The Sneaky Nakamara

Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade Electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. Hey! Hey everybody! Yeah, we got new merch. We got new merch. No? Yeah, we got it. Yeah, we got it. Pink, and we got this shirt in yellow. Yeah. And we've got that sweater in gray, in a beautiful gray. Yeah. And go to badfriendsmerch.com to go get this stuff while it lasts. Yeah, because sometimes when they run out, they run out. When they run out, we are going to be out, so get this while you still can. And we'll get new ones at some point, but no time soon. Yeah. Go to badfriendsmerch.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. I realize that Andreas doesn't like quiet moments with me. Why? Why do you not like to be quiet with him and just hang out? I knew he was driving up to the parking lot, so I went out there to greet him, like I always do every episode. I like to give him a light hug and ask him what his days are like. I complimented my car. I said it was a beautiful car. What else did I say? And then you got really close. No, I said, where do you live on a. Do you also live on a junkyard? But as a joke, I said that. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. It's not funny because it's real. I know. That's what I realized. He does live in a junkyard. Yeah, that's what I realized. What did I tell you? You go, you said, I don't remember. But then I. I don't remember that part. I plead the fifth on that. Yeah. You're a little junkyard dog. You're a junkyard dog. You're a little Spanish junkyard dog. Then I could see you racing to the door, right? And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. You know what I mean? What about our moment? He goes, I don't like moments with you. Why don't you? I don't like moments with Bobby. What's the problem? Yeah. He gets uncomfortably close. Yeah. That's a hard word for you to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you saw his brain pause. Don't mess this up, Andres. I was going in for a hug, though. Yeah. I realize you don't like hugs. Right. You don't. You're not a touchy-feely person. Not from you. Okay. Now, through Andrew, I've never seen you hug Andrew either. Andrew's more like normal, you know? Yeah, because you're not a hugger. But if he gives me a hug, he doesn't, you know, grab my butt. I'm trying to get all of you, dude. Exactly. I want to hug your butt, dude. Why can't I hug your butt, guy? I'm not a hug. We're not huggy people, though. Who? But, well, like, I don't come from huggy folk. Yeah. We don't hug. We do sometimes, if it matters. We do a side hug, though. Like, when your dad dies, we hug. That's the only time you hug. When your dad died, I hugged you. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hugged you when your dad died. Yeah, you insulted me first. I did not. I did not. What? Insults are verbal hugs. Right. Right? You look stupid today. Right. Big hug. I'm so love here. Yeah, big hug. So you're back on your Desi Hual shirts, huh? Desi Hual. I've never been out of them. You have been a little bit. You know who also wears those shirts? Prince Andrew. Oh. He does. He does. He loves that shirt. It's a little weird. What does this mean? Who did this? Who did this, McCone? Yeah. Glad friends. Is that because we had dinner with your friend? Oh, yeah. Well, wait. You had dinner with Andrew, with your friend? Mm-hmm. Did I get a call? No, because we just did a Whiskey Ginger episode like an hour ago. We just did a pod, and then I took them out for a little meal. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. That's fair. Because I have a lot of meals after Tiger Belly, and you're not invited to those. Yeah, exactly. Right? So that's fair. It's fair. It's nice. It was a nice little outing for a second. It was a nice little outing with them. But you know- Who's them? I want to- Can you describe? Him and his good buddy. My good buddy. His friend's in from out of town. And his friend comes in from out of town, and he sleeps on his couch. Can you imagine? I can't imagine. On his couch. Yeah. You sleep on your couch. He sleeps on the other couch? You guys sleep on the same couch? It's an apartment filled with couches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Down the couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're both on one side. I see. Yeah. Well, McCone's got an entire, I don't know, an entire Salvation Army in his backseat. I'm not kidding. What do you mean? Overflowing with clothes. Overflowing. He keeps his whole closet in his car. I don't know if he's on the run. What are you doing? Well, my mom was just in town, and we went through a lot of my clothes that I'm going to donate and get rid of, but now they're just in garbage bags. We know your mom was in town. We went and had a burger with your mom. That was a sneaky little visit, huh? Yeah. Can I tell people when it went on? Go ahead. You and I, after the pod, we amongst ourselves went, you know what I mean? Let's go get a burger. Yeah. It was between you and I. That's what it felt like. Be honest. Was it between you and I? That's what I thought. That's what I thought as well. A private moment. It's a private. You got in my car. Yep. We drove to the burger place. Yeah. Right? We're sitting there, and all of a sudden, McCone and his beautiful dear mother comes and pretended like, whoa, you guys are here too? And we're like, yeah, you fucking heard us that we were coming here. Here's McCone. I didn't know you guys were going to be here. Yeah, yeah. No, I think you said, I thought you didn't know for sure. Yeah, but I was going to come here anyway. Opposite direction of where he lives. Right. Literally opposite. Really opposite? Yeah, 100%. Oh, 100% the opposite. And then what you did is, let's all sit together. I felt bad. Right? Oh, yeah. So we're sitting there, which changes what I wanted to talk about. 100%. Yeah. Yeah, because with you and I, we could spill the beans. Different story. Yeah, and then with your mom, I was like, oh, well, how is the weather in Minneapolis? Yeah, yeah, in Minneapolis. Yeah. And you should have seen, dude, the way she was flirting with Bobby, was crazy. She was flirting with him. She kept eating fries. She'd put ketchup on it and go. Yeah. And she'd go. She would get the smallest fry, too, which is offensive. You're the crispy, small one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She goes, little yellow fry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you sucked at it. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like that. Yeah. But you know what? That's whatever. You're an attractive boy. Yeah. And I get it. People are going to flirt with you. You know what? I would if your mom was single. All right. All right. Hello. Stick around, man. Yeah, I'm kidding, McCown. You never know what the world holds for us right now. I'm on my Olympics kick harder than I've ever been. I haven't seen a single. I'm watching luge. I'm watching. What else are you watching, guy? Curling. We watched curling last night. And then I watched it again. Exciting. Yeah. Don't you like it? Yeah. The figure skating. Are we doing good? Who's doing the best in figure skating? We do. We got a sweet little boy. Malman or something? Let's see the gold medal leader right now is Norway. It would be. Italy and US is in third. But a Nordic country should be in first. Exactly. It's the winner. It's the winner. It's the winner. Winter Olympics. We had this discussion at dinner. Why isn't the summer and winter Olympics taking place at the same time? Yeah. Why are they not? Is Ghana on there? Let me see where Ghana is. Ghana's gone. All right. I mean. That was supposed to be a joke. I got it. No one got that. Well, how come the Jamaican bobsled team isn't on there? Didn't they kind of make a. They made a movie about it. They made a pop about it. Yeah. It was a big deal for a short amount of time. We said, why couldn't the winner in the summer be at the same time? Why don't they do them at the same time? Ooh. I look at Carlos is trying to figure out the math here. Yeah. Why wouldn't that work? No, it could work. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let him try to figure it out. Why wouldn't it work? They wouldn't be in the same place, but it'd be happening the same time. Oh, I thought it was same place. And then the issue was pants versus shorts packing. Oh, packing. So that's the big deal is packing. It really threw me. Right. No, but. You can do it at the same place. Well, yeah, kind of. There's certain sports you couldn't do, like the long distance running thing. What's it called? Long distance running. No. I think it's cut and dry. I don't think so. Yeah. It's called long distance running. No, it's called marathon. Marathon? Yeah, marathon. Marathon. The ones that the Africans are good at. Those are the sprints. That's everything. Any running. You're right. They're good at all the running. Pretty good at jumping, running. Yeah. The running and the jumping, right? Right. You could do that indoors. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Long marathon, probably not. No, they would just keep running around that track. You run around the track. What's 26 times four? 30,000 times. There it is. Yeah. It's a long day. But I just said you could do it. Yeah, 26 miles. We know. 105 laps. You could do it hemispherically, because right now it's winter in Australia. I'm sorry. It's summer in Australia, winter elsewhere, right? Winter here, summer there. You just switch it. You just do a summer here, summer there, winter here. Just do it at the same time. I think it's a good idea. I think they should do it simultaneously. Then it would make more of a buzz. The Olympics don't have the buzz anymore that they used to have. The Winter Olympics. What does better, winter or summer? Summer, right? Summer. Summer kills it. It's not even close. Well, because winter is a lot of skiing and then shooting at little targets, and then skiing it, and then a lot of luci. Yeah. They're flying. I have a suggestion. Yeah? Do all three at the same time. Summer, winter. What's the other one? The one you put in Hobbiton or something. Oh, special. Special Olympics. So winter, summer, special. Like some fantasy, you know what I mean? I don't know. Wait. What? No, winter, summer, special Olympics. Yeah, where do you put special? Somewhere in the- Middle Earth. What? Middle Earth. Like Middle Earth or, you know what I mean? Or at the castle at the Hogwarts, what's that, Hogwarts Castle? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're big Special Olympics fans over here. You're great. Huge. I'm huge. You're great at that. I don't know how, so what? We're down on medals. We got some time left. I'm hoping the USA really pops back. Yeah. Because we're big USA fans over here. I like when a small country wins something. Like Trinidad and Tobago. Tobago we said earlier? Yeah. That's our guy. That's our figure skate guy. Zoom in on his face. That's our guy, dude. Dude, he is. Wow. Ilya. Xanadu. Malininen. What? Ilya Malininen. They should have an alternative Olympics, like turning point Olympics. Oh, they do. Don't you think? Yeah. A turning point Olympics? Just Americans only. Yeah. No, like different competitions, like you know, the meth, you know. The meth, you know. The methylene. Yeah, yeah. Who has the best backbend? Who can be on the most amount of fentanyl, touch their toes and wake up? Yeah, stuff like that. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, white trash Olympics. That's what it would be. Yeah. I think we probably have that. Yeah. Oh, redneck Olympics is a, yeah. Running with a carburetor. Yeah. You gotta steal a carburetor and run with it. How many fish can you carry? You're just running up there. What? You guys have that. The hot dogs and the. Hot dog eating competitions? Right. That's not a. What about you guys? You're saying that we're a turning point? No, he's saying that we're dirty Americans. We are dirty Americans. And you're an American too now, pal. Yeah. Yeah, I did. What do the Spanish compete in? What are you guys good at? Soccer. No, not anymore. Not anymore. No, pretty good. We all look good at soccer. Don't give a. They're pretty good. Tennis. Yeah. Who won the last World Cup? Not Spain. Not. It was Argentina. Yeah. When was the last time Spain won a World Cup? 2012. What does that say? 2010. Yeah. Been a long time, pal. And that, by the way, and that was. What is that? Spain's one of eight national teams to have been crowned World Champs. Participated 16 of total. 2010 isn't a long time when you're thinking about if they do it every four years. Four years. 16 years. So every. So it's been how many? How many World Cups? Let's see. 2010? Four. Four. Good. Yeah, yeah. Nice. But you have also a lot of great countries that do it. Think of Brazil, South America. Germany. England, Germany. I mean, there's just so many great. That's good, 2010. I'm backing you up. It's not bad. I don't like it. I can name you really just ballers from Spain. Iniesta, you know him? I do. You don't? Puyol. Do you remember Puyol? Puyol. Yeah, Puyol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very good. Ladies and gentlemen, Puyol. He's a Puyol. Some good ones. The Spanish announcement. Arsenal has some. Do they? Yeah. Yeah. Marino. That sounds Italian. Yeah. When he says it, yeah. Yeah, Marino. Well, how do you spell it in Spanish? Marino. Marino. We have Zubamendi. Is that Spanish? That's Basque. Basque. That's the other. That's the nice side. Wow. Fancy boy side. Wait, wait. So there's Ghetto, Spanish last name? Give me a Ghetto Spanish. I'll give you one. Yeah, Torres. Rosende. That's a Ghetto Spanish last name. Rosende, yeah, yeah. Rosende. Yeah, yeah. That's bottom class. Rosende is bottom class. Bottom class. Write that down. What does Rosende mean? What does it translate to? Praising. Something you don't get around here much. Yes. Let's hear how the computer says it. Rosene. Brother, it's in Danish. Rosene. Yo, so is Garcia. Let me look at. Is Garcia a Ghetto name or upper class, you think? Garcia. It's just so common. Torres. Torres. Upper clover. Common? Common. What about Iniesta? Upper. Very upper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So really, class, you can determine class by last name. Look at you saying yes. Garcia is that. Torres, this dick is a dick butt. Sorry, this dick is a dick butt? It started listening to your conversation. Oh, good. Get us plugged into AI. Yeah. Dude, AI is just on fire right now. I cannot. Some of it. Driving me nuts. Maybe he helped Tom Cruise and. Oh, yeah. What happened? Oh, yeah. Did you say the black-eyed peas and Tom Cruise? Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise fighting. I mean. Is it good? Why, you Instagrammed that to me. Just insane. I saw a clip of Seinfeld where George is kicking, you know what I mean, Jerry, and it looks pretty good. Oh, I saw that into a brick wall? Yeah, it looked pretty good. Oh, that looked amazing. Yeah, it's a Chinese. No, just a message. Whoa. You killed Jeffrey Epstein, you animal! He was a good man! He knew too much about our Russia operations. He had to die, and now you die too. Dude? Dude, dude! It's getting scary, dude. I want to watch that movie. Yeah, yeah. I want to watch that movie too. And let me tell you something. What? Insane. Tom Cruise in this scenario kills Epstein, and Brad's mad. Interesting twist. Yeah. To have Brad be the bad guy. Yeah. and Tom be the ultimate hero once again. Yeah. He killed Epstein. And we know that's not true. He's living right now. I saw Epstein today at Blue Bottle Coffee. I saw him. Dude, I saw him at. Air One, dude. He was there. He went to Hi-Ho. I followed him from Hi-Ho to Air One, dude. Yeah. Yeah, and he just disappeared. Yeah, at Air One, I think he gets the Kylie Jenner smoothie or whatever. He loves it, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one is it? What Jenner is it? Is it Kylie's smoothie? No, it's the other one. No, the other one's Kendall, but I think it is the Kylie Jenner smoothie. Kylie Jenner smoothie. Do they get a piece of that? Of course. I think she probably got a signing, like a deal with them. They probably gave her a couple million just to use her name. Travis Scott has one, too. Travis Scott has a smoothie? My God. There it is. There's her smoothie. Peaches and Cream, 23 bucks. Peaches and Cream. Wow. Know what I mean? Peaches and Cream. Wow. Now, she's with. What's his name? Timothée. Timothée Chalamet. She's a Chalamet-er now. Yeah. That guy, man. Love him. He's batting 1,000, huh? Oh, yeah. Movies, girls, right? His dating roster is amazing. Batting 1,000, this kid. When does it end for him? It doesn't. No, he's forever. Isn't that great? It's great. Good. Yeah, he's Leo. He's Leo. He's Leo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the difference is we don't see him in a baseball hat covering his face all day. He's kind of out in them streets. He wants an Oscar. Oh, once he gets one, you think he'll cover up? Yeah. Hat down. Yeah. Do you think Leo keeps his hat on when he's banging those models? You think he keeps the hat on and the mask on, the COVID mask, and covers up? Headphones. And headphones on while he's doing it? Who's that? Toby. Toby with his girlfriend at. What is this? Who is she? Is she famous? No. It's Sylva. She's a model, obviously. Super Bowl. Oh, that was at the Super Bowl? Mm-hmm. Just new girlfriend. Toby's still doing it, huh? Killing it. Wow. Spider-Man, dude. Yeah, Spider-Man