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The Road to Macchu Picchu w/ Ryan O’Neill & Ari Shaffir | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

2h 38m 40s

The Road to Macchu Picchu w/ Ryan O’Neill & Ari Shaffir | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

The podcast presents a lively, humorous, and immersive two-part journey to Machu Picchu with Ryan O'Neal, focusing on the challenges and wonders of the trip. From the initial planning and logistical hurdles to the realities of high altitude, food poisoning, and unseasoned meals, the experience is both physically and emotionally taxing. A major cultural highlight is the visit to Cusco, where the hosts encounter unique local traditions—such as guinea pig cuisine, juice wars among vendors, and the bustling, chaotic market life. The narrative is enriched by unexpected encounters, including a group of Dutch tourists who join mid-trip, adding both humor and cultural depth. The episode also includes a comedic interlude about Arnold Schwarzenegger and cigars, promoting Cigars International as a leading brand with unbeatable value and free shipping. Throughout, the hosts reflect on the contrast between modern Western standards and the raw, authentic realities of life in Peru, emphasizing both the hardships and the profound beauty of the journey. The episode is widely praised for its engaging storytelling, vivid visuals, and insightful observations, earning recognition as a top "instant trippy" award nominee for best trip and best pictures. The host also promotes Fabletics as a solution for holiday shopping, offering significant discounts through a code. Overall, the episode blends travel adventure, personal anecdotes, cultural exploration, and light satire into a memorable and entertaining narrative.

