555: The Stress-Less Guide to Finals: Three Simple Tips to Stay Calm and Focused

(upbeat music) The College Prep Podcast for parents, teachers, and teams who want better grades with less stress on the path to the perfect college. - Welcome back to another episode of the College Prep Podcast. I'm Megan Dorsey from College Prep Results where I work with high school students on their families, to increase their options for college admission. I'm here today with my co-host. - Hey everyone, I'm Edward from AlmaModern, which is a place for educators to learn all the skills and strategies their students need to thrive in college. All right, so today we are getting close to final exam season. And this is a particularly tense time for people. And as educators, as parents, we absolutely wanna do our best and flood our students with all of these strategies and all of these things they should and shouldn't be doing. But at the end of the day, I'd like to challenge us to keep it as simple as possible. So what I'd like to do is for us to discuss just three simple tips that we can share with students that are very actionable and that we can share one at a time and they can actually implement to see some type of improvement in reducing some of that stress and anxiety and helping them actually earn the grades they want to on their finals. How does that sound? - I think it sounds perfect. And I was laughing when you brought up the suggestion of very actionable and doable tips because I think of my friend who's a college professor who inevitably at the end of every semester gets the crying student in the office saying, "What can I do to make up this whole semester worth of?" And his answer is always like, "Well, you can build a time machine. "Get back to September." We know that's not possible. So I love the idea of strategies that meet kids where they are today that are reasonable and doable and do not require this like 40-page handbook and flow chart and matrix of how to get there because we need something we can do now. - Right, absolutely. In the moment, we've got to diffuse the situation, right? - Exactly. - So tip number one, nice and simple. We are going to breathe and prioritize. Breathe and prioritize. I think that so often we have students who get so worked up. They're feeling anxious, they're overwhelmed. They literally forget to breathe. I think that if they would just take a moment to pause and just recenter themselves, it goes such a long way to just think, "What are all the things "that are stressing me out "that are spiraling around in my brain? "Let me just take a second here "and not build up all this anxiety." Which can lead to spiraling and rabbit holes that they're chasing and all of these crazy things. So let's just breathe. And then we are going, while we're breathing, we're gonna just prioritize. What is the next most important thing I actually need to get done? I think we just get lost in the chaos of I've got a paper and my group project, that group member is not contributing and I've got this test and I didn't go to this class and I lost my flashcards and all the things. And we forget to say, well, what is the next most meaningful thing I need to do right now? Before I worry, you're wasting all of that time and energy worrying, what can I actually do to move myself forward? - And I love the idea of what's one, the next step. And I would add, what's the next most impactful step? If I have five particular things I can do for my math class, what's the one that's gonna impact my grade the most? That I can actually do something about. So I don't need to make a list of the hundred things I need to do. What's the one thing that's next? - Right, exactly. And with that prioritization, you hit on it exactly, which is how to find what is the next most important thing for me to do. Often we run to the thing that feels the most stressful or the thing we like the most. Those are natural reactions we tend to have. But what I would challenge students to do, whether this is, I don't know if this is really what we want to encourage as educators, but to say, what is the class that is most likely to be dropped right now to fail? That's probably the one that we should be giving a little bit more attention to. So yeah, you may not eke out the A in all of the other things, but at least you won't get an F in this one. And so it's like, how do we try to raise the one that's hurting the most? That's probably where we should be focusing the bulk of our attention. I describe that to my students as what's on fire. I was a student back a month or so ago, who was like, I know my SAT is coming this Saturday, but I want to work on my college applications, which aren't due for two weeks. No, this Saturday is on fire. Two weeks, you can deal with that after you pass the SAT. But sometimes they just get so caught up. College applications seemed so big and important that they didn't look and say, if I do my college applications now, I won't have time later to address this thing that's more immediate. - No, absolutely. - Do what's on fire. - I really like that, I'm gonna have to borrow that. Because sometimes if that's the thing that sinks you, then none of the other stuff matters, right? And we'll focus on moving the 98 to 100 when we've got to get something else to