Speaker 1everywhere i go airports events walking down the street people stop me and say lewis this show got me through one of the hardest seasons of my life and it's one of the coolest things when people come up to me so if you see me please come up and say hi and let me know how this show the school of greatness has impacted you it lights me up because our mission at greatness media is to impact 100 million lives every single week so if today's conversation hits home for you do me a favor and push the follow button right now it means that the next conversation will be delivered to you and will find you exactly when you need it again thank you so much for being here and listening to the school of greatness make sure to follow right now to stay up to date on the latest and greatest what is the number one thought that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater
Speaker 2fear it's insecurity it's shame and when you're fearful this stimulate your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it when you love you're open you're generous you're thoughtful you're kind because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system and you have a choice best-selling author international speaker professor jim dotey dr james dotey what a pleasure to have you the one and only great teacher dr james dotey we know that what wires together fires together yes and my point about that is number one you have to work this isn't like oh i thought of it therefore it should happen it's like anything everybody's manifesting every day they just do it very inefficiently right how did you learn to
Speaker 1break the limiting beliefs and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your life
Speaker 2well first of all welcome back everyone to
Speaker 1the school of greatness very excited about our guests we have the inspiring james dotey in the house doctor hey dude good to see you thanks for being here sure i am fascinated by this topic of manifestation and i'm even more fascinated when you bring neuroscience research and studies that back the power of manifestation your new book mind magic the neuroscience of manifestation and how it changes everything i'm very excited about because you kind of walk us through these different steps on the process of manifestation so first i wanted to ask you a question about the difference between the law of attraction and the law of attraction and the law of attraction and the law of attraction and manifestation are they the same thing or are they different
Speaker 2well if you look historically at the law of attraction it goes back to hermetics which is this group in the first or second century a.d and there was this belief in the mind and they used the terminology the law of attraction and of course then there's a guy i think his name phineas quimby who uh uh then promoted this further and this was in the 18th century or so and then of course the law of course or 19th century and then we had uh who was it uh thinking grow rich pauline hill yes and uh and sort of continued on that path uh so um it is this narrative that there is this universal power that uh when you want something if you whatever use the right methods you will get it and uh and it's of course been embraced by the uh group who sort of promotes woo-woo and pseudoscience and that's not to say there's not a kernel of truth but it's been surrounded by all sorts of uh other aspects that i think diminish the actual power of it
Speaker 1so there is power in the law of attraction
Speaker 2well you could say it's synonymous the manner in which it is used is synonymous with manifestation uh the question is i think more importantly all of us are manifesting every day right most of us do it very unofficially right you know because everybody sits and says i want x y or z or i wish for this to happen i think there are techniques you can use that can maximize the potential for you manifesting your intentions so learning how the brain works and how those techniques work maximize that so you go it's like an athlete as you well know you know if you've never been taught something you try it for the first time you sort of stumble through it yeah frankly most people stumble through life right and then as you practice it or you learn from people who you know have the knowledge then you uh perfect it and uh and then you understand the if you want to say the neuroscience underpinnings of it and how you make these what we call cognitive brain networks interact uh and then you uh you've taken it from sort of well it might happen i thought about it too there's a high likelihood it will happen how i
Speaker 1mean how people talk about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind what is at play when we start to think about things we want to manifest and actually actualizing them in the physical material world is it the conscious mind or the subconscious mind that is driving this manifestation process well
Speaker 2that's an excellent question so the key is how do you get information which sticks into your subconscious so just saying i want this it may or may not work because again we're also distracted by all sorts of stuff you know as an example we have about 10 million bits of information coming in through our sensory organs every second 10 million yes and we're only able to pop process on a conscious level 50 to 100 okay so now most of that goes to maintaining homeostasis or functioning of our body systems on an unconscious level but uh we have actually access to our subconscious level and you can learn that through different techniques and then utilize those to maximize the input and so when i say you have 50 to 100 bits you can use part of that to maximize the input and so when i say you have 50 to 100 bits you can use part of that to maximize the input and so when i say you have 50 to 100 bits you can use part of that to consciously embed your intention if you know how to do
Speaker 1that interesting wow okay and as a you know as a brain surgeon and a neuroscientist yourself what did you learn through working on physical brains the matter as well as neuroscience in terms of i guess creating this for your life a more harmonious abundant life studying both the brain and
Speaker 2the mind well uh in some ways i i mean being a neurosurgeon is a physical task and it's not as if they're little signs on the brain that tell you where everything is now certainly we know from anatomy generally where things are but you have to remember i mean there's a subset of people who you know we talk about our speech center being on the left side but there's a subset of people that's on the right side really yes how do you know that you don't unless there's something that interests you and interferes with it or you specifically test for it so in general the anatomy is pretty consistent but you know it's like looking at somebody you know you're tall there's a short person and that's the way the brain works not everyone is wired the same way or uh has everything in the exact spot and in fact as an example let's say you play the violin the homunculus which is both the sensory and motor area that uh has uh different representations of body parts if you're a violinist the area associated with your hand or hands get dramatically increased in size compared to other uh parts of your brain interesting and in fact the same is true with uh certain types of meditation practices right so you can have a profound effect on your brain uh physical brain uh and certainly uh you have power over your mind and in some ways that's what we're talking about is and this goes back you mentioned the law of attraction you know uh all is in the mind and uh i think in fact some of the things you talk about you understand that when you are disciplined and can get access you can make things happen yes and whether it's a physical challenge or a mental challenge uh but you have to uh understand how to get access so how do we get access
Speaker 1i'm not going to tell you until you buy the book exactly well one of the things you talk about in the book is this phenomenon of vibration and you know it's interesting because there's brain waves but there's also heart energy or vibration as well and i think you mentioned about how the heart vibration is actually i don't know 10 or 15 times more powerful than the brain waves i think correct
Speaker 2yeah actually you can measure the uh vibrational energy from the heart that's five or six feet away and you know this is where it gets confusing between the woo-woo and the reality because a lot of people will wrap all sorts of other baggage onto that uh but it's true and the interesting thing about that though is and i'm sure you appreciated it you can meet people who have an energy about them and a presence about them and it makes you feel good yeah and typically these are people who are non-judgmental accepting yeah open uh and uh respect who you are as a person they don't look down and at you and you want to be around those people and those people emit this very positive energy. That's interesting. And so it's interesting also because, as an example, if you have a group of women who live together, over a period of months, their menstrual cycles will match. Really? Yes. Why is that? Well, it's the nature of this vibrational energy, and I talk about it in the book. And in fact, if you took a metronome, like had five or six metronomes lined up and watched them, and they're on the same table vibrating, they will all get in sync over a period of time. And so this idea of vibration has actually an influence on things.
Speaker 1On other things. Yeah. So if I'm acting chaotic and I'm constantly in this state of chaos, if I'm around someone else, I may influence them to create that type of vibration as well, or vice versa. They might influence me if they're calmer for me to get calm.
Speaker 2Yes. Yes. Absolutely. And in fact-
Speaker 1Which one wins?
Speaker 2Oh, that's a good question. I mean, it depends on how powerful that energy is. And that energy can be very powerful, negative or positive. Wow. And of course, I think you would agree, most people try to avoid being around negative people. Of course. You know, there's a saying that, what do they call them? Energy eaters, I think. Yes. You're around them. It's like, in fact, I got called by a woman the other day, and I just dread getting a call from her ever because it always turns, a drama about her, and you sit there, and it's just over and over again. And it's sad because, and we can talk about this more, all of us carry baggage from our childhoods, right? Yes. And until you are aware that the baggage you carry has an influence on every decision you make, every relationship you have, you can't change. As an example, I'm sure you've seen situations where individuals repeatedly pick an abusive partner. Yes. Over and over again. I think, I don't understand why this happens to me. Because you have created that energy that allows that to happen. And I'm not blaming. I'm just saying that this is true. So if you never understood, as an example, that, wow, when I was a kid, I had an abusive father, and, you know, he would be mean to me or hurt me, and he would say, you know, I'm not going to do that. You know, I'm not going to be nice to him. And the problem is, you know, that becomes familiar to you. And even though it's painful and hurts you, it is something that's associated with a love figure.
Speaker 1Interesting. And it's really very sad, actually. I mean, a lot of our programming and conditioning sounds like it is wired in us at a very young age. And we have been conditioned by seven, eight, nine, ten, to have a set of beliefs, and then we live with it for 10, 20, 30 years until we start to become aware of it. Hopefully sooner, but we kind of repeat these patterns until there's a breakdown or there's a sadness or a breakup or something that gets us to wake up. How hard is it to change our belief systems that have been wired in us for decades?
