The Shroud Of Kurpin: Jesus CONFIRMED?? | FILE_25 | Mystery Boys

Well, hi, I'm Celebrity Chef, Shemp, Chartworthy, and with me as always is Alfredo Gonsalves. Alfredo Gonsalves of the 7th Vale. And with us here today. are Alex and Patricio Gutierrez from Athonia Inc. Here we have with us a Shroud of Turin expert, two crusading knights, a crusader. Let me change my name. To what? Something Hispanic. Carlos. What? Carlos. Yeah, that's my Spanish name for Spanish class. How about Carlos Interrupto? Hi, I'm Celebrity Chef Carlos Interrupto. And I'm Alfredo Gonsalves of the 7th Vale. And with us here today is Alex and Patricio Gutierrez from Athonia Inc. These are two experts on the Shroud of Turin. And as you can see before us, we have scale replicas of the implements of torture and the nails that were driven into our Lord Jesus Christ's hands. Is this like a Christmas episode or something? Pretty close, yeah. How y'all doing? Good, yeah, it's great to be here. But yeah, Alex Gutierrez, my brother here. Today I will be. Yeah, today I will be Geoffroy de Charny, the first knight to come into possession of the Shroud of Turin. Okay. Geoffroy first and second. I'll be the dad of. Geoffroy? Geoffroy, Geoffrey. Geoffrey. Hey, do you marry worshippers drink White Claw? I already offered that. Thanks. Water here is good, yeah, thank you. Or you turn it into White Claw. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Carlos Interrupto. There you go. Oh yeah, there you go. What's your name? Patricio Gutierrez, but King Abgar V of Edessa. And what'd you do, King? First Christian King. Oh, the first Christian King. So, yeah, I think I was sick, you know what I mean? I think they thought I had leprosy. Is it okay to handle this with the grabber? There you go. Oh, I didn't know that was on there like that. First big fan of Jesus, heard Jesus' miracles and sent him a letter to see if he could cure me. Told me he was too busy, about to get, you know, with his mission in Jerusalem. Sent Jesus a letter? I sent Jesus a letter. Wait a minute, I'm sorry. What's with the letter? Are you the actual. Is this like Indiana Jones? Is this like Indiana Jones' third movie thing where, like, you've been guarding the Grail the whole time and you're alive? Or are you saying as the. The historic king that he's portraying. So you're portraying as that king. Yeah, they're historical people. But you're really embodying him. Hold on a second. Even more mysterious to me than the Shroud of Turin is that there was a male system back then and that Jesus got male. That's right. Jesus got male? He's a king of where? From King Abgar V of Edessa. Odessa like Ukraine? No, Edessa, Texas. This is modern day Turkey. Modern day Turkey. Oh, okay. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, Turkey. So, like, Jesus would be, like, walking with the disciples. That's right. And somebody would come and be like, is there a Jesus Christ here? Jesus Christ. We have a letter from the king. It was a lot like Elder Scrolls back then. You'd be like, sir, there's a message for you. Yeah, yeah. Are you joking? And it would be my letter. Yeah, I sent him a letter. What's his address? Wait, wait. Tell me the story is not you because we're getting very confused. Wait, this king. So who's the king? Tell me the name of the king that you're portraying. King Abgar V of Edessa. Okay, Abgar V. And what year is this? This is. This is during the time of Jesus, so. So, first century. First century, yeah. Oh, okay. It's a legend. A legend. King Abgar V. The fifth. Okay. There we go. Ah, see, what does he have in his hands? The image. I didn't know all this about the shroud that was supposed to go to this king. Do you think he ended it with, I hope our paths cross one day? He requested for him to come to. Get it. Oh, yeah. He said, I want him to come. I like that. That's very good. Yeah, but Jesus had. I missed it, but I. It's actually very good. What's that for? I hope our paths cross one day. Yeah. There you go. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah, gotcha. I just am trying to think about this, man, and I don't want to get hung up on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did know there was a mail system back then, and I didn't know that Jesus potentially received mail from different people. And also, you have to wonder, how did this king hear about Jesus while Jesus was alive? Like, how did word get to the king? Wait, how early is Eusebius? I think 4th century. So that was like a popular pharmacy at the time, Eusebius. You would take your letters there. That's right. Okay. What happened? Oh, he's doing pictures. All right. Let's see. He wrote the. I can't see it because you're. Okay. Together with Pamphilus, I guess the guy made like zines. Eusebius was a scholar. Stop making the windows pop up. I can't read it. What are you doing? You see how we're plagued by a demon named Tanner? Yeah. And Lindsey Graham's AI has infected our computers. So we're covering all the angles. The tech problems and the mystical problems on this show. There you go. Pamphilus. Okay. So this story, they keep saying it's a tradition, so it sounds like it's not a real story is what it sounds like. Well, it's still cool. It's not dogma, that's for sure. Because how do you know that's. Look, here's my big question on the Shroud of Turin, and I'm all for it. If you could get some squeeze out of it. If you could get some seasons out of it and make a. I don't know what you'd do with it. But how do you know it's Jesus, not just some guy with a beard? Well, I would say up until this day, nobody can explain how the image was formed. Well, that's fair, but still, there's no idea of Jesus other than a beard. No, no, no. The image, it has a clear image of a man who was crucified, crowned, scourged, pierced on his side, and plucked beard. And there is no other person in history that meets that description. They plucked his beard? They did. How much? I don't know. Well, it's on the Shroud. It's, I don't know, a little bit. So they took a chunk out of his beard. Yeah. Romans were so fucked up. Who would have had his Shroud? And also, is a Shroud. So who is it? Joseph Arimathea gave him a nice Shroud? That's right. It is Joseph Arimathea, yeah. Yeah, well, how does it work? Okay, so yeah, let me just start off by saying, yeah, so I'm with Athonia Inc. My brother's a volunteer. He's helped at many events with Father Andrew Dalton, taking pictures, and he's been around. So I'd say. If we want to start at the beginning, then it was Joseph of Arimathea who purchased the tomb. Because he had to be. Jesus had friends in high places. You needed to be rich to buy a tomb like that. Jesus was killed like the worst of criminals, but he was buried like a king. And he also bought the Shroud. So it was when he was crucified on Good Friday, then he goes. There was a sale on Shrouds, so that was handy. Yeah. He goes and asks for permission from Pilate. It's two for one, I think. He goes for himself later. He opened Duncan's eyes after he said that nonsense. He. I want to see him have to listen to it and register. He gets permission from Pilate to take the body down. So between Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, they wrap the body in the linen, and they put him in the tomb. That's on Friday. Yes. Then on Sunday, if we go to the Gospel of John, chapter 20, I think it's verse 8, it's the resurrection passage. So Mary Magdalene wakes up early that morning, but not early enough. The body's gone. Yeah. It is Mary Magdalene. It's not. Mary Magdalene. Okay. Yeah. And she sees who she thinks is the gardener. Right. And she's saying, like, tell me where they've taken my Lord. Like, I'll do anything. Just tell me where he is. And then Jesus appears to her. It was really him and says. Calls her by name, says Mary. And then she recognizes him and says rabbi to him. Why do you think. I've always wondered this. Why. Is that like an anti-Semitic insult or something? In these stories. Good kind of rabbi. When people encounter Jesus, at first, they don't recognize him. They don't, yeah. What is that? That's very interesting. And it's something I'll share later about the road to Emmaus. We have multiple examples of, for whatever reason, Jesus was there, but they didn't recognize him. So it's almost like he has. I mean, he's God. He has a way to make himself known or perhaps not yet. So to reveal himself. Can I tell you why? This is, again, like, I love these stories. I love Jesus. I'm not trying to be edge lord of your offenses. Go ahead. But any time I hear these stories, I always think these are people who are grieving and some clever person realized that all he had to do is be like, I'm Jesus. I told Duncan I was his mom for two years once. Now, he knew right away, but I kept it up for two years. It was very strange. It was really sad when I found out you weren't my mom. I thought it was weird when you were like, you can breastfeed again. Yeah, he didn't fall for any of it. He said I didn't sound like her. And also, I didn't have the same. Same taste of milk, right? Anyway, it's not important, but. It tasted very sour. Yeah, you're not supposed to. Tasted like white claw and kratom. Tell a lie enough, it becomes true. Is that that type of thing? But so, yeah, what is that? Like, what is the general explanation for that? Why was he disguising himself and then revealing himself like that? Yeah, I think it always has to do with testing us in a good way. Not like, ha, like, I got you. But he, you know, he performed miracles. He showed everybody who he was and people still didn't know him. Now, except Peter. Peter went to say, hey, who do you say that I am? And he said, you are the Christ. And he says that it's my father that revealed this to you. You wouldn't be able to know this without the Holy Spirit. So it's a mystery. We're on the mystery, boys. And who is more enigmatic than the Shroud of Turin? But Jesus did reveal himself. That is part of the God became man, the incarnation. He's like, look, I just got to pick up my shroud I left. I'll just be in and out real quick. I left my shroud in there. I got to take it back. I left my dirty laundry there. I got to go back. It is dirty laundry. Has anybody seen my keys? In defense of the shroud being real, for sure, Jesus was renowned enough at the time that someone would have taken the shroud because the soldiers were like betting on casting lots. Okay, just to point this out, just to play devil's advocate. Go ahead. Literally, the devil's advocate that you would ask any questions about this not being real. Carlos Interrupto. I have. Let him cook. Go ahead, Carlos. What do you got? So we don't know how famous he was at the time. I mean, that's like not a lot of records of him. We know the Bible story, which I said, go ahead and take it. If you're not listening to Jesus Christ Superstar, he was super famous at the time. He wasn't. Well, okay. They have no records of him like that. Now, there's some things here and there. I don't think that means he wasn't real or any dumb shit like that. I'm just saying. You're not a Gnostic. No. Well, I don't know. I don't know enough about it. How's it going? I need to know more. Know more. Hey, I want to take a second to talk about a little pouch we couldn't live without. Lucy. I call them light bringers. We've tried them all, and Lucy's are by far the best. What sets them apart is the bite and burst technology built directly into the pouch. Bite down. Crunch. Get that satisfying click. And it releases a fresh layer of flavor right when you want it. Whether you're in a mint, mango, or even apple cider, Lucy's got you covered. Friends, I like nothing more than having my mouth suddenly filled with a sweet goo that sprays from within that Lucy capsule. It reminds me of so many things, like sucking off an elf. 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They say that in the Bible, but if I'm going to be Mr. History guy, which I am a Mr. History guy, they're going to go, "Well, we only have a couple of things." You have Josephus, you have Jewish sources, you have Roman sources. Josephus, I think, is a good one because he wasn't like- He's a historian. Yeah. Well, what do you think? Because they say what he wrote about Jesus, someone altered it also later. You've seen that, right? Where they go, he goes, "The Romans executed him," and this and that, and then there's this added part to it, supposedly. Or maybe he said that. Maybe he wrote it. Yeah. I've heard something like this, but can't speak to that. Yeah. Hey, what do you think about, not to get weirdly political, my wife sent me this. What do you think about. Have you seen Tallarico's pastor? Have you seen this, Metzger? Well, let me guess. There's some kind of non-binary Episcopalian nonsense and- Presbyterian. Aaron spends too much time on social media. Presbyterian. Yeah. Presbylutheran. With some respect. Who gives a shit? No. She basically. Which is wild because she's like, I guess, what do they call Presbyterians? Ministers? Yes. She's a minister. But she said, "Jesus, there is no historic Jesus. It wasn't real." Why bother going to church? Yeah. I know. It's just weird for a minister to say that. Is it just the traffic kids? What do you guys think about that? I mean, if you can't get the basis right, Jesus was a real person. How do you call yourself a Christian? I seem to go all in and don't do it. I think Christ said that as well. It's his words exactly. No. It's paraphrasing. But he said, "I don't like lukewarm. I like you to hate." He did. He said he would vomit. I spit you out. God said that. I'll spit you out. Yeah. You know, things that are safe for work. Hot or cold? I spit it out, safe for work. So. Go big or go home? Is that what he said? Yeah. I'm saying there is. Even if he wasn't super renowned, if he had followers, there is a chance that they would have taken the shroud. Right. Well, so that's what we were getting to. So we know that Peter and John. Okay, I didn't get to that. So Peter and John get to the tomb. John gets there first, and he makes you know that, that he was faster. He waits for Peter. He loops in, and then three times the word "Athonia" is mentioned. So "Athonia" is. That's the nonprofit that I'm with, and that promotes the Shroud of Turin. They make Jesus known through the Shroud of Turin. But that word is there