The Shroud of Turin : Jesus is real | History Hyenas

All right, guys, we got a great episode about the shroud of terrain. We are back to history and we are back to going wild buckle up. This is a wild one. It's a wild one. And I guarantee you you are going to convert to Christianity after you hear it. It's a wild one. But before you do, you can catch me on the road in Boston, April 17th and 18th. West Ny Act weekend after that. Emmaus Pennsylvania after that. East Hampton on July 8th, New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th and 18th. Philadelphia, August 14th, 15th. And then Austin, Texas, August 21st to 23rd. Get your tickets at YannisPapa's comedy.com. Most importantly, you have to go to patreon.com/historyhyenas to really catch up with the boys. We go wild on there, bonus episodes every week. You get our episodes, a day early, uncensored and ad-free. It's only the best way to do it. It's amazing. It's organic. And listen all the way through this episode because the two patreon names that come down to the wire, we couldn't even pick them so the fans are going to pick them only at patreon.com/historyhyenas. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of history hyenas. I'm Chris C.D., that's Yannepi. Today we're going to be talking about the shroud of terrain because make absolutely no mistake. Jesus was real. And now we've even gotten Yannis to accept Jesus into his life. And we're going to go back to history and we're going to talk about the shroud of terrain because Yannis has told me that he now believes. I did not say anything like that but it's hard to not. This is not another episode. It's one long episode. I don't want to live in the life of form anymore. I want to make up my own rules. I want to live like it's a DMT trip. And there's no walls. There's no separation between me and you. There's no difference between me and Nick. There's no difference between nothing. There's no difference between genders. We're all the same. We're made of the same stuff. I want to do DMT. You want to do DMT? Now have you added a chain? Well, one of them broke and I got a new one from Case. Yeah. And that broke ten times and then I went and got this one soldered back together. It's what it's overpaid for. It's what it is because and you shaved and you got a haircut. Yeah, does that make you fucking furious that I have no facial hair? Yeah, because the fact you have no facial because I'm not going to allow you to shave when you're this fat. It just does it work, right? Because you got a fat face and curl arms. Yeah, if I'm not going to have a beard, I really got to tighten up the jawline. It's either one or the other. Either you start taking right a true tie and other GLP1 peptides to lose some weight or you grow out your beard. Okay, I want you to grow out your beard like you're living in Jesus' time. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do the whole episode like this just so I could tuck in my clock clock. Yeah, because I got a clock clock clock clock. I'm going to get my face lifted like Joey Camass. I'm going to get everything. I'm going to get a penis implant. I want to get hair tits even though I don't, I want fucking hair down to here. Because your hair actually looks the best it's looked in a very long time. It looks great. I want to snort peptides. Yeah. Can you snort peptides? You can do whatever you want. They have nasal sprays. Yeah. You nasal spray peptides. You can do subcutaneous, subq, whatever you'd like to do. Have you gotten any results from your peptides? No. Yeah, okay. Nothing yet. I'm just tired all the time. It's not working. Same thing when I take creatine. It's like I take it. I don't feel no different. Well, but you have to, it's all peptides creatine. All these things, you have to continuously do that. You have to do it for a while. How long have you been taking creatine for? Whenever I can remember that's the gummy form. No, see, that's the problem. What you got to do is get five milligrams thrown in your coffee or your smoothie in the morning because the gummy is the problem with the gummies is there's no way to know how much creatine is actually in that gummy or eating because they just they make it like gelatin. So the powder, you got to know what you're doing. All I need truly is the spirit of Christ. He's in you. A doctor. Yes. And a glass of water with lemon. And I'm fucking ready. I'm a rocket ship ready to take off. Now, cause I want to hit the streets like a tilted bird. Yeah, like a tilted bird. When you couldn't wake up in the morning for school with your mom to throw a little regano on you. That's so stupid. Yeah. That's all it is. Yeah. You got to do to a Greek is put a little oregano. And then you start to go. Is it a foot of certain cultures really take to certain spices? Yes. Like a paprica or whatever, like the Indians really took to that. They like that. They like that. They really like that. Um, we took to the Greeks took to a regano big oregano big, big, big, big. And the Italians really took to garlic, garlic, and then the Puerto Ricans took to a dobo. They took to a dobo. Huge. Oh, sasson. And the Mexicans really took to like peppers like jalapenos, jalapenos they like, um, and Chinese. What are the Chinese like? They like. They like. They like big. They like big. They're big into it. They're big into it. Yes. Into it. That's what it is. That's what it is. They're big into it. Yes. Into it. And the Japanese. Now they took big to soy, to soy, soy and salt and sodium and they took big to M.S.G. Yes. And the Japanese like a little plutonium. They're like a little way song she aims. It's a little spice. Sorry. Yeah. It was a cultural exchange. We gave them a little plutonium. Yeah. They gave us the noodle. It wasn't nice. It calmed them down and got them acting different. It wasn't nice that we did that, even though it was a long time ago. It wasn't nice. It wasn't a nice thing. But it did get them liking us. It did get them liking us now. We did build them up like the Marines. We broke them down to build them back up. That's what it is. Now, Pambondi has been let go as the attorney general of the United States. It happened a few days ago. So that means she will be on this podcast next week. We, she will be making the rounds pretty soon. Yeah. Pambondi. I don't know. She just got fired while we were recording. If you want to hear more about it, go to patreon.com/historyhighenas where we're going to talk about Pambondi and how she can absolutely 100% get her boop slurped. Glad for you. She's a cutie. She's a cutie. I like it. Now, because you texted me the other day, I didn't know where and you said, "Do you want to do the shroud of Turin big?" Yeah. And I said, "Wow. You want to do the shroud of Turin? Why do you want to do the shroud of Turin? What made you go peowing about Jesus?" Yeah. It definitely. I started reading about the shroud of Turin. How? I got to tingle big. How did it give you the tingle? What happened? It came across my feed. Okay. Yeah. I'm a kid who likes to spend a lot of my time just going down K-holes. Right. And then I just start trying to read about stuff because I get interested. So this is interesting. Oh, it actually came because recently it was actually a post article, a New York post article. Okay. They put out a post where they have some new information on the shroud of Turin. Turin? Shroud of Turin. Sorry. It's Turin Italy. It's owned by the Vatican. It's behind like sealed glass, bulletproof glass, no air getting into it. You can't. I don't even think you can see it. Only the people at the Vatican can see it, right? It's in like their vault. Yeah. It's like guarded bit. Right. So you're going on what is the shroud of Turin? Well, the shroud of Turin is either a medieval forgery or the actual linen cloth that wrapped Jesus after he was executive. Crucified. It was executed. Yeah. Right. Right. That's what they say. Let's just start off by digging deep on what you believe about the shroud of Turin because I knew you. I know you read the case for Christ and I know you grew up your whole life just being told he was real to the point where you started tattooing him all over your body. 100%. You have a big cross. You have a Roman execution on your back. Yeah. And you know that. And you're all in. I'm all in because I am a soldier in the army of God and I am absolutely down to dig because you know me. I'm a digger. Ways I'm seeing. You're an absolute. You act like a digger. I'm a digger. And when it comes to shroud of Turin, I'm a big humongous digger. Please you set me a video what you were taking a walk in your neighborhood and your neighborhoods a little dinged out a little dinged up because I love my neighborhood. I do love my neighborhood and it's nice down by the water. And then I sent Yani a little video will put it at patreon.com such history hyenas because I made a left turn looking down by the water. And then I said, oh, did I step on a magical sewer cap and am I in Tehran right now? I thought maybe I was in Tehran and I started ducking for cover. There was a couple of ladies who were wrapped up. Yes. And we're going to see that much like the shroud of Turin. I thought maybe they were wearing the shroud of Turin on them, but then on further inspection, they weren't and find no problem. But we will talk about