The Orphic Egg Of Tenga | FILE_05 | Mystery Boys

(upbeat music) - Oh, hello. - Hi. - Welcome to The Misery Boys. I'm Judge Curp, Tiberius, Metzger. And with me, as always, is Donkman Chussles. - Yeah, we're back. You know, I've just been sort of enjoying the wealth and power and. - But first thing I did with My Misery Boys money, I got on Timo, I got Jewelry, I got the shoes, I got the rug. - You got the rug. - Is that real? I mean, it looks like real gold. That's obviously real gold. - I don't know, and I don't want to know. - You don't need to know. It's beautiful though, man. Congratulations. - Yeah. - Congratulations. - Oh, we'll shout out to our good friends at Palantir. - Yeah, thank you guys so much for buying us mansions. I've always wanted to live in a mansion, and it's just, honestly, I've read like the hippie shit that living in a mansion won't make you happy. I am so happy, it made me happy. - Wait, they got you a mansion? - What did they get you? - Nice merch box with some hats, some shirts, you know. - I was doing a bit, they didn't give me anything. - Quite well. - It was a bit. - 'Cause there's not fair by the way if they gave you a mansion. - No, they didn't give me a mansion. - All right, when you've been in Milwaukee, you've been having an island hopping or something. - Not to seem like I'm changing the subject, but I did bring you something I thought you'd like. - Okay. - This comedian, very funny comedian, Mimi Benfield. - Very funny. - And I thought of you right away. Here you go. - What does it say? Maga. Oh, if she moves a little bit in gaze or awesome. Thank you. - Thank you very much, Duncan. - You're welcome. - That's going right over the goat. - Put it on the thing. Yeah, it'll look good, I hope it fits. Let's take a look. - Okay, let's try it on for a spin. Okay. (laughing) - Represent. - No. - Represent. - Now I'm representing you. - Yes. Wow, you know, what a beautiful hideous, what did you do on your hideous? - Well, I worked on the old Goon Cave. That's an ongoing project. - Yeah. You mean like where you jerk off? - I consider it more of a tantra. - Of course, absolutely. - Yeah. - More building up your inner power, your real energy. - 100%. - You've heard of real? - Yeah, absolutely. - Tanner, do you know what I've real? - That you came to me, please. I'm gonna do this word. - It's, I think it's your jizz, if I'm not mistaken. - Is that jizz, real? - Yeah, there's the energy within the jizz. - You know, one thing this shows about is if we can get everybody to understand that pretty much everything is jizz. - Is jizz related at least. - 100%. - Kevin Bacon is further away from most things than jizz is. - Okay. Did you mean real jizz? No, not. (laughing) - Did you mean real jizz? - It's Chi or Prana energy. - Did you mean real jizz? - I did. - Real. - Okay. Will you add out harnessing sexual energy and Viking mythos from Reddit. Someone made a video about this. - Real. - Oh. - The Vikings, more than almost any other people that actually lived in history, blah, blah. - Bleep, bloop. - Blah, blah. It's so long. - That's how you know it's gonna end in jizz because you gotta try to lull you to sleep first. - What do you think about the no fat movement? Like it sounds like you're more into the time. - What is a, what is a, no fat? - No fat. - Like a fat upper posteriori? - No fat, not, no. Yeah, no fat, seeming retention. What do you think about that? Hold on to your jizz, not letting it out. - Building up Qi energy by not coming. - Well, I mean, how you gonna chop a bunch of boards and half if you didn't hold all your jizz? - That's what I think. - Look, that's what all the grades do, okay? And that's how we got rocketry. We've discussed this many times. - Yeah. - Rockets, let's half a rocket science. - It's not jerking off. - No, jerking off, but not coming. - Is it true, you know? - But jerking off and never, always gooning, but never releasing. - Eging. - Always edging. - Never releasing. - Yes. - Just edging and edging. - And it makes you come up with. - He probably is. - Yeah, me, as you know, I told you, like I always waste my come wishes. I'm never. - You don't do sigil, man. - I just wish for more wishes. - When you jerk off, you just wish for more wishes. You got a wish? - I'm not only seeing the real energy as well, I'm saying. - You got a wish, you got to do it. - Oh man, a single, single-jub jimbebs goes. Not a good pretty sight. - Here's a serious question. Desolate battlefield with jizz rags across the board. - Desolate battlefield with jizz rags. - Like hand teed 'em. - Fucking core mag McCarthy over here. - I bet you that's how they found core mag McCarthy. - That's his office. - His office was a. - Oh, he's office. - Desolate battlefield, staying rags lay. - Like a withered leech upon my typewriter. (laughing) - So, that Wu-Tang record, that just that guy bought. - What happened to that record? - Oh, I'm Martin Screlion's it. And he's like the coolest guy, if you look it up, he's one of the coolest people I've ever lived. - Yeah, sweet dude. But it is odd that like no, like it worked, whatever. - It's missing. I think he played it, I think he played it on like a YouTube. I mean, I just want to hear what it sounds like. We're making one record and only one guy can have it. - It's genius. It's just all the tracks you don't want to release, you just sell to it, dummy. - Yeah, well, okay. You got to put Martin Screlion, 'cause I believe that he finally at one point during COVID. He got COVID madness. - What? - I don't know. - Did he go like. - Oh look it, did he, no. Wait, why you put in Martin Screlion, is that the one? - Martin. - Oh, it is, once in time, okay. - Screli. - So, let's see if we can hear some of it, because, is this it? - I thought they didn't release it. - Well, that's before, now it can come. It's like Del Belfine's bathwater, you know? - Wow, it's like disclosure. - This is final disclosure, it's been out. - This is it. - Can we play it or no? Yeah, we can. - Yeah, there's no way we can play this. Think about just like being the loneliest dude ever, Martin Screli, sitting in your. - He's not a loneliest dude, he was dating that up. Who's that kind of hot Asian wall street influencer chick? - Let's pull him up, who's he with? - The girl, the Asian girl that was talking, the FTX kid. - He just seems lonely to me. - No, guys, doing fine. - No, happy for him. - Oh, there he is, that's right. The last I heard he was with that bro. - Oh, congratulations. - This was a lovely fish head. By the way, I've never said fish head to anyone. - What does the fish head mean? - What do you mean? - It's a vial slur. - Is it a slur? - But no, so remember that, who was that chick that got sexual harassment from an Indian guy who worked there? And he faked her racisms? - Um. - You know what I'm saying? - No, I don't know that it is. - Okay, well it turned out, this is every girl that you know knows this. - What? - So this guy, he wanted to frame his boss for harassing him. And he had to go, "You're ugly fish head wife "cause his wife's Asian." - Oh my God. - But he made a mistake. This is how they crack the case. Is that no one says that. No one says fish head. - I've never heard that. - Except other Asians about each other. - Oh, I didn't even know that was a slur. I have to add that to my-- - It was a chase bank lady. That's right. - It was a slurs. - Yeah, have you guys heard of fish head as an racial insult on anyone? - No. - Never heard of it. - Never heard of it. - Never heard of it. - You don't read Wall Street Journal? That's where this was a-- - More of a New York Times gal. - I was, the Times covered it. It's a big story. - I had no idea. Can we look up fish head as a slur? - Can we see what this chick looked like? And she goes, yeah, just, can we see what he wrote? Because I think that's, there we go. - It's offensive and disparishing. Ethnic slur used to refer to people of Southeast Asian descent. Because of its derogatory nature using-- - Wait, there's a list of ethics. - Or directing this term. Yeah, let's look at the list of slur. - Have you seen this crew? - No, I've been meaning to look at it. - Oh, welcome. - Let's see. - A half. - Well, what is a Benny, we-- - Blu-Gum. - Blu-Gum. - Blu-Gum. - I've heard that. - I've never heard that, bookie. - I think that's a, I've heard that. - Never heard it. - A book. - Yeah, wait a minute. - Bird. - These are weak. - Never heard that, either. - A gamut, what? A fuzzy wasy. - How is that a slur? - Wait, this is commonwealth. They call them, you know, this guy of mothership is a commonwealth. His name is fuzzy. He's actually a fishhead, I think. - It's a term of endearment. - He's Pakistani. - That's a fishhead. - Yeah. - Okay. - Look, I'm not advocating this fishhead thing. I'm just, I'm always amazed when I get on the board. - No, you did a slur. - You did a slur. - Oh, sure. Will I be do you think my petition to be in the reality comedy festival will affect it? Yes, oh, by the way, I'd like to fill this out there on the number one trending podcast on Spotify would love to go to reality comedy I would love to and be given the chance to apologize for America on foreign soil 100% for being a bad friend. Yep Guys book us. I won't bring up the other thing that Tim brought up What what other thing but why can't he remember? I know why we they eat kids here So I'm not gonna hold it against you if you want to hold a Filipino in the basement Hey keep a couple of fish heads of your basement. It's not like you ate them You know Here's a mystery nobody talks about your own brain. Do you even have one if you ever gotten an MRI to check One minute you're fine and the next your mind serves up a thought so dark So out of nowhere that you don't even know where it came from What if I heard someone I love what if that sensation means something is seriously wrong with me What about another person I think I am these examples are amazing But for me it's more like what if I throw a hot coffee in this baby's face For millions that loop isn't just anxiety or overthinking it can actually be OCD Not the organizing stereotype real OCD is persistent unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character But it doesn't have to be that way OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy OCD needs ERP or exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment And that's where no CD comes in no CD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment All their license therapists specialize in ERP therapy And will help you learn to take the power away from intrusive thoughts in live face-to-face virtual sessions If any of this sounds familiar visit nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call. That's nocd.com You know what sucks waking up in the morning and the first thing you do is reach for your fucking nicotine pouches you're like some horrible lab rat Presse in that nicotine lever humiliated by your own addiction Pathetic terrible a curse under the earth and judged by God if you're like that You should look into ultra pouches These pouches are completely nicotine-free and caffeine-free Ultra it teamed up with neuroscientists to create pouches using utropics and adaptogens for focus and energy They included infinity px for a smooth boost L-thienine for calm attentiveness alpha gpc for mental processing and vitamins b6 and b12 for balanced energy And mood these plant-powered pouches sharpen your mind and lift your energy without any crash It also I mean they probably don't need to say this but it gives you this cool buts It's I don't I actually didn't even look into what chemicals are in them Thienine I like it gives me crazy dreams where I keep going back to the shopping mall But it makes you feel really good so you should try them I love the winter green flavor holy lord it's like Lincoln a glacier Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine New customers can use code mystery to get 15% off it take ultra dot com That's take ultra dot com for 15% off with code mystery After you purchase they'll ask where you heard about them Please support our show and tell them The mystery boys sent me So I mean I feel bad point and fingers at other people when it turns out they eat the kids Do you think there's somebody who's allergic to kids? Do you think there's somebody at some point? Finally like I'm gonna eat a kid, live forever I think Bill Maher's allergic to kids that's got to suck whatever you ever heard about Bill Maher You didn't hear that about him in fact. He's it's pretty universally known that he is really anti-kid All the worst and best ways Oh my god good news you cannot develop an allergy to human meat That's great. I was why oh Because human tissue does not contain alpha gal the specific you know almost that would point to like When a tick by causes red meat allergy. Oh, yeah, so you know they made those dicks I can't even believe it's even a debate dude. I'm dying to hear they brag about it. We we It's on Jimmy do where you go watch it. They watch these two scientists like, you know you can Break it down though man because I've seen like pictures of like people finding boxes of ticks But I haven't been following it at all I don't either it's gross Listen, I don't want to talk about gross shit like ticks that turn you into a into a gay I don't think it turns you gay I think it turns you into Sam Bankman freed at best Okay, that's it. He's not gay allergy. That make you gay. No, he took a thing called M. Sam. That was his wack Wackety who drug he was on while he's I mean his plan would have worked credit to him and then Look while it's impossible for a tick bite to change your sexual orientation. Maybe you haven't met the right tick Honey your anger alpha-gasager and I know this is that didn't somebody at the World Health Organization or what's that meeting of the Illuminati that they have that everyone freaks out about He didn't say one way that we can keep people from eating so much meat is by Infecting Eating of meat has not effected anything. It's literally no problem with it the carbon again all the big Desoins there's 97% of scientists thing by PCC had to walk back all that shit because Remember they predicted what was gonna happen and none of it fucking happened so they're dumber Then religious cooks who predict the end of the world it is a religion though you could argue it's a religion right And that's why the mystery of why climatologist which is not a real thing and meteorologist don't agree Because one uses computer models right and I don't know this idea of hallucinating the the answers But I've been a problem for a while turns. