The Power of Rebranding, Staying Consistent and Building Habits

Good evening, your time now is 5.52. I'm Jeanette Reyes. And I'm Ona Kosorabdi, and this is Off the Record. Not for real. This is Off the Record. I feel like a lot of people do a lot more talking than doing, and that's why they don't reach their goals. It wasn't like, "Do I want to work out today?" Or, "Do I want to read today?" It was like, "No, you get up and you work out." That's who you are. Rebranding and becoming the person you want to be is not like in the movies. It's small steps, like it's not sexy. What does it take to rebrand? If I couldn't pull up my calendar and see dedicated time, I couldn't tell what that goal or what that focus is from looking at my calendar, then it's not real. For me, rebrand, when I think of is 2am, I pull out my laptop, and I'm like, "I'm gonna re-enagine my entire life on Pinterest right now." I put my Pilates classes for 6.30 in the morning, because one of the things I hate doing is wasting money. So what's gonna get me out of bed is I can't waste these $32. What did you do in those moments where it just felt like you are scaling the largest mountain ever, and you don't see the light at the end of the time. It's one of those things that I call a daily deposit. It's something that helped me build the skill set of building myself a dynamical. Less? Welcome to the group chat. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Listen, we are so excited. We are huge fans of yours. I started listening to your podcast, "Bounce Black Girl," years ago. And I remember in each phase of my life, like I remember I was in LA for a little bit, and I would listen to you the way to my morning commute, or during my morning commute, and you have just always dropped gems. And we've been talking about that. You've been like the voice in our head literally, because it's like we're playing you in the car. For me, it was my commutes too and from Philly when I used to work there, and my husband was in DC. But all that to say, girl, you've been, you're one of the OGs. You've been in it for a minute. So welcome to the podcast. We're happy to have you. I mean, y'all are some of my internet besties in my head. So I'm so glad we're doing this in real life. Yeah. I can't believe this is the first time we're meeting, but again, I feel like I've known you. Yeah. We always comment on each other's stuff. So yes, internet besties for sure. Oh, we have to mention too. We've hit you up over the years asking you for guidance, questions, when we were thinking about starting our podcast, and you've always been, I love a girl, like you're a girl's girl, right? Like you were always available to answer any questions, and you never gate-kept. So I mean, of course, we got to have you on the podcast. So for people who aren't familiar with you, tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah. So thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I also love getting to be the guest, because it's a lot easier and more fun than you. [laughter] And in the host chair. Yeah. So my name is Les. I've been a content creator for over a decade now, starting primarily on wellness, but kind of moved into more lifestyle content. Most people in my community know me for my podcast, Balance Black Girl, which I've been doing for almost seven years now, which is a long time. Seattle Native, now in my kind of East Coast era here in New York, and just taking it on one day at a time. What prompted you to start the podcast in the first place? Because you started it before, it was like a thing thing, I feel like. Why take that on? While you had a full-time corporate job, all that. I did. Yeah, at the time, I was a social media manager at a startup, which was a wild job in and of it felt. But I was literally sitting at work one day, and I just got the idea. It just was like, start a podcast, name it Balance Black Girl, interview black women in wellness, and I was like, check, got it. I ordered a microphone off of Amazon and launched the podcast a week later. We would have mulled it over. Maybe three, four years of entertaining. We would have been like, you know what? Let's pray on this. And then order the microphone when it goes on sale. But yeah, no, I remember hearing that episode where you're talking about how fast you started this. And I was like, oh yeah, definitely not. But I love that. It shows just how committed you were. And you don't miss a week. That's what I love about you. Like you really are committed and you're consistent. Yeah. Which is the biggest thing with podcasting, because it's not like social media where there's an algorithm or something pushing your content out. You have to have content there for people to find constantly. Yeah. What would you say your listeners, like the topics that resonates the most with them? What would you say they are? Anything that is like life advice. The girls love life advice. Last year, my top episode was I did a birthday episode. I turned 35 last summer and I did 35 things I've learned by my 35th birthday. Anything where it's like lessons learned or, you know, gems dropped or how to navigate your 30s, moving into your 20s, whatever it is. People love just those things that make them feel seen where they feel like they're getting advice from someone they trust. One thing you do really well is you give really practical actionable, like I love when you say "Polatronovolks" and start writing this down. I'm like, "Okay, you know that." And I love that because it's not like stuff that's intangible up in the air. So I don't know if that's something that you're just naturally good at or if you're consciously like, "No, these are the bullet points I want to give people." I think it's when I was in the listener chair that's often what I would look for. I'm also somebody who I have a short attention span. People lose me quick. So if people get too long-winded, if I can't connect the dots, if I can't see how do I apply this to my life, they lose me quick. And so I'm always thinking about that from the listener's perspective is how can I keep them? How can I make sure that even after they finish this episode they have something that they can apply to their lives? And then also if they see good results from