The Sebastian Maniscalco SiriusXM Drama | 2 Bears, 1 Cave | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

- Hundred percent. (upbeat music) - Ate for beauty, huh? - Ate for beauty. - Ate before beauty? - Yeah. - Is that your new motto? - Oh, I guess I'll go. (laughs) Hey guys, Brand new episode of Two Bears, One Cave. Tom Segura is wrapping up his movie in Atlanta, Golf Trip, and then he will be heading out on his preposterous world tour. - Thanks, bud. - My name is, my name is Bert Kreischer. You can get tickets@tom Segura.com. And then my name is Bert Kreischer. I am in Philly at the Met on my permission to party world tour. Wow, you really had to stretch to find photos where I looked bad, didn't you? Like, I just used your head shot. I just used your fucking head shot. - But Google your name, we were like, wow, these are all stunners. Is there anything we could do to find a bad photo? - So let's just recap. Last week, I pointed out to Tom. That he looks older, then he feels like it's so interesting. I actually pulled up a picture of Gandhi. You look too old to play Gandhi. And that's crazy. - And you kinda look like him now. - Yeah. And we'll picture Gandhi any so that we can see a picture of what Tom, we just a spray tan, and Ben Kingsley, look, there's Tom. Doesn't that kinda look like Tom? - Very similar. But I have too much hair right now. - You do. - Yeah, I'd have to take it down. - Yeah, yeah. And then for you, it was crazy, as we Googled you, and all these images from my 600 pound life came up, and then we had to kinda dig through them to find which one was you and which one was them. But thankfully, there's that TLC logo to make the difference. It was pretty cool. Yeah. - I mean, I just wanna say I got a ton more comments and a ton more likes on my video. - The one that you mean, the one how you didn't actually accept my collab, that one? - I just accepted your collab, I posted it. - I completely posted it. - You didn't accept the collab? - I know, I think I might've just posted it. I'm not good with social media, I'm-- - Right, so the one that you posted-- - I think I'm thinking of giving up on it. - Oh, okay. You're giving up on social media? - It doesn't bring me any positivity. - That's for years now. - I know. Well, it did for a weird period of time, and then every now and then I'll get like a, like an autistic kid that's good with math and it'll cheer me up. I think it those feel good stories. I saw these like four little black kids in the hood and they were talking about how they're getting out of the hood and they had boxing gloves on. And like, those fire me up, I get excited. Anytime I see black guys racing horses, have you ever seen that? - Black guys racing horses? - Racing horses in Mississippi? - Do you mean like they're jockeys? - Yeah, and they do it like for money. Like the car racing, they do it off. Like, can you find this, you're black. You'll be able to find it in seconds. It's so good. It's black dudes racing horses in the deep south. In the deep south, in like Mississippi. - Okay. - And they're in cowboy boots and cowboy hats. And it's like a cookout, but they got thoroughbred horses and they're sprinting on them. And they're like, it's no not black jockeys. (laughing) - I mean, that's kind of what you described. It's not a weird search. - It's not a black jockey, it's black horse racing. Type in black horse racing. - Okay. - You'll find it. - Black horse racing. - This came up in your algorithm? - Yeah, type in, god damn it. - I mean, it's literally what you're saying. - I know, hood horse racing. It's in Mississippi. - Come on, baby. - It's definitely not him, it's you. - Just so you're cold. - No, it's not me. It's not me. If Kyle, can you find it and find me a link? It's a, I'll tell you about it, but it's so good. It's these guys that take their horses back into the, into like, into like, where you'd go muddin' or something like that. And they race their horses and they race four horses and they race for money. And it's fucking awesome. - Is there a bunch of spectators? - And there's, yeah, it's just like a barbecue. It looks like a cookout and they all go out there and they got money and they're like talking shit. It looks like I swear to god Tom, you would think it was, like they had, there you go, there you go, send this to me. Send that to any right now. I found it. It's so fucking good. So those times, like that's when the internet makes me smile. When I find something that I like. - Like hood horse racing. - Cuddle black hood horse racing. I follow a couple junkies that I kind of keep up with. - Do you ever examine why that makes you feel good? 'Cause you also like when, like, I don't really, the poverty-stricken people that are making cheap food for their spouse and it's like-- - She blocked me. - Huh? - She blocked me. - Yeah, but there's a bunch of those. - Yeah, I follow a bunch of them. - Why does that make you feel good? - I think it reminds me of Leanne's family. - Really? - Yeah, a little bit. Leanne's family makes recipes where you're just like, like they're like a stick of mayonnaise, stick of cream cheese, some belby cheese. You're gonna put these poppateo tamales in there. You get 'em right from Ralph's or you get 'em right from Costco. Shove a bunch of those in there and then get a cup of brown sugar. - And get a pixie stick. - So you think that is why you identify with it? - I guess, I don't know. I mean, it makes me happy. It kind of-- - That's my brain. - They're so depressing. Oh, I don't know, I don't find them depressing. And I like the junkies. There's this one junkie that he's clearly on meth, I think. - Then you're like, that's not depressing either? - No. I don't know why. I think I identify with his dream and big. - Dreaming big while on heroin. - It's meth, I'm pretty sure. - Meth, right, you're like, that makes me feel good. - Yeah, I found the-- - Okay. - So, I mean, maybe they're making me feel bad and I don't know about it, but yeah. So then the other day I was like, I gotta get off social media. This isn't not good for my brain. - Are you gonna watch that live stream of the Fort Hood shooter, the killing execution of 'em? - Wow. I just found out about this. - Yeah, well. - 10 minutes ago. - Do you think you're going to? - Well, let me real quick, let me run my take by you. - Okay. - Okay. - Yeah. - Yeah? - What are you thinking? - I wanna hear more about your, yeah. - I was thinking of doing it at like a Buffalo Wild Wings. - I don't think that's where they're doing it. - What are they gonna do it? - Probably at a prison. - No, they're gonna live stream it just to your phones. - Well, they're gonna live stream a firing squad. - It's a firing squad? - Yeah. I don't know enough about this. I just learned about it. Tell me about it. I don't even know about the Fort Hood killer. - Well, my recollection is that it was an army guy and I think he was Muslim, right? Yeah. - Oh, is this the major like 20 years ago? - No, not 20 years ago. It was several years ago now, but he went back to his base or former base and he killed a fortnight of this guy. - 13 people wounded 32 others. Damn. - Yeah, and I had forgotten about that guy until the Pentagon was like, we're gonna live stream it. That's fucking, I think that's fucking crazy. To the live stream it, but it's-- - That's wild. - Huh? That's wild. - Yeah, of course, it's fucking, it's fucking. - And are we not supposed to wanna watch it? - I don't know, I think it's probably pretty split amongst people who are excited by it and people who find it repulsive. Yeah, it's