The Paul Rudd Episode

♪ ♪ ♪ Pa-run! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ He's a stud and not a pug ♪ A pug, like. ♪ Stud and not a pug ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ We love our friend ♪ ♪ Those looks will always get you out of the mud ♪ Those looks? I don't think Pa-run is, like. Shh, that's not even good. You with us? - - Yeah. - Is everything okay? - No, but it's fine. - What happened? - It doesn't matter. Well, whatever your situation is, could it improve with a mango-pineapple refresher from the McCafe at McDonald's? It would have to be very delicious. You ever get a text? It feels like he got a text - and just was like. - He was sucked. - Something bad happened. - You were sucked into the vortex of your screen right there. - It worked. The bulb was worked. - So it's good. Did you know it has caffeine? - I heard. - It was just a light amount of caffeine. Just the right. We don't even have to oversell this thing, even though I do think it's really underappreciated - how good the drinks are at McDonald's. - So good. Me, you, Paul, skydiving. - No. - Why? - You won't go on an airplane. - Yeah, what kind of. I would go on the airplane. I'm not scared of going on the airplane. I love roller coasters. I love all of that. - I don't understand what you're talking about. - What are you talking about? I don't like being in the air for an extended period of time, but just going up 9,000 feet, getting. Jumping out of an airplane. - Are you kidding? - I swear I would do it. You would crack your skull. - I'm not going to crack my skull. - I know the way you're built, I think that your body would topple because it's so front. - I'm not going to crack my skull, Jeff. - You think he's front-loaded? - I think he's front-loaded. - You have a lot of hair and a big head. I'm going to put this stuff away. You don't want to leave one for Paul? - No, well. - I know you like it tidy. I know. I like it tidy. He's doing it for me. - Look. - I'm the one that has to clean. I'm just worried about how I'd look with a cracked skull. You're not going to crack your skull. But I don't believe that you'd ever actually do it. You'd probably have a hard dome, if I had to guess. You have a dome. Do you know if your finger. If you were to bite down on your finger, you could bite right through your finger the same way you'd bite through a carrot. What? Don't do it, don't do it. Just crack your skull instead. Why would you bite your finger off? - Get it out of your mouth. - You could try it. - Yeah. - Guys, oh, my God. Talk about. - Hey! - You ever had your skull cracked, Paul? Talk about cracking a skull. No, I've never cracked my skull. Well, today, let me tell you, it's going to happen. - America's sweetheart. - Wanderlust. I love you, man. Our idiot brother. - Blueless. - Friendship. He's hot and funny and sweet. If you ever get mad, and you better pray it's a water gun. You've made me cry multiple times. Would you say that that's one of your biggest regrets? It's definitely a regret. When did you get hot? He was probably born attractive. No, what do you mean? He was the sexiest man alive. - No, he wasn't. - Yes, he was. That's debatable, but. Did you win a thing that was sexiest man alive? He was in the same thing I was in. - Oh, you didn't win. - We were both in the same issue. - Yeah, you didn't win. - We were? - No, we weren't. - I don't know. I thought it was a joke when I found out. Mine, I think, was a joke. I don't think that. No disrespect. I think you're very handsome. I don't think that his success is based on him being a hot guy. Like, I wouldn't call Paul Rudd a hot guy. No disrespect. I mean, you're so handsome. - No, no, he's known as a heartthrob. - He's known as that. Yeah, you. Wake up. - Are you known as a heartthrob? - News to me. I gotta tell you two things. One, Selena had the biggest crush on him when she worked with him. And I started thinking, he's the worst guy for your girl to leave you. Because, like, he's hot and funny and sweet and. Stop looking at me. - And it. - Sorry. - This is. - It's a lot. You're known as a hot guy now, right? - Yes. - Okay. - I don't think so. - I can speak for you as the public. I would say that you're America's sweetheart. Well, that's a different thing. I don't know how I landed on this. When I first started losing weight, I was looking for, like, a diet plan or something. I remember looking online, and he popped up. And it was him in, like, men's health, like a six-pack. That was a fluky thing. For about six minutes. Hell yeah. Because of the Marvel stuff. - You got a six-pack now? - No. How'd you get it? By cutting out anything enjoyable in my life for about a year. A year? Well, it's. And I kept. Yeah, I mean, I stopped. It was an interesting thing to have a real regimen for the first time in my life as an adult. Like, most people that really get into great shape, they're just. They are. They're genetically predispositioned to look. Were you natural when you did it, or you were juicing? No, I was totally natural. Steroids? Yeah, I'm not juicing. You weren't juicing. Clearly not juicing. Wait, so what did you even eat? Like, 'cause I. I had a lot of fish. I had a lot of salmon. Yeah, I'm predisposed to be mushy, too. This is where it gets kind of bad, and it messes with your head. And that when you are in it, like, when you've really done it, and you've gotten in great shape, and you've worked out, and you feel good, and you really feel like, "My clothes fit differently, and I don't. " You feel good. And when you've had that for a while, and then you lose that. Yeah. And you just drift away. It really messes with your head. Yeah, yeah. And so. You're in the losted face. Now I'm completely body dysmorphic. I really have strong reactions if I'm feeling just like, "Ugh." Yeah. So I always try and adhere to some version. Although I find it impossible. But don't you own a candy store? Yeah. And I love. You're like me. You love candy. Yeah, I know. Me and him, we were at this dinner, and we were sitting right next to each other. And there was candy. And I think we were both, A, a teeny bit nervous, and B, obsessed with candy. And we couldn't stop. Everyone else was like, "Take it or leave it with the candy." Me and him were fighting over the last bits of candy. And then that's when I found out he had a candy store. Do you have a lot of cavities? I didn't really. I had a couple of cavities when I was younger. You know what my dentist's name is? What? Dr. Tooth. No, it's not O. No, it's really. It's Dr. Toth. But I call him Dr. Tooth. It's one O missing. That's what I told him. I said. Was it Dr. Teeth in the Muppets? Wasn't it? Yeah, exactly. I go every year, once a year. I go every three months because I don't love flossing. Let me tell you. I never