The Smashmouth Giants, Bumbling Chargers, Stumbling Packers, Week 1 Overreactions, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fandall, the NFL is here and it's the most rewarding season ever on Fandall with the all-time Fandall Rewards Club. Every eligible bet can earn you points. Win or lose, you still get points. The more points, the bigger the rewards you can unlock. Head to Fandall.com/BS to start earning with Fandall Rewards Club. Twenty-one plus select states are 18 plus DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming, game problem-cut 1800 gamble or call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat Connecticut. This stream is brought to you by the Farmers' Dog, the official pet food of the NFL. The Bill Simmons podcast live on Netflix, I am here with Cousin Sal, wanted to mention we have a new rewatch almost coming tomorrow night. We did Rambo first blood part two, being Kyle Brandt, that's how you can watch some people get shot. Listen, we just watched John's Cowboys Sunday night, Cowboys minus three point favorites in Giants Stadium, New Look Giants, a lot of people love in the Cowboys, a lot of theories that Jerry Jones has been quiet this year because he has a really good team finally, explosive offense, a lot of high hopes, and unfortunately for them, you jinxed them on Wednesday with all of your Drake May. Oh, no idea. I heard of it. Yeah, you did. No, you did. No, you did. You did. You were mean about Drake May. You were mean less. You were mean this week. You got a little on your high horse, and now it all backfired with Cam Skataboo, just scattered all over your body. Oh crap. First of all, I didn't, I was nice about Drake May when they lost the game. You were never nice. You were never nice. I tweeted his names and capital letters and exclamation points, like what more, how much nicer could I be? I would have felt bad for you today, but after you said Drake may be 330 times over the course of the week. It's more than that. Yeah. How about maybe the Cowboys could have stopped the same play over and over again. All right. Put them up now. Oh, oh, wait, are you going to run another swing pass to Singletary? You haven't run that for two plays. You mother fuckers. You can't get over the side and stop somebody. So mad. You had to ball once for two thirds of the second half, and this defense, this vaunted defense that was supposed to be, you know, ready to roll and new defensive coordinator, all these new changes. And you got steamrolled by a bunch of oversized white guys. Let's be honest. They all look at him. No, who was who? Well, number 45, 44, 41, guys are moving around and you just got, you got bulldozed. Okay. I didn't know we were going to inject racism into the podcast. I'm looking at the rundown now. It's not on there anyway. We're going to go. I didn't get out there. Okay. The futures we regret. Kim's got a bow. It's like he's no, he's going to be running the ball here. There's three minutes left. I know he's going to run for 13 yards anyway. I can't argue. Well, I can't argue with any of it. The only thing I say, I didn't jinx it because I refused to give those, those nicknames that readers, readers, followers, watchers, viewers, listeners, wrote in and gave, you know, Jackson Dard and I was like, no, no, no, not fall for them. I'm not doing that because I'm going to come home here. We were Carnival. I'm upset. Right. And there was some other ones too. But you know, first of all, this is unfair that I couldn't do the Wednesday night show with you. Why can't, why can't I do tonight's podcast? You have to do the Super Bowl after me after we lost by 30 points. You got to come on and take a drink, maybe victory lap. You weren't in the Super Bowl. Come on. We were in the Super Bowl. I don't know. New York football giants, 29 first downs, six in completions. That was it. Six. Six in completions, 29 first downs. How many third down conversions? I only know a hundred. It felt like a hundred. He was doing third and ninths, third and thirteenths. That was the most incontrolled dartspan. Anytime there was about to be a turnover that it felt like you might get, either you didn't get it or they didn't throw it or fumble it. And then offensively, it felt like you guys were on autopilot the whole game. I didn't really understand. I didn't see the urgency in the first half. I thought the end of the first half was really weird. That just throws it up for grabs, all of a sudden they're coming down for more points. I didn't like the coaching. I didn't really like anything I saw from Dallas. I know. It is week one. I guess this is a bummer. Excuse. It's such a bummer because I did like them. I really felt like I'd have reason to like them going into this year. There was not nonsense and they signed all the players they needed to and the rookies were playing well. And they looked prepared and yet they looked so unprepared tonight. So unprepared. The corners were mess were no better defensively. You have like Darnell Mooney and all right. I say I like he's a nice player but he's not going to Canton anytime soon. He's open by like 20 yards. Looks like they're playing with nine defenders. He got Christian Parker in there. By the way, this guy could be an Eagle spy. We got him from Philadelphia so he could be a double agent, you know, like a Ramirez Mendoza. The Red Sacks got Ramirez Mendoza and he tried to torpedo our season. That's it. You're going to read about it. It's going to happen. Yeah. But like last year was like Miss penalty, Miss tackles and dumb penalties and you know guys would get beat. But this is just like blown a sign completely whiffing on assignments. I know we had young players out there who had rookies all over the place, but just totally unprepared. A bum flip shot in Heimer. Christian Parker. I don't love no adjustments at all. I don't even know what to say. Like you said, yeah, the offense was flat. I don't think we would have won that game anyway. I can't give my enemy any credit. I just have to put my own team down. You understand that, right? Nine penalties for 90 yards. So that didn't change from last year. Yeah. I thought the Giants played a great game and both you and I were shorting the Giants heading into this season. And one of the reasons was I thought Harbaugh was overrated with what he did with Baltimore and et cetera, et cetera. There was a moment in this game when they had a lead late and then the Cowboys come back and they score and it's like, oh, I used to watch Harbaugh do this on Baltimore is going to do it again. Right. Then your guy taunts. Your guy gets the first touchdown taunting penalty in like three years. Yeah. Oh really, you can't hold the ball out as you're running into the end sound like they call that every time. Aubrey misses a P.A.T. and then all of a sudden you, it feels like you never get the ball back. But listen, the Giants, they did remake their team. They looked like a professional football team. I don't like the Giants either. I got to give them credit, super physical. They put their quarterback in positions to succeed. He wasn't like running around, taking huge hits. He really only took one big hit. That was a hard hit in game, too, by the way. Yeah. Not really for him, but it was a late hit. I think somewhere in there. Yeah. Here's the thing. I just, I don't want to give them. I'm so big headed with this. But I kind of look at them like, who's the pitcher on the brus? Miss Yoroski, right? Like, oh my god, this is amazing when things are going good. But would you be surprised if it just stopped one day just because of his style? Because he throws 104 miles an hour, like 75, 70, 80 pitches a day. Yeah. I feel like the Giants played Battery Ram football. Look great tonight. Wish I would play in them in week four. Well, the question with the season and the reason, one of the many reasons we went under with them was because I didn't think Dart or Scatabo would last for four months. Yeah. But you caught them tonight. The whole team was healthy and they actually pretty good. But in a tone, I can't remember the last fun Cowboys Giants game. Now I know that wasn't fun for you, but in general, like a pretty compelling game. I thought the strategy and the coaching and I thought that Giants played really well. You guys have fun players on offense. Yeah, it's fun. That was fun. That was fun. It was a good time. Yeah, it was fun. It was a good time watching a Cowboys Giants game. I'm glad you had a good time. I felt the same way. I felt the same way. We both lost our ringer on our seven picks. Oh, I know. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I felt I said the same thing with the Seahawks Patriots. I'm like, I can't remember the last time these two teams played and I had a good time. Oh, wait. Oh, no, no, in February too. See, this is. I'm sorry. I'm going to go six and eleven. I don't know. Can I just say, like, setting up. I was so excited for today, right? Yeah. And then you have to get used to physically watching eight screens at once. So I had to actually take that film because, you know, I'm not like the red zone rejects. I don't mean to. Whatever. However, however you watch games, it's fine. But I have to watch. I don't rejects. I like that. Like the red zone book readers. It could have been worse, you know. Yeah. I said red zone rejects. But yeah, I like watching the body language and dry and stalling and stuff. You know, you're the same way, right? You're like watching all the games. So that's the physical part of it. But I forgot the mental part of it. How angry I get over the course of six hours, this is before my team even play on like six hours. It was like eleven. Yeah, I know. But from that, yeah, I guess adding this game, but I'm like, oh, man, I'm pissed off of a twelve different things here. Yeah. A couple hours. I got to get back in this. It's so much fun. I know prevent you. It'll be fun again. Well, you're right. There's stuff that you got to get in the habit of like there's four or five moments where you go, why'd you do that? Yeah. You're talking to a TV like that, like Jibon Teweliams today holding the holding the taunting. You're just watching. Why? Why are you doing that? Or the best one today was the Jared Goff backward pass that they called back. Because it wasn't a backward pass because his motion, even though his motion ended up throwing the ball backwards, intended throw. And look, I know people are going to be like, oh, tuck rules, same thing, but the tuck rule is the thing that they've called over and over again, whether you liked it or not for years and years before they finally tweaked the rule. I've never seen that play ever. And last year with the Broncos, Stitum had a similar play where he threw the ball backwards when he was trying to throw it this way and somebody hit his arm. And they just said that was a backward pass and you know why they said that because it was a backward pass. Yeah. That's just like today. I threw the ball backwards, there wasn't, I don't care what he mentally, his intent was. Right. It was like, we talked to Jared and Jared decided that he was throwing the ball forward. So incomplete pass. Yeah. We give him a lie detector test. Yeah. Yeah. Jared looked us in the eye and told us and, but anyway, that just, I was like, there you have those. Right. If the refs had said, because I hadn't seen that before either. But if the refs had said, all right, look, we're just, we're changing the rule and there's nothing you could do about it. We're changing it right now. I'd be like, oh, okay. All right. That's fine. Right. Don't tell us this is how it is. Pereira comes on and he's like, that was the correct call. It's like, I've never seen that call in my life. We watch football every week. So you have those, you have the, the, the roller coaster of fantasy. Like if you had Loveland today in the Bears, they have 59 points and he has zero fantasy points. This is the guy who was the third type of end taken everywhere and you're betting on this offense and him being unleashed and he just has a goose egg. There's no reason for it. Before you go, the other way, you have Devon Veile and the Saints who I have in two of the leagues who all, you know, all of a sudden if you started him, so we have the roller coaster with that. I'm going to write this down. I'm going to write this down next week. All, all things I got angry at in the, from 10 a.m. to 3, just I'll just do the two, what afternoon windows there and I want to be, I want to put it in tears like my wife cheated on me. Angry. You know, the door dash screwed up my lunch angry or whatever I just stubbed my toe angry, you know, I'm going to put them in tears, but I bet it's like 30 things because we text each other all day and it's just like it becomes enormous. What tear would have been, I wish I had more money against the Sean Watson. There's