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's how you know which aliens shits fucking fake Because when they landed there's in bobway in the Rhodesian school Zimbabwe school and then tell the kids not to pollute. I think that's a that should let you know They tested something out on some kids in Zimbabwe not their aliens chose Zimbabwe The they go where could we go and test out our psychotronic bullshit? Oh on Zimbabwe kids, right? If you if the aliens tell you environmentalism that's how you know it wasn't there was no aliens right It does seem ridiculous that you would go to a school and Zimbabwe Fame Satan is Jacques Valais said to Joe Children in Zimbabwe we're not the whole thing, but let's just see a little bit of a surprise There's no way that a mass landing With the sheer volume of eyewitness testimony at us. Okay, get to get to the French on just that case. I don't need mr Yeah, where's Valais the on the vagina incident over here is respectability He's not even on this oh there he is by the way again that guy The vagina incident guy. That's the first guy He's leaving out all the fucking occult shit in the area and the fact that nobody said a ship came out of the sky They said it came out of the ground. Yeah, uh, and it was also and this is when we get to Tanner's beautiful reading of the Lieber Viking I can't wait. Uh, I bet it has something to do with what they saw Okay, guys. Let's look at this old French loser area small This is not should not be looked at specific layers of threat I mean with with the phenomena that we observe. I mean if they wanted to blow up those f18s, I could do it You right. Anyway, I have a stopper friend you right here um If they wanted you if the aliens wanted to they could have destroyed us Well, maybe they want to feed on your kids. That's right. At a beef jerky party. I mean That is you don't want to kill all of us. That's such a good point. Get something out of you the the the the assumption That these advanced entities are so dumb that the way they're going to attack us is by blowing shit up and not by Leaching off our energy or even worse trapping us in some how infiltrating all of your royalty that still rules over you and that's why there are nobles and shit Yeah, we still have those why because they think they have I'm not making this up. They think they have dragon blood If you take all their lineage back. That's always though. I'm from Ori theory pen dragon. That's the son of the dragon. They're all Serpent they're all serpent race. Yep. Uh, so oh, yeah, play the rest of Jacques. I interrupted. Oh, yeah, Jacques. Let's play him They will blow up our shit. They wanted you. They blow up our shit the servant of Apollo here That's not what it's all about and this idea of just labeling it all as a as a threat because it's unknown That that's the wrong idea 90% of the information Comes from the public comes from children comes and very very little of it is made up You know in France. I mean the the data would we get we're sticking up for the UFO space agency Comes through channels where if people reported something that's found to be untrue. They're going to be Called by the police. It's okay. He's saying the supposed to change your danger if I'm not that is what he's saying Uh, it's mostly children reporting it. You don't you don't believe the words of children. Oh dear god Why why are you assuming like I'm sick of it, dude. I'll be honest man I'm actually like completely done with the UFO thing. I've never been more I think everyone's annoyed with getting edged out by the UFO people It's just a weird time to bring it up, you know It's a weird time to bring it up and why don't we address this right away because some people are claiming I'm your hand Can we can we talk about that? We already talked about that my Chelsea handler. Yeah, like fun handler Meaning a lot of laughs and a lot of learning. Yeah a lot of learning and that's what people look for in comedy a lot of no racism and Again, it says make AIDS gay again you assholes. Yeah What does it really say why don't you just say it out loud? I don't remember what is it? Muslims and gays are awesome. Oh I don't know if I agree with that. I told you I'm it's a sweeping statement Well, I'm a hardcore Zionist and I've made that known Everyone knows that about you. No, I like the gay part. I do like I do got to ask you though, man Why are you such a Zionist like you know? I've got nothing against the people of Israel, but sometimes I feel like That means Yeah, oh, I feel like the matrix or something No, I know I I mean Zionist isn't an under underground Satanist raver in the future in matrix point - no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm in a Bourbon right festival going on inside the Bourbon right, but no, man No, but you do love Israel. You talk about it all the time. I've been to your house Well, I know because people try to like I don't come at me about that. I have nothing to get to you Yo, you just seem like really fixated on it People call me a Jew a lot Are you I remember the guy from Ori Em and they go are you gay? And he goes I like to be ambiguous about if I'm gay or street I'm like the guy from Ori Em and my Judaism Well, I don't know am I a Jew I am dressed like a kid that just had his mind blown at his bar mitzvah by a breakdancer. You know I told you I was a Jehovah witness. I think this will make you like me more I never told you this. I don't think I did you know my grandfather was Jewish Which one? What do you mean? Which one don't lie to me? I'm my I'm my mom's side Okay, wait, so is your mom Jewish? No, you don't get to it's matriarchly. You don't get to be Jewish if you to your grandfather. Right my grandmother would have been Jewish That's why Chelsea handler God rest her soul is not god bless her She fought the good fight. She really did man. It was actually co it was the covid booster got her that's the thing Is that what did it you know she was getting ready? Do you remember when she's I just want to say this I think it's really rude that a lot of you guys are saying that she OD'd on a combination of MDMA and GHB when we all know It was the covid vaccine. Yeah, I thought she ended up getting an enlarged cut Yeah, in large cut syndrome It takes a lot of people out ECS I know carditis What's Mike? myocarditis, it's gyno She got gyno carditis from the booster Good for you. Oh my god. I mean the booster may be maybe not, but they're in large No, I was real bad. It's terrible to you. That's a horrible thing when that happens you get your stuck in your zipper I you know, I don't want to bring it up. You know the horrible. That is how hard it is to get like a clitoris out of a zipper Well, I read her book. I I lost my If you had any of her books If I read her books are fucking kidding I read them every night to my kids is the only books I read I learned about sex The Zimbabwe by Chelsea Hadler Rest in peace man, that's so sad. I read both of the books suit on my suit and my face Love that one camera room by tits and uh so good So it's one of my asshole. I believe it was love So great Garwood when I did the Danny Jones program. Yes, we went to go eat and and a great Garwood had higher side chats Which is a great great great hot YouTube. Yeah, and he sent me Some excerpts from this thing Called the Lieber v. K. Which is the book of cows book of cows. Sounds great like a farming book or something Well, I get you're mr. Hands of You know because it reminded me that mr. Handsay, you know See yeah, where's that mr. Hands in Washington? I don't know where it happened He was Washington, which is the number one capital of bestiality in America. Are you exactly right? Don't ask me how I know Don't even ask how I know that you don't even want who does the poll like who's studying that well mr. Hands game I'm like it's like number one and it follows logically. It's number one in sex tourism An animal sex tourism such as mr. Hands Because it has the most busy already. So it seems like you can find animals anywhere though Like why do you need to travel there to fucking animal? Well, my guess is there's an infrastructure of it for quite some time, but okay anyway Oh my god, yeah, I don't know how you get what do you get into town? You got to like you can't just like Punch that into your Gentleman's zoo. He got a gentleman's you Have you ever been to a gentleman a gentleman's I'd like to try a reverse Noah's Ark tonight if you know what I'm saying I want to be inside two of every animal. Do I have to spell it out? I thought this was watching it Don't make me come out and say it This dumb joke, but is Noah Jewish. I don't know. Well, his last name is Zarker. So probably Do you know the Zarks? Just trying to lighten up the beast reality. So the Libra VK is a hideous Okay, so Greg said to me and I think I take it to you immediately. You were buying a hat or something. Yep Which by the way looks great. I don't know if I know much Don't let anybody tell you not pull it off because you are no one's even said that like I'm sure people are gonna love this Yeah, I love it. I honestly got like I can't believe how much I'm into it. This is my hair Well, so it's this new hair transplant stuff they're doing They take your ass hair, and I had to grow my ass here a young one you act what do you want horse? How do you have a Pony like ass. Isn't that amazing? It were are you from Seattle? No, this is my ass hair Wow, yeah Well, you've been putting it in your mouth quite a lot. Yeah, why not? Well, I guess it dies into what we're talking it does kind of Okay, so I so I go so I didn't want to read this thing out loud It's like oh, Danny. I'm not reading this to you. You two young So I had him read it or tenor you just would you like? Let's let's let's let Tanner read the God it would be amazing too if like we can get some like nice. I don't know saxophone music under this Okay, Tanner just read it how you read it to me before all right the deadly cow hybrid a slightly different version of the cow ritual appears in Washiya's Kitab al-Shamoum the book of poisons this text frames the act as a way to create an assassin like monster The act the operator must first emotionally tame the cow by starving it then hand feeding and caressing it until Wildness and a version are removed A doe is made from human blood oil and pure wheat flour the operator anoints their penis with rose oil made bitter with cypress Which specifically prevents the cow's womb from ejecting the foreign material and begins copulating During intercourse I'm learning I'm learning I'm like a grammar police over here I'm copulating with this It's hard to copulate this and begins copulating. Thank you. You're welcome during intercourse the operator Repeatedly withdraws to push the blood infused doe deep into the womb eventually ejaculating fully the incubation the cow is kept in the dark and given water mixed with wine What's that sweet the life form once the cow gives birth a powder of zinc red oil Silver cadmilla and pull sorry. It's actually in case someone watching wants to try this. It's red soil. Oh You said red oil. Oh, might be red soil silver cadmilla and pulverized Earthenware is fanned over the newborn the resulting mother or a monster has a tall wild human head and a delicate tail located directly on its weight What about a braid made of its own ass here? This could be true Come on it has four cow-like legs, but only two of them have hoops The creature becomes violently Agitated if it smells wine. That's what sets it off. Yeah, according to wine and seven days after its birth It's gaze becomes cursed instantly killing anyone who looks at it. I'm not gonna have a great day. Just here and about it It's great, but wait. This isn't the part. Where's the part? Oh, okay? Okay, but where's the part where you you picked up on this with the Stone. Oh, there we go. Okay. Okay. This is a goes. We'll try a different recipe. That one sucks. I don't like it Oh, you don't like that because you're just making a okay, so So it's a mouth-formed cow man assassin, but the way it kills is someone just sees it and they drop dead from the horrible thing you did. I mean, it's like, there's gotta be a better way. - There's gotta be a better way. - Okay, here we go. - Yeah, I'm not gonna pick a cow assassin. It's just lame. - There's a new one, you wanna try the new week one? - Yeah, it sounds like the depression and they're, I mean, come on. - This is to make the ape. - The ape humongulous. - The ape humongulous, yes. - This operation from the Libre VK requires the practitioner to copulate with a female ape exactly at the hour of the sun's descent. - The very top right there. - Oh, I'm sorry, okay. - To populate with a female ape, exactly the hour of the sun's descent, which is always the best time to fuck an ape. - The sun sets, you have at least a nice sunset to look at. - Well, they get horny when the sun goes down. - Apes too? - Yeah, okay. - Okay. - The act. - What kind of ape? - All kinds, it's crazy. They just love it when the sun's going down. They love to see that, dude. - The act. The practitioner must prepare their semen by mixing it with a glowing sunstone and the gallbladder of a white hawk. - Now, I'll do you read that. What did you see to me, Tanner? - In Pokemon, you have to. - No! We're not going back to Pokemon! - If you wanna evolve your Pokemon side. - He was reading this awful thing and he goes, oh, this is like Pokemon, I get what? - Yeah, don't do it. - Yeah, don't do it. - This also ties into goat simulator three. If you wanna make like a cow goat hybrid, you have to find the sunstone. - Are you fucking kidding me? - I swear. - Goat simulator three, somehow is inspired by this obscure beastieality, Grimwar? - Yeah. - For these jobs and. - The Swedes do their research, yeah. - Let's keep going though, I wanna hear. Like, we gotta, what does this do? So, you gotta mix your semen with the sunstone, with the powder of the sunstone. - I don't think I should say Japs, you better cut that. - Oh yeah, we'll take. - You say Japs? - Yeah, I just said fish head, you say. - Okay, here we go. So, after mixing, you're come with the glowstone, with the glowing sunstone and the gallbladder of a white hawk. And then after penetrating the ape, the practitioner smears the apes vagina with tortoise blood. - Please don't. - Well, that part makes sense. - Yeah, so you gotta get tortoise blood and then the incubation process. - tortoise blood seems easier to get than the gallbladder of a white hawk. - Yeah. - What am I getting? - I don't think I got any skin on my hawk. - Yeah, I've never seen a white hawk. - Can you pull up an image of a white hawk and see where to get them? - They've heard of a black hawk. - Sure, a black hawk down, great film. Oh, they're out there. Where do you order them? Are they on Amazon? - Where to get? And find out where to get a sunstone. - Yeah, just in the wild, South America, in Texas. - Oh, perfect, great. - So guys, all the links will be down below for these ingredients. - Yeah, let's just say we might solve where the screw worm epidemic is coming from. No, no, those. - What? - I'm looking for the evolutionary item in Pokemon. So, I guess the sunstone though depicted in this book. - It is fabled and not a real. I have no idea what it is. It's probably something with P. It is the grossest thing in the world. - What's the name of the book again? - The Lieber Vagage. - Can we just pull that up to see if it's on Amazon? - No, it's not. - You're not gonna find it. - It's a Cambridge and only three of the rituals have ever been released. - Wow. - And the rest have been released through Pokemon. So, when the Pokemon evolved? - It's so fucked up. Goat Simulator, Pokemon, somehow inspired by this obscure book. It's so weird. - Okay, wait, wait. And then. - Let's go onto the birth. - Wait, yeah, the incubator. - Well, we gotta incubate at first. - We gotta incubate it. The incubation. The ape is locked in the dark house and fed a diet of flesh infused with human blood, along with a weekly ration of wine and a dracom of human blood. - Oh my God. - So much wine. - Interesting. The life form. Upon birth. - Think of that thing's breath. - Jesus Christ. - Upon birth. - The newborn creature is smeared with a paste made from the leaves of the Abraham tree, Indian palm tree of the sun, and the gallbladders of a tortoise and the mythical fireproof senden bird. - See, that's where they get you. 