that, they're going to want to come back. And that's kind of where community comes from. One of the episodes where you kept us. And that would brought the pen out. It was the rebrand for 2025, both personally and professionally. Mona and I are going through what we call our sexy Martha Stewart era. Very much so. It is so good. It's like we're trying to do a lot of like, you know, the hosting stuff, a lot of the homemaker stuff, but still go out. Still be fly. Yeah, and still be fly. So the girlies can do bow. Yes. But we've been talking a lot about rebranding and you didn't episode on that. It's very fitting. It's the beginning of the year. So can you touch a little bit about that episode and also what is it take to rebrand? Yeah. I've been thinking so much about how much my life has changed over the past couple of years. And funny enough, I mean, I feel like I connected with you guys via TikTok. And something that it'll do is it'll pull your old videos up back to you. And so last year, late 2024, I was just seeing some of my old stuff that was serving up to me that I'd posted in like 2021, 2022. And I'm like, who even is that person? She just was living a totally different life. And so it just got me thinking about wanting to be more intentional in my own evolution. And I think having a marketing background, I'm always thinking about ways to make something sound more fun so that I want to do it. And I was like rebrand. That just sounds way better than, you know, growth. They're like evolution. It just sounded like something more fun that I had more agency in when it came to how I enter the next chapter of my life. So let's talk about what it takes. Because for me, rebrand, when I think of is 2am, I pull out my laptop. And I'm like, I'm going to re-imagine my entire life on Pinterest right now. But then I don't actually act on it. It's just almost like a ritual. And I just feel like, thank you. That felt like I accomplished something. And then I close the laptop, put it away. And the next year, same spot. So what does it take if you really do want to not only just talk about it, but put action behind your words? Yeah, I love that question. I would say, I'm a big calendar person. And so for me, anytime I'm thinking about goals that I have, intentions that I have, whatever my focus is, if I couldn't pull up my calendar and see dedicated time, couldn't tell what that goal or what that focus is from looking at my calendar, then it's not real. So I'm always thinking about, okay, what are the daily, weekly, monthly actions that I can take that help me become that version of myself that I want to be? And I think what's often hardest for people is you have to be willing to do things differently. And we can get in ruts or routines where we do things the same. And then wonder why we are the same. And so I think getting comfortable, trying new things and doing things differently. And for me, holding myself accountable to doing things differently has been a big part of it. Because holding yourself accountable, people would say, would agree that's very important, that's something that we should all do. How do you make sure that you do that? Because I think the most disappointing thing is when you fall short of your goals, that it's almost like you're betraying yourself. Like you start to trust yourself less when you set a goal that you're actually going to accomplish it. So how do you make sure that you hold yourself accountable and you stay true to your goals? It kind of relates to what we were talking about when we were before we started recordings. You've kind of talked about your fitness journey and how you're getting more into it. I really think that fitness is what taught me how to be the person who does that. Because it taught me how to have more discipline, how to create more structure for myself, how to do hard things and realize that I can and work towards it. So I got really interested in fitness in my early 20s. And I would say before that, I was somebody who gave up on things very easily. I never saw anything through. I was not very accountable. I was not very disciplined about anything. And when I got more into fitness, it taught me how to be more disciplined. It taught me how to hold myself accountable. And I thought, okay, if I can wake up early and if I can do this workout that was hard, then maybe in the middle of the day I can do this other thing that was hard. And so it's one of those things that I call a daily deposit. It's something that helped me build the skill set of holding myself accountable more. And once I got it set in the fitness area, I was able to apply it to other areas. You know, I'll add something and I'm gonna love to hear how you hold yourself accountable too. But one of the hacks I figured out with me is I've been trying to stick to waking up at 5, 5, 30 in the morning because I've realized like I might be a night owl, but the world just does not cater to night owls, right? So I put my Pilates classes for 6, 30 in the morning because one of the things I hate doing is wasting money. And it's worked. It's just been the hack. Whereas if it's just working out just to get the work out in, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'll be like, we can just do it tomorrow, right? So what would you say for you, like how have you found a way to hack it? Abuse. (laughing) I'm like, girl, if you don't get up, the whole world is up right now and you're gonna be left behind. So yes, but I don't recommend that because what ends up happening is you just, it's so negative, right? And then you just beat yourself up so much where you're like, look at that. You were supposed to work out four days a week and you only got in three. And I learn you're actually supposed to celebrate, like wow, I got three in. But that is a very effective motivator for sure I'm here at a time, I will say. But I guess it's easier said than done sometimes, right? Because when that alarm is ringing, and you are tired and it is cold outside, fitness is an easy one to point to because consistency gives you results, right? And so it's easy to say, this is the goal that I want, this is what I need to do, but actually doing it is really hard. So what do you suggest for people who just feel like, I may have a good two weeks and that third week, I just get derailed. - Yeah, I've had to kind of manipulate myself into it over the years and something that's really helped me is taking it on as an identity. So instead of being like, do I wanna get up and do this thing today? I tell myself I am a person who does this thing, whether that's working out or whether that's like reading, I've gotten really into reading over the past few years. And I talk a lot about that, even though it's something I didn't use to do, it wasn't like, do I wanna work out today or do I wanna read today? It was like, no, you get up and you work out. That's who you are. You are a reader. So pull out your Kindle and read, or you are a journalist. So I have to trick myself into saying, this is who I am and it almost takes the choice out of it a little bit. 