Speaker 2Well, it's very hard. I mean, you see it every day. You see people who become addicted to alcohol and drugs. And, you know, it's not because they want to live that life. It's because they're in such pain from the baggage they carry, and they have no way out.
Speaker 1That's the coping mechanism. Yes. The relief.
Speaker 2Yes. And so it's very sad. And as you pointed out, until there is a profound, painful event that gets their attention,
Speaker 1many of them won't change. Is it possible for people to change if they don't go through some type of painful, dramatic event?
Speaker 2Well, you know, there's a saying, the teacher comes when the student's ready. If the student's not ready, it's hard to change. Now, don't get me wrong. You know, there's certainly instances where somebody, like, wakes up one day and they go, I don't like this. You know, I feel horrible. You know, I've just ruined this relationship. I need to have an internal assessment of myself and talk to some people and to give me insight. Yes, you can do that. But it's hard. And even for me, as an example, as a child, I learned a sort of a manifestation technique from a woman in a magic shop. And this is actually about my first book, which is called Into the Magic Shop, A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart. And that story is about my own childhood growing up in poverty with an alcoholic father and a mother who had had a stroke when I was a child, was partially paralyzed, had a seizure disorder, and chronically depressed and attempted suicide multiple times. And we were on public assistance. Well, you know, you can imagine overcoming that baggage is very, very hard. But this is also an example of how one person can intervene and change somebody's life. And so what happened was I had an interest in magic and thus, actually, the name of this book is My Magic. And so what happened was I had an interest in magic and it ended up, when my parents would, some event would happen, which was traumatic, I would get on my bicycle and ride as far and as fast away as I could. And I ended up at a strip mall and there was a magic shop there. And I walked in and there was a woman there who was, as I described, this radiant person with this incredible smile whose very presence embraced her. And I was 12. Wow. And I was filled with despair, hopelessness. And it turned out she was the owner's mother. She knew nothing. She knew nothing about magic. Really? Yes. But we began a conversation and she was giving me chocolate chip cookies,
Speaker 1which was great. Exactly what you needed at that time.
Speaker 2But the thing is, she asked me, actually, some personal questions, which, frankly, you know, who wants to tell somebody you're poor, your father's an alcoholic? But I answered her questions. And after a while, she said to me, she said, you know, I really like you. I think I can teach you something. I think I can teach you something that could really help you. And what she taught me was what we would now call a mindfulness practice. Because, as you know, talking about baggage, when you grow up in an unpredictable, chaotic environment, you're essentially in a war zone every day. Yes. As a result, it chronically stimulates your sympathetic nervous system or your flight, fight, or fear response. And what happens is that affects your brain in the sense that it cuts down options because you're looking, at the shortest distance you have to go to survive. As a result, you can never relax. You're always fidgety. You're always looking around because you never know what's going to happen next. So she taught me a technique, what we'd call a body survey now, how to relax your body. And then she taught me how to concentrate, in this case, by looking at a candle and doing a breathing exercise. And these are the fundamental techniques associated with a mindfulness practice because then it shifts you. From engagement of your sympathetic nervous system to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is really where we should live. You're open, you're thoughtful, you have access to your executive control areas and the brain in terms of memory and experience, and you're much more creative. And so when you're able to make that shift, that changes how you look at the world. The other problem is from these types of backgrounds, but I would say essentially everyone, we have a negative dialogue going on. - An inner critic. - Yes, and as much as people say, I always ask this question when I give a talk, and almost everybody raises their hand, and then this, I'm done, and you go, "Look, dude, you're lying, man." Everybody has an inner critic. It's just some are much more powerful than others. And so she also taught me to recognize that that wasn't truth. - The inner critic. - Yes, because if you, and being an athlete, I'm sure you know, if you tell yourself it's not possible by definition, it is not possible. It cannot happen. And so when people listen to that, they are giving their self-agency away. And in some ways, this is the nature of how we take control of our manifestation. And as you know from the first sentence in the book, it says the universe doesn't give a about you because it has no to give. There is not some external entity deciding your fate because you're a good or a bad guy. But we have immense power within us to control our destiny. And when you give it away and listen to that critic, then you're limiting your beliefs. So the key is how do you unlimit your beliefs, if you will. And that is understanding the incredible power you have within yourself. When you sit there and say every day, I'm not worthy, I don't deserve love, it's not possible, I'm an imposter, I can't do it. It's as if you're building a prison for yourself with bricks, and the wall gets higher and it gets darker, and you feel more and more powerless. And you feel like there's some external force controlling your life. When you understand within you is an incredible power to change your destiny, and you have that power, and finally you recognize it, then extraordinary things can happen. And this is how you go from you being in charge, or let's say a belief that others believe, Others are in charge to actually you being in charge. but how did
Speaker 1i mean how did you learn to break free of the limiting beliefs that you had the fight or flight symptoms that you were constantly in which i felt as a kid as well uh involved very insecure stupid and unlovable for many different reasons and i was able to back it with beliefs and evidence throughout my childhood how did you learn to break the limiting beliefs and and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your
Speaker 2life well first of all i don't want to imply that that journey's done you know sometimes people look at you and they go man you have it all together now you none of us have it all together right every one of us is still a frail fragile human being who is struggling and uh uh some of us are a little further on that journey others are a little further on that journey others are a little further on that journey are continue to have difficulty but uh interacting with this woman made me see the world through a different lens because when you have negative statements that you tell yourself repeatedly as i said that takes away your agency yes your own power you feel powerless yes and but the thing is then when you're beating up yourself and you're typically the most critical person of yourself than anyone you know then you learn to break free of the limiting beliefs and evidence that you had you look through the lens of being critical to everyone else interesting so when we are critical
Speaker 1of ourselves does that support us in creating great relationships with
Speaker 2others no oftentimes it's very damaging because you're always thinking of oh well they're going to cheat on me they're going to lie because you're telling yourself these types of narratives and so uh it's hard to be authentic when
Speaker 1you're critical of so
Speaker 2yes yes and and this goes back to a whole nother discussion if you will about if you're critical of yourself then you're critical of yourself and you're critical of yourself if you look at the blue zones as an example i obviously we're jumping around all over the place
Speaker 1here but loma linda's right down the street an hour away one of the blue zones yes of course
Speaker 2uh but if you look at uh the blue zones or you look at the work of uh the harvard longevity or adult development study it's called yeah but this is the work of robert waldinger centuries ago when we lived in villages um we were born there uh we had a community that even with our flaws still loved us and watched out for us and taught us lessons we had our parents our siblings our grandparents in proximity to us and the very nature of that actually uh you don't have that negative dialogue going on okay it is a negative dialogue that's extraordinarily unhealthy uh because you see when you're always stressed and anxious and negative towards yourself well what does this do this stimulates your sympathetic nervous system which then does what it results in the production of uh inflammatory proteins which of course are associated with chronic disease states it depresses your immune system uh it increases the levels of stress hormones like cortisol which on a chronic basis are very bad for you your cardiac function's impaired your blood pressure's increased so all these negative aspects are activated when you're constantly hypercritical wow right and then you don't feel that good right you felt tired you feel exhausted and drained and the other aspect is as an example with my own parents i used to have a sense that it wasn't that i wasn't loved but i was ignored uh i couldn't understand why they would do these actions and i was angry all the time and when i changed how i looked at the world it made me much more sympathetic and kind because i realized everyone is suffering on some level and the issue wasn't that they didn't care the issue was they had not had tools to help themselves to heal to process to regulate exactly and so you know i'm sure you've known people you watch them go through their lives and they constantly struggle because no one has ever shown them a different way and that's the only way and sometimes i think you're probably thinking yes i've showed them a thousand times they don't listen they're not willing yeah
Speaker 1they've got to be willing to apply right back to the question of the teacher if they're if they're
Speaker 2ready to yes yes yes but the reason i was saying that though is that uh in many ways sets the stage for how you're going to respond so this interaction with this woman i was able to self-regulate i taught you skills yes she taught me a mindfulness and you were ready for it exactly and so i realized once i was able to relax once i was able to be present and attend because you can't learn anything or change if your mind's always somewhere right in my example growing up you know i never knew what was going to happen so i'm always worried about something happening to me but the action is here between you and i it's not about possibilities and this also limits people's power right because you if you can't focus and attend you can't accomplish right and if you're always distracted it's it's not possible so she taught me to relax she taught me to be present and uh and then strange things happen because you're feeling a different type of energy coming from others and yourself and that energy has an influence as an example um i'm sure that you've seen the situation uh and where you get a bad vibe from somebody on the street and you cross the street yeah well and and you are picking up something on an intuitive level but the thing is if you have anger and hostility yourself you are imitating that to other people and what i tell people is when i changed how i looked at myself it changed how i looked at the world and it that changed how the world reacted to me how then
Speaker 1how the world looked at