money, dude. Look at that. Spider-Man, Spider-Man, grabbing all the hot models that he can. Yeah, I'll be honest. Have you met him before? Toby? No. Yeah. No, I don't know him. He was a little standoffish when I met him. What happened? Did you try to hug him? No, I walked up. I tried to talk to him. Hold on a minute. Dude. Yeah, yeah. It's a great joke. You got to land your syllables. Yeah. Did you ha-him? Did you ha-him? Hug. Yeah. Can you say G's? Say good gracious. Good gracious. There. Hug. I think it was the way I was approaching it. I was trying to like talk to him. I was like, hey, dude, Spider-Man. Good. Are you good? I get it. I'm on his side. It was that kind of like I was doing. I was doing what you're doing. I couldn't get my words out. Just good, dude. Spider-Man, good. Yeah. Hey, hey, man. Hey. I get it. Have you done that? And he tells his assistant, he's like, what was up with that disabled Chinese boy? Yeah, yeah. I got nervous. I'll tell you who locked me up pretty good. Who? You know when you think someone might know who you are in our business? So you think if they see you, they'll go, hey, man. You know, or a different acknowledgement. You make an assumption. Well, no, no. Just that they think you might not just be a fan, that you're a fan. You're someone who's like a somewhat of a peer. Yeah. I was going to a coffee shop. This is a long time ago. So credit to him. He probably didn't know who I was. But I was going to get a coffee. And Oscar Martinez, Oscar from The Office. Yeah. He's getting out of his car and he's going to the meter to pump the meter. By himself, by the way. So I wouldn't interrupt him if he was with somebody. You know, whatever. And then I'm coming out of the coffee shop and I go, hey, man. And he goes, he turns, he goes, hi. And I go, you're great, man. Just to, you know, I love your work. And he goes, okay. Like, pissed. And I was like, oh. But then I thought for a second he'd be like, are you a comic? Or, you know. That's what you make. You took a risk. It was my fault. Yeah. No, it wasn't your fault. Well, I. That's not your fault. But he could have at least gone, thanks, man. He was kind of like, all right. Like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. And so I threw my coffee on him. No, but it kind of locked me up. I was like, oh, shit. I thought. That's what you treat. I treat everybody as if they're a producer. Not, you don't do that to everybody. No, no. Like, no, a homeless guy would be like. Hey, buddy back to me. I go, man, good to see you. Because you never know, dude. You never know, dude. Because one time I saw Rick Ruman at the comedy store. And people were like, there's a homeless guy in the, you know what I mean? Well. This is before Rick Ruman lost the weight and stuff like that. And he looked disheveled. Yeah. And in my mind, I always thought, oh, it could be anybody. Right. So just, if it's a homeless person, you know what I mean? An albino, Puerto Rican guy with his blind, you know what I mean? You just treat as if they. Produce. You're like, John Leguizamo? What are you doing here, man? Yeah. I treat everyone as if they're like a big time, you know? I mean, I had a moment. I talked about it today earlier. But man, it got me. There was a moving truck outside of the house. It was blocking the driveway. And I had to get out of the driveway. And so I walked out there. It's early in the morning. I was like, hey, brother. Because it's a 18-wheeler truck. It's a huge truck. I was like, hey, man, are you guys going to, like, is there any way for us to get out? Because we're blocked here. And they go. I was like, yeah, in a little bit, and I was like, All right, well, I mean, we gotta get out, man. And then he goes, "I know who you are." And I was like, "Hey, man." And he goes, "I know where you live." - Oh, good note. - Yeah, and I was like, "Right on, dude." And I started to walk inside and then I hear him going, "Oh, the fucking Bobby Mom guy, Bobby." - Yeah. - And then I pulled out and they're just staring at me. But it does feel weird. - It feels weird, yeah. - For him to be like, "I know where you live," was weird as shit. - Yeah, and they do, and they do. - I know, well, if I die next week, that's it. - Yeah, yeah. - Do you ever do this? Today I went, so I was late. No, so I have therapy on Thursdays. It's all the way in Encino, so I know exactly when to leave my house. You have to leave at 3:15 because of the time, okay? It's like, there's traffic. But this time on the 101, there's deadlock, right? And then I looked at my thing and said, "There was an accident." And when I got to the accident, oh my God. - Horrific? - No, it wasn't that horrific. It was like two girls sitting against the curb of the, the freeway and they're just like, you know what I mean? - Lamenting. - Yeah, talking to a cop and they're like this and that. There was another car, right? And I came this close, just rolling down the window and just screaming at them. - Why? - Because they caused all this chaos. - They got into an accident. - I know, that's my point. That's why I didn't roll down the window. - Okay. - I'm a good person. I didn't roll down the window. - You're right. - Yeah, but in a society where a guy's like, "Fucking bitch, I had a fucking four o'clock," you know what I mean? - Most people would go, "Is everyone okay?" Not me, not me, not me, not me. - No. - I'm late! - You don't feel resentful? - No, what are you gonna do? - Oh, no one in the room. - Namaste, dawg. - Thank you, Carlos. - I'm a big road rage guy. - Yeah, I'm a road rage guy. - And that's why your car is dented to shit. - Yeah. - You're Mr. Drive too fast and wild. - You don't have road rage. - Honestly, when I get in the car, I reserve. It's over. The car, it's over. I can do nothing about it. - Oh my God, this guy, he's, namaste. - No, only in the car. Because what I, we've lived here for, so long, it's not a surprise. I never get on the freeway and go, "What? "What the heck is all this?" - How's you? - I know what's coming. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I've never once gotten into a bumper to bumper on the 405 and been like, "This is just unreal." It's every fucking day. Everywhere you go in LA, there's a line and there's traffic. It's, I don't care, I'm over it. You know what I do to skip the lines? - What? - I go to a place that's shittier. I just, I'll go to the place that got a B. I'll just go to the place that got a B or a C. There's coffee shops on every corner. Just go to the shittier one. - Oh, no, no, no, no, I disagree. - You want to go to the good one. - Yeah, I go to the good one. At an Alfred's, right? I will park in a red. - No. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, I do a legal thing. I run red lights. - Well, I do that. - Oh, you do? - Well, because those are suggestions. - Oh, they are? - Yeah, red light is kinda like, "Hey, you gonna stop?" And you're like, "Nah, I'll get through it." I think you should be able to run red lights and the green should be delayed on the other side. - Steven Pearl, an old comic, had a song that he used to sing and made me laugh, but whenever I say it, no one ever laughs. - Give it. - He goes, ♪ A stop sign ain't nothing but an octagon ♪ ♪ An octagon ain't gonna tell me what to do ♪ - Factor, cold days, big goals, no time to cook. Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs. So eat well without the planning or cooking. - This is the best part, man. I love Factor. You just grab it, heat it up, eat it up, baby. Quality, fun ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats. No refined sugars, none of that junk, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. These are meals that are gonna fit your goals and your schedule. This is the best thing about us. We're running around all the time. We're in the studio, we're at home, we're on the move, we're on the road. Factor makes it so easy. You just grab one, you heat it up and eat it. It's always fresh, it's never frozen. It's ready in two minutes. - I love it. - I like options. - You do. - 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through the winter. Options include high protein, calorie smart, Mediterranean diet, GLP-1 support, and ready to eat salads. - So good, man. You gotta head to factormeals.com/badfriends50off and use code BADFRIENDS50OFF to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. - Eat like a pro this month with Factor. - New subscribers only, varies by plan, one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. - Talkspace. - Today, at four, I had my therapy session. Without it, I don't know, I'd just be very depressed. - I like it so much, man. - Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can't access anytime, Andrew, and anywhere, my friend. - Well, the best part is I do it from the comfort of my home. I didn't, I used to not really like going to a place. Sometimes it's hard, or sometimes you're busy. You have kids, you have jobs, you have so much responsibility. It's easy to do it from the comfort of your house, of your car, of wherever you are, on your lunch break even. And unlike, - Right. - other telehealth companies, psychiatry is available through Talkspace so you can get the medication that you need to supplement your talk therapy if needed. Talkspace makes getting help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a $0 copay. Let me tell you, it helps us get through the day. And I'm telling you, as a listener to this podcast, if you want someone to talk to, why not try Talkspace? You'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/badfriends and enter the promo code SPACE80. - That's SPACE80, S-P-A-C-E 80 to match with a licensed therapist to help you out today. Go to Talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80. - Shopify. - We have an online business here at Bad Friends and we would not be able to do it without Shopify. We like really, we like efficient. - Yeah, we do. - Yeah, I mean, efficiency. - Efficiency is great. 