out of a fucking commercial salon. I'm like, one of the women go to Monards, they close in 20 minutes-- - Go get a waxing. - Go get a waxing. - Yeah. - They're like, I don't know what that is. Just fucking tell the guy you need a wax ring for a toilet. He'll know what it is. - And in by two. - Yeah. - By two, 'cause the toilet's sitting higher than you think it is. - Yeah, it was a fucking nightmare. - Geez. - So yeah, is it like nine o'clock at night? - No, we got like 11. - Never fucking do plumbing afternoon. (laughing) - Solid advice. - Solid advice. - No, 'cause it all returns into something else. - Yeah, it's like remodeling a fucking car. You're constantly going back to O'Reilly's, which I don't know if that's a national thing. I know Monards is not. - O'Reilly's is national. - No, when the shower broke. - And the guest bedroom, and I was just pissed off, so I left and you handled it. You knew I was just like, oh, that's Eli's angry. - I still love when you guys call me with electrical problems. (laughing) - I called Hannah to call you. (laughing) - There's a phone tree. - Well, I was trying to find a breaker on something. I didn't, where the fuck is the breaker for this thing? - Oh, you called me on, you called me on that, and I had just smoked a cigarette. At Cody's house, and seeing that there was the breaker on the outside of the house in Texas, which I had never fucking seen before. - Wait, the box is outside of the house. - They split the breaker, so there will be one like in the garage, and then they put like two, 10 outside. So there's the breaker for like the AC unit, the water heater. - Do they do two AC units in Texas? - Yes. - Okay. - Usually, yeah. - I have one, I have different ones for different portions of the house. And then, yeah, so you, and then I forget, something tripped in one of the house in our master bathroom. - Yeah, you called it 'cause like your bathroom and bedroom lights weren't working. - Yeah, and, well, no, this is the one where, I was like, there's no, we've reached everything, and it's like, bad, it's on one of the probably guest bedrooms, there'll be a reset button, I'm like, why the fuck? - This is again, not, that's our kitchen. - That's our kitchen is. - I hit it, and then everything started working. - I was like, oh, the GFCI, you got it. - Yeah, you just popped the GFCI. - But it was in a different bathroom, because it's multi-level house, and like multi-story houses, the bathrooms are usually stacked on top of each other, just to make the plumbing and everything easy. And shitty contractors, what they'll do is, bathroom outlets have to be GF protected. - Shitty contractors, what he means to say is Mexicans. - Ooh, good Lord. - No, just shitty contractors and shitting all do it. - Mexicans. - I don't know, do my people do it? - No, Mexicans, I want to call my dad, and be like, do you do this dad? - Our kitchen is like this. - So like, where our kitchen is, the kitchen leads right into the dining room, and there's, I guess, this GFCI in the kitchen as well. And so if we have like, you know, I don't know, a heater plugged up in the winter time, or something that the kids are using, it'll go, and we just have to pop that little reset. - Well, what I was saying was, when you have a multi-levels to a house, the bathrooms are stacked on top of each other, and what shitty contractors will do is all the bathrooms have to be GFCI protected. Well, a GFCI costs $3 more than a normal outlet. So to save money. - Well, it's like $20 more. It's like $20 for a GFCI. - Not any more. - Really? - You used to be like $20 for a GFCI in like 90 cents for a regular workload. - Well, whatever, I don't give a shit. They'll, instead of having a GFCI in each bathroom, they'll fucking have the GFCI in the bottom bathroom, and then feed. - Everything off of that. - All the other bathrooms, off of one GFCI. So if you trip the one on the third fucking floor, you gotta go down to the first floor to reset your fucking bathroom so they work. - Remember that one now? - First-world problems. - I was like, "Oh, thank you. "Get that work. "Great got it." - Sounds out. - No other ones are outside for some fucking reason. - Best part about being electrician. Every, every time it drops below 50 degrees, I get to spend the next month of my life going on trouble calls to offices with cubicles. My computer isn't working. - Do you have a space heater plugged into your cubicle? - I've got three fucking space heaters plugged into the same outlet my computer is plugged into. - I wonder what demographic that is. - That's white women. - Fat white women. - Yes. - A hundred percent. - And they always have white walls in their blankets. - Yeah, they keep blankets. - And thick ankles. - For real. - No, they don't have ankles. - I don't understand the logic. - It's just a pan. - Because I know this is fucking crazy, but like, do you know what temperature it is in that building in the summer? - 70. - 70. - You know what temperature it is in that building in the winter? - 70, 70, 70, 70, 70 always. - This is same. - Fucking temperature. Why are you calling it? - But it's cold outside. - It's winter. Why are you wearing a tank top? 