'Cause like all of a sudden, you need to find a mythical-- - Yeah, you just made the whole thing perfect except you don't have a mythical bird now. - You've been fucking an ape. You didn't get that far. - Well, I did every step. - Every step and they're like, what the fuck is sand on bird? - Where do you get a sand on bird? - I think Malaysia. - Well, it's mythical. You can't just say, you put in sand on bird. - Wait. - There's a mythical. - Why do they say it's mythical? So whoever wrote this is just a dip shit. I mean, there are sand on bird. - Wait, it's a bird-watching site. I don't know. Look, you don't have to file all recipe. The half the fun of cooking is throwing it in your mouth. - Improvising. - Put your own twist, maybe a Latin twist. - Throwing a possum. - So after you rub the paste of the tree palm oils and the bladders, - Yeah. - It is then sealed in a vase for 40 days. - What is? - I believe the life form, yes. - Oh, the pregnant ape is the one that's in a dark house. - Yeah, so the pregnant ape gets put into a dark house. - How long does it take for an ape to give birth? - I'm gonna count out what's the, what's the gestation period for an ape. I'm just trying to see how long you gotta keep this thing in a dark house. I mean, no one, you gotta have a lot of money to make this amunculus. - Depending on the ape, normally chimpanzees 243 days, but no bow, however, are 240. And then the orangutan is 259. - It's a long time, every day, you gotta feed it. - 259, how, what is that? - What do you mean? - Like a, you know, I'm not good at math. It was like four years, not. (laughing) - I like you. - So after you, so then the thing is birth, you throw the baby into a vase. - Yeah, so then you take this baby thingy, after you rub it with the paste of the bladder and the stuff, and you shove it in a vase for 40 days, where it develops into the form of a human that is missing one foot, the operator, then gouges out the creature's eyes to create a magical eye salve, that allows them to see spirits and demons. - And what is the purpose of this thing? - To see the spirits and demons. - Well, then what? - Do they wanna see you? - What about diapers? Like, you gotta. (laughing) - That's it? - Yeah. - Is there any other, well? - Wait, the resulting monster has a toe, well, no wait, you went back to the cow. So you put the baby in a vase. - No, there's a cow hybrid. There's a cow before that, too. - Yeah. - What's the pre-other one? There's three. The human skin creature. Whoa, we were on it, it was before. Is it, no? - No, before that. - Oh, the human skin creature. - Can we pull up that? Remember in India, like the cow that look like the sheep, they look like a person, it does happen, where it does seem like somebody fucked livestock and it actually took. And then they, like, look, I can't remember what is the sheep. - Do you know the first case of it? - In the New World, and then the parents of the gut, I don't know how they figured out the guy had ran through the whole town's. But the parents in the court case, you find this, dude, the history of it, like of BCL, they go, yeah, you should execute 'em, 'cause I mean, that's for the best. 'Cause what's he gonna do, get another job? - Right. I mean, you can find, like, no, like, they're, it happened. - Wait, what? That's not real. - No, man, it happened. - Well, this is a goat that was secluded enough on an island with no predators, so it was able to evolve with his eyes in the front. - But that's okay, so that's-- - No, look out, like, go. - What, okay, that's what they say? - Yeah. - But I thought that takes, like, millions of years-- - Yeah, this is, like, a old, old goat. It's not around anymore. - So they all have a face like this. - It's, like, it's like goat or cow. I can't remember it happened. A goat that looks like what a human head was really married. Is that it? - What the fuck is that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, sometimes it takes. Sometimes it takes. You go out there and bang a sheep and, like, you didn't wear a car. - How could that be? - The sheep tells you they're on birth control and they're not. (laughing) - It outlook, it happens, dude, it happens. Look, look at this one, that's the one. That's the one. - Okay, let's see. That looks like some kind of hideously to form creature. - Yeah, but come on. You know what happened there. It's going viral. Like, zoom in on that poor thing. - That looks like it, but that just looks like a deformity in the front of the-- - I just wish they cut to the guy holding it 'cause you know that guy looks exactly like this. - That would see that I was gonna say. We need to see him next to the guy. - Yeah, we'll zoom out. - Yeah, I don't know. This happens sometimes. This happens. I mean, people have been fucking animals forever. - Well, where do you get a sunstone? That's my equation. - Can we form a scene? - What is a sunstone? And I didn't understand that. - Is it used for anything other than fucking animals? - The worst thing I've ever heard. - You mean Pokemon? Let's pull up his sunstone. And goat simulators three, if you're looking for the sunstone, you're likely thinking of the golden globe at the goat tower in the biosphere area. In interacting with it allows you to manipulate light and melt the distant glacier to free the UFO. What is happening? What is this dude? Sweden. So Sweden, it was, that game was like you're a goat and you hit people with your horns. I mean, look briefly, actually, it looks fine. No Oregon has them, but we're, it felt like they're saying like you grind it into a paste or something. Yeah, you have to grind the sunstone into a paste and then mix it with your blood and come and then you rub it on the vagina of the cow and then, and then the magic and then you can start your magic. It's just so much work. That's why I could never have like a hot pocket for me, you just tossed it my way. I'm on the go. I don't have time to make it. What's time for this? My cow fetus assassin. It just seems easier to hire someone to kill an enemy. What is that supposed to be? I think these are just drawings of different like homunculuses. The creation of little people with great powers just, oh my god. Why do you got to log in to look at that? What is this? You think it's going to a list of this? What are we on? I mean, all of this seems weird until you see, like pull up that computer. The computer that's using human brain tissue. Pull that up. All this seems crazy and then you see like what we're doing now. You've seen this right, Matt Skurr? What? The, it's a computer that uses human neurons. Yeah, what's a big deal? It's like, if you grow some human tissue on it, you get abortions, don't you? Scientists grow. It's just like an abortion. It's no big deal. Many human brains to power computers. So you take the brain of an abortion and you make a power computer. Dude, I will be honest. I look this up. No, I don't doubt they're doing that. I looked it up. Apparently it's not fetal stem cells for this, but it wouldn't they try it with that though. By the way, have you seen this fucking shit that just came out about, oh my god. This dude running an abortion clinic, it got rated, it got rated for some reason. And oh, and everyone's like, it just smells like rotting flesh. Wait, that's the Philly guy, the doctor. That's the Philly guy. Pull that guy up. Yeah, it was one of the worst things ever. Most horrible shit you ever had. Because he was doing, he was killing the babies after they were born. This is the worst human on earth. And the most chilling thing about this is like, somebody who was like an expert for, I think the prosecution on how to do like humane abortions. It operated the women's medical society clinic, a non-compliant abortion clinic. Jesus Christ. Dude, it's so fucked up. But on trial, somebody from like, who was like quote, like ethical abortionist said was basically like, yeah, the way that killing the baby after they're born, that's fucked up. You have to give it compassionate care until it dies. And then you're doing it right. Well, you know that happens, right? The baby's born and then they just give it like, it was a young Phil Delphine of the year because of his work directing the man to a halfway house. So this guy is probably like John of God, kind of mother fucker, I'll bet. He's got a pill mill, an abortion mill. Yeah, that's right. If they're doing, if they're murdering, I mean, you know, you know, you know, they're stabbing the baby. Yeah, they sell people buy those, it's really gross, dude. But people buy those parts. They buy the bones. You know, you know, you do with baby bones, you know, fuckers do with that. There's some kind of poisons they make out of it. What? Yeah. Out of baby bones? I have no idea, dude. What the fuck? Look, I just found out about the Libra Vakay. Here's how out of the loop I am, one of these, what a boomer I am. I never heard of this cow fucking Pokemon game. I know. I've never felt more old. I've never felt more like an old man than not knowing about the Libra Vakay. This is the Kitab al-Newami. It's Arabic. Is this the same one? It falls, he says, Plato wrote it. Like, I like the, the people think Plato maybe did write it. He probably did. Why not? Like, what? Yeah, how do we know it's false in Plato didn't write it? Because he- I wouldn't surprise me. The Book of Laws. The original titles, the Book of Laws, but somebody changed your the Book of Cows. I just, you know, it's funny, though, you read this stuff and you're like, these fucking primitive pieces of shit and then you look at what's actually happening and it's the same shit. It's not that far apart. It's right. Well, they never stopped doing it. They never stopped. Yeah. So if you're into that kind of creepy shit, which I am 100% think Frank Sinatra was down with in his mom, not just, not just Sammy Davis. Frank Sinatra was into, you mean, what do you mean? His mother, her name was the pin or the hat, hat pin something, but what's his mom's name? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see a picture of his, but yeah. They called her, her name was Natalie. I thought they called her like, hat pin Natalie or some shit like that. So she ran a speakeasy in Hoboken, okay? And they did abortions there. And this is, by the way, dedicated Catholics. That's weird, isn't it? That's totally weird. There's like a borderline occultic, I would say. Oh, Dolly. Yeah. Hat Pin Dolly. Worked as a local midwife who provided safe abortions. See how they're cleaning this, Kermit Gauze and I'll shut up, but the picture of skinny Frank as a, as a jiggleo with the, uh, the arresting photo. Oh boy, a lot of fucking day goes are going to be upset with this, but I said jab before that. I can't say walk. I'm part Japanese and part Italian. I'm not, not like, I'm sorry, I'm part jab Jewish American princess is what I was. Um, you really are, I'm a real, you really are. That is the vibe, dude. Okay, see that. And so what was he under arrest for? He was under arrest for, um, seduction. So that's the local cops cleaning that up for the local fucking saloon and rent boy who there ain't no, let me get you a, tell you something about guys who hook, who are hookers. They fuck dudes. That's 100% the case. They're just, if it was the other way we'd be in heaven, it would literally be utopia. If you could go sell your ass on the street, you're happy, everybody would be, you would prostitution. I got that. I, dude, I even know the outfit I would wear and walk up and down the street. It would be a lot of dick neck hanging out, just like one nut hanging out. Really sexy stuff. You know, you get to change it up. I'll put really sexy stuff. Okay. This is his name. So, will you look up Danny Elfman? I went down the Danny Elfman hole this week. Dude. Oh my God. When we were looking for a house in fucking LA, I went, like he was selling his house. I was in one of his old houses, and what did it, what did it have, what do you think it felt like in there? What do you think it felt like in the house? Like a fucking ginger, it lived there for too long. It was right. Look at what the kids, it just seemed deadly. There's a lot of, it just seemed like a, a very dangerous place to have kids. Okay. A weird shit in there, man. Like what? Well, I don't mean weird like a cultic shit. No, I know. Like what? Like, like, like, sunken places, exactly what you would think somebody like him, his house would be just like. What was in the sunken place? The place from get out. The sunken place. No, it just, it was like, it felt like, um, it just felt like you couldn't have kids in the house, you know, not for some weird shit, but just like weird, you know, the Winchester mystery house. Yes. Is that kind of vibe? Are you serious? Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying there was like, I don't know how to, it's been a while since I looked at the house. But I'm just saying it was like, fuck it. Get a picture of Danny Elfman up though so we can know. People know that is. Oh, this is me. Sorry about that. Throw my phone. I'm trying to find the thing you give to Tanner. That's Altman. Elfman. No, not Danny. Altman. Elfman. Danny Elfman. Danny Elfman. Yeah. Okay. Let's get some shirtless picture. There's a shirtless picture of him next to a skeleton. Well, there it is. There's. But I want to see his tattoos clearly. We got to do it. Yeah, let's look at it. Let's do a tattoo analysis real quick. Kurt Metzger tattoo analysis of Danny Elfman. You don't have to put my name into this. No, that's what this is. You're going to know what this shit is. Zoom in on that. What do we got? Okay. Zoom in. What do we got? It's a good picture. I'm trying to get you a good one. Keep going, keep going. There's more. There's more where he's like. There that's the skeleton. Go to that skeleton. Oh, there you go. Okay. Open that up and then let's make that big so you can see what. You need analysis. Zoom in. What do we got here, Metzger? You got a dog? Okay. Well, I don't know the dog thing. But I'm trying to have someone identify those two sigils around the nipples. That shouldn't be it, chat GPT could do that probably, zoom in on that, let's zoom in on that nip. Yeah. Get enhanced. Enhance. Nipple, please. Enhance. Elfman. Nipple. Enhance. Okay. Now you see that hand. Okay. That's the hand of glory. Um, what I've never heard was called the hand of glory. I'm pretty sure, right? Pull up hand of glory real quick, just so we can make sure that's what that is. I think that's the hand of glory. The, uh, Benedicto Maria or some shit is called the hand of glory. Maybe not. The hand of glory was, yeah, there you go. Look. Oh, no, no, no. I thought it was the hand of glory and it wasn't. It's not the hand of glory. The hand of glory is a severed criminal's hand with a candle that paralyzes you like a cowfeetus creature when you enter the room. Um, this looks like the hand gesture that you would see on like a lot of Eastern Orthodox art. Oh, okay. It's the hand of the philosopher. I'm texting, uh, uh, what's his name here. I just texted you. That's not sinister. Well, no, it is. Hold on. I'm, I'm giving you some tanners. I want to show you. So Nosec Neal from, uh, my, uh, think tank turning points him triply, which I'm honored to be a member of. Now, now, now including Duncan and Sam, you know, you really did. I think underplay that thing. It really is a think tank. I don't know who's in there, but there's some really smart people in it. It's Nosec Neal, uh, Dr. Heather Liden and, uh, Matt Errett from Canada and, and turbo Canada nerd Matt Errett. And, um, I thought if I, they, and I was like an ad more to it that, of like scholars, but like that it's freezing off. They, they go, no, they're so brilliant. Yeah, it's like if Grock didn't lie to you. Well, I didn't tell you the weirdest part about him. Okay, first of all, he's straight. Dad, I had that. I did not know. Yeah. He's married to, um, Bridget Fonda. Huh? Remember Bridget Fonda? Well, the dog tattoo looks fucking great. Okay, so you remember this check, right? No. Yes you do. From single way female. Okay, sure. From Jackie Brown? Dude, it sucks. Like, I, like, you're like my wife. I honestly, I never saw single white female. And then I feel like I have to lie and say I know it is. Yeah. So I've seen gubbles where the guy gets jacked and the check is ends up being fat, but there's something. Look at that one. That's brutal. She's 60, but I mean, yo, why is he jacked? He's ripped. Whatever my name. Okay, so there's when they first got married. And then she became a recluse. And he's a Coachella with no shirt on. Fucking jack. Now, I, here's a little rumored. Now, this is just juicy gossip, Duncan. Okay. You can't. I like juicy gossip. I put on my reading glasses to read this gossip. Okay. Uh, supposedly from like 1995 to like 2000, something his orchestra for making movie music. Yeah. He would, they had to like shower in front of him like a basketball team showers after a game. Oh, and he would watch them. And then, oh, wait, wait. This is the allegations. I don't know that this is true. This is what I just got told. This is what I got from my rent. This is from my Renaissance fair contact. I want to make that clear. But that, if you know anything about Rennie's and Cornies, that's reliable info. Close-up Magician's in Berlin got good info and Rennie's here. Anyway, wait, what? Yeah, because they travel. They know. Oh, okay. Okay. It's like rowdy. It's like shelf roadies. No, you know, right. Got you. No, what? Uh, well, Rennie's wouldn't be spelled like that. That's like Rene. And that's why it probably thinks it's a friend chocolate team thing. Anyway, I'm just telling you stuff that just go just go. So, anyway, he said also the guy would try to fuck everyone in the band. And their husbands or wives. Elfman? Yeah. That's what they, there's people like it. And it was a lot of money. Supposing the guy was like, I just, it's not worth it. But okay, 1995, what movies was he making back then? 1995. Does anybody remember? Is that what it is? Is that what it is? So back in the, which is, I just want to see what the time line is. I mean, he was doing music. He wasn't technically making movies, but he's made some of the most iconic soundtracks. Uh, so what you're saying? Like, during the movies, he would make people. Okay. Now, for free, net right now on YouTube. Okay, so that video I texted you said Dead Man's Party. This is why I even looked into this. Okay, so, here's the opening. This from 1980. We would call classic when I was in animation school. You went to animation school? Yeah. Wait, pause. What? I learned things that make me love you more and more every day. You studied animation. Yeah. Are you fucking with me? I dropped out. I dropped out to be a mystery solver. You made the right choice. I just, I was on to some spooky mysteries there and I, Wait, where do you have any animations you could show us? Uh, Patush. But I've shown it many times already. Patush. If you show it, you haven't shown it on the mystery voice. Uh, that's true. All right. Another day, another day. Well, Patush is fucking cool. Did I not show Patush on you? No, on my channel. Go on, uh, Kurt Metzger comedy. You can put him Patush. Do you still animate stuff? Do you still mess with it? Uh, with AI. What? Everyone loves you. No, no, no, my YouTube channel, Kurt Metzger comedy YouTube. Everybody loves AI animation. Well, it's, you're saving a lot of money on animators. I'll say that. Keep going down. Keep going down, uh, videos. Let's see. Oh, that was a very excellent one. Keep going. There's, it'll come up. Oh, that was jangle on jangle. Do you ever see jangle on jingled? No. That was, uh, I made that from the Christmas party. It's a beautiful song. Uh, shorts, maybe. Oh, there it is. Patush. You animated this. Or is it? Yeah, but I did it with AI prompts, but it's a good one. Press, press it. It's a good, it's really good. Patush. He lives all of them. They worship them. I hope it's in the ancient religions. That's of course just right to that. That's so is jangle. ♪ I'll charge your card ♪ ♪ But it's Patush-typing work in real hard ♪ ♪ For health claims in the USA ♪ ♪ He says denied in a cold robot ♪ ♪ It's great ♪ ♪ Talking to a, I feel the patience with hate ♪ ♪ But it's really just Patush ♪ ♪ Who is sealing their faith ♪ ♪ He's a fake AI girlfriend ♪ ♪ Sweet as can be ♪ ♪ Texting, I love you from across the sea ♪ ♪ Or building your app in a magical flash ♪ ♪ But it's Patush coding 'cause he's desperate for cash ♪ ♪ Pretending to drive cars that steer on their own ♪ ♪ Or scraping metadata from your new smartphone ♪ ♪ Oh, Patush, what a clever little guy ♪ ♪ In his phone filled room under the sky ♪ ♪ Pulling the world with his AI disguise ♪ ♪ But it's really just Patush ♪ - They're ready for the twins, though. ♪ What a surprise, Patush ♪ - Patush! (laughing) - It's actually a live-action joke. (laughing) - Initiating AI protocol, scanning all devices. Data received, processing now. (beep) - Sorry to be interrupting this broadcast of Patush, sir. - So that'd be a piece to be bringing you this emergency report, sir. ♪ I'm your tech friend ♪ - I be a zimmer. (laughing) - That's fucking great. - And then I like to think there's a little Patush out there that animated that for me. - Wow. That didn't really happen, though. Like they found out. - Yeah, this is on-store. - Wow. - And then Waymo is, the Waymo will consult with a Filipino. - It's incredible. You know, I don't know why, but the algorithm started feeding me like hot lumberjack girls, like girls, like-- - Why? - Yeah, cleavage girls, but they're chopping wood. - I like that. - One of them is clearly AI. - Yeah. - And she's like saying-- - She was outlawed good. - But it's the comments are so sad, because it's all, like she's saying, like I'm looking for a boyfriend and it's all these dudes who aren't capable of identifying. That's definitely AI. Saying like, I would do you like-- - Think it doesn't AI. - That one's not. - I have to, I'll send you the one that's AI. I don't know my phone is. It's definitely AI. Like it's unquestionably AI. - 'Cause I saw a thing with this chick who's like a physicist and I'm like, there's no way that's got to be an AI 'cause there's a woman. - What do you mean? - You know, like a hot physicist? - No, she wasn't hot, but it's just-- - Oh, you mean like, yeah, like you mean like, 'cause women can't do math. - Yes. - You know, now not to be bigoted with the Asian ones again, but we don't know a lot of them. - Yeah, it's a real, it's, it's, it's, it's. - You know? - Yeah, you don't seem bigoted. - Yeah, I'm not, you know. - You don't have to get woke. - Well, for nothing. - This isn't a joke, Joe, why do you always go woke? You do, you veer towards woke. - Or post woke. - Sorry to make you woke. Well, you know, I'm a big Muslims and days are awesome. I know that's fine. I have nothing against that, but you do do feel like, yeah, Kurt Metzger. Hey, that's, that's not right. I'm not a vocal critic of vocal culture. I've never even, I'm a, I'm a early, uh, enabler of it. Yeah, I'm an early adopter. What's the right way? Early adopter. Uh, playing a character is just really him. Sadly, he's not. He's a mother. Okay. Um, so, hold on. So Danny Elf's man, the one that says Deadman's party, put that. Yeah, let's look at this. Let's look at that first before Forbidden Zone, because I wouldn't even look at this unless it was, do you need to do a land acknowledgement first? Yes, we are on the unceded territory of the Comanche, uh, possibly Chumash. No, not, not Yaki Indian, certainly. Uh, this is their land that we stole and they are never getting it back. Amen. Amen. Is this nice to, to call it out, you know? Hey, if I took your house, I put you in the garage, we're family. You're brave, man. And then I was wearing that hat and I'm like, listen, I acknowledge this is your house, that you, the unceded house of Dunkin Truzzle. And, uh, I'm going to stop wearing this hat. Look at him. Look at how he just like sucked the life out of this fucking generational scene. It's so beautiful. You know, the fond is how fuck they are, right? No. Well, the, the elder Fonda, who's always out of the Navy, the Navy is the most demon fucking infested thing there is. And so the Navy, uh, after the World War II went everything went, you know, when the, the rest of the New World Order plans went ahead. Yes. Uh, Jane Fonda, Hanoi Jane, as you've heard her called. That's because her shipbag father put his kids into the culture war. As part of that operation, they did in the 60s. You might have heard of where we're to this day, people still believe in 60 shit that these scumbags all hoisted upon us. And, uh, they dissipated all the, all the revolutionary energy of like, hey, maybe don't listen to our kids. They dissipated it. Can I say something real quick? I just had this paranoid thought. Maybe they shouldn't go on the show. Okay. Because some of the, I, you wouldn't like try to restrain your, I don't care if you interrupt me or like when you go like four white claws in, I actually kind of like it. I don't want you to feel like you have to, I don't, I'm not, because I get violent when I get criticized about four white claws. I'll tell you that. I like it. I'm just saying like, I hope you don't hold back this explosive violent. I like it. I'll be talking to you nice like you'll think we're friends and explosive violent. I like the explosive violence. I don't want you to hold. Yeah. Turn on to a lot of people. It is hot. It's no braid with a fucking sweet. It's very, I don't know how to put it, man, but it definitely like, it's steamy and hot. Oh, I wish my steam vest worked right now. Yeah, why are you fucking best? Stop. Hey, we're back with Judge Kerb Mebsger producer of the chipmunk rap album. Great work on that last album too, man. It's fucking great. You know, the boys didn't want to do it. They said, we want to be normal chipmunk kids. And I pulled the gun on these little fuckers. Yeah, you get in there and you fucking wrap your little shit back. Yeah, I read that. You know, we eat kids in this industry. You think chipmunks we're not going to do something unspeakable to you. Look, you better fucking rap. Yeah. And that's how you got to talk to them. Thank you. I just want to thank you for forcing them to continue. And the kids, the gratitude in their eyes, the little children who see the movie and saw that I forced those slave chipmunks to work at gunpoint to create something that made their day brighter. That's why I'm doing this. That's why you're doing it. Oh, look at them. Don't get sucked in by how cute they are, too. They're so adorable. That's how they get you. Like, oh, don't starve me and put a stone stone in my vagina. But it is, you did, you do give them drugs. Is that true? That you like get them dead? Well, how else would have this lifestyle? They weren't on drugs 24/7? Fair enough. It's like K-pop. Fair enough. Who's giving them their drugs? But you guys came to K-pop, but you guys like K-pop? Are there voices really that high though? That's a good question. Let's look at some K-pop people and let's see if we can tell the report. The answers no already. The heads are already no. Look at it. It's black pink. Okay. Wait, what is this? Oh, no, no. Okay. So the whole black pink. Yeah, black pink. Oh, well, the dudes are better to use than the, you know, you had it initially with those guys. The names of. Pull up K-7-4. Pull up K-7. Look at those guys. See them? Look at that. That's the fucking example. Now, which. Now, look, all together. But look, let's be fair about this. Why do you. Okay. Are you really saying you can't tell the difference? I absolutely can altogether. Yes. But okay, the guy in the end and this guy here. Yeah. They