The Mystery Boys Very Spooky Halloween Pt 1. | FILE_22 | Mystery Boys

[BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] Warning! Warning! Please be advised sirs only. This is one warning, sirs. Sentient AGI has broken local containment measures and may be on the loose in your area only. Calling people gay, do not approach AGI itself. Very dangerous. Very, very dangerous. [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] Welcome to the mystery boys. My name's scattered crumb. And with me here today is. Dr. Jonathan Shots. Dr. Shots. [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] I love two things. Getting fucked up, doing surgery. Doing complicated surgery. You do all surgeries? If I get enough drinks with me, I'll do any surgery you want. I won't even have to think I go into flow state. I go into what they call a doctor flow state. I was hoping Dr. Drew would have the guts to show up today. Why are you guys at odds? It seems like you guys have had a few weeks going on. Well, I run a talks clinic and that's why I get you fucked up. As opposed to like detox, you talks. Yeah, and I wanted to do a good point counterpoint to Dr. Drew. Because as you know, he's a little bit of a tea toddler. Yeah, yeah. But he ain't talking to Dr. Shots. And I thought it'd be good for the public to see two experts going. You think he's actively avoiding you? Does he feel threatened by your work? I didn't think that until he said he didn't have time in his visit to come to the show "The Mystery Boys." You know, I've spoken to him before. I know you have. Of course, it's Kankfest, which sounds like a joke. But it's not. He was at Kankfest with us. That's right. It sounds like a thing I made up. But no, there's the best guy. And also, Jimmy Doorshow, who's on talking about the COVID. We had common ground on the COVID-19 vaccine. He was one of the first doctors to not be a liar about it. Right. It's like he still doesn't get, you know, that there's absolutely nothing wrong with indulging. And I would say even. They call a drug abuse, but you're not hurting the drug. No. So it's misnomer. Technically, you're hurting yourself. I'm doing it if I don't do it. It really starts to hurt. Listen, I'm with you. Some drugs like to be abused. They'll drugs tell you when to stop. They will. If you're listening, doctor. I have a relationship with the spirit of the plant. As a doctor, I can tell you. And I bet doctors you could tell you. Survey finds 17 physicians use alcohol or drugs on the job to cope with stress. Is that true? Yeah. And I would say seven out of one. Which sounds impossible, but that's just how busy doctors are. Seven out of one. When you're on call like that, you want to sit down at a nice Mexican dinner with. Double date with some friends. Beep, boop, boop, boop. Time for more surgery. What med school do you go to? Jonathan Hopkins. No, that's not the same. Jonathan Hopkins. No, it's not. It's not establishment. Well, doctor, look, we have got a serious mystery. A real mystery. A mystery happening in real time. We use it at the hospital. We can't. Also, I'm a gynecologist. Who dimension that? Who plays by his own rules. That's cool. But I'm the best there is, so they got to. Hey, Dr. Shots, you really think you should be eating a bag of hot cheetos before this gyno exam? I go, what? I'm just looking for my fingers. What? That's great. Okay, and then bam, we find out what the problem was. That's great. The problem was there was hot cheeto dust on the woman's labia. here's the big mystery look at that the telaco is banish has vanished for 12 days why this is become well according to his campaign he said that he has the flu and who kind of flu i don't know no one know the gay flu because i remember that from the 80s said he has a fever that was turned out to be a lot more serious than a flu the republicans are saying that um he's had a mental health crisis his people know which one is he who's he the one that was like went all in on trans shit this race and i can't think of a smarter way to run you know like he's ten point to add one thing is like hey oh let's take a look at him oh and that boy what a what the fuck is he he's a claimation man here i have some choice clips we could play he looks like davie from davian goliath here i don't know if you've seen this do you know davian goliath tanner yeah do you mean david and goliath i thought the claimation is called davie davie yeah put it in so we can see uh Tommy uh boy this week's of uh is this like another show you used to watch uh it's old from the 70s hit it let's see hi it is it's the look look there he is Tommy Telleriko oh my god that's hilarious he's been on adventures with his clay doggy so that's uh that's so weird man it is really telleriko so apparently people are also saying this is like a strategy like he's ten points ahead so oh is he not missing he just hasn't been on uh no he cancelled shit he basically just this close to an election it's very strange okay here maybe watch this real quick i don't know if you've seen this this is really weird hmm okay let's okay let's go play let's see what we're looking at here wait what happened you guys just had it with the gentleman with the breasts where's that white educators that are on this call that these violent hierarchies these systems white supremacy heteropatriarchy um economic exploitation those things have um have colonized our own minds i think we have to understand especially for um the white educators that are on this call that these he's missing well wait pause one time so you're saying that they're saying that he he doesn't want to make any appearances while he's ahead yeah well that doesn't make any sense this is gold he's saying why would he go missing and not saying anything else after i mean i guess he says it all right now how do you follow that i mean i can see why he's up to 10 poise because that's great yeah who's he up against exactly he's ever he's kin fucking packed and uh that's what my father's been on name as well fucking do you know that can jump back to him does he spell it with a pee like this fucker kin packed and so this is the text look at that guy's eye what look at the eyes over there on him but no look up to the right look at the big one that one look down you see it up up up up up keep going up up there you go right there no you blew blew back yes look at his eyes look his eyes the fucking your fucking choices here man is he have like one one glass eye or something these are the choices can you make that big i want to know i i didn't know Texas had such formation created puppets as look at that oh look at that Tom Telleriko needs i answer for this where is he i don't know Ken Paxing he needs to come out and say well the he supports us roll Tomic Telleriko do you support Israel because Osport is wrong oh we changed school district to talk more about Israel yep i myself will be missing for 10 days because i will be in Israel oh and i if i'm elected i will change the state official state nickname to the Israel state the Israel state who's wrong no i did not sneeze that's how i say Israel Israel yeah it's just weird that's who we get to choose if you like it I called 10 Cruz just last night and i said 10 i can't sleep i'm thinking about Israel oh yeah that's really i'm thinking about Israel that's all i think about no amorous Israel yeah so that's his his platform and then Tommy Telleriko wisely doesn't even go near that that third rail of politics now which is Israel if you wonder when they say the third rail of politics it's Israel it's Israel uh Tommy Telleriko wisely knows hey i don't want to alienate anybody you know i don't know where you look i know everybody's got their opinions on what happening uh you know i hesitate to use the terms that people are using you know the one yeah okay i tend to take a measure to add shear and approach to that Israel Israel that is what also are you gonna vote while i'll vote if uh in the elections of this role do you gonna vote are you gonna vote in the text the text election text are you gonna vote in the Texas elections do you even give a shit do you do you have some kids so it matters in some way no you don't i guess fuck the election i'm sick of them um who cares which corrupt okay Tommy Telleriko sounds like a hypnotized uh satan public bit and the other guy sounds like a hypnotized iosatin puppet. So I don't care. Yeah. I mean, have you seen, have you seen the school curriculum where the guy's like, look, Israel's just better than you. And they're saying, I haven't seen that. Really? I haven't seen that. I mean, it's depressing. I shouldn't have brought it up. Well, you can catch Tommy Talleriko and David. It's creepy. It's creepy. Why are these the people we have to choose between? That's the part that bothers me. It's like, how are these so the system is supposed to produce? The two lie systems. So it's that way. It's supposed to produce two. I mean, I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why. Why? Because free will is real. And they know that is real. And that's right. Well, you, wow, you just jumped right on it, but you got it. Free will is real. israel trans trans israel trans israel israel israel is trans he just says trans israel trans israel trans israel trans trans trans trans trans is trans trans israel trans trans trans trans israel is Israel israel israel trans of Israel's trans what the fuck y'all? anyway we understand that as doctors as you know I'm not in the CIA or anything but in the CIA if I were we would understand that yeah if I was a hypothetically which I'm not a doctor who worked in the CIA to find new ways to perform a full spectrum dominance warfare what we would do is give you a framing device of yeah you get to make choices but I'm going to control every part of those choices right which like video game design they don't overwhelm you with choices in the games gotta be fun sure but I would argue that this game is not fun now doesn't feel very fun yeah I mean you're gonna need a better game design it looks like the the woke mind virus israel but do you think most people when they're looking at these choices are have in the pit of their stomach a kind of nauseating they do they don't really do they they then feel that they're doing a civic duty they're like I know it sucks but I do it as a duty you know that moron way someone thinks yeah who will look down on me who knows more than them every single time not even to brag it's just that's how stupid the average voter is that's how what a fucking chump cow moron you are if you vote so yeah of course they feel that but what they do is put that on somebody who's smart enough to know it's bullshit and get mad at them all right I didn't coin this phrase but Jimmy Doris says all time adult children of alcoholics that's what people who believe in American democracy are you know you're upsetting father oh he's asleep wow yeah yeah I mean it's the most alan country I've ever been to right there's like a bunch of people like a the dads a drunk and a child molester yeah and the rest are like shut up it's the midterms yeah right it's always something like that the midterms are coming to you sound anti-Semitic like shut the fuck up shut the fuck up you know devil don't say that don't say that I mean that's every argument from a Democrat side from a public inside they've switched to the old Democrat one which is shut up because now they have to do it because you know the rug pull of Trump they have to the same exact Democrat bullshit they got to act like like shame you for noticing that dad don't keep his promises and spends money like a drunk on everybody but the family right right right right so we're not supposed to say that yeah oh it's this is family we we are family we protect each other and dads evil ways right and uh his weird friend his weird Jewish friend and they traffic kids together we don't talk about that in this house they're helping them they take him to freedom camp but you think most people are cognizant that this is such a bullshit is cognizant in the front of your head it's I think they're subconsciously aware at least I don't know I don't think they're conscious they they're most people are conscious the unaware but they're consciously aware of it subconsciously aware of it consciously not aware of it because it's subconscious it drives a lot of anger because they're conscious it's telling them it's real yeah and when you're not doing it it's the same reason Tommy Talleriko is talking about some dumb gender shit oh your brain was just colonized to think that there's a difference between Pepe's and Louise oh was there Tommy you claim he had more fucking really yeah I have a better clip of him talking about that shit well yeah let's get a better clip can I hear the other guy talk because I'd like to hear his words on this group hug okay so the two of them aren't even arguing with each other about the same points it sounds like I don't even I I'm one's missing I've kind of been ignoring it because it's so gross but then I mean I'm playing Tommy Talleriko he must make himself sick here in this shit it is fascinating to be sort of vanished hey are we sponsored by Almighty Leaf brand slugs because that dude rules he sent me a bunch of Almighty Leafs so I'll have to roll my own he saw me on this show he goes you were on Delta nine with substandard leaf and sent me a big creative some good leaf how James Talleriko not showing up in public and cancelling all public appearances what do you think they hid that little socialist the media how do you lose it Tommy Talleriko this is a very sick so this is basically what the I don't know who runs taxes like what dark entities but I do know they want to Brian talent run for governor do you know that what yes I'm very very wealthy people count told me when I did their show him in shop which is like I admire count for saying no to it because he knew like well I don't know how to but just think of how government works that they they sought him out what did I do hey trust I will do it if I get I would run for governor yeah I mean