'Cause I'm fucking inside and every building I'm in is 70 degrees. - They're always fucking hot during the fucking summer and freezing cold during the fucking winter. And they plug in a thousand fucking these little bullshit space heaters on their cubicles. They're like this, but you know exactly what I'm talking about. - They're trying to turn themselves into a fucking hot dog on the rollers. Like it's the same. - That's what their ankles look like is the hot dog on the rollers. - And then during the summer, they're called swamp coolers. - The little icebox with that van on it, yes. And they plug in like through, it's fucking fat bitches. Every fucking time. - Oh Lord, dude. - During the summer. No, he's experienced that as well. - Dude, it's-- - You go out and you take those fucking calls and you have to crawl up into the fucking, that you push the ceiling tiles to the side to go up in the fucking breaker box and flip the fucking breaker and tell this fat fucking to unplug three of her fucking swamp coolers. - Bro, it's hot in here. - They're the most annoying people on the fucking, I was at a job once. We were not gonna wall out and there was a panel there. I'm the electric, they call me in. I gotta fucking unwire everything in this panel. Move the fucking panel, redo the piping, like six feet to the right, geez. Where they're not knocking this whole. That's fine, like that's just part of the job. I rewire the panel, put the new panel back in. I'm like packing my shit up to go. There's now a hole where the panel used to be in this wall and then by the time I got done, they decided they weren't gonna knock a fucking hole there anymore. - Oh my gosh. - Whatever, I got paid, I don't give a shit. So the maintenance guy comes out and he's like measuring drywall to patch this hole. - He's like, why do you leave all these wire clippings on the floor? The least you could have done is swept them up. - 100%. - So he goes, puts the fucking patch in, muds it and then he goes to paint. He cracks the can of paint. I'm not shitting you within 10 seconds. Some fat bitch gets up and waddles her ass to the corner office and then they're in there for three minutes and then the fucking office manager comes out and tells the maintenance guy, you have to come back and paint at night because the fumes are upsetting some of the workers. - Oh my gosh. - What did I fucking say? Dude, fucking fat bitches in offices. They're all the fucking saying. - The most insufferable people on the planet. - I'm getting light headed from the fumes. It's fucking paint, you fat. Jesus, fucking Christ. - Oh. - You know, it's also the same when you pepper spray somebody in a hospital ER. (laughing) - What the fuck? - It's the same. It's like, come on. You'll be fine. It's not that bad. - A little fast. - Yeah, a little spice, little flavor in your life. That was another email and phone call that I got. - Really what? - Yeah, so, you know, I'm not really big on using a taser. I've never relied on a taser, 100% because, you know, with clothing and, you know, with just, you know, rain and everything else, it's just, they're not, I mean, they're a great tool to have. I'm not going to disparage them, but I've just never been big on it. - Drugs are anything like that, really. We've seen the videos of the dudes is like throwing them off. - Well, most times it's a bad connection. And, you know, they're not 100% reliable. When they work, they work, but I just never really relied on it. And so there was this guy, I was on a mental health call and I got relief, so someone came to send me back to the county 'cause I was in the city at the hospital. And when you get relief, someone comes in and is like, hey, you're good to go, we'll take over and see this through. So I'm walking out there, well, there was a voluntary mental patient that had been sitting in the hospital for like 12 hours and got no help. And because he's voluntary in mental health, they had security sitting there. Hospital security retired guy, not good on his feet, not really built for security. He's sitting outside this guy's room, though. This guy's getting amped up for sitting here for 12 hours and receiving no help. So the guy kicks the door, they had the sliding doors, but the doors will come off the hinge if somebody hits it. He merges, he mocks, yeah. So he kicks the door and he's coming out of the room and all he hears is just yelling. And he's he's coming out of the room like this and it's like it happened in slow motion. And I see him draws his fist back and he's sprinting towards the security guard. Security guard was sitting there on his phone and looks up at the last second. And I see it happening and I had my spray on my vest and I take my spray out. I used to shake it, you know, quite a bit. I give it one shake and I just let this guy have it. I just hose him down and it keeps so he goes to throw the punch in this. He couldn't throw it because he closed his eyes and ended up subduing him and me and all of my experience. I'm going to get someone else to put handcuffs on him because I'm not babysitting this guy. So we're in the city. I get a city officer. It's a hey, let's put handcuffs on and they put handcuffs on him. And one of the, I don't know, one of the