The Stadium Sponsors Draft (feat. Michael Baumann and Matthew Roberson)

(upbeat music) Tell us a little bit about what you saw and being able to relay that message to Korra when you watch Kimberl pitch and kind of help out so he wasn't tipping his pitches. - So tipping pitches, we hear about it all the time. - People at home understand what tipping pitches all about. - It's amazing. - Yeah, that's remarkable. (upbeat music) - Alex, I have a question for you. - Yes. - Do you remember how we came up with this stadium's concert employment draft? - I think it was just an amalgamation of everything we do here, right? We love drafts. - Do we? - We love to be too. - We do that many drafts. - We've done a handful though. - We love each picking things. Like we love lists. I mean, this is the rule of Buzzfeed, right? Is people love a list? - People love a bunch of objective right now. - Right now. - Buzzfeed. Oh my God, Jonah Peretti, that's a great question. I hopefully living his best life basking in the media world which he birthed. - A cool one. - A good one. - When we're proud of. - We're building kind of on the legacy of that. I don't even know how we got it. It's like a Buzzfeed aside here. We're enjoying the podcast that we did the most work for in the last year. - People love objective lists based on subjective things. - Correct. - We know this. We know this from the alignment chart. - Yeah, they love from people loved the aligns in chart. - Hey, you know what? Love it or hate it? - You listen. (laughing) - Or maybe you watched along silently while you listened to the podcast version and you selectively paused it so that they wouldn't get unsinked. Like some people who listened. - I was gonna acknowledge that a couple of weeks ago on the pre-recorded version on the MPP pod about the pushback that we got to the alignment chart and then I just decided not to. Because if someone was mad at us for that pod and they came back for one more pod, my goal with the MPP episode was to be like, don't keep listening if you're gonna be mad. Don't. (laughing) And then the same with the rendering spot. It was like, this is the actual, this is the real shit that we're doing here. Don't try to come and be like, this is a hot take zone where we have playful, angry, back and forth debate about things in a bit. No, that's not what this is. That's not, this is where we come to talk about globe life. This is where we come to talk about lone depot. - Yeah. - This is where we come to talk about pet co. And like soft bank also. A lot of soft bank talk. Stadium sponsor employment draft. It's all right there in the name. We drafted the stadium sponsors, the MLB stadium sponsors of which there are 25, I think 23 or 25, based solely on whether or not we would want to work at those companies and what we would want to do there. This is an important detail that we haven't tried it about on any of the previous episode, teases that we've done for this. If you drafted one of these sponsors, you gotta say what you wanna do there. There's a couple other wrinkles we're about to explain it all, but before we do, I am Bobby Wagner. - I am Alex Faisley. And you are listening to a tipping pitches episode that was banked six weeks in advance and makes me very nervous. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - All right, we're here. We're in the blank check studios for some reason. I didn't want to record this podcast in my own home 'cause my dog would have become a prominent part of it, but we are here in the blank check studios. We are joined by repeat guests. I think you might be the most frequent guest of this podcast, Michael Bowman. - I'm definitely the first person you knew after you started doing this. - What does it even mean? - I don't know. You're talking about major media figures before we started recording. - You were our first major media figure. - Yeah, that's right. - You were a major media figure. - I actually don't think that's true. (laughing) - And the first meetup comes on. - Yeah, we had meetup comes on the podcast of 2017. That was back when she still wrote the podcast. - She is much more major now than she was. - Correct, that's true. - Yeah, that's true. - You are the most major media figure in our heart 'cause I'm not that hot. - Okay, I'm so sorry. - I'm trying to butter him up because I feel like Bowman always gets mad at me for just being like a shit lord. But I don't know how I got that reputation 'cause I was like, what, 'cause you're a producer? - Yeah, anybody in a producer editorial role in my career ever, I'm just like seven years younger than you. - Yeah, no, I really think that's it. Like you give off just extreme irritating little brother energy. (laughing) - That's how it's done. And Alex is the older brother in this situation and that's why that dynamic works. We're also joined by returning champion three time guests of the podcast, Matthew Robertson, whole thing. - Champion, I'll take that. - We all want to meet a medium-media figure. - Yeah, Mike got a real glowing review of his work. - I was getting ready for it. - I was getting ready to give you the glowing review of your work, which is that I do think that you appeared on the most beloved episode of Tipping Pitch has ever recorded. - Wow, that's huge. - How's that? How's that for butter? - I feel really good. It's a little concerning that we were very, very drunk for that. - I don't know, I think we did. - Did you really listen back to that? - Several times, yeah, it's hilarious. I listened to the Patreon episode too. I paid money to listen to episode that I wanted. - I don't know why you did that. - I would have just given you a gift link. It was more like I was on the go. I was like, I want to listen to this right now. Texting Bobby will take Florida. - Like put in my payment information here. - No, that's not true. I'm a quick texture. Texting Alex will take four days. - That's right. - Me, okay. - It's great to be here. It's great to have you. Alex, how are you feeling about this idea? Are you feeling good about this? - Terrible. I don't know why we're here. - I gotta be honest, I'm nervous. - I'm nervous too. I mean, drafting anything, you very much get put on the spot, I think. What's your first pick? But we're continuing our tour of just rating and ranking pretty much every corporation that's ever touched Major League Baseball. - Yeah, I thought that might be a good place to start because this is like the project now. How do you feel about that? The project with this podcast is no longer about baseball. It's about just businesses that have nothing to do with this sport. I prefer it, frankly. More than having to do actual baseball analysis like our friends at a fan graphs over there. - Yeah, they can roll out new features that I have fun playing around with in my spare time, new dashboards and everything like that. And then I get to go to the last door and see what the fuck is up there too. - Did you say that as we speak right now, the last thing that I wrote that is published on the site is a story about whether or not it's okay to have an affair with your sister in law. - Oh, what was the very, I would love to know. (laughing) - And does it depend on which side's sister in law? - By the way, I know which side it was, oh not reveal it on this podcast. - So that was a simple question. - I've had that discussion with probably a dozen different people, past 24 hours. - About which side is worse. - Yeah, and I'm really glad that nobody is answered with. - Well, it depends on how hot she is. (laughing) - Brother. - You're just not running in enough barstool circles that you apparently not. - No, you haven't made enough inroads in that community. - That joke is so employed, I feel comfortable releasing it on this podcast instead of in DMs with somebody. - Save it for the, yeah, that's a paper trail. Not like this podcast that nobody listens to. - Yeah. - You should really save your off-color stuff, which I know that you'd love to roll out for the Patreon episode. - I was, I don't know. I left the last state of labor and baseball frustrated by how much of the goals I left behind the paywall. That was like the-- - I have to say, a glowing review of your pepper take from my mom when I saw her last. She was like, I was checking that out. He was really funny about that. I think it was like something about the phrasing of like, King's something of shit mountain or something like that. She really liked that. - That's not me, that was Daniel Laverie. - Right, but you stole it. - Yeah, yeah. - You re-entered-- - I stole it from a better writer. - You interpolated it. - Yeah, I was gonna say interpolation. - Okay, yeah. - That's great. - Nicely done. - Oh my