The Roommate

It's the lonely island and the lion's podcast. Andy, this is exciting news. When I hear something's wrong with you, buddy, I'm always worried it's going to be, you know, a viral infection. But I'm so excited. This is something you did to yourself. Yeah, some fun. I could lead to a viral infection. It could. It could. And knowing you it will. But if you don't mind telling us, how did you find yourself so hung over this morning? Well, it was date night. Oh, this keeps getting better. You weren't even out with the bros. This is just true love this time in a while. I mean, every part of this is better. So you enjoyed it and just went on date night and got after it. Yeah, we met up with people after and then things spiraled from there, Seth. Gotcha. When it's just the two of you before you meet up with other people, what is the cocktail of choice? What are you guys drinking? Well, it was a sushi dinner, so it was beer and socky. Great. Yeah. I mean, you love a sushi dinner. Famously. Now, if you and Joanna decide to have a date night, what is the percentage chance it's going to be sushi dinner? Hi. Hmm. I think decent. Yeah. I feel like you both love it. It depends what city we're in. Right. Not to sound like, you know, like super cool jet setters. But like Indianapolis. Sushi. Sushi for sure. Yeah. It's better to go away from the coasts for sushi because that's where the good fish is because it thinks it's safe. It's got to travel. It's a smart fish. I think if we're at the stadium where the cults play, sushi. Lucas Oil. I'm going to, without Googling, I'm going to say it's Lucas Oil Stadium. Lucas Oil Stadium. I apologize to all of our indie listeners that I didn't know the name of it. I am a sports nut, obviously, compared to Keven Yorm. Yeah. And Lucas Oil, obviously, for a little bit of scratch, we'd love, we'd love to read a live ad. Also, we've been in that stadium for the Super Bowl, as mentioned, for the YouTube. For the Doritos. It was a Doritos thing. We successfully made a Doritos commercial and they rewarded us with a game. And saw one of the craziest Super Bowl endings of all time live. Which Super Bowl ending was that one? It was the giant's Patriots one, right? Yeah. The helmet catch? Yeah. Hey, guys, it's Andy. It wasn't the helmet catch, that was the other one. It was the sideline toe tap manning him catch that was also very impressive, but not the helmet catch. And giant's one, both those Super Bowl's, which is funny, anyway, don't come for me. I was hungover. I won a hundred dollars off of our agent, Jay, on that one, and he was so depressed, he didn't want to pay me for like six months. How much you get off him? Hundred bucks. Dagwood. A hundred. Yeah, all he gets is ten percent. He give it to you in once. The one time I went to Lucas Oil Stadium, Northwestern, not a football powerhouse, weirdly backed into the Big Ten Championship game against Ohio State. And I think 2019, and me and all my bros went, and I would say 5% of the stadium was Northwestern fans. Yeah. And maybe 5% of the scoring was done by Northwestern? Actually, it was, it was close at half time, and then they blew us out. But like, it was also the most, it was the saddest thing because like, no, Ohio State fans were mean to you. They were just like, "Hey, good job." That's way worse. You know what? That's way worse. That was football out there. Good job. We toured for Pop Star, and we went to Ohio State, and my friend Jake is a big Michigan fan, like massive. When we got up, and we were talking to like, you know, 400 kids from Ohio State, I was like, "Hey, my buddy Jake is a big Michigan fan," and everyone was like, "Boo, fuck him!" Like, and I was like, on the count of three, can everyone say, "Up yours, Jake!" And I got a really good video of 400 people saying that. It's crazy that I must have been there and have no memory of even ever going to Ohio State. Oh, yeah. We really? We got jerseys and everything. Oh, this sounds familiar. It was not a whirlwind going over at the press store. Yeah, we didn't know where we were. We're not going to say anyone's B-scores, but I do want to start off with some gaming stuff, because me, Keven Yorm, have been sharing our mini-scores because it's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I hadn't done the Mini in years. Just getting way better, by the way, everyone. So, but something that's funny. If you do the Mini, you know Saturday is harder. Oh, I didn't know that. But I feel like I had a Yorm score today because my brain is so foggy from all of the alcohol I consume. That's great. So, I am you hungover. So, Keven sent us his score. Yours was the Saturday one, right? Keven, feel like. Yeah, it was bad. It was really bad. 502 for me this morning. Oh, 502 for the Mini. Yeah. But it's a big Mini. That's weird. Your scores are like 25, 35 seconds. The clues in the squares were swimming around in front of my eyes. Well, I don't feel as bad about mine. I beat you. Yeah. Here's the thing. I still don't understand the format of it. Like, when it's a quote, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't understand when you don't know any immediately. Yeah, that's one thing. But also, you know, there's certain things where like, if you've done a thousand minis, you know what it's going to be before you even get three words through the clue. Really? Yeah, we're just like a cookie that you're like, it's Oreo. It's just Oreo. Yeah. Doesn't matter what backwards way, they try to phrase it like, we need the, oh, we need the car. We need the in the. Gotcha. Okay. We need to hang out with you for a little while. All right. Someone please, please take the wheel. I fell off a scooter in Indianapolis. I've told the story before, but like one of those rental scooters and, you know, looking back, I think I was maybe a little bit of the shape that Andy was in last night. I shouldn't have been on a scooter. Sure. And I fell off a scooter. And I