'Cause if we're relying on motivation of like, when I want to do this, we're never gonna do it. - I think that's really powerful what you said on the flip side of that is taking ownership of negative things, right? Saying like, I am not into, I don't know, like I'm not a healthy eater, I'm not into whatever, you're holding on to something that you wanna change. And so when you're saying, I am this person, it makes it seem impossible to change that habit. I did wanna ask you for, when you're talking about the rebrand, do you mention speaking of words, three words that you should, I guess, pick that you wanna identify with for your rebrand? Can you explain? - Yeah, so I had a marketing background, I work in marketing for several years, and oftentimes when we're working on campaigns or brands or mood boards, we would think about mood words. If this brand were a person, how would we describe it? Either what are the core value words? How do we want this to feel when people see it? And so I thought about, okay, well, if I think of myself as my own little brand, what are the words that I want to describe me? And it may not be who I am yet, but these are the words that I'm shooting for. So I think the words that I used, I know Sheik was one of them, now I'm blanking on the other one. - Authentic, 'cause I still have a few of you. - Oh yeah, that was another one. So I'm thinking about, okay, these are the words that I want to be described as, and they may not be true today, but I want them to be true. So they're kind of my north star of, how do I want people to describe me, and then how do my actions bridge that gap, so that people can describe me as those things? - Ooh, I love that. - So I did write them down. - My three are being intentional, authentic. I stole that from you, and consistent. - Ooh, yeah. - That's a good one. - So with those three, what's the next step? What do I do with that? - Yeah, I would say you should create opportunities for you to be those things. So define what consistent means to you, and maybe pick like one habit that you can be consistent with. Let's say you want to get more into reading, and you want to be consistent with that. You could say, I want to read for 10 minutes, three times a week, and have that be, that one proof of concept that you are a consistent person, and then after maybe two weeks of doing that, you could be like, yeah, I'm consistent. Now, I can accurately describe myself as that, and then move on to the next thing, and kind of almost like setting a layup for yourself, like giving yourself an opportunity to meet those words that you want to describe yourself as. - And you said something that was very interesting, which is, it's almost like you embody the lifestyle of that person. So you ask yourself, what does a consistent person do? How does a consistent person dress? I guess consistent for that, more authentic, is a better word to use as an example, because then it's like, okay, if I'm my authentic self, how do I dress? If I'm my authentic self, what kind of music am I listening to? And it's more of a lifestyle change than just individual changes. Can you elaborate on that? - Yeah, I think it's more so about how you embody those words, especially for words like authentic. Something that I think would get in the way of my own authenticity, it was kind of a little bit of people pleasing, and being like, okay, am I doing this thing? Are I saying yes to this because I genuinely authentically want to or because I want to make someone else happy? And so in those moments where maybe I feel that pull to do the people pleasing thing, I'm thinking, okay, but what is the authentic version of this? If I'm taking how they feel out of it, what is it that I really want to do? And so for those ones that are a little bit more, like squishy, I kind of take that approach with it. - I wonder, because you mentioned in your episode that you want these things to kind of come from within and not influenced by outside factors or people. I wonder though, like for example, with decisive, is one of the words for me, like I want to be the kind of person that makes a decision and sticks to it, and doesn't mull over it for a long time. I'm the kind of person where I like to picture someone who is decisive and then pull a different version of that that's authentic to me. Do you recommend that and if not, what would you say? - Yeah, I think you can totally do that 'cause it's more inspiration. It's proof of concept. But I think with that, we want to make sure that you're taking that quality of decisiveness and that inspiration, but you're not making decisions as if you were that person. You're still making decisions as you, but you're taking a cue on that's power of decisiveness from them. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the visual element? Do you encourage storyboarding or making vision boards, for example, which I love? - Yeah, I mean, I'm a big Pinterest girlie. I'm also really private about my Pinterest. I have like a Finsda Pinterest. It's like not under my name or anything. It's some kind of shawry. - That's not true. - That's not true. And so people are like, oh, I want to follow you on Pinterest. I'm like, this is just me. - Oh, with my-- - What's the decision behind them is? I just want some stuff that's for me. And I mean, I think you guys probably also know this. Like when you live so much online, it feels like so much is for other people that sometimes you just kind of want stuff for yourself. - To that point though, are you the kind of person? Like there are some people who are like, don't share your goals openly, publicly because that can work against you. They're going to be people who don't have your best interest in mind and can thwart it. Do you subscribe to that belief? - I would say yes and no. I mean, I think I'm somebody who I would rather do it than talk about it. So I don't really like-- I feel like a lot of people do a lot more talking than doing, and that's why they don't reach their goals. And I feel like instead of posting about it, I would rather just do the thing to actually help me get closer to it. But I also think that when things are authentically for us and we're putting in the work, I don't think other people's, like, evil eye or whatever is strong enough to stop things that are truly for us. That evil eye though. That'd be seren-- - Life out of me. I'm like, so blessed, kind of. - Yeah, totally. - Yeah, I think that's great. - Thank God. - Like discernment of who to share with what? I will have maybe people close to me or other peers who do similar work where I will happily share like, hey, this brand gave me this right. Or here's this project that I'm working on and share it in trusted spaces. But I don't feel the need to like post it online for everybody to see it. - I don't know. I just want to ask quickly, what advice would you give to somebody? Because there's always those naysayers in your corner, right? So you can say that you want to be a fitness girly, for example, and there's someone who's like, girl, I've never seen you run a mile or I've never seen you put on even running shoes. So what do you say to someone who has to deal with that? - Yeah. I often think that people who are doing the things that you want to do or who are more successful than you are never going to say that. And it's always people who are also not doing those things or who are probably not more successful than you, who make those types of comments. Because, and unfortunately, it's often that people really close to us because if they see you changing, if they see you doing certain things, sometimes that holds up a mirror to what they're not doing. And they feel more comfortable with you saying the same. And that's where those comments come from. And so I think it's just important to remember that like anybody who has the thing that you want would probably not say that to you because they're too busy doing the thing. - And to that point, surround yourself with it. It's so great to have friends who have similar goals, like you align in that area because it's like friendly competition, right? But it's also the accountability factor that you mentioned. One of the words that you mentioned for yourself, I believe, was abundance. - Yes. - And I love the way you explained what that means for you. - Yeah. I have struggled a lot with scarcity in my life with a lot of things, whether that's just with money, whether that's with opportunities with so many things. And over the years, I've had so many beautiful experiences where I'm realizing that there are so many things possible for me that I never knew would be. And so it's just opened up this whole idea of how good can it get and letting things get as good as possible and not thinking that the other shoe was gonna drop, not putting a limitation on the things that I want and just letting myself be open to all that I can receive. - Yeah. - I struggle with that a lot because I'm always like, this is good. - A little too good. - Right. - What's next? - Yeah, what's next. And the abundance mentality what I like about it is you're just like maybe great things are coming. Or it's also preventing a limiting mindset as well. You also mentioned, Oh, that's gonna erase me. Oh yeah, making small changes. Because again, I'm right, I told you at 2 a.m., I'm inspired, I got this vision board, and I'm gonna do 6 a.m. Pilates, and then I'm gonna cook every meal, and then I'm gonna also be a fashion guru, all these things at once, but you suggest making small incremental changes. - Yeah, like focusing on one thing at a time, whether that's like one habit at a time, one thing that you're embodying at a time, for a couple of reasons. One, it's just more manageable, and more realistic, and easier to stick to. And then two, when you do that one thing, and you stick with it for a little while, that's like proof of concept. It's giving yourself a success story of like, oh yeah, I created that habit, so now I can create another one, versus if you try to do it all at once, and then you don't do any of it, then it's easy to beat yourself up, and not really make any motion. - I like to say it's almost like rebranding and becoming the person you wanna be is not like in the movies, right? Like you feel like it's supposed to be dramatic, and like, you know what I mean, nights of day, the hair, it's almost like-- - To make over montage. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) It's small steps, like it's not sexy, and I mentioned it earlier, like with my fitness journey, like I would have gone the route of like, I'm gonna completely, one time I was vegan for like a day. (laughing) - Literally a day. - It was just like, I'm a vegan now, and I went shopping, and then like, by that eating-- - The next morning, you have been making it. - No, that was eating. - It was just like, I'm looking at all this food, like, I'm not gonna eat there. (laughing) - And then I unsaved all of my YouTube videos on being a vegan. But it's like small stuff, and it's not exciting, except for when you look at, look back, and you look at all the small things that you take off the list, and it turns out to make a big difference. - Was there ever a moment where you maybe didn't feel like you are a consistent person, or you didn't feel like the person that you wanted to be, but you looked back and realized, no, I actually, you know, in this part of my life, there is evidence that I'm consistent, whether it's like, well, I go to work every day, and you know, work towards my career goals, maybe that translates into fitness, or fitness, and vice versa. - Yeah, it was exactly what you just said. I felt very stifled in my career for a long