The Questions Families Don't Say Out Loud (E)

I want to teach you how to look, how to answer these questions. And I want you to have a hunger and a knowledge to be able to go out and seek the answers for yourself in God's Word, the one source of truth that really matters. See, there's a type of series where you bring the unchurched in, this type of series where you bring those people that have asked you these questions that have kind of stumped you. You say, "Hey, you want the answer? You come into church." You're not afraid to answer those questions. See, this is the type of series that those answers are found. And as you're going to learn during this series, the confusion in all of this is not in God's Word. It's honestly not. God doesn't leave us in the gray area. It's not the fact that when you went and asked somebody else, they were stumbling over the answer. The fact is that they never took time to learn the answer for themselves. So how could they give the answer to you? They can't give you something they don't have themselves, but we're going to find that out in this series. The confusion is not in God's Word. It's in our lack of understanding. But I want to set up some ground rules before we ever get started. Before we ever go down these next four weeks, let's go ahead and get on the same field at together, okay? Number one, everyone has opinions. Everyone has opinions, okay? The last thing we need is another one, don't need an opinion. We are answering these questions based on what's popular or what you may want to hear. We're answering these questions based on God's Word, the one source of truth. Let's see where the Bible speaks clearly, but we believe it and we live it. Where it speaks clearly, we walk in it. And when it's not as clear, then we lean on God's Word for knowledge. We lean on God's Word for wisdom. And that's how we answer those questions. You know, questions like, who do you marry? Questions like, where should I work? Questions like, you know, who do I vote for? We may not be able to find the direct answer, but we can find the basis for finding them. And if you agree with me, that's okay. It's okay if you agree with me. If you disagree with me, that's okay too. You can be as wrong as you want to be. You can be, after all, there are still people that cheer for Alabama. Right? Just saying, but in all seriousness, right? We're not doing this series to cause more chaos or more confusion. We're doing this so that you can have knowledge, not so that we can be right, but so that you can know what it's like to be more like Jesus. Before we start, let's go to Lord and prayer. You're Heavenly Father. Father, as we answer these questions, Father, that have been asked. Father, we just ask that you open ears and you open hearts, Father, so that truth can be heard, Father, but that it can find a place to be rooted in their hearts. So that if Father, even the hardest pill to swallow, the hardest thing, the hardest thing to have to hear can still be heard with love and that it can be a seed that can grow inside of them to produce fruit in their life, Father, after all, that is the goal. So that as the saints leave here today, they do so better equipped, stronger, ready to tackle the problems of the world and ready to spread your word wherever they tread. So Father, let them hear the truth today, but let it not be stolen from them. Let them tuck it away in their heart. In Jesus' name, we pray, amen. Nothing is because there are so many questions, we're going to answer multiple ones each week. So this week, we're going to tackle three of them. Three hard questions and it's all about the family. We're going straight to the greatest thing that God created and that's the family. You ready? Our question number one is living together before marriage really a sin. You know, the thing is, is that a Barnard poll tells us that 65% of adults believe that cohabitation before marriage is actually a good idea. 65% out there believe that's the way to go and look, I get it, trust me. I do. I get the attraction of it. I'm not going to sit here and be a stuffy pastor that says, just don't do it. I understand. After all, we're just walking out of that season of having the same troubles, of having the same temptations. I mean, every Saturday and every Sunday, well, every Saturday, Friday Saturday and Sunday to be honest with you, if for the last several months, it was really the fact that we had a decision to make, I would either pack up and drive an hour south to Jennings to go and spend time with Laurie and her family or she would drive this way. That's two hours out of every day that we would spend on the road. So I understand the temptation. It was hard and then, and then whenever we were building on the house and we were adding onto the house, boy, there was a lot of times, there was a conversation of, you know, just be a whole lot easier if you didn't have to pack up and just go home and we could just work until it was time to go to bed and it'd be over with. The temptation was there. You know, all the same temptations hit when you say, well, it saves money, that if we would just move together, it would save us some money. I agree. Gas was four dollars a gallon. He's just an hour away, right? We're both in ministry, right? It gets expensive after a while. I understand. How about they say, well, it's a test drive. It's a test drive. We're just trying to test drive marriage to see if it works. I get it. I do because commitment is scary. How can I commit to somebody that I don't even know what it's like to