The Newborn Stage: Hemorrhage Scare & Sleep Deprivation

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With our new system, we're both not getting any sleep in the night. Hey, real quick before we get started, I wanted to let you know that one free way you can help us out and help us grow our show is by subscribing. Only about 35% of you guys are subscribed. So if you could just check real quick to make sure that you are subscribed to the show, that would mean so much to us. Thank you seriously from the bottom of our hearts for being here. It means a lot that you're coming back each and every week to listen to the new episodes that we've worked so hard on. And without further ado, enjoy the episode. What's up dudes. Welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast. Yeah baby. I had my second cup of coffee of the day. You're feeling hyped? I'm actually at this stage of exhaustion where I really feel caffeine. Yeah. Like I really feel it and I really look forward to it. Thank goodness you can have a little bit more caffeine when you're nursing than when you're pregnant. No one talks about that shift. Why does the caffeine like sometimes just, it's like zaps my energy. Like I feel like- I think that could be an ADHD thing. I feel like it's the crash. Like it's like I have, I feel good for like five minutes and then it's like I'm more tired. Really? Yeah. I feel like that's what happens when I have an energy drink, but coffee just feels like that good energy. Energy drinks definitely do that to me. Yeah. I don't know. I have my, you can have 300 milligrams of caffeine when you're nursing. I still stick to pretty much 200, but it does feel like a, it feels so good to have it now that we're in this stage where, you know, sleep isn't necessarily what it was. At the time of recording this, it's been three weeks to the day since Abby, gave birth to little fishy. I feel great. I do feel really good. Feeling pretty good? Yeah. What do you think is the reason that you feel so good? Because I feel like this has been your best postpartum experience ever. Well, if I'm, do you want me to be real, real? Be real, real. I think it's just the fact that we're seasoned. Ah. Like we've, we've done this before. Okay. But there's also a lot of other factors that contribute to it. Probably like the fact that we have an awesome community. The fact that, um, you know, I had a pop, like a more positive birth experience we had before. We have like a not colic baby. I ate my placenta. Abby's actively eating her placenta, which is actually crazy. Why are we saying eating? Well, what's the better way of saying it? Taking? Okay. But the thing is like, babe, your placenta was huge. And then after it was dehydrated, it like, it shrinks it down to be super duper tiny. I'm still going to be taking those pills for like months. What's crazy is like, No one explained that to me. Your placenta was like as big as, it was like bigger than my head. Did she say it was normal sized? Totally normal size. Yeah. She said it was normal. Huge, huge dinner plate size organ. Because my friend had, uh, gestational diabetes and she said that made her placenta much larger. And she also had it encapsulated and she's like, it was just way too many pills. I just can't believe that all the pills, all the placenta pills fit into a jar. That's like the size of my fist. Bigger than that. Okay. Two fists. A fist and a half. Yeah. It's a lot of pills and you can only take two a day. And it's like, this is going to take a long time. Yeah. I mean, but you're, you're cracking and cracking away at it. I think, okay, here's the deal. When Abby, can you share the most, the really interesting thing that happened when you like right away when you started taking your placenta pills? Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think we talked about it on Unplanned because we'd already filmed that episode, but, um, like 10 or 11 days postpartum. So like week and a half, I think I might've gotten a little bit too, you know, there's like a, a high that you're on. And then you're like, I'm just going to keep going. Keep going. I think I got a little too excited, did too much, which they always say like, just rest, just rest. But that's easier said than done for someone like me. And also for someone with two other toddlers in the house. And that day I was experiencing like kind of, well, you were bleeding a lot. Yeah. I was kind of bleeding a lot. It was, it was so much blood that we were like, are you hemorrhaging? Like what's going on? We asked AI. We're like, Hey, what should we do? It was like, go to the hospital immediately. And we're like, okay, that sounds like a bit. No, you were like trying to get me to go. For a little bit there. Cause I wasn't like fully understanding what was happening. So I was like, Hey, I'd rather, you know, drop whatever, whatever it is on, on the, on the ambulance or whatever, just to make sure. I don't know. I'm just like, at the end of the day, your health and safety is way more important than a medical bill. And so it's just like, what do we need to do? But then we came to realize that, okay, it was just, these weren't the posts. These were like regular pads that you were, they weren't like medical grade. That's the thing that like made me like convince you that it wasn't as serious. I didn't specify to AI that you were soaking through regular pads, not medical grade ones, because it like, I think the AI thought that you were like going to die. It was a little bit. Yeah. I think it was abnormal. That's the thing. Like the things that were happening, we won't get into too much details, but like, it was a little bit outside of normal, obviously postpartum, so many things can happen. And so many things are, are considered normal, but I was like, we'll just watch it closely for the night. And then the next day it still really wasn't much better. Yeah. And then you came home with the pills and you took the placenta pills and what happened? My bleeding like was drastically reduced. How crazy is that guy? All anecdotal. It's all. And here's the thing. It could be a total coincidence, but I'm saying I felt a million times better and I had physical, like my physical symptoms also changed. Was that before, like, had you been resting before that? Like what? Cause I had you start resting. Yeah. And then that day you were like, you're literally stay on this couch. And I did, I stayed on the couch for like two days and we even went to a birthday party and I literally sat the whole time. I felt so rude, but I just like, didn't, I stayed seated and horizontal for like two days. And this was in conjunction with taking the placenta pills. Yeah. Just focusing more on like slowing down, resting, healing, recovering. And that, I mean, I feel like I did a 180 after that. Yeah. Which disclaimer, if you're bleeding a lot after giving birth, definitely take that super seriously. They tell you before you leave the hospital what to look for. We're not doctors, but I feel like a lot of people know about the hemorrhaging thing, how dangerous it can be, but. And I did hemorrhage a little during birth too. You did hemorrhage. Yeah. Okay. Why did they tell me that? They told us in hindsight. Oh, okay. Yeah. They get it to stop. They do a really weird thing. You don't want to say it on the podcast. I mean, I say a lot of things on this podcast. It's fine. Okay. Um, they put something in your bottom. You're kidding me. Yeah. I'm not kidding. That gets the hemorrhaging to stop. I don't know. It's a pill that they put in there. That's crazy. She just told me that casually. I was like, you're going to tell me that after the fact. What I learned from Randy who edits this very podcast is he told me that they'll put like a piece of placenta in mom's mouths. Like when they're giving birth, like an at-home natural birth, apparently that could even in some ways stop bleeding or stop hemorrhaging. Isn't that crazy? Have you ever heard of that? No. Where like women will put a piece of their placenta in their mouth. What? That's like a, that's more of like a natural like way of doing things. Again, that don't like, we're not doctors. Okay. See that's one of those things that you do. We're going to do it on our fourth birth. That's the progression. Just get back to our mammal roots more so each time. Yeah. Anywho, I think, I think the pills are working, honestly. I really do. I think just the bleeding alone, that was like, that's crazy. And side note, I mean, the fact that we have the community that we have now, we did not have a meal train for Griffin and Augie's birth. You know what? I think we might've actually. Maybe like a Normally, like with the Meal Train website, like people just would bring us, some of our friends would bring us dinners. But wow, people now, her friends are crazy. Yeah, we've been having, I mean, they're wrapping up. So we're, the Meal Train is coming to a close. Yeah, but we're three weeks out. Yeah, but we have three weeks of dinner every night is insane. Like that's so. And so many other random drop offs of bread and muffins and flowers and stuff for the boy. Like it's been. So generous. So generous. And so I'm so grateful. Yeah, I think that right there. Is it's like hard to almost accept. You know what I mean? Where you're like, I just, I can't like you've done so much. Like, please, it's okay. Thank you. I mean, in my opinion, I think that's been the most transformative, transformative, like uplifting part of all of this, because doing something alone, going through, going through something really hard alone is, it just makes it 10 times worse. And for you to have like all your girlfriends. friends that are like pouring into you cheering for you checking in on you yeah so many people me me having other dads that like we don't I mean I feel like other dads we don't get as deep as you ladies do but just just at least like knowing that we have each other's backs I guess we could I guess we should but uh you know it's just it's just good