The Players Most Likely to Burn Us This Year

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Click or tap the banner to order or visit a Panda Express near you. Verizon customers can win VIP flyaway experiences with their favorite NFL team. Enter on the My Verizon app for your chance to win one of these once-in-a-lifetime trips. Keep checking the app for season-long perks like ticket offers, exclusive merch, and more from Verizon Shine. No purchase necessary for the NFL flyaway sweepstakes. See Verizon Shine for details. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football live show. My name is Danny Heifetz and I'm joined by Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck, and a few hundred of our closest friends. Yeah. Thank you to everyone for coming out tonight. You know, Steven Spielberg premiering Jaws, Paul McCartney, Rolling Stones. Radiohead. The list goes on and on. So this is, we're kind of the necessary follow-up to those people, I would say. That was just the beginning. Honestly, bottom of our heart, thank you to everyone for coming. Like, this never gets old. This is the coolest thing. Like, seeing all of you guys tonight in real life, it's just as weird, probably weirder for us. Like, it's, thank you for coming. We also want to thank Verizon. Thanks to Verizon for sponsoring tonight's event. Yeah, we're the Verizon people. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Verizon's got an incredible NFL sweepstakes coming up next week, so you can check out the card on your seat for more details. And the other people we have to thank before we begin tonight is all seven of the women who listened to the show. Seven. Wow. Thank you for your service. Bask in the light of the seven. Light of the seven. There was a, someone has a shirt. Where's the seven shirt? Right there. Oh, my God. Crowd member of the seven. Unbelievable. Wow. Wow. That's rare. One of seven women is here tonight. That's a big deal. What are the odds? So, uh, the, uh, I think I forgot something. What? I forgot the thing. What thing? I don't, I, can you vamp for like a second? It's fine. It's fine. It happens. When will you be back? I don't know. I don't know. Figure it out. This is like when, when George and Elaine are alone without Jerry and they're like, wow, we've actually never hung out. What do you want to talk about? Every time DK and I are alone, all we do is just quote happy Gilmore. It's their special thing. We can do it for a while. We took, we took an Uber today and that's all we did. That lady must've hated us. Happy Gilmore to us is like heat to Chris and Bill. We'll just pick a different line once a month and be like, fuck, that's the best line in the movie. Today was, uh, get out of the way. Get out of the way, Mr. Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. Oh, I don't know what happened to high fits, but, um, I will, we, we got some, I know you're drinking beer, but we got some fun drinks tonight. Who's drinking the, uh, the Cloyce box on the rocks. Anybody raise it up. Okay. Who's got gentlemen's piss. Yeah. Drinking the piss. We love that. This is my piss right here. Okay. Yeah. You got a glass of, and then who's drinking the, um, uh, the sex on the beach ham. Couple sex on the beach hams. All right. Did somebody say sex on the beach ham? Okay. Oh, hell. He literally has a beach ham. What a beaut. This is an actual beach ham. I really hope people get this joke. We talked about this for one episode. We bought the ham before we considered whether people might not have known the inside joke. That's a real beach ham. This is a beach ham. This is a honey baked ham. I don't recognize it without the sand. Well, look, I, I, we take a ham to the beach and you thought it was ridiculous. Yeah. Okay. People in LA. We're going to, ain't nobody here bringing a ham to the beach. Look, it's delicious and you're going to have it right now. Here, look. You're going to slice this beach ham? Yeah, I don't. It's already sliced. That's half the point. I'm so nervous about this. Put that down. Yeah. The mic or the fork? The phone mic. Yeah. Honestly, if I give it to DK, it's going to end up in my chest by the end of the episode. I can smell it. It does kind of feel like South Carolina today here in LA. It's thick outside. It's humid. Yeah. I can smell that. That smells, we're all going to reek of ham. It's the right humidity for a ham. That's a hefty piece. DK. Try that. DK. I wasn't aware to eat that one. How many people even get this reference? I'm concerned. All right. Yeah. Okay. Thank God. How many people here have done a beach ham? Yeah. Of course. Just cricket. Raise your hand if you don't think it's weird as hell. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. A couple people. I'm loud. You can hear me. It's honey baked, right? Okay. There's a honey crust around it. That doesn't make sense. Oh. By the way, we're doing analog tonight. I'm just taking some photos. Oh, there's a lot of fat on this one. All right. There we go. Look at this. Yeah. You got to get in there. Do I really have to eat some? Yes, you have to eat some. We discussed this. It's quite oily. Yeah. It's fine. Man. It's good. It's good. I dropped some on my computer. Oh, God. It's pretty good. Come on. This is a big one. You got to get some of the honey crust. If it's in a Hawaiian shirt, it's like the perfect vibe for me. Yum. Cold. Cold, salty, and warm. Salty and wet. Just like I like it. You know what? Fuck you guys. And you changed shirts. Well, yeah. I mean, it's a beach vibe. You embraced the ham. All right. Okay. That's why I'm a pro host. I eat with ham in my mouth. You can come get some, although they'll be sitting up here for a while. I'm going to be chewing for the next two minutes, so why don't you? Now I have to vamp? DK, you want to quote Happy Gilmore? We didn't. No, no, we didn't. No, it's all right. You know what? You were right. We shouldn't have done that. Can we start over? No. No. We'll edit that out. Sure. We are going to do a section later that we're going to edit out of the show. Like, part of it gets posted. Because we're legally required. Yeah. There's a copyright issue that we can't put on Spotify or Netflix or any platform, but we're going to do it here. So, we are time for football. That's the first and last time we'll eat ham before a show. Which I should say, I'm still chewing the fat from this ham. It's delicious. It'll be there all day. How smart were we? We booked. We booked this show in L.A. The night of the Rams-Chargers preseason game, which is happening right now. Kind of dumb. Did you see, like, 10 minutes ago, Herbert uncorked a 65-yard touchdown to Clint Johnson? I saw that. Did you see that? QJ. QJ. Big QJ. He's not a secret anymore, unfortunately. All right. I think. Go Frogs. Actually, Kai's here, guys. Kai, give me a Go Frogs. Yeah. Thanks, Kai. QJ. All right. Should we time? Is it time for the 2026 future? Burn Book All-Stars? Explain that. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. In case it's not super clear. So what we do. I didn't think through this. Ham's going to be here the whole time. That's crazy. Can you smell it? Yeah. It smells great. It smells like the worst cologne of all time. It's Beach Ham by Tom Ford. So every week, we do the Burn Book. And honestly, it's inspired by Mean Girls. And it's a book of people you hate. But it's because in fantasy football, you play. And every week, there's someone who fucking ruins your goddamn day. There's just a player where you're like, this guy is destroying my goddamn life. You go to bed at night, and you're like, Brian Thomas should fucking die. That's dark. Yes. Well, so we've never done this before. We wanted to try to predict who's going to be in the Burn Book this year. And I think what's specific about the Burn Book is it's not just bad players who are going to play bad. It's good players. It's unexpected. I took A.J. Brown last year thinking everything would be fine. And it was a disaster. And so we're going to try to find the guy. It's players we like, actually. On the surface, it seemed fine. And you don't notice the red flags. It's a betrayal. That's right. You trusted them. Yeah. It's a slap in the face. There's no red flags. flags on the surface um and we think they have the best shot to be the player that absolutely ruins your season i just kind of caught a college sports you just have a shirt is that rob low yeah hell yeah go college everyone's going back to college now i get it you know what i mean you get a huge nil deal to wear that college sports shirt lane kiffin just signed him uh we i do want to shout out quickly we went through all of our burn books of the last four years and there are three