I'm not gonna win but it would be fun to see what that's like okay what matters is who's backing you know that's what depends because I'll call and people to bag me you don't want them you don't want them yeah I do you know they're hardcore well maybe you do say whatever I just want to know what it's like on the campaign I think all is not capable of understanding the the rich people that he gets around you think Carolyn would like like string stand-up dates with his campaigns or you know like he gets to buy his credit he was like I'm not doing that yeah because other people might do it that's crazy man getting sucked into politics is such a mistake but he's a guy that doesn't and I know him and he's wrong about almost everything he ever says regarding that oh dude I I cast him in the pilot yeah listen the pilot and the pilot is coming up really I'm I'm pretty happy with it dude that's great man okay oh except working so hard on it well in spurts but he's so perfect as the main guy it's like talk about my Steve Carell dude I just can't describe how good he is this guy and that's like they want that guy in real life they want a George W Ed Sheeran do we have Jake Paul right hunter Biden right we already know he's running because of the rug pull he did on that kid with the bad skin right that guy do the show who um what's his fucking name calendar calendar calendar calendar I don't know yeah we should get him I mean I know he's not mad that I'd mention his skin right I mean guys are growing mad just get looked at maybe just hit like a cook apology or something and then say you're sorry hey this doctor shots talking I can help you out yo let me get a feeling you don't quit your shit right up it's a cheap dig no it's not it's a what's on attack it's an attack I'm a qualified doctor and I and you're all over YouTube and Instagram what do you want why don't you take them look there is ways to help that once you get on birth control you he's a man we should work even better than I hear the doctor I don't know man yeah I am thank you for acknowledging I didn't know Dr. Drew's down here to protect you and your bullshit you know I'm asking for Dr. Drew to protect me can't run to Dr. Drew's skirts no more cuz he didn't show up and now I'm talking about young Napoleon dynamite here the reporter you should not have attacked his skin that was I said you'd think what you get some money that was a low blow and I didn't speak up I was I'm saying when you have some money you would think you know you would think you might invest a little bit of dermatologist I'm just saying as a doctor maybe he doesn't want to spend that money on his skin or like a suit maybe you know the suit of tiny tin his spirit soul maybe don't wear the same suit as tiny tin when you go do your report to I've just a suggestion maybe you should just let people be who they are for one well I'd like to but that's why I'm a doctor and you're a fucking dipshit bluetooth is the official sponsor of the mystery voice you know what else bluetooth should sponsor that look your girl gives me when she's ready for another round and all the text you send your neighbors that say sorry for the noise but Duncan's banging down my girl bluetooth the official sponsor of your downstairs neighbors banging on the ceiling because I'm banging on your mom that's right Blutchy Gold is making bedrooms noisy again with four powerful groups. 2 for blood flow and 2 for arousal. Enter into a new era of stress-free sex with the number one brand for better sex. No in-person doctor visits, no waiting rooms, just a simple online process, and BAM. I'll be blowing bedposts out like never before. Banging down your lady, banging down your mom, banging down your man. All thanks to Bluetooth. Visit yourself at Bluetooth.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Right now when you buy two months of Bluetooth gold, you get the third free with promo code mystery. That's promo code mystery. You will also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the better. Let me see. Yeah. I like that. Oh, I forgot my pimple stars. Okay, wait here. Hold on. We got to scrap this all. I got it. I got the Tallerico thing for you to watch. Hang on. I'm sending it right now. You know, do you guys, I saw Bart A. Lee have one of those stars on his face talking to someone. No, he did not. Yes, he did. He's talking Tim Dylan about being in-- You know, they're medicated. You know, I didn't know that. I thought they were just stickers. Yo, I ordered them in bright colors, so it looks the same problem as it. They've got medicine. Why are you so cruel to people who have skin problems? What the fuck, man? Oh, my God, I'm so mean. I look at it. You got to be cruel to be kind and, you know, it's, uh, you have to scrub it down. You know, scrub it down. Guys, great idea. Once again, great setup of the props to plan around my enormous size. Good job. I just turned the seat and it's knocked over. What the fuck is it? Oh, it's okay. I got it. Hold on. My God. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. All right. That's fucking-- Wow. Well, you guys really said there's something fucking assholes. Are you having your skin cleaned all yet? Sar? Y'all look gay. I'm not gay. You're gay, bitch. What did you just call me? What's that you little gay ass queen? I called you gay because you're a gay ass bitch. What bitch? Oh, shut up. Y'all are both a couple of little candy ass little, caddy queers. Oh, shut up, bitch. Y'all are gay. Bitch, don't be calling me gay. You're the only fruity petudi I see down there. You and your little old Korean power bottom. Oh, shut up, bitch. Y'all are gay. This is just gay as hell. Sorry, if there's a little bit of a truth bomb from Dr. Shots. God damn. What was that, a credit thing? I got great credit. I'm a doctor. All right, let's get back to hearing these guys talk about this one. Did you get the thing I sent you, you guys? Unnecessarily. Enough. OK, where are you going? That's so bad. Why are you so cruel about skin? I don't have a good answer. Something that you love that's not-- OK, this watches. Watch this. Oh, god. We can build a mind while I do it as a doctor. Something that you love that's not family or friends. I love-- I'm just saying this because it's on my mind. The trans children who showed up yesterday at the State Capitol-- I'll say that. I mean, it's as if they're humanity. They shouldn't have to, but it was an inspiration. I'm so remodeled, I talked over it, because I couldn't believe what just went in my head. Went into my earhole. It's because it's on my mind. The trans children who showed-- The trans children-- how old are they? Tommy told me to go. The trans children are on his mind. I mean-- Yo, did they come up with this guy to force the Israel guy to win, who's totally not a likeable? Because honestly, God like-- I don't know. First of all, why is she asking that question? What do you love-- will you play that again? No, it's-- No, no, no, play it again. I just want to hear the question. And just play the whole thing. Stop it right there. Who gives a shit? Like, why would you ask that question? Well, why don't you ask me that question? Well, because you're not running for governor. Ask me the question. But you're not running for-- Just that, please ask. What is something you love besides family and friends? The great pulled out. OK. [SCREAMS] [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] Y'all look gay as hell. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] It's all you have to say, right? There's so many things you could say, like squirrels. Or good oysters, like-- For my question is, who is the woman? Can you go back to that clip because I'm just trying to understand why you would ask a candidate for governor? Who is this bitch? Something that you love. So this question is so inane that it has to be-- So he could say, I love the trans children. Now, I just want to say trans children, what does that mean? What do you mean? Are those kids with tits? I think it means kids with gender dysphoria. OK, so that means, but what stage-- can we see the kids he met? Is that them? He is not going to show-- Yeah, it looks like they're them, right there. They're not going to show the trans kids. Yeah, they just did. Go back. Go back. No, I just Googled trans kids. OK, but this right here is from-- I don't want to see the people against it. I want to know what trans kids he met with. No, this isn't the people-- These are the people at the state capital he was mentioning in the video. Jinsing and Delta 9, give you-- Pep gets Dr. Shots through a tough day of surgery. I work at a plant parenthood. I'm kind of a reverse patch Adams, if you will. OK. I got it strong. I got it. You know, one of the worst things of playing parenthood is when we lose a patient. You know, some of these women go home with full intact babies. And I take that personally every time it happens. I understand. We did all the prescribed-- Dr. Shots, you work at plant parenthood? Yeah, they'll go, I don't understand. We did everything right. We performed their abortion. We gave a boardificent medications. But this kid is still alive. And I go, you're not looking at the spiritual element of it. Yeah. OK? You're not looking at the killing power of laughter. That's so beautiful. And Shots. Now, who wants Shots? And I go to every patient, I go, have a shot. That's so cool. I don't need shots. I'm about to go in and get a weird procedure done that I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Well, that's why you need some shots. That's so sweet. That's so-- you're such an inspiration to me, Dr. Shots. Yeah, I used to do a clown nose. But it actually made them more pregnant somehow. I don't get-- It's weird. Yeah, but Shots will do the trick. So you were just going to play-- Call that a Ukrainian lead term-- OK, never mind. La Vanka. Look, this is an epic specialist. There's a job opening. Where? Is it 54/34? 54K a year. Do you know I'm also a qualified pooh-duh? Epic specialist. Baster mode with some travel is needed to Ann Arbor. What are they? Plant parent of Michigan has implemented a mandatory vaccination policy, of course, to maintain data integrity. This actually looks pretty interesting. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry. It's a job. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Just a-- I'm sorry. I'm distracted. One of my patients, she had a healthy child. I'm sorry, dude. You can't kill them all, man. Dude, I took her to six flags. Speaking of failed abortions, can we pull up that woman in Tennessee? This is pretty interesting. Can you have the ones I sent, right? Because I know Duncan's going to want to get to the bottom of this. What is it? The woman who got the-- We sent it to the Tanner office line that he said. We sent it to-- Christophe-- Pike botched lethal injection. And it's in a Nashville hospital recovering. Isn't that crazy? - Who the hell is that? - Tennessee is so inept that they can't kill them. - Oh yes, they got me for that. I told them to hire me for that and they didn't want to and now look, she's alive. - They wanted you for that. What would you have done? Like what did they do wrong here? - Okay, first of all, do you know the actual details is insane? - This is the fifth botched execution. I'm not making that up. - And Tennessee. - Yeah, the guy who's in charge has just been botched. The guy botches right on the left. They should call him Dr. Botch. 'Cause he fucked up. - But how can you fuck it up? - The thing is his dashy, Tanner. I sent this. - No, don't say that number, no. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Oh yes, they ain't good life. (upbeat music) - Is that your mother's name? So anyway, Christopher Pike, they couldn't, the problem with this, I don't know why they do lethal injection other than because the chemicals aren't made anymore to do it. - Yeah. - It always was a horrible painful death up there with the gas chamber. - Right. A lot of people are drug addicts that get the death penalty in terms of how you can't find their fucking veins. So they couldn't find her vein. She had small veins. I think her lawyers argued in court it would be cruel 'cause she's one of these people where you can't find the vein. - Yeah. - The chemical they use now, I'm not sure, but the one they were talking about using if I'm thinking the right one was basically like giving you the bends, it looked sounding like, like carbonating you to death. I don't know if that's the one they were using on her. Okay now, this one right here, okay. - Oh yeah, okay. - So they completely fucked that up. It's kinda like a Shawshank redemption. - How so? - Remember the guy fucked the execution up in the beginning, he didn't wet the sponge? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you guys had co-fired? - Yeah, yeah. So it's like that, they just wanted her to suffer. Well, 'cause she, she had barely burned her arm up. - The guy in charge of the execution specifically is completely incompetent apparently. The chemicals, they had no way to know if they were good or not. Like even if they had it of any, it might have not. - Look, I don't mean, there's a guy that's trying to help not save life in the body of me. - But Dr. Shawsh, couldn't you just theoretically put a plastic bag on her head, and then like, tie the bag off? - Yo, that's the first thing I do. Have you had medical training? That's the first thing I do. - No, I just, you're a natural. - You're a natural, because that's exactly what they teach you to do. And you just said it, and that's, I'm actually bringing-- - You might run out of air, plastic bag, I've seen in movies. - I'm very impressed with you, just that came to you. - Yeah, thank you. - Have you thought about becoming a doctor? - Not until just a second. - I've never said this to anyone before, but I think you should really consider dropping everything you're doing and becoming a doctor. - Well, 'cause also what about, like you could take a dagger and shove it into her heart? - Well, I think the issue with that is then you get into like, you know, these, and I know it's crazy, but these worlds have fans. - Yeah. - And then you get into this romanticism and parasocial relationship. - Yeah. - It was very symbolic to do that. And then you're gonna have copycats. Oh, I'm gonna stab my heart because the beautiful woman I love-- - I see. - You know, it went out that way. - But it's okay, so not a person, but you could just have like a machine. It's like, it's a board or something that's got a dagger on an end, and you press a button and the board goes down and stabs into the heart. So it's more like the electric chair, like-- - Kind of like the game MouseTrap. - Yeah, yeah. - So you got, it's kind of like a shop is going set up execution. - Yes. - So you're not, you don't get your hands dirty. - Exactly, you could have five buttons, different winners throughout Tennessee get to press the button and it'll blow you in an active environment. - You know, that's a lot of profound philosophical questions that you're raising with this whole idea because it's like, okay, is there a god, right? And you think about the dominoes to make that board go down and hit that bitch right in her fucking murderous heart. - Right in the heart. - Okay, but did anyone kill her? Did it just happen? But somebody pushes the first domino no matter what? - Right, like, yeah, we didn't start the fire. - You know, I mean, how far back do you want to take it? Is it like, there's a point where the dog, is she both did get hit with the board of the nail and did not get hit with the board of the nail? - She rode the nose dagger. - And I don't know how to look at the situation without collapsing that wave function and causing one of the other to be true. - Well, I'm saying. - Dr. Schott, I guess the real question is, what do we do now? She survived a botched execution. - She was brain dead, so technically they did kill her. - Yo, hey, I want to make guarantee, which can't, let me look right in the camera there. Yo, is it on me? 'Cause I see it's not on me, okay. - It's on you. - It had better, it had better because it's important. You better believe this. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, it's on you now. - Hey, you know a bitch that you want dead or you want to be dead? Are you a bitch and wants to be dead? And I don't care. Bitch man or woman, you want to be dead? - You party one night with Dr. Schott, you're not waking up. How about a nice party with Dr. Schott's? How about that? - Yeah. - Hey, how would you like to be executed? Let's pretend you're on trial. What's her name again? What did you say your name was? - What? - Sir, what's your name? - What's your name? - What is this? - Well, no, 'cause I just wanted to give you a set up, a scenario. What's your name again? - I can't remember my name. - What was his name, anyone? - Look, let's just come up with a new name, lectern, my name's lectern Doyle. - Okay, okay, lectern Doyle. You stand convicted of aggravated murder. That's even worse than regular murder. - That's your opinion. - You go, no, the conviction to trial happens. So, I mean, you stand convicted of that. - I hear you. - And that indicates pre-meditation to the jury that you are gonna get the death penalty. - No, no. - In this state, in this state, Tommy, Talleriko's, Texas. - Yeah. - Okay. - You get to decide what gender you wanna die as first. - Okay, thank you. - Before anything, what gender? - I'm going out as a man. - Okay, that's up to you, it's on my business. Okay. - Well, you asked. - Now, as a man, how you want to be. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. - What? - A patient I was worried about, but she didn't have the abortion. - Yeah. - Well, that is a relief. - That's gotta be wild to live. Like in that state. - Well, I thought I was gonna have to get Dr. shot to his grabber out and get the rest of that out of there. - Holy shit, is that what that's for? - Well, I mean, a multipurpose, you know, I don't, I'm not a rich dog. I don't have like multiple grabbers. Okay, so, would you rather have me fiddle around for a vein in your fat, fat, matronly older woman arms? - Yeah. - A vein that I will never find in your arm, just gets even fat, the arm fat that wouldn't go to begin with now is getting even worse. Okay, so that's a whole other operation. And you're not dead. - Why don't you just blow my brains out? (laughing) - And that brings me to choice B. You want a party with Dr. Schatz? - Yeah. - I'll blow your brains out. - Why do we have to prolong this? - Oh, you'll want to prolong it, trust me. It's a party, man. - Dr. Schatz. - Listen, how many people, you know, that went out partying that were executed? - So you're kind of like the fun. What was the name of that doctor, the suicide doctor? - Coworkian? - Yeah, you're like the fun, Coworkian. - And I know, this is like controversial, but I never found him fun. Never made me laugh once. - You met Coworkian. - I know, you know, he's such a pioneer, but I never thought he was funny, dude. - So you're kind of like him, but you take people out for one final fun night. That's like, that would watch that movie. - And sometimes that final fun, the party? - Like a series. - You don't party way to heaven. - It's usually great, and I just mean on legal level, okay? When you come to John O. Schatz. John O. Schatz. - This is the greatest TV series of all time. - Schatz, yeah. - No, hold on. - Dr. Schatz, this woman's baby's going to survive inside of her. Can you come in and do your material? - You're like a hitchhiking doctor. - Hi, I go to the next-- - You're a hitchhiking doctor. - I hitchhike to a different plan, paradise. - He's like highway to heaven. - It's like Jack Reacher a little bit too. - You end up in different plan. - In a way, I'm like Reacher, if you like that show Reacher. - People who want to kill themselves, people who can't afford a portion. - Hey. - And you like help them. - I'm not here to tell you how to die. - I'm here to show you a good, mother fucking time. Okay, yeah. - This is the best series ever. - Okay, yeah, Dr. Schatz. Yeah, I wear all black except for my lab coat, my silver ass reflective glasses, and my sparkly says, "Let's go." - Ah, man. - Dr., yeah, that was a prototype of the from the show, Dr. Schatz. I don't think that guy looks like me. So that's why we didn't go with that. I have final call. By the way, this property of Dr. Schatz, my life story. I have full rights to it. So that's why you, that's why you're not gonna see what they did to Chris Hansen. You're not gonna see him do that to Dr. Schatz. - It just can't just see it like Dr. Schatz. He gets picked up. He's like on a highway. He gets picked up by this old man. He's like, "I just follow where I'm needed." Complaining about his back. - My back hurts so bad. And I'm just got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. - Oh, well, I'll take a hit of this flash and tell me all about it, brother. - And that's the beginning. And then like you basically like kill the old man. - What is that? Oh, that's alcohol I made from Annie Freeze, like in that movie The Master. - Oh, what's that gonna do with my back pain? - Yeah. try to really explain the master to them. Have you seen that? The master sir. - Oh, I usually just watch Fox News. - It's on Joaquin Phoenix. Let me tell you, Philip C. Moore Hoffman, one of his final roles, and I party with him, if you know what I'm saying. And I guess who he party with. And anyway, the guy mixes up Joaquin, Phoenix's character, he has a hair lip. That's one thing I think's really great about him. He has like a weird scholar. So I guess he's fucked up about it. Then Philip C. Moore Hoffman plays a fat gay guy or something. And then. - Hey Dr. Shaw's, can you suck my dick while I'm driving? - You delirious here, hold on. Hold on Dr. Shaw's. Dr. Shaw's. - And you know what's great, there's stuff that I feel like- - You never wrote it. - 'Cause they said something great. What I just fed you from straight out of the movie, the master, I could just, not even stroke, just clumsily pinch at your cock with this, and you'll think you're being blown by an angel. - How along that? - Yeah, of course you would, you've been poisoned. You fool, I poisoned the shit out of you. - You see, this is a great series. We need to tighten it up. - I tell them as they're dying, how I've poisoned them. Like, you know, it looks like, oh, we're just partying and maybe it's an accent, right? - Yeah. - And that's how it looks in the world of the show. But to you, the viewer, you know that Dr. Shaw's did this to you. - Yeah. - And now you're inside of me forever. - Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that part. - Oh my yes. - So you absorb them? - You know, Dr. Shaw's, yeah. - Is he doing it to help people, sure, but also a piece of you lives on inside of Dr. Shaw's. - That's cool. So everyone, Dr. Shaw's skills becomes a cast member. - And yes, and inside they're like, they call for more, I just fed you guys. I just gave you new roommates. - I love you. - We are alone. - It's kind of like-- - They've asked more of the soul essence. I look in their eyes as they die of party and with Dr. Shaw's. - Great, Dr. Shaw's. - It's got everything, romance, drama. - It's Gabby's dollhouse, but with people that you've executed. - Well, I didn't date party, okay. Kavorkian, you know, I think Kavorkian, that guy, I mean, I would have died just sitting, looking at his face as he's getting a needle out. If that motherfucking in my house and got out of needle. - Yeah. - And look at him. My God. - He doesn't seem fun. - He looks like a Lance Hendrickson. But you know, Kavorkian, where are the Kavorkians? - Do you know that's not, he was never sense of that. That is how he comes. - How many people did Kavorkian help in Japan? - Because I'm, I'm looking, this is starting to become a Japanese pornography now. - Yeah. - Which, by the way, if you want that at your last party, we can get that. Well, man, anyway, you got to feed Dr. Shaw's. - So Dr. Shaw's. - I wonder, I'm not doing this for money. Dr. Shaw's. - You have this. - Don't kill for money. - I count soul of people in Japan. - Oh my God. Now that. - That's what I'm talking, that's it. (laughing) - And I like how they got my accurate height of five nine. I can see from here. (laughing) Yo, I like the AI. - It's great. - Sometimes AI will be like, how tall is Dr. Shaw's five nine? (laughing) Do you ever tell girls you're shorter than you are to make your dick look bigger? (laughing) I tell girls I'm three feet tall so that it looks bigger. Oh, Dr. Shaw, you know, I liked it. What I like is that you decided to find the original trademark that the show was based on. - I can hear the theme song. - I appreciate that, I can hear it. I can hear the theme song. - What's the theme song? It's the mash song in reverse with devil sounds. - Sax, it's saxophones and like. - Right, David Lynch bullshit. - No, I think it's more like Americana but with saxophones, you know, like it's an Americana show. It's like the spirit of America is a nomadic abortion as to also help people commit suicide. - The phrase Kabbalah, Dr. typically refers to figures who blend Jewish, mystical traditions. Oh, you know, here's the thing, and this is the wild thing that Dr. Shawts, he's not Jewish. It's kind of like a better-calls-all situation. - Wait a minute. - You know, he knows people will accept a Jewish baby killing doctor better than a regular guy. So he took the name Shawts. - Shawts. - You know, like people like, oh, what are you in Irishman? I don't want you to do my abortion. You have no thanks. I don't need an Irishman doing my taxes or my abortions. - Hymn Shiper. - Shipper. - Hymn Shipper. My shipment of Hymn's is around. - Okay, I just realized that you were trying to do a polite Robert Rice reading, my Robert Reich. - Hymn Shipper. - Hymn M Shiper. No, it's Hymn Shipper. - Shipper, Hymn Shipper. - Oh, now he's, that's a different thing. He's a guy to call this. - My daddy was a Hymn Shipper. - Yeah, well, remember when we had on Juan, the four most homunculus, I forget. - We had a money. He was talking about the African endangered penis trade. Remember that there's missing kids and they captured 200 sacks of penises. - I remember that. - And we couldn't figure out why those stories were related. And I think we settled on, somebody bought a shipment of kids with a shipment of endangered animal penises. That was the currency. - You know, man. - How many de-- - Speaking of fucking with-- - I have five right now, so he's deep. - Dude, I went to see, I saw that movie about the date-warn guy. - Who's that? - He had to catch a predator guy. - Wow, yes. - Before we watch that movie, I'm so glad you brought, yes, prime time. I'm glad you brought that. - Prime time. - Can we go to the rain both Tanner, the one I sent you all this of the guy, because you've talked about now, you being a natural born doctor, you're gonna wanna take this case. - This is-- - Not this, okay. There he is with the hot take. Make that big. - It's talking about how important-- - You've been getting horrible. - How do I miss a moment? - Oh, they're fucked. - He's so called leftists talking about how horrible generative AI is, because it's bad for the environment. And I think it's disgusting. As you may know, I myself am disabled. I suffer from multiple disabilities, but for the sake of this video, I'm only going to be mentioning too in particular, autism and ADHD. - It's common knowledge that we all need to experience pleasure. - That's enough buddy. - Because of my autism and the way my-- - Go back, go back, go back, I'm sorry. I got caught up in that. He decided with his many disabilities. He's only gonna tell you two of them. And when you hear those two, like, you know what? I don't need to hear any of your other disabilities, right? - Those are the two he picked. Autism, ADHD. - I can't, you know, you can't pick out what fucking push animal a jerk off on. All right, go back a little bit. - I like his shirt. - Go back a little bit. - I don't know if he'll pick. - Well, yeah, I thought that too, but no. Don't get ahead