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Speaker 3Screw Up Your Kids podcast. So, pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat and enjoy the conversation. This is episode 44 and today I want to talk about what might possibly feel like the elusive art of raising happy children. Everywhere we are reading about this, we find a lot of people who say, children and teenagers struggling with their mental health. Only I, this weekend, in the weekend papers, there was a huge like four, well probably actually a six page spread, talking to children and teens that are really struggling with their mental health. And we seem to be bombarded with it everywhere. And yet there are a vast number of children growing up happy. What's the secret? Now before I start, I want to share details of an upcoming in-person workshop. I'm going to be running a workshop called, Running on the 25th of April. I am excited to announce my upcoming workshop with the incredible Lucinda Miller, font of all knowledge when it comes to nutrition and wellbeing. You might remember in episode nine of the podcast, we talked about the link between food and children's mental health. Now Lucinda and I have been running workshops together, gosh, since our daughters were really young, over a decade, gosh, even longer than that. So we thought it was time to run an in-person workshop. Now the workshop will take place on Monday, the 25th of April. It will run from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. at the Old Grain Store in Hampshire. The specific postcode we've shared within the link, if you want to go ahead and book. So we will be talking about how to build emotional, mental and physical resilience in our children, both through the food, which obviously Lucinda will do, and mindset, which is what I will be covering. So you will leave the workshop with a set of easy-to-implement strategies and clarity about your next steps. The workshop is £65 and includes a yummy organic lunch and light refreshments. So to book your spot, please go to the link in the show notes or email me directly and we'll send you the link at contact at drmaryhand.com. Spaces are limited, so make sure you book your spot early to avoid disruption. And why not book with a friend? That way you can help each other with accountability afterwards when it comes to actually implementing the strategies at home. So now back to the secrets of raising happy children. And I was thinking about this before I, you know, before I do a podcast episode, I always have a few little notes to kind of keep me on track because I do have a tendency to kind of go off at tangents. And I've made very few notes for this one. So you might find that I'm going to disappear off and ping in, all sorts of different directions. But actually, I was thinking about my own childhood, which I've spoken about in podcast episodes before, which you're very welcome to kind of listen to. It's a back episode. I can't remember the exact number. I had a very modest upbringing when we think about physical things and possessions and belongings. You know, I lost my father at 11, but I've got such happy memories. I remember my childhood is a very, feels like a very happy time. We never went on holiday. Couldn't afford it. We spent most of our summers sort of bumming around, knocking on people's doors, taking out other friends from the neighborhood, riding our bicycles, playing in fields. So nothing of any note, certainly in comparison to the guilt that we feel about raising our children and making sure that their lives are filled with all sorts of things. So I guess what I would say before we start moving in specifically in terms of the strategies is I would just ask you to take a bit of a step back and really connect, to the memories that you have as your child in your childhood. And what were the really important things that mattered? Because when we reflect back on our childhood, when we reflect back on those moments, and then when our children do, it will be the small moments and sometimes even the most volatile tantrumy moments that will bring them the most joy that they will reminisce about the most. So we need to, you know, I thought, I know it's really difficult as a parent because. We have so much guilt about so many things and add, you know, as mothers, literally, I'm sure that as we birth our children, they must literally give us a rubber stamp that just says guilt, sort of like burnt and emblazoned on our hearts. And we never seem to be able to kind of get over that. But I do think we need to place that context, which is why I talk so much about being part of communities and being open and honest and truthful with other parents about the parenting journey. Because I think when we can really do that, we can avoid acting from a place of guilt sometimes and doing too much. Whereas actually our children really revel and relish those small moments. So before I go into the strategies, I want to share with you. So my children, as you know, are older. My adult children are older. So as of now, my eldest is 22 and my youngest is 18. So they've got, you know, we often talk about their memories of their child. And the things that make them happy. But there is one incident, and my children generally actually were incredibly well behaved. I've been very, very fortunate. And I didn't, I don't recall very many tantrums. I'm sure there probably were. I mean, that kind of blinkered romantic, romanticising. But there was this one incident, which we will call the seatbelt incident of my daughter, who I'm sure if she catches this podcast, it will bring a smile to her face, because we talk about it all of the time. She very rarely lost her, lost it really. And this particular day, for absolutely no apparent reason, we still can't work out why, and she doesn't know why. She completely lost it. She was trying to sit, get into the car. She was of an age where she could put her own seatbelt on, and it was a booster seat. She couldn't get the clip in or whatever it was that caused it. As I say, we don't know now. She had the most monumental hissy fit. I've never seen