only like one or two weeks left for this because that, I mean, that was, I had that. We brought back teasers on on Fandoah, which was, I think successful. Thank you. If the Broncos hit tomorrow, I think, I think we did really well with our teasers. But I had the Jaguars and the Tees and you're watching that game and the Sean just immediately throws a pick. The body language is terrible. I know people look at his stats into the game and be like, ah, it wasn't that bad. It was like, it was terrible. They were down 24 nothing in five minutes and you're watching it going, why the hell did I, Jacksonville's home, it's humid and hot. The Browns quarterback, the coach after the game, Monkin had some crazy quote, like, yeah, it wasn't that fun. But you know, for me, I've never been a head coach before. So that was great. It was like, nothing was great. You could have no superlatives about what we just swatched, but I just, I thought up to myself, the Chantos and Interceptions, like 10, 20, our time, 10, 25, 120 Eastern. And I was like, that's it. Like the early slate of games doesn't officially begin. The season doesn't really start until he throws an interception. He's like a groundhog. He's like the, are grabbing little creepy groundhog comes out and throws an interception. Yeah. That should be it. The groundhog. The groundhog. The intentional groundhog. And we have 22 more weeks of football. So I was going to make an inappropriate joke, but I'm not going to go for it. Well, the Jets one today too. Hmm. So you have New York. You have two football teams from, uh, from the New York area. Yeah. So we'll let it be this weekend, if any. That's fine. One more. I know. Yeah. That was nice that it was this weekend. Um, so the giants were, oh, I think the big, oh, this might be real in the NFC. And then I think the, the Bengals could make the case for the AFC. Like we got, we got some hype. Some people are behind us because it was same thing for the giants. There was some worse to first, like they were probably the obvious pick from the eight divisions. You're going all in on a worse to first team. That was probably the team you and I stayed away. Yeah. The Bengals. So they beat Tampa. And if you just looked at the stats, you would say the Bengals defense for, for turnovers. And I don't know, man, like I thought all those turnovers were just awful by the Bucks. They were all like really stupid plays by Mayfield by Bucky Irving. So there was one like, you know, a swipe from behind, but Baker was also, you know, running the ball with the, with the dangling the ball out. Yeah. I thought they got some, some fortunate breaks and I just thought the Bucks were super sloppy. I, my jury is still out on the Bengals defense because I thought the Bucks were going up and down on them. Oh, it's got to be. Yeah. I mean, Baker plays Savannah Bonata football, basically. It's like, all right. Well, this is funny. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. And someone, someone said Barrel throws a pick six, Chase has what, like 12 total yards shut down. And the Bucks never punted. And, and yet Cincinnati won, yeah, really almost by double digits, but, you know, Tampa scores at the, they really outbangled the Bengals, I think, Tampa Bay Baker. He actually, if you look at his stats, had a good game, but he did like four, egregiously dumb things. And that's what, and it ended up getting them. But I, I actually think this might be the overaction game. And we'll talk about other basketball candidates, yeah, both ways because I think Tampa is a little better. I'm not just saying this because I like Tampa heading into the season and, and like, since he last, I just felt like that was an either or a game and Tampa just, they had to be in the locker room after going, what the fuck? How did we not, what are we doing? Yeah. Do we turn the ball over four times and yet almost, and we barely lose, you know? They still really can't protect them though. Like a, but both teams. We had a good line. I don't know. That's the weird thing. They have one of the better aligns. Yeah. It's like the battle the teams who can't protect their quarterback, Bengals are like, all right, big bucks are like, all right, we'll show you. We got Baker, the bone breaker, right? Yeah, they just, that's just what you got to get from them every week, I think. The Bengals, I will say, like, obviously, their defense, they have more pressure than I ever remember them getting. And they had a little energy and a little, hey, we feel different, but I don't know. I, I thought either team could have won that one. I had a weird day today because I mentioned this last week, but my daughter had a, had a soccer game at 11 o'clock PT. And so I was debating all these, I was going to put it, I had the TVs, I was going to put her on the bottom so I could have the, you know, get all the games. And then by the time her game started, I was so excited to watch her, I ended up putting her on the big screen at a four box in Bill's Texans on the other TVs. And I wish my wife had gotten video, I was standing in front of the TV so I could see everything. Like, it really looked like a mad man, like, like, and then they were playing the number two team in division three and they took a one nothing lead. And it felt like a, and she drew the penalty kick. And, and I was like, here we go, man, this is going to be like the greatest day. And then they gave up three goals and I, I know, I bet them the draw when they were down three. I know. I forgot to tell you this two, I, I bet them the other way, but you know, it's weird because. But yeah, so it was my focus was all over the place. It was tough. But normally be okay because they're always late stinks, but we had six, now 20 plus really good teams that have, like, let me ask you is one PM Eastern football back. I thought, so NBC did something really interesting with Tomlin and I thought Tomlin at halftime was excellent. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah. It was just him and Maria Taylor and they set him up and it was like, you're going to rip through these, you're four favorite talking points over the next five minutes. It was the first good NBC halftime show NBA or NFL, I think, ever. I was really loud. I was like, this is, this is really interesting. But his main point was that because she was asking him why, why there were so many points while the offense was so good. And he was like, I was watching this happen over the course of the last few years because we're not allowed to hit in August. You know, we don't, we, we have like very soft practices and the defenses need time to get no rhythm. I'm just banging bodies, shedding blocks, just hitting people. And he's like, I'm not surprised that this is the result at all. And I was like, that's, I wish he had told us that before the games when we could have bet some of the overs, but you could feel it. It was like so many defensive breakdowns, like that bucks, I mean, I'm sorry, the Ravens Colts game just fuck ups all over the place, guys wide open. And that's what those one o'clock games or bucks, bills, Texans, Texans have the best defense in the league. They're defense suck today. I think that was the most disappointing unit that I saw today in this week. The Rams offense, say what you will about that game, but the Texans defense and maybe the Chargers offense was awful. Like the bills had more sacks and they had eight yards per play. So I know it's the bills and Josh, how long could do this thing? But I don't want to have money and we do have money on the Texans if they're going to give up even more than 20 points a game. Well, according to the top one thing, maybe, maybe we need a couple weeks of them, the bills did feel different. Like DJ Moore, he had a hundred yards, it said Allen had 11 passes that he completed that were 10 or more yards in the air, which is unusual for him as I think that was a record. He shouldn't have bought for 36 plus minutes, they 26 first downs and they lost. So you can't really say, oh, bills, defense, this game like, I don't know if the people watching this saw the game, but Allen threw a pick that was going to end the game and Lasseter dropped it. Yeah. one of the best defensive backs in the league and it was basically him backpedaling. He should have had it. He drops it. The next play of the bills get a long touchdown, but that's why like, we'll be like, "Oh, Shawshown. The bills. Here they come." And it's like they should have lost them that way. Oh, it's one thing. It's always one thing with the bills, either what it's for them or doesn't. And I know it's like you have to watch your football for you. I shouldn't be surprised. Well, for years, I shouldn't be surprised, but yeah, 334 passing yards, four total touchdowns. Here's just like, get out of my way if our defense blows at the end, so big, but I like the idea that a lot of people, I know, didn't start Allen and Fantasy. Really? Really? Brad and Arleigh. Brad bit $30 for him. He didn't spend $30 on anything except for like Orange Crush and Tobacco, chewing Tobacco. But that's, yeah, so, yeah, they're gonna be good. They're gonna be all right and they'll put the lines next week. I got an email from Ryan and Buffalo who said, Josh Allen now is nine career games with at least two passing and two rushing touchdowns in the same game. Five more than any other player in the history than a fell. Should that step be called the Josh Allen? Oh, interesting. Or should we call it the Josh and who could even threaten to break it? He wonders if Drake Mang would have the best chance. Oh, yeah. That's why you're right there. If he's trying to antagonize you. He also has the 20th most rushing touchdowns of any player ever as a quarterback, Ryan says. I like the idea of calling it the Josh Allen if you have the two touchdowns from running passing in the same game. Yeah, that's good. He has more than anybody. Five more than anybody. It's not in total. Yeah, he has more rushing touchdowns than Earl Campbell. I still don't listen. I already forgot it, but I know like there's some gigantic names on it. But that was the classic Allen game, right? He was incredible. He was awesome. He had multiple superhero plays and the guy in the other team dropped the game winning pick. And then you have CJ Stroud come back down. And CJ was for the most part, his stat. He was 274, two touchdowns, didn't have a pick. And then they're in the 20 that have like about what 30 seconds left. They got a score touchdown. One thing you can't do is take a sack. He takes just an awful sack and then gets a strip sack where he fumbles and they lose. Right. And that's it. If you're a Texans fan, you feel better about CJ Stroud than you did in January, but you still aren't high five. Yeah, but that defense that I'd be a little worried about because that has to be great. It has to be as great as it's been for them to go as far as they do, even with Stroud playing well. So I don't know. And Joe Brady went shirtless after. So you know, he's hard. That's a hard push for coach of the year. As I was a hard push for coaching locker room moment of the year. Yeah. You had the bills in that game and in regular wise guys and Friday, you were the only, everyone was zagging toward Texans. I would say the Texans and the Cowboys were two of the most popular picks this week, right? Yeah. And both of them, both of them fell. Chargers were in a bunch of survivor pools and that didn't happen either. There's a lot to cover from today. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back and we have to talk about the weirdest game of the week. And probably the season Packers Vikings. That's kind of another killer. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. It's the small moments where we have the most fun sometimes, like having a friendly little competition with your friends, sees the fastest or we can put better in the backyard or who can get to somebody's else's house or the better route, whatever it is, even better. If you put some Michelob Ultra on the line or a refreshing way to up the stakes, like me and house are going to pick games against each other on Thursday, it's the NFL season. Maybe we keep track in ways of Michelob Ultra six packs. I'm happy to do that. Maybe Michelob Ultra will make a special BS podcast or ringer six packs. And then we could we could barter them back and forth, whatever it is, by the way, they should do that for us. Superior is worth playing for Michelob Ultra Superior Light Beer and her for a chance to win Superior Soccer Basketball Golf Prizes at Michelob Ultra dot com slash Superior Access Enjoy Responsibly Copperade 2026 and Hazard Bush Michelob Ultra Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri. Just talking fantasy. I have a chance to somehow win this week in our league, even though AJ Brown is now out for six weeks, really hurt my feeling, but I need, so we're talking 23.6 points for Rashee Rice and Kenneth Walker. That would be what beats me. You just got to keep them under that. Yeah. The good news is I won't pay a close attention to every freaking snap in this one submarine my night. So I was not playing a Monday night or no, I think no more games for Packers Vikings. Green Bay goes up 22 to 10 with 20 minutes left in the game. Kyla Murray has been knocked out. He threw a pick and then he got concussed. He's gone. There are some wins as in. I thought McCarthy was coming in. It was just weird to see Carson Wentz. I forgot that McCarthy wasn't even the number two quarterback. He comes in. He looks like Carson Wentz. There's a couple of moments where it looks like he's actually maybe physically breaking down. 22 to 10 feels pretty good. What happens? They don't. Green Bay doesn't score another point. The Vikings score 29. Yeah. So Green Bay loses. They outscored them 419 to 219. They had a Minnesota 132 passing yards. This was the sixth straight loss for Matt LaFloor, including blown leads of 213, 213, and 22 and 10 to include the playoffs last year. That's right. That was five handed. Yeah. This. We tried not to overreact a week one. This was an abominable, abominable loss. Now, if I'm a packer fan, I'm losing my mind. This is not like the Patriot Seahawks game. This is like how the fuck did we lose this game? No doubt about it. And I was going to be so mad. This is my best bet of the day, Packers minus plus the one and a half. So there was some tick-tax in there. The bills were tick-tax. This one was a tick-tax. So, and I was going to be really mad if they lost by three. They made the two-point conversion in Minnesota. You got to be kidding me with this. And by the way, I deserve it because I interviewed Justin Jefferson, the lovely man, and then picked the packers to blow them out. Right. But what the F happened? Like, I don't understand how a defense could be working so well, and then just salivating with Carson was, I think the big play was, I think they would have gotten out of the drive. But that body-to-body thing where you put too much weight on somebody, when you sack like a guy like Carson Wentz, and they got called for the penalty, do you see that? Whoa. And that kept the drive up. Did I see it? Yeah. The penalties kept that drive going, including that one. Yeah. Listen, this is so my buddy, my buddy Chip, college roommate, diehard lifelong Packer fan. He said, can you please read this during the podcast? I'm going to do that because I've known him since 1988. Two-third down stops and an interception all overturned by insane penalties. In a few years, we'll find out this game was part of a gambling scandal. Wow. That's the first one of those. I love it. From bio college roommate chip. Yeah. I don't think Packer's nation is happy about the results, but listen, Minnesota Blitz love, the final number was 78.4%. That's how many times they blitzed him today. The Packer's offensive line was a sieve, right? Their defense, they without Parsons, they just have no pressure at all. They couldn't get any stops, and they ultimately couldn't stop Carson Wentz, who by the way hit Jefferson on that long one. Like that was, I don't know if Murray would have hit him on that. I guess my question is, were the Vikings maybe one injury away from being a decent team? Because you and I both, we are not Murray fans. You pull him out of that game. I feel like they lose that game if he's the quarterback. I kind of did too. He threw a bad interception, right? Bad. Before he went out and then he had a couple decent ones, but he got crushed. I hate seeing that. Honestly. Yeah. It was like that. I'm watching the wrong sport here. I'm going to put the tennis on for a little bit. But, um, so yeah, no, no, you're right. So 78% blitzing, and I think they got home 58% of the time. I think the pressure was a 58% and it just seemed to pick up in the second half. I don't see any adjustments from the floor at all. I guess if you're winning, you don't have to make too many adjustments, but just in the first half. Well, in the first half, they were blitzing on everything. Then the second half, they started mixing it up. They all ended up with 387 passing yards. He was hit 15 times and put 78% of the time. And I don't know if you saw this, but Kenny Atkinson announced that analytically he thought Jordan loved one the game. Oh, did he write it? He did. Yeah. He still doing that. He looked at the stats. Yeah. He thought Jordan loved one. But so we had him, Nerd King, Jordan Love, the new Nerd King, going head to head against former Nerd King, Justin Herbert. And it was perfect because Herbert was just atrocious in the Cardinals game, whereas with the part of the Nerd King package is the nerds have to make excuses for you after you lose the game. So in this case, it's like, actually, Jordan Love was amazing. With the way the Vikings were blitzing him, mate, that was one of the best games of his career. They lost by 17. But that was the Nerd argument this week because he's our new Nerd King, Jordan Love. He's the one. Yeah. Justin Herbert, who's now been dumped, who's left Nerd Village and he's left the country like Megan and Harry. And now he has nobody to defend him when he plays like a complete dog shit against Arizona Cardinals. Not only that, Madison Beer left. She's on the market for all you single fellows out there. She's seen enough. She's like, I can't be with that. Yeah. She was like, I thought I was gonna be in the sweet, being shown in the sweet, the whole game. I had like four touchdown dances with my beer. - Thanks a lot. - Yeah, that was my big loss, not even my best bet, but I would add a nice day. Had they come through on a. - That was your kick in my parlor. - Yeah, plus they killed like 30% of eliminated pools and like 60% of my voice for screaming obscenities at Mike McDaniel. Most of the afternoon was disgusting. Also, it was a karaoke La Flora game. They gave up a 69 yard kickoff for a turn, right? Packers, special teams, lock it down. Terrible, blown coverages. Like T.J. Hockinson was just wide open at one point. They had the penalties, they had the bad offensive line. They had the play where he took the field off the board to set up the sneaks. - Right. - Which leads me to my next question. - How did he not make that sneaks? I'm sorry, I just like, like, oh, he made it. They're gonna review that. I'm like, oh goddammit, he didn't make it. He wasn't even close, stupid. - First coach fired. - Oh, here we go. - I could give you the floor. I could give you Todd Bowles. Can I give you Jim Harba? Could I interest you in that one? - Wow, that's a good one. - That was the one of the worst coaching. I think that might have been the worst coach team I watched today. It's the chargers, no life, stupid shit, doing the same dumb stuff over and over again. Really, really egregious coaching stuff. Like, they're down, what were they down? Nine or 12? There's four minutes left. They have a third and 30. And they have like two time outs left. They call time out. - Right. - Because they don't wanna have a delay game on third and 30. What are you guys doing when you're on 10 yard line? - Yeah. - What are you calling time out for? And then later, it's like, well, they only have one time out left 'cause they had to use that to save the delay game. To save the delay game so that on third and 30, they could throw an eight yard pass and punt. - Right. - That's just bad shit. I don't know. - Yeah, that was bad. I would say he's top three or four at this point. I mean, the team's supposed to win like double digit games, right? I mean, we'll go over our big regrettable futures in a minute, but yeah, that was, talk about like missed assignments. Like, we were led to believe, all right, when Joe Walt comes back, wait till you see. Nobody's gonna get within 15 yards of Justin Herbert. He's gonna be able to do whatever he wants. - Right. - Sean Slater, whoever else is in there, not the case, just overthrows bad. I know McConkey went out, but that game was lost before then. - McConkey went out 'cause Herbert threw him a hospital ball. I don't know if he saw it. - Yeah. - He let him right over the middle and he got absolutely killed. And then I remember DJ Mikey Mack is the offensive coordinator who has the hospital ball in his offensive place. - Should we give someone credit? We never, I know we don't give anyone credit, but Arizona was, they were decent. I'd looked at the ball. - I want to talk about Arizona. Hold on, one more thing in the Chargers, just quick. Because I do wonder if this is the weak one over reaction game. But you love the Chargers, Eddie, into the season. - Oh yeah. - I was with you for most of August and when they lost their center and the left guard center, right guard combo, we're all like F-minuses, I got scared off. Did you see the play when they blitz, they sent three guys to hit Herbert. - Right. - The two tackles both blocked their guys and the other three guys were blocking one guy. - Three guys were blocking one guy. Three other guys are hitting Herbert and the other two guys are creating the pocket. And I was like, I hope that's not a metaphor for the Chargers season. 'Cause it kind of felt like it was. And defensively, they couldn't get stops. They couldn't cover anybody. They didn't get any pressure on Berset. I thought the Cardinals kind of dominated them. - They really couldn't get stops. The Cardinals, if you look at their drive charts, they had six good drives where they kept the ball away from the Chargers had three possessions in the first half or something like that. And then really one, the two and the third quarter, it wasn't a lot. I get on Mike McDaniel. It was terrible by the goal line, everything else. But yeah, the Cardinals, I can't believe it. Berset made some big third down plays and they moved the ball and love scoring early on was big even though he didn't do a ton after that. I wonder with Berset, he's at least a new Flacco, right? Because when he was on the Patriots, he was unplayable two years ago. Like he was really awful. And now I watch him and he's got McBride, he's got Wilson and Harrison. He had, who was that other guy who had seven catches today? That third reception, I'm blanking on his name, but that guy was catching balls. And Berset was like, methodically moving down the field, making all the right reads. He only had one Berset play, he threw it up for grabs for guys that had a chance to get a pick. None of them got it. But I'm with you. I was watching that game. And this is why I think this was the week one over reaction game because I left that game thinking, like the chargers aren't bad. I mean, the Cardinals aren't bad, I actually think. And there was a case for them who was on a wise guys, the Bundo over him. So that last year, how they were like, there were eight one-score games and they were always in the mix, the Cardinals. Like that, a lot of injuries. Yeah. But I don't know. I had a buddy that works in the organization. He's like, he said before today, he's like, they're really rowing behind Berset. They've playing with a chip on their shoulder. They like the floor. By the way, this will floor one, the other one didn't. But, right, there's like some bolt-in-board material. Like, tickets today were $18 and so five. Do you see that? Like, the cheapest tickets. So, you know, I think they were like pumped to play him in front of Chargers fans and so five, which is unheard of. So, they really went out there and kicked their ass. I thought it was interesting. And the floor's parents were there. But there are other summers playing too. But I guess it's 'cause the one son is the first game. First game. It did make me think if you had two sons that were NFL coaches and like, let's say you're retired and you could just go to the games. Like, you really have to manage some egos of that one, right? Well, I think you just do like with Zoe. Like, what if you had two daughters playing soccer? Like, who gets the bigger screen? You just stay at home. You gotta just stay home. That's the one. I gotta watch both of you at the same time. So, Brian from Everett wrote in, since the start of Thursday night football, no NFL team has played all their games on a Sunday until the 2026 Arizona Cardinals. Wow. I don't think we talk enough about the futility of this franchise. The NFL didn't even want to put them on Thursday night against the Raiders and Matt Agascar. Instead, they punish us in the late afternoon window every Sunday. And yet, this franchise went on the road and beat DJ Mikey Mack and Justin. Greatest best ever quarterback to open the season. He's right. And we were talking about, first of all, we did the futures. Should we just do that now? Yeah, because we're gonna go through all these futures anyway. One of your favorite futures was the