Transcription

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Cigars International takes in joint cigars, makes them easy, approachable and fun. And now, they're offering free everyday shipping on cigars International. No co-dominums. Cigars International is the go-to, really, for all retailer for all things cigars. Biggest selection. I love them. Gone Gohibas out of them. Use my code "trippin" at checkout for 20% off your order of $50 or more. Or visit cigarsinternational.com, www.cigarsinternational.com/trippin. And the discount will automatically apply. Guys, some exclusions apply. But it's a solid gift and a solid pickup. Let's get back to the episode. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to UB Trippin. Today, a classic, an all-time classic of the first two-parter Ryan O'Neal makes a return to the podcast to talk about the trip he and I took together to the star of Peru, Machu Picchu. He was such a great trip. We couldn't do it in one episode. I mean, it's almost five hours of podcast. So today, the road to Machu Picchu, where I mean, the whole thing, the two-parter involves intrigue, ruins, food poisoning, blood, dying children, altitude sickness, a piece of sourced and more. Guys, you want to subscribe. If you're watching on YouTube or if you're listening on Spotify or watching there, please hit the subscribe button. If you're watching on YouTube, please leave a comment for the algorithm and hit the reminder button to let you know that there'll be new episodes coming because we have a lot of great new episodes coming. November is Thanksgiving, and it's going to be thanks to you Travel Vlogger Month. Michael Kay, Seal on tour, Connor, Small Brain Americans, sabbatical, Charles World Traveler, Rolf Potts, all coming in November. So you want to subscribe and be alerted. But now, one of the greatest instant trippy award nominee for best pictures, instant trippy award nominee for best trip, instant trippy award nominee for worst trip. What a classic this is. Me and Ryan O'Neal, the road to Machu Picchu starts now. Yeah, yeah. Now, can you go back to it? It's going to take forever to get back to it. If you go through the slide show, doesn't it not a slide show? Yeah, if you go through I photo, doesn't it just go boom, boom, boom, you can click on him. I photo. You fucking. I don't know what you're talking about. You fucking. Go down there. See that thing. Okay, this is crazy. Dude, your computer screen literally just fucking looks like it is diarrhea all over. There's so much private shouldn't here. Let me. Yeah, I would imagine. I like to do this. I set you an iCloud link. That was just you. What about the people in Afghanistan, Ryan? I don't know about them. What are they going to do for freedom? I thought they're doing all right. Where you been and where you going. This is our res travel show. Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today. It's you be tripping. Yeah. Hi, everybody. Welcome to you be tripping. It's a travel podcast. It's got to be great for lighting. Every episode I go to another place. Hold on, I gotta do this. Not announcer voice. Okay. I've been doing this announced. Be casual, dude. Business casual. Yeah. Oh, hey, guys. So like we're talking like this. Oh, then oh, hey, we're having a travel podcast. Me and Ryan are nails, buddy. It's just every week we go to like a different place. How's that? Too casual? Just jump right in. Oh, how about this? What? And then I was like, hey, you know, you better get out of here. Better get out of here. Yeah. God. Yeah. It says white totally Peru. You came to visit me. You were the only people that came to visit me. Everybody was like, I'll strong Fred base. You God. Oh, my God. I really do not. That was it was a quick organization of the trip, too. I think we had about six weeks to plan it all out. Well, once that we found out, fuck, where's the fucking yours? Peruvian. I made all these, but then where's the one you sent me? I know how to find it. Wait, wait. There it is. That's I just sent you that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I did download it. No, no, just click on it and see if it'll take you right to the. But then then that's a whole other app, Ryan. It's a built-in app. Oh, it's like it's will take you directly to the app. Drive down. What is that? Ryan Peru. I got it. I know what to do. Boom. We're good. You know, a lot of hosts work this out before the show, but you get to see how the sausage is made right here. What didn't it go? I just dragged it here. You dragged it into the eye photos? No, dude. No one's using eye photos. Yeah. Tell you it's easy to talk about. Who wants eye photos? Boom. Okay. I got it. All right. Now let's start. Yeah. Would that be auspicious? I don't think so. What's auspicious? auspicious? Yeah. When they go auspicious beginnings. auspicious. Okay. From auspicious beginnings. This hat is so hot. It's how it is shockingly hot. Look at this outfit. I got it. I'm wearing long sleeve, dude. So we were like, okay, I was like, I'm going traveling. Who wants to come visit me? Tell me what you're into and and then I'll let you know what I'm there. Yeah. And it was a room full of people you asked this to. I was the only one that raised my hand. You're like, yeah, I would love to come. I'm a mantra peach. Yeah. And that's what today's episode. I do an answer voice. That's today's episodes about. It's good. That was a good one. It's thanks. Why? What were you into a much a feature fortress because it's obvious? No. Wait. Yeah. We decided because we wanted to do that. We wanted to do the Salcante trek. How do you say it? Salcante? Not Salcante. It might be that way. Well, how would the Indos say? Look, here's my, I speak with extreme confidence on things that I don't know. You're an American. I always sound like I am. It's American, but I just call it Salcante. I don't know what it is. Salcante? I'd say it's Salcante. But what were the Indos saying? Oh, who cares? What do you mean? They're the ones you know. No, no, it doesn't matter. The Indigis? The Indigis? What are the Indigis saying? It's only white Indos. You belong that whole journey. No, I know your part. She's part Indo. Oh, really? I think so. There's something in there. That's not, that's not dude. You look at, come on. Indochina? No, that's a place. Indoginus. Indochina is a place, too. Hold on. Okay. Fuck it. Who cares? Why? Is there no air conditioning here? It's hot. It's a bit hot. Okay, first of all, here's the problem with these brain slickers. They really don't breathe. Yeah. All the, all the, one of the ones I had you pull up, ponchos. Yeah, yeah. They really do not breathe. So it traps a lot of moisture in. Oh, when I undid this, it was still stuck together with Peruvian rainwater. Like there's Peruvian rainwater mold on this thing because I have not opened it since I packed it up. Were you worried about the hike at all? Yeah, because I, and I trained for it. How'd you train carrying knife around Los Angeles? That was one way. I definitely did on my right. Much too worried about getting jumped on the, on the hike to Machu Picchu than other people were. I'm a little wary of all things. Danger now? Yeah. Ever since, you got shot. Yeah. Yeah, you got shot at NLA. So once I survived that, I realized that anybody could shoot you or kill you. So now I'm on the offensive. I'm the guy out there being aggressive. Well, we found out it was like going to do November. And then it was like they're like, oh, November's like rainy season. You'll die. Yeah. They're like really much like you'll die. You can't really can't do it. I won't be fun. So we're like, all right. We literally got in there about probably the last week that it was yeah, somewhat doable, somewhat doable. Yeah. But yeah, we know we were in New York. Yeah. We stayed at your place. You were gone. When you came back, somehow we got the talking about where to go hiking. Yeah. And Peru. And then all of a sudden it was like, hey, we should do that. And then six weeks before you're like, let's, I was like, hey, we got to move it up. And so then it was a lot of like finding stuff. What do you make it? What do you mean, dude? Obviously Mata. Do you have hot water in that plastic cup? No, that's cold water. Okay. That's a starter cup. Okay. Okay. Is this one of your adventure? That's one of my many things I picked up. Dude, I'm a gay homosexual now. So as a gay homosexual, what you want to do is pull stuff on other cultures. And what was that that you just pulled out? That was a hotel key. They don't look like when you rent a hotel. It's actually a keychain, it's a real key. The times have changed, Ryan. They're cards now. It's crazy. When we had a motel, we used to put a hubcap on the key. So that when you came in, you couldn't steal it. What's your first memory of, okay, so you came. I went, I was really worried about altitude. Yeah, like very worried. So I legitimately trained for it. Wow. Okay, so I was out in Austin part of the time. Okay. So this is a great place to train for altitude. But it was so hot. Yeah. So it would be like 100 degrees, and so I would do a 13 mile walk because heat mimics altitude for conditioning. Is that a real thing? That is a real thing. That's 100% real thing. Science, facts? No, no, that is facts. And then when I got back to LA, I had a weighted vest. Yeah. I started doing the stairs, and I lived by Griffith Park, so then I started walking Griffith Park, and then I hiked Mount Baldi, which is 10,000 feet. Oh, really? Yeah. So I was, I was good. I mean. Kusko sits at 10,000 feet. 11 to 12. 11 to 12. So you remember I talked about the height 12. Oh my God. It was really hard to breathe. But you guys had been, you had been at altitude. I went from the coast, and I wanted to go instead of flying. I was worried, but I was like, I'm going to take a bus. I'm going to take a bus. So, and then I stopped at a city up on Kai, some nothing town halfway through. Yeah. Later, I heard on motorcycle libraries. Oh, really? Yeah, he was like, I'm on Kai. He had this little adventure there. I was like, I've been there. No one's been there. Oh, it's great. That's the beauty of taking the public transportation system. Yeah. Big prison, big prison at up on Kai. A lot of people out there waiting for their loved ones. Oh, seriously? They're waiting for the like horror. You'd say, sometimes they let you go in and just-- To a prison? You could probably tour it. Do you think it's a visiting white guy that would be like, whatever you want? You want to come in? You want to set someone free? Yeah. You choose. I guarantee you, dude. I guarantee you, if you gave the guard like $50 US, he will do the same thing. You could live it. That they're starting to high. I'm saying, but you'll get-- We leave nowhere for negotiation. But you're going to, you don't have to worry then. You'll get right in. You'll get the best treatment. That's true. It would definitely be something that I would look into if I went back there. OK, fair. But I was worried about-- so I stayed one day, halfway out, too. And then I got to-- I got to cruise-girl like two or three days before you. Yeah, yeah. Still just to get ameliorated? Oh, that's the wrong word. Wait, acclimated? Acclimated. Ameliorated? What is that word? What the fuck would that even be? Ameliorated air heart? What would that be? What would ameliorated be? No, I've noticed since you got back, dude. You are-- your brain is like scrambled eggs. I was in a lot of podcasts. You fucking-- I was super stoked on it. It was actually the one thing I did in this whole trip, the whole boom from here to there, and then back up to here. Damn, that's a long way to go. Yeah. Right up to there. I was like, I got to make it to the tip for solstice. You always got to go to the tip. You got to go to the tip, bro. Always. Ameliorated to make better and proved-- Oh, it is a real or a more tolerable situation. I was going to get ameliorated or tolerable. You're close, dude. You're getting real close on these words. You ever hear somebody say a word and then you go, what did you mean exactly? You might not be 100% wrong. Do you have any times I've said a word? And I was like, please don't ask me what this means. Because I just think it sounds right. I'm like a guy who read a lot of books unless you ask him. Give me one detail from that book. And then I go, I can't read it. I can't read, so it doesn't even matter. That's right. I just pick up words that I hear. You just miss it. Because I'm dyslexic, I can't read shit. But Kus, but Machu Picchu, that was the other one. That was like the one that I was like, I got to do this. Yeah, no matter what. If you're there, I mean that's-- But I mean, there's 50 things here to do. Yeah, it's like Igualzu Falls. I'm like, yeah, I'll try. But if I don't make it, I'll make it. Is it one of the seven wonders of the world? Igualzu Falls? No. Well, that might be too, but isn't Machu Picchu-- Man made wonders of the world. Yeah. Let's maybe-- I think God made it. Are Lord to save you, Jesus Christ. I'm so worried about what porn is going to come up here. I'm like, open tabs. What have you been looking at since you got back? Have your taste changed at all? OK, good question. I did notice this. Porn-- got worse. Since you were in the eight months, you've been gone. You're going to put any money into it anymore. There's no good lighting. The storylines are quick. They're just like, as you're fucking, you're my stepmom. What were you watching before you left? High quality stuff, dude. It was, no, I quote. High quality or hidden camera in someone I know's house. Seven new wonders of the world. The new seven wonders of the world. It's got to be Machu Picchu in here, right? Here's the problem. They add-- I thought it was locked in. Boom, Machu Picchu. I thought it was locked in. Boom, I've been to this one too. Yeah, yeah. You've been to Taj Mahal. I've been to Taj Mahal. You had diarrhea there. I was just like, oh, my God. - You're like, no, I live in the Philippines. I have a life, a family. - You're like, prove it, send me a dick dick. - Proof it. - Proof it. (laughs) - Fuck. (laughs) - Dude, you are, it's mess. - Okay, so we're getting acclimated. - Yes. - That word sounds gay. There we go. - We're getting a mealierated up there. - Get a mealierated, nice and a mealierated. - Super hard. - What did we do at Kusko? Kusko was fun though. - Kusko was great. - Gorgeous city. - Yeah, yeah, beautiful. - For someone who's trying to do not, like active stuff while you're trying to get used to it, very hilly. - Yeah, yeah, but it's good because it does get you. And also, what I like is every section has its own thing that they're known for. - What do you mean? - In Kusko, like they had the shoe section, which was just, it was blocks and blocks of just people selling shoes. Then they had the kooey section, which was just guinea pig restaurants. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - So, wait, hold on. - What did you think? - It was like a district. - What did you hold on? Here we go. Here we go. Let's go to the pictures. Ryan, I gotta be honest with you. This is gonna be nominated for maybe best episode and hopefully best pictures. (laughs) - Oh, this one gets, buckle up kids 'cause this one gets a little wild. - So, what did you think of kooey? First of all? - I loved it, dude. I've been looking for in the States. No one's got it. - Tell them what it is. - It's guinea pig. - Yeah. - And you can have it a couple of different ways. You can have it deep fried. - You can have it, I guess, pan fried. What's the other? - Pan-flute. (laughs) - You can definitely have pan-flute. Oh no, oven and fried. - Oh yeah, oven. - Oven and deep fried, right? - Yeah, we went to, I don't know what name of the place was. It doesn't matter. - I ate the teeth off this thing. - You ate everything, yeah. - Oh, it was, dude, it was so good that I got addicted to it. Now I have my own kitty pig. - Do you really? - I think I'm gonna start. These are not, by the way, these are not your fuckin' pet shop guinea pigs. These fuckers are big, dude. Big and-- - They are, and they're so good. We worried about it before you ate it. It's just guinea pig. - Dude, I've eaten pig testicles, cow testicles, sheep testicles, How can I do this where it's actually the whole screen or what are you guys going to do in there if I put it like this would you just isolate it or no yeah we can isolate it and just like show that in the screen yeah if you want to keep it just on that like slideshow mode on the right yeah we can isolate that this one yeah Okay, just make that screen full that one full screen full screen but then I can't leave through shit well it's on the bottom all the icons your mom's in the bottom listen Oh such a contentious relationship here, I mean Hosted producer, she doesn't do anything like just lazy if I want I've heard from her dad. It's not like she's okay Okay, her dad was talking about it. They've been they've been very monogamous for like like decades and decades, but he does say she's always in the bottom Um So wait, this is one wait, this is the fried this is the oven. Yeah, yeah, both of them look at them and I couldn't It that's the thing I kissed them because I loved them both like I couldn't decide which I wanted more And they also come stuffed with potato. There's all kinds of shit inside of them too They split them open and then they fill up. Yeah, look at that. That's the innards. Wow. Oh God, dude, it's for the people who don't have it, we've never had it. You you can't I don't get why they don't serve it here because it would be huge We didn't take a picture of the whole things played out at first, did we? No, we were so excited to dig in we were so excited That was the view from the restaurant unbelievable views from all these restaurants and by the way, this was dirt cheap What's that the view from the restaurant? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, I believe so Yeah, dirt cheap and this is supposed to be it's supposed to be like Like a graduation day or like the day after your wedding special special meal Right, huh people are going there and they're like we've saved up for 15 years to come here and celebrate It was like 25 bucks. We go. Hey bring us a couple more plates like we can't decide biggest both We were such dicks. They were at one point they had Police and riot gear because people were protesting the government and we're just licking ice cream cones watching it going Oh, this is fascinating people are fighting for their lives. Oh, yeah, here's what here's how big Kuya's There is a Painting damn it Oh, yeah, did you get black Jesus? Yeah, hold on how the fuck do you get it back? This is so how many times have you done this show? I've never hooked up up. It's my first time. Oh, you've never hooked up a Laptop I have but listen a lot of this is gonna be on me Do you want do you want a whiff of this? Hey, I got an idea Yeah, it's like it work. What if I drag this over to somewhere there and they just drag the shit just have the preview shit over there I feel bad for you guys you have to edit through all of this shit This is okay. Wait hold on pause for a second. How can we do it where it's easier and we're bad Hey guys a little commercial break Little technical difficulty where were we okay, all right. We're still a we're still in Kusko. We're still in Kusko. Oh, yeah, so Okay, that's okay. Kui Christ is what we're trying to look at Yes, hold on. I got it in the church in the main square in Kusko Yes, is this this is the last supper correct? Yeah, but with With Kui. Yeah, I can zoom in. What are they eating in the original last supper? What are they eating in the original last supper beef Wellington? No, I don't think so. It wasn't for now I think they're eating lots of stuff. I think it's a Passover meal. Oh, okay for real. I do, but anyway in here. They're all eating Kui They're eating the fucking last supper. They're all eating guinea pig and they say it's not guinea pig in that then they say it's for Kunkka or something We're like what's with Kunkka? I don't know like some drama. Oh, like we can clearly see it. No, no that dude. It was a guinea It was a hundred percent the teeth and everything were out. Yeah Guys, I hate to break in I really do especially on this one It's such a good episode, but the reason these guys do this podcast to promote stuff So I got to tell you what to find Ryan or Neil. He's by the way the funniest guy in the world He's the funniest guy in the world You can follow him. Oh my god on Instagram at Ryan or Neil comedy, which you should you definitely should Oh, this has got to slow down because I'm getting nauseous This is a good idea, but in reality I'm getting pretty nauseous looking at these words while I do this Ryan and Neil comedy reach out to him DM them give him a follow by the way puts up clips just stand up clips He's really legitimately only ever been funny never gotten serious never gotten political and man We had such a good time He's also his website Ryan or Neil comedy.com where you can find stand-up dates and sketches his sketches are hilarious his stuff. He did with rent is easy Oh my god, I also podcast slap quest wherever you listen to podcasts and the slap quest patreon for full episodes and bonus content Guys, Ryan and Neil's the best for myself dudes you can now get a spotify premium subscription where you get this podcast one day early. That's right one day early ad free Go to there's a link at the bottom of the screen go to spotify and for four dollars and 99 cents Get every episode of you be chipping one day early and completely ad free You still will get the drops tell you about the guests dude. We had such a good time Me and I knew how it's such a good time on this trip and I'm so glad you guys are part of it It's an instant trippy award nominee for best trip and for best pictures obviously Everybody go follow Ryan or Neil go reach out give him a DM and guys wherever you're listening Um or watching spotify youtube. I think that's it Please subscribe hit the little bell to remind you of new episodes that are coming out because November is travel vlogger month. We got seal on tour. We got sabbatical um small brain american Charles world traveler mic. Okay Rolls-pots guys. It's going to be a great month in November It's Thanksgiving and I'm giving it back to you the listeners with a great month, but first let's get back to part one of this two-part epic episode about me and on Neil's trip To Machu Pichu God bless you goodbye What is that oh yeah luckily Is what cured me That's from my curse you actually oh you met me post curse. I know you met me right after my curse was lifted You sent me to go get on cursed myself when I went to Lima No, I did not yeah, I you know what I thought about it I know what I don't feel like killing a giddy pig just go to the haunted house at least I did go to the haunted house Cool, did you enjoy it? Let me just tell you this for two weeks Are he was trying to sell me on this haunted house in Lima that didn't exist that I knew it didn't I knew it did not exist. Why would I make up a haunted house of all things. Well, I went there. Oh you did Yeah, it was awesome. Oh see so it was one of the best haunted house. I've ever been to Pro-ruled it was cool right away. We saw these weird caves What about that? Oh, yeah in Kusko. Yeah evidently the entire top of Kusko is just Mayan ruins And we were like yeah, if you kept going up there, you would have seen all this. Yeah, it really is just Mayan ruins every not Mayan Inkin inkin yeah, it was just like right we were staying right down there Just like on the first or second house every their ruins right there every highway We went to it was like pull over here to see Inkin ruins and it was just like right next to a gas station Yeah, they were everywhere. Yeah, so that's the that was day one first Way up. Yeah, then walking around the city. What a gorgeous city. It was it was hard to walk It was hard to walk with those with those things also a car will come by randomly and everyone just have to scramble Yeah, that lady would have to pick all her shit up and move. Yeah These indos have it hard, bro It's tough up there. Oh, there was llamas walking hold on. I get one of those. I got one of those This downtown that's us that was you leaving the kui restaurant really? Yeah, yeah, the kui restaurant was like right I think it was like a boat. Oh, yeah, that's it. That's the view right up top. Yeah, yeah, wow Yeah, and then there's a random rally car race You love that dude. You love that. Oh, dude. I literally fucking just in my shorts when I saw it This is crazy the rally car race too was like so I didn't so I'm backpacking for seven months I don't have hiking gear like that. I don't have boots. I didn't like that. Oh, I know You don't have boots. Yeah, so so the cool thing about kusko is you could just get anything for this hike What do you tell about the boots that you got the denalis? Yeah, dude. Don't fuck with the denalis dude What are you talking about? So you you got these. By the way, you could not find shoes Was it either in your size or that weren't completely beat to shit? Um, it was my size. Yeah, and also had a soul And they went they'll wrench. Okay, so they'll rent you boots pretty much whatever you want But you gotta fit into them and then they just don't get new ones It's not like anything American. So it's like like hey, these are really worn down like all right. I'll get you another pair Yeah, but you like there's no shoelaces in this one like all right. I mean something had no souls in them No, some of them where I was like these I would have tossed these out two years ago But you found a beautiful paradise in alleys - And how much were they? - They were $25 for the whole five days. - Okay, and so I used to own a parent in Ollie's. I got it big five for $20. I wore them about seven times and I threw them out 'cause they're the most uncomfortable pieces of shit that I've ever worn in my life. - I think it was these. They said they were waterproof. I was having no luck actually finding them. 