ER staff comes up and was like, why did you use pepper spray in here? And I was like, uh, because there was an assault that was taking place in my presence and I had to take action. Well, now we have to clear the whole ER. I was like, no, you don't. It's fine. It's actually dissipating now. So you don't have to do that. And then next thing I know a city supervisor and the city, um, right, because I work for the county, but I was in the city. This city, they will prosecute law enforcement. It's one of those cities. And so there was a supervisor that showed up that I had actually done SWAT school with and he shows up and he's like, what happened? I was like, the guy was going to punch a security guard and I sprayed him and one of your guys detained him and, you know, and just taken him into custody. And he's like, okay, okay, um, why'd you spray him? And like, you didn't hear what I just said. He was in the act of assaulting an elderly citizen. And I sprayed him. He's like, well, why didn't you just taste him? I was like, look, okay, are you going to charge me? Are we going to Monday morning quarterback this thing? He's like, well, no, no, no, just, you know, just trying to get your mindset. And I was like, my mindset was stopping an elderly person from being assaulted. And then sure enough, the charge nurse emails my supervisor, my supervisor emails me phone, give me a call on phone, hey, come up to the office. I get called on to the carpet and they're like, why did you do that? Why not? Was, was that the wrong action to take? Well, you know, you just have to be considerate of people around you blah, blah, blah. I was like, or I could be considered of the elderly man that was about to be knocked into the afterlife by this large, angry mental health patient. And so yeah, that kind of kind of became a thing and the correct answer should I use my gun? I was going to say that that was exactly what I was going to say. How would they have felt if you drew your gun and fired on him? Well, I wouldn't have done that. I only shoot people that need shooting. That's always, that's always been my thing. I've never shot anybody that didn't need no shooting. So they need shooting? Shoot him. Well, he could have knocked old man on his ass and split his head on the concrete, but he didn't because I knew what I was doing. You were accurate with that pepper spray. Oh, yeah. And one of the, so one of the things with pepper spray like pocus sauce, there was a guy that I pepper sprayed once this guy. He got into a fight with his brother and he ended up punching a window and he had a, it cut his arterial under the arterial, freaky, freaky, freaky artery. Blew out real quick on that bitch. So I get there and I'm at the house. Mom is literally having a heart attack from the amount of blood. The dude who cut himself is nowhere to be found and wait, mom is, is having a heart attack because she saw her, she saw, she got, yeah, she got worked up. She saw the blood. She went, she, they said she started with a panic attack. She ended up having a heart attack. So I call, I call an ambulance for her. Blood shoots out at a, if you're not, it's an arterial bleeding. It is different. Dude, it is, oh, it is, it's like, it's like, it's like the wall forever. Yeah, for every beat of your heart, you are shooting that across the room. So then I hear screaming up the street and I'm like, and so the brother, one of the other brothers was there. I said, look after her if she stops breathing, call us. And so I go outside. I'm just following the blood trail and it's this zigzag blood trail. There's bloody footprints and I'm hearing the screaming. I run down and the dude standing like at the end of the block and he's like, yeah, shoot me. I was like, no, I'm not going to shoot you. He's wearing a shirt. He's wearing a beater. He's wearing a beater in basketball shorts and the whole right side is just bright red all the way down. What's bright red mean? Well. The oxygen. It means he finna die. Bright red and bubbles. Not a good look. I was like, sir, let me help you. He's like, nah, nah. Shoot me. I was like, I'm not going to shoot you. And so my partner shows up and he's like, what are we going to do? And I'm already like, taking my spray out. And so I was like, I look at my partner and I was like, and just, just doused him. And he falls to the ground. We run up, put a turn of kid on. There was blood everywhere. So I end up having to go into surgery with this guy because at this point he's in my custody. And so I'm, they asked me like, well, what'd you see on scene? I was like, a lot of blood. And they're like, was it bright red? I said, yes. Were there bubbles? Yes. How far did he run? I was like, he probably ran maybe 50 feet and they're like, and he was still on his feet when you saw him. That's what I'm saying right now. And I was like, yeah, he was, he was on his feet. He got into a fight, cut his arm, ran 50 feet and was still able to oppose law enforcement. And right when we put the turn of kid on him, that was when he passed out. Did he survive? He survived. Well, actually, it's funny because he survived. And he was still in law enforcement custody. I was on midnight shift. So at the end of my