just remember I was wearing, because it was, you know, it was the end of the football season. It was like December and any other was cold. And it was a really nice, like New York City dude coat. And I was with all my midwestern friends and I fell and just ripped a little bit. And there was just this little white tuft of, like, fluff coming out of my nice coat. And it made my friends laugh so hard because when I got up and they saw I was okay, just it was the perfect amount of, like, ruined coat, to give context for this. When we first moved to New York, we realized that buying a coat was, like, buying a car. You're not going to have a car. So this is like the biggest purchase you're going to make. So it's very, that's very sad, Seth. And they're not, by the way, no one's impressed with your coat outside of New York. No one's like, yeah, I'm done, you know, like it's fucking good. We never thought you had it in you. You guys, while you're, while you're doing the mini and God bless, by the way, I'm proud of all of you. I was home. I was in New Hampshire last night doing a stand-up chart event. Woke up. Thank you. Thank you. Not my last brag of this story. Woke up at 4 a.m. took a car to a ferry, took a ferry to Martha's Vineyard. And I ran the Martha's Vineyard 5K road race. On a scooter. This morning? What do you think? This morning. What do you think my mile pace was, Andy? I don't even know what a funny guess is. I'm going to guess four miles an hour. Four miles an hour. So 15-minute miles. Yeah. That's what I would guess, too. Like a light jog. Okay. Like the lightest jog I can think of. I think it's not bad now. Half and fast. Half and fast. I did 730s. What? Why are you so good at running? You've always been a runner. I'm very proud of myself. And by the way, for those listeners who also listen to Family Trips, I will be talking about this on that podcast and I might start a third podcast to talk about it there. Well, if I had done that, I would as well. What would the title of that podcast be? Just running? Yeah, yeah. Just running and gunning. Probably. Yeah. I'm running gunning with Seth by himself. Anyway. And my hip hurt so bad that I kind of want to cry. Right. Little comments. Moving over to the comments. And halfway is the yorm of the Odyssey because everybody is on a boat, but her. Okay. Another boat. Okay. More Odyssey. I'm on a boat related content. Yeah. Fuck. Really? I really enjoyed that. I was like, oh, yeah. Totally tracks. You're some notes on your voice note. Uh-oh. You're out of breath jogger vibes with his voice, man. Yeah. It was, it was late. Also killer from Silence of the Lambs vibes. Well, here's the thing. It was 2.30 in the morning. And then I couldn't sleep. And I was like, let me listen to these sons of bitches. And then, you know. Yeah, I had to respond. I'm glad you did it the way you did it. Thanks. I would love. I know none of us could. For a second, I'm like, is there a way I could get Chris Nolan to leave a voice note saying that he always thought of Anne Hathaway as the Yorm of the Ox? Like, I definitely was like, he likes McGruber. What if I was like, hey, hey, asshole. Since you wouldn't put your name on the group, the sequel to the group. Would you say Matt Damon is the McGruber of Interstellar, maybe? He's totally the McGruber of Interstellar. Totally. Totally. He probably made the whole crew watch McGruber before that scene. This is what we're channeling. Yorm, do you send us photos of Lin-Man Well and the Dwayagan? How did it come to pass? Tell us about it. So there's a drive in that we've actually, I've done a screening of Hot Rod there. I've done a screening of McGruber there in Aminia, New York. And so I've done three screenings there. And we did one of over your dead body and Lin showed up from his rehearsals for the warriors. And he showed me some shit and I'm like, fucking thrilled. It's going to be great. And yeah, the two of us hung out. And we sat in his car. We should have been in the Dwayagan. And so we sat in his car. We couldn't figure out the defrost. So we just had to have the window wipers go the whole time. And Lin was like, oh yeah, those sounds always like the syncs a little off. It just is what it is sort of thing. And then afterwards, we were like a second behind and I was like, fuck, he's not going to enjoy this as much as possible. And then we had a bumping too, it was loud. And then afterwards, I talked to people who were like, no, the sync was fine. He heard your car echoing the entire time because you have them. And I was like, oh shit. But yes, he loved the Dwayagan. was very fun. It was very fun to see pictures together. A lot of people in commenting about the creep. So this is the first question, and then other people answered the question and had some to say about it. Quaid Army, I have a question. On Keyv's second verse, he said, "They knew I was a creep since the day I was born, came pop it out my mama like some. It's Kettle Corn." Kettle Corn. What do people think it was? They wanted a clarification. So I wrote that down. A lot of people then, as I read the entirety of the comments, said that the way Keyv says Kettle Corn has always been their favorite part of that song. It's like genuinely, when they hear Kettle Corn, they hear it in Keyv's voice. Pop it out his mama like some catacombs. That's nice. Someone also thought it was catacombs, which I'm like, "Oh, that's pretty fun too." Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. It's a little weird to refer to it that way, but sure, it's clever. Another comment about the creep. First they said, when we first started dating my husband, I used to sing this song all the time to the husband and Jerome Crazy, but I truly believe it's impossible to be sad or mad singing this song. I think that's true, but also based on what she said about her husband, I think it's possible to be sad or mad hearing that song. But I think the singing of it is a truly joyful experience, but you might maybe, if you're in the room with somebody singing the creep, you might not fully agree. Just shout out Weird Al, another one that also you cannot be depressed or sad listening to is the song "Alba Kirkki" by Weird Al. It's got eight minutes long. Check it out. Check it out. What else? Sometimes people say if we want a tip on something, I don't know why we'd want a tip, but people have requested we say tip us in the nipus. Sure. Maybe if we want a tip, like a hot tip. And if we're on the fence about whether or not we're right about something, correct us in the pectus. Correct us in the pectus. These are hard to remember for me. These are going to be hard for you. Oh, I added some parlance to spelling bee, which I'm very happy with, which is clean gene. Yeah, you've been hitting me with that this week. Wait, so clean gene, because I'm never going to clean bee. I'm never going to get a clean bee. It's never even come close. A clean gene is when I get genius clean, and I've had a couple of clean diseases. Oh, clean gene. Clean genoclelin. That's very respectable. Clean geneoclelin. Your clean being Oakland. Yeah. Did you know that we're from the best? All three of us. Then someone again, to Shakur, that got that guy, you know, I fucked up. You know, Mr. Shakur. Mr. Shakur. I'm a fan of him. Whom was his name? The first name of whom? Tupac. Yeah, you got it. Actually, double clutched again. Macolditch, Macolditch, a monologue writer for late night, who was in the pod, wrote in, and revealed that there are certain words they've taken out of the monologue, because I can't say anything. Oh, yeah. Oh, like what? They have a list. Like what? Tupac is one in a cinnamon. Cinnamon. No, just couldn't do it right now. It just can't do it. I still don't know what you're supposed to say. Is it cinnamon or cinnamon? That's the problem. It's a button, right? It's a button, but it's spelled with an Owen. So I'm sorry. That's why some people do say cinnamon, and maybe that's right. But they like, I guess, days, you know, your old friend days, and he's like, it's not worth it. Wait, how many times has cinnamon come up in your monologue? He's like, make it any ends. I remember when Tappet was eating cinnamon. Take it out. I'm not teaching him again. I'm not going to do it. I feel that sometimes the promos for SNL, the host has to say SNL because they can't say Saturday night live fast. For real, I genuinely get a little nervous every time I have to say in like an outro, if one of the current SNL cast members are on, Saturday night live is not fun to say. Yeah, and I'm hosting Saturday night live like it does kind of clatter. It's not good. It's not going to, it's not going to work as a title, but if you say like Don Parto, it helps, right? Saturday night live. Yeah. Yeah. I get all the syllables in there. They got the slowest announcer they ever confined, just because they were like, he'll make sure it's clear. Oh, and then someone wrote, and again, this is based on my pronunciation. I always love when Seth talks about anything hip-hop because he just seems like a guy who thinks Mumford and Sons is totally too hard for him. That seems-- And he gets spooked. He gets spooked and has to turn it off. And it was funny because I saw that in a burn, but I will say, when I hear Mumford and Sons, I do often think they're going to break their instruments. Yeah, well, they're playing the fuck out of them. They're playing the fuck out of them, and I'm just like, that's not-- I'm sorry, that is not Bill for that. And then a bunch of people pointed out what less did you expect from a turbo white? And I think that's fun, that's fine as well. Oh, another thing, because we talked about Nicki Minaj and Kanye on last week's pod. Some had said pretty cowardly for a key bit of weight until Maga Yorm was off the pod to call out Nicki and Kanye. I knew you would have defended them. Yeah, I would have-- If I had been there, I would have fucking thrown down. Throwed down. Recyphans was in Little Nikki. Recyphans was also in Little Nikki? Well, who did we say? Whoever we said we were. I said the wrong person. I said Jonathan Reece, but also, by the way, it's not Jonathan Reece Davies, it's Jonathan Reece Myers, or John Reece Davies. So we were conflating the two names, giving John the Jonathan due to Reece Myers. And then, yeah. So apologies. 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Now I've done an article ad before and I can actually talk from personal experience because I was lucky enough to get to choose something from their website and it is a dresser that is in my bedroom and it is genuinely super high quality. It is all wood. It looks beautiful. It actually has a really nice modern design. I am not blowing smoke. This is a genuine endorsement for article. Andy, have you been in my bedroom? I haven't seen this thing. I've been in your bedroom. Right, but when you're in there with me, we're not looking at the dresser, am I right? That's what I'm trying to get at. My guy. You, Andy, are both cohesive and stylish. Much like Article One. Right back at you. All of these things apply to Andy and Article. You are consistently high quality, my friend, and Article. I can immediately tell the difference in quality when I look at an article thing or when I look at you versus your competitors. Thank you so much for saying that. Listen, they also did a white glove move in where I didn't have to do nothing. It was amazing. They just brought it in. I gave my old dresser away to somebody. They're happy. It's moving on. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim. Visit article.com/island and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/island for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Support comes from Quo. You know that moment where you text your whole team. Did anyone follow up with that guy? Silence. Tumble leads. Do you know that, Andy? That sounds familiar to you. Yeah, I think we've all been there, Keith. Honestly, we have. One thumbs up emoji two hours later. What the fuck, y'all? Meanwhile, the customer has already moved on. Got married, started a new business and retired. At some point, you're just like, "Let's fucking Quo." That's actually in the ad copy. I didn't add that fuck. That's why I knew the first fuck was okay. Yeah. This is honestly something we need, Andy. This is about being on a group chat with people you're in business with, trying to organize something and get some responses. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. Spelled Q-U-O. The business phone system built, so you never have to miss a call. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place, so anyone on your team can pick up a conversation and see the full history and respond fast. "Yorm, are you listening?" Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses who rely on it to stay reachable and look professional every day. Andy, do you think your arm could use this? "Ditch the quid, bro." "Oh, yeah, but the Quo." "Shit. They have to pay us double for that. That was really good." "It was a good new slogan for them. That's their new slogan." Quo, if you want to use that new slogan, it just got to cuff up some money because we already copyrighted it. "It's a Quo again." Set up a minute on any device. Keep your existing number and add teammates as you grow, no IT, no hassle. Quo integrates with the tools your team already uses like HubSpot. We use that, Zapier, Claude, and more. We love all those. Oh my god, do we ever use those? I'm always hitting this guy up on Zapier and he's like, "But I just hit you on HubSpot." And we're like, "No wonder we missed each other." Isn't that right, Andy? "Ditch the quid and the bro." "Yeah, with the Quo." "Yeah, sorry, I started looking at an email. I'll admit it." At least we were using Quo so I could see that email. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/lonelyisland. That's q-u-o.com/lonelyisland. transferred to him. And so we said, is there anything we need you know, as you sort of get your get your life in order? Here's what he said in quails you're getting this. It's very likely that I'm already sealed up in my cryocophan in the facility. There are a few loose ends that I need you to tighten for me. If you could please go down to my office at the wharf, look for three satchels, one is filled with coins. One will have a sick likely have a substance that's still dry. The third is just filled with the dirt. I need you to separate all three of those bags. Make sure they're very far apart from each other. That's it. That's it. Well, that's it for now. If our paths cross again in the future, I hope that I have the pointier stick as they say. Let it go. See you in the next life. Oh, me oh my. As they say, the pointer stick. Damn it. We are really our four shock jocks creating the zoo crew of our dreams. I mean, it's pretty good. Every time we have a new voice, I'm just like, who else can we get to join the zoo crew? We got Hamilton Whiteman. We got Michael Jackson Michael Jackson and Hamilton Whiteman are calling us. They went to Indy 500 there together. Let's hear from Michael Jackson and Hamilton Whiteman. Like six episodes from now, we're going to start like sexually harassing each other. Do you have any idea what I would do to you? Oh my god, look at you. Oh, no. They were like, yeah, no, they went full. They started ironically, but then they did turn into four shock jocks. Yeah, they turned into old stirring before before therapy. Where are you made a breakthrough? What do you drink it there for your hangover curie? And he was like, is that coconut water? Coffee and coconut water alternating. Great. It's more man. Do you feel like you're coming out of it at all? No, I'm feeling dizzy sitting down. Yeah. Are you going to be taxed today? It's a Saturday when we're recording. Well, yeah, I'll be, I'll be in it with the children. Yeah. And one thing I've always said about young children, a lot of sympathy. A lot of sympathy? Yeah, they like it when their parents are weak. If not sympathy, empathy. It's not just that they feel bad for you. They feel your pain as well. I was downstairs drinking my coffee just before this and I finished my cup of coffee and I was planning to refill it. I'm a daughter leaned over and just spit my cup and then looked up at me and smiled. I was like, what the fuck? She was like, I don't know. Just started cackling. He's so prank. Looks like dad's getting a new cup. It's hard when you think it's funny. It was pretty good. I know. She's like, how far can I take it if it's funny? I'm like, you just asked the question of my entire existence. Oh my gosh, he really bullies you. Yeah, yeah, but I deserve it. No, it's fine. Real quick, I just want to say, if you were like, what were the five best things that happened to you this week? I would say for the last six months, one of those five things has been somebody saying, quite armed to me. It just makes me so delighted. Especially because when you go back to the beginning here, this was the thing that Keith tried to start for a long time. Right, just kill is no officially a thing. This is the opposite of whatever Keith's peeve is, this has got to be the opposite of it. It's a lesson about just sticking with stuff. Don't let things go. I don't want to add more to it, but I am wondering if I'm going to start saying right, just kill with my hand and my stomach. Like, it's quiet. Oh, like acting it out. Like, and just like, like just like a little plot. A little plot. A little plot. A little plot. Right, just kill. Like, that's the salute. Right. Just kill, Quaid. Open your mind. If you do that when people say it to you, Seth, I will give you $100. If I say it, like, like, Quata. Right. Just kill. Somebody said their favorite line in the creep is the T-Rexan and asked who wrote it. Of course, I know for a