people who have been on it twice well four including kyle pitts but he it's obvious he just is like he's named the book is named after kyle pitt that's right the other three who have been on the list mark andrews two times two-timer club not bad jaylen waddle of course the last two years waddle's been on the list and then dj moore is is the leader in the clubhouse low-key dj moore is the most common three times in the last four years so make we wanted to honor those who came before us um before we start here today should i start i i think you have to start i'm gonna just ambush dk he doesn't know this is coming but i want to talk about the seahawks the entire team how dare you what what does this sound like to you okay let's go through this this is a team coming off a super dominant super bowl win they had a massive season for their top skill player their guru offensive coordinator gone right we're kind of assuming everything will be the same and their quarterback is going to be the same and their quarterback is going to be the same and their quarterback is a guy who is playing well but kind of there's always still question marks right i'm describing the 2024 to 2025 eagles oh and i'm like is it not the exact same thing for the 2026 seahawks a little bit his lives are way different though you have kubiak's gone your super bowl mvp gone gone jsn is the saquon to the eagles right where it's like he's gonna go so high now he's the first gonna be one of the top three receivers off the board different system are you a little nervous they're going to see is a guy named brian fury flurry flurry who who like looks and sounds like a fast and furious villain right no one knows anything about him he looks kind of badass exactly that's all i know about him yeah yeah i don't know i'm a little judarian price it's just like rookie first rounder that i feel like could be a travion henderson who was in the burn book last year where it was like wow right right this took eight weeks of starting this guy every week and it didn't work out i'm i apologize to just absolutely here dk wait can i pull something out of your back that away just dk how do you respond oh i don't like it first of all um i know what you're doing and i don't like it he got it i got it sorry that was more happy gilmore i know what you're doing and i don't like it we spent like 20 minutes on that um well first of all the vibes for the eagles are totally different i just want to make that but coming out of the super bowl people hated the eagles during the super bowl run the eagles are always terrible the eagles hated each other super bowl that that is true and we don't have sirianni complimentary i mean uh you guys have watched hard knocks like mike mcdonald is the most impressive human being on earth we got a smattering of applause yeah in la all right uh but that being said like i do see what you're what you're saying here in terms of like the judarian price one's an interesting thing in particular because we get really excited about these explosive young running backs that can pretty much exactly what judarian price is um and he it just might take him a while to get ingrained in this offense i bet you they'll put halani on the field a lot early on we're gonna be pissed i can george halani not ariel hawani because you know it's just like no you're starting running back to defend your super bowl title like no one's ever even heard of it's pretty easy to see two or three weeks in being like god this guy doesn't even fucking play burn i will say taking jackson smith and jigba this year at like number six feels like buying bitcoin at a hundred yeah it's just like it just the idea that coming off an offensive player of the year thing it's the clint kubiak left the offense that's the part that bothers me is clint kubiak's dad literally like invented the offense they run and now it's like this brian flurry guy and it does feel a little bit like going well i'm just saying we don't know that's the point on the niners also niners to seahawks kind of weird i feel like um i really fucked up my knee this morning jackie by the way i fucked up my knee and um i feel like if i was going in for me she's like okay and i'm like i feel like if i was going in for surgery with like clint kubiak i had this great surgeon and then the day of the surgery they're like yeah by the way that guy he works in las vegas now he left yeah you have a new surgeon doing it and i'm like oh that's like has he done surgery before like he's been around a lot of surgeries he's he's watched a lot of watch so many surgeries he accidentally threw a junior mint into the body during the surgery he was there brian flurry has he called plays he's been around some great play callers surgery to be on the whiteboard a lot it was the year before jackson because a year ago jackson smith the jigba had 1100 yards and six touchdowns and that's just the garrett wilson so yeah that honestly that's fucked up but i kind of my finger hesitates a little bit when i see seahawks guys now i'm like man jackson smith and jayba fifth it did feel like a pretty special year all around for the seahawks it's kind of like hard to recreate that so i definitely get i think the jsn thing in there you're just buying him so high yeah at this point uh it's gonna be hard for him to recreate whatever it was like 1700 yards 10 touchdowns they have more guys in their offense now that i think are gonna get a football so yeah i get it who do you have in the burn book uh former seahawk kenneth walker really look i can't be i i just have established this i can't be unbiased about him i can't be rational he's i mean look he's fucked me every other season i don't understand why he wouldn't do it again okay i don't know it's like the dead dove do not eat i like i don't know what i expected but um yeah it says walker right in the name kenneth walker i think the the math on this is he's in a new offense that's it he's not with the seahawks anymore complimentary okay um and what the seahawks curse him or something the super bowl winning seahawks he's not on that team anymore right so that's good okay that's that's what we're doing with right now um so i don't know if that's gonna work necessarily i think he's gonna be the one guy again this year this happens every year as if you guys have listened to me forever i'm like constantly hyping up kenneth walker he like a few weeks in i'm and he's only playing 55 percent of snaps and they're not running the ball very much and then they're passing in the red zone and i'm like it happened again i mean if yeah i ate the duck i think everyone forgets the chief's offense has fucking sucked for three years and it's been terrible to watch i'm comparing him to to uh kareem hunt from 2017 that's what i'm doing right now yeah 2017 as like the as like best case scenario you're saying yeah this podcast around in 2017 no okay how no you knew that i can't remember like last week what what what year did i started at the ringer in 2017 we weren't around i don't think that's true either well what of course it is oh okay oh wait 18 2018 yeah what the fuck is wrong with a long time it's been a long time oh my god all right voice box on the rocks for you but i will say to kenneth walker to that point like they're you know these guys going like top two three rounds like there's only you usually want consistency you want a guy you can depend on that you know is going to be good kenneth walker is one of the only people going in like the first two rounds it's like on a new team there's like new things going on usually you just want something that's dependable which does kind of bring me to to the next guy who has to be on the list even though he's on a better team and things seem better it's jaylen walker wattle who has been in the burn why are we doing this i don't know sean payton and jaylen wattle are together that's like driving high and drunk i don't why we just expect that's gonna work the guy who's your least favorite fantasy coach of all time and our least favorite fantasy player of all time i'm like if you put them together well we've been doing multiplication if you multiply a negative by a negative it's a positive but i think it's going to be like subtraction we're just even worse than ever before everybody's all in like when is the last time sean payton made it wow that's crazy i don't know honestly when he yelled at the refs when they blew that call like 10 years ago was that 2017 or 2018 you know it's when i started the ringers so um yeah i don't know i was looking i was like looking around at wattle and i it's actually i i i didn't realize just how bad it's been it's been a mess on a week-to-week basis even that year in