The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya

[MUSIC] So we were just chatting a little bit before. Tricksy was mercilessly making fun of me. >> I don't know why that's so funny. >> You love it when I cry. >> She get burped. >> Oh, it's all this schmata's crap. >> What is it? >> I don't know. >> Girl, this is so weird. I lost by your house two days ago. Because I always walk by, but you're old house. >> Oh. >> I walk by your old house, they got all these workers out there. They're doing stuff. What are they doing? >> I don't know there was, there was scaffolding in ladders. And I was like, my God, they're working in K-Bugs house. And I was rubber, we're not rubber necking. >> We're looking. >> Yeah, I was craning my neck, trying to see. And I said, oh, my God. And every time we walk by it, I retell how beautiful it is. And how much I wish she still lived there. And I'm sorry to bring it up. >> Anyway, your old house, they're making it look even better. Too bad you don't live there, bitch. >> [LAUGH] >> So whenever I'm in that area, which is never, I just, I go by there. I creep, it's a very, you have to drive slow in that street, by the way. It's very dangerous. So I go up up, I go about three miles an hour, and then I just, I go in, I go in, I go in. And I looked in and what they had done, these two, I know for my neighbors, my old neighbor, he told me about the people that they're in there, like suspiciously nice, lovely people. >> Right, people across the street, no. Didn't, it wasn't their guy who invited you over and his basement was full of shit with some girl in the bed. >> Baby, mama, not me remembering a story. [LAUGH] >> Not me remembering a story. >> Not the memory, not the memory. >> That's what traumatic it has to be for my brain to hold on to it. >> No, that was, that was, that was, that was, >> Wasn't that somewhere else? >> That was across the street. >> That's what I'm talking about. >> But so across the, next door, next door was a different story. But my neighbor Scott, who is lovely, his housemate, mama, you go into that house, it is so contigo. >> Right, huge tall ceilings, Christmas party, tree up to the fucking, that rafters. >> All year, yeah. >> Oh girl, speaking of somebody, so my house in Hollywood, somebody right next door, threw away their Christmas tree two days ago. I said, end of February, trash, trash. I was like, you know why you're haggers? >> You took it out and put it back in their house. >> It was like, end of February. Bitch, might as well put it in the freezer and pull it out in November. Like what the fuck? February? Once you had a red weekend. Valentine's Day came and gone. And you had the tree the whole time. >> The whole time? >> The whole time. >> I don't know what it is. To me, these, because I grew up poor. But we knew that if it's one thing you could control, it's taking down the decorations when you're supposed to. >> The one thing you could control. >> Right. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel bad, I feel bad. But I looked in the house, mama, and the interior was a little, just, so strange. >> Right. >> First of all, they took my, I had to take my blinds out and got these, this is so boring to the listeners. So I'm going to go really to talk about it. >> Everybody has a house. Everybody has blinds. >> That's not true. >> Everyone lives somewhere that has blinds and has neighbors. >> I don't love blinds. I like window treatments, curtains, whatever, all that. >> Right. >> But this house is weird, as you know. And the all, no, nothing in the windows, just square, open, just nothing. And I got these gorgeous, like, they made me take them down, they were so expensive. And I looked in, there were posters on the walls, posters. >> Straight people. >> Yeah. >> They were older, straight people. >> You know, my house, the patio, on the second level. >> You'll time it, posters. >> Oh, God. The-- >> Side of the car, fuck. >> We're currently doing, you're, you're fearful for not relatability. I'm like, so this is the gardening we're doing on the second patio. >> I don't care. >> If the people-- >> Is this the primary residence, or the, the, the, the Hempton's house. >> And my, and the thing is, these are the primary shareholders of Tricks and Mattel LLC. >> Yeah. >> That's what happened to the money that I got from them watching this. >> Thank you. >> So, thank you. >> My patio, I never use. That took me so much money to fix the water damage, to retire. I don't use it because the apartment building, or the renters across the, the, they go. >> Straight guys, no window treatments. The computer, the double monitor set up, where I think it's probably, what are the straight guys playing FIFA? >> FIFA. >> They're playing FIFA. >> The World Cup? >> Yeah. >> World Cup. >> Video games. >> FIFA. FIFA forever. >> FIFA. >> FIFA forever. >> Sometimes he's out there gaming, or whatever. >> Mama. >> And I love video games. >> Yeah, you do. >> But the straight guy games. No. So, I'll be out there in drag after DJ gig, a little half in the bag, smoking weed, with my sequin lady, money, outfit on. >> Do you have your, do you have your breastplate, clearly visible and wet? >> No, I have them on the floor, and then I have my bare feet, and I'm, give them a foot job with my feet, and everybody wins. But basically, I've had to get a fake box wood, because I, I never go out there, because that guy can just see me. >> I know. >> You have to, when you have neighbors, be creative. >> Oh, are you kidding me? You've got to be creative when you have neighbors. It's the story of my whole fucking life right now, and I hate you. >> Do you hear people or no? >> Do I hear people? >> That. >> Do I feel people? >> But I think sometimes if you have no neighbors, you're still hearing people, you know what I'm saying? >> No. >> That is absolutely, that is an astute, accurate observation, however? >> No, no, no, on this pod. Roll the tapes. You've told me you've been home alone, and you've heard people in the house. >> Wait, which house are we talking about? >> Your old house. >> Oh, that's because, you know. That's what I'm saying. >> However, however, however, however, however, so that house is not like in the woods by itself. Do you know what I mean? I had a, across the street, I had a crazy neighbor. >> Okay. >> I mean, I wish you could have met. >> Baby, if they're, if they're the crazy neighbor, in the scenario, if you're the crazy, if you're in the normal neighbor. >> If I can't delete the rice, they are like, I don't know why I just said that. >> And by the way, you know she's a crazy neighbor. I had her as a neighbor. >> Well, she wears those boots. She's just playing the piano. And it puts something else on, honey. She ties her hair up. She has her hair up in rollers, and just rain boots. >> And that gap tooth is not real. It's black messic era. Waterproof messic era. She's black messic era. >> That's the Italian school. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. >> Black messic era. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> I don't know. I'm not done about the name. So, as you know, Stragolina, the neighboring is in the condo. >> I wanna talk to, what is it, what is the expression you say, it's like, I would like- >> No, no, no. >> The cocksucker is responsible in the console. What is it? >> The cocksucker who did this to me and the console is responsible. >> Which is from Kill Bill. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Because on this shitty ass block, I live on the loveliest street, and by lovelie, I mean, the shit ass. >> Right. >> I think it's probably, it was technically called, but I think it's actually a shit ass boulevard. And- >> You're in West Hollywood proper, right? - The address is West Hollywood or is it Hollywood? - It's Hollywood, it's technically West Hollywood, but it's really just shit ass. - There is this bewitching area between West Hollywood and Hollywood, where you get the blood of Hollywood with the drug use of West Hollywood. - Be, be, be, be. - Be, too. - Yeah, that's where you are, too. - That's a bingo. - Yep, that's how I know. - That's a bingo. And so on this shit ass street, we've got a lovely array of apartment buildings that, you know, they erect them in about 12, 15 minutes. - Yeah, girl. - Yeah, girl. - I was like, oh, it's with the scaffolding in the 70s. - In the 70s? - Yeah, mama. - In the 70s. - Ding bats, girl. - Ding bats. - Ding bats. - Ding bats. - Popcorn ceilings that amplify sound. - Amplify. - I'm living in a fucking, I'm living in a giant speaker. - Right, it's crazy. - It's the subwoofer. - The subwoofer, yeah. I live in the, it is so flagrant, it's so abusive. And I have to just, I was like running a little late today, so I was stomping, I got stairs, which I love stairs, but I was stomping up and down the stairs. - It's good for you. - Love stairs. - Yeah. - If I could live in like a teeny tiny, like eight, like, you know, just like a little tower with eight rooms. - Oh, a lighthouse with a server with me. - That's what somebody suggested, and I really agree. - I would love that for you. - Me too. - We would never see you. - Privacy. - Girl, the lighthouse would be your fucking iPhone at night watching porn. - No, that's the life. - I don't watch porn on my phone. - You don't? - I do not. - Do you do screens like the guy you've got next door? - No, I'm just kidding. - No, I do not watch porn on my phone. - Girl. - It's so teeny. - Let me just do a performance. - My stigmatism? - No, I didn't know that all that blue light, all that blue light, did you put on night shift? - True tone. - Now, we're back to that guy, because Mary, in my bedroom, I opened the curtain to let, the other day when I opened all the windows to get some fresh air, it was like Piccadilly Circus. It was like-- - In what way? - Piccadilly Circus in here. It was so fucking loud. Because on every cardinal point, there's construction, crack heads. Last night, the helicopters. - Mom of the helicopters were in my bedroom. - Girl. - Those blades were like chewing up my flight or Hollywood. They fly low and they fly with those lights on. Have you ever had the light shining in your house? - Uh-huh. (laughing) - You're at home. - And you're at home. - I'm like, they're coming after me. - Obviously, they're coming after me. - I'm in the kitchen making my Majuel date and rice eroni casserole. Whatever the fuck I'm doing. A celery salad. Right? Lately, I've been getting crafty. I've been doing, I have a nutritional yeast, apple cider vinegar, some dead bugs. - It's crazy. - Girl, it's crazy. But I be in my house on the couch. And when I hear the copters, I'm like, okay, sure. And then sometimes I'll turn on the news to be like, I bet they're in my neighborhood. - The news. - Right? They'll usually have the chase that's going on on the TV at the same time. - They've never even occurred to me. - Oh yeah, you can just see where they're at. You're like, oh yeah, there's galsons. Like they'll just-- - Do you have the news on YouTube? - I don't know. - We watch like six news channels. - Really? - Yeah. - News is on, from sun up to sundown. - I just watched democracy know in the morning, but anyways, go ahead. - Yeah. We watch the local, we watch every iteration. I love the local news in LA because for a huge city, they got fucking nothing to talk about, bitch. For America's second largest city, where they're like, so they're like, They're having a dog adoption at the beat and button fare in Pasadena. I'm like, ain't there shootings? Yeah. Ain't there crackheads jumping out of playing? Yeah. And there's a shoe store in Melrose that's closing at five today. I think what? What the fuck? There is, and the helicopter in the window. It's one thing when they're circling and you're like, get, I'm, and I'm, I'm a little unwoke in the sense that I'm like, I hope you get who you're looking for, like, bring justice, whatever. Right. But on the other hand, it's off in the news. And on the other other hand, once that light comes in my window, oh. You're a queen. You're like, you're like, where are you holding on this like? Yeah. Yes. Especially if I'm in back, I'm usually naked in the hot tub in the backyard because I have good coverage. You're worried about being relatable and I'm talking about being in the backyard in the hot tub. I don't care. No, no, no, no. I mean, this is extremely relatable to me because I'm worried about being naked. Okay. But when there's a plane circling, my mind goes straight to, they're going to TMZ. They're going to shine lights on your breast boobs and your titties. So I have the hot, I put one leg here and usually, if I'm not at my winter weight, I can push my pelvis out of the water. And I wait for the TMZ to fly over and I go, oh, yeah, but then you have, um, you have that crocheted, um, uh, titty type that says KTLA, get a load of this. I don't want to comfort KTLA. No, no, no, no, you turn on the news and then the, um, and then they, like, this story is about like the, the, the house across the street. Yeah. I mean, like, you're a hard boner. There is a woman. She has been very open on social media about, um, on the news, the local news about, um, fighting cancer. She, she wears wigs on the