Speaker 2you as well exactly so after this period of time with this woman i was much more open i was thoughtful i was generous i was kind and i because i understood i had been in pain and was in pain but so were other people so it changed how i looked at them wow and i think that's a very critical aspect of sort of uh maturing uh and sort of sure being on a path of uh self-development
Speaker 1that's beautiful what would you say then is the what is the the number one thought and number one emotion that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater fear
Speaker 2what type of fear well it's insecurity it's shame and uh it's this results in you limiting your beliefs and so in some ways what we're talking about here actually is a decision between fear and love right and when you're fearful this stimulates your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it when you you love you're open you're generous you're thoughtful you're kind because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system and you have a choice this is like if you look at stoic philosophers like somebody like epictetus who was a slave he says i cannot control my external environment what i can't control is how i react to my environment right so you meet people i'm sure say my life's miserable my life's horrible while you're meet other people who are miserable people go well it's tough right now but i'm you know optimistic it's going to get better or i know if i do this it's going to get better these are completely oppositional attitudes that have a profound profound effect depending on what you're
Speaker 1believing yes but how does someone shift their attitude into positive when they're in a suffering state and they feel like they're a victim to so many different things happening to them
Speaker 2sure well i can't sit here and say you do this and your life's going to be perfect there's some situations either because of as an example structural racism that's built into the system uh or chronic poverty because uh throughout the world and even in america the ability to overcome poverty uh for most it's highly unlikely that's going to happen so yes you do have power but it's not necessarily i'm going to change it and everything's going to be perfect for me and i'm not perfect for you right yeah and no matter how much you try or want well externally things may look fantastic it's not perfect sure and it's not the way you necessarily want and and i i have to say the same thing but there are people who yeah uh no matter how hard they're going to work it's going to be very challenging that being said what we do know is there's certain practices and rules and if you are going to get out of something or if you are going to change things then the best way to do that which has the highest likelihood of success is to go through some of the things that we're talking about here and one of those is that as an example there is a tendency for us to want to achieve right and if you're an athlete you have a goal you set there well goals and are fine But if you focus only on the goal, and have no concern about any of the other things that are going on. The process. Yeah, then you reach the goal and there's nothing there. Yeah. Yet what we do know, the greatest cause of suffering is what? It's attachment and craving. Desires. Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, when that is your absolute focus and we can't all get these things, you're going to be highly disappointed and you've ignored all the people in your life as you focus solely on that. And unfortunately, many people learn that lesson far along after they've destroyed their families, they've been through multiple marriages, their kids don't like them, right?
Speaker 1Because they've been chasing a result or a goal or a dream but neglecting everything else.
Speaker 2Yeah, because again, as I was saying even about myself, I thought, well, if I just do this, my shame and insecurity will go away. I'll be loved by everybody and my life will be perfect. Yet at every one of those peaks, all I had was disappointment. And while everyone told me life was great, I did not feel that inside because I had not understood that I was the only one who had the key to the self-created prison. And until you realize that, you're on a very difficult path.
Speaker 1So if we're coming from a place of insecurity, fear, or lack, and we're saying, you know what? I want to manifest. I want to create more for myself. I want to have more money. I want to have more opportunities, accomplishments, success. And that's what I want. I desire these things. And I start to apply some of the practices of manifesting and creating more abundance in my life. But if I create those external results and I haven't shifted the insecurities or the shame, what happens next?
Speaker 2Well, you end up the way I did, which is you have everything and you're incredibly unhappy.
Speaker 1Yeah. So you can still manifest and attract what you want and create what you want and accomplish goals, but it's not going to make you feel different about yourself. It might actually make you feel worse.
Speaker 2Exactly. And this is why I was telling you about the story about the woman because I was 12 and she taught me a visualization technique or manifestation technique, which is actually the origin of where this book came from. So at 12, she said, I want you to write down 10 things that you want. Well, again, unfortunately, in Western capitalist society, in a 12-year-old, you sit there and think of what people want. I want money.
Speaker 1I want cars. I want girls.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, I wanted a Rolex watch because a friend of mine's father had one and it looked so amazing to me, right? I wanted a silver Porsche Targa. I wanted a mansion overlooking the ocean, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1At 12? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And I wanted a million dollars, which nowadays would probably be about 100 million. But anyway, and I got, I got absolutely every one of those things and I was more miserable than I had ever been. And the interesting thing about that is that, and this is in some ways the point of this book, because again, the average person thinks they know what they want. They don't understand what they need. And that's the critical aspect here.
Speaker 1What's the difference between knowing what we want and having what we need?
Speaker 2So as you know, there's what we call hedonic happiness. So the list I just gave you relates to pleasure and hedonic happiness. I want, it will make me feel good about myself. I, I, I. That is the worst thing you can do if you want to manifest the best. Really? Yes. When you make it about self. Yes, because in some ways you're talking about insecurity. The driver of that is insecurity, fear, right? And not enough. And not enough. And especially poor people, look through the lens of not enough. And so when you're acting by a belief based on fear, that has a negative effect on these cognitive brain networks. Now it doesn't mean it's not possible. It just means that you're limiting yourself. And so we talk about this idea of hedonic or selfish happiness, and this is transitory, it's shallow, it doesn't last long, right? Eudaimonic happiness, is a sense of purpose. And that actually is in terms of benefiting others. It's not about yourself. And the key to that though, is that when you look through the lens, and we're talking about looking through the lens of compassion, what happens is that you then change how you see the world and what you need, not what you want. - Interesting. - Right. You see, and that changes everything because you realize when you're of service, when you're caring for others, you don't necessarily need the, having that big house or the Porsche isn't gonna make you whole. - Right. - And so you probably don't chase that anymore because it's a chimera that you're focused on because you think it's going to help get rid of the shame and the emptiness. - Right. - You see, so it's a different mindset. So when you shift to the parasympathetic nervous system, that activates all of your brain networks and allows them to sync together, if you will, and then has the highest likelihood of manifesting. -
Speaker 1Interesting. So what I'm hearing you say, and correct me if I'm wrong, when we come from a place of lack and wanting more for personal gain by itself, it's not gonna bring us the ultimate level of happiness versus when we come from a place of wanting to create more to serve or impact others in some way that is connected to a purpose, a greater purpose, we will have more fulfillment and hopefully manifest exactly what we need. -
Speaker 2Exactly. That's exactly right. And that summarizes it. That is the fundamental key here. - Interesting. - And I can tell you, you know, for myself, as I said, I did get everything I wanted and I was miserable. And then I went through this period where I'd been very successful in business and during the dot com period, and I had $80 million or so. And then the crash came. I was $3 million in debt, but I had been miserably unhappy anyway. -
Speaker 1With 80 million or negative 3 billion? -
Speaker 2Well, there was not much difference actually. -
Speaker 1When you had 80 million of, I guess, net worth in the bank or on paper, how did that make you feel? Did you feel any better about your self-worth? - No. - Really? - No, not a bit. - Not even for like a moment? - Not at all. - No. - Like, "Hey, now I did this thing." - No. - "Look, I proved all you wrong." -
Speaker 2Yeah, but yes, I proved them all wrong, but it did nothing for me. And that's my point is, you know, well, let me back up a little bit. Did I enjoy driving Ferraris? Yes. Did I enjoy Porsches? Yes. Did I enjoy having a villa in Florence? Yes. But that being said, I was missing so much. - Hmm. - That it limited how good I felt about any of it. Because, you know, having friends who tell you how great you are, unless you believe it, it doesn't mean anything. - Wow. - And, you know, I didn't believe it. And so, when the dot-com period came, I lost all this money and I had to sell everything. And so I went through this period of deep reflection. And the part of it was, what had I missed in what this woman was trying to teach me? And obviously, I was 12, and I had, you know, I had no self-awareness. But the other thing that happened is, even though I was a doctor helping people, my actions, though, were based on, I want people to see I'm a doctor, right? - Status. - Yes, status. - Acknowledgement, look at me. - Yeah, like, yeah, I'm the doctor. I live in this mansion overlooking the ocean. I have all of these cars. I come into the hospital and everyone praises me, right? And that was out of my own insecurity and anxiety. When I went through this period of self-reflection, I really understood that. And then it changed, right? Because it was no longer about me. It was about other people. And as an example, I mentioned Jim Carrey. - I love that part about this, yeah. -
Speaker 1Yeah. - I love the story of the $10 million check and the whole thing. -
Speaker 2Right, but what he said with his audience was, you know, when he started, it was all about his own ego being involved. - Yes. - And then he realized, though, he was there for a purpose to be of service to the people. - Yeah. - And in fact, Jimmy Page with Led Zeppelin, I don't know if you ever heard this story, you know, he used to get really angry because he'd always be asked to play Stairway to Heaven. And he said, "It used to make me boil over because I had new music, I did all of this, but everyone wanted to listen to Stairway to Heaven." And he said, "Then I realized it's not about me. "It's about me." -
Speaker 1Right? - It's about serving others. -
Speaker 2Yes. - And what they want. - Yes, and they had grown up with this. They had an emotional attachment to it because it represented events in their lives that were positive and they just wanted to experience that. And so he was being very selfish by looking through that same lens. And again, this is what we get into. So when you change how you look at the world, it changes everything. And again, this is a choice that each of us can make.