Cardinals would start at our own five. There was a case for them to start at O and 11. If you looked at their schedule, it was like, I didn't have an easy win forever. And yet, they took it off the board. Let's do it. What's your most regrettable? So we did the future draft last week. And we did what, 60 futures combined. Sometime. Yeah. Let me pull up. All right. I'll just start, Brian. You have to go with the injured guys first, right? So the John's tripling to win offense or rookie of the year. That's a plus plus 850. That's no good. You know what? I'm gonna treat this like a yard sale. Like everything must go. Like I'll sell this plus 850. I'll give you, I'll give it to you for a hundred to one. Like that's it. So I quickly looked at the list you sent. And you're like, all right, here's your list. I was like, I have 30 of them. You have to just read this. I was like, shit, I'll just read all of them. But that's my first one. So go ahead. Oh, then mine would be Brock Bauer's 1000 plus yards at plus 135. That is, that is in the front of my store with a 50% off sign right now. They shaved his meniscus. But he might be ready for week two. What? What do they use a straight razor? What the fuck is that? He's fine. No, no, they shaved it. It's fine. I wonder though if he is back for 15 weeks or 14 weeks, he can still get the fouls. Let's see, go to the front of the counter. He can bring it up. What's your next one? Okay, I mean, AJ Brown, 10 plus touchdowns. Same sort of thing. He's out of month, six weeks. I don't know. Was it high ankle spray? Who knows what these things are? You have no chance at that. Gross. And I have no chance at Miles Garrett, defensive part of the year for plus 400. I'm gonna cross that one off. Compel Acerra, break in the story today. Great. That was pretty fun. Yeah, that was fun. Shout out to him, but yeah, Miles Garrett, who, when you watch that game on Thursday and you're like, wow, is Miles Garrett in the game? No, no, he said he's number 95. He's out there just doing nothing. And now it turns out he was hurt, so. Right. What's your next call? All right, well, Indianapolis Cleveland, Giants, Jets, and Arizona. No playoffs was plus 156. I got a little nervous, three of those teams won. Giants, Jets, and Arizona. So I'm gonna, I would sweat that out. That's, yes, I'll put that in the front of the store, too. I won't even, you don't have to, I won't sell it. If you want to steal it, just take it. I'm putting Dallas over 10 and a half wins plus 500. What? In the front of the store. Yeah, so they'd have to go 11 and 5 to beat that. I watch multiple guys in your defense leave during this game. Nobody seemed like they were in shape. Overshawn got hurt again. And that guy just can't seem like he could play five games in a row. And I kind of regret having that one. I mean, that's not right. I have some Patriots futures. I wasn't gonna use those here. I didn't know we were playing like that. Bring them, bring them. I have on the show, I said Herbert MVP. I'll do Herbert. 4500 plus yards for the one, yeah, let's put them together as a pack and we'll couple that that's nice. Well, we'll sign those two We'll sign us a combo two for one two for one special Stafford most passing yards. I mean, we haven't talked about it's not even an indictment against Stafford over them And they were they were really bad the other night, but I think Caleb Williams is just gonna go that's what this one You know, so I don't like one of us had Caleb, I think for I had him for four thousand four thousand yards Yeah, that was you. Um, that's a one. He'll get that by week three We talked about the Rams the super team stuff How high the numbers were how bad of a sign that was for them based on the history? I Don't know man. I Could see them missing the playoffs. I don't even think that's like a crazy week one over reaction Because we were all signed here for this team that had Miles Garrett just running a mock on defense and then Aaron Donald coming in And now it's like well Aaron Donald's gonna play a 25 to 30 plays and Miles Garrett has a bad knee right and now they have This is my fear in general with them is when you have these top heavy teams Now you're one more injury away from being the chiefs last year. Yeah, now it's like Puka has a hamstring pole or something now I'm looking at six and eleven and not twelve and five so It's interesting because that game first of all everyone was right about it like yeah They should have flown in earlier and it's like that did seem like what it was the 49's were much fresher Garrett was out of breath like the Rams were way out of sync It had to be part of either that other nine. There's a way better than the ramp So I don't know, but I don't want to mix games here because we're still doing regrettable futures But is there a 10 plus win team that you had that you're throwing out the first game that lost that you're okay with like that Like that's actually not too many lost, right? It's just I Feel pretty good about the pats and you're gonna be honest. I'm not like I think I think the pats are gonna be okay And they you know, they're playing in Seattle. I'm not really good. Yeah, yeah I'm not panicking about all right. I wasn't gonna panic for the Rams, but it's not it's not great at all They do have to fix that defense. I think the 11 and the 11.5 over under as an official panic. You're good I wouldn't want I wouldn't want to have to bet on the Rams having a 12 and 5 my last regrettable one is I had washed in Atlanta under eight and a half wins for plus 112 and I mentioned how the seven and a half was like plus 400 or something. Oh you're mad and I'm the boss to do that one. I did the easier one It's like there's no chance either of those teams is winning nine games, right Like zero. I'll couple that with he wasn't awful today, but Jayden Daniels come back later the year plus 750 Doesn't he just looks like a quarterbacker's coming back from an injury and you know, so who's gonna win that then? Well, we have to see my homes. We have to see who else was on that Was my own it. I can't tell no borrow was not tomorrow. Hamlin's back on it It's been it every year. Just really just anybody except for wait. We have to rip through a couple more games really fast. Yeah, good Ravens Colts Lamar look back like in a real way Daniel Jones did not Daniel Jones and hat give house credit I got to give house credit every once in a while. He was on this the hardest of anyone like this guy He's gonna is he gonna be moving around the same as last year. What do you think Daniel Jones is rushing stats were in today's game? Oh, I didn't think I saw one I don't know one rush one rush for four yards Wow, this was the guy who his legs last year was such a big part of those first eight games and Their defense. I didn't see pass rush. I didn't see a team that could cover either and Jones just looks like a guy recovering from a really major injury Baltimore 506 yards Indianapolis 251 the problem is Flowers got hurt and Bateman got hurt during the and not Bateman Lane, right Lane Yeah, he had a good wrist. We don't know what happened, but flowers actually looks like he's gonna be out for a couple weeks I think so also I also had to cope with for offense of rookie of the year So that's a good one. Yeah Ravens minus nine and a half was my better not my best bet But the best bet I made great bet. Yeah, I love that one. They just yeah, they're often the amazing and they look so fast and like we're talking on the chain Like oh my god. He's worth every penny, but Derek Henry 241443 touchdowns like when is this guy done? Honestly like 2033ish what we were all texting about it the bigger question for me now is When does the goat Start coming in a play with him. Yeah, like when does he become eligible for that conversation and when have we ever had a guy who we never thought Ever had a chance to be the best running back of all time, but now we're sitting here after all these years and like wow If he does this for like three more years, we've never seen this ever like we've been running back for five six years Yeah, but not not just stay steady like this forever basically it feels like I don't even know how well He is anymore. He's 32 and I think you nailed it so three more years He'd be at 35 doing this and it doesn't seem like it's that old compared to other athletes We're about to talk about but like some position where you're done in seven years I think Riggins had over a thousand yards. It might have been one more at 35 years old So if he keeps this going like I think he's like the greatest older player Athlete of all time like you could say Brady, but Brady doesn't take hits like Henry gets tackled on every time He gets the ball almost every time he gets the ball. So I think you almost have to go to the pugilistic sports like form and a and Bernard Hopkins Oh, that got Bernard Hopkins is a good one. Yeah, because they're taking abuse, you know, yeah, so I don't know He's that's a great one. Yeah, what's crazy about it is he still is physically dominant and overpowering the same way He was at his peak. Yeah, nothing has changed about how he play it. It's not like like when Jordan got older and he did It's how now he has a fade away now. He's figured out like the mental game and he's not going to try to dunk on you all the time There can be the exact you could watch Derek Henry highlights this year and they're the same highlights as Derek Henry in 2019 Yeah, the same guy. I don't know how he does it. He must be like one of those first acquire Lebron like it wakes up at five in the morning workout guys because there's no other explanation But like Emmett Smith your guy. He comes in 1989 draft by What year was he like oh, man Emmett? It's kind of starting to look like a shadow of himself. It was like 1998. Yeah, I 97 is it when 95 they win so it might even been 96 Yeah, I've been right in there. This is a seven or eight-year position for great guys I mean in referees defying a little bit too, but he's also miss giant chunks of seasons. Yeah Henry is not so We both we both like the Ravens I like that more than you heading into the season. I had them as a possible one seed I liked everything I saw today and what was interesting about today was Everyone was on ending and That line moved from three and a half to three. It was the sexy pick the bundle You know, he's young. He's a proxious gambler for us, but he made a big deal This was the first ticket. I got this summer was cold. It's plus three and a half Shane Steak and So tough on for a cool. He's a cold spend is a shiny blue jacket and everything, but that's it I think you your take was probably more closer to the right take Which is you thought that a chance to be the worst team nafc. I said that I'm sure yeah, yeah I didn't know as but you know like the bigger takeaway is like Daniel Jones is not right It didn't want to matter this game really. I don't think but no, we don't we can't take it for granted These guys are just gonna come right back. You know, Jayden Daniels was fine. No, whatever So tomorrow is interesting, right? That's a little bit of a rehab bowl between both of them right at my home So I agree. Yeah, cousins who I thought looked pretty good today for him Makes you wonder why Atlanta just didn't keep him when I'm paying him anyway And then the Bears were the other offense 59 points Ben Johnson Ben Johnson wasn't kidding when he was saying he thought they could have the best offense six rush TVs They might be the best NFC North team even though they can't stop anybody Carolina The pair's defense gave up 478 yards 24 first downs and burst through for 361 It's not like that bears defense did anything but But is it by the way that was a score agami 5937 and they're gonna be the most exciting NFC North team for sure They're gonna be a slugfest every week and you mentioned Ben Johnson saying wants to break the points record Yeah, we talked about this on ringer wise guys. I almost think like he gives a defensive bonus For giving up short touchdown like touchdowns that don't take a long time So that he could break this record. He's like, yeah, let's just defense. You just get off the field like he sells out Yeah, he's like running right crazy butses. Doesn't really care. Could they do it? They have so 606 is a record And they have fit so they now need 547 and 16 get they need 34 game. I mean, that's doable Especially if the defense is bad. Who do you think is the favorite in the NFC North? Uh on Fandall right now Fandall where we have saved the six pointies. It's got I think it's the bears The only reason I I looked at MVP and he's like fourth. So is it the bears? It is still the lions at +55 the bears are plus 230 Not a lot of action in Arizona at 40 to one for the eight for the NFC West Um, and then the NFC South Which went on for today Tampa is still the favorite at plus 165 