news and it has made me think, if you're on the news, you have to get up to in the morning and all that, get all these women wigs. Yeah. Keep styling your hair at three in the morning, get the women wigs. That is a whole different lifestyle. It's crazy. Um, back to my horrible suffering, um, trauma, um, the last night it was so, it's so crazy. I love to be naked, but even worse is that I love, as you know, to wear these little, um, secret outfits. Yeah. I've heard about those. Yeah. And because I love working out in them and I were, I have, my gym membership is through the window. I, I don't go there anymore. I work out too old to transition. Uh, no, I'm, I'm not 50 when I'm 50, I become the only transsexual. Right. Yeah. So we're not there. By killing everyone else. No, no. No. Okay. No, you know, like, there's like a gold medalist at the Olympics, right? If you know, being a trans woman had that competition, it would just be me right at the top. But everybody knows that. So the, I, my, it's just like, I want to sound, you know, like I've researched so much sound proofing and I'm just like, you know what, let's just get the fuck out of here. Let's just get the fuck out of here. So we, we talked about, I think two episodes ago where you were kind of focusing on pivoting to like reselling. Are you still that pivot then? Yeah, the, the pivot is, is squarely in the front of my consciousness. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. And you said it's going to be a lot of micro steps to do it. Micro macro macro macro macro. It's like, you know, in the movie, The Long Walk with a Shootree, if you start walking. Carl, why would you do all this shit to your bathroom and leave? Burning money. Well, here's the thing. I'm not sure if you've ever met me before. Hi. I love to waste money and I love to make every, every, every wrong decision that there is so that other people can make the right ones. By the way, though, what if someone is like, OK, realtor? I'm looking for a house that is half ugly, half kind of black, white, and red, crazy. No, no, no. And then they find your house and they like work. They're like, this is the, this is my, um, the ultimate retail, you know, uh, buyer situations, like. So I'm like, you know, if I like a three-story townhouse, that has like no privacy at all, like people think creep, creep walls, like tissue paper. Yeah. And it's like super, super goth, hard to clean, and then the other one is, and then the bedroom has like a super weird paint, but like a, like outrageously expensive bed that I can't keep. And then like, you know, and what if, and what if even though this person was rescued from the cycles of addiction by the ex program, what if the whole place wreaked of cigarette smoke? Oh, I am never smoked in that one. You haven't? Not once. That's good. I have married sometimes change happens. My, you've been to my hovel on Laurel, the old, old, old one, the cigarette hut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The smoke shack. The one with the studio, the smoke shack. What was it? Do you know Nick was your neighbor? You at he was, I don't want to say he was, oh, we're just saying a drill, 'cause this though, get, oh my God. I have a story. I've got good stories. Oh my God. Good stories. Oh. Well, we also have a. I know. There's a lot to say. I know I got a lot to say. And it's all going to be on the Patreon. All the good stories will be behind the paywall. Let's take a 30 minute break. Yeah. Let's take a break. I went to visit a sex worker. Oh. Yeah. Because I don't mind jail. Yeah. My dad's not a jail. I went to. I was like, on their deathbed. And Riker's high. Right. Yeah. We drugged up due to the glass. No. It was a, I don't know how much detail is appropriate to go into. Let's do that. So his social security number was no. He was a little expensive, though, LA sex workers, in my opinion, does he know you're talking about this? No. He has no idea what to do. No. One time you got a massage and the person was mad. So I just don't want people to be mad. Well, yes. That guy, because I, I, I flippantly referred to him as a hooker. He was a very nonplussed. Right. I didn't know who I was, though, of course. So then I was a little plexed when he called me out, moments after the podcast had aired. Interesting. Yeah. Anyways. So we respect sex workers. Are you kidding me? That's not a pod where we respect. Well, I adore. Yeah. And we honestly only give glowing. Not that I'm giving them. But when we talk about sex work, we're, we're fashion sex workers on the, accentuate the positive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there's some sidebar. Costers like famous ones say like, you'll never believe who we had. I can't say who I'll tell you after. Do you know what I'm talking about? I hate when they do that. I hate when people have a segue and then say, wasn't that a good segue? No, it's like, if it is break to say it's a good segue, it makes me want to lose it. Yeah. It's like, it's like when someone's fucking with their like, isn't this fucking nice? Girl. It's up there with, isn't this an enjoyable fucking? I'm giving you it's working, right? Is it working? No. It's up there when you go to a restaurant that has four walls, a door and food being served. And they say, we're doing, we do things a little different around here. No, you don't. That's when they take down their khakis and start jacking it on your plate. So I'm going to say what food I want. You're going to bring me that food. I'm going to give you money and leave. Baby, I hate to burst your bubble, but they're doing the same thing next door at the other restaurants. Okay. Rich. Okay. It's crazy. Can I talk about? Oh, no. The hooker. Let's get the hooker. Okay. He wouldn't mind. Okay. Sex worker. Sex worker. Yeah. A sling. I don't do that. But, um, so, uh, it was a sexy massage. It was very vanilla. I'm such like, I'm such a polyanna sling is vanilla. Call me when it's a news. Oh, no, no. I didn't use the sling. I know. He had a bunch of news. He says he has a sling. Well, I mean, not that I have or ever will. But, um, but the auto, I'm so fascinated by auto erotic asphyxiation. Well, don't get too fast. I won't do it. Okay. You know what I want? I don't want a sling. I want the center bites. Chains flying out from the corner. You open the box. So I came. Call me when it's that. When I proposed to someone with a ring, they're going to open the box and it's just going away. Okay. So lovely time. Huge, wonderful clock. Good. But in lovely guy, older. That's great. Older. Do you make you feel comfortable in all that? Oh, lovely. And