fact to wrote it. Andy's observation about T-Rex's arms is. As really I'm guessing I did, but I will also say me and your. I think often would talk about T-Rex's arms. I mentioned Keves' peeves and we have your thorns. Somebody suggested Andy Allcaps when you're mad about things. Andy Allcaps? Andy Allcaps. Oh, instead of, like, Andy Cap? Yeah, like Andy Cap. It was sent in by an 85-year-old man. Andy Allcaps. Oh, man, I love it every time a new Andy Cap drops. Oh, Andy in his way. I can't believe they're making it work. You know what? Respect. They're making it work. I don't think they like each other, but. Goddammit, they're making it up. Don't you think this guy's got a drinking problem? Well, you, my friend, we kind of rushed through. The creep was the Jesse Eisenberg show. You did a monologue with Mark Zuckerberg and Jesse Eisenberg and you. That's right. Do you have any memories of what is sort of historically a pretty trippy? A pretty trippy moment? Yeah, I remember. I remember not knowing what to expect from Jesse, because I had seen, like, squid and the whale and stuff. And he's so. Yeah. Like, you love watching him, but he's, like, intentionally repellent in that character. And then he arrived and was so lovely and thoughtful and, like, nice and funny and cool. He's the best. Yeah, and I was like, "Oh, you're a really good actor." Yeah. Really good actor. Yeah. Love's comedy. Yeah. You know, just, like, an outside-looking-hand-loved comedy. I don't remember how it came together that Zuckerberg actually came to the show, though. Yeah. I remember it was because you had played Zuckerberg, but it was obviously more intense for Jesse. Yes. His depiction was different than mine, for sure. Yeah. But I knew when he was coming, I was like, "Oh." Yours was more nuanced. I don't even remember what I did. Probably to put a wig on. Yeah, it was just, like, "Oh, he was cool." Like, vaguely Canadian, for some reason? Right. But yeah, I knew that I was going to try and get it on the show because it was like, you know, if you do an impression of anything having to do with anything with the host, you just try and shoe-worn it in immediately so you can be on the show. And so, I'm sure that's where it started, but I don't know. This is a good transition to my new organization called Kings in America. And it's supporting Kings in America. Oh, cool. So it's, like, no Kings, but it's the opposite. It's, like, no Kings, but it's, like, sort of different. It's the opposite. Oh, yeah. Andy, had we gone to Facebook by that point and-- No, it was after. Okay. Because we met Zuckerberg that night and he was a big lonely island fan. Yeah. And was, like, I'm naming, like, the conference rooms at our campus after, like, lonely island songs. It was just one. There was an "I'm on a boat" conference room. Yeah. At the original Facebook. I want to say, like, there was, like, a game of thrones themed, named "Room" and then, like, an "I'm on a boat" room. But yeah, we did then go out there. And then I've told that story before where he realized that I wasn't on Facebook and made me sign up for Facebook. And he was my only friend. And it was really funny because he had difficulty doing it and had to get help. Is that true? Yeah. That was the funniest shit I've ever-- He was having technical difficulties and he had to get a different laptop and then somebody had to do it for him. I feel like one thing they should tell all those tech guys is, like, you don't ever try to use the product. You don't know how hard it is. Like, you have, like, these big ideas and we figured out how to do it. For the reason why-- I mean, anybody might go, but the reason why we went was we were doing pre-promotion for one of our albums. And I don't remember which one it was. Where we were, like, going around to all the, like, iTunes and Facebook and Twitter offices to, like, shake hands in the hope that they'd help us promote it. Oh. And they did. That's why we were up in Silicon Valley, as they call it. Press stuff, I just don't retain, I think. Yeah. We were just sucking that digital penis, you know what I mean? Oh. And when you shook their hands, Andy, you would often say, "I'm not going to remember this," right? [laughter] I have promo face blindness. Yeah. Years, Jesse. I'm not going to say that. No, no. Even thinking of saying something like that is kind of-- It was actually kind of giving me a panic attack right now. You know what? I feel like I'm misrepresenting myself. Yeah, well, misrepresenting people is something you have a lot of practice with. Whoa. Mark Zuckerberg. Hey, how are you? Oh, how am I? I'm bad. Okay? You got nominated for an Academy Award for playing me. And what do I get? You know, what do I have to feel good about? Wasn't Facebook just valued at, like, $50 billion? Oh, that's right. Yeah. You know what was interesting about the social network is that I remember your brother, Micah, Keeve, saying that, like, because he was sort of around during that time, that his critique-- it wasn't even a critique and an acknowledgement that the major difference between Zuckerberg and the portrayal of Zuckerberg is that Zuckerberg smiles. And he really smiles, and Jesse barely smiles in the movie. And it's very disarming when someone smiles. And Zucker smiles a lot, actually. Yeah, he smiles a lot. I think he's maybe too jacked for the old smile muscle. I don't think I'm thinking the last 10 years of Zuckerberg is being smiles. You're met the America 250 UFC event. Did you seem smiling a lot? I mean, I was a little farther back just because, like, the tickets were like $150,000 for me. So I, like, I did the more, like, 75 range. But he seemed like he was smiling because I had, like, these smaller binoculars kind of thing to see stuff. I'm surprised you wouldn't get a better deal with your Trump coin. Were they not accepting it at that? They were. They were. You kind of had to buy in to get more, actually. Yeah, you had