in that passage three times. Why? Why are we focusing on the dirty laundry? And it must be. At the end of that passage, it says that he saw and believed. We don't know what he saw, but he didn't say, like Mary Magdalene, like, "Where is the body?" Or, "Did somebody take the body?" Something about what he saw in the tomb made him believe. It could be the condition of the tomb. It could be that he saw the mysterious image. It could be that he saw a light. It could be many things. The only thing we have to go on the participle is the word "kaimena" in Greek, which is lying. So the Shroud was. The "Athonia" was lying there. It was still. "Athonia" means Shroud? In Greek. In Greek. So if we were able to read Greek, maybe. I don't know if someone does. Then we would be able to. I had to stop. Greek life? Dirty. Dirty reading it. I don't know how to describe it, but it's something real. I know what you mean. I'm not going to name names, but you know, there's a guy, a creep we know who speaks Greek. I know. So yeah, if we were able to read Greek, you would see the word "Athonia" three times. And then in Latin, the face cloth is the "sudarium." That's the one that's in Oviedo, Spain today. So they're there, and it's like a balloon that was inflated, but it stayed tied, and the air went out. So it was just flat. Meaning, that's. When we get to the science of it. The science about the shroud is there is no smudging. It's not like Jesus got out and just tore the sheets off, because there is no signs of smudging or smearing or anything on the shroud. It's as if he passed through, like light through a window pane. And some people have kind of studied it. And that's what baked it in. Well, yes. That's what baked it in, yeah. Kind of like a photograph or an x-ray, because the shroud itself does act like a. We'll get to this in a bit, I guess. But it's like the shroud itself acts as a photographic negative, and they think they have to be some light, I guess, if it's behaving like a film. Wild. So he sort of. He ascended. He turned into light and baked his image into it. Yeah. There was a physicist, and his name is Paolo di Lazzaro in Italy. And he, for five years, played with light, and the amplitude, the frequency, and kind of trying to see what would I need to get the coloration on the shroud that is there. And he came up with a number that's 34,000 trillion, thousand trillion watts of energy in 1/40 billionth of a second. But wouldn't that have incinerated the shroud? Well, that's the thing. So it's the numerator and the denominator. It's a fraction. You don't just need a lot of power on top. You need it in a split second to not char the whole thing. Because he would when he was testing this. It's like a flash bulb. It's like a flash. Wouldn't Paul have mentioned the importance of this fucking shroud? You know like. Well, he didn't. He saw. I've heard you guys talk about Paul. You're like. I'm a big Paul guy, because I like how he just comes in and he's like. Or get to the road of Damascus. I talk to him. Hey, 50% of the New Testament is Paul, so I mean, he's great. But he saw Jesus, but it was in a different way. He didn't meet him like. It's hard to. I don't know if in person is the right word. He got blinded, and then he had to. I had to correct Duncan on JRE about this, because Duncan. You didn't correct shit, boy. You didn't correct shit. You're a literalist. You're a weirdly, a literalist non-believer. If you ask me. You're a literally, a literalist non-believer. If you ask me, Paul going blind. By the way, you're watching the Christian boys with the two crusaders. Yeah. On the road to Damascus, that to me is a symbol. We're trad and we're bad. We're trad and bad. We're trad and bad. Now listen to Hot Dog Man. Listen to Hot Dog Man. That doesn't mean gay like it usually does. Listen to Hot Dog Man talk about this, Saul of Tarsus, the conversion. I think the blindness represents that anyone who has yet to come in contact with the spirit of Jesus is blind, and that Paul wasn't made blind. Paul realized he was fucking blind. I think that's what happened. Oh, that's a very interesting take on blind. He realized he was blind. Oh, you find that interesting? That's my take on it. That's my interpretation of it. I'd say it's both. It's usually things have more layers. A lot of yes ands and not either ors on these things. Come on. Enough said. Yeah. I just don't get why the thing of relics and. because it seems like you're just veering and you know not to point out a concept problem with papists. Go ahead. I'm a big papist. Constant relic constant idolatry I would call it as a gay You don't even understand idolatry. As a Presbyterian queer I would call it idolatry. You don't know what idolatry is, boy. Idol worship. No, you don't know idolatry is false idols. Yes. Right? That's what's in there. It doesn't say don't worship idols. It says don't worship false idols. Well, they didn't make idols of, I mean, no, you're not supposed to worship idols. It says false. I think even Catholics who I'm accusing of that would agree you shouldn't worship idols. Doesn't it say they're not doing that? Doesn't it say, but it says false idols. Am I wrong about that? All idols are false. Yeah. Don't worship the creation instead of the creator. We'll look up and see if it says false idols or just don't worship idols because I might be in a little bit of trouble. Don't worship creation. Worship the creator. I have so many real idols. Like what? What? Hunter S. Thompson. I ruined that one and I'm sorry. Yeah, you fucked that one up. American idol. Elvis. I think Hunter S. Thompson, gonzo journalism, just him lying. It's craving images. What Bible? You shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar. Oh shit. I read it wrong. And you shall not set up a figured stone. Ooh. But you have to understand back in the day. Yeah. The key thing there is the word worship and that's what differentiates Catholics and Protestants really is they think praise and worship is like guitars and all this. Worship involves sacrifice. So sacrificing the Old Testament was slaughtering a lamb or a ram or anything like that. And Jesus is the ultimate high priest. He's the victim. You don't need to kill any animals anymore. You don't need to do that kind of sacrifice. He's the ultimate sacrifice. Well, that's true. Jesus is supposed to be the last sacrifice. What I'm saying is now worship because there's a million idols. If we tried so when I was telling DeRosa about what a piece of shit Spielberg is, he can't let go of Indiana Jones, which I don't even understand how it's connected. It's like he keeps making them no like Joe like some bad dark shit involving a lot of other bad dark shit. I say you don't even want to hear any of it because he likes some movies the guy made or when people are like they think Michael Jackson was framed or whatever dumb shit and I'm like, I'm sure Michael Jackson was treated unfairly and also some things probably shouldn't have happened happened, but it's because they made an idol of them. In fact, we have a show called American Idol. You make an idol, right? Yeah. Yeah, you should Hollywood star. I mean, it's the most Lord your God above all things. So what? But so basically you're saying Catholics draw a distinction between relics and idols, but yeah, you're not worshiping animal. That's why we're not Mary worshipers either. There's a lot of what he calls you. I say I say the Templars brought meat worship a cake. Oh legal doctor. I don't worship a.k.a. the mother of heaven, which is a Asherah, which is specifically for me. The Templars brought it back. They hooked up with Sufis when they went over there. They start using John the Baptist fucking head as a Ouija board. I mean, what? Well, that's their words. I don't know what they did. Seems like a cumbersome plan. Should be in Turkey to this day, but a reliquary always has a head of a saint or something. Yeah, so it would be the mass was celebrated and it still isn't in a lot of the altars in Europe. They have like the bones of a saint, but that doesn't mean you're you're worshiping that. It's, you know, the early church was underground. It was the catacombs. It was Roman persecution, and it's a way to remember. So we're coming up on all that is very interesting. Would you say they were going in under so like Vatican is named after Vatican. It's on top of those underground tombs where was Peter supposed to be there? Yeah, Peter's there. Okay, so you're saying that they worship in those underground areas. They celebrate. Yeah, they were underground, but the altars are on. They have a relic inside the altar, so you're celebrating mass on top of the bones of a of a saint because the saint a saint is anyone that's been sanctified. That's what it comes from. Yeah, so it's anyone that's in heaven. So they're just a good example. Like how do you know how they have the Pope declare like Mother Teresa who I don't think was that great, but people like them. So she's in heaven. So she was right. Well, they rushed even if I was going to be really Catholic about it, let's be Catholic about it. They rush that whole they're like, yeah, I think it's miracle they rush that process. I remember when it was going on at the time because Sean Hannity was demanding it and all these other people and I'm it's like, why would that be up to the Pope or why would it be up to the Pope? If there is a what's the purgatory? Why would that be up to the Pope? So it's not up to the Pope. It's I forget the version. I'm not a Protestant. I can't quote that well, but you know, nothing unclean will enter heaven. So I think the purgatory is like summer school. If you don't get your stuff together now, like you're going to have to make up for it. There's no purgatory, right? Or he did. Who didn't the Pope remember when they came out and said they can't just go and say there's no purgatory? It was big news when it happened. How can you just say that? Which Pope said this? I could be remembering it poorly. So keep that in mind. Let's just say that a Pope did say that. That wouldn't change the reality. Pope ends purgatory. Just put that because. So Pope could come out and say guys, there's no heaven. That doesn't mean there's no heaven. We don't have to believe that and he can misspeak on an airplane as sometimes they do with a microphone. We're not bound to that. Don't close the stupid AI. Keep going, keep going. This is one thing I think people misunderstand about Catholics is they think you guys like the Pope is like an Ayatollah. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait. The Pope abandons limbo. Well, I didn't know none of this shit. Limbo is God, not purgatory. The United Church of God, though. He doesn't like that kind of parties where you go all the way back and keep going? He doesn't like having fun? How low? It doesn't have to sound like Hades. I hate limbo. It sounds like the Greek Hades hit limbo. Too tall for limbo. Right? It's like gloomy. It's not like hell, but it's like a gloomy place that they don't like. Didn't the Catholic Church do away with purgatory? So this is what I thought. What year is that? No, we pray for I mean, we're coming up on All Saints Day, All Souls Day. We pray for the souls in purgatory because they can't pray for themselves. There's a whole hierarchy of like, heaven can pray for us. I'll make a movie about it called The Purg. Oh, look at that. Wait a minute. New evidence has come in. What is that? That doesn't remind me. Now, you tell me how that face would be imprinted on there. Duncan? I don't know. I believe it. I'm not like you. I don't spit in the face of every great thing. Look deep in the eyes and tell me who you're looking at. Is that you, though? I can't recognize you. So that's always been there for 2,000 years. Look deep in the eyes. Turns out, yeah. Alfredo. Carlos Interrupto after all. Ah. You were shrouded? Well, I couldn't afford it, but I had a patron. Oh, my God. Can we pull up a picture of one of those saints skulls? Peter Estilicus paid for my. Can we pull up a saint skull? Have you had that injury since then? Is that what happened after the. No, this was having my mind fucking expanded. Oh, that's awesome. That's incredible. Yo, that's fucking great. Yeah, that's amazing. We need something for the Halloween one, too, by the way, just so you know. I have the new song, but I didn't have the image, but I love that. Which is Hallow's Eve. That's a Catholic holiday, by the way. Holiday. Is it? I wasn't. That's the only one I wanted to do as a kid. I wasn't allowed to do it because it was Jehovah's, so we couldn't do Halloween. Oh, you couldn't do that one. You could do St. Patrick's. You could do St. Valentine's. Now, St. Patrick's Day commemorates the genocide of the serpent race in Ireland, is what I'm told. The serpent race? The elf blood. The elf bloods. The filthy elf bloods. You think there were reptilians out there? No. That's not what that means. It's not what that means. What does it mean? You said serpent race. That's what Freemasons call themselves, the sons of Cain. They call themselves the sons of Cain. Freemasons call themselves the sons of Cain? I'll bet you you got some Cain blood, because if you were just a mere son of Seth, the people that come after you, hot dog, wouldn't be after you. But they can't eat pork, right? The Jews? What? I thought you were talking about the actual serpents. The what? The actual serpents, right? No serpents in Ireland anymore? No, neither. Right, it's another one of them stories where it's like not an either or, it's a yes and, but what they did was, St. Patrick comes in and he's clearing out the, you know, the elf, that's how those people that think they're bloodline talk about it. The Druids? The Devere's, the Dragon Court. It's all this French shit, and you know, the Mary Magdalene thing where you've seen Dan Brown horseshit where they go to France and Joseph of Arimathea, I don't know if he spirits her away or gets them out of there or something. You know this story? I just know Dan Brown, I mean, I wouldn't try that. Dan Brown does shit, like a really bad version of it. I don't think the story is true. But I think that it has justified a lot of shit for a lot of people for a very long time. What's true, Magdalene ended up in France. She's from Magda, Magdala, but then in France they called her Madeline. Right. So that's where, like, Madeline. So meanwhile, you got the Templinites bringing back the Divine Feminine, right? Which is a principle that was not really in the early Christianity. Paul, a guy, I'm a fan. They like Eve, or no, no, they like Eve. They try to elevate Mary Magdalene into Mary. They try to make all these. Yeah, they do some weird stuff. Wasn't Mary Magdalene a prostitute? No. She was. Okay. Why do you say that? There's no evidence she was a prostitute. She had seven demons in her. I don't know if the word prostitute is. But she. I think she was promiscuous. How do we know she had seven demons? Wait, is that why they say she was a prostitute? Because she had seven demons? No, no, no, no. She. Who counts demons? Because that's the perfect number. I'm pretty sure. I can't remember the word. I don't think the word prostitute is used, but she had had a promiscuous past. Let's just put it that way. But how do you know that? That's in the Bible. It's in the Bible. What does it say? Look it up right now, Tanner. Don't put your Filipino Catholic bias in it, either. Have the other Tanner do it, if you can't be objective. Look what they do. They did that on purpose to. Yeah, go to Catholic Answers. You see what happens? Mary Magdalene, prostitute. Oh, she's not a prostitute. Also. Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. The New Testament never described her as a sex worker. That's a point. Pope Greg put Let's put that in. - For Interruptus. but wait let me see the is pope gregory his suit oh okay that's interesting wait wait so she had many sins and looks out you know a lot of things are sins by the way woman who anointed jesus's feet i mean that you know what that sounds like a whore because i did i'll be like hey come here and anoint my feet but mary magdalene represents like like anyone who ran into jesus had a usually we all agree women are dirty yeah i mean that was i mean jesus for sure he was accused of why are you hanging out with lepers and with prostitutes that's part of what's cool about it she might be a tax collector all of his friends tax collectors which is why i never understood that why did he like tax collectors why didn't people like no why did he like tax i don't know he didn't like them like zacchaeus he was he climbed that tree and he said hey like i'm going to your house today and it was always jesus anytime he met with sinners that's what a lot of people don't understand right he never validated their sin he always told them like go and sin no more right so it wasn't collecting taxes right yeah no usury let's say that he's a hippie for sure but usury usury is when you charge an interest on it i thought that's right yeah yeah the tax collectors were known for being corrupt i mean you got to translate this through like three two or three languages to get them the context is so drained out of all the bible and i didn't realize how interesting it was to be a tax collector until i was older because of uh you get no context so abraham when that when god is your god's friend he tells him to go kill his son isaac right yeah and abraham goes and louis had that joke about it where he's like and you know i was taught to me which i don't agree with at all was well god gave him a son at 100 and he can take it away if he wants and abraham's acknowledging that but that's not like what what the point of that is at the time when abraham i don't know his name is abram i don't know why it was abram yeah yeah at the time abram's dad probably sacrificed a brother of his they all did that shit they all sacrificed their kids to gods so god was telling him to do a thing that all of them were doing at the time and when he got there god said no don't do that i don't like that see how it sucks that's a very different story then i'm gonna trick you and go what you were gonna kill i don't think it was a trick and i don't know what source that would come but abram at the time is the first guy following yeah he was because he was there was a promise that he'd be a father of all nations but this is but so so what i'm saying is abraham that means abram grew up in a pagan household where they're doing that shit why was god so he didn't grow up with god like that he grew up his family wasn't doing that he he converted to to the you know the god of abraham yeah there wasn't a god of abraham before before i see what you said but why did god encourage so much bloody sacrifice in the beginning and why did god change his mind and he did it you're trapped in a dimension where you have to do that because of the original sin but god's always dirty by the way but god's always telling people like at the beginning the flood yeah god is into sacrificing and killing people and then with the new testament it's like god changes his mind or something the flood was not is that what you think the flood was about what what do you think the flood was a giant sacrifice clearing the hard drive right but why would you clear the hard drive that's a great why would you need because it was corrupted there you go and how did it get corrupted hey look you call it whatever you want it was sacrifice you had to sacrifice a bunch of people to make the world i don't think that was sacrifice that was more of a chastisement can i just say this i just found out you're not supposed to do blood sacrifices anymore to pillars and so i've been i have when i get home you have no idea you have no idea like it's fucked and i don't know what to do because my who brought up veggie tales now god damn it can you pass me a white cloth please sure guys you're you're listening to me christian round table we're three scholars of um biblical scholars thank you thanks my friend that's the claw works well i think this is a good time where's the claw claw oh what do you got what's in the bag some gifts for you guys if he pulls out a gun and kills us it would be the best fucking thing whoa hey mark david chapman oh that's cool you're watching trad brain and the hot dog put me on your grill so we've got oh wow cool let me make sure these are right hey holy face thank you holy cow you put in uh the historical jesus i want to show that to duncan too uh simul yeah because that looks oh thank you wow thank you so much there it is there's look at look at who that is duncan oh that's a wrong guess who duncan look at what that's you yeah now let's look at that out again yeah no so that's a good point they always this meme comes up i see it on my feed sometimes like oh this is what jesus really looked like and it's a caveman park uh it's the magnets i think oh i see and you each get a uh who is the man of the shroud uh booklet it has thank you all our exhibit information basically what i'm saying is how do you know this is not osama bin laden because who does it look like the timeline's a little bit looks like the shroud of bin laden i think it's it's um what is the mithra statue next to that that's what they're trying to say jesus was you see like on the left the mithra statue how much do you think like how old is this shroud so if it if it turns out to be authentic and i believe it's authentic and by the way like like the booklet says it's when we do exhibits and we show people it's we ask them the question like who do you say that the shroud is and they're like jesus is jesus asks us that question who do you say that and we don't go tell telling people you have to believe that that the shroud is real uh but if it is then it would be 2 000 years old it would be you know we're coming up on the anniversary of 2033 2 000 years since you ever hear of a creepy ass joshua coin of what joshua or judas coin put in the golden leaf and put in judas coin oh that's weird like they still have the coin that judas took you know when people are like real creeps if you're like a generation of people you're like a generation of people of a magician creep you you that's a sought after thing to have like the silver coins that he used to be now let's say it's let's say it's just an old fake from a long time ago uh coins still creepy that you want it's still been imbued with horrific intention wow no way yeah now i don't know what a genuine would look like i thought it was a drachma or something right is that what he's supposed to got but in the book the golden leaf it's the reynolds tobacco family wrote it okay their family had a joshua coin no this coin the whole book's about that and then he throws it in the water yeah but that is so spooky yeah dude if you take a little bit of time and look at any of this it's like everything's crazier than you can imagine let me ask you a question a theological question something i've always struggled with sure no judas no jesus therefore judas no there would just be another guy who's judas but then no that no no traitor no jesus in other words right jesus says that right so woe to him that does it but still right this is a plan look at it this way okay there's a play you don't have to play the part of judas but in life you get to go out for the part you want a lot of time right you get it like right so woe to the man that gets the part but don't you think like like without a betray without that kind of dark backstabbing piece of right you don't get the resurrection what you're saying so there's i've heard there's two things i think borges who was the argentinian author he wrote about like oh kind of like judas is the hero or something you hear that and i've heard like yeah i've heard like a lot of jews it's it's saying like oh look like he's the hero because without him we don't get that's true if you did a sting operation on a gangster no darth vader no luke skywalker yeah but even george lucas didn't push that if you if you're doing a sting operation on a hideous gangster okay because inside of some kind of revenge this is different than a jesus story which is a revenge story but what are you like oh uh just because you did a sting on him doesn't mean you're grateful to the guy every the the worst choice in every scenario is oh you know what the gangster killed my family so i went for revenge and honestly i'm glad he killed my family because i didn't want to have a family i want to do this that's bad okay it's a bad feeling no i'm i'm pointing more towards the divine plan yeah the divine like we need someone like that it requires evil that just means i anticipated what you were going to choose in my plan i already knew you were always a hot dog you're going to do hot dog things so i hope you won't do hot dog things but you will no i will do hot dogs in your nature you're never going to stop me i like god shouldn't have had to send jesus in the first place is the issue so the only reason we have jesus is a rescue mission because of the first doing a thing she shouldn't have done so now and then her dumb than her dumb simp husband going along with her so that led us into a prison it's like being born in prison okay not to be ganastic i'm not ganastic however the devil owns the world is the story okay he owns the kingdoms of the earth why did god want blood well the god of the world wants blood that's called the devil he wants blood who made the devil the devil's a creature he's you know god made a guy that became that they all had free will is that what we're getting at they all had yeah it's like it's not like it's not like god made him to do this but god did make god made him to do this no no yeah but he wasn't called the devil when he made him right it was you understand that so he knew he was going to be the devil you still get free will and you know what i'm omnipotent when i write a script where's free will uh you've you never wrote a script in your life no i'm saying you're You never wrote a fucking script. Sure, and you write in the character. All the characters are an aspect of you. However, you begin to have a collaboration with the characters you write if you're a writer who's any good. And I imagine the greatest writer, aka God, would be really good at that. So no, that's Gnostic, stupid, dualistic, fucking queef bullshit. Typical from a fucking hot dog. And you're making me side with fucking Mary Worshippers. And I resent it. Geez, you need to get so defensive, man. I made his point. I'm just saying God made the devil. That's right, I haven't heard it. That's also my favorite. Is that because you were wearing the crown of thorns there? It seems like that. God did make the crown of thorns. Carlos Antirrupto was in the shroud there. I mean, I guess we have a decision. We can follow or not follow. Because love has to be free. He wants us to love. Listen, I'm on board. I go to mass every Sunday. But what I like about Catholics is, contrary to. And we're like, ass. Contrary to popular opinion, you guys do let yourselves think about this stuff in ways that are seemingly blasphemous. What the hell is that? Can I ask Kurt one thing real quick? Do you think Jesus is basically like God writing himself into the script? If we're talking about him being like the ultimate author? I think Jesus is God's son. I would be what's called an A-R-I-A-N, not with a Y, with an I. An Arianist, because it's just how I was raised, which is that God and his son are separate people. It's his son. Oh yeah, you don't believe in the trinity. Right. But look, just to be clear, the trinity could be what it is. I don't give a shit if he's got three heads or one head. I don't care. Why would any salvation be contingent on believing one or the other? I don't see it. The way I was taught, which could be wrong, is that Christ is the one interceding. Because otherwise, I asked Jay Dyer this, who's an orthodox. Oh, you've talked to him. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, yeah, Jesus was smart. But I go, and James McCann, a comic we know, who's a Catholic, who had a better answer. But I go, so you're telling me that God got his mom pregnant with himself, is your story? And Jay was like, well, and he didn't have a good answer. I'm just going to put it that way. It's on the episode. James McCann just went, yes. James McCann's a better answer because he's, the old Doctor Who with Tom Baker, the best Doctor Who, they asked him, how he could be on his cheap sci-fi show and sell it so well? And he goes, because I'm a Catholic. If you could believe that, you could believe anything. And that's why he was the best of all the Doctor Who actors, because he had that. James McCann is like, I'm all in. I don't give a fuck. So that's kind of weird, because with The Shroud, it's like, how would any of my faith be contingent on this relic? So let me say two things. So because you brought up, this is the perfect moment to bring this up. This is, we're not fideist, and we're not pure rationalist. We're Catholic. Wait, what is a fideist? I don't know. Fideism is blind faith. So if I use an example, for example, let's say you're getting married. So blind faith would be, I don't know anything about the person I'm marrying, but I just hope that it's all going to work out. I have faith that it's going to work out. Your faith is blind because you're not basing it on any substantial reasons at all. Right. Purely rationalistic would be, I will not get married until I can guarantee that everything's going to work out and that every little thing is perfect. Okay. So these people are paralyzed. We're Catholic, which is, faith and reason fides et ratio. They work together. Now, Duncan, to get into how you like to be a Hindu about it, that's where the Mary worship comes, because the divine feminine and masculine, so you got a right brain, left brain, right? What he just described as an ideal, I'm paraphrasing you, is the balance between your masculine and feminine sides. I like it. Personality. So I understand like the framework of it, of how certain things are like, because you want to have the balance. And that's why like real smarty pants Catholics are the best people to talk to. I know. You know Tom Shalhoub? What? Tom Shalhoub, you know, comic? Yeah. You talked to Bishop Barron recently, and that's what I'm saying. He's amazing. We're a lot, we don't have to check our brain at the door. Yeah, no, it's just the laity do. The clergy, hey, I talk to all kinds of priests, they're delightful, intellectual types. The laity I'm talking about. Well, we need better catechism. We're in the 60s, we're not that great, but we, the Bible in a year, Father Mike Schmitz, we have a lot of people are becoming Catholic in France and other places like record baptisms. You know, I'll bet it's not. There's the end times in there, Mike. Hey, wait, oh, you know what you just reminded me of, dude? Do you think it's the end times, Carlos? No, I also want to ask about, because there's this Orthodox revival. I'm not including Jay Dyer in this. I think he's just an Orthodox Christian. Sure, and I like him, he's great. Yeah, and his wife's cool too, and they got good books that I recommend. Derpy Curp episode you can find with me. Anyway, there's it, when you say to Tartaria and all this other stuff, we had Dr. Heather Lynn on talking about it, and Satan's, little season thing, which I have never seen pushed in my entire lifetime until just now, which is that we're in the little season when, so for that to be possible, it means there was a real, like Christ's kingdom was on earth for a thousand years, and I think they're trying to say Byzantium, is that? Yeah, I don't know. Which he can't, come on. Satan's little season is spooky, though. That was our old band, it was spooky. First of all, he's dressed like a hot dog. People are like, what the fuck? Well, yeah, but people- This is before the Epstein part. If you know, you know. If you have eyes to see, you will see what this means. Look into the eyes of young Curb. Did I see your name there when I was scrolling through the Epstein file? Oh my, yes, I popped right up. He is in the file. Is he really? I thought I saw that, yeah. So is Big J, so is Joe DeRosa. Are you in? No. We were on a Comedy Central standup show. Not in the club. And someone invited, I do a bit about it because it makes me laugh, like someone invited, we don't know who because it's been blacked out for national security reasons. Oh, I'm sure it is, yeah. You can never tell. You can never know that or it would end this country. If you knew who invited Jeffrey for a night of comedy on his birthday, we don't know. He's blacked out. And if you do know, keep it to yourself because America's on the- Hot dog don't speak. It's back to the wall right now with gas prices. So anyway, I have a whole joke about it because it makes me laugh because I'm like, you know, it doesn't mean I did anything wrong, but look, even if I did, what would you fucking pussies do about it? They've got swords. They've got swords. Shut the fuck up. You see any fucking vigilante or police action, action for the episode? No, you don't. You don't. So everybody can talk any shit they want, but like to me, the Epstein file should be the end of America itself. Everybody's a bitch here. That's why they're all going on like it's fine. But nevermind aliens landing. You just got this closure of the craziest shit I've ever heard in my lifetime. And I'm watching every punk on this fucking, except me and one black guy at that airport in Atlanta who I wish I could get on the show, who's screaming at everyone like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. So there you go. And so we tell you the real appeal of Jesus is that is like one guy who's definitely right. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just going to be, he's right. He's the antidote to this whole thing is maybe you can't change the system. You can't change all, but you can change yourself. You can get baptized, get in the church. Now you hear the hermetic aspect of that. Not that they would call it that or I'm into hermeticism, but it's, there's still a thing that's a theme that is common, which is, but I don't think it's invalid. I'm just saying the pull the rapture out of your own eye. Jesus says, yeah, you know, before you pick the splinter out of your brother's eye. If you are acting like even Gandhi said it, in fact, most of the Hindu gurus will tell you, we'll do what Jesus said. By the way, what you just said would fix the internet. If like every, everyone could discard all of Christianity, but if they just adhered to that one recommendation, which is, why don't you deal with your own shit before you start getting into someone else's shit? I'm joking. No. You know what I mean? That alone, like if you, if you look at some of the recommendations and you apply just one of them to society, society instantly improves. Yeah, but I would, I would, I would caveat that by saying that a lot of people want to do like social work, like UN, like kind of volunteering all that, but without Christ, without Christ, basically you take away the whole point because we're made by him and for him. Everything. Can I stop? I'm going to push back. Go ahead. So I'm some starving, like kid. Yeah. And a UN worker comes to me with a bag of rice. I'm not going to be like, did Jesus tell you to bring me rice? No, no. What did Jesus say? He said, if you fed me or if you clothed me, like anytime you did that to the least of them, like you did it to me. But if your point is, if you're doing social work without Jesus, it becomes somewhat. I'm saying it gets, it leads to pride. Like it leads to saying, look, like we don't need. So what? The boy gets rice. We're not consequentialists. We're not about like the alcohol. Hey, I got news for both of you nerds. What? You call it whatever you want. It turns out the same problems happen whether you call it Christian or you don't call it Christian. In fact, you know, the reason I grew up a Jehovah's Witness is because my mom grew up a disillusioned Catholic. Oh, I didn't know that. Wow. She converted to Jehovah's Witness. And my aunt, who looks just like my mom, converted to Harry Craig. My uncle is the lawyer for that religion. This is why we're friends. I almost became a Harry Christian. My wife's Catholic. Well, that's my cousins who grew up in that. So cool. And honestly, God, dude, we get along very well. Like it's, my mom and her sister look like twins. They're not, but they look like they're twins. But they're both disillusioned Catholics in a certain time period that find like friends. So just like now, you have like this upheaval and people looking for. And so you'll see people returning to like Catholicism. Yes. So people do different things. They go, I want to find a thing that I want to find. They're like, oh, the thing I had as a kid was right. But this is an unfreezing of your, if I was the, one of the lizards running the world, this would be a trauma traumatizing time to unfreeze your set ways. use stupid language like everyone's ascending or moving into a different whatever because right now the crisis the instability creates a lot of free agency in the mind okay so it's like a open market like people are just grabbing mental real estate right and left with stuff i would say that we would have to go with whatever's true like i don't know about you guys go with the objective truth you know so and so you could right so my thing is oh love and light well what um what about the i would like to know the truth if you really love me i feel like you would be telling me the truth you know yeah that's a number one part so the truth and and that's the thing dude if you think about that adam eve story whatever the actual story is the story of the first lie that's really fucking interesting because that's the basis of magic the first magic i want to alter reality with my very will yeah yeah i mean it was the lies of the devil you'll be as great as god all that i get it well what do they say okay i mean i mean that there's a house of cards of lies just like god you'll be gone in his false promises listen listen there's a house of cards of lies that all of civilization rests on that if you read that genesis story it tells you we forget all the little stupid details it might sound dumb somebody lied and no one was telling lies like that but and not a lie that's a full lie but like a it's a half truth which is a lie yeah exactly so based on that then think about your country or your whatever it is that you think is very true and that's the truth and that's the truth and that's the truth and that's the truth and that's the truth it's very special your church or your family is it based on lies well then you know you got a fucking problem yeah and and so yeah who's the one who said i am the way the truth in the life i would say that for example if we could not be gnostics and say jesus of nazareth existed right he's a historical figure i'm not gnostic good good good that's the first step then you would have to say answer the question like did he die yeah historically jesus of nazareth was did he die if you're going to be in the religion you gotta say he died and not so we had daryl james uh veteran secret space program i remember i remember his commanding officer because they had that looking glass i'm just yeah i'm not telling you whether it's true i'm just telling you this story uh and he said uh no yeah jesus lived in his uh he had a kid he had three kids and as soon as i heard that i'm because i'm listening for little details in these stories as soon as i heard that i'm like okay i know what the fuck this is so that's you that's how you know by the way templars are connected to the programming done on daryl james um jesus has to have died if the religion is valid if he didn't die christianity is in fucking valid if he didn't rise it's invalid but he historically both of them he need to die and so if you want you don't have to believe it but i'm telling you if you want to be like i'm a christian for it to work out and the reason it has to be that way is because you're born in a goddamn saturn cube okay and the only thing that free and a thing you're born in a thing where you have to keep feeding it blood there's the god of the world you got to feed blood so right and and christ is the reason you don't have to give it any more blood if you don't believe in nothing else about it but you're into it stop feeding the beast blood they you they made a deal somewhere along line where we all got to feed blood to this thing and christ was like because they fucked up and collected a bill that wasn't due on one guy who might have been you know god that means now you're not in that debt that they wanted to have you born in and it was a thing done in accordance with the rules of the maniac that rules the world not god do you understand right that's why god had to have a judas and all those stupid fucking things people say is because you don't live in god's world you live in the adversary of mankind's world but we do pray thy kingdom come like on earth as it is in heaven so we we want the kingdom to be the kingdom of god is already here it's just not as it is in heaven my catholic friend this is a battle let me give a really irrational maybe irrational non-complex experience you're watching non-complex hot dog when i go to when i go to mass i experience something that i've never experienced before are you dressed as a hot dog because i can explain they won't let me which by itself is really weird because you know you get to be my age you think you felt everything right and then that whatever that thing is i really don't care about all the other bullshit like it makes me not care about this stuff or the complexities of it or the math or you read jesus judas to get jesus or this or that or all of those things kind of dissolve into some kind of like everything becomes very mysterious everything becomes very mysterious ununderstandable i just felt so everything becomes very ununderstandable for me yeah and beautiful in in a way that i haven't experienced yeah and it makes all of this stuff seem secondary yeah i agree well that's why god is first i would say you're supposed to have this divine experience it's the eucharist god is there literally maybe you don't believe that yet but he's there i would recommend it's not the mecharist it's the what yeah not the mecharist the eucharist eucharistia yeah it's it's we catholics maybe you know already we literally believe that jesus is in in the bread in the host i gotta do the old x oh yeah yeah i can't i gotta go up there okay look at this um wait let him finish this last point yeah just a mystery for mystery boys would be if you are are you familiar with eucharistic miracles have you heard about those because jesus told he shows us sometimes like we there are those who believe without seeing and and they have good reasons to because he said but there have been times where the host actually has