just we had banter. We chatted. Did you know that you used to be a? I mentioned it. And then I showed him a picture of me as, um, as a regular. As a regular. And he was like, that's you. And I said, yeah. So I put on drag and I just did a little show. No. You probably showed him like a face app baby filter. It was mugger rub. Liquid. And withering heights though. You didn't see me yet. Right. No, but we did that. But point is that was by my old, old neighborhood. Right. So I walked around the street. I went to the smoke shop to get some, um, uh, $11 sprite. And $11 sprite. Girl. They got you crazy. But it's so delicious. And the guy. But you don't live on that tree anymore. It's like how to stay into it. A state tuition now. Yeah. And I was like, I was so like, I was so whistle. I'm like, you know, it was memory lane. And I, the smoke shop used to go there all the time. And the guy was like, really cute. And I was, he was really nice. Straight. And then you started like talking about my tattoos. And I was like, oh my god. I wanted to fuck him so bad. Okay. So I left, got to the window. The piece of shop order pizza went back in. And then got another, I think I got like skittles or something. Back for your other $10 or $11. No, no, this was like a just a candy whatever. It's across skittles. Did you get in pizza? No, I hadn't happened yet. Oh. And I was just like, I was like trying to like be, I'm, I'm creepy. You know, I know. I know. And like if I try to do smoother slick or have game, it, it gives like yikes. So I, but it was working. He was so interested in my tattoos. And like, he was like, I swear to god, he's giving me these lingering glances. And I found that more erotic and exciting than actually anything happening after that. You know, Mateo and I were talking about. this. I think that things that aren't sex can sometimes be sexier, not even comparable but on their own level, sexier, without the sex, but sexier. I mean, that's why I literally don't jerk off to porn. I jerk off to, you know, clips from late show, Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, I have something to show you that's made me horny. If it's a new clip of Jason Memorial, I don't want to get a boner, so don't show me. No, but I don't speak Spanish, but when I watched Bad Bunny, almost called him Lady Bunny, but when I watch Bad Bunny, I knew those lyrics were about him wanting to fuck me. No doubt in my mind. Conservatives are like, we can't understand. I'm like, I do. I'll speak the word of Spanish and I know he's talking about opening me up. And Benito, you can write in. We don't have guests anymore, really, but I would yeah, you can tell me and have him. I thought I saw him on a scooter today, but I was like, I don't think he's on the scooter in my life. So do you know about this viral queen, queen? Do you know what this viral evil queen from Disneyland? Yes. Who got fires? Yes. She's become a friend of mine, we text, but I'm kind of mystified by that. Because in some ways, I feel like their job is the only thing similar to our job. Yeah. Oh, very much so. Right. Yeah. But there's a second one. So universal studios, they have different characters. They have Scooby Doo, they have, they have Wicked, they have, like all different, they have their own franchises, right? Flubber. Flubber. They have Dracula, old school, like Dracula, like old school, like Bella Legosi Dracula. There is a Dracula who's famous on TikTok called Dimples Dracula. Super tall, super deep voice. Look. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Jack. How are you? So do you and all of you watching better now that might fool this here? He says to an angry, he goes, don't worry. Life is short, but I can always make it short there. Oh, isn't that horny? That's so horny. And he has dimples. So the TikTok search is dimples Dracula. And all the comments are like, this isn't a hear me out. This is hold me back. So wait, I'm not going to universally more because he's going to hear about this. Yeah. And he's going to, yeah, you'll get a restraining order. No. If you go, you'll probably get an offer to do not sparrot too. Yeah. As long as they get to work with him. Yeah. I know how weird to do. Obviously Dracula is a gentleman. He's suave. But tall and horny, when people take the picture of them, he puts the cap around them. It's like, oh, sorry. That's not cream cheese on the floor. You know what I mean? Thank you. Bird poop. No, I think it is. Sorry. Girl thought of you the other day. Wait, wait, wait. Bottle meal cooked it. Did you do the steel cut? Did you do the batch? Was it rolled out quick oats? I think it was rolled oats. Is that bad? It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. But it was a bag. Yeah. I cook it with water for 30 minutes. No. But they were like, what do they look like? They didn't do it. It was 10 minutes. Okay. So you got it. They looked like wood ticks. They're like flat deer ticks like flat pine pinewood colored. Yeah. Oh, it's the kind that might be on bread. You got to get into the golden spurtle. Got it. So the Irish steel cut oatmeal, the golden spurtle. So what you got to do is you got to, it's annoying, but I cook a whole week's worth when they call it, I hate this term meal prepping. It feels like cooking, baby. It's just cooking. Just say you're cooking. I'm cooking food. I'm meal prepping. I'm not, I'm not hiking Kilimanjaro this week. I'm investing in my mental health. Baby, you're unemployed. Pick a lane. I'm taking some, I'm taking some time for me. You're lazy. You got divorced, honey. Yeah. So 30 minutes. And then I cook like it's like five batches. And then what you do is like you, you don't do milks, right? I do soy milk, fresh strawberries, and honey drizzle. Can I tell you what I do? I probably said it in million times. I think you do a lot of sugar. Well, let me tell you. So I take a big chunk. I put in the pan. This is, I don't use a microwave anymore because the microwave in my house sounds like, I don't know, like the world is ending. I also don't want to be a conspiracy theorist, but in beauty school, they taught us that microwaves kill food. And I think it might be true. Microwaves, they don't have many Europe, I don't think. And I think for good reason. That's why they can drink wine when they're pregnant. Oh my God. My mother was European. So wait, she didn't drink. She smoke weed though. Oh, that's fine. Actually, like gives you people I'm from. They find out they're pregnant around eight months. And they're like, they're like, these keg stands are really difficult. So wait, so I put half and half because I don't have milk