live with them? I get it. I do. And when you say, we'll get married one day, so what's a piece of paper? My response to that is, if it's just a piece of paper, then why not sign it? Because after I sit here and I tell you that we had all the temptations, I'm going to tell you that the temptation was never to move in together before we were married. That was never on the table. The temptation was, let's pull up the wedding. Because after all, we knew that we loved each other, but more importantly, we knew that we loved and honored God. So the temptation was never to sin. The temptation was to advance things to pull it under his covering sooner. It's just a piece of paper, right? It's just a commitment, right? And let's just face it, the verse, there's no verse in the Bible that says, "Thou shalt not live together." It doesn't exist. You can look. I have. It doesn't say it. But you know what is in the Bible? Not about marriage and immorality. There's a whole lot about sexual immorality. Genesis 2.24 says this explains why a man leaves his father and his mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. See when you get married, this is not just a private commitment that you decide in your heart. This is actually a holy covenant, a holy covenant before a holy God that you bring yourself into so that you can join together. You know, it was actually quite disappointing for me because me and Lori did a covenant wedding, did a covenant marriage. And it was surprising to me because when we walked into the courthouse to get our marriage license, she tried to talk us out of it. When we walked into the courthouse to get this, she didn't know me and she didn't know Lori and it was surprising because everybody knows Lori and Jennings. But they didn't know her, but we walked into the courthouse and she was like, you know, most people don't do that. Why don't you just do it through your church? And we're like, we are, but our commitment is solid. Well, and she literally had to leave from talking to us to go and ask another person in the office, "Hey, what is a covenant marriage and how do I do this?" Literally had to go and ask someone else, "Do they have the right paperwork? What paperwork do they need? Why do they need this? Why are they doing this?" It was a whole conversation. She left for like 10 minutes and came back and she's like, "It looks like you have everything you need." Y'all, and that bothered me. That bothered me because I sit here and I'm thinking, "Oh, we that flip it about marriage, that a covenant marriage is that archaic and stands out that much, that people don't know how to even do it anymore." That bothered me, y'all. That bothered me in a way that when I'm working on this sermon, it brought up some feelings about it, and the fact that, "Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this?" Two are united into one. Why is it that people think that sharing your bed makes it a marriage? Why is it that people think that sharing your expenses or even sharing your Netflix account? Oh, well, that's a relationship. Why have we watered it down so much that that is okay, and that that constitutes a relationship? It's not what God had intended. Because let's face it, living like your Mary doesn't make you married in God's eyes. We're not common law in this. It's not the same. So let's talk about what living together outside of marriage actually does, and what God actually says about it. Because number one, it fuels sexual temptation. The Bible tells us about the gift of sex, and yes, sex is a gift. If it isn't in your relationship, you need to start checking up. Hebrews 13 4 says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure. For God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. God designed sex. He designed it to be between one man and one woman before God in the covenant of marriage. If your goal is to honor God with your body, lie next to each other every night doesn't work unless you're married. Pastor, could we live together and not have sex? I've actually been asked that question. Could we live together and not have sex? Well, let me ask you a question. I'm going to do an illustration, so I'm hoping that you can all see me. Let's imagine that this is a hard line, okay? This is a hard line that exists between a moral life and an immoral life. Okay? Can we all agree to that? What is this? Moral? What is this? - Immoral. - Okay. And imagine that every step that you take brings you closer and closer to that line. You ever been dating and things start getting hot and heavy? And then all of a sudden you decide we need to stop because this isn't right. Now go home with that person. How close are you getting to the line then? How about, oh, we can just do this and then we can stop this one time. Congratulations, you were strong one time. Can you continue to be strong the second or the third? There's a lot of babies that are born out there that would disagree with you. I'm just saying, there's a whole lot of times that we struggle with this temptations in every decision that we make kids to see they're further away from that line or closer to that line to where we're going to step over it. Because after all, we are only people. So then the decision that you have to make every decision that you make is how close to this line can I go? Because eventually you're going to strip over it. And that's what ends up happening. So yes, you can live together and remain holy, sure. But is that really given God your best? Is that really doing what you're supposed to do? Are you truly playing