The Newborn Stage: Hemorrhage Scare & Sleep Deprivation

Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Let me tell you the seasons are changing. It's starting to be time that we can get out our denims again. We can get out our sweaters and there is no better place than Quince. So many of the things I'm constantly reaching for in my closet to layer up, dress up, dress down, come from Quince because they have very, very high quality products. I'm talking 100% Mongolian cashmere. They have silk organic cotton wool. They have those premium fabrics but at an amazing price. Everything at Quince is actually priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and that is because they work directly with ethical factories, cutting out the middle man so you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Actually just last night Matt was telling me that he grabbed his shorts. I don't fit my clothes. I've been hitting the gym and so I need new clothes. He bought me Quince swim trunks that are really high quality. I wear them all the time when we go on the pool with the boys. I'm excited to see which he picks out from Quince for me next. Your nice khaki shorts are from Quince. With the khaki that I wear like literally every day. Yep. Those are from Quince. You don't even know where your clothes are from but if you had to guess they're probably from Quince because I love shopping their min section as well for Matt. You can wear them in many different ways for many different seasons. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that unplanned sent you. It's the best way to support the show. Can we make a new rule? Don't say anything that's not nice. No farting there. It's holding our baby bottle leaning over it. It was so much blood that we were like you hemorrhaging. You took the placenta pills and what happened. It could be a total coincidence. I felt a million times better and my physical symptoms also changed. We told my parents that they couldn't stay with us because with our old system we are using the gas bedroom so that I could get some sleep in the night. Abby could get some sleep in the night with our new system. We're both not getting any sleep in the night. Hey real quick before we get started I wanted to let you know that one free way you can help us out and help us grow our show is by subscribing. Only about 35% of you guys are subscribed so if you can just check real quick to make sure that you are subscribing to show that would mean so much to us. Thank you seriously from the bottom of our hearts for being here. It means a lot that you're coming back each and every week to listen to the new episodes that we've worked so hard on and without further ado enjoy the episode. What's up dudes? Welcome back to the unplanned podcast. Yeah baby. I had my second cup of coffee at the day. I'm actually at the stage of exhaustion where I really feel caffeine. Yeah. I really feel it and I really look forward to it. Thank goodness you can have a little bit more caffeine when you're nursing than when you're pregnant. See why? No one talks about that shift. Why does the caffeine like sometimes just it just like zaps my energy? I think that could be an ADHD. I feel like it's the crash like it's like I have I feel good for like five minutes and then it's like I'm more tired. Really? Yeah. I feel like that's what happens. I have an energy drink but coffee just feels like that good energy. Energy drinks definitely do that to me. Yeah I don't know. I have my you can have 300 milligrams of caffeine when you're nursing. I still stick to pretty much 200 but it does feel like a feels so good to have it now that we're in this stage where you know sleep isn't necessarily what it was. At the time of recording this it's been three weeks to the day since Abby gave birth to little fishy. I feel great. I do feel really good. Feeling pretty good? Yeah. What do you think is the reason that you feel so good? Because I feel like this has been your best postpartum experience ever. Well if I'm doing me to be real real. Be real real. I think it's just the fact that we're seasoned. Like we've we've done this before. Okay. But there's also a lot of other factors that contribute to it. Probably like the fact that we have an awesome community. The fact that you know I had a like a more positive birth experience we have before. We have like a not-callic baby. I aid my placenta. Abby's actively eating my placenta. Which is actually crazy. Why are we saying eating? Well what's the other way to saying it? Taking. Okay but the thing is like babe your placenta was huge and then after it was dehydrated it like it shrinks it down to be super duper tiny. I'm still going to be taking those pills for like months. I know what's crazy is like no one explained that to me. Your placenta was like as big as it was like bigger than my head. Did she say it was normal size? It's totally normal size. Yeah. She said it was normal. Huge huge dinner plate size organ. Yeah. Had gestational diabetes and she said that made her placenta much larger and she also had it encapsulated and she's like it was just way too many pills. I just can't believe that all the pills all the placenta pills fit into a jar that's like the size of my fist. Bigger than that. Okay two fists. A fist and a half. Yeah. Maybe it's a lot of pills and you can only take two a day and it's like this is going to take a long time. Yeah but you're cracking and cracking away at it. I think okay here's the deal. When Abby can you share the most the really interesting thing that happened when you like right away when you started taking your placenta. Okay yeah I don't know I don't think we talked about it on on playing because we'd already filmed that episode but yeah like 10 or 11 days postpartum so like we can have. I think I might have gotten a little bit to you know there's like a high that you're on and then you're like I'm just gonna keep going. Yeah. I think I got a little too excited did too much which they always say like just rest just rest but that's easier said than done for someone like me and also for someone with two other toddlers in the house and that day I was experiencing like kind of. Oh you're bleeding a lot. Yeah I was kind of bleeding a lot. It was it was so much blood that we were like are you hemorrhaging? Like what's going on? We asked AI I were like hey what should we do? It was like go to the hospital immediately and we're like okay that sounds like a bit. No you were like trying to get me to go. For a little bit there because I wasn't like fully understanding what was happening so I was like hey I rather you know drop whatever it is on the ambulance or whatever just make sure I don't know I'm just like at the end of the day your health and safety is way more important than a medical bill and so it's just like what do we need to do but then we came to realize that okay it was just these weren't the post these were like regular pads that you were. They weren't like medical grade that's the thing that like made me like convince you that it wasn't as serious. I didn't specify to AI that you were soaking through regular pads not medical grade ones because it like I think the AI thought that you were like gonna die. It was a little bit yeah I think out there was abnormal that's the thing like the things that were happening we won't get into too much details but like it was a little bit outside of normal obviously postpartum so many things can happen and so many things are are considered normal but I was like we'll just watch it closely for the night and then the next day it still really wasn't much better yeah and then you came home with the pills and you took the placenta pills and what happened. My bleeding like was drastically reduced. How crazy is that guy. All anecdotal. It's all and here's the thing it could be a total coincidence but I'm just saying I felt a million times better and I had physical like my physical symptoms also changed. Was that before like had you been resting before that like that what because I had you start resting. Yeah and then that day you were like you're literally stay on this couch and I did I stayed on the couch for like two days and we even went to a birthday party and I literally sat the whole time. I felt so rude but I just like didn't I stayed seated and horizontal for like two days and this was in conjunction with taking the placenta pills. Yeah just focusing more on like slowing down resting, healing, recovering and that I mean I feel like I did a 180 after that. Yeah it was disclaimer if you're bleeding a lot after giving birth definitely take that super seriously. They tell you before you leave the hospital what to look for. We're not doctors but I feel like a lot of people know about the hemorrhaging thing how dangerous it can be but you did it. You did hemorrhage. Yeah okay why did they tell me that. They told us in hindsight. Oh okay. Yeah they get it to stop. They do a really weird thing. You don't want to stay on the podcast. I mean I say a lot of things on this podcast it's fine. Okay um they put something in your bottom. You're kidding me. Yeah I'm not kidding. That gets the hemorrhaging stop. I don't know what it's a pill but put it in there. That's crazy. She just told me that casually. I was like you're gonna tell me that after the fact. What I learned from Randy who edits this very podcast is he told me that they'll put like a piece of placenta in mom's mouths like when they're giving birth if they're doing like an at-home natural birth. Apparently that could even in some ways stop bleeding or stop hemorrhaging. Not crazy. Have you ever heard of that? No. Where like women will put a piece of their placenta in the mouth in their mouth. What? That's like a that's more like a natural like way of doing things. Again that don't like we're not doctors okay. See that's because of things that you do you're we're gonna do it on our fourth birth. That's the progression. Just get back to our mammal roots more so each time. Yeah um any who I think I think the pills are working honestly. I know. I really do. I think just the bleeding alone that I do it again. That's crazy and um side note I mean the fact that we have the community that we have now we did not have a meal train for