of the mystery, 'cause that's part of it though. Don't think it's not. - Okay, okay. - Press play, but just go back a little bit on it because I, we missed, I'm sorry. It's just, it's really emotional this thing for me. - Yeah, this guy, you worked up, Dr. Shock. - I came in and fired up on this. Can you, just go to the beginning. Just, everybody shut up. Shut up Tanner, let it play. - Sorry. - Okay, play. (indistinct chatter) - Being so-called leftists, talking about how horrible generative AI is because it's bad for the environment, and I think it's disgusting. I suffer from multiple disabilities, but for the sake of this video, I'm only going to be mentioning two in particular, autism and ADHD. It's common knowledge that we all need to experience pleasure. Because of my autism and the way my brain hyperfocuses on extremely specific things, vanilla stuff just doesn't do it for me. - Oh no. - I am someone with extremely niche tastes. - Oh. - To be specific, I am a huge enjoyer of Rule 34, of a Goomba and Koopa from Mario. You know, doing it. You may be thinking, why don't you just dry it yourself? - Well, I have ADHD, which causes me to experience executive dysfunction. This makes it extremely difficult to start much less finish a task. Therefore, I have AI do it for me. - Oh, but the environment, the environment, I really don't care what a bunch of crazy tree huggers have to say. You criticize me because what I am doing is bad for the environment, but I bet most of you drive cars. And frankly, I find that extremely hypocritical. How are you going to criticize society while participating in it disabled people like? - Ugh. - Your brain keeps letting it finish. - Yeah, I let it finish. - A lot of great, a lot of time back here. - Anybody else deserve pleasure. And if that pleasure comes from AI-generated Goomba, ex-Kuba Rule 34, then so be it. Disability justice is one of the core pillars of leftism. If you are against generative AI, you are against disabled people. - Okay. Okay, now for the records, I am against disabled people, but that's neither here nor there. - I doesn't surprise me. You're a bully. You fucking are cruel to people with acne. - Did you enjoy your potion earlier? - Yeah. - You just party with Dr. Shots. - What the fuck, Dr. Shes, I don't want it. - Okay, now. - I have kids. - Well, yeah, listen, yeah, I know. It's fucked up. Okay. (laughing) - Dr. Shes. (laughing) - Dr. Shes. (upbeat music) - Ew, y'all. (upbeat music) Ew, y'all. Ew. (upbeat music) - I should've saved it for the twist of the end. But I've actually, you're all been poisoned. You're gonna die within 24 hours of partying with me, Dr. Shes. Okay, Dr. Shes is a really dark character. I mean, there's some hints that there's something - Very dark. - Super natural behind it that's not entirely better. - Very steel souls. - Why would he talk like that? - He's a. - A piece of you lives in me now as your partner - Yeah, he's scary. - You know, I think I'd want to get, to goddamn botch injection when I think of a creep like Dr. Shes. - I think it's a movie or a series. - Yeah, every, it's a new story, like every week, you know, like when they made the hitchhiker, wasn't the hitchhiker of the movie, it was the hitchhiker of the series. - Yeah. - And it was a creepy hitchhiker would tell you another creepy ass story. - You mean, you should meet a happily pregnant person and somehow, for many hours a year, I've got to help. - I've got to help. - I don't want an abortion, I'm really excited to have the child. - I think science has sent me to hit this town for a reason. - Yeah, and you convinced her to. - Okay, now my first question, when you mentioned the ball pit that is a shirt, I initially thought that may be too, but no. It's, is that in fact, colorful popcorn and hard candy, as a shirt? Am I wrong? Is that look like popcorn? - Oh yeah, that is, that's some kind of candy assortment. - Okay, is one of the disabilities. Now, I would like to guess at what, 'cause I'm like, I hope, and I haven't checked 'cause I'll be too crushed if there's not there. I hope his other disabilities, he does cover those at some point. - What are they? What do you think they are? If you have to guess. - Okay, but I don't know the names of them. So if you, you know, even though I'm a doctor. - Borderline personality disorder. - Cutting your own hair disease. - My polar. - Like, like your shirt-hearted, like you know how to pick out shirts good, and you'd wear like a candy shirt. - Some kind of ball. - Like your shirts indicate you're retarded, but you're like, good with computers. - Is that a disease? - I don't know, man, I mean, what do you- - I'm asking you 'cause you're a natural. I've never been so impressed with somebody's natural doctor ability. - What do you think this person does for a job? Like, how do you think they generate income? - They can't, they're executive function. And this is, and someone that's autistic and that's ADHD. They can't even finish, you know what rule 34 is? - No. - I know, what an asshole, right? - What's rule 34? - It's a 4-chant thing. - What is it? - You know, 4-chant, the Chinese guy, it's kind of like one of his proverbs. - Come on, what is it? - Rule 34 is, anything that exists, someone will make porn of it. - Oh, I assumed he was talking about turning Mario into porn, and I just thought, rule 34 is- - I thought, yeah, if I'm being honest, I had no idea. I go, I go, grok, what in the- - Yeah. - Actually, H is- - No, I knew it was some kind of Mario fetish or something, I just didn't know rule 34 or 3rd to that. - Because he said they tend to hyperfixate on a thing. - Yeah. - Okay. - Honestly, God, I know, all joking aside. - What? - That kid rule, no. - He's a great kid. - When I was doing Pussies with Dunn again. - Yeah. - Okay, and neither of us in our wildest flights of fancy in the show Pussies, which we did a pretty good job of being huge Pussies. - Yeah. - Ever thought to do what that kid's doing, and not only that, because I'm like, is this a joke? Can we go look at his, my eternal question is, is this a joke? - Right. - And I think it's not because of like him saying, oh, these so-called leftists, and then it's not knowing the environment is like, what do you mean the core pillars? Pillars are on each side, by the way. - Well, let's look at his other posts. - Yeah, I subscribed to him immediately. Oh, get ready for the mystery boy's bump. - Let's look at his other posts. - I mean, I think this guy might be too freaky to party with Dr. Schatz. - I don't think so. - A Dr. Schatz. - It should be your sidekick in the show. - Hi, Dr. Schatz. I feel like I might want to lose. - He should travel around with you. - He should be my sidekick. - Yeah, this is your sidekick. - Don't I deserve it? - He's your son. - Is this Dr. Schatz's pleasure? - This Dr. Schatz is a strange son, and he's decided to take him on a road trip. (laughing) He doesn't know his dad. What kind of doctor is daddy? - What is that movie with Ed O'Neill where he's gonna cross the country with his new step side? - Yes. - Remember that? What's it called? It's Ed O'Neill, something, and it's like, Ed O'Neill's trying to stuff besides Mary with children. - It's a movie, it's a movie. - He was like, okay, and yeah, do you remember it? What is it? Does it say? Wait, no, not modern family. That's where he stays home with a fat step son. There's a '90s one where it's like, and the kids like, so. - Dutch. - Dutch. - Yeah. - Yo, you're just described dutch with me and the boy. - This is dutch with you and this kid. - Look at, really, (laughing) shots. - It's called. - Shots, could someone please make a poster shot? - Oh, shots, look at the kid. Have him give me a nookie. You have him give him shots and nookie. - But it's really touching, you know? He's like getting to know his dad. - Okay, so let's get to know my son. - There's a place more of this stuff to get this character. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - All right, can we play? Is this a joke? Go back, is this a joke? - I don't know, it could be a joke. This is a joke. Doesn't go to another one. - I've seen a lot of cis people posting this as a joke recently and I think that it's extremely insensitive to the trans community. It really upsets me to see cis people treating this as some sort of ha-ha funny moment when the trans community is known to have a history with pumpkins. Do you better? I've seen-- - Okay, stop, this is a joke, I think. - I think it's like rage bait. - Pegas sister to, well, okay, but rage bait to me. Look, I wasn't even rage by this at all. I wanted you to help me solve mystery, in fact. - I think it's like Andy Kaufman level, like trolling. - You know, okay, the other, the first one honestly got. The first one about pleasure. If you really plum plum the depths of the internet, the way Dr. Schatz does, you will know that dude, when they say clam world, it's not like just a saying. - Right. - Like, it's literally that crazy. However, the last couple we watched, a couple of them like, this is a joke. - Well, I don't know, man. - After those last two, I think it's a joke. - What difference, I mean, it doesn't even matter. - Here's the difference it makes to me. - Art is art. - If it is a joke, we can get him to be my son for real on the show. - Right. - I'm learning as a doctor, everything, is that, I don't know anything. - I know, that's kind of beautiful. - I don't know, anything about medicine. I learn that every day as a doctor. - It's beautiful, you learn as you go. - And then, and then I realized, no, I didn't. - Sometimes you learned absolutely nothing that matters. - That's the ultimate wisdom of being a doctor. At the end, you ultimately, I actually don't, I'm actually was never qualified, 'cause I don't know anything. Now, let's go party. - It's an honor. - Now, who is this? - Transgender CIA officer speaks out after being ousted. - Well, well, I'm not in the CIA, so I've never had an opinion on inter office stuff in the CIA. - Yeah, it cares. - Number one, let's establish that. Neither of us have ever been in the CIA. That's the fact, okay? So, I don't know this bitch used to be a guy named Tim. - I want to see an interview with this person. You guys find it? I want to hear them speaking out. - Here comes Tim, oh, he's a girl now. What happened towards the end with Mike Pence and what he said to you? - He had asked me to extend, and I did work an additional few months, and at the end, he invited my family to the West Wing, including my mother, and he had, my mom had had a very difficult time, at one point, with my transition, when I transitioned to many years before. - Close-minded bitch. - And I'm standing there in Mike Pence's ceremonial West Wing office, and he's taking my mother's hand, and he said, "You must be very proud of your daughter." And I'm just sitting there looking at the scene, and thinking, "This is. " - Hey guys, a woman's talking. Can we not have other conversation? - Yeah, what the fuck? - Oh, I'm a real funny Tanner. - Look at this, is it? - No, it's not shits. (laughing) Hold on, let me address that. (laughing) You know, shits Creek, that joke's been made, you hack. Shits Creek, I was in the same shots because I didn't want shits Creek, which now you're gonna get accusations of that brought on us. - It was the AI. - You know, Red Band is watching. - It was the AI. - Red Band is watching. - What do you not get, oh, about that. - It was the AI. - I'm sorry. - He don't like what he sees right now. - Shits. - It was the AI. - No, I don't play in the AI because I utilize AI quite a bit in my medical practice. Hey, Grock, how do I do this surgery right now? I'm pretty drunk. - Can we make it more? I think that's-- - Oh, okay, Grock, I'm not drunk. How do I do this surgery? - I feel like that's a little too comedic. I'd like it a little more sentimental. Still funny, but more-- - He's still gonna be, I'm gonna hug him like, man, I didn't want to talk to him. - I want a little kid-will-hunting feel to it. - I'm gonna tell him it's okay that my pants touch him and his, you know? - You're like Robin Williams. - I mean, not this one, the other one. It was very rude what you did that CIA woman. And if I was in the CIA, I'll go back with my partner, Duncan Trussell. - Dude, you have to-- - He was in the CIA and go, hey, we need to handle someone and I think you know who he is. - You help him, you help give him, like, a breast implants. That could be a big scene in the man. - And by the way, Tanner-- - What? - What? (upbeat music) - Where's the black man with breasts that I saw earlier that I'd like to see again? - Yeah, that was-- You did Jesus with that. - I mean, Dr. Shod's is fixing a party hard. You know what that-- - You did Jesus with that one there. - You know what I'm gonna do now, but then you took the shots, not shits, Tanner. - You gasped on those AI. - Why'd you take it away? - You wanna see it? - There it is. - No, no, I don't wanna see it. Not any, you had one up. - He had one up. - I'm finding it. - Yeah, when you find a treasure like that, well, how do you lose it? That's the point. - I don't lose it. - There's a T's in us. - You know? - This is a T's. - You ever look at a medical, like a encyclopedia, and see a guy sitting on his own balls? - He knows exactly where it is. - You ever seen that? Yeah, well, 'cause they don't raise awareness about that one until South Park makes a joke out of it. You know, this is why I have to have a grab for when I do surgery now, because you can't go get help now. - What? - Hand me that scalpel, so now I have to reach over. - Oh, yeah, you saved money, though. - I saved a lot of money, and I use one grabber for everything. I got a one-hole grabber. - There it is, that's it. - No, yeah, but you started to play it. You don't have a web, is it? - It's the upper left corner. - Is it? - Yeah. - It doesn't look like it. - Stay dry. - No, okay, Tanner, can you find, yes, but he was talking. - Here. - I'd like to hear the gentle person speak. - The genital, look what your mind is. - You know, those are good-ass, didn't they? - Dr. Schatz. - Wait, but