with fire? Also living outside of marriage? Well, it lessens the commitment of marriage, doesn't it? To me, one study showed that after six years, after people started cohabitating, only 46% of couples actually make it. The negative that you have written here says 54 don't. But the truth is that only 46 do. You want to know what the real big success in all of that is? That out of the 54% that break up or the 46 that actually make it, only 33% of that 46% stay together. How low do the numbers have to go before we say it's not a good idea? Another survey found that cohabitating couples who married had a higher likelihood of divorce than those who didn't. Putting intimacy before commitment trains your heart to look for an escape hatch. Well, I can get out of this. I'm not committed to it. But covenant puts commitment before intimacy. And that's in the right order. Now, if you love Jesus and you're living together, you may be asking, what should I do? What should I do? I've already got myself into this situation. You're not going to like my answer. Because I've had the same conversation with multiple couples. And to be honest with you whether they follow my advice or not, that's between them and God. But here's the deal. If that's what you're doing, you've got some stuff out of order. And it's okay. It's okay. You messed up. Now you've got to get it in order. So my advice, move out. My advice, abstain. My advice, ask God to bless this relationship without you challenging His timeline. And if you can't do all of that, talk to Miss Lisa. I'll put on 50 weddings this week if I have to. But let's get it right. Let's get it right before the Lord. Let's ask Him to bless us because it's those same people that are struggling in their relationship. It's the same people that put things ahead of God that end up in my office and they're like, I don't understand why we're having all this trouble. I don't understand why our relationship is upside down. I don't understand why God isn't blessing us. Really? You completely took Him out of your relationship. And you're asking Him to honor it. And you're asking Him to speak into it. It's not too late to get it right. It's never too late to get it right. And for those couples that just absolutely cannot separate, then I'm going to ask you because I've told them, I've told this to couples before. Can you abstain? From this point on, can you abstain up until your wedding night? Because how about you reestablish that intimacy and that specialness that your wedding night is supposed to be? What a gift you would be giving each other if you could abstain to that point and put things right in God's eyes. How wonderful would that truly be to get it right? But please hear me. No matter what you heard through that, understand that it's not about guilt. It has nothing to do with guilt of your past and it's nothing to do with guilt of your present. It has to do with you having the knowledge of what it is to walk with God in your relationships. It's about giving God your best. And it's about asking His best for you. That way Jesus, I know that the way of Jesus has counter-cultural, but trust me when I tell you it is absolutely the best. So next question, what do I do if I don't love my spouse anymore? What do I do if I don't love my spouse anymore? If your marriage is struggling, I'm praying for you, understand that, I'm praying for you and we need to talk, but you need to understand that your marriage isn't over. And I'm gonna tell you this also, let me just, before we go any further, I want to put this in there. I am not talking about an abusive marriage. I am not talking about a marriage where abuse is taking place because please understand that a marriage license and a covenant marriage before the Lord does not give excuse for an abusive relationship. There is no place in a relationship for violence, ever, ever. We are not created to be floor mats or punching bags. What I'm talking about is feelings. What I'm talking about is a position of the heart because look, I know that feelings are real, but the other thing about feelings that you can count on is that feelings change. Just because you feel this way today doesn't mean that you will always feel this way. And you don't feel the way you do right now the same way that you did on your wedding day. And I understand that. But you also need to understand that the feeling that you're feeling right now, if you don't feel like you're in love with your spouse, it is going to go on as well. The principle is this though, you don't need to make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling. Well, I feel like this. So I think this needs to happen. See, cultural says that you fall in and out of love like it's some pothole, you know, I'm just stumbling here. I fall in. I'll just fall right back out of it. But you and I both know that it isn't true. You don't fall in love, you choose love. You choose love. First Corinthians 13 says love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud even or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up. Never loses faith and is always hopeful. And in the doors through every circumstance, you know, it's funny because most of what Paul says about love has nothing to do with it being a feeling. He's describing love and he doesn't talk about butterflies and he doesn't talk about unicorns and rainbows. He talks about decisions. He talks about it being a choice. See, you choose to be patient even when you're aggravated, has your spouse ever aggravated you? Yeah. Ladies put your hands down, right? Of course, but you choose to be patient. You choose to celebrate with the ones you love and not to compete with them. You know, that's a real struggle in households, especially when it comes to spirituality. Because for some reason, and I'm going to speak on this and I'm going to divert from my notes here for a minute because I think, well, y'all going to be all right. All right. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. You want to see me upset and I'll lead you through there with all the heart of love and grace that the Lord gives me. But whenever you say, I can't, I don't understand. We're fighting at home because I'm here in my faith and they are here. Why? Why is it faith a competition? Why are we trying to compete with each other in our same household? It's the who's more religious than the other one. There's nothing right about that, y'all. There's nothing right about that. Oh, I just don't see my husband in the same light because he's just not as far along as I am. You're not as far along as you think if that's the conversation we're having. I'm just being honest. Religion is not competition. It isn't the way it is. We aren't looking down on each other. We're cheering each other on. We're walking with each other saying you can go another step, but we're not bad mouthing and competing with each other and don't be jealous. Oh, well, I'll never be that far. Look how far my wife is or look how far my husband is. I'll never be that religious. Why is this a competition? You also, you choose to show grace when you love and you don't hold wrongs or lord it over them. Remember what you did last year on a Tuesday at three o'clock in the afternoon? We don't lord things over each other. Most importantly, love doesn't quit. You know how to have that conversation with Laurie very, very early on in our relationship. I said, "Girl, look, this can be a good thing or this can be a bad thing, but you need to understand. I have no quit in me." None. When I latch on, I latch on when this is what the Lord leads me to, this is what the Lord leads me to, and that's it. So I'm just letting you know that can be a good thing or a bad thing. But love doesn't quit. You don't feel your way into loving actions. You act your way towards loving feelings. You act your way to building it up. You may say, "Well, I don't feel like being loving. Fine. I don't care. Be loving anyway." I mean, that's what we're told, right? Look at Revelation chapter 2 verse 4, it says, "But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first." Something's gone. Something's changed, and you don't love me the same way. Turn back to me. And do the works you did at first. Who works you did at first? Do those things. Go on a date night, spend some time together. Find her flowers, cook him breakfast. It's okay to serve each other. It is okay to serve each other. It does not make you less. It's a great thing. Watch the car without being asked. Start doing the things you did when your love was strong. Then here's where it also goes. Some of the most loving things that you can ever do is to seek the counsel of somebody else to speak into your relationship. Go to a trusted friend. Go to a counselor. Go to a pastor. But you need to understand that sometimes you can't see your way out of it. Because let's face it, if you could see your way out of it, you would have already. Sometimes it takes another perspective speaking into your relationship to help you find your way out of it. Not to sit there for the rest of your life and tell you how to love your spouse, but to help you get out of that rut, to help you get out of that bad place so you can start running again. Speak wise, counsel. And I know that even as I'm speaking right now some of you think we just go have a take. Yeah, we're married, but we're just roommates. Understand something. It's not too late for your marriage. Understand something that there is no marriage that God can't restore when two people surrender to Him. There is nothing that can be torn apart what God is in the middle of. He can make it right. All right. The last unspoken question of the day, number three. This is the fun one. How do I raise godly kids in an ungodly world? Raise your hand if you think parenting is hard. Yeah. The rest of you that didn't raise your hands? Wait. Either waiter you don't have kids. There are two choices there. Because if you don't, I have them across the whole spectrum. You understand? And let me tell you, parenting is hard. And if you think it gets easier when they get older. you're wrong. You're wrong. Bigger kids mean bigger problems most of the time, and they bring problems with them sometimes. Yes, ma'am. But if you're a parent right now, understand something I'm with you. I'm in a fight with you. I struggle because we've battled phones, right? That was my generation, right? We battled phones and then we had to battle Tik Tok and Snapchat and all of this stuff. Well, let's just make it easy. As soon as we thought we had this whole social media thing under control and we kind of knew what was going on and parents kind of knew how to deal with it, all of a sudden now we're competing with AI. I mean, come on, parenting is difficult. It's trying. It's challenging and we've got a real enemy coming after our kids, trying to deceive them into something other than God's truth. And here's the bad part is that it will always kind of look like God's truth. It's not going to be a stark contrast. Most of the time, most of the time it's going to look, well, I can see that. Well, I can