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How do they get it? - It's time to turn those what ifs into - Cha-ching. - What ifs into what we're doing with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/badfriends. - Go to shopify.com/badfriends. That is shopify.com/badfriends. - That always made me laugh. - Who did that? - I know. - He's a comic named Steven Pearl. - An octagon ain't gonna tell me what to do. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, he died in a car accident, I'm quite sure. - He did, yeah, yeah. Steven Pearl. Dude, this dude was so funny back in the day when I was young. - There he was with Robin. - Yeah. He grew up with Robin at the zoo back in San Francisco. - Oh, really? - Yeah, back in the day, yeah. - Wow. - And when I was a young guy, you know what I mean? He used to headline the La Jolla comics when I was a doorman down there and he used to open with that song. - Oh, would it kill? - Yeah, in a silly way. Like, that's the silliest thing I've ever, you know. - But he's right. - Yeah. - It's a suggestion. - It's a suggestion. - He's right. - Yeah, ain't gonna tell me what to do. - I do, parking in the red is good. McCone did that the other day. Parked all day in the red, didn't get a ticket. I was shocked. - Yeah. - I do everything here. - I do it all the time, yeah. - In the valley, yeah, you can't do that over the hill. You play that game in the city, you're gonna get one. Not over here, pal. But no, I don't wait in these lines. Like, there's a line, there's a place called Community Goods. Hot spot coffee shop. And they have a line down the block every single day. Look at that. - Is that Community Goods? - The picture of the business is a line. If that's not a deterrent, I don't know what is. - So you've never been to Community Goods? - And I will never go. - Yeah, yeah. - Is there coffee there? - Yeah. - There's coffee all over the fucking place. - Yeah, food, yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's the coffee. - It's coffee and it's breakfast, right? There's no chance it's better than every other fucking place. - There's a place in Los Feliz like that that you wait in line and you go in and it's just packed. I don't know what it's called. It's much like Community. - All Time? - Probably that. - All Time? - Yeah. Every time I'm on a Raya date, they wanna meet there. And I just go, fuck! - There's valet though. - Oh, there is? - Valet at a coffee shop? - Yeah. - But it's not coffee. It's food. All kinds of stuff. - Oh, it's actual meat. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay, that's fine. - Yeah, and all these cool people are there. I hate cool people, don't you? I'm done with it. You're one of them. Fuck off. - No! - You live in the cool people area. - I know, but I'm like one of you guys. - No, you're not. You're not one of us. - Yeah, I am. - No, we don't accept you. - We don't claim you. - No. - You're not a part of our club. - It's like Predator. Badlands. - Yeah, Predator, Badlands. - We gotta see Predator, Badlands before next episode so we can discuss this, because everyone's talking about it. - It's been, I saw it in the theater. It's been out for months and months and months. What are you talking about? - I haven't seen it. - I've been telling you to watch it. - It's really good. - It's in the theater now? - No. - No. - Hulu now. - It's on Hulu? - And Disney Plus, yeah. - Even better, I'll watch it at home. Who's in it? - Fanning. - Yeah, Fanning. - Elle. - Dakota Fanning? - Elle. - Elle, great. - Yeah. - Fan of the Fannings, fan of the show. - I love Fannings. Big Fanning fan. - Big Fanning fan. - I'm a Fanning fan for life. - And who's on the cover? That's her. - Yeah, that's her. - Oh, well, I mean, that doesn't look like her. Why do they do that? - Well, she's an android. - Yeah. - Yeah, but in the movie, she looks like her, but in the poster, it doesn't look like her at all. I couldn't tell you. And who is the predator? - Oh, yeah, that. - Oh, so Demetrius Schuster Kolomagati. - Yeah. - Whoa. - Ah, we gotta pick a different last name, bud. - Yeah. - Demetrius Schuster Kola, wait, sorry, go back, so I can see his name. Koloa Matangi, Koloa Matangi. God, that's hard to say. - Do you ever do that? Like a comic will have a really difficult last name that's young. - Yeah. - And I don't do this anymore because it's wrong. Like, I feel bad for even, but it's just like- - No, it's great. - Hey, let me change the last name. last name what do you mean well your name is dimitri malangango just change it to what you mean steve smith steve smith right or no they said that to leonardo dicaprio and benicio del toro those are easy things to say dicaprio is one of the easiest things to say leonardo was one was leonardo da vinci everybody that's our familiar name and dicaprio is not anything insane yeah but then once zach came along i was like oh it's fine yeah yeah but imagine how long it took a lot yeah but even back when we when i saw met open mics in the 90s i would never was i didn't even bother you know i mean i just called him zach like if i was bringing on a guy with a name like zach oh my god it's nightmare i would just literally go ladies and gentlemen this next time you're gonna love it it's zach g i would just do that i can't if i do well because i would butcher it to be worse if i didn't butcher it yeah yeah fuck it i'll just say zach g i do that still even friends of mine i i can't say it right ester p ester yeah ester p i do right you know another one is christina p right well yeah you can't say her last name i can't say it i know i've never said it right ever but she goes by christina p sometime yeah i i say yeah my doctor my psychiatrist is under look i just texted him today dr mike it's impossible to say his last name so when i first met him i was like hey can i just call you dr mike yeah and he was like yeah because it's like what i said that because a woman that was working for us a woman that was working for us her last name was so unbelievable it's it was literally like what a scenario yes at some point i just like it's not i'm not even gonna say here yeah it's i can't even there should have been a rule back in the beginning of time where a last name can only be five letters that's really good yeah don't you think that's really good yeah yeah look at these five letters like a bengali surname yeah yeah yeah but well you know what these are easier because you just mumble it you'd go mateo if you said it close no no and also they know that their their last names are complex so they let it go usually if it's like super long yeah i mean like you know they're not gonna go hey it's they're not gonna say that they correct you yeah it's yeah so you don't you don't say it's you don't say that way you know it's like dude it's like i can't i'm sure i can't do it it's not part of it's not a part of my vocabulary i can't do it wow yeah first names keep it simple too i think keep it easy keep it easy dude you know take it easy keep it easy uh you have a very easy name bobby andrew yeah santino lee yeah santino lee yeah yeah carlos now herrera herrera a little tough herrera yeah herrera you know what i also don't like when you have a spanish name and you see someone like megan kelly or something super pronounced the double r and does the role i don't like that she goes and let me tell you something about carlos herrera i don't like it especially when she's like angry about it yeah and here is this bad bunny he's got his whole crew of mexicans yeah yeah dancing behind