time, and I would say career is still an area that I struggle with a little bit, a feeling like I'm not where I want to be, and feeling just a lot of pressure, to show up a certain way, and I do think when it comes to either my wellness habits, it's something that I always look back on as proof of what I've done. I've also hit just like some lofty financial goals, where I had a lot of student loan debt, and I was really strict with myself for a long time, and paid those off, and things like that, that I remember helps me remember who I am, and what I'm capable of, and I try to put some of that energy towards other areas, but I still struggle with it, just like everyone. - You are very open about your student loan debt, and what it took to repay that, and to be done with it. What did you do in those moments, where it just felt like you are scaling the largest mountain ever, and you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel? - Yeah, the moment where I really kicked me into gear, was I had one of my loans got sold to another lender, and they were sending me a letter about it, telling me how to set up my account. For this particular loan, I'm pretty sure I just put it on auto pay after I graduated, I'd been paying for years, and not really thinking about it, and so when it got sold to that other lender, I had to actually log into the account, the account, see where my payments were being applied, look at the interest rate, look at the balance, which I hadn't done before, which for anybody who wants to pay off debt, that's step number one. And I was honestly just filled with rage, because I'd been paying it for years, and still, oh, just as much as I initially took out, and so for me, it was maybe some of that fire sign energy of like, they not gonna get me, I'm paying this down in a year, like, I'm done. I'm done being taken advantage of, for me, like, anger is a good motivator. Again, fire sign things. And I just got angry, I got pissed. I was like, no, they're taking advantage of me, and I'm tired of being taken advantage of, so I think about that meme of like, "Rionna throwing the money, just like here." That was me, I was like, here, I'm gonna be done with it, and I'm paying this down now, and nobody's gonna hold anything over my head. Again, it was just like pure anger, and how did it feel when you did it? Really emotional, and actually not as good as I would have thought, which was a really weird, I think because college was a really difficult time in my life, I did not have a very positive college experience, and for a lot of that, I had really pushed and shoved that down, and never dealt with it. And then when I paid it off, all of these feelings came back at that time in my life, and what I took the loans out for, and how I felt then, that it really actually brought up a lot of like, not good stuff. It took me a while to really celebrate it, and even when I started talking about it online, I didn't talk about it till like six months after the fact. I didn't, the first several months, I didn't even tell anybody that I'd paid them off. I just had so many feelings that I was sorting through in that moment. That makes sense. So with the rebrand, once you've picked your three words, you're embodying the person that you'd like to be what comes after that. It's making a plan. It's putting it all together. I had given my little example earlier about like, your goals need to be reflected in your calendar, but it's really breaking it down, like, okay, so for these words, for these qualities that you want to embody, what are the specific things that you were doing to be that person, and then how are you mapping it out? How are you adding that into your daily life? How are you making it really plain? Also defining like, what does success look like? Like, we gave the example of consistency for one of your words. Like, what does consistent look like? How do you know when you're hitting the mark and putting those steps into place so that you can actually take action? How important is the why part of it? Because I could see, for example, you know, Jeanette doing Pilates at 6 a.m., and then I'm like, well, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do Pilates at 6 a.m., and I'm gonna be consistent at it. But I don't have the why behind it, right? And so how important is it to realize that you're doing things for you because you want to be that person, not because you see, you're scrolling through social media and you see you have to wake up at 5 a.m. Yeah, the why is everything. The why is absolutely everything because the why has to resonate with you and you have to care enough about it. I talk a lot about fitness, but what actually got me into fitness was I had my first corporate internship in college, and my body just did not agree with like, the corporate structure of sitting at a desk from nine to five. I was just exhausted. I was getting really inflamed. I had a lot of like, brain fog and I was only 20. I was like, I'm well young to be feeling like this. And so I started working out 'cause I was just in search of energy. I was like, I need to get up and move and like not be falling asleep at my desk every day. And I felt like if I'm actually going to the survive in this environment, I need to pick up this habit so that I can actually get through it. That why for me was so much stronger than maybe wanting to look a certain way or wanting to be skinny or whatever. That why I didn't resonate enough with me. Having the energy to stay awake all day is what resonated with me. So finding that thing that you genuinely care about that's gonna make you stick with it is important. - She mentioned social. Do you think it's a good idea to maybe like, get off social for a bit if you're trying to chase after this, you know, these goals or anything else that you should cut back on to make sure you stay focused? - Yeah, I mean, I think it's, it's important to be mindful of what you consume because I do think sometimes we tend to try to embody other people's habits. And I tell people all the time, like don't try to do what I do. If you see me wake up at 5 a.m. and read and meditate and go work out, I've been doing that for literally 15 years and I didn't start day one like that. So I think social