god, come on. The setup is really weird. I've never recorded a podcast sitting at different desks. I guess I should explain the idea, even though it's in the title of this podcast and presumably Alex and I will have put some intro on the podcast ahead of it, explaining why we're doing it. We are here to-- How do I say this? We're here to draft the stadium naming rights sponsors, but based only on the criteria of which company we would most like to work for, or least hate to work for, I guess, in the case of a lot of these companies, they don't seem great, just as a point of contention up here at the top. I have a number of rules here that I would like to run through, unless that idea needs more explanation. - Does it, is that clear enough? Everybody? - I think I'm clear. - I think, I think, I think, I think it's worth noting that we have not defined would like to work that, right? This is a personal decision if you wanna make a million dollars. - Just like your personal decision. - Exactly. - 2020. - I'm actually more like 2021, they weren't ready yet. - Was that a J6 joke? - No, it wasn't a vaccine joke. - Oh, yeah. - Telling that you thought of it as a J6 joke, frankly. I don't know, that's a weird-- - That's a sus, little sus. - Yeah, I didn't know you were there. We could have hung out. (laughing) - No, there's no definition for-- I think that's what makes it fun, right? - Yeah, exactly. - If I was like, you have to go based on these criteria. Like Matthew went a little nuts. (laughing) - But you also said you did no research. I'm so curious about what that actually did. - I did most of this on an airplane and did like stream of consciousness. Like, oh, that could be okay. I didn't look into any of the horrors that these companies are doing, which I assume you boys did. So if I pick a company and you're like, wait, hold on, the CEO invented a new sex crime that I don't know about, please flag that. - No, I'm not gonna flag that. - I know, keep taking yourself the deeper hole 'cause that's better for content. - All right, whatever. - The people who remember me for the last time, I think know what I'm about. (laughing) We know where I stand. - That's novel sex crimes. (laughing) That's what I'm about. - Particularly by CEOs. - No, it's clear, the ones who are doing new sex crimes I don't wanna work for them. - I feel like you against innovation all of a sudden? - Move fast, break stuff. - No, I feel like you did a really good job of using the podcast where we got "Beligerately Drunk to Outline Your Morals." That was fun. - I thought so. - I thought people really supported your multiple moralistic stances. Rules, the draft will be conducted in snake fashion. It just feels like the best way to create content. I don't know. - I briefly thought about trying to throw in like an auction element to this at the last moment when that felt like a bridge to the party rules. - Yeah. - This is Roto, we actually have a point to spreadsheet over here. - Yeah. - It's a key per league too. So you actually gonna have to work for these companies for at least three years. So each of us will end up with five companies. I think three rounds on the main feed here, and then if you wanna hear the rest of it, it'll be on Patreon, two arcs rounds. The draft order is going to be determined by whatever participant guess is closest on an Alex Rodriguez baseball trivia fact. I'm gonna share the question, so I'm taking myself out of the running to be able to set the draft order. Only current MLB stadium naming rights sponsors are eligible. I have listed them all here for everybody. If you are following along at home, there's a good page on MLB.com that lists all of these. If you just look up the teams in their stadiums, but also maybe just be surprised. In order to successfully draft a sponsor, you have to be able to also share what job you would apply for and why, what kind of job you'd like to have at the company. You don't have to actually have like an open role. I don't know if all these companies are hiring right now. Economy's not in the great spot. Each of us, here's the wrinkle. Each of us also has one poison pill draft pick in which we can draft a company on behalf of another player. Here's an example of how that would work. Let's just say, Occidental Petroleum was on the table. They are not because they're not a stadium naming rights sponsor, but because we love that company so much, we've done so much scholarship about them. If it was my turn, I would say, I'm drafting Occidental Petroleum on behalf of Alex. Alex then has the right to challenge that to reverse the draft selection. The challenge system here is based on, I hate the challenge system actually. Maybe we shouldn't call it that. You have to tap your head. That's actually kind of funny, so there's no visual element of this podcast, but you should still tap your head. The challenge will be based on a random baseball trivia question that one of the other two contestants, participants, drafts will pose to us. So in this case, if I drafted Occidental Petroleum for Alex, Bowman could say, "Okay, whoever guesses closest to the career saves for Billy Wagner." That's the example that I've been using. And whoever gets closest gets to win that challenge. And if I get closer, Alex gets Occidental Petroleum. And if I don't, it's a dangerous game because that means that I'm stuck with Occidental Petroleum. So that's used your poison pill judiciously, I guess. I don't know. Did you think about strategy at all for this? - No. - I did think of a trivia question. - Okay, perfect. - Did you write it down? Bowman is going full analog, by the way, here. I feel like this is the right time to share for people what the vibe here is. Bowman printed out my outline, which is dope. He's got a little stenopad over there too. His phone is sitting on the table, but I don't expect him to use it very much. And he has a Wawa half-diet iced tea, half lemonade, is that right? - That's Chrome, is my glasses prescribed? I'm looking okay. The beverage of champions. - That's a vibe. I'm drinking Duncan coffee. - I got nothing. - I know, I'm liquid free over here. - Do you wanna go juice up? - No, take a pause. - You're gonna start with the draft. - Yeah, we're rolling. - Come back a different day. I went through the whole, like, trouble of booking the studio. Everyone should clear on the rules. Good? - Yes. - Any final objections before we get into it? - I object. - To the union of these three. - Just keep digging. - Keep going. - No, keep going. - It was like a two out of 10 and getting worse. So. - Sorry, you recognized that you had that form and you started the rep over. - Exactly. - So we get to it. - No, let's do this draft. - Come on, let me sit in this. - I know I said that NJ Transit runs 24 hours. (laughing) I do need to get all the way back across New Jersey before it gets too late. - Bowman traveled the entire length of the Thedon, Jersey to get here. And I just wanna commend him for that. - You know how much I love you, Bobby? - That much. - I came to New York City for you. - I came to one burrow over from the burrow that the train connects directly to for you. You know how long has been since I've been to Brooklyn? - I don't know. - It's been like seven years since I've been to Brooklyn. - Well, this is a fucking perfect occasion for it. I don't know what to tell you. You had the free will to say no to this idea. - Yeah. - And I'm glad that you didn't. - Okay, here we go. Whoever gets closest on this trivia fact gets to set the draft order. How many times was Alex Rodriguez caught stealing in his major league baseball career? - No brother. Do you wanna take right our answer down here? - I do want you to write down. - How do we reveal this? Okay. - Well, you don't have to actually write it down. That's fine. - I would if I had, I got a lot of stuff over here. Well, I got a baseball card. - Who's the card? - Peter Alonzo. - Oh, sad. - David is a meds fan. - What's he doing with the Peter Alonzo card on his desk then? - Sad. - Sad. - It's also a train. - Stop playing with shit and think of your answer. - Jesus Christ. - I'll older you. - Okay, you have five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one. Final answer, Alex. I don't know why I started with him. I knew he wasn't gonna be fucking ready. - Yeah, what do you do? What do you do? - 65. - 65. - Salman. - 89. - Okay, this changes, man. I'll go even 100. - Even 100. The answer. 