pretty down the middle. - And which one are you? - I don't think that's a good thing to-- - No, no, no, let's morals aside watching it. Are you-- - I'm not gonna see people die online. - I've seen people, yeah, but the thing is, for all the, I have a very specific thing that I like watching wild videos. I do like watching crazy accidents, but I don't like watching Gore. I don't like watching, I don't like watching knockout videos where a guy's head bounces off the conc, like the pavement. I don't like that, you know, I like a specific thing. And it's not that. That to me is like too much, it's off putting to me. But-- - I don't, I tell you, I'm gonna tell you this is a, once again, I should run like-- - I think it's a terrible guy. I wanna be clear, like I think it's a terrible guy. And for sure, I don't, I'm not opposed to his execution, but I think live streaming it is sort of indicative of where we're at and where we're headed with everything in the world right now. It feels like a weird choice to me. To be like log in. - Yeah. - But you're excited about it. - I'm not excited. I'll tell you what, I feel like, I gotta feel like I do remember this guy doing this, but it was 2009, so it's been some time. - Yeah, it's been a while. - So that's like if Rubin's stuttered when I'm on tour right now, you gotta go while you're still like in the merit. - It's gotta be. - If they killed him the week after, I think I might have been more into it. - Yeah. - I don't really have any emotional attachment to this guy. I think he's a piece of shit. - Yeah. - You bought it. - I'm certain it will come across my feet at some point. And there's no way that I don't accidentally see him get shot in firing squad. I mean, it's impossible. - You're right. - You've seen everything at this point. - You're totally right about that. - So why not just watch it when it happens and get it off over with? - I mean fair point, dude. Fair point, you're gonna end up seeing it. - It's very, you know, it's very primal. And I think it's, It's a very indicative of cancel culture and you know, cancel culture, culture permeates itself in so many different ways in society. If you simply don't agree with someone's politics, they go after you on every place they can. Cancel culture is in fact, identical to what happened in the reign of terror in France, where they just started beheading people. You know, shooting CEOs in the back is no different than cancel, is what they were doing back to Maria Antoinette, you know. And so I think it's a very primal feeling for Americans or for people to want to see negative things happen to other people to make themselves feel better about who they are. Yeah, and this is I think there's a little bit of, for sure, trying to galvanize people of like, this is what we do now. Like, you do some fucked up shit like this, we're gonna kill you and we're gonna show you. Which is how some people do public executions still to this day across the world. It's definitely how it used to be when you would execute in the town square, right? It was to like show everybody. There was some sort of perverse joy in seeing that but it was also a message, you know. It was like, this can happen if you do something bad. But yeah, it's pretty loaded, man. It's a loaded issue, I think, to have it be livestreamed. - It's strange. - I mean, I do, I'm now that you say this, I go, yeah, I've never watched a beheading video and those are out there. - Yeah. - I've never watched one of those 'cause I don't want it, I don't want it in my brain. - It's yeah, yeah. - And maybe I don't want this in my brain to know that I was part of society that celebrated an execution. I do, I don't mind the guy dying. I think he should die, but I don't know. But he's also, it's like one of those things, like if you're against, if you're against, if you're for me, then you should be able to hunt type things, you know, like-- - I get it. - Know who, how your food gets processed. So if you're for execution, God damn it, you should have to watch it, I guess. - I mean, I don't totally disagree with you, man. - That's a cry, I never thought you'd say that. - I know. I never thought I'd say any-- - Put on black horse racing and tear each other. - Yeah, this is such a bummer. - This is in Mississippi, I'm sure. - Let's see. (thunder rumbling) - That gets you going, right there. - Dude, and especially when they start fighting and one guy's got a handful of money, no shirt on with the cowboy hat and boots and jeans are sagging. And he's like, "Fo-show, fo-show, mo-vaga." - Is there a gather more of those? - Oh, that's either, I mean, you can follow this guy, I'm certain he's got a ton of them. - Or he just, oh, yeah. - These days, it seems like everyone is talking about AI and what you don't hear as often is how AI is changing the way businesses get work done. From the routine tasks being handed off to the questions being asked and the decisions being made, that's the idea behind NetSuite next. It's the next generation of NetSuite with AI woven into the tools your business already relies on. 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Prescription required price varies based on product and subscription plans, C website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Are you a horse guy? Bert? Me, yes. I'm a life horse. You like horses? I do. One of the coolest feeling in the world is the sprint on a horse. There's nothing like it. Have you ever run a full clip on a horse? I don't know if it was full clip. I mean, I've, you know, some place on a horse. I don't think full clip on a horse is the baddest thing you can ever do. It, you've never been more connected with an animal. More out of control, but in control at the exact same time. I'd say, I mean, I've talked about it on stage a bunch because if you've ever done it, you know exactly. There's a moment where the horse's neck and you are in this symbiotic motion. It's almost like great sex. And you're like, you're just like fucking hovering and holding on and then, and then you stop him and you can feel the whole horse like a citizen's ass down. And you're like, whoa, it's fucking incredible. It really is. Yeah. What was the last time you did that? It's been a while. When I was on TripFlip, it was the last time I rode horses. And we had to live with these horses. We were running Buffalo across Houston, like through Houston. And we had to live with our horse because you had to be able to take your horse and you had to spin him, move him sideways, back him up. So you had to really know how to ride your horse. So like, unlike my, we were there for five days and on my fourth or third day, they were like, you're really comfortable, you want to run him? And I was like, yeah. And me and this other person just took our horses and took off. And it was fucking, I mean, it was better than, it was better than booze. It was better than a buzz. It was so cool. I was one of the coolest things I've ever done. And I mean, surfing's pretty fucking incredible. I think to be moved by the earth is pretty insane. I can't imagine big wave surfing's gotta be like, that much better. I've only done like baby waves. But man, I've been pushed by the feet by dolphins. I've been, I've ridden on like mammals like in the ocean. You know, like in tanks and whatnot and in the open ocean. I've put man getting on a horse and especially having like full domain over that animal and knowing how to use it and get it going and slow it down. And then they read your energy. So yeah, I've been bucked off horse too. - On that show? - On that