understand that. But it's not the truth. And if you're like most parents, like, I mean, I've tried this, it doesn't work. But if you're like most parents, you try to shelter them, right? I'm a shelter. I'm going to pull them in. I'm going to lock the doors. I'm going to keep them safe. And they're not going to see anything. They're not going to do anything. I'm going to shelter them away from the big, bad world. Yeah, good luck. It doesn't work. Jonathan hate in his book, The Anxious Generation says that we've overprotected kids in the real world and we've underprotected them online. Can't go do this. Can't go see that. Can't go here. Can't go there. Can't go there. But on my hands, you a cell phone with free access. It's like giving you a loaded pistol. Go run and go play. Go run and go play. But then we have a real conundrum. How do we disciple them without isolating them? That's the conundrum that we're in. That's the trouble. That's the argument. That's the struggle that we're in. But we have to look at Jesus. Look what Jesus did. Because Jesus didn't have natural kids, but he had spiritual ones. And John 17 tells us exactly how he prayed for his kids. So how about we look there? How about we look at what he said in John? Because what he said is I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They don't belong in this world anymore than I do. Make them holy by your truth. Teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. Now if you really notice in that scripture, you see that Jesus didn't pray. Remove them. Jesus didn't say, can you lock them away and make them, you know, live in a monastery away from everything in the world and isolate them that is not, that is not, that is not what Jesus said. Jesus said, keep them safe and make them holy. And then you know what he did? He sent them out. Our job as parents is simple. Protect them. Disciple them and send them. Protect them. How do we do that? Well, it's simple. First off, we watch who's shaping them. I've had people call me, well, my kid is doing this. My kid is doing that. My kid is doing this. Who is speaking into your kid? What voices are they listening to? And if your first quest or your first answer that that is, I really don't know, you better find out. You better find out who's speaking into your kid's life because Proverbs 13, 20 says, walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble. And I mean, look, we know that. You've heard it time and time again. Show me your five closest friends and I'll show you your future. I'll show you your future. All I need to know is who you're hanging around. And this is really important because who your child is with will shape who they become. And you can't control every friendship. I understand that. I do. But you can influence the environment where those friendships are created. You can make sure that your kid is in the right place at the right time. You can ensure that your kid is educated to know discernment and have this friend, don't have this friend. Something's not right here. And then you can make them strong enough to walk away from those types of relationships. You can do that. And look, I've been asked, I do, I honestly have. Pastor, how do you get your kids to serve? Well, you become a pastor. No. My kids don't serve because I'm a pastor. They don't. I mean, I've got doose who serves in the parking lot and's leading a life group. I've got I've got a Zaria who who is in, you know, kid. Well, they're over here now. Ha, air conditioners fixed. Right. Right. So, so she's over here in, you know, joyful noise. I've got Madden who serves in the truth seekers. And in production, I've got Kamehman who's sitting there honestly chomping at the bit going, when do I get to start serving? When do I get to start serving? He's serving today. There we go. See, I'll even know where my kids are. Talk about good parenting, right? But but but here's the deal, right? The deal is is that they serve because they saw us serve. They're involved because they saw us involved. I mean, I served in a parking lot and I served in what is now world changers. Back then it was quest, but I served there. I served in youth. I served before I was a pastor. And that's the environment that they came up in. They came up with this is how you are part of a community. You serve the church that you were a part of. So then it was just natural for them. I don't know how you do it any other way. They know how to love God through service. But then I'm going to be honest with you. What was even more important of that is we made sure that they were in the different things. They were in kids church. If it was open, that's where they were. Except when they got in trouble, then they had to sit with us in the sanctuary. Right? And when they were out of kids church, then they went to youth. And not just sporadically, they were in youth. They were part of the community. They were there. If the door was open, they were here. Not just hit and miss, but part of the community. You know, I had to have a conversation a couple of weeks ago. Well, what do you do when they don't want to go? You drop them off and you drive away. That's what you do. Right? You do. And I know that that's hard parenting, but you know what? I didn't ask them if they wanted to eat green beans either. Right? Sometimes you do what's important for your kid because you are the adult. You know better than they do. But that's not what we do a lot of times. Sometimes we have the tale that wags the dog. And we don't lead our kids. Our kids end up leading our whole