anything like it. Never, ever in my life. Her brother and I, she just had this complete and utter meltdown. And we said nothing. We just sort of quietly waited. And then obviously, and then she burst into absolute laughter about it. She could not work out why she had had this complete tantrum, this complete meltdown, these complete tears. And then she then just flipped from that to then laughter, because she couldn't work out why she was having a complete and utter meltdown. And actually, that could have been so incredibly stressful. And I do, recall, we were meant to be going somewhere. I'm sure it was on the way to school. So it could have ended up as being this huge hoo-ha, basically. We could have all ended up in school, dropping, school drop off in tears. And yet it is one of the overarching memories of all of the memories, you know, the trips to Legoland, the holidays abroad, the things that she was bought. That is one of the most endearing memories she has about her childhood, as something that she remembers as happy. So I'm sharing that in lots of ways so that we can get a better context around happiness and what ultimately our children will reminisce about later in terms of their happy memories. And I've got lots of memories, not necessarily of tantrums with car seats when I was younger, when I was a child, but of that sort of similar ilk, the things that weren't massively contrived, the things that weren't massively expensive, the things that didn't require huge amounts of organisation, but were those moments where we were all fully present, where we can all remember and that we all laugh about today. With often, and certainly in terms of my childhood, very much around board games and hilarities. So anyway, I'm going to stop rambling and I'm going to move on. So sometimes it's hard to get the balance right between what makes our children happy and what's actually in their best interest. Certainly when we're thinking about how do we raise happy children. Now this isn't about always taking the line to happiness, to always making decisions on what will make my child happy. But I do think happiness and what's right for our children are not mutually exclusive. You absolutely, most definitely can raise a happy child by always doing what's in their best interests and them being happy. So I have got, I've sort of whittled it down, goodness me, the list could have been endless, but I've whittled it down to what I think are the top Six. things so number one and you drum roll you have probably guessed it it has to start with you so number one is you have to work on your own happiness always i can't emphasize this enough your child can only ever be as happy as you are and no more i want a bit of spend a bit of time on this one let me just talk to you about this one we cannot pour all our energy all our love all our happiness into our children at the exclusion of ourselves might work for a little bit might work when they're tiny babies might work when they're toddlers might work in the early stages of school but our children as i say so many times are a product of us not only in terms of our birthing them in terms of the genetics that they get from us but they are a product of what they see us do each and every day if we self-sacrifice if we pour everything into everybody else at the depletion of who we are at the exclusion of who we are as individuals we will come unstuck and our child will not be any happier than we are so we must always work on our happiness and this is about shifting our mindset away from this notion that by taking care of ourselves we are not taking care of others the whole self-care is child care prioritizing ourselves our oxygen mask on before we put on others we can't pour for an empty cup you name the cliche i can see you wincing and pulling that face don't because genuinely and most truthfully if you do not work on your happiness you cannot raise happy children you have to work on yours and there are i get it there are times where we can't necessarily devote the time where we're being pulled in multiple directions where financially maybe we cannot afford to give ourselves that space and that break and that opportunity to go and do things however we can create and work on our happiness by taking periods of time out each and every day so i won't i know i'm preaching to the converted and for those of you who are rolling your eyes roll them the other way because it's so important that we do this but our self-care and our nurturing of our happiness will ultimately help our children because it's very true our children cannot be any happier than we are long term they can have moments of joy they can have moments of happiness but ultimately it has to start with us so i've set that one aside you can all wipe your brow keep a huge sigh of relief i'm now going to work on the things that you can do for your children but let's not forget that number one because quite honestly if you work on strategies two three four five and six but you don't work on one there will always be a limit to how happy your child will ever be so okay i'm gonna stop i promise i'm we're moving on so number two is encourage your children to build relationships the importance of relationships are so key to our overall happiness as human beings we are social beings by nature we get our joy and our happiness from that community that we create now don't get me wrong there are some children who don't want to have hordes of friends they don't need 20 30 10 friends that are always around them but they do need to understand and they we need to help them build lasting quality nurturing and sustainable relationships so i'm going to stop i'm going to stop i'm going to stop nurturing joy filling relationships and those relationships can be with friends so their peers those relationships can be with their family so obviously your family and their siblings but also their extended family aunts uncles grandparents cousins neighbors so it's really helping and encouraging them to build those relationships and to understand what makes a good quality relationship and a good quality relationship is