to to know that we have people there for us seriously and that has been incredible seriously I mean it it changes everything and I just I just hope I wish every mom could have this now that being said we have been going through a little bit of a sleep regression sort of thing after the first week tiny came alive I feel like he yeah he realized that he was on planet earth and he's like oh I gotta I gotta he's like I gotta order these guys around let's just start waking up all the time it's only right it's only appropriate and it's just it's it's sweet because I'm like this is literally I can hear our kids right now what's going on like he's he's fitting right in that's exactly what we want honestly he's just a normal newborn yeah just a normal guy he's got opinions he's got things he does not want to be set out actually I saw this quote on Pinterest and I screenshotted it I'm gonna show you it's weird though we're getting less sleep now three weeks out than we were the first week totally which I I think you know again comparatively everything has been so much better than the first two times but it's weird how it's like it's like he was doing a little trick you know with like the first week he was like a dream baby he was just so sleepy just know this quote right here Matt it says the babies that come into this world not wanting to be put down are born to the mamas who need to slow down ah yep so you gotta slow down is what we're learning I gotta slow down and he's forcing me to slow down it's really great I love that guy I actually hate that he's not here right now he's taking a nap I know yeah he's sleeping let's hope fingers fingers crossed I might need to run in a minute yeah um but yeah no he's come alive he's got his preferences and it's all very normal all very that's the thing we're seasoned now yeah thank you to chili pad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode we really need our sleep especially in this newborn stage we're in we talk about postpartum sweats and that's exactly why I want to tell you about the chili pad 2.0 by sleep me it is the most advanced version yet of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty the chili pad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water it's a thermostat for your bed fans just move hot air around your bedroom but the chili pad uses actively chilled water to cool the bed actively pulling away heat from your body and it works with your existing mattress with the Phoenix heat that we've been having living in Arizona it's just so nice to know that we can cool our bed to the temperature that we want so visit www.sleep.me/unplanned to get up to 255 off your chili pad 2.0 with code unplanned this special offer is available for the unplanned podcast listeners and only for a limited time order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days you can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial visit www.sleepsleep.me/unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again but with the sleep regression that's been occurring with the lack of sleep we've been we've been switching things up in the night recently we tried something new last night yes we uh completely abandoned our original postpartum plan that we had I think the original plan was like after the first week I was like kind of full-on like toddler duty with the three and four-year-old and like I mean I've been now you're double dipping I guess I'm double dipping now like because I think the whole idea was like yeah I'll come like at 5 or 6 a.m like night feed I would then take Fisher and then wake up you couldn't crack the 5 a.m one I think I could I think if I I think if I went to bed with the with our toddlers at like eight o'clock I think waking up at oh yeah 5 a.m if you go to bed at eight o'clock he's not oh you're planning on leaving me for the whole night I think that was the original plan but we've kind of abandoned oh yeah we got to abandon that we completely abandoned that plan um because because when I nurse him in the night he's literally just like okay let's do this for an hour or two I don't know I don't know an hour and then I'm gonna be so snuggly with mom that the second she puts me down that's just not gonna fly and then I just don't sleep at all so what we were what we were doing is we would do a bottle feed around like 9 30 to like get this kid just full of milk which by the way he's only three weeks as of today he's been he's been chugging four ounces of milk in a single feed for the past like five days six days it's impressive this kid can eat some food and then he fits right in and then you know we do another feeding this is as more recently so you know 9 30 feed then we do another feed around like 1 a.m because his pediatrician said he could go for four to five hours without you know four and a half four and a half I stick to that that's something that I like really stick to anyway so then we do another feed then but then the problem that we ran into like a week ago was he would not like he would just be like up for the day at like 4 30 and 5 that and then he would also wake up quite a bit around like the 1 o'clock to 4 30 time so I started Abby started sleeping in the guest bedroom from like 2 a.m till 5 a.m 1 a.m to 4 30 a.m kind of like in that range yeah and then once I once he was like ready to eat again at like you know 4 30 5 30 I would go and get Abby and then I would go in the guest bedroom yeah and then wake up with the boys when they wake up around you know 6 6 30 is when they start making noise but they're out of bed at 6 45 anyway all that being said um that was what we used to do and then we just tried something completely completely I was gonna ask you how did that work for you last night uh dang it it worked amazing for me you know I think that's so rested that's the thing is like I just you know it's not about me so whatever I need to do to support you at this time because you just gave birth to our baby like I'm going to do um you know yeah dang it that worked out so good for me I finally got I looked at my watch and I got let's just see right here consulting consulting the smart watch seven hours and eight minutes you got seven hours yes oh that's amazing so good I mean I was fully asleep at like 9 9 21 p.m let's go and I was up for the day at 5 45 we only woke up twice to feed nice nice but good but how did you I think I just not get good sleep I think I just don't sleep I actually so I just don't sleep good I take my my smart watch off at night because it really it really f's with my head when I look at how much sleep I got the next day like especially when so I had insomnia like a year and a half ago and when I would look at my watch and see like oh four hours they say wearables can mess with you it really messed with my brain so I just have decided I don't even want to know how much sleep I got I don't care if it's okay three hours or six I don't care like I'm not gonna I don't want to know yeah um did you wear that last night I'd take it off every night I always take my watch off because you were in bed longer than me yeah I was I just think you can't go back to sleep as well that's true you can you fall asleep so quickly yeah and I just like lay there like I woke up and I was like I feel energized like I feel good let's go feel good well we'll do I also just had a cup of coffee we'll continue to do the new method the only reason I say that is because it our kid can eat a bottle so much faster than he can uh nurse and so then he just goes back to sleep way better and we're not up for the day at 4 30 he go he woke up at 5 45 today for me that was so good this makes it feel like we like never talk to each other which we talk all the time okay we were just around each other 24 7 but I feel like for me I either a if I'm waking up multiple times a night I want the ability to sleep in or b so that was did I say a that was a one and b okay that was option number one either if I'm waking up a lot in the night I want to be able to sleep the freaking option two is if I get to sleep through the night I can wake up at 5 a.m whatever you know whatever time I'll take my little unisum or or melatonin knock myself the frick out at like eight o'clock and if that baby wants to wake up at 4 45 I'm up for the day you know is that is that overly ambitious you're shaking your head I think we can't do that right now okay I'm all I'm saying is I like seeing you at 1 a.m and 4 a.m that's the thing is like I think I think you probably get lonely doing feedings I get by yourself so I think you having my support spoiled because most husbands are like sleeping through the night and the wife just does it especially when you're nursing because they're like oh yeah it's just easier for me to do it by myself and I get that but it's not easier for me to do it by myself it's easier for me to do it with you 100 just because the bottle thing I just you know it gets to bed quicker because he will nurse for like 45 minutes to an hour in the night because he's falling asleep he's so cozy with me yeah but then and then he doesn't then I wrap him up and put him in bed and he's like wait where's mom I was just snuggling with her for the past hour totally whereas like when he just has a bottle with you he that takes 20 minutes total for you to feed him diaper change re-swaddle finish feeding him back in bed yeah he goes back to sleep way better you're right we definitely do have a good we have a good situation yeah we're good yeah well i'll do whatever i need to do for as long as i need to do it thank you because you're my you're my greater love you're my greater god you're my love you're the love of my life he won't be waking up through the night actually it was really sweet you texted me the other day tiny was having a really hard time uh calming down and you texted me i'm gonna read your text because they were so sweet oh that do you also do you realize you text me the try me like what did i say i can't read this what did you say you have