him yeah he's got carlos and lopez it's crazy it's crazy yeah to just like dip in and dip out i don't like it yeah yeah she they all normal but newscasters do that it drives me nuts yeah yeah yeah you know i talked on stage last night about latinx i tried some new shit about latinx remember they tried latinx and i asked a mexican guy in the front row i go hey bro do you what's up with latinx he's like no we wouldn't fuck him with it i was like so whites just tried to like shoehorn that in he was like yeah no i was i don't know i said did any latinos you know fuck with it he's like no what the fuck no but it's fun why we tried to do it white tried to do it it wasn't the wokey i know but but it was so nobody asked for it to change carlos did you ask for it fuck no i feel like you asked for it i was pitching a tv show during that time and there was a hispanic character and they made me put latinx in and like everyone gave me shit about it including my own but it's like so but what about saying someone's latin is offensive um give me a learning lesson is it offensive no i don't think so i mean well you're fucking latin yeah i mean technically i was pushing for asian z yeah and it doesn't catch on at all wait calling someone latin is generally not considered an offensive slur while not inherently racist is less it is less precise than using inappropriate terms like latino latina hispanic i know but it's an encompassing thing yeah exactly so because of the latino latina they decided for latin x so they didn't have to do gender but you can say latin and it would encompass both right right so this doesn't make any sense like i'm a pale white i don't need that no yeah pale white no we got categorized i got no oh no right i'm a pale white but i don't i'm just a white at the end of the day yeah i'm just a white yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're pale white i mean normal white yeah normal normal white yeah thank god normal hair color yeah come on everybody yeah come on yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm a nice guy yeah yeah yeah i like this bit what we don't need it what we just don't need the extra bullshit too much extra shit too much extra shit like i'm searching for a new doctor on the website on like the insurance website dude i mean it's all i want to know is what do you do and they give way too much extra shit like too much information stuff that they do like the first tab was gender affirming care yeah i was like what about internal medicine i just want to know if you'll find out if i'm fucking sick yeah like do the scan dude i'm gonna do the scan when you do the scan i want to do the scan well let's go together i'm being real though i really big because i know i don't know if japan's being real july but can i tell we scan but i want i want japan and scan to be real japan is real okay why are you bringing up beautiful women on the internet that's what you told you showed me when we talk about japan the worst person you know is planning their japan 2026 trip it is true why why is that even she's saying because there's a trend of japan right now people want to go to japan yeah there's two trends on the internet that are big one is people think they're this is japan year and two people think they're chinese they're turning chinese do you know about this i send it to andrea jin all the time because there's stuff that says you make me chinese there's like memes now okay that that whites think they're turning chinese you think i'm kidding it's all over the internet like i'm becoming chinese is a real thing and i when i want to say this to all of our fans and friends out there i'll be korean before i'll be chinese thank you thank you so much thank you means the world to me it means the world to me that i'm what i'd be i'd rather be a normal white then be chinese as well what are you looking at nothing your little sweet prints on your phone aren't you yeah you know i too much i think yeah it's too much scrolling for your hours this week what i mean doom scroll can i look yeah that was like 12 hours i think it's because of the lexa pro i think it's a lot what do i google again i'm not google but i'm at 11 hours today my average is seven hours a day six and a half not bad seriously daily average mine says seven hours yeah it's bad right what's yours mine's only a five and a half this week what's yours seven mine's seven too yeah seven seems normal yeah yeah right seven hours a day is crazy wait why because you're constantly looking here for seven hours of it it's insane well i mean what's what's the usual average four hours oh no well caveman had none you know that's problematic phone usage exceeding five yeah for high risk for mental health issues depression anxiety reduced productivity here's good news got them all already oh you already have yeah so when you're when you already have anxiety and depression yeah yeah so big deal yeah also reduced productivity i don't believe that at all we're the most productive team i've ever met in my entire life all of us are on our phone all the time but anxiety and depression for sure for sure but i didn't build these machines they were given to us yes we are a subject of the machine you want to blame someone blame musk he didn't have anything to do no he didn't know what blame jobs jobs yeah he's gone steve jobs that's right i was thinking about like the jobs i've had in the past so many bad yeah you know i mean like my coffee shop got job here you go here's the phone you could blame some of those you could blame some of your current issues on some of those past jobs yeah but it's not worth it yeah you know yeah i i begin to think that it's probably not healthy i'm beginning to think the phone's not healthy every time i look i should be reading a book but i can't be shook i'll get back on the gram yeah is this healthy just sitting there and doing nothing yeah just sitting there and just i'm being real i've been trying it being yeah just i sometimes i'll wake up i'll sit down i have a little chair a comfy chair it is a little little chair it's a little tiny chair yeah i mean it's very comfortable though and i'll sit there for like half an hour and do nothing no that's very good for you yeah very good it's collecting yourself but you know here's the deal but then tragedies occur in my mind give me one like just like you know 9-11 or when my dad used to beat me like just Crazy things. - You went from 9/11 to my dad used to be, that's still going through your head? - Sometimes. - I guess you never forgot. - You never forget, yeah. - 12 years in retreat. We need to do something like this, a Buddhist retreat. - The longest meditations. - So Jet Sun Ma, a Tibetan Buddhist, spent 12 years in meditation retreat in cave in northern India. Similarly, extreme training in some Hindu traditions involved 12 years in a hermitage. - Jet Li did that. - Yeah. - And I go, where's Jet Li been? He's been meditating since the last movie, I think. Dude, that's what he said. I was meditating for the last 15 years. - Wow. - That's what he said. Now I'm back. Like back for what? You're fucking a thousand years old now. No one wants to see you. - It's believed in some Buddhist traditions that the Buddha himself meditated for 49 days under the Bodhi tree. 49, you couldn't get to 50, huh? - Mm-mm. - Just couldn't knock out one day to round off the number. Yeah, I mean, that seems pretty weak. - It's weak, dude. - Decades in a lifetime. Tukdam. Some Tibetan monks are said to enter a state of tukdam, a dead-but-not-dead state of deep meditation where the body does not decay for weeks after clinical death. They're doing what you do in the tiny chair. - Yeah, I tukdam in the chair. - Tukdam in the chair. I'll be tukdam-ing. Oh, so that guy's tukdam right now? - Mm-hmm. - Oh. Zoom in, yeah. - Gotta give me a picture of a tukdam. - I think that might be post-tukdam. - You tukdam with your eyes open. That's better, I think. - I'm hoping we tukdas-dam off the screen at some point. - Yeah. - I mean, this is crazy. And by the way, we're not insulting these people. This is brilliant, and amazing, and beautiful. It just, I mean, he looks uncomfortable. He does not look, he doesn't look comfortable. - That chair doesn't look Tempur-Pedic. - No. Yeah. - Hey, imagine how bad your ass would hurt. Oh, go to that picture on the left of it, of the one you have on right now, just the left. This is mummified in tukdam. - Wow. - Mummified monk. - Can you zoom in? - The Buddhists claim this guy's in tukdam, but-- - Still? - Yeah, yeah. - Well, they think he's not dead still. - Yeah, they claim that. - They're collecting his social security. That's why. No, he's still getting the payments. He's alive. He's just in tukdam right now. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Should they get just cash and government checks? No, no, no. He's in there. He's there. - Hims. - Hair, dude. - Gotta have hair. - You gotta have hair. - So much hair, man. - If you don't, you know what I mean? No offense, Carlos. When-- - It happens. - Yeah, it happens, dude. - But Hims, thank God, what do they do? 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I did it one time with that Vince Vaughn sketch I did like five years ago for Bill Burr, and I don't know if it's real, you know what I mean? So it's like, how do you play a drunk guy? Because there's ways to do it that's like so sketchy that it doesn't feel real. How do you play it? - I think if you're an actual alcoholic and you're drunk, you wouldn't know the difference, so you should just be kind of like lethargic and normal. You would just be lower energy. - Yeah. - Like let's do-- - The trick is to pretend not to be drunk, which is what drunks do. - Right, so here you go, ready? - Yeah, tell me. - Yeah. - What's your name in the thing? Chang? Chang. - Jimmy. - Jimmy O. Chang? - Just Jimmy. - Jimmy, what's been going on at the shop today? - Hey, man. - No, no. - Already too much? - No. - What do you mean? - You're acting. - All right, ask me again. - What's been going on in the shop today, Jimmy? - I didn't come into the shop today, man. - Why didn't you go into the shop? - I just, you know, I don't work every day, man. - You don't work every day? We pay you to be here every day. - Ah, my bad. I, you know, didn't, I woke up late, you know, I woke up late and I, yeah, it's my bad, man. - Yeah, it's good. - Is it bad or no? - It's bad. - Oh, then you do it. - Okay, go ahead. - Okay. Hey, Jimmy, why didn't you come into work today? - I don't know, man. I don't need to, you leave me alone. - See, that's good. But you're acting drunk. - No. - You're not? - I'm acting disinterested and over it. You have to pick, pick, here's what we have to do with you. - Do it again. - Jimmy, Jim, did you come into the, did you go into the shop today? - Yeah, man, I was there. I went in, I came in, man. - Did any customers? You're doing a little San Diego. - I am? - No man or dude or bro. Just give me. - Oh, no man, okay. - Yeah. - What's going on? Why didn't you go to the shop today, Jim? - I came into the shop, man. Man again. - We got it. - No, I don't think we got it. - No, we got it, hold on. - Yeah. - You came into the, so did you not see any customers today? - Of course I saw customers. I mean, that's what I do. - You saw customers? - Yeah, man. I'm sorry. - How many customers did you see today? - I don't know, Frank O'Neill came in. Mr. O'Neill came by. He's been dead for 13 years. - Frank, what? - Frank O'Neill, who owns O'Neill's Brakes. - Yeah, but you know, his wife, Lucila? - Yeah, Lucia. Jimmy, what's going on? - What do you mean? I'm fine, dude. - I didn't ask if you want. - I'm sorry, Larry. I'm fine, I'm fine, Larry. - I need to talk to you in my office. - All right, okay. What's going on? Have you been drinking on the job? - I had a drink. - What did you have? - I had a little drink. - What did you have to drink? - A beer. - How many beers? - One beer, dude. - How big was the beer? - Sorry for saying dude again. Sorry, guys. - How big was the beer, Jimmy? Who were you talking to? How big was the beer? - What? - It was a beer. You know, how big do beers get? - That's good. That's very good. - Yeah, yeah. - How big do beers get is great. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - That's actually- - We'll just play with it when we're there. - But I like that. - Oh, yeah. - Because then it's not playing drunk, you're playing disinterested. - I'm playing disinterested. - And I like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think disinterest is what an alcoholic- - 'Cause when you watch it, you're like, they're playing drunk. I don't like that. - Yeah, I don't like when they play drunk. - How do you do it? How do you do math? That's another one. How do you do, let's do it. - Well, I've told you, I told you a long time ago. - What do you mean? - Can I tell you something right now? - We go to the same guy. told him this morning, I'm not doing that anymore. And leave me the gazebo that you built. I don't feel like it. It was made out of wood and the woods I only use for the bridge. And that's fine, because I'll lick it and I'm not going to swallow it ever again. And Luisa, Luisa never came home. Ooh, but I want a hot dog. I'm hungry. Yeah, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you made last night. Let's get one. Let's get one right now. Yeah, let's eat it. That's pretty good. What do you think? That's good? Alright, let's do, um. Let's do it all again. Let's do acid. Let's do fentanyl. Fentanyl. I don't know how to do fentanyl. One, two, three. So mean. What was it called? So mean. What was the Buddhist thing called? Yeah, yeah. Tukwem. Tukwem. Tukwem. Yeah. We just Tukwem'd it. I think you're going to play a great role. I think you shouldn't be. Well, they'll give me notes, you know what I mean? But that's the only thing that I'm a little nervous about because it's like. Well, have you read the scripts? Mm-hmm. So you know. You're ahead of the game. I'm ahead of the game. Yeah, yeah. I haven't memorized the lines yet, but it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Yeah. Be real. Have you ever memorized lines? Yeah, of course I've memorized lines. For all the things I've done, I've memorized lines. Okay. Oh, you think when I'm on, like, Sex and the City where I'm just making it up? No, they're like, you have to say it word for word. So they wrote those things that you said? Yeah, yeah. I memorized them days before. That's what I'm saying. You do days? Yeah. I don't do that, yeah. You do it on spot? I do it the morning of. I don't know how that's possible. Yeah, I get in the trailer and I just do it. Yeah, you know, John Cho does that. I saw him do that once. I'll read it. Yeah. I'll read it before, and then I'll memorize the sides that day. Yeah, I have to do it the night before. Because if I ingest it prior to that, I don't, it gets too scrambled eggs in my mind. So if I read it, I understand what the scene is. And then in my trailer or whatever, I'll just I'll get the lines then. Yeah. And take by take. If it's a huge piece, like if it was like a thing we did sometimes on I'm Dying Up Here, I'd have like a page and a half. Yeah. Of a monologue. Days before. No. No, no. The night before, I just do chunks. I divide it into chunks, and I use a keyword to continue on my next chunk. Wow. And that keyword indicates what the next piece is. So I just kind of like, I don't like how you divide up an hour. You're like 15, 15, 15, 15. Do you forget when you're there? All the time. Yeah, yeah. It's okay. They gotta be patient. We're gonna edit this. It's not fucking live. This is Birdman. Yeah. Like I couldn't, if they were like, we're gonna do it in one take, I'd be like, fire me. Fire me right now. Oh, right, right, right. I could never, fire me right now. Yeah. Shoot me on, shoot me. Let me die in the scene. Yeah. And also, it's like you, sometimes I need another actor there to calm me down. I remember Oliver Hudson, the pilot for Splitting Up Together, he had to pull me aside and go, you're all in your head. It doesn't matter. Just say your line. And then it was fine. Yeah. What a nice thing for him to do. Yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know, you're allowed to make mistakes. Say your line. Everything's fine. I want to say something, obviously, now that we're in the world of speaking about actors. This will be long after, but rest in peace to the great James Van Der Beek. Oh my God. I can't, you know, I can't even, you know what I hate? Rest in peace. I knew, I worked on them before. I know. Yeah, and what a nice guy. He did Tiger Belly as a, just, you know, what a nice guy. You didn't post a memorial picture. I didn't post anything because of the fact that I'm just, it bothers me. A lot that people do it. When they, you know, they have, I have photos with him. You know, that could go, you know, rest in peace, brother. And, you know, and I, there's, I asked around, I go, why don't I not want to post it? Because when I see it, it bothers me. Right, well. Hollywood does that. Well, it's a little performative, right? It's performative. Sometimes. I mean, look, it's a way to cope. So for some people, they want to put the picture up because it means something to them. They want to say I had a relationship with this person I really loved. But for some people, it's a little performative. Like for some people, it's like you could go up to them after you saw them take that, put that post. Later that night, you'd run into them and be like, hey