one that is a what we call it's this notion of it being reciprocal i give to you and i know that in that i get something in return when we look at sort of early psychological theories when we talk about babies and attachment we talk about this notion of an attachment being a reciprocal relationship it's knowing that somebody is going to be there for you when you need them and it's not this notion of i'm going to invest in you because i know by investing in you i'm going to get something back but it's that nurtured connection and knowing that that person is always going to be available for you and to you in terms of helping you from that emotional perspective and it's a really important aspect because the blueprints but in essence the relationships that we form as children form this blueprint of all future relationships if we encourage our children to build relationships and connections and understand the purpose of those then we help them create a blueprint for all their future relationships as they grow older and they connect with others maybe professionally but also personally and then moving on to their romantic relationships so it's really important that they understand what are the key attributes what are the key qualities what are the important things to nurture in a good quality relationship that is there for you now it might be there for you in the long term or it might be there for you for a short period of time relationship we have different relationships with different people and they serve different purposes but it's important that we help and encourage our children to build those relationships and to also understand that those relationships have those purposes so they may not always be there for the long term but they can still celebrate the relationships that they've had and if you think back at the relationships that you have the people that you turn to your tribe they will all be different people for different purposes you'll have some friendships i'm sure as i have from your childhood you know i still have you know six of my really great friends from year seven from my first year at secondary school some 42 years later they are people that i connect with regularly that are there for me those are my longer standing relationships some of you listening to this will have friends from primary school you know from maybe even that you were i don't know maybe your parents were pregnant together and you're still friends with them now but it's really important that we encourage our children to build those relationships and also to learn how to manage difficulties in those relationships so that they can then nurture those because that's part of that happiness it's part of that community it's part about being around others that help sort of feed and nurture us so the first one is that we need to work on our own happiness and never lose sight of that the second is about encouraging our children to build and nurture their own relationships the third one the third tip the third secret to raising happy children is about promoting optimism as a state of mind that sounds like a really kind of complicated one it isn't but i do want to talk about this notion about that i often come across and if i'm supporting families in terms of building confidence and resilience and reducing anxiety and stress quite often we find ourselves getting sucked into this notion of positive and negative and i guess that's probably true in some ways you know we've got positive thinking which is all about opportunity and we've got negative thinking which takes us down those sort of negative spirals of things are not going to work out and always assuming that things are going to work out and we're not going to be able to sort of i don't know go down that rabbit hole of the worst case scenario and whilst in some ways it can be a useful distinction i also think it can take our children down this sort of narrative that there are good and bad emotions and we'll talk about emotions um as my strategy number four when i talk about promoting optimism as a state of mind it's much it's not about necessarily encouraging our children to think positively and making sure that they're not going to be in this distinction that positive thinking is good thinking and negative thinking is bad it's much more about optimism as a state of mind in terms of that the world is inherently a good place that people are inherently trying to do the good the right things and making the best choices that generally we are looking at a horizon of opportunity we're looking forward rather than always reflecting backwards on things which haven't worked out it starts as you would imagine with us so it's how we it's the language that we use in terms of how we promote that optimism as a state of mind so it's acknowledging our children when they might say something that is negative when they might reflect on something and assume that things aren't going to go according to plan and you know i get that you know i understand that for you for example your year two sats feel really scary and you're worried that you're going to do really badly so we're acknowledging that state and yet what might happen if you know what if it all goes well what if it goes according to plan what if you are so pleased with how well you've done So it's that shifting, that acknowledgement of how they're feeling in that moment and where they might go automatically. Remember, we talk about these ants, these automatic negative thoughts that we might, particularly if we're feeling anxious or we're lacking in confidence in a particular area in our life. We might find ourselves going back to that automatic assumption that things aren't going to go to plan. So let's acknowledge that and let's use our language around what if. So instead of what if and all of the things that could possibly go wrong, what if it all goes according to plan? What if we get these incredible opportunities? What if the day is the most amazing day we can imagine and using that kind of language because our language creates our reality. If we think about that sort of confidence or anxiety or stress