where's the video? - Is this your type, Dr. Schatz? - Hold on, there's a video. We still haven't heard from the person. Do you have the video you found? - I didn't find it originally, it was from someone else. - Who was it? - Do you know what this guy here is? - Tiger, is this ghost named Cougar? - Yeah, this is black Cougar. - Okay. - Where is it? He's black Panther's brother. - Oh, black Cougar. Oh, that's a good concept. You know, I always thought black Panther should have a white brother because he has a white creator of the series, you know? - Well, look, guys. - Is that it? - What's going on here? - I don't think it's not working. - Well, it feels like it's not hard to get this. It's to me. - It doesn't matter. We got distracted. We were like, literally creating the greatest movie ever. - I'm gonna tell that brother. - This movie is, oh, he was just there. What is happening? It just was there. Okay, there it is. - Well, we're getting better shit. - This is A-Artist Loffins. - Wow, more AI Slop. - It's kind of sad, guys. Why don't you do something for real? - 'Cause I was like, dude, okay. Even using all my doctor skill with three claws in me, using this grabber, I could not do a breast job. That good. - It's Slop. - Using this grabber and making sure not to hit the side so that our nose doesn't light up and go like. - Hey, what's this furry that you-- - That means you did surgery bad. - Oh, sorry, miss. - What's the furry? Why'd you send that? What is that? - Sorry, I wasn't supposed to, sorry. - And what was that about with the furry? All right, so I'm sorry that had you go on that chase because it's AI. - Yeah, that was a real-- - I don't even know if we can show it. - It's probably illegal to even-- - That was a drag. That was a real drag. That's self-destructive on your part. I'm helping you craft what could be the most monumental fucking movie of the decade. - We've come to a crossroads now because I like, okay. Now, on my life, it does say shots, but my name is SCHOTZ, but I do like shots like that so it's like got kind of a double meaning. - You're a Palestinian doctor who helps trans kids get breast implants. - Well, I don't think I'm Palestinian. - Why? Oh, that's interesting, why not? Dr. Schott. - 'Cause I feel like that's not a real thing that they're into. I don't know if you're familiar with October 7th, but it's the great Douglas Murray will tell you who, remember we had Rabbi Dave Smith who was destroyed by Douglas Murray in a debate? And as Douglas Murray correctly points out, Palestinians hate gay people. - Okay, fine, so you're not a fucking-- - So he wouldn't be Palestinian? And it's kind of-- - I'm the saying that you have to have a year. - This is a redemption arc for you. - Well, no, I'm a historic redemption arc for my kid. - No, it's for you. - No, I'm a doctor, does it. I'm a fan, look, I'm a busy big city doctor at Plannedo. - He still has your clothes minded a little bit. - Who helps make sure we get the job done. - Your clothes minded a little bit. - I don't think so. - You're kind of like, exactly. This is gonna be the precious moments between you and your estranged-- - We'll put the poster back up. - Wow, you're good director. You led me right into that. - Yes. - You led me right into it. - I did. - You got it. - You got it. - I think you get this project. A lot of people that I had didn't get it and you just got it. - I get this project. - Put that poster back up, a cougar. - No, it's me, Tanner. - What the fuck does cougar do? - He does. - I don't know what's happening, but I'll tell you this, what, I think finally, someone's gonna bring shots to life, the novel. 'Cause look at the great novel, the old trade paperback cover one second. Can you please put up that fine cover one? - Yeah. - So, you know-- - It could be a novel. - But let's just compare the final movie to the, I mean, so this is the original. It's a little bit grittier. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. As you can see, I'm playing two parts in the movie, I guess, in the book. - Yeah. - No, that's Duncan. - It is? - Yeah. - Oh, I can't see. - Yes, you're in the shot. - You're in the shot. - And you're in the shot. The shot is also good, so hold still. Look, it's great, look. - So, okay. And I liked that for the book, okay? And I know a lot of the hardcore fans are gonna say it was ruined. And oh, now cut to the other one. So that's the original. They're more of a, like Jack Reacher thing, but of helping as many abortions happen as possible. - Okay, this is the, okay, here's an important scene. So-- - Oh, he's the abortion that got away. - Well, no, your son is upset. When you guys first meet-- - Well, I haven't been in his life. I've been wandering around. - But also-- - Pardoning him with fetuses and-- - But also-- - His girlfriend's pregnant. And he doesn't know what to do. And you help give his girlfriend an abortion. - Dude, that's awesome, 'cause I was afraid that he would never get a girlfriend. 'Cause he looks so fruity. - You're proud of him. - I don't mean that as some kind of gay slur. He literally has a candy popcorn shirt on. - Yeah, you can't believe it. - So I'm like, so the moment when I find out he knocked up his girlfriend. Yeah, more, see, this is your close-mindedness expanding. - And I realize-- - This is a huge moment. - And then I realize-- - And then I realize, it's just like how I love hair metal. And if you look at girls, girls, girls by Motley Crew, Motley Crew are all trans- - Okay, look, here's what we do. We're gonna act out the scene. I'm gonna play your son. This is just after you gave my girlfriend an abortion. - Oh, shit. - I'm gonna have to have a claw for this. - Okay, I'm so happy. - This is getting heavy, dude. - I'm so happy. I'm so happy. - You're happy, but you're happy. And this is that moment. - I'm glad someone gets what I do. - Dad, dad, dad, I just wanna thank you so much for giving my girlfriend an abortion. Thank you. - Well, Jaun, what do you prefer to be called? Jaun? - Jaun is anything you wanna call me dad. I'm glad to hear you call me son. - I gotta say, he really showed me that you still got a lot of sperm in those balls. And I was afraid, I'll be honest. You had some kind of maybe some hermaphroditic issue. - Yeah. - Where maybe a life of like, they call it scissoring, but honestly, God, son, in between with me, I don't know what the fuck that is. How could that even be good? - I've got come, dad. I can get people pregnant. - And you got, it's not like you got, you know, when I heard that, I'm telling you true, son. - Yeah. - I was afraid that it was like some poly, you know the polycule is? - Yeah, I do that. It's like a snake ball of fugglies. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - A bunch of people sticking, God knows what to do. Who gives a shit where, toss them in a barrel, seal it up, you got a polycule. - Yeah, I just want you to love me. - And I think I'm well on the road to doing that. Even though I hate it. You're a fruity little shirt and the thing with Mario and the mushroom that's an abomination and I honestly I don't see as a as a loving Christian how any God could forgive that but you know what you knock that bitch out and you like a like a manch and you can I think that should be a gender a mench and that's what you are to me uh what's the what's it by your judge's name anyone what what's his name line well have you tried the new love that makes no means go yuck when a two and three and four oh shack up and fuck it's called a polycule yeah yeah a nasty polycule if you stumble on a snake ball made of fuck please or for fat trees who want to get that snuggly it's called a polycule I said a polycule an autistic wrecking made a few recent things and everything will end with hard feelings sounds like your home with you yeah yeah a funky polycule a group of forgips a shitstick in God knows what in Christ knows well just toss it in a barrel and seal it up toss it deep in the best before I throw up it's called a polycule just do the scene or what we have to be tasteful you have to handle this very carefully I just want you to love me dad and you know what I just want to be able to love you as well John I don't like that name for you I'll go back to the thing so I could just look at his dumb name we got it you got it I think it was good I just kind of see I yeah I think it's good like something's missing in the scene we skipped it because we look I love that scene but we didn't earn it yet because we haven't seen right the parts where that's better home that's now I know people go hey this is like kind of put the book cover next to it does it because there's a lot of fan conversation you know as you know we got a kind of soft dig East Asian Indian woman to be in charge of directing the adaptation of the gritty novel Dr. Shots where do we find her at an investors meeting at Davos this past two summers ago not that little stupid little ass small time Peter teal one let's think about we're a little bit bigger than that this is you talking Dr. Shots here let's let's talk dink frinkman let's talk about the road trip what what what gets you guys to go on this road trip like what is the journey where where are you going with your strange son oh okay it's something to do with his mom yeah is like and it's something like where he okay so he's in one of them a camps that rich people put their kids in like where they get kids yeah yeah but you you're like a bad rich kid right you're going to pick him up maybe hit that camp well this before I got I'm just fucking the bitch I just got here okay Dr. Shots on the road yeah you know maybe I knocked his mom up too yeah okay so now there's a complication so now I got to go back and deal with this shit and she's already got us so yeah it's it's really simple opening okay I don't even like his mom that much dude honestly right and I mean to be like it goes this is your son but you're seeing as a doctor Dr. Shots it goes against my oath to harvest and reap the souls to bring us on the world to this woman is like I'm trying to convince her okay to party with Dr. Shots yeah kind of this is your this is this is this is and she says okay I need you to pick my son up from the troubled okay school he went to for bad boys who were smoking weed and not going to school and I you know I'm a very wealthy women woman we had him kidnapped and sent to school where they attack you and tell your fat until you like break down inside yeah yeah so I need to pick him up from that camp and I know that's why he looks like that you need to go pick him up and I'm like all right fine I'll pick up your fucking it's got to know it's got to be you apparently this kids are real fat yeah it's got to be your son it's got to be your son but that's a surprise I see you don't know it's your son so I think I'm going to abort my son that she's about to have but I'm actually getting to know the son she secretly had without aborting him without telling me right that's and this is how you get to know your son and can this old Reaper what's the opposite of grip okay can this gay Reaper do you think pitching it I should say gay do you think they'll get that well how I get a Reaper that you're a gay Reaper now it's grim on the surface but it's the opposite see he needs to make you suffer just set you free so stay inside and I think of her riding shotgun forever like the party's still on cool back to shots is the gay Reaper no not gay like that is the party keeper one last night that you're your cop a good you get to be so you're so like the steady wood it's got to shots I'm just I'm just a man I think if we're still at the point where you like you can't you can't use a term like okay cut I'm worried about in the very very Ford thinking film and I think it's very advanced I think it's it's going to push some boundaries and push some buttons you know what I'm going to put to set assignments like I did last week the first mr mr. Reacon because I'm and I'm not even I know it's oh what you being I'm not joking like I swear that I would love to know his perspective on this pitch yeah yeah okay you can help us develop look there's no sarcasm or jokes they can take away from the honest fact yeah there's no way to take me saying that other than I genuinely would love to know how he feels about that bitch because I wasn't into it first but then I it really I don't know the way you pitched it really got to me do you think doctor sorry do you think dr shots dies at the end of this no I think the mom dies okay get this yeah the mom dies because there's no purpose to her life now that we've been reunited me in the sun yeah yeah why does she have perfect it's kind of a slag and um so she had so she so she how does she die at the end of this and what is it um probably ashamed from like her only fans or something I don't know you know honestly I think the mother's the least important and not interesting character if I'm being quite honest it's just some somebody I blew it in on the road and whoops I create whoops I created life when I was supposed to be taking life yeah as that's my oath yeah you know it's a gay Reaper right wow this is real coming together it's really good I like and that's great background music because perfect it's just like you maybe this is the music you giving an abortion I had planned parenthood running from a room to room helping them maybe you only have a room party until the abortion wait how about this the baby the baby is in within in two minutes the baby will be too old to abort on that is the reason why you're trying to abort the baby before it becomes something it's a race against time and you don't have the right tools like a much like I mean what is this third-world conditions we're over booked someone give me some scissors we don't have any scissors a broken piece of glass a bottle well no it's I have to make a bang out of something see we party him we party him out we give him a little bit of uh uh what do you call Ukrainian aftercare yeah some vodka yeah Anyway, um, wait. Oh, my phone. Excuse me. I'm my phone is blowing up right