a nice you have a nice i can't like that's just something that you just texted me today at 10 15 sorry i like to compliment you what's wrong with it's so nice but it's just so random like i feel like i have to hide my text like i can't show my mom stuff on my phone the text oh yeah this is what you said you're my love and you're so important to me and i love the sweet life we're building with our boys this newborn stage is temporary it's only going to get easier that's so sweet man i love you you text me really nice stuff all the time you're a really nice guy i think you're a really nice gal but it's so nice like having that perspective like saying like this newborn stage is temporary life with our boys is so sweet like oh yeah and i feel like that also has made a really big difference it's just like a total perspective shift because it's like yeah i did say to you the other day i was like when fisher is the age that griffin's at right now i will be 32 years old which sound like no that sounds that sounds old okay that's that's a man right there a man in your 30s i've literally known you since you were 17 wait 14 14 13 13 or 14 wait i think it was 14 14 to 17 i've known you it was the summer of 2013 and it's very different from 32 yeah goodness you just keep getting better too like you like people are like noticing like you're filling out you're looking manly thank you you've mastered your haircut i started actually getting haircuts is what i started doing and that's what i'm saying like we've just become a better team you know what i learned at the barber last week people get their haircut every week there are some guys that literally go to the barber every week i've been like a once every three months guy my whole life until until like i don't know i don't know i don't know like a year ish ago i know i started learning like two years ago that i should get more haircuts and then now i go every month but i think it makes a big difference i really do yeah well those guys might be using like the actual like razor blade like oh yeah getting it really true close to the skin there and i did the math to see like what that would cost if you go to the barber that often and it's like that'd be like three thousand dollars a year just on your hair well think about what women spend on maintenance holy cow but i guess i guess there's nails manicure and pedicure people get their hair done all the women like that but it's like highlights yeah some women get like facials botox spray tans what else people get done i think waxing oh my gosh the hair removal see if like for me for the longest time i was just stuck in this mindset of how do i spend as least the least amount of money as possible on my hair and so i would get you know just you know what i did say that i'm i'm kind of a hypocrite on what i said if we have a third boy i'll learn how to cut boy's hair ah and i'm kind of want to take that back maybe at some point i'll try i i did like think i wanted to learn how to do that and i just still haven't done it i can't imagine getting them to sit still that would be that's probably the hardest they do it well you just put on a show you just turn on paw patrol okay and then you're good to go that's it i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do that that's the answer yeah also paw patrol movie we did go and see that was so good huge hit huge success i love that snoop dog was in it i like immediately recognized his voice from the start the soundtrack was pretty good yeah uh terry cruz i was entertained did you know that terry cruz was like the bad guy he was one of the villains he was the he was the explosive expert that was there to harvest the diamonds off of dino island whatever the place was called you're kidding yep they had a lot of i saw him in the ads but i didn't put two and two together back street boys did the did the song they were in the soundtrack for the movie i actually really enjoy i keep listening to that song with kids that's why it's popping up on the spotify it's great it's a great song i used to think the backstreet boys were so cool when i was little like i wanted to be the backstreet boys that's probably where all this this all this desire for wanting to be in in the show business at a young age and meeting you doing theater probably started with me being a fan of the backstreet boys oh see you couldn't be a part of a boy band though unless you were like the lead why why do you say that because you are you're a solo act man i'm a solo act yeah i don't know if that's a compliment or it's a compliment who wants to be like the random one that everyone forgets true yeah i guess you're right i could see one of our one of our boys getting into the the arts just with how like they love to put on a show especially augie i always think about this i'm like what if one of them wants to do sports what are we gonna do what do you mean we're gonna let them play sports no about sports we know we know about sports abby i mean they do little sports but i don't know anything about it it's not i mean like we went to the park the other day and they were doing flag football practice and i was like i just don't see you as like a football coach i did football for like a month in sixth grade so i like fully under yeah i basically could coach the team i fully understand it it was really cute they are they're growing up yeah except they are regressing just a little bit which is very normal very normal but there's been a newfound interest in like all of a sudden now they want to ride in a stroller which we could never get them to sit in a stroller what was up with that we we're walking to the park the weather like cooled down to be sub 100 degrees in arizona yesterday so it's basically we're like wow beautiful like it's so it's almost cool abby put on a crew neck i'm wearing a sweatshirt right now i'm not even kidding you guys only 90. it was it was 88 degrees and i was like i'm gonna put on a crew neck i think i'm gonna go outside i had a turtleneck on yeah what is wrong with you that was weird it was so weird i think it's just because i just kind of wanted something big and loose anyway uh i look like i'm in the second trimester now not the third so you look incredible you look incredible seriously you're so nice but okay we're walking to the park and then our oldest who's four they both wanted to get in this wanted to be in the stroller so bad and then and it's not even a stroller it's literally a bassinet it's the place that you put your like backpack underneath the bassinet and so like they're riding in that he's just riding at the very base of this thing all the way to the park and then they fought over who could ride in that on the way back and they they're very interested in binkies re-interested in just like all the baby stuff yeah so you know that's just something that i feel like happens universally like your older kids start to look back and they're like wait a minute but we're trying to avoid the binkies i do feel so sad though like it this is what's hard is i say i'm booby trapped which i am i'm booby trapped most of the day nursing and then they're like mom come they literally were like be bowser chase me do this do this do this come look at this dude come in my clubhouse like all these things and i'm like i hate every time being like okay well i have to finish doing this with baby fisher and then i'll come or not right now it's not a good time i have to change his diaper or he's sad he needs me right now like i hate that that makes me sad yeah that's some mom guilt for you i've been trying really hard to not say no to our kids like even if i'm in the middle of like the work day trying trying to get caught up on things like just recognizing that you know me me taking out time out of my day to go it's confusing quiet time it is confusing for them though because like today i was trying to get things done and they just kept coming they just love playing they wanted me to be so good about playing with them thanks and so they're like they think you'll do it like you can do it literally anytime because you do it so much with them and so wholeheartedly i've been trying to teach them though i'm like do you know i have to work do you know why i have to work and now griffin's like so we can be in our house like that's what he understands so um there's that and then i'm like so that we can go on like vacation we can have food you know something that we have been trying to do is also just give them one-on-one attention i think that the more kids you have like obviously three is not like a big family but like your attention is usually like shared with your siblings yeah and so i've been really trying to like one-on-one with them whenever i can and even just like i literally just hung out one-on-one with one of our boys for like 20 minutes and you would not believe like the way that i just feel like his eyes just like lit up and just like it meant so much and i felt like i really got to like connect in that moment like and so yeah that's just something i've been re-reminded i'm like okay even though we're in a demanding stage with a newborn like literally three weeks old today like it's still i can i can make that happen for like 20 minutes is even a lot like you could even do it for 10 minutes five minutes and that would really make a big difference and so that's been sweet we just kept laughing together i actually felt really creepy i were in the little clubhouse which is like the area underneath our stairs where the kids toys are and um i was like sitting there i was like we were just talking we're cracking jokes we're laughing and every time we like start laughing he would go we're laughing or we're cracking up we're cracking up mom and like we were just like really having a good time and then i was like do you know how much i love you and then i start crying i'm like mommy loves you so much and then i i was like i love you so much that it makes me cry sometimes and i felt so creepy because i'm like trapping