flossed my whole life. Yeah, I use it. Yeah, the sticks are great. The floss sticks existing, and they're just like around my desk. Yeah. I'm flossing like. My dentist was blown away at the flossing. Yeah. I said, "I guess I do floss a lot." I do an oral rinse. I'm real high. Yeah. Same, but flossing. Oh, you put that stick in between. It is cool. When you put the stick in between, does the thing smell bad? I never smell it. No one smells it. I don't have a smell test. What do you mean no one smells it? You're not supposed to smell it. Does it? Clearly, it stinks. Yeah, I think it stinks. It's like rotting. If you did it right now, it stinks. Don't do it. Wait, the toothpick end of it? No, not the toothpick. It stinks. It takes the scum out of his teeth. It stinks. No, now it stinks. Is it used? No, it will stink. Won't it? It will stink. It will stink. Put it in the back once and really dig in. I think this might be mint flavored, though. It doesn't matter. Dig in. It grosses me out. Dig in. Really, dig in to a few different ones. I floss. No problem. That's why your breath stinks. Not yours. I'm saying that's why people's breath smells. My breath smells. People's breath smells. In the morning, I have terrible halitosis. Do you do? I don't think that's uncommon. Does it stink? Okay, I don't know. I have a bad sense of smell. I smell nothing. Here, have her smell it. No, I'm not smelling. I don't like to do that. No, I can't. I can't. That's not a game I like to play. I can't. Don't smell. No. This is a used. Well, look at this. Look at what you pulled out. Don't smell it. Don't smell it. All of a sudden. A long time ago, he made Ed Sheeran smell his belly button, and he almost passed out. Look at what's on the thing. It grosses me out. It's so gross. His belly button stinks. I close my eyes. I can see it. My fault. No, no. We don't have to smell it. You have nice teeth for not doing a lot. Yeah, you do. You look great. Thanks, guys. You look great. You do. You know, we were talking about it. He started getting some grays in his beard, and he said, "I'm going to have to dye these for my next movie." Then I said, "When do people start dyeing?" Are we allowed to talk? Do you dye your hair? No. No way. Wow. He's the ageless man. No, and I have gray in my hair. Are you the ageless man? I feel like I have a little. He is dyeing your hair. You don't see a little hair? No. Wow. I was certain. Another fun fact about you. Do you know this about yourself? You're the ageless man. The internet says you do not age, and I don't think you do. You can move that cookie box. You keep staring at it. I know. Here's the thing. I just keep going back for a pinball machine. Sure. You want to sit on the couch? Let's go. This is the nerves thing. I find standing to be unsettling. I'm going to take my coat off. He broke the mic trying to figure it all out. Paul, are you like me where. Because I think you come off as a really good extrovert. You come off like that, and I think I come off as an extrovert. I actually have. I get so nervous in certain situations, but when I get home, I'm pooped from putting on and trying to do it. Are you like that? I think in some ways, but when I first met you, I noticed that right away. You were so open and gregarious and really sweet, but isn't that the thing about extroverted people that really. Yeah. It's almost like an overcompensation to get over their insecurity or introvertedness. Yeah. I feel like outside, if I meet someone in the street, they're expecting a version of myself that's the best version of myself. If I meet someone in the street and I'm just like, "Hey, what's up?" I want to give that person- The classic thing. Yeah, like a really good, like I want to, like when, you know, when someone walks by and they're like, I love you, man, or something, or they come up and they slap or hug me or something, and I, and. You want to get down on your knees and go. No, no, no, I just want them to have like, no, I want them to have a good moment because like I know like those moments, they mean so much to people. And like, I remember when I, when I would do meet and greets before concerts and I would try to, you know, like, you know, sometimes you can get away with doing the lowest lift version of the meet and greet, which is like, hi, like, let's meet, do a picture, gone. And like, I did the opposite. And I was, I just remember one time, I forget, I think it was in Utah. And I just remember I was, and I was losing my voice on the tour. And I just remember I was talking to this couple about like what I'm looking for, like romantically and like how I was struggling finding it. And then like, I talked for like a minute straight and then I finished and they were like. Picture? And like, they didn't, like. They didn't care, they wanted the picture. Yeah, yeah. That's what they're there for. Wait, do you ever, I don't see you as a guy, do you ever get mad? Oh God, yeah. You got a temper? Of course. You do? Yes. Really? What was the last thing you got really mad about? I could never even see it. And I get really mad. I'll get like, there are sometimes. How could you ever be mad? He's been mad in movies. He's played mad well. Well, that's not, that's not real. Well, I mean, I try to get mad in like settings like this. Yeah. But. But you get mad. You have a temper? Oh, of course. I don't even see you. Do you? No, I don't have a temper. You don't? You get snappy. No, no, but I don't have a temper. He doesn't have a temper. I do not have a temper. Neither do you. None of us have a. I have a temper. You have a temper. Really? For sure. Of course. No, I would not, I would not. She has a temper. Really? What did you say? Like I never, like I never yell. She doesn't yell. Yeah. You do yell sometimes. I feel like sometimes I maybe suppress some of that stuff so much because, you know, you want to be pleasant. Oh. And that when one thing happens and I can get a little psycho about it. Yeah. And even like my wife would say like, calm down. Yeah. It can be a little scary. Believe it or not. You like justice. Yes, there's justice. You want the justice. I don't like it when people aren't decent. Yeah. Yeah. I have to tell you two car things that just happened to me or that happened to me a long time ago. Chuck, I've never. It's okay. It doesn't matter. You don't even drive. I've never told you these incidents and I don't know if I've ever really told anyone these incidents. Okay. Number one, very quick one. I'm maybe 18, 19. I'm in New York. I'm living in New York City. There's a restaurant called Cafe Jeton. It's in Soho. I'm on Spring and Mott. Oh, my God. I remember Cafe Jeton. Yeah. Or Prince and Mott. Wherever the fuck I am. It's right there. And I'm in a yellow cab. Okay. This is back when it's like yellow cabs. And I'm like, I'm like, this guy's driving so fast, my cab driver. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no. It's right here on the left. And I'm like, no, no, sir, sir, sir. And you know how like when they drive like so quickly sometimes. And I'm like. Right. Right. It's right here. And then like as he like, he like finally starts to slow down. And I go like this. And like he's like just slowing down. He's like in the middle of the road. And I open up my door like to get out. And as I do it, another, I'm about, it's a, just one thought away from me just stepping out. I open my door and another cab goes like this. And it goes. And my door goes flying off. The whole door goes off. And like the cab driver's like, holy shit. And he like comes out. And then he was like. He was like, you have to wait. You have to wait right now. And I said, well, I'm late to this lunch. And you pulled over in a weird spot. I wasn't even looking. I'm late to this lunch. And I tried to get you to do the thing. He said, no, you have to, you have to wait. You're paying for this thing. And I was like, I, I was like, sir, I got to go to this. And I'm like, it was like such an important meeting. I still even remember the meeting. And I'm like sitting there. I'm surprised that doesn't happen more in New York. Who is that? And I, and I go. And then I said, I said, well, when the cops get here, just send them to my table. And then, and then it all worked. It all worked out. Big shot. No, no, no. Cause it was, my table was right. I was, I was literally, it was eating outdoors. I'm at the meeting. And it was like, I was running late for the meeting. And it was like the biggest meeting of my career at the time. I still remember the meeting. That's a good look. It was with Baz Luhrmann and Sia. It was like, it's such an important meeting for me. Those were good people to have the cops walk up to and be like, hey. But you also come in, you're in a different headspace. And you kind of come in with an amazing story. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just took the door off. Okay, now the craziest time that happened to me, I'm in New York City. And I never, I don't really get a temper, but I'm walking across the street. And this cab, I have the right of way. It is my right of way. I'm on the walk. And it's like the thing where like, it's like, it's the very beginning of my, of when the walk light turns. So it's like, if you were like running a red light, you would have just like tried to go through. He almost hits me. Like, I like. Like, jump out of the way. Like, I actually have to jump out of the way. And I say, and I stand up. And I go, and everyone sees it. It's crazy. Like, the guy is fully at fault. I go, I go, fuck you, you piece of shit. And I, and I, and the guy's driving. And he goes, and he stops the car in the middle of the thing. And he goes, and starts going backwards. And I'm like, and this guy gets out of the car and he's huge. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, what? What's going to happen to me now? Like, I, like, I thought I was just going to be like, you asshole. And he drives away. The guy gets out and he starts full-blown chasing me. Wow. Full speed. Leaves his car in the middle of the street. And he's like, he's like, he like looks like the Terminator. And I'm so scared. I'm running. I'm running. That's crazy. What a turn of events. The man chases me into a bodega. And it gets to the point where I'm going like this. I'm taking things and throwing them off the thing. I'm running. And I go, call the police. Call the police. This man's chasing me. And like, it gets to the point where like, we're like, he's like where you are, but there's like a thing between us. And I'm like, and I'm like, call the police. Call the police. And the guy's like, I'm going to fucking kill you. And we're like, I don't even know. I still don't even know what his rationale was. Yeah, that's intense. And it was, it was so scary. And like the people helped me and they kicked him out. And I was, and like for days I was scared. I was like, am I going to like run into this man again? McDonald's mango pineapple refresher. Which I love. And I'm not just saying this. I truly love this. And I'm going to keep saying it. I'm going to keep saying it over and over. I actually love all of these. I love this one a lot. Well, sometimes are you just saying it? No. No. I actually never say it. You're always sincere. I'm always sincere. She won't speak like this if it's not real. Yeah, I won't do it the ad. She's been excited to do this one. Can I tell you guys something? I need you to. Maybe. Listen. Did you hear it? No. Did you feel it? No. I felt. There was a small boba shooting up a straw, exploding into my mouth. I mean, look, you got to look at this drink like a reset. Maybe a reward. Maybe it's even a way to get through this. Do you want to know why? It's a reason to hang with friends. And it also contains caffeine. Try all the new McCafe drinks now at McDonald's. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Benny, what's something that therapy has taught you about yourself? You know, I really think therapy gave me like a little like mental toolbox of how I can understand myself as I'm having a panic attack, as I'm going through those moments where I really don't know. I feel like my life is ending and there's no way I can understand myself. There's no other way I can get around it. And then I have this little toolbox. It's like, calm down, take a step back, assess the situation. Everything happens within the time that it's supposed to. And I just have all these little like voices now in the back of my head that tell me the right thing of what to do in each moment. I love that. If you want to start your therapy journey today, sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash FKS. That's BetterHelp.com slash FKS. I think that and I in my as I've grown old, or I've realized this isn't remotely incest. And actually, it's really good writing. What? But Clueless. Yeah. Oh, you want to talk about Clueless? Clueless is incest. No, it's not. It's not incest. No, it's not. It's not incest. This was always a thing in that in that movie. It impacted my child brain and the way I was like, oh. I was her stepbrother. I saw Clueless. Ex-stepbrother. That was like pre the whole stepbro porn stuff. Oh, I don't even know about that. It is a pretty, it was a pretty bold choice for Amy Heckerling. But they were. I think the fact that our parents weren't married or it was like she at one point, my mother in Clueless, my mother had been married to Dan Hedaya for a while. And then they got divorced. So there was a moment in time where we were stepbrother and sister, but we weren't blood related. And we were, but, but that was a, that was a talking point for sure. And I know people still say like, that's weird. You weren't, you were her brother. I'm like, you've been in so many important movies. I, I don't even know to everyone else. Like, because like, it was like perfect for my childhood. More than childhood. Yeah. Cause I don't think there's. How old are you? 56. Okay. So it's. We've like grown up with your entire career. There's nothing, by the way, I have, uh, well, I'm very, thank you. Uh, there's, it's weird when I meet somebody who I assume is just kind of a peer. And they say. I think there's a peer. And they either, oh, thank you. I do. Uh, and I, you, all of you. Yeah. Um, I'm not, I'm 50 years older than you. You don't have to say it. But, uh, when I meet. When I meet somebody and they're like, oh my God, I grew up watching you. I was a little kid when I said that. I was like, how old are you? Or the words that my mom loves you. I get that. Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. No, you were like our. He's not, not was. Like, to me. He doesn't say our age. Like, you were our age group. You are our age. I'm not really. I know, but you represent our age. By the way, you're very, you're very. He's not our age. You're not our age. I'm not. I'm not. You're not at all. Not even close. Not at all. And, and not, you're so kind. I don't mean that you're actually our age, but I mean, you, I guess. He represents the comedy male adult for us in entertainment. It's funny, you know, when, when I was kind of growing up, it was the John Hughes movies. Like, Sixteen Candles. and Pretty in Pink and Breakfast Club and all that. And when we had done a table read of Clueless, hadn't shot anything yet, but it had all been cast, and we were all kind of new. That was the first thing I really had done. I remember we were all talking afterward about, it's been a while since there's been a movie about a bunch of high school kids, and we grew up with all those John Hughes movies. Wouldn't it be cool if this thing turned out to be something like that, that last? Never really thinking that would be the case, but it became the movie. - It is certainly-- - You've been in all the movies. - I've been in all of them. - You've been in all the movies. No, Blake, I'm saying-- - You've probably been in more classic movies for our-- - Classic comedy movies for our generation than any single human being. I don't think that's an exaggeration. - I don't think it is either. - I think it's like you-- - Which is crazy. - You and like you, Seth. - No, but he's before, you're before, he's-- - Yeah, yeah, before Seth. - Seth wasn't in Clueless? - No, no, no. - Yeah, all the Judd stuff, yeah. - I have a question. - Sure. - Do you think, like, could you play in like, if like, if someone came to you and they're like, we really want your like, Daniel Day-Lewis moment, like, could you play like a British man in like 1930? Like, do you think you have it in you? - I would like to think so. You know, it's, like, I went to acting school, and I have played different kinds of parts in plays more than movies, but, you know, when you're starting off, you always think, oh, I can be a chameleon, and I can do everything, and I don't want to get pigeonholed. And when I was starting, I really, you know, thought, oh, this is exactly the kind of career that I want. I mean, Daniel Day-Lewis is clearly the greatest. - Oh, yeah. - But I loved actors that were-- - Like Christian Bale. - So different in each thing, you know, amazing. And I think that the parts that I was getting cast for, and I think we're all, yeah, they kind of fell out. I think we're all, yeah, they kind of fell out. Clueless, or-- - I loved you in Friendship, or whatever it's called. - Oh, Friendship. - Yeah. - Well, Tim Robertson is the greatest, isn't he? So funny. - I saw it twice. The toad scene, when he's, yeah, when he's on Toad. It's so funny. - Do you think you would take a role that's so different now? - Well, it's always fun to play, like, kind of dick, you know, like, not nice characters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Put me in these roles of, like, just nice people, but, like, to play somebody that's-- - You want to play the rage. - Well, you play it by being really nice, and you see the end, and then we start, then we start getting into some real three-dimensional stuff. - Yeah. - I thought it was really cool. I thought it was really interesting, though. Like, I feel like that was a leap to do, like, 'cause-- - Friendship? - Friendship is like, it was like, it was a small-- - I don't think it was a leap. - No, but, like, it was a small movie. We worked with the guy who did it. - Andy Day-Young. - Yeah. - Oh, he's great. - Yeah, and it's, and I think it was really cool. I remember, I remember when I first saw it, I was like, oh my God, that's so awesome, 'cause it was like a, it wasn't like one of these big, like, $50 million movie. It was really cool, and I like, I thought when I first saw that you were in that, I was like, oh my God, that's so cool, that, like, you'll jump all over the map and do something that's like, something that's like a super small budget, just because you probably read the script and thought it was awesome. - That's what happened, and I loved him. - Yeah. - No, that, you know, I have been fortunate in that I've had a long career, absolutely, and, but it really wasn't until the Marvel stuff that I was in big movies. Even the Judd comedies, those were the first things. - Those were big. - That, but that kind of became big. - Clueless. - It wasn't that big, really, at the time. - It wasn't? - I think you're in such big movies. - And those movies, like, you know, Judd's movies or the comedies, they kind of broke out, but that was, no one ever thought that was gonna be the case. They weren't big budget films. They were kind of, all the, studios, they're making all this stuff. It's like, all right, we'll let these guys do this. - Yeah. - You know, weird thing, and we was, and it was, they were fun to do because it felt like we were working on an indie movie, in a sense. It was a weird thing to actually get into something that's so global, like Marvel. - Yeah. - Which is why I was, that was obviously the first time I ever got in shape. I never had to do that for any of the other things. - I couldn't imagine. - You know what movie I love that I can't believe? - Most underrated movie of all time? - Yeah, he showed it to me. I hadn't seen it until, like, what, three years ago? - What? - The most underrated comedy ever. - I think it's underrated. I think it's huge. I don't think it's huge. - What's, "Wonderlust"? - Oh my God, I love that. - Oh, wow. - I had not seen it in so, I've never seen it. - It is so funny. - And I love, I talk about it still. I say it's, like, my new favorite movie, even though it's not new. - Which is the movie? - It's the one right in the mirror. - That's the one where you're like, "My dicko." - Yeah. - Do you know, me and my friends did that for years. - Oh my God. - Yeah, we, we, it, love that. - It's the best movie. - That's such a good movie. - And then, I also liked that movie so much. I don't think it's that movie. I think it's "Our Idiot Brother," or something. The one where, like, you play, like, the, for some reason, that movie makes me cry. Like, it, like, it, it, you've made me cry multiple times. - That's a heartbreaking one. I, I like that, that character. - Yeah, I love that. - And then, by the way, that's, you know, Jesse Perez did that movie. - Yeah. - And "Wonderlust" is David, David Wayne. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And Ken Reno, like, those guys are the greatest. - Oh, yeah. - And they're really good friends of mine. - Yeah. - But, um. - I love "Our Idiot Brother." - But "Idiot Brother" was really, you know, it's 'cause it was, like, fun to play a character who, who, uh, he just, like, can't pull it together. - Had no ulterior motives. - I haven't seen it. - And you saw the best in everybody. - Yeah, I know. - And then, oh, you realize, I guess, he gets, like, arrested. - I haven't seen it. - It's kind of heartbreaking. - Yeah, oh, it's really good. - Don't tell me I need to end it. - You got any other hobbies? - No. - God, hobbies? You have anything? What, what's your hobby? - I don't know. - You don't know. - That's a question. No, yeah. - What do you mean, you don't know? - No, because whenever there's time to do anything. - You have family. - I just wanna sit. - Yes. - I don't wanna do, I don't watch shows. - You don't watch shows? - I don't like, I mean, not really. - What do you do? - I like doing crossword puzzles. - What do you do? You're off, you're off. What are you doing? - What am I doing if I'm, if I'm not working? - Yeah. - Yes. - Sometimes, do you find this, when you're not working, sometimes you're just the busiest with just stuff? - Yeah. - I'm not good at kind of, I'm going to devote an hour. I'm gonna go through everything I need to do. I'm gonna free my day. I don't operate like that. I find that when I get overwhelmed with things, I tend to just shut down. And so, if I have any time, I just wanna sit down and look at. - The wall? - Of the wall. I don't wanna do, somebody was like sit. - I just see you at home studying. - I was having like a conversation, and people are like, what's your perfect day? - Yeah, what is your perfect day? - I don't wanna see a person. - Yeah. - I don't wanna do, I don't wanna, my perfect day is, I have no, - Responsibility. - None. - Yeah. - No responsibility. - Not even speaking to anyone. - Nope. - Yeah. - I just, I just want, I wanna be in a, in a, just like a, kind of a, like a cold, dark room. - There's a different side of you. - I know, I know what your perfect day is. - Or a nice sunny beach, like when you're looking at water, like I like that. - I know what your exact perfect day is. - Why don't you tell 'em what his perfect day is? - A sawed off shotgun. - Oh. - You know, gift giving is never easy. - No, it's so hard for me. - Until now. - Tell me more. - Canva. Put a picture in there, turn it into a coffee mug. Canva will design like a coffee mug based off the picture. It'll lay out some cool, like, or like a, you know, there's plenty of options with Canva. - You know what we should do? We should take our wedding photos. - Yeah. - Upload it, prompt it to make it like in the perfect place. - Yeah, what item? What item would you like from our wedding photos? - I love the-- - Coffee mug or something? - Flap. - Yeah, coffee, I love coffee mugs. - Well, we'll use Canva and make a coffee mug form. Canva makes design easy for anyone. With built-in AI that lets you remove, generate, and animate content in just a click. Start designing today at canva.com. How you guys been sleeping lately? - Pretty great, now. - Now? - Yeah. - Since you got the Helix Midnight Luxe? - Yeah. - I, you know we have Helix. - Oh boy, do I know. - So, this is not hard for us. We literally lay our bodies down on these Helix. - We tested a lot of mattresses. - Is the plural of Helix, Helixes, or Heli, like, what is it? - Consider me Felix, 'cause I love Helix. - Go to helixsleep.com. - Slash FKS for 27% off site-wide. - That's helixsleep.com/FKS for 27% off site-wide. And this is important. After you check out, enter FKS so they know we sent you. Because we did. - We sent you. We're sending you right now. - helixsleep.com/FKS. - I have a confession to make. I'm in love with Paul Rudd. And you know what two guys do when there's a connection? They go on a date. They have a bromance. They take one ice-cold white claw each, and they cheers them to the highest level because they just know that they're bros. They know that they love each other. And they know that they want to move things forward in a direction. And what's a better way than over a few white claws? Is that cottage cheese? I wonder if he likes cottage cheese. Paul, you eat cottage cheese? - I don't. I was just thinking about it. I'm not offering you any. I was just, yeah. - Were there any muffins? I brought some muffins. - You know, I don't, I've never eaten cottage cheese. - I started later in life. - You did. - I did. - What's a food that you discovered later in life? - This is an interesting-- - I just told you, cottage cheese. - Well, cottage cheese for you. - Baked potato. - Oh, that's one of my favorite things in the world. - You didn't have baked potatoes until later in life? - I didn't, but there's a man. Yeah, hello? - I don't know. I don't understand. - Mm. - It's rarer than a man. - I just ordered some baked potatoes and cottage cheese. - Do you like baked potato? Do you like baked potato? - I think he realized he's maybe in the wrong place. - No. - I love a baked potato. - Okay. - Baked potato, yeah. - What's a thing you found later in life? - Very late. - Brussels sprouts. - Ew. - You like 'em or you don't? - I love 'em. - It's just 'cause they weren't cooked right. - And also, Brussels sprouts and avocados. - Oh, you didn't like avocados? - You didn't have avocado? - Avocados? - Growing up, I never had avocados. - Avocados are new for me, too. - What's your favorite food? Like, what's your go-to thing? - My favorite food? - Like, dying, you have one meal. You're dying right now, you have one meal. - I mean, look, I love French fries. - I love French fries. - You love French fries. - That's your, you're dying? - I think so. - French fries? - No, I mean, as I do it, like-- - Really? - I mean, no, it's like, oh, you can have pizza, or you can have, like, there's lots of things. - Yeah, you like, like-- - Pizza and