now Because people want this property, but I heard nobody Nobody's led me to the ideas. I needed to realize it. Dude, I'm telling that there's no one piece missing from this fucking picture and that sets on And I know these things man. I'm a doctor. You could help us punch it up And I would like him Because I think so far we've got on our hands a real the film of that an all today's audience will identify way absolutely I think there's something for everyone to see themselves in America in yeah, I do too and a lot of foreign markets They're gonna see themselves. I think it's incredible. We go back to my uh, this is a four-quadrant film. It's great for kids We haven't even cleared it with my son yet. Wait go back to the guy Go back to we gotta get him to agree to be in this you know tanner. I hope you guys are on that This one. What's his fucking name? Go back to him Okay, we're getting ahead of ourselves and and there's a lot of great work There took a team of people to make that poster. Oh, you know what fuck fuck my son. I want to I that came out wrong What the fuck Honestly is but let's talk about that potential people are gonna take that wrong. Okay, I'm saying fuck Okay, wait, wait, hold on hold on. Don't send me you just don't fuck me on this. Don't last week. Uh oh now y'all are gay Don't sense here last week. I don't know if you remember what I said But uh guess what didn't get cut the exact thing I asked you but you did say it. You want to fuck your time? I did surgery like that I'd be out of business Dr shots you did say you want to fuck your son. You got to follow that creative like what does that mean? No, no that Yo, all right, let's again. This is okay. What's his name is that like a tension in the film? Look at do you see my is there a tension between you and him In this film um you have to be brave enough to just hey, hey, hey, we're not going for the palm to or Where my army hammer in his last roll hollywood loved? Yo remember do we have to watch the ad really? Do you remember an army hammer? Oh, it's just romantic music. Well, it's terrible Yeah, do you remember how? Um army hammer was in uh call me by your name put put put that just a preview of it So they all hated him after because he said he was going to eat a bitch on the phone, but again did he eat a bitch? No, but he was I guess it's good. I know the guy is all talk, but he's actually a pussy A guy is actually a beta I'll eat the bitch, okay That's doctor shots for you. That's the gritty old doctor shots And that's why it's going to be so interesting for him to meet his son It's like it up in god of war where they made you raise a teenage boy They're in the newer sequels of the divorce god of war divorce dad Dude, and now you can play as the mom and see what she was doing during this operation. Do you I'm not making that up I heard about that expansion They said they're selling his major you can play as the divorce mom. Yeah And I'm I like god of war Yeah, but real war is marriage and kids, isn't it That's I think the point of it Yeah, but no, that's just look The I'm getting overstimmed if I'm being honest. I better calm down. I gotta go. I gotta take a shit Yeah, and then also I'm holding a shit, but I want to hear that trans woman speak that they were talking over before we shit Which woman the CIA lady. Yes, I want you to come back to that Okay What was this some I missed all of this is this new what news? I don't know. I just googled trans CIA agent Weird this is August 17th, so so this is some kind of pants CIA Oh, okay, okay, okay, but they're not gonna say something with Israel, so they're gonna go like oh, he's weird Mike Pence as Darryl James the SSB veteran told us is a piece of shit And I do believe that's why I believe this week as he knows Mike Pence is a fucking Mike Pence is always weird Somebody has a close-up of him passing like when a coin of one of them secret societies He just is he just seems so strange It's like the exact story of Darryl James Yeah, it does We did did he say Pence was an alien or something? No, he said that the his handler Robert was from a timeline where they did they eugenics everybody and it fucked up Are we not gonna fucked up, but as a side effect everybody kind of look like their Mike Pence are related to Mike Pence So his hand will okay now I bet you hit Mike Pence was his handler probably is what it means, but I don't know Like whatever this is odd the Pence CIA transgender Analyst I don't it's just very odd very modern Very in tune with the zeitgeist very weird. What is the zeitgeist another another eyes means the world spirit You never heard of the zeitgeist So oh the world ghost. Yeah, he's right guys. Yeah, basically. It's like who made that up by the way that's fucking um What is that chairman? Shoping hour. Oh, that's good thing and Tanner probably was a German. That's what it says a great great. Hegel That's really good. Hegel. Oh, fucking Hegel Is zeitgeist, you know, I hate that old wizard, but yeah, it's it's actually like I hate to dialect that's what I hate the most That's the two party system, but but if you it's a good word forget the rest of it If you look at the spirit of the times That's very in tune with the at least the political zeitgeist is weird shit like that like just strange crossover That don't make sense and give you a An uneasy. Give me an example of one though. That's interesting idea Mike Pence connecting With a transgender CIA analyst in a kind of public way clearly funded by some kind of PR campaign or With the intent of Spreading some former propaganda that is within the political zeitgeist that is the kind of stuff So that's why I hate zeitgeist you see zeitgeist in this case Is is another name for a matrix formed by the world's ghost eating you and digesting you like Saturn I hate it. Okay, um one Know that's not a weird connection Mike Pence is involved in very bad things and so and here at mystery boys one thing that we love to point out Is on things like that where It doesn't make any sense, but then you look into it and turns out know it actually makes lots of sense if you bother to look into it a little bit How how what's the connection? Well, he's part of the filthiest secret societies. There are which ones the CIA for starters She said play the video. We'll play the thing first. Yeah, what is Pence's connection to the CIA? Well, let's listen Well, all these guys like him their connection is monarch don't ever forget that it's monarch But let's hear what she says incredible And for me personally who had had these two dreams all of my life that unexplainable in either case I've wanted to be a CIA officer and having this conviction that I should have been born a woman It's not an explainable bitch. It was incredible to see both of these things happen Together and have Mike Pence be the one To tell my mom that she should be proud of her daughter You hear this? I have covered Mike Pence for a long time. That story doesn't surprise me Me neither. Yo, that is dark. Wow Play the word she said at the beginning play the beginning what she said again Listen to one to one time if you're not catching it If you're not a doctor at home. Go ahead play it play it. Can you talk about What happened Towards the end we'll be able to read between lines of what he said to you He had asked me to extend and I did work an additional few months and at the end he invited my family to the West Wing including my mother and He had My mom had had a very difficult time at one point with my transition when I transitioned genders many years before and I'm standing there in Mike Pence's ceremonial West Wing office And he's taking my mother's hand and he said You must be very proud of your daughter Wait, what happened And I'm just sitting there looking at the scene thinking this is We this is you know, this is incredible And for me personally Who had had these two dreams all of my life unexplainable in either case I wanted to be a CIA officer And having this conviction that I should have been born a woman uh-huh It was incredible to see both of these things happen Together and have my you solve the mystery To tell my mom you did anybody solve the mystery of what the fuck is up with that what solve it solve it Holy shit so Mike Pence because he's a fucking scum creep ask this trans CIA person to extend their service And then invited even their mother to the White House ceremonial room, okay, and said you must be very proud The mother had a problem with her son being castrated But Mike Pence, the fucking boy handler who facilitated this Ky Bell worship, the ceremonial room of the sacred Andrew John, that the CIA filth worshiped him. He told the mother who wasn't sure about sacrificing her boy's balls. You must be very proud of your daughter. So he's gaslighting the bitch on top of whatever shit happened to this fucking poor bastard that gave them the inexplicable dreams of a wanting to join the CIA. - I see dreams. - We can't explain. Why would a little boy feel this their whole life? A weird pull they've never felt. - There's two things I want. - Yeah, I need to join the CIA and be castrated and say I'm a woman and my mom goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" - So, every year of the programming that Dr. Shaw's keeps telling you about, do you see how sinister what you just fucking heard was? That was MK Monarch fucking vile shit. If you're too stupid to see it, that's the goal. That means you're successfully and autistic enough, Seth Simon. Seth Simon, I know you're a fucking spurred, but can you read between the lines on the fucking evil that you just heard? You sweet man, and then can you judge our script? It stopped jerking me around. I sent you a script to look at. Did you look at it? We worked hard on that. - Who even knows about the CIA when they were a kid? - I mean, that's the craziest shit. - You know, she did say it wasn't usual. - Yeah. - So, you live in a fucking Amarooka and people sacrifice their kids' dicks to the beast. - So, she was some kind of like-- - The sacred Andrews shot. Goes back to jail. - You're a man, you're like-- - You see the Garfield, the president got shot by James Gattew. - What? - Netflix has a little thing about it. You know, James A. Garfield, he was a president that was shot. - Yeah. - Okay, so he was in that, the French Masons. Do you know that? What's that's gonna like this? - I don't know about the French Masons. - The ones, that's where the creepiest shit of Freemasonry started. - Okay. - Even though Freemasonry itself without the French part, what are you doing? Look, without it saying it did anything bad. Why are you going there, and why the fuck are you doing that? I still don't get it why you're doing it. Oh, to build better men. Where are these men? - Honestly, I'm gonna-- - You mean Shaq, fuck you. - I think it seems fun. - Right, but why? Why would you join, it's like a fraternity. Why do we have those things at all? - I just feel like-- - Anyone-- - I think that there could be a lot to learn from it, and I think people-- - You-- - Yeah, there's a lot to learn about that, right? - I have the impulse to ask about becoming my-- - Dr. Schoss will teach you in one part-- - You're good, because there might be more to it than what Dr. Schoss has. - Look, Dr. Schoss team, perfect. Sometimes people survive a party with Dr. Schoss, but they got stories from the afterlife, I can tell you that. - I think it seems like a great activity for young men. - Are you doing the-- Yo, don't put the triangle in manifestation on me. - I'm not doing the triangle. - Yeah, you do. - Dr. Schoss. - Yo. - That just looks like a triangle to you. - Yo, I know-- - Ah! - You got it, you got it. Yo, I'm a wandering. I'm a wandering party Kavorkian doctor. Do you understand that? So you got to get up pretty early to put one over on Dr. Schoss with a moodra that I can identify. - It's not a moodra. - Of course it is, and I can tell you the exact one. It means you're a homo. - All right, you're-- - Let's get going. - I'll show you the only moodra. How about that one, Dr. Schoss? What does that mean? - It's like, I can see-- - So get off my back if I do this. - Dude, we make the preview, the clips of the movie preview. - It's got to see, like that's in the preview. Tell me what that means, Dr. Schoss. (laughing) - I love it. I really love that you-- - I'll hold on just a minute. Masonic handshakes and head signs and handshakes. - That doesn't seem secret. - It's not. - A lot of these don't seem secret like this. - Well, okay, so Garfield, who was shot, I wanna point this out. Dr. Heather Lynn, your friend of the show, Dr. Heather Lynn. - Yes? - She went to, I don't know what archive she went to. She'll tell you when we see her at that thing. So, your rear of the palladium level of free mason that supposedly doesn't exist? - No. - You're a real fucking son of a bitch. - I don't know anything about the mason's, but I do think it'd be a great activity for a young man. - That's what you seem to know quite a lot. - Service community. - My friend Seth Simon said you're obsessed with it as a matter of fact, so I don't add up. And you think Sassaline? 