Speaker 1Hmm. Wow. As a, you know, As someone who's been a doctor and a neuroscientist, neurosurgeon for many years, researching this work for a long time, what is the biggest challenge you face at this season of your life when it comes to manifesting that you still have yet to overcome or are overcoming?
Speaker 2Well, one of the things I learned is not to have attachment. Yeah. To what? To anything. And look, it's not perfect, but my point is, and yes, if we'd say, well, what about your child or your wife and something like that? Yes. But that being said, the nature of life is disappointments oftentimes, and we cause our own suffering by having these attachments, right? And so do I like nice cars? And yeah, I drive a Porsche.
Speaker 1Right. Luxuries and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And I've worked very hard. I've given immense amounts to other people. I have no bad feeling about those things. But what I can tell you is if all of it goes away tomorrow, it will have no impact on my mental state. Wow. And that is the key because you see- Yes. And that's exactly right because if you grow up in poverty, what is the thing that binds you or holds you or imprisons you? Money. Okay. So when I lost everything and then I had this choice of this stock that I could give away to charity or not, I chose to give it away, which was $30 million, but giving it away liberated me. Why? I just didn't care anymore. Wow. It no longer imprisoned me, you see. And that is a level, you know, it takes time and work to get to. Yeah. And, you know, many people, my wife said when I gave all that money, she said, I don't, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal. She goes, I don't mind him giving money away. I just wish he hadn't given it all.
Speaker 1Now, I'm curious when, you know, is it a bad thing for people to want to have material possessions, a nice car, a nice home, you know, a million dollars in their bank account or nice clothes? Is that a bad thing when they're thinking of manifesting? Because it's about them?
Speaker 2Well, if that, if everything is about you and your narrative is always about you, I think you're going to live an unhappy life. Right. Because you have no purpose or meaning. Right. Right. I mean, yes, is it cool to walk around in designer clothes and go to parties and hang out with the whatever? Yeah, sure. There's nothing wrong with that. But when every action in your life is a selfish action. And towards your needs, then it's a hollow existence. As an example, I know people, of course, they can't attach to a woman. They have to have the next beautiful woman. And they, you know, and their whole thing is be seen with the beautiful woman. It's not about, I care about this person. I really like her. She's really special. It's, you know, does she have the attributes that make me look good? Okay. Or it's, you know, God, I can't go to this event. And that car of mine, I need to be in a Ferrari. So people look at me. Right. And that is a hollow, very selfish existence. Now, I'm sure there are people who are listening, go, I'm not that way. Well, you are that way. Oh, right. Sure.
Speaker 1And you're saying you can have it, though. But as long as you're also in, have meaning or purpose around your life as well. Otherwise, it'll be hollow. If you just want the material home or the bigger, bigger, bigger thing. Yeah. But you can still have it.
Speaker 2Of course. Absolutely. I have it. I have no complaints and I work hard and I have no guilt about that whatsoever. But I still do tons of actions that are benefit to a larger goal or mission or to a larger purpose outside of myself.
Speaker 1You talk about these networks and vibrations. You mentioned this, the physiology of manifesting. I'm curious, is it more important to be thinking a certain intention or certain ideas? Or beliefs, feeling a certain emotions or physically in a vibration, total body to help you manifest?
Speaker 2Well, certainly if you can bring it all together, I mean, that's the ideal. But I think one is, again, we've talked about limited beliefs. Yes. You have to understand what causes you to limit your belief. And in some ways, it comes down to self-compassion. When you're kind to yourself, then that changes your own physiology. It shifts you from the fear network. And critical network into compassion, right? Yes, exactly. And so I think that's an important aspect. And again, as an example, I talk about these different networks. There's the default mode network. There's the salience network, the attention network, and the executive control network. Now, the reason I mention these is the executive control network is a network of people who actually gets things done, if you want to put it that way. But if you're driven by fear and anxiety and insecurity, then that limits its ability to do so because you don't have full access, because that's where you have productivity
Speaker 1and creativity. Full access to what?
Speaker 2Your memories and past experiences. This is what the executive control network contains. And it's shut down when you're fearful or anxious. And so that's one aspect. And then the other aspect, we talk about embedding your intentions. You have to make that thing you want salient. What does that mean? It means it has to be something that touches you, that you really feel like it's there with you and you want it. And the reason I bring that up is because salience is it activates. If you want to call it a bloodhound within your head, where it looks around for opportunities for you to manifest. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 1You're talking about bloodhound or you're talking about something else?
Speaker 2It's search for things, right? It's ascent, right? That's what they do for rescue missions, right? Yes, yes. Exactly. So what I mean by that is that if you're able to embed your intention, that activates the situation. Salience network, which is the bloodhound, and the analogy is as follows. I'm sure you have been to parties and they're loud and your name will be mentioned and you'll immediately turn, even though it's in the loud. Yeah, you're like, where is this? Yeah, but that's because your identity is deeply embedded within you, right? Interesting. Yes. So when you do this in terms of an intention, and I'll give a recent example. I'm working on a new project and I was at a coffee shop. And again, loud, everybody talking. But I heard somebody specifically talk about the project type of the thing I'm doing. So I got up and introduced myself. We connected. And that's how it works because it creates these synchronicities because it's always turned on listening for opportunities, how it can make your intention happen. And another example is as a neurosurgeon, you know, I would see patients, as an example, let's say somebody with hydrocephalus. Right. And most people don't know about that. And they'd go, oh, my God, I've never heard of that before. Is that rare? Well, it's not that rare. And obviously, if you've seen a neurosurgeon, it's not rare to us. But what will happen is I'll see them in a few months and they'll come in. The most amazing thing happened. I've run into five people with the exact same thing. Right, right, right. Because they have embedded that. And so they're attuned to it. And suddenly it's like it's everywhere.
Speaker 1My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode. And the School of Greatness. Drops new conversations every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around money, mindset, healing, manifestation and relationships. And if you're not yet following the show, then you're missing all of them. Please tap the follow button right now and you'll get notified the moment every new episode drops because the next one might be exactly what you need. Now, let's get back to the conversation. You talk about synchronicities in the book. How important is. Finding and looking for synchronicities when it comes to manifesting.
Speaker 2Well, I think if you do it correctly, they naturally occur over and over again. And you may think they're shocking and how did that happen? But that's because you have made your intention salient. It has grasped your attention network and it is solely focused on having that happen. And once that process occurs, then you engage your executive control. Network to actually then respond to it.
Speaker 1Interesting. So you set your intention for what you want to create or desire, and then your attention starts to focus on that in the world, in your environment, and you start to see where the synchronicities line up. And then you mentioned this thing called the filing clerk, right?
Speaker 2Yes, yes, exactly. And that relates in some ways, first of all, one of the process, which we talked about, you know, having the ability on a conscious level to embed your intention that is to, um, we call it value tag, right? Uh-huh. Which makes it important. Rather than intention. Yes, yes. Yes. And so once you value tag that, that becomes important in your subconscious, and then the networks start working together. To look for it. Yes. Now, what I will emphasize, and I don't want to, you know, completely poo-poo every article that's been written about manifesting. You know, I mentioned the issues I have with The Secret or other of these self-serving narratives. But the reality is we know that what fires together fires together. Fires together, yes. And my point about that is, number one, you have to work. This isn't like, oh, I thought of it, therefore it should happen. It's like anything, and we talked about it earlier. You know, everybody's manifesting every day. They just do it very inefficiently, right? So when you do it efficiently, all of these things, you know, come together. To have it happen. This is why, as an example, what this woman in the magic shop did, and this was before, you know, these ideas sort of were out there. She made me write my list of things I wanted to manifest down. Because, again, when you use every sensory organ, then, again, you're engaging all of these different things that go into your subconscious. So you write it down. You. Read it silently. You read it aloud. You look at it. You visualize. And this is what athletes do. They visualize how it's going to play out. They see themselves in that role. And the more and more you do that, the stronger that wiring gets in your brain. And, therefore, that increases the chance of it happening.