French fries? - You like steak. - Are you six years old? - I love steak. - And, like, a burger? - I love pizza. - I love a burger. - What about grilled chicken sandwich with, like, melted cheese? - Yeah, but I don't need the cheese. It's weird. - Oh, wait, I'm like, mayonnaise? - I hate mayonnaise. - Ethiopian food? - Ethiopian food, sure, yeah, I'd eat that. - Thai food? - Yeah. - No pasta, no Italian food? - I love pasta. - Yeah. - Are you kidding me? - That's all I would eat. - You ever been pulled over? - Pulled over? Have I ever been pulled over? - Have you ever been arrested? - One time when I was, or two times when I was a teenager, one time I was in a car, I was riding shotgun, and my friend, Mike was driving, and we had water guns, and there was a car next to us, our friends, they had 'em too, we were just having water guns. - Rascals. - They were just, we were just being rascals. And we were shooting at each other, and a cop pulled us over. - Thinking they were real guns? - Well, I don't know, this cop was-- - Grudge numbers. - Super psycho. Anyway, he pulled us over, our friends kept going, so Mike pulls over and has a gun trained on us. - Oh my god. - And he comes walking around the side, and he says, "All right, boy, slowly, real slowly, "hand over that water gun, and you better pray "it's a water gun." And I have, he has a gun on me. - I'm like, 16? - And so we both had 'em, and anyway, I gave him the gun, and Mike gave him his gun. He wrote both of us up, and he gave Mike a ticket for reckless driving, and he cited, he gave me an accomplice to reckless driving. He said, "It was 'cause you swerved into another lane." I was like, "What, no, we weren't." But anyway, maybe he was just trying to teach us a lesson. I don't really know what the thing was, but I had to go to, I wound up having to go to a court for that, and then the other time is I was in college, my freshman year, and-- - Killed someone. - I was, I killed someone. Killed someone. And that was, let me tell you something. That was hard to get, that was hard to get out of. I didn't ever technically, technically get out of it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But-- - What happened freshman year? - It's still a pain in the ass. I was, I was in Lawrence, Kansas, hanging outside of a bar called The Bull, and I had a Sapporo, like a fancy can of it, and I was kind of new to drinking. I'll be honest with you, and I, cops came around, and I was, I was underage, and so I just like-- - You dumped it. - I dumped it. And I got in the car, and they pulled this over, and he goes, he had a beer. - Oh. - And I was like, was that yours? I was like, oh, yeah, I wasn't drinking it, though. I think I gave him like the dump, I'm like, oh, I was holding it, but I wasn't drinking it. I don't even know, it was something ridiculous. But then I had to go to court, and I wasn't technically in arrest, I guess, but I did have to go do community service and work at a Boys and Girls Club. - How was that experience? - That was probably fun. - No. - What? - You think you could-- - It was, by the way, it was kind of a rough Boys and Girls Club, and they had boxing. Like, one of the things they did to these kids is like let them just-- - Like beat the shit out of you. - Pummel each other, yeah. And there was like one other kid, they had taped out on the floor, like the ring, and these kids, they had like these big, kind of old school, huge boxing gloves, and they would all just wail at each other, and then another kid who was like a counselor, was a really sweet, kid, he was probably about 15 years old, about as big as my pinky, and he was, but he was like really nice, really shy, really quiet, and all the kids, one time they were doing this, they said, "You guys should, you guys go, "the counselor, like you guys fight each other." I'm like, "No, I'm not gonna fight this kid. "Not gonna do it." They're like, "Come on, do it, do it." So, this kid's like not saying anything, so we got our gloves and we stand there, and I'm standing there like towering over this little kid. - Here, you want me to stand up to you? - Yeah, you stand up, like, all right, here we go. - Okay. - All right, here we go. Wham, wham, the kid kicked my ass. - Really? - Did he hit you? - I'm like, "Oh!" - Oh yeah. - And I'm like, "Oh, I guess this is on," and I'm, I don't think I'd ever boxed. - Yeah. - I'm like, "Where am I?" And he's, and the kids are cheering, and this kid beat the shit out of me. - He hit you in your face? - Oh yeah, yeah, and I'm like, I don't know, you're like, "Oh, I don't know how to do this." Yeah, and he just destroyed you? - You gotta find that kid now. - I think he kinda wiped the floor with me, yeah. - Yeah, but you don't, he's not on your list to hurt. - No, or is he? - I thought, even then, I'm like, that was really funny. - Yeah. Have you ever been punched in the face without someone wearing gloves, like raw fist to the face? - Yeah. - Really? - I mean, it was a little, I mean, like, not often. I think, you know, I never was drawn to that kind of-- - No, I can't believe people fight. - No, it really made me uncomfortable, still does. - Yeah, even thinking, sometimes I have nightmares of like seeing like best friends, like, I have a nightmare where I'm going on an, I'm like with like, you've been there before, Mark's been there, and I'm going on an escalator up, and then below, I see like my best friends get in a fight with like a group of guys, and they're just like getting beaten, and I'm going up the escalator. - Do you ever see movies from your friends and they suck? - A friend of mine just said, one time he said, "I figured out the perfect thing to say," which is go up to him and say, "Oh my God, "I can't tell you how much I love that movie. "It's not a lie." - Wow, I love that. - I can't tell you how much I love that movie. - I have no words. - No words. - What if they go, "Really, which part?" - You go, "Yes." - Oh my God, I mean, all of it. - I can't even, I have no words for any of it. - I don't know, that is an awkward position to be in, for sure, and I'm sure you've been in that situation. I know that I've talked to people, and I know they feel that about something I did, and I'm like, "I get it." - Can you watch yourself? - I mean, I think I can, but I don't really. Usually when it's done, and there's a premiere, and I have to do press, I'll watch it, so I know what it is, but I don't ever really revisit it. - But do you laugh out loud at your own deliveries? Like, for me, when I'm editing my show, that she'll be saying, she can't believe how often I'm just laughing, and then she'll go in, and I'm just watching myself deliver a joke. - Yeah, it's great. I can usually watch something and tell, I'm like, "Okay, that works." - Yeah. - But you don't