passing. That deserves the attention. - That brings up a funny story at a student last year who was just literally in one of the almost meltdown scenarios over all the things she had to do. And I said, well, okay, what is it really that you have that's going on? Well, right now I'm working on coloring the extra credit book cover for my project. Why are you not doing the project itself? The extra credit is a small bit on top of it. But for some reason she had been distracted by that piece and have forgotten the bulk of your score is coming from something that you are currently ignoring. And I think sometimes when students get in a panic, their logic brain does not say, what's the due date? What's the thing that's due next? And what's the thing that's worth the most? - Yeah, totally. And isn't it crazy how this follows us, even to our lives right now, right? There are other things we could and should be doing, but we wanna do the thing that feels more fun or more exciting for us. And so if we can nip that habit a little bit earlier, right? It's something that's gonna follow them to work in the rest of their lives too. So- - So we're going to breathe and plan. - Exactly, breathe and prioritize just one plan, right? What's the one thing? - One thing that we do next. - Yes, the thing on fire. - Yes. So now tip number two is while students are so worked up and they're feeling all of this stress and anxiety, the number one thing that comes to mind for them as well, I just gotta keep running, I've just gotta keep going and then sleep goes away, right? It's such a common phenomenon. And it's almost a point of pride among students, right? To say, oh, I pulled an all nighter. There's this badge, right? In their mind, they get this badge as merit and carrying the big old cup of coffee into class because they're exhausted. And it sadly has been incorporated into the mindset of what a college experience is supposed to be like. We're supposed to feel stressed. We're supposed to be up all night. And if not, you're doing something wrong. And the thing is learning tells us the exact opposite is true. We cannot function well when we're tired. It's just the way it is. Even sleepy driving can be as bad as drunk driving. We know that. And so the fact that we think I'm going to cram all of this information into my brain, using typically very weak study strategies that come to mind at midnight, things like just rote memorization of my flashcards. And then I'm only going to sleep a couple of hours before I've got to get up and go to class. Your brain is not in a position to do what it's supposed to do, right? - I just remember I stopped pulling all nighters after my freshman year. I have a very, very vivid recollection of staying up almost all night writing a paper. And as I was typing it, I was thinking this is the best thing I've ever written. This is pure genius. And I finish it, print it off. Because that was back in the day where we actually literally handed things in instead of submitting electronically. That shows my age. Went to class the next day, got the paper back a couple of weeks later with an okay but not genius level grade on it. And I started reading over it. I was like, oh, I am so embarrassed. This is terrible. And that's when I realized that middle of the night brain will lie to you. Oh, this is genius. No, it wasn't. That was horrible. Had I been able to write it a day or two earlier, put it aside and then go back and edit, it could have been a great paper, but it was not. And from then on, I really started limiting the type of serious work I did after midnight. I really tried to avoid it. And I'm proud to say that I did not have to do any all-nighters after my freshman year. I learned my lesson. - Yeah, definitely, and that's good, right? I think there's so many stories of students where it's like your brain is literally impaired when it's sleepy. No matter how much good stuff it has, not only are you not retaining the information or the quality of the work that you're doing while you're on this all-nighter, all of the other stuff you already know is also going out the window, even though it was already in your brain because your brain is just trying to conserve energy to stay awake, to breathe and to keep your eyes open and all those things. So even if you already know it, you're hurting that information as well. So you're losing all the way around. - And if you look at it from a neuroscience, and of course I am not a neuroscientist perspective, they talk about how so much of the encoding of what you learn happens when you sleep. And if you do not give your brain adequate time to sleep, your brain is not actually retaining what you tried putting into it. So that all-night cram session, did you know good? - Right, exactly. - You have to sleep. - Yeah, a great metaphor for that is at night, what your brain is literally doing is you can picture these little workers that are pulling out all these drawers of little cards and filing information away from you and building these strong structures in your brain to say, oh, I already know about this. Now I see this new little link. Let me build these new little connections in your brain, which makes learning stronger. And all of that happens while you're sleeping because you're not getting all of this other stimulus