Griffin and Augie's birth. You know what I think we might have actually. Maybe like a really small maybe it was like a handful or maybe it was just like not formally like with the meal train website like people would just would bring us some of our friends would bring us but wow people now her friends are crazy yeah we've been haven't I mean we're they're wrapping up so we're the meal train is three weeks out yeah but we had three weeks of dinner every night is insane like that and so many other random drop-offs of bread and muffins and flowers and yeah stuff for the boy like it's been so generous so generous and so I'm so grateful yeah I think that right there is it's like hard to almost accept you know what I mean where you're like I just I can't like you've done so much like please it's okay thank you I mean in my opinion I think that's been the most transformative transformative like uplifting part of all of this because doing something alone going through going through something really hard alone is it just makes it ten times worse and for you to have like all your girlfriends that are like pouring into you cheering for you checking in on you yeah so many people me me having other dads that like we don't I mean I feel like other dads we don't get as deep as you ladies do but just just at least like knowing that we have each other deeper I guess we could I guess we should but you know it's just it's just good to to know that we have people there for us seriously and that has been incredible seriously I mean it changes everything and I just I just hope I wish every mom could have this now that being said we have been going through a little bit of a sleep regression sort of thing after the first live tiny came alive I feel like he yeah he realized that he was on planet Earth and he's like oh I got it I got it he's like I got to order these guys stuff up let's just start waking up all the time it's only right it's only appropriate and it's just it's it's it's sweet because I'm like this is literally I can hear like he's fitting right in that's exactly what we want honestly he's just a normal newborn yeah just a normal guy he's got opinions he's got things he does not want to be said out actually I saw this quote-on Pinterest and I screenshot it I'm gonna show you it's weird though we're getting less sleep now three weeks out than we were the first week totally which I I think you know again comparatively everything has been so much better than the first two times but it's weird how it's like it's like he was doing a little trick you know like the first week he was like a dream he was just so sleepy just know this quote right here Matt it says the babies that come into this world not wanting to be put down are born to the mommas who need to slow down so you got to slow down is what we're learning and he's forcing me to slow down it's really great I love that guy actually hate that he's not here right now he's taking that I know yeah he's sleeping let's hope we have fingers fingers crossed I need to run in a minute yeah but yeah no he's come alive he's got his preferences and it's all very normal all very that's the thing we're season now yeah thank you to chili pad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode we really need our sleep especially in this newborn stage we're in we talk about postpartum sweats and that's exactly why I want to tell you about the chili pad 2.0 by sleep me it is the most advanced version yet of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty the chili pad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water it's a thermostat for your bed fans just move hot air around your bedroom but the chili pad uses actively chilled water to cool the bed actively pulling away heat from your body and it works with your existing mattress with the Phoenix heat that we've been having living in Arizona it's just so nice to know that we can cool our bed to the temperature that we want so visit www.sleep.me/unplanned to get up to $255 off your chili pad 2.0 with code unplanned this special offer is available for the unplanned podcast listeners and only for a limited time order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days you can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial visit www.sleepslep.me/unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again but with the sleep regression that's been occurring with the lack of sleep we've been we've been switching things up in the night recently we tried something new last night yes we completely abandoned our original postpartum plan that we had I think the original plan was like after the first week I was like kind of full on like toddler duty with the three and four-year-old and like I mean I've been I guess I'm double dipping now because I think the whole idea was like yeah I'll come like at five or six a.m. whenever you know whenever you do your last like night feed I would then take Fisher and then wake up for boys I think I could I think if I I think if I went to bed with the with our toddlers at like eight o'clock I think waking up but oh yeah five a.m. if you go to bed at eight o'clock is not oh you're you're planning on leaving me for the whole night that I think that was the original plan but we've kind of abandoned oh yeah we got to be completely abandoned that plan because because when I nurse him in the night he's literally just like okay let's do this for an hour and then I'm gonna be so snuggly with mom that the second she puts me down that's just not gonna fly and then I just don't sleep at all so what we were what we were doing is we would do a bottle feed around like nine thirty to like get this kid just full of milk which by the way he's only three weeks out of today he's been he's been shugging four ounces of milk in a single feed for the past like five days six days it's impressive this kid can eat some food and then and then you know we do another feeding this is as more recently so you know nine thirty feed then we do another feed around like one a.m. because this pediatrician said he could go four four to five hours without you know four and a half four and a half I stick to that that's something that I like really stick to anyway so then we do another feed then but then the problem that we ran into like a week ago was he would not like he would just be like up for the day at like four thirty and five that and then he would also wake up quite a bit around like the one o'clock to four thirty time so I started Abby started sleeping in the guest bedroom from like two a.m. till five a.m. one one a.m. to four thirty and kind of like in that range yeah and then once I once he was like ready to eat again at like you know four thirty five thirty I would go and get Abby and then I would go in the guest bedroom yeah and then wake up with the boys when they wake up around you know six six thirty is when they start making noise but they're out of bed at six forty five anyway all that being said that was what we used to do and then we just tried to make completely it completely I was gonna ask you how did that work for you last night uh dang it it worked amazing for me you know I think that's a that's the thing is like I just you know it's not about me so whatever I need to do to support you at this time because you just gave birth to our baby like I'm going to do you know yeah thank you that worked out so good for me I finally got I like to my watch and I got let's just see right here consulting consulting the smart watch seven hours and eight minutes you got seven hours yes oh that's so good I mean I was fully asleep at like nine nine twenty one p.m. let's go and I was up for the day at five forty five we only woke up twice to feed nice nice but that how did you I think I just not get good sleep I think I just don't sleep I actually so I just don't sleep good I take my my smart watch off at night because it's really it really effs with my head when I look at how much sleep I got the next day like especially when so I had insomnia like a year and a half ago and when I would look at my watch and see like oh four hours a sleeper they say wearables can mess with you it really mess with my brain so I just have decided I don't even want to know how much sleep I got I don't care if it's three hours or six I don't care like I'm not gonna I don't want to know yeah did you wear that last night I take it off every night I always do watch off because you were in bed longer than me yeah I was I just think you can't go back to sleep as well that's true you can you fall asleep so quickly yeah and I just like lay there like I woke up and I was like I feel energized let's go let's go feel good what we'll do I also just had a cup will continue to do the new method the only reason I say that is because it our kid can eat a bottle so much faster than he can nurse and so then he just goes back to sleep way better and we're not up for the day at 4.30 he go he woke up at 5.45 today for me this makes it feel like we like never talk each other which we talk all the time okay we were just around each other 24 seven but I feel like for me either a if I'm waking up multiple times the night I want the ability to sleep in or B so that was I say a that was a 1 and B okay that was option number one either if I'm waking up a lot in the night I want to be able to sleep the freaking option two is if I get to sleep through the night I can wake up at 5 a.m. whatever you know whatever time I'll take my little unissum or or melatonin not myself the freak out at like eight o'clock and if that baby wants to wake up at 4.45 I'm up for the day you know is that is that overly ambitious You're shaking your head. - I think we can't do that right now. - Okay, all I'm saying is-- - I like seeing you at one a.m. and four a.m. - That's the thing is, I think you probably get lonely doing feedings by yourself. So I think you have a nice support. - I know, I feel so spoiled, because most husbands are sleeping through the night and the wife just does it, especially when you're nursing, 'cause they're like, it's just easier for me to do it by myself and I get that, but it's not easier for me to do it by myself. It's easier for me to do it with you. - 100%. - Just because the bottle thing. - It gets