The Networking Playbook Every Woman Needs to Get Rich

If you are just a girl that wants to be her hottest, smartest, richest self, I am going to break down everything so that anybody can understand how to make themselves the best version of themselves this summer. I am about to share the secrets of how I've elevated my life, how I've been able to build a multi-million-dollar business, trends in pop culture, networking, dressing well, you name it, we are talking about it, so let's get into it. In case you missed it, you're allowed to be hot, smart, and rich, so let's get into it. Hi, angels, welcome back to a solo episode. I can't remember if I have not done a solo since the very first episode of Hot Smart Rich, but I really pushed the team to do this episode because it has been absolutely incredible to bring so many people along the journey of growing Hot Smart Rich, but at its essence, this was a place that was really for me to share my thoughts, my opinions, of course learn from these incredible guests that we've had on, but if we don't hear from you that this brought value, that this is something that you want more of, it's going to be harder for me to advocate as a business that this will come back as a format. So if you like this, please, if I can ask you one thing, if you love something, don't forget to tell people that you do because you never know when it's going to go away, and I genuinely need something from your support because it is free, it helps me be able to have conversations like this, and it is leaving a comment, it is writing an email, it is something that shows my team that these conversations are worthwhile, that deserve the slot on our release schedule, because otherwise it is going to be hard for me to show proof that this is worth coming back for. This is going to be a true micro learning episode. We're going to have a ton of fun. You know I have a little ADHD, so we might bounce around a little bit, but I promise you, if you listen to this episode in full, you will become hotter, smarter, and richer. That is a promise, so let's get into it. I decided that after can, and just seeing the energy of being in person with people, that we were going to iterate the saying, how to make friends and influence people, and call it, how to play the game, and not be aware now. Yes, you heard me. We are officially six years out from COVID, and we are back in real life. Like this is one of the biggest trends that I heard from Cannes, is that people want to be back in real life. It made me laugh when I was flying on my way home from Cannes, Steven and I were texting nonstop, and it was legitimately about Cannes 2027, and like all of the first principles that we wanted for how our in real life event would show up, and this year was a huge hypothesis of just going, seeing what it was, and then how do we show up next year and be back and be better. And so for us to already be thinking about 2027 Cannes, which is 365 days away, to me is just the sign that like this is the future. So I thought I would do a little refresher, okay? On how I like to meet people for the first time, because if I really think about my superpower, it has never been being the smartest person in the room. It has been being able to connect with people, read their energy, offer value to people, and therefore have people throughout my career that I can call on when I actually do need their expertise. So I actually do feel like there's a way to do business with each other. So in real life is back, and this is how I play the game, okay? First things first, I have a warm welcoming smile. I don't act too cool. I don't act like I'm better. I am so excited to be in that moment, and I think that that goes back to practicing gratitude, and knowing that like being in these rooms is everything that I have dreamt of five years ago, and I'm already in my dream life. So entering into the room with warm charismatic energy, ready to meet people, even if you're not as bubbly as me, which not every single person listening to this will be, still having that warm smile invites people in and gives them a friendly face to immediately connect to. Number two, eyes up. I actually don't wear glasses. These were for aesthetics, which we're actually going to get into later in the episode. But having no sunglasses on, not looking at my phone, making sure that I'm able to make eye contact with people is huge, because people are all searching for something interesting to capture their attention. Number three, this one can be a little weird, but especially if you feel uncomfortable. But going up to people and introducing yourself is the key. The people that thrive in this world and don't just survive, they are the people that make opportunities happen for them. They are not waiting for things to happen. My absolute favorite is to be a super connector. So a super connector is someone when you actually have a little bit more lay of the land, and maybe you're talking to someone, but you see someone that you know, and you are able to make an introduction between those two people. Then you kind of remove yourself from this situation, and that person really only thinks about you as someone that's offering value to them. And there is actual science to this, but I like to call this the party girl. If you have thrown a party, you know that there is nothing better than that electric energy in the room where you can actually take yourself out and watch the party happen. And you can observe that energy. And this is why I think we're seeing this transfer of these party girls actually be these exceptional business