miami when tua led the league in passing yards and they were like second in the league in points jaylen wattle had a thousand yards and four touchdowns i'm like okay they won against 70 to nothing they got 10 touchdowns in one game i don't know did you see the catch he made in the preseason though pretty good why is he even playing in the preseason pretty fast you see drowler and then he was hurt yeah oh drowler should we talk about him um i'm happy to he's making throws nobody can make he played tonight do you know what happened no me neither i believe he started two for two and then i closed my laptop haha are you on board like you're your hand is gonna is gonna hesitate over jaylen wattle's name i drafted him in my home league actually i kept him in my home league which is idiotic probably okay he's one of those he is one in our chosen profession like we it's the fiduciary fiduciary duty fiduciary fiduciary uh not judicial fiduciary right fiduciary duty for once yeah whoa good work What was that? That was crazy. I bought I have bought into the hype around. Well, that was kind of insulting. That was like, what the fuck was that? Yeah, yeah, he did it. Yeah, that's like what a kid falls and everyone's like, you're okay, get up. Wait, what? Maestro Maestro. It's called Spanish. Sorry, isn't it Italian? I went to Chile. Maestro is Italian. Maestro in Spanish is teacher. Okay, which is like the first word. They fucking teach you, but it's fine. We don't need to do this again. Waddle. He's one of those ones. I think where I believe it with my head and in my heart. I'm like can't get there. This is gonna fucking this is gonna be terrible. I can't believe you are keeping Jalen bottle and Sean Payton's fucking team and you're like, yeah, but it's literally like us right here expand my horizon. I'm trying to become a better person and get over this Sean Payton thing. When you asked me the last time he made me happy. I couldn't think of a single moment. It's true too, because we're trying. We're trying to expand our horizons and forgive and then the moment the seasons were going to be get the season begins. We're going to be like why the hell like you can't let these toxic people for sure. It's like I can't wait to step on this rake. That's really what's happening. Okay, there's another there's another team player team that I think we have to talk about this. And again, I think a key thing of the burn book is like it's excitement that then sours into bitterness in your heart. Like it really it hurts worse champ. Yes, like a beat like like this beach am 12 hours from now something you're excited for worse in your heart and I have to say, you know, when you're drinking and you have like the worst hangover ever and you wake up in the morning, you're like I'm never going to drink again. Yeah, that's how I'm going to feel tomorrow morning after eating that ham. I'm never eating him again. I feel like that's how the Chargers season ended. The Chargers season ended. Everybody was hurt. You were doing the hobbled Herbert. Yeah, how about Herbert who here? Who here is a genuine Chargers fan? All right. Damn. I wish there was more. That's that there's fewer of you than women listening to our pod in Los Angeles. That is wild. Yeah, that's incredible. How many of you are from San Diego that cheered? Okay, so yeah, that's fair. That's fair people. Some some San Diego emailer sent that you're a coward for rooting for the Dodgers instead of the Padres and they were like explain yourself from the Bay lifelong school in San Diego and then I moved to LA and roof of the Dodgers. The two fan bases that like when you stab Dodgers fans in the parking lot. I'm not like a I don't declare myself a Dodgers fan. I'm just enjoying we fucking do when you say we you did on the show three days ago. Here's what I'll say. We're doing pretty good. Can I speak your honor? Sure. You have a judiciary duty. It started as a bit. Now it's kind of fun. Sorry. I've been an ace fan my whole life. Two years ago is like what's with this Dodgers team and route to a three peak that's going to destroy this sport. Game seven last year at a great time. You took out all this and that's such a good game. Craig's favorite new thing is like this is true. Every he's gone to like seven Dodgers games in the last month and he just sends us a picture of his hat. It's just like a ha. Also, my wife, my wife, Elizabeth, who's here tonight, born and raised in LA Dodger fan, her whole family Dodger fan. Oh, that's fine. That's good. I'm happy for her. Just saying I just, you know what? Nevermind. Anyway, keep, you're doing a Chargers thing. Oh, right. Drunk hung over. If the same way you're like, I'm never going to drink ever again in the midst of the worst hangover on Sunday. And then Friday at 5 PM, someone texts you like, man, you want a beer? I'm like, fuck. Yeah. I want a beer at Friday. I love when my friend texts me. You want a beer? You want to grab a beer? I would love that. You want a beer? That's a little psychotic. My point being that when the beer hits your hand, like Molnir, it does, but that's the Chargers or this team. Every year, the season ends. I will never take the Chargers ever again. And now we're cognizant of the fact that we do this every fucking time. It's August 27th and America's years. We're going to be right. Yeah. And it's going to be this year. I think so. But a Marion Hampton's going to hit my, my hand, like, like a beer on Friday. It's going to hit my hand, like Molnir. And I'm looking around. I'm like, the Chargers are going to be the single biggest burn book team because we're going to be sitting here a year from now. And they're like, well, last year, that was the first year under Mike McDaniel, but everyone's going to get hurt again. There it's 20 straight years of like, this is the year for the Chargers. And on the 20th anniversary, we're like, no, for real this time. And they're going to break our goddamn hearts. They're all going to get hurt. They're going to suck. And we're going to be furious at ourselves for having a Marion Hampton at 500 fucking yards last year and broke his ankle. And the second round ahead of like Derek Henry. And we're going to be like, what drugs was on? What was I doing last night? I'm never doing this again. Jesus. I see QJ's touchdown though. Yes. My God. Both tackles are healthy. I do agree with him though. My Kenneth Walker point, it comes back. It's the same thing, but it's like even it's like, well, Marion Hampton is going like late first round, early second round. We had Nate Tice on the podcast a week or two ago. And the way he was talking about it made me want to take a Marion Hampton like eighth overall. But it's once again, it's like, he's really the only guy going in the first round or two that you're like, I technically don't even know if he's good yet. I'm not sure what he looks like playing football. Right. I can't remember. He played like seven games last year. He's been playing since 2017. Yeah. So I agree with you. He could, if he has like 13 carries week one, you're like, I'm going to jump off a bridge. No, he'll be good though. I literally actually just took him today in my oldest league. And I was like, I'm going to regret this. What pick? He fell to like 15. And I was like, I'm doing this right here right now. Right now. No, I, it's the best bet you can make a second. You're running back. Like if you haven't done your draft, I do second, you're running back. It was a first round pick with a good offensive line, an improved coordinator and a great quarterback is like literally the best bet you can make in the history of fantasy, like over and over. Cause the point again, this episode is brought to you by NOS energy, introducing new NOS energy Grand Prix Guava for those that want to be fueled up and fired up with a hundred mile an hour tropical tasting power, ignite your taste, start your engine, shift your flavor to high gear with new NOS energy Grand Prix Guava hit the street, grab a can and get after it. This episode is brought to you by the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo. That's a mouthful, but that's because it packs a lot in earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases with it, big or small. So whether it's buying tickets to the game and grabbing a coffee, it earns unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases. Say it with me, the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo, be a two percenter, learn more at Wells Fargo.com forward slash active cash terms of play. The point of this exercise, we're not saying don't take these people. We're just saying if you do and it goes poorly, we, we did warn you. How's how stupid we emotionally