in my house. Just half and half. Okay. You know, I think that's okay. Thank you. Cause last time you said it was disgusting. I mean, you drinking it. I've seen you like almost drink this shit, which yeah, you were here with that giant jug of dairy coffee. Yeah. The white chocolate mocha. I think if you guys a woman on the edge, when you come in here with a trough of white mocha chocolate frapper, frapper caviar. I'm like, she's carboloding. Why? I love, I love nasty sugar. I think with sober people, they love to have sex and let them have coffee. Well, maybe all they have. Mary, the best part of this book called living sober is have a milkshake. Have a milkshake. That's what it literally say. It's like, have a milkshake. So anyways, so you do the, I cook it, I'm heated up on the stove in the pot with the half and half. Then I put brown sugar, probably too much for you. Brown sugar, walnuts, dry cranberries. If I have fresh fruit like blackberry strawberries, a little bit of chia seeds and Mary, that fucking bowl of oatmeal is so goddamn nourishing. Your body, it's like you feel the cells in your body going, ah, thank you. You've just been shoveling trash into this furnace for like the last three years. I was gonna say compared to what you do the rest of the day. Because I mean the shop here get Taco Bell. Go home and probably a pizza. Excuse your mouth. Yeah. That's what I do. That's actually exactly what they didn't give you. Talk about when you got here. I don't think you'd come. No, because Queen, I don't know. But then wait, so the back to the last thing I want to say about the, um, the, the thingy, um, the hooker. So I was so, I love that street so much. And I went to my old apartment and, um, visited my friend Roman who lived there inside. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we did. And I, I knew who lived in there. Yeah. He's my friend. Oh, okay. But the other place I lived on Laurel is for rent again. I don't know if you've ever been there. Do you want to go back? Yes. I want to say I really like that for you. It's, it was, it's a return to you. Thank you. Welcome back to me. It was, you, you, you saw the garden right inside the fucking Roman. It is like the most otherworldly like courtyard. Oh, I remember this otherworldly. Yeah, I remember this. I mean, no pool. Oh, wait, I'm thinking of your place that had the studio and the apartment. That's, that's, yeah, that's on the same street. Are you talking about the place with the big stairs where you originally had the expense of bed? Yes. Go there. I love that apartment. Yes. It was nice. That's where we, that's where we heard the scream heard around the world. 17 candles burning on the stairs at once. Remember birdie screaming at night. The scream. The scream. We decided she was an actress, right? Yes, but she has a job. No, no, yeah, no, that has to be. She did a good job. She did an incredible job. I don't know why we haven't heard that scream in like many movies since I think when they greenlight screen movies, actresses should just stand at their windows and scream. And that's how you audition. She was probably a voice actor. Maybe so. Yeah. Anyways, that place, it's so hidden. It's so like, and it had like a private front yard. Point is the privacy. This is my private front. I have an open back. But so that, that is like, it's on the corner of a very busy intersection in West Hollywood. So noisy. Great location. So noisy. You go through that gate. Silence. This is when you had the electric bike. Yeah. That I stupidly left out in the, am I right? And it was stolen. There was one here yesterday, electric bike here. Who's is it? There was one here yesterday and I said, who's is this? Probably mine. It looks, they look happy. Are you fucking kidding me? It's like 70 pounds. It's like 70 pounds. I have no desire to be on a motorcycle. Mama, I almost hit somebody on what I didn't almost hit somebody. I wouldn't do. Yeah. Kwinga pass. Our favorite little thing. This guy on a bike, not in a bike lane, because there's no bike lane. If the, you know, there's one lane, people are flying down. He's in the middle of the road. Good for him. Yeah. That's great. What could possibly go wrong with that? Yeah. It's high love biking, but unless it's a tough place to bike, there are places where you absolutely can do it because the city has gone to the effort of carving out bike lanes, which people still ignore, but whatever. I would say it's like a Santa Monica Boulevard has a bike lane. It absolutely does. That's a great street to bike, but it's almost like. And it's also pretty flat. What you can do on Google maps is you can select any directions here in a mountain bike, and it will send you on the streets with bike lanes or the slower streets. You should just go down to, uh, go down in the beach, get the electric bike, put on lined up, ran your headphones, and just do the whole little strip from Manhattan Beach to Redondo to fucking palace fair days. Right. New Lana song. I have a white tail deer hawk hunter, something like that. What is it called? White, white deer tilt. Whatever. It's just called white. No, it's, it's pretty, it's more witchy. White feather hawk tail deer hunter. Yeah. I'm going to listen to it. I have a moment to cover art is it gives. So she's antagonistic with her cover our children. is and I love it. It gives like, I even know what. It's like, my favorite was lust for life. Oh, she looks so beautiful in that cover. She looks, I think she looks beautiful at everything. But like, she, you know, she's taken some artistic turns that I found fascinating. I don't necessarily love it. Anyways, um, love it. Oh, yes. Okay. I get a text from you a few nights ago saying, I got tickets to love it. I thought it meant in the future sometime. Yeah. Mary, so it was that day. It was so, yeah, I had, it was a bummer because we had to go, me and I had to go fly out at seven in the morning flight. It's about to wake up at 4.45 AM. You got to go, well, it was my fault because I go the day before. I go the day before now, you had a show to go to. But now I splurge, I spent my own money and just go the day before. No, no, no, no, it's not negotiable. I have to go the day before. But I couldn't miss the love of our concert. I get it. And last one was so good. Baby, she pulled some, there was some Tom Fulori at this show. So how did you get the ticket? So I purchased it online. She still ain't sending me a ticket. I guess it's because you're kind of her biggest critic too. Oh, no, no, she didn't know who I am. There's no idea who I am. But me, she, my friend, I went with her. She bought the