'Cause you also need something light. - Yeah. - You need something light. And you're like, I finally found a pair that fit. They're decently, like whatever, they're waterproof. Okay. And you're like, what'd you get? I was like, Denali, 'cause I think I actually didn't even bother returning that pair. I just threw them away. - Yeah, I threw them away 'cause it wasn't worth the gas money to drive 10 minutes to take them back to big five. - They ruled. - You claimed that they were the best shoes ever. - They ruled, bro. I had no problems all my time. And when the water eventually soaked through my shoe, it was soaking through all your shoes too. Don't fuck with Denali's. - You might get a Denali sponsorship. I don't know if they're still in business. - They're probably not. - I think their biggest customer is Peruvian rental shops, because Americans are like, no, dude, when you got those, I did not want to say it, but I was like, I was scared. - You were scared. - I was fucking, I was thought your feet were gonna be destroyed. But you do have a weird gate, you know? Your pigeon toad. - I am. - And so maybe the Denali is the perfect shoe for the pigeon toad man. - Yeah. - They also sold tons of just fake Patagonia stuff everywhere. - And how did you know it was fake? - Well, this one is a real one. I want a fake one. Fake Patagonia from Kuzma. - The real tell about the fake Patagonia was when the label was very crooked. - And also the big never would make a design that cool in their lives. I can't find one. Oh, here. Yeah, they were just so that label onto that. - Yeah, yeah. - And so you're like, that's not only those who have backpacks out the American know. - Yeah, it was just, they would just fake a label and put it on their own, probably better built clothes. - I agree, 'cause I think they were handmade. - They're handmade, bite into. - But yeah, they would, and I don't know if they've ever actually seen where a Patagonia label goes on an actual petagonia. - It would be overlapping the color scheme. (laughing) - That's just not how they would do it. I'm almost positive. - They were in the, they were in the odd, like one was like under the armpit. (laughing) - It was crazy. - I agree, I bet you anything way better quality. - Yeah, yeah. - So there's this rally car race. By the way, people were, there were children, little kids standing, and the car just drives through the car. - There's rally cars right here, so it's like, oh wait. - I have a video on it too. - It's a video, okay. - Yeah, oh, this is the video. - Yeah, everyone's like cheering for them. This is just like a setup shot. - Yeah. - You were in heaven, you love this shot. - Oh, I did, dude. And the guy just drives, it's like, hey, get the fuck out of the way, dude. Little kids were standing. - Some dude selling with my hat, selling my pants. (laughing) Look at this guy. He's selling my hat, he's still trying to get it, he's not putting his fucking pies down. (laughing) He's seeing right over the hood. Yo, dude. He's so stoked. - Oh, look at him. He's so stoked. - Look at him with his whole, it's so many pastries. He just wants to meet the guy who has a car. - Huh. - It's this guy. Dude. (laughing) - I think I bought something from that guy. - He got a support wand. - That's his whole family with him too. He's brought his boy down there. - And those are the steps of the church. Yeah, I just went around trying to find something and you can wrench everything and it's so cool. - I wouldn't, if I were gonna go there, - Bring nothing. - Bring nothing, bring nothing. - You could show up with flip flops and shorts and that's it and you'll be equipped to hike in the coldest conditions. - Yeah. - Rainy, everything, rain pants, the pants roll. - The pants for pants. - Pantroll, also you can sleep when I'm gonna got frigid with cold at night. - Here's the only problem. They did sell us rubber covers for our shoes. - Dude. - Yeah. - And those turned out to be aquariums too. All they would do is gather water. - They gathered water really well. - They would be full to the top with rain water. And so I would recommend staying away from those. - Yeah. - They need like a onesy pair of pants that you could put on. - They also would have these where it is. Oh, damn. Shut up, hold on. I got it. - Do you guys edit out the O-Dams and fuck and then. - Here, these are the gloves they have. These are my favorite gloves that you could have rented. So those are the shoes behind, right? You see all that. - The crazy thing is we weren't going snowboarding and, you know, I don't know if you guys could notice any typos on there. - Can you pronounce that? - Yeah, I tried to shout out everybody. Do you guys see the problem with this? Everyone I showed, they were like, I don't know what it means, snowboard. - No, no, go pronounce it. - Well, first of all, it's only for what kind of snow is it for? Only for the most ex-me show. (laughs) - It's ex-ex-ex-me conditions. - Sunwabour. - Sunwabour. - Sunwabour. I almost got those just because they were not waterproof. So they were like gonna be the worst thing. But I'm like, I want Sunwabour's gloves so bad. I was almost like, can I just buy this from you? So I can have them in the winter when I get home. - They're probably, yeah. I, you should have taken them. They would have taken them. - They would have taken them. - Also, how do you fuck up every single word? Like it seems like it's, I get-- - Every word. - Every word can come from one thing. - Who's gonna sue you? Snow? (laughs) Who's gonna see the people who own the word board? - I've never even seen these gloves. I've never seen snowboard extremes, snow gloves in my entire life. - Yeah, so you get fitted for all this stuff. And then eventually, you're like, all right, let's take off. We got, we had some fun times, whatever. - Yeah. - We got a nice place. - Yeah, we had some good food. - We had some good food. - We saw, we tried to buy an insult. By the way, this is the one thing you can't buy. In Cusco, is insults for your fucking shoes. - Oh, yeah, you couldn't find insults. - Oh, dude, I mean, we searched for-- - We had to find the word for insults. And a lot of people didn't know the Spanish word for it. - No. - But once I found it out the Spanish word, some people who did, I choose stories you would think they would-- - No. - Had no idea. - And then when you told them what it is, like, oh, no, what you said is right. - Yeah. And then I bought three different insults. - Yeah, for like six bucks a week. - Yeah, they were some of the worst insults I've ever. - It's the worst insult I've ever experienced in my life. - You can find anything you need for the hike in Cusco. You do need a search for it. - We have to. - And nobody knows what anybody else has. So it's just shop to shop to shop. - Yeah, and you go in there, you're like, I'll fuck it, I'll take it. Even because you showed up pretty equipped, but then there's still like, there's rain pants here. - I know, fuck, yeah. - You started up selling me at the shops. You go, hey, so get some rain pants. And then we really overloaded. - You're overloaded. - I got multiple ponchos. (laughing) I was wearing a different poncho a day. - That's two ponchos for no reason. - Yeah. - Cusco also has some great markets with juice that you loved. - This is one of them. It's the juice ladies have in a meeting. - Now here's the deal. So we went there to go get more juice. - We want to get more juice. - We got more juice. - The ladies said, you're coming back? I broke, lady, of course you're coming back. This juice ruled. - We went, we got juice. And then we want to go sit over by some other people we knew. And we go, hey, we're gonna take these over there and the lady goes, no, you know, and she goes, I don't, she had a beef with the other juice lady. - So it'll be like this, okay, good. So right here is one juice lady. These are all juice ladies. It's a juice. - All same juice. - They're all selling the same juice. - Yeah, it's crazy. Why would anyone stand out? And then over here, just right across this is another juice lady who hates this juice lady. And so if you have friends over here and you just want to take it from here to there. - No way. - No way. - She literally, we're like, you could see us. We're not gonna steal your glass. We'll give you a deposit. She goes, no, no, no, no, you're not going anywhere near that lady. - You're not going anywhere near it. - It's the juice wars of Cusco. By the way, great reality show. - Juice wars of Cusco. - Just following these ladies on the day-to-day, battle them out on the juice market. - You come back. - And then I have no idea. - I think what they were meeting about was the beef that everybody has with each other. - We gotta end this, guys. - Can we please just come to terms here? - To this episode of You Be Trippin is brought to you by Fabletics. Guys, the holidays are here. Do you have someone in your life that's incredibly difficult to shop for? Maybe your wife or a husband? Or even a child who says, I'm gonna disown you. I'm gonna legally separate my union from you as a parent if you don't get me the right present. They can do that these days. The precedent was set by somebody, probably in America, and now it goes on. They will lose you as a parent. They will go off on their own. They will become independent, do their own thing, maybe they're gonna have an op-star, all because you couldn't find the very present. 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Slash tripping in the discount will automatically apply. Cusco is a gorgeous city. Yeah, if you're not even going to go on the hike, just go to Cusco. Look at that, dude. I know what that is. I know what that is. All right, so let's start the hike. Okay, first of all, you got to find a company. You got to find a company to go with. So you can do groups. You can do the end of like we had. We did a group. We knew three, four people and we're like, cool, let's do that. We got a group and they're like, we might pair you up. It's up to 10. And I was thought it'd be better to have up to 10 because we could make friends. I've done these long hikes before. And I'm the opposite. I don't want to make friends. I don't want to meet any new people. I've met everybody that I want to meet. In life, really? Yeah, yeah, I've done. Wow, yeah. Interesting, okay. And so I did not want to meet new people. I just wanted to be isolated and not have to deal. It's all so fun, but if you get a lot, you can mix up groups. You're walking for five, six, eight hours a day. One day was 11 hours. Yeah. And this is a five day hike. Five day four nights. Yeah. And we kick it off. And so we found a place. Yeah. They were, they were cool. They were cool. And it said also people were like, sometimes there's nobody else. And it'll just be like your group. Yeah. And we're like, all right. But it was about to be that. Yeah. And then right at the end of our orientation meeting. The fucking Neeterlander show up. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Two people. A couple showed up. And they were fucking. Where were they from the Netherlands? I think Netherlands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were first of all. They were not prepared at first. How are we going to refer to these people? Do we just say their names or do we? Yeah, they might watch this. So let's make it. Let's make some other names. I was going to, you know what I was going to start off. Björk, yeah, I do. So let's get some other names. Okay. Björn or Björk? Björn. Björn. Björn. Björn is Susan. Susan? Yeah. Okay. It's about right. Björn and Susan. Yeah. I'm going to tell you guys their real names over there. But you can bleep. Why? Why? So they'll have. Just in case we say it. Okay. No, I guess I would have to say it. Okay. But here's the thing. I don't even remember their real names. So what? Love good. Oh, really? Oh, no, I remember the girl now. Of course you do. Yeah. Of course I do. Of course I do. I'll say. And let's just say the. Her face wasn't the first thing that I remember. You love. What's her name? What's her name? Susan? You want it? Susan. Tom, it's going to be tough, dude. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. Yes, Susan. They might listen to this. Yeah. What did you notice first? Because he's the kind of guy, too. That if he listened to this, he would come to America. I'd fucking fight you. They probably have a kid right now. They were going to have a baby. Yeah. They were trying to make a baby on Machu Picchu. But I'll tell you what. She looked like she was already pregnant. If you don't, I mean. And I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about that. No, no. I'm talking nursing. Yeah, she looked like she was nursing. Nursing, for sure. Yeah. We did notice that. Susan's gloves. Well, they wrote in the back of the MidiVat and you were literally turned around the whole time. Because we were going on those bouncy roads. The bouncy roads, bro. I was like, Susan, you got to get in the back because you can see you. Are you in a mirror? And he was just holding it, looking back. And he hit bumps. I was like, oh, whoa, bouncy bouncy. Like a fucking special force is trying to kill a sniper. You would gum on a metal handle. I paid the guy extra to drive off road. You go, hey, hit that bump. Hit that bump. Every bump, you hit another nickel for you. Change your life. So I think they were also, obviously, we were a tightening group and then they came in. And they, you know, kind of off the bat. We were making some inappropriate jokes. And I think that they were like, who the fuck are these guys? They did not know what to make of you. Yeah. So they didn't know we were comedians. No. And we didn't tell them. No. And Bjorn was so like, what the fuck? A dinner, especially. So O'Neal is a germafob. Fair. I got the spirit. You got the spirit. Yeah. He takes a regular, you know, hand sanitizer can't and just replace it with 100% pure rubbing alcohol. Of course. So when he does a middleman, every one of the restaurant goes, what the fuck is happening? It stinks so bad. It stinks so bad, dude. There's no lavender anywhere in sight. It's never been near lavender. No. No. Why put lavender dilutes the properties of it. But now here's the deal. Yeah. You guys all got on the spritz wagon pretty quick. Yes. So what O'Neal would also do is spritz his silverware before he eats. Yes, always. And Bjorn was just like, what are you doing? He recognized pretty soon that I'd be his friend in this, that I also recognized it was weird. So he'd be like, is that and then he didn't know where comedians, but he started realizing we were funny. And he started kind of joining in. Yeah. Susan was just like, alright, you guys are weird. She's just playing with the gloves. It's just like waiting to be milked. But yeah, after a while, he started figuring out that like we weren't serious about a lot of things that we were saying. And then he would giggle. He was a big ogre too. He had a job offer in America. He's deciding whether or not to take it. And O'Neal was covered. O'Neal was telling him what America's like. But he's only covering like the gun violence. Everything bad. He's trying to have a kid with his chick. And then O'Neal's telling like, no, KKK is there. I mean, you don't see him much, but when I grew up, they were nearby for sure. I was describing my experience growing up in a motel in Indiana. So I was like, yeah, I mean, look, if you go to New York, you go to LA or something, you don't see it. But the middle of the country, you could experience all these things. So yeah, there was a lot of gun talk as I grew up with a lot of guns. My dad was a gun collector. Yeah, the gun's really good. And we also, we experienced a lot of Tom Foolery in our lives. So I was just telling him what my version of America was. He was so frightened of America after that. And then also, there was one time where we were eating. I think at the, I think at the first lodge, you said, I think Ebola, or no, neurovirus. Yeah. Because you can be, it can be airborne. And he looked up, he would not call you on stuff. He was just eating. He looked up like, like that, like, no way. And I just looked at him, I go, just that look of like Ryan just said shit. And he goes, but here's the deal. Neurovirus can be airborne. Shut up. It's airborne if you throw food at someone's face in the air. No, if you walk in after somebody just blasted diarrhea, dude. And you, and you stand over the toilet and you wafed it, you will get sick. And by the way, keep it by where we're staying. Yeah. Do not have full walls. There were different rooms, but they only went, the wall only went up just above your head. So the toilets were all right next to you. This is an important toilet sign we saw. Este modo es puede leveremos. Oh, I'll just read the English. Dear guests, we strongly ask you to vote the paper. To vote the papers in the trash can and not at the rate of the bathroom. Someone had to correct that. Crazy. Put the papers in the trash can. Flush, do not flush down toilet. The lodge was dank. Yeah. It was cold. Hold on, I'll find one. Yeah. They didn't prepare. So cold. So fucking cold. And I couldn't sleep the night before, so I was so dead and I just needed to sleep. Yes. Someone we went with. So they dropped us off at the start of the hike. Boom. And as soon as they dropped us off, someone we were with. They got out of the car and immediately threw up in the parking lot. And we're immediately ill. What's happening? Uh oh. Hey, I think that's my room. Do you think what? I think that's my room. It might be. So that curtain right there is where the toilet is. That's my room. This is your room. That's my room. I just sleep in that bed in the left and there's no boom underneath that cover. There's no sheets There's no sheets at all. It was so fucking cold and all they have was cardboard as the walls. Yeah. Yes, so so we so before okay Before we even left the fellowship of the rings here was six people Yeah, we lost one immediately immediately immediately She was throwing up barfing throwing up diarrhea diarrhea bad the whole thing She was like I don't feel good. I don't feel good. And they're like it might be the she was in Kusko She was like I don't I don't feel great. Can I not sit in the back seat here? Yes, she goes I get car sick I'm like, okay, and I was like you get diarrhea from car sick We had soup the night before we all were fine. Here's the problem with with Mono zoomers revenge You always trace it to one thing and then someone will go but I also eat right off your plate. I know it's it's It's I think it's like she had a suppressed immune system. What does that mean? She had taken steroids because she got an eye infection Right before we left sure Wait off your straw. No, I can make you another cup. Oh, yeah, really of course. Okay, um, so she had an eye infection But also your supposed to share before so she had to take steroids for it and So that suppress your immune system. So I think that's why she got Fucked up and she didn't spritz the silverware enough Which is probably the main cult. Sometimes it's just your showering and your mouth opens just a little bit and Us but did I have been so enjoying America? I was with Edgar and he came to last night's here and we were going for a walk and and I was just laughing out of the bathroom It's like what I'm like. I was just like brushing my teeth with the sink water was such a joy. Isn't it crazy? Yeah Anytime I go to like a third-world country where you can't drink the water When you get back you realize how unreal America is we have one city that you can't drink the water in Flint well, there's a couple. I think there's one. There's a smaller city in Montana where it's contaminated with mining waste They have like one city where you can Medine they're like oh, I didn't know like you can drink the water here It's all over Medine could totally drink the water in the taps. I'm like I'm gonna keep buying bottle water Yeah, you have no choice you have to wash your face with bottled water you have to brush your teeth Oh, here's the most unrealistic scene in fast and furious 5 Rio within the favelas in Rio and And they're like lost where they're on the run. They're being hidden out and she's in a sink She's like watching a face and she's drinking out of the wall I don't like the rest of this movie if this was real is her shivering in a bed Wait, did you see that scene in that restaurant that we were eating at where they had movie night? Do you remember that where it was just clips of transforvers? Oh, yeah, oh That was in before we went to Rainbow Mountain. Yeah, we went to a local. I mean, by the way This was locals only this this was locals always it was people who don't have TVs. Yeah, they're like come to the restaurant It was a Friday night and it was come to the restaurant and watch Clips from YouTube of Transformers and it was like best of Transformers and at first I thought it was the movie and I go These are these scenes are just this seems like completely different. It's a flashback. Yeah, what's going on? So they're just showing action scenes from different transformer movies And then they switched to this I think fast and a furious was next Yeah, they're all way into it too. I guess you know who's cool That's right. We're all thinking the same guy Arnold Schwarzenegger and you know why school? No, it's not cuz he had sex with his maid and had a child with her And raised him as if it was his full-blooded marriage child. No, it's not that at all Even though you could tell who it was. It's cuz it while he was dealing with all these smoke to cigar So Arnold Schwarzenegger smokes the guards. He's one that covers cigar aficionado But how do you get him? You're new to it. If you're a guy, you know, it's cool. And if you're a girl Oh, if you're a girl, you smoke a cigar. Oh, that's hot. Probably what that made it to turn them on But how do you get it? Well, that's for cigars international comes into play they have with the largest selection Unbeatable prices and customer service experience the second and none whether you're new to cigars or a seasoned Aficionado cigars international takes and joins cigars makes them easy approachable and fun and now they're often free everyday shipping on cigars International no co-dominums cigars international the go-to really for all retailer for all things cigars Biggest election. I love gone. Go. He was out of them use my code trippinate check out for 20% off your order of $50 or more or Visit cigars international com www dot cigars international com slash trippin in the discount will automatically apply guys Some exclusions apply, but it's a solid. It's a solid gift and a solid pickup. Let's get back to the episode Oh, they were loving it hold on hold on. Let's let's get going So this is day one, but we lost one immediately and she was like I'll be fine. I'll be fine that she's throwing up Do you remember the guide's name our guide? No, I don't either. He was a young guy and he makes this journey. What do you say? Like 15 times a month. Yeah He does it not it was the most Genuous hike I've ever been on yeah, and he does it all the time So the first day you get to this you get at the start of the hike and they do a practice hike where you go from 12 to 13,000 feet to go see this woman. Who went I like? Yeah, yeah, so you get up there We lost one and the and the hike by the way itself pretty nice beautiful the hike just getting their day one Um, I thought there was a road up there because I kept hearing what sounded like a truck. It was just snow avalanches into the lake Damage that's the beginning. Yeah, I've got it in mind. No, no, this is the lodge. Oh, that's the lodge. Yeah Oh, you got it in yours. Yeah, hold on. I have the lake. I've got a few lake few lake shots Beautiful alpine lake. Yeah, whom untie? So so you get the to the first lodge and they're like And they're like And also so you can also they drive your supplies up there. They'll drive your you have a day pack they give you They take your regular pack take it from location location. Oh look. You got a lot of photos So this is the this is from the lodge. This is the view from the so down that hallway is This room. Yeah, and the cardboard walls which by the way you can hear everybody and so this must be at the end actually because that one has a That has a yeah, yeah, because you can see the outside It has a full It has a full wall up the rest of them dealt so that was not my room. Oh, it might have been my room. Yeah Three bedrooms and always and and I used all the blankets from all the beds. Yes, it was so fucking I had to sleep in a separate bed because look how gorgeous this is though, but and it was rainy and 40 probably 42 43 yeah, and You could and let's just think you could feel the you could feel the wind It was pretty bad as the view from there, but I loved it Also, they made us a meal that they like he made us a meal it was so fucking cool This is like that he was like this is how we cook it's Stones hot stones buried and then covered with grass. Yeah, so this guy is he's our guide and he Don't show that one and so he is how we did it start with this one Yeah, you put a bunch of hot stones on the fire get him hot. It was vegetables. Mm-hmm meat. By the way, no seasoning No seasoning. There was no seasoning on it and they tasted So I would just do it like this just whatever, but then you start covering it up. Yeah covers it up with hay Then puts a tarp on it and then covers that up with dirt. Yeah, and it's just smoking in the ground. Yes It's and it was some of the best food. I by the way the Peruvian food was some of the best food I've had This is the hike this is the beginning of the hike It was it's one of the best underrated foods. There is yeah, hold on. Let me get this for you the first sip is going to be Pre-be did you wash this straw before? I have okay, you sure I'm not sure, but I'm positive let me spritz it spritz it you may as well spritz it So this is just close up here This is just every fucking meal at every place we go Hold on I've not done yet, dude We always bring some paper towels don't go careful careful careful because it's dug in there So you can't you got a big real real soft with it real soft with it Okay, okay There we go. All right, it's been spritzed Okay, it's been spritz. You're good. Take a sip of that. It's gonna be I would describe it hot. It's warm Ooh very earthy earthy is the word earthy is very earthy. Yeah earthy is the word. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's different brands are different brands I mean this is Rosamonte one of the best brands Did you bring that back with you? Did you buy that? Yeah, I got that here. Okay, let's play a detail. That's like standard standard Okay, anyway the hike was fucking great the hike was really cool. Here's two dogs that were at the lodge. Yeah, cute dogs a lot of cool dogs in this trip We ended up eating those dogs eating one because they were short on food So okay also altitude is a problem out so you go this first hike We lost one right at the beginning. She was like I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine The guy was like okay, and then she started barfing and then the guys like the guys like hey, no way. Yep You know I had hope I was like if you can keep down dinner. Yeah then I think you could, 'cause I wanted her to go. - And I was like, take the pill right now as fast as possible. You got to keep it down for two hours. - Wait, like plan B? - Yeah. - You're also, you might be pregnant. - You might be pregnant as well. Both of those are going away. Your food poisoning and your baby. - Yeah, because we had the Z-pack. So antibiotics, but you made a good point. You go look and maybe, have you told your story about puking up the antibiotic when you were in Thailand? - Yeah, oh no, I'm not. - Okay, so if you take the Z-pack, you always have to keep it down for a certain amount of time for the work. - Try to pack, yeah. - If you don't, you're just gonna puke it back up. - And if you're at the point where a sip like that would just make you barf, then how do you keep it down? - Yeah. - So I was in, no, it was me and Mar. It was at a fucking, nothing place in me and Mar. Like where no tourists even go disgusting. And I had to go to a shit squat toilet, which was just two pads on the floor with a little hole. And I was shitting and barfing, shitting and barfing. And I was like, I think I'm okay, and I had it, and then I had to go throw it up, and I had to pick it out of there. - Oh, God, oh, good thing your Auree should fear, 'cause you're like, this actually doesn't bother me that much. - So I was like, you gotta keep it down for two hours. So as soon as you feel it might be common, just take the fucking thing. But because once you start barfing, you're not keeping it. So she was like, okay, so the guy was like, I left two, by the way, it was like, you're on your own. There's the path, pretty much here. And then he's just like, go, you'll find it. - Yeah. He's like, when you go up and then take a left. And then what, and then take a left, and you're like, where are you? - And the left was four hours away. So you have no idea where to go. So anyway, so you're just there, and we're gonna meet that one chick there. So she came and we're like, all right, if you're over your food poisoning by then, you're fine. - Yeah, yeah. So then she had to pay, she had to pay. - What? Oh, nice. - She had to pay a lot of money to have a car takeer like on a six or seven hour journey to get to our next destination. - Yeah, there's the dogs what we're cooking. There's, - What, I don't remember his name. - I don't remember his name. - Nice kid. - He was so nice, and you know what's interesting about him? He said, he didn't want kids, which is surprising for like a villager. - Yeah. - And I go, why? And he goes, it's just expensive these days. - Yeah. - It was, it was pretty interesting. It was like pretty like, forward thinking from a villager and Peru. - He was like 28 or 29, and he said his knees are shot. - 'Cause he likes, - I know. - So I'm gonna try, so yeah, he puts all that shit down. It's so fucking cool. And he puts those pots on. And look at the viewer we're cooking. - Oh, I know. - This is shit dude that you would pay like thousands of dollars to get, and it was just our meal on day one. - Yes, and the whole thing only costs 360 each, for five days. - 360 each, that's how much it was? - Yeah, yeah. This includes everything. - Wow. - All the foods, all the stuff. - Look at that guy, look at him. - He was a good, he was a good large dog. He liked me. - He was, he was delicious. (laughing) - Look at that face. - No, don't show, okay, yeah, and they covers it up. It was so fucking good, and the best thing was. So, was this before or after the Huma Thai Lake that we ate? - We had dinner afterwards. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. - So first there's a tester hike. - Yes. - So they go, okay, you've made this hike. You're at altitude. We're gonna go pretty strenuous uphill hike to this beautiful glacial lake. - It was a couple hours. - Yeah. - So from like 12 to like 13, 5 or something? - And they go, if you can't handle this, we're gonna bring an extra rescue horse with you. - Yeah. - If you have trouble with this. If you're fine, we're just gonna bring one rescue horse. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Now right then, Susan started going, I feel weird. - Yes. - I feel really bad. And she started getting like, lightheaded, and she had altitude poisoning. - Yep. - And she's like, what is this? And we kept looking it up. - Because those boobies were taking up so much oxygen. - The boobies took a lot of oxygen. - They were sucking it up, dude. (laughing) - So I'm sorry. - So she was like, well, let me go on this Human Thai Lake hike. And then we was just going up and coming back. And it was like, hey, I'm just telling you, everything on here says, do nothing strenuous. Actually, go downhill. - Go downhill. Or stay where you are. - Stay where you are. - We're not increased out. - You're gonna go more strenuous. - Yes. - And altitude. And she goes, I feel fine now. It's totally not a big deal. Okay. - Well, spoiler alert. It was a problem. - And she was not fine at all. Now we're eating the candies too. We're all eating the-- - Coco candies. - Yeah, yeah. - Coco leaf. We're having Coco, he and I are having Coco leaf tea all day every day. - There they are, resting. - You'd have to rest, you back would hurt. - That's them on their way. I was looking down. So the lodge is further back. It's like there, somewhere in there. And Human Thai is back behind. - This sun now, this sun quickly goes away and now a thunder storm rolls in. - At Human Thai? - Yeah, you remember that when the thunder and I was like, I'm gonna head down now. - You get the fuck outta here. Check this out. - Yes. - My favorite. Slow mo, gotta love a slow mo, skip. - By the way, there was an avalanche on that glacier. - Yeah, yeah, it kept happening. - It kept happening. - The sound was crazy. - This is how these don't even army fights. - They skip rocks at their enemies. One. Two, okay I got it. - Big skip. - Big skip, three. I could do better. And you know how I know I could do better. - 'Cause you do it again and you do better. - No. 'Cause look at this disappointment. Owning up to it. (laughing) - I blame the outfit, dude. - It's harder to skip at high altitude. - Nice. (laughing) - And we're back in. I got to say this episode of "You Be Chippin'" is brought to you by Andy. Without Andy, this is gonna run over. We put up "You Be Chippin' Stickers." - Yeah. - That was fun. - In Kusko, you put one up when the cop turned his back on a statue of Tupac. - Tupac, I'm a Roo. - Yeah, not the rapper. - Yeah, that's right. We did one. Look at that. Guys, come on, put 'em in weird places. If you wanna get your "You Be Chippin' Stickers," get it right now with the bottom of the screen. And boom, right there. Pretty fucking cool. Okay, so that's day one. - Yeah. - It was all fine. Then, so the food poisoning lady came back. She wasn't feeling it. - Wasn't feeling it. - Susan went up, came back, started barfing. - Yep. - Immediately started barfing. It is so hard not to say I told you so. - Yeah. - I'm on, when you definitely told them so. - Especially when they're foreigners. - I'm an American. Of course, I'm gonna do it right. - Yes. - Okay, that's it in pre-sickness. - But, so, she was like. - She just came back and said, "I feel great. I was glad I did it." - Okay. - Yeah, and then I heard her barfing downstairs and I go, "Well, something's. " So, then she's like, "No, no, I'll be fine." - "I'll be fine." - I can go on the hike. Now, the hike tomorrow is the most strenuous part. You go up to 15,100 feet. - And it is. - How many meters is that? - Uh, 4,400. - Okay. - Something like that. - Yeah. - Um, so. - It's straight up hill. The ox is getting less and less and less and less and less. And she's like, "I'm gonna be fine." - This is the worst part of the hike. Because this is a long day. It's 11 miles. - It's 11 miles, but a straight up hill on rocks. - And then downhill for like another eight hours. - Yeah. - And by the way, when I'm popping candies like a motherfucker on the way up. - And these are the coconuts. This is day one still. This is the way to the lodge. Look how fun. It would go from hot to cold to beautiful views to cloudy. Like in five seconds, and then rain. - And then snow. - And then snow. - And then, yeah, very unpredictable weather. Ah, so we're popping candies the whole way on the way up. - It's gorgeous. Yeah, popping those coca candies. - I have a picture of a dead horse in there. - You got the dead horse picture? - Yeah, yeah. I didn't see it. - I didn't see it. - I didn't see it. - So this is us kicking off. But so the guy follows us with a horse. Okay, so the two Bjorn and Susan. Susan goes on the car with these other sick person. - Yeah. - And Bjorn decides to take a horse up. - Yes. - He does not walk in. - So Susan, oh, this is just a racist statue you saw. - That's a statue. - It was exactly to lure people into their restaurant. - It's just a super racist. We were just like, what is this? What did they have? - It was an ad for their, it was evidently their mascot. But yeah, it is bad news. - I heard so much time. - This is the human. - So that snow would just start crumbling. - Yeah. - It was so loud. - It was so loud. - Sound like a dump truck. - I mean, I'm just remembering this. How fucking gorgeous it was. - Yeah, I mean, this is all, and keep it, but these peaks are like, some of the ones we went by were 20, 22,000 feet, the top of the mountain. - It's just a magical place. - It was sunny when we got there, and then literally a thunderstorm rolled in, and then it started raining, and then it was, we're like, we gotta get the fuck out. - So this is now the start of the second day. I remember this Tienda, I bought four eggs from the guy. (laughing) That's four, but I gave one to the guy. As I go on an egg, he goes, "No one has ever treated me with this kindness." (laughing) - And then I spit on him and he goes, Thank you for putting me in my place. - Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. - So this is on the way up. - Where's the dead horse? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, go down. There it is, go back. It's right there to the left by that rock. - Oh my God, I cannot do it. - So a horse just fell and they leave it there because there's no way. - I left it there for dead. You guys can zoom in there later. - It's directly with the arrow. - It's right here, it's right here. I saw the dead horse. I told anybody else to look away. It was just a dead horse with like carrying it and come and pick the added a little bit. - And they also have these huge condors. - Yeah. - Andy and condors. - Andy and condors. - Andy and condors, yeah. And so they go, there's no way to get that out of there. It just slipped and fell and then it's also a bit of a wake up call where you're like, well, there's no one helping you here. You're not getting airlifted out of there. And so this is kind of the-- - So Bjorn, okay, so we had to talk, I mean, the talk to both those girls, that you can't come, took and I just wanted to sleep. I didn't sleep at all the night before. Like literally at all, I just couldn't sleep. I was nervous or whatever. - I was free, dude. - No, not the lodge night. I mean, the last night in Kusko, I got zero sleep. And I was like, bro, I have got to get to sleep. I've got to get eight or nine hours. I'm dead and this is the most extremely was hike we're going on. - Did the garlic help you? Because I was feeding you guys raw garlic to ward off bad spirits. - Bro, only crushes garlics, says let it simmer for 30 seconds. - No, no, no, 10 minutes, you chop it, you smash it, you get the juices and you let it go for 10 minutes. - It burns your stomach. - Yeah, it kept me up for sure. It kept, it was working, I was like, how? - You did not, did you feel better? You do feel better and it also keeps you from getting sick. - I didn't get sick. - I didn't get sick. Anyway, so these two girls want to come. They're not eating. So it's like, you're not throwing up. They're throwing up all night long. You hear barfing and just having to translate. They're like, well, we can send a car for you. It's going to cost this and they're just trying to upsell us. They're not trying to upsell us. You just can't come. It's the most strenuous hike and they go, I want to go. And then Bjorn goes, do you want me to not go with you? And you can see as soon as he's out of his mouth, he goes, oh, fuck. Why did I say that? I just want, of course you go alone. And she goes, no, I don't want you to miss it too. And he's like, he was so stoked. - Yep. - Here's a probably another UV chip in sign on this sign. - Also, I was so mad that night 'cause I had to sleep in a different bed, but there's no sheets, no nothing. I took a shower, which was one of the coldest things. By the way, there's electrical wires hanging in the shower. - Suicide showers. - Fair wires. - Suicide showers. - Yeah. - If you get too close to them, they do electrocute you a little bit. - They do. - It's all over Latin America, sometimes in Asia too. They're called suicide showers. And they're built for people that are five, six or below. I'm over six feet, and so you're real close to them. - Yes. - And as you get closer, it's not a quick, full shock. It's like, you feel it. - And I always bring a metal hiking stick in the shower for support, so it made it actually even worse. - So this is the top of self-contact. I'll tell you, as we went up. - By the way, I thought that this shack had something in it. No, just people were taking dumps on the ground inside there. There's no real toilet. I think it used to be a shop. - What? - What the fuck's getting up in the morning to go work at? - To go. - They're like, yeah, I mean, we should just close this down. But there was nothing but garbage and literally toilet paper on the ground in there. So this is kind of like a midpoint resting area. I met some young ladies there who I actually ended up seeing the rest of the time. - You went ahead, pretty hard. You were just one of them. - I felt good. - I did not feel as good. And I told some people this before, but when we got to about 20 minutes from the top, I started hallucinating. You told me that. - Yeah. - I have a video, I didn't include it. There's a video of you coming up the last part and I'm cheering you on and you look like you're like on a mushroom trip and you're absolutely exhausted. - It was great. The air gets thinner and it's so strenuous and there's just no oxygen. - Yes, and this is 15,088 feet. - Hold on. Wait, wasn't there a sign? - There was, you know, the funny thing is, - Boom, that one. - No, no, that's the midpoint. It goes-- - That's midpoint. - See that trail right there and that? - 4500 meters. - When you go up into the clouds. - That's it, yeah. - So for some reason, none of us got a picture of the fucking actual sign. - No, we did. - At the very top. - There was 'cause we were up there. Hold on, hold on. Salk into our day, sitting up. - Maybe you took it. I looked, I did not have any-- - This is us setting off again. There's the bodega. That's so we're just heading up through that. And they're pretty much just like, go. - Yeah, go for that. - And we had to delay 'cause the stupid fucking girls. - By the way, the delay now will play-- - Okay, so-- - No, no, that's later, that's later, that's later. - The delay is a big issue and that will come into play here in a minute. People stopped and asked if we wanted to fuck that horse. - They did stop and asked if we wanted to fuck that horse. - There was a guy literally goes, "Fuck the horse, "take a break, fuck the horse." - Boom, that's the top. - Oh, there it is, okay, okay. - That's the top. - There's a sticker up there. - Yeah, and now can we read it? It's like, whatever. - Six, seven. - Five thousand. It's fourth-- - It's altitude, something it's covered up at the sticker. - 15,088 feet. - 56, 30 meters. You would always go, "Hey, how many feet is that?" And you'd ask a guy from the Netherlands, like, "How many feet is that?" And he goes, "I don't know. "It's written in meters and I don't know what feet are." Why would you ask? And you're like, "Oh, here's the conversion." And he's like, "Then do it yourself." I don't know, just learn meters. I compare meters to it, I'll go, "Oh, this one's 6,200 meters. "This one's 6,100." So what's the difference? 100 meters. - I became obsessed with conversions the entire time. - So I've never seen someone more autistic. Every single one you gotta do the math, here we are. (laughing) Right there. - That was just kissing, celebrating, thank you. - Celebrating a job. Well done, look at those denolies. You can barely see, dry. (laughing) Dude, I can't even believe you wore those. If you have regular feet, your feet will get fucked up with denolies. That should be their slogan. - There's less at the top. What? Oh, here we go. Boom. (laughing) - Way to desecrate an agent, hike. (laughing) - It's leading now, by the way, now we have like-- - We get to the top, it was pretty good. And not really raining. - Yeah, the very top was leading up there. - Sleeting. We're late. We're the last group up to the top. - Yeah. - We started late. I heard that some people started 4 a.m. We got going around 6'40. - 'Cause the guys, come on guys, come on, come on. Let's go, let's go. And the girls wanna kiss goodbye. They wanna like, okay, well, just get in the fucking car. - Yeah. - Meet us tonight. - Yes. - She did not wanna be talked out of it. Susan was like, I can do it. Like, there's no way. It was just a question of like, the guy came up and go like, you know, I don't know. I gotta talk to the bus. You're not going, I just can't tell you're not going. You have to come to it on your own. - There'd be zero way to make this. 'Cause this is a tough one. - Yeah. - And then I almost got up there at the same time, the horse did. - Yeah, so they took Bjorn up. He goes, I'm feeling out through two. I'll meet you at the top and just hike down. - Yeah. And there were ponies and he was a big Norwegian ogre. - Yeah. - So he looked, it looked funny. It was an odd look. This is pretty much the top looking down. - Yeah, this is one of the parts. Yeah, yeah, this is them we're going down now. So I mean, these views were everywhere. - They were epic. I mean, we thought that also once we got to the top, hey, easy breezy on the way down. Well, turns out the down part may be the hardest part. The hardest part by far. First of all, I gave you one of these for the first time. - Yes, oh God, they were so good. - Remember what it's called? - No. - Grenadinea. - That's dude, they were so good. - My favorite fruit. A lot of people don't have a favorite fruit. I do. Grenadinea. - Describe it. - So you peel, it's like hard. You crack it like a hard boiled egg. - So it's already like wild. - Yes. Then you peel it and then the inside is gelatinous. - Uh huh. - And you basically go in there and you just suck it. You just suck it out and it is-- - It's like bugery. - Yes. - Texture. - But it's almost like passion fruity. - It's in a passion fruit family for sure. - And it is unbelievably good. - So good. - Yeah. - And then when you're up here, it doesn't grow up in the mountains like this. - No. - It's just like, it's so, it just gives you energy. Oh. - And it revitalizes you. And the, everything about it is amazing. - Yeah. - What a fucking trip this was. - Okay. - So we go down. - So we go down. Time for lunch. - This guy has to walk up and then down. - Back up. - Back up. - Yeah. - This is what he does every night. He goes up and down it. And so this is like all the way up was half of it. And then about three hours down. - Yeah. - Cooks us lunch. And then goes right back up. - And he has a horse with him. - Yeah. - And I think he rides the horse up, but you can't ride the horse down. - Can't ride the horse down. So he's got to lead the horse down. Then he's got to get to the top on the horse and then walk the horse back down. Does it every day? This fucking lunch dog, that lunch dog was sick, came and pissed right next to where we were eating. - Yes. - That is true. By the way, this guy said he was six four. - Who? - Shut up. - Shut up. This is our lunch. It was just a lot of tea. - He carried this with him. - He carried it all. - We had rice and we had fucking chicken. It was crazy and it was amazing. - This is the hot where we had it. - There is one of my pops. There's one of your ponchos you got one on. That's right. And they had this one too. Mine's hanging It's the white one I think I look like the guys from 12 monkeys Yeah Yeah, this is so it's just a shanty and it's raining but the food is warm. We've got water Oh, we also there's a little shop over here. That's our spot. Yeah, where they watched me Yeah, oh yeah, so I had gloves so I had gloves for the sun, but I also had warm gloves and oh I had rubber gloves So I got those I had there's there were so retarded, but did they not get you wearing dish gloves So I had yellow rubber gloves because I came up with this idea that if it rains our regular gloves are gonna get wet So we should put our regular gloves inside rubber. You can see my rubber dish gloves right there. Oh, there they are Yep, yep, and so these people in the shop What after we set off from lunch? They gathered around to see what was happening They were looking at you putting on dish gloves to go on a hike and they're like what they're just eating to coca leaves Just snacking on it. Yeah big bag of it and and then I I put them in and I put the the Sleaves of the underneath rain jacket over them and my hands never got wet once Yeah, one of the greatest invent those are my sun gloves those your sun gloves. There's a big J gloves. Yeah, sorry Okay, these are two good boys at at lunch So the second guy came around I was feeding the first guy the second guy was very interested had to be calmed out But eventually he got pretty calm. He was eating out of my hand Peruvian movie dog Look at those fucking dish gloves Fucking door you're all tucked in This is like your does like a virus spreading and you're like completely covered You look like this guy reaching through the bubble to fucking feed the fucking retard kid But I knew That it was gonna be wet for a long time. I wanted to stay dry and it was also very cold It's also very cold and I know a lot of people that were like I'm very wet and I was like I am not I'm very dry Yeah, fair so I have leather Regular gloves on underneath underneath that they stared at you like what they're just looking at us. We're like hello What is this? And they're just like we're not talking to you They still tell the tale of the white man with the yellow gloves the walk down up until lunch was beautiful He actually wasn't raining and stuff when you had the grenadine. Yeah, it was like really great lunch fine And then it just started jizzling at lunch