shift, after surgery, which was really cool sitting and watching the doctor put him back together, I got relief. Day shift came and relieved me and they ended up issuing the warrant. They served the warrant, but they turned him over to hospital custody. The guy stole a cell phone, called his dealer, bought drugs at the jail and he looped from the hospital. And I was like, you know what? That sounds like a tomorrow problem. That sounds like the kind of thing that you can brother. Yeah. If he's gone, he's gone. I'm not going to go looking for him. We're at. We're at on the arm was tomorrow. It was really high. It was really high. It was a high one too. Yeah. Like here. Yeah. Yeah. It was right in here. It was just enough. We had to get the turn of kid to get under his dough. It was always on the inside. Yeah. So he punched the window and it was, it almost looked like he went straight through the window and then dropped it down down. So yeah, the break ill and the tomorrow, but both are very large, very fucking large and you'll bleed out. 50 like to run that far as wild. Well, I think he was high when it happened and I don't know if I, it was a miracle. I mean, he was a miracle the guy didn't die because I, I sure, I thought he was going to die. From the, from what I saw, I've never seen blood shoot that far outside of like guys that have been blown up. And like you see like some of the, you know, some of the limbs come off and everything else. It was like a steady, it was like a super soaker stream. It was insane. See, when you have an ID explosion, it's like you have, we've seven seconds to apply your own turn of kid. Like under 10, you want to get your turn to kid on, twisted tight foot, just taught with IDs or fast explosions. One of the benefits of losing your limb is your body also acts as a turn. Okay. Your muscles tight. I can track and then that pinches those, the arteries, you know, I never just fucking turn a kid time. That's fucking insane. Yeah. Run that far. Oh yeah. It was insane. Cause it is very rare. So the first time I really saw like that level of bleeding, I may or may not have been watching an ISR feed and there was an explosion that took place and they're dragging this guy. They're dragging this guy and I'm like, I was like, are they dragging him through irrigation, where is it? Where is there all this water on the ground? And one of the TLS was like, that's not water. And so they're dragging him and they're dragging him to, you know, another mud hut. And at some point, it was like, it's just a constant, it looked like a constant, like a little irrigation stream of water and at some point it stopped. And you see the guy that's dragging him, look down and he just drops him and takes off running. And that's the first time that I had seen that amount of blood come from a person. So you're looking at this, it's really dark areas and then you're dragging somebody and you're visually just seeing a very white area with white shooting out. And then the white stops shooting out and you're like, huh? And then he's like, huh? Yes. I dropped it. I dropped it. I dropped it from my mind for whatever reason. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Good times. And then we're going into surgery and I didn't realize they do this declaration because they want to make sure when they do a surgery, they're operating on the right body part. But they go through the list of everything they're doing. And the nurse, the OR nurse was like, you might want to sit down for this. I'm like, lady, I've seen people ripped in half by cars and bombs. This is not that big a deal. I'm next to the doctor. The doctor was like, so where's the doctor's, and he's like, you've ever seen this? When I'm looking, I'm watching him, so put stitches inside of the inside of this guy's arm. And I'm like, over the doctor's shoulder, he was like, take a look at this, get a closer look. He's like, you want to take a picture of it? And I was like, no, I don't. But this is great. And the nurse was like, he's probably going to pass out. And I was like, he's already, he's already asleep and the doctor goes, she's talking about you. I was like, get her out of here. Talk about this before, like, when I went in, both times, yeah, both my kids, Hannah goes in to give birth. And every time there's this moment where all the nurses in the doctor like, look, dad, are you going to stay in the room for this? Yes. We, it's like, it was the same speech both times. If you get lightheaded and fall down and pass out, we don't care about you. We're not gonna help you. - Yeah, we are fine. - That's great, that's fine. Help my wife, that's what you're fucking here for. But also, it's gotta be a common thing for them to care that much. - Well, fun fact about passing out when my first kid was born, I passed out. - Wait, what? - I did. So, I'm at work. - That's why you guys don't stick around. (laughing) (laughing) - Yeah, I need that clip. I need that clip. - Yeah. - We have wizard charms. - I'm out of here, I can't do it, I can't do it. - Like that got everyone good, perfect. - So, my wife's coworker calls me. I'm in the middle of my shift. And the hospital was like 40 minutes away from the zone that I was working. And so, I just get in my car and I just go. And I'm just like, within the speed limit. And I get there, and the second I get out of my car and go to run in the door, I go to the elevator, and there's like this old couple. And they're like, one is in a wheelchair, and one has like one of the walkers that has like the seat on it. And they're like, "Oh, I don't know "how to get on the elevator." 