loop. What happens is we have a thought, that thought creates a feeling, that feeling then creates, feeds back into our thoughts and those thoughts then again feed, sort of loop back into our feelings. And when we're in that sort of happy, sort of life is incredible. The sun is shining. Everyone is smiling. We're having such a great day. It feeds into this because we feel great and because great things happen. We then think we get caught in this sort of. This spiral of thoughts that are all about opportunities, which then feeds that. So we then approach things in that open mindset in terms of our body language, the way that we smile, our head is held high, our shoulders are back. We think everything is wonderful. So we get this sort of positive upward spiral. Whereas when we, I don't know, we wake up and we're a bit tired and it feels a bit cold and then we stub our toe and we can't find the right breakfast thing to eat and we can't find stuff. And our clothes all aren't in the right place. We get into this sort of everything seems to be going wrong. So we then get into this downward spiral of just what's the point? Everything's just against me. I'm never going to be able to do anything. So it's being aware that we, that promoting optimism as a state of mind is all about the language that we use. The acknowledgement of maybe that where our child might be at in that moment, if they're feeling overwhelmed. And then also moving them into the language of, well, what? If the, you know, what if the best case scenario comes out? Imagine, take them down that route, ask them to imagine how that might feel. And then, so you're then doing that. And also it's making sure that we keep ourselves in check in terms of the language that we use, because I really, truly believe that our language creates our reality. So if we, if we're shifting that state of mind, it makes a really big difference. So number one is working on our own happiness. Always. Number two is encouraging our children to build and nurture relationships. Number three is about promoting optimism as a state of mind. Number four is teaching our children to connect to their emotions. And this all relates to this concept of emotional intelligence. We know, and there is sufficient and pretty robust data that shows emotionally intelligent children and adults have better quality friendships. And actually, if you're going to look at one single measure or one single factor that is the biggest factor that contributes to overall happiness, success, and also links into the financial metrics, those who are emotionally intelligent, it wins overall and it wins over and above IQ. So this notion of doing what's best for our children is that when we look at EQ, which is the emotional quotient. So when we talk about IQ, it's our intelligence quotient, really posh word for basically a measure of your general intelligence, your ability to problem solve, lateral thinking, decision making, all of those sorts of things. EQ, which is your ability to understand and then respond appropriately to yours and others' emotions. EQ predicts success far greater than IQ, because let's think about it in the world of work. Most jobs, most careers. Most career paths involve people. There are a very, very small number of career paths and jobs and professions that don't require that interaction with people to be successful. And in those cases, EQ doesn't matter, doesn't come into it. But probably for about 99% of the careers, 99% of those opportunities and jobs that come out, being able to adapt, respond. And react to others and their emotions is much more, you know, those are the careers that are out there. Those are the things that we need to do. And that's what helps build those relationships. That's what helps build those connections. And that's what helps us with our happiness is not only being able to connect to our own emotions, but being able to understand and respond appropriately to others. So this is all about building emotional literacy, talking about emotions at home, not being afraid to use them. Not being afraid to use words like, I can see that you're looking worried or that you're angry or that you're frustrated or that you're irritated or that you are jealous. Some of the emotions that I think sometimes we worry about using because we think, oh gosh, if I use the jealous word about their siblings, maybe I'm going to create jealousy. Or if I use the word anxiety or worry, maybe I'm planting a seed in my child and they're going to become anxious or they're going to worry because I've talked about it. Time and time again, when I'm working with children and teens and when I'm working with families, it's so often our children feel that their emotions are not heard, that we don't validate them. We don't say, I see you and I understand that that's how you're feeling. That doesn't mean that we're taking them down a rabbit hole of creating issues. We're simply saying, I get it. I get that that's how it makes you feel. Now, that doesn't mean we then sit and wallow in it. It doesn't mean that we get into this discriminating between. That's a good emotion and that's a bad emotion and you shouldn't feel that way. And that's positive and that's negative. It's simply acknowledging that all emotions are valid. We all experience at times jealousy. God, goodness me, I'm 52. Yeah, I'm still 52. I'm 53 soon. Hence why the kind of slight hesitation. I'm 52 and I still feel jealous at times. I feel envy. We all do their part of a normal human emotion. Now, obviously, it is not helpful if I sit and wallow in envy and jealousy and that drives this sort of unhealthy need in me. That's not healthy, but I can experience that emotion. People can acknowledge that I'm experiencing that emotion in that time and then I can move on. So it's really important that we encourage our children to connect to their emotions and that it's OK that they can recognize those emotions, that they can label those emotions. And they know for them what they might need to do in that moment. So, again, go back to one of the podcast episodes that we've had previously about this. When