tickets. We go and we went last time. As soon as we get to the front door, not even inside Mal from Avalon, it's like, Katya, I was like, yeah, she was like, oh, come on. We're going to be to VIP. And I was like, I was like trying to hide the brick, the huge brick in my pants. Because you shit. No, I should be four. I got rid of that. Oh, a boner. Okay. And I was like, so she took us up to the side. It was just amazing. But then two, three songs later, she came back up. She's like, you guys, we got it. Sorry, we have to leave. She got us to a better spot front and center of VIP with our own food and everything and seating and bank it. What? This is amazing. It was amazing compared to the time you saw her in Florida. And you were like, where I paid foolishly, stupidly, splurged for like three other people, three of my friends. I think I paid five grand, right? For shit ass seats, a horrible show in the worst place on earth. Yeah. It wasn't even in Miami. It was like, nor it was horrible. But she did something with her costume changes that were that would be futile and complex you in a good way. In a strange way. So you know, you know, it's okay. A drag queen, for example. She loves to keep you guessing. And she does listen to this. She goes, that bitch didn't like my big suit. I'm going to show her some weird shit. Oh, baby, baby. So she got bigger. Okay. So if you play, if you play the concert in reverse, it makes sense. So she would come out in like a look like crystal something. But then she would put on something else and then put on something else. What? It's like she was getting ready to go. She's getting colder. I was like, what the hell is going on? I'm so fit that I get cold up here. No idea. She did, by the way, the only part into film, of course. I know it's stupid to film concerts. You never watch the footage, whatever. I would have rewatched the, and it'll be available sometime. But she, one of my favorite songs that she did this, she had, we should we have a similar move in vocabulary, wiggle, wiggle, ding, ding, ding. But when she, she did this like, she did this, stand up. She goes like, this is a good reminder you guys should watch the pod on the YouTube. Oh my God. It was like, it was kind of like that. It was kind of funny. And it was kind of a Gypsy Rose kind of dance. Have you seen these videos? No. Well, I'm a long time supporter. Well, I'm a long time follower of hers. Is that the one I killed my mom and I don't care. No, she cares. Oh, no. Okay. Is that chicken and McCurdy? That's Jeanette McCurdy. That's, I don't care my mom. I don't care my mom's dead. Oh, right. Sorry. That's not her. Her book is called like, into the light of survivors junior or something. I did read Gypsy's book. Okay. Book is called my time to stand. My time to stand. So it's, I have a signed copy. Um, not sorry. That's like flex, but people were going to stop listening now. A signed copy. Um, but she, because of I think something about the case, a lot of the video files from when it happened are public now. Something about something of information act or whatever freedom of information. Okay. So all these files, video files that Gypsy had sent to her co-defendant, like who she TikTok dancing in court. No, she's not dancing in court, but the videos that were playing in court are like her and Wigs doing characters. You know, she's so abused, sort of, touch with, it's just a wild. Um, but they're calling it the Gypsy in files. I hate that. Um, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. They're called the Gypsy in files. So if you want to watch those, you can go on TikTok and watch them. I, I don't know her, I don't know how she'd feel about people watching them, but it's public information. So, but I'm saying this because one of the songs she dances to is that song by fun. Some nights I play my lips go a bit or whatever. Um, and there's a dance she does and they're calling it the Gip hip where she, um, goes like this. Mama, that was Ms. Lava. And so maybe she's doing the Gip hip. She was doing that in a whole lot more. But so she could marry her. We thought I didn't make it up. So she, the, first of all, I, she loves the designer moment. She loves to get it. I like, I think, you know, designers reach out to her or her team to them, whatever happens. She came out in scap rally. No, cool. It was scap rally. Cool. Mary, no, it was a brown suit. It was a brown suit. So it was, I was like, oh, that's it. She got your ass. I was like, I mean, her body is T always. She's so gorgeous. Her fucking wig. I've had it. I wanted again. I don't, it's like a long, like a long, like page boy bob with a root. It's just, it is a wig, but it's so beautiful. But this brown suit, it's like a two piece with a visible penny that's kind of kind, but her, at every moment, her four backup dancers were in sparkle, sparkle, sparkle, visually outshining her at every turn. It's a matte brown suit, baby. It's like, I have Mr. Hanky bubs. It's, so it's leggings that have this weird flap on the front. And then it's like skin tight, but then it has like two little bows with some cutouts, black bows. You think she got like the, the Nordstrom rack scap rally? It's totally, it's the, it's the look from the Nordstrom rack or rally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, so perplex. I was like, I was like, oh, that's interesting. She wanted to wear in your ideal world. Okay. So exact for this, for example, same outfit, solid stones, because she had a rhinestone pimp cane, solid stones, because her, guess what her dancers were wearing, stones. So in that she want them to be this spectacle. But wait, so I was like, oh, it was like song, song, song. I was like, I wonder if we're just going to cost him to change it. Michi and I were like, we're joking about it. And then someone comes out with a green latex trench coat and puts an honor. What? Exactly. And then color green, puke. Oh, pea soup. Oh, really? Like, like a, not an emerald. It was like a, it was like a sage-ish kind of green. It was like, what? I know it was a green army man. It was crazy. And then so she did, and then another raincoat. Exactly. Just in case it started raining on stage, I don't know. And then she did this crazy thing. We're like, she would do, she came out in this pretty beautiful, like, body suit that had all this like rhinestone fringe. I was like, great. She puts a jacket on over it. What? And then a coat and then a stole. Was she trying to sneak snacks into the movies? Like, what did she do? But if you had played it in reverse, it would have been like, ah, ooh, ah, ah. Instead, it was