The Single FASTEST Way to Speak With Confidence: Public Speaking Hacks

Now, when you're hearing this, you might think, well, it's not me I have to trust. It's my audience. I don't trust them to react the way I want them to. I don't trust them to receive my idea. I don't trust them to respond in a way that's professional. Now, you might be saying this to yourself. I don't trust my audience. But at the end of the day, you don't have control over what your audience does. You don't have control over whether or not they like your idea or whether they agree with it. I'm Dr. Grace Lee and you're listening to the Career Revisionist podcast for executives, team leaders, people and managers, and ambitious professionals from all backgrounds. It's for those among us who can't stay stagnant and admire anyone who demonstrates exponential growth. We challenge ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and into higher levels of leadership. And we are determined to rise confidently in our industry so that we can make our greatest contribution using our knowledge and expertise. We have worked hard to become great at what we do, but only so we can achieve the goals that give our lives meaning and purpose. And while we persevere through a college education to get us here with our technical skills, we understand that to get to the next level where we desire to be, it requires a different kind of skills. And we're not comfortable with failure because we experience satisfaction when we are advancing. And while some of us work well under pressure, all of us perform the best when we are part of a winning team. And instead of just hoping to achieve what's important to us, we choose to become a more optimized version of ourselves to make it happen. We're not just A players. We are A+ players. And we are the source of consistent output that makes positive advancements in the world around us. There are so many tips and tricks on how to become more confident in public speaking. But if you do not understand this one concept, then all of those citizen strategies will not work. As an executive communications trainer, one of the most common questions that I ask is how can I become more confident when I'm speaking? And the flip side of that is the reason why there is a lack of confidence is because there are fears associated with public speaking. And then the other side of that is the reason why there are fears associated with public speaking is because there is considerations that if I do speak in public, then what is the response going to be? What is the response from my audience? What are the outcomes going to be from that? And so all of these things come into play in the experience of fear of public speaking. So what I want to share with you today is what is the simplest understanding, the concept, the one concept in order for you to achieve that confidence? Now, understand when it comes to achieving confidence, becoming confident, it is a continuum rather than a destination. It's a continuum. Because sooner or later after you achieve confidence in one domain, there's another domain where you kind of feel a little bit less confident. And soon after you achieve confidence in that other domain, there's another domain or another area or another topic in which you feel a slightly a lack of confidence in comparison relative to it. So confidence is a continuum. And as soon as you receive confidence, for example, speaking up in meetings, then the next level of presenting in communication could be presenting in front of an audience of a hundred. And even though you are confident speaking up in meetings, sometimes now speaking in front of an audience of a hundred people, there's a lack of confidence. So you can see it can appreciate that confidence is a continuum. It is not a destination. So if you're somebody who desires to achieve that confidence, it's important to understand the mindset that is required to become confident is that it is a journey and not a destination. If you have the concept that it's a destination, once you have arrived, I'll be confident in all domains that understand that you're going to be disappointed. It is a continuum. It is a journey and not a destination. The growth towards confidence is never over. There's always something more to learn. There's always something more challenging to do. There's always someone greater to become. Because if you're not growing, you're dying. So this is the continuum. So let's look at confidence itself. And you take the word confidence and you break it up into its substituents. You have the word confide as the root word to confidence. So what does confide mean? Confide is related to trust. If I confide in you, that means I trust you. If you confide in me, that means you trust me. It is not possible to confide in someone unless you trust them. So this is where the building, the concept of becoming confident comes from. It involves trust. So the question becomes, well, who do you trust? And the answer is you must trust yourself. So what do I mean by that? Trust yourself. To be congruent that what you say is going to be what you do, that your thoughts are congruent with your words, that your words are congruent with your thoughts, that what you say is congruent with what you will do, that your actions are congruent with your thoughts and that are congruent with your words. So your communications, that would you speak outwards, that which people hear from you, your public communications is congruent with what is on the inside. That congruency is the most important thing to achieve in confidence because in that moment when you are congruent from the inside out, which you say on the outside and who you are on the inside, if those are congruent, then you can trust yourself. You can trust yourself that whatever you say is your bond, whatever you say, your word is your bond and others can trust you as well. Because if you think about it, a lot of times we make promises. We set goals and we say we're going to do a thing and then we don't and then we procrastinate or we put it off to the wayside or we do the complete opposite. And over time when this happens subconsciously we end up not trusting ourselves. We don't trust ourselves. What have we set our goals to? Did he? It's a subconscious thing whether you're aware of it or not. So over time when there is a lack of trusting in oneself and what we say, how we set goals, what we tell others that we're going to do, then that results in a lack of confidence. Now when you're hearing this you might think, well, it's not me I have to trust. It's my audience. Now you might be saying this to yourself. But at the end of the day you don't have control over what your audience does. You don't have control over whether or not they like your idea or whether they agree with it or whether or not they feel a benefit to it. You cannot control those things but you can control whether or not you can trust yourself. So if your confidence depends on being able to control how others react. If your confidence depends on being able to trust another person depending on what they do or what they say, then can you see how it's an impossible situation to become confident? However, if your confidence depends on you and how congruent you are with what you say and what you do and what you think the seed from the inside produces the fruit on the outside, is that is how you live your life and there's congruency. That is 100% within your control. And now it is possible. It is feasible to be able to achieve confidence. So be careful of your conditions in which you become confident. This stems from the one concept of confidence stemming from congruency and congruency requiring trust at oneself. So this is the most important concept to understand beginning your journey to becoming a confident individual. [Music]