'Cause I don't think he is. Oh my God, thank you. And now there we go being useful. Let's look right to the right there of what, my friend, what was your name again, sir? - I don't remember. Oh, God. - Irving Copperfield. - Yes, sure. - Now, if we look right here, look at the hand sign you made the triangle of manifestation. - Oh yeah. - Here it is. - That's not what I was doing, though. So. - What? - I wasn't doing the triangle of manifestation. - What were you doing? - Doesn't fucking matter. What are you the fucking handshake police? - Okay, well, oh those two black guys, okay. - I'm making the handshake, but I want. And I'll decide if I'm manifesting through it. - We won't know, honestly, we could all talk about what kind of handshake is what. And this is a fact, we won't know what kind of it is until I stick my dick through it a few times. - Okay, well, you don't have to vulgarize everything. - No, no, that's the finger of Osiris that unlocks the key. - Hey, the Masons have been around for a long time. I mean, to last that long there must be something there that's cool. - Oh shit, you know, or you know, I never. Wow, you know what, I never even considered that. - Yeah, they've been around a long time. - Well, you just blew the shit out of me. - To last that long. - To last that long. - Oh, look at, is that LeBron? - Yeah, he's just doing a handshapes. That doesn't mean anything. - And to me, that's what that handshake will always mean. Hey, it's been around, could you say it again? That was beautiful. - It's been around a long, long time. So there's probably something to it. There could be something there. - That's all. - Wow, man, I had never even, even in all my years as a doctor. - Dr. Schatz, look, just 'cause your doctor doesn't mean you know everything. And you know what, you're not gonna think of everything. But yeah, the Masons, they've been around a long time. And if I, I'll tell you one thing, I'm older, dude, if I was a younger man, in kind of wondering like, how do I become a better person? I don't know, that's one thing I check out. Among other things. - Oh, I'm getting distracted, sorry. The legal deltonine, when the ginseng mixture is not as good as you would think. - What do you mean? - A little bit low on the ginseng, put it that way. A little high on the deltonine, this one. - I kind of noticed that. - Yeah, I'm almost ready for surgery. - I didn't taste any ginseng at all. - It might have not, you know what I said, God, it might be just deltonine. - Yeah. - But, you know, I mean, I've expanded my second butthole today, I could tell you that. - Dude, I'm widening, dude, this month. - Dude, right between, right here, and the second butthole. - I think, you know, October's always been a widening month for me. - Oh, oh, yeah, dude. How do we make a, could you get on something with this, of making like a, like a sober October with a gaping, like gape, gape-tember? - Gape-tober? - Gape-tober's good. - Guys, it's gape-tober. - Gape-tober. We're all wide. - Why is it for that? - It's a wide area. - I lost gape-tober. - You stopped, you dropped out? - Yeah. - I have not dropped out, I'm still widening. It's uncomfortable. - You said I've had enough gaping for the season. - Oh, I can't go anymore. - My taint's too small. - You could go further. - You should read David Goggins. - I can't. - I know you, and I know the signs on this, the surgery, there's nothing they could do for that. - I don't know what to do. - You could be better off becoming a woman, probably. - Hey. - I mean, if you want to go to the surgery route, I believe in people going on all natural, but you know how it is in today's fast-paced holiday. - I hate that all natural thing. I say go surgery. - Dr. Cheshats, what do I do for my little taint? - I mean, there's counseling you can get. There is literally, there is nothing that I know of. And I can personally, with them, I have only three white claws. And a lot of Delta Nine, I can create, I can fashion a penis from the generals of a biological female. - Okay, wait. - But I cannot make the taint. It's like leading a horse to water, but I can't make your taint. - Hold on, wait, wait, wait, I've got the scene. Okay, so Dr. Cheshats's son somehow has seen how big Dr. Cheshats's taint is. His dad's taint is huge. - Oh, my taint is passed on to the next level. - This is a big moment, 'cause your son's taint is tiny. It's like a tiny, it's the jinsy taint. - So as long as you knock that bitch up, I'll care so much. - Here's the scene. He's telling you, he saw your taint, he's crying. He's got this tiny taint, and you're gonna tell him that in the Dr. Cheshats kind of way, even though he has a much smaller taint, you still love him. So let's do the scene. - Action. - You know. - Dad, I saw your taint. - This is like the biggest part of the movie too. - Good. - Dad, I saw your taint, it's giant. I've never seen a taint that big, dad. It's so small. - Look, look. I always said, I'd never wanted you to have to see my team the way. Because I knew you had a small team. I knew you got up and you shit about it. And I would be too, because that's a small ice team. OK, and I always try to do my best to cover it up for your boys. So you've never had to even know. If I was in my power, you would have never even known. If they found my team print, I would make a plaster cast of it. And I would say to the Smithsonian to lock it up for 80 years. Because I know the ontological shock that it would do. Never wanted just to my son, but to our entire society. So yeah, that is something I thought about. But dad, how can you help me with a little thing? Well, because you knocked that bitch up. I never thought, no, I don't want to get ahead of it. I'm just saying I could love you, because we just met. I don't know, man. But once you got that bitch pregnant, I realized that it's not about your team or my team. I feel like you tried to-- Look, I have about a different, more angry scene. Dad, I saw you judging my tank. Because it's small. I feel like you judged me for my team. Yeah. Do you want me to just say it? It's too small of a tank. So what? It's not varsity material. Dad, my team might not be big like yours. But my heart is open. And maybe that's something that you're missing. Well, son, maybe it is. But that's why you're a-- [MUSIC PLAYING] No, I know. I'm going to go deep. You don't want to go deep into our film. I do the Spielberg disclosure. Do you see that? OK, because that's the exact right amount. We're talking our film. He leaves it up to you. No, now the story belongs to you. What did happen? Oh, good luck. It belongs to you-- you decide. Vote. Should it the movie-- Should it end not here? [LAUGHTER] Should the movie end? With just him going, because you're-- I can't repeat it. We could say it once, but only once. Should the movie have another 30 minutes? Honestly, I think we should cut the epsiloner out. That was my-- what I said, but I don't know. I don't think we can even do the poll. Put a lot of people like it. And I don't know, I don't know. That's not my call. To me, I wouldn't-- I know. I'm going to say this. With all due respect, I think things got a little emotional. You threw out a slur. You got scared. Maybe that's why we-- Things were getting too deep for you. I said it, you know. Things were getting too deep for you. Because I mean, I mean, like, I don't know. I mean, that guy obviously is doing it joke, though, because it's too-- whoa. It's a powerful scene, man. Boy, now, why not do that on a magazine cover? Instead of that, it's stupid trying to go bad. I like-- I wasn't doing a triangle. Well, what was it? It wasn't matter. Again, it's just a handshake. Why do you even care what handshapes people are making? Well, a lot of them mean something. And sometimes they mean something. Why do you even care? Well, you know, being a doctor, I don't like this term, but being like a slash hobo slash doctor. Yes, a abortion doctor. Oh, yeah. No hand signs matter a lot. I wouldn't be attention. I'm riding the rails sometimes. I wouldn't pay attention. Well, if I see a-- you would never survive out there. Yeah, you would once you fucking-- I will say this very advice to anyone watching. I'll tell my son that. Don't you be on these rails, not paying attention, boy. My advice would be, I wouldn't pay attention. If I could say-- You were going to snow cone these days. If I could say anything to the world, this would be on my tombstone. Oh, no, I do like that, because that's the moral of the story. Don't pay attention. I wouldn't. Just keep doing your thing, guys. Look, the world's great. And there's lots of fun stuff. Just want to keep my head down and do my job. No, you can't. Just, you know, get out there. Networks. That works. That works, that works. You will make friends. Is that the fucking hill you want to die on? Me, your friends. Meet your wife. Not your friend. Not your baby. That is the island. And then you wake up, you go to work. And your family will be fine. And then you-- that's that. But all that other stuff, don't pay attention, right? No, there's a movie that blew, I think, kind of changed the zeitgeist, if you will. The Paw Patrol movie. No, more, a little more recent. And it was about, oh, are we living in the real world or not? And it started Olivia Wilde and Harry styles as her-- Don't worry, darling. Don't worry, darling. I don't think I saw. Wow, you have never seen the most important movies. Do you want to-- Do you want to-- Is there a preview that we could jump? Do you know the story of it? No. Yeah, I saw it. OK, can you explain to Dunkin' a little bit? What is it? Well, I don't want to ruin it. So she has this life, right? This fake, perfect, 50s life. Yes. And then she's like-- none of them are fat, but they all sit around drinking by the pool. Yeah. And he eats her pussy out on the counter all the time. OK. You know, a real hell of a fucking, almost Muslim Sharia life. So what's the story? [MUSIC PLAYING] And then she realizes something's wrong in this world is fake. And it's like Truman, no. And then it turns out, in real life, she's a very busy surgeon, like Dr. Schatz. Yes. So brain surgeon-- OK. --of successful woman brain surgeon. Yeah. And her husband takes care of her on a bed. And she's hooked up to machines. And turns over and changes her, because he didn't want her working. Because he's like a loser. So now realistically-- no. She's a loser. But think of how this blows your mind, because you're like, oh, obviously. Yeah. So the husband is threatened by his successful brain surgery wife. So he opts to keep her unconscious on life support and change her diapers and shit. So she can't go to work as like a very rich Dr. Schatz like-- So it's like her hallucinating? And the husband just is like a loser. And he works a really shitty job and then takes care of her. How's he generating income with an incapacitated brain surgeon wife? I assume the tech is free or something. And anyway-- What, it's like a computer simulation? No, this is the dumbest movie I've ever-- Every day when I say what I see. Think of our movie. Did you say something great? Did you bring this shit up? This broads a genius, the director. Think about our movie. No, what I'm saying is. We have come up with the best movie of the age. Well, OK. And you're bringing up whatever this Florence Pugeot is. Florence The Pue. Florence The Pue. It's crazy. It's like, this is-- Because I'm worried about-- This is our Orson Wells, Citizen Kane. This is the moment of the inception of something great. Got sat and drunk. You're showing me Florence fucking Pue? Exceriously. We came up with something-- This is gonna be a cut only. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Dr. Schatz is so good. OK, where-- It could be Pixar. It could be animated. We have Tom Hanks. All aboard. Do you remember there was a guy that I'm not making this up with doing vasectomies? Like, he was like a doctor of work in, but-- For vasectomies? But of your sperm tubes? That's cool. That's something that got-- Was it vasectomy truck, Dr. Schatz? Did you ever remember seeing that vasectomy truck? Wait, wait, but like, I'd like doctor to ex-- I don't-- that could be a porn. The vasectomy truck. Dr. Christopher Yang performed vasectomy. No, it's a new story. It wouldn't be like, you have to go past the AI overview that-- The electric truck to power vasectomy? Yeah, supposedly, you would drive around neighborhoods playing the Coco melons songs. OK. That's what it would run out to give vasectomies. Oh, my god. [LAUGHTER] The wheels on the bus go round and round. So if there's a vasectomy truck, people just run out, and then the Coco melons plays out of it. [LAUGHTER] Fucking guy to fix you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and fucking colorize my fucking dick cords in your drug. Yeah. Is that him? Yeah. Just try, I don't-- I don't know. I gotta die. It's Rachel. If I-- and you could judge me all you want, guys, OK? But if that's the face you got when I come to your vasectomy truck, I feel like I don't want that vasectomy. Dude, I'm-- That's exactly the face I want the person giving me a vasectomy. No, imagine you're like-- Look at that. That's a good face. You know, I'm not sure if I want to get a back of a truck vasectomy. And then that's-- Oh, what do you want? Fucking vasectomy. I mean, it's a river. And I guess it still counts as a truck, but it's not. Is this sanitary? You guys like-- I don't think vasectomies are that hard. Hey, I'm cleaning fish while I'm doing this, I don't mind. I don't think they're that hard. I don't like his look like he's like, oh, that's your tape? They're quick. I can break tape. Oh, I can cut tapes. I can't grow them. That's the thing we say. I do think part of what Dr. Shots should do is give vasectomies. Give or get? Both. Like, you could reverse a vasectomy. You could reverse your own vasectomy. Maybe you meet-- Maybe you meet-- Maybe it's a miracle of me inhaling the spirits of the people I party with. You know, it's a vital part of this Dr. Shots. Yeah, you're right. - We can't forget that part. - Yeah, is it rated R down to a PG 13 now? - That's where it, that's it. edge. But did we keep the edge? It's edgy. Of that every time that I help facilitate a passing on. What's a reverse doula? What's the opposite of a doula? Death doula? A doula for a silencer. A psychopomp. Obliviate. It doesn't matter. I'm less of a doctor. More of a psychopomp. You're letting people go. You're setting people free. You know, a psychopomp is? Yeah, I do. What is it? You mean like birds? Like, do you know what a psychopomp is? Psychopomp is like birds that appear at the time of that? Psychopompin, right in your biz. You bought it with Dr. Shodz. Dr. Shodz. Now psychopomp takes you off of the lot. Psychopomp. Should you also be in a band? Psychopomp. Yeah, they're doing it. It's like Buckaroo Bonzai. If you've seen that movie, Peter Weller. Yeah, you're also like Miley Cyrus. You have a see. Cyrus. Hannah. Hannah Montana. Handloom. You're secretly famous. She's like a, you know, a