five total lines. I was like to say, you're always on the bottom of the pyramid scheme. I like buying in. I mean, but I don't do a lot of programs. Last guy, you know, like a last guy in situation. to go to MMA with your arm because the whole time he's like, "Oh, I wish I was in there." Yeah. Oh, should I go? Should I go? Andy always has to hold me back. Oh, I'm lost. Lot of calling the place. Oh, he's going to put him in a. He's going to put him in a figurine. No, I probably shouldn't because of the latter thing, right? I would have put him in a headlock. You should let him go next time, Andy. And just watch as he tries to find the door to the octagon. Hold on, I'm coming. Hold on. Not this side. Not this side. Oh, there's a code. Oh, who knows the code? Let's watch. This is the roommate. Oh, my God. I have a lot of love for the roommate. And we're going to watch it. It's a minute long. Okay, let's watch it. Which characters it from the vault? I think this is an original. Yeah, but it's Declan, right? Yeah, what's Declan from? Oh, was Declan not pre-existing? I don't think so. You know what? I'm thinking of Gerard, the guy who's always sick. And who's the worst dude ever? Gerard is the worst dude ever. And who's the guy who's always sick? Gerard is always sick. Gerald. They're so different, dude. Shame on me for not keeping it straight. Seth, they can be that similar, because neither of them ever got to even go to dress. They're very different characters. By the way, Gerard toured with the quai. Gerard, the worst dude ever toured with the quai. The quai. I mean, I think it was an ad for a gin. But did you see the. There was like a new Jameera quai ad where they like re-did the. Virtual insanity, yeah. Do you see it? I'm not sure I did. Obviously that's a classic video. I just liked watching that dude at that age. He's still very good dancer. And he seems like you have a lot of fun. We could do an entire episode on Gerard, the worst dude ever, in Gerald. The man who's always sick. Maybe they're too fake. I think we've talked about it a lot. It's been pretty well covered. Yeah, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. That's your Silicon Valley. You're having no memory of it. Hey, fucking Andy, you didn't remember there was a three shot. So we're the same. We're the same. But this is based on a movie, right? Yes. Okay. This movie came out like this week. Okay. The roommate. Oh, that makes it make more sense. Yeah, it was very much a topical. Yeah. It was a very, very late in the week. Bieber wants to come and do a pre-tape. And we were like, "Uh, we don't have anything ready." Gotcha. And so, this was whipped up. I think it was me, Rob Klein, John Solomon, who have both sent in voice notes. Okay. So it must be the roommate, a late mister, Mika Kelly. And then it's kind of a shopper shopperity. Yeah. And I believe the roommate is like a single white female in college, right? Yeah. And I'm just going to say before we watch it, I know it's going to probably feel a little slight. I have so much memory of loving this. A great deal. Oh, really? I really do. It's you as Declan. It's not going to make anybody's top 10 Andy characters. But I might throw a vote at it just so it shows up in the Final Tower. All right. I find what you like fascinating sets. Well, just let's just watch it, then I'll talk about it. I feel like the fall is imminent, but yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. I've blown it by saying I have good memories of it, but. [Applause] Hey. You're room 316. Thanks. Welcome to college. I'm Declan. You're new roommate. Hey. So I guess you're best friends now, huh? What? I love you. Get anything. This isn't going to be one of those things where our friendship starts out fine, but then you get really possessive and crazy because I'm not really up for that. What? No. I'm totally normal. I found a straight puppy. What should we name him? He's dead rat. You make me smile. No honey, how's your new roommate? Um. I'm definitely trying to tell you. Are you on the phone? I got the same haircut as you. That's not my haircut. Bird. The roommate. I know. I love that. I love that. That was perfect. That was some of the fastest editing I've seen in a while. It was lovely. It's perfect. I forgot a lot of that. Sir Ben Kingsley. By the way, I forgot a lot of it. There's five jokes. Each one's great. Each one works. It does not overstay. It's welcome. It's like sprinting to stay a little bit ahead of the audience the whole time. Was Bieber the musical guest of the show? It's what I said. Right? He dropped in. Was he hosting? What's the next week? Do we have that one? Dana Carvey. Oh, it's Dana Carvey. Yeah. But was Bieber the musical guest, though? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Wait, Andy, can I ask you a question? Yes, please. How'd you do the naked shot of you holding the knife? Was that cocksucker? What was that? That's what they call it. Oh, got to hate that term. But thank you for saying it. Technical. It's a technical term. Yeah, I think it was like the most tiny dance belt. It was Dana Carvey and Lincoln Park. Oh, Lincoln Park. And then a few shows later, you do a beastly trailer from the Miley Cyrus episode with Miley. You look like Declan in the beastly one. Is it the same character coming back? It's a recurring character at that point. Yeah. It got it. Yeah. I can't remember who was like, should we just do it again? And it was real. It was a real fun. You know, ultimately, re-list into the podcast. This is when you got to go and watch, obviously. It was a very sight gag, heavy. And I like your look a lot. Thank you so much. I think this was the beginning of an era for me. We're keeping your, obviously, we're a little more in and out for good reasons. And I started cutting stuff I was making, like, psychotically tight. Yeah. And this is very much in that vein. But I will say, watching it back now, I'm like, I'm glad it's not a