laugh at, you don't laugh at your own performance? - He's not a psychopath. - No, I don't, do you find, let me ask you this. - Yeah, sure. - Do you feel like you laugh enough in your life? Do you really laugh? - Yeah, I laugh a lot. - You do. - Yeah, you don't. - A lot of his own jokes, too. - We laugh so much with each other. - I've seen them, they're great. - Yeah. - I laugh, too. - We laugh so much with each other, too. - Yeah. - Even with all three of us. - That's a great way to laugh, I mean, when you're, yes, when you're hanging out. - I'd say we laugh more than we don't, like when we're together. - She makes me laugh more than anyone, and so does he. - And Selena makes me laugh, and we're all friends together, and it's like-- - But I am like-- - You laugh a lot. - I laugh a lot, but I would never laugh at myself, but I am shocked that people-- - I've seen you laugh at yourself. - Maybe I have once. You can watch yourself, and if I were you, I'd be like, well, I'm just gonna sit down and pop in an old movie that I liked on myself. - I don't do that. - Yeah. - I don't do that, but you know-- - I don't do that. - I don't do that, but I'm like, no, no, no, no. Hit check. - Yeah? - I love drinking White Claw with my pals. - What about me? - You're one of my pals. - Oh. - I think you're my best girl pal. - You know what? - What? - On that note, I think we should have more nights where we drink White Claw together. - Should we pack a big old ice cold-- - Cooler? - Cooler that we can carry. - Not on our back. Why are you going like this? - Well, I'd like to carry it, and you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to bring it to Michigan for July 4th. I'll see you there. - Well, the good news is you can get it in Michigan and you don't have to put it in a cooler. - Can you say, "Hard seltzer with flavors, "White Claw Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois." - Can you say, "Spontaneous?" - I can. - Guys, it's summertime. We gotta start thinking about our outdoor areas. - I would love to start thinking about our outdoor areas. - Well, we'll-- - Start thinking. - Yeah, I mean, start ordering from Wayfair. - There's one in particular that I sent you. You could just click okay, I'll order it. That one, that cool one. Remember that one that has, like, a little, it's like a cabana. - Yeah, but I already told you I approve and I like it. - You guys are ordering cabanas? - You should have already ordered that. - Why didn't you already order it? - But I will. - You know, I thought about texting you the other day. I said, I was gonna say, "Did you order the Wayfair thing yet?" But I didn't wanna make you feel like-- - Yeah, I appreciate that you didn't do that. - You didn't do it? - No, but it's sitting there. It's in my cart. - Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. - If it's just what you need. - Get to the new side. We're all going, and we do-- I just leaned in right when you did the repositioning. I could taste it a little. - I thought you were coming over to, like-- - I'm sorry. - I thought you were being, like-- - Yeah, to be sweet to me. - That was really nice. I know, I thought you were, like, reaching over to kiss her shoulder. I thought so, too, and then it was just the most feral. But I will, like, I will sometimes kind of flip around or whatever, and I'll see something like Anchorman will come on, and not for me, but I will watch what Will is doing, and I'm like, God damn, he's funny. You're so good at it. Do you think yourself, are you self-critical? Like, do you consider yourself a self-critical person? Can, yeah, can, can be, yeah. Yeah, sometimes I think, like, okay, I don't want to do that again. Do you have a favorite that you've done of your own movies? One of the ones that the experience was just so fun and I think is really sweet is I Love You Man. Because I Love You Man was, like, I remember thinking it was very, very clever, the premise of it, and I hadn't really seen it. I love Jason Segel. I think he's so funny, and I love working with the guy, and it was, it was such a free, you know, experience. It was so free and fun to kind of go back and forth with him, and then John Hamburg, who directed it, was also, you know, just kind of cut from that same hilarious beta male cloth that we all are. I was just thinking. It was just so fun. You have so many classic lines in the movies, too, like iconic lines. Jeb, right? Yeah. What do you call him? Jobin. Jobin. Jobin. Jobin. Jobin. Jobin. Hey, do people. Was that improv? Most of that movie was. Yeah. But it was. I love Jobin. Jobin is such a dumb thing to call a movie. It reminded me of a friend named Greg that, in college, he would, it's so funny, my friend Greg Meter, he would, he used to go, hey, what's up, Shabe? He would call people Shabe. And at one time, I was like, what is Shabe? And he goes, well, it makes really kind of as much sense as dude. So he goes, I just call people Shabe. I like Shabe. I like Shabe. And then he would do things. One of the things that I also loved about Shabe was the way he spelled it, which was S-H-A-Y-E-B. You wouldn't think there's an E in there. Shabe. It was Shabe, but there was an E. And the only reason I knew that is because occasionally, like around the house, I'd be sitting down. I'd look really small, like just on the corner of something that's in pencil, and just say, Shabe. He would just write it places. Where is Shabe now? He's in Colorado. Do you talk to Shabe? Yeah. He's still like one of the funniest people. You would call him Shabe, right? No, he was one of those guys, you know, in college that, you know, and I have another friend named Dave Dorothy, similar, that it was so funny that people kind of would co-opt the stuff that they did. And they were responsible, I feel like, for shaping the senses of humor of a bunch of the guys. Including yourself. Oh, yeah. Do you think Shabe? Wow, Shabe. Do you think if Shabe. Jobin, I don't know if Jobin happens without Shabe. Do you think Shabe could have been an all-star, like, actor if he wanted to? Oh, for sure. I mean, he never wanted to. Or, like, all-star writer. Well, I mean, this is the thing that is certainly the case that, like, I think of most of my friends that I kind of, like, grew up with or went to college with, and they're so funny and so smart. Yeah. And I think, "Oh, they could have absolutely had this kind of career. They just didn't choose to do it." But I think many people fit into this category. And I do think that some of those Apatow movies that people would say, they cut to, like, Jason or Seth Rogen, they're like, "Oh, my God. Those movies, it just reminds me of me and my friends." Oh, yeah. And I would say, like, it's because it is. Yeah. I have no doubt that your friends and you guys would probably