show, I got bucked off horse in Costa Rica. I got bit by a bath the night before and the horse could tell. And the horse was like, I don't want any part of this motherfucker. - That's got a suck, right? Getting bucked off. - It wasn't that big of a horse. I said, I know this sounds crazy, but it did feel like a smaller horse and it was terrifying. - Yeah. - It was terrifying. And I was wrapping my legs around him tighter 'cause I was scared and that was making him buck harder. And it was just a nightmare. And then I just got off the horse all together and I started drinking. - Sounds like a familiar story. - Dude, so yeah, I'm fucking drinking always solves everything. - That's a great way to, yeah, fuck yeah dude. You gotta lean into that more. - Dude, I tell you right now, I wish I could. I wish I used to drink the way I would run on a horse where it was careless and it was free. I didn't think twice about it. I wasn't worried about it. I didn't like calculate it or like go, that's enough. And now I feel like I just can't her when I drink. I just go, chacha, chacha, chacha, chacha, chacha, chacha. - So you're not, you're not doing it at all now or just really minimal. - No, very minimal, like very, very minimal. Which is good. I think I'm maintaining my weight. My health is still good. My blood pressure is still good. My heart resting heart rates in the 50s. Everything's still good. And I have a drink, like I'll have a porosus and soda on stage. And then I get back to the bus and I have water and I go to sleep, read a script, put my anti-aging mask on. - How's that working? - It's working. It's fucking incredible dude. Everyone's been like bumping into me like, whoa, you look like you have a filter on your face. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's crazy. - Yeah, I haven't seen anyone. - Just stay hydrated, Thomas. I think the best thing you can do at this moment. - Yeah. - Stay hydrated and I can get you some of these lasers that they really help. - I drink a lot of water, some good there. - What are we gonna do with this beer at the end of this filming? - Oh, I mean, I'm adopted as a new look. I like the chin strap look, pretty exciting. - You don't take enough chances with that facial hair? - I think I'll probably go back to my beard. - Yeah. - You think? - I think so. Why don't you do something different? - I can't. - We've seen that for years. Do something different. - I'm stuck with this forever, Tom. - Why? Wait, why won't you change? - Engine at all. - My double chin, my double chin's bad. - No, it's not. - It's bad. Either shots when I was watching edits of FreeBirt season two. - Yeah. - I can't, there's things I can't get past is like an aside shot of me. It just looks like a fucking tire. Like a fucking butt, the inside of a bike tire. Just right here. - So you'll always have the beard? - I'll get for the rest of my life. I'll die with this beard. I'll never, I'll never get rid of this beard. I will always have this beard. - Wow. - What a statement. - I know, I'm so, I would be so sad. If I shaved it, the look of my face would make me so depressed. (laughing) - I don't think so, man. - A hundred percent, my nose. When I, this, my head's fucking weird. Like my nose is too big, my teeth are too big. And then when I have this beard, it makes everything look like it fits my face right. And then when I shake this beard off, you're like, oh, you don't have a chin at all. Like there's no chin there. You're like, you're like a ski slope backwards. And then oh my God, that jaw goes right into your chest. That goes chin chest. - Would you do go T? - I would, I would, but I don't know if I could, I don't know how it would, I don't know. - Would you do just stash? - I would love to do just stash. - Dude, do it. - I would love to. - You can do it. What do you mean? You're the guy for that. - No, I'm not. - What are you talking about? - I gotta get, I gotta get, I gotta, I'd have to get to like 200 pounds or something. - What do you know? - 230, 225, right in between there. - Hmm, yeah. - So now we know a good, what good stakes are for like a bet. - No. - Yeah. - I will never make that bet. - What? There you go. You look good there. - Oh God. Where would you find that? (laughing) - Oh, that's so bad. - That looks cool. - That's the worst. That's the worst. So envelope lip. (laughing) That's the worst. That's what I'd look like. If I had alopecia. - Yeah. - That's exactly what you look like. - But you look happy. - You look happy. - You look happy. You look happy. - You look happy. - Wait a minute. How are you seeing it in FreeBert? - If you have a beard. Do you not have a beard? - I can see it. I can see it through my beard. - Oh. - I'm just like, I'm not a great. You know, I should stop talking so honestly about everything because I think people hear it and they go, maybe he is a bad actor. But like, I'm a bad editor because I just watch myself. I don't watch anyone, like when I watch a scene, I go to give notes. I just watch me. I don't watch the scene. So I'm not gonna give a note. And I just look at like, I look at my double chin or I look at my, like my one, I have one bottom tooth that kind of sticks out for, there's certain things where I just look at myself. I go, how the fuck can anyone watch this? To get the camera off me. So I'm not good at that. I don't love what I look like. Oh, but what's crazy is I liked, it was weird. Leaning into fat wasn't bad for me. Like I just was, I was like, yeah, I'm fat, fuck you. - Yeah. - And now that there's some vanity attached, I'm like, oh god. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucks. Like there's a shot in bad thoughts season two that I can't believe you let in the cut. And I think about it. I took pictures of it. - What is it? I don't wanna tell you. - You guys just tell me. - You guys got it. Do me a favor. Go to bad thoughts season two if you're watching. - Okay. - Okay. - Jesus. - And stream it. It's in the very first sketch. Stream it. Take a picture and tag me in it. And I'll let you know if you got it. And if you did get it, I'll repost it. Give you a follow. I'll comment on it. Just. - In the first one. In the season two. - Season two, first episode. - First episode. - The thing that opens the show. - I think it's, I think it's season. - Wait, no, season two is opens with the black dad. - No, the season two opens. I'm in the doctor's office with Kevin Neelan. - Yes, season two. - And then it turns into like a musical number and everything. - Yes, season two. So everyone go to season two. - And in that first sketch. - In that episode. - So in that sketch. - In that sketch. - Yeah. I saw it and I went, wow. I was really proud of you. I was like, that is, that is like, yeah, I was like, that I would never put that in. - Really? - It drove me nuts. It drove me nuts. I never said anything to you right until right now. I showed it to Leanne. - Well, she'd, she'd, no one noticed it. I noticed it. The second I watched it, I noticed it. I went, whoa. Can we talk about my, my, my, my, I didn't post it. - You didn't post it? - No, I never posted it. Leanne didn't let me. - Why? - Because she's, because she was like, don't get in the middle of that shit. That's not your brand. Your brand isn't. - Controversy. - Controversy. - It's not, it's not like to try to, I was, my whole point was to make it laugh. Make people laugh, which I thought it was funny. - Yeah. - For anyone who doesn't know this past week, there was a big hubba balloon on our comedy scene. And serious next time I made a transition from Raw Dog