The Ringer Fantasy Football League Live Draft

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You'll be proud of what you pack. They'll be happy. They'll be happy to finish it. Fuel their school day with the premium choice Boar's Head. For lunchtime inspiration, visit Boar'sHead.com slash back to school or head to your local deli counter. This episode is presented by Verizon. While you're upgrading your fantasy roster, check out how you can level up your game day with Verizon Shine. Beginning this Monday, August 31st, Verizon customers can win VIP flyaway experiences with their favorite NFL team. Enter on the My Verizon app for your chance to win one of these once-in-a-lifetime trips. Keep checking the app for season-long perks like ticket offers, exclusive merch, and more from Verizon Shine. No purchase necessary for the NFL flyaway sweepstakes. See Verizon Shine for details. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football live draft powered by Verizon. Wow, voice crack, right? Do we have to give them their money back? All right, Verizon, I'll get you back for that later. My name is Danny Heifetz. I am joined here by Chris Ryan, Sean Fennessey, Dave Chang, Joe House, Cousin Sal, Bill Simmons, Craig Ruhlbeck, Danny Kelly, Tate Frazier, Van Lathan, and Mallory Rubin. And we have a great draft here where almost nobody else's voice is going to crack for the rest of the show. And we have some wrinkles ready here, including, you'll notice, no technology, no phones, no laptops. It's per Mallory Rubin's request. I just think that this is fascistic and shameful and contrary to the spirit of the exercise. Fascistic. That sounds like fascist schtick, but it's fine. Wow. So, I get why you're mad, because you came in first place, right? You won last year, despite all the complaining. But unlike you, I like to think about other people and what is best for the collective. Well, I'm glad you said that, because speaking of thinking of other people, and this makes it a little awkward, we actually do have something for you, Mallory. Oh, you're going to acknowledge my title? Yes, so Mallory, you did win, so we actually did get you something. All right. What did you say? We have something for you, and this guy walks off. All right, that's going to be fun. Do I madly lift this? It's a giant head bug. It's a trophy. I think it's a trophy. I'm going to ignore what Bill said. Here we go. Oh. That's a beautiful trophy. Damn. Did this guy win? Did you guys win? This is a great trophy. It's a cup. Holy shit. It's a cup. There you go. So, like you, every year. Whoever wins gets put on that Stanley Cup. And it's going to be a Stanley Cup where she has it for a year, and then assuming this league doesn't collapse and everyone kill us, then you're going to give it back, and you'll name it. This is great. Here you go. You'll be able to drink two cans of cold soup. I would say if Anne wins, no one's going to want it. After that. This is great. And also, there are no bathroom breaks. Thanks, guys. Yeah. Exactly. Great. Wonderful. That's really nice. Beautiful. Thanks, guys. I think that got charged. I would like to appreciate that. Yeah. Actually, Crystal Images gave us a discount. So, don't worry. The other thing, the other wrinkle here, in addition to the no technology by Mallory's request, is we have the pick-your-own-punishment. We're bringing pick-your-own-punishment back, which, again, everyone's so happy about it. Another popular wrinkle. And, again, because we can't get everyone shockingly to agree on a punishment, we're like, you know what? Fuck it. Everyone can pick their own punishment. And we are going to have Cousin Sal be the enforcer this year. Okay. Because it turns out that we have no power over any of you, really, and so Cousin Sal has volunteered, if no one wants to follow through. So, Sal's going to force you to do the punishment that you pick. So, you're going to draft your own punishment in a round, round one, round 17, we don't care. You can take whatever you'll do if you come in last place, and then you have to do that. So, Sal, you'll do us the honor of reading the punishments that people are going to do this year. Actually, before we get to the punishments, Mallory's is not the only award-slash-trophy we're going to give out. We have to acknowledge our guy here, Bill Simmons. Without him, he's on rock. We wouldn't be here. We would be. We would be selling Italian ices on the beach, all of us, right now. He keeps the lights on. He's our champion, and every champion deserves a belt, a championship belt, and so here is your belt. Do you have any idea how to secure yourself in this? Let's go. He's getting consumed. Bill's like, what is this? I've never seen this before. I've never used this. You have to press the buttons. What is this modern contraction? I don't know how they work. Does it lock? You take the one. Oh, forget it. All right. All right. I think if you know. Practice makes perfect, so I think if you're not strapped in when you go to make your pick, if you're not undoing it, I think we have to skip your pick. You've got to be able to do it. I'll strap in every pick. Strapped on. All right. This is great. I've not seen these punishments yet. Is this the last page? It's the last page. It's on the last page of your clipboard. Here's the punishments for today. Okay. All right. Oh, look. I see some of mine made this. Okay. All right. Number one, eat a chapter of Terry Bradshaw's new book. That's not. Did he really write a book? He wrote a book. Each chapter is like four pages, so it's really not that big of a thing. He consumed the pages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's taking your time. A lot of pictures. Dave, will you make it? Will you make the. Oh, that's good. Will you cook the page? Seasoning. Wow. A little marinade. It goes down. I bet you couldn't make it good. Can we get some of that ready now? There's no snacks? Is it like romantic-y? What kind of book is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a Harlequin novel. Yeah, it's nice. Fourth wave. Oldie but a goodie, eat two cold cans of soup of the winner's choosing. This was on last year, right? Yes. Okay. Delicious. I think it was only one can. That's the easiest one. I would do that anyway. I would do that for a snack right now. Everyone eats hot dogs and drinks cold beer while the loser eats hot beer and cold dogs. Ooh, interesting. That's not. Good question about that one. Has the hot dog been prepared and then it sits in the fridge and cools, or it came out of the package? It's out of the package, fully cooked. It's like. Yeah, okay. Cold dogs. Cold hot dogs. Not the animal. Good clarification. Okay, good. All right. Go trick-or-treating until you get 10 items from 10 unique houses before the Super Bowl. Not on Halloween. That's. On Super Bowl Sunday. Absolute nightmare. That was horrible. Okay. That's basically larceny. It gets that. You guys are going to send me into a neighborhood, going door-to-door to people's houses, asking them for stuff. Would you like you could just do that? I would not. I would suggest not taking that one. No, thank you. I've done three of these so far. Come to my neighborhood. There you go. Is this supposed to say vanilla ice? Definitely. Hey, what's up? We like vanilla ice eyebrows slits. There's a lot of slits. Oh, shit. I'm fucking with slits. I would do that. You need to do that. Yeah. I would do vanilla ice eyebrows slits. Well, I'm sure I would do what you want. Yeah. All right. Try a new style. Wear a bald cap and or toupee for four podcasts. Done that. Dude, that's what I'm doing right now. Yeah. I'm on this podcast with one of these people. I like this. Dress as the hungry caterpillar at next year's draft and eat everything it ate in the book. Wow. That's not bad. That also sounds great. That's a fun one. All right. Oh, boy. Listen to Pat McAfee's album on repeat for the entirety of the early slate of an NFL Sunday. That's tough. Let's get the beef started. 45-minute album? Wow. Yeah. No one wants it. That's four plays? On a loop? Yeah, yeah. Four times. How loud does it have to be? Oh, way over the football. Like you can't hear the announcers? No, yeah, yeah. The games are on, dude. You want to do that? Yeah, the games are on. No one knows which one it takes. I like this. Eat Joey Chestnut's hot dog record 76 in 30 days. Sounds like a regular month. Yeah. I think it should be. It's a great day. All right. Basement action on Thursdays. Pigs in the blanket don't count for that. Snatch in the background. Clown car wash. Go on everyone's podcast in full professional clown makeup. Interesting. All right. Nobody's doing that. You cannot watch the Super Bowl live. Instead, you watch a movie of the winner's choosing. You should do that. Oh, wow. Okay. Craig wants Megalovies. Sounds fine. You got it, Craig. And then no punishment. Oh, it's interesting. So you could pick that. For the cowards. So these are, this is supposed to, you're supposed to think about this. If you take this, like if there's a really bad one you want to stay away from, you would choose maybe that instead of Jamar Chase early on. Yeah. Right. Okay. All right. That's a good batch. I'm proud of you guys. Nice work. Craig, Craig did have one other suggestion for a potential punishment. Yeah. Loser has to run this league next year. The worst punishment of all. Having to pick this brief chat. Oh, my God. Okay. So. That felt like a direction. I mean, is now the time to address the end of the league? I mean, okay. Let's talk about it. First of all. The administration of the league last year was a fucking disaster. One of the most missed. mishandled situations i've ever been a part of communication of the rules organization day above the draft clearly announcing what kind of league we were participating in nightmare secondarily the way in which the playoffs and the final loser was determined which was meekly communicated one time disaster you guys failed across the board one of the absolutely most pathetic things i've ever seen in 15 years of working with phil on top of that this year you're still there you guys thought it would be a good idea to set the draft order by randomly selecting golf balls that you would hit at a golf simulator disgusting i thought they know what agreed to that commissioners we rule with an iron fist one of the stupidest things i've ever seen i got the 11th pick the only acceptable outcome to me now is for me to trade picks with craig so that you you and you have the 10th 11th and 12th picks no you're gonna die we're gonna get hit by a car oh you're missing this point made i wore you no points and they got so is the deal that you're over all that if we move i'm gonna complain about a single thing I do want to hear Van saying don't negotiate with terrorists. I'm saying, number one, that was completely worth the price of admission. But at some point, y'all got to drop y'all nuts. It's y'all league. I'm just saying. Until my name goes on the board, I can keep going. This is an honor for you that I'm sitting here. So if you want this to keep going, you can put my name up. If not, then I'm out. Danny. Is Amanda still here? You have Austin Gale right there ready to tap. I've been don't keep everybody gets to complain about what they get, what they want. Labor working in this league. What's going to come next? Real quick. You guys are fucking selling hype. It's all right. You guys aren't saying nuts like y'all jump back to Verizon for the voice, especially DK, because and I love you. You're one of my favorites. We're not supposed to. Have favorites. I mean, enough if anybody, if you hit the ball, if you hit the ball, you got a shitty pick. I hit my ball, so it worked out okay for me. I don't love the four spot, but I'm not going to complain about it. We replaced this with picking names out of a hat. Greg should have hit everybody's ball. No, it's random. Respectfully, it's random either way. It's the same chances either way. But that makes sense of my. Well, Sean wants to support Sean. I'm not actually swapping the order. I personally think the 11 picks better, so I'm totally actually agree with that. Craig wants it totally. Happy. Can I say something? I think that works. Great. Moving on to more important things. Can I say something? Where did we land? I just want to commemorate our official turn into Barstool. It's great to be here. It's a long time coming. It was destiny, I guess, for all of us. And I think you should switch picks. I'm happy to. I'm happy to. Okay. We're switching picks. I'm happy to. Whatever works. That's the type of shit I'm talking about. I need some great fun. Just come into another man's house. Unbelievable. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. I don't want to do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I don't want to do it anymore. That was my idea. I want to do it. Can we get a Netflix poll? I'm just going to write honor on here. It's an honor. It's an honor. It's just an absolute honor. There you go. Are you sure? Is there any one more complaint you want to get off of? No, I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. I've been sitting on that for six months. Hey, guys, I want to say thank you and it's my honor to be here. Thank you so much. You're doing a great job. Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. If Chris doesn't switch with me, I'm going to defecate. Yeah. Why don't we get this done? You and Chris are in bullshit. One more thing. What are you doing? Hearing your grievances. I was asking people around, this group right now, and I feel like we have a majority of people that would rather us do a two-quarterback, non-super flex league than a two-quarterback to QB league instead of this one QB bullshit. I think that's a lucid, well-thought-out, organized question and no. And why? Why? Because he's not even in the group chat. He wants to just do the rules by choice. No. No. That's a one-quarterback. We're going to vote. It's offensive. That's why we can't do this live. I think we're going to vote. No. No. Absolutely not. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. How do you think? I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. You just said you wouldn't complain. He didn't say you had your back. You know it's true. Whatever these guys want. Listen. It's not too late. It's not too late. It's not too late. It's not too late. It is funnier. It is funnier. Where was this last week when I said this? I'll tell you what it was. It was when I was going back and forth with Dave's assistant because I can't even have your phone number. And now you want to change the rules. It's fucking late. Where was that? It was your phone number. Yeah! And if you give me your phone number, we can talk about it next year. I love it. I love it. Yeah! With that said, holy shit, I'm done. I'll switch to Verizon for you. All right? That's a company man. All right. It would be better if we did TQB. No one was prepared for this. It's going to be better content. And I don't care if the rest of the world does 1QB. They're idiots. I love that. And with that said, we're going to start the draft with the one quarterback. Oh, my God. And we're going to go. And you know what? The year of Chris Ryan continues because we're on day 348 of Chris Ryan month. We're going to start with one quarterback, 12 teams, as you can guess. Dave is the new addition. I'm the TQB. TQB. And Dave, you get on two quarterbacks. You do that. Well, I mean, let's call this what it is. So you're not changing it. No, we're not changing it. Respectfully. We're going into the wayback machine. We're doing a full-on Burger Eater draft. There was an email that was days ago that none of you fucking read. That was right. I read the text. You know what? We're doing one quarterback. The email was yesterday. It's not going to be today. Oh, my God. We're going to wrap with one quarterback. It was a good email. Dave, how are your boogers today? Tate, former producer, read the email. I read the email immediately. I read the text. You knew it. No, the symbol. The symbol's on the cross. Again, I think you guys are doing great. CR, I knew it was your ball. You're not going to let it go. We know. Oh, my God. Okay. So the draft was with Chris Salville, Mal Sean, and it's an honor to have you here. How's Tate, Dave, Van, DK, Craig, Danny, Hype. That's me. I don't know why I read my own name. And then one quarterback league, Chris Ryan, you are on the clock. After consulting with my team, I didn't have Tate. He left. But we like to have Tate. We like to have a big coaching tree where my guys go off and start their own franchises. I'm going to take Jameer Gibson. All right. You have to get up out of your chair. Thanks, Bill. Gibson. Gibson. Grab Gibson. CR didn't like the last ten minutes because he doesn't like conflict. No, I'm fine. What does CR have to complain about? He was just like totally, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, brain man. Like, literally, I watched him, he was like over there judging us. And the draft is almost like the flame highlighter. All right, so the draft really begins now. So, Sal, you're on the clock, number two pick. It's like no one good left, doesn't it? We shamed on the Falcons yesterday. You can't take Robinson second. I know, but you know what? You shake things off, don't do it. As the great Chris Berman said years ago before his tuchus became completely impacted into his sternum, here's to you, B. John Robinson. Welcome to Team Sal. All right, we're home. Did he actually say that, Sal? No. I don't know. No, he would have said, B. John, mustard, Robinson. That's pretty good. All right. What do you got? Not Brian. No, you won the league. Why are you so upset? Thrilled to be here with my friends. Go look at your trophy. Absolutely thrilled to be here. That's all. That's all. All right, Bill. You are on the clock. I'm on the clock. Last year we had two Superflex and you thought it was one quarterback, and now it's one quarterback Superflex back to one quarterback. I'm not going to take Christian McCaffrey. You don't have a seatbelt on. Because he was healthy last year and he practices next to an electromagnetic whatever the fuck that thing is. God damn it. First receiver off the board. Jamar Chase. No courage to follow through on your A.J. Brown love. He's not going to make it back to you. You will not. There's no way. This is your only chance. I'll get it later. And I'm definitely not saying that because I pick after you. I was hoping you wouldn't take Jamar Chase. Who's up? I wanted you to take Jamar now. Mallory, you are on the clock at number four. So we got Gibbs, B. John, Chase, one, two, three. It's pretty chalk. How much time is on the clock? Until people start screaming at you. Okay, yeah, yeah. It's just pressure. Peer pressure. It's just pressure. Which mall is above? I'm going to spend the next 20 minutes figuring it out. I told you they're not going to be easy to peel. I knew it. Over here. This is my nightmare. We were worried about this. We were worried about who was going to do this for AARP Corner over here. That's going to be a good one. You can take your two players. I almost took two sticks. On the left side of it. Okay. Okay. All right, Mallory. Now it's ready. On the clock. She's ready. Where are you going? Going. She's following House's lead here and wandering about. Okay. Okay. You need blood flow. She's going to look for the name. So, Mal. I'm ready to make my selection. Okay. What's your thought process here? Last year, I'd say I won the league for a few reasons. Okay. Commitment, tenacity. Bill fucking up and taking Jamar Chase instead of Josh Allen. You know, super flex. Thus, QQB league. Bill cutting Matt Stafford. I really won the league. Who I immediately picked up. Thank you, Bill. I really won the league because of Puka. Wow. Rooting for Puka last season was one of the most joyful fantasy experiences of my life. What about rooting for him in the offseason? Probably second only to the year I got Clayton Kershaw on a fantasy baseball league in his breakout. Because I enjoyed that high, I will not be subjecting myself to this year's low. Someone else can take Puka and enjoy him being in jail. You can't opt into the worst experience of the thing you enjoyed last year. Can't do it. That's one of my memento tattoos. Sort of a fascist pick. Mal's always hated people who walk through paint glass windows at the white party. That's what I was going to do. Sean was prepped for the fifth day. He's been ready for this. He knew what was going to happen. What are you thinking, Sean? Repeats are not endorsements. And I am going to take Puka. Enjoy. That's fine. You like him for his personality. It's a personality. It's the honor of something. It's going to be an honor of something there, really. All right, House, you're on the clock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to