him under the stairs and like we're laughing and then all of a sudden i'm crying and he's like i felt like that really creepy movie preview that we saw we saw the odyssey that like really creepy mom oh my gosh what was that did you see that preview you know what that's called that was horrible mommy i never want to see that and i i don't know why i thought of her terrifying why are they making movies like that she has two mommies like one mommy's the creepy mommy and the other mommy's the other mommy other mommy oh my gosh yeah we should go see it no that one actually looked really really really scary you would be curled up on my lap the entire i don't like that stuff we saw a scary movie for our first date we saw a horrible movie on our first date matt of the genres of scary movies demon possession is probably the worst sorry that was the worst it was a memorable date we can't forget about it i know i actually good thing i was not focused on the movie at all you have to know that i was really obsessed with you because i was watching the most scary movie literally ever and i wasn't i couldn't i couldn't i remember zero things about the movie thank you to branch basics for sponsoring this portion of today's episode here's something most of us are never thinking about what is in those cleaning products that we use in our homes it wasn't 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simpler cleaning routine branch basics is available at target target.com amazon and branch basics.com and for the premium starter kit you'll get 15 off at branch basics.com with code unplanned that's code unplanned for 15 off the premium starter kit at branch basics.com after you purchase when they ask where you heard about them please make sure to mention our show switching the gears wait how has pretzel been adjusting um i think she's crushing it honestly you know sometimes i feel like pretzel's on crack like she just she's been jumping off of our couch she is like i got her tennis balls like really heavy duty tennis ball she's like ripping those up now she she rips up at least one of our kids toys per day yeah we love her you know we love we love her so much she eats them she like she literally digests at least one plastic toy a week i don't even know what to do literally the microplastics in that girl and and and like we we shut we like we put the toys away and then she like literally breaks in she knows how to open that clubhouse and goes and just like get socks yeah anyway but i think she's doing really good because now that i'm like a little bit further out i can go on like little mental health walks with fisher and so i've actually been able to take fisher and pretzel on walks and it literally fills me with so much joy i'm just walking i'm just does pretzel your bodyguard uh no she feel i mean yes and no i don't feel unsafe anyway okay but she feels like it feels so good to have her also i feel like i haven't been that angry with her and this postpartum season definitely had a couple moments where i was like i felt like i was like booby trapped once again and i see her eating something she shouldn't eat and i'm like pretzel pretzel pretzel and i'm like i'm gonna lose it because i'm stuck i can't do anything about it i found pretzel on all fours standing on top of the kitchen table yesterday yeah she again again yesterday she's a billy goat or was that today maybe that was today see that's part of the postpartum fog gosh it hits you too no she is ornery but she's a really good dog and i feel like i would be so much more mad at her if she was a barking dog and like was waking up our baby yeah she literally doesn't really bark so that has made it i think that's what's made it so easy if she was like barking all the time that would really bug us but she's done a lot of work and she's done a lot of work and she's done so well like we put fisher like in his little bouncer and we felt like we always had to put him on an elevated surface because of pretzel but she learned right away like gotta keep my distance around this guy she's just giving him a couple little licks on the feet and like a couple little sniffs on his head and she's maybe she does have some type of maternal instinct in there she's not fixed yet so everybody says she's everyone misgenders pretzel they all think that i know it's a she guys our dog is a she your dad is even both of our moms but yeah nobody nobody can call he him right gender it's like it's a girl our dog is a girl and she's beautiful yeah she's a beautiful girl we love her i feel like she looks very girly yeah she's pretty she's actually she does act like a boy though she's like a boy okay um sorry you were switching gears you're switching gears let's hear it i was gonna say i was gonna let everyone know we we've gone on a few family outings since everything um probably mostly because it's so hot here it's so hot like we can't we would we would just go to the park if we could yeah there's not really like a you kind of have to go indoors um with how hot it's been yeah but we did a little trip to lego land not the lego land in san diego the lego land in in uh phoenix arizona is it in tempe yep um it's kind of a sketchy mall that they put lego land in yeah a little sketchy and lego land is a good time it's more of like a lego uh meetup spot with uh some indoor like it's a lego store with like an indoor play place yeah but our kids loved it and that randomly has a couple rides yeah they have like an indoor flying ride you'd like fly around but it only goes like 15 feet into the air perfect we have a three-year-old oh yeah they loved it griffin loved it oh he didn't ride it um and then and and they also have doing laser tag as he calls it that was cute yeah it was cute i had a really good time it was funny i never was into legos as a kid i i like never cared about legos ever but other kids did and i think our kids are gonna be lego kids oh they're great at legos yeah i love legos i think they're great for motor skills for just so many things yeah i don't know why you can put in the stem category yeah yeah and i think it's great like i think doing them and and knowing how all that goes together is probably really good for their their brain they can follow the instructions too i think it's really good um so i'm i'm a huge fan we've also um this wasn't as quite educational we went to the arcade with our boys um don't ask us how many times we played the dinosaur jurassic park game because our kids just kept wanting to go to that one any get like having boys any game that involves like some sort of like slight remnants of violence they're like let's play that one yeah let's go shoot the dinosaurs i know what's up with that i don't like it i don't want them to have g-u-n-s yeah but they don't even call them that because we don't shooters they call shooters they're like i want to play the shooter game yeah yeah i tried here's the thing they don't have those toys but they make them out of their legos they make them out of sticks they make them out of anything why was it easier for our kids to play the jurassic park game than the angry birds game because like they're not going to be able to they we tried the angry birds one and i think they just didn't quite understand that like you're trying to hit the the base i don't think they know how to play most of the games yeah you probably could have gotten away with not putting any money that's true they did play quote-unquote play the games for like 30 minutes without us even paying for anything so that's the hack that is the hack take your boys to the arcade if they're under the age of five take them to the arcade and be like it's free go go play all the games all the games are going it's all free yeah that worked that worked for a while um i really i actually really enjoyed that i had fun playing the games with them yeah you went back the next night yeah and i me and fisher stayed back i know i was like that's we're gonna rest yeah we've also been going to the aquarium that's another like indoor activity we can do in arizona when it's a hundred effing degrees outside and we love that place i will say it kind of hits you when you walk in the aquarium it just smells like fish you know like it's like you're going into a like a seafood market you know that's kind of like your dad and lad activity i've literally never been to the aquarium you guys have gone so many times i know um i thought you're such a good dad thanks i thought i was gonna get like a deal because if you take if you get your uh if you get your season pass at like the zoo or the aquarium and you go like before your kid turns the age that they cost then you get that whole year for free with that kid i literally went the day before and come to find out it actually starts cost this starts costing at two which is crazy so didn't yeah didn't save any money but still amazing it's still worth it i mean we've already gotten our money's from the aquarium it's so educational they learn a lot they always tell me about all the animals when they come back home they love animals um how do you feel about the fact that our son's birthdays are officially one day apart that is crazy and that's actually crazy we're gonna have to figure this out what are we gonna do and then our other son's birthday is on a holiday weekend i guess what we can no one's birthday is getting celebrated on the day of i know i think i think that trying to celebrate yeah we learned this the hard way so throwing a birthday party for griffin on his actual birthday it's fourth of july weekend it didn't work nobody could come like it was so sad so sad like we we had a party the week before huge turnout so many people came it was the magic show and then the next week because it was over a holiday weekend nobody came so we'll move his birthday a week up 100 yeah which is unfortunate because that's when i moved my dad's birthday ah but no problem we can move that one again we can just forget about your dad i think actually at this point his