coming in, your brain has time to just focus and to do its job. And we're robbing our brain of that focus when we're staying awake. And so then how do we avoid this? The simple sort of follow-up tip on this tip is just it's better to schedule in shorter, more focused sessions spread throughout your week than to stay up late, right? Is it better to study from midnight till 3 a.m. Or is it better to say, just get 30 minutes done before midnight, you're probably better off with that option, even though it's less time, it's not gonna interrupt your sleep. And just thinking, how can I maximize these little pockets that I have throughout my week? Just find a tiny space for a study session here and there so that I've got a firm cutoff. And if my cutoff is 10 p.m., if it's 11 p.m., 12 a.m., then that's my cutoff. And if I don't have it in my brain, if I haven't studied it by then, there's no point in putting it in after that. - And I would say, as a parent, we really started to try to build some of the skills starting around junior high school, sixth, seventh grade. By fifth grade, literally you can do anything for the next day, the night before. But the further you start going and the harder those classes get, the more it was helpful to say, let's look two days ahead. Let's look three days ahead. Are you looking to next week to see what you need to do? And I think that doesn't mean you have to schedule it out for your students, but start encouraging your younger kids, whether they're your own children or students you're working with as an educator, to look ahead and not just think, what do I need to do for tomorrow? So that they can plan it out in a way that allows them to get that much needed sleep. - Yeah, yeah, gotta get ahead of it. - And how can we get rid of this idea that the all nighter's a badge of honor? Maybe that's a topic for another day, but... - Yeah, I think that for some reason, when something looks or feels very hard, there's a sense of pride that comes with overcoming it, right? And I think that because we find pride in, oh, I stayed up all night and I still managed to make it to my test and I pulled off a B, right? That suddenly that reinforces this idea that, oh, that's a good thing. But then you've got to step back and say, but look at the other student who never seems stressed, who always gets it done, who looks well rested and isn't running in their pajamas to take the test late. That student has it so together. Why don't we say, wow, what is that student doing that I could learn from so that I don't feel so scattered? How can we shift people's minds to say, it's not better because it was harder? Harder doesn't mean better. It's just you chose the harder path, is all. - It was funny when my daughter was in high school. She said, well, I know this guy stayed up until 3 a.m. working on it. Now part of this was you, my parents are being mean by making me go to bed. Hard stop was at 11 p.m. for her. And I said, no, he wasn't. I talked to his mom this morning and she was mentioning that he was in bed by midnight, which is a little bit later than what we allowed her to stay up. But it's so much this idea of, oh, look at me, that you have to understand that people are even lying about it because they think it makes them look smarter, harder working, more dedicated. And they're not always telling the truth. So sad. - And that culture just, it sticks. The person who works 80 hours a week, 100 hours a week, we perceive as more successful, as more together than the person who can get it all done in 20 or 30 or 40. And so I think that sticks with us all the time. And so we got to get rid of that. - Something we need to question and value sleep. Okay, so we've got two things down. What's your third suggestion? - So number three is just to find your focus zone. So there are a lot of people out there right now who talk about the idea of like Cal Newport, getting into this mindset of deep work. Can we get into a flow state into zone so we can get our best work or best studying done in a block? And this is key for students because typically our students are like, well, let me flop on the bed and pull out my book. I'm just going to reread my textbook over and over, which we know isn't very effective. And then they're checking their phone because they get pinged and then they go grab a snack and then they come back and someone comes into the room and there's distraction after distraction after distraction. And so we have to think, how can we set up a zone for ourselves where we can minimize our distractions, where we can shut down the tech and the apps and all of the things that ping us and just really focus and concentrate. And that means letting people know, I'm going to study now. If that means putting a do not disturb sign on your door, if that means like sending out an alert or literally turning your phone off, as hard as that may feel for some students. - And I have a lot of students tell them, put it in airplane mode. You can still use some of the functional tools that you might be using, but you won't get all the other stuff. - Totally, exactly. And get out of your bed. I'm always telling students, please don't study or do work in your bed. And that's because we're creatures of habit and our brains associate certain activities with