media can be good if you use it for inspiration of people who are maybe a little bit closer to where you are. Or if you're using it for accountability with a friend, that can be really helpful. But if you are on day zero and then you look at like what I'm doing, that may not be the most helpful thing. - Yeah, and that does happen. - Why do you think rebranding resonates with so many people? Why are people so interested in flipping their life upside down? - I think because right now it feels like there's so much out of our control that it feels like something that is within our control. Collectively, we're obviously just all dealing with a lot right now. And I think it's something that sounds kind of cutesy, right? Like a rebrand that sounds sexy. It sounds like the girls want to do it. And it's just almost like a little bit of reprieve from everything else we're dealing with. And it's like, okay, we can't control the wildness that's happening around us, but I may be control putting on a cute outfit and trying a little harder. And if that makes me feel a little bit better, then we're all taking whatever we can to do better. - It's so true about it being something you can control given the turmoil that we see and we're exposed to so much. Real quick about, I'm cutting things off or maybe cutting back on things that can be a distraction from your goals. - When I was in Little Rock. I had to get off social. I was in Little Rock as a reporter, right? And so like your 20s, especially for us in the news business, it's paying your dues. I mean, you're grinding, you're not making a lot of money, you're working all the holidays. And then there's just, you know, the how difficult it can be to cover some of the stories that we covered. And I ultimately had to unfollow some people and then just uninstall the app for a bit. Because I don't think we were built to take in so many people's highlight reels, right? Like I think our brains don't know how to actively tell themselves or itself, this is just the good stuff, right? You're not seeing the stuff that was left on the cutting floor, the things that aren't posted on social media. And it can make it seem like what you're going through at the moment or your wins even, like it minimizes them, right? And it just distracts you. So that was something that I had to do for myself. Now once you've done that with the rebrand, what would you say is the next step? I mean, this is probably something that I know I'm not very good at. And we could all probably do better. And we kind of talked about this before we started rolling. It's like celebrating those wins. I sunk at it. I still need to be way better about it. But I think it's also really important if we start embodying qualities that we set out for ourselves, like acknowledging that and celebrating it. How do you celebrate? I don't. and that's the problem. But how can you admit that, too, because I would think, I need to be more like less, but hearing the fact that you also struggle with it makes me feel like, okay, you're not alone in this. And it is something that is important, but you could still acknowledge and work on it. But what's so in theory since none of us celebrate? (laughing) What would it look like? - Yeah, I mean, whether that's like treating yourself to something or even just like being willing to pop your shit a little bit, which I think we all, especially as women, like we downplay everything, we don't want to be too boastful. But I think sometimes it's okay to like be proud of ourselves out loud, which again, I still suck at, but I would love to see more people do. What do you think is the underlying, and I'm gonna ask all of us, what do you think is the underlying reason that prevents us from celebrating ourselves? - I think for me, it's a couple of things. I think one, I don't wanna make other people feel bad. If I am doing something or have something that they don't have, I don't want other people to compare themselves to me, which I think being online so much is something I'm very cognizant of. I also don't want other people to question how I got things, or I don't know, I think sometimes when women have different successes in our lives, people often attribute it to other things, where it's like, oh, she must have slept her way to the top, or someone bought that for her. It's like, we often don't take women's accomplishments at face value, and again, I'm fiery, 'cause I'll be ready to fight. If I were really hard for something, and somebody said, I know myself, and so I keep it to not less about the throw-in. (laughing) I be ready, especially if you sacrifice a lot, I know myself, and so, so I think it's a combination of those things of wanting to hold things precious, and also just not wanting other people to feel bad. She said, you don't know my life. You don't know what I've been through. They do not. Whatever you do now. I would say, I don't do a good job just because I don't have the time and the discipline to show the process, so then because of that, I don't think it's fair to show the result, right? Like, I wanna show the full context in what it took to get there, and because I know I can fall victim to the whole, like, dang, she just popped up and got all this, I don't want, similar to you, I don't want people to not know the journey, and think that this was something that I easily got, or maybe didn't earn, or whatever the case may be. I also don't, I don't know that I, I don't depend on the praises of, I don't really cared to have the praises of strangers, you know what I mean? It's the people who really matter to me. So if it's not to inspire, which, like I said, if they don't have the full context, I don't know that it's gonna be so inspirational, then I'd rather just share it with the people who know me, who've seen the behind the scenes, and can really celebrate me. - For sure. - What would you say it is for you? - For me, it doesn't feel as good when I get it, 'cause then it just isn't like, in the moment, when I'm looking at someone else's hazard, or if I see where, you know, the goal that I set, it feels like there's a grand thing that I'm working towards, but when I get it, it feels like, anyone could, like, I didn't do anything special to get it, it feels like anyone could