like, ah, huh? Huh? Huh? It was so strange. So by the end of it, she's just pushing a shopping credit posing or like, what is she doing? And then there's a lot that happened in the middle. Mary, this is unforgivable. But you love the music? Well, the sad list was okay. But when she did her global hit, the one that everybody knows who knows her is called your eyes. And it's like a huge hit for her. The visuals. Oh, it was an AI ape. What? It was an AI gorilla. An AI slop video. It looked like AI. You know, it was giant screen. And the crazy thing is that a song previous was this, like, she does this little snake number. And they had an intro video while she was changing into her next trench coat or whatever. And it was her naked with this huge ball python. It was one of the sexiest, like, interstitial videos I've ever seen in my life. And then when she comes on for the number, it's clip art cobras. Clip art cobras that we saw in Miami. I mean, visuals are expensive. I get it. No, they're not. No, I'm not excusing it. I'm saying, why doesn't she have the better visuals? I'm trying to think. But here's their expensive. But so, but like me, me in the middle, because that, like, you know, Beyonce's fucking Beyonce's visuals were like Oscar winning. Mary, they don't, they don't even have to all be that expensive. No, no, they don't. Good can be inexpensive. Absolutely. Creative means you can do anything with anything. Mary, Nick and I were in the studio yesterday where we're working on visuals for SuperDisco right now. The show that's going to come to all the music festivals this year. Yeah. But one of the parts I don't want to give it away was, I was like, well, we can't afford XYZ XYZ, but we need some way for the the other ship in the show to talk to the audience. I need lips and I need my lips saying these phrases. So we painted huge, tricksy lips. Bigger than usual, a really dark lepliner, really light highlight. Painted the rest of my face in neck green and we shot in front of a green screen to make floating lips cost zero dollars. I'm not saying she has to do that, but I'm saying sometimes, limitation is the mother of-- - Mary, she did that in both videos. - Oh, look at that. If you look up her video for Boom Boom, that's exactly what she did. And it was amazing, that's beautiful. But I'm just saying, yeah, sometimes it's a recession. Sometimes you gotta, as an artist, look at you guys, this is for next year's show. I mean, look at that. - Yeah. - Imagine my face painted green. - Yeah, literally, I mean, she has done that in her video. I did that in Ding Dong. She could have just used the video because that she did that in the show too. She used clips from her music videos. - Yeah. - And it was like, at the end of the show, I was like, "Mary, this is unforgivable." - Well, again, I wasn't there. I trust you because of anybody. You're like an above above average supporter of her. - I knew every single fucking lyric, everyone. - So if a fan like you is going in, look at it. (buzzer) - Give me that. - That's my mind. - This is what we need to be showing. That is your Sniffies ad. - I need to lob it out again into this. - Yeah. - Okay. - Svetlana, are you watching this? - No. - Why can't this be you? - I mean, the funny thing is, that is the size of our lips. - No, I'm serious. - No, I know. - I, that was, well, shows cost money to make. They show it cost money to do, cost it. I'm not making excuses. I'm just saying there's ways to make the right decisions about what can be cheap and look good. - Yeah. - And Beyonce doesn't have to worry about what's cheap. - No, but I don't think she does either. I mean, she's not making a ton of money on this tour. I don't think, you know, it was like the Avalon. And it was interesting, interesting crowd. There was a lot of, what I noticed is these, do she look in guys, facing away from the stage the entire time? - Yeah. - I was probably like, you know, they were dragged there by their wives or girlfriends or something. - Or it's more like a party. - I hate that. - When I did Coachella, there was lots of people, they're in a circle of a group. They're not really looking at me. I guess it's also, that is actually a party. - Yeah, compared to a concert. - And there's so many other things going on. - Yeah. - But in any case, there was, yeah, but it was, and I don't, I don't want to be mean, but like I think she was very, very tired 'cause I think she had a brutal, brutal schedule. So at the end, it's funny. Like her background, her four dancers were cont. Those hores were cont. It's like snatched up ponytails. Their choreo was crisp and lovely. Their outfits were amazing. And for the last bit, she comes out, they come out in this red sequin. Like they just look sexy, shiny. She comes out and like, I looked it up. I think it's Vivian Westwood, a red velvet kind of negligee thing with a hip detail that may look like a fupa, no sparkle. - What? - I know. And I'm like, dude. - I wish she would let you direct her costumes. - So she's very hit or miss. Like, there's some performances I've seen of her when I'm like, I would kill all of you in this room just to look like that and be able to wear it, you know? Other times, I'm like, Mary, like the yellow suit. There's this, there's also an Instagram I saw and she had a beige bell bottom jumpsuit with a smattering of like brown stones on it. And I was like, if she wears that, I'm gonna unalive myself tonight. - Right. - She did not. But it was, it was a little underwhelming. And I, there was, she usually does this encore where like the ending song is called, it's time to go home, whatever. And it's a great, it has a great remix. It makes sense. It's time to go home. The, the encore was so lifeless and in low energy. I just felt bad. - Yeah, and I'm just saying. - I don't wanna be a hater, I am a hater, but like. - You're such a supporter of her. If anything, you're going in ready to eat dog shit if you have to. - Yeah, I'm not, I can't, I don't wanna be a hater. - No, right, I'm literally, I'm the only thing I am too. - The only thing I was a little subconscious about was standing up and dancing and screaming all the lyrics. And I didn't wanna obstruct anybody's view. But like, I just, yeah, I was like, wow, this is really, it was interesting. And sometimes like, the AI thing really fuck, I really fucking hated that. - Yeah. - Because other numbers, she didn't have any visuals. It was just like, just her, no dancers. - Just do nothing. - You know, yeah, just do nothing. And I think her voice over the course of the evening was like, I think she was losing it. - At least she was singing. - Oh, and I think she sounded great. And I know that there's like three types of, usually in Russian concerts, there's three types of things, like full lip syncing, I forget what they're called, people you know. It's like, I Googled it, 'cause there's like, and they had these giant shows in Russia. Huge crazy pop shows. And like, typically they would just lip sync album tracks, or they would pipe it in for the broadcast. And people were like, no, no, no, no. But like, there's just too much going to go wrong. - Yeah. - You know, in a show like that. - I'm fine with pretty much zero singing. I don't care. Make it all fake, I don't care. - Thank you. - I want her to look for best. - Especially if it's a girl. - I'm like, let her do it. - Let her do it. - Baby. - If they're dancing? - If they're dancing, you can nuts. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The shoe, shoe with these black, black. - Yeah, it has some styling. - People hate women. Like you do right now. - I do. - I keep seeing these clips of Jennifer Lopez in Vegas in the comments are like, should she really be dancing like this at 50? - I was like, what the, I said it to Tracy, I was like, what the fuck? - That's crazy. - You know what people are crazy? - She should be dancing, but not with that choreo. (laughing) - I don't know who her choreo was. - I think she goes to the same herographer as Plastic. 'Cause they both have bundles blowing in the wind. - Mama, the bundles. Oh, there was a few moments where she really let loose with the hair, Miss Lebeda. And I was just like, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get it. - I'm gonna get it. (laughing) - And it was like, the song I was, oh, she just, when she did break it down, she really broke it down. 'Cause like, but when she didn't break it down, it was broke down. (laughing) - It was tore down. - I'm like, how have you seen her three times? - Three times, that's great. - Yeah, first time, she's super disappointed. - She's super disappointed. - Second time was transcendent. - Right. - This time was, you know, I think I maybe had unrealistic expectations, but I certainly didn't expect to go to VIP. - That's great, you know? - You're a world famous person who is desperately in support of this woman's art. - Yeah. - It's nice that they recognized you. - She didn't, but male from Avalon did. - But now, if you go to a fucking show and you don't get that treatment, you're gonna feel like. - That's why I got Ms. Mel's number, baby. Anytime I'm at the Avalon. - I gotta send her some stuff today. - Actually, she wanted to sign a copy of her book. - We've signed it for her. - Yeah, I'll do whatever. - She's so beautiful. - So nice. - Anything to get you closer to the stage for the shows that you may or may not like. - Thank you. (laughing) - So that I can complain about them. - I'm gonna find more critical. - Yeah. - We will win this thing when this thing. - They had, the crowd was so crazy. - They've never seen so many women with the most healthy, long, thick, bone straight, not one extension in their, just Russian bundles. - Dark bundles. - Blonde, dark, whatever. - There's all straight people, right? Is there a gay following for her? - Yes, but it's, you know, gay, you know, Russian gay is a little bit cool. - But I mean, are a lot of the people who go to her concert here in the States? - Have to be. - They have descent, Russian descent. - Everybody's still a Russian. - Nobody knew who I was, they just put it that way. - Love that. - Yeah, because Russian people don't give a fuck about me, but like, there's, it was everybody speaking Russian or Ukrainian and the girls, Mary, the girls were so hot. So many hot girls, so many hot girls, so many ugly guys. - Yeah. - So many ugly, fucking nasty looking guys. That's how they though. - Yeah. - Do we wanna read some reviews? - Oh my god, we have some great reviews. - We do, yeah. - I forgot about that. - It'll do to each, how about that girl? - What do you think? - Is it okay if I walk around in my little, my little, come here their negliges in my, in my home and people see me? - Who are the people? - The helicopters. You have no makeup or wigs on? - No. - I'm known, I'm not crazy. - But isn't that go against your rule of people seeing you? Isn't the whole point is that you have your secret costumes? That's a really fair point, thank you. - Okay, Scott, with seven teas. Scott, best podcast, oh, I get it. - I don't, do you remember the episode where I was like, Scott, the sound guy, you gonna fuck me, Scott? - Oh, I remember that. It's just from Ashley Rusenek. Best podcast ever makes me deliriously happy every time a new episode drops. Lost in Scott's eyes is the best episode I ever listened to, whatever I really need to laugh. High balled, still jobless. - Excellent, excellent. That's fierce, okay. Okay, let's see, from 3 a.m. dancing to 3 a.m. something. This podcast gives me life, especially when I listen to the ads. I wish you guys would talk less and it would just all be ads. I love the ads so much. I get so hard and bricked up when I hear the ads. Would you please talk less and just do more ads? - Thank you. - This probably came from Squarespace. This came from an ad, but it's this came from one of the ad companies. Yeah, better help. - It's from Quince. - It's from Quince, yeah. - It's from Quince. - Racketing, more ads. Let's see, human sunshine, you guys are so fat. I love hearing how fat, I just, I wish. Like honestly. - Your voice just sound like you're huge. Have you got any weight? - I love the mouth breathing. I love the mouth breathing. - Yeah. - What's with your skin? I've always said challenging skin. - God. - That's too real. You too make my week. Love hearing all the laughter and friendship. It's like being there capital in the room. I have to see you live now. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm just kidding. It's all lovely things. Best podcast from Ketchum O6. Love these two individuals and as friends. They make me cackle with the light. I'm writing this review from The Trixi Motel. - Hey. - Big fan. - Huge, it says. (laughing) I love that. - Well, thank you guys very much. - Yep, and Amy Polar, we're coming for you. - Amy, we're coming for you. We're getting more lights. We're getting the same guests as you, but they're gonna be completely topless. - Yes, and they're gonna say what time they like to go to bed. - Yep. - What they like to eat. And on next episode, I'm gonna give you the cold bear question in there. - Stay happy topless. (laughing) - I love that, stay happy topless. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)