women. Hence why I always laugh and think not the smartest person in the room, but I'm in these rooms. I'm there for a reason. And it's because I am a super connector. So there is science, and it is called the Ben Franklin effect. Of course it is. It's named after a man, but we're about to change that and get a girl to come in and create a new, a new experiment about this. The Ben Franklin effect is the idea that people may like someone more after they do that person a favor, especially if it's small and voluntary, which for me is amazing because think about compounding interest, right? Like you have to do all these little small things and then it adds up to this huge growth. Whereas sometimes when people think of doing these grand gestures, you might think like you can only do one a week. But if these are small voluntary acts, you can do this for every single person that you meet at an event. And this is driven by cognitive dissonance. It is when your brain realizes your helpful action by concluding that you must care for the recipient. Self perception. People then infer their own feelings of that behavior thinking, if I helped that person, I probably feel positively towards them and they therefore feel positively towards me. So think about the Ben Franklin effect. You do these small voluntary acts for people. Your brain literally tricks you into thinking that those people think positively towards you. So you're only helping yourself while you're helping these other people. Kind of insane that we don't talk about this more. There was a really interesting story that happened to me at Cannes that I think is worth sharing, obviously, confidentially without names. But there was a creator that I got a message from back in December. And it was something along the lines of you helped inspire me to start creating content. I absolutely love your podcast. I'm so happy to be a part of your community. And I hadn't heard of this creator. My team ends up telling me that they're going to be at Cannes. I get so excited. I follow them back. I message them. I absolutely love their content. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to meet you. And it was the weirdest experience meeting in person because it was almost like they acted as if they didn't know who I was. That experience has stayed with me as one of my key takeaways from Cannes. And maybe not in a good way, right? But it's worth talking about because I don't know what was going on with that creator. Maybe there was a lot of social anxiety or maybe there was just a flirt of busyness. And I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt to it. But when you have the opportunity to make a good impression on people and to be a fan and to offer a smile and to offer value, those are the small things that really do compound to get you the best result long term. Because if that person had acted differently from me and then in six months or any year needed something from me and had reached out to me, I likely would be in a different head space and not be going into this A to Sar toxic thought over thinking these things and might be more willing to stick my neck out for someone that had had a really positive voluntary small gesture act, the Ben Franklin effect of kindness in our first interaction. I had another really funny awkward situation that happens to me, which brings me to point number two of being an amazing networker and owning the room. I think I overused to look this if I was honest when I was in my twenties and really focused on building my career was how important style and dressing well really could impact the success that you would have at work. And I weirdly was thinking a lot about this as I was getting dressed for this episode because I legitimately have not worn jeans since my surgery. I feel like I'm still coming back into my body and just starting to feel like myself again and it made me really just sit with myself in my changing room and think about the mind body connection that we have to how we feel and how we act when we feel look our best. And in Cannes, that was near impossible, okay? We are talking a hundred degree weather. It was the hottest that France had ever been, I think, in over a century. Sadly, there was a lot of repercussions from that. And I had a very, let's just say, um, potentially traumatic experience as a female in business that I think a lot of people can relate to. I was hosting an event and I was wearing a shirt that was chic. And I had to wear a sticky bra with it so that my breasts would stay into place. And because it was so hot, I was starting to sweat off not only my makeup, but also the undergarment, the sticky bra that was keeping my breasts in place. And I made the decision before I went up and spoke in front of these incredible 50 women that were there to take off my sticky bra because it was so damn hot outside. I left on such a high. And when I got in the car and I started looking at all of the footage from the event, I immediately broke down into tears because all I could see was an image of a woman who had her breasts exposed in a way that didn't give off the aesthetic that I believe is important for women in business. And especially with a name like Hot Smart Rich, having the right perception of me show up in the world is extremely important. And I just couldn't let it go to the point where I had to get my team involved. I said this type of content can't really go out on a longer format. We need to cut all of the YouTube from our partner. We can't put out these short clips. And I was mortified. That feeling of being so embarrassed, I