to bed quicker, 'cause he will nurse for like 45 minutes to an hour in the night 'cause he's falling asleep. He's so cozy with me. - Yeah. - But then, and then he doesn't, then I wrap him up and put him in bed and he's like, wait, where's mom? I was just snuggling with her for the past hour. - Totally. - Whereas when he just has a bottle with you, he, that takes 20 minutes. - Totally. - For you to feed him, diaper change, re-swaddle, finish feeding him back in bed. - Yeah. - He goes back to sleep way better. - You're right, we definitely do have a good, we have a good situation. - Good to see him, yeah. - Yeah. Well, I'll do whatever I need to do for as long as I need to do it. - Thank you. - Because you're my, you're my greater love. You're my greater good, you're the love of my life. - He won't be waking up through the night. Actually, it was really sweet. You texted me the other day. Tiny was having a really hard time calming down. And you texted me, I'm gonna read your text 'cause they were so sweet. Oh, that. You also, do you realize you texted me the query? - Drive me, like what did I say? - I can't read this. - What did you say? You have a nice, you have a nice. - I can't, like that's just something that you just texted me today at 10, 15 PM on a two day. - Sorry, I like to compliment you. It's wrong with that. - Oh, nice, but it's just so random. Like I feel like I have to hide my text. Like I can't show my mom stuff on my phone, the text. Oh yeah, this is what you said. You're my love and you're so important to me. And I love the sweet life we're building with our boys. This newborn stage is temporary. It's only going to get easier. That's so sweet, Matt. - I love you. - You text me really nice stuff all the time. You're a really nice guy. - I think you're a really nice girl. - But it's so nice, like having that perspective, like saying like this newborn stage is temporary. Life for their boys is so sweet. - Oh yeah. - And I feel like that also has made a really big difference. It's just like a total perspective shift because it's like, yeah. - I did say to you the other day, I was like, when Fisher is the age that Griffin's at right now, I will be 32 years old, which sound like-- - So that sounds old, okay? - That's a man right there. - A man. - And you're 30s. I've literally known you since you were 17. - Wait, 14. - 13 or 14? - Wait. - I think it was 14. - 14 to 17, I've known you. - It was the summer of 2013. - And it's very different from 32. - Yeah, goodness. - You just keep getting better too. Like you, like people are like noticing, like you're filling out. You're looking manly. - Thank you. - You mastered your hair cut. - I started actually getting haircuts is what I started doing. - Of course, so many things. That's what I'm saying. Like we've just become a better team. You know what I learned at the barber last week? People get their hair cut every week. There are some guys that literally go to the barber every week. I've been like a once every three months guy in my whole life until like a year, it should go. I, no. I started learning like two years ago that I should get more haircuts. And then now I go every month. But I think it makes a big difference. I really do. - Yeah. Well those guys might be using like the actual like razor blade. Like getting it really-- - True. - So this skin there. - And I did the math to see like what that would cost if you go to the barber that often. And it's like, that'd be like $3,000 a year just on your hair. - Well, think about what women spend on maintenance. Holy cow. - But I guess there's women that talk that. - Nails. - Manacure and pedicure. People get their hair done. All the women, like that, but it's like highlights. - Yeah. - Some women get like facials, Botox, spray tans. - What else people get done? - Waxing. Oh my gosh, the hair removal. - See, for me for the longest time, I was just stuck in this mindset of how do I spend as least the least amount of money as possible on my hair. And so I would get, you know, - You know what I did say that I'm kind of a hypocrite on? - What? - I said if we have a third boy I'll learn how to cut boy's hair. And I kind of want to take that back. Maybe at some point I'll try. I did, like, think I wanted to learn how to do that and I just still haven't done it. - I can't imagine getting them to sit still. - That's probably the hardest part. - They do it. - Well, you just put on a show. You just try not on Paw Patrol. - I guess so. - And then you're good to go. - That's the answer. - Yeah. - Also Paw Patrol movie. - We did go and see that before. - That was so good. - Huge hit. Huge success. I love that Snoop Dogg was in it. I like immediately recognize those boys from the start. - The soundtrack is pretty good. - Yeah. - It was very cool. - I was entertained. - Did you know that Terry Cruz was like the bad guy? He was one of the villains. He was the, he was the explosive expert that was there to harvest the diamonds off of Dino Island, whatever the place was called. - You're kidding. - Yep. They had a lot of things to do with you. - I saw him in the ads, but I didn't put two and two together. - Backstreet Boys did the song. They were in the soundtrack for the movie. I actually really enjoy, I keep listening to that song with kids. - That's why it's popping up on the Spotify. - It's great. It's a great song. I used to think the Backstreet Boys were so cool when I was little. I wanted to be the Backstreet Boys. That's probably where all this desire for wanting to be in the show business at a young age and meeting you doing a theater, probably started with me being a fan of the Backstreet Boys. - Oh, see, you couldn't be a part of a boy band though, unless you were like the lead. - What, what do you say that? - 'Cause you are a, you're a solo act man. - I'm a solo act? - Yeah. - I don't know if that's a compliment or a gift. - It's a compliment. Who wants to be like the random one that everyone forgets? - True, yeah, I guess you're right. I could see one of our boys getting into the arts just with how like they love to put on a show, especially Augie. - I always think about this. I'm like, what if one of them wants to do sports? What are we gonna do? - What do we mean? - We don't know about sports. - We know about sports, Abby. - I mean they do little sports, but I don't know what you think about it. - It's not, I mean like. - We went to the park to their day and they were doing flag football practice. And I was like, I just don't see you. I was like a football coach. - I did football for like a month in sixth grade. - So did you get a coach? - I like fully under, yeah, I basically could coach the team. I fully understand it. - It was really cute. They are grown up. - Yeah. - Except they are regressing just a little bit. Which is very normal, very normal. But there's been a new found interest in like all of a sudden. Now they wanna ride in a stroller. Which we could never get them to send a stroller. - What was up with that? We were walking to the park. The weather like cooled down to be sub 100 degrees in Arizona yesterday. - So it's basically like, wow. - Like it's so, it's almost cool. Abby put on a crew neck to go outside. - I'm wearing a suspension right now. - I'm not even kidding you guys. - It was only 90. - It was 88 degrees and I was like, I'm gonna put on a crew neck. I think I'm gonna go outside. - I had a turtle neck on. - Yeah, what is wrong with you? That was weird. - It was so weird. I think it's just 'cause I just kind of wanted something big and loose. - Anyway. - I look like I'm in the second trimester now. Not the third, so that's good. - You look incredible. You look incredible seriously. - You're so nice. - But, okay. We're walking to the park and then our oldest, who's four. - They'd go with wanting to get in the stroller. - They wanted to be in the stroller so bad. And then, we-- - And it's not even a stroller. It's literally a bassinet stroller. - It's the place that you put your like backpack underneath the bassinet. And so, like-- - They're riding in that. - He's just riding at the very base of this thing. - Why not? - On the park and then they fought over who could ride in that on the way back. And they see all the attention. - They're interested in binkies, re-interested in just like all the baby stuff. - Yeah. - So, you know, that's just something that, I feel like happens universally. Like your older kids start to look back and they're like, "Wait a minute." - But we're trying to avoid the binkies. - I do feel so sad though. - What? - This is what's hard is I say I'm booby trapped, which I am. I'm booby trapped most of the day. Nursing. And then they're like, "Mom, come at me." They literally were like, "Be bowser, chase me. Do this, do this, do this. Come look at this, come in my clubhouse." Like all these things and I'm like, I hate every time being like, "Okay, well, I have to finish doing this with baby fissure." And then I'll come, or not right now. It's not a good time. I have to change his diaper or he's sad. He needs me right now. Like I hate that. That makes me sad. - Yeah. - That's some mom guilt for you. - I've been trying really hard to not say no to our kids. Like even if I'm in the middle of like the work day, and trying to get caught up on things, like just recognizing that, you know, me taking the time out of my day to go. - It's confusing for them. - It's confusing for them though. Because like today I was trying to get things done and they just kept coming. - They just love playing with me. - They want me to be bound. - You're so good about playing with them. - Thanks. - And so they're like, they think you'll do it. Like you can do it literally anytime 'cause you do it so much with them. And so, wholeheartedly. - I've been trying to teach them though. I'm like, "Do you know I have to work? Do you know why I have to work?" And now Griffin's like, so we can be in our house. Like that's what he understands. So there's that. And then I'm like, so that we can go on like vacation, we can have food, you know. - Something that we have been trying to do is also just give them one-on-one attention. I think that the more kids you have, like obviously three is not like a big thing. family, but like your attention is usually