get it. So then I feel almost embarrassed about celebrating it, because, like, you didn't do anything exceptional. And actually, I'm on to the next thing. Actually now work harder, so that you can set a higher goal, so that feels more, like you've accomplished it. But then I realize, again, you're just moving the goalpost, and it's never gonna feel as good. So I thought that was interesting when you said, "Paying off the debt didn't feel as good, "and I know you had your different reasons, "but it is something to talk about sometimes," where you're like, "Wow, I thought it was gonna be this moment," where I'm like, "at the top of the stairs, "throw my hands like, yeah, like, I did it, only me." But then you say here and you're just like, "Okay, I don't know what these feelings are, "so I'm happy that you actually explored "that you knew where it came from." I do wanna ask, I want all of us to answer this. What would you say is you mentioned pop your shit? Like, what's the biggest accomplishment that you've had in just recent times? That's a good question. I mean, I think being able to go full time and support myself from a creative endeavor, without having outside financial support, I don't come from a family with money or it's truly all been just work and being able to get as far as I have, even though it's not as far as I want to go, thus far, given my background and how I was raised and all of these things, it's like, wasn't an easy thing. I love that. What about you? What's your biggest accomplishment? I think the house that we bought. Yeah. Yeah, it's huge. And I realize, it's a beautiful house, we're building a home and a life together and being in it and looking at just kind of, even all the changes that we've made to personalize it, it feels like a really big accomplishment. Yeah, that's a big one. How about you? Similar to you doing this full time, it's been a little over a year. I would say that's the biggest thing. And then just being in this space where your own boss is totally as a control freak who likes. It's totally out of my element, but then you realize, wait a minute, this actually speaks to a part of me that maybe isn't so foreign. So yeah, so next in the rebrand. Next in the rebrand. What do you do? What's the next process? The next step. Oh, that's a good question. I'm trying to remember. You mentioned embodying. Yes. But was the last thing after you celebrate yourself? So do you celebrate yourself? I do actually creating the plan. And seeing it through, celebrating. I do wonder as a goal-oriented person, where it comes from for you. I do think part of it is how I'm wired. My parents are super supportive and have been really moreally supportive of everything that I've done, but they didn't necessarily put a lot of pressure on me. From a very young age, I would put pressure on myself to do well in school and to do all these things. And I don't really remember my parents ever, putting that on me. It was just something that I always did on my own, also just like with the autonomy, and which I think we definitely need a self-employed people to hold yourself accountable to do things if you don't have someone over your shoulder telling you to do it. I had it kind of a young age. And so I think it might just be a personality thing. Are you the oldest, right? Yeah. That's interesting that you didn't have that pressure from your parent. I mean, it's awesome that you didn't have that pressure. But then you just kind of put it on yourself. I planted this seed. Yeah. And she said, "You know, I got it from here." That's what I got to do. Yeah. And part of the goal building and goal setting is habit building. Yes. So let's talk about that. Because that's the action, right? After you take the action for so many times, it becomes an habit. Yeah. It's about making things easy on yourself. I love how y'all were talking about the sexy Martha Stewart era, because I love Martha Stewart. Yes. Did you watch her? I definitely did. I think. The documentary. And in the part of the documentary where she said she hated waste and inefficiency, I was like, I felt that. Because if anything is like repetitive or harder than I think it should be, in my brain, I'm always like, how can I streamline this? How can I make it easier? How can I reverse engineer this? And I did that with a lot of my habits, where I'm like, OK, if I need to work out at five in the morning, what can I do to streamline that process? How can I make it as easy as possible, whether that's like setting my workout clothes, having my gym bag packed? How can I reduce friction in everything that I'm doing? It's just kind of how my brain works. And I think sometimes when we are establishing habits, people don't necessarily do that. And so it's already hard enough to establish a new habit. But then when you're not reducing the friction to make it easier on yourself to actually do the thing, that's what makes it really hard. So when people are establishing habits, I think it's important to look at those sticking points. What is preventing you from having that habit? And how can you address that so that it becomes routine? Do you do a habit stacking at all, where you attach it to something that, like, let's say brushing your teeth and you attach it to the new habit? I think I used to do more of those things before it was as automatic. And now I think a lot of them are so automatic to me that I don't think about it as much, but habit stacking can be super helpful for people who are just getting started. I think even just identifying the fact that we have rituals and habits every day. And I didn't see brushing your teeth as a habit. But then when you do, you're like, oh, it comes so easy. So something that maybe in the beginning, obviously when you're like a child, it takes a little bit of effort. And then it just becomes like second nature. You grab the toothbrush. You're brushing your teeth. And knowing that-- That's just when it's on autopilot. And you look back and you're like, oh, wow, it did all of these things. Exactly. You know, second nature. I don't ever see fitness doing that. Do you never need that promise again? I'm already like, I was not that person either. And it just, it becomes like brushing your teeth, putting your contacts