just wanted to crawl inside of a hole and just cry. Because all I could think about was what are other people's perceptions of me? How could I do that to my partner? How could I have not thought that through better? I am so lucky to have the most incredible team in the world and the most incredible partners that immediately were like Maggie. This is not a problem. We will refill them everything. They moved their entire day. I was able to dress into something. I was much more comfortable with go back, reshoot everything and moral the story everything was okay. But it really stuck out to me as something that women need to talk about more. So I don't know if you have heard about this, but there is a phenomenon called wardrobe rage. Wardrobe rage is like road rage, but it happens when you have an irrational tantrum about what you are wearing. And the fear of not feeling and looking as good because you don't like how you look. Women spend about 17 minutes a day on average putting a look together just to get themselves out the door. In turn, this turns into 119 days in your career that is spent just on what you look like. So if you haven't heard of wardrobe rage, women unfortunately deal with wardrobe rage more than men do because we have so many more decisions that we're making in a day. The mental energy women spend on appearance-related logistics, so what to wear, whether it will hold up, whether it's appropriate. This is a genuine tax on mental resources that men mostly do not pay. Everybody always asks me how do you do everything in a day? And it is because I have offloaded a lot of really key decisions that I no longer need to make. And I have trusted people on my team that are able to do that. So the obvious being social media, AI optimization and experimentation leads my amazing producers. And I'm not a fashion girl. Like I wish that I loved to bed-raud at night at 10 p.m. and pick out outfits and pieces to put looks together. And that is just not me. And so what my skill set is is finding things people brand businesses early. I've done it with everyone that's on my glam team before they popped off. I've done it with the art that I've invested into. I've done it with the businesses that I've invested into. And so it was no different finding my stylist Olivia Sondra. I said to my sister, I am not having wardrobe rage any longer. I am not going to let what I look like or don't look like impact the success that I will have at my job. And I promise you Katie that if we spend this money on Olivia, I will outperform for our business. And that is exactly what has happened. Creator investors are the future. That is what everybody was talking about at Cannes. I thought what I would touch on today in this episode is why I believe this is happening. Creators are being completely underserved by their teams right now. Okay, so usually they have a manager. They maybe have an agent. Maybe if they're a top 1% creator, they even have a business manager. And I have actually built in this system in almost every single way as a manager. When I was even on a management team in music, I obviously worked a lot with the business managers. I'm a creator myself. And I've seen the infrastructure layers that these creator teams have. And none of them are equipped to support early stage private market investing. What I would say creators are the most interested in is the earliest stage companies where they can have a more prominent role in a company in a more forward facing way and build their resume by being an investor versus just getting a pay deal or a large six figure seven figure check from a brand. But what they don't have is the diligence to be able to understand where they should necessarily be placing those bets, both from a cash perspective and even from a sweat equity perspective. So to break those two down, there are two ways that creators really join these early stage startups as an investor. And one of them is actually by investing capital into the brand into a financing round where they are going to be raising let's say a few million dollars, giving a percentage of equity, a percentage of ownership in their company to bring other investors in. A lot of those companies are targeting creators as traditional investors. The second way that creators are getting onto these cap tables is by these very crafty titles and it can be something as simple as an advisor. It can be a chief creative officer. This is not new, but it is accelerating at a speed that we have not seen until right now. And there is no typical exchange of cash. The exchange is for the creator to exchange deliverables. So that could be a number of posts. That could be event appearances. That could be using their name in a press release. And instead of exchanging cash, the exchange equity, so ownership in a brand for that creator to do a certain set of deliverables. The current infrastructure layer teams that advise these creators typically don't have the expertise unless they've hired for this to understand where it is worth putting those bets in. And I think that women are even better positioned to be experts at this because women control 85% of consumer spend. So if you are a female creator and you have access to things like shopmy or like to know it or a Shopify account and you are able to actually see the purchasing behavior of your fans of your audience of your community, you have first party data that no investor will ever be able to access without having some sort of partnership with a creator like yourself. So you already are stacking the deck in such a way where it is not just about