Speaker 1Interesting. So she taught you this. You wrote it down, and you started doing these processes.
Speaker 2Oh, I would really do this. Like tens of, maybe hundreds of times a day. Wow. Over and over and over again.
Speaker 1But it took you a while until you were able, from 12 until you were able to get, you know, a million dollars in the bank, in the mansion, the Ferrari. It didn't happen in four years, I'm assuming. It probably took 15 or 20 years.
Speaker 2Well, sure. But there was a whole process, right? Yes. Because, first of all, I had decided to be a doctor in fourth grade. Right, right. And this was based on a professions day where a doctor came to our class. And I was so impressed by it. I was so impressed by this person that that second I decided to be a doctor because he was kind, he was thoughtful, he answered my question, he appeared interested in what I had to say. And so saying, if you're poor and you don't have resources, saying, I'm going to be a doctor is easier said than done. Sure. And, in fact, I did have challenges. But I'll tell you a couple stories, though, that tells you how the system works, even though you haven't done it. I haven't done all the typical things to make it work. Okay. And so I'll tell you how I got into medical school and how I got into college. I was so clueless about college, even though I said I was going to go to college. I was in a science class and there was a girl sitting next to me and she was filling out her college application. I had no clue about that. That you had to apply or… Yeah. I was sort of waiting until I was supposed to have that. Sure. So I looked at this girl and I asked her what she was doing. She said, well, I'm applying to college and this is the application. I said, really? And she looked at me and said, yeah. And I said, well, where are you applying to? And she said, UC Irvine. And she looked at me and she said, where are you applied? I said, UC Irvine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the process. I haven't got my application yet. She said, I have an extra one. Wow. There you go. Yeah, and I filled that out and, you know, I got in.
Speaker 1But… Isn't that interesting before you go on there? Because, you know, you were given the opportunity that you saw that was in front of you. You didn't think beyond other schools. You saw something. You didn't know another process. You said, yeah, I'm going to go there as well. And she said, here's the application. You filled it out. You got in and you went there.
Speaker 2Right? Yeah, no. And that's my point is it was in there. I didn't know how it was going to play out. Yes. But it played out. And it certainly wasn't the typical way. Process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So then what happened is, you know, I had a lot of struggles. I had to leave college multiple times, as an example, to get my father out of jail. Wow. Or to deal with my mother who attempted suicide, which are not pleasant things to go through. And so when I applied to medical school, the average GPA to get into medical school was 3.79 at that time, which is, you know, out of four, that's like an A-. Yeah, sure. My GPA then was 2.53. Wow. And I was not… You and me both. Let's go. Yeah. And I was not going to graduate from college. Right. And so I went to the pre-med. And, of course, as you know, when you have all these quote-unquote friends, and you say, I want to be a doctor, and, you know, many of my friends were pre-med, and they were the type of pre-meds who had 3.79. Sure, sure. And, you know, it was very hurtful because they said, you're never going to be a doctor. That GPA, what a joke, right? Which, you know, this is your dream, right? It's painful. So, anyway, I went to the doctor. I went to… We used to have to… Or you used to have to have an interview with the pre-med committee. So, you had to go get an appointment. And then they would write a letter of recommendation for you. So, I went to the office. I asked the secretary. I said, I want to make an appointment for my pre-med letter. Yes. She looked at me. She said, I'm not going to give you an appointment. I said, well, why? You know, she had pulled out my phone. She said, because it's a waste of everyone's time. Oh, man. Now, can you imagine a human bead tally? You, that you're a waste of their time. I mean, how hurtful. Very. But I looked at the woman. And I said, you know, I appreciate what you're saying. But I said, I am not leaving here until you give me that appointment. Wow. I said, if you want to call security, that's fine. But I am not leaving. So, she did. But imagine. So, it comes time for my appointment. Now, do you remember these photos we've seen of Putin sitting at one end of a table? He's by himself. Yes, yes. So, I go into this room. And I'm at one end of this long table. And I'm, what, 20 years old, maybe? And then there are these three people at the other end of the table. And the guy in the middle, he has my file. And he looks at me and says, he takes the file, lifts it up, throws it on the table. And he says, say what you have to say so we can get this over with. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. And you sit there. And, you know, how intimidating. And what a jerk, right? So, what happened is. I looked at the guy. And I said, I am not going to let you turn me into a grade point average. I'm a human being. Wow. So, I proceeded to lecture them for about 20 minutes. Oh, my goodness. They were all crying at the end. Because once you show your humanity, they can't turn away from you. They can't objectify you if you're right there in front of them and force them to look at you. Wow. And so, what happened is. They ended up actually giving me the highest letter of recommendation. Wow. And as I was leaving, that secretary actually was in the room. She said, listen, I want you to take this. And it was a trifold brochure for a summer enrichment program at Tulane University in New Orleans for socioeconomically disadvantaged students and minority students. And she looked at me and she said, you know, I have to tell you something, though. The deadline has passed. But I don't think that will impact you. So, I called the lady and she let me into the program. And I applied to one medical school and got into one medical school. Wow. And I didn't have a degree. Wow. Now, to show you, though, the importance of this is that after Hurricane Katrina, the dean of the medical school went into depression and resigned. Okay. And so. So, they were looking for a new dean. At Tulane. At Tulane. And they had a guy from Harvard, but he wanted an endowed chair. And I don't know if you're familiar with an endowed chair. So, an endowed chair is a private donor, donates a lot of money. And it is a chair named after that person. It's one of the highest honors in academic medicine. Okay. Or in the university. And that money is made into an endowment. So, then the professor then gets to use it for whatever they want. Interesting. So, this is a very prestigious thing. So, I actually ended up endowing the dean's chair. You know, fast forward many years. Sure. Wow. Yeah. Which was several million dollars. Interesting. So, still at Tulane, the dean of the medical school is the Doty professor. Wow. I rebuilt the library after Hurricane Katrina. And so, the point of the story is no one has the ability to tell you what you can and cannot do. In theory, by every, quote, criteria, I should never have gotten into medical school, right? Yet, I'm one of the largest donors to the medical school. And in fact, they're actually building a Doty Center for Compassion and Medicine at Tulane. That's cool. Yeah. So, when we think that things are impossible, when we think that it can't happen, or I don't have the criteria that is usually, don't ever believe anything anyone tells you. If I believed what so many people told me was not possible, for me to do i would never have accomplished anything and again it gets back to this limiting your beliefs once you unleash this understanding of the power you have then you can do almost anything yes you just have to
Speaker 1believe absolutely i love this story because you know you mentioned don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do i guess the the challenge is so many people do believe what others say about them you know they do receive the criticism or the limits that others talk about and a lot of people hold on to those conversations and and believe them as truth and i the thing is i feel like there's only one person like you said that can agree with the limits or disagree with those limits and that is ourselves and at the same time you know everyone can tell you you have all the skills all the tools all the potential all the ability to do something great but if you don't believe it it's not going to matter as much even if everyone in the world has said we believe in you you're incredible if we are limiting ourselves from receiving those words and receiving that understanding and identity we won't accomplish what we want or we won't create the lives we want so how do we overcome ourselves from the conversations and the critics in our own mind and also the conversations from others whether they're positive or negative how do we overcome it and believe we are capable well first
Speaker 2off i would say that a lot of people you'll hear let's say a statement i made and they'll sit there and go okay i'm going to do this tomorrow i'm going to do everything okay i'm going to get in shape and i'm going to run 10 miles and then i'm going to study for this and the problem is that's the worst thing you can do and in fact i'm sure you probably know bj fogg he wrote this book tiny tiny habits but he and i were having a conversation recently you have to start slow okay pick one simple thing to show that you have the power right and it could be something as simple as i'm going to get up at six in the morning and walk around the block and you just do that because what happens is now you're changing your belief system you're saying i set this goal and i was able to do it and i do it every day now right then it can be a little longer and etc etc etc until suddenly you're running a marathon when before you could barely get up and walk around the block and i think that's really the key is start small congratulate yourself for small wins and accept that and then let that sink in and then just do another thing and it's a slow process nothing happens overnight and again if you think well it's going to happen and it's all going to be perfect tomorrow that's not how it works and you know obviously in my own life you know this has taken decades and you know i think hopefully what this book does though it allows you to see the world in a different way to use the techniques that are outlined there to not have to go through the pain and suffering right that i and others have gone through and it gives you some insights some tools and again and i'm sure you've experienced you'll get like a book sometimes go that is what i was missing yes this is what uh you know i need and what i've tried to do is both by showing you the science behind it but also intertwining stories like i mentioned the one about jim carrey and i've also included actually individuals who i have interacted with in my own life who've had these profound changes based on having a different perception of who they are and the way they're and the power they have yes there's a part in