second longer. Oh, totally. Also, keeping your arm, again, for the right reasons are not as available. I've loved your partnership with Cline and partnership with Solomon. Same. You know, Joe's Malaney. There were a lot of people that, but Cline, you and Cline, maybe, were my favorite. The way you guys, your sensibility would just get way out of bounds in a way. We do each other around a lot. We amp up the doof. Yeah. There was one thing that I wanted to pitch retroactively, which is that I wouldn't have minded if you had turned your whole head around 180 to say the roommate. Oh, yeah. That would have fit right in for sure. The other thing is, because, again, Cline is the most measured we've talked about, and he's so even-handed. He comes off as very right early, and he seems like a guy who would try to rain you in, and yet the opposite is true. He wanted to go to Doof Town with you. Yeah. We're bad influence on each other. No. Don't stop for gas. Don't stop for water. Just full speed ahead. Yeah. So now that we've watched it and we're talking about Cline, he sent in a voice note. Right. The roommate is so good. Here's the two things I remember or that I just think are worth noting. Number one, in my memory, Seth, you did support this at the time. Just for the record, I believe we told you this. You said, "I like that." You said, "It's okay to write that." I believe that that is what happened. I don't know what your memory of it is for this. And the second thing I just want to make sure you guys mention is if you go to YouTube, it says it's a minute and 33 seconds. But then if you scroll to the one minute and one second mark, they're already playing bumpers to watch other Andy Sandberg sketches to watch Justin Bieber sketches. I'm scrolling through it now. So this thing clocks in at a minute flat, which is maybe unheard of in the history of short videos. Obviously you guys have talked about how a video needs to be at least 90 seconds to support like a set change or something like that. So this could not have been used in any useful or helpful way to the show, which I guess indicates that Lauren aired it just cheerly for love of the game. You just wanted to get it out there. Wonderful. Lovely. I think Klein left that because he was worried that I was going to be thrown in shade at the roommate. And so I'm glad that I established before we played the voice note that I fucking love it. It makes me so happy that you love it. I love it so much. Free backed it up. So as you mentioned, Seth Solomon was also part of this. She directed it. Yeah. She sent a voice note. Great. I want to preface the voice note by saying that in our text chain, me and John and Rob, he said, it sounds like I say Justin Vever. And then Klein wrote, who's Justin Vever, John? So now let's listen to it and see if it does sound like that. Sometimes you do stuff and it's just perfect and it comes out perfect. And that's what the roommate is. And I don't think there's ever been a better fusion of actor and role than Andy is Declan. As far as the shoot goes, all I remember was it was a very late night and Justin Vever was very game. And I think the work speaks for itself. I mean, the best thing is to listen to the two co-readers and realize that they and their bones are going to get out just in time, even with the voice note. Is that real drop in my piece? The voice note length should match the length of the short. They would say, don't do a longer voice note. It was like that movie that TV show, The Offer, about the making of Godfather. Oh, that's a key of his favorite. Love it. Go on. But it's 12 hours. I'm like, wait, the movie's only three hours. Well, it takes a lot longer to make a movie than it does to watch a movie. Oh, okay. And I guarantee it took more than 13 hours in real life when they were making it. See? So they actually did us a big favor. It wasn't in real time. I like The Offer. Keith? Oh, yeah. Love The Offer. Okay. Matthew Good. I love Matthew Good. Robert Evans. So good. Yeah. If you've seen the trailer for the movie, I play Rocky. - Oh, yeah, I mean, I just can-- - Write down Main Street. - Write down Main Street. - Yeah, it looks like a fun time. - It really does look like it's good Rocky. He's got a good size alone. It's funny to like have to actually do a Sylvester Stallone impression that's not for comedy. - By the way, this is another one in our running series of auditions that would be incredible to see. - Oh, I got Andy. Let's do it. Hey, welcome. How you doing? - Andy Sandberg reading for Sylvester Stallone. - Great, we're just, hey, by the way, Quaid Army. - Oh, right, just Carol. - Right, just Carol Quaid. - Oh my God, that's fantastic. We heard something about that about it. - Whenever I'm ready. - Yeah, whenever you're ready Sylvester Stallone and I play Rocky. - Okay, here we go. You know, I'm gonna go, I'm just gonna take off. It's not gonna be me, my face isn't right. I can't do the voice, but it's so nice to see everyone and I'll catch you on the next one. - Do you wanna play Mickey? Do you wanna try Mickey? - No, I can't do Mickey. (laughing) - That was out of the door. - It's so great that you travel across town and for that, oh my God. - It's so funny, they had to find a guy who looked like Sylvester Stallone, but not a funny version. 