76. That makes you the closest. But it was fucking close. - Wow. - It was close. - Set the order. - I set the draft order. - Yeah, you set the order. - All right. Oh my god, this is a lot of pressure right now. - I'm so happy that you won. - What do you want? - What do you want? - I'm not going to be a pro at all. - Provericance. - He's not built for this. - All right. - The first time provericates has ever been used. - I'm not a pro at all. - I used to write it. - I know what that is. - It sounded right to me. Matthew, you're going to kick us off. - Wow. - Yep. - The league done fucked up. (laughing) - You know what that means. (laughing) - You let me draft one one and a very top heavy draft. - Bobby's going to go second. - Oh yeah. - Mike's comes in third. I'll round this out. The number four slot. - Okay. - We're good with it. - I'm having a good time. - I'm having a good time with this. - I kind of wanted to talk. - I like to draft mode. - I like draft mode. The GM doesn't have to be applied podcasting on draft night. This is kind of hard. - No, but this probably should be. - Okay. Matthew, Bobby, Mike, Alex. Okay. The first selection in the inaugural and maybe the only time we'll see how it's going. It's like a lot of this goes. Stadium sponsor naming rights draft. The floor is yours, my friend. - Thank you so much. This was a very easy decision for me. As I said off, Mike, I was doing research for this on an airplane, which consisted of writing down the names of stadiums I could think of off the top of my head. And then being like, "I know some of those companies." So number one for me, my first choice, the obvious choice for me. Your boy's gonna work at Petco. He's gonna be a sales associate at a suburban location. So I'm working the floor specifically Reptiles, bro. (laughing) I'm in the Reptiles section at Petco. That's my job. I think I'd be very good at it. You'll notice I said suburban location. I want quaints. I want children coming in with their parents, trying to buy like a gecko. - Right. - And who do they find me? - Not like those inner city pet codes. - Not what I said. You said that. I don't want it to be busy. That's why I specifically chose the suburbs. For other picks that may be come up later, I did choose specific locations. The pet code is so far and wide reaching that I did not specify where I'll be working, but I think I would be a great friendly neighborhood associate at Petco. - I think that is the best job. That's a good thing. - Just purely as companies. - Yeah, so this is the Adley Rotchman in this draft. - Yeah, my board came together very quickly. And I realized that I had a calling and it was Petco. - It's Petco associate. - Great logo at Petco too, by the way. The interlocking dog in cat ears. - Yeah, they have. - They did it recently, didn't they? - I don't tell me that. Did they separate them? - No, I think I could be right. I think they modernized it, softened the edges. - That is gonna change things for me. (laughing) So I wanna wear that logo proudly. - Yeah. - Which colors don't run? (laughing) - So you're not, so they're based in San Diego, I assume, right? That's their headquarters. I like actually don't know we did a whole thing where we talked about before the podcast like how we were gonna introduce each Power straight through it was like I'm working with the reptile. I think people have heard of pet code Yeah, if not it's a place where you can go to buy pet food small I would say handheld animals. They don't sell dogs and cats at pet code. No, do they not? No, you can't buy a dog at pet code No, is that true? It's true. Are you sure about that? Are you sure you still want to draft one one? I feel like yeah, I feel like the pet code Union Square you can buy a dog from there Really insane that they just have like dozens of dogs rolling around there Jamie Google This is a sort of Jamie look at a Union Square pet co if so we could get a dog tonight Deliver it I feel like you have to go to like the humane Susat you can't buy a dog at the pet store You should go to like pound are you on drugs not right now? I've been to a lot of pet codes in my day they have like dog grooming and the place where the dogs can run around Yeah, that's true. I don't I don't think you can if you can buy a dog there. It's even better Then I'll be around dogs for what it's worth. I'm not see under the dog section on pet code.com sure Pet code by the way is the is the sponsor of the San Diego Padres stadium for anyone who doesn't know just Beautiful stadium unless you do the intros. Yeah, no, you're on pet code.com and you're buying a dog right now and I use the company guard No, I can't it's only dog food treats supplies helping all this on online This is what I thought I thought it was dog supplies only and handheld pets I'm sticking with that term Some reptiles are too big to be handheld. I think this is a fucking awesome pick and I'm really proud of you I guess I was very obvious for me first one that came to mind somewhere high above the plain states Okay It's my turn. I Would like to Select Course brewing company. I'd like to be a beer taster at course brewing company. We all knew it's my job Course field the Colorado Rockies play there everybody knows that course brewing companies in American brewery brewery and beer company based in Golden Colorado Why did we like golden Colorado have that name? That's such a great name for a city We just gave it to a fucking town in Colorado Founded a gold ration Colorado Yeah, you would know you're the history. I was there in this time. Yeah Also the gold cans for a cool is heavy. Those are cool. Yeah true course not even one of my favorite beers But weirdly the only beer sponsor on this whole list. That's no, no, that's not true. There's one other It's not even the best beer sponsor on this list Idiot. Oh Well real Sam Buley choice here No, I don't agree because I'm not really a Budweiser person We're now we're getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah, I'm not revealing anything St. Louis. I'll tell you that much founded in 1873 by Adolf course That was before the other Adolf and Jacob Schuller It is a subsidiary of Moulsen Corps the first course brewery in Golden is the largest single-site brewery operating in the world A few months ago. I went to the Guinness storehouse in Dublin and it was honestly a revolutionary experience for me It was awesome and I thought should I just change my whole life? Yeah, and just get into brewing beer see But you're just a fucking every fucking 28 year old like guy has ever Your experience would be much different at course though then I was gonna say Guinness in Dublin. That's very It could be a step on the ladder. No, that's sure. Oh, you're working your way up. I'm a careerist Okay, I don't think I think about that. I'm working at petco for the rest of my life I've lived in in I've lived in two small Midwestern cities where there's nothing to do but college sports and binge drinking and Like the brewery life looks pretty appealing. Yeah, I think so too I'm not mad at who is light. I like who is light. I like course like to course. That's fun I yeah Bud Light I can't do anymore Alex and I had a back experience with it in college like a really really bad Speak for yourself. Your experience possibly be with Bud Light. I don't know Drink 22 and see like us My course choice by the way was canned designer. That's what I had written down for course. Oh, that's pretty good interesting I like that you told me you think you can do better than the than the mountains that I think I'm gonna build off that They have a great foundation and I do I play around with it kind of like the Utah jazz jerseys how they're constantly sort of playing within the form That's what I'd be doing it. Maybe like one of those holographic can't you know you like Move the can and image changes with the light is that what it does already already holographic? Or no, I know it changed with the temperature, but I thought it was also a holographic. Yeah, how do cans work? You know about canning technology. Don't you that seems like something you'd know about honestly now that came after me. Okay You're not that much older Okay, beer taste are at course Mike you're up wait. Can I what does that job actually mean? No It's like literally you have to get certified and making sure that it tastes like it was Brute correctly at the right temperature. It doesn't taste too bitter. It doesn't taste too like like I got it That's just like quality assurance. I'm not sitting around crack It tastes pretty good quality assurance. I don't know. It's actually called You guys know what I don't need these to be real jobs. I just want to know what you're envisioning At each of these jobs. Don't don't be the rules got it. I'm not I just I wanted you to paint a picture for you That's the beauty of this job. I'm glad you said it doesn't have to be a real job Because I'm going to take progressive insurance off the board