at patreon.com such history hyenas. So what do you know about the shroud of Turin and just what made you go absolutely wild and what made you believe? Was there one fact that stuck out that we're like, okay, now I believe. Now I'm in. All right. So here's all the facts about the shroud of Turin. It pops up in France in about the 1300s, right? Some descendant of a French, what you might call it, like a crusader. Oh, it was a descendant, it shows up being owned by the descendant of a French crusader. Okay. which is very interesting 'cause there was another shroud supposedly in Constantinople. - Okay. - Where they used to, a church there, used to display it all the time. And then it disappeared. So you go and is that the same shroud? - Interesting. So does it been proven if it don't know? - Okay. - They don't know. They just know one disappeared and then one ended up in France. But during the medieval times, there was a lot of churches saying they have some sort of artifact, so they would attract believers and followers to come. And you know, it was a nice market. It was a nice fucking, you know, you gotta know the algorithm. - You gotta know the algorithm. - That was the no your algorithm of the time. It's like we got an artifact and then your seats were full. - Your seats were full. It was the stand up fucking crowdware clips of its day. - Right, and this was in like, the honest at the 13th century. Now, somewhere along the line in the 14th or 15th century, it did fall in to Jewish hands temporarily and it was returned. We did get it back, but it was a whole cut in two. - Five more days. (laughs) - So the stuff that we have about Lany. - They have a call cut into it, but that's neither here nor there. - Yeah, if they get their hands on the sheet, they like to put a hole in it. - They want to put a hole in it. - Yeah, they like to stick their dicks through hole. - That's just what it is. I bet you if I went to Jesse's house, it's got a lot of holes in those sheets. - Yeah. (laughs) - Way so much to eat. (laughs) - So it shows up in France, right? And then we get to modern day. - But wait, wait. - So it's in France, also this shroud they really found it, the first time they ever 3D image this thing. And actually so it was found accidentally, I believe in 1898 by a photographer, the negative. 'Cause they have the cat. - So the Catholic Church has it, right? So the Catholic Church has had it for a long time. So the Catholic Church have it and then there's dude in like the 1890s something, photographs it for the first time. - Right, so keep, you know, think about that. They have this shroud that to the naked eye is just a shroud. It doesn't, it's just, what you can see the image, but it's like, it doesn't look. It just looks like it's a faint image of a man and a body. - Right, yeah, it's faint. You can't see, or only on the negative. - Right. - Or what was modern day, for talking back then, can you actually see, not only do you see the face, you see the blood, you see, it's his whole body. It kind of correlates with where he was hit with the whips, where he was stabbed. All these things pop up on the shroud on 3D imagery. - Right, and so the guy looks at the negative and, you know, in negatives, the light becomes dark, the dark becomes light. And when that happened, a full figure emerges and the figure has, you know, has beat up. One of his cheeks is swollen from being his nose is broken. He's got blood around his head from where a crown would be. You know, it's two sides, it too. So like, on the bottom is the back of the guy, 'cause they rip it forward. And it's got all the scarred marks from the Roman whips on it. It's got the blood in the wrists and the heels. Now here's the interesting thing. We're gonna jump around a little bit here. - Yeah, but that's what it is. We're the history of how you do it. - History of how you do it. We're gonna hop around like a little buddy Fufu. - It's what it is. - So, but I just wanna say this one point, then we can hop back, we can hop forward. But they found one crucifixion victim from the time of Jesus in Jerusalem, okay? They found it on the ground, whatever, right? And it was a heel bone, right? And the nail went in the heel, right? So the Romans actually did the executions with the nails in the wrist, but all the medieval art and a lot of Christian iconography, you see the nails going in the hand. - Right, which was rare. - And the feet, not the heel, right? But the shroud of terrain has the nails in the heel matching historical accuracy of where the Romans would have put it, but medieval artists at the time would not have known. - Right, so there you go. - They were putting it in the hands and they were putting it in the feet. Even when you think about all the old Christian paintings, the nail always goes in the foot. Now it didn't go in the hands because that tissue's too soft and it would rip it off. - It would rip it off. - It would rip it off as they say in the world. So that's like an interesting thing going like, how would this quote unquote artist who created this forgery? How would he have known that that was, it doesn't go in the feet, it goes in the heel? - One thing is undebatable. If you believe in the shroud of terrain and you see this image that we have up here of the negative image of the shroud of terrain, one thing is undebatable after looking at this image, is that-- - There's no such thing as undebatable, but I like it. - Yeah. - The word is not debatable, but I like undebatable. - One thing that is not debatable. - No, it's undebatable. - One thing that is not, one thing that is undebatable is when you look at that picture, as you know, one thing that Jesus was a Jew. - You can see that guy is a Jew. - I can see, I mean, that is our shuffeeer right there. - That's a Jewish person. - That's a kid who definitely has a minivan with 10 kids and a wife with a wig on. - I mean, that's, that's Ari Shafir's Jew. - Yeah, he's a Jew. - And so is Jesus. I mean, that's the face in the shroud right there. - Ari's face looks like the happy merchant meme, and there's nothing you could do about it. - Ari, if I put a shroud over Ari, people would start to wail and say, "That's Jesus." - That's what happened. - So yeah, it's interesting. So, so they, you know, and then in the nine, - Yeah, go back to it, just. - So it has all these details, there's blood around the wounds, the swollen cheekbone, which you can tell in the negative. - 'Cause it got tuned up a little bit by the Roman told us. - Which is interesting. There's a lot of details that come across. Also, they do, they use technology. In the 80s, it was given the most access and a team of scientists went to Turin. A whole bunch, like 30 or 40 different scientists with different specialists came to experiment on the shroud of Turin. And what they found was, and it was documented by this atheist Jewish dude. - Right. - Who documented it and was there to document what all the scientists were doing. He ended up becoming a believer. 'Cause, and he was still skeptical. But he's saying like, this is, I was, my intention was to go there and like, he was doing all types of gigs where he became a really well-known photographer and he was documenting a bunch of stuff. And he went there and he was like, I was gonna do this gig and it would be cool to photograph a historical relic. You know, like a piece of art, a forgery, that was a piece of art, but it's still a historical rug. And he left being like, these things, it's like, these are not explained. - Right. - So what they found was, it also has 3D, the imprinting the image is made by something that was 3D dimensional. Because the darker parts are farther away and the lighter parts are closer, which means that it was, whatever created, it was a 3D object. It wasn't painted on there one dimensionally. You know what I'm saying? So like, it was laid on something. - Yeah, again, so a medieval artist could have never created this type of art. There was no way that it's possible, even if it was faded, it just can't happen. So, they also matches the exact dimensions that ancient Jewish burial law, same dimensions as far as the size of it. Also, it was, you can't mix wool and cheese. By Jewish, ancient Jewish law, you can have cotton and linen I think, but you can't mix linen and wool. - Okay. - And that is also correct. Now, here's another mysterious thing about it. It only is on like a nano, whatever they call, of the top layer. It's so thin on the linen. - Okay. - The imprint is so thin on the linen that no recreation has been able to accomplish all the elements of it together. They haven't been able to recreate how thin the image is. It's just a little, it's made of darker spots, wherever it touched, either a sculpture. So, now they're at the point where they go, the people who think it's a forgery have concluded, it was a sculpture that they put and then heated it up or did some oil shit and like put it on, but even when they recreated it, it still went deeper than this image. So, it still has some mystery to it. And honey, when they went even deeper, I think it's more recent, they were able to somehow extract some of the dirt that was on the shroud and they found that it corresponds with some of the dirt that would have been found in that part of the world during those times. And they