Speaker 1the book we talked about tapping into flow states i think you even said like the placebo yeah and something else and hypnosis so how do we tap into flow states placebo effect and hypnosis to start to manifest better so one of
Speaker 2the points of those examples is to show that actually very simply you you can get there without anything right i mean hypnosis you can uh and you can do self-hypnosis of course but you i'm sure most of the listeners are thinking of the guy who comes and he goes like this yes right but that is how fast if you train yourself to get access and i talk about uh monks and i talk about wim hof you know these people access the power they have within and it takes practice and diligence yes but the same processes are similar to hypnosis and uh the placebo effect and the interesting thing about the placebo effect is that you can even know it's a placebo and it will still have the same effect and it still gets results yes yes and so and also if you think about exercising a particular muscle group you your muscles will increase without you doing anything wow it's crazy you see but this is the power because the brain doesn't know the difference between what you're thinking and reality right so if you embed it in there now that's not to say your muscles are going to get as big as a you know an olympic weightlifter but they do increase in in mass and so getting access to this access to these things within you that you don't appreciate is very very powerful and you talk about the flow state you know this is the state of being where everything aligns right yes and that's where we want to be we're we're not paying attention to time we're not paying attention to external externalities we're just doing it now again you don't want it to turn into i've ignored everything in my life to get to that goal but you want to live in a way in which things naturally come and you're living it and it's a process that's all working together for you to
Speaker 1manifest your goals wow that's beautiful um what is the most important thing for you to do in your life what is the most important thing for you to do in your life recent research about the placebo and how can we use that science or data to impact our lives positively well again
Speaker 2it and the weird thing about it is you don't even have to believe that it will happen wow uh uh now if you if you believe it's the real thing it'll probably be more powerful better yeah yeah uh but uh but again it's embedding this belief into your head and and that and you know there's a six-week program in the book but it gives you a step-by-step way to do that and again uh it's not one and done you have to do the work you know although i say the universe doesn't give a about you i also would say god only helps those who help themselves right and uh uh and you know when i make that statement at the end of the book basically my statement is you are the universe right you are the power that decides and again it's understanding how much power you have within yourself you know there's a um we're talking about people getting stuck in things uh you know sometimes you cannot predict what's going to happen to you but there's this attitude it's called uh dispositional optimism i don't know reading that but it's understanding that things don't work on our timeline and having a constant state of an optimistic view of the world again that aligns you because it keeps you in this constant state of engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system and again if you can live in that state and look through the world through that lens your physiology is going to be at its best your longevity is going to be increased you're going to be much happier in terms of of uh purpose and meaning in your life you know nothing i or at least i can't imagine nothing worse than you know being a crotchety old man still chasing uh 20 year old women right having three or four ferraris and uh actually it reminds me i'll tell you a funny story i was uh um an aspen giving a talk and one of the benefactors was an 80 year old fellow a widower who survived the holocaust wow and uh so he invites everyone up to his house so you know you pull up to this huge mansion that's you know 20 30 million right in aspen in aspen yeah yeah you know one of his multiple sure so i go in there and you know i've been one of the main speakers so he comes up to me and starts talking and uh you know he looks at my watch and he says see this he points to his watch million dollars and i'm like who cares yeah who cares and he says come here and i'm like who cares and he says come here and i'm like who cares and come here and i said okay so he takes me out to his garage and again tons
Speaker 1of cars and yeah yeah
Speaker 2and uh i'm looking at him and then he starts saying you know i've i've never been happy and uh i said okay and he goes you know he tells me about actually his tragic holocaust experience and how he you know married this woman but he was never in love or passionate etc etc he said you know i'm miserable i'd do anything to be happy wow okay and i said okay and he says can you do anything for me and i said yeah i can i said if you spend 10 hours with me i will give you that gift so he says really and i say yeah he says well how much will it cost and i said it'll cost a hundred thousand dollars an hour okay he looks at me says five hundred thousand an hour or total no total well it was yeah it was half yeah and i said no it doesn't work that way yeah it's a million dollars and i'm guaranteeing you guaranteeing you wow and and uh so his his uh daughter is there and she overhears our talk and she comes over and she says papa you know this is like a neuroscientist he studies this you should do this and uh he looks and he says foolish girl you don't know anything about money and he says i i have to save this money for you and she looks and she goes i have everything i need i don't need anything and she goes do it and he goes no no no you don't need anything and she goes do it and he goes no no no you don't need anything you're you're foolish and my point is here was an opportunity for him to learn something to get what he said he absolutely wanted yet his own selfish self-interest and drive wow overpowered anything to actually give him what he wanted wow interesting yeah yeah well he
Speaker 1had a belief he had an identity around what he thought he needed to hold on to which was more money yeah yeah and
Speaker 2and and and but that was what always was making him happy or unhappy his whole
Speaker 1life exactly but it gave him a sense of false security or status or influence or power or something well unfortunately
Speaker 2though uh you know there are people like that but the reality is all the people around them are
Speaker 1laughing at them yeah and then they're they're making he they are making the people around them more miserable probably
Speaker 2oh yeah be well because they have to win right million dollars you know that's
Speaker 1a one-up to everyone
Speaker 2else yeah yeah and that's a very classic thing in fact i'm not being critical of warren buffett but you know i mean you there's a story that his wife wrote that said you know he was never interested in the money he was interested in winning the game
Speaker 1the game of winning yeah
Speaker 2right right and you know uh it's not always about winning sometimes it's about caring for others understanding people being of service you know imagine somebody who has that degree of wealth what he could have done let's say uh fund an orphanage or uh help the people who can't uh afford food and aspen right right and and and it would have been a minuscule so small compared to
Speaker 1what he actually had yeah wow this idea of identity um you know we start to build our identity as children and our teens and our 20s how how do we start to identify what our identity actually is and how it is empowering us or disempowering us and how it is empowering us and how it is empowering us and how it is in this pursuit of manifesting
Speaker 2well the problem is for many people is that they have bonding and attachment issues uh that uh have been imprinted on them yeah
Speaker 1and ancient anxious or avoidant
Speaker 2attached or yeah yeah and so they don't appreciate uh you know look when you're growing up and you know seven or eight years old you're not uh understanding this yes but these types of uh you know they get deeply embedded and and you carry it with you and so one is you have to make the effort to understand as an example i'm sure some of the listeners go oh well now i have a little idea because i keep choosing this jerk to have to be a partner with well why do i do that and you have to sort of go backwards and self-reflect and yeah yeah uh you know i was giving a talk one time and there was a woman she raised her hand we were talking about this exact issue and she started crying and she said my father when i was a kid told me i would be nothing wow all right so sad yeah it's horrible and and this is what people need to understand words matter to children and so the woman said you know i my whole life i've spent trying to be something wow you know she said i became a nurse i got a phd you know she's a senior executive and at a hospital chain right she's doing extraordinarily well and her whole life has been trying to overcome that baggage and imagine the difference though if her father said you know you are amazing you can do anything you want i am so proud of you i envision you doing incredible things and how the 30 years of her life or whatever it's been 40 years would have been one of love and and feeling worthy versus every day waking up being repeating i was told i would
Speaker 1be nothing wow yeah i guess there's a there's a question within that is if you are given all the love and empowering affirmations and words from your parents that you can do and be what you want to be versus you don't have what it takes you're never going to amount to anything you disappoint me you need to do better which one drives the person to create bigger or better results or impact you know because she has lived a life of impact but it's from a place of lack right sure would she be as driven to grow and expand and reach beyond what she felt she was capable of if she had all the love in the world i guess that's the question
Speaker 2well uh of course in that case we can't specifically answer that but uh yeah there's no question that you know i used to have a coach when i was a rower crew okay and i used to have a coach who just scream at me all day that's the worst yeah it's the worst well and it's exactly what we're yeah that's exactly what we're talking did that make you strive and work harder it just made you feel like the guy's a jerk i hate the guy i'll do what i have yes yes and and versus then i had a different coach the new coach was an extraordinary human being one you would model yourself after he won the gold medal in the double skulls in melbourne in 52 i think it was and uh you know he was like listen you know you need to work on this but i know when you do this it's you're going to excel here you know you're doing an amazing job i can just tell you're really into this i'm so proud of you