like shared with your siblings, and so I've been really trying to like one-on-one with them whenever I can, and even just like I literally just hung out one-on-one with one of our boys for like 20 minutes, and you would not believe like the way that I just feel like his eyes just like lit up, and just like it meant so much, and I felt like I really got to like connect in that moment, like, and so yeah, that's just something I've been re-reminded in, like okay, even though we're in a demanding stage with a newborn, like literally three weeks old today, like it's still I can make that happen for like 20 minutes is even a lot, like you could even do it for 10 minutes, 5 minutes, and that would really make a big difference, and so that's been sweet. We just kept laughing together, I actually felt really creepy, I were in the little club house, which is like the area underneath our stairs where the kids' toys are, and I was like sitting there, I was like, we were just talking, we're cracking jokes, we're laughing, and every time we like start laughing, he would go, we're let, or we're cracking up, we're cracking up, mom, and like we were just like really having a good time, and then I was like, do you know how much I love you? And then I start crying, I'm like mommy loves you so much, and then I was like, I love you so much that it makes me cry sometimes, and I felt so creepy because I'm like, trapping him under the stairs, and like we're laughing, and then all of a sudden I'm crying, and he's like, I felt like that really creepy movie preview that we saw, we saw the Odyssey, that like really creepy mom, oh my gosh, what was that really called? Did you see that preview? You know what that's called? That was horrible. Mommy. I never want to see that, and I don't know why I thought of her. Why are they making movies like that? She has two mommies, like one mommies, the creepy mommy, and the other mommies, the other mommies. Other mommies, oh my gosh. Yeah, we should go see it. No, I want to go see it. That one actually looks really, really scary. You would be curled up on my lap the entire movie. I don't like that stuff. We saw a scary movie for our first date. We saw a horrible movie on our first date. Matt, of the genres of scary movies, demon possession is probably the worst. Sorry. That was the worst. It was a memorable date. We can't forget about it. I know I actually good thing I was not focused on the movie at all. You have to know that I was really obsessed with you because I was watching the most scary movie literally ever, and I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I remember zero things about the movie. Thank you to Branch Basics for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. 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Plus, they make it easy to subscribe for refills so you don't have to keep purchasing new products. You just refill what you have for an even simpler cleaning routine. Branch Basics is available at targettarget.com, Amazon and branchbasics.com. And for the premium starter kit, you'll get 15% off at branchbasics.com with code unplanned. That's code unplanned for 15% off the premium starter kit at branchbasics.com. After you purchase, when they ask where you heard about them, please make sure to mention our show. Switching the gears. How is pretzel a little bit adjusting? I think she's crushing it honestly. Sometimes I feel like pretzel's on crack. She's just jumping off of our couch. I got her tennis balls, like really heavy-duty tennis balls. She's ripping those up now. She rips up at least one of our kids' toys per day. But we love her. We love her so much. She literally digest at least one plastic toy. I don't even know what to do. Literally the microplastics in that girl. We put the toys away and then she literally breaks in. She knows how to open the clubhouse and goes and just. Get socks. But I think she's doing really good. Now that I'm a little bit further out, I can go on little mental health walks with Fisher. I've actually been able to take Fisher and pretzel on walks and it literally fills me with so much joy. I'm just. Does pretzel feel like your bodyguard? No, she feels. I mean, yes and no. I don't feel unsafe anyway. But she feels like. It feels so good to have her. Also, I feel like I haven't been that angry with her in this post-partum season. Definitely had a couple moments where I was like. I felt like I was like booby trapped once again and I see her eating something she shouldn't eat. And I'm like pretzel, pretzel. And I'm like. I'm gonna lose it because I'm stuck. I can't do anything about it. I found pretzel on all fours standing on top of the kitchen table yesterday. Yeah. Again? Again. Yesterday. She's a billy goat. Or was that today? Maybe that was today. See, that's part of the post-partum fog. Gosh. It hit you too. No, she is ordinary but she's a really good dog and I feel like I would be so much more mad at her if she was a barking dog and like was waking up our baby. Yeah. She literally doesn't really bark. So that has made it. I think that's what's made it so easy. If she was barking all the time, that would really bug us. But she's done so well. We put Fisher in his little bouncer and we felt like we always had to put him on an elevated surface because of pretzel. But she learned right away, like. Gotta keep my distance around this guy. She's just giving him a couple little licks on the feet and like a couple little sniffs on his head and she's. Maybe she does have some type of maternal instinct in there. She's not fixed yet, so. Everybody says that she's. Could be a mama. Everyone misgenders pretzel. They all think that she's. I know. It's a she, guys. Our dog is a she. Your dad is even. Both of our moms. But yeah, nobody can call him. It's like, it's a girl. Our dog is a girl. And she's beautiful. Yeah, she's a beautiful girl. We love her. She does. I feel like she looks very girly. Yeah. She's pretty. She does act like a boy though. She does act like a boy. Okay. Sorry, you were switching gears earlier. Yes, switching gears. Let's hear it. I was going to say. I was going to let everyone know. We've gone on a few family outings since everything. Probably mostly because it's so hot here. It's been so hot. Like we can't. We wouldn't. We would just go to the park if we could. Yeah, there's not really like a. You kind of have to go indoors with how hot it's been. Yeah. But we did a little trip to Lego land, not the Lego land in San Diego, the Lego land in Phoenix, Arizona. Is it in Tempe? Yep. It's kind of a sketchy mall that they put Lego land in. Yeah, a little sketchy. And Lego land is a bit of a stretch, but it's still a good time. It's more of like a lego meet-up spot with some indoor. It's a lego store with like an indoor play place. Yeah. But our kids loved it. That randomly has a couple rides. Yeah, they have like an indoor flying ride. You'd like fly around. But it only goes like 15 feet into the air. Perfect. We have a three-year-old four-year-old. Oh, yeah. They loved it. Griffin loved it. Aw, he didn't ride it with me. And then. No, because he was doing laser tag as he calls it. That was cute. Yeah, it was cute. I had a really good time. It was funny. I never was into Lego as a kid. I like never cared about Lego's ever, but other kids did. And I think our kids are going to be Lego kids. Oh, they're great at Lego's. Yeah. I love Lego's. I think they're great for motor skills for just so many things. Yeah, I don't know why. Put in the STEM category. Yeah. And I think it's great. Like I think doing them and knowing how all that goes together is probably really good for their their brain. They can follow the instructions too. I think it's really good. So I'm a huge fan. We've also. This wasn't as quite educational. We went to the arcade with our boys. Don't ask us how many times we played the dinosaur Jurassic Park game because our kids just kept wanting to go to that one. Any get like having boys, any game that involves like some sort of like slight remnants of violence, they're like, let's play that one. Yeah, let's go shoot the dinosaurs. I know. What's up with that? I don't like it. I don't want them to have G-U-N-S. Yeah. But they don't even call them that because we don't. Shooters. They call them shooters. Pewpeo. I want to play the shooter game. Yeah. Yeah. I try. Here's the thing. They don't have those toys, but they make them out of their legos. They make them out of sticks. They make them out of anything. Yeah. Why was it easier for our kids to play the Jurassic Park game than the Angry Birds game? Because like they. We tried the Angry Birds one and I think they just didn't quite understand that like you're trying to hit the base. I don't think they know how to play most of the games. Yeah. They probably could have gotten away with not putting any money. That's true. They did play, quote unquote, play the games for like 30 minutes without us even paying for anything. That's that. That is the hack. Take your boys to the arcade. If they're under the age of five, take them to the arcade and be like, it's free. Go play all the games. All the games are going. It's all free. Yeah. That worked. That worked for a while. I really, I actually really enjoyed that. I had fun playing the games with them. - Yeah, you went back the next night. - Yeah, we went back. - And I, me and Fisher stayed back. - I know. - I was like, that's, we're gonna rest. - Yeah, we've also been going to the aquarium. That's another like indoor activity. We can do an Arizona when it's 100 f degrees outside and we love that place. I will say, it kinda hits you when you walk in the aquarium it just smells like fish. You know, it's like you're going into a seafood market, you know? That's kind of like your dad and lad activity. I've literally never been the aquarium. - You've never been the aquarium, yeah. - You guys have gone so many times. - I know. I thought. - Yours looks like a good dad. - Thanks, I thought I was gonna get like a deal 'cause if you take, if you get your season pass at like the zoo or the aquarium and you go like before your kid turns the age that they cost, then you get that hole here for free with that kid. I literally went the day before August 3rd birthday and come to find