Well, the rest of insurance Stadium sponsor of the Cleveland Guardians there where I buy my car and runners insurance from Mm-hmm. They they're cheaper than Geico. I have nothing but good things to say about them I'm going to be their vice president in charge of marketing and advertising And what I'm going to do is freshen up the ad campaign that they've been leaning on for the past 20 years I'm going to take Flow is fine. We can retire flow comfortably. I'm going to take Jamie and ring his fucking little scrawny ginger neck And then I'm going to let go and let him regain consciousness and take him out behind the progressive Presegative insurance headquarters building in Mayfield, Ohio and beat him to death with the blunt end of an axe So you drafted murder To be clear, I don't think you have to work for progressive to do that. That's your main goal Yeah, but I can't get paid to do that So it's coming the VP of marketing is just your in to me Jamie and then you lull him into a false sense of confidence before you kill him Yes, I'll show it Oh, wait Why do you? Why do you hate Jamie so much if you see those commercials? Not much more familiar with flow Is he like the the skinny scrawny one? Yeah, the one you'd be to death with the back end of an axe. Yeah All right, I think when your commercial universe has like side characters who then go on to headline their own character their own commercials Like you know when they get spin-offs That's too much you got to do something about it. Mm-hmm. And if you don't nip it in the bud You get the ass my shoes of nip it in the bud My progressive choice would have been flows handler That's what I have to do Driver bodyguard stalking her green room. What do you guys think is on flows rider? Flows Uh, okay Alex here you are you are actually up now. I am actually up now um fourth overall pick in the draft I Going to Minnesota and working for The target corporation god damn it sponsor of the Minnesota twins fault mark I was really thought that I was gonna be able to punch this one of the second Yeah, yeah, no pick six was gonna be I was gonna use my poison pill pick to give target to Alex Scooped yeah, I gotta give me a second. I got rewrite my entire board now um Headquartered in Minneapolis Uh, they I'm just reading a literally reading from your Summary right here target to reading from wick it up. It operates retail stores Just as I still do that Eighth largest retailer in the United States um that's pretty good. Yeah, first of all you get to go and live in the Communist home in the United States in Minnesota Um, and I think I would like to be the the person who decides which Ancient band shirts they put out in the t-shirt section ancient isn't interesting I don't want to know why Canning technology it's because the band shirts that they have it target are the bands that I'd listen to in ice I'm just I've always been so curious how they land on those is it just like rock music and then sorted by All-time popularity because it's like beetles rolling stones that it's like whichever band has sold their IP rights or Is dead. I thought at least one right hot chili peppers t-shirt target. That seems low That's bleak. I've got a lot of t-shirts a target. I love targets close. It's great. I'm not afraid. Yeah Massimo head No, no, I like um the newer one good fellow. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah That's more my style. All right. Massimo. I was like that was middle school's. Yeah. I was in the Massimo zone When I was when I was uh the most school in seventh grade, yes, or laying out the foot on your bed before the first day. It's a little Massimo head to toe. When I was traveling in London, I was in an Uber. I'm away to the airport. Our international travel. Yeah, that's right. We were talking with our Uber driver. And he was like, yeah, we just got a whole food for the first time. Like, it's crazy. I'm not super expensive. Do the accent. Don't do it. His accent was crazy. I couldn't even do it. But he was like, my daughter is like obsessed with this like store that like we don't have here. She lives in the States. But it's called Target. I don't know if you guys have heard it. It's mento fat. British people love Target. I don't know why. I don't get it. I mean, maybe it's because it's wonderful. I think they don't have super centers. You know, they don't have Meyer. Yeah. Meyer screen. I hear you know, they have TK max over there. Yeah. I do. And that's what I don't have. No, that's a hat to the journalist. It looks unfinished. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Forced journalist sitting around. You guys making a joke that only journalists will get. That sounded like laugh. That's not going to be reciprocated by the list. But that's it. If we just keep laughing a little longer, it'll sound like they're laughing along with us in the bar. Well, I hear myself in my headphones. It already sounds like someone's laughing along. I'm really proud of you for sticking with it. Do my best. Strong pick, by the way. Target was high on my board. Definitely the company I'm most familiar with. I was going to make you the face of the TV ad campaign that tells all the liberal white women who've been boycotting Target. We've gone woke again. Please come back. Right. Or I would be the dog. I would play that role. Paint the little target on my eye. I would just you like talking into the camera in a conservative sensible suit with the target. I feel like they phased the dog out. I haven't seen the dog in a while. Yeah, it's been a minute. Yeah, they did kind of move away from it. I mean, I got bad news. Dogs probably dead. Yeah, probably. Well, I know where we can get a new one. No, you can't. You can't. That's that's up for debate. Not a mind. I'll get you a salamander. Good pick. I really would have liked to make that pick. I'm sorry. When I was a target this weekend, I have literally turned to Phoebe. I said, I was even. Did you say what your job would be a target? It's the guy who picks the teacher. Oh, right, right, right. Sorry. I forgot that part. My bad. I turned to Phoebe and I said, what if I just gave it all up and just worked the target? Like I think about this. Like retail. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember that Kady. I'll be happier with the, which like a kid in like the Ellen era who went viral for just like being a hot. Oh, yeah, that's right. He was just like a blonde kid. Yeah. He was just good at his job. I guess. Okay. Give another pick. Oh, shit. It comes back to me. That's right. All right. We're in to round two. He's furiously scrolling. I think I'm going to a hedge here a little bit and do the other end of the spectrum and pick Sutter Health. Sutter Health Park is the current and temporary home of athletics. Athletics. Aff based in Sacramento, California. There are not for profit. Integrated health delivery system. They make no money. Operating 25 acute care hospitals and 200 clinics in northern and central California. As far as healthcare companies go. And I suppose ones that say they're not for profit are a hair above the ones who are actively sucking up profits. I guess the margins there are probably pretty thin. But I think I just want to, I just want to do like outreach there. You know, I want to be the guy who goes around and from community to community and says, we got we got healthcare right down the street. You know, you need you need healthy. Is that arm broken over there? We can fix it. Yes, we can. I don't know if you know, but there's this building down the street. Alex Walker on Sacramento going see some planet. Sutter Health see some planet. I'm really glad we specified it didn't have to be a real job because I don't know what the fuck you. This is the fakest job we've had this far. I feel like I feel like healthcare companies have, well, maybe. Door to door knife sales. Your example is hey is that arm broken. I think they would say yes, get away from me. You broke palmen. You broke it. We're going to reset it. I think I think likely what this means is just going to like fairs and sitting behind a booth. I love people. Right. I'm the I'm the Sutter Health Street team. We have Cool Swag. We have those like live strong bracelets. This is a fascinating choice. I gotta be honest. Sutter is pretty low on my board. Someone doesn't hear about healthcare. I'm happy for you. Yeah. I know it doesn't sound like a real company. Exactly. Conversationally, I want to be like good pick. Let's move on, but I just can't say good pick. I just can't just so pick Mike now. It's your turn. All right, I need to come down and do a deadpan delivery first. All right. So I'm going to pick Tropicana. The sponsor of the Tampa Bay raised