house. You know, and then when they were out of youth, it was young adults. And then when it was young adults, it was, I might have that phase with juice right now. It's like, okay, I want you at the men's sufferers. Greg told me one time he said it was always funny because when we started serving and we started participating, he goes, I knew when he said he was going to be there, there was two that was going to show up every time. It was me and Zeus every time. Why? Because I wanted him to model what it was like to be a man of God, not by watching me, but by watching other men of God. So he was always there. And he's walking in that now. But that's the way you raise your kids. You control what environments they're building, their friendships in. And then when he has a problem, he doesn't have to question, hey, can I go talk to him, Mr. Greg? No, he knows Mr. Greg. He knows Mr. John. He knows these men and he can go and talk to them about things that he can't come talk to his dad about. But those relationships don't happen by accident. They happen with intentionality. Also, you need to watch what you're modeling. Because see, you're going to lose a point in your life and as your kids get older, you're going to change from where they stop listening to what you say and start more by watching what you do. What you do is going to speak much louder than what you say. See, your priorities become your children's theology. Charles Spurgeon said, "Train up your children and the way they should go and make sure, make sure you go that way yourself." Don't send them somewhere you haven't tread. If you say, "God comes first," but church is always optional and sports never are. You're teaching them a theology. If you're saying that your family is first, is your first ministry. But then you're in five life groups. You serve on three dream teams and you go on four mission strips a year. How can you say that they are your first ministry when you're never home? See neither of these are correct. Neither of these things are correct. You can go from one extreme to the next and it's still an extreme and it's still wrong. It doesn't matter what our kids know if they don't know what really matters. Look at what you model and look at it carefully. Number three, prepare them to be different. Let's face it, normal isn't working. Normal isn't working and what is normal in today's society would have never been thought about 20 years ago. Normal is degrading. So many teenagers today are anxious, lonely and unsure who they are. We don't need to be aiming for normal. We aim for holy because see that never changes which means to be set apart. So don't worry if they don't fit in. I mean Daniel was raised in Babylon the most pagan culture of his day and resolved not to defile himself. He wasn't isolated from culture. He was prepared for it. Your goal is not to protect them forever but to prepare them to choose holiness when you're not there because you're not always going to be there to choose it for them. So today we asked three questions. We really did. The three questions that we asked were, "Culture is trying." Culture is trying before you buy. God says commit before you cohabitate. Culture said follow your feelings. God says choose love. Culture says fit in but God says stand out. Where are you trying to fit in? God never asks us to do something he hasn't done already for us though. See before he asked you for your commitment, he committed to you and he sealed that covenant with his own blood. See before he asked you to choose love, he chose you while you were still a sinner. Just look at Romans 5-8. He didn't say get right and then come the church. He didn't say get right and then come to me. And before you were ever worried about your kids, Jesus was praying for you, John 17-20. See so now that you have the answer to these unspoken questions, you have a choice to make because that's what it's all about, isn't it? It's a choice that you make. When we say you choose love but you choose God, you've been given the greatest gift that ever existed and that is free will because see you can. I'm going to try to get this right because it was from yesterday's but there's four groups of people that sitting in here and I think it took a picture but I ain't got my phone on me but it doesn't matter, right? There's different groups of people that are here. There's those people that completely ignored the whole sermon and I get it. You did, you didn't listen, you didn't pay attention, you're leaving here the same way you walked in but that was a choice. There's those of you that listened but it went right by you, right? You didn't buy into it, it was nothing, right? Then there's those of you that picked parts of it up that said, "You know what? I liked that, I liked that, I'm going to apply that, I'm going to apply that." And you're going to get a little bit out of it but then there's that fourth group. There's that fourth group that's going to take what was said this morning, you're going to internalize it and see I'm going to know, I'm going to know because you want me to tell you how I'm going to know because you tell a tree by its fruit because things are going to start to change in your life because there's fruit that's going to be produced in your family because now you have knowledge about all these different things that you didn't have before and it isn't just heart knowledge, it's heart knowledge because the seed was planted there. Go back to the prayer that I prayed before we got started. Lord let the seed be planted in the heart