Radio to Sebastian Manescalco Radio. And in doing so, it, it terminated the income of about 500 comics, all of which it seems live in New York. It does, which was odd to me. There was no one else, it was all New York comics. - Was it? - And so. - It was, it was no one else but New York comics. And I talked to a few of them and I think they had an in-road to get their stuff played at Series XM 'cause it's based out of New York. So I think that's why there's so many in New York comics. But they did, what would be a targeted campaign? Is it probably the best way to say it? - Well, yeah. I mean, a bunch of people voiced, they were like, hey, the thing was weird was they targeted it to Sebastian. I noticed that some people said Sebastian bought this channel, which was insane. But then they were like, what, for people don't know, Raw Dog would just stream clips of stand-up. Like you get an album and there's 20 tracks. They would stream a whole mix of tracks of different standards. - It was a great way to discover new comics, in all honesty. - And they played all kinds of comics on it, right? Like everybody. - It was, it was awesome. You'd play it in your car, and it would just play, and I'd be like, who the fuck's Dwight Slade? - Yeah, and he's a brilliant comic, by the way. - He is. And there was like 800, I guess, comics in the rotation. But what Series XM did was make a programming decision, which they've done for a bunch of other channels that should be set. Like there's, you're like, oh, you know what, what was the oldie's station? It's now 70s rock. They've done it many times with different-- - And they've done it with celebrities. They're like, we got Johnny Knoxville radio now. - Yeah, Slim Shady has one forever. - Yeah, Slim Shady used to be a different channel too. - Shade 45. - Right, but it used to be something else. - Yeah, it used to be something else. - So they just did that again. They're like, this is a programming choice. We're changing, and now it's Sebastian's channel. And in doing so, they removed a lot of the comics they used to play on there, which I totally understand. They became used to those royalties, and they're like, those are gone. But, you know, it wasn't Sebastian's choice to do that. He didn't like say, we'll do that. That's them saying, we're making a change here into this. Anyway, a bunch of people made these videos. They're like, come on, dude. Don't do this. Like, why'd you buy this channel? You got to say something to serious, but he's really just hired to do it. He's hired to do a job. And the job is what it is, and their programming change is theirs. Like, they made that choice. He obviously heard from everybody, and he said he's working on something, which is cool. Like, he was like, I'm gonna do what I can. I don't know exactly what he's planning, but yeah, a lot of people were kind of like pointing their frustration to him, you know, which was like, I don't know. It was a little misguided. It's like, it's not his decision. Today's episode is in partnership with Manscapes, the men's grooming brand, trusted by over 14 million men worldwide. Big news, fellas. Manscapes has just dropped the all new Lawnmower Ultra Gen 6. This is the product that made Manscapes the global brand. It is today. I remember when I tried the first Lawnmower, and I thought, how can they make it? And he better ultra Gen 6. Honestly, they've made the goat of body tremors even better, and packed this thing with a bunch of upgrades that actually make a difference. 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So now, I mean this, but this is the truth, is if you're a fan of comedy, and you're looking for, say, Kim Congan, who's on tour with me right now, the last place you're probably going to look is Series XM, which affects their bottom line. The first place you're going to look is her Instagram, then her TikTok, then you're going to hit up YouTube, then you're going to follow her podcast, and then you're going to go, "Wow, I got a lot of Kim Congan, I don't need a bit with a bunch of people that aren't Kim Congan." So now, adversely, if you're Sebastian, and you don't have a lot of free streams for your material, which is quite wise as a businessman, he doesn't have a YouTube special, he doesn't have, he, him and Pete put out their podcast, but it's very sporadic, I just see clips, he doesn't put up stand-up clips, he's very kind of sparse on social media. Then, Series XM goes, "Wow, from a business perspective, he's one of the biggest comics in the world, I would like to have Sebastian fans come to Series XM." Yeah. And so that, I mean, we need to take a tablet of ownership as comics for creating the podcast format, and leaning so heavily into it, we all have podcasts. It's got to be a bottom line for Series XM where they're like, it doesn't, the bottom line doesn't need for us to pay $15 a play when people put out that exact same bit on any bit that they have. I mean, they put out on making the change because they obviously are like, we feel like we can do better with this new format. I mean, that's what they, that's what radio stations, whether they're terrestrial satellite, they just go, what's the best way to maximize our profit on this channel? And like after a while, they're like, it's not working, then they change it. That's like, that's not new, that's what they do. That's what they've done. It stinks. Number one, this is Sebastian. He needs to give more people his phone number. That's number one. That just shows you how many people don't have some passion's number. I texted him. I was taking a shit in the airport and I saw the first like chunk of them coming in. It was like Liz and Adrian and and and Sam Arell and and Dan Soder. I saw those four back to back to back in my feed and I texted Sebastian. I go, this is going to be such a great day. It was like, but you know, I think what's what's kind of crazy is like, I don't, I didn't, I didn't, I get, I'm very empathetic for anyone. And I think and this goes back to, this goes back to, you know, what's happening in this country a little bit is I think people look at Sebastian and they go, yeah, fuck the rich, you know, he's rich. What does he need this for? What is he doing? Why would he even do this to us? He's fucking the middle, the little guy is that's how the perspective it was. And my first thought, and you know, we never, me and you never really got, we weren't in the little different, different generation where we weren't, we always got fuck doing a special. We always got fucked with our albums. We always got fucked with all of that. We never got good money. I never got money from serious XM. But what we can identify with is when the clubs would lower our rate. And you were like, what the fuck? And but that's how these kids feel when they lose those income streams. Of course, because some of them are paying like their rent or their insurance or their like tuition or their meals for their like, they're paying that every month. And so they rely on it. So I totally understand the frustration. What I'm saying, though, too, is that blaming him, it's like, yeah, it's like your favorite TV show comes off and they replace it with the show and get mad at the guy that's hired to do the new show. It's not, that's like, it's not him. Anyway, I totally understand why the comics are frustrated. I think all those messages should go to serious XM and less to Sebastian himself. Yeah, it's funny. I was really moved by it. I don't whatever was wrong with me is I get very empathetic in situations and I feel like they're happening