beautiful modernist edifice. Yes. Tropicana field and the job of beautiful or modernist at the moment. Yeah. On its way back. Yeah. We'll get we'll get there. And the job I'm going to pick is Assistant Deputy Director of the Central Intelligence Agency for Operations, parentheses, Central and South America. Okay. All those coups we did for oranges. I want it. We're bringing them back. We're doing slavery in Cuba for my elemments. You were not kidding about front loading front loading your content on this one. So like let me ask you from a practical perspective. We're going to be down there in in port of Spain, Trinidad and the Panama hat and the sensible linen shirt. I'm drinking at the hotel bar. Dude, I was sensible. I was sensible. linen pants to Palo Gettys wedding in El Salvador. And you commented on my Instagram post that I looked like a drug dealer. So let me ask you this from a practical perspective. Like your your i9 or your w2 or whatever. Like who doesn't say page you? Tropicana? Like that's what you're doing. But you're working with the I. It's Uncle Sam. But we know who's payroll. Sam's actually. Okay. I understand. So you're you're actually working for Tropicana. That's what you're saying. Not official. Oh, it's nice. Nice to be done. Not what I had. So what did you want to do? Taste orange juice. I put flavor creator. So I think of how many flavors you could create once we've returned democracy to the people of Panama. That's true. That's much more noble. I was envisioning like a big room with just like magnets and I put them together. I'm like guava pineapple. Shippet. I want to get America more into guava. I feel like it's underutilized. I totally agree. No, I just a big one for me. Guava. Really? Yeah. What don't you like about it? It's just too weird. No, it's just got this odd like your Midwest disposition says no. That's supposed to be the guava. It's too exasperated. I'm not Midwestern. I know. What is the guava from the same place? Guava is too spicy. I like guava. Where do you stand on the decline in frozen fruit juice concentrate? It's going extinct. Is that true? I know that. You could have you could play a role in it. Okay. Once we have the surplus from resilient citrus after the elections. Notably. The CIA is really good at sustainability and keeping things going for a really long time. You're going to bring it back. I wasn't aware of this. I'm here about this for the first time. We're losing out on fruit juice. Yeah. To frozen juice concentrate. Do you think we're all going to be around by the time it's gone? No, they're like taking it off the shelves right now. I tried to buy it over Christmas. I had to go to the shop right and the acame to find frozen fruit juice concentrate. One of the more South Jersey sentences that were played very, very popular. I was looking for lemonade and orange juice. Not like the classic. Yeah. Just like the absolute basic white bread fruit juice. It's not, you know, the glorious future that you're going to bring us. I'm excited. I'm not anymore. I guess it's all the money's going to you. Yeah. I just needed a little on the side to create new flavors. We'll talk about it off air. We can get you a slide on the air. America. Thank you so much. You know, we used to be a proper country. Two MLB stadium sponsored by juice company. That's true. No more. And the rules clearly state. Only companies that are active. I can tell Alex is there about it. Minute made berry punch. So good. I was never advertising. I was never a big minute made guy. I wasn't a juice box kid. Were you a juice box kid? No, I was a pre-sun kid. Oh, that's the juice box. Right. No, that's a juice pouch. Yeah. It's a pouch. It's different. So different. I'm a pre-sun. I can't even say that on this fucking podcast. Listen, guys, we're not in, we're not here to get into semantics. Okay. The farther we go, the less sense we're going to make. Wow. I've got privilege up rings with your juice boxes and presets. We had Country Time Powdered Lemonade. Yeah, I have that too. Yeah. I came in the little like a. Oh, not little. solendrix to the big, yeah, the big, cylindrical. Not little of that, yeah. Yeah, it's like brown, right? I can picture it, the container. My dad was still drinking that as recently as like two or three years ago. I don't know if it was still Country Time, but he was still making like powdered iced tea and putting it into the fridge and drinking like 24 ounces an hour or so. I guess. I was like, "Dad, you gotta put this away." I guess that makes it my pick. Because it's a pretty big drop off from here. Okay. For my second pick, I'll be selecting T-Mobile, which is the sponsor of the Seattle Mariners. T-Mobile US Incorporated is an American wireless network operator. Headquartered in Bellevue, Washington, its majority shareholder and namesake is the German telecom company, Deutsche Telecom. Alex, you want to try that in a German accent? No, you nailed it though. No, I think you could do it. Your accent work needs to expand. I don't think it does. You don't think it does, actually. The air impersonations of the former British NYU president. T-Mobile is the second largest wireless carrier in the United States with 140 million subscribers as of September 30th, 2025. Here's what I'm going to do at T-Mobile. I don't know what the title of this role would be and I don't really care. I'm going to be the person who puts 5G towers in places that actually make 5G work. Because, and don't make this into a COVID thing, I can see it. Stretch it across your face. Don't try to do it, Bound. I was thinking about how T-Mobile and Deutsche Telecom were major cycling sponsors in the turnovers. Oh, interesting. Of course you don't already think it. You got that. Everybody subscribed to Wheelie Sports. Can someone fucking explain to me why we have a technology in 5G where it says 5G on your phone, but it doesn't actually work unless it also says like two other letters. What the fuck is that? I'm going to be the person that T-Mobile fixed that. Anyone know what LTE is? No. Never known. Why does 5G not work, but 5G UC does, but only sometime and then it goes away, but it stops us. How come you park on the driveway, but you drive on the parkway? Did you get any airplane food on the airplane when you came up with all your time? No, I didn't. I slapped and I watched Aaron Brockovich. Good airman movie. I'm really upset about the 5G thing, not for the reason that most people on podcasts. I'm upset about the 5G thing. I just don't understand why it doesn't work. Just tell me that I don't have service. Stop fucking lying to me. I'm not stupid. My phone's very dramatic. I get SOS all the time. Yeah. I have T-Mobile. It works okay. Must be why you're getting SOS all the time. I like T-Mobile. I've had a pretty good experience with T-Mobile. I used to have Sprint and then they acquired Sprint. Sprint was not good. Sprint was the last cellular company that didn't pay for the proprietary technology where you could be using the internet and on a phone call at the same time. So if I was on a phone call, my phone didn't work. That's awesome. In like 2016, like I couldn't be fucking scrolling Twitter ignoring what Alex was saying to me on the phone. So I'm really looking out for me. I'm going to be the guy at T-Mobile who fixes fucking 5G. We're going to get to bottom of this. Boys and girls. That's my pick. I like the pink too. Yeah. It's a good job. Yeah. I feel like living in Seattle working at T-Mobile is a pretty good job. You probably know a lot of people. I know exactly where the headquarters are right on the side of a highway. Get the factory in mall right there. We're just. Yeah. I definitely know some people over there. That was on my list. Just like guy who hangs out with people I went to high school with. It's an alternate path for you. Not now. I don't know how you set for it. I don't know where you are. I call you over at GQ. I know. And brush shoulders with Anna Windtore at one world trade. It's been a minute. Anna's been ducking me, but that's neither here nor there. Is it my pick? It is your pick. I'm picking head of conda and ask. No, just kidding. You're right. There is a big drop off. This is might be where I get a little silly with it already in the second round. No, actually. Now's where you get in silly. Well, this is not actually the silliest I could go, but I did want to say this just to get everyone's reaction. Fuck it. I'm going to be CEO of Oracle. I'm going to get rich. If we're living in the fantasy world, I'm going to be rich as hell. It's the fake job. We all know that. You wear some suits. You go to meetings. How hard could it be? That's what you need to wear. You have to wear a suit. You have to cut off sweatshirt or whatever. I'm not doing the thin hoodie, the Sam Altman, all birds. Shit, I'm not doing that. I'll wear some nice suits at the very least. Okay. Yeah, I'm not going to work. Do I know what Oracle does? No, I don't. But I know that you can be very rich working there. Alex knows what Oracle does. I'll explain what Oracle does. I'll explain Sass. Dance monkey. I can't even find it on this sheet because I don't know what it is off the top of my head. Can you look at how much the CEO is worried about? Dude, it's not insignificant amount. They're in multinational technology company headquartered in Austin, Texas. Oh. Co-founded in Santa Clara in 1977. So this actually doesn't say anything about what Oracle is about. What website are you on? It's all summary. 