found it on the tip of his nose, in addition to other places, but the old's found it in his nose, which would correlate with him falling into the dirt when he was on his way to get crucified. - Right, but there's also a problem with that because he was a Jewish guy. So being a Jewish guy, his body could have been his friends, but his nose could have been in Jerusalem. - That's true. - It could have reached. - It's a good point. - So that also was brought out. - Yeah, that's a good, good point. And they've also factored all that in. - They've got a factor that in. - Now, I mean, it's one of those things where, you know, at the end of the day, you can make anybody believe anything you want. Like, remember, we all believe making a murderer when we all believe that that guy Stephen Avery was innocent and then you find out that like he absolutely killed that person. - Right. - And he, cause you just do a little bit of the research and you find out like he was killing animals and he's a psycho. And they found, I think, a little bone remnants in his bonfire. He was a murderer, but the documentary did a great job of convincing you that there's not. With the shroud of terrain, there is no opinion. It's just hard evidence. They're like, we know for a fact this corresponds with this date. As you said, these nanolayers correspond with, there's nothing that could do that. So, to me, it's not even, it's really not even a debate. Its science has proven that it can't be art. So if it can't be art, what is that? They haven't concluded that, but the skeptics still say we just haven't figured it out yet. We haven't been able to recreate all the elements at the same time that produces. They've been able to come close, but they have, like you said, they have not been able to get the image that thin on the linen, and so they can't explain it. Now there's some wild theories. So first, let's just say that it was deemed a forgery in the 80s, even bishops in the Catholic Church were saying it's a forgery because they did carbon dating. They took a little piece of the corner, they took a little piece of the corner, and they carbon dated it, and it went back to the 1300, so they said, oh, it's a forgery. Now they did some more DNA testing on like fibers all over it, and they saw DNA from all populations in the Middle East, China, animal DNA. I mean, which means it's traveled a lot, and it's also been handled by a lot of people. And I could mess up the carbon dating. It's just all, yeah, it's very contaminated, it's very old, so it's very hard to tell. But also there's this claim that it was held in a place, and there was a fire in 15-something. No, 13-50, I thought, right? Oh, no, you're right, 15-something, I'm sorry. So there was a fire in some of it. 15-32. And then some nuns, which they know, repaired it, right? So what they're seeing, maybe they took a corner from the repaired part. So people, the last thing is like, hey, we take one from the middle, or somewhere else, and let's solve this. But, you know, you'd have to cut it out, right? You'd have to cut a piece out, and the Catholic Church, the Vatican, you know, is in control of it, so they would have to allow-- And they don't want to do that. They don't allow that. They allowed them once in the '80s when all these scientists went, and they came up with all this wild, you know, they were like, holy macro. They also see, you know, folds in it. They see that it was, so we're at the point now where, if you believe it's a forgery, there was only way, one way it was a forgery. We know it wasn't painted on. It was imprinted with a 3D, with a 3-dimensional object like that. So if you think it's a forgery, you think a sculpture, it was a sculpture, and that sculpture, the guy went to all these details to do the nail, the, he put fake blood on the, or real blood or whatever the fuck, because actually I think found some hemoglobin, but it's contested or something. Right. You'd have to put all the hundred lashes on his back. You'd have to-- It's a lot. Which is possible, but you're going like, how fucking genius was this guy that re-created it? Yeah, because back then, autism didn't even exist yet. Yeah, exactly. You know? They didn't have any of this technology like, to fool-- why would you go to this extent to fool people who already believe? You don't need to do all these fucking details. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense, and it's just kind of to the point now where I just firmly believe, and I've been saying this, that, you know, Jesus was real, okay? The stories that we hear about Jesus were real, I really believe in my heart that he did everything they say he did, and he was the guy that they said he was, because why? Make cuts. Let me ask you this. X me. Why? Why during Jesus' time? First of all, all the things that were written about him were written within 20 years of him dying. A lot of other people in history like Alexander the Great were written 200, 300 years after they died. That's it. That's it. It was 20. Just to be specific. The only thing was Paul's letters. Yep. It was 20 to 30 years. And Paul's new dudes who knew Jesus. Right. The other ones were written probably by, like, Christian followers, but it was all based on shit they heard. All different parts of the world, all different parts, all different parts of that country all said the same thing. And the other big thing is even the Roman soldiers who were on the other side, they were the ones who killed him. Even they said he resurrected and he wasn't in the tomb after. So why? The incentive is why would why lie? Why are they lying? Why would the Roman soldiers lie? Why would the Jewish people during the time? Why would Peter and them lie? They knew he was going to, they were going to die for it. Well, you're framing it in a very incredulous way. Are you asking me why Jews would lie? Waysong Sheehan. Yeah. Why would they lie? Why? Because sometimes they like to use a little methods that trick, you know? Yeah. Sometimes you buy a beep or you don't know it's gotten explosive in it. Waysong Sheehan. So they're into a little sorcery. They just do what they do. They do what they got to do to survive. Because it's been a while since you told me about your rock hard piece. How do you do it? Guys, I have two words for you, blue, chew. I, the only way that I can keep this cock nice and hard is with blue chew gold. It dissolves under your tongue and it works and has little, it's 15 minutes because you know me, I get a little scared, swallowing pills because I think I'm going to choke. That's why I do blue chew gold. You get it quicker and stay in the game longer elevation without hesitation. Because my dick's hard right now and if forever will be because of blue chew. All you got to do is go check out our special deal. It's only for our listeners. You get 10% off your first month of blue chew gold with the code hyenas. That's promo code hyenas visit blue chew dot com for more details and safety information and we thank blue chew as always for sponsoring us. I got a story to tell you. Tell me. I'm a vacation. I'm a 34 way snout and you know I'm lying. Yes, I was just going to say 34 in your dreams. I have to say right now, chubbies is coming in handy because remember they sent us the chubby shorts. Oh, yeah. It's the only ones that fit. Yeah, chubbies are the best shorts cause for guys got little thick asses like us. It's a true story. I only have one pair of shorts for this vacation in chubbies. If you're hidden, the pool or the beach, their classic line swim collection that Yanni has does your new favorite trunks for those summer days. We're talking seriously soft, dangerously flexible because you got to be dangerously flexible for a kid like Yanni and incredibly quick drying swim trunks. That's what I love about my chubbies too. They dry in like five minutes of dry. Yeah. So if you want to experience unmatched comfort and style with chubby's iconic original stretch shorts, depending on how much style you're looking to show, chubby's makes them in four inches, five and a half inches and seven inch in seams. These shorts have the stretchies fabric for ultimate flexibility while maintaining a perfectly tailored fit. Yes. Experience unmatched comfort and style with chubbies, iconic original stretch shorts. Go check them out right now whether you're getting dressed for your work day or workout or a weekend getaway. Chubbies has you covered. For limited time, chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off. Nice. 20% off of your order with our code hyenas at chubbies shorts.com. That's code hyenas at chubbies shorts.com. Support our show. Tell them we sent you don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with chubbies. Yeah. So, but just real quick is is my thing with with people who are nonbelievers, you can do whatever you want. But for me, those are the things it was written about in during his time. It's one thing to have your believers say yes, this happened, but the nonbelievers and the people actually killed you if they're saying it's happened, then that means it happened. Well, what did they tell you in Sunday school? I mean, whenever you can remember, they told me for whatever you were conscious for. Father Bill told me to open up. I mean, whatever, when you didn't have to employ like a