out it actually starts costing at two. - Which is crazy. - So didn't, yeah, didn't save any money but still amazing and still worth it. I mean, we've already gotten our money's worth from the aquarium. - It's so educational, they learn a lot. They always tell me about all the animals when they come back home, they love animals. How do you feel about the fact that our sons, birthdays are officially one day apart? - That is crazy. That's actually crazy. - We're gonna have to figure this out. - And then our other sons, birthdays on a holiday weekend. - No one's birthdays getting celebrated on the day of. - I think that trying to celebrate, yeah, we learned this the hard way. So throwing a birthday party for Griffin on his actual birthday. - It's for the July weekend. No one said that. - It didn't work, nobody could come. Like it was so sad. - So sad. - Like we had a party the week before huge turnout. So many people came, it was the magic show. And then the next week because it was over a holiday weekend nobody came. - So we'll move his birthday week up. - 100% yeah. - Which is unfortunate because that's when I moved my dad's birthday. - Ah. - But no problem. - We can just forget. - We can just forget about your dad. - Yeah, actually this point is for this canceled. - When you're a dad, I think your birthday just no longer matters. - Doesn't matter. - It's like, yeah. - But then this, so our son's birthday, our second birthday is literally the day before I went into labor. So his party is now this weekend. - Yeah. - And then what are we gonna do about Fischer in the future? Oh my gosh, there's certainly all getting separate birthdays. And I'm saying this, so I stick to that because it would be so much easier to do a joint birthday. But that ain't right, that ain't right. - Can't join them up. - I mean, to each their own. But for me personally, I'm like, it's not their fault that their birthdays just fell a day apart. Like any, they should have their own party. - Yeah. - So this weekend's the pirate party. It's gonna be really fun. - I'm excited. - Katie, who is on our podcast. Yeah, Katie Church. She's making a pirate ship pinata. - That's so fun. - Filled with candy and gold coins for it. So I think that's gonna be so fun. - I love how you invited her to the party. And then she was like, I wanna make a pinata for this party. - She said pinatas are so easy. And I'm like, so easy for you. It would take my whole life. And it still wouldn't resemble pirate ship. - This is gonna be a very premium pinata that we're gonna have for this party. - Do you even know what's happening for this party? - Fill me in. Fill me in on what's happening. - Where it's a pool party. - Okay, I did know that. - Got a lifeguard. Got a bunch of diving toys that are pirate's booty. - Let's go. - That kids can jump in from a pirate's treasure chest. - Okay. - School and crossbones everywhere. The pinata, we got actual pirate's booty, the popcorn. - That's hilarious. - That'll be great. We're catering Chipotle. Gonna have a birthday cake. It's gonna be fun time. - I'm excited for that. Chipotle catering is gonna be awesome. - That was your idea. - That was my idea, and that was someone catered. I think he was either Chipotle or Cudoba at a college graduation party when like people were doing those 10 years ago when you were a high school graduation. - You remembered this that law? - Yes, and it was so good. I was like, one day, if I can ever afford it, I'm gonna cater to Chipotle for a party. And look at it. - Look at us now, babe. - Affordable option. - Look at us now. - I would say it's a very good option. Like cost-wise too, for the amount of food you get. - Yeah. - What does crack me up with some of the catering costs though? If you ever go to cater a party, sometimes the math doesn't like math for the cost of catering. Like sometimes it's almost cheaper. If you were just to individually buy a coffee for everyone that orders a coffee or individually buy a meal at Chipotle for everyone that gets a meal, sometimes that's cheaper than the cost of catering for the amount of people you have. It's weird. But then you don't wanna be weird and like- - Get everyone's order ahead of time. - Yeah. 'Cause then that like makes everything a lot more work. - I have to come to the party 'cause we specifically ordered your Chipotle bowl. - Have you heard of how people will literally send a bill to wedding guests that don't show up because of how much it costs to have an extra person at your wedding? Like they'll be like, "All right, here's $200 a check for- - I mean, I get it. - $200. - I get it, but. - That's not classy. But it's also rude to RSVP for the end of the class. - I agree that's equally not classy. - Yeah. So anyway, this party's gonna be freaking awesome. - Yeah, I feel like I forgot some of the things. I got a lot of decor. I was gonna get a big inflatable pirate ship for the pool. And I even told the boys about it. - No, we're not doing that. - And I knew you were gonna say no, it's not safe. It's not safe. - That, yeah. I hate. - I didn't get it. - Well, I told, did you know about how I like, saved my brother's life when I was a kid? 'Cause I jumped in, he got like stuck underneath like a floaty and I saw him struggling and I went and got him out. Like those are such a danger in pools. - Yeah, actually the first time we had a pool party and I hired a life guard, they said no floaties. - Yeah. - No inflatable, or not no floaties, no inflatable. - I know that we have like the floaties on the side of the house for when like if you or your mom wants to have a pool. - But not with the kids. - I honestly, even then though, I kind of just wanna like literally pop all of them because I just don't-- - Oh, it seems like we could donate them. - Okay, maybe we could donate them. But I just don't, it's just not worth the risk, you know? - Yeah, that's scary. - Freaks me the freaking out. - So now they keep asking me about having a pirate ship in the pool, I was like, no, it's not safe. And they're like, so. - Maybe we could do like a pirate ship kite or something. I had a pirate ship kite when I was a kid. - I've never been able to successfully fly a kite. - We should take the pirate ship kite with us to Newport, let me go to Newport. - Yeah, I'm excited for that. - Yeah. - Is there a lot of wind in Newport? - The beach, yeah, like that's the beaches and tourists were having wind. That's where the Wright brothers, when they got the first plane. - You're kidding me. - Yeah, that's why the like Kitty Hawk and the carrot, is it North Carolina, South Carolina? One of them? - Oh, I thought you were saying it was in Newport. - No, they didn't do it in Newport. - The Wright brothers were in Newport? - No, they were on the east coast. - Okay. - Anyway, Kitty Hawk. - My history knowledge. - Yeah, that's where they got the first plane to fly because of all the wind. - Wow. - And people used to, I think they studied kites and stuff too. - That's thrilling. - When they were doing that. - Thank you to OSEA for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guess what is on my legs, my arms today, and basically every day. - OSEA. - Exactly. One of my pet peeves about skincare in general is that a lot of them are having a hefty price tag, making all these grand promises, and then they really just under-deliver. But that is genuinely not OSEA. I love putting it on after my morning shower because it's so light on my skin. 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We have some rules that we have been following postpartum. - No, you broke one of the rules. - I broke the rule, what did I break, what did I do? - I might be too fresh to bring up. - I'm terrified, I don't even know what it is right now. - You said I'm tired. - Oh shoot, okay, I did say I was tired. And the second that I said it, I immediately regretted it. And then I was like, wait, but I thought I could say it once. And no, that's not how we can say that she's tired once. I can't say that I'm tired once. - Yes. - So I am so sorry, I should not have said that. Should have not said that I was tired. - It didn't, it didn't start our day well. - Yeah, not a good way to start the day. - It didn't go well. - Absolutely not. - I felt my body temperature raise when you said that. - It's crazy, I'll say, like the night when you get when you, like you getting, you know, five hours of sleep versus seven hours of sleep. - Five hours. - I feel like you're a different person. Like I just, so that's why it's like. - Also when I get five hours and it's interrupted, that's. - Like I think if anyone is having some sort of argument or dispute with their spouse in the post-partum stage, it's almost like, it's probably hard to tell your brain this because there's probably something that's making really mad and whatever, but it's like, you almost have to just recognize I am sleep deprived. - Yeah. - If I had quality sleep right now, this would not be happening. - Yeah, this wouldn't cause such an emotional reaction. Actually Abby was telling me that this girl that she follows says that nothing counts. Anything that you say to your partner in the night the first like with a baby. Yeah, none of that counts There we go. I don't know how she actually said it But something like that and I was like, yeah, that's that checks out. Yeah, that's good We should we shouldn't initiate that rule another rule for postpartum shower every day That's one you've been showering I smell so bad when I wake up in the morning. I don't I've never noticed This is a rule. I have to shower in the morning. I've smelled you before the shower and you smelled awesome No, I don't I smell so bad. I think it's a hormone's coming out of my body Another another rule I will make Abbie's I make your coffee for you and your eggs all these rules are really in my favor Well, hey, you're the one that needs actually you need that for support. I do I do need that What what are some rules that I'm that I'm forgetting um we're trying to do no bankies It's not really a rule, but that's like we're just like trying to know. Well, no then I try to give him a binky Sometimes like it it is helpful just for me to like suck on something for a little bit And then it just falls out of his mouth, but it does kind of