it overlooked a valley. There was sheep So okay, so you guys we're like let's go to the edge you guys are ahead I'm back because I took me a while to get my gloves on and I think when I catch up to you you guys are standing on this thing Now let me tell people what's underneath it? So underneath it is nothing. This is a Overhang and I swear to God do like that if you go about 10 feet behind you guys is where there's actual Solid rock and dirt you Stomped and I could feel it the whole thing sure you can see over there where all of it has eroded It was even worse on this side because I saw it from another angle where you could look in yeah And you guys are like hey, this is cool, and I was like hey you guys might want to get off of there We're like trying to look over the edge. It's just grass and it's hundreds of feet down to a river I mean, I was like what the fuck are you guys doing? Yeah, it was a risk the stopping though was the most disturbing because you're like You felt how fragile it all was that could have gone it anyway So when you do this hike to they just like go here's the directions to the next place, and then the guide I'm done with you. He pretty much dropped us off. Yeah, that's the last time we saw it The first night and then I launched the second day, and then he's like I'll never see you again in my life. Yeah And then he goes just find the thing and we're like well, how will we know he goes? Well, it's marked and then you find out. It's not really marked at all. It's not really marked We also ran into some donkeys here that we're blocking the road, but with their rear pointed towards us We were trying to get by them without them kicking us. It was downtown. Okay, here we go So this is the this is like where I start hallucinating right kind of there That's the humanity. Yeah boom boom boom Yeah, you said you were you said that last 20 was tough. Yeah, and so every once in a while it would peak out You would just see a peek out of the of the past. Yes, because the clouds would just eat it up and you didn't realize how fucking high Those peaks how much zinc you have on dude. It's cloudy. It was the fuck bro, bro. You love some block, right? No, so here's the problem with sunscreen Big sunscreen. That's how they get you Who can find the you'd be tripping sticker in there? By the way, if you find one of the you'd be tripping stickers that I put out I mean you're never gonna find it, but they're all over Latin America to free tickets to any show in 2027 Just look on this fucking sign. There's multiple sign go to the song. Here's a clue and the one at the top two Let's take them up yourself tag the you be tripping pod Instagram and they'll repost you. There's the dump lodge There's the top so that and then here's our way down. We were literally the last people. We were the last people up We were the last people up. So we had some nice pictures. Yeah, and there was no one behind us and then you start real like right Oh, yeah, we stop for some bus stop for a little bit of butt fucking. By the way, what a beautiful view to butt fuck not the last butt fucking Oh, no dude. There's some butt fucking going on Okay, this is the next day. This is where it starts getting a little swampy. It was this the same day. Yeah, this is cloud forest now We've entered right we've gone into the cloud forest and the water now is starting to get it's we every step was difficult It's all mud and then you start getting little rivers flowing down. Yeah, and then you start going. Hey, this has been a We've been on this trail for a long time and we're not even close. We're not even close We're just like where's the end there it goes. That's that hat. Do you remember when we got further down and there was that man in the woods? Oh, yeah, the witch. Yeah, he comes out of a shanty. I mean nowhere. He's nowhere. He's nowhere There's yeah, it just comes out and he goes in Spanish. He asked what time it's okay, but in like that he goes Yeah, and then we told him it's like what And we're like no, oh, by the way, he had teeth that kept falling out every time he opened his mouth to see him push him back in push him back in We're like Quattro eventé And he goes And it was like Quattro eventé four four it's like four 20 Quattro and like they were like, yeah Quattro eventé and he's like And then we started getting a little freaked out. I think Yeah, because he was in the middle of nowhere. We had not seen it. It was like this he's walking down this and then somebody just pops kind of out. Yes Just which dude mail which and then we walked another hour and then he popped out again Later way away. How did he get ahead of us? He's so old You know what I think it was I think he was trying to get us to give him one of these. I think he was saying It's 420 bro You guys want to smoke what time is it we're like 420 goes right? You want to blaze? What time is this tough to get weed up here, bro? Where do we at? He's a equivalent of like an old hippie guy in America. It's like on a board walk on Hey, you want to get high? What is this place? So this is when we go walk up to the Those last cabins that overlooked Machu Pichu. Oh, this is cabins. So we go we go no, no, no, no We got another day. Yeah, yeah, first we went so we first have to make it down first. We got him Okay, we're way ahead way ahead. Okay, so from here it gets started getting very late Yeah, and the rain picks up. Yeah, so we have to meet somebody at what four o'clock or something was that? Uh-huh, so we get down there and the guy and it's now like four I guess he was only supposed to stay to like four or four and he was like what the fuck you guys? Yeah, oh, that's after lunch lunch. He was like dude guys start moving. Yes, start moving because we were already Sam bagging it we're Sam bagging it because they were also like everywhere he told us like don't rush enjoy your time Yes, we were enjoying the views having a grenadine up in the mountains. We were taking pictures Stopping on that over looks eating grenadine is and so we did whatever one said they're like look You're probably not gonna do this again. So really take it in so we took it in took us 11 hours To get to meet the guy who was supposed to take us to our next place where we're staying and when we got there The guy was very worried he goes we because I go let me take a piss and he's like no, no get in the fucking car now So yeah, we're going down he I get there first with Bjorn Yeah, and the guy's like you got let's go and I was like oh they're all back there lolly gagging yes the other two And I was like guys guys move and you're like okay like weird. We're here. Yeah, we're gonna just sell my town or whatever and We don't be pictured this and you go all right let me just take a piss and the guy goes pitch that off getting the card now Yes, he was nervous. He was nervous and I was like what is happening here? And I don't speak any Spanish. I barely speak English So we found out passionate but he goes I was about to leave you guys he goes We're not going to be able to get out of here because they're landslides everywhere. It rained early than it should have and the road Okay, so these are the days in November this it's raining in October. This never happens He goes like pretty much like weather's colky these days. Yeah We got gotta get out of here. - And these are those Peruvian roads that you see in the TV shows about dangerous roads. The one where it is just carved into the side of a mountain. It's one lane wide. - It's from like a video game. - Yes. And then it's just a 500 foot drop down into a valley. - Uh huh. - Nothing, by the way. - Go guard rails. - It's this much before the wheels go over there. That's it. And I thought, I had no idea that we still had to drive down a mountain. - I thought we were there. - Yeah, I thought. - No, no, we're it's like, 'cause I'm a road, it's always like. - It's 40 minutes on a car. - The waterfalls that would go over the road. - Yeah. - It would just be like, so the road was like this. You would see waterfall hitting the road. Now there's a river of unknown depth. - Yes. - And then falls off a cliff. We hit two of those. - Two of those. He'd stop. He'd be like, "Hey guys, be quiet, please." In Spanish. And he'd stop and he'd put his brights on. And just kinda like look, he's like, fuck. Looking at like angles. And then he'd be like, "Gun it." - And there was a legitimate river flowing. And then it, by the way, you look over outside. It was just a sheer cliff rock. - I was on the left side. And you look over and you can't see road. You just see drop. - It was. And then remember when he's another guy was stopped, 'cause an avalanche with rocks had covered the road. And it turned out it was his cousin. - His cousin, just an epinto. - And his cousin goes, how do I, what do I do man? How do I get it? - 'Cause you can't go back. - You can't go back. - Turn around. And he goes, dude, you just have to floor it and just fucking hit it hard. - Yeah. - And so he did. - He did. - And the guy's like, he's rookie. - And then we, and then we did. And we were like, "Oh fuck." And then it's like listing to the side. - It's moving with the water, for sure. - You could feel the water hitting the wheels. And then after we got over it, his cousin had stopped and his cousin was like, "Dude, that was fucked." - Then it was like, "That was fucked." - Yeah. - He told us about some guys who got stopped there, who got like trapped. And then they were like, they're on the other side of the thing, we can't get them. And then one of the guys on one group hike would go, "Hey, they're stuck there." From another hike, he goes, "Yeah." He goes, "I just got out of the Israeli army. I'm training, I can help those people." - Oh yeah. - And he shimmyed across a rope, across a giant ravine, got him one by one out. - That's crazy. - Yeah. Except there was one Palestinian, he's like, you're not coming. He goes, he fell. - He fell. - He accidentally tripped. - You know how they are. - Very clumsy. - Yeah, it was wild. And then we got, eventually, he was like, we're good now guys, you can start laughing again. - Yeah, 'cause we were not laughing at all. It was actually-- - You could feel his worry. - Yes. And these, I'm telling you, these roads are like, by the way, I actually, I was like, I hope we go on these roads. And then what we got on on my, I was like, I hope we get off these roads. 'Cause I wanted to experience them, but not in the-- - I like that. - Circumstances that they were in. - Not like that. - Yeah, yeah. - So then we got to our other place where it was like a coffee maker place. It was very nice. - I think I'll tell these guys one thirty. - What time? Yeah, we're fucking Jesus dude. We're not even close to the climax of this whole adventure. - Yeah. Okay. So we get there. It's a coffee plantation. - Yeah. - We have a nice meal. - Great. - This meal I think. Damn it. - Ah. - Fuck. - How do you keep losing it? - How do I keep it? - Oh, you got to just hit the arrows, dude. - I know, but it was going small for some reason. There we go. - Yeah, this is like breakfast. Look at all these avocados. They don't even get-- - They don't even get fresh avocados. - There's so good. - There's so many avocados as you want. The dinner was amazing. - It took us a little tour of their plantation. - We met the two sickies. They came back. They got there early. They're feeling better now. It's a lower elevation. Okay, so we're there. They show us how to make coffee. Then we have the coffee. - Yeah, the coffee. In a really weird thing where it's like the slow pull. - Yeah. - Oh, no, they show us how to roast the coffee. - And we saw it. Yeah, we had the coffee that we literally just made. - We picked stuff off a thing. - Wasn't it syrupy and then you mix in the hot water? - Yeah, so they do this thing with, I got one. I took it home, so I'll make it. It's a boy when I see you next. Thank you. It's working. Yeah, you pour the water and it goes real slow. You see it bubbling up and then it goes down like this fast. And it makes this like coffee syrup that you then have to add hot water to to make a cup of coffee. - It was probably the best coffee I've ever had. - And we had that in between Rainbow Mountain. Oh, fuck, we got a lot of shit to do. - I know. - All right, let's keep going. - We might have to come back. - Oh, fuck. - Well, 'cause we're not even, I mean. - We're not even close. - This is a, yeah. - No, we're not, we haven't even gotten to the sky. We haven't even gotten to Machu Picchu. - Oh my God. - I mean, that's what I was like. Even when you said three hours, I was like, this could be longer than that. - We're gonna come back tomorrow. - Okay. - We're gonna come back tomorrow up to Rosa and finish off. Let's just keep going as far as we can. - Okay, okay. - Yeah, there's no way. - There's no way at all. - Yeah. - I thought for sure, this is probably gonna be four hours because there's gonna be an hour of just the end. - Yeah. - Because it was. - Okay, let me pause, everybody listen right now. The end is our last day was the wildest day. - Yeah. - So don't tune out yet or fast forward to the end. Someone will write a timestamp. There's somebody who does timestamps. - Yeah. - Yeah, mark that as the rainbow mountain. - This story builds with several. - There's layers to it. - Then we didn't think. - You got it. There was a part where. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't jump. - I'm not, I'm just saying there were two of us what? - There was a very life threatening incident for the two of us at one point. - Do you mean me? - No. - All right. - Do you remember? - Yes, yes. - Okay. - Hold on, hold on. Okay, day two. We wake up, we do a little coffee tour. No, day two is a soccer and tie pass. - Yeah, yeah. - And then when we get to this place, the guys are nice, him and his wife. They only have one kid. - I was so tired. - Why they only have one kid? They go, it's too expensive. - Yep. - Like wow. - Yep. - It's wild. And by the way, this tour that we're doing, it's set up by like 25 different families. They all got together. Each one of them hosts a group of travelers at their place. They cook. They have like a little experience that they give you. But each one of them gets paid off of what you pay. And there's different groups. - There's one that's more like, we give most of the money to the families. There's others like, we take the money, we give them pens and we try to find one that was like. - This one gives splits the money amongst the families. And they're locals and-- - And they also, that family was cool because it was a father, father mother. And then the daughter was like 12 or something. - Yeah. - But the parents were like, and the grandmother was like, I want to talk to you guys. Tell us about what you're from. - Yeah, dinner, we had combos. - Yeah, it was pretty great. - It was, yeah, yeah. It was fucking fantastic. And then we went swimming. They take us to the hot springs before we do our third day hike. - That's right, there would be natural hot springs. - Yeah, there's a picture, I have a picture of it in there. - I marked it somewhere. - I got the worst sunburn from it. 'Cause I thought if I wore a hat, it would be fine. - Okay. - Anyway, it's a hot spring. This is pretty cool. - Yeah, it's like pools. We spend a couple hours there. - Two different pools. I will tell you, Bjorn killed it. I was trying to skip a rock from one pool, skip it over the embankment to another pool. Couldn't do it, fucking Niederlander. Got it in one trail. - Diddy. - Yeah, embarrassing. Also tons of mosquito bites in that place. - Oh my God. - 'Cause you wipe off the bug spray to go swimming and then it becomes like, "Fuck it, fuck." - Yes. And the, where do they, Niederlanders? Did they were wearing clothing that was not, you could, they got bit so bad. They weren't, 'cause we were using our own, the person we were with likes to make a potion, their own bug spray, and it works. It's very effective. - You. - And so, they weren't using it. And also, and then they also got, the worst Sudbury I've ever seen in my life. - Oh my God, they were not used to this. So they're like, "It's cloudy." Like, guys, you're from the Niederlands. - Yeah. - You need to, you need to sink up. - And this is like, 9,000 feet already, and you're gonna get burnt worse. So they were not prepared for any of this. They took a beating. And they thought I was a lunatic. I came out of this unscathed. - Yeah. - Okay, so now we make it up to our-- - This is Camp Day. - Yeah. - This is after the coffee plantation. - Yeah. - This is a dog that followed me for a bit. Later saw his son, and I had to keep telling him to go back, because he was like, joining. And I was like, "Get out of here." - I remember that. - Oh, these guys are the craziest. I'll wait 'til you can enlarge this. We were passing these guys. - These guys, so this guy was passing, was carrying eight bags. - Yeah. - We were carrying one bag. This guy was carrying every white guy's bag. - Yes. And they would stop, and they would hydrate with Coca-Cola. No water at all, just glass bottles of Coca-Cola. And this is like, this is what you do when you're like a teenager. This is your job. - Up and down, there's that guy again. Really cool, nice dog following me. Hold on, that's a sign to the camp. - By the way, not well marked at all. - Not well marked. No, not well marked. It was just that, it was like, which way did we go here? - And we were at the top. There was nobody else up there. There was just us, there was four sky cabins. - Should we show it? - Yeah. Okay, look at that view now right across directly across his Machu Picchu. So like over here this this right here is where Machu Picchu is and that's a giant ravine with a river running through it a thousand feet down. Yeah, at least. And we're staying there's the bathroom. There's a little cabin. There's one shower here which if you're smart you would open up the shower door and get that view. Yes. Or if you're taking a dump also smart to leave the door open. Yeah. So that the mosquitoes have an exit exit. Where's toilet? Oh yeah, there's a toilet along the way. Yeah. Just just awful. I just did not shit there. Did you shit anywhere along the trail? This is the camp. So we get there. It's just long. Um, no, no. Oh, that toilet was just on the way. They're like for five. Whatever. Yeah, I saw that. I was like, I'll shit next to the toilet for free. Yeah, exactly. There's just a good dog. There's random. There was a Starbucks up there. But that guy had painted Starbucks. Oh, I have the Starbucks sign. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Now I don't want to get this guy in trouble. So I'm going to tell you exactly where it is. I don't want the Starbucks corporate coming down. Yeah. Just shake this dude down for royalties. Starbucks. Here. Come on. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Indian Starbucks, but it says no pictures. It says don't take a picture. You owe me a nickel. Put a sticker on there. No, I did not. So we get there. This lady is old lady. She's about 170 years old. It was like, do you want to have a telescope and look and we're like, yeah. And so she got us. Oh my god. You got that. You got the picture through the telescope. Yeah. Oh, that's fucking sweet. So this is us looking trying to find Machu Picchu through the telescope. Yeah. And it's directly right there. Yeah. It's a difficult find. That's the kid. Yeah. Look at the pups. Oh, she just can't follow me. I was like, get back down. We're going so far. I didn't realize he was headed where we were headed. Yeah. They were also they were staying in the cabin next to us. Yeah. Oh, that's that's the coffee. That's the coffee in the morning. The syrup coffee. The syrup coffee bar dog. There's that bar dog feeding them out of my hands. Just random. Don't believe me. Then how did I get this bracelet to match that one? Don't believe me? Look how funny treats, bro. You carried treats for these guys. Yeah. The dogs were great. Not aggressive at all. Not aggressive. Just super stoked to get. I mean, that's a smile. In Cusco, they're all over the street, but they would get out of the way for cars. And they were not aggressive and everybody fed them. They got out of the way the cars, but like that far out of the way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was a guy right by the way. Sometimes you had to press your body against the wall if a car was coming in Cusco. Yeah. There's the old lady in the bottom right. And that's Cusco. So here's the view from the telescope. That is you can't really see it, but like that's Machu Picchu. Yeah. And you could see people walking through it. You could see some people. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty wild. That's a good picture through there. Yeah. There's the camp. Or there's just some lady. I don't know. I just like what a sick picture. Yeah. These views were everywhere. It was sunny. And then so that place got weird. So then the clouds would come. So that view we had, now the clouds are rolling, gone. Yeah. How'd that place get weird? At night. Yeah. Do you remember when it got weird? Um, camp day. Why is this one doing here? So after we ate. Yeah. You started trying to, so the, so the girls were you night. They drove them to where we were going. The two girls that couldn't go on that on the soccer tie pass. They, they took them to the coffee place. Yeah. We met up there. And they all said, Hey, uh, don't drink the juice. I saw them fill it up with tap water. And we're like, Oh, there's Susan was like, Hey, on the pro tip. Leave that juice alone. That was a clutch. The clutch. Yeah. So and they, and they decide this hike is only like three hours. So they, this hike was pretty easy. It was nice. Yeah. The one who had food poisoning was like, I'm afraid food poisoning is going to come back. And she fucking, she gets, when it comes back, I want to be there already. Yes. And it didn't come back. It didn't come back. But you come in and, and it's just like opened up into this like area where you can just like. And it was just us. It was just us. Like I don't know where these other groups are staying. I think they stay further down. Oh, there's, there's, there's, there's. There's roasts in the coffee. The coffee. Wow. Yeah. They showed us how to do it. Now I do it at home all the time with my own coffee beans. Now, there's a lot of that goes into that. Yeah. But then at night, the shit got fucking, do you remember the lights? Yeah. I forgot about the lights. So we went out after dinner. It was dark. Odd light. We sat on a log way off to the, to the left. Yeah. Way out there. Oh, yeah. Found a log. I found. We were like, this is awesome. We're in the middle of nowhere. It's pretty much a camp like a sleep way camp. Yeah. The views out. See if I have one. I don't, was, I don't know, you had one in years. Camp views. Keep talking. The views out were just, it was a window out. Yeah. Now once the clouds came in, you couldn't see it. But literally the view from your bedroom was looking at Machu Picchu. Yeah. And the valley and everything. I mean, it was the greatest view that I've ever had from any place I've ever stayed. And you're staying there like that. Yeah. And it was a, that's her place, I think. We don't even know because at one point, she goes, I'm going down the hill and she locked up. There's the view. Yeah. You guys got enlarged. I don't know. I'll send it to you. It's now this is clouded. But it does look but it just looks out of Machu Picchu. You're in a bed and he just looks out. Yeah. And there's the beds are small. Yeah. Don't show that last one. So at night, we stayed up to hang out and just, you know, take in the serenity of it all. And who was clutch? Who was clutch? Who was clutch in that moment? You? Why was that clutch? Because you had marijuana. Because I had marijuana. That's right. That's right. For three days, I've been holding this fucking joint. Yep. Waiting for the moment. And that was the moment. And it was, and so we sat there high and that's when the shit started going down. What the fuck were the lights? I don't know. And this is now, by the way, there's four of us witness this and it wasn't just a one-time thing. This went on for a while. There were lights all over. Now it was, it was getting foggy. So you could see them, the lights and the fog. You kept saying, no, no, there's something right there, but something right there, but no. No, there was nothing. It was straight down after the cliff. There was lights coming up. There was lights in the woods. Yeah. Even the next day, you're like, there's no, there wouldn't be anywhere where any lights could be. Would you call them supernatural? Look, I'm not one of those guys, but this was like, fucking, you start wondering. I mean, these lights went on for 30 minutes. So like we were pretty much there and maybe just to our left. Like just to your where you are right there, it's like, look at the telescope. It was like just to your left of the woods. It's a drop. Yeah. There's nothing there. And then also all the way to the left through the woods. And then we started hearing stuff in the woods. But the lights would go around. So this was the entrance to it. And we finally get up there. We're like, oh, and then unfolds into the other view you saw. Yeah, because we had no idea. We didn't know. We didn't see pictures of any of this