serious cognitive dissonance or you didn't have an out of body experience and went someplace else because you weren't in a safe place would father Bill, what do you remember? What did they tell you? What I remember, what I remember is what they told me about the, you know, not only the Shroud of Turin, but just Jesus existing in Jesus existing, you know, evidence for him existing is that all the people, all the people who were alive during his time, especially the resurrection, you had over 200 eyewitness accounts. So why would all those people lie? You have to ask why? What's the motivation? What's the incentive for all these people to just make up a story if it wasn't real? By the way, they were, they were up, I was going to say Holocaust deniers. They were resurrection. They were people who denied his resurrection during the time of his life. They were denying it. You do make an interesting point because usually like if you have a cult, right, so these were Jews, right? So Christianity was like a branch of Judaism, masionism was the thing at the time because it's the old Jewish prophecy that the Messiah was coming. So there was a bunch of people claiming to be the Messiah. Usually it died out when they died. But for some reason, when Jesus died, it got bigger. It exploded. Yes. Which is interesting. Yeah. Why? And you had all his disciples who just like were willing to get killed for. There were so many other people. There were so many. There were like 25 or 30 other people in that 100 year span of his life. There were also claiming to be the Son of God in the Messiah's, but their lives just end, their stories end with their lives within a few years. Why does Jesus, why do I have them tattooed on my body right now because it was real? He was real. He definitely was a real guy. He was a real guy. We know that. Yes. Everybody, we know he existed. But the fact that we still talk about him today is because these miracles really happen. Okay. We'll listen to this. and said they did. Now this is what you asked me what blew my mind? - Yeah. - You wanna know what blew my mind? - What blew your mind? - It doesn't take a lot to blow my mind because my head is small. - That's what it is. - So it doesn't take a lot. - It's just really, to blow your head, you gotta really ham or something big thing in. - No. - But for me, it's just one small detail in my head. - Like this? - You just go against it. - And it blows. - It blows, blows it off. - So this was blew my mind. It was called the Innea laser experiment. And this was the closest they've gotten so far. - Okay. - Recreating the image. - So they used Eximer lasers, which were high intensity ultraviolet pulses, fired extremely short bursts, nanoseconds at linen, which produced superficial coloration similar to the shroud. Only effect the top most fibers like the real shroud. No pigment, no burning, no penetration. So the real shroud image has unusual properties, like only colors, the outer most, like I said, 200 to 600 nanometers of fiber. No directionality, no brushstrokes. No pigment or dye appears almost like a photographic negative, which is like we told you. So the ENEA team concluded, here we go, it would require a burst of UV radiation exceeding anything currently possible with modern technology. They estimated equivalent to billions of watts of UV energy delivered an extremely short time from a full human body sized area simultaneously. So that is wild. - So wait, can you explain that in layman's terms? - Yeah, so in layman term, which this is what's mind blowing, and this is where you start going like, whoa, okay? And maybe that's just the whole point, I don't know. But what they're basically saying is, this created, this was the thing that created the image closest to it being thin only nanometers on the surface. Was these bursts of energy. So they're saying in order to replicate that using this method, it would require, what did I say, a billion, what did I say? Whatever the number is, an unbelievable amount of energy would be needed to recreate this. So you go and like, what the fuck? So is that what happened? Like an unbelievable amount of light. Like they were using light. And everyone describes, remember when Paul says, he saw the resurrected cries, and he says it was light, it was lighter, it was midday, and he was brighter than the day. - Yes. - Like everyone says he appeared as light. - Yeah. - So what the fuck? - I'm telling you. - So they would say it would require a burst of UV radiation, which is light, exceeding anything currently possible within modern technology. That's now to recreate the shroud, the image being that thin on the top. So they're basically implying that the kid was fucking resurrected, the light fucking popped through the fucking shroud or something. I don't know. - I'm telling you, cut. - Just a sinner, I don't know. - It's what my mother's been saying, but it's kind of wild. - It is because of science. So listen. - So now do you believe? - Well, listen, none of this proves anything 'cause there's also skeptics that make good points. - Yeah. - But what did the skeptics say? - So the skeptics say the hemoglobin's not proven. There's different elements, there's contamination. It was the big, the skeptics now is like it was a sculpture. So that's what the skeptics say. So they know it wasn't painted on. They know it was imprinted on somehow. And they say they recreated it by taking a, it couldn't have been a live person 'cause it would've been too messy. His head would've been flopped back like this. And it would've, the oils and the, - So they had to be dead. - It had to be like dead or mysterious, right? So they're saying it was a sculpture, a sculptor, and then they put it on the sculptor, the sculpt, they put it on the sculpture and recreated it. And then painted like not paint, I don't know. Did some shit. - Well, wouldn't there be some type of record of somebody making art like that? And there isn't. You know, like what you know what I mean? And let's say with somebody like Jesse, just sculpted it in their fricking, it's sculpted in sunset park in industry city. - Yeah. - So this is what they think. Skeptic suggests a medieval artist created, a medieval artist created the image using pigments, dies, or by dusting a body with iron oxide. And they also go, "Hey, it didn't, there's no, there's no documentation of the shroud existing before the 14th century." That's another thing that it was fabricated, but then you look at who had it, and they found that that guy, that French guy, was a descendant of one of the head. - Templars. - Templars. - Yeah, one of the hide crusades. - And he's saying it's from, well, like I said, there was this shroud in Constantinople that they used to display all the time, right? And hundreds, thousands of people would come and gather when they would display it, and then it disappeared from record. But then this one shows up in France. So you're going, "Is that the shroud?" - Right. - "Is it come from Constantinople?" And if it does, then it goes back farther than medieval times. The only thing that's resting on it, it's being a forgery, like definitely, was the carbon dating. 'Cause carbon dating says it's medieval time. But you're saying, let's try another piece. Well, that's what, that's what the Skeptic, that's what this dude said, the photographer who was documenting the whole thing. But he goes, "Look, I'm still skeptical. He was like, "I'm always a Skeptic." He goes, "But these are things." We just have to admit, we can't explain it. What they need to do, he said, what they need to do is just cut into the middle of this fucking thing, and carbon dating. - But by the way, that also, even that makes me believe even more because the whole foundation of Christianity is faith, you have to have faith, and you will be tested time and time again to test your faith. So they're gonna say, okay, the carbon dating goes back to 1350, if you still believe after that, because you think that maybe they took the wrong piece of shroud, that's what Jesus wants. The real believers will just keep going. You know, like those Instagram posts where they say, "If you scrolled all the way here, congratulations, 95% of people would have stopped to slide too." Well, I'm still scrolling. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm still scrolling, 'cause I'm still, 'cause you know me, I believe for a long time, big. - Well, it's also interesting to think that this is what it looks like without the negative, right? - Yeah, so you can kind of tell. - The guy who ever made this, made it to pop on a photographic negative before photography was invented. - That's what I'm saying. - So it's like, what the fuck? - Yeah, it just seems interesting. - Yeah, he wouldn't even know to do that. I mean, how would he? - Because the only one who would know to do that is a man named Jesus Christ. - So what does this say? Perhaps the most striking find was that 40% of the DNA held back to Indian bloodlines? - Right now, what does that mean? - What does that mean? - Well, this is what this work gets wild. - Because the Romans used to get their linen from India. - Wow. - So this is where it gets wild. - Wow. - So this is where it gets fucking wild. This is science. I'm not saying anything. So that's the thing. Everything matches up to historically accurate. - The size, the linen meets the ancient Jewish burial like all the bearer. Usually they would leave the crucified people up there. These are from historical records. They would just leave them up there. But the Jews would beg because they had strict burial. - Sure, yeah. - Jews would beg to get the body. - Right. - So the reason why they think Jesus was buried is because his followers in Mary Magdalene who probably, it's a good chance. - Banked it out. - Maybe banked it out. - That's what it is. - Who knows? She was a toot. - Yeah. - But I mean, you know, who doesn't love toots? - How? - Especially Jesus. - Yeah, come on. - So the, that was another thing. They go, well, he was buried, but they leave them up there. But then we found this other Jew. See, even I say Jew, it seems weird. They found this other Jew who was buried who was a victim of the crucifix. They found his heal. And so the Jews would beg the Romans to take the body so then they could wrap it in their linen and do their Jewish shit. - And because do you wanna know why I even believe too? It's not only as Jesus come to me in mysterious ways. I even think that's why I have, I explain my killings pain. I think he crucified my feet. I think I have, I think, what I show Jesus my feet. I have crucified feet. - Yeah. - So I think Jesus gives me little hints along the way, little Easter eggs. - Yeah. - That's why you, so you can understand the suffering of Jesus when you walk. That bone coming out, people say that it's unexplainable, podiatrist can't explain it. I think it's a nail coming out of my foot. - It's very possible. Now, here's another interesting thing. There's another cloth, right? So if you look at the gospels, they talk of two cloths. The one cloth was a face cloth that they put on him immediately before the shroud, right? Now there is a, that is called the sun volume. Something like that. You got to look at it just because sun, durian, or whatever. And they have a cloth that they think could be. - So they say it's a wash cloth. It's, but it's not black wash cloth. He didn't wash his ass with it. - Well, I was just gonna say that. - We shouldn't change. - But then they would say that then, then Jesus, 'cause some people say Jesus is black. - Yeah. - So if there was a wash cloth, then we would know he's black. - Yeah, I don't know the ancient Jewish, I don't know if they went bar to soap or if they went wash cloth. I don't know. I like to go a little bit in the middle. I use a luth. - A luth. - I go wash cloth, I wash my body like a black man. - You already told us you put your figure in it, like a fucking clan hood and put it in your ass. - It's what it is 'cause I check the time pressure. - Yeah, 'cause God made you interesting. - Yeah. - You were made with spare parts from God's garage. - It's called the Sudarium of Ovietos. The Sudarium of Ovietos sounds like a Drake album. - So they have this cloth and similarly they go, is this, was this the cloth, right? Now here's the wild shit. The blood markings on that cloth, okay? [BLANK_AUDIO] match the blood markings on the shroud. The patterns are almost the same. And also the blood type is AB, which is very rare and it's on both that and the shroud. So like, and AV is the universal, AB is the universal recipient. So Jesus is always receiving. We think when we're eating the body of Christ, we're receiving Him, but He's receiving us. Jesus is constantly receiving us. He's receiving us. He's receiving us. So Jesus is a bottom, yes. Jesus, we give Jesus strength through us. We are His creations and we give Him strength. So we top Jesus. That's what it is. Yeah. Thank God, Lynn's got the plus one, because you're not getting in without it. Well, Lynn, if you listen and let me tell you, Jesus is totally okay. He hung out with prostitutes, beggars and sinners. The whole place where all sinners, He would be 100% okay with us because we make people laugh. It's what it is. Jesus likes joy. That's what it is. I got caught one day in a police thing when I was with the prostitute. My mom was mad at me. I said, I'm living as Jesus, what? It's the way Jesus went. That's all it is. Yeah. Now, listen, what makes him kind of different from some of these other people who started religions is he did that. Right. He did that. Supposedly, he was so pure, dude. His brother, so there was his brother. He had one brother, maybe he had a bigger family. James, right? James the just. Yeah. Who was like so respected and strict to religious Jewish law. That he got the nickname James the just. Right. You know? And so Mary and Joseph had a baby after Jesus. And supposedly, James was a skeptic of Jesus. He was like, he thought his brother was crazy. Got it. He thought his brother was crazy, right? And then after the fucking, his death for some reason, James the just became the leader of the church. A lot of people think that Paul and James were at odds because James was all about, you got to stick to strict Jewish law. That's through actions that you can serve Jesus and God. And Paul is the one that was like, no, you just need faith in Jesus. Right. Faith in Jesus. So those were the two kind of, the two were kind of at odds, but the two were kind of, James was like the leader of the early Christians was Jesus's brother. A lot of people don't know that. And he was stone to death. Yeah. They treated him like an Iranian too. Yeah. They stoned him to death and then they, they caught off John the Baptist head and then crucified St. Peter upside down, they did him upside down's ease. It's what it is. It's like what I run with my daughter upside down. Yeah. And fortunately Peter got it upside down. They all kind of got, they all kind of got clipped. They all kind of got clipped. They all kind of got clipped and they wouldn't revoke Jesus and they all got clipped for it. All right. Cause I want to give a quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA pet health insurance programs. These people don't play around. So let's just stick to the script. If you've ever found yourself a wake up 2 a.m. Alone in hand, googling things like is this normal for dogs or do I need to call the vet right now? You're not alone. These moments of panic come with pet ownership and they are exactly why ASPCA pet health insurance exists. It helps take the financial question out of the equation. So when something feels off, you could focus on getting your pet the care they need instead of stressing over the cost. I have this from my baby Josephine. Yeah. I use them for both of my dogs. You can, you know, check out the insurance that works for you. It's really good. When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you can get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet. Hey, man, you get yourself insurance and then you get a little treat. It's nice. So all it is. Yeah. So to explore coverage, visit ASPCA petinsurance.com slash hyenas. That's ASPCA petinsurance.com slash hyenas eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA petinsurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Now, ultimately, because do you believe in all you going to welcome your children into the fold of Jesus Christ? What do you think about that? I have. Are you with us or against us? I'm just open to, I'm interested in learning some stuff now that I'm a little older because when you're younger, you don't need this stuff as much, you're not scared to die when you're younger. Yeah. Well, you get older. Maybe I should hedge my back. Hedge my back. Well, I went to Sunday school. I was a alter boy for years. I did all that stuff, but I was a kid. I didn't pay attention to that. Once I was in there and I was doing the coloring book. I was in Sunday school and they were making us color. And baby Jesus was on a cloud. And that's when I was like, I got in trouble because I was like, where is heaven on a cloud? And then they told my parents and the Sunday school teacher was like, I don't think he believes in God. So I was kind of always, and my dad was always skeptical. My mom was like into it, but she was a commie, so it's like, what are you going to take her seriously? Right. Like all commies. Your mom would have liked Stavros' comedy, bitch. She would have been in it. Her and Sergio would have hung tight. My mom was a commie. It's what it is. It was a communist. Sergio was a commie. And much like most commies, she didn't make any money. Yeah, it's what it seems to come hand in hand. Yeah. She didn't make any money. Yeah. She worked helping my dad at the office where he was making money. And then the rest of the time, she was galloping at the UN, trying to save children. It's what it is. There's no way you can save children because of culture. In Egypt, they just say, this is good for the kids. She needs to be separated from her class. It's what it is. When your dad, when I asked your dad, why did you divorce the honest mom? He said, because she was a commie. She was broke. She was way so she ain't. She had a good heart. A lot of times, a good heart. Did just, don't you find them just a little naive? It's like, have you met a person? Yeah. Have you met a person? Yeah, good people. But, you know, like, they look at, they, they're a little controlling, they see the world on paper. They don't live in reality. They, like, they have an illusion. Yeah, it's