You know, I predicted that the winner would go 7 and 10 and I think I was just a little bit generous there I redid the math could be 611 could be 4 and 13 the winner of the NFC South could be actually 4 and 3 everything would have to fall right. So we have the Bears with a super fun offense. We have the Giants with a competent team again, like stuff starting to shift in the NFC. Lion Saints, Chuck was reprehensible for an hour and a half, two hours, and then did the thing he does where all of a sudden he's just roaring back and making plays and he almost has to taste his own blood and be down 15 to start playing. Well, luckiest Lions win. First of all, the Saints, I think they won the coin toss in OT, but they they decided to go second, which most teams do, but the Lions just were like, thanks. Right. Right down it scored. And then the Saints. I hate that move by the way. Yeah. Would you want to go first or something? Yeah, your defense is tired. You don't want to put them on the field. Give them four, six minutes of rest there. That's how I felt. But it didn't work out for Detroit because the Saints came back down, made a bunch of crazy plays, they score. And then they run the worst two point conversion play probably the year would be my guess. Yeah. And they'd all their receivers on one side. It was so clearly going to be like a quick flare out to Olave. They read it, and he didn't know what to do. It ends up throwing it out of bounds. Yeah. And you lose something was going to be, you know, I had a half up as the game went to the overtime. I had like a half a page of notes written to give you about how Dan Campbell sucks is this fighting kneecap bitch. Let him be the first coach fired. And then you know what? He got it out and overtime. So he's really great again. I don't know what's with this team. 21 nothing at home. Like, why did they struggle? This is a team with they don't have 35 points in the fourth quarter. I'm like, all something's from like I can get 35. So right. Well, that defensive touchdown was everything. Saint should have won the game. Their secondary is going to be really bad until they start getting guys back. And it's just something to follow away. The other thing I didn't like for them, Gibbs, who now has 51 touchdowns of 50 games. He's in this 50 for 50 club that I didn't know about until five hours ago. He had 29 carries for 156 today. You know, so it's six catches. So 35 touches total. I don't know. I'm not putting 35 touches on Gibbs against the Saints and week one is not a good recipe in my opinion. Right. So now he's on pace for 600 touches this year. And I just don't think that's the stain. Might be smarter. A little bit. Yeah. And then we have Eagles washed in. I just wrote down for this game. Philadelphia sucks the life out of both fan bases for three solid hours every week. I don't have any other notes. It's pretty good. It's just everybody's bummed out. People who bet on the game, the other team's fans. Fully fans. Who has a good time during an Eagles game? Nobody. That wasn't. No, you're right. I mean, I did a little bit because I'm not afraid of their offense. Not that my team's going to contend really, but it's not fixed in any way. They had 10 first downs. Not scared of that. So I don't know. Did you think they were protecting as well as they used to? I felt like Washington who's not exactly the 85 bears. I thought it was kind of beating them in the line of scrimmage. I was surprised. No doubt about it. Yeah. I thought, you know, and then like, just really, they screwed up like David Bliles drawing up a shuffle pass to a blocking tight end. There's the two-point conversion. That's not going to be good. Well, we know who the guy who's going to go 29 dollars and your fantasy drafts auction week one is going to be. It's going to be done. Tavy and Wix. Oh, yeah. I don't think anybody has him. Right. Yeah. 29 bucks for him. I wouldn't do it. It's fine. I don't love that offense. McLaren had two catches. He sucked the last year. We've been done. The contract told out. He never seemed to be open in this game. None of their receivers ever seem to be open. And Washington's going to be bad. Raiders dolphins. Let me just say one thing about Stefan Diggs because he's might be one of the goal posts. Hopped in the goal post, costing them a penalty and a two-point conversion attempt. I'm sorry to go after your boy Brady, but he in Birkhart. Don't mention it at all until the fact that they don't mention the fact that prohibited them from going for a two-point conversion until they're bumping into commercial. And then they couldn't, they're like, oh, by the way, they could go for two there because of the penalty, we'll be right back and getting drowned out by widespread panic, whatever music they have going into the break there. But come on, guys. I'm going to hold about 10 Brady jokes. Raiders dolphins. Here's a good Brady joke. The race Raiders won. Raiders dolphins. They're like, who do we get for this game? How about Chris Myers? He's back. Chris Myers. He hasn't retired and they're just he's getting ready. Raiders dolphins until he dies. This was Malik Willess against Kurt Cousins. It was everything advertised. It was only one of the four games we had. And the big takeaway for me, and this one is Ashton Gentee, who I think I have in every fantasy league. Really? I think we got him for, I got him for 28 bucks in our league. He's going for like in the 50s before he got hurt. He looks really good. It's good. Yeah, he looked, I think he's, they didn't look bad. Now they're playing Miami who's really off. Yeah, they shouldn't be bad. But I actually don't love the higher than Miami. Miami didn't look awful either. I bet Willess to throw an interception. I was my only thing on this game. But they just didn't score points. He wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't that bad. I think that's a good bet every week is a Willess interception because none of their receivers can get open. And he's not opposed to throwing the ball into traffic. I wrote down the receivers in this game. Did you hear me go through this whole routine? No. The receivers in this game. I think with the worst batch of receivers in a non-shrieks season on both sides. The top three were Malik Washington, Chris Bell, Caleb Douglass, Trey Tucker, J.O. and Naylor, and Jack Besh, Besh, how do we even know? Yeah, do you get worse than that? No. No. No. I don't think, like, I'm trying to think of a good offensive matchup. I don't think they see the field. They're probably the sixth receiver on. Yeah, right. On a good offensive team. Cleveland, Jacksonville, we mentioned the Sean Mordor person ever. And then Falcon Steelers, we got to talk about because this line moved three and a half points. We've got six and a half. Do we ever, do you think we ever see two again? Like in all seriousness. Well, will it be healthy enough to get, they have to put them in. No, like healthy. Do you think he plays another down a football ever? We think Cooper Rush is just like you let it, I don't know. Yeah, I just thought that that house has a conspiracy theory that, oh, that maybe, no, no, that maybe, uh, it's like, uh, say you're injured, but maybe he's playable. Well, I know they want panics in there. I know they're like, they're propping them up and everything. Yeah, this was, this is bad. I mean, it combined for the 1069th ranked total EPA out of 1097 games offensively. Wow, felt worse. Um, Steelers offense. I didn't think this would happen till week six, but about late in the second quarter, it became, let's try to get a PI that became the offense. Right. Rogers was 5.5 yards per attempt. Rushing attack 21 for 58. I would not call it explosives. I don't want to say too much because the Patriots play them next week, but, uh, hard to, hard to overstate how punctualists they looked. And they're unfriendly and they were, and Rogers did not want to get hit ever. All his decisions were based around, I don't want to be hit once in this game. Yeah. And Mike McCarty must be like, God, this doesn't resemble any kind of offense I've ever been a part of. And that's my thing. It's offense. What the hell do I do? Right. Oh, we can put it in the Falcons every week. And you know, what Michael Pittman, did you see him? His, uh, he caught a few catches for like 60 yards for, uh, did you see his post game interview? He said, uh, he's like, you know, he came over from the Colts and he said, he's looking forward to this marriage with Rogers, but he just needs to fuck other teams first. He didn't say that. I'm sorry. Did he say that? Someone fuck. I'll find that interview. He came back. I've said he feels like he's lost the intimacy and with Rogers last year. Yeah. Jets Titans. Salas revenge and not being a one out of a hundred night revenge scale. Tennessee had a hundred and ninety five yards of offense. The Jets had an easy win. They somehow had it not going to turn over 18 in a row. Yeah. And that's about it. I, I really wanted to make the Jets my fifth ringer one oh seven pick on Sunday. And I just couldn't pull the trigger because I, I, I just kept thinking about betting them or picking them and then having to watch Gino and the humidity and just doing Gino. I just couldn't do it. I didn't want any part of that game. I think, uh, you know, is it a wild card to say Salah could be a first coach fire? Week 11. If he's like all in nine and there's a buy in there somewhere and they're like, you know what? We screwed up. This is not going to get better. You won't go with the jet. It's not going to, it's just not going to work here. So Jeremy in Hudson, New York wrote in, he's a long time Jets fan. After watching Robert Salas shit the bed for years with the Jets, then somehow shit the bed against the Jets on Sunday. I found myself wondering, what is this guy actually good at? In light of the one thing he's demonstrated sustained high level production, I'd like to nominate a new nickname for him. Success. Seaman Salah. Enjoy. Well, he's nine kids. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I guess Jeremy is saying that's the one thing he's been successful at is reproducing. Okay. I don't know if successful Seaman Salah is going to catch on, but we'll have to watch Peter Schrager show tomorrow on seafood. Oh, good. All right. Yeah. We'll come of that. All right. Before we get to guest the lines, we have to talk about, um, first of all, can I can give me 20 seconds on the mariners? No. I don't know. 20 seconds. Oh, oh, you take them. Yeah. I want to take 20 seconds. Yeah, yeah. I don't have 20 seconds. Yeah. So Hans and I, we haven't won our ale keeper league since the mid 2000s. And we had our best chance this year. And unfortunately, we have multiple mariners on the team, including George Kirby, who we traded for a mid season. Muno's the closer. Uh, Kate Anderson, who we've been waiting for them to call him up for three months. They finally did three weeks ago when it was far too late to help us. And Josh Nailer, who is supposed to have homers and steals and has had one homers since the All Star break. And just in general, I feel like I've been sucked into the vortex of this mariners season. One of the guys we're competing against has Brian Wu, who is the only competent pitcher they have right now for some reason. Oh, no. We had Muno's as the closer. It was the best closer in the ale. He has 10 blown saves and six losses this year. And today, um, when we're finally having a good day and it was a make or break day for us, Muno's comes in against the athletics and Sacramento. And this is after George Kirby yet another atrocity on Friday night. Um, just the A's beat George Kirby two times in a row. The A's have like everybody's heard in the A's. They play in Sacramento. It's a bunch of dudes. You've literally never heard of in your life. And they're just beating the mariners over to over again. Muno's comes in with a one-run lead proceeds to walk somebody, which he does every every single time he comes in. It's like it's just they should just put the first guy in first base. The Lawrence Butler comes up who's hitting like 200 is I don't know nine homers. And it's just like I know Muno's is either getting up a dub or a home run here. So he goes three one on Butler. Butler walk off Roy Hob's home or off Muno's for his tent blown safe. So instead of so we get the minus one we get our ERA. And it's just like we're gonna have to bench Muno's because he's that much of a disaster when we're trying to win. And so between that and all the other guys in this team, I just I hate the mariners. I really I hate their guts. And I've been tweeting about them in the Seattle mariners fans. They love it because they're like finally somebody other than us have noticed what a fucking dumpster fire this team is they the mariners fans hate their manager. They the general manager they hate all