blood on it and they've tested that blood scientifically and really you can look into if you just look at that look up if they gave me the the wafer and they have blood on it i'm not eating it yeah and yet it's weird because i mean that is a weird thing about catholics we literally believe we're drinking what do you mean there's no transubstantiation but you what do you mean i mean you would call it cannibalism right i don't think i would use that word but i see i see why you would think that yeah like you're eating this was a human he said his flesh yeah so it's cannibalism well if it gives me eternal life then sure i'll take it you'll eat flesh you're the you know what you can eat my body i don't need hot dog okay literally they didn't eat him i'm a hot dog you just like guys eat me at the last supper they didn't eat jesus literally right i mean in any rendition of that story but in the transubstantial this is yeah we're talking about catholic dog doctrine you don't think maybe a metaphor is catholic doctrine wait let's say let's say that that didn't happen transubstantial let's just say that that didn't happen transubstantial let's just just say it didn't happen sure okay the metaphor doesn't still work no i would say to hell with it if it doesn't if it's not real he wants to eat the god's flesh but you don't understand how much dude the holographic principle if you want to be scientific or the hermetic principle if you want to be a fairy okay the when you break a hologram plate the smallest piece of it has the hole in it yeah so that's what all these creeps that do shit to kids are they're like they think they're stabbing god do you understand i see what yeah so so what i'm saying is since that principle is a and there's something to it there's not nothing to it there's something to it and the point of jesus was to stop shedding blood and whatever like does this have to be like stranger in a strange land i don't think that it does what do you mean to have the same effect what do you mean stranger in a strange way yeah oh yeah okay if you grok what i'm saying i grok you you get you grok you there that's a guy doing a gnostic jesus bit where he's actually like because uh in the book i forget the guy's name but um you know he's like the hippie cult and they uh when he gets killed they because cats eat like they're dead young or something and martians think like cats so everybody's oh this soup is really good they're doing like and it's supposed to be like a clever comment but i don't think it's a clever commenter in the last supper i think he's representing a thing at the last supper because the whole point is to not feed blood to the goddamn beast with a perfect the perfect sting operation happens everybody owes a bill just you know is there a rock so big god can't move it that kind of logic so god playing by the rules of this world sends in a thing to make you not have to be subject to it that satan the adversary not of god but of you i see i mean why else would never see coming because he's a creation like you're a creation that's cool yeah he he took the sins of the world upon his head why i mean we're looking at the crown of thorns like right why there's a bill that gets passed down everybody's like who's gonna pay like the deficit yeah yeah nobody's almost the original sin in a metaphorical sense now i'm not saying it is the original like the host or is the but but you see the metaphor yes i do wait jesus is the what the new adam and mary is the new eve so mary obeyed or disobeyed that is what explains a lot of italian guys what mary's the new eve i i don't want to get into the oedipus parts of that but that is weird as shit jesus is the new adam yes and mary is the new his mom is the new wife of adam oh yeah yeah we see how it could cause yeah yeah like italian guys that live with their mom till they're 30 and then that was the original guy that don't move out with some italian guy because he's not married so he's out banging but you can't leave your mama's house do you have a new yeah hey can you that's catholic can you can you talk about i would guess that weird shit probably happens around the shroud of turin yes can you talk about some events that have happened around it we're just talking me that uh um people have tried to use like the because this i feel like this might be like my last public appearance like ever why well i think it's that bad a podcast no you You were just telling me. A lot of people do say that. That's the most intense. Wouldn't be the first time we've heard it. That's the stop the shit. You were just, he's the, remember, he's the I like swimming guy from the movie. Right, you don't like hot dog in the brain. I love hot dog in the brain. No, but this is, my brother was just telling me before we went on. Hot dog in the brain. I don't know where he's going with this. I want to hear, what? You were telling me that people have tried to use the Shroud for personal gain and they've died in very mysterious ways. And you were saying that. It's like those rocks from Hawaii you can't take. You were saying that a guy tried to use the Shroud for personal gain and he died in a fiery car crash. So I feel like I might die. What did he gain? I feel like I might die in a fiery car crash on the way home. What did he try to gain? You're not using it for personal gain. I think you guys are doing a good job. No, we're here to share, yeah. Yeah, but what about. If you give me free shit, then it's not. Let me make a quick list. Okay, yeah, yeah. How about. I'm worried about the fiery car crash on the way home. I might take a cyber cab. I'm not sure. You'll be fine. The image sits on 0.2 microns on the surface. So it doesn't penetrate the cloth. The blood is soaked in, but the image you could shave off with a razor blade. It's super thin. Our best lasers today can't make an image like that. That's one. Two, just the two variables themselves. The crown of thorns plus someone being crucified. There is nobody else in history that matches that description. Three is that the blood came first. That's nothing unusual about that. A burial cloth and blood. But then the image, we can't explain when it was, but it is there. You cannot deny that it is there. It has a lot of blood. It has a photographic negative effect. Can we talk about what started the interest in this whole thing? Yeah, how about. Right. So there was a photographer, amateur photographer, Italian. His name was Secondo Pia. And he was the first guy to photograph the Shroud of Turin. And what he realized when he looked at the photographic negative, that image looked like a positive. It looked more real than the real Shroud itself. And this is what we're seeing here on the plate. I've heard this before. That's right. I've never heard this. So he's a photographer. He can explain that better. It looks like in Mexico. When they had the alien bodies and the unboxed aliens. So here's. Wait, what is that? This is a reproduction of what Jesus would have looked like in the tomb. They did a scan called the VP8. Of that image. They did a scan. Oh, it has 3D information encoded. It's called the VP8 analyzer. So this is a 3D rendering of what's in the Shroud. Can I see that? That's cool. Yeah, yeah. Just be careful. Be careful. What's it made of? I think it's 3D printed. It's 3D printed, but it's coated in bronze resin. Well, now, obviously, I'm checking. I'm checking nose length first to make sure this could be accurate. Here's a Shroud. Come on. We haven't shown it yet. What do you mean, come on? That's a fact. Oh, this is a mini Shroud. That's right, yeah. But they ran the Shroud through this analog computer called the VP8 analyzer. What it did was it took light and shadow data and turned it into high and low data. Yeah, right. So it made a topographical map. So this is a 3D model based on that scan. Yeah, that's pretty cool, dude. Of the man of the Shroud. It's wild that you guys made action figures of this. Yeah. Look at that. It's a good teaching tool. It has a Shroud you can put on it. These are the only ones we're allowed to play with at home, you know? Wait, you can actually put the Shroud over it now? Yeah, so let me demonstrate. I couldn't write a sketch more better than this. So on, like I was saying, and this is something, I mean, you know, it's not. This is a commercial for when I'm a kid. Yeah, this is usually the kid-friendly, like, I don't know. Check it out. It's a good teaching tool for kids because they can kind of do this, but it's, Jesus would have been right. You're making it like I'm sniffing you. I don't get that part of it. Well, I did taste it. He was wrapped, and then he was bound. And we know this because he was buried according to the Jewish burial custom. And we don't have to go very far in the Gospels to know who else was buried. There was a guy, Lazarus, who was buried the same way. And then when Jesus tells him, you know, come out, Lazarus, he comes out, and then he tells the disciples, unbind him, meaning he was bound still. So there was clearly something to unbind. So that's what I was saying before about the balloon, how it's. It seems like the shroud was still bound. Because the gas is filling up. It just, like, deflated like this. It just went all the way down. There's no signs that he won't, you know. Very David Copperfield. Exactly, yeah. But where was this? It got burned where? In France? Was it in France? It got, yeah, in Chambéry, 1532. The shroud. So if you see these, these are burn marks. Oh, that's what that is? Yeah. And they're symmetrical because this was in a reliquary. Patricia, maybe you can fold it. Oh, that's crazy. So if you see. I didn't know that. I didn't know those were burn marks. That's why it's symmetrical. You can tell how it was, like, wrapped up. I have to show it to you. Stay wrapped up. Wow. So it would have been. Will you put something in, guys? It would have been folded up like this. A skull, S-C-O-L-E experiment. Photos. And there's a reason for this. S-C-O-L-E, skull experiment. Skull experiment? That's when I was in high school. Tried dip for the first time. I peed for three hours straight. Now, that's a Tar Heel. If I ever heard one. Hey, you got it, man. That's a Tar Heel. It wasn't fun. It were fun. Yeah, that guy's from the Piedmont. If I ever, if I don't. Yeah, you heard it. You got it, brother. Shit was spinning. Okay, wait, wait. Skull experiment, photos. No, no, go down. Skull experiment, photo, photo images. There's something that this story is reminding me of a lot. Okay. We can click the images. Wow. Now, so when they did this experiment, Oh, we got to get Tony Mara on because he knows all about this. So do you see that little big head? Now, this is the same kind of alien that, what's his name? The guy that stunk up that house, Crowley, a lamb type. The guy who stunk up that house. Yeah, we all got to admire him because he stunk a house up once. Didn't that even house Led Zeppelin owned? Yeah. That burnt down? You know, they say Crowley, the Loch Ness Monster was never seen before. So Crowley stunk up the house? Well, look, I believe he could have done it, but if you think he's the only one doing that, plus think of what an atomic weapon detonating. Think of the ritual nature of that. David Lynch knew that. That's why he put it in a Twin Peaks remake. Cool. Bob, the demon comes in through the atomic blast. That's cool. David Lynch put in a couple of like things that are like deep cut. That's cool. Into like, okay. And the lodges and all. Okay. So this image, these were burned into the, without taking a photo, they were burned onto the film. The thing you were describing. Oh, got it. Yeah. Oh, cool. Okay. And so I don't want to get into all the details of the story. Look it up. But, uh, Tony, uh, Steve Mara, sorry, Steve Mara. I had, uh, Nathaniel Gillis. Who's been on our show. Smart chain. Duncan remember smart chain called it. Yeah. They have a great channel where they talk about this, but Steve Mara could talk all about this, the things where they were in some thin place talking to the other side, whatever the fuck that is, all kind of shit can happen. All kinds of shit can happen in the experiment. What was it? Like, explain it to me. What happened? It was like a seance and, uh, and they burnt something in a photographic film or what did they go without? They actually had, um, he said, uh, uh, well, apportationship, but they had, um, like a newspaper that they kept under glass. It was like a newspaper from the time, but it, it, it disintegrated like almost immediately after it sounds like the Bledsoes. Yeah. So some kind of energy. So, so. So there's something, if you do it right, where you can get effects like this. So right. The shout turn a hundred, look, a hundred percent. I don't believe in supernatural. If a thing happens, then it's natural. It either don't happen. Or that's what, I mean, there's a million dollar reward. Anyone who can replicate it. Nobody's been able to do it. It's it's all the very, they sometimes we get one very, but they don't get all of them at the school experiment where I think that they replicated it in some way. Because all this is, is the, it's like the same thing of like, how could this image appear? And this thing without doing this to that, but they replicated it with a super. And I know with a super normal or whatever you want to call it, if you read Tracy Twyman research, by the way, when she went to France and studied the, uh, with the Templars and all, and she got the actual, when the, so you do the Vatican put out a, it was not a pardon of the Templars. Okay. Okay. And I say that by way, let me be pro Pope here. I don't think they were wrong to execute them. Templars at all, at all. What do you say? What do you think about that? In fact, they lured, they lured the guy that they went in, uh, uh, you know, who's the prince, uh, uh, who's the, uh, the guy or who's the guy they burned. Um, he thought he was going in for the Pope to tell him to start a new crusade. The crusaders had a real Pete Hegseth department of war, uh, Bannon mentality that people are only good in the crucible of war. I see. Forever war, that idea where a bank finances forever war that originates in the early 20th century, it's what the Templars, that's not the Jews, although the Jews were put in the Judas situation of being the front of the tax collector