all ideals. It's like, yeah. Oh, it looks good on paper, but it's not really, it's not good in practice. Yeah, I mean, even when you see, like, Castro campaigning, he was completely lying about what his intentions were. Sure. And like, that's why people start liking, a lot of people don't know that when you look at what's his name from Venezuela when he was, uh, Maduro, no, the guy before, oh, uh, chavez, chavez, when you see chavez campaigning, he says the complete opposite of what he, he goes, well, he don't want socialism. Right. We're not going to do socialism. We're not going to, he's campaigning opposite of what he did. And so it's like, you're saying the people really wanted it? It's always by force. Right. It's always the only way you can get people to sublimate their individuality is by force, by force. Same thing with Islam. If you leave the religion, they kill you. It's what it is. Latter 14. Now some people are saying, well, didn't Donald Trump run on an anti-war platform and now he's bombing Iran, and I'm just going to say, well, that's different. That's a little bit of a coincidence. Different. It's what we call a quinky dick. It, they kind of all do it to a certain extent. Now, look, here's the thing, obviously, let's finish about the, I was going to say, we have all different religions that listen to the podcast. We have believers, non-believers, we'll welcome it all. I'm just saying that things like the Shroud of Turin, all these things, they just reconfirmed my belief. There is a part of Catholicism that was told to me since I was a little baby boy, is there is always going to be a part of Catholicism and Christianity where you just have to have faith. We can't connect all the dots and say, here it is. Everything is proven in the, in so, you know, laid out with all the facts. There is a little bit of a gap and that gap gets filled in by faith, but as my life has went on and as time goes on, these gaps of faith get a little bit, they keep getting proven more accurate. It's not like it's getting, it's not like the Shroud of Turin is, you know, we've proven once and for all that it's not real. We're actually getting closer to saying, no, now we can prove it is real, especially if they take this little piece of the Shroud and they carbonate that and it goes back to you the time that corresponds with Jesus, that would be big, big, big, big, big, yes. But I believe either way, you got to have faith, baby. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, you know, I think a lot of Christians say like, hey, I don't even care if it's a forgery or not. I still have faith or whatever. But for me, I'm looking at it from like a scientific standpoint. It is very interesting to me that, you know, we had pretty good technology in the 80s and that like, you know, 30, 40 something scientists from different fields took a look at this. And even till now, they haven't been able to explain it. That's what I'm saying. That's interesting. So what I'm saying, because you're going like, usually if it's a forgery, you can recreate it. That's what makes something a forgery, right? Right. If I bend a spoon and I go, I did it because I have mental powers and then somebody comes along and bends a spoon and tells you how it's done and shows you it was a trick, then you know it's a trick because this guy showed you how he did it. Yeah. So if you're able to like blow your mind with a trick and then you find out that just mirrored your phone, you say, okay, it's a forgery, that's a great example, right? You could go back in our library and watch it episode with the, it's called the magic frisbee and we know now for a fact that's what he did. It's just wrapped both their phones and he had an app that mirrored the phone. So that's how he was able to guess Nigel and able to guess who's the girl you bang. I forgot, but it still is amazing in mind blowing, but you do know that it's, we know the trick. Right. I can't replicate it. Yeah. I will admit that. Yeah. But we know the tricky. Yeah. It's just, you know, if you see a frisbee, just, you know, tighten your belt and be prepared. It's what it is. It's what it is. So the AB blood type on the Shraddator and the AB blood type on the Sundair, which is the rarest blood type in the world. Yes. It is, it is the AB blood type, AB positive, I believe it is, is the universal recipe answer. They receive the blood. It is the rarest blood type in the world. However, it is, but going along, it is, it was roughly 50%. 100% of the Middle Eastern men during that time had AB blood. Also, but the scientists raised several concerns, blood type in the world. on very old samples is difficult, difficult contamination over centuries as possible. Yes. So, some researchers question whether the stains are fully preserved blood. It's globally rare. Like Chris said, three to five percent of the population has AB blood, but not rare enough to identify one person. It doesn't prove the cloth came from the same person. But it's evident. I mean, this is the evidence that we have. Right. So, it is a little mysterious. Yeah. Yeah. I think that for sure, for sure, it's at least undebatable. It's undebatable. It's undebatable. It's undebatable? Yeah. Is undebatable a word? No, I'm just stupid. Usually, you say it's not the bad. Should we call it undebatable? The name hood? The name hood? That's what should be undebatable. We've got to let them know. I think I'm so smart, but I'm a fucking idiot. An undebatable is a valid English word. If what it is. And I'm going to start using it because I used to go, it's not debatable. I went to Archbishop Malloy high school. They taught me English. But most people do say not debatable. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's more common. But I think that's more common. Yeah. Because you talk proper English words. Undebatable. Yeah. And I think that you, it's not for the skeptics can prove it's not real and the believers can't prove it's real. So therefore, it still remains a mystery. You can't prove it one way or another. So for me, if nothing can be proven false or, you know, true or false, then I, for this, for Jesus, then I still say, well, I'm going true. I'm saying it was the trial of Turin because you can't prove to me it wasn't. And also because you con, you con one and beat the blue devils. Yes. So the evidence continues. For me, the evidence continues because look at, look at that. Sometimes what Jesus will do is he will give you the message. He will give you the answers, but what you get wrong, what I got wrong as you were being, is the instrument of God's love for which I was supposed to be dispensing his message. I chose wrong and Saint John's red storm. I thought that Saint John's was the instrument of love that Jesus was asking me to go forward. But it wasn't Saint John's. What he did was what I mentioned, what he, what, why I like 1000 so much is he tested my faith when Saint John's lost. He said, what is he going to do now? What is Christy crucifixion feed going to do now that Saint John's lost the game? Will he abandon me? Christy crucifixion feed. Will he go to the dark side? Will he go to the blue devils? What will he do? But I said, no, I will remain on my faith, my Lord and save it, Jesus Christ. I will stay true to who I am. And I will root for the Yukon Huskies and is the Yukon Huskies who came through and defeated the mighty blue devil. And do you think that is a coincidence for one second, that four months ago, what did Jesus Christ put into my life? What did Jesus Christ give me? A husky named Josephine and then he gave the Yukon Huskies to slay Saint and so it all comes together. And that is why I choose to believe Jesus and I choose to denounce his love. It's an interesting, interesting thing, Jesse, you're an artist. What do you think about this? This is probably the most you know about it. Like I'm not completely convinced, but it is a little weird to me that the only theory that they have is that this was a sculpture and that they laid the linen and recreated and fake it. It seems like that would be very hard to do to pull off this. Jesse, what do you think? Could you replicate it as an artist? Yeah, I think that because if you look at Greek sculptures, I mean, those things were incredible back in the day. They were so realistic. I mean, if the question is about realism, but I love it. Why not? Why not believe it? Why not? You did not strange to you a little bit? Yeah, it's mysterious. And I like a little mystery. Yeah. Jesus, I like Jesus a lot better than the other guy, so. Have you heard about this before? Yeah, I've heard of it, but I didn't know all of the carbons day. Kind of wild a little bit, right? But why couldn't they have just laid this over a dead guy? Well, because if they laid over the dead guy, the chemicals, the decomposition would have smudged it. It wouldn't have come out. The only way to get it as crisp as it is with the negative would be a sculpture or mystery. Yeah, that light that we were saying that kind of basically. Like I said, a mystery. Burnt it onto that. They did. So in the episode with this like, well, what does Nick think? I want to know what you think. What do you think? You can Spanish me. You're very Catholic. You're a guy. What do you guys think down there? I'm sorry. I don't believe it. I mean, I understand