birthday is canceled when you're a dad i think your birthday just no longer matters doesn't matter it's like and yeah but then this so our son's birthday our second birthday is literally the day before i went into labor so his party is now this weekend yeah and then what are we gonna do about fisher in the future oh my gosh they're certainly all getting separate birthdays and i'm saying this so i stick to that because it would be so much easier to do a joint birthday but that ain't right yeah i ain't right can't join them up i mean if to each their own but for me personally i'm like it's not their fault that their birthdays just fell a day apart like any they should have their own party yeah so this weekend's the pirate party it's gonna be really fun i'm excited who is on our podcast yeah katie church she's making a pirate ship pinata that's filled with candy and gold coins for it so i think that's gonna be so fun i love how you invited her to the party and then she was like i want to make a pinata for this party and she just she said pinatas are so easy and i'm like so easy for you it would take my whole life and it still wouldn't resemble a pirate ship this is gonna be a very premium pinata that we're gonna have for this party do you even know what's happening for this party uh fill me in fill me in on what's happening we're it's a pool party okay i did know that got a lifeguard got a bunch of diving toys that are pirates booty that kids can jump in from a pirate's treasure chest okay school and crossbones everywhere the pinata we got uh actual pirates booty the popcorn that's hilarious that'll be great we're catering chipotle gonna have a birthday cake it's gonna be fun time i'm excited for that chipotle catering is gonna be awesome that was that was your idea that was my idea and that was someone catered i think he was either chipotle or judoba at a college graduation party when when like people were you know doing those 10 years ago when we were graduating or no high school graduation you remembered this yes and it was so good i was like one day if i can ever afford it i'm gonna cater chipotle for a party and look at us now look at us now i would say it's a very good option like cost-wise too for the amount of food you get yeah what does crack me up with some of the catering costs though if you ever go to like cater a party sometimes the math doesn't like math for the cost of catering like sometimes it's so much cheaper if you were just to individually buy a party and you're like oh my god i'm gonna go to a party and i'm gonna go to a a coffee for everyone that orders a coffee or individually buy a meal at chipotle for everyone that gets a meal sometimes that's cheaper than the cost of catering for the amount of people you have it's weird but then you don't want to be weird and like get everyone's order ahead of time yeah because then that like makes everybody do a lot more work you have to come to the party because we specifically ordered your chipotle bowl have you heard of how people will literally send a bill to wedding guests that don't show up because of how much it costs to have an extra person at your wedding like they'll be like all right here's $200 and i'm gonna go to a party and i'm gonna go to a i mean i get it $200 i get it but that's not classy but it's also rude to rsvp i would agree that's equally not classy yeah so anyway this party's gonna be freaking awesome yeah i feel like i forgot some of the things i got a lot i got a lot of decor i was gonna get a big uh inflatable pirate ship for the pool and i even told the boys about it and i knew you were gonna say no it's not safe it's not safe that yeah i hate i didn't get it well i told did you know about how i like saved my brother's life when i was a kid because i jumped in he got like stuck underneath like a floaty and i saw him struggling and i went and got him out like those are such a danger in pools yeah actually the first time we had a pool party and i hired a lifeguard they said no floaties yeah no inflatable or not no floaties no inflatables i know that we have like the floaties on the side of the house for when like if you or your mom wants to have a but not with the kids i honestly even then though i kind of just want to like literally pop all of them because i just don't it seems like we could donate them okay maybe we could donate them but i just don't it's just not worth the risk you know yeah that's scary freaks me the freak so now they keep asking me about having a pirate ship in the pool i was like no it's not safe and they're like so maybe we could do like a pirate ship kite or something i used to have i had a pirate ship kite when i was i've never been able to successfully fly a kite we we should take the pirate ship kite with us to newport let me go to newport yeah i'm excited for that yeah is there a lot of wind in newport the beach yeah like that's the the beach is notorious for having wind that's where the wright brothers when they got the first you're kidding me yeah that's why they like kitty hawk in in the care is it north carolina south carolina one of them oh i thought you were saying it was in newport no they didn't do it in newport it was the wright brothers were in newport no they were on the east it was on the east coast okay anyway my history knowledge yeah that's where they got the first plane to fly because of all the wind wow and people used to like i think they studied like kites and stuff too that's thrilling when they were doing that thank you to osia for sponsoring this portion of today's episode guess what is on my legs my arms today and basically every day osia exactly one of my pet peeves about skincare in general is that a lot of them are having a hefty price tag making all these grand promises and then they really just under deliver but that is genuinely not osia i love putting it on after my morning shower because it's so light on my skin it does not leave me feeling sticky and it's quickly become one of the rare products because it's clean seaweed powered skincare from the sea tell by the scent of it that it's made with really great ingredients and what really struck me is its invisible lightweight feel for over 30 years osia has stayed consistent with clean clinically tested skincare from the sea hyaluronic body serum is made for everyday use or when your skin is in need of revival cooling refreshing weightless and powerfully hydrating osia uses an artisanal process that infuses vitamins minerals and antioxidants and has a great effect on your skin for a long-lasting anti-aging and anti-inflammatory effect it's a product that you can get at osia.com and get 10 off your first order with code unplanned that's o-s-e-a malibu.com code unplanned we have some rules that we have been following postpartum no you broke one of the rules i broke the rule what did i break what did i do i might be too fresh to bring up i'm terrified i don't know what to do with it i don't know what to do with it i don't even know i don't even know what it is right now you said i'm tired oh shoot okay i did say i was tired and the second the second that i said it i immediately regretted it and then i was like wait but i thought i could say it once and no that's not abby can say that she's tired once i can't say that i'm tired once yes so i am so sorry i should not have said that should have not said that i was tired it didn't it didn't start our day well yeah not that not a good way to start the day didn't go wrong absolutely i felt my body temperature raise when you said that it's crazy i'll say like the night when you get when you like you getting you know five hours of sleep versus seven hours of sleep five hours i feel like you're a different you're a different person like i just so so that's why it's like also when i get five hours and it's interrupted that's like i think if anyone is having some sort of argument or dispute with their spouse in the postpartum stage i it's almost like it's probably hard to tell your brain this because you're you're there's probably something that's making really mad and whatever but it's like you almost have to just recognize i am sleep deprived it is if i had quality sleep right now this would not be happening this yeah this wouldn't cause such a emotional reaction um actually abby was telling me that this girl that she follows says that nothing counts anything that you say to your partner in the night the first like with a baby yeah none of that counts there we go i don't know how she actually said it but something like that and i was like yeah that's that checks out that's yeah that's good we should we should initiate that rule another rule for postpartum shower every day that's one you've been showering i smell so bad when i wake up in the morning i don't i've never noticed that's because this is a rule i have to shower in the morning i've smelled you before the shower and you smelled awesome no i don't i smell so bad i think it's the hormones coming out of my body um another another rule uh i will make abby's i make your coffee for you and your eggs all these rules are really in my favor well hey you're the one that needs the actual you need the extra support i do need the extra support um what what are some rules that i'm that i'm forgetting um we're trying to do no binkies that's not really a rule but that's like we're just like trying to not well no then i try to give him a binky sometimes like it is helpful just for him to like suck on something for a little bit and then it just falls out of his mouth but it does help him like chill out i know he likes if he's pant oh my god and i'm like i'd rather have a binky every once in a while so we've been nursing a lot which is good yeah um just takes a really long time because i think that he just starts to get comfy he's like nope and i can't pry that i try to like pry him off and then he just yeah gets back on there yeah um but yeah he hasn't really taken a binky yet which means i i'm still it's up it's up in the air whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing yeah we might we might find ourselves in a bigger problem than we were with binky obsessed i know do we train him to use the binky because i really did train our other two to use the binky and then and then we regretted it they can help themselves yeah eventually like when they can use their own hands they can like grab the binky and put it back in their mouth what are you sniffing right now do you smell like a newborn baby i do are you smelling my cat stop using our baby's lotion i'm sorry i've got ashy knees you smell like noodle and boo over here okay that that's ouch oh my gosh you can actually smell i can smell the baby lotion on my yeah i can dang um so yeah the jury's still out of whether or not because at first i was like let's just try to not do a binky and then i was like well wait a minute now he has no way to like calm down unless he's like nursing yeah and then i try to give him binky and it's not working so i don't know the jury's still out whether or not that was a good call but we'll see what other rules we have um well you've kind of just kind of become the full-time entertainment for our two older kids you're you're the toddler man now the toddler man and i'm the baby lady what's funny though is i feel like i've got the the easier the easier side like i feel like everything you're going through is is so much harder yeah yet like rewind to a couple months ago and if you're if you're like hey i'm gonna just peace out and you're gonna do everything for our our like two little boys it's just crazy how you know how like with with the perspective shift that we've had now you know that's what it's called it's called your capacity our both of our capacities have grown they've increased so now it feels easy for me to have just a newborn or to have just a newborn and toddler even it still than having all three yeah which is still still feels manageable i don't know it's just crazy how like your perspective changes so quickly you're capable of a lot what are your thoughts on my parents coming into town you know with our new system they really could stay with us that's what i'm thinking i'm like we told so we told my parents that they couldn't stay with us when they came to visit because we're just like fresh in the newborn stage and so we asked them to stay with your parents and then like come over and hang out um and that was because with our old system we were using the guest bedrooms that like i could get i could get some sleep in the night abby could get some sleep in the night but with our new system we're both not getting any sleep in the night so i think yeah with the this new this new better system where we're both not sleeping like i think maybe we should keep my parents staying at your parents house maybe we should maybe this new is so great i think that this system is working great for me what's crazy is that we're waking up i'm actually sleeping still sleeping less okay a lactation consultant's gonna hate this but like what i can't skip a meeting don't even ask skip a freaking feeding let me do the night time let me just do the night time and and do the bottles in the night i'll change you know i'll change the i'll do everything when i say skip a feeding matt is saying he wants to give a bottle and i'm not pumping yeah you just keep sleeping no abby you have so here's the thing you're a rare breed of woman you have so much oversupply like abby makes i feel like it's going abby literally makes in addition to feeding our son every day an entire quart we're talking a fourth of a gallon of breast milk that she makes in addition to what she gives her kid now i know that it's not going to always be that way and that you guys is primarily from a haka she's not even pumping to get that it's just it's just fallen out from a haka that's that is kind of a form of a pump so what i'm saying is i feel like you should probably just like i feel great i just need to get six i need to get six hours i think what we could do of interrupted sleep is you could just you could just keep sleeping through one of the feedings and i'll do the the changes and the milk and all that your milk supply is not going to dwindle and if it does if it does if you start to only have an extra eighth of a gallon of milk a day i will get mastitis i know that i will get mastitis yeah because i wake up for that feed at that's the longest stretch i go what if we try it what if we try it lumps in my in my what if tonight what if tonight me and fish go sleep in the guest bedroom next question i wake up at you know 1 a.m do his feed and i'll come and get you i'll come and get you for feeding number two in the night at like four or five a.m but then you've just like slept on you just got complete straight sleep from like 10 p.m till 4 a.m wouldn't that be amazing absolutely crazy wait why not i can't do it i think that you would that i would love that but i can't do it i don't like it okay next all right well it was worth a shot all right he's gonna sleep through the night soon i just know it so i just want to stay on the same boob schedule as him okay i think i do think it's probably best my parents don't say gosh this is looking like we don't like we don't talk off podcasts we talk off podcasts okay people we just change your mind all the time change your mind i especially change my mind just for fun sometimes because we talk so much we just rehab the same conversation that's actually what we're doing right now is we're having the same conversation that we've had like three times literally you do that to me all the time matt you just come through like so what if and then it's like the same thing that we just had like a conversation about the day before and we just redo the same thing i'm an indecisive guy you know i like to and then sometimes i have to break the script i'm like hey wait you do know that we had this whole conversation yesterday right and you're like yeah but sometimes we just do that for fun what are you what are you leaning towards with my parents let's just let them stay it's fine let them stay at our house we've literally not done anything that we said so why would i'm vetoing that nope so what i think they should stay with your parents oh my gosh well unless they want to wake up with our kids unless we should just like maybe but that's the thing my mom's gonna want to sleep it like when she's at our house she wants to be on vacation so she's not gonna want to get up at like six she's gonna want to get up at like eight you know like so then there's gonna be no sleeping in if my parents could like be with our kids for two hours so we could get some extra sleep then i would be like stay at our house don't know what you're talking about i will not be sleeping i can't i wake up i'm ready for the day i love sleep i know you i love it so much i know you do if i'm sleep deprived i'm just sad yeah i've seen it in you it's awful i'm sorry but can we talk about the night feedings with you feeding the bottle what what does it feel like pins and needles yeah do you feel like a rush of just like it's a really hard feeling to describe like did they do you feel them getting like also where when your milk comes in where's the milk coming from because i thought that i don't know was made in your breast so like where else is it it's pretty somewhere else and then it's transported that's so crazy that you actually don't know what the story behind it is all that and it just hurts right now it's just like it's hard it's a really hard feeling to describe it feels like this that feeling you ever hear it like is it like you know how like if if like the water gets turned back on in a building you can hear it in a pump yeah no that's not how it works okay that would be pretty cool if you could hear the rush of milk um what was i talking about no abby says it feels like a wind-up toy like it's like and that's pretty accurate you're like you know what i mean what was i talking about oh the night feedings night feedings yeah can we make a new rule what's the new rule wait no don't say anything that's not nice don't say anything no farting please don't say anything he's already beaten down wait here here's what's not fair is when i fart you're like okay i'm sorry but you don't need to do that you're disgusting don't fart and then our kids fart you're like that's so cute do you hear they just farted it's so funny that's hilarious and i give you credit for that i'm like you get that from your dad yep it's your daddy when they do it and then yeah what i just can't be sitting there fart discrimination right there sitting there pumping and looking at you just holding our baby feeding a bottle leaning over to like that's just let me ask you this when you fart what do i do what do i do i never do that yeah you do of course you do i'm like high five high five i mean i can't give i could not possibly give that many high fives in the day maybe if you could just try it for every once in a while how many bottles also do i see you give him we're like here's what's impressive how do you like somehow you're able to pump and read your kindle at the same time when i'm giving him a bottle i am not there's no extra hand for me to read my book while i'm giving him a bottle i'm giving a bottle giving a bottle i can only do like pumping but but then don't you read your book when you breastfeed too yeah just like this how do you what in the world because i'm not using a hand to give a bottle it's my boob yeah just right i don't have to hold that anyway um i stand by my my idea of the of you sleeping longer than i and me doing a bottle i think that would be a great idea we're both only because we're in a very unique circumstance where you have the mother load of breast milk which is why i need a pump that's true if you if you did have like i got mastitis twice the first time and i didn't get it the second time and i followed these rules got it okay okay anyway it's going well i would say we're having fun i like