be, you know, funnier than we are. Jon Apatow really took, I feel like, comedy wasn't like. Like, he took it and it was, like, a new genre. Like, with all of you guys, it showed, like. He found real people. He made it so human. He made it so human. It was, like, the first time we saw such human, like, improv, I feel like. It used to be, like, more structured before that. And I feel like he was the one that kind of, like, paved the way for so much of, like, the comedy that we grew up with. Oh, you guys were wild. And Will and Adam McKay, too. Oh, yeah. It was a similar. Do you have, like, an opus that you haven't done yet in your life where you're, like, my dream, like, I want to, like. You know, I have, like, a checklist of, like, things I want to do, like, that I'm, like, I haven't done yet. Like, do you have any that is, like, oh, I want to, like, write this movie, or, oh, I want to be in a movie like this, or some shit, or no? Nothing that really is, um. The dark room. That's really. Nothing that really, that really is, like, oh, I really am. I'm going to direct now. And maybe these things are all interesting to me. Yeah. But, um, but I. And I still want to be motivated to do things. Because I think as soon as you stop. Yeah. You just kind of wither and die. So, I don't want to retire. I still love doing what I do. And I'm interested in many things. But I don't, um, I don't have the thing where it's, like, that's what I'm doing. Everything falls to the side. I'm just going to focus on that. I think that's a good way to be. Like, I feel like you're not, like, um. Do you ever get stressed or anxious? Oh, my God. Really? All the time. Oh. Oh, all the time. I would just say you don't seem that way. What is, what is. You seem like kind of. Yeah, what's your biggest stress right now? Is it social or is it, like, logistical? Um, I feel stressed at the state of the world. I feel stressed at the state of. Uh, I feel just the number of people who I. I think I owe phone calls or texts or emails to. People that are, uh, waiting on an answer or something. And I just, I, I, I buckle under it. I feel stress over, um. Uh, uh, starting a press tour. I feel stress of. That seems. I feel stress. I, honestly, I feel stress over most things. And it's all stressful. And then I just, you know, think of all of this through the perspective of my, like, families. Yeah. Yeah. and, and my kids. And I, and I just find. I find all of it. I think I'm stressed way more than I think. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I was making a joke about Antiques, uh, roadshow. Yeah. Yeah. But, um. It's your heroine. It, it is. I like that. I love it so much. I've loved it for. Yeah. I've loved it for ever. Decades. Decades. And, and I think one of the things that I really love about it. I mean, there are many things. I could really get into a whole thing about a while of it. But, um, is the pace of it. The sweet, like. It's a little like the great British bake-off. As they just make. It's like, ugh. It's, it rest. Sometimes can restore your. Yeah. faith and humanity. Yeah. Yeah. And, and also. I agree. it's not about even the appraisals. People are like, "Oh, yeah, you just want to see how much something is." Like, I. It's the monotony. In fact, I'm. It's honestly, it's kind of like the. It's kind of the. Lack of. least interesting. Yeah, yeah. part of the show. I like learning about things. Mm-hmm. And I like learning about. Oh, my God, what. Yeah, what is the history of Limoges? Yeah. Or like a. Oh, wow, a Chesterfield. Okay, so that was built in Philadelphia. This, this, this, this is going to be more valuable than what it was in. A Chesterfield couch. or like, you know, from the 1700s. Yeah. versus, "Wait a minute. Are those the, the original finish?" And this. I. Yeah. And, and people. Or things that have been handed down in people's families that they prize and they treasure, and it's really interesting. Do you know what I mean? I love that part. I love it. I love it. I love seeing the people and their backstories. I cried. I did, too. I cried the other day. I was watching a thing, and it's this thing that specializes just in, like, veterans who bought Rolexes in, like, the, the 50s and. Can you watch it? No, I've seen this clip, but it's top-up. This, this man, he bought a watch for $300, okay? He kept it perfect. He didn't do anything. And they say, "You know, these. " He goes, "Normally, these types of watches, you know, go for $100,000 at the, uh, at an auction." And he's like. And he says. Now, notice I said "normally." He said, "Now, this is a double mint condition. " Wow. Four or five. And he said, "This watch goes for, like, 800 grand." And then he was like, "But. " And then it went, it went to, like, a million dollars, and the guy, like, lost. It made me cry. Oh, yeah. It makes me cry. There's the man who brought in the Navajo blanket, and he's like, "There was no wealth in our family." He's appraised at $250,000. It has now gone up to a million. I've seen an update. Wow. But, uh, uh, originally owned by Tom Mix, but this sweet man who had it his whole life, when he discovered the value, he had no idea, and he started to cry, and I'm a mess. But I've even seen Lark E. Mason, the appraiser that does. Yeah, yeah. I know all their names. I don't know Lark. By the way, have met Simeon Lippin. Oh, you do? And he does a lot of sports appraisals. Simeon Lippin. And a great guy, and sometimes we'll text. Wow. I don't mean to name drop. Do you have any memorabilia? I do. I love collecting historical memorabilia. That's cool. I love all that. I guess that would be kind of a hobby. That is a hobby. That is a hobby. But when someone brought in. So Lark's interest is Asian art and artifacts and historical. Someone brought in like a piece of jade or something, some ancient. I don't remember what it was, and he cried. And I. Because he loved the beauty of the history of it so much. Oh, wow. And in those moments, when I see people just no wall, no pretense, no everything, that are so greatly affected by something beautiful or important or moving in some way, and they're moved, I'm a goner. Yeah. I love it. I love it. And when that happens on that show, I. You love humanity. But you're. I like when. I like goodness. I like when people are good. Yeah. Maybe you'll like this program. He has to leave. I have to go do a. - Another press? - Another press. - Thank you so much. Guys, I know, that seemed so abrupt. - No, no, no, it's okay. And then we should film the iPhone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we gotta do it. - Yeah, thank you. - We gotta do it. A few pictures, they make it. - Of course. - Thank you, McDonald's, for sponsoring this episode. - Can you do it again? - Thank you, McDonald's, for sponsoring this episode.