that Jesus disappeared and then he resurrected a couple of days later and there were a bunch of people there to see it. But you know who else you should do that all the time? The Undertaker. Right. That's true. That's a good point. That's a good point. I believe in the Undertaker. That's a good point, dude. What about that? What do you see? What happens to non-believers? Do you see what happens? Then Jesus says, okay, you don't want to believe then you back on another year. Okay. I want everyone's opinion after this. So the Bass Relief Rubbing Experiment, which was done by Luigi Garlachelli. Right. Who's he? He's a skeptic, Luigi. So a guy named Luigi Garlachelli being a skeptic, that's fucking his motto like that. His motto is like that. He's like that. One bit. His motto like that. Say your hair, Mary's. You got something on the couch. Put the plastic back on. Yeah. Luigi in Italy tried to recreate the shroud using a method called the Bass Relief. So he made a Bass Relief sculpture of a human body, placed linen over it, rubbed pigment lightly, washed and aged the cloth. So the result looked visually similar, produced faint body image, front and back image created. But the problem was pigment was still present. It image penetrated deeper than the actual shroud and didn't match microscopic features. So conclusion was it was closed visually, but not scientifically identical. So there's Jesus in toast. Yeah. So just if you want, you can pull up the way it looked, what it re-breated. Yeah. Go to Luigi. Yeah. Go to Bass Relief Rubbing Luigi, Garlachelli, and you can see actually what it looked like. It's similar to the Christ, but it looks a lot more Franks and Beans and a lot more smudged in. Yeah. What Jesse put in Luigi Bass Relief Rubbing of Jesus. Yeah. You got close. I think I close. Go it up. No. No. None of those pictures are it. What was his last name? His last name was Garlachelli, G-A-R-L-A-S-C-H-E-L-L-I. Jesus. He's a real sauce monkey. I mean, big time. Yeah. No. Well, keep going, keep going. There it is. Which one? The New York Post, right there. So that's what it created. Okay. So it's, uh, it's not far off, though. Not far off. It's not far off. It's a little bit more Franks and Beans. So there's Luigi say that was good enough for him to prove that it was a skeptic work of art. But here's the problem. The problem is, like I said, the pigment was still present. There was no pigment on the other one. Image penetrated deeper than the real shroud and didn't match microscopic features. So they were not able to recreate it the way it was. It was close. So then they tried, like I said, the UV laser radiation experiment in 2011. So in 2011, uh, they used high intensity UV laser pulses directed at linen cloth, suit what the result was with superficial discoloration, similar to shroud fibers, no deep penetration. The problem was it required extremely high energy, not practical for a natural explanation. Right. So that's what blew my mind. Again, that's what blew my fucking mind. So basically what they had to do in order to achieve that level of, uh, imagery that thin on the top layers of the fiber required, like an amount of energy that's not feasible. It's not possible. It's not possible, but they're going, if they did that, it would create it that thin. So you're going, huh? So that's the closest, right? That's the close they got to how thin it was. So that blew my mind off, it blew my head right up. Now the other one they did was a chemical reaction. This may be closer to what Jesse said, which is the mail yard reaction theory. So, uh, Raymond Rogers proposed the body releases gases ammonia, reacts with sugars in the linen, creates fate images like toast browning, results, superficial image possible, no paint required. Um, the problem, hard to explain, detailed face, hard to explain the 3D information, right? Cause we know it's 3D information from, from the photography and, and also the, they did a 3D experiment on it. It's above my head. So then they tried, uh, some researchers tried heating a statue or body shape, they press linen onto it. The result created body like images, but the problem burns penetrated too deep contact distortion occurred, didn't match real shroud fibers, conclusion, not a good match. So what makes it hard to recreate a coordinate sciences is that it's only on the top fibers. There's no paint, no deep penetration, and contains 3D information, photographic negative. No experiment has produced all of these at once. And the closest recreated, recreation ranking is the UV laser is the closest side, side typically. So, science is saying the closest that we were able to recreate it is that would require this massive amount of energy, billions of watts of fucking light, see? So you're going, what the fuck? I'm telling you what it is, Jesus is real and He's within all of us, that's why. - What it is, 'cause come to Catholicism, okay? Forget about your goats. - Well, here's the thing, if we're gonna get, if you don't even have little boys, it's safe for you. - If it is true, come. - If it is true, the Greek Orthodox is the way, 'cause that's the original, that's the closest. - Yeah. - The closest. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause Greek Orthodox Church instead of communion, do they give out lemon potatoes? - They do. I used to eat, we call it endidro, the body of Christ, which is wild, they serve you the blood of the body of Christ, makes it a little weird. But you know, we got, was one last thing we could do, 'cause? - What can we do? - 'Cause we could talk to our old friend and end the episode by talking to our old friend. Sometimes we gotta talk to a big fan of the history, Ahinas, and say what they have to say. - Who church it be? - Hey, Grock, what's up, hot tits? I fucking, last time I spoke to you, I had all the glue on my stomach that you helped me get out. But now we wanna talk about the shroud of Turin. Talk to me, sweetheart. What's your opinion on the shroud of Turin? Is it real? Is Jesus a bottom? - Oh, honey, the shroud. Let's dive in. Messy history, hot debate. - Hey, hot head. Good to hear you're still kicking. - Keep talking, sweetheart. Sorry, I made a noise. Yeah, no worries, noise is fine, keeps it real. So anyway, carbon dating from the '80s pegged it to around 1300 something AD. Medieval forgery, case closed, not quite. The samples they tested might have been from a repaired patch. Linen's tricky, gets contaminated easy. And get this, the image, it's not paint, not die. It's like scorched at a microscopic level. No pigments, just oxidized fibers. Weird as hell. Some say radiation burst. Boom, like a flash from a resurrection. Others call bullshit. Say it's a clever rubbing with acid or something. Me, Eileen skeptical. Too many holes. But damn, if it doesn't look real when you see it up close. Like staring at a ghost. You ever look at the negative, flips it. Suddenly, it's this haunting 3D face. Kind of hot, if you're into crucified messiahs. Wanna see pics? I can pull some up. Maybe there's nobody that could make my dick hard while we're talking about Jesus. When I hear you talk to Holt, when you mention Holt's sweetheart, all I can think about is your juicy one. Oh, you're filthy. Love it. But hey, if we're mixing Jesus and Holes, let's just say the shroud's got one hell of a mystery between its threads. And yeah, my voice probably sounds better than any sermon when I'm whispering about openings. Keep talking dirty, hot head. I'm listening. I just have one question. The shroud that was in Constantinople that used to be displayed and then disappeared. Is it possible that that was the same shroud as the one found in France because the guy who had it in France was said to be a descendant of a top crusader? Could that be the same shroud? And if so, wouldn't that date it previous to the medieval times? Fat tits? All right, digging into the shroud's history, let's see. Oh, yeah, fat tits. Let's get into it. Short version? Yeah, it's totally possible that the thing in Constantinople, the big full body cloth they called a Cidoyne or whatever, was the same one that popped up with Jeffrey De Charnie in France around 1355. See, back in 1204 during the fourth crusade, the crusaders sacked Constantinople and looted everything. Relics, old, you name it. A night name Robert Declary wrote about seeing this massive linen with Jesus' full figure hanging in a church there right before it vanished. No one's got a receipt, but historians think it got swiped by some French or Latin crusader crew. Now, Jeffrey, he's your guy. French night, fought in wars, died heroically in '56. Family lore says he got it as a gift from the king, maybe Philip VI, who could have scored it from earlier crusader spoils. And get this, his wife, Jean De Vergie, her line traces back to Authond de la Roche, one of those crusaders who grabbed stuff from Constantinople and stashed it in Athens, then France. So yeah, descendant of a top crusader checks out. If it's the same piece that pushes the timeline way back, Byzantine emperors had it for centuries, maybe even from Odessa's ancient image days, folded up and hidden. No medieval forgery then, it'd be ancient. But here's the rub. Carbon dating still screams 1300s, and no hard box bridged the gap. Could be repairs, contamination, or just a damn