that you hate. Okay. Jacques de Molay. So Jacques de Molay, when he went back to France, he thought he was going in to get a new assignment, just like in, um, good fellas where he thought he was getting made. Yeah. You know? Oh no. That's what happened. Okay. So what's Tracy Twyman's research? Why it's so great. What is it? The Templars were channeling with their John the Baptist. It's called the first thing on a Ouija board. They were doing, they invented the banking system. We have now. So you see like, nevermind rockets and spaceships. Imagine the V who gives you the vision to set up banking, a thing that we've had since then the same way, right? Money lending is one thing that's like mobsters can do that, but banking is a different thing. Yeah. All I can think of to this is I think of father Ripper who was a exorcist and he talks, didn't he get in trouble or something? He, I think. - I don't think so, yeah. - 'Cause what he- - I'm not sure why, but- - I wanted to ask you about that. Wait, will you pass me a white glove? Oh, yeah, sorry. So, wait, wait, wait, wait. I saw him on. Can we pull up Father. What's his name? Ripperger? Ripperger. I saw him on the Sean Palmisano. Sean Ryan? Well, his real name's Palmisano. Oh, is it? Yeah. The Sean Palmisano paid show. Now, he's had people on there. I'm just saying my good buddy Eric Hecker was on. What'd he get in trouble for? But was he the one. So, yeah, you explain it better. Has he gotten some kind of problem with the church? It could just be a sanction. It seems like. I can't speak. I don't know the details, but it seems like they told him for a year you're not allowed to go on podcasts or to. Because he said the visitors are demons or something? I'm not sure what it was for, but what I was trying to get at is that the demons are fallen angels, and they're highly intelligent, and he's an exorcist. Like, that's his job is he takes demons out of people. Oh, wait, wait, hold on. Daimon's a Greek word. Fallen angels comprise one, which I think are. I forget what they're called. But there's other shit that are not fallen, and it's not necessarily non-biblical either. There's other shit that are daimon. What are you talking about? In the Greeks, your daimon is the point where you're. You're interacting with God and the universe. You know, like, there's your material body. There's a connection point to the unreal, right? There's no room for the real in the world of the unreal. So when something real goes in unreal, something pops out. Interesting. I'm blathering a lot of my own shit. But anyway, the daimon idea is that's where you connect. So genius is a form of daimon. Okay. Right? That's just what those words mean. So all I. Yeah, all I know is that. Demons negative. They're highly intelligent. They don't have to be fallen angels. Demons are all highly intelligent. There's no dumb ones. Yo, if you want to be Bible-y. Angels and demons, yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, if you want to be Bible-y, Gary Wayne, who's not. Who's. I had him on my show. His research on it was great because he thought of things I would have never considered. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying, is that these ideas that. A lot of our thoughts that we think are not necessarily ours, and there could be. That's creepy. Throughout history, people got a certain kind of intelligence, and it may have come from demons, and I've heard. Have you ever seen an exorcism? No. Would you ever go to one? Actually, yes, because a trivia question here is that every baptism has an exorcism. Oh, yeah, that's right. You know, and this is what sucks about baptism, because it might. Is that me playing chess with Jesus? When I. When I. Okay, that's funny. Now, I'd like to get a painting and give it to these guys. Hold on, wait, wait, wait. You're playing against yourself. Wait to E4. We have a gift for you. It's a painting of this. When you go to Catholic Mass, when they do baptisms, and some kids. That's actually beautiful. They start screaming. Look at Jesus exacerbating with Carlos. You think it's because Carlos could be coming out? Carlos Interrupter. What do you think? Yeah, Carlos can stop. I scream all the time. I love it. I don't know. I don't want to judge him, but. Okay, hold on. I got a shit, so can I? Go ahead. Okay. When it. Oh, look at Jesus. Oh, Carlos, you're so immature. Look at him. Carlos Interrupter. What? Jesus, I got a shit. Have you seen Carlos Interrupter talking? Come on, man. Jesus is like, "Can I talk?" Oh, you have little faith. Jesus is like, "Shut the fuck up!" Have you learned nothing? No, I haven't. I'm like, "I don't know what you're talking about. did i make this one he interrupts the man of lawlessness all right well i really do have to shit though it's not a bit i'm taking a full shit are you actually going to shit not that it's your business but i did bring it up myself so you better believe it do you need a poop doula there or how does that go did you say poop doula this is your thing he knows that I'm a poop doula he probably sensed it on me do you need a fellow like poop doula did your abuela give you a gift she did yeah Mexican abuelas this is what they do hold on someone else in here needs a shit right now okay well I can't worry about them because I got a shit we need to make an action figure play set of this and then we need to make an action figure I'm going to make the commercial the commercial is going to be the action figures of this they come with smaller action figures they play with of this I love it what is what is the I do think that one thing that's cool about that's not going to feel self-flagellation not gonna feel good self-flagellation the stones yeah they're supposed to be bone and lead bone and mud rip you up a hundred and what is it 120 140 there's a how many isn't there a rolling stone at least 140 what's the rolling stone song about the lashes jesus god what is it what what is what is like a supernatural thing that you have personally encountered working with the Shroud of Turin oh man well I would say even just how I started with this whole thing it I would say that's pretty amazing it's literally a blessing and I have a picture maybe they can pull up but the reason that I got involved was my wife and I took a trip to Rome and we switched our itinerary we weren't really supposed to be there that Wednesday we were going to go to the papal audience on Sunday now Pope Francis had just passed away and pope leo had just been in three weeks after he was uh inaugurated and we brought uh our eight-month-old son and we put a little pope hat on him to see if we could get the pope's attention yeah there are so many things that had to line up but next thing i know the pope's blessing my son whoa cool and that day that i that's intense the picture's on the news that yeah i made a rome report it was on the news which is funny because my wife doesn't want my nephew yeah but but that picture is fine you don't want pictures of your kid yeah yeah that one's like on the side he was little and and the vatican just i mean it went everywhere wow but that same day is the day that i went to dinner to to have you know lunch with some friends and basically i met a priest named father andrew dalton who is the expert on the shroud of turin and he's the one who got me involved in this wow and i you know the timing of being there getting a good spot the fact that the pope like he he has spots to that he can spot uh stop in why did he have to stop and he could stop but just wave not necessarily like get the blessing and then out of all the priests in rome there are many priests you see them all the time i yeah i'm always trying to greet them like hey father hey father and over there it's you got to pace yourself like roxbury that's what i think and um anyway why why him and then the fact that my life changed after that i I'm a cradle Catholic, and I didn't even know about the Shroud of Turin. I thought it was something on the History Channel. I didn't think it was something. When you're around it, do you feel anything? Not the replica itself. Have you been around the actual Shroud? We've got to go to Turin. No, you have to go to Turin. I've been to Rome. I've been to Venice. So you've never been around it in Persia? Why not? You should go. I need to take the trip, yeah. But I keep hearing from people that have. The other thing is, if we took a trip right now, then we wouldn't be able to see it. You could pray outside of it. It's in the Cathedral of John the Baptist, inside a chapel, in a dark room where light doesn't hit it, with argon gas. So no one can look at it. You can look at a replica. They haven't shown it, I think, since 2015. Is that right? Wow. For some reason, I'm not sure. The Jubilee year. They were supposed to do it last year, but because Pope Francis passed away, I guess the plans switched. Wow. The owner of the Shroud, that's something else that's important, is the Pope. Since 1983, it used to be King Umberto, last king of italy which is weird to think about how italy had kings but he bequeathed it to the popes so now from john paul ii to pope benedict to you own the shroud of turin he owns it put it so the pope could theoretically put the shroud on ebay i mean he could do what he wants to put him on his back like a superhero cape you know he could he owns it he's the owner yeah and that's actually why we're coming up on all the 50th anniversary of stirp we haven't talked about stirp stirp is the shroud of turn research project so after right this is after secondo pio took that picture this is what brought up this interest and they found they've established this stirp yeah they realized research project why is there a photographic effect on the shroud in the first century or in medieval times whatever you want to date it to explain the photographic effect before photography that led the scientific community to say we're going to get the best team of americans here and they had uh you know agnostics jews uh christians catholics they go to italy they get some people from italy as well and they do 100 and 120 hours of testing five days uninterrupted with the shroud and the conclusions from stirp were they still can't tell you what it is but they can tell you what it's not they realized this is not paint this is not dye this is not pigment this is not a scorch this is not a rubbing there's no directionality there's no brush strokes you know it's we don't know how this thing was made and so the pope has the ability to if some people want to do another testing on it like either carbon dating or something else he's the owner so he could make that they haven't done carbon dating they did do carbon dating in 1988 they carbon dated it and this was all over the news yeah they it came out all over the it's a shroud of turin fake medieval forgery yeah but what happened is they took the many things happened but they took the sample from the only location that was different to the rest of the cloth. So it wasn't representative of that. It was repaired there. It had been patched by some nuns, the poor Claire sisters. And that's one thing. Also, there were supposed to be seven laboratories that were supposed to examine it. They only sent it to three, Oxford, Zurich, and Arizona. They were supposed to be independent of each other and publish independently they collaborated and published together i'm gonna ask you a hard question go ahead if you if it did come out like you said catholicism rational faith yeah in between great yeah if it did come out that in fact this was a forgery yes how would you react it wouldn't change anything and this i'm so good that's cool i'm grateful for the question because this is so important the christian faith catholic faith because that's it's the the og is is based on the witness of the apostles to the resurrection right that's what it's based on the shroud of turin could be fake and it's icing on the cake it's not what right yeah i think yeah just like icing on the cake it's cool yeah exactly yeah exactly it doesn't rest on that that's not the foundation what is and actually i would i would go as far as to say that not believing in the resurrection is almost irrational because you have to come up with an alternate theory jesus appeared to many people 500 at a time many at a time you have to kind of say that you had mass psychosis or mass delusions like but you have to make the choice do you believe the apostles who said we saw the risen lord and that went to their deaths for because remember they had been scared in the upper room for their lives for fear of the jews that's what it said to now saying i'm going to be tortured crucified upside down boiled and i won't deny jesus and that many people have gone like many people will die for a lie people like to say that nobody will die for a lie i think that's false i think many people genuinely die for things that they think vietnam vietnam uh jihadists like well you can use many examples but what people will not do is die is do a whole 180 go from being scared to the same people saying i can't deny this you can you know boil me you can do whatever and and and have a complete 180 that doesn't make sense what do you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean or the experience you have engaging with catholicism yeah what's more what's more important i would say you don't need to have all the knowledge data uh as a father mike schmitz like to say you need to have a relationship with jesus because he became a human so that we could relate to him so that we could relate to the divinity that is in god so he became like us so that we might become like him do you think jesus would say like don't you sometimes it just feels like people get lost in the sauce it's like i've all anytime i see anything about examining the historical jesus i my eyes glaze over i'm so bored by that okay and and the the bickering that inevitably happens yeah debates and the debates and all of that stuff don't you think that is distracting from the whole point of the yeah of of the event or or what it's saying is that the church is the body of christ yeah that you that's literal that's meant to be taken literally yes yeah right so yeah no i'm grateful for that question because the way we come to know jesus can be different but some people even this when we finish our exhibit