to me. Yeah. I don't know if it's soft narcissism or what. But like, I got really worried about Sebastian because I also understand how that trickles down. And I'm not to get like serious, but like, you know, when you make any video about someone and you kind of, you know, target them in a little bit of a way, it is a little bit juvenile to not think of the the shrapnel that happens around that and the lunatic that may see that video. And then it, it, all of a sudden, they send like a crazy email to Sebastian or they send. Yeah. So like, I get really, I got really sensitive to it. And I try and that's why Leanne told me not to post the video. But then the next day, I woke up and I was like, I can fix it, you know, how my brain works. And I was like, got online. And I was like, guys, my name is Bert Kreischer. And I'm a stand-up comedian, this message to all comedians. We're going to start a union. Yeah. And then I, everyone in the world hit me up and then Leanne called me yesterday. So he goes, I guess I'm starting a union. And I was like, yeah, baby, I'm sorry. I was like, can you start it for me? How are you doing that? Leanne's doing it. Leanne's going to, like, it's what's crazy is I got to say a lot of really fucking big comics reached out and told me they're in. And I mean, my phone blew up. I haven't read the comments, but you know, all the people that were in the, you know, serious XM kind of spoke, spoke's person area, Liz and, and well, is the only one really Matthew Bersard. They, uh, they hit me up. And they're like, we'd love to be a part of it. You know, Greg Fitzsimmons hit me up. Um, I won't say everyone's names because I don't, I don't, I don't know how that works, but a lot of very big comics DMed me or texted me. I woke up this morning and my phone was lit up. And they're like, how can we help? You know, it's so funny, Tom, because I was talking to two comics in the bus last night about it in, in finance and him, Condon, and they're crazy. This is how stupid comics are. Yeah. This is how we, we, not just, I'm not pointing fingers. We were like, what, what's something that a union could help with? And then they were like feature, feature rates. And I was like, guys, what about healthcare? And they're like, we can get healthcare. I was like, guys, that's what a union gets you like, yeah, healthcare. And then they were like, well, how can then I think both of them are like, why do we, how do we get into the union? Like what's the threshold for getting into the union? And I was like, guys, it's very simple. You have to have done Byron Allen's comics Unleashed. Yeah. If you've done about comics Unleashed, you deserve to be in that union. No, it's, but feature rates is a fucking legit thing. $700 hadn't changed. Or it's $100 a show. Right. Yeah. It hasn't changed 35 years. $50 for hosts. Yeah. It's crazy. Travel by out there exactly the same. That's so crazy. Haven't changed in 20 years. More than 20. Yeah. More than 20. In the same time? Yeah. I remember I brought it up one time on Twitter. And I was like so many people lashed out at me for bringing that up. They're like, don't tell people how to run a business. You know, why don't you fucking pay more? I'm like, I do pay more. I pay more. I'm saying that these and they're like, that's somebody else's bit. People were like actually really upset about it. Yeah. Well, I said to the, I said to the guys, I was like, you know, I wouldn't, here's the deal with, here's the deal with comedy in my opinion. And I could be off. you got it, there are people that will do it for less. You know, like that's the, it's a supply and demand type thing. Like in a weird way, like you, I would fight to get those host gigs and I would never complain 'cause I wanted those host gigs and then when I got into feature, I was like, I'm not gonna make a stink 'cause I want the feature job. Like this is great. Like this is a way into getting into a headliner and I got my first offer for a headliner. It was $1,500 a weekend and that was 2006 or 2007. And then the next year, I got my next offer and it was $1,300, so it was 2008 and the economy had just crashed. - Yeah. - And I was like, shit, do I take it? And there were guys that didn't take it, they walked away and they never, like I just continued working and literally worked my way up the chain whereas some guys took that ear and didn't take it and thought they'd do like B clubs, like hyenas and stuff. And then they never got back on track and some of them never, you know. So it's a weird thing, you gotta let, you gotta let, you gotta let the comedy clubs make money 'cause they've gotta stay alive. We can't just do a break even with comedy clubs. - Of course. - Comedy clubs have to make money 'cause then that's why they'll have the business for us to work at. So that's like, it's a slippery slope. That's why I'm not gonna be a union leader. - Yeah, but you're kind of in it now, so. - I'm not, I'm, God, I get so many spam risks. - You get what? - Spam calls, I get spam calls like 25 a day. - Why do you think so many? Probably 'cause you post your phone number online or something? - Never posted my phone number. - You have done that before. - I have posted my phone number. I've definitely posted my phone number. - Yeah. - I posted my phone number the other day. As a matter of fact, when everyone was going at Sebastian, I posted it in my stories. I was like, hey guys, just call him. This is number. - And you posted yours? - I posted my WhatsApp phone number. - Jesus, wasn't that your phone number? - Yeah, and then everyone was like, I mean, I love the fan that hits me up and he goes, "Do you think it'd be cool if I called?" And I was like, yeah, call him then. - Definitely call. - Fucking yeah. - Get after it, dude. - Jesus Christ. - You're insane. - You seem like Dica died? Is that real? - I thought he's been there. - I thought he's dead like 15 years. - Is that wrong? He's been really dead just I. - He had a series of strokes, I think, is what you were remembering. - I just heard a story about him. I just heard a story about him. Somebody told the story on set that they were filming a commercial for like his steakhouse. And we were talking about like when non-actors get hired to do, you know, basically an acting gig, which is like a commercial, yeah. So the director of this commercial was like, all right, this limo's gonna pull up. You get out of the limo, you look at your place and then you walk in, right? Like that's the first thing they wanna do. So they did it. Limo pulls up, Dica gets out. He looks up at his place and he walks in. Then he came out and the director was like, okay, on this one, when the limo pulls up, get out. I want you to get out and really take your place in. Like really look up, take it in, hang for a beat, then go into the place. And Dica was like, yeah, okay. And then he got into this limo and he just left. That was it. That's what he did. And they were like, he was just done after one. 