'Cause they had to be like an act, he has to act. - Wait, but you bring it up 'cause that same actor played Al Pacino in the offer. - Did he? - Yes, yeah. - Did he really? - That's why you went back to back. - That's why you were bringing it up. - No, I just because I think the offer and I play Rocky are the same, which is a movie about the making of a movie or a TV show. - I believe it's the same guy. Is that right, Nambie? - I think it is. - He was like, I'm really good at impressions, but they're not funny. They're like, oh, you might be just right. - Just be what we're looking for. - You're just talking about acting, Seth. - I guess that is what I'm talking about. Hey, here's a, we talked about height. Is it just comment from a quid? If I had to guess, I would say, "Yormis 57, but he says he's 59." And he's 59, but he says he's 5/11. Seth is 5/11, but he says he's 6 feet. And Akiva is 6/4, but he says he's 5/9. (laughing) - It's kind of scathing. Like kind of a scathing comment. - It's kind of scathing. - Not sure why you have to scathe us so much. - I say I'm 5/8. - Someone gave me a time stamp, and I bet I'm not gonna be able to share my screen. Never fucking works. - Oh, while you're looking Seth, Akiva can I ask you a question? - Oh yeah. - Do I make you horny, by the way? (laughing) - Here it comes. Our next phase. I mean, I guess sometimes. - All right. Good, 'cause I was wondering actually, in earnest if I, in fact, made you horny. Kama, baby. - Yeah, that's what you said. I answered. I'm glad to know now that I do. - Okay, grammar. - I do indeed make you horny. Kama, baby. - Yes, you do, baby. - Kiva, some people thought you looked like this guy in Spanish. - Oh shit. - I praise. - A lot of burns here. Jesus Christ. - Why not? - Yeah, that's right. - Somebody sent in a 1981 scanners. If you go to it on YouTube at 117.34, it's like Kiva's older cousin. - We could certainly be brothers here. - Yeah, definitely. - I enjoyed that. I enjoyed being given a time code and being like, "Well, where am I gonna find scanners?" You're like, "Oh, the whole thing's on YouTube." Great. But I bet it doesn't match up at the time code. And then I'm like, "Nope, that's Kiva." (laughing) - It's great when things work, you know? - Hey, light, it's great when things work. Thanks for your time codes. Not enough, maybe shout out to time codes, everybody. - You know me and your mom are really into this. - Oh, your mom, while I remember. Do I make you horny, baby? - Oh. - Oh, right now? - Do I make you horny, baby? - Right now, you're asking right now or just in general? - Uh, I would take either. - Both. - Yeah, this back and forth is not making me horny. - You are right now. Hold your hands up like you're at the shooting range. - Oh, yeah, he does. - He's got shooter glasses on. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's got his ear protection, he's got his eye protection. - Seth, I have a question for you honestly about this episode. - Great. (laughing) - Answer it. I did Mike Myers was at this episode. There was a way, there was a Wayne's World. - Was it really? - Because Dana Carvey, Dana Carvey came back and hosted. - Oh, of course it was the cold hope. - There was a church chat and there was a Wayne's World and it was very fun. I was very happy to work on Wayne's World to work on church chat. - That's like the era I came up with. - It was super fun. - Same. - Eric Gilliland, a dear friend of mine. Rest in peace and beloved by a lot of people in our business. He came in because he was friends with Mike Myers and was really cool to work with him on Wayne's World. Also, the best was John Loveitz. I remember came because Dana was hosting. And Loveitz came during air. He walked underneath the bleachers where we were all sitting and he was like, "John Loveitz, John Loveitz." John Loveitz was shaking all our hands and then he turned to Lauren and he goes, "And you are?" (laughing) - That's great, that's great. - I have a picture for a side-by-side with you arm right now. - Oh wow, that's a good-- - Look at, it's even got the silver. - Is that from Cobra? - No, that's Beverly Hills Cop too. - No, Beverly Hills Cop too. - But it's really, if you hit that pose, you even have the black and silver on the headphones. You're really doing it. - Yeah, it's really nice. - The gun is so 80s and awesome. - Yeah. - Doesn't it make you wish you were famous in the 80s, looking at that picture, Andy? - Oh, is it a better time? - Yeah, that was when America was great. - It's like it was fine. Look, being early odds famous, great. But my god, fucking 80s. (laughing) - I don't like it. - Hey, wait, I want to share with you guys a little picture here. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's very similar. - Right? - Yeah, it's similar vibes. - Well, gentlemen, this was just lovely. You know, it was a minute short. It left an impact on me. I'm really happy. Oh, wait, let's look at the numbers real quick. 'Cause I think there's a real chance for a quamplum on this one. What do we got on views for the roommate? - How do I stop? - The roommate, yes. - The roommate is at 405,000 views. - Yeah, this is gonna be real. - We could probably double that. - Yeah. - I do want to point out that it was not posted right after it was made. 'Cause it's 12 years ago. A lot of these are 12 years ago. Something happened over at the SNL. YouTube 12 years ago where they went and dug up a bunch of stuff and just started posting 'em. - Yeah. - But they were not getting the actual views. They would have gotten like the next morning of like, Justin Bieber was on SNL. - Justice for Declan now. - Justice for Declan. - Jack Black, real quick. ♪ Spelling beat ♪ (laughing) ♪ Spelling beat ♪ - Equipied with two hints. - Now, I've admitted to you what my problem was. And did you. - My two hints, each hints gave me two words because there were two words that were spelled slightly different, but were almost identical. - Yeah. Is it "Ilium?" - Mm-hmm. - And what was the other one? - I wanna say "Vellum." - Yes. So yeah, two spellings of "Ilium" and two spellings of "Vellum," but they do mean different things. - Yes, but I was just angry. That just makes me so fucking angry. I was so close. And then, yeah, all for not. - All for not. - But congrats. I think it drives you crazy, you needed hints. - I mean, I hit a hot streak this past week where I got like three or four days in a row clean. - Yeah. - And that was pretty fun. - Love you guys. - Love you too, sad. - Love you dudes. - Love you. - Later Arnold. - Later Quates. - Later Sly. - I'm gonna go. (laughing)