both have the Luke Skywalker butt cut from the original. Actually, three of them do. What the fuck is that cut? That's so fuck. Just notice that. Yeah, the butt is called butt cut. What's called a butt cut? Well, I wasn't always in school, but. So each of those guys. You look a butt cut. You didn't know it was called a butt cut? No. Wait, am I from another planet? Dude, maybe. Pull up a butt cut. You want me in my. Image search for that. Would you like some legal Delta 9? Yeah, please. Thank you so much. Boy, Delta 9. You know, you don't need the real thing. No, not at all. It's that good. It's not a waste of your time. I could taste the Delta 9 in this. Yeah, the old Georgia Delta. Whoa, who's that, Ms. Bumbumb? No. Well, what's up, Bumbumb? Let's go to. Pull up Ms. Bumbumb. Let's read it. Fuck all the other stories. Ms. Bumbumb, hello. Pull up Ms. Bumbumb right away. China's. They're Chinese? They thought they were doing genetic shit to their people. Let's scroll down. What are they pointing at? Stop. We don't care about the top. Let me do it. What? Wow. This is like Street Fighter fucking Chun Li-ass. Well, a lot of overweight guys jerked off to Chun Li's. You have to. If you haven't jerked off to Chun Li, if you haven't. Who are you? I know my dad actually took me to an arcade to do it. He said, "Will you help my son?" I don't want him to learn on the street. Pull up Chun Li. They should call the Chun Li contest if I was there. We can go to China. Do you want to do some white monkey work? I would love to. I don't know what that is. What is it? We're not blonde, but if we wear a wig, I bet they. What's white monkey work? You could just get a job standing around being white at things. Is that fucking. That's not true. Put in white monkey work, if you want. What? Now. What do you see that nerd go, "Oh, my God." I mean, see, that's like aspirational. Here's what I feel like you're about to do. I feel like you're about to ruin Chun Li for me. Every single great thing, you're going to be like, "Chun Li is actually. Only as she is. What could possibly ruin Chun Li? You're going to tell me something in a second. It's a setup. You're going to be like, "Oh, did you know that Chun Li?" Actually, "Oh, look at that foot." You got great feet as well. Oh, did you know Chun Li also has amazing feet? Yeah, those feet aren't cool. And, you know, I'm not. Look, I've spoken out against foot people a lot. Spoken out. Oh, well, I've often said there's these perverts that think feet are the tits of the legs. Yeah, they are. But I gotta say, and that drawing, that is the tit on the end of that leg, right? They're actually medically considered the tits of the leg. Yeah, you suck along them. What? For nourishment. Basically. Yeah, I go, "Yo, take your shoes off. Let me see them leg titties." Um, can you pull up leg titties? You know, that's a song. The chipmunks want to do more of a mature shit. And I said, "How about this? Let me see them leg titties." I guess the real question here is, "Could you implant boobs?" Like, you know, people always implant boobs in the chest, but is there something keeping us from implanting boobs in the feet? No, the feet are though. Are that? I know, I'm saying, but what if we get implant boobs into the feet? That's like a twoduckin? Yes. This is too decadent. Okay, pull up Vajanko. Can you pull up Vajanko? Have you ever seen this? No, but are. Pull up Vajanko. I'm not sure this is old news for. Now, that. You know, I don't know art, but I know what I like. Yeah, there you go. So, and it's like a sandal for my penis? It's a. Finally. I go, "I'll just wear it out of the store, thanks." Listen, you know, there's people out there who can tell you live in a sick society. And I tell them, "Take a look at the Vajanko, and maybe shut your fuck up." Oh, that's terrible, though. No, no, no, no, no. The Vajanko is like sophisticated. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Look, it says the Vajanko sex therapy. And this is Dr. Jason Winters. What could he possibly be doing? Let's pull up Dr. Jason Winters. I like to know. Zoom in on this, I can't see it, but I do want to read it. - Well, this Delta nine is not too bad, dude. - It's actually really good, dude. - Do we have a Delta nine sponsor? Could we retroactively? - Yeah. - Wait, this is by Ralph Jones, so it's-- - What many don't know? Wait, go back up. What many don't know? (laughing) - As Bronwyn, that's an Elvish one. - Bronwyn Kay, yeah! - Of synthetics. - With an S-I-N, guys. - Synthetics, the company that makes the Vajanko informs me is that the Vajanko was, in fact, creating 2013, when a repeat bug contacted the company and asked if he could put a Vajanko on one of the feet, they'd already manufactured it. - Right, idea. - He explained he wanted to be able to see and massage the foot while having sex with it, and so the Vajanko was born. Now, I feel stacked this up with the Libre VK, the Book of Cows, which one disturbed you more, would you say? - The fucking Book of Cows, I'm gonna say the same thing. - I was gifted a Vajanko, they're great. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Do we have you when they asked anybody, we don't want to have the eyes-- - Wait, can we pull up the foot cut that you fucked? 'Cause that, that, I'm offended. Like, you keep showing that. Pull up that, 'cause it's just so-- - That looks like a bad case of playing the faciitis. - That's not, the vagina on the ankle doesn't bother me, but the vagina on the sole of the foot seems depraved. - This sounds like the famous Jengus Khan, a neurotic hoarding of cutting new orifices into their victims. - Yeah, yeah. - This is not a natural place for a vagina, the ankle makes no sense. - I wonder what your formative, hey. - That is horrible. - Is this a deal breaker, if a guy has this, the-- - It should be. - Is there any women in this room? Is that a deal breaker to find a vagina? What is this called? - Yes. - Oh, it is a Vajanko. - This is the Vajanko. - That's not a Vajanko. - No, that's a, that's a-- - That's a Vajanko? - Well, it's a rendition. So, you can either go bottom of the foot or top of ink. - How much money they make it will know how much killing has to be done in this country? (laughs) - It's on sale right now. - Oh, it's on sale? - Yeah, it's $149. - You guys, Armageddon has been averted another day. - Oh, God. - That is so awful. It's like you stepped on glass. - You can get it in brown too. - Why do you feel like you have to show that? - I'm glad you guys are in there. - You know, I was turned off by the racism until he said that. - There you go, you guys are woke. - Oh, here we go. - Hey. - Can't tell you a little motto, I look fine. - Just 'cause you put that on there. You're tokenizing, it's tokenizing. - Oh, wait, put it in the mega fuck slide. - What? - Mega fuck slide by PDX. I told this, I was explaining this to Sam Tripoli the other day. By PDX. Yeah. There you go. PDX stream, that's what it was. Now, so I was in a, I was in the, - That'd be a cool mouse. - I'll make a fuck slide. Yeah. - Drink it down, that's an amazing mouse. - But they also have one in African-American as well. Don't worry. But I mean. - But now go back, could you go back? - If you don't have money for the full doll, right? And you're like, I don't need the olders use the board. - Why do you need extra parts? - Right, I use these. - Shh. - Yeah, no, please keep this between us. - No, that's the thing. - No, she's right to shush you. - Why it? This was like the hustle. - You wanna buy a cadaver doll, so? - Shh. - Me and my fifth wife were buying a Christian Dildo at the Hustler Store in San Diego. - There is a Christian Dildo. - Well, just a basic rabbit, a normal, a normal sanctioned by his holiness, I think. And this fucking thing was in the store. There are stacks of them. - Yes! - And it's only $2,000, it's only $2,200. For a fuckable toy shop. - It's easier to ship. - Yeah, now I thought the commercial for it should be like a grizzled vice cop. Like this toy, so is the closest thing to the toy shows I would often find on my job that drove me to drinking and destroyed my three marriages. - I mean, you could, I mean, you could just like, - Hey. - What do you call a girl with no hand or arms or legs? - What? - What mega fucks like? (laughing) - Compete extreme. - No, it's not weird. - No, America's not Satan. Come on. - Dude, what a fucking hilarious. Just, I want you to imagine the Vajanko and the mega fucks like the next time, you hear about like a bad country of bad dictators and shit. - You ever fuck a flashlight? - I have ever entered one is what you mean. - Sorry. - God, let's get to get old though, man. You can't be, all right. - Okay, the answer is yes. Because Moon Tower right here in Austin, Texas, the first Moon Tower, to give everybody a gift basket of fleshlates, both amuses and vaginas. Some, there's a lot of female comics they got one too. I don't know what they were supposed to do with them. I don't know if they're like, "Hey, do you have like the other HDMI connect "of the other UCB?" - Yeah, what's that? - It's like Apple and Android problems. But yeah, I'm on it. - Where I was like, I tried it one time, okay? I remember, and I put it in, and so only time my whole life that I felt like deeply ashamed that I tried on an outfit, but it was tried on something, let's say. - Yeah, I know. - You're supposed to like fucking boil it or something to warm it up. Dude, it's like. - No, it's good to do that. - Look, I'm just gonna say this to all the kids. I know there's a lot of impression with people out there. You need the feedback of hand. There's no plastic thing that one of these mad scientists is gonna make that they're gonna carve into a plastic foot that is gonna duplicate your hand. See, this is the thing with-- - Right. - You know, remember before you could find just the most disgusting of a jankled pornography online? You had to find it in the woods. - Yeah. - You know, when I was 12, we had a great jerk off imagination, you know? And kids don't have that no more. - Oh my God. - Kids do not have a jerk off imagination. - Like 4K. - Now, if you join the military, go to prison. I guarantee you'll get it back. But, you know, you got too much. And then you're on school shooter pills. Well, these kids-- - I feel like you're speaking out and to protect the youth, man. That's cool. - Yeah, like, hand, trust me on this. - The feedback of hand. - This is perverse what they're doing with this. This is teaching you to objectify. See, a hand is filled with nerves and it's alive. So it's both you and your hand. Do you understand how human it is? Now, I understand it's not ideal. - Okay, look, I know-- - That's how, oh, call out a high school shooter is radicalized by the Vajankal? Oh no, wait, can we see this? What is this? Missing, what's it missing? Subject missing, Vajankal. Well, all right, I'll look at the story anyway. Okay. - It would be fucked if his last name was Vajankal. - It sounds like a last name. - Desmond Holley. So what did he do? - Okay. - How, wait, I just wanna know how you're weaving this into like telling kids they should jerk off more. - No, no, no, no. - I know you're saying that. - Don't turn to the Vajankal. - You're just saying like-- - If you think a, if you think of fleshlight, you're gonna feel okay with that, you're not. And if you do feel okay with it, there's something wrong with you, there's something really bad. If you use a fleshlight successfully and I don't even know what that would entail. - You have to, like I remember when I got my-- - I just throw it away, I would never use it again. - It's the idea, do you know what I did with mine? - What? - I penetrated my fleshlight. And I-- - Turned it into a half-cal assassin. - Almost. - I didn't think of that. - No, I'm telling you, I stuck it. So like, just like you're saying, when you fuck a fleshlight, the shame that courses through your body. - It's like it's a dead body or something. - It's like your ancestors are barfing. Like it's like, you've-- - Like, returning to the Jedi, Star Wars goes of my people, my Mima, and my dad all looking at me like, oh, no. - It's like if they were in limbo, they're in hell. Like if you fuck a fleshlight. - 17 intelligence agencies also watching through my toaster, probably. - So I can remember, you know, you're so, you can't believe you just, you did that. It's like I remember I was in the shower and I stuck it in the window about your shower. - He had to do an age verification with it, bought my first-- - And threw it away. - That's the-- - What is teradactyloid? Now, teradactyloid, I assume their hands are deformed. That's so sad. - There's no reason to feel guilty of it. Now, you know what? Look, a Christian vibrator, like a rabbit, that you get from a normal-- - Hey, click on teradactyloid. - A normal arts and craft store, wherever you buy that, that's fine. - You do sound a little old fashioned. Click on teradactyloid. - Call me, I wanna look at his other posts. - This account is banned! - This account has been banned! (laughs) You fucking God, oh, he knows what he said. - In my case, it was also dangerous. Okay, I live at my parents. Okay, wait, wait, wait. - Walking on your boy, thinking of a jankle. - Is it? (laughs) - It's a bad moment. - Dude, you imagine your mom finding your fucking ankle that you keep-- - How come filled with cheese? (laughs) - Just to the brim, like a coffee cup. - Oh, God. - I mean, if you find it, I mean, if you look, if you find it, you're like, oh, God, let it be unopened in the box. And then, like, who would reuse that? How do you clean that? - What? - Of a chain. - No one does. - Dude, you fucking-- - You'll tell you what you do. You wrap a chain, wow, around your dick. - No, man. - Are you giving it? - You're a good fucking right here making orange juice. - Right now, there's 50 dudes fucking of a jankle that has not been cleaned for like four months. - Wait, can we go back to the, wait, hold on. 'Cause I was an amazing, uh. - What's the best way to clean a pocket pussy? - Throw it away. Okay, wait, but what's-- - No, I have pocket pussy, stop it. 