go ahead. What lenses are those? Can you see? So many names. Huh? Focus. How's your doing, receiver? He's going to take St. Brown. Wow. I'm on wrong. McCaffrey's falling. We talked about this yesterday. Phil Simmons knows me so well. As he left to escape from Alcatraz. Exactly. You're right there. Plus, I get to get the Sun God. Oh, no, because it's by last name. Yes. All right. Should be. House is taking St. Brown. Put him with the Brown. St. Brown. Yeah. Both of my left houses are raised by my left. He's got one. But your House turnaround will zoom in on you just not being able to do that again. Hold on. I mean, it's good. You know, St. Brown. The stickers would be too hard. Rip it. Rip it. Take the St. Brown. You do it. There we go. You guys are in charge. That'll work. That'll work. All right. I'm on wrong. Official. You tore the sticker? It might be Equinemius. Feels like an ill omen. Ill omen. You did it. Hmm. My favorite part of the draft was CR during the yelling. Yeah. Yeah. I literally sang. I completely sang while I was just waiting to pick two more tips. All off the top of the tolls. St. Brown looks atrocious. Oh, Tater. Oh. Oh, Tater. Oh, Tater. Oh, Tater. Oh, Tater. Oh, Tater. Oh, Tater. Easy money. I'm not worried about the elbow. No, I'm all right. Do you guys want us to talk to you about the picture? Oh, yeah. Oh, you should. So Tate takes Christian McCaffrey. Dave, you. Oh, wow. Dave's just running to the board. You're not worried about the already sore leg, bum leg. No, no. 400 bazillion carries. No, no, no. Dave. Dave. Dave. Wow. Yeah. Great. Dave is on the clock. From a Commander's fan. When you ask the control room, like, can we draft news stories that we want updates on? Because since we don't have. Oh, yeah. I kind of love that. That's a good one. Is this a Pooka watch? Pooka watch. I'm going to do it now. Pooka watch. I read it. Any new discoveries on EMF radiation for Tate and Christian McCaffrey? I don't think there's any. Which one? These are receivers and then running backs. Dave has taken those. Receivers are well. You can see it. Apparently, Pooka's playing golf now and it's kept him under wraps. Pooka's playing golf for a movie that's on. Thank you. I don't even need that. Pooka wears a drink out of the Paul Thomas Anderson concert hall. He's going to be addicted to something. Let's get him a nice membership. As long as he's wearing these alphabetical Pooka with Nick Fenton. That's not some of those other brands. Don't worry. I wasn't surpassed by a man as sportsman. This person with the name things. Yeah, I can't fucking see it. I'm dropping Saquon Barkley. Saquon. Why are you taking Saquon, man? I love him this year. Comeback year. Interesting. Just take Bucky Irvin. You'll be fine. You want to see? Because his uncle is Iran Barkley. Oh, yeah. That's true. What do you like about Saquon? Total badass. This makes me feel better. I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you taking Saquon because of his uncle? Yeah, his uncle. No. This is a fucking talking about. He's the best guy. He's back available right now. Does the best available update at any point or no? Just kidding. Yeah, so we have best available. So we can throw the best available in a moment. That's great. Okay, so Danny Kelly. They said they were going to take him. Oh, yeah, it is. Or no, Gibbs is still up there. Is there any pick so far that you think is highly questionable? Yeah. Let's get some of that classic analysis. Yeah, any surprises so far, guys? This is the first round. Why don't you guys take control of this part of it? Well, classic analysis. Any surprises? It's probably between the guy. I went to rehab and the guy by the substation. It's just generally my speaking. You know, it's usually like, you know, people off my board. But like. The camera at seven feels like a steal, though. I think he is. He's the best player when he plays. He's literally the best player in fantasy history since LaDainian Tomlinson when he plays. We're the most important player to avoid. So, Tate, where are you on the substation and just, you know, radiation? I mean, I'm anti. You're anti. You know. All right. I think he's in there. It's too close to home. I'm talking. I'm taking my boy. Here we go. JT? Mostly so Heifetz can't have him. Derek Henry. Fuck you. Interesting. Adam Lazio. Wow. Okay. I love Derek Henry. What does it feel like to have Derek Henry? He's never going to go off now. I think he's like LeBron. You have to change your perception of the aging thing. It's like I'm watching LeBron throw alley-oops to his son in a playoff series and they win. And I'm like, Derek Henry. Like, oh, he's 32. So, this should have been Sean's pick. But you guys. That's right. I'm taking. Fucking cowards. Most underrated running back. They're bullies. James Cook. There you go. I had him last year. It was delightful. James Cook. So, we're going to put up the best available players there. Literally, I must take him third. Yeah. I'm going to take him fifth. I thought about it. I think that's good. He was really good last year. Are you going to take Rasheed Royce? He was great. I had him on a team. We're going to put up the best available players on the screen. Sean's got my back. So, Sean, you want to help me make these two picks right here? Yeah, sure. That's what I'm really proud of you saying, buddy. Yeah, sure. Should we talk it out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Quinshawn Junkids looks good here. His favorite? And maybe Cam Scadabo for three weeks. What's wrong with Scadabo? DK, who do you think I should take here? I'm not going to listen. I think you're going to take Justin Jefferson. You've been big on him all summer. And you believe in him. Big on him. Yeah. Tyler Murray. Well, you've got to get the receiver. You've got to get the running back list. One of your picks has got to be Justin Jefferson. Tyler Murray is going to be awesome. What about Chase Brown? By the way, I purposely popped that ball together. Be quiet about Chase Brown. DK, can we talk about how DK hit my ball in the long drive thing? One yard. He topped my ball. I can feel it. I mean, you heard it, right? Yeah. Yeah. And Danny, you said that was the fourth time you'd ever spun gold over here. Come on. Like in the last 15 years. Are you all right? I was making fun of you. The stickers are tough. I can't remember the alternative is to go like this. Lawrence Taylor? Yeah. Pick out a cat. No, you guys need to be real. We don't want to have fun. No, it was really fun. I don't know if your mind is like, I don't fucking care, but. Was I on the wrong side? Did you hit my ball last? Was that your last shot? It was my last shot, but it was not the last of the 12. Yeah, because you looked boring. Who did you take? Say your pick out. I'm taking John. I'm taking Taylor. You were running back to the goal. John fucking did it. And that was a stock driver. Yeah. If I had my own. I don't hear the guy on Taylor. I found her. It's on Taylor. It's on Taylor. Yeah. What are your guys' thoughts on this, like, no. On Taylor. Zero RB or three wide receivers. Like not taking a run back? I don't know. I usually feel like if you have good running backs, that's the easiest way to win in fantasy. Yeah. Speaking of which, I'm just going to go down with the ship here. And I'm going to, you know what? I'm doing something insane. Are you really? And I'm going to just take a Mary Hampton as well, which is probably a terrible fucking idea. Here we go. Oh, it's probably a terrible idea. That's a great pick. But I'm just going with beef. I'm going with running backs. You guys should use this opportunity with Chang actually here to talk about the veal chop thing because this was your veal chop thing and you didn't understand it. Can we finally get some clarity? Unlike Apex Mountain. See, Chang's going to get mad now. I'm going to host this. You're in fantasy bad. Now Chang's going to get mad. Why? Why is he going to be mad? Because this veal chop thing really makes Chang mad. We're coming back around. Most of the food takes the rare wings. No, do people have personal red lines that they make across? I don't draft people from this team, etc. No, the opposite. The opposite. There's no allies. There's no enemies. You just take who's ever there. I don't like to draft free bins because then I'm doubly miserable if they let me down. Publish a report saying that the best food is rare wings. I get it. No cowboys, no eagles. He takes neighbors and makes the neighbors taste as if they see I'll give nothing to one of them. If the bagels are destroying the ravens, I won't benefit from it. It's one of the worst. These folks actually have a lot of Yankees on my keeper team. Yeah, it's an emotional hedge. You have to hedge. Self-preservation. The stickers, I was making fun of the boomer corner over there, but I mean, Jesus Christ. Boomer corner's crazy. That's not the name of the corner. I don't like this. But no gray beard, silver t-shirt. I'll wear it. Bill's going to pull a show on here in two minutes. I can't see. I'm taking Chase Brown on the bangles. If my Viagra falls. Yeah, you got to announce your pick. Chase Brown. Who are you taking? Chase Brown on the bangles. Why? Why? Another kind of just boring underrated guy that if he was a first round pick in real life, he would be more, he would be taking the first round. They're throwing backs in a row. Ben's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a very running back heavy. And it's seven in a row. Danny Cole. Running. Running to the stage. Oh, your guy. Yeah, your guy. Ken Walker. Yeah. If I just taken Ken Walker, you would have traded him for Derrick Harris. I really thought I was an emotional pick. Yeah, you're pulling for him. I love Walker. I was really torn between Brown and Walker. Super bowling. Very strange so far. Which one of the receivers? These are the receivers right here who I want. Positions, where's it say? Running backs are falling. Why'd you take Ken Walker other than you love the Seahawks? Because I love him. I love him so much. Now we're already in the top. Why are so many running backs being taken? Because I think he's going to get a lot of volume in Kansas City. He's been very big for them on their show. I know, I'll take him. When does Chad pick him? I mean, I guess that's the answer. We don't really know. He could play with one people. I have a trophy. Who are you taking? Justin Jefferson. God damn it. That's a good pick. Yeah, that's a really good one. Right before you. Right before you. But I got something for you guys. OK. Here he comes. I'll assume that we can't buy him. Oh, I bet I know what you're going to do. I'll find him for you. Talk about LSU and why you like Justin Jefferson. I'll find you the guy. Does Justin Jefferson have any eligibility left? Oh, interesting. We can get him back. Yeah, we can get him back. Oh, that's A-plus. Thank you. There's a guy named Van Jefferson. You could have him, too. Yeah, he went to Florida, right? He's a Redskin now. He is, yeah. He's on the Banders. God damn it. Take that back. I feel like we apologize to the camera. This is great camera work. We just have a line of people waiting to drop. David Chang, who do you like? This is for Bill Simmons. I'm going to take a G brand. Oh, shit. There we go. Bill. Sorry, Bill. Bill. I'm taking him. I'm taking him because I don't want Bill to have any joy. Bill, you look legit. You don't want anyone to have fun? No. No, I don't like doubling on my DNA. Did you take a kid with Walker? I did. DK. Yeah, DK. Loves him. A.J. Brown. Bottom left corner. Tate's up. A.J. Brown to Chang. Boom. Tate should take. I don't know why he's still on Philly. There we go. Who's next? So-- Okay. Jen, take a look at her. My whole team is her, and I'm like, they'd be so good. So, Dave, you're a Washington fan, and you start with CeeDee Lamb and A.J. Brown. Does that make you feel a little disgusting inside, to have like-- No, not when I win. Yeah. Fantasy, you don't see. I have Cam Schlittler as my best day out keeper. What is going on? That thing says film, man. I know. I don't care that it's a cat. Where are we? This is from last year's. That guy loves a cat. Why? I'm a little disgusted that I drafted CeeDee Lamb. I pressed it out in front of A.J. Brown. The Stickers have a tough memory. I was hoping Chang would draft Ole Meats, but he stopped at Lamb. It's only Lamb. Ole Meats. Okay. Who's up? Tate is up now. So Tate is on the clock. Tate's trying to figure out which injured player he should take action. Yeah. Tate's got a player. You can take Ashton Gentry. I see what he's doing. He actually is taking an injury. I feel good about this. Injury-proof receiver now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Now, in Tate's defense, last year during this draft, Tate, you were drafting, and you took Drake May in a super flex draft, second round. Everyone made fun of you. Oh, yeah. I got so-- Stop it. I like that. Chris was in the finals. Literally, Chris's team went to the championship because Tate drafted him. I don't know. Or he lost. We're taking the Saints. I'll swing. But where did you text to me? I had to look at the numbers. Congratulations. You know what I mean? That's pretty terrible. Look at the colors in the green. The anxiety in the green. Yeah, I had to find the colors. OK. Who would wear the tight ends? Ooh. Tight ends. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Rug powers? Rug powers. No, no, no, no, no. No, not the powers. You want McBride? You want McBride? You want McBride? You want McBride? McBride. Oh, shit. Oh, Dalton Sharks? I already crossed out McBride. I'll find Trey McBride for you to tell me. Who's throwing the ball to McBride? I don't know. And it really didn't matter last year. That's true. So I'm just taking the-- Here, house. Here's the sticker. --biggest stud tight end-- Carson Beck. --at this point. Carson Beck. Put him in. Now he becomes Sticker Guy. Carson Beck would be great. Yeah, fuck. I've been to the Sticker Guy. There we go. That's what happens. Nice pick. I'm taking Josh Allen. Oh, wow. Here we go. Here we go. OK. Interesting. Now we've got to get one. Give me a run. Let me see if I can find him on this list. It is, right. It is. Can I ask why, since you're a Jets fan? Yeah, full disclosure, I played him twice this year. Yeah, I'm excited about that. You've got to lose as many games as possible. Because I want to watch a team that I really enjoy watching. Now I watch Chase Brown and Chris Olave. And you're like, all right, this is fine. I want some fucking stars on my team. Yeah. Josh Allen is a star. Like Puka Nakua, who I think is probably not a good person, but is an excellent receiver. Star. Josh Allen should be so honored that you drafted him. He's doing all right. Hailey Steinfeld, you know, $45 million. Give me a fucking second. Come on, Mal. I'm deciding between two things. First two rounds. Oh my god. OK. This is a fucking mess. All the balls are on Netflix shows. So if the F-bomb's been dropped how many times in 20 years? 100 F-bombs. Yeah. I mean, they tell you they're Hiltonian. Are we supposed to be watching that? Yeah. No. No. We send you over. We're not supposed to be hearing it. I don't think so. Oh, they took us off the air like 20 minutes ago. I know from Netflix, for a season of like 10 episodes, you can only do four F-bombs. I'm mostly doing this to hurt hyphens. You're going to lose the kid rating. You go straight to F-bomb. But we're not kid rating. We're not kid rating. We're fine. Sorry. Did you have to stay below that? We tried. Did you fail? We had to go all the way up. They were pissed because the algorithm makes it so less people are going to see your show. Oh. If you curse it. Oh. That's why it was a big deal. Anyway, Valerie, who are you taking? Brock Bowers. I will be taking Brock Bowers. That's great. He's good. I love those words. I am perfectly content, to Chang's earlier question, to punt on running backs completely. Amen to that. This is a tight end, flexed three receiver league. I'll be going all in on pass catchers. And your favorite player, who you didn't take, even though you could have. So it feels extra sweet for me to have him and get to benefit from your pain. No surprise that she's-- You're also one of my favorites. All right. Bill. You guys, I listen to your show, and you guys have said on every single podcast for three months, you get one of the first, maybe just the first tight end, which I would say I got, not you. I think this is a good spot for Bowers now. It's a really good spot. I would have taken him, but I think that's perfect. Yeah. I feel great. I hate my team. Christian McCaffrey, Chris Alawi. Who's going to play for you? I know. Yeah, your job starts now. I'm going to start taking. Joel's doing the punishment for me, so-- What position you on, Bill? You have nothing to lose. Yeah, I have nothing to lose. Is anyone thinking about taking a no punishment, sir? No. No. Man, you were thinking about that. Only people who are afraid to lose take punishments. Exactly. Bill's going to take two thirds of those, or the like of those. I think Bill's going to take eight. He's a strong guy, by the way. I'm going to not only say, could I, but I'd happily-- No, no. It's not even 10, right? He's going to be the enforcer, man. We should just do that. He's going to be the enforcer. Exactly. That's my guy already. I'm having a dog right now. Yeah, OK. What do we got? Ash and Gentsy. So-- We had to do it. Bill, you took Ash and Gentsy. Risky. Risky. He has an ankle sprain that's been described as more low than high, which to me means bold. The team gathered around him in fear. They had a big break. Because he's in more than a quarter of the market, and people had a prayer circle around them. Prayer circle Gentsy. Practice. Home run pick. What pick is that? 21? Yeah. 22? 22. Yeah. If it was two weeks ago, he goes like fifth. Yeah. 15th? He goes to fourth. Sixth. Seventh. Sorry. Why do you take Tom into account? Two weeks ago. Two Raiders in the top 25. That's really bad. We should be telling Bill, great pick. Great pick, Bill. Great pick, Bill. Good job. I don't need congratulations. We're not. We're just-- Did you guys lose? Yeah. Oh, we beat him. We beat him. Bad, though. What? Have you guys? Did you guys lose? No. No. I thought Mendel's looked really bad yesterday. I mean, I don't think he's going to play for a while. Austin Gayle is going to Kool-Aid man his way through to tackle you. Kirk Cousins gets hurt. Oh, sorry. No, it was between two guys, but now Van's in my head about researching the relatives of some of these people. And it turns out-- George Pickens' uncle works at a yogurt land in Encino, and that's good enough for me. What about his dad? Good pick. Incredible. Back-to-back picks are just right on the clock. All right. You can think about it. I don't think Fernando Mendoza, I don't think he's going to play early, just because I do think that Tom Brady is running the football there, and I just think Tom Brady cares so deeply in his soul. I agree, though. He looked shaky. I thought he looked bad. I was surprised. Pulled a muscle in my back lifting that trophy. I was worried about you. I'm in a lot of pain right now. You all right? Thankfully, I had asked for a lumbar support pillow, anticipating just such a bout of physical agony. Let's go. Wide receiver one. Devontae. Devontae Smith. I like that you put him in the second place. That's an interesting pick. He doesn't go underneath any of these guys. We have an Eagles fan taking second place. An Eagles fan taking Eagle. I know. That's a. Which is why I'll be taking Aaron Rodgers in the third round. I assume Bill will be taking May. You got Devontae Smith. Wait, where are we at on Devontae Smith and the Eagles this year? In theory, it sounds great. I show speed, lock him up. I show speed is legit, dog. I don't know who the fuck is going to pass to Drake. I just don't know who the fuck is going to pass to Drake. - It's Greg's spot. No. No, Danny. He's in his spot. Where he belongs. You quite literally put Craig in the corner. Whatever makes people happy. We put that to bed. That issue is closed. I will be sticking to my guns and I will be reaching too early probably for the best player on the bears. Cool. Best player on the bears. That was my fourth choice for best player on the bears. Do you want to wax political Luther Bird while I make two picks right now? What's wrong with his groin? He's back. He tweaked it. It should be fine. I'm not worried about it. He looks good out there. I saw him jogging. How'd it look? Pretty smooth. No limb. Smooth gait. Did he cut? Yeah, sure. Now we're on a receiver. Hyver says back to back. You'll be taking. Taking who? I'm going to make some fucking mistakes right now. This is where I'm like when I look back and I'm like dressed as the hungry caterpillar next year. This is where it's all going wrong. That's not what you're dressed like right now. That shit. Wow. To be clear. Like that? Shit. God damn. This is where it's like. God damn. God damn. I'm in a house house with Don Rickles. Jalen Waddle. There you go. Oh, man. Oh, that's hard. I know. What a relief. Thank God someone else took it. I know. This is where it all goes wrong for me. But. And then, honestly, this is a guy that I don't know if it's the best pick right now, but I just. To Val's point, I fucking love watching this guy play football and it's T. Higgins on the Bengals. T. Higgins has three games a year where you're just like that guy is the best player. This is crazy. Just draft T. Higgins. You're not going to be. He lost it way too long. Take Mike Evans. That's what happens when you have a two quarterback league. I just love T. Higgins so much. Wonderful. So, okay. So, through three rounds, I'm curious. Of all the teams, I actually. Van, I feel like. How do you feel? Because Saquon, Justin Jefferson, Malik Nabors, if he's healthy, does kind of leap off the page, Van. How are you feeling? It's like room for LSU, man. I'm feeling great. I ran Barkley's nephew. What is this? Who is this? I was a boxer. He was a boxer. I ran Barkley's nephew, Justin Jefferson, Malik Nabors, man. Nabors is healthy. I think he's going to have a great season. Seriously. Are you just going to throw him the ball? Are you sure? Okay. I feel like that should be in the notes, that it's Irem Barkley. I should change the sticker. Yeah, that's true. All right, Craig. Craig, who are you taking here? Jameis Bowles on the ball. Kind of torn. Drew Aller. Drew Aller's on the board. Jeremy. Drew Aller's on the board, Craig. Drew Aller looks really good. He was dealing. He was dealing. He was dealing. He's against the Jets' fourth string secondary. All right. Let's do the Torrey Pass. Come on, Aller. Hand me the quarterback. Oh! Oh, shit. Are we ready? Drink, man. We're ready. We're ready. It's about to start. Let me tell you something, Craig. It's about to start. It's a fancy team. Wow. Drew Aller's right there. He's the first name on the thing. It looks good. Where's the M? Yeah. Wow, he is taking Drake May. That's awesome. That's not going to happen. Oh, man. That's not about to happen. That's a great pick. Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, incredible pick. Okay. Incredible pick. What a kiss, man. I'm surprised. What a kiss. What a kiss. What a kiss. What a kiss. Bill, what do you think? Good pick? Another Tar Heel off the board. I wouldn't have taken him just because I have too much at stake. Yeah. You think Drake May's going to be incredible this year? Oh, yeah. He's going to be so good. AJ Brown's going to be incredible. Like, legitimately incredible. Sal, should Drake May be a part of AJ Brown being incredible? Okay. Craig, come on back. Do you actually feel good about this? My bad. My bad. Do you actually feel good about this, Craig? I feel okay. I feel okay about it. He's trying to start the quarterback run. We can put Craig. We can put Craig's team on the board, I believe. We have James Cook, Chase Brown, Luther Burden, and Drake May. It doesn't jump off the page, but by week eight, I'll feel real good, I think. I feel like you're talking yourself into that. Here's my worry. By the time we come back, I think all the quarterbacks are going to be gone. That was my fear. And I didn't want to get stuck with Kyler Murray. Especially when I take seven in a row. This is my last position player before I start my quarterback. Where do we land on the quarterback thing? I was going to say, should we take a vote? It says maybe one. I'm doing something weird here. Because this guy's been in our burn book three out of the last four years. DJ Moore. DJ Moore. DJ Moore, receiver for the Buffalo Bills. You famously hate. You hate him. You're showing up on Sunday with 10 million. DJ hated Caleb Williams. You're buying into that theory. What's that? You're buying in that he hated Caleb Williams. I think it was much of a theory. I can tell. Quarterback run starts now. Oh, Aaron Nussmeyer. He's got the brown. He looked good. He's got. Are you taking Burrow? Joe Burrow. Are you really? Are you kidding me? I love advanced strategies. You just take the best players. This is what. He's got a good stack there. Joe Burrow. He's the LSU player. This is pure fandom. I love it. I like that. It's not pure fandom. It's pure heart. You guys never loved me until you're like, I love LSU, Ted. He's my goat. Van, I'd actually be curious to hear you. College football fandom versus NFL fandom. Just the love. Well, for me, I will say there's a couple of NFL teams that are different. But for me, in Baton Rouge, this is like the red one. This is the lifeblood. I'm sorry. It's a cultural thing. I was hoping you were going to say. From New Orleans. From Shreveport. From Monroe. And you like know their stories because you know who they are. You know who their uncle is. You know. All right, Dave, you were taking. Oh, wow. Okay. Speaking of that. Travis Achan. He changed his name. Achan? Achan. Can you do it again? It's not Etienne. It's Achan. No, it's Achan. It's Achan. It changed his name. I think the Clemson coach couldn't say his name. That's going to be too much for me. You can't have two Achans. I think call him Etienne. Etienne is very close to Etouffee. That's what I was thinking. And he's in a city that I think is maybe the best culinary city in America. Oh, wow. A lot of these foods will be cooked. What would be the other ones? Which ones would be, like, close? Because everybody would default to say New Orleans is, like, almost easy. But, like, what else? What else? New York. I mean, New York. New York. Obviously, New York. I mean, I have to say San Francisco. I don't want to, but I do. L.A., of course. Oh, L.A. is up there. Yeah, for sure. Okay. What's the fifth city you named for? Chicago? What's 12th? Oh, yeah. You know what? Philadelphia. Not because he just said. Oh, wow. I was going to say Philadelphia, the most underrated food city in America. He's like, why? Because it has everything. And more importantly, people can take chances. Everything's just not vanilla. What? The one thing with Philly that I feel like we need to get to the bottom of. Okay, you're going to miss the Tar Heels game tomorrow. That's not true. But you don't need burgers, man. It's a city of sandwiches. No, it's not. It's every city should have a great burger. I understand. But if you're just looking for protein. Bah-bah. Bah-bah. Bah-bah. It takes Lamar Johnson's take. What's the iconic burger? No, the sandwiches. Oh, yeah. How is he talking about food? I don't think he's upset by that one. It's fine. It's fine. You're getting your beef sandwiches. He didn't get a beef. It's a herniated disc. Herniated disc. My whole team will be in. Why did it take you so long to pick Lamar? He couldn't find it. Yeah, I couldn't find it yet. It was a lot of lag. I always did the quarterback. I wanted to pick the quarterback. I'm like, Lamar has got it for me. You sure? Yep. You sure? Yes. You're a lawyer. Because the reports yesterday suggest that he is being charged with two misdemeanors. Who's this? Neither one of them. Josh Jacobs. Right back to the package. I was right there, but I didn't know the update. And now I'm going to remind everyone that we're live. He was not charged with a felony. He was charged with two misdemeanors. That's all. Can you go on the commissioner's list? You could. Like Pooka. Probably. It's possible. Pooka probably. It's possible. All right. Well, I wonder who's going to play running back for house. Josh Jacobs is suspended. But yeah, Sean is on the clock. It's got to be Bresol. Oh. Bresol. Bresol. Does he hurt? Is it the arse? Right. Does Bresol hurt? Wrong team. Garrett. Cam Scattle. Cam Scattle. It's because he wants to have a great team. He said he wants to watch great players and great teams. Was he just shitting this guy in a majority? His whole team is headhunting him right now. He's just trying to hurt Dan. Drafted Corky from Life Goes On. Why did this just happen, Sean? Where is he on the list? Is he like 140? Didn't you not say like one round ago, you're like, I want great players and great teams. So the Giants are a great team. That's why. You just want like legends and heroes. I didn't say great players and great teams. I said stars. Oh. He's a star. Can't fight that. That's pretty. I don't know. I'm just kind of showing friends. Speaking of truth. One and a half stars. Okay, Mal. Come on now. Mallory Rubin's on the clock. She's going to take the slow walk up. Mal, you took Ibuka, Brock Bauer's, JSN. You were also saying you want great players to watch. We should have done an ad during Mouse Pick. Oh! Like a 90-minute lap. 90-second ad. It's powered by Verizon. This is brought to you by State Farm. Still no running back from now. Are you going to go Jaden? Absolutely not. Long walk back to the seat. So what exactly happened to your back that you actually can't stand? So I've actually, I've been dealing with some back pain because I'm getting old and some hip pain. I turned 40 in three weeks. So it's all downhill. And, you know. Wait, what do you do if it's where the little binder ring is? Give it to Danny. Bottom left, man, bottom left. And just pull it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to be standing right here. It is going to rip here, yeah. I'm going to just very carefully. Justin Herbert? I am. Don't you think it's a little too easy to take the QBs in? I'm continuing my strategy of taking players who I'm excited to watch and who I think are going to be strong offenses other than powers, obviously. And just the ascendancy is here for Herbert. It's time. I don't care about Herbert's glow up and just everything happening. Let the guy fucking fall in love with the hot chick. It's fine. Yeah, find McConkie. He's not going to make it back to me. I'm taking him here. Yeah, find McConkie. That's a good pick. I'm not waiting for guys that want to fall to me and then being sad they didn't. Oh, you're making it fast. I like it. I'm not going to do it. I like it. I just wouldn't have. I told you my strategy. I'm going to take seven QBs. How many of them will you cut in week one so that the other people can pick them up and then win? We didn't talk enough that he literally cut Stafford and she got the Pooper Stafford stack. He looked like he was hurt. It was just a wonderful experience. It was incredibly incredible. Every week, 45%. Every single week brought me joy. But you've contributed to my life in a lot of ways. I've got to say I feel great about my team. I'm going to take either Colston Loveland or Tyler Warren and I'm trying to decide because I love both of them. You think about it. He's too involved with the Bears and the problem is I don't want to root for anyone on the Colts because I think they're going to suck. Yeah. So I'm going to take Colston Loveland. It's a problem. I think that's a good choice. I honestly can't believe you're still here. Thank you, everybody. That's fair. I think that's a good pick. That's a 46 pick or something. That's pretty good. You stabbed me in the heart. I like three of Bill's four picks. You wanted them? Oh, yeah. Okay. We love them. We love Colston Loveland this year. We felt like it's going to a trendy place and there's a long line. It was like the price of them is so expensive. But Colston Loveland 46 is going to be high. Stay and watch the ice cream. The whole, I can't believe you're still here. It's such a dirty thing. Did we all screw up? What did we do? I am going. Where's Blue? Yeah, there we go. The colors and stickers have really defeated this league. Wait a minute. Something to work on for next week. Can we accept criticism? Can we run a Netflix poll on people? I might not like this. I don't like any of these players. Let's run a poll on, because like millions of people staring at my ass right now, right? Millions. That's great. I'm going to get that to stick. Oh, yeah. This to stick. Good player. Rome. Welcome to Team Sal. I'm right there. Thank you. Romadunze. How are we feeling about the foot? Romadunze. You know, the new normal of like the bone callus thing. Oh, Chris is feeling great. Chris knows exactly what he wants. He's up. Because he waits for 20 minutes to make his picks. No thoughts on Romadunze. He wants to get his foot from the group. Okay. Tyler Warren. Tyler Warren. Good pick. Good pick. Tyler Warren tied in from the Colts. Sal took Tyler Warren last year in the fifth round. And we all made fun of him. And then the first half of the season, Sal looked like a genius before he just absolutely cratered. And did you even make the playoffs? I did not. No. I don't know. That's a rarity. You almost always make the playoffs in everything. I mean, his team was really-- I think I gave him like six of them. I wasn't in the losing bracket. You saw it in your medium. Yeah. He's one of the best fantasy players I've ever played with. Thanks, man. I have no trophies, but I mean, this-- One of the best players you've ever played with, and he's never won a league? He wins a lot of fucking leagues. You taking Caleb? I'm taking Caleb because I want to cheer for someone with a fancy arm like that. Yeah. It's just, you know, it's just fun to be on the program. I'll tell you what. I was thinking about Hurts. I had Hurts in fantasy. Like Mal said, it just doesn't feel good if it's not. It's a lot of them. So because you're an Eagles fan, double the misery. I love him. I've watched like-- Chris, your team's fun. Yeah. So are you admitting that it's not fun watching Jalen Hurts right now? No, I'm admitting that it's not fun having him on your fantasy team. Because you're an Eagles fan. If he's like, I've thrown for 95 yards. Fuck you. We won. That's good for me, but it's not good for my fantasy team. I can't have that. All right. Really good. Pause. OK, so Sal on the clock. Sal, you have B. John Robinson and Devon A. Chan running back. And you got Pickens and a Dunzai. Oh, yeah, OK. Another receiver. I'm starving. I can't believe there's no snacks. No pizza. Donuts. Donuts. They're right outside the door. Now snack on this. You're going to get the flowers. It's not my team. I'll trade you for the trophy. He's on yours. Enjoy your three touchdowns to your ass. Four if you're lucky. Snack on this. I mean, in the most respectful way. Respectfully, of course. It's more than a Moose Boosh. More than a Moose Boosh? There's always a moment when it becomes clear that there's only one actually funny person at this whole company. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. That's very nice. Snack on this. So true. Who's up? Bill's up. I was up. Phillip. Don't do it. I feel like-- Don't do what? I like how many pages you're ripping through to find a player. There's an obvious pick here for Bill, I think. There's a guy that I want. I'm worried. He's talked to this team all week. He needs a quarterback. Yeah, take a quarterback. Sam Darnold? Yeah. Do that. What's wrong? No. No. Tate's just fucking sick of this. He went outside to use his computer and look some stuff up. I didn't call Joel. He said he hates the team. Yeah, wait. So you're co-managing this with Joel. Yeah, Joel Anderson is also-- How many picks have we made? Not enough. Like 50? Exactly 50. Speaking of which, yeah. This is going on here. 51 or something? Exactly 50. Yep. It's always one off. I don't love this pick, but I think he's going to win. I think he's going to win. I think he's going to have a good year, and I need somebody safe, because I like my team. Where's the running backs? Running backs? Jeremiah? Damn it. I know you're good. I like that House and Bill just know exactly who each other is. I swear to God. Say his name. I swear to God. No. I don't know what he's going to do. Don't speak his name. If he doesn't take him, I'm picking him. Not yet. Don't say whose name. Don't worry about it. Maybe Swift. Bob Craft. James White. That was just good. You're not allowed. We're all set right now. You can't talk about that. We'll end this whole thing. We're not drafting. We're not drafting. No. The Brady roast. He's like, we'll just end it. I literally was sitting here. David Montgomery. Boring, but solid pick. I like that. Here's my reasoning. I think Texans are going to win this year. I really like the Texans. I think they're going to have the lead all season. I just think he's going to have like 15 touchdowns. You're a motherfucker, because that's literally who I was going to take. The exact same rationale. 1,100 yards, 15 touchdowns. Exactly right. One of the worst red zone efficiency teams in the NFL finally has a running back that can get them down and down. They just have no line. It's fine. They're going to be inside the free. It's fine. Do we have a free 10 for Bill? We should have. We should have. Maybe one problem. Mallory would be in there. It would be a cue. Like the draft. Mallory would be in there with their back. I could get some ice and like a heating pack. That would be great. All right. Injury concerns. It's fine. Shitty offense. Doesn't matter. I wanted them. Jeremiah. The sentence is late enough. Yeah. Exactly. Point round. And I waited on running backs. Now I have a high upside. I couldn't do that with Genty. To reward my stress. Only two running backs with ankle injuries. That would be. Yeah. The upside is fucking nuts. I got to say I feel great about my team. Yeah. It looks good. I missed on that one. Oh my God. Okay. Where are you going, Sean? Okay. Sean is up. Go, Sean. QBs. 100 catches. Oh. I know. Oh. I think he might miss his fire. I was going to take that. Sean, where are you out on the Jets this year? Geno Smith back. Five wins. 3500 passing yards. 30 touchdowns. 26 interceptions for Geno. 26? 26. They're going to throw the ball all over the place. He's going for Jameis. He's going for Jameis' 30-30 record. Frank Reich is the OC. I'm feeling it, Sean. It's a run on the Jets, baby. Yeah, man. Oh my God. I thought he already dropped it. I know. I think so, too. I thought he dropped it. They're going to suck. But their offense is going to be kind of good. I know. I know. You can get Mike Evans running to the podium. Mike Evans with the pass. I have to get another running back, and I have one in mind. You don't have to do anything. It's all in your heart. I have one in mind. Running back's dropping off a cliff right now. I don't know. Are they? Well, I had two running backs week 11, so I had to get another. You know why? Because it's serious. I don't even understand. Yeah. They're freaking trying to throw Mallory's tee up. Yeah. We're streaming live. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. You know why? Did you know that there was bagels out there? Are there really? I might get some. Well, Mallory's the running champion. Oh, of course. Oh, wow. The best running back of the day. Oh, interesting pick, Tate. I like that pick, Tate. That's awesome, Tate. I like that pick. I was thinking about that. I thought about him. Tate, great pick. I thought about it, too. Thanks, guys. Tate's the only positive one here. You and Matt. Yeah. Everybody's so. Holy shit. That pick by Tate. Whoa. Tate, great pick. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Holy shit. That pick by Tate. Whoa. It was unbelievable. Tate, great pick. Tate, great pick. Tate, great pick. Tate, great pick. I'm going to rattle about that Tate pick. I'm rattled. Tate, great pick. Tate, great pick. Tate, great pick. He needs it. He needs it. What's your favorite part of Cleveland this season, Dave? I always wanted him. I like the hot dog. Oh, yeah at the baseball. What's like? What do you think you're playing in poverty don't you like? Crabs are good drops. They're like, okay. Yeah, I'm thinking Bucky done Bucky Bucky I'm worried about Kenny Gainwell, but that's what I was worried about. I Think Judkins is like a great individual player, but like between you so I thought you're gonna say individual person. Well It's wasted on the young and then What a strange group Of seven running Like the best of those Four, I think you didn't price in the success. They're gonna win. That's what I think. No tape tape Really? I really seriously thought about him. Yeah, it's a great big Texan Because I feel like the NFL missed on him but he was like he was better in college than he was like he was small I don't mind that I don't want seven to eight sexy, but good pic. I'll pick There's a cliff at running back right now We just dropped off a cliff We're officially in tootin range. Yeah Okay, Craig. This is probably gonna kill me James Cook chase Brown Luther Bird and Drake may Rico dad. Oh We go down a range. Yeah drew out quarterback run Sean's gonna take you a couple rounds away from Rico dental range, I think You I got a rip the stamp. Yeah, Brandon. Are you cuz on the Real estate ask you what did you think of Brandon? Are you buying a ten million dollar house and selling it for eight million dollars eleven days later? What a what a backhand I'll take the cup of it I'm gonna take Devonta Adams. All right. Wow. Okay, that's a good pick sir. All right. Well, I'm gonna fuck it back Hey, I actually destroyed Craig's heart right now, and I know exactly here you were thinking about taking you're taking your LBJ And Rogers you're doing yeah, you gotta get the stack. That's what it's all about. Yeah. Are you taking that calf? I've never not with a ten-foot pole. No If it doesn't know Steelers rule this year, I'm gonna just this I'm just sick of the Steelers, man I hate watching him play. It's like you can't predict. We don't care. Just put a sticker Who is sick of the Steelers? I'm sick of the Steelers, man. I hate watching them play. We don't care. Just put a sticker. Who is sick of the Steelers? I'm sick of the Steelers. I'm taking Christian Watson and Mike Evans. Mike Evans and Christian Watson. Okay, sweet. I don't know if that warranted all the preamble. Craig. Craig. Yeah. It's so funny the old guys in the fantasy draft where It's just gonna end up being a good pick again Mike Evans. It's been three years in a row. We're like ah, I don't know. He's like ten injuries already. Fucking barely played last year. No, but he had like seven eight weeks where he was awesome At number 60. That's a pretty good number. Yeah, if you add those two guys together, you'll get 17 games out of them. That's what I'm saying. Exactly. And people went nuts saying he wasn't. I don't see how he could be. He's definitely a Hall of Famer. It's like eight seasons in a thousand yards. Like a hundred touchdowns. I don't see how he couldn't be. It's not even close. He won a Super Bowl. We were saying Tony Quimbal is a Mike Evans merchant. Danny, walk us through your strategy. Four receivers so far. So it's just, honestly, I think, Mel, you were right when it's like a three receiver league and people, like, the Superflex, it's obvious, like, a quarterback can go first overall if he has two starters, but people don't think as much if you go from two receivers to three that there's more demand. It's like a 12-team league with three receivers that's 36 starting receivers every week plus the flex. So I kind of just want to get running back out of the way so you guys have to do this shit and just take Judkins and Bucky Irving and then that way I'm just kind of, one of these guys won't suck. I think one of these guys will pop and it's just a volume thing of like, he'll probably, one of these guys won't suck. One of these guys will break my heart, one will be good, two will be average. Respect for the Bucky Irving. Are you taking Parker Washington? Just taking Parker Washington. Nah, nah, I'm taking Parker Washington. Are you kidding me? Take Parker Washington. I'm surprised he made it this far given the obsession. That was a great pick. Getting sniped over here. Around the right range. So where are we on Parker Washington and Brian Thomas? Actually, Van, what do you think of Brian Thomas having an amazing season? Yeah, Terry defense. He'll be taking him in a few picks. I'm actually not going to take him, but I think the best is still to come from him. I think a lot of it was in his head. I think he's actually physically more gifted. Scary Terry. He came away more impressed. That was like a run ball pick. That's the first time you fucked me up. Are you going to take him? I was about to take him. The fact that you won't take him is foreign. That's good. Nah, I have to take him. I am taking him. Brian Thomas? Yeah. Brian Thomas Jr. I was going to say Terry Mack. You can just say anything. I kind of think his last pick should be Van Jefferson. That's a fucking Florida guy. I kind of hate his guts. What do you think of Tank Bixby? I was going to say Terry Mack for my people. He's such an underrated receiver. Yeah. I love him, but I have to go with DTJ now. So Tank knows what he wants. Did you avoid your fifth pick on LSU out of respect for Jim Daniels? Yeah. I should have. I think Tank's been the MVP with making picks so far. He knows he's on the clock. He's moving toward the list. He's moved away. It's like he's running the kitchen right now. It's kind of terrifying seeing how many picks we have left. It's unbelievable. What time is it? You're going to be terrified. That's not terrible. 9:30? It's respectfully facedown. You guys realize that half of it is just like this situation right here. Just like the actual stickers. It's the stickers. We just thought adults could do stickers. Thank you. The good news is it didn't work last year, so we did it again. He's not going to do that. Dave, you took Jamison Williams to the line. I like that pick. That would be great. Oh, that's right. I like Jamison Williams as your fourth receiver. For the same reasons you're saying. The run-on receivers. It's easier to find a running back during the season than it is a top-quality receiver. Yes. Once the receivers run out, they don't really -- This is going to be the end. Stop. Are you serious? It finally happened. Kyle! Kyle! You were going to do that? Oh, my God. I can't wait to see his reaction. Why? Because I just believe, you know what I mean? I see the potential. It keeps getting better every year. It's got to pop. It's got to pop. You put Jack in there, get him throwing the ball to him. Wait, Kitt's senior. That's different from the shitty guy that catches three cows. Kyle took Jack Prescott. Oh, house, come on. Sit right next to you, buddy. You already have a cowboy. A cowboy. House, why did you take Dak right there? Looking at the quarterback list, there's no other quarterback that can throw for 4,500 yards and 40 touchdowns left on this list, from what I can tell. Interesting that he passed on Jaden Daniels. I'm on all the boards. 4,500 yards and 40 touchdowns. But it's a sure enough. Oh, I like that. Did you see his touchdown last night? Incredible. That was like a big touchdown. You're trying to manifest it. You're trying to manifest it not running. If he doesn't run, he can play. That's awesome. I should have probably taken him. That was disrespectful. If they just open it up and start throwing. I took Kyle Pitts over. Do you think it's funny Quentin Johnson plays for Harbaugh when it's like the best play of Quentin Johnson's college career was against Harbaugh at Michigan? I think that's like half the reason he gets the ball. 100%. Yeah, he's like, I have to prove that this actually was worth it. He was good enough. It's because he remembers him playing versus Ohio State and just being like, wow, that guy. Taking the guy you guys have talked about more than any other player. Darn tootin'. Tootin'. Rootin' for tootin'. Rootin' for tootin'. Get a piece of the Jags. Yeah. That's a boomer bus pick right there. I like it. Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Do you actually believe in basal tootin' or is that a bit? I believe in the upside. You got to believe. Trevor Lawrence sitting right there for him. This is a real test because I think I took Dak Prescott. Yeah. Because I did not want to take Trevor Lawrence. Really? You're out on Trevor Lawrence? Bill loves Lawrence. Bill's going to take Lawrence. Too inconsistent. Bill doesn't have QB. Is this the latest Bill's ever gone without QB? That's his whole thing. He didn't. You seem like you're in the spin zone right now. You okay? Yeah. He's going to be great. So do we have a flex? I can't remember. Yeah. Three wide receivers, two running backs, flex. And it's a two quarterback league. You're thinking We weren't sitting here Picking our noses Gonna get a running back Gonna take defense He's taking another Taking a tight end He's taking another tight end He's taking Tucker Craft Laporta What are you doing? The door Tight end Bannon Interesting I actually have no idea Who Bill's picking right now He's going a tight end In the flex Oh I see Tucker Craft Laporta Laporta Sam Laporta That's a good pick Super good That's a good pick I like Sam He can He's cornering the tight end market He'll be in your other Injured reserve slot We've won with Ash He's no Kyle Pitts But he's a good player Wow Wow Oh my Oh This is What? This is flawful Oh my god You make all that In like two minutes I'll do the chicken Chicken Yeah let's do that one Alright so Dave Has walked in with food Dave I assume your mic is on Oh What do we got What's on the menu Dave? Anything I'll take anything This is great He's locked in He's serving Alright so Amazing So we got your best available We got it up there on the screen Incredible Alright Let's go What a good friend Stay healthy my man Is that what you got? Come on Tucker Craft The tight end Okay CR We got your best available On the screen So you can You can talk through your process If you're wondering Tweak it a little bit It gets It dies You know Earlier on It's like I can trade One of those guys What are you going to do here Come on CR I mean CR You took Caleb Williams You got Jaden Daniels And Jalen Hurts Are still there You got I feel okay about that Lawrence We got Marvin Harrison I like that you've been Rocking the Ducks hat lately I know I'm trying to get NIL money And I don't feel bad About not even Can you pull that off? Secondary business Upside up Can just normal people Get NIL money? I believe anything With the NCAA Ringer's gone big tin We got UCLA Bill We got Oregon Curry So Joel Has eligibility left We could send In theory We could send Joel Back to the Ducks Three years Of eligibility He's on the practice squad Van I believe this guy Also has a father Marvin Harrison Jr. From Arizona I like that His father's handy With the steel What would you say He's best known for? Just being a Solid pair of hands And then Billy's own Big collector Of antique guns Collector Known as a collector Just saying I'm gonna go with It's gotta be Hurts No You got best available Are you going running back? Quarterback? I can't believe How much CR hates Jalen Hurts It's not that I I don't hate him I just don't want him On the team I don't want to Confuse myself Is that worse? I don't hate him I just don't want him On the team Yeah Chris Ryan drafted David Boston Jr. again I'm gonna go with Ramond He's basically David Boston Oh, Ramond Damn you Yes Wow Exact That's a rock solid pick I think that's a great pick I like it I don't like cheering For Patriots But here we go Solid team here Welcome aboard, CR Solid work, CR It's gonna be incredible The year of CR continues Alright Don't do it Who made the finals Last year? Me and Mal No, Alex You don't Don't do it Who was in last place? I bet I did Craig and Mal Had the same record And then Mal won And Craig came in last place In the toilet bowl bracket Which is pretty incredible But we're getting rid of that This year Now it's just regular Season loser It's the loser Who did you think Was gonna win After the draft last year? Sal's team was great We should do that Sal's team was great Alright You can do a vote I was gonna say Which team do you like The most right now? Which team do you Which team Always has the best team On paper Hey, we all love Tate, right? Come on Yeah Can't wait to drop them Week four Can't catch them all Can't catch them all Yes That is Interesting My least favorite pick Of the entire draft so far Really? Okay I'll go with that I kind of like Chris's team right now Chris's team's good Yeah This episode is brought to you By 20th Century Studios The Dog Stars Now playing in theaters And IMAX Visionary filmmaker Ridley Scott returns With a gripping Post-apocalyptic thriller When a mysterious Radio transmission Shatters a lone pilot's Isolated existence He embarks On a dangerous journey In search of hope Starring Jacob Lewin Lordy Josh Brolin Margaret Qualley Allison Janney And Guy Pearce The Dog Stars Now playing in theaters And IMAX The Ringer Fantasy Football Show Is brought to you by FanDuel Before the football season begins Every team is undefeated Every fan believes This could be the year The year their team Wins the division Makes the playoffs Lifts the trophy And with FanDuel You can bet on any of it From who will win it all And division winners To season win totals And playoff futures FanDuel has all the ways To bet on the future Before it even begins Easiest bet The Broncos are 20-1 To win the Super Bowl I don't really understand that Because the Broncos made The AFC Championship game Last year Should have won But Bo Nix got injured And then Kept the entire team And now they're 20-1 That doesn't really make Any sense to me Because the Broncos Probably are going to have The second best defense Of the AFC I just How do the Broncos Have the same Super Bowl odds As the Packers? That doesn't make any sense Like the Packers Would be really weird If they made the Super Bowl Or at least surprising The Broncos It would be super normal So the Broncos are 20-1 It just feels mispriced So get your football Future bets In today on FanDuel Visit FanDuel.com Slash Ringer Fantasy To get started 21-plus Select states Or 18-plus D.C. or Wyoming Gambling problem Call 1-800-GAMBLER Call 1-888-789-7777 Or visit CCPG.org Slash Chat In Connecticut I think Craig's Kind of not missed yet Are you just trying to Make him feel good? Or are you guys Hyping him up? Yeah, we Can throw Chris's team I like Bill's team In theory Bill Bill is quietly On the clock The longest here Yeah It's just because I can't see I feel really good You guys are windmilling In warm-ups Yes Oh The seatbelt Hasn't worked at all Where did you get this? What color? Oh, I know God We stole it from the car I didn't notice Oh, it's a quarter belt We're back We're back Time for Lawrence Can we play him Off the stage here? I can't wait to date him How much can you Rap about music? Did we have the Oscars music Available? Bill, say something Stop Where's that? We're back Trevor Lawrence Quarterback from the Jacksonville Giants By the way Fifth in fantasy points Last year Out of everybody I'll take him Trevor Lawrence Goes before Hertz and Jaden Daniels And a handsome man Didn't even make The top six I just said that To not make Mallory Upset Not for handsomeness Not really my vibe Get back to me When he's 55 He's a Targaryen What do you mean He's not your vibe? Who did you think Was the hottest quarterback? I almost took him Two rounds ago Oh, I have so many notes For you guys But The women voted I know all seven Of your listeners I listen to your podcast So I know all your bits I think she was Genuinely, genuinely hurt She wasn't invited On the pod No, I was really No, look She's turning red She was upset I would've gotten fired She was actually Almost an act of war At this point I think you guys Are not We're going to talk About his coaches Next year We'll see where that ranking is Yeah, exactly You can do the I was Did you really Figure that out? I respect it It was already Do you know I almost said I'm not even Lifted Which one I'm going to be taking Wow I kind of I didn't mind Holy shit Yep Wow That's right Just your perspective On who's going to score points All right Mal's taking Dijon's dribbling The rook The rookie receiver On the San Francisco 49ers That's who I was going to take Whenever Prescott got hurt They still score points We had a 99 And we're like Really high at them And you just I think Mal's got the best team I'm not waiting for players I want That's my philosophy this year I'm not waiting for players I want I was like Last year Sal kept taking rookies No punishment Yes What a fucking pussy Look at that Look at that I knew that was going to happen I knew that was going to happen Sean is back He's happy That's embarrassing That's really unbelievable You got your shirt on I'm so afraid to lose I'm so afraid to lose You left it out there for me Oh my goodness To be honest We put it out there as big I'm the least qualified person To be sitting in this circle right now I cannot be doing a punishment Terrible I'm sure you're going with the 76 hot dogs The last thing I want ever Is Sal knocking on my door It's trick or treating No matter the circumstance That is so My wife You know what I'm going to Yeah Alright Tate You're up This could be really bad If I do it Sal how do you feel about Sean taking no punishment In round seven I really respected it Was there really not one on there That you would be okay with Sure For like four hours Yeah I would have done that Yeah I had a predictable But I like this I was going to go But that just feels insane So I'm going to go Josh Downs Terrible Another Tar Heel Another Tar Heel What would you have done though If you would So many Tar Heels I like that And then your daughter Would have been like This is my I had Diggs in my mind But I just can't trust Diggs Chang has just done An incredible That's a great pick Great value I think this relationship Started adversarial But I got to tell you This was a really good team Thank you very much Thank you very much Fifteen Russian touchdowns Right there Staring at him That's crazy And every once in a while He'll be like - He'll throw for 89 yards. seven for ten 89 yards two rushes who was the defensive tackle that was oh chris jones and the chiefs was like you didn't have 100 yards and you don't tie it in we won bitch yeah it's tough with the ring harry fannin is picked him up last year dk got him for like 53 dollars dropped him then i picked him up for like a buck it was great oh yeah that was the uh that was the guy that's a good pick people i wanted to go back to that just feels like a no-brainer what what about it you know what never mind hi it's mallory just uh just gave away my big fab bid from last year week one do you remember oh you spent all your money in harold and then and then i still dropped them and he dropped them yeah oh yeah yeah one of your best theories was how after a certain point every tight end has the exact same stats yeah we have reached that point yeah they all have 20 guys that will have the exact same points at the end of the year so it's one of those like a graph where you're like oh it's eight in the last week the tumts will you're like oh it's eight you're like oh it's eight injury i think is why people injury i think is why people injury i think is why people is fucked up that's why everybody isn't it is fucked up that's why everybody isn't it is fucked up that's why everybody isn't it jayden daniels jayden daniels jayden daniels scary terry that fantasy guy turning his scary terry that fantasy guy turning his scary terry that fantasy guy turning his page though page though page though the stack that's crazy that he's the stack that's crazy that he's the stack that's crazy that he's i think this house is like a beat reporter i think this house is like a beat reporter i think this house is like a beat reporter came out and said yeah why did the two came out and said yeah why did the two came out and said yeah why did the two boys gonna get hurt yeah the offensive boys gonna get hurt yeah the offensive boys gonna get hurt yeah the offensive line is pathetic yeah yeah we can't line is pathetic yeah yeah we can't line is pathetic yeah yeah we can't have anything he has to play jaylen carter have anything he has to play jaylen carter have anything he has to play jaylen carter van didn't take him for lsu either you van didn't take him for lsu either you van didn't take him for lsu either you were like i'm going burrow you guys don't were like i'm going burrow you guys don't were like i'm going burrow you guys don't want no one has to play jaylen carter want no one has to play jaylen carter want no one has to play jaylen carter twice a year he's gonna be his brother twice a year he's gonna be his brother twice a year he's gonna be his brother and he is and he is and he is our season was over so we did we did our season was over so we did we did our season was over so we did we did overrunners yesterday and we just could overrunners yesterday and we just could overrunners yesterday and we just could not say enough about how bad the not say enough about how bad the not say enough about how bad the offensive line is going to be it's offensive line is going to be it's offensive line is going to be it's pathetic the worst one of all of them pathetic the worst one of all of them pathetic the worst one of all of them you're not wrong you're not wrong you're not wrong i believe in him you'll get rushing yards for the four you'll get rushing yards for the four you'll get rushing yards for the four games that he plays before he gets hurt i don't know why simmons didn't grab i don't know why simmons didn't grab i don't know why simmons didn't grab yeah i don't even like travion and i'm yeah i don't even like travion and i'm yeah i don't even like travion and i'm just gonna take this guys he's right here just gonna take this guys he's right here just gonna take this guys he's right here you you should wonder why i didn't you you should wonder why i didn't you you should wonder why i didn't grab him um grab him um grab him um look he'll win you two weeks look he'll win you two weeks look he'll win you two weeks my two wins my two wins my two wins i'm trick-or-treating i'm trick-or-treating Yeah, what would be your trick-or-treat strategy? I'll get the two cold cans of soup from a trick-or-treater and then drink those two at once. It'd be funny if you get a player and then a punishment, like you're not happy with the play. Yeah, no, honestly, I might as well at this point. This part of the draft sucks. If you lose twice in a row, you have to do two. See, no quarterback. Craig, did you lose on points or on record? Or both? Neither. We did like a loser's bracket, and then I lost that. But I was like, that's when Sean flipped out. That's when Sean lost it. I lost, though. But he flipped out. He lost his mind. He really didn't want to wear the headband, and then at the end, he thought he was safe. He had to go back and play off the 12-point playoff. And it was just the best Sean Finnecy has left the conversation. We were talking about this. When he left the group chat. He dramatically quit the group chat. That was great. He dramatically just, okay, he quit the group chat. I'm going to make a legitimately bad pick, and I'm going to take Jonathan Brooks and the Panthers because I loved all nine of his games. That's not a bad pick. Yeah, how dare you? You saw a real doubt on it last year. That would have been a baller move. No punishment. I thought about it. See you, losers. That would have been a bad pick. What a draft. Getting into it. He just did a seven-minute podcast with Greta Gerwig. CR, you want to vamp while I make this pick, Chris? What's that? You want to vamp while I make this pick? I almost opened the door and walked in and said, Get it across to him. Come on. Do some crowd play. Come on, man. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Do you guys like stuff? I think it's okay that LeBron James borrowed $300 million against future earnings. I think it's great. It's like a creative financial. He wanted the money. This is not updated, right? He took it from him some. He didn't want the annuity. It is updated, but slowly. You'll see them. Because they're doing it manually. I saw them in there. They're erasing the names and then updating it. They don't have stickers back there? Do you guys ever wonder which letters are which order? Oh, boy. I'm taking Jaden Reed and the Packers. I love him. It's kind of a reach, but I'm like. They give him the ball around the goal line so much. He plays like a grown-ass man. He beats the shit out of bigger people. They just always give him the ball at the goal line, and he's going to score a ton of touchdowns. I like him as my fifth guy. Two Packer receivers. Yeah. I'm sorry. Who do you like? Who do you have? I'm good, baby. He's about to take one. Okay, Craig, you're up. Craig, you can take a second quarterback here. That's what I would do. Aller is kind of. He's falling. Hold on. While Craig's doing that, what food did you just walk into this draft with? What is this? There's some wraps from a restaurant that I saw in the room, and I just took it. That's good stuff. Those are Richard Max's stuff. Oh, they're telling me in my ear that was for all the production staff. Is that true? No, I made it up. That's not as funny. No, it's not true. Jalen Warren? I'm taking Jalen Warren. I'm taking a Pittsburgh Steeler. Is that the first backup running back ticket? No, Trayvon Anderson was. I'm sorry. What's Dowdle versus Warren? I thought Dowdle. How come two guys are gone yet? I mean, Warren's going to be in the game. Gotcha. I think we're in punishment territory. I do want to ask Dave. If anyone does the chapter of Terry Bradshaw's book that they have to eat if they come in last place, how would you prepare a chapter of a book to eat? I would turn his book into a burnt sauce. Eat it raw? Seriously. I would burn it into ash, and I would make a sauce that goes with a nice juicy beer chop. Damn, now I got it. That sounds great. Wow. Chris is right. Man, we should have specified. That was like the easiest one. You can make a delicious sauce with burnt. It's a lot of ass. Sean, you ever had that before? I can reduce it to an oil. It could be a big. DK, Wanda Robinson. The first Tennessee Titan. Wanda Robinson. No, Colonel Tate's off the board. He had the seventh highest target rate in the NFL last year with the same offensive play call. Okay. He's a cheat code. You got the concussion discount? Yeah. Ow. You okay? Yep. I know. Van, you're on the clock. I know. Mal's back is just going into the live stream. You should lie on the floor like Larry Bird did in the 92 season. We've got like 19 rounds left, so maybe I will. Tate, you threw your back out, and that's how he met you. You were just lying down. Yeah, that was during Against All Odds. You're recording while on the ground. I'm better now. What was that stunt just now, Tate? You don't go for another 20 minutes. I can't find a name that I'm looking for on the board, and then I'm like, he has to be on the list. Harrison Bucker? Harrison Bucker? What's up? What are you looking for? Who will hover? He makes points. His bat is like somebody on Chubba Hubbard. Chubba Hubbard. Chubba Hubbard. Chubba Hubbard. I have no problem with that. So unlike me, you want a Panthers running back that's going to play this season? Mm-hmm. That was clean. Thank you. Best available list is killing me because I keep thinking I have a chance at someone. All lips. Keep them coming back. I got behind. Don't look at that. I got behind on my marking. That's it. When I went to the back. Chubba. Okay, he's up there now. All right. Chang is up. Ready to go. Chang's always ready. He really is. If only we had him in the group shot. He's reaching for a color we've. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The kicker. What is that? I don't know. As a punishment? I don't get it. Are you going to take a kicker? I just might. Round 80. Let him do it. It's fine. If you look at the point totals for your team last year, they were, like, top 50. Looking for Brandon Aubrey. And the Seattle kicker. They were, like, your top 50 players. So you guys can laugh. We will. Your wire's out here. We will laugh. It happens on Stranger Things all the time. We're definitely going to laugh. This is proof of how stupid fantasy is. Oh, Cam's little. I love it. Sure. My guy. Well, I didn't want the same firebook as well. There's the. What? Where's the wide receivers? Top 200. You took a kicker because of the firebook? No. I didn't want to take Aubrey because of. Wait, Fairbairns doesn't have a kicker anymore? Fairbairns is Houston. He's Houston. They're both. Aubrey's in Dallas. On this list, it says Fairbairns on Pittsburgh. What the. That is. Oh, incorrect. Is that terrible? Incorrect. That's definitely a typo. Cam Little's Jacksonville, right? Yeah. Yeah. Cam Little's. All right. I thought I missed something. Chris Boswell. This is a huge. We talked about how Fairbairns. Oh! What do you got? What happened? KC Concepcion. All right. Can we talk about why Dave just took the kicker? You guys are sitting here silent right now. What's going on? I respect Dave as a man. I mean, I like to talk. It's how he can do whatever he wants. Yeah, look at the stickers. They're super valuable. The points are tallied in this mouth-breather league. A top three kicker is more valuable now than any other player that's going to sit on your bench. Why does no one rank kickers in the top 200, though? I don't know. Because of your stupid fucking league. You know, the kicker points in this league are normal. They're like every other fantasy league. You have extra points for over 45 or something. Every league does this. But look at last year's point totals for kickers. DK, that's a good pick. Okay, Metcalf. The arbitrage is not always the thing that you need. That is a good pick. And I would have taken Aubrey, but I hate having a double bye week on players. What? He took the kicker for the bye week. You know what? No one else sees the bye week. Stud, and that's what he's doing. Now you should pick a punishment and then trade no punishment. I want to take Sebastian Jenikowski. I wanted to, but there was too much rancor. That guy knows how to eat. Sebastian Jenikowski. That's the guy you want to rank on. Yeah. Michael Wilson. All right, all right. I don't know anything about fantasy football. Then he takes, like, I don't know anything about fantasy football. He's like the Arizona Cardinals second receiver. Come on. Look at his numbers with Jacoby Brissett last season. I know because he was on my team. So you did prep. But you see, like, this is the thing. You keep like, I'm not qualified to be here. And then be like, I looked at Michael Wilson. You got to protect yourself from all angles. Do your research, but also evade all punishment. Right. And also, Mallory's team, I'm on the board. Mallory's building an interesting squad. Mallory's got, it is a lot of, like, very polarizing players. I'm investing in the Rams offense. I'm investing in the Rams offense here. Michigan. Why are you so fascinated by Corum? Because if anything happens to Kyron, Blake Corum's going to be top ten. I quite agree. Mal, how do you feel about your team? Because you said you were going to go receiver heavy, but you kind of just got your three receivers and running backs. Receiver heavy at the top. I feel great. I feel wonderful. Who's going to play running back when Love is hurt in week one and Corum's the backup running back? I'm going to play Corum because the Rams are going to score, like, 50 points. I'll be fine. I think so. I hope we're going head-to-head. Can't wait. I just went back and got a piece of you, bitch. He's like, how about you go fuck yourself? Yeah. And furthermore. I can tell he's my favorite. Yeah. And we have best available, so we can throw out best available on the screen. Slow-mo Simmons is up. So we can say, yeah, we can. Not to rush, but you haven't taken a tight end in a while. It doesn't matter about getting the best bench versus getting the best starting set. That is actually a great question. Not the biggest mistake in fantasy. It's like, you want running backs and receivers before, like, filling out kickers, generally. So we, generally, you know, look, who knows? But generally speaking, you want depth. Of course. Oh, no. Are you? What's happening? I love that. It's like, he picks them all up at once and then drops three of them. What? What is going on? That's not him. That's not him. Well done. One of us. Well done. One of us. Let's go. Well done. We know Matt. We're doing it. It's always two just being, like, exactly. The matter is, hey, look at the scoring system for this Yahoo League. It's every league. It's the same setting if there's a league in the world. It's incredibly important. What were you doing? Jason Myers won the league that Salah and I were in last year. Jason Myers wasn't drafted. The point is, you don't know which kickers are going to be winning. I know. I feel like this is how it runs. That's going to be right. Heifetz doesn't have one either, so. Ludicrous. Heifetz doesn't have one. Yeah, it sounded like the people that were anti-moneyball. QB? Are you taking the quarterback? He doesn't look like he's going to take this ball player. Wow. This is ridiculous. What? Can you guys, like, I feel like I'm the only person. Do you guys, are you not shocked that two kickers just went in the eighth round? I'm astonished. You can't reason with me. Somebody took the Rams backup running back in the pick before. I think Chang did that with conviction, but I think he accepted Bill. He did. What the fuck? It's like a double. It's like a double win for Chang. How'd it do it? Team name coming. That's a great team name. It might be my team name. This is crazy. Go kicker. Come on, dig. That's kind of a vibe. There's only one good kicker left, Chris. There really is. If there's a run on kickers. Myers, do it. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm nervous. All right. Can we put Chris Ryan's team on the board? I think I want to. Chris, thanks. It's the year of CR. If we're being honest, Chris is probably going to win this league. So I kind of want to. He's got Devontae Smith. Drake London and Harrison at receiver. He does some smart games to remind the team that they're running back. Caleb at quarterback. That's a good pick, Chris. That's a good pick. And now you've got Jordan Addison at Minnesota. Who'd you pick, Chris? Jordan Addison. Yeah. Receiver. Got one more here. Come on, dude. Stephon Biggs. You want it. No. At this point, it's so hard to know who to fucking draft. I think Stephon Biggs is a lot of value on the board right now. If we throw Chris's team up. I do, too. Craig, what do you think of Chris's team? You're light on running back. Chris's team is fun. A lot of young guys. Everyone on his team is 25 years older. Never doing that again. Follow up side. Yeah. Proud of us. Ever. What are the odds that Marvin Harrison Jr. actually plays well? I feel like it has to happen this year. I like it. I like it. It's going to happen. I don't know. Right? Of course. Why not? He put on 10 pounds of muscle, which is good. I love those stories. Every time. He just keeps getting lighter. David Pulse. He's already the smallest. He's just fucking light. Every time. He just keeps coming back lighter. When you're adding muscle, you're getting slower. And just every time. That separation was the knock on him. I'm going to whisper it. Yeah. We're on mic. Yeah. I'm a nasty person. Yeah. We got you. We got you. That's fucking right. You're about to take it. J.K. Dobbins. Chris finally lost me. We have an IR slot. So that's a good pick. I was with you every pick. Chris, how has the year of CR been? I agree with that. I mean, it's pretty good until this Dobbins pick. He's just ended right there. He's like, it's fucking over. It's all over. We were on day 300 of CR month, and now it's over. Oh, sad. Quarterback, Deshawn? I don't, you know, not very well known. Got a couple MVP votes. Final Fusion be damned. That's damn right. Steph. Come on, man. MVP just goes in there. Seems like a good pick to me. 1,000 yards and 40 touchdowns. Okay. It's a great pick. He's terrible. He's a terrible quarterback. If you like polka in the top five. Bill, are you going to get another kicker here? You can't put a kicker in your flex spot, just to add to that. Yeah. Well, I would change the rules and let you, if you really want. Just watch what happens. That would be incredible. Just watch. If next year on your preseason fantasy prediction, you start to. Spout how amazing kickers are. You guys have to footnote this. Yeah, we will. We'll give credit. So I'm going to take the actual starting running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Rico Dado. Sure. Yeah. Get hit with the Rico. I thought it was. Yeah. He's so perplexed that we took him on board. He's fucking broke. I don't know what to do. He's crazy. Is that the craziest thing? Oh, we got it. Okay. I like having the best bill, the best tight end of the best. So. Kicker. Yeah, Bill. So your team right now, so you have it running. You have Ashton Jente, David Lever, Sabre. Rico Dado running. There's six positions in fantasy football. I have the best guy at three of them. What are the three? Which three? What are we talking? Oh, so why did you take two tight ends? Chase. Okay. Maybe just one. The best tight end of the league. The best tight end. Got it. You have the best 2D tight end, for sure. But I'll take you over to the, Bill, we got your team up on the screen on Netflix. There you go. Because he has the. Just another great pick. The hat, right? As long as he's not composed. So why did you take the hat? I'm into that one. Thank you. Because I thought there was only one, two, three, five in tight ends. Hey, I'll just observe that Danny Kelly, one of the finest minds in the industry, has, like, dominant. And you were frustrated with Kraft? Maybe. Just going to throw that out there. I think he likes every pick. Hey. The flex for one of those is going to be. Kraft's scary. I didn't like that J.K. Dobbins. Exactly. Oh, it's my turn. All right, Sean, you take Mark Andrews. Mal, how do you feel that Sean's taking Mark Andrews? Damn it. And tight ends always get hurt, so I have a backup to my tight end, which I had last year. But I hope it ends up being a good pick. Kraft with, like, 85th pick. I forget who it is. I don't love it. I like having depth at tight end. Yeah. Because then you don't have to, like, add. I'm on waivers. It sucks. I hate having the seven points a week for my tight end. It just bums me out. It does suck. Still available. Bill, I took one of your beloved Pats. Care to comment? I saw it. Strong pick? DK said he liked it. I saw it. I saw it. Possession receiver. I mean, we had 740 yards last year. Guys, I don't want to get everyone excited, but if House ever puts a sticker up there, we are halfway done. We're officially halfway done. We're seriously only halfway. That's horrible. Yeah, we are. That is just horrible. We're going to speed up. Things will go faster. Myers. Oh! Good job. Good job. I'm not afraid. We're humming right now. Wait, who just what? Toby Myers. Toby Myers. Toby Myers. Toby Myers. Toby Myers. Toby Myers. Toby Myers. I feel like the people watching this livestream have no idea who's being drafted. Because we're all standing in front of the board. It's up. They see it on the screen. I'm taking Diggs. I'm taking Diggs. What the fuck? I'm taking Diggs. Tate's taking Stefan Diggs. I'm happy I always start. It's a good pick. I like it. Yeah. Freaky ass. Yeah. Expand on that. he's got to play well to stay like out and like free and everything yeah exactly that's what I want Van to expand on it I don't care where Tate's rationale is hey man good for him never makes you train God likes to fuck here while Chang picks we're going to put Van's team up and Van I'm curious how you're you're feeling about your squad where is it at it's here it's going to come up yeah it's not on that TV but it's on Netflix TV I'm feeling good about my squad feeling great sure LSU two weeks two days I'm feeling great about the value of Ryan Thomas Jr. in a bounce back season just watch at this point watch Dave you doing Charbonnet yeah oh I mean is it because ACL reminds you of like a slow roast oh yeah a nice Charbonnet yeah to go with your with the lamb and rice the cumin lamb and the yes yes that was Chang's most questionable move since stealing the PA's lunch oh wait we could just write the shit on there uh oh oh he's taking his punishment no this is a this is a punishment oh vanilla vanilla ice eyebrows oh the eyebrows damn it damn it wow you guys make fun of me for taking a kicker you guys are wusses this is crazy that's fine I would rather take a kicker than a punishment I have to take it I just kind of help it happens so Danny Kelly is up so Van looking at your team are you you're so confident about taking your team that you wanted to go punishment there yeah I mean everybody else this is the scraps of the league now it's kind of a mess now yeah oh suddenly Brandon Arbery looks a little bit better but yeah that worked out who's your pick you're most worried about on this list um you mean from a criminal standpoint from a criminal standpoint what are you talking about um I don't have a great situation that tied in I'm pretty sure I'm pretty solid I feel like everywhere else I don't have a great situation that tied in why because you're just showing Watson in the outdoors in quarterback situation yeah quarterback situation there I would have liked to have a more productive one Dalton Kincaid for the Bills why not do that hopefully he plays more I might take Brandon Arbery again can I take anybody twice just double down I'm going to take two kickers you like then you could you could stagger him each way that's right who has the better thing I might do that too it's competition you can do that right now Myers is still available which one I'm taking Jordan Mason on the Vikings there we go how many weeks do you think I just took him but where is he on here when I'm done with him zero keep going down Craig how good do you feel about Jordan Mason everyone has a QB experience except Ty Fitz he's probably not going to play until what week six or seven but I'm going to take a guy that just I don't even know if I like this season but I think he's more juiced than I thought and I can't believe he's still around which is Tony Pollard for the Titans and he's fine but this is outside the top 100 picks now and so I just think that's an incredible I thought he was off the board a little insecure I thought he was hurt who's going to win week one Titans Jets that's what everybody's thinking what a dark sentence because Holland is basically the last starting running back to guys I already bet it and the reason he lasts this