'Cause I'd heard the same thing, not the same thing, but another Chicago guy that when Michael, you know Jordan used to do so many commercials. It was like a Haynes ad every three minutes. He would show up, they would be like holding the boom. Like you'd had to, it wasn't like, oh, he's gonna be here for 12 hours. He would show up, they'd be like, stand here and they're like, you have him for maybe an hour. Maybe an hour for a fucking $3 million commercial and he would just be like, that's it. So if you don't get him in like a couple shots, what you're looking for, that's what you got, you know? Which is very different obviously from how most of those are done. It's like, you're doing this for just all fucking day. Like not these guys, but Dica was just one and done. Another thing I remember about Dica was reading that in like, I guess it would be the fucking 60s, when he was, if he had a cold, he was like, yeah, I just need to run. Like if he would be like really sick, he would go run hills and he was like, yeah, that's how you beat a cold, you know? Like, he's a real barbarian. I mean, Dica was as tough as they get, but he would have the flu and go for like a run. That was just how he was wired, you know? It's a different fucking guy. I could listen to stories about Michael Jordan all day long. Same, same. I watch almost everything that pops up on my phone about him. - I am so fascinated by that individual. I was with, I've got to stop. I think celebrities won't want to be around me 'cause I always tell the story they tell me. - Mm-hmm. - But like, I was with a guy, I was never mind. I got to change the subject, so you're gonna be able to figure out who it is. - Why? - But like, 'cause I'm obsessed with Michael Jordan golfing. I'm obsessed with him golfing. - Yeah. - And I want to play golf for them, but I want to be around him. But I just kind of want to talk to him. I just want to be around him and watch. And they're like, he doesn't play golf on television. He doesn't let it get filmed. He loves to gamble. He loves to drink and smoke cigars. And he's got a great golf game. And they're like, the best golf game out there is Steph Curry. - He's very good. But man, I look at that Michael Jordan racing Tiger Woods. - Look at that strike. - Are they both running on a golf course? - That's fucking crazy. - Is it? - Oh, that's not my time. - I was searching for a story. - Oh, sure, sure, Joe. - That looks like a fucking line about to tackle a gazelle though, dude. - Look at that leg. - I wish Michael Jordan would get obsessed with me so that we could just share it. - That's not gonna happen. - Yeah. - Did I ever tell you my favorite Michael Jordan story? - Which one? - About when he lost his championship rings? - No. - I'm gonna paraphrase. And by the way, I'd love to get this writer Wright Thompson is the guy who wrote, he wrote a great book. I got it from your boy, The Daily Stoic. - Oh yeah. - Holiday, Ryan Holiday. - Ryan Holiday, Ryan Holiday gave it to me. It's one of the few books I've read that I really enjoyed. Let me paraphrase that. It's one of the few books I've read. Any book I read, I think I end up enjoying. So I'm like, well, shut up. So Michael Jordan is moving. He's doing an art in an interview with Wright Thompson. Wright Thompson's like the baddest motherfucker. I love this guy. He did a whole book on Papi Van Winkle. Anyway, he's a sports writer. And Michael Jordan is moving from Chicago to Miami with his new wife. - This is a book about Michael Jordan? - No, it's an article about Michael Jordan. - Oh, okay, okay. And Michael Jordan is-- - But it's in the book. - It's in the book. It's so good. And by the way, I'm paraphrasing, you know, and I remember a story the way I remember it. - Yeah. - So Michael Jordan's talking and he's like, you know, I, things happen to me so quickly in life from my 20s and 30s that I didn't really get a time to slow down and appreciate a lot of it. And I just kind of like, it happened. I didn't really pay attention to like, what do you mean? He was like, like, I lost like two of my championship rings. And they're like, for real? And he was like, yeah, like, I can't find him. I don't know where they are. Like, I guess they might have been stolen. He goes in my, in my will, I put, that if you find these championship rings, I want them bought back for my kids. I want my kids to have them. But he goes, I guess they were stolen or I don't know, man. I can't find them. And he goes, and that's like two of the things I really wish I had as they're moving. So they're like, really? So as he's moving, he finds a safe he didn't know he had. Which is indicative of this time of his life where he's like, come in, it happens so quick. And he goes to do his, his fucking safe code apparently. I think, I think they say this is his number, you know? With 32, 32, 32, 32, 23, 23, 23, 23, 23, 23. And he does his safe code. And he, he finds two of his championship rings and three gold medals. He was like, I didn't even know I lost those. And what I loved about this time and I think, I think you probably can identify them with this now. But I, it's not about anything. I don't have championships and I think I got to appreciate it and career wise, it's that raising the girls. Like it happens so quickly. Yeah, it happens so quickly that there were so many times that I didn't really cherish it. The way Michael Jordan kind of looked at championships and gold medals and was like, yeah, this just is going to happen. This is what life is. And you kind of think like, man, I miss, I miss, I miss, taking them to school and I miss them getting done school and running up and giving me a hug. And I miss them giving me their backpack and I miss walking home with them and hearing about their day. And I miss riding bikes with them and them singing Katy Perry songs. And I miss them introducing me to Taylor Swift. Like all these things happen in much like a gold medal for Michael Jordan, those are my gold medals and I don't know if I appreciated it enough when it fucking happened. Like, when they introduced me to Taylor Swift, instead of realizing, I didn't know it was gonna be Taylor Swift that we know today. Like, I just was like, oh, this is great. And they're like, dad, dad, you're gonna love this. Dad, this is your music. And I was like, okay, but now I remember it. And I'm like, God, man, I wish I could go back to that gold medal. Like, and you're in the fucking throes of it. And I'm like, jealous, 'cause you're winning championships right now with your kids. - Yeah, it's the best, but you're right. I think no matter what, you still feel like that thing's gone. Like, right now, with their ages, I think about that toddler stage and kindergarten first grade and the same feeling of, damn, that shit's gone already. So now it's this phase. And you still already miss that. You miss that and you think about it wasn't, I was gone so much, it was, yeah, it's the same thing. - Yeah, it's funny. I think that, you know, it's like, I was watching, Shaq with his kids and my kids are always around him. Like, he's always, like, he's still like number one dad. And my kids, my kids love me, but they do, they're, I'm not Shaq, I can't just fly them in to go to an event. Like, you know, like, like, you know, they have lives. Like, Georgia is starting her real adult life and I list in college and I go, I look at it and I go, man, I was with Shaq a couple of months ago or so and with all his kids. And he's like the ultimate fucking dad. And at my, and I keep thinking to this Michael Jordan thing, I was like, he's still winning championships. Like, he's still like fucking, and his kids are like, the sweetest, just like the, they're like, the best fucking adults. Like, and they're young adults too. But yeah, yeah. I don't know, man, I, I'm obsessed with, I'm obsessed with all of those guys. I don't know what's like, like, name your top five athletes. You could listen to stories about all day long. I mean, Jordan's definitely number one. It's time for me to join this number one. I've watched, I feel like I've watched 800 different Jordan stories from the best story, like some of the best stories