seeing you all throughout the night i love that for you i'm just sitting there just like basically you know what this and i'm like this is love me marriage me wanting to change up our routine in the night really just for my love for our three and four-year-old because they've been begging we told them that after the first week i'd get to spend the night with them in their room i still haven't done it it is breaking my heart it was a bad that's what our kids say it's breaking my heart but it's so cute um they have been coming in like still i tell them that i can sleep with them when their light's green in the morning and that's like that means it's 6 45 and they can come get and come into our room um they don't really do that well griffin does griffin every morning says dad light screen come sleep with me and so then we go cuddle and it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's it's bad oh yeah but that's after he's come out because i'm usually yeah i'm usually out of the room by then yeah and that they've come out multiple times that's okay no they don't come out because then they're gonna lose her privilege sometimes i'm like we need i hope i don't see you we need to enforce that more yeah i would say we definitely are not um strict parents thank you to for sponsoring this portion of today's episode i think we speak for most parents of toddlers when we say we are buckling up and already nauseous about sick season coming up as parents we just want to make sure that we're doing what we can to help boost our kids immune systems especially now that our kids are in preschool and that's exactly why we love haya and include it in our daily routine as parents quick easy pairs great with breakfast or the car ride to school and helps us brace for the onslaught of sick season hi his entire suite of products help support growing bodies but i especially love their kids daily multivitamin high they get their own little jars that they get to decorate our kids personally love the marvel one and if bedtime battles and restless nights are keeping you and your kids up at night adding a magnesium-based vitamin might be the key highest kids bedtime essentials is a total game changer it's not a sleep aid it's a non-habit forming chewable with l-theanine b6 gaba and chamomile flower extract plus magnesium and calcium that helps kids relax before bed so they can wake up rejuvenated and refreshed no synthetic hormones like melatonin just calm support to help them recharge we've worked at a special deal with haya receive 50 off your first order on any of their products to claim this deal you must go to hiahealth.com slash unplanned this deal is not available on the regular website go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com unplanned and get your kids the full body support they deserve addy brought up a really good point the logistics of loading three kids in a car we've kind of crushed that system yeah i would say yeah um okay so first of all the duna really helps because honestly the newborn is the easiest to get in there just in there then we had to teach our oldest to be able to buckle himself he can buckle himself and he can unbuckle himself and he can unbuckle his younger brother yeah he can't buckle his younger brother he cannot so that's the only thing we have to do we have to strap the newborn or like get the newborn in go around the other side buckle our middle child and then get in now it does take some time but i feel like we've it's gotten smooth really fast because we thought in advance we're like we have to teach him to buckle and to not or teach him to buckle and then not unbuckle at an inappropriate time he was really good with that i'm wondering how our second is going to do with that yeah really well we already know what i was going to do with that because he has him there was a time we were on the highway and he's like stop the car and we're like what's going on and he's like i'm unbuckled i'm like oh my gosh i mean that's that's the rule if something happens immediately pull over right away yeah and so he learned like this is something mom and dad take really seriously very seriously literally pulled over on the not unbuckled in our vehicle ever yeah and so he's done it like a couple times and we immediately pulled more than twice well i mean i literally pulled over in our neighborhood he's done it with just you yeah because he's done it with just me he does tell me and he goes start the car and then and then of course our first is really concerned he's like it's an emergency it's an emergency and so yeah um we had to teach our kids how to do some things independently they are so good at doing things independently now yeah um but yeah i had to think in advance i will say now that we have a three-row vehicle it's just crazy like the the psychology of it like i thought i thought our our tesla model y was like very spacious and all that and i get in that thing and it feels like a clown car now like it just doesn't feel it feels small well i think the main difference is really just your head to the ceiling makes a big difference of like the feel of the car yeah yeah but yeah so getting in and out getting out the door though with three kids has been that's really feels tricky sometimes all the things you need does everybody have shoes does everybody have clothes on like what do we do we have snacks does everybody have a water bottle like that the logistics of all the things we need for on top of all the things we need for the baby is feeling a little heavy you know my my thing i feel like we make a million trips in and out of that i know i find it like easier sometimes if you forget snacks like if there's a pretzel shop close by i'll just get you know pretzel nuggets and we'll all split them you just get the snacks that you like yeah um either that or then our kids will raid our friend snacks um no but i've gotten better i anytime we go out like when we go to the aquarium you're good now you bring i pack snacks i do pack snacks also something something that we're very excited about that's happening tonight you guys is we're going on our on our first ever date since uh since everything since abby pushed a baby out so we're very excited we went to brunch we did a day date this is a night date okay our first ever night date and i think we might fisher we might be going to get sushi and wine which is awesome it's been a minute it's been a minute it's been a minute fisher is certainly coming with us yeah but um you know what he's a great third wheel totally and it'll be fun yeah i'm so excited to have sushi again and a glass of wine oh i'm not even like a wine girl but something about it after you haven't had it for so long it really sounds great you're funny because you have one glass of wine and i'm tipsy and you're tipsy i know it's in my head i know it's in my head but i i do think there's something i mean your body just isn't used to it because you you just don't ever have wine so i think that's a big part of it is it or is it i think it's you're such a little lady so that's part of it not that little you're you're tiny you're five two i'm a big girl i think it's because i went on a walk that really got my circadians going yeah that's good walks the past couple days now that i can walk and i don't feel like i'm in pain and it's gonna slow down my recovery i just can't wait till i can work out again now i know i'm guys i'm not even kidding you abby is like such an animal in the gym she just she's not she's so fit and so good at like working out all my friends are stronger i'm trying that's not true i'm trying i've been trying to like go to the gym because i just know that like abby is about to unleash something i will that's you will yeah i'm gonna try to go to the gym as much as i can with you that's the thing that you learn through pregnancy though in my opinion maybe how do you feel the same way but like when you've been pregnant and then you're not pregnant anymore you're like i will never take for granted the fact that i can lift heavy things i can jump i can run i can do these things you'll never take for granted the fact that i can never take it for granted again my pelvic rest during her pregnancy you're like wow i took that for granted i took that for granted we'll never do that again we will never do that again and that's what i mean it's like you it's a it's good to slow down during pregnancy to you know make accommodations for your body so you can grow this baby but then afterwards you're like i will never take for granted that i can do activities and so then when i've been pent up for so long it feels so good to get back in the gym that's why i honestly need that's why i love burn too because i know that they will pace me they mark on your thing that you're like postpartum and then they will hold you accountable which is good because i'm like i do need someone to kind of be like hey easy easy there you know i love that yeah i don't even think my abs will you look so good you haven't you had a baby three weeks ago you literally had too nice a a like you know you just had a nine month pregnant belly three weeks ago and now you don't even look like you were ever pregnant that's not true but thank you that you look this is why i wear loose things you look incredible i don't know how you did it no i wear loose things honestly just because i'm just i'm really not sure what's gonna fit and i'm not ready to spiral trying to figure out what's gonna fit so we're just gonna wear the same things i wore while i was pregnant didn't you say that last time you ended up like buying a lot of new clothes but then they only fit you for a little bit of time yeah you just weren't able to wear them yeah i think at about like two or three months last time i like no not even maybe like two months okay you bought a lot of new clothes i bought a lot of new clothes because i was like i'm never gonna fit in anything ever again and then i didn't fit in those new clothes a couple months after that and then