prepared you, right? I'm telling you to not drink, like go out. Yeah, no, have fun. But when you're hung over, don't call us DK. Who else are you pre putting in the burn book for this year? All right. So the rules of the, the burn book are, you can't really go in for an injury. It's not like part of the deal. It's usually, it's just, you didn't perform the way we expected. It's really annoying how they're performing or whatever. Um, with Mike Evans, it's not purely that he's going to get hurt. It's about us ignoring the fact that he's very obviously going to get hurt. The most injury prone player in the league went to the substation. He's healthy going into the season. You're saying it's still naive to assume he will not get hurt. Right. Why are we doing this again? Um, so who here has seen Chernobyl show? Great show. Really good show. The show. Yeah. The show. Yeah. Has anyone been to Chernobyl? No. Okay. I saw an Instagram. A wolf went back there. That was cool. Nature's taking back over. I actually thought there'd be a crowd, like an applause there, which shows how much my algorithm is separated, but nevermind. You thought people would be excited about the wolf. I thought everyone saw it. That's the problem with the internet now. It's like just, yeah. Anyway. Um, so they, a key moth guy, the guy in Chernobyl who is like the huge asshole who's running the power plant during the, during the belt down or whatever. He's the, he's the worst. He's the fucking worst. Anyway, that's Kyle Shanahan in this analogy. I like Kyle. Yeah. I had a tough month. Yeah. He pushes his nuclear reactors to the absolute fucking maximum limit. And then he's surprised when they blow up. That's the thing. 3.6. Rodkin. Ronkin. This is, we're at 3.6. Ronkin right now with the, with the 49ers. This is like a really niche joke. Uh, not bad, not good, not terrible. Sorry. Not great. Not terrible. It's mattering. How high does the meter go on the Ronkins? How high does the nuclear reactors, the substation or Kyle Shanahan? What the fuck are you talking about? What is a Ronkin? The, uh, the unit, the unit of measurement. Yeah. It's like, it's bad. 3.6. Ronkin is as high as the meter goes for the radiation. 20,000 is what the stub stations putting off. Um, I should have, I should have practiced this. Uh, anyway, uh, Mike Evans is dealing with a groin strain right now. Should I keep going? No, no. I was like, it's bad. That's 10,000. Ronkin. Uh, should he, should he keep going with this Chernobyl? Not terrible. Yeah. It's a really good show. It is a great show. I know it's great, but I don't want to watch it because there's never been a night. It's harrowing. 1100 nights in a row. I've sat down and be like, do I want to watch? dye of radioactive poisoning, and then I've said no. It's a fair question. I love that the guy who made that made sheep detectives. is that right yeah craig mazen wow dude the duality of man was that good he also he also did something really funny before that craig mazen yeah what did he do look it up real quick i'm gonna vamp the hangover he followed up the hangover with chernobyl and it was apparently the most accurate representation of soviet union in that era like i saw somebody on twitter talking about this it's like he grew up in the soviet union he was like i can't believe the amount of detail they got in this every little tiny thing in the show the guy who made the hangover dude he was hung over he was like this is like chernobyl and i heard the same thing about sheep detectives they were like this is the most accurate portrayal this is exactly how sheep talk a hangover two not one by the way that's such wow yeah thanks college sports guy oh oh oh three point six ronkin not great not to go back to my i mean he's totally right mike evans is like the holy trinity of red flags it's like he's old he's on a new team he's always hurt you'll feel like a moron the second you pick him i'm going to yeah and like him but i'm taking him yeah anyway like kyle shannon that that chernobyl power plant guy was texting and driving right before the whole thing went down so oh well people booed what the fuck was that sorry he's fine he's okay well not the chernobyl guy but anyway i assume craig who's next in the burn book we have we have a fiduciary responsibility to mention dj moore who is on another team again who we're now we're like yeah it's a new team dj more it's going to happen this year he's been in the burn book three of the last four years and it seems good josh allen he's the number one guy dk what's the fool me once joke that you were doing that's how i feel about dj because i've seen this uh stand up bit i'm not i'm not gonna like try and recreate it but he's basically like hold on let me pull it up here uh fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me three times well twice the shame on me i can't believe i allowed you to fool me again fool me four times shame's back on you actually you're taking you're taking advantage of a vulnerable man here fool me five times where are we at with dj more five times four times four five five times shame on me again i mean i might be a vulnerable man but at some point you got to take personal responsibility well that's how that's that's we'll probably stop there because that's how i feel about dj more fool me five times hey dj more the best thing to happen to dj more is aj brown because if aj brown didn't exist everybody would be like that's the guy who doesn't try in games he doesn't give a shit but aj brown showed up and started reading books on the sideline and now nobody remembers what dj dj more quit in the middle of a route that's dj more literally during a play walked off the field i've quite literally never seen that before incredible yeah he's just the best person in the world and now he's on the bills and it's like oh yeah is it better pr well it's just quieter pr i guess it's just less pr has anyone like been a more unexpected winner from the nfl recently than the guy who wrote that book that aj brown was reading i know didn't it did it do well did it oh it went to like number one and self-help that week and i'm like oh god just google aj brown book i don't remember it was a big winner this week was vrabel should i oh man where's my did i cover did i cover all the notes with the b-cham how sturdy is this thing oh we had the great jed york email do we i was gonna say after the york thing vrabel's like uh yeah that's thank god seriously he probably planted it yeah hired big dom to go get a go get this sting operation anyway do you do you like what yes um he did what do you agree about dj more or are you like no he's on the bills this is great i can't it's funny because i'm like why did we put him in the burn book so many times i feel like this guy's he's had a thousand yards once in the last four years oh we got the notes we got the notes thank you thank god elizabeth thank god should i just elizabeth fairman thank you she's literally an angel descended from heaven elizabeth is she runs the she's like responsible for our live shows and um she bought this ham so thank you to elizabeth we asked her to buy a ham for the show that was crazy of us i don't know why we did that are we talking how big is this ham need to be and we said the number does not exist as big as you can find this thing is 10 pounds i don't know what we were thinking that was absolutely crazy seriously right now sifting for it no i was looking for a question about yeah i'll find it later to answer your question about dj more though like i see this 100 because i told you guys i was completely sucked in when i watched him play one pre-season game and then he got hurt in it and for some reason i'm more concentrating on like the part that he did before he got hurt um it feels like we're going to get burned again yeah and yet i'm like maybe we won't kind of good value at this late in the draft did you find it yeah so this is from tyler tyler breakfast was a hot italian sausage three fried eggs sourdough avocado toast and espresso oh that's a lot that's a good one that's a great way to start that's a vacation breakfast right there it is yeah jed york owner of the 49ers was allegedly allegedly arrested with a hundred and six dollars in cash in his wallet after being quoted by a lady of the night for 100 160 with a condom 180 without can you take can you take a hundred and sixty dollars out of an atm exactly i suppose you can do 20s yeah yeah i heard it's funny that he just didn't go too hundy you know well he's worth like five billion dollars i need exactly a hundred and sixty dollars and the internet is torn between a billionaire not tipping a sex worker and tipping culture getting out of control