in. Like in my mind, it's all the same thing. Oh my gosh. It's so funny because it does make me feel better when you say, I was not that person because with exercise, I feel like there's them. Yes. Right. So when you say, that wasn't your thing, did you grow up around it by the way? Not really. I mean, I played some sports, but I was never that good at it. It was something to keep me. I was always very average, very OK. And I remember starting to go to the gym in my early 20s and seeing other girls at the gym who were athletic and who were fit and who were strong. And being like, oh, I want to be like them. And again, for how my brain works to reverse engineer, I'm like, OK, if I see her over there lifting these weights, how can I learn how to do that? And then I would go to the very beginning of like, OK, weight training 101. And how can I break this down for myself? Like you would tell a kid so that I can kind of build up to that point, but I definitely was not that person. See? You can do one. You can absolutely get there. I think it's part of the narrative that we were talking about. I tell myself, and we were talking about this at dinner last night, where for the longest time, I'm like, I'm not an athletic person. The gym does not see me. I don't see it. But I started playing sports with my husband. We played pickleball or something. He's an athlete. He's played three sports all his life throughout college. To me, I'm like, okay, that's an athlete. For him to say, no, your hand-eye coordination is good. Actually, you're keeping up. You're great. I felt so good, because he was like, no, you're actually athletic. You're very athletic. And I was like, okay, maybe I could do this. You're right. I did hit them all back. Exactly. But it helped me change the narrative that I was telling myself that I'm not an athletic person. And I think about that every time I go to cycling now, I'm like, I could do this. Actually, I have coordination. We have an ongoing joke that Mona is quite the philanthropist. Oh, God no. And why do we say that, Mona? Because you generate donate every month. I don't miss a month to equinont. Yeah. Equinox is like, they have a plaque and they say we want to thank our Mona. Our member. Tatronized, yes. It's so funny. It's very impressive. Our donors. Dang, she aired me up. But now I'm going to Pilates at 6 a.m. No, so the first time, she's like, oh, I have this habit now. I wake up at 5 a.m. And I was like, OK, I'll do it with you. Or you suggested you like, you should do it. I was like, OK, I'll do it with you. I don't think she expected that I was going to actually do it. I would shot. Shot. But then I wake up and I'm like, OK, now what? Yeah. And that's about the why. I didn't have a why, so I'm over here. Like, now I'm grumpy. And I'm about 5. And I got nothing to do. I don't even work to 11 a.m. What am I supposed to do? But yeah, I will say that was a great habit. Because then I realized there's so many things that you can implement. Yeah. And you mentioned, speaking of the morning routine and things that you should do, doing things already and making decisions the night before, so you don't have decision fatigue by the end of the day, the following day. Absolutely. I'm still working on it. I will spend 30 minutes trying to pick an outfit to work from home. Like, it's just like a decision. The mail is this. They're going to see you on Zoom from the chest. Like, what are we doing? But hacking things and finding-- I know it sounds a little extreme, but the research behind very seemingly meaningless things. Like you said, that make your life just more efficient. That type of thing. Yeah, exactly. What would you say other hacks? And the research-based things that you probably do to back some of this? I mean, I just try to set up and optimize as much as I can. Even in my business and how I manage my podcast, everything is very processed and very automated and very templatized. And we have a very specific process that we follow for everything from booking guests to writing the show notes, to scripting the show. It is like a rinse and repeat process so that me and the people who work with me were not spending our mental energy starting from scratch, were able to jump right into the creative thing. And it just makes it all so much easier. And it was because as I was getting started, I found those friction points where I was getting stuck. And I was like, OK, how can I eliminate this? How can I make this as easy as possible? And honestly, low key. It's from laziness. Like I actually am I core am a lazy person? So me optimizing things is because I'm like, oh, this is redundant. I don't want to do this. So I'm going to make it easier on myself, which that alone I'm going to steal from you. Because for me, I feel like if it's difficult, you're doing something. So if it feels difficult, I'm like, ah, that's good. That's a good thing. So I will rework that. We've only scratched the surface with all the things that you touch on on rebranding. I love your episode on thinking like an athlete, or you know, approaching life as an athlete does. So if you can plug where we can find all these episodes. And also the rebrand rear podcast, if you want to touch on that a little bit. Yes. If you're OK with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So my podcast I've been hosting for the past almost seven years is called Balance Black Girl. And it's going to be in the spring of 2025 evolving under a new name that is just like a little bit more grown up version. So you can subscribe to Balance Black Girl wherever you see it now. Like YouTube, Spotify, all the places. Subscribe now so that when it switches over, you don't miss anything. But I have new episodes every Tuesday and a whole archive of 300 episodes that people can listen to. Oh my goodness. Yeah, no, she's a great listen to you guys. If you want to be better, it's like self-help, but in a healthier way. It's practical, it's relatable. And we appreciate you for not getting to keep going. Thank you. Thank you for joining us and for joining the group chat. And you can of course subscribe to off the record on our YouTube, add off the record, Instagram, add off the record podcasts. And we will see you here next week for our next episode.