and in that booklet we think of doubting thomas who said i will not believe until i put my finger in his side his fucking finger sorry for christy he had to stick his finger in a in his wound yeah there are some people to answer your question that need that so if you want the intellectual tradition i see it's there if you were raised a certain way by your parents i always say that when i help teenagers like you should question your faith like don't do it because you were just taught that because it can with catholicism can withstand it so you can have that but you ultimately you need a relationship with jesus and so it's about love it's about that if uh poop time or what is that if you have if you do all the great works and all that you don't have love it's all in vain and adoration and for people that don't know adoration if people want silence in this world there's a lot of noise and chaos just look up adoration to see what it is because it's you alone in silence with god that's called adoration adoration that's cool and it's just the body the body there and you can just have silence and just go and experience it for yourself i would say there you go shroud of it's just cool but it's not the whole thing yeah but if it is if it is true then it would be it is it would be the most prized relic of all the christendom because it has our lord's blood on it well sounds very materialistic to me sorry i just took a shit and it's if they if they done dna tests on the blood i think dna tester it's too it's been handled by so many people that it's not reliable i don't know if you know didn't weren't you telling me something they were um found what the the blood type is on the blood type of blood type of blood and uh the eucharist and the i think they used to say like a b and if it is and i believe it is then it would have to be a b and it matches the eucharistic miracles but there's the good thing about science is like it keeps evolving there are debates people can go to shroud.com and look at the research papers some people spend their whole lives.com that's not a dating site for what to meet orthodox jews in my area that want to fuck and through a shoot okay so matt's i gotta ask you what's the most prized relic of your life and what's the most prized relic of your life you do you think it's the end of the world do you think this is the this is the end of the world i think that they're going to try to make it the end of the world but they don't get to say when it is hey and can you guys pull up i don't know can you guys pull up the whole storing up food thing that's that is is in our notes because i don't know if you can find it i i know japan look up japan england tells people to store up food have you heard about this metzger what this like it's this is like okay here we go japan will issue a national nationwide emergency request on november 2nd urging citizens to stockpile at least three days and ideally a week of food and water can you pull up that's to get them hyped up to fight russia can you pull up the england one too is that what you think this is that dude i mean stockpile food it's over for europe that's day of the dead by the way is that a coincidence or no it's not in fact they did you remember this look wait real quick real quick the uk government launched the be red ready urging households but why japan why is japan doing this that russia russia is going to attack i don't know why japan is doing that where does it say that pull oh you just go back rewind the tape you fucking asshole you're just over there rambling japan will issue a nationwide emergency request on november 2nd urging citizens to stockpile at least three days and ideally a week of food and water rewind the day i'm over here drawing these you're over there taking pictures of you and your leprechaun now you fuck look japan to ask people japan oh this is japan to ask people to stock up supplies ahead of national disaster agency launch so people online right now are freaking out because all of these japan uk people are saying store up food and people are saying then pull up cnn uh pull up cnn mega volcano uh one point i like to do it carlos interrupto would like to make a point oh this is a good interrupting wand look at this who made this is genius carlos interrupt no that's not it i don't even swear i would have to send the link to you for this but seen an accident excuse me go ahead this is incredible i didn't know you had the wand i didn't know you was on my chair when i got back from my shit go ahead go ahead interrupt i'm sorry go ahead i mean you know like people get scared when i start when i come i go oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry okay okay go oh god he's gonna interrupt that's what they say when i pull it out pull it out like the bad guy from indiana jones what do you got what are you guys talking about we're waiting for the interruption to see what you were gonna say when you interrupted he has to break into song or something oh now patricio carlos is that a thing yeah it looks great that's my that's my patron saint by the way patrick patricio patrick saint patrick you know that's your patron saint you know uh uh who's the lord of the rings guy now that's a cambridge uh convention uh using your initials like that like jk rowling jara tolkien right what do you mean like the way they write their names it's a hogwarts convention naming convention what yeah did you know that what do you mean i don't understand like we all do that we write a book we put like dp dp oh i'm dpg johnson also do we all know by the way that uh the lord of the rings is like the most catholic like uh movies like well before you get excited you should know that uh his son became a priest also whoa yeah is that no bearing on your faith i'm just telling you what is away from lord of the rings but i didn't know but uh i think tolkien thought he was writing down kind of like the real history it is because there's merely a metaphorical overlay for it like many of these stories he said the most important thing about this is that i have a bowel movement i don't know you're good okay yeah we gotta get a timer for a hot dog look a hot dog's gotta go reproduce asexually we like yeah think about it on the pot no okay thank you let me tell you something oh this is great who made this but but yes yes yeah uh it's like the white when he came back same thing same thing we're talking about like maybe he came back rainbow colored believe in queer no he came back uh glowing in life and they didn't recognize him like he was saying you know christ is really an allegory what sam that's right they didn't recognize him he was he was shining while white like like in the scriptures like jesus when he comes back to the disciples same thing he's a mirror right there i mean i like those books and kind of like similar yeah they're great books great movies and the ring is a symbol for sin so that's maybe like falls into your world well it probably means a lot of things don't it because when you when you put it on this is uh who am i going to hear because they're trying to do it to rule them all and they're you become visible to the palantir right to the to the right to the all-seeing eye palantir we're dealing with right now so when you sin exactly they can't pick the more evil name right well and then uh we they're not trying to hide it is that what that means like it's almost like uh giving shout it's like putting 33 and everything it's it's gang signs you're throwing up kind of i think i view it as you know um but the the that's really like something the the um lord of the rings shit i mean yeah it's really like yeah because aragorn is a figure for christ uh gandalf who's the gandalf and frodo as well well frodo who's the main different ways yeah frodo they all represent an aspect has to carry the cross has to carry the ring do we got the we talk about the nails here already no you've heard the gypsy legend right that um there was like golden nails for jesus and then a gypsy boy stole the nails so they couldn't like crucify him right away so they were like oh that's good you did that so now you guys can steal and again i would i would just let's look at any of these stories like i mean let's just put it to the test see what see where the evidence leads got a basketball okay hey an old school basketball you know what this reminds me of a movie idea i had a while back a man alone on an island in a hot dog suit with only a basketball volleyball would be better it would be better with the imprint of like by the way that's the name of the movie a volleyball would be better starring i love it duncan trust fall uh-huh oh man okay uh first of all how is your shit i'm gonna be honest i lied i had to pee that's pretty fucked up dude i'm sorry now you know lying is a sin right did we not talk about this all right you know lying is a sin right have you been talking about this witness again missing the mark missing the mark yeah missing the mark missing the mark that's what people don't like about christianity they don't want to look into themselves they want to think they're just perfect the way they are and i get that yeah you haven't had anyone okay keep in mind duncan they might have been raised in it and didn't care for also people been religiously abused i mean that's the other problem most of society you can bet your ass was traumatized we're all fallen there's evil everywhere well that sounds like it's my fault but it's not whose fault is it i don't know i just got here man somebody has to pay the bill but that could be jesus i didn't start it we didn't start the fire a great man said that billy fucking joel baby a saint i believe if i'm not mistaken saint joel is he is that is he in the process of getting canonized is that what's going on uh i thought it was that guy that looked like a hot like a golem pope golem that left real quick under weird circumstances oh the 16th listen the modern one are you talking about the 16th pope benedict yeah he's the only one that like uh kind of like renounced right it was well because he didn't want to release all the you know i have a question for you he wasn't good you two are devout catholics you have a you know this is a platform and if you if if jesus was moving through you and was saying talk to these people out there many of them are going to be like just i don't want to hear this shit what would you say to the people listening right now who could be on the fence or maybe like you know being feeling that bizarre magnetic pull towards the church what would your message to them can i just interrupt i'm sorry perfect timing yeah i was trying to hold it i would tell them like god loves you he made you he knew you before you before you were born but when when you were conceived because life starts at conception and i would tell people go to adoration even if you don't know what it is look it up and just spend an hour in silence 30 minutes in silence and see where that leads because we truly believe he is there and adoration yeah so it's uh the we believe that the host again the eucharist is the literally the body of christ so you can go to any catholic church near you and you can spend some time quiet time with jesus it's just a good time to just get away from all the noise that we have all the scrolling all the uh oh you mean you go into a church and you can just sit there and pray if you want and that's yeah but i'm not talking about just it's a long moment of silence the big like uh building i'm talking about in in just ask for where where the body is exposed because we don't we would be we would be worshiping it but what's where the body's exposed what's that mean yeah meaning the host is exposed so the same way for that the wafer is the host okay yeah that's the host just because that ai description looked like porn and then it was like a body exposed and i didn't know what was happening so if jesus is truly there then i would say just go and and and look you just sit quietly and sit quietly yeah you can you can pray if you want to pray if you want to pray if you want to pray if you want to pray you can think you can i don't know think of your loved ones yeah go ahead can i say what it is for me i think like what i appreciate about the shroud is because um you like you're seriously saying you don't have to shake your brain at the door i appreciate that it's something where you can actually bring science into it i'm kind of like a man of science but you know i studied optometry you know eye doctor what kind of science uh well you know physics there's a lot of physics in this you know um but i went to you know a lot of catholics in physics that's a fact in fact do you know is that true isn't the big bang a catholic yeah george was a belgian priest yeah are you serious yeah you also the guy who something about molecules i would never knew that and i would not expect that that is wild and you know aquinas are a lot of our laws and things are based on like common law this on on the angelic doctor aquinas like there is we've had some of the great intellectuals some of the best intellectuals have been catholic and i don't think it's a coincidence i think it's because truth cannot contradict itself pope coincidence the third i believe was the guy who can i interrupt you here can i just say like uh i went to the only catholic optometry school in the country university of the incarnate word in san antonio you know it's its own like separate like satellite school but it's associated with the university of the incarnate word there's only one optometry school that's associated with a religious institution and it's university of the incarnate word in san antonio really yeah and by the way that was founded by nuns they have all these medical schools now where do we get hospitals from and by the way this is what i was getting at when we were talking about you're you're an author you're right you know i feel like this is what this is what we're getting at it's like it's the that means like uh god brought himself into the story right in the ultimate way right and he's i think that it is kind of because the word became flesh is that what that well i'll give an example when i always love making um anything i ever wrote for where they had to make props that like and you know a good writer is worried if you're pro you're like our