the guys in the team. It's like it's like this is the most unlikeable baseball team this year. And somehow I got sucked into them with the fantasy team. And I can't tell you how much anti joy they brought me this year. And they couldn't fuck themselves and go to hell. Well that's Seattle. Just the city of Seattle has to be a new top of your shit list, right? Well, that's I like the I feel bad for them. You like to see on it. Well, they took the son. I mean, whatever, let's see. I am the thighs with them. I just can't believe this team was favorite to win like 93 games. Yeah. Yeah. It's just one of the world's serious favorites. Wow. And you know, that might have been longer than 20 seconds. I wasn't having it. But sorry, Zoe. I was watching Muno's blow save. I had a puts Seattle on the screen. I didn't see that corner care. Muno puts you guys out. And then the only other thing I had was the scheduling stuff this weekend, where we have the US open. They have the men's final, which is an awesome final. Shelton against VAR of everybody's written for Shelton on the planet. And they put it on during football. And there's just no way this is the right solution. Could you put it at night? As like eight o'clock ET, maybe you go head to head against the Sunday football game. DeBundo is suggesting or somebody on our thread was suggesting maybe move everything a day back. And the men's final is Saturday night. And the women's is Friday. They're both Saturday through the men's and women's Saturday night. It's fine. It's good. So do the woman like two. And then that goes right into the man two weeks to figure out the days off and everything. But just putting it so we see an hour and a half of football finally back. And then someone's supposed to remember that there's a tennis mat. The best the biggest tennis match of the year is on that I want to I know you wanted to be like sports are years ago. I think you're yeah. I'm still I'm still available. I just want to do the scheduling. Just get me scheduling. I'll do believe me. I won't put golf up against anything stupid basketball. I'll line it all up. And then you had a whole thing with the WNBA, right? Yeah. If we if so, if we were the sports ours and WBA came to us and they were like, Hey, thinking about folding the season for three weeks near the end of August when there's no football or anything going on. And when we actually have people's attention other than baseball. And we're going to have momentum heading toward the playoffs. What we were thinking of doing. We're going to shut everything down for three weeks. And we're going to send everybody to some World Cup tournament and that nobody even knew is happening. I I'll pay anybody five dollars who knows who won the last 10 women's World Cup Feebo tournaments. I don't even know what what what was this. All of the best players go over there. And then they play France today. I actually watched the semi-finals yesterday against Spain. I did. I was I enjoyed it because it was fun to see who the lineups are going to be. They want them to vet. It's like I like these players. And so today it's going head to head against football. Wasn't ever watching that. Apparently we won. And they thought it was a season for this afternoon. Later. No, it was at 11 o'clock PT. But my question is. Wow. What's the point of stopping the season for a tournament that nobody knows is happening? And it was on TNT or TBS. One of those. Maybe you got a decent rating. I don't know. But they had so much momentum with the season. And now they have to come back and be like, okay, the season's back because we're back from the World Cup. We won. Yeah. Cool. I didn't even know we had a World Cup tournament's basketball. All right. Yeah. And so now they have to finish the season against football, gearing up, like college football. Yeah. Baseball playoffs. Like this is that they really screw themselves on that end too. Can you imagine if the NBA it's like late March. And they're like, yeah, got to shut the NBA season down for three weeks here because we have the FIFA World Cup. Right. We're just going to stop it. We'll be back. Just hold it. Just remember where the standings are. Yeah. Everybody be like, what are you guys doing? You would have to go down. World Cup. You'd have to go from 14 NBA podcasts down to 11 a week when they shut down. Yeah. I like the Olympics. The World Cup is fine if it's in the off season. But during the season. Yeah, I know. Now put us in charge of scheduling. We'll do it for nothing. We'll pay you. Also Steve Balmer before we came on today said he wasn't going to sue the league because really didn't have a case. Yeah. But he said that we want to move on, move forward. We want to rebuild our relationship with our fans. You know how to start reattellers this? No, they put out a thing from the Clippers account. Oh. You know how they could rebuild relationship with the fans? Offer us refunds for season tickets and tickets. Give us a chance to get out of the relationship. And then that would rebuild the will because I promise you there would be some people that wouldn't keep season tickets or tickets they bought this year. That's true. Maybe do that. That would be a good way to rebuild somewhere. Okay. Guest the lines. We tied last week. Yeah, we did. Now what ends up happening? I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit. We tie and then you decide that we didn't tie and Jacobi is like, Sal, you should have won or whatever. And you're like, he didn't win. He didn't even tie. I'm like, what? I know. I went back. I thought you cheated me out of a win, but I went back. Never. I would never. I'm going to lose this week though. Thursday night. This is unbelievable. Detroit has to play on Thursday night in Detroit. I mean, I'm sorry. I have to play on Thursday night after that. Pretty fiscal acoustic game. They're playing the Lions who just played an overtime game. Yeah. So good luck. Welcome to the NFL season. Everybody. And the stadium, right? Yeah. Home opener. Yeah. I put this in the Vegas zone. Hey, Bill's minus four and a half. Okay. Good. I had four and it's three and a half. Yeah. Well, I don't agree with that at all, but I accept the result of the of the books. Let's go. You're not going to you're going to pull stop. I'm going to contest. I'm going to accept the result and move on and try to build relationships with my fans. From what I saw the lion's secondary, this should be a really nice Josh Allen game would be my guess. They're not as good. I guess they played at a level of competition. Is that what we the best thing we could say about the Lions, but they're not as good as them. Does a new stadium opening help or hurt or have no effect? It didn't work for the Cowboys. I know they lost in the last I can feel go to the Giants. I don't think it works. I don't know. They do this in TV too when they have a new set. They're like, look at our set. I remember when I was doing countdown, we had to do a whole thing about we had a new set. Right, right, right. People don't care. And then people see it and it's like, yeah, people like, oh, cool. So yeah, there's light and you have a desk and there's TV behind. Well, what's it going to do anyway? It's supposed to get the fans. You don't have a crazy group of followers in the bills anyway, right? They're cracking their skulls open in the parking lot. Right. You already got the best fans. Sunday marquee game, pretty clear. It's Texans, Bengals in Houston. Yeah. A semi must win for the Texans who do not want to go into Bengals trying to capitalize on some momentum. I don't think they'll be getting four turnovers again. This game is in Houston. And I put it in the tic tac zone of Houston minus one and a half. You get it. I said, one, it's two and a half. Okay. So maybe the books agree with our not getting too excited about the Bengals yet. Yeah. Well, I mean, Coach Taylor, don't forget. I mean, he went, he went to an old last year, but so I guess it's possible. We forgot to, that was probably his most convincing week one week one victory ever. Yeah, for sure. Taylor, right? You didn't get it. It's like, what? Why are you carrying me? Three watchables. We should mention there's a lot of like good team against the not as good of a team matchups, which lead to more fairly watchable and poopfecting games, but three watchables. First one is in Denver, Broncos, home for the Jaguars. Yeah. Tough one because we didn't see the Broncos yet. We don't know how bonix is going to look. I Broncos minus two. All right. I got it exact. It's two and a half. Okay. That is tough. So tough to have learned anything from the Jags today, other than that parker washed and picked up where he left off last year. Yeah. He was fun. You know, they got turned over twice Cleveland. One was an awful interceptor, but I don't know what else to say about him. The only thing I noticed from the Jags is I don't love their running backs, and I'm not sure they fixed the ATN now, H&N. H&N, yeah. Leaving. It was Tutan and Chris Rodriguez was out there and just all like backup fantasy running backs. Right. Those are just their running backs. I don't know. Right. Those are third and third and third and two guys. Yeah. That's going to work. All guys you don't really want starting in your fantasy. Can I change my name to H&N too because of an H&N? Think about it. It's time for shakings up. Chicago is home against the Vikings. And I guess Carson went. So I can't imagine Kyla Murray's because that poor guy was in the fencing position. That's usually two weeks. Yeah. We won't see him. I have bears minus three and a half. Oh, all right. I thought I would lose it here. I had three and a half also. It's five and a half. Carson tie there. You know. Look, you're thinking teaser. You're going to tease through the zero slightly. I don't know if the from what we saw from the Bears defense where they should be put with other teams. Right. To me, if you're going to do the money line with them, you do it with the over. Right. Just like ride on. Although, man, I had the Cardinals won. I almost did them for ringer 107. I had a tease with them in the over with their over 41 in the final score. Final score was 26, 14. 14. Chargers didn't score in the second half. I thought I nailed that game perfectly. It's back, baby. It's back. It's South low thing and regret. We're back. Pat Steelers is our last watchables. It's into England. I can't go higher than two and a half for this. Wow. Really? Yeah, I can't. What is it? I went this. I said three and a half and I was a point off. It's four and a half. Biggest son. Come on. You got to like, that's, I mean, you would be, you wouldn't be shocked if they lost, but you'd be pretty. If that's on a one-score game, you're not going to give out a roger's trouble. It beat us last year. No AJ Brown. We also don't have booty. So now we don't have a deep threat. We have dobs who was so bad last week. It's still a top of a conversation back home. Kyle Williams, who I guess is the deep threat now, who won out of every 10 times. It's like an awesome past him. Then the other nine times it seems like him and Drake made both thought it was a different play. Henderson might not be healthy. I don't know. I love all the negative talk, but TJ Watt doesn't get his big mid on that pass. Cooper Rush beats the Steelers. This is the stupid Steelers though. Okay. Fairly watchables. I got four bucks, browns in Tampa. I'm probably too low. I had bucks minus seven. No, you're going to get it. I was too low. I said six and a half. It is seven and a half. Now we're talking teaser. That is looking teezish. Yeah. This is a kind of game though. You will absolutely hate the box. Even if you went because they'll they'll screw with you a little bit. As I said earlier, you know, when you have loved ones that might not be around for a lot longer and you go visit them, you know, like an uncle or a grandparent. You said this to me 20 years ago when we were sitting next to each other 22 years ago. We were sitting next to each other at Jimmy Kimmel live because we shared an office in our desk or next to each other. Yeah. And we had a lot of spare time and your brain was moving 100 miles an hour back then and you just asked me these weird questions. That would break my brain. And one day you asked me, how many times did you think I would get to see my dad for the rest of his life? That was so much more fun. What do you mean? It was and you were like just the rest of your life. How many more times do you think you'll see him? He lives in Boston. You live here. How many more times? And then I just and then you moved on and you started another conversation. I was just sitting in a world. There's no way I moved on. I'm not I demanded a number. I must have demanded a number. I think I think you had some calculated your parents because your parents didn't live for yet. You