having capital, but it is having a vantage point of actually knowing where the puck is going. And so as a creator, specifically a woman and these women that have built these multimillion dollar brands of themselves off of knowing their communities and their audiences, they are at a vantage point of being able to be exceptional investors because they have that first party data layer that most VCs would dream of. And so now the puck has swung in a totally the pendulum has swung in a totally different way where not only can you get capital, but you can also get distribution from these creators. They have a vested long term interest in the brand that is being built. It's not about an exchange of one post for a certain amount of money. This is a mutually beneficial arrangement for both parties to successfully win. We've obviously started to see this happen, but it is accelerating at a rate that I just don't think anybody is ready for. And I think the watch outs and why we'll do a whole separate episode on this is you are about to see the market flooded by creator investors announcing that they are investors in these brands, advisors in these brands. And the ones that will be successful are the ones that ultimately have exits. Okay. And that is the only time that you will be able to get liquidity out liquidity, meaning the cash from a successful sale of that company. So there's a lot of this story that is still yet to be told, but I'm excited to be on the forefront of being able to really share with you guys what I'm seeing from all the different sides of this as an investor, as a creator, as someone that's helped a lot of these brands build these infrastructures and systems. So stay tuned. If you haven't listened to to my episode all about the basics of angel investing. It was one of the first ones that we did. We will link it below. Please go back and watch that no matter if you're a creator, you're a brand, or you're interested in getting into this yourself. I can literally talk to a dead moose, and that is what I'm picturing on the screen right here. And with that, I have a very exciting announcement to make, okay? When you start a company and you bring people on it, you bring an advantage, you bring these people, it's the most amazing thing. What it also does is it makes you really focus on the things that you need to focus on, which is a blessing. So one of the things that was not a priority up until now was the vlogs. And I have been feeling a missing part of the HSR brand by not being able to show you really the behind the scenes of everything that I am doing because even in this episode, right, like getting to talk to you about all the things that I've gone through. It's made me realize that I have not been able to share with you the personal side of my life in a way that I want to. And so we have finally been able to figure out separating the Hotsmart Rich YouTube channel from the Maggie Sellers Ream YouTube channel. And vlogs are officially coming back. And this is going to be the most raw, realist form of my life as I'm building this business, trying to keep it together, trying to be a good wife, recovering from endometriosis surgery, my update on my NFTBA. If y'all remember that, travel hacks, working behind the scenes with my team, how I lead, how I'm investing, public speaking practice, and going into travel because I am officially going on tour, okay? We are no longer just going to be recording in Los Angeles because Hotsmart Rich is building the biggest ambition brand of the decade for females. And it's not only being built in LA. So we are going on tour to London and there is no chance that I was doing that and not bringing you with me. I really wanted to talk about the importance of traveling this summer because I'm a funny little bird, okay? I find it a total roller coaster to be in my head and my heart and my body and my mind because some days I'm here and other days I'm here. And when I consolidate trends, I usually end the best version of myself when I'm actually out of my house to a certain extent. And I think it's because getting out of my routine, getting out of an environment, leaving the role that you have at your home, leaving your desk, leaving your responsibilities, cannot be underplayed. It came so full circle to me as I'm building this personal media brand when my husband really wanted to take a trip to South Korea last year. And I wasn't used to traveling and working on the road. I felt like I was gonna be so out of my routine. I felt like I was gonna be putting my business and my career and my financial freedom on hold to be with my husband in South Korea. And I had such an adversion to going. And what ended up happening was I got a first hand look at Korean beauty and was able to come back and share everything that I had learned with you guys. And was on the pulse and on the trend of being able to share what all of Young was, my predictions for how Sephora and Alta were going to be able to rival a huge player like all of you have coming in. I was able to give my predictions. I was able to really be on the forefront of culture, which is I think part of the reason you follow me. And so it was so interesting to reflect on that experience of not actually even wanting to go. And then ultimately being out of my routine, being out of my environment, and being the wealth of knowledge to come back and to be able to bring you as my plus one into that, that it's a reminder to yourself if you're listening that getting out of your routine this summer is critical to taking 10 steps forward. It might feel like a step back, but