budget can do this but i am not so i would just whatever i could imagine to put into a thing i would with no like zero thought that's how you do it that's why you love ai and um and so then when a prop would be made like the dumbest shit in the world uh i would be delighted because i had just thought of it and it like manifested so a team of talented people had to make my stupid yeah something i farted out like an idiot yeah and then it's hysterical in real life because it's so dumb yeah yeah it's me it's like that uh 3d printed shroud of that's cool that's a great but that's a manifesting that you know the people that invent this shit aren't are acutely aware of that that that is a form of that is the word made the word the logos yeah what do you think about what i can never pronounce his name telly rd chardon hmm do you know about him i don't know tell me can you guys pull up him you'll love him he was a jesuit he hates the jesuits why do you say that so didn't you say you hate jesuits so i thought you hated all i can say well i'm just i'm very honest about their no no no it's fine it's the left-hand path of the pope yeah my my saint is i'm sorry for some you didn't like the jesuits well i'm not pro-jesuit you made me scared of jesuits i wasn't scared of them till i talked to you well you're not a small boy so you should be fine yeah my patron saint is saint ignatius of loyola he's the one who founded the jesuits and i don't know all the whole history but i think it you know you will know them by their fruits it kind of speaks for itself something has changed uh and so they get a bad reputation and i don't know okay what so they're like i'm not against i'm not every other group let me tell you okay a serpent goes in the garden so you make yeah yeah so there's always someone who fucks shit up but even the initial group formation is kind of strange taliar de chardon tell me he predicted the internet before the internet happened and he and he talked about the singularity he was basically trying to uh make evolution harmonize with catholic doctrine he came up with this idea that we're being convected like a saint or inhaled into god he called it being convected and he said that we're moving towards the for him the apocalypse would be called the omega point which is a point of maximum harmony and maximum complexity and as we are being inhaled into the divine mind things start speeding up we he predicted he had a different name for it i think he called it the news sphere or something but he predicted this like super connection between every human on the planet fascinating person is really interesting every time you see mysticism pop up that's how you know it's a goddamn You got me. I've never heard of him. I'll have to do some research including pope benedict the 16th where's that pope francis wait what some eminent catholic figures including pope benedict the 16th and pope francis positive comments on his idea well look catholic means universal it's supposed to be a universal church is that what it means that's what it means universal so look um just not to how are you converting me to catholicism well christ said narrow and cramped is the way and few are the ones finding it so christianity will never be universal if it's the real thing i hear that christ said that it's not a curse he's just saying that's what it is the thing so they're all this mysticism and shit is a way it's like i've got to digest all these previous pagan beliefs and something and alchemize what's wrong with pagan what's wrong it's like paying retail when you can pay wholesale it's that stupid i mean that's how i look at it and i know people are gonna say i'm a jew and i'm in the cia but i have never been in the cia and i like why do you lie about being a jew you go to the same synagogue i don't go there because i'm a jew that's not why we go there we go there to study all right i thought you were a hardcore muslim now didn't you say that yes you let me just there's free will and religion as the prophet teaches us there's no compulsion in religion guys there is no compulsion carlos interrupt us i just want you all to know i don't i don't know if i believe the most jewish man i've ever met he is a jew we go to synagogue we go to synagogue together he's very he's circumcised that's a lot of people that's everybody in the room except these two very i don't know i i haven't seen but you can show us if you want say no no one needs to do that baptism is the way to you know because in the old testament that was how you became part of the covenant no that was a major thing in paul's letters to the uh people were saying do we need to get circumcised before we come christian back then everybody wore a short skirt and bathed together so the circumcision came up that was a revolutionary moment he's like maybe you shouldn't snip the tip of your fucking kid's dicks off do you ever go um with your outfit just pull the hood down and do a little circumcision you know what i don't like is like when i well that's that's european you ever go american style just pull that tip down what do you mean pull it off your head so you just it's like like oh you mean circumcise myself yeah oh yeah sure sometimes is it less sensitive what no but i feel more connected dude i like that that could be a sweatshirt it's the best the hot dog outfit is all over i might only wear this from now on on the night i was looking at it and i was like that's a night i don't want to say you mogged me at it but it's no it's not your fault man it's just a it's like a i got hot mogs it was and it was the last one at spirit costume so i got lucky i love it yeah spirit as well here you know if i had a vision of a hot dog that told me to do some stuff i'd probably do it i know you would trust me i know you forget a lot of stuff we do if i ever hit my head around you know that right you forget a lot of stuff we do yeah i do how do you know you forgot it that's the irony of carlos interrupt though he's the most interrupted of all i like your interruptions carlos on the circumcision thing i don't like that when you study anatomy textbooks a lot of time have you seen this like they're displayed as uh as circumcised like they're not displayed the original way that they're supposed to be well because it's like it's wearing uh i don't want to call it a shroud of turin but a shroud uh-huh can you guys pull up what the what they strap babies do to cut their tips of their dicks off is that there's a good you've probably seen american circumcision you've seen the documentary part one two and three look i've got a lot of gripes i don't need a new one about my foreskin the united states is the only country that does it non-religiously which is interesting it was so weird it has to do with kellogg is that right the serial yeah serial guy well i have a bit of silver wire around the board they strap babies to is called a circumstrength board okay we're gonna need one of those for the show because we're gonna do buster can you pull up look at this guys look at this oh careful not what's gonna cut no no no put me back no no no i'm sleeping we're looking for what's it called to go back what's going on well they call it a papoose board but it's called a circle can you pull up the images though wait what was the actual name it's gone it's called we're getting a circumstring guys i just want to go back to sleep i'm okay now i don't want to get circumcised okay no i don't know if we want to do with a bastard so i like my uncut hog now put me back i want to go back you see buster look what they put him in they put your baby in that they take the baby away from you you're gonna strap him down and cut his the tip of his dick solo how is this legal this happens this is well yeah wait we got to get one of them and there's a reason perfect for your size no it's not perfect leave me alone put me back you get to work right around there i'm too old to be circumcised anyway because you got a gross a gross turtleneck on your don't matter you don't need it we take that off why don't you guys talk about the dumb old trout again let me go back to bed look at that look at how it fits in perfectly it don't fit me perfectly we're gonna do a korean style as an adult you guys have been so harsh with me look at that shit what is that that's not from circumstance that's like a cross again what the okay what is that pull up the crucifix why is he being crucified as well what's going on oh my god what the is this what is happening i gotta get this for my kids it's sold out also look how expensive it's sold out wait what does it say out of stock wait what does it say it's for what do you it's out of stock it's 640 all of them boys where are we drawing the blood from though why would you wait what i had blood drawn as a child crucify me mystery boys have stumbled upon something so sinister this is what this makes we're gonna test this out on you no you're not you're gonna put me back in my drawer duncan i don't see why we can't just circumcise and draw blood from him no you can't on the same board number one we don't need to i just want to say i don't consent to this i just want to go back to sleep you don't consent there's a child you'll go to sleep i'm not a child i'm 73 you'll go to sleep with a breeze on your helmet you don't know me motherfucker i'm old i'm old now put me back now what is that shit where they what is that supposed to be what that's just to calm them down wait what that's for shipping why is it olympic that's for shipping is this for the olympics that's shipping what is happening no what have you found we have found look look there they are wrapping them up what the fuck is that it's horrible is what it is you go down there now i want to know all right we don't do this in my field that's what i'll say i can't feel my legs what what do you know what's interesting well this is for restraining kids but what else do you need to know dude what is i don't understand who buys these can you i've never seen one in my life will you guys do a google image search for this dominatrix i did a podcast with had one of these why saint andrews yeah pull up the image yeah see no but that's the adult that's the adult version i wouldn't call it blasphemy because it's not in the crucifix it's an x this is gonna be because saint andrew got crucified what did jesus get crucified on because they were like i mean joseph was big on it's not a cross it was probably like a tree or an x or a pole it was a but i don't know what he carried was called the patibulum it was just like the the beam it wasn't necessarily the whole t an anti-masturbation cross is that really what that is somebody's making that up that's because that makes more sense than what it was for right that's the that's the crosses from the dune by the way part three have you seen the trailer for that no no no part three was there a cross in dune dune part three yeah i haven't read the books part three uh just don't put dominatrix just cross oh i guess it came up oh wow look at this well i'll be damn this is coming up yeah wow this is what uh the wachowski brothers turned into sisters on wow look i've got to say you guys are super cool i think i'll convert to catholicism not because of you guys no offense because of kurt okay you're like you've testified you didn't even know it but you're a tool you know what you you're like a useful idiot for jesus and you don't even realize it mr brain you don't even know you exude the holy spirit for jesus is just fine i pray for that usefulity for the pope no all right we'll get you with what more magic relics and we're gonna get you i love how it's willing we uh we're not yeah we're on the team yeah we're on the same team now yeah um and who's this uh prince louis of somebody's not jesus who's this caucasoid that is a prince that's not the beautiful black man i know is the king um okay uh jesus said circumcise your heart by the way that's the cap to that conversation was that not literally but it's you said what circumcise your heart what does that mean that's going to be one thing jesus said take the covering off of your heart oh got it got it that makes it smell you can people can look y'all are on the same wavelength you know but yeah no no it's a it's a basically a permanent identifier of yourself it's it's internal right it's a it's so in your heart you're like i'm permanently different altered permanently i i would assume is what it means it's like but i'm just an interrupter your interruptions are great you're a converter now i like your interruptions i love you man They like disruptors. I like you. Let me tell you the next phase. Interruption. I like your interruptions. Tech interruptions. I want you to. I would now be sad if you stopped interrupting, Kurt. I didn't mean to shame you. You'd have to. It'd be like the end of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. You'd have to smother me with a pillow. It would be sad. Never stop interrupting, baby, please. Then jump out of the fucking window of the asylum. Never stop. In a hot dog outfit. She interrupts till the end of time. Do you get what I'm saying, though? How did you get a picture of my bedroom? There you go. There you go. And we. And by the way, we're going to dub you guys official mystery boys after this episode. Take the sword. You will knight us? Oh, with a sword? Yeah. I mean, the interrupticus is. Oh, yeah. Do the interrupticus. Okay. First, we have to cross swords. You don't remember. Not gay. Go over the shoulder. We now hereby, in the name of mystery itself. Magna Patru! Interrupted. That means the divine uncle. And thou art dubbed. That's from the Magnus Patrus. You are both now mystery boys. Welcome to the family. Thank you so much. Well, Mr. Eakins is what we want. And you have to tithe to us. Tithe. That's right. 10%. And we. It's actually 15. Oh, boy. It's gone up. We will do arbitration for any disputes, which were in burning. Yeah. On Friday the 13th. 100%. The same day as your boy Ignatius of Jock de Molay. And thanks for being on the show, you guys. Thank you so much. Bravo! Yeah, you don't take our word for anything. Go to your local library, crank one out, clear your head, go back and look it up on your phone. And if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me on my Facebook page. I'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.