help him like chill out. I know he likes if he's pant And I'm like I'd rather have a binky every once in a while So we're the nursing a lot which is good. Yeah Just takes a really long time because I think that is just starts to get comfy is like nope that I can't pry that I try to like pry him off Yeah, it's back on there. Yeah, um, but yeah, he hasn't really taken a binky yet, which means I I'm still it's up. It's up in the air whether or not. This is a good thing or a bad thing Yeah, we might we might find ourselves in a bigger problem than we were with a binky obsession No, do we train him to use the binky? I really did train our other two to use the binky And then we regret it. They can help themselves. Yeah, eventually like when they can use their own hands They can like grab the binky and put it back in their mouth. What are you sniffing right now? Do you smell like a newborn baby? I do are you smelling? My makeup stop using our babies the lotion. I'm sorry. I've got ashy knees You smell like noodle and boo over here. Okay, that that's how Oh my gosh, you can actually smell I can smell it from the baby lotion on my knees. Yeah, I can So yeah, the jury's still out of whether or not because at first I was like, let's just try to not do a binky and then I was like, well, wait a minute now he has no way to like Calm down unless he's like nursing Yeah, and then I try to give him binky and it's not working. So I don't know the jury's still out whether or not that was a good call but We'll see one of the other rules we have Well, you've kind of just kind of become The full-time entertainment for our two older kids. Mm-hmm You're you're the toddler man now the toddler man and I'm the baby lady. What's funny though is I feel like I've got The the easier the easier side like I feel like everything you're going through is so much harder. Yeah, like rewind to a couple months ago and if you're if you're like hey, I'm gonna just piece out and you're gonna do everything for our are like two little boys it's just crazy how You know how like with with the perspective shifts that we've had now you know, that's what it's called It's called your capacity or both of our capacities have grown. They've increased so now it feels easy for me to have Yeah, just a newborn or to have just a newborn and toddler even still feels easy like Then having all three. Yeah, which is still still feels man. I don't know. It's just crazy how like your perspective changes so quickly You're capable of a lot. What are your thoughts on my parents coming into town? You know with our new system they really could stay with us That's what I'm thinking. I'm like we told so we told my parents that they couldn't stay with us when they came to visit Because we're just like fresh in the newborn stage and so we asked them to stay with Your parents and then like come over and hang out Um And that was because with our old system we are using the guest bedrooms that like I could get I could get some sleep in the night Abbie could get some sleep in the night both our new system. We're both not getting any sleep in the night So I think yeah within this new this new better system where we're both not sleeping like I think Maybe we should keep up my parents stay at your parents Maybe we should Maybe this new system isn't so great I think that this system is working great for me. What's crazy is that we're waking up the I'm actually sleeping still sleeping less in here. Okay, a lactation consultant's gonna hate this, but like what? I can't skip a video. Don't even ask skip a freaking feeding. Let me do the nighttime. Let me just do the nighttime And and do the bottles in the night. I'll change you know, I'll change it. I'll do everything when I step a feeding mat I'm saying he wants to give a bottle and I'm not pumping. Yeah, you just keep sleeping. No, Abbie you have so here's the thing You're a rare breed of woman you have so much over supply like Abbie makes Abby literally makes in addition to feeding our son every day an entire court We're talking a fourth of a gallon of breast milk that she makes in addition To what she gives her kid now I know that it's not gonna always be that way and that You guys is primarily from Ahaka. She's not even pumping to get that. It's just it's just falling out from Ahaka That's that is kind of a form of a pump So what I'm saying is I feel like I feel like you should probably just Like I feel great. I just need to get six. I need to get six hours. I think what we could do of interrupted sleep Is you could just you could just keep sleeping through one of the feedings and I'll do the the changes and the milk and all that Your milk supply is not going to dwindle and if it does if it does if you start to only have an extra Eighth of a gallon of milk today. I will get mastitis. I know that I'm a mastitis. Yeah, cuz I wake up for that feed at that's the longest stretch I go what if we try what if we try lumps in my In my what if tonight what if tonight mean fish go sleep in the guest bedroom next question I wake up at you know one a.m. Do his feed and I'll come and get you all come and get you for feeding number two in the night at like Four or five a.m. But then you've just like slept on you just got complete straight sleep from like 10 p.m. till Four a.m. Wouldn't that be amazing? No, that sounds absolutely crazy. Wait, why not? I can't do it. I think that you would love that I would love that, but I can't do it. I don't like it. Okay, all right. Well, it's worth a shot All right, he's gonna sleep through the night soon. I just know it So I just want to say on the same boob schedule as him. Okay. I think I do think it's probably best of my parents Don't say gosh Nate. This is looking like we don't like we don't talk off podcasts. We talk off podcasts Okay, people we just change your mind all the time change your mind. I actually just for fun sometimes because we talk so much We just rehab the same conversation. That's actually what we're doing right now is we're having the same conversation that we've had like three times Literally you do that to me all the time at you just come and be like so what if and then it's like the same thing that we just had like a Conversation about the day before. Yeah, and we do the same thing. I'm an indecisive guy, you know, I like to and then sometimes I have to break the script I'm like hey wait You do know that we have this whole conversation yesterday, right? And you're like yeah, but So we just do that for fun Were you what are you leaning towards with my parents? Let's let them stay as fine. Let them stay at our house We've literally not done anything that we said so why would be I'm vetoing that hurt nope So what I think they should say with your parents Unless they want to wake up with our kids Unless we should just like maybe But that's the thing my mom's gonna want to sleep it like when she's at our house. She wants to be on vacation So she's not gonna want to get up at like six. She's gonna want to get up at like eight, you know Like so then there's gonna be no sleeping in if my parents could like be with her kids for two hours So we could get some extra sleep then I would be like stay or I don't know where to hang out I will not be sleeping. I can't I wake up. I'm ready for the day. I love sleep. I know you I love it so much I know you do if I'm sleep deprived I'm just sad. Yeah, I've seen it in you. It's awful I'm sorry, but can we talk about the night feedings with you feeding the bottle what I know just came in wait What does it feel like? Pins and needles. Yeah Do you see like a rush of just like it's a really hard feeling to describe like did they do you feel them getting like Also, we're when your milk comes in where's the milk coming from because I thought that the milk was made in Your breast so like where else is it? It's pretty somewhere else and then it's transported That's so crazy that you don't know what the story behind all that and it just hurts right now It's just like it's hard to it's really hard feeling to describe it feels like this That feeling you ever hear it like is it like you know how like if like the water gets turned back on in a building Yeah, no, that's how it works. Okay, that'd be pretty cool if you could hear the rush of milk Um What was I talking about? No, Abby says it feels like a wind up toy like it's like and that's pretty accurate. You're like You know what I mean? What was I talking about oh the night feedings night feedings. Yeah Can we make a new rule what's the new rule? Wait, no, don't say anything. That's not nice. Not anything No farting. There's oh Please don't say anything Anna He's already beaten down. - Wait here, here's what's not fair is when I fart. You're like, "Okay, I just tried, but you don't need to do that." - You're just disgusting. Don't fart and then our kids fart. You're like, "That's so cute. Do you know they just farted?" It's just so funny. - That's hilarious. - And I give you credit for them. I'm like, "You get that from your dad." - Yep, she would do that. - And she wouldn't do it. - Yeah. - I just can't be sitting there farting. - That's farting discrimination right there. - Sitting there pumping and looking at you and just holding our baby in your bottle, leaning over her too. - Like that's just, (laughs) - Let me ask you this, when you fart, what do I do? What do I do? - I never do that. - Yeah, you do. Of course you do. I'm like, "I-5." - That's true. - You do a high five, me. - High five. - I mean, I can't give, I could not possibly give them any high fives in the day. - Maybe if you could just try it for every once in a while. - How many bottles also do I see you give him? Or you're like, - Here's just impressive. How do you like, somehow you're able to pump and read your Kindle at the same time? When I'm giving them a bottle, I am not, there's no extra hand for me to read my book while I'm giving them a bottle. - I couldn't go, I'm giving them a bottle, I can only do a lot of pumping. - But then don't you read your book when you breastfeed too? - Yeah, just like this. - How do you, what in the world? - 'Cause I'm not using a hand to give a bottle, it's my boob, man. - That's right, yeah. Just your right. - I don't have to hold that. - Anyway, I stand by my idea of the, of you sleeping longer than I and me doing a bottle. I think that would be a great idea. - For both. - Only because we're in a very unique circumstance where you have the mother load of breast milk. - Which is why I need a pump. - That's true. If you did have like that message. - I got maxed out twice the first time and I didn't get it the second time and I followed these rules. - Got it, okay, okay. - Anyway, it's going well. I would say we're having fun. I like seeing you all throughout the night. - I love that for you. - I'm just sitting there, just like, basically, you know what? - And I'm like, this is love. This is marriage. - Me wanting to just change up our routine in the night. Really, it's just for my love for our three and four year old. Because they've been begging. We told them that after the first week I'd see it to spend the night with them in their room. I still haven't done it. It is breaking my heart. - It was a bad one. That's what our kids say. - It's breaking my heart. But it's so cute. They have been coming in. Like still, I tell them that I can sleep with them when they're lights green in the morning. And that's like, that means it's 6.45 and they can come into our room. - They don't really do that. - Well, Griffin does. Griffin, every morning, says, "Dad, the light screen "come sleep with me and so then we go cuddle and it's bad." - Oh yeah, but that's after he's come out. 