where do you draw the line on who you're tipping and she turns around the little screen after and it's like just hit some whole new meaning to the word tipping yeah oh uh where do each of you stand hypothetically do you absolutely what you got a tip what do you mean you're a billionaire this is at least go down with a modicum of class if he had 320 bucks in his wallet they'd be like you know what at least you know if you're a billionaire rolling through east palestine ohio trailer parks you got to be rolling through that like mansa musa you got to change the local economy and that's like you gotta donating left and right like you gotta you gotta change some lives officer i was giving everyone a two hundred dollars that might actually be good he's good obviously he's handed out cash to everyone it would have been fine i love that he dressed like adam sandler for that he was just looking like a big ass t-shirt and basketball shorts basketball shorts on or it's like like joggers or something like it was a very casual outfit wait was that on his was that his uh it was in the police body cam footage i watched that i want to get into it that's where it was i watched the body cam and i literally was like all right i'll wait a day and i'll just have someone figure out if it's ai or not in like 24 hours i thought that the cop was like dude this guy's crazy this guy's rich as hell you can because you can buy jed york shorts now jed york mugshot shorts that's a mouthful holy is that on slammaslut.com that's a great collab that would be an amazing collab wait for the crossover my god i wish she was wearing those god anyway this is why only seven women listen to the show it's like it's now four i believe three have left yeah i was gonna say come back please i do love the idea for turning around with the little screen and just like you having to hit the 15 percent 20 25. what do you mean you like the idea of that i just like the idea that they do it and then you know they turn they turn the screen and they're like yeah you can hit one and that's like swipe yeah exactly i already did that all right we're talking about the burn book right we're wrapping up dj moore i go to my next one wrapping up well that's how much it costs with a condom that's 180. it's good 180 without apparently do you have anyone else for the burn book craig we've been talking about aj brown a lot i do want to mention the now the the top guy on the eagles devonte smith i'm like what if it's just aj brown again like i i will feel stupid if i'm like well the talented receiver who i thought was going to be good is now gone out of philly well there's another talented receiver who i think will be good in philly with the same situation different coordinator but i'm like if but this guy's 170 pounds right this guy weighs less than me uh last year week one aj brown had one catch for eight yards and it came into like the fourth quarter when everybody was already like i'm i'm done and i'm like if devonte smith if it's the same thing week one i'm gonna feel like a moron that game league one last year was like the combo of like it was against dallas yeah jalen carter spitting on dac before the season started and then aj brown spit on us to represent no you're right if devonte smith starts reading a book on the sideline this year how quick till jalen hurts is traded i'm just like i'm gonna feel like i'm an idiot if he just like is also bad and jalen hurts is struggling and i'm like of course you're like this just happened yeah that's how i'm going to feel about basial tootin i'm doing it for you ivets i know that you're people are giving him shit for us to bring it up basial tootin too much tootin is the most there's no player that better represents a player in the nfl week four we're like obviously that didn't work obviously like obviously that didn't happen it's like a few i think we invented the burn book because a few years ago we had cam akers coming off his torn achilles for week one in like round four and then in week one he got like three carries i mean when is the last time a fourth round pick who's like really hasn't done anything we're like this guy's gonna be awesome out the gate it's just It's usually like a Bucky Irving that nobody expected. It comes out of nowhere. We're putting a lot of credit into tootin'. You're taking a player that's never done anything resembling what you're taking him for, and then he just isn't going to do it. And then you're like, I don't know why I did that. Right. He could do it. In theory, it'd be cool. Which is what I'm fixating on. Right. But what if he doesn't? But also, we haven't seen him do anything. Right. You know, the more I think about this question, shouldn't the condom be more than 20 bucks? Right. That's like not a very big difference. It's not. The more I think about that, it's not upcharging enough. The condom was $160 without a condom was $180? No, it was $160 with, $180 without. Shouldn't it be more expensive? $160 with a condom. Yeah, sorry. I had that back. Well, I guess, I don't know. It just doesn't seem like a big enough amount. You're paying more. Just curiosity. You're paying. Which one is which? $160 with a condom, $180 without. And the more I think about it, those products are not differentiated enough. Silence. I have no comment. I don't know what to say to that. So, hold on. He, uh. He, like, texted some company and he was, like, asking for the whole nine yards or whatever. What was it? I don't know. It was the service. He was corresponding with the service. Right, right, right. Yeah. I'm just curious now. And then. Well, what was the other thing? That's how they got him. They tracked his phone because they were, like, hacking the service. Did you see that? The trailer park was, like, trying to distance themselves from him. The trailer park was, like, we had nothing to do with this. Oh, yeah. Weren't they, like. He was just stopping by, I think. He wasn't. This does not have anything to do with that. Yeah, we don't know him. Anyway. Yeah. Devante Smith's gonna hate the Eagles. That's good. Uh, the last one I had here, just a burn book. I think, just in terms of, like, how high you're taking them, the expectations when you take a player, and then, like, how quickly they're gonna make you feel fucking stupid. The Rasheed Rice third round pick after he rehabbed his knee in jail. How could we have seen this coming? It reminds me a lot of, like, imagine if a player had, like, I don't know, rehabbed his knee in jail. That just. I. Take it in the third round. Yeah. I will. Yeah. Think about all the receivers ahead of him who rehabbed their knees anywhere else. Right. And I did actually look up the jail that he was in, and it was. It's the North Tower Jail in Dallas, and I looked up, and it's alphabetical, so he's M to Z, and I looked up the. I found. It's, like, on Google Earth. What is this? Street View? No, it's on the Dallas County website. I found it. Dude, the facilities are lacking. Yeah, yeah. It is. No bar. No, like. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's all machines. Yeah. There's no padded seating, I imagine. No. There's nowhere to foam roll. Like, it's not, like. Telling you, man. All right. That's fair. That's fair. Any other burn book? Who on this list are you the most afraid of? That is a good question. Jalen Waddell. Yeah. Yeah. The guy we hate playing for the coach we hate. Yeah. That's the guy I'm staking my league on this year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Devontae Waddell or Devontae Smith makes me nervous, but yeah. Okay. We have to. I think we have to do a new segment here. So, in the vein of the over-committing to something from, like, one episode that we're realizing maybe people didn't really understand in addition to. And that episode was, like, three days ago? Three days ago. How many people hurt. And, like, it's okay if you have not, but a few days ago while we were in person, DK said Cleveland's weather was worse than Siberia? DK went off on Cleveland. Destroyed it. I've never even been to Cleveland. I don't know. I don't know. I've never even been there. It just, like, seems terrible. Explain. Please explain. Because you were so angry about Cleveland. Late in the football season, it snows eight feet every fucking Sunday. That's all. So. It's insane there. DK, after we. I don't know what the lake effect is, but it's crazy. So, after we. I would rather live anywhere else in the world. Anywhere else in the. You did say that. Anywhere else in the world. Well, maybe. So, then he went with Siberia. After we stopped recording, DK then admitted he had never. Never been to Cleveland. So, we're going to play a special game here. Thank you to the