i had to get rid of them why did you just keep them for now wow such a good question well i also think that at this point postpartum every time we thought we were done having kids like i think we were like i think you just get rid of stuff like you you and your mom are like really good this is actually a good thing because i like it because i've already gotten rid of a bunch like a bunch of maternity clothes matt just so you know really yeah no way should i not i mean it's fine it's all good i mean like what what are you looking for me like that like i i love that you're not a hoarder i think you'd really bother me if you were a hoarder you actually call me a hoarder sometimes no you're not a hoarder you're just a you're a clutter guy you're a pile guy i find little piles you're not a you can say it my our garage has been i got our garage completely clean and then i started making no way this is why i just kind of a clutter yeah your version of cleaning is taking everything out and it's just like you're not a hoarder you're not a hoarder just not practical gotta help me you just need to put like a shelf up and then we can you're like we just need to clean it so we gotta get rid of literally everything what our garage does need is it needs the ceiling like storage where you can have boxes on the ceiling i that sounds miserable how will i ever reach that because then you just take a screwdriver there's like a thing you can screwdriver you take the screwdriver and you put it into the little spinny thingy and then it makes the whole mechanism lower so it's so it's like a it like lower it raises and raises with a screwdriver yeah i'll show it to you later do we have one of those we have yes we have a screwdriver anyway uh yeah i really that is something that's so true i cannot wait to go shopping what are you gonna go shopping for i don't know i just want i just really want new clothes nothing like being pregnant for nine months and then being postpartum to just make you itchy to just get new things because you know you kind of wear the same few things over and over at the end because it's all that fits and all that feels comfortable i feel like we've entered into a really fun stage of parenthood i think it's i think it's like so nice having like having a newborn when you have older kids to know what is going to like what everything's going to turn into is just so sweet and he's so sweet too even just like when he like looks in her eyes he's like it's like he's trying to figure us out just like we're trying to figure him out like we're like what is he like what does he like today i was like maybe he doesn't like being swaddled because he does like his arms are like he's like he's like he's like he's like and then i might try to because like you know we've done this before but also we're trying to get to know him and like specifically and he's trying to get to know us i feel like he just like looks in her eyes and he's just like i've heard this voice for so long yeah and he's like now i get to see you it's sweet he is so sweet sweet such a precious little guy and the boys love him they always ask to hold him which is hard sometimes because you're like you're really not sure how to hold a baby very well so we're like trying to like help them and they're like let go of your hands and we're like no you can't just hold them on your own so it's really sweet and i just can't wait to see like their relationship grow oh yeah with him and it's just been a really sweet season you need to go feed him right now yeah probably oh yeah so your milk came in because it's time to feed him no that's the funny thing really you're you're right now it's still trying to figure out it just it gets a little bit hard to figure out how to hold a baby because it's a little trigger happy sometimes it just it'll it'll figure out what i need to do that more but right now it's at the point where it's just gonna do a random letdown at any point gotcha if i hold the bait like if i wear him like if i'm baby wearing fisher i will have so many more letdowns than if i because my body is just like feed the baby feed the baby feed the baby and i'm like no if i hold him if i look at him it's just gonna make it happen that's crazy isn't that crazy that's yeah that's insane pretty cool your body's able to do some incredible pretty cool yeah you're an incredible woman hey you know what you're a great you're great you like talk about how the newborn stage is hard all the time but what you failed to talk about is how good you are at the newborn stage for especially for being a man what like what do you mean by that like you're limited by what you can do like you can't feed the baby you also are like i feel like most dads are like hands off with like little babies like they're freaked out you are the newborn guy like you are honestly i feel like our babies prefer you even though i'm the one with the milk like you're so good at knowing how to calm them you're so good at swaddling them you're so good at burping them you're so good at knowing like what they need and just jumping in and doing it like you have so much confidence too as a dad especially with a dad with a newborn you're so sweet like you're so good at i'm like i feel like people don't understand like listening to our show like how good you are with babies like you're insanely good with them you don't give yourself enough credit and so then that's why it's like easier for me to like get back up on my feet postpartum and do things because it's like i'm not i would never be able to like brush my hair brush my teeth if i didn't have you like knowing what to do and like so i could just have that time to just like do simple hygiene things but even more than that like i had time to shave my legs and curl my hair today like because you know what's you know what's up i will okay first of all that's so nice that you said that i will admit like before i was friends with a bunch of other dads i kind of thought of myself as this like as this i was like i'm pretty i'm doing pretty good like i'm i'm super involved with my kids i'm doing all this stuff and then i see how all these other dads are also super involved with their kids and because we're friends with good people and i think i think that's part of it i think we are friends with really good people but there's also been this huge shift between like nowadays most dads at least from what i've seen are very involved much more so than they used to be yeah it's like there's this big shift between you know the the the adult men that just want absolutely nothing to do with kids and aren't aren't about it and then you have like the dad the like the adult men that end up becoming fathers and and really want that and welcome that and fully take on all of that because because like a lot of my close friends they're like me where you know if they work from home they're taking time out of their work day multiple times from nine to five to play with their kids feed them you know help them go to the bathroom change diapers if they need to take them to school pick them up from school like doing all these things that dads you know 20 years ago just weren't doing yeah so especially in our grandparents generation because remember it was a lot of work but it was a lot of fun and it was a lot of fun and it was fun and it was fun and it was fun and it was fun and it was fun and it was fun and it's so much even still oh yeah i mean i think my grandmas are amazed by matt which it's like you are amazing and i am so grateful and i think it's good for me to hear that because i'm like sometimes i do take for granted how good you are with them and how much you're willing to step up and share those duties like i like me doing the bare minimum in front of your grandma as well i wouldn't say it's the bare minimum and then she's like just just going on and on about how it's sweet good i'm she's like you have no idea how like because i don't think that like it was common for men to even like change diapers to do any of those things now to be fair you are not a full-time stay-at-home mom like you work i'm also a breadwinner you're also yeah you also look at the roles shifting you make money okay no like we're we're both we're we both work and we're both very involved parents yeah we have it's kind of like we share we share both duties the responsibilities of work and home you know we're a good team which is good it's been really fun to be like teammates together and like in both work and at home yeah i think it's really good that our kids get a lot of time with both of us it's not just all me or all you yeah so which is a privilege like a lot of that's a very unique setup oh yeah usually like people aren't able to like shift schedules around like that or shift duties and it doesn't make sense to do that so we're so grateful and it's been so fun yeah it's been so fun like yeah oh yeah and it's been it's like already so rewarding just like like you know there's not much like that a newborn gives you but i just am already anticipating like his smiles but it's like so silly but even like him gaining weight is like yay or like him pooping we're like he's doing everything right like and i just know that it's just gonna keep getting more and more rewarding like a smile a laugh like eventually saying mama sitting up crawling like there's just so many things to look forward to yeah and we already know like it's just just around the corner you're right sweet well you guys thank you if you've made it to this far in the podcast oh my gosh thank you you're like one of the rare groups of people that actually finish the podcast so thank you um we will have another episode for you guys next week as always and if you haven't hit the subscribe button that would mean so much to us is actually over half of the people that listen to our show are not subscribed so if you could just check to see that you're subscribed that would be awesome it's a free way you can support us and as always peace out dudes peace