one of the resources that we talked about, one of the activities we talked about specifically was this this notion of when I feel dot dot dot, I may dot dot dot, I need dot dot dot. And this is all about helping our children to recognize that when I feel sad, for example, I may cry. I need a hug or I need some downtime or I need to cuddle something. So it's about helping our children to understand the various different emotions, how it shows up for them. And obviously, emotions show up differently for different people. You know, different people respond to anger in different ways. It looks different in different people. Some people are outwardly angry and you can absolutely tell that they're angry and that their emotion is from the outside. Others internalize their anger and it shows up in different ways. What we're really trying to help our children do is to understand how it shows up for them and then what they might need to do. And obviously, as is always with all of my top tips, the tips that I'm giving you are targeted specifically. You know, I'm talking about it specifically for your children, but it's completely the same for you. You know, understanding and connecting to your own emotions, understanding how it shows up for you. Knowing what you need to do to take care of yourself and how you might need to adapt in a particular situation. So four so far have been we need to work on our own happiness always. The third is about promoting optimism as a state of mind. The fourth is about teaching them to connect to their emotions. The fifth one is about creating habits which feed happiness. Feed happiness, nurture happiness, whatever you might want to call that. But actually, it's about creating daily habits which feed and nurture their happiness. So there are things that we need to do in life. I get that. There are things that our children need to do in life, like go to school, do homework. But what I want you to do with the fifth one is find ways and create daily habits which you know feed and nurture your child. Play is one that I think should be on everybody's list. This should be a daily habit. I've talked about it before. We've had a preview. podcast episode about how play is a child's work. It's how our children work through things. So play should definitely be on there. But there are other things. What are the things that feed and nurture your child's happiness? And what are the things that drain, that suck the life out of their happiness? So for example, I might say that for our teenagers, being on social media for huge amounts of time sucks and drains happiness. It's a comparison-itis parasite, social media. And so I'm not suggesting, you all know my feelings about social media and why I've made the choice to come off social media personally and professionally, but I'm not making a judgment on others. But what I am saying is that we need to wise up as parents that that sucks happiness out from our children. And so if our children are spending time on social media, we need to counteract that. And so I'm not suggesting that we need to wise up as parents that that sucks that time because they're already in deficit. They're in the red. They're overdrawn in their happiness from social media. Yes, that might be how they connect with their friends. Yes, that might be how they communicate. But there is also an element of comparison that these social media sites create and sort of amplify. So we need to make sure that the habits that our children have that feed that happiness, counterbalance and take that deficit, that overdraft, that red back into green. So this is, for example, what we might do with our teens. So it's making sure it's the same with our children, our younger children who don't have access to social media. So it's how do we address that so that their account, their happiness account is always in the green, is always in credit, that they're doing that every single day. What are the habits that we know feed and nurture our child's happiness? And this is where sometimes we might feel that there's a slight unhappy and what's in their best interests, because quite often this is where you might battle with your children. A bounce on a trampoline might be a battle that you have with your child because they don't want to go outside. I've had a long day at school. It's cold. It's dark. I want to sit and watch some television. Why are you making me do this? But actually, once they're out and they're bouncing, it absolutely feeds into their happiness. It absolutely nurtures them. It may have that little bit of that disconnect. But it's really important when we're creating those habits. It doesn't become about us being dictatorial to our children, but it's actually having a conversation with them and sitting them down and saying, OK, what are the things that really make you happy? And if you could decide what you wanted to do for a whole day and mummy and daddy were not allowed to argue with it, what are the things that you would do? And ask probing questions around why. You may have a child that would say, actually, I just want to be on my Xbox all day. Or I would just sit on my iPad all day. Or I'd be on social media. Or I'd be vegging on the sofa with a duvet on me watching television. Now, whilst those might be ways that they decompress, those are not necessarily the things that make them happy. So it's really asking those questions. It's really probing around that and then creating these habits. Start small and build up. It's about this happening every single day. And keep very clear in your mind that it's about how can I make sure that my child's balance is always in the green? It's always in credit. What are the things that I might need to do to help them with that? And some days their balance might only just go in credit. Maybe it only goes into the green by one pence. Yep, that's OK. As long as we're constantly keeping it in the green. And some days they might be a thousand. They might have a thousand credits. But it's just making sure that we aim that we strive to have these habits that are regular daily habits that keep them in the green. So, so