where it can't be stolen from them. I didn't make that up, that scripture, that scripture, heath isn't that smart. All I can do is point you to the one who is. So how about you take some steps this week? How about you, if you're living together, how about you have an honest conversation about where this is going and then talk to me or your life group leader about hey, we need to take the next steps. Well, how about if your marriage is struggling, do one thing that you did when your marriage was strong, do that and if that doesn't work, call me, let's sit down and talk about it. And if you're a parent and this doesn't make sense to you, how about you make one change? How about you make a phone free table? Hey, you know what, we're going to sit down, we're going to eat and we're all going to visit every day and we're not going to have the phones to distract us. How about a Bible verse of bedtime, how about getting your kids plugged into O.S.C. kids or O.S.C. youth, I don't care what else they have going on, I honestly don't, I honestly don't because if I'm being honest with you, kids have too much going on nowadays. We didn't carry that weight when we were kids and for some reason we're trying to make up for everything we never had for our own kids and we're smothering them. Kids are stressing out because their seniors in high school, having to carry high school work, college work, a full time job and sports. I got grown people that can't carry that much weight and we're asking a 17 year old to do it. Y'all, we got to get better and we've got to get better. But maybe your question today isn't about your relationship or your kids, it's probably not even about your family, how about if you walked in today and your question that you really had was how do I get that? How do I get that? Because I want that, I want that peace, I want that love, I want those things, I want that pie in the sky that you talked about about, what is so great, how do I get that? Well, it starts with a single step. It starts with a single step towards the cross because at the end of the day that's where it was all paid for. Well I give God all of this but I don't want to give Him this because I'm burdening Him why He paid for it. I'm trying to figure this out why He already has. You're not smart enough. Sorry, sorry, He's God, we're not. Stop trying to figure it out for yourself and start surrendering. Starts with one step and I'm going to ask you right now I am and I'm looking across the room and I don't know if I'm going to get many but I promise you I'm going to get some re-dedications because I'm going to get some people that have just starting to figure it out that these things spoke to. So we're going to lower the lights and we're going to make it real nice up in here and we're going to do all the churchy stuff. Right? We all are going to make it really easy for you all and we're going to all buy our heads, y'all go ahead, y'all buy your heads, y'all buy your heads, see that's what we're going to do and how nice is that, right? It's real nice, it's real comfortable, we did it, we did it. Now it's your turn. Now it's your turn. Now you need to be bold. Now you need to be courageous and if what I spoke about this morning is alien to you or you know what you're saying I don't have enough of that I want some more of that I just simply want you to raise your hand right now. I just want you to raise your hand because it's not for me to see. It's not for me to see. It's for God because whoever proclaims Him and speaks His name in front of other men will be saved. Again, not the Word, not the Gospel of Heath, thank you, thank you, see I want to pray for you right now, I want to pray for you right now, you don't even have to repeat after me right now just just listen, they're having Father, Father, we've walked in with our own struggles, Lord, and we've walked in with these questions in our mind, Father, but something that was said today, Father, something that was said today, was what we needed to hear because that was the seed that got planted in our hearts because I saw it with the hands that were raised across the congregation that there were seeds that were planted. So Father, I just asked that you give them a dose of your Holy Spirit, Father, that is so great that they're forced to look upon the cross, that the wrongs of their life, the struggles of the life, the things that they have dealt with, Father, or no longer, there no more because they finally accepted you and the love that you had for them in their hearts, Father. So that as they leave here, Father, they don't leave here the same broken and spiritually dead thing that walked in, Father, but that they leave here a new child, fresh in their robe, Father, their slate wiped clean, and that the choices that they make, Father, well the choices that they make are better because they've accepted you into their life. To give them the boldness and give them the courage to make these changes in their life, give them the boldness and give them the courage to say enough is enough. I will lead my family well. I will love my spouse well and I will take my relationship and I will put it under the cover of the Lord, Father, I thank you for everyone that was here, I thank you for their hearts, Father, I thank you for what they mean, I thank you for them leaving as points of light, Father, carrying this message into the workplace, into the marketplace, Father, around that phone free dinner table tonight, help them to walk out the gospel truth, I ask all of these things in Jesus' name, amen.