are, yeah, golfing, hanging out with him. Like when people tell stories where we were there and he bet somebody this or like, he challenged someone to that. There's a, there's what was the fucking, oh, there was that chameleonaire story. Have you seen that one? - No. - Where like, you know chameleonaire, the rapper? - Yeah, yeah. So they're at some, some event and, you know, he always got like Charles Oakley with him. Derek Jeter, he's very close with a couple other guys and chameleonaire came up and knew one of the guys. And so, but somebody else was like, hey, hey, hey, back off and somebody turned back to Mike and was like, hey, this is chameleonaire. And he was like, hey, man, I got this like Jersey. Do you, will you sign it? And that Jordan was like, you got 25 grand. And somebody was like, no, no, it's cool. He's chameleonaire is cool. He's like, I'm gonna give a fuck. Do you have $25,000? And the guy was like, no, he's like, dying signed to shit. And you're like, holy shit. Like that's fucking crazy. That he, he can, he's the only person that would talk to somebody like that, you know? Like there's no one that would talk to somebody like that. I think at that level, the J.R. writer, Kevin Garnett one is one of my, there's a million that are also like that. You have to watch. Garnett tells it's so amazing. I can't do it justice. But basically Garnett's a rookie. J.R. writer is guarding him, guarding Jordan. And it's like going into the fourth quarter and then Jordan's having like a so, so game. And so at a time out, they're walking to their respective benches. And Garnett starts to like pop off. Like yeah, he's, he and all that. He ain't shit. You're shutting them down. And he said J.R. writer was like, shut the fuck up. Shut up, dude. He's like, you don't know what you're doing. Shut up. (laughs) And that Jordan stood there, just with his hands on his hips. Like he used to just kind of stone face. And he was like, dude, you never do that. You don't do that. And then he went, like J.R. was like, hey man, he's a rookie. I know, sorry about that. Kevin's like, what are you guys doing? He's like, you don't do that to him. And the fourth quarter, he dropped like, I don't know, 22 or something and ended up winning the game. And they were like, that's why you don't do this. So he's like that. He's like, Garnett talks shit to everybody. He's like, I never said shit to him again. Like I learned. And there's so many of those stories if you're on YouTube and you just, there's like hundreds of them where they're just like. I love those podcasts like all the shows. Oh my God. Yeah. I love when they tell stories. Have you ever heard of this story about SuperCrip? I know who that is, but what story? Is it SuperCrip? Any, do you know the one I'm talking about? Of course. They fall asleep. Yeah. Wow, he's out. He's out. They were, they were, I forget, I forget the guy who was telling the story. I mean, he's a pro. He's like, he's like, he went pro and he's like an all star. Everyone, they all knew him. And then you played against SuperCrip and he was like, yeah, I didn't know he was SuperCrip. And they're like, what? And he was like, we were just playing and I was going hard in the pain on him. I was just found him and then the coach comes up and he's like, man, you're not scared of SuperCrip at all. And he was like, who am I guarding? (laughing) He was like, SuperCrip. And then I got on this like, SuperCrip. Like, where is he now? And it's like, it's like, I love. I dude, athlete podcasts are the best thing to happen to podcasts. Fucking awesome. The locker room banter. The one, who's the one that I just saw this one? It was like Josh Allen. And another guy we're talking about this guy that was the ultimate athlete in Texas who now just is like, fishes. He never went pro, he never did anything. Those are the best stories. Trent something. Don't know 'em, don't know 'em. Dude. But it's great. I love the MJ stories. I think it's because it feels like lore and it feels like fantasy, but you have all these people confirming it. They're like, no, this is real. And these are other fucking pros talking about it. And there's nothing like it. There's nothing like. He's like the closest we have to a Superhuman. Who do we, who do our Superhumans in sports right now? We've got, I mean, not right now, but Kelly Slater was always surfing. Oh, yeah. Kelly Slater was surfing. He defined surfing for, he turned surfing into what it is today. And I just say that casually as a fan of surfing and I know there's some incredible, you know, Tom Carroll, Tom Kern. Everybody gives it up to Kelly Slater, dude. Everybody. Yeah. But people were talking like that, by the way. You know, up until his retirement about Aaron Donald and how dominant he would, I mean, I've never heard, or rarely heard, people talk about interior defensive linemen like Aaron Donald, like how dominant and how they, they doubled them and tripled them about 90% of plays and they're like, we still couldn't stop him with two fucking professional NFL offensive linemen. It was crazy. People talked about Lawrence Taylor like that. People talked about Bo Jackson like that. Yeah. Lawrence Taylor interviewed him one time. You did? For a TV show. He was wild. He showed up in slides, no socks and wild feet. Yeah, they all have banged up feet, dude. Banged up feet. Yeah. He was great. I think at the time, he was smoking like 100 cigars a day. Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing like that. LT was the shit. It stinks that like Kyle's a huge football fan. We're going to London to go see the Jags. Yeah. In a couple weeks. And I'm really excited. But he's a huge football fan. But I'd be shocked if he knew who Walter Peyton is. Do you know that is Kyle? Yeah. What? Yeah. Do you know who he is? You ever seen him play? Do you know what his nickname was? Tom, do you know Walter Peyton's nickname? Sweetness. Easy. Yeah. Easy. Why could you hear anything he said though? Like Walter Peyton, the guy they named the award after? Well, yeah. But like watching Walter Peyton, those highlights, we're fucking. To me though, if you're talking about something that we've never, like, we've seen other people run with the ball well since Walter Peyton, but we've never seen anything even close to Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders was the shit. There's nothing that comes close to it. I'll tell you as a box fan, there's two things I remember. I distinctly remember a bunch. I remember a bunch. I remember watching the refrigerator Perry run in for a touch now. As a kid, my dad says, buddy, stand up, you're going to want to see this. And I said, what? And he goes, they're giving it to the big guy. They call him the fridge. He's like 600 pounds. Watch this. And he went through that line. I remember that. And I remember watching Barry Sanders because he was. The Lions we played the Lions we that was our division growing up and he was I mean just and he was tiny Compared to them. I would I'll go into Barry Sanders highlights for sure all day. Yeah, yeah, they're incredible I mean there's still they don't make any sense at all Talk like nine guys will touch him and they can't bring him. It's fucking so stupid. I saw Walter Peyton play I saw Jim McMahon play. I saw Fram Tarkenton was like I was like I thought he was I saw him throw a pass from his ass to the end zone in the rain And I was like what? Williams was my hero prime time. I mean it. We're about to be on primed on Incredible God he was so electric. The fucking greatest. I Loved it will love Abby. I