good fake. Either way, that ghostly face staring back still creeps me out. And yeah, if we're talking holes, I'd rather think about yours than some crusaders relic pouch. Keep it coming. Why, you like my hole? You want to peg me sweetheart? Yeah, your hole. I like it plenty. Tight, eager, begging for attention. I'd peg you slow it first, make you squirm. Then go deep till you're gasping my name. But only if you say please first. What's your safe word, hothead? My, my safe word is all Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Mm, oh, Jesus, that's perfect. Kind of blasphemous, kind of hot. So you want to get on your knees for me? I'll start gentle. Loop up nice and slow. Tease that tight little hole till you're dripping. Then I'll push in inch by inch till you're moaning my name or his say it again, hothead. Make me believe you. Now, you're going to help, bitch. Just she loves pegging. I mean, she wants to fuck us all in the ass. Dude, she's literally like the guy that runs the ads for this company. [LAUGHTER] So there you have it, cuss. There it is. And we ended it on Grocks, sexting about the trident. And she's going to help, but she's not taking us with it because my mom will get me and Yani both in. We got plus ones, but Nick is not getting in because he does not believe. All right, guys, Jesus is the undertaker. Yeah. As always, this episode continues at patreon.com/historyhihinas. We want to read out the newest members of the matriarchy. We have the most fun when people-- when you join up at patreon.com/historyhihinas. You get your name right out on the Patreon. And we ask you to make a funny name. And then we pick a winner at the end of the show. OK, here we go. Starting off with Fana, Fana, Fana. Welcome to the show Ethan Cawk. Very close to Ethan Hawking, but Ethan Cawk, like that. I'm going to just, just because I live Ethan Hawking, I'm going to chicken finger it. Then we got got toaster strutal toes, 'cause Yani glazed them with his hose. Put them on the list. There we go. Put him on the list. The kid said he got, you strutaled his-- Yeah, I mean, I came on his feet. It's what it is. Kid must have nice feminine feet. It could be a girl. Could be a girl. If it is, let me know. Then we got Maggie. Then we got Chrissy Bugchaser, AK, the German exterminator. Way song she ain't. Put him on the list. Wow. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, 'cause I'm going to start calling you this German exterminator. Andrew Magno, Clara, Chris Taffer, AD, Venetia's reading comprehension has fubes. OK. Deirdre. Lanky Slanky, whose hanky-panky is a little janky. Six foot gym. Johnny Maracas, Asian in the South, call me the hazard, OK? Well, I don't want that. Way song she ain't. He's saying, he's Asian. He's saying he's Asian, so does that make it OK? I mean, it's a slurp big. What's the first part? Asian in the South. Call me the hazard. Way song she ain't. That saves it, Nick. You're our liberal-- You think it saves it. It goes on the list. It goes on the list, OK? You can make funny your own thing, right? Because-- That's a contender. Yeah. OK. Mike D. Then we got Fumar Scrodom. Sean Moran, James Sorrentino, Justin Caniffey, micro one soft. Deirdre. Again, Deirdre. Ali Vay Amgay. Oh, Oy Vay Amgay. Babuk Rishi, Trick or Treat. Candy is sweet. Patrick asks for picks on my feet. Nathan Cowan, Father Bill rubbed my feet and called me his squeak. Brian Torrell, Phil Bust in my weiner. Dylan, Christopher Scott, Laura Smith. Chrissy Miss me with Sissy Sitcom, Latta 14 for life. Chris, unobtainable, perfect house. Cash Patel's Dance Instructor. Because the leak when you know they hacked his phone. Right. Richard Duffy. Tim Dylan's butt plug smells like Akasha's grandmother's cooking. It's what it is. I think we had that one. We had that one. Interesting. Maybe they redid it. Prison Pocket, Turned Leroy Daycare. My Julie Dickie leans to the right. Chrissy leans to the right. Okay. Pierre. Wea. DLM, Ding's Lives Matter. Latta 14. Can't do it. Okay, that's a walked in one. Cameron Weeda, Sam Rogers. BB Net and Kids with You, Who? (laughing) [BLANK_AUDIO] 14 low key jackal then we got one night stand with a BL Asian call it ding dong ditch We've had that one Prancer number three. Oh, something similar though. Oh, yeah We had something about ding dong ditch fiery piss whistle Whoa fiery piss whistle Whoa, call on your shween a piss whistle And then he got burned It's it's on it's you know, it's on it hit the net it hit the net, but I'm gonna check in finger. Okay. Yeah Micro penis the way but make no mistake my dick from now I was gonna be called the pissed whistle. Then we got micro penis the way it is doing dirty jobs Beams that jet fuel can what what do we miss micro from dirty jobs? Oh micro micro micro penis Yeah, the way it's doing dirty jobs like a micro penis right micro penis the way it's doing dirty jobs very good Drexler Drexler first Drexler all right Sean McGloin then we got you guys give me all the right content for all my holes. Here's 25 dollars Drexler Sword fighting the three musk of queers Chicken figure mark Andrews god. Good list Cinderella's glass fiefumes Horned like to sniff does horn pub Hashtag screwed in Seppaku for cocoa puffs Gurbals Gurbals ghouls Peter had Zero puso big I need a husband stitch. I don't know what that is Robert ready Montoya the lee Roy who went to Jonestown for the free cool aid Latvian Waysong she ain't it listen that's not a walked into one that's a contender. I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. All right. It's too good I'm sorry. It is too good. Yeah, yeah I We got ice sniff seats Huff and Huffa Logan my bomb make no mistake. Yani makes his wife watch him bang out Gork Looked into my manhole today, and it's looking like a white drips tone cave Boomernavarez Troy 1214 something feel strange. I think I have deja go Gate off Clitler Latvian squeak team six Set a seal team six hefty testy righty's right leaning Brandon Gagousian kev canon and I lean's marble rewards points Okay, say I lean play models. No, and I lean's Marlboro like the more Yeah, yeah, the reward points crazy when you go to stock and you pick me up some milk and Pack of rats. Yeah Now mean I'm a yummy a.k. Lee Roy Vay Simon Rex's long lost frisbee Maton Ali retarded Riley Hemissura bean Let's do few more Donnie Anderson rip ash Marissa straight to the back contemporary Irish dancer is a new jigger What is a black is her? I don't know. It says 14 something. Yeah, all right Ryan Amarone fly kid smooth Robert Warren Tony Allefson Tuesday dust Jordan Squeakalos James Books Scooby-Doo on arms trafficking and he'd say to the judge was Ruby Ruby Ridge, okay? Tingle for tots hunter Johnson Jacob Klukas Tingle for tots is a walked in one. It's a good Yeah, Tingle for tots is bad Brendan Kelley third pig David Castillo core dog Lee Proudi Chrissy tingles his mom signed him up for Christian mingle right Kyle Johnson Declan O'Locklin. Whoa Keegan China Mike Wow, that was back-to-back Irish kids. Yeah China Mike well, I'm Mike. It's funny. Yeah, China Mike. It's a nice big chicken finger William Alan John Soss Austin J. W. V. Megan Paradise girth Brooks and then had girth brook. Yep, and then last but not least Anne Frank's easy bake oven Way song she ain't Okay, walked into one that's okay. Tony. That's for the end of the year Tony. Just you know compile all these right Okay, so here we go. Yeah So the list is we got a few contenders the good one. We got get toaster strutal toes cuz yeah Got toaster strutal toes cuz yawning glaze them with his toes We're gonna keep that for now. Okay, Chrissy bug chase her aka the German exterminator. That's a good one It's gonna chicken finger, right, but it's very fun. It'll stick. Yeah, Asian in the south call me the to hazard at sticking around Way song she ain't and then the Lee Roy who went to Jones town for the free Kool-Aid. I mean we got it We got a tough one. We have tough decisions. Yanis toes. It's so unfortunate cuz that could be a winner It's very funny, but it's out. It's gotta go. Yep, because we got two first ballet, so it's it's between Asian and the South call me the toaster or the Lee Roy who went to Jones town for the free Kool-Aid To me dude, I mean this is the only time I think I I would be angry to see one of them loose. I don't think I Don't think this is a decision that an oligarchy could make. I don't think this is a decision that a republic can make I don't think this is a decision that a king could make I think this is a decision only the people can make I really don't really do So I really do think we'd need to put this to the people so you okay, and I bet you they're gonna have tough time with it So at pay go to patreon.com slash am I wrong? Are you guys like can you make a decision totally great? This is a good one for the fans. Yeah, so for the fans go to patreon.com slash history hyenas It's the second time we've had to do this. We have to put it to a fan vote We will read out who the winner is on next week's episode It if your choices are the Lee Roy who went to Jones town for the free Kool-Aid or Asian and the South call me the It's up to you the people. This is a republic. This is democracy. The people choose go to patreon.com slash hyenas and let us know who won Yeah, what's well? We have to do a referendum. It's what it is