Speaker 1right it's more
Speaker 2fun too yeah of course so can you get a similar result yeah but it's like uh uh you know somebody putting a backpack to keep stabbing you in the back your whole life saying get going get going versus somebody who's hugging you and embracing you and tell you how much they love you yes uh you can do incredible results from horribly mean people but that's not a long-term
Speaker 1strategy yeah and it's not a healthy life no you know there's probably a lot of stress and anxiety and chronic pain that you're carrying with that energy with that vibration which you talk about in the book the vibration and when we can get in to flow state we're able to to really create more abundance and and in a harmonious way not in a hard way of grinding constantly to accomplish and then feel exhausted when we get
Speaker 2to the top yeah and so then you know instead of having accomplished and going that son of a i showed you you're sitting there god i i'm happy to have god it felt so good and i i'm just so happy i was able to do this it's a completely different way and i i would hope that people would do it in a different way and i i would hope that people would do it in a different way the other way where it's one of positivity and encouragement not somebody driving you and this is one of the problems in corporate america right you have uh bosses who think that creating fear motivates and it does on some level to a point you know there's a great story about a fellow what was his name karnes i can't remember uh i think it was jeffrey karnes he was in australia but he uh gives an example which is quite interesting he said we did a 360 review in our company i'm sure you're familiar with that right they checked out everybody he said you know they came to me to share the results with me he's telling us why because he's they came to share the results with me they told me in their entire history of doing this i was the worst ceo wow they had ever met wow and he said my you know they told me my employees fear me and uh that i i was created and environment that was unhealthy blah blah blah blah blah and he says this to his so he said to see his wife and she go uh he says to her so so what do you think of that can you believe that i'm thinking of firing them and she goes why would you do that they're absolutely correct and he goes what and she said i have been telling you this for 20 years and you have not listened to me wow said you need to sit back and reflect on this so he went through a two-year analysis with their therapy and actually ended up meeting a buddhist monk and got into a meditation practice so they did a re-evaluation a few years later and now you know they had like one of the highest retention rates one of the highest productivity rates one of the highest shareholder value from uh leading through compassion thoughtfulness kindness as a motivator versus fear as a motivator wow that's
Speaker 1beautiful One of the things, you know, you give this six-step process. process and one of the things in step six it's about releasing these expectations and being open to magic being open to the wonders the mysteries of the world when things will come to you maybe it's different than what you originally wanted all these different things why is it important to manifest by not being attached to the results that you desire and being open to magic at the same time you know one
Speaker 2of the challenges is that and it gets back to attachment uh because once you are attached to something you have a vision of how it has to be right and then that creates uh potential disappointment and the nature of manifesting is it doesn't turn out exactly the way you want because what you may not appreciate is that there are other factors which are competing here mm-hmm and sometimes you may not appreciate it but on an unconscious level the right decision is being made on a conscious level it's not what you thought it was and therefore you resist it uh and uh that creates unhappiness yes the other thing is the same as having a timeline like it has to happen by this day it doesn't work that way as an example i have been planning a world compassion festival which is a huge event right for 13 years do i am i disappointed no it hasn't happened yet it hasn't happened yet but it will happen yes and this is also uh dispositional optimism i have an absolute belief that that will happen and in fact i mentioned a little earlier i was with uh kalash uh uh santi yarthi who's a nobel peace laureate uh yesterday and i was with uh kalash uh santi yarthi and uh um we were talking about this world compassion festival just came up he said well why don't we join forces and make this happen that's cool right so you know it's a process and it it has not worked in any way the timeline i had imagined but i do not i'm not disappointed or don't believe it's going to happen otherwise i was to think i'm a failure you know this should have happened 10 years ago why didn't it happen you know it's just like everything else i do i i'm a loser right versus saying it will happen it's sitting there the things have not all come together to allow it to happen and even if it doesn't happen the exact way i envision it if it happens it's an extraordinary thing and so i think you have to look at it that way otherwise you're creating uh unhappiness for yourself of course and and why do that and and again life doesn't work that way it's like as an example sitting there saying i'm i want to manifest this beautiful woman she has these attributes da da da then this exact and your visualize her as a blonde and then this dark-haired woman comes into us every one of those things go oh get out of here you're not a blonde yeah yeah right yeah so it doesn't work
Speaker 1the way you want what would you say is uh you know something that we should think about or do first thing in the rhythm of manifesting is there a mantra is there a process is there a way of thinking a way of feeling a way of acting is there a something we should believe right when we wake up or in the
Speaker 2morning well uh what i do may not work for everybody sure and everybody has a different biology they have a different way of seeing the world now i'll tell you what i do to center me in the morning and uh but it sets the stage to manifest and what i mean by that is i was talking about having the mental state of being of service to others right so my practice every morning is i wake up and i say every morning that's a lie it is not every morning it's most morning sure you know it's funny i don't know if you ever saw you know deepak chopra's son did a movie about him uh and gotham yeah i know yeah and it showed him like you know that should be meditating goes and he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and i know deepak actually uh but anyway uh what i do is i sit up in bed and i do a breathing exercise because as you know that will shift you over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system which is the rest and digest mode it makes you open it makes you thoughtful it makes you more creative and then i think of the awe and joy in this world and there's a great book about all by dacre keltner i don't know if you know yeah uh but uh uh yeah so you know that sets the stage of this seeing the world through this lens of this incredible awe being in this world and the joy of being able to interact in this world and then i go through a 10-letter mantra and this actually uh developed when i was asked to uh which was an incredible honor to me by my medical school to give the white coat ceremony lecture to the incoming medical students so imagine the guy who should never right giving this very prestigious lecture wow but what i wanted to do was i wanted to inspire these students through something that was simple and easy to remember but would center them in their lives going forward and i think that's what i wanted to do and i think that's what i wanted to not only as a doctor but as a human being so it was 10 letters of the alphabet it was c compassion for self and others d recognizing the dignity of every person e practicing equanimity and this is this idea of evenness of temperament you know we were talking about chasing goals and having attachment you know it's great to achieve a goal it's great to have that high that you get when you achieve it it's it's wonderful it's amazing and it's amazing but it's transitory sure and you can't live at that state all the time conversely having disappointments having things fail uh losing at things uh as horrible and as painful as they are they're also transitory so having this evenness and temperament and not getting lost on the extremes is very very important plus the other thing is if you reflect on it what teaches you the most is that you're not going to be the same person you're not going to be the same person it's not the highs it's the disappointments the challenges the things you've had to overcome and that makes you who you are yes and creates resilience and so somehow thinking you're going to avoid those number one it's not healthy but that's where so much teaching comes from the other of course is forgiveness and we know that when you carry emotions attached to an event or to a person every time you think of that event or that person it negatively affects you interesting so when you're able to not carry that baggage and release it and that's not to forget what somebody did to you or that it's just to understand that carrying those memories is not healthy for you then you're released again and of course one of the most powerful things and i think it's really important is having gratitude and there's an immense amount of research that demonstrates having a gratitude journal or in the evening writing three things that you are thankful for because what people forget is in fact probably everyone listening to this podcast you don't appreciate that half of the world's population lives on less than two dollars and fifty cents a day crazy isn't it it's horrible and when you look at your life uh you are actually blessed it's funny as a neurosurgeon you know i've had situations where let's say somebody will uh have an accident become paraplegic and of course they this is horrible my life is ruined i say look i'm going to take you in the room next door with the guy who's a ventilator dependent quadriplegic can't move anything yes and is on a breathing tube and nothing and then they say oh right so it's about perspective it's about perspective and this is the thing is you have the choice of the perspective you look at the world yes um let's see we were at gratitude age humility now i will assure you for a neurosurgeon humility is one of the challenges
Speaker 1you gotta stay humble when you think you got you know exactly well you know