'Cause they're, where are you giving birth? Get the fuck out of the way. - I wasn't waiting. So, I went to the steps and I ran up four flights. And I went to the labor and delivery. Labor and delivery, you can't just walk in. You have to ring the bell and everything else. And so, because I'm in uniform, I ring the bell. They let me in, I'm like bustin' through the door, like, "Where's my wife?" And I was just amped up the adrenaline and everything. And so, I find, I get to the room and she was fine. She was just starting off, but she was only in labor for four hours. - Oh, that was actually a quick one. - It was very quick. All three of our kids were very quick. - There's gonna be 12 to 24 or four hours. - So, people out there that's never experienced this. - This is a round one. - Yeah, this is the first one. And so, I had taken the emergency childbirth class and I've been very close to delivering babies a handful of times, but never had to go through with it because medical staff shows up. So, I'm literally watching this in real time and it's like, okay, this is cool. It's kinda scary. I'm a dad now and then the baby comes out and I see her and I'm like overcome with emotion. I'm amped up, you know, I didn't cry at all. I didn't cry until my last kid because I knew that that was like, that's my last time experiencing this. And so, I cut the ability, a billetable cord. - A billetable cord? - I cut the ability. - I'm going to move it. - Yeah, yeah, I cut the cable. And I cut the fiber off the cable. - I got the cable in my child from the matrix. - And so, A, I cut the cable and shit. - And so, the staff is congratulating us and they go, "Mr. Penderhuse, would you like to hold your baby?" And I said, and I was standing there, I was like yeah. And they were like, you started swaying. And before I knew it, I was laying on the floor and the nurse comes running in with smelling salt and she does one wipe of the smelling salt and I start to wake up. They've got the shears. They're about to cut my uniform off. I had this uniform tailored to my body. And as soon as I see the shears, I smacked her hand. The shears go flying across the room and she goes, and I was like, you will not cut this uniform. And like, I came to and everything else. - I just picture the undertaker. - You said that. - That's not what I said. - I am a father now, well I called your baby. - And so, I went and I held the baby. And so, like, after we got home, my wife was like, you know, you assaulted medical staff. I was like, no, I didn't. I was like, they're about to cut my uniform. I just moved the scissors out of the issues. Like, no, you smacked that woman's hand and it echoed throughout labor and delivery. - $15,000. - I was like, are they mad? She was like, no, they weren't mad. They actually had a good laugh because you passed out. And I was like, who else have you told about this? And she was like, everybody, everybody. - Yeah, so, yeah, I passed out on the first one. And, but, you know, she's alive and healthy now. She's, you know, 16, and you're white. - They just, no. - Are you kidding me right now? - Hey, hey, cut that. That is enough. I'm sorry. - I didn't say you were. - I didn't say you did. - I like that one so much. - He's got a small head. - Where's hats in the shower? - Fuck off. - I'm gonna steal your hat. - No. - Turn your head. I'm gonna mock you. Turn your head and show 'em your little dongle back here. - We're like a doggie. - I could tuck that in. - Yeah, he could. - But I don't. - And we were in the same size hat. - Well, this is a gypsy camp over there. - Oh my gosh. - Hey, big song, you tucked that in. - Speaking of gypsies. - Oh. - Okay. - Let's go. - Why did that sound the racist? - Y'all want to talk about gypsies? - Hey, give me some long cut. (laughing) - We just have a lot of them in Virginia. - All nips. - Dip in your lip. - Are they real? - Yes. - Yes. - Wait, where? - I won't say where. - 'Cause the internet doesn't need to know where I've been employed. - Show. - Show is. - She's from Ireland, so she knows. - Yeah, so she's like, oh, fucking jippo. - Oh my god. - Oh, jippo is a slur. - Is it really? - Oh, fucking gypsies. - God, I didn't say it. I don't say slurs on the internet. I don't know what's, I don't say error. - It's a European slur. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - How do you identify a gypsy? - Okay. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm in my best castle. They're trying to fuck a hunch back in order. - Let's see what you think I know. - There are no meds. They're often unhoused, and they move in large groups unhoused. That's the best description I have. And they'll go and they'll set up like a corner, like they do like farmers markets and stuff like that. But then they also, the ones that I've encountered, they're real. - There arenies with no Ferris wheels. Okay, that's what they are. - Yeah. - Dude, that is the greatest issue. - Imagine Carnies, but they don't bring in money. - Carnies with no rides. - Yeah. - And they steal. - Do they still have the wagons like I'm thinking to my mind? - In Europe they do. - Yeah. - They have wag, yeah, so it's a mixture. They even will have a full worries and shit. - I've seen them with station wagons with, and they have, they have like. - Caribbean's, okay. - Caribbean's, yeah. - They have trailers. So they'll hook up a trailer to a car or to, to whatever they're driving. And it's the ones that I've experienced, and this is my lived experience, it's always like full of junk. They have like ceiling fans and window AC units. - I'm just saying, I'm just saying, like it's, it's. - They're white. - The fuck it got. - Man's it. - AC's. - Yeah. - No white. - These are white. - Driving around with a saw horse. Like, what is, who's is this? Where'd you get this? It just, yeah, there's, there's, it's a pattern. - They're brown. - I like this guy, Darnel, more than anything, right? - They're brown whites, they're Turkish. - I don't hate them. - AC's. - I love them. - Is this camera on me? I love them. - And solar. - I think. - I hate them. (laughing) - Yes. - Documentaries of when they're in town are around an area. All they AC hardware stores are like, nope. We close it off. Like, we wouldn't know when they come in. - But like, they'll, they'll, they'll buy and resell. So in Virginia, you can buy like four cartons of cigarettes. They'll go from gas station to gas station in the same jurisdiction. And we'll get a call and like, hey, we think these people are buying cigarettes to sell them individually. And without fail, they'll get these big trash bags. It just cartons of cigarettes in these trash bags. And they take them to New York and they resell them. And it just, it's a thing. It's a thing. - Oh, that's a big federal crime. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - They do not get it. - No, that is a, that's a huge time federal crime. - Yeah. - Reselling cigarettes. - But that's what they would do. - That's a federal crime. - They would buy them and resell them. And it just, I mean, tobacco is regulated. So. - Dude, when you watch the documentaries, especially when they're overseas, it's like the gypsy kids were like, I don't know why people don't like us. And it's them pulling up to a spot, destroying it. - Yeah. - And then bouncing. - You're like, 'cause you're from a foreign nation and you're littering. - Walking your trap, take over your trap. - And then the former, I mean, the farmers over in the UK, you watch when they drive around their tractors and spray them with manure. - Yeah. - I've seen that. - Yeah, they do not fuck around. - Well, like out of here. - Yep. - Well, they have so little legal, blah, blah, blah, blah. - They have so little legal protection to like guard themselves from being invaded by gypsies. - Dude, dude, Con, I can tell that last Valkyrie shot did the trick. (laughing) - I was like, oh, that's drunk Conner's voice just hit. - Oh, I just did this, he was like, he did do. - Yeah. Hey, he's gonna be looking for a Lego head here in a minute. Who would he have? I know about the Lego heads. - We can go to the after show if we want? - We're going straight to the after show. - Oh, wait, where do we find you? You beautiful son of a bitch. - So, best way to support the channel. Head over to KingPixMedia.com. - Spell it. - Click the merch drop down. K-I-N-G-P-I-X-M-E-D-I-A. KingPixMedia and KingPixMedia TV on YouTube and Instagram, but also KingPixMedia on Twitch and Kick. And generally, like I said, I stream every day. Every day, I knock out two hours. I do everything from political discussion to gaming. We've been doing a lot of colloduty lately. But I've been really consistent with it, trying to build up the stream. So, discord, I don't know how to share, like, I guess I'll, I'll talk to you more about the Discord stuff. Still kind of new there, still trying to figure it out. We got about 200 members now, but trying to build that out, but yeah, mainly the stream and then Instagram. - Dude, it's been an absolute pleasure. We always love when you're around. - Oh, it's awesome. - It's awesome here. Finally on an episode, but you have been here as we have shown. - I've been to this house, but you've been here before, we've proved it. - You've been to the unsubscribed podcast house before we proved it. - Yep. - Everybody knows it. - Just got lost in the sauce. - Liar.com. (laughing) - That was the thing that I ended this episode. - We'll figure it out. Thank you once again for tuning in to the unsubscribed podcast. I was joined once and always, by fucking Eli Double Dad. - The fat electrician, Chris AKA Kingpix Media. (laughing) - Don't do that. - Don't do that. - You gotta darn now the fucking end. - Don't do that. (laughing) - Do not do that. - No. - Don't. - Sorry, mom. (laughing) - And also-- - We gotta wrap this up. - Don't an operator. - Do an end for the unsubscribed podcast. Patreon after show. We love you. - This is-- (claps) - Bye bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)