Fonda for arranging this. We're going to play a game called Cleveland or Siberia. And we're going to have some photos. And I'm going to. They have not seen these. And I'm going to make them guess if it's Cleveland or Siberia. All right. And if you guys are down, you guys can play as well. Do we have anyone from Cleveland? Yeah. Is anyone here from Cleveland? Okay. This is important. Hell yeah. This is very important. I know the people here from Cleveland are going to be very excited. Please don't ruin this. Because DK just saw you. Anyone from Siberia? Is anyone. No? If you're from Cleveland, please stay still. Because you're going to be amazed by what you see. So, without further ado, next slide here. Cleveland or Siberia? Oh, Christ. Wow. Wow. Shit. Are those Soviet era apartments in the background? No. Uh. I think. Or Cleveland. I think. This is going to be Siberia. I think they want us to think this is Cleveland and it's Siberia. Siberia. Do you guys think that it's. Make some noise if you think it's Cleveland. They're thinking it's Siberia. Make some noise if you think it's Siberia. Oh. This is Siberia. Yeah. We got it. That's not what I pictured. This supports your claim. This supports your claim, DK. Yeah, yeah. Next slide. Beautiful. Uh. Hold on. I see. A key bank sign in the background. Do they have key banks in Siberia? Who's that guy on, like, TikTok who can, like, guess anywhere in the world? The GeoGuessr. I wish we knew that guy. Um. This is Cleveland. That's got to be Cleveland. Right? You guys. Who thinks it's Cleveland? Who thinks it's Siberia? Fuck. Yeah, it's Cleveland. That's crazy. Cleveland. Two for two. Next slide. Oh. Okay. We're zooming in a little bit. It's, like, brutalist. It's, like, brutalist architecture. Interesting. That's, uh. Wait. Wait, the flags! The flag! It doesn't look like the Russian flag, though, to be honest. Is that. What's the. Italy? I doubt that's the Cleveland flag. Dude, this has got to be Siberia. Yeah, right? Who thinks this is Siberia? Who thinks this is Cleveland? This is fucking Cleveland. Damn it! What flag is that? What is this place? I tricked you 'cause I cropped out the American flag. Yeah, what is this? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, yeah. Fuck, I should have known that. Damn it. Sorry. Fuck you guys. Next slide, please. Cleveland does rock. Wow. Uh. That's got to be Siberia. What kind of bird are we talking here? I'm going Siberia. Final answer. This one's, like, very obviously Siberia, which means it's going to be Cleveland. But I'm going to go Siberia. Does everyone. Does everyone else think it's very obviously Cleveland? Yeah! Siberia? Yeah! All right. It's Siberia. Yeah. All right. Next one. This is fucking lake effect right here, baby. That's week 16. Steelers, Browns. You're proving my point right now. This is Cleveland. This is the beautiful waterfront of Cleveland, Ohio. Or the Kremlin. I don't know. Is it the Kremlin on a very cold day? what do you think i i'm gonna go with siberia siberia cleveland that is cleveland no i fucking knew it all right next slide oh you're footballing that cool hold on that's crazy cleveland or siberia i mean there's a volvo so i actually don't know what that means yeah swedish car brand is that a volvo i don't know it's close closer to siberia than america this is i mean this is i see is that ontario street this is fucking cleveland i get what you want me to do all right next slide next slide fine oh this is good this looks like more playable than the last one is that cleveland oh i hope to god this is the most west coast shit i've ever seen they have no idea you this is siberia but i really hope it's cleveland what is it this is siberia oh damn it all right next slide this is the same picture but in a different month uh that's cleveland yeah cleveland who thinks it's cleveland yeah it's cleveland okay all right next slide i think we have one more of these uh two more of these okay i'm gonna it's in cleveland is that cleveland yeah it's cleveland all right craig's hate lake effect oh here we go oh man i'm not seeing a lot of clues here this is cleveland cleveland siberia who thinks siberia who thinks cleveland it's cleveland yeah all right thank you everyone for playing cleveland or siberia so dk so i feel like i won right you're kind of vindicated a little bit yeah actually the lake effect lake it's probably really nice in the summer though right that photo with the hawk was crazy what's it like in the winter horrible okay just be a snowbird okay you guys uh you guys want to do some emails yeah okay first of all sorry i just i know we kind of really lead heavily to the make a noise bit but we do have to just start with um some we had to settle an argument can you make some noise if you think a chode is a taint wait what who thinks a chode is is like a short fat wrong the trump thing young crowd tonight all right wait that was no one else thought it was a taint we got one we got two there are dozens of us more people saw my wolf in chernobyl algorithm post that thought that okay this is from i don't know so they wrote in cursive so something something irene irene yeah irene turkey chomps and vanilla latte i don't know what turkey chomp is a meat stick i thought it was like a chomp like a chomp with his hand sounds yeah that's good turkey chomp this is a i love this question i rewrote what's a great super bowl for a new football fan to rewatch to get into football oh that's i mean that's a great question uh i mean you're welcome first thing that came to mind is pat's falcons the comeback i think i think in rewatch i i hate the fucking patriots but i do think the right answer is the rewatchables category what's the best double feature you really need to go patriots seahawks back to back with the patriots falcons one because i they're like the giants beating the patriots is like the game wasn't as good yeah the giants beating the patriots is like the greatest moment of life but the games kind of suck to watch that was more of a storyline thing you needed to have watched the whole season to kind of understand the context right the patriots seahawks game is that the they ended up winning sorry malcolm butler sorry worst moment of your fucking life yeah you blacked out there's a fly by your beach ham oh shit there fuck you fly fuck it's attracting shit what were we thinking the beach guys how did no one talk us out of this jack wilson somewhere it's like i told you and it's attracting flies i think the fly it's like fruit it came out of the ham i don't know uh but no that and the falcons patriots won because this episode is brought to you by adt one second you're enjoying your day off the next your phone buzzes a window's been broken at home you're miles away in one second everything can change that's why adt security systems can monitor your home 24 7 they're backed by the most company operated monitoring centers in the industry so you're always supported during an emergency when every second counts count on adt visit adt.com to learn more this episode is brought to you by 20th century studios the dog stars now playing in theaters and imax visionary filmmaker ridley scott returns with a gripping post-apocalyptic thriller when a mysterious radio transmission shatters a lone pilot's isolated existence he embarks on a dangerous journey in search of hope starring jacob lordy josh brolin margaret qualley alice and jenny and guy pierce the dog stars now playing in theaters and imax it i remember halfway through i i have never been happier about all my patriots since being miserable like i can't tell you how great it was it really was mountain the viper yeah it's a sports game i wrote like half an article about how great the falcons were and then i was like oh really okay fuck yeah it's like well uh i will say i really appreciated the falcons for doing that because then people stopped talking about russell wilson throwing an interception at the one yard line so much you you were dj moore thank god for aj brown yeah i'm brable right now i'm like fuck yeah you're like york york he did what that's way worse than me right yes he was wearing what kind of shorts slam a slut 160 bucks uh this email's from morgan who put their email shout out morgan putting an actual email i don't want to talk to their millennial banger is friends in low places which i love i don't know is that a millennial banger elder elder i mean that's 90s right straight 90s elder millennial elder millennial banger in college i think gen x loves that song that's my issue anyway you don't know breakfast you don't know what gen x is i feel like i mean bill is gen x continue well morgan's breakfast was two bowls of cocoa puffs which i kind