200 billion is almost all that. They sell database software and cloud services. The cloud. You know. You know enterprise applications. You're all familiar with enterprise applications. Bro, we've spent a long time talking about Oracle on this podcast because it was one of the Wikipedia pages that I chose for one of our Wiki episodes. Yeah. And I still don't know what they do. Exactly. And you still don't know what they do. Yeah. I don't think they know what they do. I think you can do it surveillance. That's what I'm saying. I will write to your authority. Here's what they do. Their core application software is a suite of enterprise software products. Obviously. Yeah. We'll be doing that. Including enterprise resource planning, which we know all the other differences between ERP and enterprise software. Of course. Human capital management. That's Boundman's favorite thing to do. The CIA. Customer relationship management. All right. I actually know what to see. I got to use the CRM from time to time. My day job. Customer experience, commerce and supply chain management. All right. They just build a bunch of fucking software that people use. Fine by me. Keep doing what you doing, boys. They also sponsor a shitty boat racing team that lost the America's Cop and can't get it back. Uh-huh. Tough to hear. Is there any niche support that you don't know about? No. I interviewed a world strongest man recently. Are you up on that? I don't know about it. There's Eddie Hall. It's the only strong world strongest man. It's not Eddie Hall. What was the context? It's not out yet, but it's for real life diet column. Oh, you do your stuff. You treat everyone. What are you going to interview me for real life diet? I don't think you have the juice, brother. This podcast needs to go a little harder. Yeah. Well, we're on our way. This episode could be the thing that takes off. Okay. CEO of Oracle. That's right. Do you have another? 200 billion in the bank. Oh, yeah. And I go back to back. Oh, shit. Okay. And we're doing five picks total. Five picks total. Okay. I'm going to work for Chase, sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. And I'm going to be the guy who decides what all the points get you. That's I am the proud owner of a Chase Sapphire card. They've got some points. I've never really understood the points. I know that they can help you with travel a lot. Yeah. I want it to be a little, little more fun. I'm like one million points gets you a hotel, whatever, five million gets you a flight. I'm saying you get 10 million points. Brother, you're starting for the Diamondbacks tonight. You get to throw one inning for the Arizona Diamondbacks if you accrue 10 million Chase Sapphire points. Interesting that you would want to pitch. Yeah. Maybe dealer's choice. You could play third base. You could take a line drive to the team if you want. Whatever you want. You've earned those points. I think I want to play right field. Like if so, I can do it. I can do it. I think. I feel there's a chance you never touched the ball. I guess that's true of any position. That's our difference of approach. I don't want to make a fly. I can't believe you took chase, though, because I was going to use chase to poison fill. It's on you, me and Jamie are buds. I was going to make you Jamie diamonds personal. Alex, I'd like you to work at Globe Life. Fuck. And like you to be a first-year investment analyst. This was my go-to poison pill. I think it's far and away the worst company on this. Okay. And Lightning. Because I know nothing about them. Globe Life is an American financial services holding company listed in the New York Stock Exchange that operates through its wholly owned subsidiaries providing life insurance, a newbie and supplemental health insurance products. The company is based in McKinney, Texas. So not only do you like the only perks you get to go to Rangers games. Right. I can love life now. You work in Texas with a bunch of people who actively chose to work for a life insurance suburban Dallas. Right. Like it's the worst part of Texas by such a huge margin. Correct. Uh, selling life insurance. life insurance to Americans, life insurance and health insurance. So you're like, you're in the collateral damage zone. Like you might get domed if things really go the wrong way. And you have to limit Texas. Well, I think in the job description, it's doing insurance fraud because it seems like all they've done over the years is mostly insurance fraud, insurance fraud, and occasionally like pyramid schemes. Do you want to share more about that research? Not really. You're familiar with Fuzzy Panda, the anonymous short seller who released a report on globe life. Not even a little bit. Yeah, no, they're coming out as Fuzzy Panda right now. There's just been like DOJ investigations, multiple reports that have said they're just doing fraud left and right. And subsidiaries are illegal pyramid schemes and harassment and drug use. I don't know. The more that I talk about it, it could be a kind of fun place to work. No rules, you know, no laws over there. It does seem very no rules. Maybe actually giving you crisis PR at global. Well, you guys allow me to amend that. Fuzzy Panda said what? Okay, what's the trivia question? Anybody got a trivia question? Mike, do you want to give us a trivia question? Do you even want to challenge it? Yes. Do you want to challenge it? All right. Now I'm nervous. I don't know why. Maybe the college campus closest to the school that has won the most college world series titles. So if you can name the school, that's zero and you win. But if you guess wrong, whoever gets geographically closest to the school in question wins. I don't know why I thought anything out less than something like that. I don't know. I don't know. Can you repeat that question? Okay. Name the school that has won the most college world series titles. And if you're wrong, the wrong answer that is geographically closest to the correct answer. Okay. I have my guess. Who goes first in this? Does Alps go first? No, I have to go first. You have to go first. I have to go first. I have a challenge. I knew I'm not knowing anything about college baseball around Michael Balmo would come back to fight me eventually. For one dollar name of school. Yeah. Name a college. Wait, so am I naming the college or if you get it, then you win. But if you don't, then whoever is geographically closest. I'm going to name Vanderbilt. Fuck. Seriously? I mean, you can also say Vanderbilt, I guess. I don't think I can. Can I? I guess not. All right. I don't know. LSU. Oh, that's going to be close. Is it Tennessee? No. Is it Florida? No. Before you reveal, do you want to make your guess? My guess is our most national championships. I believe is the University of Southern California. That is correct. Fuck. I thought about it. And I thought, but I weirdly had like Cal State Fullerton in my head. Cal State Fullerton's won a bunch. Yeah. In the 2000s, they were pretty dominant. Unstoppable in that college baseball video game. But it felt like, yeah, it felt like too much of a risk to go California if it was someone in the SFC. Yeah. That would have been too far away. So LSU had LSU? Yeah. LSU is closer. LSU is 1,823 miles from the LSU Space Falls stadium. Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt is 2009 miles. Oh my god. Sounds like a win to me, baby. 150 miles. This is fucked up. This is cruel. Okay. So I get crisis PR. It's brutal. Vanderbilt, by the way, real, real young guy answer from Bob over here. Yeah. I know. Vanderbilt won their first national title in 2014. That's, I think when I started paying attention, any attention to college baseball, and like Carson Fomer was on that team. And I was like locked in for two years. And I was like, this might be the greatest baseball team ever assemble right here. I don't, I don't think it was. I mean, part of it was just like I felt like Vanderbilt was close enough to want other ones that I thought might be in the running. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I was not right, then I might as well be close. I think Florida probably would have my second choice, but I don't even know if they're close. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's USC as 12. And I don't think anybody else has more than six. I'm hearing about this for the first time. All nowhere. I was a college baseball scout once technically. What? Yeah. I got paid like $20 to file scouting reports. I was like unemployed. And I was, I just remember teamwork online. You guys ever use that? Yeah. So I found a job for like the college baseball scouting network or something. So I would go to like UW UC Riverside, much Troy Percival's son. He was all right. I don't think I gave him a very good scouting report. Oh, we're going. So we're planning like a fan graphs New York office outing to Rutgers UCLA. Rock, Trilowski, the presumptive number one pick comes in. You guys want to get sure? Yeah. Let's do it. I'll put you guys on the. Wait, so that is that Rutgers? Yeah. Rutgers. Yeah. It's not really much New York City outing. People meeting up in New York and then going down. Okay. They're like the train in doing an angry hokey. Yeah. And you're driving around the corner. Yeah. Bobby and Alex, you guys know about rock? No. Rock. That's his name. Who's the guy? Rock, Trilowski. Oh, oh, I just assumed he wasn't talking about rock, the music genre, because that would have been a really embarrassing thing for me. Like, no, you mean the genre from the target t-shirts? Yeah. Uh, no, I don't know anything about that. That's fun. That's a fun time. Why is it? Uh, second week in April. Okay. All right. Great. We'll be in touch. All right. All right. We'll circle back on this. Yeah. I'm going to bleed ball of this so that we don't get doxed. I'm not a real time assassinator. I'm out there. Imagine dying at Rutgers University. That, I mean, that is the median outcome for people I went to high school with. So Bobby, do you apply? You're trying to go to Rutgers? Did I apply to Rutgers? I did not. We used to call that butters. Wow. Wow. Sorry. Mike. Tough talk from. I didn't make up the name. All right. I didn't make up the fucking name. No, I applied to TCNJ because I had a journal as a major in what is it? That has a different name now, right? It's like, no, it's still TCNJ. Oh, I used to be Trenton State. But I thought now it was like Thomas Jefferson College or something. How did they change it? Thomas Edison. There is a Thomas Edison College. No, I'm wrong. Okay. It is just still TCNJ. Yeah. And it became that 1996. The year I was born. Wow. It's a young millennial. Makes you think. TCNJ, the young millennial. Anybody else want to name New Jersey State College? Stockton. Rowan. Rowan has also not been Rowan for that long. You used to be Glassper. You know, Alex and I did a live podcast at a college class at Rowan. A journalism class, a broadcasting class. It was kind of an anxiety inducing that we were in front of a bunch of freshmen. What is about the academic level that would get you guys. Some nice people there. Nice people at Rowan. Try out Debbie. Okay. I think this is now, makes it Mike's turn. Because that was my turn. And I got poisoned pilled by myself. Okay. I get ready to learn global life, buddy. Global life. Global life also is one of the fakes sounding companies in this list. Yeah. All right. I'm going to pick Daiken. Yeah. Fuck. So just pick up my sponsor of the Houston Astros, which is not as much fun as it made. No. And substantially less fun than Enron. Forget about that. Those guys have all the fun. They're the smartest guys. What a history in that stadium. So by my quick tally, there were three beverage companies, two retailers and 13 insurance fines. You know, people who don't make anything, people who don't add anything to society, people who, when I'm dictator of the world, they're going to be looking for work. Where does Daiken slide in on this? They make real stuff. Yeah. I think it's pretty outstanding. They make, I mean, they make like chemicals and stuff, but like they also make medical equipment. And I want to be like HVAC. Yeah. HVAC, you know, God, HVAC was one of the, like the great liberalizing one of the great free driving forces in the American population movement in the past. Because think of like all the booming cities in the south and the west, it would just be uninhabitable without air conditioning. It's dying at Rutgers was the median outcome for people you went to college with, getting into HVAC was probably the mode outcome. Now, high school, people I went to college with. The median outcome is, was it January 6th? Wow. But I would like to work for a company that actually makes up, makes a physical tangible machine. And specifically they make re-breathers and respirators. And I think that the way I snore, I could be useful in the testing and development of those products. Oh, wow. And they're based in Japan, right? We could go over there, maybe. Yeah, you know, a little travel out of it. So, so can I just say like R&D at Daiken? Yeah. Okay, great. It's like the maybe the realest sounding. I wanted to be grounded for my job at Daiken would have been HVAC guy. I don't know exactly what I would have done for them, maybe like branding, marketing. Their marketing is pretty bad. Yeah, it's funny that they've been the Astros stadium sponsor for a while and I didn't know what they did until I started researching for this. No, you can they need someone to do it to go around and be like, are you are you feeling cold? Because we've got HVAC shit over here. Speaking of out you know out our community outreach right? Oh right. My family has experience explaining the concept of a job. He works in communications and he writes press releases. So my so my family has experience in in branding and in HVAC and my great uncle owns a company that does installs like internal home vacuum systems and their slogan for a long time was our work sucks. Clever. Wow. Clever. Topical with that shirt over there too. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, bummer we have no visual element because great t-shirts in here all around. You want to do a quick recap of them? Bit check. Yeah, Mike's got the Dave Parker. If you're here and you know, it's just me and the boys bopping. Alex is rocking a hot mulligan t-shirt. Bobby I can only see the top half of yours but I always see his work sucks and is that Felix the cat? Yes, as well as the grim reaper. The grim reaper? Okay, sick. And the grim reaper's siph has broken so it works sucks. Are they getting the buzz going? I think Felix has got a drink in his hand. Yeah, I think they got a little buzz gone. Yeah, that's fine with me. This is from noted Philadelphia designer, heavy slime. Oh, nice. Great. And then I've got the bootleg Oasis Manchester City merch. Did you just buy that on the street? No, someone sent it to me. They were like, I saw this on Instagram. I think you would like it. Oh, yeah. And I said, you are correct. That's great. Gonna say you got that at the concert then we have it in the same room before. But no, this is definitely not sanctioned by the Oasis. For pretty sure. By the way, the Caligarist state. They would love this though. I also know to be clear, I do not fuck with Manchester City as a concept. I think they're pretty evil. It would not go work for Manchester City. Me neither. We're very clarifying. Yeah. I want the brubs to know where I stand. Let's put a pin in that and come back to it after we go beyond the paywall so I can cut a promo on Pep Guardiola. Okay. Alex, it's you, dude. Alex is thinking about different ways his life can go. The light is draining from his eyes. Right. And how I can explain each of these brands, to the people who need to use them. Dude, you're playing with House Money. You dodged Christ's PR at Globac. I know. I know. You're good to go. I think I am going to go with Rodgers. Communications. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sponsors Rodgers Center with the Toronto Blue Jays play. First of all, Toronto. Toronto. Nice to get out of the States. They're like telecom and media company. Alex is like, I'm on a lot of lists. Better to work in Canada. Yeah, that's not the best. That's the January 6th incident. I gotta get out of here. Now call it six January or so. We're the, I think they're more likely to arrest you for J6 in Canada. In America, yes. Anyway, go on, Alex. I can work in this company if you want. Well, I think if I'm understanding Rodgers correctly, I think they're like one of the most hated companies in Canada. Because they have outages all the time. And they're this massive telecom conglomerate. Not like Steve Oboe who's loved here. They're right. Yeah, that's exactly. That pretty hates the cable company. But they also own a baseball team. So I feel like you can write the perks into the contract yourself. I guess I'll be the. Oh, good call. I didn't even think about that honestly. Yeah. I mean, I'll shy away from actually just assigning myself as a GM. But I would be the guy who writes the apology letters to everyone when like 911 service goes out because you have outages and stuff. I guess 911 in Canada? It's probably different. Yeah. I don't have a joke. The world may be. I thought Bauman might know the answer to that. But maybe his next trip is more than I do. What number is 911 in Canada? If only we had Steve's like, "Cowseki with us." We've really had a lot of Canadian guests on the pod. It's a lovely city. I'm a fan of Toronto. Definitely. They do have 911 in Canada. That's huge. In case you're ever up there. I go up there. I'm not afraid. I'm like, "You." I'm worried about coming back. I think Rogers is like fine. Are they like running a monopoly though, basically? Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah. No, they are. And you're okay with that. Change from the inside. Right? It's got to start somewhere. Corporate sabotage for Rogers' communication. They've also got the naming rights for the Kinex and the Oilers. So I get Kinex and Oilers tickets too. I don't know if they own the team, but they own Rodgers Arena Rodgers place. They own the Maple Leafs. Oh. Wow. You're going to be all right. Monopolis tickets. This is kind of crazy. I'm walking back my pick right here. But I don't think that's allowed. I'll stick with it. They also kind of own the media. They have SportsNet. So you can get in there. I always wanted to own the media. Frankly, I was going to be my job. I was cheating. So Staff Rider for SportsNet. This is my job for a different company. Jay Onre's friend. They own the media. For some reason, you said Staff Rider at SportsNet. And I was like, what like, scripting the games? Like what was really really writing? I mean, those NHL refs they might as well. Yeah. Whoa. Uh, okay. Good pick. Great. Shipping up the Toronto. You got to drop that second tee. That's my first note for you. Toronto. There we go. Toronto. Toronto. Gotta watch tape at Dodgeri. I'm gonna get the. Gotta go see Nirvana. The band. The show. The movie. Mm-hmm. Amazing. Cameo for the Roger Center in that movie. If anyone has not seen it. And you have the opportunity to go see it. Incredible. Incredible stadium. By the way, I was there on a loony dog night. So hot dogs were one dollar. Oh, they sold like 40,000. Not the kind of loony dog night you can't have at Pecko. Guys, I think that concludes the main feed version of this podcast. And we will continue it on Patreon. We have all completed three. Should we do a quick update for people? Let us see what our life looks like. Let's all read our own. Matthew, why don't you go first? Okay, my first pick. I'm gonna have to go back to my notes. Make sure to get the verbiad right here. First pick was sale. Actually, wait, I'll read them because I've documented what everybody actually said. Okay. We have this. The court stenographer over here. Neighborhood sales rep for reptiles at Pecko. That's pretty good. The CEO of Oracle. And Guy who decides what points get you at Chase. Which is JP Morgan Chase. I'll take that. I went second. I selected beer taster at course. Guy who fixes 5G for T-Mobile. And I tried to select crisis PR at GlobeLife for Alex. And I was unsuccessful in my attempt to poison Pillham. So that is my third job. Mike went third. He selected the vice president of marketing and ads for progressive insurance so that he could do a. A crime against the. That hate crime. Being annoying is not a protected class. Skinny necked dudes. I don't know. Is that a protected class? That's not, by the way. I checked with my lawyer. I thought you would have heard from Jamie recently, by the way. Assistant deputy director of the CIA parentheses Central and South America, which is a job at Trappokana. And R&D at Dijkhan. Doing HVAC work. No, medical respirators. Oh, okay. Medical respirators. Medical respirators. I believe you do HVAC, but. He just proximate to the HVAC. Yes, he just thinks he can get a little. Well, I want to stand by the air conditioner. I run hot. I know that's right. It's warm. You guys can probably smell it. It's warm in the studio. Alex went forth. He chose guy who picks the t-shirts at Target. Quote, I just want to do outreach. Hey, how's that arm feeling? At Sutter Health. At Sutter Health. And the guy who writes apology letters for when 911 goes out for Rogers. Those are my three jobs. Quite a career. That's where we're at right now. We have two more rounds over on Patreon available right now. Please head over to check out part two. All right, this was the stadium sponsor naming rights draft. He is Michael Bauman. He is Matthew Robertson. Anything you guys want to plug? I'll also insert this back onto the main feed episode too, so that you're not plugging for just a couple of hundred featuring that. Patreon listeners. Yeah, read my work at a Kate Cunningham profile. Come out today. Read that please. Speaking of Dallas, Texas. Arlington, even worse. Oh boy. Hopefully. Mike, get a membership of fan graphs. We've got all that gives you all the fun tools. We've got the lab that just came out today, which is I'm going to have to learn how to use it because Ben Clemens is way smarter than I am. Also subscribe to Wheelie Sports. You find the link to get it direct in your inbox on my Blue Sky page or you can subscribe on Medium. And get hot cycling content every week. Hot cycling content. Alex, you won't plug anything. Yeah. So check out tipping pitches. Anywhere you get your podcasts. And what is that? Yeah. We are people at home understand. The people do at home do understand what's about. We're corporate mergers. Why aren't you plugging your all right sub-stack now that it's sponsored by Polymarkets? I'm being serious. You know, I can tell Polymarket has a stadium. Jesus. I'm so proud that you're married. I'm under three years. Feels like a good spot to end the podcast. Thank you guys. Really appreciate it. This was fun. You're the best. Okay, thank you for listening. If you want the extra two rounds, if you want those last two rounds, you know where you gotta go. You gotta go to patreon.com/tippingpitches. You can use promo code sponsors to get 50% off. If you're not a member, you do have to sign up for the top tier top level of access the A-Ride VIP club. This is it. This does it. For our pre-recorded episode. For what? Oh, my God. You thought it was a pregnant pause. I was like, oh my, this is this is really it. There are swan song. Is there any kind of pause on a podcast that's not pregnant? He has a pregnant pause as he thinks of the answer. Right. Maybe a thoughtful. A hush falls over the collective room. That's, I'm gonna start using that one. Yeah. A hush fell over the pod. Yeah. Have we done great work here this month? Do you think people feel properly prepared for the MLB season? I sure hope so. Because that was our goal. This is our goal every year, right? We want to properly prepare people for how to engage with the upcoming Major League Baseball season. I think we did a great job. Someone's got to do it. You know, you might go to effectively wild to learn whether or not Kyle Haga Shioca has been outperforming his expected outcomes for the last four years. I fell asleep halfway through that. You know, through that sentence. Don't be mean. Those are our friends over there. I did. And you might come here for the deranged thoughts of four unwell men as they talk about whether or not they would like to do crisis PR for one of the various fake banks, non-bank entities. That's not so MLB stadiums. Next week on the pod, we're gonna have my report from my experience in Tokyo at a World Baseball Classic game. Hopefully my hope that's hard for me to say this early in advance. But that's the plan. We're going to do banned topics and then we will have a special guest to talk about the New York metropolitan and socialism. And the week after that, baseball will have started already. We're going to have to roll out the 2026 Bingo card. And I hope, I hope, something that we have planned comes to fruition with just a national baseball writer. I'll leave it at that. No other details. A national baseball writer. We'll see you then. Hello everybody. I'm Alex Rodriguez. Tipping pitches. Tipping pitches. This is the one that I love the most. Tipping pitches. So we'll see you next week. See ya!