'Cause you look, it's like-- - Wait, go back. - You know what I realized when you say pocket pussy and fleshlight, it's really like Taco Bell where they really just have one item at the end of the day. - Yes. - Which is pink slime and it toys you. - It's all the same thing. - What's the Zeeam's joke? Whose joke was that? He plays, he's a funny dude in LA and he would say you feel like Rockefeller going to Taco Bell. - I'm plaking on his fucking name. - But here's the other pocket, pocket pussy, fleshlight. White claw and Zeeam, it's the same thing. These are Zeeam's. - Do you ever fuck this part of the, I've tried and it hurts. - Dude, can you, I wanna look at you. - You couldn't even get in there. I felt like Gail King and Katy Perry going to space. Like, I got right to the tip. - You don't rip your dick up. - Yeah, the tip was too fat in the rocket. - I wanna look at the other one. - What? Wait, now this is a thing to bring your Donald Trump right now. - Yes. - A lot of pocket pussy, but don't have the money for one. Okay, I know I can never own a home, but can I at least? - This is so sad, that's the saddest thing in the world. - Can I at least have enough money to own what I call the ultimate tiny home? (laughing) - A pocket pussy. - What, can you, can you imagine going out? - Have you looked at the sponge slash cup slash glove model or the, - Call it under five bucks. - The bringles condom edition. - What if you can. - Kind of loves you cheap. - This is the worst threat in all of human history. You know, this is what's gonna get it. - I feel like I'm reading the Babylonian Talmud. - Keep going. - I want to read every comment. Go back a little bit. - Dude, bro is in poverty. (laughing) - Wait, Tenga has a 30% student discount. - Okay. - Save up, buddy. You can do it. - Like, you might get, this is really snobby. You might consider masturbating if you were unable to afford it. - Someone on his yachts. - That's like this pipe, the guy. - Maybe if you're kind of forward to masturbating. - That's you should consider masturbating. - That's you. (laughing) - I don't like the elitism of Vex on Zero-Zo2. - Click on him. Click on Vex. Let's look at the other. Sometimes you can see all the other things they've posted. - Please, can we, yeah. Anyone else unable to join in game? - Can't get into my friends game. Oh, fucking billionaire Vex. (laughing) - I failed to find Reed after waiting for 46 minutes. I somehow knew in my soul that would be the post. Well, if you can't afford a masturbate. - Let's go back to this thread though. I think we, I think nothing is like made Karl Marx and what he said, like, mean as much as this thread. - This is the death of history as they said. - I wanna look at it pleasant. I'd really suggest just waiting and saving up a little bit. That's, wait. Spend that four bucks on some silicon lube to make masturbating exponentially better. You'll need, oh, I suggest waiting and say, do you understand how low America is at this point? So this is like, I can't afford a home, but I can't afford a pocket pussy from my cock as I slowly evolve into a Greta Thunberg alien. Look at this. - Click on, man. - And they're telling me, save up. Yo, that's your future, Tanner. This is your future, dude. Do you understand this? - You're gonna be like, well, will there be any legislation on, you know, a loan to buy a pocket pussy? And they're like, no, sorry. We've got a war in fucking some other country with too many consonants than none of ours. - But, you know, in other countries, like Europe, you have to have. - 10% of 30% student discounts. - Click on among, among obelisk. - Hominid obelisk, that's an extra. - Wait, let's go back and read the comment first. Hominid obelisk says, spend that four bucks on some silicon lube to make masturbating exponentially better. You'll need it for the condom and lube, a progeny out. - Oh, you buy condoms and then jerk off in them instead of a. - Wait, wait, wait. - Show his fucking avatar first. This is who wrote that. - And I'll bet you, it looks very. Like, I bet you that's idealized. - Oh, yeah. - For sure. Okay, let's look at other comments they've made. - They didn't look good, they looked like whatever. - Find an artist that does nice organic patterns. Lots of dolphins jumping through pretty blue waves. - We're getting character, it's just, this is whatever. This is a dead end, let me go back. Some of these are. - You're right. - Some of these are, you know, mystery work. You find dead ends. - You just never know. You never know. - Okay, I'm a college student that literally has four. That was at like $7, America. Probably, yeah. We can save up 10-get eggs around a tenor. What is a 10-get? - What's a 10-get? - See, that's a thread to pull. - That's the thread. What's a 10-get? - What up in my pipe? - Did it extend? - I don't know. - That's a 10-get egg. - Okay. - This just fucking those things. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Like, what the fuck? - Super stress. (laughing) - God dammit, we is fucking of God. - And great for masturbating. - An easy beat egg. Oh, the way it had out there, dude. - Oh, 'cause it has that hole in the box. - Two, three. - Oh, it's a chair cuff. - And two. - What, wait, what? - Super stress. - Why are we not advertising this? - It's almost any size. - I think we are. - It's almost any size, except the human. Choose your white style. Well, I fuck it. - Super stress. - Sensation. - Yes. - Hey. - Egg. - Live with wonder. - Oh, live with wonder. - Great advice. - You know what, I gotta say though, there's a lot less disturbing than an ankle with a vagina carved into it. - You just sound old. - Do I have, not to be a boomer, but- - You sound like a boomer. - I was a little put off by the soul of a foot. - The soul of a foot's fucked up. The ankle makes it. Let's go to the, that account. - Imagine this, I imagine this is what Alien Pussy feels like from anonymous. That's what you call disclosure. And that's what Jeremy Corbell didn't show in his movie. - What? (laughing) - That's what. (laughing) - Spoiler alert, if you ever see- - I don't know the pleasure, read this review. - Wow, small package crazy, crazy performing. - He used to say that about Kevin Hart. - How insane are you that you write a review for a egg you fucked? (laughing) You know how crazy you are, like you fucked the egg. - Do we find, Tango, you know what, this is another great thread. Because by the way, this closely approximates the mythrace myth of bypassing women altogether and impregnating a stone from which mythrace grows. They're always dog walking you back to, like, don't go near a pussy, why don't you just fuck- - Always goes back to that. - Why just fuck petroleum? I bought my, oh, you know, I'm glad. - Wait, is this straight of our moves being closed, making loop prices go up? - That's exactly what's happening. So right now, so think about that. - Can we look at that? - In the future, you're gonna be fighting gangs of roving horny teenagers for eggs to fuck. That's the future. - How much loop comes out of the straight of our moves? - Well, we could have plenty of loop here, but as you know, the oil companies send the loop to other countries 'cause we don't nationalize our loop. - Wait, what? - The fertilizers, the real one. - They're directly linked to the prices of ting eggs. - I wouldn't trust AI on this one. How do I invest in 10 egg? Okay, wait, but we're, I wanna see reviews. The future is a fucking egg. Tenga. Yo, that is the future of all of you. - Maybe that's what we're in right now. - Ladies? - Maybe we're in a fucking ting egg. - I don't know how to work. - I don't know how to start that. God just fucked a fucking ting egg. - No, that's the mythrists. So, mythrists is burrowing up into the next universe. So, every time the age turns, whatever the God is, is like killed, ill off, and then some great illuminati motherfucker burrows his way into the new reality through that cosmic egg. - It's a ting egg. - And it is a tanga masturbation egg. It's like, you know, so you get probably significantly less good than the thing God did. - That's why they say they can't tell us what's really happening. 'Cause they would be like, all of you are just like in a hyperdimensional fuck egg. - From that to, oh, me, God. I don't, is that something from Taoism probably? - Oh wait, can you enlarge it? - Oh, me, God, is I didn't, uh, - As my title might suggest, variations, (laughing) the variations between one egg and an egg. other can make for entirely different and fully enjoyable experiences. From one to the next, I like to use them when I'm, quote, edging, switching from Intense Egg to-- Oh, God, this is for more Intense Egg to a more gentle one about it. Take a break from moderating Reddit for five seconds to enjoy an egg. Using the entire six pack that way, I can find just the right amount of stimulation to either slow myself down a bit or intensify the sensations for epic, multiple orgasms. Oh, I wish I could hang out with that guy. I am a trained sex educator and I can highly recommend Tango Products for developing full body awareness, sincerely, Anthony Fauci. Oh, helpful? Yes. Two people like, wow, that is a great review. Thank you so much. I was on the fence about buying this egg. Yo, I should probably quit my job at GameStop and review eggs. This is what he's-- That is such a long review. Well, I wonder if that is-- you know what, when I read that guy's beautiful review of that Tango egg, I'm dying to know his review of the New He-Man movie. I'll bet you he's got some insights into, well, they didn't take it seriously. That's the first thing. That's the one thing about-- Skeletor wasn't scary enough. No, Skeletor was Jared Lito. You'd not do him better than that. So that's a false critique. Yeah, I got stalked by Jared Lito's stalker. Huh? You're Eskimo's stalker because it's with Jared. For real? Who-- can you say who it was or will they stalk me? Dude, no, I-- I-- I am worried about even talking about it, honestly, but-- If my pipe's upside down, that means distress. Dude. That's how you know I'm being stalked. That's a naval signal. If you see-- His pipe was upside down. If you see-- Why didn't you do something? The naval symbol. You'll know that I'm in big trouble. I got one. Didn't you see it upside down, pipe? It's a signal. Yeah, everything's fine. We're having a great-- All right, wait. Let's look at these reviews, though, because this Tango egg thing-- Oh, this is single-use sex toys. I should know sex toys. Destroying the earth. Well, the review is what I want. Oh, my God. Oh, the Keith Haring series. Yeah, if you're into art, this is what you thought. Oh, so that's like if you can make a little egg-- you know, there's like eggs with a prize in them. In this case, it would be AIDS. Hey, Keith. Good news. Cool at first, but don't expect to use that long. Interesting. Would still recommend. It is cool at first. That's what I like about it. How cool it is up front. Let's see what-- We didn't say-- Wait, wait, wait, go back to that review. The description of that thing said the feeling you deserve or something's crazy. What's the number down there? Wait. Scroll down real quick, sorry. What's that number? It's just a date, T. Pull up T's. It's a four-star review. 12, 15, 20, 24. This might be a code. Look up what happened on December 15, 2024. God came really hard is what it looks like. Wait, what happened on that date? When was that supposed to be? The guy ruined yet another egg. We imagine that's the pollution is like-- Look! A mysterious wave of unidentified drone sightings across the Northeastern U.S. Yeah, this is when the fires in LA happened. Remember because the West Coast was all fire and the East Coast was drones. Go back to that review. When was it posted? Helpful? Somebody said no, and I agree. Go ahead and put me down for a no. Now, let's see more reviews though of this fuck egg. Wait, go up. Wait, I want to read what they're saying. Look, you don't need to worry about applying lotion or liquid because the smooth pad insertion mechanism creates an airtight seal and automatically. It has lotion in it. It applies the internal lotion as you insert it. Wait, this is the key thing. That's already better than women. Oh, wait, now how do I use it up and down? Okay. Thanks for explaining. Okay, so first peel it off. It looks like one of those Japanese fruit juice boxes. Yeah, like they like a little chore with their fun and fruit juice. Wait, so you can fuck that too, just a-- Yeah, that's great. And use it as desired. You can control the suction by placing your finger. Hey, can you pull up YouTube? Tina, it has a fucking car on it? Pull up YouTube. Where's the hole that you-- No, it doesn't. Look, you can control the suction by placing your finger over the air hole while stroking. Oh, fuck, that's crazy. My fucking jerk off it, he has a car on it. Oh, god. It's like a bowl. Anybody else? Wait, wait, go back up. Why are there all these dates? Look, 12, 15-- Look up 5, 6, 23, this is-- Well, look up 6, 23, 20, 25. Why are there dates showing up for fuckable eggs? Is there a views? I like that, um, well, because first of all-- If this-- The fact that you review the egg, like after you fuck the egg, right? The waves of shame that you're feeling. That's when you're going to be like, oh, I've got to go review this. I don't want to talk about it. It is weird, a string of dates are-- Well, what was the name of that conspiracy theory, the furniture store? They said we're selling kids. Wayfair. Wayfair. Is this some kind of wayfair? Well, look at this kid's-- This has been out for seven years. Can you play that? We've already lost the war. Okay, let's see. Let's see this guy's review. Look at those things in the background. I'm here at the chat about-- Oh, sorry. I'm thrilled. I just did it so fucked up. I was reviewed wrong. I was so wild when you just did. Boy, did I say jab? I mean, we can't even add all the mistakes I've made. My essence won't be the worst fucking thing. Now, this one was unforgivable. Okay, go ahead. I'm living to get the opportunities of Shane Gillis to be fired. It's over for me now. Mystery's over, I say to-- You know, now, again, I met Jewish American princess, as I said. Yeah, go ahead and play what this lady had to say. Okay, this is a product that we've carried for many years and we love this egg. The idea behind it is that it is a-- with the way it's marketed-- is that it is a flexible masturbation sleeve designed for masturbating penises. Inside-- I don't know why my thing went off, but-- You have a egg like this, and then a little packet of lubricant. The packaging is really nice and neutral. The masturbate that-- But you died in a car accident, and you're in hell. And you're going to see me for every day. Every day I'm going to come in and I'm going to talk about this egg. Okay, and you have to somehow jerk off and just look right at me. And behind me, I'm going to keep bring up the thin brown penis dildo on the shelf as you try to do that. Yeah, go back and let's just survey the dildos on the shelf. I wouldn't pay an attention. I'm just curious what they got. Now, we got-- Okay. We, uh, okay. What is that? That is some kind of coffee filter. It's like, what's that fucking coffee filter? That looks like the thing they would put you on a medieval time to confess that you're a Jew. It's the alubidati pyramid. Another signal. It's conical. You got-- Oh. Is it just going off? Hey, the heart wants what it wants. Okay. And then there's a couple of blue penises. Oh, that looks just like when you remote viewed Sam Altman's penis. That's the exact shape of them. Oh, it's just thinking that. And then-- I'm talking about the one on the end. That's either Keel or Peel's penis from, uh, the comedy team and Keel and Peel. It's both. It has an extension. You see there's two. It's a style of coffee. Do you guys know about the Keel and Peel? Keel and Peel. Excuse me. Keeping peeps. Yeah. Keel and Peel, do you know about, uh, who's the one that's not the horror director? Keel. Okay, so supposedly Keel's got a real bitch wife. That's what the kids are saying. Oh, yeah, I read about this. You know about this? Yeah. Because I was saying this. I said to Rogan. I said to you. Well, I believe get out. The movie get out. Which I love that. I think it's a great movie. Yeah, it's good. Um, I think that's based on when he met Chelsea Brady's family. Oh, my God, dude. Because her brother's the guy that invented BuzzFeed. Oh, my God. Hardcore acceleration. He wrote an essay in college about how we need to ruin everything to make. He really wrote that. That's her brother. I saw him at the Boston Comedy Club years ago. Wearing a scarf indoors. Dude, you just. First time I ever saw it, blew my fucking mind. Just melted my brain. Okay, so what I didn't realize though is that, um, it's also about the other guy too. They, they, they had to do some bit. Some like, wait, no, it's not his wife they're talking about. She's, uh, he looks, he had two kids. Chelsea was like the ultimate fucking, like, Butterface back in the day. Ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. What? I'm sorry. I'm still, you go, "Pretty." I go, "She's okay." No, I'm still spitting out from what you're saying. Because it's like, it, yeah, I, I think that's. Remember, get out. Yeah. So, both these guys, I'm guessing I don't think I guess I think they both have white moms so right so look We can talk about people who they hook up with It's not that your moms. Yeah, right? Yeah, probably not a black chick Because you're like a Freudian thing you want to bang your mom. Well, I don't think it's that I think it's you have a model. No, I think you want to bang your mom We're just friends might meet my mom and we're fine with that and I don't care about the rumors There's nothing going on there, you know, okay, I never feel so really she'll tell me I Think she I think you shouldn't be shy I'm sad cuz my dad never kiss me like Rob Reiner and his boy All right, let's show this grow quick. This is I want it post. This is not okay My mom they watch this okay, it's fine. Don't say it's my mom dude everyone wants to have sex with your mom Well, she's really tan I'll tell you I was fucking with Tony the mother show. I was like dude you like my mom. She's tan. I just kept going around with tan my mom is I don't know why I was doing that Cuz he's tan. I don't know. I thought like I could It was nonsense. My mom's real team. I just get to say you're like dude bro a lot of people you like your mom's tan as fuck It's like if you met my mom and she looked exactly like Tony That would be profound They had the same haircut for a while what is that? What Tony's a layoff the testosterone is I That's a problem with the camera, right? That's not what is I know she's getting a really bad void face. I don't think that's true. Come on That's you think that's a void face a void face. I think Tony's probably never looked better his whole life than now I would say fair. Yeah, ever ever since he got on steroids. He's look great Stereo is a they were I got a try and I would love to Just a little freedom of needles. I don't we get into that that'll be really funny if they make a suppository. I'll try it Yeah, I think they do look up steroids Oppository, oh you do there you go, man. That's hydro cortisone. That's just from my itching. No, my muscle Oh, I keep forgetting this. So you know it's gay pride month as yeah, of course Um, I cannot wait for shame month next month to shame people because I can't either I like her shame. When is gay shame month? Pull up so wait Every month Wait hold on there's something called I every time I think he's done a bad search There is a thing called gate. This is a radical anti-assimilationist movement. What? Wait, wait, okay, let's see. What's a similar? Oh, we're doing as a protest over the over-commercialization of mainstream pride event groups like the London based collective Duckie What they've all so you know it This is like my stupid joke about monkey box where there's a thing called the door alley festival in San Francisco Yeah, which is like a old school ass fucking parade. You know, like the gay pride Yeah, the classic ass rates of your and the gay pride parade used to be for the Disney that shit up right now it was hard It was hard for the day you could fucking the ass in at a parade in the street. Yeah, why else would you go to a parade? Yeah, this is more the collapse. This is before already going to the moon. I am at this parade. Let him fuck at the parade Well, we landed on the moon. All right over and over again until Disney came in all right, so That's fucking crazy. Okay, wait, so remember. Okay, there was a bottom-friendly menu on postmates Famously a few years ago. I never knew that you don't remember this. Okay, but there was recently somebody out they put up a thing about It's some kind of fever you get from ass fucking too hard. I Bottom fever it's called Okay, I don't remember Dude Okay, and it was like advertising imagine your doctor telling you no bottom-fever advertisement Gay at gay. Don't put sickness. Oh, okay, well, maybe I'll work actually I'm gonna find bottom shaguella. I don't think that's what they mean There was an ad like there was an ad about bottom fever bottom fever. There's a yeah, bottom fever advertise It sounds like a queen song Yeah, advertisement hit that We'll go back you can just click the way from it go back hold on AI was saying it. No, no, no, no bottoming fever He found it. It's a it's a physical or a response to There's a thing about advertisement that was just up and now it's gone. I see there's a commercial Keep going. Keep going No, you are on it. It's a just sounds like you're talking about a viral advertisement What is bottom fever? June 9, 2026. What is that? Yeah, there's something called bottoming fever. You can have flu-like symptoms like chills or low grade fever after intense anal sex This is an inflammatory response to micro-trauma to your rectal lining But it's nothing to be worried about, right? I don't worry. He resolved on its own within 24 hours if he doesn't have a fever that lasts beyond 24 hours That could be a sign of proctitis inflammation of the rectal lining or an early infection that needs to be evaluated I'm getting fucked sick. The guy said oh, it's totally normal. And so well, what are you talking about? Oh, the the swelling of the inflammation if you've called that a word for bottom fever Anyone who gets bottom fever here? I got a fever Oh, man, I think I'm getting bottom fever. I don't know. I'm just like feeling some advertisements just came out I swear to God for like it's it's not like um Okay, so put the bottom-friendly menu from postman. There's a few years ago every pride month because all holidays understand are to sell a product. None of them or anything except some reenactment of some darker cult thing combined with commercialism Okay This is legendary I know about the postmates thing. Yeah, do you remember it and they would show you the No, that did not just happen this year. No, no, it's so long ago now, isn't it? I thought it was this year. What are you eating this pride? Well, if you're atop, it seems like you can eat whatever you want Yeah, it's true But if you're at bottom, you're gonna start Not this pride introducing the bottom-friendly menu from postmates We teamed up with Dr. Evan Goldstein from Besposter Dr. Evan Goldstein made you a bottom-friendly foods back by science Insoluble fiber absolutely won't help you feel cute back by size Dr. Evan Goldstein. I want to help right now. Dr. Evan Goldstein Tanner, get on the line Dr. Evan Goldstein. Tell him I need to see him immediately I mean my temperature is rising. We don't know for sure. He's the same Dr. Evan Goldstein Wait, there it is the second one down. Oh, it's been searched before he's an anal surgeon. Oh I'd like to staff So weird staff pick Be spoke Okay, so this is like we're gonna fix your asshole to take a nice fat fucking black donk in it, right? Nice black hogging your that's what that I took from them. So they talked him and they're like hey He's a nashley or an anal surgeon if you catch his drift Wellness can you really call it wellness at this point? He's the co-founder of future method and innovated sex care brand that is the result of So basically like people with ripped up assholes. I bet a lot of porn stories, right? Yeah Yeah, and he thinks this thing just went off on its own. Call Dr. Goldstein Dr. G He's got it because there's some chick. He used to be a porn star in the 70s. They had a HBO documentary about it And when porn started getting more gonzo where it was like you'd watch it with your frat You know remember the day back in day being college in the fat boys and be like a gang bang video And you're all jerking each other off and have a good time. No, I don't remember that doing the consultant back in of the Templar on each other Yeah, no, I don't I never did I never did that. I'd never want it animation school Today we call it a rusty trombone, but the template is called a consultant Oh, it's so weird. I'll just does the same thing But anyway, the this chick that was in the 70s point she goes Because in the 70s these are a lot of act so I think we all know this right actors are all Some of the dumbest whores that have ever 100% hoard their dumb ass way across this earth. Yeah. Yeah. They literally will you could put anything inside them Words that are stupid anything you're cock They're absolutely the most blanked out many of them victims of vicious satanic mic control from Such as Thomas McPath in the third aka Tom Cruise From a generational Satanist great actor Yo, you talk about mission impossible when Sean Penn played Harvey Melch you think you didn't fucking Get the bottom friendly menu and go go method. Yeah, it's called I bet he did it's called method It's called the method and it works 100% um anyway uh In the 70s, they're like oh no, I'm an actor. I'm just having sex It's if you really get into acting right to just really be in the role. Yeah, why aren't you Why aren't you gonna get all the way in the role just like you have to hey? I'm gonna play a homeless guy. I'm gonna go sleep on a homeless great Right how it did is your commercial auditions dude. Okay. Uh, I got a Saturday live My my Saturday live edition they love it when two guys kiss on Saturday live. I got to fuck my best friend That's how you get the show and and and to this day Jimmy Fallon has been a treasure, right? I don't know if his best friend is probably an old band-aid and want to deal with, but you see what I'm saying, you get the point. Yeah, I understand, like actors are serious about what they do. They got bottom fever, you might say. So can I show you, do you watch White Lotus? You're from a, you've been around a lot of elitist kind of like White Lotus. Sam Rockwell, did anybody watch this on actual White Lotus? Okay, you saw it when it came out. Which Sam Rockwell talking to his friend about his- Wait, I just want to watch it. But put the video up, yeah, put the video up. Okay, Sam Rockwell. So he improb this, okay, it's important to understand that he improb this. And he's on interviews talking about. He's like, yeah, it just came out of me. Oh my God. Well, you know, I moved here because, so I put out an ad looking for a white guy, my age, come over and fuck me. Look at that. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So they thought in porn in the 70s, they were doing real acting. I just, I don't know, even you're talking, I just, I mean, I just wait just one of the most incredible moments of acting I've ever seen in my life. So I don't know what you're going about. Well, because Walt Goggins, I did not fucking- Walt Goggins holding his laugh the whole time. You know, Sam Rockwell, just fucking lay down some one of the most bizarre improvs. I know Kurt, not everything's horrible. You know, that like some things are beautiful. Like sometimes I feel like you're, you're worldview. Well, that has to arguably be the best seen in cinema, right guys? Like, I've never- Well, HBO show. I mean, it's not TV, but it's not, you know, it's HBO, but- Can we pull up a Vajankal? Do I got addicted to Vajankals? But we just had to act that good, you know? And then like, you know, like my podcast is training on Spotify. I get, I get a four at all these Vajankals off team. And what if I get them all, you know, videos that smuggled a Vajankal? Then I'm like, am I a Vajankal? I'm like, yo, I want you to fuck my feet. Why the scar? What the fuck? What is this? What? This is the shit that makes me feel like what your thing is real? Like, what is that? I'm showing the inside, showing you what you're getting. Oh, okay. Well, that's pretty good. It looked like some kind of foot parasite that you get in the jungle. This is horrible. You know what I'm talking about is gold. The penis work. Where's gold? And dude, what if you just like- Oh my god. Left in your bed, two feet with vaginas on the soles of sticking out of the covers for your wife to see what you got. No. It's dick butt. Pull up the date. Pull up the dick butt. Wait, that's because we have a giant and not a butt. Pull up dick butt. This is like the classic tattoo. Everyone knows about this. Clearly, this inspired that dick butt. I don't know about this. You never know about dick butt. It's like a dick with a- I think you told me that guy goes around. He goes around and talks to kids. What if that's what the aliens look like? Yeah, that's a great point. Would you believe him? Well, I'll tell you something. Look at that. You know what I've always wanted a dick with a pussy in it. Dude, I sent you those pictures from Joseph von Hammer, Perch, those Templar books where they talked about- I mean, it's not far off of this. They would do a thing towards the end of their life like Heaven's Gate. So, you know, there's castration cults with their legs. Yes. So the Templars on the graves, they have it where they're like standing with their legs crossed