of wanted that's wild yeah anyway morgan actual fancy football question was i'm picking 10th and 12th in a ppr league do i go running back running back even if there are receivers ranked higher and i kind of my short answer is like yeah i think like like you can what you're saying go do running back running back or no if you want yeah it's your life is just so much easier when you have two great running backs even if you're like well justin jefferson's ranked higher who cares yeah i do agree with that the lesson every year is like wide receivers deep it usually is and running back is kind of especially if you have a two receiver league if you have a three receiver league that's a little bit different uh-huh that's a good point yeah all right this one's from jay bone jay bone breakfast was black coffee and prozac how level you out hell yeah like that i thought it said pork something um jay bone writes what is the worst fantasy loss of your life alvin camara christmas fucking oh my god championship i will never i will never forgive i was in it yeah i was i was i was driving that day i don't know why christmas day i was driving up to the bay and i obviously wasn't watching the games and i pulled over to gas station i pulled my phone out and alvin camara had six touchdowns and i was like christmas was ruined point yeah the best part about that is i think that was the first time the nfl had week 17 on christmas day no i think it was week 16 it wasn't oh okay wasn't it i'm trying to remember you guys can correct me if i'm wrong but it was like a thursday night game or something so it was like it was there was some traumatized man it's like it was it was like camara scored 60 points on thursday and we're just like yeah it was over before it even started the entire christmas the new year's thing you're just like fuck alvin camara wrap it up boys this is why honestly like i can't enjoy christmas now i we've never talked about this i should have done this as a take purge but i'll do it now fantasy football is so much worse now that the championship is on christmas it's kind of not fun anymore dude sitting that's sunday i remember sitting down i'm down 60 to 0 it's sunday i'm in the championship and i'm just like feeling fucking miserable there's no worse feeling make talk to me why i was like should i even watch i know i'm gonna lose shut up mom leave me alone fuck your gifts okay what it's christmas well sunday i'm saying oh yeah you're telling your mom to fuck your kids what gifts oh gifts jesus that's uh it's not shed york reminds me this is really random i'm sure some of maybe three or four of you guys have heard this but there was a random like australian person was being interviewed and he was like as a father what would you recommend to new like new parents or whatever it was like stay away from the kids and it was like he was like what stay away or avoid dickheads to kids you want you want people to stay away from the kids you want people to stay away from the kids and you want people to stay away from the kids he's like no dickheads oh makes sense makes sense uh anyway austin writes breakfast three eggs over toast and an iced hoji i wasn't gonna get that thanks hojija mate i i don't know it's a type of it's a tea austin writes question from any nfl era what team would have been the most entertaining to watch in hard knocks offseason and honestly he answered it in it which is is it the 90s cowboys it has to be when michael irvin stabbed his teammate in the neck and they covered it up that's pretty good during training camp because he was sitting in his chair in the barber shop 21st century edition there's probably a a stealer's team when it was like antonio brown levion bell yeah tomlin james harrison lord if they like they have to do that as a podcast this year just get those guys back in a room big ben has a podcast you know what goes on because they yeah i've never listened to it uh i haven't no it's called like it's called like footballing with big ben or something but it has like it's like football and ah it's like the pittsburgh ball accent get out of here mac if he kind of took that yeah that's yeah what's this thing what does he say well it's like a pittsburgh accent it's like near cleveland you wouldn't you've never been there noah writes breakfast celsius in a breakfast burrito what is with people at the celsius in the morning yeah yeah who drinks the energy drinks in the morning a lot of people wow what's the celsius i don't know what that is it's an energy drink it's like a monster a monster it's like a monster without the claw you know it's like a button a monster you would take to like i don't know classy around your mom classy monster um yeah yeah yeah i love the people who wrote the emails on the paper that makes me so happy um noah writes fuck mary kill mike mccarthy jim harbaugh or liam cohen oh which i think we need to make it harder somebody asked so to speak somebody asked me on we did a reddit ama the other day and somebody asked if there was any coach that was just three kids in a trench coat who would it be and my first thought was liam cohen i don't know why he's just like he got skinny yeah over the off season i'm like he looks too skinny and he's like he's pretty tall when he does look like three kids does he no okay what buttoned up anyway we got to kill mike mccarthy right i don't know harb i mean harbaugh do you marry harbaugh i don't want mary jim great question jim okay i don't know jim jim we're not gonna have jim oh damn i know that's such a bummer i feel like we kind of went too far did your parents think the romo get rid of robo did you guys think that the my my dad thought the ai video of um romo doing the dac warm-up before the line test my dad thought that was real we're very close to the end like the horse doing like a double jump and then a triple flip into the water it's like is this real i watched that today i'm terrified when i send somebody is this real oh it's like the biggest thing now bill got got with one of those he asked us about a jaguar do it what was it what was the what was the alligator walked up bill started flying for the jaguars out of water and then stood up yeah yeah look pretty real because all the first ones were on like the ring doorbells oh my god anyway um the question fuck me or kill mike mccarthy harbaugh and harbaugh and liam cohen is this like a football coach thing or just like a life thing it's up to you what kind of marriage you want either way i kill mike mccarthy your life with this man i want to spend my life with harbaugh he sounds he feels like a good time he's like he's gonna keep things interesting yeah we're making we got chickens in the backyard it's great i'm just gonna opt out of this i'm not gonna answer that question okay fine i'll fuck jim you uh i'm gonna marry cohen and kill mccarthy i love the instant peer pressure shame who would you fuck say fuck your coach fuck someone i fuck jim all right fuck jim if his name was james harbaugh would that be different yeah completely i've actually never is his name james i've never thought about that it'd be over um oh this is this is from liz the one and only liz kelly my wife is that right yes who do you think would win in a league between our wives is what liz wrote liz jackie and skippy well skippy's not here so we can say whatever and there's no way she can hear this uh i think jackie because liz does not listen to the show uh no chance i do agree it would be jackie i i think liz after like two weeks would be like a.j brown had one catch last week i spent 45 on him what the fuck is this tell me what the fuck is this you fucking tell me to do that yeah also she enjoys sundays too much yeah she'd want to do she'd want to do other things you know i mean that's fair liz's millennial banger was also temperature by sean paul because she has great taste we'll get to that we'll get to that we're getting to that very soon all right this is from yeah this is from joe me another ringer employee joe me jay bone where are you jesus joe me this is something joe me writes breakfast half a donut joe me's gone like damn he left halfway this is a fucking crazy question joe me wrote half a donut his banger his millennial banger is slippery with migos featuring gucci mane joe me's question is would you rather your favorite football team have a patriots type run where they win six or seven superbowls or would you rather solve racism forever is it well is it six or seven seven is a lot it's a lot it's a lot of super bowls theoretically be better seven's the record you could be better than the patriots dynasty it's close three super bowls like no i'm gonna be a hero yeah like that's not enough once i