far, number one has been working on our own happiness. Always. Are you getting a bit annoyed that I keep bringing that in? It's just my subliminal messaging. So work on your habit, on your own happiness is number one. Number two is encourage them to build and nurture good relationships. Number four, it's teaching them to connect to their emotions. Number five is creating habits which feed, which nurture daily habits, which feed that happiness. And number six, as you'd probably expect, is connect regularly as a family. Whatever your family unit looks like, whether you're a single parent, whether you're co-parenting, whatever your relationship, whether you're co-parenting, whether you're living with your parents or your grandparents or whatever it might be, making sure that as a family unit that is working together, raising happy children, that you connect regularly as a family. So that will mean connecting regularly over mealtimes. Mealtimes are so important. Now, I know that doesn't always work. It can be that you've got children coming in at different times from different activities. You're in and out. Work patterns can be different. You can have parents that are working shifts or that it just is not possible to all sit down all of a sudden. So that's number four. Number five is making sure of the time during the week. But you can make it happen at the weekends or on days that, you know, if you've got a partner who's working shifts or various different, less than typical Monday to Friday hours, that you are able to find some pattern somewhere that allows you to eat regularly together. And also, this is about having the regular Sunday planning meetings. Now, you've the Sunday family meetings, but they're just simply an informal opportunity to reconnect as a family, whether you do that over a meal that you have on a Sunday, whether you have a Sunday roast or you don't. But just that mealtime of just, just let's check in on each other. How are we doing? How's your week been? What worked last week? What didn't work? What's coming up next week that might be particularly challenging? What might we need to do as a family to help with that? So it's really having those conversations and particularly, you know, having those conversations with your family when we have school holidays. So we're going to be pulled in multiple directions. We're working, we're doing this, we're doing that. So it makes complete sense to be having those conversations and to be checking in. How are those habits of happiness working? Are we being able to implement them each day? Are we constantly battling over something every single week? Let's have a problem solve a way of making that different or responding to that situation different or changing things. Let's have a problem solve a way of making that different or changing things around. It's so important to connect and to communicate regularly as a family. Because what you're also teaching them is about conflict resolution. You know, when we talk so many times, I'm asked questions about friendships and children who are having difficulties with friendships at school. Well, at home, you get to manage and you get help them to practice conflict resolution. You know, mommy, I get really upset when you do X, Y or Z. Daddy, it's not fair when this happens. Helping them use conflict resolution. Use their voice to manage conflict, to problem solve, to negotiate, to compromise. These are all skills they can learn at home and then generalize and use at school. So connecting and communicating regularly as a family is all really helpful too. So just a quick recap on the six. Number one is work on your own happiness, always. Number two is encourage them to build and nurture relationships. Number three is promote optimism as a state of mind. Number four is to teach our children to connect to their emotions and not see them as a bad thing. Number five is about creating habits which feed happiness. And number six is about connecting regularly as a family. Now my give this week is going to be a checklist with these six strategies and space to reflect underneath so they can serve as a reminder, but also as a tool to practically use. As usual, head over to my free resource library, drmaryhand.com forward slash library, where you'll find the link to download this resource and all the other resources across all my other podcast episodes. All you need to do is pop in your email address and then you'll get instant access. Remember, if you would like to come to the workshop that I'm running, this is an in person workshop in Hampshire with Lucinda. So it's all about children's mental health and building resilience emotional, mental and physical and we'll be doing talking about that through food and mindset. Then do head over to the link which will be in the show notes or contact us directly on contact at drmaryhand.com and we will send you the link to register. It is 65 pounds and it does include a yummy organic lunch and light refreshments. As ever, if you have enjoyed this episode, I would be so grateful if you could leave a very short review because that's how people find us. That's how people connect with us. And this podcast has blown my mind in terms of how far it has reached across the world. You know, I'm sat here in my office in Hampshire with my headphones on and my glass of water in my little blow with my little candle recording this podcast episode. And yet there are people listening to this podcast in Russia, in Kenya, in Singapore, in the United Arab Emirates. And I'm sitting here in my office in Hampshire with my headphones on and my glass of water in my little blow with my little candle recording this podcast episode. blows my mind and they do that because of the reviews that you kindly leave about how it's impacted your family how useful you find it and that's how others get to find out about us so if you have enjoyed this episode and others and haven't yet done it I would love it if you could follow and review the podcast so that others can find us and we can spread the love so until next time you
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