'Cause I'm usually, I'm usually out of the room by then. And they've come out multiple times. That's okay. - No, they don't come out 'cause then they're gonna lose her privilege. - Do come out. Sometimes I'm like, I hope I don't see you. - We needed a force, we got a force that wore. - Yeah, I would say we definitely are not strict parents. - Thank you to Haya for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I think we speak for most parents of toddlers and we say we are buckling up and already nauseous about six seasons coming up. - As parents, we just wanna make sure that we're doing what we can to help boost our kids' immune system, especially now that our kids are in preschool and that's exactly why we love Haya and include it in our daily routine as parents. Quick, easy, pairs great with breakfast or the car ride to school and helps us brace for the onslaught of six seasons. - Haya's entire suite of products help support growing bodies, but I especially love their kids daily multivitamin. Haya, they get their own little jars that they get to decorate. And our kids personally love the Marvel one. - And if bedtime battles and restless nights are keeping you and your kids up at night, adding a magnesium-based vitamin might be the key. Haya's kids bedtime essentials is a total game changer. It's not a sleep aid, it's a non-habit-forming chewable with L-theanine B6, GABA and chamomile flower extract, plus magnesium and calcium that helps kids relax before bed so they can wake up rejuvenated and refreshed. - No synthetic hormones like melatonin just calm support to help them recharge. - We've worked at a special deal with Haya receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com/unplanned. This deal is not available on the regular website. Go to hyahlth.com/unplanned and get your kids the full body support they deserve. - Addie brought up a really good point. The logistics of loading three kids in a car. We've kind of crushed that system. I would say, okay, so first of all, the Duna really helps 'cause honestly, the newborn is the easiest to get in there, just in there. Then we had to teach our oldest to be able to buckle himself. He can buckle himself and he can unbuckle himself and he can unbuckle his younger brother. He can't buckle his younger brother. - He cannot. - So that's the only thing we have to do. We have to strap the newborn, like get the newborn in, go around the other side, buckle our middle child and then get in. Now it does take some time, but I feel like we've, it's gotten smooth really fast because we thought in advance. We're like, we have to teach him to buckle and to not, or teach him to buckle and then not unbuckle at an inappropriate time. He was really good with that. I'm wondering how our second is gonna do with that. - Yeah. - Really good. - Well, really knows I was gonna do with that because there was a time, we were on the highway and he's like. - Stop the car! - And we're like, what's going on? And he's like, I'm a buckle, I'm like, oh my gosh. - That's the rule, if something happens immediately pull over right away. And so he learned like, this is something that mom and dad take really seriously. - Very seriously. - Literally pulled over on the highway. - You're not unbuckled in our vehicle ever. - Yeah. And so he's done it like a couple times and we immediately pulled over. - More than twice. - Well, I mean, I literally pulled over in our neighborhood. - Has he done it with just you? - Yeah. - Cause he's done it with just me. - He does tell me and he goes, stop the car! (laughing) And then of course our first is really good and started, he's like, it's an emergency. - It's an emergency. - It's an emergency. And so yeah, he had to teach our kids how to do some things independently. They are so good at doing things independently now. But yeah, I had to think in advance. - I will say, now that we have a three-row vehicle, it's just crazy, like the psychology of it. Like I thought our Tesla Model Y was like very spacious and all that. And I get in that thing and it feels like a clown car now. Like it just doesn't feel-- - It feels small. - Well, I think the main difference is really just your head to the ceiling. Makes a big difference if like the feel of the car. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But yeah. So getting out the door though with three kids has been, that's really feels tricky sometimes. All the things you need, does everybody have shoes? Does everybody have clothes on? Like, what do we, do we have snacks? Does everybody have a water bottle? Like that, the logistics of all the things we need, on top of all the things we need for the baby is feeling a little heavy. - You know, my, my thing is-- - I feel like we make a million trips in and out of that house. - I know, I find it like easier sometimes if you forget snacks. Like if there's a pretzel shop close by, I'll just get, you know, pretzel nuggets and we'll all split 'em. - You just get the snacks that you like. - Yeah. Either that or then our kids will raid our friend snacks. No, but I've gotten better. Anytime we go out, like when we go to the aquarium-- - You're good now, you bring snacks. - I pack snacks, I do pack snacks. Also, something that we're very excited about that's happening tonight, you guys, is we're going on our first ever date since everything. Since Abby pushed a baby out. So we're very excited. - Just kidding, we went to brunch. - We did a day date, this is a night date. - Okay, our first ever night date. - And I think we might-- - With fishers. - We might be going to get sushi and wine, which is awesome. - Yeah, 'cause it's been a minute. - It's been a minute. Fishers are certainly coming with us. - Yeah. - But, you know, he's a great third wheel. - Totally. - And it'll be fun. Yeah, I'm so excited to have sushi again in a glass of wine. - Aw. - I'm not even like a wine girl, but something about it, after you haven't had it for so long, it really sounds great. - You're funny 'cause you have one glass of wine and you're tipsy. - I know it's in my head. I know it's in my head, but I-- - I do think there's something, your body just isn't used to it 'cause you just don't ever have wine, so I think that's a big part of it. - Is it or is it on my head, is it supposed to though? - I think it's your such a little lady, so that's part of it. - Oh, that little. - You're tiny, you're five, too. - Oh, a big girl. - I think it's 'cause I went on a walk. That really got my circadian skill. - Yeah, that's good. - Walks to past a couple days. Now that I can walk and I don't feel like I'm in pain, and it's gonna slow down my recovery. - I love that. - I just can't wait 'til I can work out again now. - I know, guys, I'm not even kidding you. Abby is such an animal in the gym. She just-- - I'm not. - She's so fit and so good at working out a lot. - But all my friends are stronger. - That's not true. I'm trying, I've been trying to go to the gym 'cause I just know that Abby is about to unleash something. - I will, that's the thing. - You will. - I'm trying to go to the gym as much as I can with you. - When you, that's the thing that you learned through pregnancy though, in my opinion, maybe out of you feel the same way, but like when you've been pregnant and then you're not pregnant anymore, you're like, I will never take for granted. The fact that I can lift heavy things, I can jump, I can run, I can do these things. You'll never take it for granted again. - I'm probably frustrated in the pregnancy. You're like, wow, I took that for granted. - I took for granted. - I took that for granted. We'll never do that again. We will never do that again. And that's what I mean, it's like You it's it's good to slow down during pregnancy to you know make accommodations for your body so you can Grow this baby, but then average like I will never take for granted that I can Do activities and so then when I've been pent up for so long it feels so good to get back in the gym That's why I honestly need that's why I love burn - because I know that they will pace me They mark on your thing that you're like postpartum and then they will hold you accountable. Which is good because I'm like I do need someone to kind of be like hey Easy easy there, you know, I love that. Yeah, I even think my abs will you look so good You haven't you had a baby three weeks ago. You literally had you're too nice a Like you know, you just had a nine month pregnant belly three weeks ago and now you don't even look like you were ever pregnant That's not true, but thank you. You look incredible. You look incredible. I don't know how you did it No, I were loose things honestly just because I'm just I'm really not sure what's gonna fit And I'm not ready to spiral try to figure out what's gonna fit So we're just gonna wear the same things I wore while I was pregnant Didn't you say