start when i need two hands let's get a little close i'm solving racism thank you thank you thank you dk's won the crowd i'm gonna decline to answer this question like dk yeah no i'll solve racism i'm fucking jim yeah i'll fuck jim harbaugh that's my answer yeah james you have to call him james james harbaugh no i'll do it no it's okay uh this is no name just two eggs with hot sauce sounds good someone wrote our victoria thanks victoria v bone some uh victoria wrote our friend is wearing a hot dog costume as punishment for losing our league stand up good for you give us a holy shit show me your wiener what is it oh tell me about your wiener yeah that's slightly different yes uh hot dog guy has lost twice in a row please help me out i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm Help our hot dog guy avoid a three-peat. Oh, yeah. Don't take any of the players we talked about today. There you go. Well, were you entertained anyway? Yeah. We're all having a good time. Look, we're out here solving racism. We can't do everything. We got to find the guy who did this. That's really. Yeah. And Victoria was like, give him a pep talk. The pep talk is. Life sucks. And then you die. You know, just be happy for today. What was it that Mike Mc. What's his last name? Daniels? Mike McDaniel. McDaniels. One's the coach of your team. One's the coach of your team that just won. How many Super Bowls does Mike McDaniel need to win until you don't do that? I don't know. Have you ever met me? My memory is. Lately, McDaniel just said, today's a great day because it's the youngest I'll ever be for the rest of my life, right? Fucking great attitude. Well, it's better than Miami when he was like one day closer to death. Positive, like, positive nihilism. Is there a better representation of the difference between, like, kind of like coming off Coke and you're like one day closer to death and being on gummies and you're like youngest I'll ever be? He's like walking out of Erewhon. He's like, what? It's a sunny day. I look young. This is from Christine, one of the seven. Christine. See both? Shout out, Christine. Yeah. God. Breakfast, great breakfast. Some kind of flavored latte made at home with peanut butter, protein powder, mixed with strawberry yogurt. All right. Incredible. It's like peanut butter and jelly. That's good. I like it. It's a good combo. He's like, did you hear that? Guys, it goes together really well. It tastes like peanut butter and jelly. All right. It's one of the classic all-time combinations. I agree. Goes together like protein powder and yogurt. All right. Christine writes, can you remind me how much a cloud weighs? Zero. Nothing. It's a fucking cloud. It's floating. It's a million pounds. It's floating. I'd put my life on that. The mass is one million pounds. There's no way it's anything other than zero. If anything, it's negative. Probably. If it's floating. The rain, what does the rain weigh? Fucking nothing? Rain falls. I don't, I'm serious though. Clouds heavy and fall. How does it, I don't understand how it weighs a million pounds. It's a, isn't it a billion? A billion. Whatever. I forget too. The answer, I believe, is one billion pounds. A cloud. But it's a, every cloud is one billion. We should really do like a segment of like the facts that you just won't believe. Like I watched, there was a, there was a dinosaur documentary on Netflix that Spielberg produced. I watched, there was four episodes. I watched the first one. In it, they talk about in the prehistoric age. You didn't watch all of them? Well, I watched the first one. It was good, but I don't know. I learned, I learned a fact in there that at one point in time on this planet, it once rained for one million years straight. And then it stopped. It rained for one million years, straight. Everywhere? The whole world. The whole world. It rained. How do you, how do you check that? Fossils? I don't know. I trust Spielberg, I think. I'm going to, I'm going to take him by his word. A million years it rained. So maybe Cleveland's not so bad. Even in Siberia? God. There are some facts. My version of that fact that you just, I just don't believe you. Is there like people, I've read this in many places that there are more QR codes possible than there are atoms in the universe. No way. There's no fucking way that that's true. Isn't there something like that with a deck of cards? Yeah. Combinations, yeah. You guys know the fact, I don't remember it. Yeah, so 52 times 51 times 50 times 49 is more than atoms in the universe. It's more than a million years. There's no way that that's true. It rained for a million years. I like how it's such a round number. One million years. Give or take a couple tens of million, you know. It might be a little more believable if we add in like a few other numbers. One million years it rained and then it stopped. You're right. It is suspicious. One million and 17? I don't know. Was it 952,000 years? No, it was a million. All right, next one here. Are we doing millennial bangers? What are we doing? Oh, yeah, sorry. What do you got? What do you got? Yeah, no, I mean, fuck these labels. No, the last one here, Jacob. Yeah, let's do it. Jacob. Nothing for breakfast. I had three slices of Detroit pizza last night and that I'm still carrying with me this morning. In his pocket. That never gets talked about. It's true. How late do you have to eat late night food that's kind of breakfast? Yeah, yeah. Jacob writes, what's the best hot food to eat cold or the best cold food to eat hot? I mean, hot food to eat cold. Pizza is pretty good. I mean, it's kind of a. Yeah, that's the classic. Classic answer. Someone said Chinese food. Chinese food was great. Yep, that's good. What's a good cold food to eat hot? Ice cream. Cold food to eat hot. Ice cream. I don't even know how that works. It's a hot cup of ice cream. It's like a fucking cloud. You can heat it up. Honestly, I kind of. I mean, beach ham is pretty great. Oh, cheese. Cheese. But like cheese is kind of. You guys want more ham? You barely touched your ham. Cold ham heated up is good. You barely touched. Turkey? Not much. I don't know. This is a tough one. It's a good question, Jacob. All right. Get back to you on that one. millennial bangers well i think i think we have to thank some people here oh right sure um thank you to everybody all serious just thank you to everyone i know it's i just have ham in my hand and i just said in all seriousness can you take a man with a ham in his hand seriously i guess yeah i guess the hand the ham really takes away from the seriousness but in all seriousness like thank you for coming this microphone's gonna be so goddamn greasy uh spielberg next week's gonna be like why does it smell like ham smells like beach ham but thank you to everyone for coming this is so awesome like thank you to everyone for showing up thank you very much uh there are so many people that it takes to put on something like this like i mean thank you to elizabeth thank you to austin thank you need to kill thank you abu carlos cameron charlie helen jack wilson sarah donald nick everyone here at the fonda thank you everyone here at the fonda thank you to verizon yeah thank you to the person who gave us a book on extreme ironing yeah that guy and then also cinema scratch offs this was just fucking awesome thank you guys so much we really appreciate it um we really like it's the coolest thing ever to be able to do this and it is actually mind-blowing to see all of you like come out it's the best and i don't think we would do the beach ham thing again but everything else i hope you had fun um toss it like a bouquet just like throw it once we're gonna smell like ham if you come and take the photo so be prepared uh but with that said i don't think there's anything i can say that we need to go out of we need i need the chorus one more time should i leave my computer we'll just walk out that's great yeah all right cool you you you you you you you you you you you must be 21 plus and present in select states for kansas in affiliation with kansas star casino or 18 plus and present in dc kentucky or wyoming gambling problem call 1-800 gambler or 1-800 my reset call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in connecticut or visit md gambling help.org in maryland hope is here visit gambling helpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24 7 support in massachusetts or call 1-877-8 hope and y or text hope and y in new york for louise hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save i want to date with rules carty says rules rocker ass this is the love story of real hinge couple carty and rocker written and read by me nicola dynan listen to the free audiobook now