were thinking maybe 68 more times. And now it's been 680. I know. I've been plenty. No, no, I love them. I love them to death. Anyway, I'm going to happen. I mentioned that story. Why? As a segue because I feel sad. We only have so many more times to bet against the Sean Watson. This might be it. Listen, last week, I'm going to have multiple bets. I mean, this is like the goodbye. We're taking them to hospice after this. It's also never play good. Baker Baker. He's got to hate this team a little. Yeah. Yeah. This is this this line will be nine and a half and two. Baltimore's home against the Saints. I put minus seven for this one because of the the late touchdown potential of the Saints and the Ravens defense, which seems like it would love to give up a late touchdown. I don't think it can be much higher than seven. I said eight. It is eight and a half. It's a little pricey. Yeah. I think they just think the Ravens. You're beating me this week. I'm a little off. I'm like five point five to three. Five to three, including ties. Yeah. Cowboys home for Washington. I have four and a half for the Cowboys. We tie here. Yeah. What is it? Four and a half. Oh, we got exactly. Yeah. We've both got it. I know I'm going to put them in a money. I have some bad ones. I have some two that are three off. So you're going to three that are three off. This was the hardest one for me. This next one. Packers are at the jets. I tried this in a bunch of different ways. It was I was like when you get ice cream and eat the little spoons. Yeah. Can I try the banana cream pie? Can I try that almond? I tried Packers minus one and a half. I tried Packers minus one. I tried Jets minus one and a half. I wrote down pick them. I landed at Packers minus one against the jets. You gave it too much thought because you weren't even close. I said four. Packers four and a half. Yeah. Really? At the jets. Must moustache win. Right? Moustache. From what you saw from the Packers today. I know. They can't. They're running backs are probably bottom five out of all the running backs in the league without Jacobs. They can't block. And their defense gave up multiple big plays. They have real special teams issues. Their fans hate their coach. Why would they be favored on the road against the jets team that I don't know. It's coming off a win and I don't get that one. I gotta be honest. I saw the least of the jets. I had it on my computer screen. My biggest takeaway is with that Aaron Glunch keep the towel. I know it was sweltering hot, but he should turn into torque from you and LV. Like you won with it. Don't let that go. But otherwise it was a lot of guys just not moving the ball for hours. I thought. I got to say I didn't see any of it. It was one of the sacrifices. Yeah, there's eight games. I'm not watching all eight games. Yeah. So that was a pretty easy sacrifice. I don't know. I just think it was. I guess my bigger point is I don't think the Packers are good. Right. And I don't think that's a weak one over reaction. All right. I mean that's 29 straight points to Carson Wentz to lose today. Could this be there is always one where there's a team that's only two and team that's two and oh and they have has business being the other, you know. This could be the one. I don't I don't like them on the road at home. Poop Fecta Panthers are at Atlanta. and I have the Panthers in the Tick-Tack Zone as a minus one and a half favorite. - All right, that's what, wait, I had plus one and a half. So I had Panthers minus one and a half. It's Falcons minus one and a half. Yes, we were both off three points. Jesus. - Falcons, not only knowing who the quarterbacks is gonna be one and one, it's insane. - So, yeah, so no matter what happens in that game, the AFC South cannot be O and two next week. - Right. - Oh, that sucks. Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I don't know what I'd end. - And I just say, there's no way either teams should lay points in this game. - They should both get four and a half points. Is that possible? Well, both teams are getting four and a half. Was that make it too easy for the betters? - You teased them each way? - Yeah, I mean, you could do that with this game. But for this game, you could tease it. - Oh, my God. - You could have the Falcons plus four and a half and the Panthers plus seven and a half and just try to mid-oil for the three hours. - Okay, that is the worst. I might do that. Eagles are at the Titans. I'm sure very few things, but I'm betting anything. This is in the Vegas zone. I'm gonna say Eagles minus four and a half. - Well, I'm gonna beat you this week. - I had six and a half, it's seven. I'm off all over the place. - Let's go an hour, your bill. - Yeah, I'm off. - Is it your site? Are you not able to see? - No, I got new contents. - I can see. - I can see. - No, I can see. - Yeah, yeah. - All right. - Pretty happy. - Yeah, it's weird. - No, but they see it good. Eagles minus seven, huh? - So that's like just a Titans thing. 'Cause they looked, I mean, they did the same yardage and everything as the Redskins. - That might be another teaser game. - Seahawks are at Arizona. I think I hit this one, exact. Seahawks, no Sam Donald. So Drew Locke. Cardinals looked awesome. It's in Arizona, the fancier would be excited. I have Seahawks minus three and a half. - All right, yeah, I was off by three points here. - Oh. It's definitely Drew Locke, right? They're all but rolled them out. - Darnels out for this thing. So I at least got that one, right? I'm off by two points every game. - Yeah. - Cards, kind of a sexy home dog there. - I'm just trying to think. So they have the rest advantage, right Seattle? - Yeah. - And come from anywhere stupid. - Yeah, I think it's just a boy. That, you talk about it back to our cover potential. That's the one. - Yeah. Chargers home for the Raiders. They will be a lot of Raider fans in this game. And I have Chargers minus eight. - I had eight also, it's seven. - So the Chargers had a really hard schedule, especially from a rest advantage standpoint, which was about as unfavorable as it's ever been in the history of the league. But they were supposed to go two minute out to start the season. So they lose the first game. Now they have this Raiders game where the Raiders actually looked semi-competent. So who knows? - Well, if you need 15 points to beat the Chargers, then fine, no one's out of it. - I forgot to tell everybody, everyone who had all the negativity toward my guy, Drake May, Wednesday and Thursday. I really hope that kept the same energy for Justin Herbert over the next 24 hours 'cause he was worse than Drake May was. He was awful. - No, by his words. - He was 100% worse than Drake May was. - Are you kidding me? - Maybe through three picks in his last performance. - He was in Seattle against the Super Bowl defense. Justin Herbert was playing the fucking Cardinals. A team that had it over under of three and a half games. - It is a lot. - He was playing, he looked like he was playing the sea ox. - I know. - He was way worse than Drake May. And almost killed McConkey. - Yeah, that's true. Drake May didn't kill McConkey. - Drake May didn't kill anyone. Last one, Niners home for the Dolphins. I'm just operating as the Dolphins have to be double figure underdogs against everyone they play. I have the Niners minus 12 and a half and I think this goes up. - You were smart about it. I said 10 and a half. It's 13 and a half. Now, it should go higher than that. But what, man, I just think that Australia thing has to screw with, now I'm really into these time zones and everything. - Yeah, I feel like we learned so much about time zones. (laughing) - What's the score of everybody? - My down two, do I have a chance? - 34, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. - 10 to 8. - There's a two more or one more. - Two more. - Okay. - I was off by two on one and I was off by one on this game. - Sunday night Kansas City, home for the Colts. I beg you so in this, chiefs minus five. - I get this. - Five and a half for me, it's six and a half. But there's no way to know. - Beat me. - Yeah, baby. - Now I have the UG Kobe texting as celebrating. - Yeah, we got Jakob's, here we go. - You always start that early and then you fall apart. - I know. - Monday night, Rams, home for the Giants. So before the next game, I had this in the eight and a half range. As I watched in the Giants, I lowered it. I have Rams minus six and a half. - Oh wow. So I thought I was gonna miss it. I missed by two points. I said seven and a half. It's nine and a half. - That's stupid. - Destruction. - That's stupid. - Let me see if they changed it. - Maybe I'll give this one to you. - No miles for it. - Yeah. - There's no way it's nine and a half. It's gotta be lower than that. - No, it's seven and a half. It went to seven and a half now. - Oh, so I won that one. - I still get, no, I said seven and a half. You said six and a half. - Fine. (laughs) - I say, this is what happens. - Jesus. - You can lose, you're right. - It's 12 to, yeah, I'll take it. - Big win for you. - Let me see. - Before we do a pair of corner. - UCLA 2-0. - Yeah. - Two big second halves. I watched the entire Ohio State Texas game. I've watched more college football. I'm on an incredible college football pace. - It's good. - Primarily it has not been great. - Yeah. - I picked the team that doesn't score and I've already lost interest. - Who man you? - No, I have taught them. - No, they don't score goals. - Right. - And I don't know, I wouldn't say I'm Mr. Soccer, but I like soccer, I know soccer pretty well. Like one of the goals of soccer is to score goals. - Yeah, they don't, they don't score goals. - Yeah, I like to see goals, they don't score them. So I'm losing interest in moving to a college football. This week's a great one. Yeah, that was you Ole Miss. So they're gonna be pissed. - Do they criticize the college football coaches like they do with NFL? 'Cause I thought Ohio State, no, during the games, like the announcers, I thought Ohio State completely blew that game. I couldn't believe it, the third and four, where they basically throw the 35 yard lob pass in the corner to their best receivers. It's like, okay, that's fine, but that's not the point you needed there. You just need to get four yards. You're probably winning the game. You need to get closer. They throw that point, doesn't work. And then they miss the field goal, setting up Texas coming back down. But it's like, you've third and four on the other side of the field. And you have the team you have, that game should be over. - They dependent on Jeremiah Smith too much, I thought. - Way too much. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I don't know. - I thought Arch would move up in the, in the highest minute. But, did you feel like enough people were running toward him after he won? I felt like he was running around, like, Jim Favanna started looking for somebody to hug. Everybody is gravitating toward other players. - Yeah, you almost get to run over by the steer. - Yeah. Today's parent corner brought to you by PayPal. In parenting and in sports, the best game plan is having the right tools at the right place. That's why the new PayPal app brings shopping, paying, earning rewards, and managing your accounts together in one spot. Plus offers deals and stackable reward shows up. Every time you open the app, parent corner you're up. - All right, here we go. So my wife flew out with my son, Archie, to set him up for a senior year. So he and his friends moved from like a nice apartment to a house, and she was not happy with this because it's a nice apartment. And now it's a house that is, it's got like a used, it was like an auto body shop on one side, and then behind it and down a little is the dispensary. So she's not happy with this location. And like, I think like college kids, it's more important to have the dispensary close by than even like your classes, right? Right. So they wanna have parties, so they're gonna have parties. Now my wife was freaked out because as she's like setting up his furniture and stuff and whatever, they make that crazy target run, there's a tweaker outside. And just wanders the neighborhood, and it freaks her out. And like, they all kind of like know them in the neighborhood, but he can get like, ornery too. So like, steal like door dash orders, but just parts of them, like if somebody orders, like a raspberry lemonade or something, they'll just be gone. So they know to like order extra because it's gonna be stolen, even if they have their eye on it. So, and the cops will come by, but they don't do anything. They get just giving like granola bars and stuff. So, so she is really messed up about this guy. She's like, he's gonna kill everybody. He's gonna get, but he also like, he hung two branches in the tree right in front of their house. Two branches and wire and like