that last time you ended up like buying a lot of new clothes, but then they only fit you for a little bit of time Yeah, you just weren't able to wear them. Yeah, I think it about like two or three months last time I like know not even maybe like two months. Okay, you bought a lot of new clothes I bought a lot of new clothes because I was like I'm never gonna fit in anything ever again And then I didn't fit in those new clothes a couple months after that and then I had to get rid of them Why did you just keep them for now? Wow such a good question Well, I also think that at this point postpartum every time we thought we were done having kids I think we were like I think you just get rid of stuff like you you and your mom are like really good This is actually a good thing because I like it cuz I've already gotten rid of a bunch like a bunch of maternity clothes Matt Just you know really yeah, no way should I not I mean it's fine. It's all good. I mean like What what do you like what do you like me like that like I love that you're not a hoarder I think you'd really bother me if you were a hoarder. You actually call me a hoarder sometimes No, you're not a hoarder. You're just a you're a clutter guy. You're a pile guy. I find little piles You're not a hoarder. You can say it my our garage has been I got our garage completely clean And then I started making no way that this is why garage is kind of a clever verse Yeah, your version of cleaning is taking everything out and it's just not practical kind of help me You just need to put like a shelf up and then we can You're like we just need to clean it. So gotta be able to literally everything what our garage does need is it needs the ceiling Like storage where you can have boxes on the ceiling I that sounds miserable. How will I ever reach that because then you just take a screwdriver? There's like a thing you can screwdriver you take the screwdriver and you put it into the little spinny thingy And then it makes the whole mechanism lower so it's so it's like a it like lower it raises and lowers with a screwdriver Yeah, I'll show it to you. Do we have enough? We have yes, we have a screwdriver anyway Yeah, I really that is something that's so sure I cannot wait to Go shopping What are you gonna go shopping for? I don't know. I just want I just really want new clothes Nothing like being pregnant for nine months and then being postpartum to just make it itchy to just Get new things because you know you kind of wear the same few things over and over at the end Because it's all that fits and all that feels comfortable. I feel like we've entered into a really fun stage of parenthood I think it's I think it's like so nice having Like having a newborn when you have older kids to know what is going to like what everything's going to turn into It's just so sweet and he's so sweet to even say when he like looks in our eyes He's like it's like he's trying to figure us out just like we're trying to figure him out Like we're like what is he like what does he like today? I was like maybe he doesn't like being swaddled because he does like his arms up and then I might try to because like you know We've done this before but also we're trying to get to know him like specifically and he's trying to get to know us. I feel like he just like looks in our eyes and he's just like I Have heard this voice for so long. Yeah, and he's like now. I get to see you. It's sweet. He's so sweet Such a precious little guy and the boys love him. They always asked to hold him which is hard sometimes because you're like you're really not Sure, how to hold baby very well. So we're like trying to like help them and they're like let go of your hands And we're like oh you can't just hold them on your own So it's really sweet and I just can't wait to see like their relationship grow. Oh, yeah with him and This has been a really sweet season You need to go feed him right now. Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah, so your milk came in because it's time to feed him No, that's the funny thing really you're you're the right now. It's still trying to figure out It just it gets a little trigger happy sometimes. It just it'll it'll figure out what I need to do that more But right now it's at the point where it's just gonna do a random letdown at any point if I hold the bait like if I wear him Like if I'm baby wearing Fisher. I will have so many more let downs then if I can my body is just like Feed the baby feed the baby feed the baby And I'm like no If I hold him if I look at him, it's just gonna make it happen. That's crazy Isn't that crazy? That's yeah, that's insane. It's pretty cool. Your body is able to do some incredible. Yeah You're an incredible woman. Hey, you know what you're a great you're great You like talking about how the newborn stage is hard all the time But what you failed to talk about is how good you are at the newborn stage for be especially for being a man What like what do you mean by that like you're limited by what you can do? Like you can't feed the baby. You also are like I feel like most dads are like hands off With like little babies like they're freaked out. You are the newborn guy like you are Honestly, I feel like our babies prefer you even though I'm the one with the milk Like you're so good at knowing how to calm them. You're so good at swaddling them. You're so good at burping them you're so good at knowing like what they need and Just jumping in and doing it Like you have so much confidence too as a dad especially with a dad with a newborn You're so sweet like you're so good at I'm like I feel like people don't understand like listening to our show like how Good you are with babies. Like you're insanely good with them. Thanks, baby. You don't give yourself enough credit And so then that's why it's like easier for me to like get back up on my feet postpartum and do things because it's like I'm not I would never be able to like Brush my hair brush my teeth if I didn't have you like knowing what to do and like so I could just have That time to just like do simple hygiene things But even more than that like I had time to shave my legs and curl my hair today like because you know, it's you know, it's up I will yeah, first of all that's so nice that you said that I will admit like Before I was friends with a bunch of other dads. I kind of thought of myself as this like as this I was like I'm pretty I'm doing pretty good like I'm I'm super involved with my kids I'm doing all this stuff, and then I see how all these other dads are also super involved with their kids and Because we're friends with good people and I think I think that's part of it I think we are friends with really good people, but there's also been this huge shift between like Nowadays most dads at least from what I've seen are very involved much more so than they used to be Yeah, it's like there's this big shift between you know the the Adult men that just want absolutely nothing to do with kids and aren't aren't about it And then you have like the debt the people like the adult men that end up becoming fathers and and really want that and welcome that and fully take on all of that because because like a lot of my close friends They're like me where you know if they work from home They're taking time out of their workday multiple times from nine to five to play with their kids Feed them you know help them go to the bathroom change diapers if they need to take them to school pick them up from school Like doing all these things that Dad's you know 20 years ago. Just weren't doing. Yeah, so well especially in our grandparents generation because remember How much even still oh? Yeah, I mean I think my grandma's are amazed by Matt which it's like you are amazing And I am so grateful and I think it's good for me to hear that because I'm like Sometimes I do take for granted how good you are with them and how much you're willing to step up and share those duties Like I like me doing the bare minimum in front of your grandma as well I wouldn't say it's the bare minimum, but and then she and then she's like just just going on and on about how it's sweet good I'm she's like you have no idea how like because I don't think that like It was common for men to even like change diapers to do any of those things now to be fair You are not a full-time sit-home mom, but you work. I'm also a breadwinner. You're also. Yeah, you also make the roles shifting You make money, okay? No, we're both we're we both work and we're both very involved parents Yeah, we have a kind of like we share we share both duties the responsibilities of work in home You know we're good team which is good. It's been really fun. Yeah, we like teammates together and like in both work and at home Yeah, I think it's really good that our kids get a lot of time with both of us It's not just all me or all you yeah, which is a privilege like a lot of that's a very unique setup Oh, yeah, usually like people aren't able to like shift schedules around like that or shift duties and it doesn't make sense to do that so we're so grateful and It's been so fun Yeah, it's been so fun like yeah, oh yeah, and it's been It's like already so rewarding just like like you know There's not much like that a newborn gives you but I just I'm already anticipating like his smiles But it's like so silly but even like him gaining weight is like Yay or like him pooping We're like woohoo. He's doing everything right like and I just know that it's just gonna keep getting more and more rewarding like a smile a laugh like Eventually saying mama sitting up crawling like there's just so many things to look forward to yeah And we already know like it's just just around the corner. You're right sweet Well you guys thank you if you've made it to this far in the podcast. Oh my gosh. Thank you You're like one of the rare Groups of people that actually finish the podcast so thank you We will have another episode for you guys next week as always and if you haven't hit the subscribe button That would mean so much to us is actually over half of the people that listen to our show are not subscribed So if you could just check to see that you're subscribed that would be awesome It's a free way you can support us and as always peace out dudes peace