it is actually 10 steps forward. Now, there are 37% of Americans that will not travel this summer for a variety of reasons. Some because they want to pay down debt, they want to stay at home, they maybe just went through a huge life moment, they want to save money. So I decided to come up with my favorite ways to switch up a routine. I got really creative on ways that you could get out of your head, your routine, your responsibilities, and still get the same effect of traveling, but here at home. Number one, I am my best self when I work from a coffee shop or transitional space. Being able to be in a new environment, being able to order an expensive drink, being able to see and people watch and just feel inspired by not having the same routine day after day. This one's interesting, but I swear we've had HSR Angels swap houses before. So if you're looking to get out of your routine, like why not, if you live in Boston and your friend lives in New York, like swap on the train and stay at your friend's house but you're not together. I think doing a house swap would be a really interesting way just to get your brain into a new environment. I think the other thing that I used to do when I was little that I didn't realize why I did it, but now I do is I would always rearrange my bedroom. So I would have my bed on one side of the wall and my mom would hear me clanking it and moving over to the other side of the bedroom. And that is because refreshing your physical environment, like maybe moving your desk to a different location, staring at a different window, just like some sort of movement in your physical space, don't underplay how important that can be because of neuroplasticity. So I actually heard about this on a diary of a CEO episode and it was the fact that neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change, adapt, and build new connections through learning and new experiences. So you are obviously not increasing your neuroplasticity if you are sitting in the same spot doing the same thing, doing the same routine every single day. And it hit me when this person said something so simple, like if you do the same loop of a walk every single day, go the opposite way. And that alone will increase your neuroplasticity. Such a small change, but when I started doing that and I didn't do the same routine every single morning, I actually felt like a different version of myself and it's because increasing your neuroplasticity actually takes you out of autopilot. It takes you out of being able to do these tasks and actually makes your brain pay closer attention, creating new connections and ultimately boosting your creativity, which we all need to do, okay? So if I haven't convinced you to bite the bullet, invest in a trip, go and take yourself away. Try some of the things that I would do to increase my neuroplasticity if I was gonna be home. Okay, my literal nephew just popped on the Zoom. Do you see Tauntie working, Warren? - Oh. - Okay, well do you wanna see Tauntie answer some questions from the community of HSR Angels? Yeah, all right, so because my little nephew wants me to do this, we're doing it. Okay, this is probably my favorite part of building this brand is really getting to see everything that is on your minds and that I have been so blessed to have somehow been the person that you trust enough to come to help you solve this. So I wanna do a little caveat. I'm not answering this as a guru. I'm answering this as what I would do. And through my lived experiences, what I would actually tactically do if it was me asking this question, okay? So we're gonna start with the first one. Someone asked, how do I start a business when I'm not sure what yet? I don't see this advice enough on the internet, but do not start a business if you're not sure what. And that might seem counterintuitive because there's so many amazing reasons to start a business, but building a business is truthfully one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Like I had a mental bead this morning, okay? And I had to pull myself together and there's so many moments where I'm just like, it would be so much easier to not have to do this. And what pulls me is having a why and having a mission. And when I'm thinking about even when I'm investing or I'm thinking about brands that I wanna incubate, it is truly to solve a problem. And if you do not have a problem that not only you, but people in your life have, finding that why to push you through those hard times is going to be so incredibly hard. So I'm not saying break up with the idea of wanting to start a business or be an entrepreneur. Of course, keep that. I always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I didn't take the step off of the golden handcuffs, the hamster wheel, until one I was forced to, 'cause I had a fallen out with my boss, and two, when I actually found purpose in something that I was doing. So my advice, don't not be entrepreneurial, but you don't need to be an entrepreneur until one, you have to, or two, you have a problem that you're really solving and you have a why, okay? Someone asked, I'm dating someone older than me, and I'm not sure it's working. Do you think there are more pros or cons to age gaps in relationships? I was so excited to answer this question, you guys. Again, I am answering this question from my personal expertise. and I swear every single answer that I have is going to be controversial because that's who I am. I fundamentally believe that age gap relationships set you up for success. This is from my personal experience, so don't come at me. But if my