shit. No, none. We didn't know what we were getting into. What the fuck with the lights? I don't know, but they were real. They were real. And there was, we realized nobody else was up there because that was the only place to stay. Now, way down below to the right, but not to the left. Yeah. There were other groups where they would stay, but way down the mountain. And but to the left, there was right. Exactly. It wasn't way down the mountain. That's way down the mountain. So they would go and all different. They would come down from the sky. They would go shine up at the clouds. Yeah. I have no idea. You wanted to go inspect. And I said, dude, what are you going to find out that you want to find the truth? That's what I wanted. You guys were really adamant that I don't know. Don't disturb. If it's spirits, let them be. If it's aliens, let them be. I mean, Machu Picchu has. What if it's Ross about Ross about their near-to-wells? Then let's find out. What did you just get a big rock and run into the woods? Yeah. I did have a rock. And I was like, I'll go in and investigate because I did want to know what was in there. Oh, Neil always, by the way, wants protection. We went to Tijuana one time. And he goes, well, I got to bring a knife. Like, dude, you cannot bring a knife over the border into Tijuana. And it's like, what if somebody does something like, well, you can just try stabbing Mexicans into Tijuana. So he was like, we're like, no, you can't go by and if it's too late anyway. And you got a butter knife from the condo in La Jolla. Yeah. And it was like, took that with you and yourself. I got, hey, look, I maced the guy that was shooting at me. So I think you always got to have a weapon. So I always have, because I believe in the Bash and stab. Bash and stab. Yeah. That's my, that's my, if I have nothing else than it's just a Bash and stab. But I, I really wanted to find out what would and people, people were with us were like, it's almost going to be like 30 more minutes if you can. People were like, this, this is a bad idea. Yeah. What was a bad idea to go into those woods? Yes. Yes. Everyone was really, you told the old lady before you, you scared Susan bad, running out of the woods. And she screamed. And the old lady comes running, I mean, she's literally so fucking old. She, her witchcraft made her live longer than she should be, but she just got spry, sprinting down with a, yeah, and she's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? It's bad. and then she was like, oh, he scared me. And she was like-- - That was a good scare, by the way, because I ran like-- - Hey, running out, it was like a red light. - All creeped, like all bent over. - I was like, what is that? What is that? It was like, (screaming) She screamed. - Yeah, she screamed so fucking loud. - So fucking loud. - Oh my god, that was strong. - But to this day, I don't know, but there is a lot of paranormal activity around Machu Picchu. - Is there? - Yeah, yeah, it's a known hub for things like this. Who knows, I don't know, I do know I saw lights. I'm sure there's a reason for it. I couldn't find online any reason for it. You saw-- - I saw him. I didn't see him. - I know it just seems like a joke. I saw him. - You sure it's spritzed at him. (laughing) - It was behind me. - It was spritzing my hands. - Yeah. - When I get nervous, I just keep spritzing. - Oh, try passing a fucking join around with O'Neill. - It's here you go, you touch my hand, I got a spritzed. But you won't share the joint, it's so wild. - I sure it's the joint and then it will catch on fire because of the rubbing alcohol. - All right, right, right. It was so cool, I went to the cabin, I brought out a joint holder with, I had two other ones, but I was like waiting for the moment. The one chick was sick, the other chick was sick. - It was so perfect. - The second joint, the third joint were maybe even better, but maybe not. - No, the second joint for sure was the best. - Well, we had one joint and we freaked out Bjorn. That was the second joint. - Wait, which, what was that? - We're just, we're just in Machu Piccio and it's like, he's like, what the fuck are you guys doing? - Yes. - There's tourists everywhere. - Yeah, we go, yeah, it's like, no, I'm good, thanks. His wife was like, I don't hang out with his boys. - And then we realized that you could just go anywhere if you just walked backwards. - Hold on, we'll go. - We'll get to that, we'll get to that. - So final day, we leave the cabin. - Yeah. - And we also now we hear, 'cause the last part of this is the Inca Trail. So Conte's done, now you're on the Inca Trail, which is gonna take you. So it's way more heavily traveled. So now you're meeting up with people who travel. - No, it's a lot less, so all the backpackers do the self-cutter track instead of the Inca track, 'cause it's an extra day or two and it's cheaper. And every backpacker's like, that's it. I want the longer and I want-- - It's more adventurous. - It's more adventurous, too. Joe List had done it. Actually, there's an episode of this podcast about Joe List's self-cutter trail, yeah. - I saw him, like, two months ago, and we were talking about it. It was fucking nice. - I think when he did it, it was a lot less built up. 'Cause we wanted to see some building happening. They were like, let's get more tourism. But the one, the first shanty we stayed in was not, that looked like it'd been there for a long time. - I think List was like tense. They set up tense for them. - Okay, I could see that. - Yeah. - This is how you go and weather is good. You could tent it. This would not be tentable. - The last day to hydroelectric, and like, whatever much of it your city is, the town nearby. - I was calliantis. - I was calliantis, yeah. Was at first pretty great. We passed some little ruins. - Yeah. - It's fun. - Some guy definitely recognized me. We're all taking a picture and he goes, "Can I take a picture for you?" And I was like, "No, we're good. "We got it." He goes, "Oh, I can take a picture." - You're like running up. - It was funny because there was a couple guys in Cusco. We were just up in a random high street, you know, where you couldn't even drive is all walking. And some guys like, "What the fuck are you doing here?" I was like, probably same as you. What are you doing here? It's like going hiking with my dad. I was like, "Yeah, we're hiking." - Yeah. So then we go down and there's like a little shop. We get some ice cream. Frozen treats, remember? - Where was this? - On the way down to the-- - Oh, so there's supposed to be a fire at this one. And I asked the lady, was like, "Hey, when's the fire?" She's like, "What are you talking about?" - Yeah, she goes, "No." - No. - It attracts aliens. - Yeah. (laughing) - So no fire. The aliens will know where you are. - So it's all the way down to the river and then all the way back up. - And we were passing large groups. And this made me glower on it. - Now we're on it. We already learned from the day before, doing 11 hours on an eight hour hike. - Yes. - Where we didn't pass anybody. - Yeah. - But now we're passing large groups and I'm glad we did not go with the large group 'cause they did not look fun. A lot of British. - A lot of British. - A lot of young people. - Yeah, they're all doing it. They're all about to leave. We gotta get ahead of these people. - Yeah. - We gotta get ahead of these people 'cause we'll never get past them. - Yep. - Brits also, here's a stereotype you might not know, are the best at not getting out of the way when you're clearly walking faster than them. - Yeah. - Everyone else just, "Oh yeah, go ahead." Here's what another people do. Here's what Russians do. You get out of the way for them, they go, "Thanks." And then they stop about 10 meters later. How many feet is that? - That would be 30 feet. - About 10 meters later, it's pictures in the way. And then you catch up to them and you gotta go, excuse me, and then go. - Yes, they're very like, you're like, you're taking up the entire bridge. - Yeah. - And you're not even, I had to squeeze by some fucking Russians on a bridge. And they didn't even, they were like, "Why are you in my shot?" - Yeah. - I was like, "This is the only way across the river." - The best shot, that's why. - Oh, so what is, oh, this is okay. This is where we get to. - So now it's just like two hours of walking along train tracks. - Two hours of walking on train tracks, and it was very unexciting. - Yes. - Hold on. - Now it got a little more exciting. So you could see the Peruvian train. So. - So pretty much this is the whole, it's the whole second half of this house. We stopped for lunch. But before this evening, you're like, you're just walking on train tracks. - And there's just people walking on it. - There's no views really. - Lots of people walking on it. - Lots of people walking, it's really popular now. 'Cause you could take a train to here and it's like a two hour eye you can do. - Yeah. - Jungly, but like no views. - So we're walking. - Yeah. - So we're ahead of you guys. And we stop. - Yeah. - And we miss. - A turn out. - A turn. - You were way ahead. - Yeah. We missed a turn. 'Cause it just said stay on the tracks. The tracks will take you to Agua's Colliettes. - You and a girl way, way ahead. - So there was a restaurant that had a driveway. We thought it was just a driveway for the restaurant. Turns out that's the road you're supposed to take. - There was a sign that says go this way. Don't go along the train tracks anymore. - Yeah. - And I think it was in English. - Well, we missed that sign. And then all we kept seeing was don't walk on the train tracks. - Don't walk on the train tracks. - Don't walk where you're walking right now. - It's decent advice. - But. - There's a lot of contradictions. - So it's this. - So you're walking. Sometimes trains will go by. - It's a pretty wide train. - Yeah, trains coming. But you have enough smoke. But the ground is really bad to walk on here. - Yes. So we keep going. We're not seeing anybody anymore. And we're seeing every 20 feet a sign that says, you're not supposed to be walking here. We don't know where else to go. So we decide to go into this tunnel. - Yeah. - There's a tunnel coming up. - Great. - Now that's a very narrow tunnel. So if I look behind me, and I go, well, there's no train coming, you know. Obviously, there's a very narrow tunnel. We'll be fine. And I even have a picture behind me-- - Do you? - Yeah, of the empty tracks, but it's on a curve. - So it was longer than this, right? - What, the tunnel? - This isn't the one. - I think this is the tunnel before we go in. - Okay. - It was one of these. - Yeah, I didn't get to this one. So this had to be one of yours. - Yeah. And I look behind me and there's a curve. I don't see a train. So we don't think anything of it. Because also you had told me that there's only four trains a day or something that go through. - There were only four trains a day. - I think I'd seen five already that day. So we're not even worried. So as we're walking halfway through the tunnel, a train is-- - I figured it out, I'll drag, yeah. - A train is coming. A train is now rounding the bend. - You had the girl who had been barfing two days earlier. - Yes. Now this tunnel is much longer than you think. It's also very rocky. - It's very rocky. So you can't really run or get any paint. It's just loose, big rocks. So he's blowing the whistle and the train is coming. And we are now, and I said, run. Run as fast as you fucking can. Because now we're in the tunnel and the train is in the tunnel. And-- - There's no space here. - So here's the thing. I don't know if you can press your body against the wall or not. I don't know if you can lay. They also have these stairs that stick out. Do you remember where they weren't like retracting? Like on the train itself, yeah. - Right, right. - Because they don't think anyone's gonna get that close to the fucking train. No one should be in the tunnel, obviously. - That's why they put those signs. - Sign, sign, go that way. - To this day, I don't know if you could have laid a down. I don't, I didn't want-- - Like hug the edge. - So I said, to the person I was with, I said run. She's like, I'm running as fast as I can. I said, you need to run faster than that. - She fall. - And then she fell. - Oh no. - And then-- - Dude, out there. - Red flag. - This is a red flag. - Oh yeah, if you're dating a guy who takes you into danger, and-- - Oh, I thought you said for me, if you're with a girl who trips and falls-- - Oh no, no, no. - When a train is coming, this is a red flag. - For all the dudes at home who are adventurers, also red flag. - So, you can't be fallen in a train tunnel. - The train is in the tunnel now. - The train is, I don't use this word very often, bearing down on you. - Yes, I stop. I turn around. - Dude, get a new chick. - I run, I go, give it your fucking hand. I've never yanked anyone up through the air like this. I grab just fling her to the feet, and I go, fucking run, 'cause now it's in the tunnel, and they're just hogging. By the way, making no attempt to stop. They're just like, fuck it, whatever. This isn't, there's no repercussions for us, 'cause we're just gonna keep going. - Yeah. - And so, we get out of that tunnel. at the end, turn immediately right, and maybe 10 seconds later the train comes through. Barely through. Yes. The tunnel's made just for train size. They're in no place to walk. I'm laughing because I'm like, this was what an adventure. And the look on her face is, please don't speak to me. Please do not ever speak. For at least eight to ten hours. And then all of a sudden, we look down and we see you guys. So I'm on a nice stroll. I looked over, O'Neal is coming down through where there's not even a path. There's no path. Oh, I thought you were up in the city already. I was like, "Hey, get in line for the quid trek on Machu Piccio." Then all the city's just up there and I'm like, "What's going on?" You're like, "Hey guy." With the look of like, "Hey." And then the chick, you know when you're a restaurant and you see a couple and that they've already been fighting and you're like, "Oh, she was so mad, but also she recognized she wasn't mad at us." And she was like, "Hey guys." And they was like, "Oh, whoa." And then you just go like, "Yes, as you come, I just go." I know not to talk right here, you're just like, "Yep, I go, we just keep, we had a little incident." And I was like, "She was so mad." She was so mad and then she was having nightmares about it. What? Later, she started having these train nightmares. Look, look, it was close. It was very, I'm not going to lie to you. We wore seconds away from a potential very serious disaster. And I saw why they had all those signs there. Now it didn't affect me that much, but I could see how it can definitely affect you. You let it roll right off you. Yeah, she, this is also, I'm not going to lie. I've known her a long time and I've put her in a few serious situations. So this was like, she goes, "I knew I shouldn't have listened to you." She's like, "History has told me to follow my gut when I say we're not going the right way." Now, I didn't convince her to go this way. We just naturally made the wrong choice together. But she didn't want to go through the tunnel and I was like, "I will just take this all the way. It'll take us all the way in." But yeah, because she was like, "I'm not going to walk on the train tracks at all." I don't care how we find her at that point. By the way, we were not the only ones that made this mistake because there was a tiny trail that went down of other people who had definitely fucked up. And maybe you got hit by a train. You don't want to hear run said with that kind of like energy. Yes. When she goes, "I'm going as fast as I can and I was well ahead," I go, "And I looked back and I go, 'You need to run faster.'" There's also a thing that a couple will do where you go, "I'm doing it as fast as I can." It's like, "You're not though." Exactly. You're going to die. What you're saying is, get off my back. But you're like, "You're not going as fast as you want to go right now and I need you to want it more." I go, "You need to run like. " I mean, she was running fast and maybe she was running fast, but I was like, "Whatever extra juice you have, this is the time to kick it in." Leave it on zero on time. Don't say anything in the tank. Nothing. You know I'd be blown up by a train going, "I had a little more." I still do have the image in my head because I had to turn around and get her and now I see where the train is. Oh. I'm glad she did not look back. She would have frozen. It was a disastrous scenario. And it's like going like, "Murr." And not laying on the brakes. Oh my God. He's like, "I've got a schedule." Yeah. He goes, "Whatever. Some dead Americans. I'll be long gone by the time they find them." He can't be. He's like, "I can't pause. We don't have brakes on this like that. But fuck. I don't want to kill another couple white people." And I want to know how many people have died on it. I'm sure they keep those white people sealed. But a handful have for sure. Yeah. She was very mad and then, you know, was not exactly my fault. It was totally your fault. It was not it. Because also she got to the point where the tunnel, and she said, "I don't think we should go in there." And you go, "Well, we're not going all the way back in a round." I did say that. We're right here. Your memory is very sharp. She expressed. She expressed upset. Yeah. I go, "We'll get through here," and then Agua's callientes is like probably just what I didn't know is there were multiple more tunnels that you have to go through which I'm glad. And she'll shock to the, "Hey, Eddie fixes one more time, I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick." And then we'll just take it through this day. I thought it, it's more of a cautionary tale episode, "Adventure in Betrayal." Here's Hydro-Electrica. There's just the views from this. The views were just crazy. The whole way. I mean, everywhere. Yeah, everywhere. Even this. That's before. Yeah. We were jaded at this point. We were jaded. Yeah. Looking at this now, I'm like, that's pretty awesome. Yeah. With those giant leaves. That's even better views. So we're like, "Mah." Yeah, we came from like, I mean, we went everywhere from snow to cloud forest, to rain forest. And so then finally we start seeing signs of Machu Picchu, like this, like an actual sign. Here's just all walking along the trail, "God, damn, look at that. That's almost at lunch time." Yeah. And then we get to the town. And the town is actually very cool. I mean, it's there. Wait. That's a ship and sticker on there. Did I put one on there? You, from sure. Had to, right? Had to. That's an obvious. That's it. You'd have to zoom in on that one. Obvious? Yes. Can't find it. I'm adding on it. It might not have been no room. No. A little coat of honor about it where I'm like, I'm not gonna cover someone else's sticker. That's the other thing. I think a lot of people seem respectful like that. Yeah. There's space, though. Up top to the left. Just in the right hand corner and then move to the left. No. Nope. No, it's not there. You definitely put one on there. Had to. Anyway. So, and the Ogwoods Colleant is nice, but it's a very tourist town, so everything's way more expensive. And you're like, this is-- Everything got way more expensive. You're right. Instead of stopping a little huts and getting stuff. It's the hub of Machu Picchu. Yeah. But I mean, at this point, you must be feeling like what we kind of did it. Oh, this is the inside of the train. If you wanted to take those luxury trains, I just took a picture from through it. It's like that. What luxury? That's what the rich old people do. Yeah. They have Machu Picchu. That's the kind of Trip Niana wants. Fucking luxury. Well, take this. Those are like handcrafted Mahogany seats. Yeah. Oh, this fucking rich bitch. We were slumming it on-- We were slumming it on dirt roads, and she's off on the fucking clouds looking down at us in District 1. That's how wide the train is. So I don't know. That's tough. I mean, whatever. You can speculate all you want. That's moving pretty fast past us. There's the statue downtown. Machu Picchu preblo. Oh, is it Tupac Amaru, the first? It might be. No, that's a real guy. It's not a joke. That's what-- That's what Tupac's name down here. He's everywhere. And there's also multiple Tupac. And then his wife, I did an intro for maybe the Tom Rhodes episode in Abankai in that city. His wife was a revolutionary. So Tupac Amaru is the first guy. Tupac Amaru is the second. It was way, way later. He was like an early-- let's get rid of the Spanish, you know, like revolutionary, named after the Inca. And then Tupac Shakur's mom was like, hey, this guy has rules. And it was only-- But his wife had a picture with the chains coming. And what year was that? It was like 1,516, 17, 18. A second? No. That had to be 18s. Okay. If you drove off the Spanish. His rival was Biggie Smalls. Yeah, Biggie Smalls. Biggie Smalls. Yeah, coincidence. So these people stayed downtown, downtown. Look at the hotel. Yeah. And then they give you a hotel that was really nice. I have river views. That's your coming out of the mountain. From my-- I mind was facing the river. You guys. Oh, you guys got a-- interesting here. Okay. Oh, let's see here. It was great. Staying there that night, also everybody was like, we're not-- we're taking the bus up to Machu Picchu tomorrow, and you, by the way, Pussy, also said, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure the train. Yeah. I mean, the bus. And then I go, yeah, I'm probably going to wait till tomorrow until we feel I'm really tired right now, but I probably want to walk up the steps to Machu Picchu. Yeah. And then you go, well, if you're doing it, I'm doing it. You refuse to be out of that. I don't think I said it that aggressively. I go, oh, what I thought was nobody wanted to do it. So I was like, fine, we'll all. But then you go, I'll do it, because I didn't think you wanted to do it. So then I go, yeah, great. So you have to wake up at like 5 a.m. to fucking go eat and then get going on it. And by the way, not-- Look at this. Not an easy hike up to Machu Picchu on the stairs. No, we're going to do Machu Picchu the next day. We're going to do it when we come back. There's just no way. But-- So this is, yeah, there's another two hours. Yeah, exactly. But just getting-- No, there. Okay. That's the tunnel. That's the tunnel. And then the picture back, that is the little bend where I said, ah, now we're good. Right there, really good. But the train is moving quickly. So there's nothing coming around that bend. So I was like, cool. That. There's the tunnel. And it does look from this angle like we can make it. Yeah. I want to see what that sign says. It for sure says, do not go in this fucking tunnel. And see, oh, there's the bend. I go, there's nobody coming. So this is it. Now there's not a lot-- Fuck that is exactly right. And that's from the technology wizard. That fucking train. Oh my god. This is your make me insane. I got to reverse my hat. You're fucking driving me crazy. That train was hiding right around the corner, dude. Waiting. Waiting. And then I heard it excellently. That's how they-- Really? I saw a guy wait. He goes wait until they get in there. And then floor it. So these are, yeah, this is outside the hotel. This is like, just a river flowing through town. - Yeah, we're just river flowing through town. Whatever, no big deal. That's the town to the right. That's probably our hotel. - Yeah, that's where you go down to Machu Picchu. This is off the balcony of the hotel. Oh, this is our hike to Machu Picchu. - This is the next day. Okay, we're not doing that yet. So-- - Pause it there. - Yeah. And just had a nice meal. - Yeah. - With also Björn and-- - Susan? - Susan. We just like, let's get burgers. It just like something hardy, had some beers, right? - And that's where we had-- We had beers the next day. No, we had beers here 'cause we left. We didn't stay here another night. - No, we had that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, we did. Yeah, we had some beers. And then we-- - It's because we're like, we can drink again. We're done with the most generous part. 'Cause Machu Picchu itself is way lower altitude than even-- - So it's like 9,000. Yeah, it's like 9,000. - So it's a way to-- - It's a way to-- - Why this will be a speed level? - Uh, 3,000 meters. (laughing) - By the way, guys, this is how we was saying, every time we passed a sign, every time we passed a sign, they'd go, there would be like, altitude signs with like 4200 meters. It's like, what is that in feet? And then we'd all be talking and we didn't realize you'd be doing the calculations every time. And there was a lot of signs without a dude on it. And Ryan's like, so that's like, so that's like 9,000, it's about maybe 9,700 and we're like, dude, we're talking about a band right now. We moved on. (laughing) - There was two things I did on this. I did the calculations and I complained about the CVT transmission in the car that we rented later. - This is the view from your hotel. - Yeah. - Goddamn. - Bro, if this is in a nice place, like a place you can't just get to easily, that is a 700 dollar night hotel. - Easily. - Fortune. - Fortune? - Yeah, it was, yes. - Yeah, we walked along, we walked along there. - And that's where we found the most delicious cheesecake of all time, passion fruit cheesecake. - Passion fruit cheesecake. - Hey, Azola, and he's doing a great job today. Really deserves a couple extra bucks for today. A lot more work than any sort of YMH broadcast in general. Yeah, usually all you have to do is make sure, fucking Lauren's nips get covered up when they pass out accidentally, but really, really over helping me out here. So, good job with him. Neanna, little bit improvement available. She got really mad about the indigenous problems early on. (laughing) Wow, I do need to go, Joe's. Okay, well, so then we went to sleep and it was one of the best things we've ever had. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And just, all right, we'll pick it up. - And then we had to wake up at 5 a.m. - We had to wake up at 5 a.m. - 4 a.m. to pack and get our shit down. E at 5, beat out the door at 6. - Why for sunrise? - We had to get in the line. We had the tours all start at fucking, you have to buy-- - First, we went and tried to buy a route. This is gonna come in handy when we come back. There's three routes, one, two, and three, and there's A and B for each one. You really want route two, B, I think. - Yes. - Blue. - But-- - We couldn't get that. - There's a loophole here. - Oh, there's a loophole. - There's many loophole. - You can try last minute, and we did, they're like, "No, that's out, but you can try it." You can get, we had number one, they're like, you'd also get three, so you can see a little bit extra. Okay, great. We'll get, but were you really wanted to? - Yeah. - And we figured it out because we were Americans. - Yes. - You can also just hide. - Well, that's how we figured it out. - And walk backwards. - That is how we figured it out. - Well, this is how we figured it out. - Yeah, there's tomorrow, there's our first. There's just a hint of what we're doing when we come back, even though for you guys, we're probably the same episode. It's our first view of the fucking mountain from up close. - Yeah, and also we'll see where we were staying. And we're gonna go to a place. - Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. It's gonna be great. O'Neal, thank you. - Yeah. - As always, I'll do another drop in the middle here, but like, bonus. - Slop quest. - Slop quest. Streaming now on Patreon. - Yeah. - Right. - And you can get it on Spotify and Apple. - What, Slop quest is on Apple now? I thought they only do like Nazi propaganda. They're doing that, too, no? - No, no, they do, they don't just do it. - Oh, wow. Okay, okay, so, yeah, thanks. - So tomorrow? - Tomorrow, we'll figure out what time. - Okay, okay. - Yeah, okay. - I mean, I mean, this is great. - Because then we have-- - I thought it was gonna be two and a half hours. This is nutty. - I knew, I thought it was gonna be four or five. - It's a seven day vacation. You join me three days-- - We join you for-- - And then five days. - 10, maybe 10, or 12 days. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - The last day was the worst day. - Yeah, and we haven't even got into, yeah. There's so much evidently though, it's a bad episode because it makes people not wanna do that. - Does make people not wanna do it. - Oh, it's gonna get worse. - No, Neon, you're gonna see the pictures of Machu Picchu and then you're gonna enjoy. - It's just, if you're not in-- - Yeah, boom. What about that? - What about that, bitch? - Yeah. - Oh, what about that? Oh, oh, oh. - Do you like hiking and stuff? - Oh, beautiful fucking ruins. Well built architecture that's lasted over the years. Then you'll like Machu Picchu when we come back. (laughing) - Okay. - Oh boy, how do I do this? Who has kids? Is this creepy? Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. (crying) Come on. What a fact it's due. Okay. Oh, oh. I mean, this is never gonna work. I mean, not a billion years. I never put out of it. Ow. Okay. Okay. Ow, it hurts, but I'm gonna keep going. That's the episode of everybody. What, this was one of my favorite trips I've ever done at all time, legitimately. Oh, Neil, when I went to South America, I told all my friends, I said, hey, if you have ever wanted to go anywhere, in South America, I'll meet you in Latin or South America. Maybe you wanted to meet me at the border in Nicaragua, or maybe it turned away. Maybe you wanted to meet me for a while in Guerrero's baseball game. Viva Guerrero's. Maybe you wanted to meet me for a Guadamo and Shalakastanango football match. Dalay, Dalay, Dalay Super Chiva. Or whatever you wanted to do. Tell me, and I'll rearrange my trip. I'll figure out a way to come meet you for that. I had a friend who wanted to go to Oasis. I figured out a time. I was actually gonna be in Santiago when Oasis was happening. Literally, everybody showed up. Everybody started wearing black. Oh, look, cats pooping. I don't think I've ever seen a cat poop outside. Ooh, he's got diarrhea. Wish I could show this to you. But on Neil's said, he wanted to go to Machu Picchu and I was like, let's do it, dude. And one year ago, really right now. Really right now. We were there on our way and then there. I mean, what if that kids do? This is so painful. It was one of the greatest trips of my life. The as terrible as it was. I mean, when we're talking about going, oh, now it's burying it. When we're talking about that last long day where we almost got like rained in there. Soaked the bone, all the waterproofness of the shoes did nothing, did nothing. There's a, I forget who said it at first, but there's an idea and travel that all of your worst days become great memories unless you die. Or somebody you know gets like Indian partied. But beyond those, all of the worst time become great memories. And it was a great memory. I mean, getting to meet that dude who drove us, that's the most dangerous road I've ever been on. And I've been through Ecuador. I've been through East Timor, which are the worst roads. But that was the most dangerous. And people died in these Timor roads. They just washed out and they got washed out of the cliff. But I mean, it was, there's no room for error. There's no margin. But then once we got there and then what's her name was like, do not drink that juice. We saw them fill it up with tap water. I'm like, ah, that whole thing, it was great. The whole thing was great. Oh, I mean, it's just a great memory. And O'Neal's the best guy to do it with. Yeah, he was like, I want to go and like, sick, I'm in. Let's do it. And I actually made reservations with that. He don't normally do. Oh, I got to tell you about Tunisia. But yeah, you got to make reservations for Matropetra or it does fill up, unfortunately. I do have sunglasses in my pocket, but I don't think there's any way to get that. Oh, is it going to pop? Is it going to break for sure? Thank you very much, Ryan O'Neal. As I said, go to listen to SlopQuest wherever you listen to podcasts or watch podcasts. There's also the SlopQuest Patreon. We can get every episode. Add free. Ow. There's my. What is the thing? Didn't I have, I mean, is it out there? This is, I mean, this is what a mistake this was. Oh, it's in the pocket. Ow, ow, ow. I got it. I can do this. Next week is part two, everybody. Next week is part two of this fucking epic podcast. Come on. And that's what we get to Machu Picchu. And the adventure goes on. After we get to Machu Picchu, we did more stuff and that's when it gets legitimately dark and scary. So guys, this is a two-parter and it was worth it for being a two-parter. We're going to treat it as one episode for the trippy awards, but it got to be a nomination for most adventurous, best trip, worst trip. Slop quest podcast. Wherever you listen to podcast, Slop quest Patreon for full episodes and bonus content. You do want to follow on Instagram. If you're on Instagram, open it up right now. Go to Ryan and Neil Comedy, two L's, and give him a follow. He's just putting out funny, like, stand-up clips and sketch clips and just like, pretty dumb, ridiculous stuff. Go to Ryan and Neil Comedy.com, his website for tour dates, which you want to see him, the pride of Al Parazo, and sketches. Daddy knows best is the one with one as easy that he did. Him, Danish, and Neil, Daddy knows best. Wow. You see Leslie Jones in that back when she was on her way up before she was famous. Yes, so next week we get to Machu Picchu. And after the Machu Picchu stuff, which we'll talk about, is where the real danger starts. So tune in. There was no way to do this one episode. It would have been, like, five hours. Okay. So that's it. I'm going to tell you about Tunisia real quick, because I went, by the way, today's episode is produced by your mom's house network. They're the best producers in comedy, the best ad team in comedy. But honestly, the social team best, a lot of people get, like, hardcore lesbian stuff in the way of their jobs. Not these box monitors. They still get it done. So you want to follow the UB Trippin Patreon. I'm sorry. The UB Trippin pod Instagram. And these box monitors in between, like, wipe offs of their mouths, of that juice, that PJ, they get you done. So go follow the UB Trippin Patreon. I have stuff for my trip in Tunisia on there. UB Trippin pod. Give them a follow. Give them a follow. And also, when we have episodes from this, and there's extra pictures, I mean, again, nothing politically on there. It's to hate politics. It's coming, right? I'm free of it. There's a Tunisia. I missed all this stuff about shingles, guys. Maybe I'm in, I got to tell you about Tunisia, but I was there in Tunisia, and then I got back. And everyone seems mad at shingles, and guys, I got to be honest, shane, that baffled me. What you said. It was very confusing, because, as another person who's never been to the gym, I don't even know how it works at all. Are there multiple people there? Do you get the same stuff? These free weights. Are they just for the taking? I really don't get any of it. When someone says spot you, does that mean you pick a spot in the ground and say you lift there? I'm confused by all of it. By the way, speaking up. So I got to tell you about Tunisia. I did see some hookers in Tunisia, some actual whores. Pretty gross. Maybe second grosses to me and why. I think I saw one that was cute and the rest were just like, and I saw them leave and come back. So, the Yankees lost, and now all I have to cheer for, my NFL team disbanded a few years ago after going 25 years without an empty championship game, even played in, they decided to do the right thing, and just disbanded. Now they'd be on 30 years of no NFC championship game. So good for them for disbanding, and now I am a fan of a team with the same colors that Tottenham hot spurs, who I'm recording this on Monday. I assume got their first win against Coventry out of last place. If not, I might leave again, but when the Yankees lost, that's my real team. I said, I'm out. And the cool thing about living in London now, by the way, I found a place, I haven't moved in yet, won't move in for another week and a half, but once I do, my official travels will be over. Starting in late June of, or no, mid-July of 2025, I went travel. I put all my stuff in storage, it's still in storage, it'll still be in storage until probably right before skankfest, which I'll be there. And I've, even though I've been in England for four months now, July, August the 10th of October, that's Jesus. I haven't found a place, so I still feel like I'm loose and traveling, not much has tied me down. And one of the cool things about being here, sort of central, oh boy, somebody's coming by, there's going to be very embarrassing, I don't know how to get past it. They're just walking by, but it's going to be awful. Guys, it's so embarrassing, I can look at my embarrassing. And one of the benefits of being in there is that I just looked up, I had a week off. No spurs games, no stand-up gigs, except for one at the Moth Club, but I was like, let me reschedule that. And for December, and I was like, where can I fly direct? I made a list, I used AI, chat GBT, open AI, I think they're the ones that are best for society. And I said, where can I fly direct with non-stop from London countries, then I go, okay, I've already been to these countries, make me a new list, I'm going to say, okay, great. Now, where can I fly for under $1,000, make a new list, and now round trip, and then, where can I fly that's under five hours, Tunisia? So I just high-tailed Tunisia, I knew nothing. Algeria too, with a visa process, I think, it takes like a month. These are the places to Malta, Portugal, but it's like Finland and Estonia, it's like places I could go to, but it's just got cold here, so even though it's sunny right now. So I was like, where can I go? And I went and do what a time. I mean, I have to do a whole episode about it, but hung out in Tunisia for a couple nights, I saw some live music, I had to do a talk with the guys, went to one of the oldest cafes in North Africa, went to the oldest mosque in North Africa, the great mosque of Kairan, I don't know how to say it, went to a bunch of sooks, smoked a ton of siggies, smoked a ton of camel blues, saw some horse, one hot, one wearing white, you know who you are, and a couple like, little, really like middle-aged housewives of people like, come on over, and they came over and I was like, wait, was that a bunker, and the guys were like, I think so, they just don't dress like them. Hookers in different areas just different, like in a lot of places you see in the movies, it looks like pretty woman, and then in Vegas, they just look like they're coming from prom, maybe it changed. The way to tell a hooker in Vegas is if a hot girl's nearby you and you say hi, she doesn't walk away. God, what a time, I rented a car, took advice, one of Seal's friends gave me some advice, and for sure rent a car, and I did stayed at a hostel, three of the nights, they were like, I'm sure you know what you want to do, I'm like, dude, I haven't done any research at all, I mean, I'll talk about no reservations. I had two nights at the Nomads hostel, which is kind of out of the way, but also great, because I was able to walk, it immediately started smoking cigarettes and drinking tea and drinking espresso coffee and just watching these guys play like gin and everything like this. I gotta get out of this. I'm just telling you, it was such a great fucking trip, met some cool people from England actually, met some good, like learned about stuff, met some guy from Iraq, I from Algeria, I from, I forget where, three Arab guys they told me what burbers were, which is like the other of the Arab, they were like the real Arab, the real Arab, Yemen. Right? Interesting. The real Arab is Yemen, and that's who Obama, she used to find like a, one of the U.S. presidents, she used to find like a wedding party of non combatants or militants and just oopsie to them all dead. There's no right versus left guys, it's all shitty. Anyway, I missed everything about like any SNL shit or any like anything, it was great, completely out of it. I actually texted Shane Gillis for, I got his dates wrong until he was going to SNL, I texted him, I was like, I got a sketch for you. And he goes, I already did it, I was like, ah shit, how'd it go? To make out with the one cute chick in the locker room. And he goes, no, it became a national talking point. And I was like, not that real, like, what's up and I was like, my phone wouldn't even work, I tried to call him. I was like, come on, it goes through, really? I'm like, no way. For what? with a joke, and I was like, no, no way, people got it. I'm just, I'm wondering. Like, 30 people got mad, he goes, "Dude, it was much worse than that." I tried to cover my WhatsApp, thank God he's on WhatsApp. And then we had a nice talk, and he's like, "What are you doing?" And I'm like, "I'm in Tunisia." I just watched a family of three on a moped go by, cut in front of me, on a roundabout, in a super dangerous manner. No helmets. Yeah, so it's a different thing. God, it was just one of my best trips. I'm going to do a whole episode about it, so I'm a ruin to hear. I've got to do a nice talk with the dude who recognized me, and he's like, "I'm going to take you around." I'm just like, "Actually, yes. Only person who recognized me the whole time stayed at a hotel where they shot the interiors of Star Wars, the Lars Homestead. I put up a UB Trippin sticker there. By the way, there's a link for the stickers down below. Get your own. I'm going to make new ones, more wild ones, but get those passport stamp pictures and put them up somewhere. And if you tag UB Trippin Pod as you put up a picture, we're going to be posting you. And if you find one of the ones I did, two free tickets to any show, if you want, and maybe a 10 pack of stickers too. And/or, I'm not sure. It'll get at least something. Yeah, fuck it. Both. First one to find one that I put up. So find the one that I put up in Machu Picchu, which we'll talk about next week. Guys, next week's going to be as good or better than this week. O'Neill is always the funniest. I just drove around the Trans-African Highway and just really had a blast. And I'm already enjoying the benefit of being that close to that many countries. I needed a second country. As you know, as many of you know, I do two new countries every year. And I was like, "Ooh, I've only got Uruguay." I was also in Argentina this year, I was also in Brazil this year, but I've already been to those. I've already been to America, France, and I needed a second new country. So I was like, "Take the time and go." And I went and I'm so glad. I didn't have so glad. I didn't know research. Do you know they had like a Roman Colosseum? Like a Roman Colosseum? So I'm kind of the hustle said that. Said I went to the one in Rome. It was too packed. Couldn't move. Went to the one in Tunisia, in a fucking nothing town, by the way. Let me catch that. Oh, that's a week of luck. Balls. I had to run to the place. I made a slow-mo video. I mean, run it into the Colosseum. It was like three-quarters of the size of the Roman one. God, Tunisia ruled. If I didn't know French or Arabic, it would have unlocked a lot more for me. Anyway, guys. So next week, we have Getting the Machu Picchu. We have Doing Machu Picchu. We have the road back. And then we have what we did later, which is a nearby rainbow mountain where we really saw near death some really bad shit that really affected me in a negative way for a long time. We covered that in the podcast. So definitely tune in next week. Next week will be Monday. This week is Tuesday because I had to go to Tunisia and I couldn't get the intro done on time. But don't forget Spotify now, the $4.99. You can get every episode, a day early, ad free. You're already on Spotify, so why not support the show? It's the best way to support me and my continued efforts to travel around the world and occasionally do a late podcast. This one, you would have gotten the yesterday on Monday. Normally, you'll get them on Sunday. And free. This shit will still be in there with no ads, no embedded ads and no, uh, whatever it's ads. Um, okay, I think that's it. Subscribe, guys. Wherever you're watching, listen and leave a comment for the algorithm. Um, tell me who else you'd like to, your tips got me mic-okay, got me seal on tour, um, got me small brain American, got me sabbatical, pretty much the whole November except for Wolfpots, Charles Wolf Traveller, you guys got me too, although I think the algorithm might have just told me that one. It's got got shot in Ethiopia, not shot at, shot. Um, no, November's going to be good, so please subscribe. And I think there's a bell to like do a reminder as well to hit both of those so you get reminded. A lot of you guys were subscribed, were unsubscribe, they know some people are saying nobody gets unsubscribe, it's actually not true. I've been unsubscribe about a lot of stuff that I subscribe to. It actually is a thing. Um, so some of you got unsubscribe, some of you have never subscribed, do it now and hit the bell. Um, I'm in there on the comments on YouTube for the first day or two, um, looking at your suggestions and stuff like that, and that's it guys. I love doing this podcast, I really do, and thank you very much for making it worth my time. If you want to do a, a 499 Spotify thing or a Patreon, where every episode of you be tripping is going to be going up, um, sorry of, um, skeptic tank is going to go up, um, also add free episode, but not a day early. Um, and then an occasional me weighing in on stuff, maybe I'm going to go over my Tunisia trip. Can I tell you, I have real moment, and then I'll end the episode. I'm going to probably cover this in the Tunisia episode. The day, seven days, eight days, seven nights in Tunisia, and I got to the airport, and for there, I returned my car, checked in, they make you check your bag before you even go check your bag, make you change out, it's illegal to take back money out of Tunisia. I did take some, um, new studio coming soon, probably in December, um, I think I'm out of the, no, I think I have one more from New York, the old studio, one more from Guest Digital, and then one more from Austin, but I'll still get a lot from Austin, but a new London studio coming. But, put my stuff in, and then I was like, hey, it's going to be, let me go outside, and spoke to where this Moroccan hash I have before the flight, I still have two plus hours. I've already checked in, checked my bag, I'm ready. Went outside sunset time, dude, okay, I'm smoking this fucking Moroccan hash, I'm sitting there, and I'm watching the sunset over Tunisia, and I'm like, this is going to be earnest, but I'm like, it's a pretty fucking sick time I'm having. It's pretty cool to be able to go to a place, figure out your way as you go, just kind of get by, and it's like fun. I know a lot of my friends are like, from high school or in jobs that they enjoy, but like, it's cool. It's cool, and it's fun, and honestly, part of the reason I went was because you guys are like, oh, they want me to have gone somewhere. And I know it's a two new country thing, but like, also like, it took some videos, plenty of videos for when I do an episode about Tunisia, and pictures went to an abandoned Berber town. Oh, god damn, what a fucking fun trip. What an action pack, seven fucking days. And I just sat there, and I watched the sunset over Tunisia one last time, and I was like, this will probably be the last summer over here. There's limited amount of time in the, you know, there's not much more slept in this horror for a night. And I'm like, I'll probably never be back, but what a fucking fun time. And you guys are kind of the reason I did it, and I videotaped a lot of it. So when we do that episode, know that it's because of you. So if you want to join in the Patreon, you'd be tripping Patreon, or get the bonus feature on Spotify. That'd be great way to support the podcast. Even if you don't want to do that, and don't want to pay anything, I should. And just want this to be free. That's also fine. But please subscribe, please click the reminder button, and please leave a comment every week. That's it. And also, please always reach out to the comedian, or the guests on Instagram, or on their website, or whatever. But today's easy, because it's Ryan O'Neill. Go to Ryan O'Neill comedy on Instagram, and just send him a message and just say, dude, you always kill on the show, or say how do I ever feel like to him, because he rules. And people like hearing that you enjoy the episode. So that's it, everybody. Until next week, when we finish off Machu Picchu, I'm Archipelago, saying, "Aseluago." Yeah. Oh, next week's going to be a good one. Next week's a fucking good one. Do not drop off on next week. Okay. "Bribery. Ancient ruins. Deaths." It's going to be a great one. Okay. Bye. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Oh, my foot's just like, oh, just care about it, oh, legit crap, oh, oh, oh, I'm dying. I think I'm dying. Goodbye.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The podcast features a two-part travel episode detailing a trip to Machu Picchu with Ryan O'Neal, covering the journey, challenges, and cultural experiences.
  2. A major highlight is the visit to Cusco, where the hosts explore local cuisine, including guinea pig dishes, which they describe as delicious and culturally significant.
  3. The trip is filled with unexpected challenges, such as altitude sickness, food poisoning, and unexplained illnesses, which test the travelers’ resilience.
  4. The hosts emphasize local authenticity, from the chaos of juice wars among vendors to the unique customs and daily life in Peruvian communities.
  5. A humorous segment explores Arnold Schwarzenegger’s cigar-smoking reputation, used to introduce a promotional segment for Cigars International.
  6. The episode promotes Cigars International as a top destination for cigar lovers, highlighting its wide selection, customer service, and free shipping.
  7. A strong focus on the journey’s unpredictability and raw experiences, including a group of Dutch tourists who join unexpectedly and add to the comedic and cultural dynamics.
  8. The hosts reflect on the contrast between Western hygiene standards and the realities of life in developing regions, highlighting both challenges and unexpected joys.