man, I'm really sorry about your friend James. They'd be like, James, what do you mean? Yeah. And you're like, Vanderbeek. And they go, oh, yes. Yeah, but what a bummer. You know, like some people you can tell it's baloney. And some people, it's very real. But you, but I get what you're saying. It's hard to post. He's just, he was an authentically nice person. Yeah. He really was. Super easy to be with. Very helpful on set. And, you know, it wasn't like super close to him. You know, we did a series together and then we would hang out a little bit after that before when he lived here in LA. Yeah. And like I said, we pondered together, but you know, what a loss. And it's just super sad. Yeah. It's a bummer. It's a real bummer. The good ones go. Because some people that are fucking fucktwads are still alive, you know. Let's name it. We'll put up a list. I'm not going to put a list. Everyone knows what I'm talking about, but it's like, yeah, there are people that, yeah, so it's like, I don't know. What does it mean? Life is precious. Life is short. We should get screened. He did talk about that. So we'll do the body screening. Because he talked about it because he got diagnosed quite young. What is he, 46 or something? I don't know. I mean. Yeah. 48, I think. I mean, that's a terribly young death. You know? The children. He has so many children. They're just going to be robbed of, you know. He had a lot of kids. Yeah. He did. They're at almost 2 million on their GoFundMe. What do you mean? The Vanderbeek family has a GoFundMe. And they're almost at 2 million. Oh, wow. Send me the GoFundMe. I will. I don't want to make anything that would be misconstrued here, but how much are you going to give? Oh, you want to be real? You brought it up. Yeah. We've done this before. You want my honest, you know. Well, yeah. Yeah. If you really want him to send it to you. Probably a grand. A thousand American dollars. Yeah. So they wanted 1.5 and they got 2 million already and I hope they get as much. Oh, they already exceeded it? Yeah, but I hope they. Nothing. Oh, so now you're not going to give anything? No. She wants some. A grand. I think the family deserves as much as they can for losing someone. Are you going to contribute? Dude. Someone gave $30,000. Wow. Anonymously. Who's anonymous? Anonymously, they gave $30,000. You know, you would. What? Never. Nope. I'll do it right now anonymously. 30 grand. No, not 30 grand. Not 30 grand, but I will. The point I was making, if you gave 30 grand, you want people to know. You either then. You either, pal. That's rude that you wouldn't even say something like that. You'd want people to know. If I had 30 grand to give, I would do it anonymously. Don't raise your voice and you have 30 grand to give and you could do it, but you, but you would put your name up there. The Dow. What the hell is that? What do you mean? Anyway, um. Raise your hand if you agree he'd put his name up there. Go ahead. See? Yeah. You would. You know you would. And here's why. You're giving the money. It's not, it's not bad, but you'd go, hey. I'll tell you why I wouldn't. You see what I mean? Can I, can I, can I, um. Sure. You know. Fight your case? Fight my case. Yeah. Okay. You're not going to, I'm going to bring it back to Stardew Valley, okay? As everything does. Everything. Life always does. Yeah. Okay. It should. So in Stardew Valley, there is a character named Pam. Love Pam. We have a crush on Pam, right? Yeah. And he has a daughter named Penny. Okay. Pam is a guy. I thought that was a girl. It's a woman. Right. Well, you said he has a daughter named Penny. She, she, she. Got it. And she, she drives the truck. Okay. You know, go back to Pam. Yeah. Penny saw it. Pam could be both. You know, Pam is pretty. Okay. So. Who knows what. Who knows what that is. That I can see by the photo. Okay. So they live in a trailer, right? They're at. Yeah. You know, what is this with trailers and redheads? They, we all grow up in trailers. Yeah. Yeah. We do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, because they have red hair and I love you. Yes. So, you know, I, so there is some, in the game, you can get rid of the trailer and build them a brand new house. Wow. Right. And you don't get any points for, don't do that with Penny. Don't do that with Penny. Okay. You don't get any points for building them a house. Yeah. But there is a little dialogue thing where, okay. Okay. Somebody said. Don't get me hard, David. All right. Is that Penny born? Yeah. It's Penny born. Yeah. Yeah. That's not. Because she is somebody that I do marry in the game. So you're in love with Penny. I love Penny. And that just got me like, you know what I mean? Anyway. Dude, don't get me started with Penny. Wow. Oh, wow. Interesting. Anyway. Interesting. All right. Can we move on from it? That's in your little chair at your reflection time. She'll make you a cock dumb or whatever. So anyway, there's a thing in it where the carpenter goes to you, Robin. She goes, should I tell him that you gave him all this money to build it? Or should we just, I mean, just keep it anonymous. And I always choose anonymous because it's like, but you don't get any perks either way. It's like, what does it matter? What does it matter? But I always choose anonymous. So you think. Yes, I do. Because- Stardew Valley Penny. I'm sold. Yeah. I'm sold on your- Because ethically, I'm just like that. Yeah. Last year when I sent out my Special Olympics thing, Andrew dunked two grand anonymously. Yeah. And you didn't respond to the message. Yeah. Because I don't respond to anything you send. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not a good case. Yeah. True. The only reason you knew it was me is because I gave a jokey name. Yeah. as Gary or whatever. - Yeah, and I would have done the same thing. - Only you know that. - Sneaky Nakamara, okay? - If you're coming up again, I'll send you another. - Yeah, I'll say whatever. - Sneaky Nakamara is so funny. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - If your nickname would be Sneaky Nakamara. - Yeah, I'll do Sneaky Nakamara, but my point is this, I would do it anonymously. So I think you're wrong. - Okay. - Yeah, that's my defense. - It's fine. I'm excited to see your name up there on the GoFundMe. - Yeah. - And you know, I will say this. I'm glad we never said anything about James on the show prior because people blame us all the time that when we talk about a celebrity, they pass away. - We already did it, right? - Catherine O'Hara, I know, we did that. We spoke about her and then weeks later, she died. - No, that's not true. - It is. - It is true. We've done it so many times on this show and people bring it up, I guess. The guy said, we've done it. There's people that track how many times we've talked about people for some reason. - Let's do an experiment right now. We'll throw out a name and just see. - Willie Nelson's still alive. - Yeah. - William Shatner, also alive, 94. - William Shatner's a good one. - Clint Eastwood, that's a good one. If I was gonna do a death poll. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, I don't wish death on any of these people, but once you reach 90, don't you feel like you did it? You really did it, you lived a full, imagine if you got to 90 and you're like, I just don't know if I've lived a full life. - Yeah. - 90? - You did it. - 95, who's the oldest up there? Lee Grant, an actress, turned 100 in 2026. Oh, 101 is Eva Marie Saint. - Yeah, she's the girl in "North by Northwest." - Oh my God, and she won an Academy Award for "North by Northwest," right, yeah? - Mm. - She's 101, but she lives, what does it say, so sad? Well, everyone she knows is dead. You know, that's something that my grandmother used to say. She's like, "All my friends are dead." You live to 90, all your friends are gone. - That's so sad. - Well, and who can they talk to? - Yeah. - Like, imagine your grandma, imagine a 97-year-old woman now. - Yeah. - Going, "What is going on?" And everyone around her is like, "Six, seven, bitch." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, fuck, I'd wanna be outta here. - Yeah. - Like, if that's the world, everyone's vaping. - Yeah. - Yeah, but when I'm old, I'm gonna talk to Neroi. - Sorry? - Neroi. - Who's that? - He's my robot. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah, your little robot. - Yeah, hello, I'm Neroi. Hello, Neroi. What's going on today? - Can you stop jerking off, Bobby? I have to watch this all of the day. - Yeah, but wouldn't I have an AI robot that talks to me all day? - You will. - You're gonna get it. It's doing backflips now, this fucking weirdo thing from robotics from Boston Dynamics. They can literally, they just did a complete what do you call that in gymnastics when they do the turnover, there it is. - Yeah. - There it was, it just did it. - Crazy, yeah. - There it is, doing a fucking backflip. Look at this. - Yeah. - And it's in slow motion. - That's incredible. - Look at this. - Boston Dynamics, he said? - Yeah, look at, watch this. Ba-na-na-na-na, end of society. - Right, awesome. - That's the end of society. - Yeah. - If it can backflip, it can fuck us up. - It can, yeah. - It's gonna learn to beat our ass. Is this the one where it fell? There's one where it falls. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's what you get. - Yeah. - Thinking you're like us. Running on ice? Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. - Yeah. - Pause it. - It's two years away for perfection. - Dude, how funny. Imagine he goes back with the other robots when they're like, you know, they're down at night. - Yeah. - And they're like, "We saw you fall." - Yeah, yeah. - And he's like, "No, you didn't." He's like, "Yes, we did. "You ate shit. "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. "You suck. "You suck. "You suck. "They're going to take you apart tomorrow." You know they're gonna be so aware. So they're gonna reach awareness where they know. - What if it was falling on purpose to give us a false sense of security? - Oof, now you're really, now, dude, now you're digging in. - You're digging it. - You think they were falling on purpose to trick humans into thinking they're still flawed, but they have the technology. They already know. - They know. - Gosh. - Yeah. - You're right. - I can't wait. - They have fingers. - What do you want those for? - When I'm signed. - Oh. - Yeah, I mean, just fingers. - Gang robots. - Yeah, I mean, Illuminati. - They're like, "Let's have blood. "Let's have blood." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I used to grow mushrooms with my buddy in a Tupperware underneath his bed. We inoculated the spores and all that stuff. - Is it the hallucination? - Yeah, the magic mushroom. No, imagine we just were doing shiitake. Nah. - Yeah. - Just good old woodier mushrooms. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, no, we were doing, we grew mushrooms under his bed. It was kind of, it was amazing. We ordered the spores offline. - Wow. - It was back, like new internet. You know, where you like dig to like find out the web where you could buy illegal drugs and we inoculated the spores. - How long did it take you to grow it? - I don't, my frame of reference would be bad. So a couple of weeks to a month or so. I don't really remember. - Did it work? - Yeah, they weren't that strong. I remember drying them out and they just weren't that good. - Ah. - And we were probably already smoking weed and drinking. So you're like, "Maybe they are working." Who knew? I don't know if they ever worked. - Yeah, yeah. - But I did mushrooms one time with my buddy, Tyler. We went to a haunted house and that was one of the just insanely stupid things to go to a haunted house tripping balls. - Yeah. - It's not fun. You want to like be relaxed when you're on mushrooms. - I like going to a mall. - On drugs, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Well, no more for you. Never again, we'll never do that. - Yeah, maybe. - No, Bobby. - Who knows? - Robert? - Yeah. - You know, it's funny because I never wanted to go in public spaces when I was on drugs. That was so stupid. I never wanted to do that. - What's that, dude? - They have like psychedelic simulators on-- - For guys that are sitting at home tripped out, they want to look at stuff on-- - Oh, let me see. Let me see one. - This is like if you're like sober, what it would be like to do mushrooms. That is so realistic. - Oh wow, that is, wow. - I think spiral and stuff. - Yeah. - Yeah, the movement of things is always what got me. That's why it was hard to go places. - This is what it's like for me every day. - I'm thinking about, we're thinking about getting another dog. - That's fantastic. - And let me tell you why. - Why? - She found a dog that is not in good shape, that has not a lot of years left. - No, get a new one. - No, no, but listen, but she said-- - No. - Get a brand new one. - She said, wouldn't you rather help this dog and have its last few years be amazing other than sitting in a whatever, you know, in a shelter or whatever. - Can I have an argument against it? - Yeah. - Okay. So we did that. We have one named Remy. - Yeah. - Who I love, like I love all my animals. - Okay, so you sold me on that, I'm in. - All right. - I've had four years with Remy, right? Where I could have had 15, 16 years with Remy. - I thought you were gonna be like, I thought he'd be dead by now. - Yeah, and a year ago, the vet was like, you should really think about putting him down and we can't do it. - No, let life do it. - Yeah, yeah. But Remy is like, like he's, dude, blind, spine twisted, like just fucked, you know? - Right. - So hard. - But how, imagine how much better Remy's life is with you than it would be anywhere else. - I know, we do give him a great laugh. - See? - I give him nice treats, everything. - Think about that. Think about it. - All right, maybe get one. - Thank you. - Well, give me the argument of why. - You just gave it to me. - I just, oh, I did, okay. - Yeah, because you love it and it's amazing and it's better off there than it is some fucking stupid shelter. - We did save him. - 'Cause the shelters suck ass. They're not fun. They don't have, they're amazing. - They were gonna kill Remy, by the way. - By the way, the shelter for dogs is a retirement home for adults, a hospice. And you're just locked in a room, fuck that. - Yeah. - I wanna die at my house. I wanna die free. - Yeah, do it, do it. - Right, don't you wanna die in your own volition instead of in a hospital? - But let's, your current dogs, see if they get along. - Yeah, you have to introduce them. - Yeah, but what if they don't get along? - Then you just keep one in one room and keep one in the other. - I don't know, I don't think so. - I don't know, that's hard. - Yeah, it's hard. - But it's a risk you're willing to take. - Yeah. - If they don't get along, then the new dog, you put it outside, you open the door and you say, we'll see you when we see you. - Yeah. - Good luck out there. - Yeah, there are coyotes, your friend's coyotes out there. - No, I think we gotta give it a whirl because it's worth the-- - Where are you gonna go? Humanities Society? - Where are we gonna get it? - Yeah. - Yeah, there's a shelter up in the valley, in the North Valley. - Do you ever go just randomly? - I'll tell you why I don't go. - Why? - Because it makes me so fucking sad. - Me too. - So it gets me overwhelmed and I'm like, I can't save all this stuff. And it just makes me feel sad and yucky. It gets me just fucked up. - Yeah, the reason why I don't go is because every single animal I have is those visits were like, let's just go check it out. - And then you get one. - Yeah, and you get one. Every single animal was like that. So eventually you're like, we can't even go 'cause I will take one home. - That's what I mean. It makes me too sad to be like, well, what are we gonna do? You gotta fix all this stuff? - Yeah. - How hard? - It's so hard. - I know. - Oh God, some of it's so sad. And you just want to. You try to justify it in your mind. It's like, what are we gonna do? It's like, well, we can, you know what I mean? We can get a bigger house. - You'll change your entire life. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's too hard. - Well, I'll say this. I'm excited. I'm excited for the springtime. - Why? Why are you excited for springtime? - Every day is springtime here. - Because when spring has sprung, so does our love. - Well, your love for what? - You. - It doesn't for me, my bad. - You don't spring sprung? - I don't spring sprung for you, no, no, no, no. - All right. - It dies for me. It's fall. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns into fall for me. But yeah, my love for you stays the same. - Never changes? - Uh-uh. - Good. - Yeah, it's deep, but shallow. At the same time, it's a combo. - Uh-huh. - It's a combo deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's 'cause you have a tiny vaginal canal. - That's rude. Those are fighting words. - Everything feels deep. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For you. - Yes. - That's my friend. on september 25th no one's coming for us it's just you and me boy 58 miles part of the beast is the must-see adventure of the year an incredible story of survival i got you one of the most extraordinary on-screen bond you'll ever see only the greatest dog to ever walk the earth brad pitt i'll get you home part of the beast boleyn theater september 25th rated pg-13 may be inappropriate for children under 13