long is because it seems like the Titans suck but I already bet it and they're never going to run the ball I bet on the underdog on the money line and the level line I bet the point spread and the money line in that game already it's passing on a quarterback again I just I'm not worried about it I wish I could spell better you guys just all know where these letters are the order it's always so tough I'm taking George Kittle in the Niners and I just kind of just want a ton of upside with this pick okay okay George Kittle didn't get two Achilles I think the substations are just absolute silence incredible response I want Achilles you know what I was going to say it was a little awkward I don't know is he playing in week one I think he's not going to go to Australia but I think he'll play in week two and I think he's going to be like fine because he can't go to Australia because of his surgically repaired Achilles on a long flight you know what it's just the pressurization you know 14 hours no compression sock is strong enough far and are yeah no so Heifetz is really sticking to this I'm going to get a quarterback late strategy I mean everybody could fuck him by taking another quarterback I'm in we all want to go quarterback let's do it actually wait I'll do it I have no punishment Danny are you alright with that I'm going to leave this league we should legitimately take 11 quarterbacks in a row I'm winning it would be amusing okay I'm going I think that's hilarious immediately Coward's out to take my I'm going to get on the way back though I'm going to start here just remember Craig will always look out for himself I'll get him on the way back that would be cool when you guys do that yeah yeah yeah that would be awesome I can't believe Trubisky has a sticker that's awesome hold on what would you say would Trubisky someone should make that a laptop sticker that's great I need that Trubisky sticker I'm going with the all variants quarterback room oh cool I love for you wow you hate Kyle let's go no you hate Kyle I hate Kyle that's a good pick that's super you could have made it Hyphus we would have to yeah it's mean instead you probably could have instead you should holler to get him Mahomes Malik Willis Mayfield Goff here we go all right we got number two in a row here QB run Hyphus is going to get fucked Hyphus is going to get fucked bye bye that's a dissing that's a dissing that's a dissing that's a dissing keep it going nobody else is there any other context you guys have ever been next to each other in the winter magic behind I won't cry this is the fucking I don't want to ruin it come on you can you can do it you can do it on the way back Drew Drew come on it's all right we got a few good ones also who's left I was like when the wave dies down I'm going to do that what's his bye week ten don't worry I'll figure that out later he's right there that's a productive quarterback is he still there which one I thought Jordan Love is still available yeah he's pretty good does he throw the ball to I just want to see one guy okay that guy's still there so that's fine okay I'll do it yes Jordan Love not against that I'm going to go two kickers when he comes back around so this is a no quarterback lead who did house take Jordan Love Jordan Love you got a first shot it's a free handbook this is for real I didn't I didn't want a shot you've been so good I've been so good I've been so good I need someone who takes Stroud so that Stroud's got to go next I'm not taking seven weeks of dirt Gough from Mahomes Mahomes wins Mahomes wins takes Stroud the only time you'll ever see Mahomes and Kyler Murray we can't let Gough and Stroud reject this Baker Mayfield someone has to take Stroud hold on hold on is Dark gone yet no someone has to take him hey do we have a do we have a because then I'll take him and then I'll need more back this is just I'm not taking a QB Kaiser Permatente Jackson there's nobody there I'm happy with you CJ Stroud anybody left CJ Stroud Bill you gotta get Bill come on Bill come on Bill don't fucking ruin it come on at least get love off this is an incredible run what about Gough this is everybody's gone except take Dark take Gough take Dark take Gough I'm going to take Gough I'm going to take Gough Gough what the fuck you gotta you gotta take Gough the kicker thing was great I love that this is amazing I think I should take kickers. That was really sweet. East and stick. This is great. Look at Mel. How good is this than winning the league? It was my idea, so I feel pretty good. Oh, he's out. - What's that talking about, bro? It was time for him, he does his own fucking thing. All the good QBs are gone. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm not taking Jackson Dart. Thank you, Sal. My husband's a big Lions fan. We're all set. Oh, man. Someone with some moral fiber. Yeah, you do, Chris. You need a backup. I'll find Dart for you. Yeah, come on. Donald is a good pick here. Yeah, I'm going to take it. We need more people to take quarterback. Dart, Dart. Take Dart, bro. Straight to January 6th. Dart, Chuck. Take the kid. I don't know. I like it. Donald's a great pick. Thank God. All right. Is it right for Dart to land with Mike? This is a fucking. Keep Dart, bro. That would be hilarious. That's what happens when two are in another QB. You got to go kick his ass. Keep it going. I may take that on the way back. Donald. Yeah, take Stroud here. He's about as good. Make Mike Fitzpatrick a great pick. Cam Ward. I just. Thank you. Kicker. Yeah, see, he knows. He knows. What's up with the kicker? That's a great pick. Kicker the kicker. He knows. It's a great pick. Dicker's a good pick. Oh, I love Dicker. That's a great pick. It's an absolutely fantastic pick. That's an incredible pick. It loves Dick, bro. Love Dicker. Oh, it's me. That was a fun try. Wow, man. That was just great stuff. I'm having too much fun here. Absolutely wonderful. Sal, yeah, were you thinking backup kicker or what are you thinking? You just worry about your own. That's a bad shit. No, you're right. Oh, man. All right. That was fun. I enjoyed that. This could have easily been avoided if we did a two-quarterback loop. They would have all been in the first three rounds. You know, sliding doors. Yeah. Bill. Bill. Bill. You're not wrong. Bill. Oh. That's a good pick. Thank you for not letting him be there and tempting me. I thought he was actually already gone. I might have broken down a tape. That's a good plan. I was sure he was going to make it back to me. I thought he was gone already. That's a good plan. I said thank you. We can't do it, Dave. The other person whose brain melted when this happened is not just me. Bill also just kind of, I think, got rocked by that. The guys whose brain melted. Jackson, Dart, Bill. Dart's still on the board, right? Dart. I thought we were going to do it before. I thought I could get it later. He got his defense. There we go. He got his defense. He might get Stroud, though. Stroud's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris. I think it's just-- So Craig right now. Someone to Stroud. Chuck. Yeah. Oh, wow. Chuck. That's going to be a disaster. You've got to leave him with the absolute dregs in the quarterback position. Someone's got to take Stroud, otherwise this is all for naught. House can take a quarterback here. Oh, I took two already. Did you? Yeah. I have Dak. Oh, and Dak and Love. I think the Vikings would rather have Shuck than Stroud, though. Yes. I kind of want to take Shuck. But wait. If Shuck and Stroud get taken, what does he do at that point? Well, I can take a quarterback. But somebody else would have to take a third. Tua. Tua's the only one that's left. This is literally-- Oh, my god. Tua. We have to let him get Tua. Tua would be incredible. Holy shit. This is the best. It's very good. Is it collusion when the whole league colludes against one person? No, it's camaraderie. No. It's camaraderie. That's literally the definition of camaraderie. It's called the NFL. This is kind of funny. We created an ad during draft, a mid-draft TVA. This is a live punishment. This is it. They do this. We had somebody in the league who's like, I'm smarter than everybody else. So I'm going to get a good quarterback late. And we were like, fuck that. Fuck you. We're going to take a quarterback. Like, fuck you, right? You'll get nothing. 10 out of 13 picks. What are the quarterbacks in the crowd? That's fucking hysterical talk. You can get Stroud. You can have Tyler Shuck. Tyler Shuck. All Brown, Jones, Bryce Young. Jacoby Brissett. The real question here, guys, is none of us really need quarterbacks. But this is bargaining for players that we like on Danny's team. Exactly. That's right. Right. That's right. It's almost possible to take enough quarterbacks that he, like, can't start one. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my god, bro. I'm fucking with this. Yeah. Like, in this? Like, in this? Jesus Christ. He might not have a start. He's going to have to stop cracking him more. Why? He's going to crack you. Danny, plug your ears while we try, guys. He's so messy right now. Oh, I'm sorry. What's funny is he's the host of our fantasy football game, and he's going to have Drew Allard week one, hoping he comes in. So what are these punishments? What's this list? So there have been 21 quarterbacks taken. He's got them already out. Maybe taste some of them while I'm retired. So we can leave him with, like-- Mal's up. Oh, we got Mallory's team up. Let's see, Mallory, it looks like you don't need any quarters. She's going for 1,000. Looks like, you know-- Oh, I love Denzel. Great pick. Good pick. That's why you won. Denzel lost. OK. That's why you won. That's why you had the first pick. We have-- true story. Mal, we have your team up on Netflix. What was your favorite pick, Mal, of those picks? I've loved them all. You know, I don't really have any notes, honestly. I think that the Bowers pick was particularly sweet, because I know it pissed all of you off. So I liked that. That was good. You know, feeling great. Feeling great. The second worst thing you did to me in this draft. I do feel a little mad, Danny. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you love it. Don't play that crime. Come on. I saw your face. Oh, god. She's downright giddy. I am. Your back is magically feeling fine all the time. I feel high. I feel like I just snorted a mountain of cocaine. Who the fuck is Manga here, sir? Oh, interesting pick, Sean. Good, good, good. Chang picked up the quarterbacks. Interesting. I'm just trying to go over exactly who's left. I think we should leave him Jacoby Brissett, to be honest. Oh, he's too good. I know. I'm worried that whoever we leave him with will be good. He'll be good. And he'll just-- Tua is guaranteed bad. Tua is worried about that. It's got to be Tua. This is like Survivor. Or Cam Ward, since he's been shitting on him all this. Cam Ward would shock us. I feel like Tua can't. So how else are you taking? Piers. Alex Piers from the Colts. This is the most Chang-like strategy we could have ever come up with. I don't know who would enjoy this more, Chang or Sal. It really worked perfectly. Have you ever seen a draft where this happened? Not in a-- It was a concerted effort. Like, accidentally, maybe. But this is great. It can only happen if the guy-- You might have to start Trey Lance. Oh my god. That was Kelsey? RIP. Wow. I feel like he's got to be better than Kyle Pitts. He was best available, right? Those last words. Did you say he's better than Kyle Pitts? He's got to be better than Kyle Pitts. We drafted five rounds earlier. Chang's like, what's a brand new for me? Yeah, a little insurance policy. Brown sticker. Yeah. We're orange. What was that called? Chang wavering for the first time. Stroud, buddy. Come on. Yeah, yeah. Stroud was still on the board. What about Shuck? Shuck. Shuck. Shuck. Shuck. What? Over Stroud? We're going to let Danny have Dart, huh? You could have had a backup kicker. No, Bill took Dart. Someone should take Dart. Bill took Dart. Oh, yeah. Bill took Dart. Missed that one. I was celebrating my pick. So Dave, you take Tyler Shuck. OK. I like Shuck, too. That's a good pick. Basically, the first 22 QBs are off the board now. 22, correct. Yeah. Daniel Jones, Stroud, Young, Brissette. Mm-hmm. Yeah, man. Proud of you. Wow. Rufus. Rufus. I'm like, I'm not going to have a backup. I'm like, who's my backup going to be? Fuck. Oh, yeah. You didn't take Dart. Wow. Oh, so this is like Danny has two QBs. Two off the board and two quarterbacks. Two quarterbacks. I mean, two quarterbacks. Put it to a verb? How about three? Let's knock down to change it now. Yeah. We did it. Woo! Woo! Yeah. Yeah. Woo! Woo! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Incredible. All right. Who's left? We got Daniel Jones. Daniel Jones is left. Daniel Jones. I don't even care about my team anymore. Bryce Young. I know. Who's-- who are we trying to stick? Is he-- man, we're looking at your team on the screen here. You got three quarterbacks. Why did you do that? How did you feel about that? You know, how did you feel about that versus the LA Cyberslits? I don't know. Quarterbacks is-- I don't know about the quarterback picks. Well, to me, you look at this as three quarterbacks. I look at this as two last quarterbacks. Man, you're doing all LA Cyberslits. You're doing all the six quarterbacks. That's true. Uh-oh. All right. I'm taking Brissette. Yeah. Yay! Oh. Oh my god. Wow. He's OK. That's crazy. Craig, this is a big moment. Who are you taking? Because who are you leaving behind? God bless you. God bless you. Yeah! Danny, walk us through the upside for Bryce Young to Aaron Rodgers. Jesus Christ. Draft the backseat. All right, but take it. You're a draft backseat. You need to drop it. Oh, no! No, we need to drop it. Come on. Don't make us do this to you. We're tripping. We're tripping. You're not going to have anybody. Don't do it. Wow. Take the fifth. Absolutely not. I love this. Bro, I will draft Cam Ward, bro. I'm dead serious. I will take it. I will take it. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. I don't want a quarterback. We're going to have to do this again? Let's float my team here. Let's see. I don't know. Can you do a screen with a picture of Icarus? We got Hampton at running back with Tony Pollard and Jonathan Brooks. Bastions of health, really. Pillars. Whoa. This is a calamity. There's a list of punishments. How did this happen to you? Can we trade right now? How did this happen to me? I will trade you a Larry Hampton for Willis right now. No. He'll do that. He'll do that. This is a great trade. This is the only time I'm in a positive situation. I say no trades during the draft. No trades during the draft. I love it. I think you might want to, you know, make this turn out. I'm going to say the Jaden Reed pick was a fuck you to the entire league and was received accordingly. I agree. Yeah, I think I'll be fine. Flip that for when I come in last. I would take your punishment now. I would draft your punishment. Yeah, I would actually be smart. Yeah. Or else you're eating Terry Brashaw's book, bitch. No dropping like Matthew Stafford in week three this time around. Yeah, we got to stick together on this. Otherwise, this means nothing. He was hurt. You look terrible. I get it. MVP of the NFL. That's true. My strategy worked last year. I cowered in that way. I have the feeling if he doesn't take the quarterback now, there will literally be no starting staff at all. Tick tock. Is this a quarterback? Tick tock. Oh, shit. Oh, my mistake. No, you still don't have a quarterback. All right. 80-day now. All right, fuck. Oh, no, no, not that. The guy who's gone. Two-one. So, I respect what everyone's in. Come on, two-one. Panic. I would literally rather die in an empty spot than rostered to a. I think the reality is, while that was really a good bit, I'm going to take Bryce Young and he'll be just as good, if not better, than like eight of the guys that went ahead of him. That was a very silly strategy by all of you. All a good bit. Very silly strategy by all of us. He'll be in the CFL. He'll be in the CFL. Dude, the XFL numbers, he's about to put up. When he's going for the Argonauts, he's going to be. It's going to be the Alouettes. It's going to be absolutely beating families. Look how not nervous he is and going back and back. He's like. Look at these punishments real quick. Your hands are shaking just looking at your hands. His battery's at the cell. I mean, the good news is we're not live on a huge streaming platform. Is Bryce Young allowed to ride Space Mountain yet? Is he taller than Mina? Not yet, no. No, we're still waiting on that. I'll take. No, I'm not taking a fucking. Should I dress as the Hungry Caterpillar at next year's draft? Yeah. You're going to have to host. Oh, that's a good point. You're going to host as a Caterpillar. No, I'm not worried. Sorry, I'm taking forever here. I just lost track. Hyphens, come on. I'm rattled. Just say your title. I've never seen something work so well. Any fucking day now. This is a disaster. Just pick a player. What position do you want? This is fine, bro. I'll take Matthew Golden. Yeah, I'll take Matthew Golden. Ten. We'll do that. Who? This is like Aaron Fox in the finals. That guy fucked me last year. And it was Hyphens' fault. That's a good one. Yeah, it probably was my fault. Yes. I drafted him way too high last year. Me too. I know. It was a miserable experience. That sucked. You've got to get down to the running back. That was horrible. Danny, you're a champ. You're a trooper. He really is. That was awesome. You did good, Danny. You're a good sport, buddy. Enjoy last place. I will say, I felt really smug about the whole thing until Craig took Daniel Jones, and then I was like, fuck, because I thought no one's going to take him, and I was like, he's going to be like a top-ten quarterback for three weeks. That's your partner. He knows you better than anyone. That's true. He broke my heart. He really broke my back there. That was tough. I'm really sorry about that. Yeah, fuck. Oh, my God. I was thinking you were in the Batman way, but I didn't think you could get worse until right there. Stefan, you're a treatment. Oh, my God. You really blew my back out there. You really blew this shit out of my back out. Unbelievable. You're walking funny for weeks. Dave, how many fucks do I have to say to get this off the air? What did you say? I think I went past that. Yeah, we've blown past that. All right. DK, yeah, you're on the clock here. Yeah. I kind of want to look at DK's team. Anybody? Look at me. I'm going Keaton Mitchell. All right, DK, you got it. So you get Derek Kennedy, Ken Walker. Keaton Mitchell is a solid. I have several quarterbacks. That's a solid pick. Good pick. I have a handful of quarterbacks. Oh, jeez. A smattering of quarterbacks to choose from every week. It's actually going to fuck us more because then we have to decide who to start, which is the hard part. I'm going to be deciding between Daniel Jones and Drake May every week. Yes? Go on broken. Oh damn it. Oh nice. Hey, you guys got that? Yeah, you want Johnson? You want Johnson? Okay? Later You gonna take another quarterback change on it, okay, huh? Go on defense you could have got another kicker Texans win, right? I can receive now one for another one. Yeah, yeah make some trades bill Why don't you take Texans and not the Seahawks defense? I love the Texans Seahawks have a harder schedule. I thought about it. That was one a one B. I wanted one of them Great stuff Back in receivers Right There's no world you take him I I saw that I saw that clip where you guys are saying I just can't deal with him 12th round though. Come on. He got hurt He's He's honest he's on the trade block if anyone wants him, all right we get the house I wonder let's throw houses team up DK. What do you think of houses team? Let's see Let's see, he's got a Monroes Meyers Pierce And Aaron Jones Wow Hey, it's gonna score you it's all points all year. You have a lot of players that probably have big fonts on their iPhone So we're in boomer corner bitch house we have your team up which one of these is your one of these I Love that price got where I got Like his first six picks Last not as much Right before Bowers I was surprised by that yeah He did like set the record for he catches a lot of shit digging the rims Good pick. I think we could really screw people on defense. Just saying I Mean you guys won't do it All's Garrett come on crazy Did it was the name decide to come back? I missed it who I get Donald buddy. Yeah, you will go. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you think I'll come back week four Boy, that's nuts What if he's washed 35? How's that? We'll see. I'm giving it one. Suck Are you blindsided? I'm gonna fight him over it By healing they don't suck even if he's like 75% yeah 80% Of what regular Aaron doctor, I mean, I'm pretty good. Otherwise, they might scare it. So I think it's fine now The best available is on the board. We have Chris Godwin. We were shot white Kenny Gainwell. I have my own research right here. Okay, cool Talk to the champ. Okay Rogers Aaron Rogers has complete the fifth You're immunized. It's all HR. This is tough. He's not a doctor, but she can read I just said that All right. Was that you're back. You're taking the defense Broncos defense Wow, okay One Denver Broncos - yeah, that's a good pick. I'm into this Fucking chaos there can only be one day Getting on the defense. Do you need a backup defense? Oh Take one because I have the best one. Oh, that's right either from two rounds ago About that All right, we have bills team up on the board So he's got your mom chase Ashton Jente Nico Collins Colson Loveland, David Montgomery, Sam Laporta Trevor Lawrence and then he went rogue with Brandon Aubrey as the kicker in Texas defense I think Bill is thrilled about that And the best defense wide receivers. Hey wait, I just really says cuz he said I have three of the best positions and then he went and went and had We start we start three what you're talking where oh, yeah, that's true bill has two receivers and then three he took a kicker and a defense Strategy this year Starting lineup bills the fun digs for Brandon Aubrey good deal I want to make sure he listens Brandon Ayuk is available you think is Danny too stubborn to trade one of his best players for a quarterback he'd rather tank the whole season he'll just go down swinging he's in like 14 leagues I actually find Heifetz to be very rational in trade discussions genuinely but you have to wait like pretty far into the season yeah we made a trade last year we did every player I traded you immediately got hurt and then I won the league yeah no you probably you know what but I didn't really benefit from the player you traded no our trade kind of sucked it was one of those like lose-lose but everyone was irrelevant would you like to tell anyone what it was it was like Roma, Dunzay Laporta I sent you a Dunzay, Laporta and you sent me Henderson Petraeve and Henderson and Sam Laporta never played again so Armin A was in the trade everyone got hurt no one played again are you kidding me oh wow are you kidding me that's what you get for doing a quarterback you missed out on Mikhail Lemon really strong hell of a pick Bill hell of a pick Bill Chris is actually pissed I gotta say don't praise me too much because I was gonna take Jacoby Myers who went four rounds ago I'm not praising you at all I'm looking for his name but can't find it that was why I took two minutes I thought DK Metcalf was still on the board which is why it took forever I just couldn't take Khalil Shakir it just makes me sad what's the temperature in here it's so hot a little toasty is that adjustable he's right there right there who is it Godwin is no longer the best player about get that off damn I was off I couldn't do it CR corner I have a different guy in mind hey Chris how you doing over there well I'm disappointed because I think that Mikhail's gonna be incredible I just couldn't do it I couldn't get excited they're starting they're like doing wheel routes with him and shit I like to recover I love the clipboard walk up yeah this is I feel like an offensive coordinator it was like draft day you look like Mike McDaniel right now I do I'm on the right of move I'm on the right of move CR you're gonna take Lemon yeah yeah Vontae Mack no matter what I was I was surprised he was still on the board I didn't really fully understand maybe it's because of the nine quarters in a row not only is he the number two receiver in the Eagles but the number three is Wicks yes and I don't even think you have a number four do you who's your number four just relax Wicks was in a tragic accident where his hands don't work and it just killed him I never thought Wicks was good you gotta write hot water and lemon right all over you that's weird that's hot water and Mackay yeah they could feel better a little bit here with the Eagles yeah that's defense big Fangio I wish I could take the Texans again birds D and then I'll just they're losing streak I guess I'll take Shakir going Khalil Shakir love that guy tough tough tough tough couldn't do it tough tough tough tough tough tough tough so yeah we can forget about that we can throw Sal's team up there so which of these players on your team so far do you think you're gonna hate the most a month into the season I think it's it's not there yet it's not there yet I don't have any of those guys I'm gonna hate Woody look at the board look at the board there's the TV now it's probably Carnell Tate no nobody likes him it's okay it's alright you hate Tate I can't hate Tate come on Craig what do you think of Sal's team I don't know oh what the Bill what are you doing Sal's up yeah I mean he just gets he's just perusing Boomer Corners really having a moment over there boy alright what do you get a lot of strong conversation and analysis and dialogue right now in the group you know how many podcast hosts can you put into a room and have complete silence yeah honestly I feel like you have the wheelbarrow I do I do it's all in a spark Danny loves a lust for life it's a thousand yards you know the time in the movie where you just hear that like piercing tinnitus sound and I'm just like falling out of the tank I'm like I think the knee had a flashbang holy shit God tell me what you think of Sal's team for God's sake I like Jordan Tyson I like that Jordan Tyson he's been paying attention I think he's great I like it he'll be out for a little bit throw him in the IR he'll be fine two star receivers and then two rookies who both have been basically injured for all of us I just want to go one for two with the rookie receivers every year there's one really good rookie receiver and the first one I have a two out of three chance how do you feel about Sal getting the starting Packers running back in round 13 that's the correct thing that's exactly what he should do that's really nice it's rational what's wrong with that well I mean you took the Packers back I know it's a good question actually you guys are exes he's going to train me you guys are exes boomers boomers are our parents pretty thin we're the best generation we don't trust other people I feel like I should be trusting other people you're going Denver strong here you've got the Broncos the Broncos are going to be good let's go let's go let's go let's go let's see I'm going to go Heifetz only taking one QB was spectacular it's an incredible moment that we'll all remember until we die just like I've just got to get back to golden here what are we talking about one of those formative things I'm going to be starting you'll be starting Bryce Young against the Seahawks it's going to be like minus seven you're going to go back as far as Netflix betrayals go oh that's good top ones yeah Gainwell what was that show with Kyle Chandler oh yeah Bloodlines Bloodlines that was good another pick of mine you like this was worse House of Kings I was going to take it I'll just note that that's another pick of mine that DK liked Craig would have made a real big noise if he had seen Kenneth Gainwell go Craig calls him the best player in the NFL wait until he comes back and sees that I took him did catch a 55 to 1 two touchdown bet that I put on television Phil what do you think of Sean's team you got Sean's team up there I think Sean's done a good job and I'm proud of him considering he's been a great player I've been pretending he doesn't follow football when I know he does I'm just so under equipped compared to you guys I might get punished after eviscerating Danny to open this I think he did a spectacular spectacular job yeah it was a heel turn I like this of heel turning us he watches football he follows it he listens to multiple football podcasts draft Hans Zimmer or something he watches the sport I see him talk about the sport he's like life is witty witty marks I like witty defense yeah why not no defense are we doing that as a bet now or is this just happening oh that's nice thanks Hans now I'm you play the Jets and the Dolphins we're going to have a good defense that's a good pick how significant will the fall off for the Patriots be this year we're going to be good we're going to be good more talent than last year is the defense going to be better than last year I think so yeah I mean the schedule is harder what are you googling I have S11 in six S11 is still good S11 will be three hours without looking at S11 will be phenomenal in a Super Bowl hangover I can't say Raven it's a three win draw I had to decide between the Ravens and the Patriots yeah that's what I was deciding and the problem is the Ravens get to play the Browns twice that's what Raven's schedule is a cakewalk I was like whichever one you pick I was going to pick the other one so it wasn't it was an even split Bigsby all right Bigsby smart pick there he is we can put Shane's team up on the screen there we go we all look to you to say best player in the league and then realize you had gone to take a piss tough timing if we put Dave's team up Dan's got the blue running backs oh Bigsby damn it so you've got Travis H.A. and Judge Kins and then Charbonnet and Tank Bigsby yeah okay I'm planning on Barkley to unfortunately get injured early in the season okay the hand okay so you're just basically trying to fuck over Van 100% I love listen I also love I ran Barkley he's not the only motherfucker you know we actually tried to have one of the punishments be Van you have to box Van yeah oh no and we were talked out of it but because we were told you were going to beat the shit out of him no what if he picked that how would that work all shoulders box does well against boxing Jiu Jitsu I'll take that down Jiu Jitsu not going to the ground with anyone it's a different world down there oh yeah you don't know how to do that shit your day you're taking Devo you son of a bitch Devo Devo this shit now do I have to take Curtis I thought about that I thought about that let's see hold on who's the best fat wide receiver ever oh that's a fun question probably fat wide receiver chunky wide outs the best one ever Kelvin you have to go back to the 70s Kelvin Benjamin Kelvin Benjamin that's a good one yeah he was fat the entire time he was like a tight end body plan receiver right Eddie Lacey fat is right best answer yeah see what happens he was thick bad Keenan Allen I'm trying to think of another one besides Devo I'm trying to think of actually another guy that would stick like that. I'm saying he's a one-on-one. Yeah. Who'd you take, TK? Keenan Allen? Keenan Allen. Okay. I think he's still got it. He's never fast, so it doesn't matter. Right. Just gets open and he has a lot of targets every year. Let's go to Seattle where Bryce Young has thrown his fourth interception. Who's their backup? You should get him. It's Kenny Pickett. He's not that bad. They'll just play the injury music the entire game just in case. Kenny Two Gloves. You know, what could go wrong, really? Your entire season. Yes. No technology. Every good defense is gone. What are you doing? Bill. Shut that shit down. I'm texting my daughter. She had a scrimmage today. Aw. That's nice. They won 3-2 and she's scoring on the heartstrings. What a bunch of bullshit. The dollar, a.k.a. Matthew Berry. We're supposed to believe you? She scored a lefty foot goal she said. So you said. What are you like in the league right now? I was like. All right. Hi, Fitz. Let's not take 10 minutes. All right. I think I'm going to capitulate. Next year, anyone who claims they're texting instead of Googling should have to like broadcast it onto the broadcast. Finley scored on a free kick and Brady had to go off a corner kick. You're showing us a text where the last texts are not from you even though we just saw you hit send. Today at 12.15. Finley. It's one. Shut up to Finley. Oh, Will. This is still on the board. What were you guys thinking? Yeah. That's all code for take the injured wide receiver from ASU. Oh, yeah. Will Levis is here. Oh, yeah. Will Levis. You got to take Aaron Rodgers. You got to be thinking a little bit ahead there. Just draft to him now and we'll pop this. Oh, my God. You're not taking Aaron Rodgers. Who are you going to take? They're more. Oh, he's going to panic. We'll do something fucking nice. Panics. Isn't he not the starter? That's kind of a nice pick. Panics rising. He's not the starter, though, right? He's going to start with Panics. My hedge against Michael Penix's fourth ACL tear is I'm going to be the hungry caterpillar at next year's draft. Congratulations. I'm going to be the hungry caterpillar because I kind of realized if I didn't take a defense, you guys were going to do the defense thing and I was going to get stuck with 77 hot dogs. Don't worry. That's what I'm going to do. Next year's draft, eat everything it is. I'm taking the hungry caterpillar. What did the hungry caterpillar eat in the book? Who remembers? Yeah, so the punishment list, I basically was like worried you guys would do that again with the punishments. So I'm taking a punishment. So I'm going to be next year if I come in last, I'm going to have to be the hungry caterpillar at next year's draft and eat all the hungry caterpillar shit. But there's going to be a punishment run at some point and all you turn on me, you're going to turn on each other with these punishment suits because someone's going to be like, all right, come on. What does the caterpillar eat, do you know? It's like some apples or something and then the chaff is in Terry Bradshaw's book. You're about to make a speech. No, I'm just ready to go. Cupcakes. Yeah, everybody's ready to go. I just peed, I feel good. Let's go. It's pretty good. Everything he eats is awesome. I'm doing pretty good now. Chris Rodriguez on the Jags. He's actually pretty good. Good job. Enjoy. I'm going to do a 13th round. For Washington, he'll be a million. I was like, oh, he's so good? Yeah, because he had three runs. Oh, that's right. You did the slits. Yeah. Hold on, hold on. That was less cowardly than my pick. That was good. You're like, I'm going to cut him. All right. Jonah Coleman. Fucking cut that guy. Nice. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that pick. Good job. This is just taking my sleepers. Good pick. That's fun. That's your year of sleepers. That's your sleepers. A year of sleepers. Now we're flying. That's right. Coleman. I can't believe Heifetz didn't take Cam Ward. I think Cam Ward's going to suck, and I think Michael Penix is going to actually be good. Penix's not. No, but you could have taken him after Michael Penix because you have Bryce Young and Michael Penix as your quarterbacks. I want three quarterbacks. Then who's going to be the caterpillar? Exactly. 49ers defense to Van. Ellis, you guys in that defense, Van? Yeah. Do you need running backs? Brent Warner's back. Heifetz, you took the caterpillar? That's the key. Yeah, I took the caterpillar. The backer. I'm waiting to see when the punishment run is going to start. You have to eat 77 hot dogs in a month here. That sounds wonderful. I would do that just for fun. Joel's going to have a tough time. No. Fuck no. It's two hot dogs a day, basically? That's fine. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. You only take a punishment run if you're afraid to lose. Period. House might draft that. You have to eat it like that. You have to dip it in the water and just dig it. I mean, it's preferable. There you go. You did it. I think that makes it a little bit more good. All right, little Washington. Are you hearing good things about that? We're flying it. Dave takes Chica Cuanco, the tight end from Washington, and then Kate takes Tajay Spears, the running back from the Titans. That's the first player I've not heard of in this draft. Which one? Tajay Spears. He's good. He's the Tony Pollard insurance. He's the DeWalt Ray. But I know 300 NFL players. I mean, there you go. Everybody here had heard of him, right? Every other person here? I've never heard of him. No, I didn't know about him. Oh, okay. Oh. I think it was Joe Housberg. Joe Housberg. Yeah, I got her. Joe, that's where I was going. That's a good pick. I guess I got to make my second choice there. Nope, that's not who I want. I didn't want to double up with her. Jake's off the board. I didn't even realize. Jake Ferguson's off the board? Yeah, Craig picked him. You could have had him at 11. Yeah, but then I would have had your team. Um. Can we put Craig's team up? Craig came in last last year. Yep. Can we put Craig's team up here on the board? But not by points. He's still still in the punt. Correct. I got seventh, really. It was your fault. No, you didn't. The hot dog was pretty funny. All right, so Craig has James Cook and Chase Brown are running back. And how do voice trackers want to know what happened? I'm nervous. Lutherbird and Drake May, Devont Adams, Parker Washington, Henderson, Warren. Craig, which of these guys is going to fuck you? That's the funniest one. Oh, God. What do we make of Craig's list? Nice. I mean, I don't know. You know, they don't even use that. Trivia was a thing. It was probably the one What was the old joke you guys just made? Craig's list. Craig's. Oh, yeah. Oh, Craig's list. Remember Craig's list? I, yeah, I heard of it. Never bought anything on Craig's list. Ah, damn. Really? That's how I got my first apartment on Craig's list. Damn, that whole apartment was Craig's old house. No defense. No, Craig's was flipped. It got a little bit darker on Craig's list. There was a dead body on the apartment. That was the most interesting thing about Craig's list. Watching people have their misconnections. I think so, too. They were fascinating. Craig's list had misconnections? Yeah, it was a whole part of Craig's list where, like, if you saw somebody but you didn't say something, you can go in there and put it on there in hopes that they would see it and then reach out. You were dressed like a hungry caterpillar. You were eating all the food from the books. I never got your name. If you see this, reach out. Reach out. With me, we'll become butterflies. Sorry about Bradshaw. Procedural question about the punishments? Yes. The trick-or-treating? My choice of neighborhood or your choice? Or, like, the winner's choice? Danny Kelly loves my team. Good to know. You have to get ten items from ten houses. I'm the only Ravens who left what I was actually sad about. From anywhere. What if I send you to, like, the Denver Lane Bloods hood or something like that? We're going to find out if CRU really exists. Where was Jed York? I'm going to go there. It's in East Palestine, Ohio. He's going to teach him to dance. He's broke the deal, please. This was a miracle. I took a big gamble. Oh, he fell to you? Oh, for real? I really needed Mike Washington on the Raiders as gentee backup, and I thought something was going to fuck me, but y'all fell asleep, and now it is back. I should have told them. That's a nice pick. I thought now I was going to come right in there and ram it, but now. I'm going to take Mike Washington. All right, Hunter Henry. Another one. Hunter Henry. Oh, wow. Great guy. So, can we just point out that Bill literally in a league where you have to start three receivers. You're not going to be able to play. I mean, I guess Lennon is your third? Still does not have. Bill has. Yeah, I was going to say you have Tyson and Makai Lemon, but Tyson's not going to be able to play. He's out two and a half months. So, you have Lennon if he plays. Are you talking about somebody else's draft strategy? I just want to make sure. You like it. You're into it. Yeah. My neighbors are great. I'll just. That's my man. They'll be like, Chris, and they'll be like, give me a fucking tip-off. You have to say trick-or-treat. Go talk to people. Well, whatever. They'll just be like, why are you here on the Super Bowl? You say I'm trick-or-treating. Aren't the Eagles playing later? I'll be like, yeah. I'm about to go. I thought you were going to sell your ass on the street when you wrote trick-or-treat. Trick-or-treat. Trick-or-treat what whores do for money. Oh, my God. Who are we taking? Jalen Knoll? Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. I like that. Who are you taking? Jalen Knoll? Jalen Knoll in Houston, Texas. Uh-huh. Chris, what race is Jalen Knoll? I see a human being with Sean's arm. There you go. Jesus Christ. I don't see color. I don't see color. I don't see color. I don't know the answer to that question. You know a lot of white dudes named Jalen? Name a fatter black receiver than Jalen Knoll. Man, is there a white Jalen? No, I've never seen one before. Ever. Jalen? Oh, that's a great call. Jalen? It's got to be a white Jalen. I haven't seen one before. We only have Khalil Green. Is there a white Tate? Who's the most famous white Jalen? I mean, Tate is only white people, right? No, there's a lot of black Tates, too. First name? Lorenz Tate, I guess, is the last name. That's last name. Nobody took Rasheed Shaheed for some reason and he's fucking good I'm happy to have him on my team and I might start him in week one You might have to Stay healthy I love this guy When they traded for him remember I texted you immediately I was like Jesus Christ How do you get Rasheed Shaheed? You can run I'm breaking my my Raven's rule because this guy's going to roll Wait, Jacoby? Jacoby Lane High upside Another pick Danny Kelly likes Can't miss First practice squad got taken Yeah Yeah Yeah We'll see All right I think he's on the extended roster I don't follow football I'm not familiar with these players I'm taking Jack Beck Oh, Jack Beck Is that how he announced it? He might not actually know LSU It's called Jack Bash Jack Bash LSU Is he the number one receiver on the Raiders? He could be He might be Probably going to be It's him or Trey Tucker Probably Familiar with Trey's work Yeah, yeah I've enjoyed Jack's work this preseason Oh, Jalen McMillan It's the year of the Baker Jalen McMillan Okay All right, we're cruising now Chris Godwin 36 138 How many Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 130 Where's the seal? What are you doing? He's warming up Okay I'm getting up I had to take it off My favorite gambler outside of Sal Oh, yeah We got Calvin Ridley Oh, my God Is he still in the league? I know Incredible He's on the Titans Nice Did you just say my favorite gambler outside of Sal? That's kind of a banger line there Great job All right Dave's up Wonderful Make another quarterback just for fun? I wish Do you regret joining this team? league yet? No, no, no, no, no, no. Chang's having the best time. I'm having a great time. His pick time counter is by far the lowest, I think. Oh, absolutely. So we talk shit during the season. Do I have to talk shit to your assistant and then they'll tell you? You're lucky if you're lucky. I want to do it when I get your phone number. It's a fucking great response. Dylan Sampson. Man, who do you got? Yep. Okay, the best available. There are some players that have fallen. I know. Rashad White. Rashad White just sat there. Speaking of that, Rashad White got hurt during the Ice Bucket Challenge. Is that why Van and Tate didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge when we tagged you? It's Tate's fault. No, I did the Ice Bucket Challenge. You just didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge. We tagged you. Tate legitimately didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge. No, there's only one guy who doesn't know it. I'm being for real. Tate didn't want to do it. I did it. I sent the video in. Tate did it after we banned him. Billy didn't send the video in. You guys all did it for nothing. Why can't you do it? You just dumped water on your head for no reason. I was like, yes, allegedly. Van hates charity. Legitimately, we were all set to do it, and then Tate said, it's too much. Look at me. This is actually a really good lesson. You should always stick to your story. You two fuckers. Oh my God. It's not about politics, guys. We got to be able to come together and disagree. Is this the one I used to write on you? That's too good. He's not even that good. Didn't he fall in love last year? He's terrible. I hope I'm spelling this right. Yeah, so Van, can you elaborate on Harrison Bucker as your kicker? This is my dream. Well, I mean, look, I'm trying to make the type of world that I want to see. You can just do it. You can just do it, Van. I miss having hair. That's good. Go ahead and just do it. Can we put DK going to Turkey? Can we like put that on like this? Yes. That's different. I think it might be too late. Yeah. But there's some great Tupac content on Instagram. I'll send you some real stuff. It's interesting. Go to Turkey for the Thanksgiving. I get a lot of haircuts. Turkey day. My algorithm is vast. DK, you can get it out of the way. Just wear a Tupac to some of your live shows this season. You guys are doing a few shows. And just not say anything about it. Just show up with a Tupac. Yeah. Bill, what do you think about Van taking Bucker? Excuse me. I don't see any judgment in fantasy. It's a group of randomly collected people. James Cook? No, it's not always random. I don't have to worry about a locker room. Who's the backup to ATN, HN on New Orleans? It's like Camara, but he's hurt. No, he's not on a book. Yeah, right. Yeah, but he's not. He's hurt. He's the backup to that. It could be Kendrick Miller. Kendrick Miller. Yeah. I had him for a minute last season. That sucks for me. It's like South still really wants somebody. I'm trying to think. Well, now it's the punishment. No, it's the punishment and kicker. Yeah, we don't have a kicker yet. How long is Camara out? Like a couple months? No, one month. All right, I'm taking the Chargers defense. They're just not as into him as they used to be. They just not as into him as they used to be. Tyson and Lemon. That's good. He's old. He's old. He's only like 31, 32. Three's coming back. Three's a good number. Dude, he's been in the league a long time. Is he kicking me? I think you're Chargers defense. I'm sure he's probably fucked up. Not as much as Nicky Washington. But he was getting a million times too many. Where did he go to college? Tennessee. His third ranked. If I didn't get Washington. If I didn't get him, they also had two incredible guys like back-to-back that were Arian Foster. All right. I'm going to take Ray Lyle because Breeze Hall is literally hurt. Jamal Lewis. Oh, yeah. 2005. Jamal Lewis, bad man. So Craig is a brown guy. I want to know when people start taking punishments. Are you doing punishments now? I don't know. It's about to get to the punishment. We did it. People haven't taken them. That's true. I'm going to do the hot beer, cold hot dogs. That's fucking gross, man. The punishments. So Craig's taking weed, hot dogs, and cold beer and you have cold dogs and hot beer. I'm worried about the punishment. I like my team. That's just because you're not going to do it. You don't want to stand by that guy? It doesn't matter. He'll just be like, no. Ice cream to children. And you would not know if you lost. No one has anything to say to that. Ice fucking challenge. That was Tate's fault. I'm honest. Show the video. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying, y'all. You're lying. I had the video. You want to see my video? We begged Tate for more. I had the video. I had the video. I had the video. We had to make him. It's all a tailgate. I'll show you the video. We had to make him. By the time. And then after his video. After his video. What are you saying? You're doing gaslighting. This is gaslighting. I'm telling you guys. Yeah. I promise. I'm not using technology. I'm showing a video to everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a pro. I'm a pro. I'm a pro. I'm a pro. DK, you're up. DK, you're up. Take care. Take care. So the punishment's left. DK, you took a bald cap and you're going to do toupee. I'm the hungry caterpillar. We're playing this on the protest. I was going to take a picture. And then I'm breaking the rules. Bang. We did it. We did it. What do we got? Jack. Yeah, he did it. So what did you expect? What did you expect? He did it. No, he's not doing it. Y'all don't know the timeline of how this happened. Van, you're up, by the way. All right. Did he take a-- did Van take a-- he did take a punishment. Van has the Vanilla Ice eye bracelets. I hope it happens. What was with that? What you mean? Just the Vanilla Ice. I just-- that was before my time. Motherfuckers were sly, huh? He didn't invent that. Yeah, he did. Other people did that? Oh, sure. Yeah, plenty of people. Yeah, Ronald Reagan. Vanilla Ice didn't do shit. He did shit that a black man didn't do first. Did Gene Hackman have them? Gene Hackman had slits in their eye-- Yeah. You never saw French Connection? Van, Tucker Carlson's available, if you want. Have you not seen French Connection? Damn, Tucker Carlson. I'm taking Keishon. Nice. All right. Texans. That's kind of crazy. Booty? I thought about him. Yeah. Who are you taking? I thought about Booty. This is the right range for him. Is this because you missed on Diggs and you're mad about the freak factor? No, I like him. He's good. Do you have any stories you can tell on him? All the Pats fans love him. Aw, man. Bo Keishon. He made a-- he was betting on games under his own name. Really? Yeah. Awesome. Bet on yourself. Bet on yourself. Yeah. Awesome. That's awesome. Good for him. Tanked out? Ooh. Tanked out. I like that. Tanked out. Damn. Leaving the punishment unfair. Another one leaving the punishment. Moving quicker. Oh, Joel's doing my punishments. Man, I was-- Hey, bro. Honestly, I'm going to crowdsource the words. I thought he had been drafted. I was looking for him. The Buckner thing should be rescinded. You're looking for Del? I was looking for Fairbairn. Fairbairn. House going naked punishment for the last round. Wow. I still didn't get it. I like it. Oh, house, you fucking bro. Of all the punishments that are left, I'm into. Oh, man. They're all treats. I actually think these guys are actually underrated kickers. They're all treats. Fairbairn's actually-- Fairbairn can also do the 70. Fairbairn's good. I think if you took them in the seventh round, still underrated. I just can't tell you what everyone's going to say. I love that it was like, kickers in the eighth round are done. Everyone's like, fuck that guy. No quarterbacks for him. I've always wanted Brandon Aubrey. Wow. We got it. Wow. For my whole life. That's good. Bruce Boswell. Oh, the boss. Most clutch kicker in the league. Good. Mal, defending champion. I dare you to pick a player I don't like. So what are you going to-- how are we going to make this easy? He throws up Deshaun Watson. DK, your favorite kicker. Yeah, that's for me. An old Jake. An old Jake Bates. I know everything about Jake Bates. A piece of that offense. He used to sell bricks. Bill, you're up. I had two guys I liked, but they're both available. Need a kicker? Tough. Backup kicker. Stinking hard. Do you want the papers? No. We're in our. He's really thinking about it. You want another quarterback? They're hitting under all the kick red. Where are the yellow stickers? It's still funny to me. Oh, my God. You know what? Did I disrupt your concentration? He just shouldn't still be available. I would never wish entering on a player, but I do think it's going to be so funny when Bryce Young breaks both arms in week one. I'm wrong. That's a good pick, Bill. I think so, isn't it? It's just a scataboo short. Yeah, it is. They have a good offensive line. They're pretty good. All right. What happened? This all felt fine. Wow, you fucked me on that one, Bill. That run Tracy? He's got to go back to the lab now and figure out what he's got. Go ahead. Say something. Go ahead. Yeah, see? Oh, my God. Incredible. Oh, good play. What did he say? What did he say? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So, yeah, whoever loses has to run this next game, right? Yeah. Yeah, so get ready to do it again, buddy. That's really the downside. Yeah, I like that. I think that's a great pick. And then. You need a punishment. Oh, you have the trick. That's right. That's right. Sorry. You need a kicker? I got a kicker. Dicker. Yeah, I got a kicker. Kicker. Well, you can just do whatever you want. You can just do whatever you want now. A lot of dead air. We're at the end of a ruin here. Sean, do you regret participating in this event today? I've had a great time. As always, a class organization. Yeah, I need one, too. Pleased with everything. Amazing. Supremely well-run. Wish I didn't eat that spicy falafel. Could have done without that. Aside from that, that was. That had been sitting out for an unclear period of time. That was from two days ago. All right. You can make it. You can prepare it. That was a. We'll split it. Sal, don't take that one. Give it to me. No, I look forward to it. What do you mean? You can prepare it. I'm going to make it delicious. Are you going to eat your. I might do this tonight. Prepared by Dave Chang. How good is that? I'm not making it out of the way now. He's so upset. There's other eating. Just don't talk about his hog farm when you eat it. What's wrong with the hog farm? That's like a rule. You can't talk about Terry's hog farm. Who's hog farm? It's like Fight Club rule. Yeah, it's a rule. I'm taking for my punishment four hours of Pat McAfee's album. That would be a treat. That's great. Really, just for the awful announcing post that he'll try to make it seem like. Yeah. Sitting in Slams back at me. It's like, no, it's a fucking fantasy punishment. You losers. Slams. Damn. There are a couple of punishments here that I think are exciting, so I'm torn. That's not a punishment. I mean, that's kind of one. Do I want the two cans of cold soup? Delicious. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The winner picks the soup. Could the winner pick, like, clam chowder? Yeah, absolutely. I'm going chicken corn chowder. That's totally fine. You keep some, like, Imodium AD on hand, you're good to go. Clam chowder. Clam chowder's got to be the worst. Clam chowder is fine. Cold clam chowder. The hot dog, the 76 hot dogs in 30 days is interesting to me. I don't know why. We already had it. We already had it. Yeah. Wow. I know it's excellent, but I love a hot dog. Do I get to decide how they're prepared? Like a nice grill? I honestly think my wife would have picked that in the first round and then take the draft. Delicious. That's what I used for this. Like I had to get 76 dogs. There's a cap on. Now, you could do it all at Camden Yards, too. That would be great. Exactly. Sounds great. Wash it down with some boogs. 76. Three hours. That's not bad. Hot dogs. Not good. Okay, so the punishment's. Not good. So the punishment so far, we have Bill is going. Again, if you come in last place, Bill is going to listen to the Pat McAfee album on repeat during NFL Sunday Night Live. I might do that. Not even after I win. Mel's going to do two and a half hot dogs a day for an entire month. 76. However you get through 76 in a month. That's a crazy amount of hot dogs. Fucking nuts. Chris, you're going to go trick-or-treating and have to. Not Halloween. Not even October, and you have to collect 10 items from 10 different houses. No problem. But you can dress up. Sean has no punishment in the seventh round. Tate does not have a punishment yet on the board. Joel. I'm sorry. Joel's not. Joel's doing your punishment for you. The beauty is that Joel. I did the draft. He's doing the punishment. There's no accountability on that show. Matt says you didn't do the ALS. You said. Did you see the evidence? You did do it. You didn't see the evidence. Okay. DK's going to wear a toupee. He might do that anyway. It's not a hot dog. Craig, you're going to do hot beer, cold dogs. I'm going to dress as the hunky caterpillar next year, and then Van's doing Vanilla Ice eyebrow slits, and then Chang and Tate and Joel have not picked punishments yet. Nor House, which I respect. I'm going to crowdsource Joel's punishment and see what you guys think. Anybody who picked a punishment before the last round should be ashamed. Even the toupee? Mal, pipe down. Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, but you took it in the seventh round. Wow. Upside pick. Okay. Last pick? I was wondering if you were going to do that or Kenyon. Is House retired from House Eats? Is that over? Kenyon Sadiq. Yeah. No, it's a. Yesterday, a few days ago, Danny Hype had said to us after a recording that he could eat House under the table and could do all you could eat sushi and would be silly. I really wanted to take it, but it's scary. All you could eat sushi. You do not want to fuck with me. Seems like it's going to be amazing. I'm still going to do sushi for four hours. You had a good round. He's a little bigger than you. He said he didn't want to fuck with you. Sushi, you don't want to fuck with me because sushi, you do not want to fuck with me. I already invite myself on every Ringer podcaster and look at how I dress. He's going as fast as a clown. Yes. That was what I wanted to do. This is full professional clown makeup. Clown car wash. Clown car wash. Clown car wash is an incredible. House, you have to do that at least for worse contracts. Oh my God. That's really funny. That's really funny. Come on the watch. Absolutely. Just. We're talking about everyone's podcast. With Jim upset with me for taking the punishment. I know. People who have multiple pods, does he have to go on less? I am. As if that's the goal. Does he have to go on less? Everyone might say. Does he have to go on midnight boys? Higher learning. You can go in the flair. Skip it. You have to watch it. You have to watch a movie. I can't do that. You have to do more pie. You have to do. What is that? Cold soup. Cold soup. Cold soup. Is that what's going on? Cold soup. Cold soup. Cold soup. Cold soup. Cold soup. Cold soup. Okay. DK, yeah. You gotta give me AJ Brown. DK, you have your punishment. So you're picking a player after Dan. Okay. You're picking a player after DK. And then Tate. You give me rice and soup. You're foisting upon Joel right now. So Joel can't watch Super Bowl Live and he has to re-watch Tropic Thunder. Oh, that's good. That is amazing. Sal and I want to do a trade already. He's very upset with me. So he took his last place. I want to eat the book and he's going to have the soup. Okay? Okay. I'm going to eat the book. Okay? Is that okay? Yeah. Cold soup? Approved. Sure. Approved. Are you trading the punishment? Dave's going to prepare the book. He's very. He's upset that I took his punishment. He's going to prepare a delicious book. What is. You know what? I don't have the energy, but sure. That's. Wait. Why are you foisting your punishment upon Joel? What is the reason for that? Because I did the draft. Yeah. We're sharing a team. I did the draft. He does the punishment. I'm going to make a sauce by burning the fucking book. It's going to be tremendous. It's going to be delicious. So it's at least. I won't come in last place because that'll be canny, but. Right. It's more than this, right? A chapter? I don't know. A chapter? You have to look. It's probably. It's more than that. It's more than that. I guarantee you. These are half delicious. I'm going to take the Vikings deep in that topic. Okay. I'm going to make it invaluable. I'm going to take it anyway. There's a series of. What if it ends up being like two weeks? What we're going to do is. Yeah. You guys are going to come on my show and I'll make the book and I will do it anyway. Oh, that's good. Burn Terry's book on air, and I'm going to turn it into a delicious sauce, and we'll serve it on top of veal chow. I love that. I want that. You fucking did it, guys. A burnt vinaigrette. That's a good pick, poor chef. Just go in the arbitrage, man. Thank you, everyone, for not. Well, I should kind of metaphorically did stab me in the heart. What was the worst part for you? I think it's when his voice broke when he said Verizon. That was pretty bad. Thank you, everyone, for watching probably the last Ring of Fantasy football. Who do we think had the best draft? Oh, there we go. We should do both. Let's see so much analysis. Amongst us. I mean, let's see. I like Mal's team. Kind of hard to take it all in, Mal's team. Thanks, guys. Easy, man. Guy with no punishment had the best draft, right? I think fantasy. I would say Dave's team, if you just swapped Swift and Judkin, I would kind of have no issue other than the kicker in the eighth round but it was close Danny you should have said Sean's team just to Sal's team is pretty good Sal doesn't have a lot of holes thank you brother as usual no holes I'm super happy with my team thank you wow what a shock I'm really happy with it wide receivers hey Danny great fucking job man thank you everybody for watching live on Netflix the Ringer Fantasy Football Show we have everybody here at the Ringer thank you everybody for watching and I will be here this time next year dressed as the Hungry Caterpillar so please check that out thank you thank you once again this is powered by Verizon so please check that out so thank you to Verizon thank you to Netflix and thank you to Spotify look at the pro they're never coming back how did a pickle get over there goodbye everyone must be 21 plus and present in select states for candidates Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in D.C. Kentucky or Wyoming gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland hope is here visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 1-800-GAMBLER or call 1-800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York for Louisiana call 1-877-770-7867