husband and I were both jockeying right now to be the it entrepreneur and to be putting every single thing that we had into our business, I could see how it could be really hard to develop a very intimate and very romantic relationship outside of being in my masculine. And because my husband is focused on his eulogy virtues and not necessarily his resume virtues, it allows me to be a little bit more selfish right now and focus more on both resume and eulogy virtues in a way that I don't feel like I found with people when I was dating them and they were my age. I fundamentally believe that opposites do attract in a relationship in certain ways. And for me, I always thought that that was I needed to date someone who wasn't as ambitious as me, who doesn't like to be the life of the party like I do, who's maybe not as talkative as I am, who's not as creative. So I went after the opposite person from me that I felt could support me in that entrepreneurial and ambitious pursuit. And what I realized about opposites attract is my version of that was someone who shared all of that ambition, who shared all of that entrepreneurial spirit, but was just at a different place in their career because I do think that for me there is that ability to be a bit more feminine in my personal life and be a little bit more childlike and not feel the way I did in previous relationships when I dated people my age that were at the same exact trajectory with me, where it did feel dare I say somewhat competitive. So for me, all I can say is that dating someone that we do have an age gap in, one, I never think about it. And two, it's allowed me to really have someone that I respect, I value their experience, I feel like I have a true thought partner and it's not in a competitive way. There's a many reasons that age gap relationships don't work, but I also think that there's a lot of beautiful things that I've been able to get with my age gap relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm gonna end this episode with this question because this hit me like a ton of bricks when I read it. Someone asked, how do you keep believing in the woman you're becoming, even when you see little proof in the present moment? When I first started Hot Smart Rich, I was at the lowest point in my life. I felt so lost, so confused, so unsure, I had left stability, I had left a paycheck, I had left a visa to stay in the States, I had left all knowns. I was living away from my family, I was with someone who did make my life feel very unstable and I remember filming a TikTok in my bathroom and thinking like, I have so much potential, I have so much lived experience, I feel so lost, what am I gonna do with this? And I made a TikTok that was about becoming the hottest, smartest, richest version of myself. And I was none of those things when I started Hot Smart Rich. You guys that have followed me from the beginning have seen the evolution of that and all that I could hold onto was my potential. Because yes, I had points on the board, but when I started this, it was to take you guys on the journey and it wasn't from a place of having a billion dollar exit or being a successful exited founder and who was I to call myself an angel investor? But I was, I was investing $2,500 checks, I was exchanging my services, my expertise for advisory companies because I spotted something very early, which was the path to being an investor. I saw that six years ago and I had a plan to work backwards of how will I one day be able to invest $2,500 up to $25,000 checks? And I'm sitting here as living proof that all I had was the belief that I would be here today. And I am here today. And I think that a lot of the time we glamorize these founders. And I can tell you now from being in these rooms, everybody is figuring it out. And everybody is walking around with that little tea trauma of who they were as a kid. And they are trying their best and they are taking their lived experiences and they are doing one thing with that. And it is creating momentum. Momentum is the secret word of the successful, it is the secret word of the rich. They find one thing, they roll that, they snowball that, they create momentum into something else. And momentum is the most powerful force in the world when you don't have anything to believe in but yourself. It's what Steven talked about a lot in his episode if you haven't listened to that about the bookshelf example. And how your bookshelf is all of the different things that you have been able to achieve. And it starts with nothing. And then you slowly start to add books to your shelf. And for me, that is a daily practice of gratitude, of writing, of remembering who the fuck I am, of my HSR love notes, to know that I bring value to the world, even if it's not in every single section of my life at once. And so those little moments of remembering my value and remembering the momentum that I'm creating and the impact that I am creating, that is how you believe in who you are becoming, not necessarily the proof that you have in that moment. So with that, thank you so much for tuning in. I knew I could talk to a dead horse, but you just proved it. I love you so much. I hope that we get to do this very soon. And I can't wait to see you next time. So please don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and send me more of your questions, because I can't wait to literally exploit my life to give you the best answer, because I've made so many mistakes in my life. And at least someone will get to benefit from them. So I love you. I can't wait to see you next week and talk to you soon.