phone cables. to ward off evil spirits, which I think is nice, like trapping evil spirits. Yeah, that's the neighborly. Yeah. Yeah. I wish someone would do that around here. Keep some of the evil spirits away from me, taking the chargers, you know. But it drives her bizarre, and she was mad that like I'm not getting mad about it. And she's like, put it on a parent corner and see what Bill thinks. And I was like, Bill doesn't allow his 88 year old father to take a cab home from Finway Park. He's fine. He's going to be fine with it. He lives on the edge. He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He'd let the tweak or move in. So, I don't know, I think it's fun to tough it out. My apartment's got worse and worse through college, like my sophomore, did you need a senior year? I think it builds character. Unless you're murdered, then you have like zero character in that case. But I don't know what the teller. I think it's fine. What do you think? I think from ages 21 to 24 are probably going to be the worst apartments you live in. Yeah. But it's just not going to go perfectly, right? So I think this is how you learn about life. This is it, right? The counter would be unless you were murdered as you were sleeping would be the counter. Yeah. Don't get murdered. Don't get murdered. What about aluminum baseball bat under the bed just in case? Yeah. You know what? I will. Just go to, yeah, just go to the exported goods or something. Just get. For the aluminum, because the wood could break, the aluminum, he gets some good swings, maybe get like a, you know, he figures out what he could get like three or four good wax in. I like that. But then maybe he's one of the evil spirits, my son is with the aluminum bat that's being warded off. I don't know. It gets complicated. I know what you're saying, though. My parent corner. So we've been talking a lot about getting another dog and it's a, it's, you know, because Ben's going to college in January. And then when he goes, he's got first semester, second semesters over in the summer in London, third sem, like he's just going to be gone. And then Zoe is going to be graduating and probably staying in Boston. So it's like, if we're ever going to bring another dog in this, might be around the time. And my wife doesn't want to do it. But then every time I look over, she's on like pet finder looking for rescue dogs and all the stuff. So I had the, we got, we got Merf, we, we have multiple rescue dogs, but we got Merf from a breeder because we want a golden retriever. And so that same one, we're talking about maybe getting another golden retriever because even though Merf's a sociopath, he's been a great dog for the most part. We love Merf. And I would have the of a litter. So there was a litter that was allegedly coming. And we've been arguing about it the whole time because I'm like, well, if she has a litter, we could get a girl and then Merf would have a playmate and two goldens. And my wife's like that, no, we'd have another Merf. This would be the worst thing we ever did. We'd end up getting divorced. This would be a nightmare. So we just argue about it and then we go back and forth. So anyway, it turns out the litter, the puppy never got pregnant. Oh, so there's no litter. So we thought like maybe in December. So we're like, okay, that was God deciding we're not getting a dog. So what happens over the next, I don't know, five, six days? I've noticed my wife a few times like checking out Instagram stuff. There's this dog. She wants to, so now she's like, if we get a dog, it has to be a rescue dog. And I was like, well, we got these two other rescue dogs and, you know, I feel like we did our rescue dog, but she's like, no, we got to do that again. That's got to be what it is. And this is kind of all we talk about now is about whether we get a dog or not. I don't know what happens when your kids go to college, but this is just, it's just a nonstop never ending argument about whether we should get a third dog or not. Why not? Why, what's your con against the rescue? Obviously great to rescue dogs. I'm all for it. And we, and we've had a couple that, yeah, yeah, go ahead, yeah. The counter is sometimes the body language isn't great. And the kind of assume the body language is in the house of the rescue dog, right? Like the rescue dog has, it's always like, are you leaving? Is this going to be it? Are you coming back? Yeah. Where it's like the dog that's been there since it was a puppy. Just as like Murph thinks he's as much owner of the house as we are. Like he's just like, hey, I'm going to bed. I'm just like right in the middle of the bed. Whereas the rescue dogs are always just a little nervous, like they're gonna get a band it again. And you've had it. You've had a bunch of them too. We have one, too. My dog rescue dog won't eat unless my wife is at them. She's out of town. That's like, all right. He's not eating. I'm like, all right, stupid. I'm the one who walks you. Why you just. You know, you should be. Anyway, you're right. Yeah, emotionally, they're a little. But the rescue dog thing is the right thing to do. And I think that's what we'll end up doing because there's so many dogs that need a home. Right. We're kind of gradually getting there, but I think it has to be a puppy so that at least we can get them early and try to. See, to me, that's the dilemma, the puppy. Well, that's the pain it is. This is my wife's case. Like, are you going to be getting up? Are you going to be the one getting up in three in the morning? It's like, well, I don't have a job. The puppy could cause it to force more than even just the dog. The whole. Do you get a rescue or not? Well, then there's this thing where you send the dog away for like three weeks. So get trained and everybody who does it says it's the best. But that kind of feels like cheating. Like, we wouldn't do that with humans. We had a daughter. We sent her away. We get her back when she turns, too. It's three weeks. That's not that bad. You're getting. So you immediately send them. You get to know them for like a couple of weeks and then send them away. Now, here's what. Yeah, that's what happens. But here's what's going to happen. We're not going to end up getting the third dog. Oh. And I just know how it's going to play out. It's not going to happen. And we'll just ride it out in Murph and Jesse. Jesse's like 13, but in great shape. But at some point, if Jesse, you know, if that, if Jesse, it goes in the wrong direction and we only have one dog. This is all. My wayph will. There's no way we will have one dog. Right. So I think that's how this plays out. But my point is we spent a lot of time and I just wasted a whole parent corner talking about it. And I don't even think we're getting a dog. We're like the charger sideline. We're calling timeouts and we've run out of timeouts and we don't even have a plan. You'll get one within the next two years. Sorry to say, but. Well, the dog I really want and a dog that's, you can't really adopt because it's too hard to. Nobody. There's no rescue version of these, at least that I don't know. But I really love Newfoundland's. Oh, yeah. And we've argued about that a lot. I've always wanted one. But they drool. And they have like, they, you know, and that's going to. And my wife's like, well, yeah, you'll like it until he drools all over your shirt right as you're about to do a podcast. It's always about like ruining a podcast. Like, look how I'm dressed now. Right. But I've always liked those dogs. I've always, I've always wanted one. That's kind of the. My cousin Katie has one and it is just non-stop-truly. They will walk. It won't, it won't fall a lot of times. They'll walk with it around the house and, you know, it's just a much different. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of cool. So does she like it? Yeah. Yeah. But she has three, three dogs too. Gigantic dogs. So they're just in it to win it. Three gigantic ones. Yeah. Why don't you just buy the mariners? Maybe that's what I'll do instead. Talk to her about that after this. Maybe I'll buy the OAS sparks. Yeah. I'll get involved in an ownership group. Try to save them. I'll be there. That or a Newfoundland. What are the other? That was today's parent corner brought to you by Paypal. More security is always a win in the new Paypal app as you cover with Paskies, Biometric, Security Plus, purchase, protection, and eligible items all working together. So you're safe every step of the way. Download the Paypal app to get started, see paypal.com/protectionterms. Emmys tomorrow night. I was just going to say, yeah, come on, let's just win one for Jimmy Kimmel live. Everyone within the sound of my voice vote for Jim, although these people can't vote. No, the votes are in. What's so long in? Yeah. Is he favorite, do you think? Oh, no, no, no. No, they, well, the technical Emmys are precursor and co-bear one, most of those. And if you look on some of these sites or whatever, yeah, it's a long shot. But the voting's weird this year and you could tie or something. You could share the award, maybe. That's more of a possibility. But he's not favorite. He's share the award. Who? That's ridiculous. That'd be a tie. That's very, I don't get it. It's a long thing. But. So we weren't nice. So we weren't nice? Yeah. Is he doing his show tomorrow? No. No, they're off tomorrow. No, show. All right. Yeah. Yeah. The Emmys were five Pacific. Well, good luck to him. You're going to be on. Yeah. You're going to be on, uh, Ring or Wise guys, what day is this week? Tate, Raheem, Tony Tokens, Joe House and myself for, uh, tomorrow and then Tuesday and Thursday and our big week two preview on Friday. Always fun. The first preview was great. Oh, you liked it. Okay. Good. Yeah, it was good. I actually liked having him more on a Friday than you guys doing it on Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. Like to having, you know, 40 hours to kind of. That's nice. Listen to it. It was interesting though. House was basically doing the same bits he did on the Thursday night part of the day, the same bits. It was like watching the pop back with John stud patch of the New York were the backbreaker and then it goes to Boston and I saw the same match. So I don't know. He's got to work on that. I don't know if he could have the same ending for the match. Well, it might be a different audience. So much like the wrestling. Yeah. You still love that too. Don't we just talk about that? Andre, the giant and the ultimate warrior. They did. Yeah. The squash match. Yeah. Because Andre couldn't wrestle. So they would just go around the country and worry it would beat him. 90 seconds. Same three moves. And every every time it would be this new thing in the city, but nobody knew. I was thinking if I was in the mid 80s, if you had told me all the wrestling would someday be available and basically like a TV that looked like this, that I could just hold up and watch every match from the 80s on my command like what my reaction would have been. I think I don't I just would have had so many more questions. Yeah. Like is there basketball too or football games on there? What about letterman episodes? Everything. Yeah. And then everything. But you'll probably get it and followed in a you know, he's stuck in a dog adoption algorithm and then that's what you end up watching. Yeah, we're just not gonna end up getting one. It's gonna have to be I'm kind of glad I put it out there because then maybe somebody will hear and be like, oh my god, when next poor neighbor has a letter or a newfoundland's coming. Yeah. There's two left. You can get in on it. Yeah. Get a junkyard dog. Get a British bulldog. Get a bulldog puzzle there. Short fat dog, the dynamite kid. Yeah. All right. That's it for the pod. So thanks to Gau and thanks to Eduardo. And I always forget to thank Chris Waller, so he's unsung and the winner. Yeah, he's really we have a great, great awesome crew beyond the scenes. But thanks to him. Thanks to Jack Wilson, who's probably working tonight even though he's pretend he's not. He's the second best. Yeah, we have a lot of best. We have a lot of great people at the ranger. Sal, I will see you next Sunday after whatever the NBC game is. As always, good job by you. Good job by you buddy. Thanks everybody at Netflix. Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus and president DC Kentucky or Wyoming opt to require bonus issued as nom drawbook profit boost tokens restrictions apply, including any token expression, max wage or amount. See terms at sportsbook.fender.com. Game prom called 100 gamble or 1 800 by reset call 888 7977777 or visit ccpg.org/chat and communicate or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma.org or call 800 327 50 50 for 24 seven sport Massachusetts or call 877 8 hope and why or text hope and why in New York for Louisiana call 877 770 7867.