certain places. And so if it knows that your bed is a place for relaxation and for you to scroll your phone, even though I don't recommend we do that, if that's what your brain is conditioned to do there, when you try to study there, your brain wants to fall asleep. It's just going to be easier for it to sleep because it's in its sleeping environment. So how do we create an environment that's conducive to studying that starts with our awareness? How light and bright do I like it? How noisy do I like it? Do I like to sit up in a firm chair? Do I prefer lounging in a bean bag? What is the right mode for me? And that actually works for my brain, but it requires that the student really reflect on that to create an environment that is conducive for them to learn and study. - For the last nine years, my dining room table has been sacrificed to high school work. The dining room table has been the place each kid has been able to do their schoolwork. It's not where we're eating dinner. We'll eat dinner at the kitchen table. I'm not on the TV right in there. So I might be watching TV in the other room, but it's not right there. And that's been a good compromise for us. You're not up in your bedroom laying in your bed. You're not trying to lay on the floor. Here's a dedicated flat surface study-like area where you can get your schoolwork done. - Yeah, absolutely. And I'd like to just quickly inject that I understand not every student has a table, a nice dining table, has their own room. I get that. And so what I encourage students to do is simulate as many of the things that are conducive to your learning. If you share a room with siblings, let's not study in there if they're in there. Or you create a schedule with your siblings. Can I have the room at this time so I can do this? And that helps them create a space for themselves. But that means you have to go sit in a car. If you have to go sit outside somewhere quiet at the park, go to the public library. Whatever is going to promote your learning, let's get your mind into that state so that you can get into that focus zone and into your flow. And it's going to make it way less friction, for sure. - Oh, and I think last episode you suggested when you're in college, go to the library. Or some type of study space. I think that naturally cuts down on the distractions. - Yep, absolutely. - You're not able to do all of those other things. You have to make more of an effort to jump up and go get a snack if you're in the library or at a dedicated quiet place for studying. - Right, and the research shows once you're there and you start working, you'll just stay there. So it's like if you go into the library and just plan on five minutes. Say I'll go in there for five minutes and do one thing for five minutes, you'll end up staying for a couple hours because you're already there. And your brain will just want to stay. And so just overcoming that initial bit of friction to get into your focus zone. It's hard at first, but then once you're in it, you'll stay for as long as you need to. - Random question. Do you find that students do well trying to do this type of studying with a group? Would getting a study group together, and I find it's mixed results. For some people, it's good. For some people, it's a giant distraction. Yes, I think that there's so much that should be done to train students on how to facilitate a study group. A study group should be a guided experience. And a lot of colleges and universities will have study groups available or something called supplemental instruction sessions where you can go and study with a group of your peers. And it's a guided thing. And because if not, we risk it just becomes a goof off time. We're hanging out. We talk about stuff that's not actually studying. And so if it's unstructured, that's a recipe for disaster. But also there is the concept of co-working or body doubling. And that's starting to gain a little more traction now as there's more executive function awareness out there. And the research does show that just even logging on to Zoom with someone and saying, let's just work quietly alongside each other. We're not even in the same class. But you've got something you can get done. I've got something I can get done is a really big benefit to help people feel more motivated to get work done. So those are two options to work alongside people. I like that idea because for some people, having the accountability buddy, I'm going to log in. You're going to log in. You can see me doing it. You'll keep me honest. Makes it a little bit easier than just having to force myself to do it. Yeah, definitely. Well, these are three great tips. And here's the thing. Anybody, no matter where you are, could use this. Seventh grade are getting ready to take their first exam and history class could take this all the way to students working in college exams. Yes, absolutely. So best of luck on all the exams ending this fall semester for everyone who has their exams in December. This is very timely. If you're one of those students who has a situation where your exams aren't going to be till January, keep this in mind. Get ahead now. But bookmark this as something you could come back and work on later. Yeah, please do. Don't forget. That's right. Have a great week, everyone. Bye, everyone.