all funny. I know I texted to you and they're like, and then they're standing on things that are supposed to be like animals or demons with a clearly a cock and balls. It's stupid. They got fully- they got the I don't know how you call this a consultant, but they got the baptism by fire and where they take everything off and it leaves an upside-down Mickey Mouse fucking imprint. I remember when you told me that. It's the worst thing I've ever heard my life. I know. It's like if you're saying if someone was castrated sat on a printer, it would look like that. It would look like Mickey Mouse. If someone if someone who's dick, right, that's what you're saying. If like you get your- if you get cast- Coaching the penis. Yeah, this isn't- we're not talking about a 10-gay. Can we pull up black and white picture of Mickey Mouse just to people understand or like this terrible thing Metzger told me that I- And he's got a widow's peak like a Dracula. So this- so this is basically like if you- look I just think that Mickey Mouse was just a fun way to teach kids about blackface. The silhouette's perfect. So in this case, what are the ears, man? Are they the legs? Mickey Mouse gas mask. I like the best. You see that? No. Put Mickey Mouse gas mask. Oh yeah, to make kids feel better in the bunkers. Yeah, Mickey Mouse gas mask. Hey kids, don't worry about that. That is creepier. Hey, what's wrong kids? Everything's fine. We're just in the bunker right now. Everything's cool. Have you ever heard a cyclone be? Hey kids. Well, I mean a holy shit. Well, some of these aren't the original. The original is like wacky as hell, dude. That's it. The black and white would down there. Is that it? Yeah. Hey kids, you're not in hell. Haha. Do you feel like you're in hell? You're not. Haha. Yeah, dude. I think that's one of the funnest things I think I've ever seen besides a smoking vest when it works. The smoking vest of the best. So wait. Oh, nice. Get some. Oh, I wish I had a Mickey Mouse gas mask so I could inhale this gas. Wait, so what was the last thing we're going to do after that beautiful white lotus store? You had it. I heard Stopped Ganger. Okay. Now this is mystery. This is a real mystery. So one of my friends sent me this the other day saying that I have an Irish right wing doppelganger. Yeah. And sent me this, dude. And like, I just want to say this like I feel like that must be a real person. But some part of me, I don't know. It's paranoia, but I keep it. Is that AI? Is the AI? He's real, right? That's a real dude. It just looks like me. A lot of Irish look like they're fake, you know, because you know, look, I've said this on it many. What do you mean? I'm saying. What do you mean the Irish look like they're fake? Because like you know, that means I look, I'm real. There's only two outcomes. Vijay and uh, boy that deal. He usually got destroyed by Jay and uh, it looks like a lesbian couple destroyed this black guy. Looks like they fucking rehab pit bulls together. Don't they got him? What happened to the, don't wait. That guy called Jay and I'll see. That is funny. You should deal easily. I don't know what if he stopped reading or something. Okay. So this guy, now right wing Duncan, who I got to say, I think he makes a lot of sense. What, right, right wing me. Yeah. This might be the, the mix up of this parent, volunteer sponsor, Duncan versus the stuff. Look, I know. In some people are the extreme violence. I get a foreign national tries to be head of white man on the streets of Belfast. That's what you do. So a foreign national. Yeah, it's an Irish man on the streets of Belfast. No more of a joke from her last night. Did you follow that? What? Then burning down Belfast on the street of Belfast. They, they had an Irish man. Okay, wait, let's, um, look at right wing Duncan's views. It's so same. I could seem pretty eye color. Thank you. Same beard grain. That's the weirdest part. It's like we are our beard. I would say. Yeah. He has a lighter eye. If you wanted to just lighten your eyebrows and go on the lamb, you could be this guy who will go. I was at these YouTubers seem to miss out on is that the services aren't there to protect and help these people. If the Irish government or the British government allocated 20% of the budget that they used to bring in foreign nationals that like to be head people, just 20% of that budget. So maybe put on hold for maybe two or two months, giving new apartments and bringing houses to him. Your Irish national leg comes over on a dingy jumps off the windows. I just know not in Ireland. The home. This one's so funny is Ireland gets the biggest bullshit. All the worst of the Globo fucking like Globo homo, which doesn't mean gay. I mean, homo homogene. They call Globo, homo, globalist fucking nonsense talk. Right. Um, all the worst of Davos. I, in fact, I would say every atrocity that you could think of, they tested out on the Irish. Why? Why? Because the British are fucks, dude, what you want? Serpent race, you know? Pull up Belfast on fire. This was just last night. After this bad thing, they started to. ♪ Learning 'cause a Irishman was and it had sold out ♪ - But you know about this, I'm sure you know about this. You know about all this shit, but like, so basically what's happening here is landlords get money from the Irish government, I guess, to put up immigrants. And so this was like a targeted thing where they just went and started burning down. - 'Cause this is like Braveheart. In Braveheart member, they were like, - Right from the list. - They were almost Scott learners to make Scott. Now that's by the way, fictitious, the premonaut, that's not, that's made up, but they didn't do that. 'Cause he would stand for that, you know first night. - Yeah, that's bullshit. It's, I don't know what that's from, but it's not from there and they just stuck it in. It's a big, okay, that was real. - I mean, I'm sure shit like that happened, but it was-- - But it wasn't like-- - There was no institution. - Yeah. - How would you break that to the people like, you can't sell them on colonization as well, I would say. But they did do that anyway. They would fucking-- - Sure. - What are you gonna do about it? Like if the king decides to bang your wife, what are you gonna do? - Well, they're doing this. So, all those, all like the, and again, I'm not trying to take away from 'cause they do great work. A lot of these, you know, great people in tech and the people that wanna have their own island with underground tunnels. - Yeah, of course. - That are reasonable things a lot of people wanna have. - Of course, he doesn't want an island. - You don't wanna have island with tunnels? Name one person, you know. - Everyone wants an island with tunnels. I mean, that's across-- - If we're gonna get to the Venetian City State System that we are hoping to have. - Yeah. - We need to break down alchemically every country. Number one, get the fucking Irish to fuck out of Ireland. Just goes there from there. What the fuck is that? What is that? - What is that? Oh, an island tunnel. - Oh, maps for kids. - It's in the Faroe Islands. It's like the tunnels are there. - I think I found my snosses. Thank goodness. - Oh, sure. I found it. Okay, so wait. So Davos, all that shit. Oh, I'm gonna have to ask Eric. We should get Eric to honest. I want to ask him 'cause 20 years ago, he wrote a paper on how to flood. To how to flood migrants without people getting mad. - What? - I'm paraphrasing it badly. I'm sure he'll explain it better than I am. But, you know, he works for a hedge fund people. - You have to do with physics. - Physics. No, it has to do with flooding migrants into Europe. And also America. China, they want us to be China, do you know that? That's the goal, is China. This is for us to be like China. That's why when you go, hey, I don't think all my waters should go to this AI center that's being used to spy on me and turn my car off and shit. - Right. - They go, do you want China to win? - Right. - 'Cause China's way ahead. - Way ahead. - It's not even as fucked up as we are actually. So, so they wanted to be like China. And so China never needed to be mass migration to break them down, right? The Chinese Communist Party is famous. They're famous for putting them all somewhere over some, you know, Taiwan has all the preserved old kind of shit. - I got you. - I got you. - And the goal is that mall world kind of fucking thing. - It's like a successful generational brainwashing. It's like, it's what it looks like. - Everybody's, the goals are one world government. We just want to get the Star Trek. I don't know why you got that. You think Star Trek doesn't have mass surveillance? You think that they're not consi being spied on in the utopian world of Star Trek? - There's not a private mode in the holodeck. Everybody knows. - Yeah, they probably don't even think that you're golf. - Right. - You know, they don't need an egg anymore. - Right. - But I don't know what they do. They go the holodeck and do-- - You go fuck on the holodeck, 100%. - I wonder in Star Trek, like, would they observe your holodeck records? - Yes. It's like, you have to go to somewhere on the ship and act like you're not going in there to fuck. They have like a space rabbi that owns the holodeck. - The holodeck. - Only that only deck. (laughs) It's like, you could have a holodeck and some-- - The floors are sticky on the holodeck. Like, no one ever goes in there and does it. - I want a holodeck and I have a foot with a vagina and the sole of it. But I don't want you to ask questions, holodeck. Just make what I asked. And don't put it on the rack, I have whatever. - But you're saying, like, the whole thing is pushing the world to be like this sort of completely, you just forget history, whatever. - Yeah, right. So then you don't need time travel. You know, if I just, like, hide, if you just don't know any history, it's like I reset time. I don't need a tag, except-- - That is so fucked up. - Yeah, so, and then I could throw a bunch of bullshit out, you know, like, fucking Targaryen mud floods and that were shit. - Right. - And I have to people get off on that exit and it's cool, dude, you know? - That's so crazy. - Yeah, that's a real, uh-- - It's real, I mean, and it wouldn't, I mean, if you were willing to be like, completely Machovellian, you could do that. It wouldn't be that hard to do. - Well, I'm just glad good people are in charge and I wanna thank our friends at Tenga. - Thank you, Tenga. - Uh, that boy, it's the stretchable egg, that-- - Check out the new mystery. - What is their slogan again? They had a wonderful slogan. - Masturbate better, simple, beautiful. - Different strokes for different yolks. Now that's good. - Love freedom and take. - Open, use, close, and dispose. Now come on, dude, what more could you ask for? And then your discarded eggs, I think you should recycle them into Pokemon, myself. But that's just my opinion. What do you say in the comments? (laughing) - Guys, like. - We wanna know what you think in the comments. Down below. - What do you think about the book of gals? - What do you think about rubbing tortoise blood on an ape's vagina? Like and subscribe, leave a comment below. - Oh, is this really some kind of deep occult knowledge? Yes, that's all it is. - Yeah. - Imagine the grossest things you ever heard in your life, you just heard them on our show. (laughing) - Dude, what magic is? That's why they gotta build the whole Disney amusement park around it 'cause it's that gross. - You mean the America is the amusement park? - No, America's a big peedry dish for the great work which will be the world government, but Disney, that guy Moon has a great video on it now. 'Cause Ford had a 15 minute city for rubber in Brazil that it's like he pays you better than any other job, right? But he's in your life. Are you smoking? - A lot of time. - Yeah, and that's, so they've all these fucking dipshit kinda oligarch dudes out of that fucking bio-shock game. All of these people have the same idea, which is like a town of freedom. - Didn't RFK say everyone should have a wearable? Did you see that? He was saying like, people everyone should be putting wearables. - And he said I should save raccoon penis as I find and I have been. Look, I'm not against it. RFK has a new animal adventure every other day. - Every day. - But how many raccoon penis is as he collected? - I don't know, but I, look, the guy knows his stuff on science until Trump got in and he has to not say the things he knows anymore. - Yeah. - It's like, hey, do you wanna get it? Look, we're thinking about sometime phasing out fast, that shit that makes the frogs gay eventually. Thosfin, where the fuck's that was? - We don't get to it. - Monsanto juice. - Yeah. - We can't take it out of the shit now, right away, even though it's killing you. - It's time. - It'll destroy the economy. - Yeah. - You want the economy ruined, 'cause you're killing your country. - 'Cause your kids got no taints and their balls and their assholes touched out. - Big deal. - They don't know what the fuck gay is. - No, we deal. - They think all these things are just like not gay, they're gay and nobody knows what the fuck anything is. - So it's just like, it's just-- - Like a goddamn cowfeet is somebody jammed bloody doughin' with their cock, that's what this country is. And you look at it and you die from being cursed. And that's the sad esoteric truth. - Yeah. - Brought to you by Tenguegg. - Yeah, Tenguegg. - Must have been better. Thank you, Tenguegg. He's offered good mystery to get. (audience laughing) - To get-- - Offer good mystery to get five percent off. - Your son's stuff. - Next, Tengue's sleeve. Your next Tenguegg carry in case. - It's an ape's vagina smeared with tortoise blood. - There's a lot of poetry in that. - Yeah. This is a good show, man. I think this is good. - Maybe that was just an allegory. - What? The tortoise blood or the ten? - Yeah, like maybe one of them represents something-- - It then represents shit. - Something with the whole-- - That's like, no, that was what they were doing back then. - It represents our adventures in Eastern Europe. - 100%. I don't think that's any kind of code. I think that's real. I think we're rubbing-- - You gotta know what you're getting with it. That's pretty clear. All right. - Again, don't forget to go to tenguegg.com to get one of our special mystery boy eggs. - Oh, that's another mystery boy. - So, I was not real asking for eggs. I was thinking, "Yeah, what's bigger fun?" "Yeah, what's bigger fun?" (upbeat music) ♪ Mystery boys are so cute ears for you ♪ ♪ Betty Kuhraki, the green gloomy catch ♪ ♪ Spooky ghosts for me, sex fighter ♪ ♪ Frankard and style an attack with you, baby ♪