Speaker 2being a neurosurgeon is still one of the uh professions in medicine that's still nominally highly respected but anyway uh it's humility understanding you're no more important than anyone else and uh uh i is integrity and values that bound your behavior if you want to call them rules to live by j is a recognition of justice meaning that we have a responsibility for caring for those who are vulnerable uh k is uh simply being kind to others it has nothing to do with suffering compassion has by definition a recognition of suffering with that motivational desire to alleviate that so kindness is simply just being a good person and of course what contains all of this and that's uh love that's true So that was part of my lecture for the white coat ceremony. That's beautiful. And that's what I use every day of my own life. Now, I'll tell you an interesting story about that. I gave that lecture, and a month or two later, and I think it was put on YouTube or something, but a month or two later, a woman reached out to me, and she said, I heard that lecture, I read your book, which I talk about it in my first book, Into the Magic Shop. And she said, I'm the spiritual director of the largest homeless shelter in the United States. I'm a person of faith. My friends had sent me all of the scripture, but I was burned out at my job, and I couldn't do it anymore, and I had to resign. She said, I read your book, I heard that talk, and it gave me the strength to return to work, which I'm like, oh, my God, that's beautiful. So then, a month later, she sends me another email, and she says, you know, I have to tell you this story. I was telling my best friend about this, and she has a daughter named Ginny. And Ginny is 12, and she makes beads. And Ginny made a set of 10 wooden beads that each one represents one of those letters of the alphabet. And she added a golden bead to represent the golden rule. Would you mind if we sold these to support the homeless shelter, and we have a peace center there? And I said, absolutely. A few months later, she sends me another. She's like this stalker. She sends me another, and she says, you know, this has been so powerful. I went ahead, and I created a YouTube video. Can I post it? And it shows this little girl making these beads with beautiful music, and she's talking about this practice. And she then posted that. And long story short, her and I became friends. I ended up going down to the homeless shelter, and touring it, and giving a talk in the church, or a sermon, I'll leave it to you, I'm not particularly religious. And then, she has two heroes in this world. One is the Dalai Lama, and the other is Desmond Tutu, when he was alive. And so, as I think you know, I used to be chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation. He's the founding benefactor of the center I run at Stanford. I said, listen, I'm hosting the Dalai Lama. I'm hosting the Dalai Lama. I want to invite you to come, and I want to introduce you to it. Wow. And she's going, oh my God, that's incredible. She says, but you know, unfortunately, I make very little money, and I can't really afford it. I said, well, listen, I'm going to hire you as a consultant, and bring a bunch of beads with you. And I did do that, and we had these beads blessed by his holiness. Wow. And she got to meet her hero. So, fast forward a few years later, I was friends with Tutu. So, I was there. He was down in Cape Town at his 80th birthday party. So, during his 85th, they invited me to come down again to his birthday. And I was in Oslo, and I called. I said, listen, you need to do me a favor. I said, I want you to go to Cape Town in my place. Wow. Wow. And meet Tutu. And while, on the one hand, obviously, it costs something to do that, in the big scope of my world, that was irrelevant. My, right. But for her, it was the world. Exactly. Wow. And you see, that epitomizes what every one of us can do. To simply do a simple act, and it can be saying hello. It can be holding a door open. It can be sitting with somebody. It can be buying a homeless person a meal. And the thing is, the benefit you get from this, is so, so powerful. You know, His Holiness says, if you want to make others happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate.
Speaker 1Wow. If you want to make others happy, be compassionate.
Speaker 2Yeah. Because we know when you are care, when you're compassionate, it has a very positive effect on your physiology. Because you get shifted over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. Your cardiac function's improved. Your peripheral vascular function's improved. The expression of inflammatory proteins is diminished. Your immune system's boosted. Your cortisol levels are decreased. And so there's a whole cascade of events. And plus, when you're kind and compassionate, your reward and pleasure centers are stimulated. Wow. You know, who wouldn't want to be that way? And that's what, you know, people forget sometimes.
Speaker 1Wow. And most people forget to be compassionate towards themselves the most. Well, and that's the key of what we're talking about. Absolutely. Mind Magic, the Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. This is extremely powerful. I want everyone to get a copy of this book. Get one for a friend as well. I've got a couple final questions for you, James, before we wrap up. But before I ask them, where can we send people to? Do you have a website we should send people to? Or just go on Amazon and get the book?
Speaker 2I think there are many places besides Amazon. Sure, sure. You can get books. Certainly, I'm a proponent of supporting independent bookstores. But it is on Amazon. You can also publish or purchase it from Penguin Random House, if you use my name and the book title. But it's pretty much anywhere books can be sold.
Speaker 1And do you have a website as well where we can stay in touch with you or connect?
Speaker 2Yeah, it's jamesrdodymd.com. And all of my work is there. The other book I mentioned briefly, was Into the Magic Shop, which was a New York Times bestseller. It's in 36 languages. Also, the center I run at Stanford is there. And certainly people can go there. And we offer courses on self-compassion and compassion. That's beautiful. As well as even corporate programs and programs for first responders, police officers, and things like that. That's very cool. And that's at ccare.stanford.edu. Okay. And actually, another project, that I'm actually very excited about, is for the last couple of years, I've been working on creating a mental health app. And because so many people are suffering from stress, anxiety, and lack of self-compassion. And the interesting thing about it is, because especially adolescents, so many are suffering, that there are not even enough therapists to take care of all those people. But the reality is, most people are suffering from just living in the moment, in the modern world. It's not, you know, drug-resistant depression. It's just the stress and anxiety of living in the modern world. Because as we're talking about with the Blue Zones, we're far different in the modern world. So what it does is it utilizes an emotion assessment engine to analyze facial expression, voice analysis, and context of speech, connected to a conversational AI knowledge base of compassion-focused therapy and psychology, which is then, it's then hooked up to a human avatar who talks to you. Wow, that's cool. And what we know is that having brief conversations, like 10 minutes, when somebody is feeling stressed and anxious, the very nature of a conversation can significantly decrease those feelings. Wow. And what's interesting is, so many people are afraid of being judged. Because shamed, yes. So being able to talk actually to an avatar, who is compassionate, empathetic, non-judgmental, accepting, is very powerful. Now, this isn't to separate you from people. What it is is to support you so that you can go forward and actually have better connections. And it's available 24/7, unlike your therapist, which, as you know, I should say, I don't know, maybe you don't have a therapist, but most people have a therapist. Sure. But, you know, you call after 5 o'clock and they go, if this is a life therapy, then-- Or if it's a heart, say, please call 911. Well, if you're stressed and anxious, that's really not the thing you want to hear. But anyway, that company is called Happy, H-A-P-P-I dot A-I.
Speaker 1And I'm very excited about that. That's cool. When's that coming out?
Speaker 2Actually, people can sign up now for free. We're letting people use it just to get input from them. And certainly, if people try it, please drop me a note, because we're trying to, of course, improve it. But it's pretty amazing, the type of conversation you can have. Even, I mean, I've been like, wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 1That's cool. That's cool. Happy, H-A-P-P-I dot A-I. Check that out as well. Couple of final questions for you, James. One of them is called the three truths question. It's a hypothetical scenario. Imagine you get to live as long as you want. And you get to keep creating and manifesting and serving humanity the way you want to do it. And everything that you desire, you manifest until the day you die. But for whatever reason, on the last day in this world, you have to take all of your work with you. This book, we don't have access to. This conversation is no longer around. Everything you've created, it's, for whatever reason, gone somewhere else. We don't have access. It's a hypothetical scenario question. But if it was the last day many years away, and you could only leave behind three lessons to the world, and this is all we have of your information, your content, what would those three truths be for you? That you would share?
Speaker 2Believe in yourself. Care for yourself. others, be kind to yourself.
Speaker 1Before I ask the final question, James, I want to acknowledge you for the consistent contribution you make on the world. I think this topic is extremely interesting for so many people because a lot of people are suffering and they want to have a better life, but they don't know how to create the life. So bringing neuroscience research and your own practical lessons into this work, sharing it here for people for free, creating it in a book people can follow the program and everything else you're sharing with the world. I just really acknowledge you for the contribution you are making currently on humanity. And I'm grateful for the wisdom and the lessons that you share. So I wanted to share that with you. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. That's very kind. Yeah, you're welcome. And my final question for you, James, is what is your definition of greatness?
Speaker 2Being authentic. Being authentic, understanding yourself
Speaker 1and caring for others. The online magic. Thank you, James. Appreciate it. My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode right now because we are on a mission to impact a hundred million lives every single week. And every follow here on this podcast helps us reach more people. Make sure to hit the follow at the top of this show's page right now. It's the single biggest thing that you can do to support the show and the impact of us reaching you every single time we have new episodes. I appreciate you and I can't wait to see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend and a family. And if you're interested in a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. ♪ Don't, don't, don't ♪
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