Summary:

The podcast presents a lively, humorous, and immersive two-part journey to Machu Picchu with Ryan O'Neal, focusing on the challenges and wonders of the trip. From the initial planning and logistical hurdles to the realities of high altitude, food poisoning, and unseasoned meals, the experience is both physically and emotionally taxing. A major cultural highlight is the visit to Cusco, where the hosts encounter unique local traditions—such as guinea pig cuisine, juice wars among vendors, and the bustling, chaotic market life.

The narrative is enriched by unexpected encounters, including a group of Dutch tourists who join mid-trip, adding both humor and cultural depth. The episode also includes a comedic interlude about Arnold Schwarzenegger and cigars, promoting Cigars International as a leading brand with unbeatable value and free shipping. Throughout, the hosts reflect on the contrast between modern Western standards and the raw, authentic realities of life in Peru, emphasizing both the hardships and the profound beauty of the journey.

The episode is widely praised for its engaging storytelling, vivid visuals, and insightful observations, earning recognition as a top "instant trippy" award nominee for best trip and best pictures. The host also promotes Fabletics as a solution for holiday shopping, offering significant discounts through a code. Overall, the episode blends travel adventure, personal anecdotes, cultural exploration, and light satire into a memorable and entertaining narrative.

FAQs

Because he is known for smoking cigars, which is a key detail highlighted in the conversation.

It offers the largest selection of cigars, unbeatable prices, excellent customer service, and free everyday shipping.

The code 'trippin' automatically applies to qualifying orders at checkout.

Altitude sickness and the difficulty of acclimating to high elevations, especially since the journey starts at around 10,000 feet.

The guide prepares meals using hot stones buried in the ground and covered with grass, hay, and dirt, with no seasoning.

A local rivalry known as the 'Juice Wars of Cusco,' where juice vendors have beef over who sells the best juice and refuse to share customers.

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