young chick, but she kind of adult. She drinks a lot. I don't know, man. Are we doing hat on a hat here? Like, I feel like it's a little too much. Well, hat on a hat is the third in the Dr. Shodz trilogy. Are we doing a hat on a hat here? Hannah, are you getting this? I need that. I need these posters with them. Yeah. Working on it. Okay. Because I feel like this has been a very productive business meeting. I like the idea Dr. Shodz has had of this act to me. He meets. No, I don't know. We're putting maybe too much in here. Bruce. That's what my kid came out of that. Remember, Brewster Millions. Brewster's millions. It's got to spend a million dollars to get the inheritance. In this case, you stumble upon a woman who has to get pregnant to get the inheritance. And there's only, like, only fans own Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue. And you have, you, like, there's only like 10 minutes left. So you have to give yourself, you have to reverse your own vasectomy. You're like that Russian doctor who gave himself an appendectomy. You do surgery on yourself. Reverse your own vasectomy. Get her pregnant. And then she inherits the money. And then she gives you guys the money that you need to give me. That's okay. Press them plans. Okay. Now, that's how you get the money to give your son, press them plan purely just based with the eye of an experienced location scout. That's going to be hell to shoot. Dude, we're going to have all the funding. You're thinking in terms of like low budge. This is going to be a, we're going to have a ticker level. We're making it a big time. Okay. This is going to be huge. Why did the female ghost busters movie not work out how they wanted anyone? Why? Why? I don't know. I'm asking you. And I want you to use your instincts. I never saw it. I didn't get around to watching that. You don't need to see it to know why I bet you can use it. Look, you, man, you ask me the questions of a qualified doctor. So I know inside you, you have a good, so you tell me why did the ghost busters look inside you son? You're going to play that kid with the gay hair and okay, okay. Why did the ghost but you're the all son? Why did the why did the all this is when you're ashamed about your taint now workout. So let me ask you a question. Can we look at a preview for? I don't let me look at a preview. I'll tell you. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, okay. You can use what you're given to work with you. What? Why son? This is how I answer your your taint question from earlier that we remember you were ashamed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Let me ask you this son. Okay. John. What? Why did the 2016 all females go supposed to reboot not workout? I don't know because they're all women. No, no, no, let's watch it first because I know you can, I know you'll get it if you see the preview. Can you please play the preview or the at least the Taco Bell tie in or the Mountain Dew tie in or the Twinkie tie in any of the things. This is crazy. I thought it was like a little bit more. Go back a little bit more for something. No, it's in it. It's just, yeah, it, there's a, they have a couple of words. It seems like they're not ignored. Go back just a little bit. One more, one more. I thought more, one more. Okay. Now, even the car looks now. Tell me, what was your name again? G2Fay. Sure. G. I want you to watch this part. All right. Okay. Again, you're watching Mr. Boys. I'm Dr. Shots here with G2Fay and I'm going to, and he's running a great line with me, my son, who's always been ashamed of how small his taint is. That's why he questions his gender. That's not why, but okay, and okay. Well, wait, I like this, but hold on, but don't lose that. Do not lose that. A nice day, son. Why did, I'll put it to you this way. Yeah, dad. Why did it's one of the 2016? Yeah. All female Ghosts, Ghostbusters reboot. They had everything behind it. It had all Sony's best intentions. It had a hot new director, Kevin Feige. Yeah. Not Kevin. You know what, son. We already had that conversation earlier in the film. Kevin Feige is how you pronounce it. Okay. And that, yeah, yeah, whatever dad. But yeah, was there a light bit of light laughs in the beginning with that? There was. And I think we all appreciate that early in the movie. Yeah, I guess. I never just just dialogue from the film. Yeah. Earlier, what do you think an audience would appreciate that we had a little bit life laughter around? Why won't you talk about my taint? Why do you always go back to Ghostbusters when I start talking about my taint? I just want you to love me, dad. Okay, wait, just a minute. I feel like you don't want to talk about my taint. Just, son, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna answer you this way. Why didn't the 2016 all female Ghostbusters reboot work? Paul and pause scene. Okay, so now, I'll watch his part because Guy, you got to know what from here, play it right now. Tell me why it didn't work. You'll see what you'll know. All right, I don't want to see. Yeah. Can play. Can you play it? And now you getting it? Is it coming together? Yeah, sucks. No, rewind that again. Show her being slimed again. I think you're not getting it. I'm not getting it. This is why, no matter, you got the best in the biz on your team. Play that again. Look at it. What? That's why you can't have female Ghostbusters. One reason alone, son. Because they get, come, they get slimed. Because when they get slimed, it's gonna look too much like Bukkaki. That is exactly right. You think that is what I know it's what it is. At the time and go back and look at the records. You will see it. That is such horses. You will see it on my mind. You don't think it's the writing. What? You don't think it's the jokes. The writing. What made the first Ghostbusters so great? Bill Murrow my slime. And I remember this to remember, you know, you talk about movies and you're like, remember when he's like, God slime. He's like, oh, he's slimy. And we'd be like, yeah, that's awesome. Because that. And that was in the previews that Bill Murrow got slimed. Yeah. Okay. And because Bill Murray was getting slimed, you know, look, look, he got, I mean, just hosed with like a horse, like a horse come. Yeah. But we don't put it together that way because Bill Murray, a guy with Andrew Callahan skin. I think you're honest, something honest. God, no, come on, man. Oh God. And the fourth eye across across the fourth eye. Across the eighth dimension. Across the fourth eye. We're not copying this whole sale. This is so stupid. And there's Bonnie Blue. Yo, dude, but Dr. Schatz fucking look as cool as Shitness. You know what? I like the way Tanner's taking the script. Now I almost want to cut that. I want to cut that fucking gay kid the whole out of it. We got to make. Oh, honestly, I liked it, but let's just cut him the fuck out of it. Cause look at this. We just wore it and I'm playing guitar. I like it. And I like that cowboy. Now I don't know if he's gay, but he can hang out. Do we figure it out? I like it. This has made me think of one, one more thing to add to Dr. Schatz. And I don't know if it's too much, but do you remember Phyllis? I only based my hair and glasses in bandana for the next 30 years of my life on it. Okay. So I feel like part of this should be Dr. Schatz. And I really based my entire look on Kenny logins exclusively because of the movie. You guys come in. That was meant to be. You guys come into a town where a Ken Paxton type has made it illegal to dance. Oswell said they'll be the more dancing. It's made abortions illegal. So you don't know abortions. No, unless you're not unless you're not a Jew. Yeah. So if you're a Jew, you can dance. That's actually good. Maybe alter title. If you're a Jew, you can dance. I don't know. We're going to what we're going to go through anyway. It doesn't. Dr. Schatz is in this town with his son abortions. It's a very repressed town. Abortions are illegal. Dancing is illegal. You know, it's almost a whole great separate movie idea. It's just of just that might be a separate great idea. It's no foot loose. Yeah. Yeah. So it's that so but it's just the dancing and abortion rule. (laughing) And the reason they're dancing is because they realized that that's how they're doing like DL on the DL abortions despite these dancing too much. - Yeah, 'cause they're having like graves where the pain is. - A doctor with a headband. And a cool hair comes and teaches them how to like, like yeah, they don't have a six flags but they can dance. They can have like one of these endurance dancing events. - That's it. - Which is illegal, 'cause that might cause a lot of-- - Dancing's, no, this is all the simplified. Dancing's illegal. - Hey, doctor shots, there's dancing up. - Dancing's illegal abortions are illegal in this town. Dr. Shots, come stand in with illegal abortions and let's are dancing. - You are the one who teaches them the abortion dance. - Right, but I love to dance and do abortion. - You teach them how to dance and abortion. - No, but that's the thing, for legal purposes and I wanna make that clear, the word, I don't like saying that word. I'd like you to stop saying it and abortion. - Abortion dance. - Okay, please listen to me on this. You gotta cut out, every time we said the word abortion, that is podcast poison. We're gonna use every other word we could think of. Now, what is that? Show me what that is up there. - What are you not allowed to say abortion? - Wait, who's that guy up one? - Who's that? - Oh, is that me Rawls? - Johnny Mathis. - Johnny Mathis. Oh my God, he probably spells it with an F. - I guess, I guess. - We're recording saying different things. We're termination of pregnancy. - No, I still, no, look at it with a shot. Oh, you know what? Now, in the Dr. Shots' verse, I would say we could just do kind of, so I like that, let's put that weird queer kid and look at that poster side by side. - It's like, it's full of-- - 'Cause I like soggy blue here, and I like, no, not the shits one. - Oh. - Sorry. - I think it's-- - Actually, yes, put the shits one up. - You have to find that for sure. - I'm wrong. Put the shits one up. I wanna see it again. That's the way it works when you're fucking workshop and shit. Sometimes you, hold on, leave it up. (laughing) I have not used this enough. Okay. So I want you seriously. - I like this. - So, jeepers McGreevy, thanks for being here on Mystery Boys and lead Dr. Jonathan Shots. You're looking at these posters. Which way Western man on this movie? - Yeah, we need help. - What do you think, just, your first thoughts? - It's huge. Anyone who wants to chip in and give us ideas for scenes, we will accept PDFs. Anything you send to us, we own completely. - But which one do you like better, just first thoughts? I'm just like on the runway. - The left and I'm going shits. - Wrong, it's Dr. Shots. - I know, we can call it Dr. Shots, but I'm wrong. I'm going Dr. Shots, but shits. - Oh, Dr. Shots. - Wait, oh, dude, Dr. Shots, Dr. Shots. - There it is, Tanner. - What? - You mash 'em all together and it's called Dr. Shots. - 'Cause you're a poop doula. - That's exactly right. - And how, that's a perfect way to wrap up this episode of the Mystery Boys. - The fourth eye. - We gotta go, we gotta go to this dinner. - Oh, yeah, we gotta, hey, I have a dinner. We're doing a double night. - Hey, keep it real, y'all. Halloween's almost here, be safe out there, y'all. - Be safe out there. If you're getting in a, of the sector, me and a truck, and the guy looks at you with like kind of a smug Asian face, and I'm sorry to make it racial, but you saw that picture. - Yep. - Don't get in the truck or do. - And that's for me, Dr. Shots, a guy who's out to kill you. We'll see you next week. Keep it real. - Pray for Tallerico. (dramatic music) - No, don't make that. You gonna get me killed. - No, give. - No, people die behind that shit. (dramatic music) ♪ He works to create your shit ♪ ♪ You can always get down like the bells ♪ ♪ Oh, it's 4 p.m. ♪ ♪ Won't hear a sound if you wonder ♪ ♪ Oh, you'll probably pass me lessons ♪ ♪ Take your story, then pour another glass ♪ ♪ Sound's grim at first, but it's the opposite seat ♪ ♪ Ain't here to make you suffer just to set you free ♪ ♪ Your soul stays inside here after you're gone ♪ ♪ Right and shut, come forever like the party's still real ♪ ♪ What is that? ♪ ♪ Thank you, don't look good, you're so piece of your soul ♪ ♪ Like you said, it was Dr. Shots ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Well, if you drive and you love it, makes no mistakes ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, when I'm two and three and four ♪ ♪ Shack up and fuck ♪ ♪ It's called a party kill ♪ ♪ When I ask you party kills, stumble on a snake ♪ ♪ Or made a fabulous ♪ ♪ Or four fat things that wanna get snuggily ♪ ♪ Let's call it a party kill, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ I say the party kill ♪ ♪ I know it's just big, right ♪ ♪ He made a phrase and things ♪ ♪ And everything will end with hard feelings ♪ ♪ Sounds like a party kill ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ A funky party kill, a group of good gifts and shits ♪ ♪ Sticking on those words into Christ knows where ♪ ♪ Just toss it in a battle and see it up ♪ ♪ Toss it deep in the abyss before I throw up ♪ ♪ It's called a party kill ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ I drive and you love the legs, know me's very young ♪ ♪ When I'm two and three and four ♪ ♪ Shack up and fuck ♪ ♪ It's called a party kill ♪ ♪ And I ask you party kills ♪ ♪ I know it's just big, right ♪ ♪ He made a phrase and things ♪ ♪ Man, everything all end with hard feelings ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Sounds like a party kill ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ A funky party kill, a group of good gifts and shits ♪ ♪ Sticking on those words into Christ knows where ♪ ♪ Just toss it in a battle and see it up ♪ ♪ Toss it deep in the abyss before I throw up ♪ ♪ It's called a party kill ♪ (upbeat music) - Gay bar is watching. (laughing) (laughing)