would watch any game. He was in I would watch just to see what might happen. Yeah, he was like that the best to Who is that man who's like that? What's that who's like that so I was gonna say I mean Tom Brady was pretty great Oh, we got to see it a real dynasty Tom Brady When you when it was a two-minute drill He was something I was like they might do this and they did it a lot better yet who's better at the two-minute drill in your opinion John L. Way or Tom Brady? who I mean ultimately I think Brady has it up on him even though L. Way was incredible L. Way had the crazier arm But but as far as running that two-minute drill, I think it's it goes to Brady, dude. Do you remember? And now we're What four years difference five years difference, but do you remember? You're in Sundays and Sundays seven Delway, you're talking about go ahead five years different seven go ahead I keep looking at you and I get confused. Yeah, yeah John L. Way would run those two-minute drills on a Sunday when my mom was making dinner because those were later Games because they were in Denver. Yeah, and so they'd be at like five o'clock six o'clock on a Sunday And it would be or maybe seven o'clock and it would and you knew you had school the next day and it in the sun and just hitting that Stadium halfway and it was just halfway filled with the sun and you're like all right, and he's covered in mud He's got mud in his helmet and you're like let's see if John L We can do it this time that energy. Oh, I fucking look for that in life. That's why I drink that's why you drink there you go Block ponds two-minute drills fucking fake fake ponds a dropkick free You see the dropkick Onside to kick the other day. No, no, I'm oh my god like that shit. I get so excited for that shit No, it's the others the excitement of watching those guys is the fucking greatest dude. It's the greatest Maybe you should do that as a single guy get really really into sports. I'm no, I don't think so Just go just travel every weekend and do what you kill us doing go every fucking weekend to every Fucking game. He is like he's like almost like a make a wish kid with fucking sports. Yeah, he does. He goes out of every Game that he wants to go to it's fucking great. I think it's a great thing to do He is that I mean look you're you're dude You prepare half the time fucking live some life clips to have some Tommy time. Yeah. No, you're right. I should I should you should do a new web series called Tommy time Tommy time where you grow And you learn things about yourself, and you go very you go to an anger management coach. Mm-hmm. You go to you go to You you take sailing let Tommy time. Tommy time sailing lesson, and this is a this is a series for divorce dad's skin care All skin care. Yeah, yeah, you get you go to turkey. You got hair replacements. They they pitched me. They're like your perfect candidate Are you see what your hair looks like right now dude? It's so Full everywhere but here and they're like that's why you're good candidate for real. Yeah, let me see. Let me see. Let me see Yeah, I'll give you the peak Oh no go up go up wait you you you're not losing it that bad Tom what you're not losing it that bad Yeah, I am he obviously there's nothing here. I think you have the same amount of hair. I have Hmm. I think we have the same amount of hair What? Nothing. Okay. I said I think we have the same amount of hair Your ears is more missing here though. Mine's more missing here. Yeah, mine's missing here Oh Yeah, yeah, you're the perfect candidate. You could fill in really easy and you got thick back hair like the the back head of your head Yeah, yeah is really thick. Yeah, there we go man. New look I mean what are we doing? Should I do the full replacement and then just shave all the time? Yeah, dude It's you're entering a new this is your salad days it's a new part of your life Okay, I think you get you started off with hair transplants. Yeah, yeah, you started off with hair transplants You I mean, I told I've been telling everyone just so you're we're clear just and so you're not blindsided by it Yeah, that you're living in an apartment just outside San Antonio. Perfect It's like someone's like how's everyone says to me how's Tommy doing and I go not good man Thanks, but he's living in an apartment just outside San Antonio. They're like wow There's no way they doubt that right. They're like damn that sucks dude Rob Lowe is like are you serious? Yeah Cool here's like Rob's like thank god, I never got divorced. I was like me either wrong. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I told you when you're living in an apartment outside San Antonio is pretty sad apartment. It's an efficiency It's true. You're making all your meals by yourself. Yeah, you'll have more Yeah, no more personal assistant No flying lessons just you walking down the target getting dinner. Yeah, it's not a target Yeah, that a microwave. Let's see the back of your head nope. Why? I can't have a neck problem right now show me Nope, don't be like that. Come on Nope show Well, not guys you're cutting out. I think we're at 105. This has been a great show. You're not gonna show it really? No, I will not show you why Because I'm not going to because I have my hair is a mess right now. Just show it. It's fucking hair. No chick show the back Nope, it's good talking. I love you. You're like I love you so much. I you're cutting out. I ate. I we lost volume again Um, you're like a guy who's like don't worry about my age. It's a 80 and you're like just check out his new series Tommy time Uh tune in for hey, we know we should do Tom show your hair. We should do a fight companion to the live execution Oh my god Such a good idea. Yeah, we'll stream it live like we'll give our takes and I mean it's gonna be about Three seconds, so we have to do some pre show and post show, right? We'll do a pre show and post show and you know and we'll play the assassination or not the assassination the The we'll play the death over and over. We'll just get you know like slow mo. We're pretty sure it was shooter number seven. Yeah, yeah Yeah, and I'm a big fan. Yeah, I think we do a live stream guys tune into our live stream There's uh, there's seats. There's cabin still available and fully loaded at sea. I can't believe you permission. A party world tour is happening right now. Proposterous tour starts in October. When does it start January? Do you think some people are going to be January? Yes, January and his new movie golf trip is wrapping up. Yep. I'm really happy for you, Tom. Thanks buddy. Uh I love you to death. I love you too, man. Have a good show. Where are you tonight? I'm in Philadelphia at the Met. Uh, I'm gonna be in uh San Antonio I'm gonna see you in a couple weeks in San Antonio. I'll stay. I'd love to stay with your apartment with you just outside San Antonio and then Corpus Christi, McCallan, Texas. I just added and Lubbock, Texas. Nice and then I'll be in London. If you're in London comes hollage your boy. Hit me up in the DMs We'll go have a beer somewhere sweet. I love that shit. All right. I'm gonna grow this out Grow it out, Tom. I think it's gonna look good. And by the way, you should totally get hair transplant. Yeah, and you should we can do a go Fun me if if money's tight. Yeah, we can do a go fund me that would love to start one and definitely everyone's fooled by your beanie. No one thinks That you're missing here Full head of hair everybody. I'll be on stage with a full head of hair tonight. Okay. All right Love you. Good night. Goodbye too McCall to bears one cave.